#and it’s like. i don’t count it as real mental illness but dang if it’s not contributing to my bad mental health. so i should shut up | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

comfy-whumpee · 4 years

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Whumping Safely 101

Many people in this community have mental health problems, face various types of discrimination, and have complicated relationships with some parts or types of whump. In particular, I aim this at people who care about the experience of survivors and others with triggers – partially because I am an abuse survivor who often flirts with triggering content as part of my love of whump.

Keeping your blog safe is difficult, takes effort, and is never a perfect process. But as the community grows and grows, it’s really important that we hold ourselves to a high standard. I would argue that this is a responsibility of all content creators, but especially those of us in the messy playground of whump.

I’ve got three sections in here: content warnings, writing with care, and community interaction. I’ve tried to make it navigable. It’s about 1.8k words. Shorter than a lot of drabbles! I welcome good-faith criticism on this topic and further questions on my own views.

Content Warnings

The biggest responsibility, in my opinion, is empowering your reader to make their own decision on whether they want to expose themselves to your writing. This also happens to be by far the easiest way to help people whump safely.

What to warn

This is a big and ever-changing topic. Some things you should warn for as a rule of thumb are anything NSFW, pet whump and box boy whump, drugs and alcohol, medical and hospital content, graphic gore, intimate partner violence, and animal harm. It can be tricky to draw the line of what counts – what needs a warning? If you’re in doubt, just warn it anyway. It doesn’t hurt.

If someone requests a trigger be warned for, even if it’s something that feels obscure or tame, show compassion and agree to the request. This is someone who cares enough about being able to read your writing that they wrote in! They want to be able to read it and enjoy it. You’re being complimented.

Otherwise, look at what other blogs tag for. You’ll see some variation in styles and levels of detail, but it’s a good way to gauge what people think is warn-worthy, when we’re often writing stuff that would already be R-rated in mainstream media.

The easiest way to make sure people don’t see your triggering content is to use a cut. Tumblr is not a very functional website and likes to delete cuts, but a cursory check of your posted content will usually tell you whether it’s worked. With asks, cuts are very spotty, so don’t be afraid to post an ask response separately with a screengrab of the original question. People often then respond to the ask itself with a link to the post, especially if it’s a whole drabble. Tumblr is weird and bad so just do your best.

Content notices

I.e., a quick summary before the drabble, usually in bold, to state what will be coming. I like to distinguish between using content notes (CN) and trigger warnings (TW) to indicate severity. Others might use the old phrase ‘dead dove do not eat’ to indicate this is a heavy piece, and often you will see qualifiers like ‘intense’, ‘mild’, ‘mention’, ‘referenced’ (i.e. it is discussed but not actively happening), and ‘implied’ (as the opposite of ‘explicit’). I’ve also seen a couple of people use ‘vibes’, which is a really nice way of demonstrating that it’s there, but not the focus. A quick paragraph like this, or just a line, lets people make a quick risk assessment on their reading.

This is also important if you’re sending in asks or requests to people. If you want to ask about something triggering, send an inquiry first about whether the blog is okay to hear it.

Tagging

Tagging is a chore, but it’s your primary way of warning people about your content. The main benefit of tagging is that you can be as detailed as you want, because can be tagging for content in general, not just triggers.

In a best case scenario, you’d tag the kind of whump you’re doing, tag triggers, tag characters, and even your ‘verses, because tagging is your index for your blog. If you tag reliably, you help your future self and your readers find stuff, and you also make your blog really dang safe. People who have unusual triggers can blacklist tags, and will pick up on your content tags to help them.

Don’t just tag your own writing. Tag your reblogs, tag your prompts, tag your asks. Yes, edit your asks to add the tags. Tag your images and gifs. Tag your images as images and your gifs as gifs.

If you aren’t up for detailed tagging for whatever reason, just tag for triggering content, and add stuff to that list if you’re asked to. My usual technique is to make a mental note of tags while I’m formatting and editing before posting.

Be aware that your first five tags will be used in search results. If you’re using tags that are associated with kink too, such as ‘shibari’, you might want to rethink your tag order if you don’t want interaction from those blogs. Also think about what tags might come up in non-whump contexts, such as ‘collar’ or ‘PTSD’. Some tactics for getting around this I’ve seen are adding ‘whump’ after the content or writing the tags in past tense (i.e., ‘collared’).

It is also a good idea to watch out for when you might be reblogging something whumpy that is intended as kink / porn / fetish, especially in images. Tagging these as spicy / nsfw / kink is a sensible move.

Writing with Care

Okay, now for the harder stuff.

I mean here to lay out some guidelines for how to write in a way that helps your reader build good faith. This is a much more nuanced topic, and it’s different for everyone. There will always be differing opinions on what should and shouldn’t be written about, what a good depiction of a sensitive topic is, and how to discuss that topic. I tried to strip this back into absolute basics that I hope we can all agree on.

Maybe your whump involves abuse. Maybe it’s gaslighting. Maybe it’s severe mental health problems, or addiction, or slavery, or you write about or analogise real-world issues. Whump deals with the dark stuff, and that’s a big part of its appeal. But don’t ever forget you’re writing the dark stuff.

(Try to) Know what you’re doing

Some of us play fast and loose with plots, medical accuracy, worldbuilding, and other things that get in the way of the pain we crave. This is all well and good, but when we start using whump that speaks true to people’s lived experiences, we shouldn’t be careless with it. I’m particularly talking about things that get represented poorly in mainstream media, such as abusive relationships, issues around marginalisation, mental illness and disability.

Be critical of media that you’ve consumed. Think about how its depicted things that you want to depict in turn. Look for opinions on fictional representations of those issues. Be aware that you might be more ignorant of things than you realise.

Look at how others are writing these issues, particularly if they’re writing from a perspective different to yours. If you haven’t personally experienced what you’re writing about, e.g., if you don’t have PTSD and you want to depict a character who does, seek out stuff written from or with experience. Listen to the experts.

If you’re looking for stuff about representation specifically, I recommend this collection of posts about ‘Braving Diversity’ cultivated by Writing With Colour, who are in themselves a fantastic resource for this topic, and have recommendations for other blogs that deal with intersecting issues.

Listen to others

Missteps are inevitable. Nobody is perfect. If constructive criticism is offered, that’s also a compliment to your writing. Someone read your work and thought about it, and thought you’d care about improving it. They’re offering themselves as a resource for helping you see your work in a new light.

Criticism is hard and sometimes hurtful, but even if we don’t think it’s accurate, there’s often a grain of truth in it. If someone tells you that your writing is harmful, think about why they’ve said that, not whether or not they’re correct. This is an opinion! Opinions are subjective! But what drove someone to send that in?

You don’t have to respond to all your criticism and definitely don’t respond straight away. Being respectful to those who are trying to help you means taking the time to consider it properly. Sometimes, they don’t need a response. Others, you might want to learn more about what they think before deciding. You might have already discussed the topic, in which case, you might just want to reblog your previous posts.

If it’s sent in bad faith or is outright hateful, you’re well within your rights to just delete it and move on. You might get the same criticism over and over again, and that’s exhausting, and you don’t have to retrace your steps for everyone.

But if it’s new, even if it puts your hackles up, you can always stop and wonder why someone felt that strongly about your work.

Take a step back

One of my better-known characters is a pet whumper who conditioned his victim to adore and depend on him. It’s not always easy to represent how deeply messed up that is within the text – though I think that’s part of the challenge – but in meta-commentary, I am always describing him as a creeptastic bastard lacking compassion and self-reflection. I hope to always give the reader the confidence that I know just how wrong it is.

This is a really simple thing you can do just to give readers good faith in you. Show that you know what you’re writing is dark and messed up. Show your understanding for the issues you’re handling and that they’re complicated. It might seem self-evident, but when you’re writing the really dark stuff, or unhealthy relationships, or institutionalised whump, you can inadvertently create the impression that you just think it’s fun. The fact that it’s fiction does not automatically absolve you. Show that you care about doing it right.

Community Interaction

I’m going to keep this one short and sweet because I will almost entirely be preaching to the choir here.

Be polite to others. Imagine saying what you’re saying to their face.

Don’t send anon hate. Just don’t. If you can send criticism off anon, do so.

Nobody is obligated to interact with you.

Nobody is obligated to monitor their own reader base.

If someone says do not interact, do not interact.

If someone says do not interact, why they’ve said that is none of your business.

You don’t need to spread the word about someone’s bad politics.

Ask yourself if your input is needed, or if what you’ve said has already been said.

You don’t have to take a side.

Take care of yourself. Take breaks. Remind yourself that whump is a small part of the world.

That’s all from me, folks. Stay safe.

#discourse...adjacent?#whump community #whump etiquette

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cometcalloway · 4 years

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@aurumsanguine asked || before - bed routine. and disabilities or illnesses. please

before - bed routine: Lorian isn’t in the army anymore, but his sense of always being on a schedule still lives there. He goes to bed on time so he can wake up on time. I could see him tying up his hair in a way that’s comfortable to sleep in, so he doesn’t have to start from scratch every morning with untangling it.

Lothric is the one who would benefit most from a schedule because his chronic pain is the worst at the end of the day, but he’s not the rule-follower, he’s the creative, and trauma only makes him that much more scattered & disconnected from a long-term sense of time. If he loses track of time, and suddenly it’s 1 am, and he’s falling asleep, and he still has all this stuff to do to get ready for bed, & it hurts to move, like. Ha ha, oh no :) & corners get cut & life goes on.

disabilities or illnesses: I already have basic info about their physical disabilities in the about section, but I haven’t said much about magic-based disabilities.

According to the wiki, Lorian is weak to magic damage. It’s shown that he can control the magic of his greatsword by sending blasts of flame at the player character, but beyond that he never uses magic. His parents are a sorcerer and a cleric, and he’s arguably descended from Gwyn. I hc that part of success with magic comes out of a sense of imagination/creativity/spirituality, and Lorian just... he’s very practical. There’s things that are real and tangible and make sense, & then there’s woo woo bullshit. He has a powerful soul in his own right, so maybe he has the potential to become a sorcerer if he ever wants to, but it would be extra hard for him, and he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t ‘get’ magic like some people don’t ‘get’ math (and he does ‘get’ math, actually, he just never made it a big part of his life). I figure he’s weak to magic because I figure not being weak to magic also has something to do with imagination/creativity/spirituality. Like, I would be in a more vulnerable position overall if a ghost threw a plate at me, compared to if a person threw a plate at me, because the ghost thing has this extra dimension of me not accepting what’s happening as real on some level. Something like that. So Lorian is a ‘math person’ in a world where imagination/creativity/spirituality plays a big enough role in day to day life that not connecting with it well starts to impact him. Not tremendously, but it’s there. That’s also part of the reason he and his sorcerer father didn’t get along so much. A jock vs. nerd thing, where Lorian is somehow both the jock and the nerd by today’s standards. I can imagine Oceiros building quite a lot of his identity around an “us vs. them” mentality, where the way he thinks & interacts with the world is superior, & ‘other people’ who think differently & interact with the world differently are personally out to get him. And then he has a kid who isn’t “us,” who’s actually “them,” & instead of rethinking his own mindset he’s like oh... oh I hate this kid.

Meanwhile, Lothric was a science experiment, & the goal wasn’t to create a comfortable living thing, the goal was to create a box with a battery inside. Instead of having a natural magic that integrates harmoniously with the rest of him, it’s all just sitting in there somewhere. And the magic that did this was evil, so his magic has an evil quality to it, too. It’s not safe for him to use his own magic consistently, which is why he relies so heavily on miracles. It might be theoretically possible to safely remove the evil tinge (and it’s dissipating on its own very slowly over time), but he’ll always experience internal magic as more of a deep well than the ‘second circulatory system’ type situation most magic beings experience. Like, the wiring for that ‘second circulatory system’ is basically there, but it’s connected to a firehose, or a giant waterfall.

I was just coming up with headcanons that made sense, & then I’m like oh dang I bet all of this would count as a disability in a world with magic.

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i7scenarios · 5 years

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(1/?) Hello! Okay... whew. I’ll start by saying I had a really hard time typing this up and made an ordeal of it because I struggled to actually write anything positive about myself (which I think must be telling of my personality lol!). That being said, I’m really excited to see what you have to say. I apologise if it seems overly negative or if I didn’t give you much to work with despite how dang long this will be! ( I’m embarrassed about the length. I am SO sorry!) Okay here I go pfff 🙈

(2/?) I guess before I inevitably say anything heavy about my personality (pff) I will tell you about my hobbies. I don’t have many outside of playing i7 and watching anime to be honest (I’m probably super boring). I have a very obsessive personality and tend to spend long chunks of time with just a few hyperfixations and will be content with those same things occupying my time. (For example, I’ve been watching [Musical+Anime] Touken Ranbu for like... hours a day since June last year 🙈).

(3/?) I do love watching new anime as it airs though, especially because it’s something routine week to week and gives me something to look forward to or something I know will be there. Aside from that I do play a few video games (mainly animal crossing and harvest moon, but I also like persona 5, the BNHA game, and other rhythm games like hatsune miku). I love to sing very much, but I don’t think I’m good at all haha. I also love to create things when I have the energy or drive to do it.

(4/?) I’ve kinda lost motivation to do anything, but I used to loooove making AMVs and drawing and generally being artistic. At least now I still do artistic things like make funny/dramatic Instagram videos or occasional cosplay! I used to be an actress and dancer (though I was kicked out of hip hop because my movements were “too fluid” LOL so I stuck with ballet) and still enjoy dancing, but not... the professional way I used to lol.

(5/?) I had to quit because of compound injuries, and then I got real chubby haha. I think by now I must have lost all of my skill in both dance and theatre (I still very much have the theatrical and entertainment driven mindset, but I don’t think I could ever get on stage again.) I love to read as well... less books and more manga now though. I don’t often have energy to do it (I struggle really, really hard with executive dysfunction in both self care and hobbies ^^;)

(7/?) Tying in with that, I love to collect things! You know this probably because we’ve done box splits together before hehe, but I have a very treasured collection of goods that I recently got a glass case for. Decorating my home and displaying my figures (which I only this past year started collecting) or posters/straps/etc is something that really brings me joy, and I guess I do consider it a hobby. Does napping count because I’m also an expert napper! Hehe okay enough of hobbies I think.

(8/?) As for my personality.. I’m a very loyal person, although sometimes to a fault. I rely heavily on my intuition for everything, but mainly when it comes to people and determining the depth of relationships. I’m super contradictory to myself tho, so I will have no trouble cutting people from my life if I’ve decided I don’t need them anymore, but then I’ll have people that I allow to walk all over me or that I will allow to have a hold on me long after I’ve managed to get away from them.

(9/?) I know that I am a handful and people only have so much patience. I don’t want to force anyone to deal with me for very long. It really doesn’t matter how good someone is to me or how much they express unconditional love.. I can’t quite stop thinking that I’ll be abandoned sooner or later, and that affects every part of how I live. I struggle to allow myself to accept love and kindness because I don’t think I deserve it, and I don’t want to get used to it because it won’t last anyhow 😅

(10) All that being said, I guess I do crave affection and love... though I tend to be a bit of a tsundere about it. Okay I’m a massive tsundere unfortunately LOL I’ll just admit it. I’m afraid of it, but I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. I’m very soft and easily hurt even though I try to be tough... I’ve experienced a lot of various abuse at the hands of men and my mother throughout my entire life, and I try to say that I’m immune to things by now, but I’m not 🙈

(11) I’m very much a crybaby and I probably always will be. (No really. I cry at the drop of a hat!) But yeah.. because of all that stuff, I find it difficult to speak to men sometimes, and I have mild touch-aversion especially with men (this is probably why I find so much comfort in seiyuu and 2D boys, but this isn’t a therapy session lololol). I DO like physical affection like hugs, but I’m a little slow to get used to it I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Ironically though, I do get lonely very easily.

(12) I like to be alone, but I also get incredibly sad quickly when I’m alone. I’m introverted and picky about who I can spend extended physical time with. My only close friends live rather far away from me, but as long as I can text or be on the phone with them I’m okay! So...I CAN enjoy physical alone time as long as I can still be in contact with loved ones even when we can’t be in the same room (if all that makes sense. I’m rambling).

(13) I’ll try to get my bad traits out of the way quickly and end with a couple positive things about myself.. ah I’m sorry. Let’s see.. I’m very easily annoyed. I don’t know if it’s a side effect of my mental illness or if it’s just a negative trait I have, but I’ve been like that as long as I can remember. I’m very picky and particular about most things, and if I feel out of control in a situation I WANT to control, I tend to snap and lash out.

I pair you with .....

Momo!

Momo is very sensitive to your past trauma, even if you have a hard time being physical with someone, Momo’s upbeat personality and nature are like a warm hug itself. The fact you were injured and had to stop dancing is something Momo can relate to. He struggled really hard when he got injured and his career in soccer was over. You understanding that pain means a lot to him. He is totally cool with you being an anime/game fangirl. After all, after his loss with soccer, he found Re:vale to fill that void and became a massive fanboy himself ^^. He loves to sing with you, helping you with lessons like how Yuki helped him. After all he struggled a lot when he started as well ^^ Momo is extremely loyal and is always thinking about others over himself. You can trust him fully, and know that he isn't going to go anywhere. He will always show you the brightest smile when he sees your face

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hellyeahomeland · 6 years

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“Paean to the People” | Directed by Lesli Linka Glatter

“Paean to the People” picks up right where “All In” left off. Carrie and Anson are speeding through the streets of Budapest Moscow Budapow. In this opening shot, their car is the only one on the bridge, adding to the feeling of just how on their own they are, without diplomatic cover, as they try to distract Yevgeny long enough to get Simone on that plane.

The arrangement in this shot!! Everyone whose face is visible is serving so much face. Simone is like, “don’t look at me.” Bennet (with facial hair!) is like, “are you fucking kidding me?” Doxie (with some pretty great side eye) is like, “I am NOT getting stuck in Budapow.” And Ms. Pink Scarf is like, “What am I doing here again? What is my job?” You and us both, Pink Scarf. You and us both.

Let’s give a full round of snaps to Sandy this season. She brought the sassy realness and Russian know-how the whole dang time. This show needs all the female energy it can get and this shot of her pulling out the chair for Clint’s “time out” is incredible. We’re not sure if she’ll be back for season eight, but if she won’t, we will miss her so.

Both Carrie and Anson know what’s at stake in this mission but in this moment, it’s Carrie who has to convince Anson how far she can and will go. We hate to say it, but the moment of recognition shared here between them screams “America First” when Quinn tells Carrie to get in the car and stay down. If seven seasons of Homeland have taught us one thing, it’s that these people all follow the same code: Get in. Get down. Shut up. Mission over self.

IJLTP.

We will hand it to the Homeland props department for getting the birthday right on Simone’s fake Carrie Mathison passport (it’s April 5, 1979). But!! Her middle name is spelled Anne, not Ann.

Simone spent a lot of time obscuring her face from the Russian officials in that car, but this glimpse of her expression after she asks Saul if he’s really going to leave Carrie--the Carrie who CLIMBED A FUCKING ROOF LIKE TWENTY MINUTES AGO TO GET TO SIMONE--in Budapow. That is a pursed lip and evil eye if we ever saw ‘em.

...And, of course, the guilt is written all over his face.

We are CACKLING at the dude in the white jacket in the background. We are not sure if he is just a really bad extra or some random stranger who saw Claire Danes in a Budapest train station and needed to share else he was met with a chorus of “pics or it didn’t happen” from his friends.

Sara and Doxie have the same birthday (November 4), which further solidifies that he is her forever man and the best Carrie Angel of them all.

We talked about the strong “America First” vibes above and the whole sequence of Carrie running through the train station is giving us heavy “The Smile” vibes, too. After seven seasons, it’s difficult for some moments not to feel like explicit callbacks from earlier episodes. After all, maybe looking at a mirror in a crowded marketplace is just Carrie’s favorite American spy woman move. But this shot, and Carrie’s smile later, are so specific that we think the homage is intentional.

IJLTP, II.

Real talk though, you really get a sense of the loneliness of the office here, as Beau faces away, back to the camera, surrounded by those heavy curtains.

Lesli Linka Glatter is a choreographer by training and she’s talked before about the diligent preparation she does before directing a Homeland episode. In sequences like these--filmed, acted, and edited with such specific clarity--that training and preparation come through loud and clear. Every shot has a purpose and we’re exposed to all angles of the action. It really is like a dance.

Here, the slow reveal of Yevgeny coming around the corner ratchets up the stakes as Carrie waits, a sitting duck in the locked room.

And here’s our duck. What’s so great about thrilling and suspenseful action sequences like this is the human moments they’re contrasted with. We can see the fear in her face as she contemplates whether to go down in a blaze of glory. She’s not made of steel. She may only have seconds left to live. She may be a hero but she is not a superhero.

Yevgeny delivers a BudaPOW (sorry, we couldn’t resist) with his punch to Carrie, but her moment of defeat is quickly transformed into one of triumph with the news that Saul and his “package” have achieved lift-off.

This smile, guys. Damn. Claire Danes is in a class all her own.

Delirious, glorious laughter. When was the last time we saw Carrie laugh?

It doesn’t last long, of course. The first rule of Homeland is that if Carrie smiles, shit’s about to get fucked up. “At least she had this moment,” we all whisper quietly to ourselves.

The shots of Saul looking down from his window at the city of Budapow--Carrie in it God knows where, the proverbial needle in the haystack--are powerful. He has left her there. And now he has to get her back.

We love this shot of everyone arrayed out like this, watching Simone’s testimony in The Room Where It Happened. Though we would like to point out that it’s hard to take Bennet seriously without facial hair. Dude, it’s 5 o’clock somewhere. Get on it! (Also there are so many VESTS this season! We count two in this shot alone.)

IJLTP, III.

This is the sequence of shots after Keane says she’ll do everything she can to get Carrie back. There was some chatter about going to Anson first (looking pensive), then Saul (looking sorrowful), and finally Max, who looks the most doubtful and suspect of them all (and, of course, almost hidden behind the others in the back). Sara actually thinks closing with Max is the most powerful. He’s been by Carrie’s side, through thick and thin, all seven seasons of this show. And after the trauma of losing Quinn last season, it’s easy to see how history may be replaying itself for him, this time in agonizing slow-motion.

So many “Pilot” vibes. This show loves playing with reversals and bookends, and having Carrie be the prisoner now is one of the most stinging of them all.

Sara would just like to say that she even looks beautiful in a Russian prison.

The book Carrie’s reading here is called Where Avon into Severn Flows, which is actually a short story by the American writer Harold Frederic and part of his book The Deserter and Other Stories: A Book of Two Wars.

Here is the opening paragraph of the story:

“A boy of fifteen, clad in doublet and hose of plain cloth dyed a sober brown, sat alone at one end of a broad, vaulted room, before a writing table. The strong, clear light which covered him and his work fell through an open window, arched at the top and piercing a stone wall of almost a yard's thickness. Similar openings to the right and left of him marked with bars of light a dozen other places along the extended, shelf-like table, where writers had now finished their day's labor, and, departing, had left covered horns of ink and cleansed utensils behind them. But the boy's task lagged behind fulfilment, and mocked him.”

It’s easy to see the parallels. Carrie is held in a Russian prison, also dressed in plain, ill-fitting clothes. She sits in a broad, vaulted room with a plain writing table nearby. Carrie might have won the battle, getting Simone back to the United States, but here in this cell, her success must feel fleeting and the irony of her current circumstance mocking.

Some major “There’s Something Else Going On” vibes here. (Sorry, we’re just gonna point out all our vibes.)

We’re just gonna call this pose from Costa Ronin the Yevgeny Lean (#IJustLikeHowHeLeans). On a more serious note, some credit needs to be given to Ronin, who brought Yevgeny to life and made him feel like a fully lived-in person. His habit of leaning back, feet propped out before him, is just one small example, but it’s representative of the care and attention he put into crafting such a three-dimensional portrait of one of the most interesting villains in the series’ history.

IJLTP, IV.

And that IJLTP shot of Carrie, alone in that Russian prison with the stakes (i.e., her mental health) now clearly defined, is followed by the rather astounding hero’s welcome that awaits Keane back in the West Wing. This reminds Sara of those tunnels that sports teams would form after a game for everyone to run through. And now Sara wishes Keane had run through the tunnel, high-fiving everyone.

It’s Tie Color Time! Note that Beau is now back to the blue tie, having resumed his position as Vice President.

Talk about sweet karma. The scene between Paley and Keane is remarkable for a few reasons. First, Paley does all the talking. Keane doesn’t even give him the respect that comes with a response. He lowers himself to his knees, literally begging for her mercy.

Keane is often shot from below, highlighting her stance and power. But here, it’s a point-of-view shot. We see what Paley sees: this woman, whom Saul once claimed could not “rise above her own vindictiveness,” closing in on him, a bird of prey who’s finally made her catch. And then she spits in his face.

The Washington Monument, which sits due east of the Reflecting Pool, adds great dramatic effect to this beautifully shot (and scored) moment after Keane leaves her meeting with Paley. Despite the monument’s great size, in these shots its height matches Keane’s, which is likely intentional.

As the monument was being completed. Joseph R. Chandler, a Freemason and member of the House of Representatives said:

“No more Washingtons shall come in our time ... But his virtues are stamped on the heart of mankind. He who is great in the battlefield looks upward to the generalship of Washington. He who grows wise in counsel feels that he is imitating Washington. He who can resign power against the wishes of a people, has in his eye the bright example of Washington.”

As she drives back through the DC streets at night one last time as President, she’s clearly at a crossroads. History has its eyes on her. (We will also continue to make ALL the Hamilton references.)

We’re not sure if this moment was scripted or if it was a choice by Claire in the moment. Either way, what’s happening? If she praying? Thanking God? Carrie’s relationship with religion and atonement has been basically nonexistent since the show devoted attention to it in season five. We wonder if, like Brody before her, she may be discovering--or rediscovering, as it were--it while in captivity, a salve for her inevitable isolation.

A few things to note from this headstone:

It’s the tenth anniversary of Andrew’s death.

Are we really meant to believe Keane is old enough to have had a kid in 1979? Elizabeth Marvel was born in 1969, which means she’s playing at least ten years older than she actually is. Sara does not buy this, but whatever.

Andrew is born mere weeks before Carrie, which in hindsight kind of shifts the relationship between Keane and Carrie in season six. Carrie really could be Keane’s daughter, and if Carrie indeed did see her in some small part as a mother figure, it frames her conflict with Saul last season--and the battle for Carrie’s loyalty--in an even sharper light.

This is just a gorgeous light, the rows of headstones filling the bottom half of the screen and the large, overgrown tree framing Keane in the top half. It’s her figurative “moment alone in the shade” (figurative because she’s not really in the shade, but y’all catch our drift).

Again, it was impossible to properly capture the moment when Carrie congratulates Aleksandr through anything other than a gif. The quiver in her voice, her attempt at a forced smile. After this moment, the lighting in the room shifts--she is literally forced to see the light, as the direness of her circumstances are fully revealed.

This is the last time we see Carrie before the “seven months later” coda, so now’s as good a time as any to talk about the truly tremendous work she did this season.

From the opening episode, Claire took us on the tenuous, tumultuous journey of Carrie’s war with her own mind and the battles waged within. Every episode, every moment was brought to life with exacting precision. Sometimes we loved her, and sometimes we hated her, but Claire’s commitment to every moment never wavered, whether it was seducing Dante, having nightmarish visions of her bloodied daughter, or inching her way across that GRU roof.

The throughline of this season of Carrie’s mental health makes this moment and the final scene land with even more crushing weight than they otherwise would. When Carrie experiences a breakdown so harrowing and frightening, she goes to extreme lengths to restore her own sanity. In the last three episodes of the season, we see just how invaluable that sanity is--her mind is both her greatest asset and greatest liability.

Carrie knows here what’s about to happen. She stares, eyes wide open, almost as if she’s glimpsing into the future at what lies before her. There’s no safety net this time, no pills or ECT to pull her back or hit the reset button. But for as much as she knows that she’ll lose her mind (in every sense of the word, it turns out), there is also great uncertainty, looking into “the bottom of a black hole with no walls.”

Something we find super interesting about this sequence is just how many perspectives LLG gives us of Keane’s speech, whether it’s Wellington’s from inside the Oval, Saul in his office, or Yevgeny in Budapow. Again, LLG’s choreography background comes shining through. For almost the entire speech, we see her presidency--and what turns out to be its final moments--through everyone’s lens except her own.

LLG doesn’t shoot Keane center-frame, without some extra filter of a screen, until the very end of the scene, after the speech is over. Keane talks earlier about wanting to speak directly to the American people, from the heart, but what we actually get is everyone looking at screens, at the filtered version of this woman and her office, a metaphor if ever there was one for her short-lived presidency.

As her speech (which, like Washington’s Farewell Address, focuses on the need to not let political parties and divisions tear apart the country) nears its end, we do see Keane center-frame. But, again, it’s a shot of her center-frame on the screen, and her appearance is somehow altered and filtered.

(A quick note about her wardrobe: Keane starts the day grieving for her son at Arlington, and she keeps on the same black clothing during her speech, a signal of the impending end of her presidency. The dangling earrings are also an interesting choice, and an unusual one for Keane, who usually wears studs or conservative-looking hoops. Like Carrie in “Species Jump,” this is as close as she’ll get to “letting her hair down,” and the unconventional jewelry choice conveys the peace she’s found with her decision.)

And now the lights come down on Keane and her presidency, in every sense of the word.

The dynamics of this scene remind Sara of the end of “The Choice,” when Saul sees Carrie in that hall of dead bodies after thinking she’d died in the explosion. They shared a moment of recognition at the end of that scene, standing in stark contrast to what unfolds here.

Here’s our first good shot of Carrie, and there’s a lot to take in. The swollen face and unkempt hair are startling, to say the least. Under her bulky black coat she’s wearing white (you can see a peak of her shirt here but her pants--not visible in this shot--are also white), indicating she’s been in an asylum.

The season opened with Carrie running on a treadmill, athletic and strong, the buzzy chords of jazz blaring in our ears. It ends with our heroine on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. She’s feeble and unsteady, running away from the Russian guards and straight past Saul. We hear jazz again, but it’s slower and somehow weightier.

As Saul gently brushes the hair from her face and looks into her eyes, calling her name, she is seemingly unable to recognize him. Her eyes dart from side to side, up and down, but his remain steady on her, and we can see (and share) the concern and devastation etched on his face.

She’s searching, and so is he.

#homeland #homelandedit #paean to the people #lesli linka glatter #*#in the director's chair #by: sara #by: gail #vibes on vibes on vibes

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yyhwritingrequests · 6 years

Note

Hey there! Could I get a drabble where Hiei's S/O breaks the news to him that the disease they have is going to kill them in the next year or so? How does he react? Thank you guys so much! :))

ANGST ANGST ANGST here wego! You didn’t specify a gender so i’m using they/them pronouns andyou didn’t specify human/demon so i’m going to assume a human s/o. Ihope you still enjoy it!!

This sort of got me outof my writing funk and is just, I love writing overly dramatic anddetailed stuff, setting the scene and mood and emotions with as fewwords as possible to get the message across. Give me the unnecessaryword fluff, please.

___________________________________________________

Todayshould have just been like any other day. It should have been good,it should have been average and normal. But it wasn’t, and it twistedyour insides into knots thinking about what you needed to do today.Needles bit the back of your throat every time you swallowed, like itwas swollen from anxiety and stress.

Youhad gotten the test results back from the doctor last week, and itwas like time had simultaneously stopped and quickened. Every dayfelt weighted, but your head was off in another space completely; youwere grounded in a reality that you wish didn’t exist, that existedfor someone else as terrible as that was. But was it really soselfish to want to…live?

Everyoneelse close to you knew at this point, you had broken down at homeafter the doctor visit and didn’t want to be alone, just neededsomeone else to be there and empathize with the pain. Hiei was stillin the Makai at the time, but he was coming back today, and today youhad to tell him. Your eyes were puffy from crying still, you hadn’tgone a day without breaking down so he would immediately know therewas something wrong. You couldn’t hide it, and you knew it, and theneedles still prickled your throat.

Itwas late when Hiei got back to your apartment, but you were upwaiting since he was never late after a long time away. Despite hisfickle nature with visiting others, his visits to you were alwayspunctual.

Heopened up the window from the outside and let himself in, since henever got used to walking in the front door like a normal person. Assoon as his head was inside he stilled, the air was thick anddisturbed and salty and he could taste it all…abnormal, somethingamiss. He spotted you sitting on the couch, looking at him with eyesthat were unfocused and red and puffy, the hand in your lap tremblingeven though it was summer. A smile ghosted your features, but it wasfilled with something tragic.

“Hiei,I’m glad your back. I’m -”

“What’sthe matter with you? Why are you in such a state?”

Itcame out harsh, but you knew he didn’t have any real bite to him, notafter the years spent together. He was just concerned, hisobservation skills lacking in nothing, and had his own severe way ofasking those straightforward questions. No getting out of thisconversation.

“Um…Iknow I look like shit, sorry. I’ve…Hiei something bad has happenedand I have to tell you even though it hurts to even think about but Ihave to.” Tears were prickling at your eyes again despite tryingyour best to hold them back, you’d have to buy yet another box oftissues later. You avoided his gaze which bore into you, spurring youto the truth. You could see him swallow and bite the inside of hischeek as he walked closer to you, not bothering to close the windowbehind him.

“Didsomeone harm you? Point me in a direction and you know they’ll bedead before morning.” He stood over you, but he wasn’tintimidating, not anymore. He would come to your rescue no matter howloud his internal protests to helping others he cared about.

“No,no…I’m not hurt…well, I kind of am I guess. Hiei…I went to thedoctor last week and they told me that, that I’m sick. As in, I’mvery ill…” Your voice trailed off into a whisper, the words likefire on your tongue ready to scald you if you said them aloud, makingthem real.

Hiei’sexpression changed from one of anger to something else, something hewas trying to prematurely process and it came out looking like aconfused deer. He bent down and cupped your chin in his bandagedhand, forcing you to look him in the eyes. You felt disgusting withdry tears on your face, but you’d seen him in much worse state in thepast, so this should have been nothing. His fingers were callousedand rough, but the touch was gentle.

“You’reill? I’m going to assume there’s more to ‘I’m sick’ if this is yourcurrent mental state. Just tell me what it is.”

“I’mgoing to DIE soon, Hiei!” The words were out before you evenrealized what you said, cupping a hand over your mouth even thoughyou couldn’t take them back. Hiei didn’t move, but he did swallow.You could feel his own needles.

“No,you’re not. Don’t be foolish, whatever doctor you went to must havebeen in malpractice. If you’re absolutely sure you’re sick I’ll takeyou to a doctor in Makai who would actually know what they’re doing.”Straight into denial, but you couldn’t tell whether or not he wasbelieving his own words.

“Thisis the second doctor I’ve been to. She confirmed what the first onesaid…Hiei I only have about a year to live according to their data,I - “

Hieistood up abruptly and turned so his back was towards you. He ran ahand through his hair, but you could see the other in a tightlyclenched fist. There would be blood on your floor if he didn’t stopsoon.

“Howdo you feel in this moment, right now? Physically.” His questionwas barely audible, but you cleared your throat for your answer.

“Ifeel…OK. I’d noticed things off for a while, symptoms graduallybecoming more bothersome…I’m not bedridden or anything like that.I’m honestly just tired, at this point I feel as though I could sleepfor days. But those would be days….wasted.”

Hieicraned his head towards you, turning just enough to look at you. Hewas very good at telling when people were lying or exaggerating, andyou were doing neither. The needles were inside him now, eating awayat his apathetic resolve. He finally let someone in, and of course itwas his fucking luck that life would take them away. But he wassupposed to die, wasn’t he? How many times had he escaped death atthis point? He wasn’t going to let you waste away into nothingwithout doing everything, every opportunity, to give you the strengthto do the same. He could not crumble when he could see you breaking.

“Nodays where you are here would ever be wasted, don’t let me hear sucha defeatist attitude. You are not weak, and something like this willnot break you. You are here now, and even if that time is…” thewords lingered on his tongue, “limited, it is still worth living.”

Ifanyone could whip you into some type of fighting spirit, it was Hiei– maybe Yusuke as well if he wasn’t being an ass. For the firsttime in days, a smile ghosted over your features. You had all butgiven up, but Hiei would not, and he would be the last to back downat an invisible enemy. You stood up, your legs a little wobbly fromsitting in the same position for several hours, walking over to himand giving him a proper 'welcome home’ hug, the tighest one you couldmuster.

Hewas stiff in your arms, it was like a mechanism that never truly shutdown to give way to vulnerability. After a few moments though he letout a breath hot against your neck and leaned his head against yours.

“Thanksfor the kick in the ass, I’ve been needing it.”

“I’llkick your ass even if you don’t want me to.”

“Shutup, hothead. But I’m counting on it.”

_________________________________________________

Dang I really enjoyed writing that. Hiei isn’t a fluffy person or easy person to love, and his affection is tough to swallow.

~ Admin Ryoko

#hiei #yu yu hakusho #yyh #yyhwritingrequests #admin ryoko #yyh angst #yyh fic #yyh prompt

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lilkathlean · 6 years

Text

Biography: Spoken Word

My name is Kathleen

My name is Kathleen but that’s not my real name that’s just what was written on my birth certificate

My name is Kathleen but I do not know that name, I do not associate that name as I do with anything else

My name is Kathleen and it is a beautiful name that came from a probably beautiful woman but although it’s my beautiful name it is not my name

My name is Kathleen but my name is actually Katie

I’m sixteen

I’m sixteen and I’ve been sixteen for just under a month and do not have my permit

I’m sixteen and don’t have my permit because I need a physical paid for by the insurance I don’t have

I don’t have insurance because I don’t live with either of my parents so when I go to get glasses or for a doctors appointment at the Walmart clinic 30 miles away it is paid for out of pocket by grandma or on my aunts TASC card

The lack of insurance means I’ve got billions of ideas about what’s wrong with my brain but no licensed professional to get a diagnosis from

I’ve been self diagnosed (and online diagnosed of course) with depression and anxiety and sometimes I purposely miss out on things due to what may or may not be those illnesses

I’ve been unprofessionally diagnosed with Aspergers

Aspergers is a variety of autism in which you cannot read social cues or know the right thing to say at the right time

I have a very large problem with texture and my grandma says that only kids with autism have texture problems

As you can assume I have ruined plenty of conversations on many different occasions

I don’t have a boyfriend

I don’t have a boyfriend because the last one I did have was crazy, lazy, and gross

His mental instability has made me wary of another boyfriend because boys in my town are only racist and hot or fake not racist and ugly and smelly (the last one)

Or gay

My friend Kaleb falls under gay because I feel like when he was being made they made 1/2 of a gay man but then forgot what they were doing and made him like girls instead

I also don’t have a boyfriend because I find other people my age and in my are repulsive, boring, and racist

I get bored easily because it’s the same person always and I was not meant to be tied down

Once somebody shows you their true colors don’t try to paint a better picture with them because you will only destroy yourself in the long run

I am scarily similar to my aunt in most aspects of life

Physically and mentally

It’s because we’re only 18 years apart and she has basically raised me (as well as my grandma and my parents put in some effort as well just not as much)

We talk and act the same

As my grandma says “one of you will lie and the other one would swear to it” which is completely true

We dress similar buying out clothes at Maurice’s, JC Penney’s, Hot Topic sometimes

We both love shopping, cities, and music from the 60’s, especially The Beatles

We both love buying makeup and beauty products especially mascara and eyelash curlers

She has dated stalkers, alcoholics, and the like

Because she’s drawn to broken people to try and fix them and make them something way better than what they are

She says it’s called codependency

Although I’ve only had one serious boyfriend I fear I will follow in the same path

I knew there was a lot wrong with him in the beginning because what normal 16 year old has no life goals, tries to start a gang with his three almost but not quite friends, and threatens to start doing coke when you can’t come watch Moonrise Kingdom with him

He enjoyed getting carelessly high and sloppily drunk and after we were done he posted about me all over social media because the end was just oh so sudden and unexpected

Him and his friends told people I dumped him to sleep with the new kid, which I would never do because he is an ass

Yes they also told the new kid

I don’t have what can be considered talents.

I don’t have talents because I don’t stick with hobbies long enough for them to stick with me

I don’t stick with them long enough because if I’m not instantly good at something I quit

I quit because I’m afraid of failure

I am over emotional on almost all levels especially when I shouldn’t be

I have cried at every live event I’ve been too

Warped Tour because it was my little emo dream to go

Disney musicals because I felt genuinely sorry for the beast and because I also got my picture taken with the cast of the little mermaid

Willy Wonka live because of the song Cheer up Charlie and those Oompa Loompas were just too dang cute

Plaid Tidings because they were all dead and they asked me what year it was

Etcetera

I cry really hard before closing night in the green room as well

However to counteract that I have spent multiple nights awake for long periods of time just laying

Staring at the top bunk letting numbness and silence seep into me

Not crying, not speaking, not even really thinking

Just counting my breaths and how many times I’ve caught myself chewing on my inner lip

Asking myself questions like how long have I been clenching my teeth and why does my jaw feel so tight

Much like tonight

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elenawickman-blog · 7 years

Note

1, 6, 9, 22, 34, 36 for the writing ask! (lmartinez) 😊

Thank you for the ask!!

1. Tell us about your WIP!

Lolly Gray is a thief. She sneaks through the streets of Deinh’em and fills her pockets with money and her shoes with knives. She feeds her younger sister, Giselle, with crumbs of what she can scavenge, and feeds herself with what’s left behind. Navigating a war-torn country, with soldiers on the loose and rifles freely fired, makes survival a challenge. Even more so when Lolly’s very existence breaks Code D1: don’t stand out. Her hair changes color with her emotions.

War kicked Lolly out of Amnalpasia and into poverty. Desperation drove her to thievery. Fear bound her to her safe window well. But when Giselle is taken by the soldiers and a childhood friend dressed in military green hunts her down, she’s forced to make a truly fatal choice.

I’m not the best at summarizing, and this is in no way the official grabber. But, if you’d like to learn more about my WIP, The Color of War, and about my writing in general, feel free to visit my YouTube channel, Elena Wickman!

6. Favorite character you’ve written?

Oh, this is a tough one. I adore all of my characters. They’re my brain children, and it’s like literally having to pick a favorite of actual children. But … I’d have to say, at least out of my current WIP, my favorite character is Fabian. He’s a very close friend of my MC in the novel, and I just love him. He’s brave, devoted to a cause, optimistic, passionate, and stubborn. He’s a dreamer, and it’s his conviction that really helps Lolly have courage in tough parts of the book. He’s someone I’d love for a friend in real life. It’d always be an adventure to hang with Fabian.

9. Favorite/least favorite tropes?

Favorite: –Broken family units (What can I say? It makes for an interesting story for sure, if done right. Like @shaelinwrites story about the twins that I’m totally forgetting the title of. Gahh dang. But that was fire.)–Haters to lovers (but wait wait wait not the mortal enemy to head-over-heels kind. Like … no. But the type of relationship where two characters really don’t like each other at first, but they get to know each other, and eventually find out they have a lot in common and become this unbreakable team of amazingness. Yes please.)–Side character becomes the hero (shoutout to my boy Neville Longbottom in the last HP book. I love when a side character who seems kind of useless and doesn’t do much actually ends up being really significant to the hero’s overall success. That is probably my favorite.)

Least:–Love triangles. Enough said. –Strong, emotionless female protagonist. I mean, why can’t a girl be physically/emotionally strong and also experience real human emotions? Please?–Brooding male love interest. Seriously, so many of these guys end up being really toxic, obsessive, even abusive. I could rant on this for hours, and I have before. I hate this so much. The “mysterious” bad boy? Come on. There’s more than one type of attractive male human out there. –”The Chosen One” (*rage screams internally*)

22. Tell us about the books on your “To Write” list.

I’m not going to go super in-depth on these, because there’s a lot, and I want to develop them more before talking about one. But I’ll talk about one.

I have no idea what I’m going to call it, but it’s going to either be a NA or Adult contemporary novel featuring four viewpoint characters. –Sage, who’s in his 20s and has an older brother who was always the jock, who was cooler, more impressive, was into all the sports, got the best grades, etc. etc. model child. When driving his older brother to an event one night, they got in a car accident. His older brother died, and Sage developed a traumatic brain injury. Sage struggles with feeling as though he should have been the one to go instead. –Winston, who goes by Winn, is also in his 20s. Tbh they’re all in their 20s. Anyhow, Winn uses a wheelchair part-time because of fatigue and neurological issues caused by his chronic illnesses. He trains working dogs for a living, but has been cut off by his family for three years. –Sawyer has major depression and an EDNOS. She puts off this confident front, but is really cracking apart inside. She’s in a very toxic relationship with her fiancé, who only makes her mental illnesses worse. –Finally, there’s Emma. Emma was adopted as a young child from a teen mom who wasn’t ready to raise her. She always felt a little out-of-place growing up with her adopted single mom. They never had a lot of money, she never had any siblings, and she constantly struggles with wondering why she was given up. She reaches out to her birth mom, and discovers she’s married, and has had three children–one with Emma’s birth dad, who she kept.

The book is about these four 20-something college students with four very different backgrounds and struggles finding each other and, through them, finding themselves. I’m so excited to write this.

34. Unpopular writing thoughts/opinions?

A lot of people encourage you to “Break the rules! Follow your own writing rules!” But like … the writing “rules” are there for a reason. They’re going to make your writing better. So … follow them.

I don’t like Sarah J. Maas.

I also don’t like NaNoWriMo. Yeah, getting words on a page are better than a blank page, but if you’re spewing out bad writing just to up a word count, you’re going to have a really hard time fixing that writing. Don’t write for quantity, write for quality.

36. Post a snippet.

I charge the alleyway, hand clamped on the knife snuggled in my bag. A dumpster shudders to the left. Shadows spill on my path, twisting into garish scowls and pointed spears. I stamp on them as I go. The back door of a shop creaks open, and light spills on the alley floor. I duck behind a pile of garbage bags as a woman with pallid skin and bones sticking out of her uniform steps into the alley and lights a cigarette. She mops her forehead with her apron and breathes ash clouds masked like kitchen smoke. I stuff a cough in the neck of my shirt. She stands in the doorway, puffs a frame around her loose honey-brown braids. I brace my crouch on the dumpster and rub the strain from my ankles. Then she snuffs out the cigarette on her apron and steps back inside. The door clicks behind her.

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seventeen-central · 7 years

Text

Catch Me If I Fall pt. 2 - Dino Angst/Fall (Gang!AU)

Word Count: 1889

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Warnings: Violence, Death

Member/Group: Chan (Dino) of SEVENTEEN

Summary: It’s been almost a year since the last time SEVENTEEN and BTS crossed paths. This time, will everybody be able to walk away from the fight?

Dino snuggled into your warm body as another day began at the headquarters. The past year had been complete hell for you; days went by where you could barely look people in the eyes after the trauma you had experienced when you were captured by one of the most feared gangs in the country. It was not easy to relieve your mental state to the way it was before, but life had definitely gotten better for your group after everything had settled down.

A few months after life had returned to normal, SEVENTEEN just happened to climb up the ladder of wealth. The HQ was now lavishly decorated and many rooms had been added. All of this was unknown to the police and general public, but all the boys had come to love the opulent life they now lived. There was no longer any worries about not being able to pay the bills, and Dino had even managed to snag enough cash to buy a special ring and propose to you. Both of you had decided it was best to put the wedding off for now, as the most important thing on your mind was revenge; more specifically, revenge targeted at BTS for their ill treatment of you.

“Mmm... Jagiya, do you want me to make us some pancakes?”

“What about the others? Won’t they be hungry?”

“They aren’t sleeping with me, so they can get off their butts to make their own dang pancakes.” Another thing you loved about your fiancé, he never cussed if not provoked. Even when he was getting a bullet removed from his shoulder, the biggest reaction that had arisen was him saying ‘mother trucker’. He was definitely pure at heart, but that was just another reason to love him.

He peeled the sheets back and the cold air nipped at your skin causing goosebumps to form along your exposed arms. You could hear the light padding of his feet as he made his way to the kitchen in your little ‘one-room apartment’. In actuality, it was probably larger than most apartments and it had a better security system than the white house. The entrance to the room opened, and you suddenly felt a crushing weight on your upper body.

“Seungkwan, get the fuck off me before I throw you onto the stove.” A loud groan escaped your mouth as the sassy boy was pushed onto the carpeted floor.

“Hey, I just came to remind you guys that the final planning is happening today. If all goes well, we could be breaking into their base by tonight!” Seungkwan’s bright tone caused you to shoot him a dirty look. He raised his hands in defense as he slowly backed out the door to the hallway. The smell of bacon wafting in your direction caused you to finally rise from the bed and sluggishly step into the kitchen.

You walked to your loving boyfriend that was slaving over the production of pancakes, and wrapped your arms around his waist. His back muscles tensed under your touch, and he simply looked down at you before continuing to make breakfast.

“Jagi, go sit down and I’ll bring you your food. Do you want strawberries on your pancakes?”

“Yes please, babe. I’ll set the table.” You skipped to the pantry and grabbed the honey and syrup to bring over to the table. It took very little time to ensure that the space was completely ready to be used for the meal, so when you finished you went back to lay on the bed for a few minutes.

Dino called you over, and you both finally were able to sit down to breakfast. Within mere minutes, you both had wolfed down your share of the food and praised Dino’s cooking talent. When you were finally done, you both decided to do the dishes together. ‘Dish washing’ turned into ‘how many times can I spray water at you’ very quickly. It ended with both of you soaking wet, but at least the dishes were done.

“Babe, I’m going to go get dressed.” Dino nodded your way, and you both began to get ready for the day.

“Okay, so do we all know how this is going to work now?” The boys and you hummed in agreement with Woozi’s idea. He was the mastermind behind the whole plan, and he was staying behind to hack into the security cameras and help you guys using ear-pieces. The remaining thirteen of you walked out to the freshly painted van, and S. Coups leaped into the drivers seat. Everybody buckled their seatbelts and checked one last time that they had extra ammo for their weapons. Dino was patting your back sympathetically as you looked at your lap, completely unable to bring yourself enough courage to look at BTS’s hideout again.

“Okay, lets move out guys. Keep your weapons on standby, and make sure that they don’t know we have guns.” Wonwoo instructed everybody as they climbed out of the van one by one.

You kept a tight hold on Dino’s arm as the group walked to the side of the building. About half a foot off the ground, there was the opening of an air conditioning vent that was only held on by screws.

“Woozi, is this the one?” Vernon tapped the earpiece and waited for a response from the dark haired computer genius.

“That is the one. Be careful not to crawl in too close together, the shaft may be made of thinner metal than we thought and you do not want to end up somewhere other than Jin’s office.” Everybody nodded to each other as Vernon used a screwdriver to pull off the covering of the vent.

The boys entered the shaft one by one, until it was just you left behind.

“(Nickname), stay close to me. It shouldn’t be long before they realize we’re here.” The vent was a tight squeeze, but you had just enough room to lay on your stomach and wriggle forward like the boys in front of you.

“We are coming to the exit, guys! Get ready to drop!” The sound of screws being undone echoed through the small metal space, and you heard the boys crawl out one by one. When you finally pulled yourself into an open hallway, you couldn’t help but notice how empty the hallway was.

“Dino, I think they are waiting for us. They know we’re here...” Dino got the attention of Wonwoo and he nodded in agreement.

The winding hallways intersected like a maze. Each time you turned right or left, you felt as it you were slipping further into a black hole with no chance of escape. When your feet finally stopped in front of a large oak doors with no windows in sight, you knew you had arrived.

As if done by a ghost, the large doors swung open to reveal a dark office with all the members of BTS waiting in chairs.

“How nice of you to join us! Ah, you brought the girl too. Maybe this time I’ll let Kookie get some alone time with her; I bet she’d enjoy it.” You wanted nothing more than to slap the smirks off the seven boys faces, but you held that back and kept your blank facade up.

All of SEVENTEEN stepped further into the room, only to have the doors swing shut behind them. The cold, metal barrel of a gun was instantly placed to the back of each person’s head, and Rap Monster stood up.

“It’s so nice that we have you here, I feel like I’m getting rid of a hornets nest or something! You are missing shrimpy though... what a shame.” Dino’s hand squeezed yours and your fingers slipped onto the gun you had hidden in your coat.

As if by magic, all thirteen of you drew your guns out and managed to get rid of the guards that were ready to pull the trigger.

“So you want to play hard to get? I’m sorry, I really hate games.” The seven boys in front of you each drew handguns out of their pockets as their leader snickered. “Don’t worry, I’ll make your deaths quick. They won’t be painless, but they will be quick.”

“That’s what you think, huh?” As soon as the words left S. Coups’ mouth, fire broke out between the two gangs. Bullets whizzed past your body, but none of them actually hit you. After a few round of fire, all of BTS was on the ground with their eyes closed in eternal slumber.

“Let’s get out of here, the job’s done.” The door was pried open and everybody began to walk out. If only somebody had checked to see if they were all really dead, maybe then they would have noticed Jimin lifting his head with all his effort and sending a bullet spiraling towards your boyfriends back.

Dino made a sound that resembled a choke, and every person turned around in time to see crimson pooling across his chest and the surprise in his eyes. You ran forward and let him lean of you while The8 and Seungkwan ran back into the room to finish the job. The tears you were blinking back robbed you of your sight, so you had to let Mingyu lead you to the van.

“Woozi, Dino’s down with a bullet wound to the left side of his chest. Get the medical equipment ready, we’re driving back.” Jeonghan hurriedly spoke over his earpiece as he pulled back Dino’s shirt to examine the wound. The good thing was that the bleeding was slowing down thanks to the pressure you had been applying to your boyfriend’s chest, but the bad news was there was no sign of an exit wound. This meant more work for Jeonghan, as he was the only person with any experience in the medical field.

“Pliers, please.” The beep of the heart monitor seemed to taunt you as you watched Jeonghan attempt to pull the bullet from his best friend’s chest.

Thank god that by the time you had returned to HQ, Woozi had been able to basically set up a whole room that was prepped for surgery. He had also managed to find anesthesia, which definitely helped your piece of mind as you watched Dino being operated on.

“Okay, I think I’ve got the bullet. Bring the bowl over.” The clink of metal hitting plastic caused a calm fog to settle over the whole room. You watched as Jeonghan stitched the wound closed, then left you to speak with your boyfriend.

“Lee Chan, I swear to God if you ever scare me that bad again I might just die!” Your boyfriend hazily looked up at you.

“Shhh! Don’t use my real name, they might track me down or something!” Dino giggled as he settled further into the sheets. Clearly, the anesthesia was still in effect.

“You’re lucky I love you so much... but thank you for risking your life for me.” You whispered into his ear as you tucked him into the warm sheets and left him to recover from the day he just had.

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