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liugeaux · 6 months

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A Definitive Ranking Of Every Incarnation Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Seven years ago I was so butt-hurt by an Uproxx article that I wrote a response with my own TMNT incarnation ranking. Was I right to do it? Absolutely. Do I regret it? Not at all. I stand by that ranking and where the TMNT property was in 2017. Read it here.

What HAS happened though is multiple versions (incarnations) of our beloved turtles have been rolled out in the past 7 years and I think it's time to re-rank them. This will be similar to the reposts common in this blog, as it will have a lot of old content, but it will be a full-on refresher with a brand-new definitive ranking. Here we go!

17. Saban’s Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation

The Next Mutation is the worst. While technically a hit TV show, TNM is a reimagining of the Turtles in a similar style to the hyper-popular Power Rangers of the time; and created by that same production house. It was too goofy, too Japanese, and pandered to a completely different audience. Any charm or goodwill the original show still had was flushed right down the drain after the launch of The Next Mutation; not to mention the introduction of the cringe-worthy Venus, the fifth Turtle. The Next Mutation is best forgotten, but sadly never will be.

16. Japanese OVA - Mutant Turtles: Superman Legend

Not included in the original list because I didn't think it was a substantial enough incarnation to include, Superman Legend is a gem if you like weird 90s anime. If you don't, skip it. When I say skip it, I mean it. It doesn't feel like a Ninja Turtles story and while styled after the Fred Wolf TV show, it drips of cheesy anime tropes and is, at times, hard to watch. I include it here as almost a warning against possibly watching it.

15. Konami’s Video Games

At the time, Konami’s video games seemed awesome. The arcade games and the classic NES games gave children exactly what they wanted, a way to control their favorite turtles and fight the foot. In actuality, the original arcade games were built as quarter-eating button mashers. There was little nuance to the games themselves and the home console releases were either bad (that first NES) or were trying to recreate a game on a platform for which it wasn't designed (TMNT II, Manhattan Project, Turtles in Time, etc.). If you wipe off the thick film of nostalgia, it's easy to see these games really aren’t that good.

14. Platinum Dunes’ Movie (Series)

The two Platinum Dunes movies have a style to them, and it's best we leave that style in the 2010s. Everything from the Incredible Hulk looking over-design of the characters, to the disasters of plots, there is very little to like about what Michael Bay’s production company did to our beloved Turtles. The films have some decent action and comedy, but a lot of the creative directions taken leave the heart of the Turtles unrecognizable. Out of the Shadows was better than the first film and did a good job capturing the feel of the original cartoon, but it still committed a lot of the same sins, despite being the "right kind of dumb".

13. Fred Wolf’s Original 1987 Animated Show

It’s funny how the most popular of all the incarnations is also one of the worst. The original cartoon is a victim of its era. The animation is bad, the plots are silly and sometimes nonsensical, and many episodes are just thinly veiled advertisements for the mega-successful accompanying toy line. Still, there’s a charm to that old show that made it popular for a reason. Presented as the figurehead of late 80s cartoons that it is, it might be a masterpiece. Presented in a vacuum, apart from the craze, that old show can be unwatchable. This incarnation is another victim of nostalgia and is probably best experienced through t-shirts and merchandise, not through actual experience.

12. Image’s Vol. 3 Comics

Die-hard Turtles fans love to point at Image’s short-lived run of comics after Mirage’s first hiatus as being “Amazing”. “Volume 3″ to which it is referred, was planned as a continuation of Mirage’s colorized Vol. 2. Sadly, it followed many of the tropes of late 90s comic books. It was more violent than its predecessors and even went as far as having two of the TMNT get deformed. Donny becomes a cyborg and Raph’s face gets disfigured. At the time it was a fresh take on the characters and seen as bold and unpredictable. Because of this, it should hold a legit chunk of respect, but in practicality, it wasn’t great.

11. Batman Vs. TMNT Crossover Comics and Movie

This is, by far, the hardest incarnation to rank. It's not bad, and in most ways it's great. However, taking a generic version of the TMNT and planting them in a story beside The Dark Knight creates an un-winnable situation. Character development must be spread across two universes and cannot be too in-depth, because you can't stray too far from the core essence of either property. Fans love this version of the Turtles and I don't blame them. It boils the 4 brothers down to their core traits and, through solid writing, creates an entertaining romp that plays into both properties' tropes. Where the Batman/TMNT crossover succeeds in entertainment value, it completely fails in compelling story-telling.

10. Archie’s TMNT: Adventures Comics

More comics from the 90s! Archie’s TMNT Adventures was less an Archie production and more a shadow Mirage title that was created mostly in-house under the eyes of Eastman and Laird. Its origin as a spin-off of the TV show made for a unique niche. Many of the stories and characters resonate to this day and If I were listing my favorite TMNT comic artists, Chris Allen would be in my top three. One of the title’s strengths was the secondary characters. Verminator-X, Armaggon, Ninjara, the Mighty Mutanimals, and Cuddly the Cowlick, are all great additions to the greater mythology of the series and many of them have returned in other media. As much fun as these were to read 30 years ago, a distinct lack of character development in the TMNT, and a heavy handed environmental agenda being pushed make these hard to read today. Those Future Turtles are the bomb though…

9. TMNT: Mutant Mayhem

I have thought long and hard about where Seth Rogan's take on the TMNT belongs in the pantheon of turtle stories. From an entertainment standpoint, it's fantastic. The film is incredibly funny and breathes fresh energy into tried and true character archetypes. Does it represent the legacy of TMNT as a franchise? I don't know. We've been promised a lot more of this incarnation, so our questions will likely get answered as series staples like Shredder and The Foot get introduced, but as it stands, Mutant Meyham is a fantastic anomaly ripe for exploration.

8. New Line’s Original Movie Trilogy

America’s love for the original movie trilogy is justified. They captured a moment in American Pop Culture that was unique and somewhat bizarre. On the surface, a lot of the dialog can be cheesy and eye-roll-inducing, but that’s what the 90′s were. Looking back at them, the only one that holds up as a GREAT movie is the first one. The effort put into bringing the comics to life, while dabbling in the silliness of the cartoon, is visible. There’s more emotion in that first movie than most would care to admit. I’m not going to call it a masterpiece or anything, Actually, I am gonna call TMNT 1990 a masterpiece. The second two movies are what keep this incarnation from being higher on the list. The Secret of the Ooze is embarrassing and TMNT III is boring at best. The care that went into the first film just wasn’t there the second and third times around.

7. “TMNT” Animated Movie

The Turtle’s franchise timeline can be divided into 3 phases; Phase 1: Eastman and Laird, Phase 2: Laird only, and Phase 3: Nickelodeon. The “TMNT” animated movie was released during Phase 2, and because of that, it has Peter Laird’s influence all over it. During his solo time with the Turtles, Laird had very specific ideas about what he wanted to do with the characters and what stories he wanted to be told. Not goofy, not over-the-top, not too dark, and maintaining the series’ comedic overtones, TMNT is a weird movie that feels like a release that fell out of another dimension. Despite its plot being the most non-TMNT-ish story ever told, there is still a handful of scenes that are quite wonderful. The epic fight scene between Leo and Raph at the close of Act 2 is worth the price of admission. TMNT is a beautiful film that has a charm unique unto itself and it’s really a shame a sequel was never made.

6. Rise of the TMNT

I'm sure putting Rise in the #6 spot can be seen as a bold move, but I stand behind it completely. Rise is possibly the most controversial version of the Turtles to date. Odd, and unnecessary changes to the lore and characters turned a lot of fans off of the project before it even launched. Taking a more comedic and short-attention-spaned approach to TMNT storytelling alienated many viewers, which means Rise lives on its own little island. Fans of Rise, LOVE IT, with good reason. It's hilarious, irreverent, sharp and stunning. By taking enough influence from anime to make the show look great, but not enough to make the show look ridiculous, Rise succeeds at looking better than ALL of its predecessors. Narratively, it takes some time to get to the significant story beats, but considering most TMNT stories aren't interested in telling a long-form story, Rise's approach to slow-drip-plot, is masterful. The Rise movie is a fantastic exclamation point on a series the creators knew was already dead. I almost understand why someone wouldn't like Rise of the TMNT, but it's hard for me to think someone gave it a fair shake and still didn't see the brilliance of its bizarre take on the TMNT.

5. Nickelodeon’s 2012 Animated Show

After the Viacom acquisition, the impending TMNT cartoon show was an uncomfortable unknown. How closely would it stick to the lore? Would it go off the rails and break the series? Would it be too kiddy for a classic fan to enjoy? All worries were washed away when the show debuted in the Fall of 2012. Featuring the most fully realized version of the 4 turtles to date, Nick’s show was a breath of fresh air. There’s a spark to its dialog and it’s obvious the creators were proud to be working on TMNT. It's hard not to chuckle at least once or twice during every episode and unlike most kid shows, it's easy to care about the over-arching story. The changes made to the base origin and characters can be confusing, but each one has been interesting in its own way. As my good buddy Jeff often says about, it's a beautiful melting pot of everything TMNT. If you haven’t checked it out yet, Nick’s TMNT reboot is more than worth a watch.

4. IDW’s TMNT Comics

The first real content to come from the post-Nickelodeon buyout was the IDW-licensed comic line. Not only did they immediately start frantically reprinting the old Mirage books, but they also launched a new ongoing title set in its own TMNT continuity. Without a doubt, this run has been the most exciting thing to happen to TMNT comics since…let’s say Mirage’s Vol.1. By taking a brand new origin and mixing old characters with new characters, Eastman and Waltz have found a way to re-tell a lot of TMNT history without telling any of the exact same stories we already know. My only real complaint about the book is that its a little too obvious that Nickelodeon has placed certain story restrictions on them. I.E. The Turtles don’t ever kill anyone, and death as a whole is kept to a minimum. Consequently, the book sometimes lacks the teeth of the original Mirage book.

3. The Last Ronin

After 9 years of a fantastic ongoing TMNT comic, IDW decided to stretch its legs and pull an idea out of the Eastman and Laird idea archive. The Last Ronin, is a stand-alone TMNT tale originally outlined by both co-creators Eastman and Laird. It's dark, violent, somber and bold. TLR is easily the best TMNT comic to hit the market since 1992's City at War, and it deserves the same reverence. Truth be told, outside of the original conception of the series, Peter Laird had little to do with its story. The volume was such a success, a teaser was written into the last book that introduced a new generation of Turtles into the fold. This birthed the Ronin-verse. As silly as that may sound, the transition to a new quartet of Turtles has been healthy and fun. The Last Ronin 2 starts later this year and I have no worries that the new TMNT will be built with respect to the originals. That's a feat in and of itself.

2. 4Kids’ 2003 Animated Show

The 4Kids Animated show was produced during the Peter Laird years and with a few exceptions it’s a love letter to fans of the Mirage comics. Unlike the original show, which took the loose concept of Ninja Turtles and built its own little silly world, the 4Kids show took many of its stories directly from the comics and carried a tone closer to that comic's run. Sure some things had to be changed because it was still a kid’s show, but the entire run feels like it's what Laird wanted to do the first time around, but not having complete control got in the way. The best part is that it has aged remarkably well. Despite all episodes being 4:3 SD, the characters and stories still pop to this day. Which, in the end, is just a reflection of how good the source material is.

1. Mirage’s Original Comic Series

Of course, #1 had to go to the Mirage run. Sure, a lot of things can be said about how disjointed the entire experience is, and how bad some of the guest contributors were during the height of the TMNT fad in the early 90′s, but at its core, the Mirage run represented so many different things. It was the start of what would become one of the most successful creator-owned franchises in American history. Mirage was built from nothing (hence the name), and ended up taking over the world on the strength of the characters they created. Vol. 1 of the comics was an instrumental piece of content in the indy comic boom of the 80s and was a flagship, “creators have rights” book. The canonical stories from Vols 1, 2 and 4 are the turtles at their most honest and raw. Eastman and more-so Laird weren’t afraid of taking chances and even the stories that didn’t pan-out HAD to be respected. So, what incarnation is the absolute best? It's the Mirage comics, without a doubt, by a wide margin. Say all the good things you can imagine about the other incarnations on this list, but none of them are "Capital I" Important. Sure, they were great, charming and even dabbled in amazing, but Mirage rewrote the rulebook, and that’s something that will never be usurped.

Cheers!

Addendum: The following incarnations were omitted because they didn’t make a significant contribution to the greater TMNT story.

All TMNT Manga, The TMNT Comic Strip, The Action Figures (they aren’t being included because they are just an extension of the shows and movies, but they kinda had a life of their own), Coming Out of Our Shells Live Tour, Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles, The 4kids Based Dreamwave Comics, Later TMNT Video Games (Konami, Ubisoft, and Activision Published), The many other crossover comic book series out there.

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beyoncesdragon · 4 years

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Sokovian Bastard (Pietro Maximoff)

Requested: No Warnings: Swearing, Pietro being a cocky bitchTM

Summary: Being an avenger has never been easy, and after a certain Sokovian joins the team, it really just does not help your concentration. At all. Especially because the two of you just wouldn't get along.

My Masterlist

Part 2

I thought of myself as a rather nice person. Not overly nice maybe and very much depending on my mood and my surroundings, but, and I stand by that, not unnecessarily rude. I could even keep my cool with Senator Stern last year (many may remember him from that very much public and very much embarrassing Senate Armed Services Committee in Washington, D.C. where Tony Stark had been summoned to attend to and in which Tony had skinned the annoying git alive). So yes, I would describe myself as a nice or maybe, collected person. At least until last winter’s mission in Sokovia, where we happened to run into a pair of genetical mutated twins, going by the name of Wanda and Pietro Maximoff. Originally recruited by one of the leaders of HYDRA, Mr. Wolfgang von Stucker, Pietro and Wanda had taken part in a series of tests involving Loki’s mysterious scepter (in sweet memory it may be now) they had somehow mutated into not quite humans anymore. Wanda received a number of mental abilities, Pietro acquired the ability to move at supersonic speeds and other physical features (of where his disturbingly pleasing looks weren’t part of, I had seen before and after footage, much to my displeasure). In Sokovia then, a country which was entangled in constant war and strife and also had been the former base of HYDRA cell operations, they had crossed their path with us for the very first time. Long story short; it wasn’t a very friendly meeting, though you could maybe blame it on the circumstances. Later on, they somehow affiliated with Ultron which was a problem or/and enemy we (or Tony and Bruce) had actually created ourselves…which wasn’t a fact that stopped them from joining Ultron’s side, making them to our opponents. Somewhere along the line they had then switched sides and so on, now both of them were Avengers and helped us with our…duties I guess you could call them. Of course that was very rushed and short and not very much in detail, but it sure does the job.

Now, where Wanda wasn’t the problem and after they cut strings with Ultron, I had started to like her a lot and quite fast, her twelve minutes older twin Pietro very much was. I don’t know how he did it and I had never met someone like this before, but he somehow managed to push all my buttons just right to drive me nuts in no time. I also don’t know when our mutual dislike started, but it must have happened in the very beginning, back in Sokovia. Maybe my hatred started when he had mocked me a bit too long and a bit too personal after pushing me off a balcony at the HYDRA basement back then. Or when he had nothing but bad words to say about my technique of combat or when he decided not to help me when I almost got overwhelmed by Ultron’s soldiers. I only know that my dislike, as well as my attraction (which made that whole mess a bit more complicated) must have been instantly. We just wouldn’t click, not even when he almost sacrificed his life for Clint, back on that godforsaken rock Ultron had planned on dropping down on our beloved planet. So the bickering went on and whilst everyone seemed to get along perfectly fine with the twins, Pietro and I kept lashing out at each other at every chance we’ve got. And that was very often, much to the annoyance of Wanda and the rest of the Avengers.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the cool glass in the conference room. Tony had called in a meeting and almost everyone had appeared on his call. Steve sat around the black table in the center of the room, Natasha and Clint next to him. Wanda had occupied the only more or less comfortable chair in the room and Banner was eyeing her grumpily. Tony leaned against the wall, waiting like everyone else until Maria Hill would appear. Thor wouldn’t come around until we’d throw a party (somehow those invitations never got lost on their way to Asgard…) and Rhodey would probably arrive with Maria. Vision sat hovering in some corner, attentively eyed by Wanda. The door opened and Maria and Rhodey entered the room but leaving the door open. “Can we then start?” I asked slightly impatient. I wanted to take a nap since I hadn’t slept well tonight. Which was also entirely the fault of Mr. Maximoff who had decided to run laps until three o’clock on the complex meadow, which happened to be pretty much in front of my window. The light of his abnormal speeding actions had light up my room until he stopped, making it impossible for me to fall asleep on time. Shutting the light out was close to impossible, since his gleaming energy-thingy he did, was not only bright but also seemed to shine through every crack. Adding to that was the fact that I was already angry, so I laid awake until about four AM.

“Atta princess, I knew that you are not quite fond of me, but trying to start a meeting without me…I am hurt.” My eyes snapped up at the sound of the familiar sokovian accent and I frowned. “Just sit down, your late already and preventing this to be over soon, speedster.” I snapped angrily and he closed the door before leaning on the wall in opposite of me. “What got your panties in a twist today, moody blue?” he mocked with a crooked eyebrow.

“Actually, darling, you did.”

His other eyebrow shot up. “I am all ears.” I growled angrily. “I hope you are. Because if you ever plan on running around until three o’clock on that bloody lawn, I will rip your face off. Do you know how fucking bright that light is when you run around in the night? Bright and not possible to shut out. Just like you, obnoxious and not possible to shut out.” He huffed softly, tilting his head. “Always so angry…” he mumbled and I could’ve strangled him now and here if it wasn’t for Tony who had decided to end our brawl by letting a holographic map appear in the middle of the room. “Enough kids, we know you love each other but now we must return to the reason we’re all here.” I sighed and nodded, focusing back on Tony. He pointed at a pulsing dot on the map, zooming in with a flick of his hand. “We located another HYDRA base. A small one, but one less is one less, no matter how big.” He immediately had the attention of the whole room, me being no exception.

The discussion went on back and forth. Shall we just blow that darn building up? Or shall we go in and check if there were any prisoners or on going experiments happening? The latter would mean that we would have to risk our lives for something that was very uncertain would be there, on the other hand…we couldn’t just kill innocent people just because we were too lazy or practical to risk our own health. We were the Avengers after all, almost dying was part of the contract. After debating another half an hour, we finally decided on storming the basement. For that we would first get inside, check if there was anything, then blow that thing up. Taking as many prisoners as possible and getting out alive would be the optimum…but with a look at Pietro I disagreed silently. Maybe he could miss out on that alive part for all I cared. He caught my eyes and rolled his, before looking back at Stark.

“We should always go in groups. I’d suggest the twins together, Clint and Natasha, Rhodey if you want to come with me…” Steve found my eye and gave me a nod. “Team, love?” I nodded with a grin. “It would be a pleasure.” Banner cleared his throat. “What about me? Can I stay in the Quinjet…?” Tony nodded slowly. “I thought because you complained about stress the last few missions it would be more safe…Vison if you could back up Bruce…?” Bruce nodded quickly. “Yeah, I’m fine with that. So I’ll blow that thing up on your word.” Tony nodded. “Exactly.” I frowned softly. “It would be a waste of cover and energy if he would land to drop us off…shall we parachute out?” Pietro laughed softly. “I don’t know if you realized it already princess, but we’ve got what…one, two, four people of eight can fly themselves. How about those who can fly take someone with them?” I glared angrily at him. “What you actually intended to say was, that you are scared of parachutes, right?” I sassed back, looking back at Tony again. He, like a few others had that partly amused and partly annoyed look on their faces that always appeared when the two of us skirmished again. Rhodey chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Unbelievable. But I have to agree with Pietro…it would be easier and quicker.” I nodded softly. “Alright, if you say so. So who with who?” I asked, avoiding Pietro’s eyes.

“I am not carrying that 90-pound asthmatic anywhere.” Tony exclaimed dramatically and Steve rolled his eyes. “I could take him.” Vison offered quietly and everyone was quick to agree. “I’ll go with Wanda.” Pietro then said but now it was my turn to sneer. “Maybe that is not the best idea, speedster. No offense but since your sister is smaller than you are, maybe you are too much for her to carry safely to the ground. No offense Wanda.” She just smiled softly. “None taken. I think you’re right…probably you should come with me.” I nodded softly, giving her a small smile. Pietro huffed in disbelief. “Wow sister…that hurt. Besides I strongly doubt that she’s any easier to carry than I am.” He mumbled dismissively under his breath. “What are you implying with that speedster?” I snapped sharply, pushing myself off the wall. “Oh nothing. And can you stop calling me speedster, please.” I snorted. “If you stop with that princess-crap.” He just shrugged. “Not gonna happen anytime soon, sorry princess. I just love how fired up you get over it.” I rolled my eyes and tried my best to ignore him. “Alright…now Pietro you can come with me, Clint and Tony…?” Rhodey offered and everyone agreed. We then went through the whole plan again, as a quick repetition.

“Just one last quick question: I kinda missed when the mission is taking place.” I piped in at the end, regretting my question the second the words left my lips. I should’ve just asked Banner later or something. “In two days, princess. Have you not paid attention? The Quinjet is currently being fixed and updated. Looks like your wandering mind is another thing you should try and get under control.” I snapped up at his comment. Was he actually referring to my weight right now? Or was he just…I couldn’t tell, his face was completely emotionless. “Great. Are there any more questions?” Nat asked, getting up slowly. Everyone shook their heads. “Hope that works out.” Clint said with a sigh.

“What can even happen? I mean we’ve got our local Lighting McQueen in the flesh on our team and he apparently doesn’t only know everything but can also assist as a life coach…” I mocked venomously, shooting Pietro an angry glare. “How original.” He growled back, crossing his arms over his chest, looking away from me.

There was only one ray of sunlight that feel through the clouded sky and through the window and he happened to stand exactly there…and that was only making it more obvious that he looked fucking fantastic. What ugly irony that was. With that amused, boastful twinkle behind the infamous azure eyes and that fucking smirk…paired with that disgustingly cute sokovian accent; the most insufferable and cheeky git I had ever met in my life. “Drooling again?” his sneery voice ripped me out of my thoughts and washed over me like icy water. “Oh, in your filthy dreams maybe, Maximoff. However, I was thinking of every way you could fortuitously die. Y’know, “someone” could accidentally lock you up in that basement and leave you behind. No one would notice until it’s too late.” He just snorted amused, leaning back against a column. “I am scared, princess.” Tony sighed softly.

“Are the lovebirds done now?” I snorted irritated, before leaning back at the column facing him and looking down on the ground. “Sorry, go on.” I mumbled, inspecting my nails carefully. I felt Nat’s eyes on me but chose to ignore her for now. She would probably approach me anyways, sooner or later.

I grabbed a towel and a bottle of water and quickly pushed it inside my bag before throwing a last glimpse back into my room. I already wore my training gear, there were no keys to take with you, and everything else FRIDAY would provide quickly. I was ready for my training with Nat. My eyes fell on my floor-length mirror at the back of my room. I liked what I looked at, I was satisfied with my progress I had achieved in training so far. But maybe…my thighs could use some more attention? Pietro’s dismissive comment gnawed at my self-esteem, even though I kept telling myself that I was just reacting overly sensitive. He had probably not even meant it that way. And if he did…well then he was an asshole. I closed the door that locked immediately with a quiet peep and jogged, the duffle over my shoulder, down the hallway. If I would keep that pace I would even make it on time…or not. Pietro stood in the hallway, his eyes focused on a thin device in his hand. At the sound of my steps he looked up, posture immediately tensing.

Oh wonderful.

I planned on just simply jogging past him, but Pietro seemed to have other plans. He positioned himself right in the middle of the hallway, arms crossed over his chest and successfully blocking the way. I slowed down. “Get out of my way Sonic.” I huffed roughly, but with a mocking lilt to my tone. “Sonic now, yes? How often do you think about me, making up all those names just to try and annoy me with them, hm, princess?” he asked, his lips turned into a lazy, self-satisfied grin. Bloody… “Try to annoy you? Oh my dear supersonic Hedgehog, I think I did more than that already. But back to your question…not that much, you just happen to run through my thoughts once in a while, funny enough, always when I see you. Else, you are practically non-existent. Now move.” A blatant lie, obviously, but who needed to know that right? No one, especially not him.

“And I think I could sense that flat lie all the way from Sokovia…” he warbled softly, still that mocking smirk on his annoying face. “Sure pretty. And I am sure that if you would be in Sokovia right now and I would stand in my room, looking out the window, I could still see your monstrous ego all the way. Now would you mind and step the fuck aside, please.” He just huffed irritated, probably because he didn’t received the answer he wanted. I however passed him with a light skip in my step, hurrying off to the training facilities.

“You’re late.” Natasha called as I opened the glass doors. “I’m sorry. Would’ve been on time if I hadn’t run into a certain post-transition metal…”

“You mean…quicksilver?”

“as I was saying, I would’ve been on time.” Natasha arched her eyebrow. “What is that even between the two of you?” she then asked, fastening her boxing glove again. “Between Pietro and I? That is hostility in its purest form, dear Natasha.” I snorted, pulling the glove over my hand using my teeth. “Likely paired with great hatred and dislike.” I added, fishing for my other glove. “I see that. But why?” I shrugged rolling my shoulders back. “Guess we just don’t roll well.” Natasha still had that frown on her face. “And there isn’t more?” I gave her a skeptical look. “What more should there be Nat? Thought you wanted to start with training?” she shrugged softly, going into the first stretch position. “Alright then. Let’s warm up our cold muscles…if there are any.” She added with a wink and I rolled my eyes amused.

“You sure I am not…uhm, too heavy for you?” I asked Wanda quietly as everyone in the quinjet started to get ready. The atmosphere was calm and composed, everyone was preparing for today’s mission in his own way. “What?” Wanda asked with big eyes, a smile playing around her lips. “Where’d you get that fear from? Course I can carry you, it’s not like you’re that much taller than I am?” I shrugged uncomfortable. “Yeah but you are so…petite, kinda? I am not quite that slim love.” Wanda laughed it off. “Whatever. Don’t worry about that okay?” I nodded, returning her smile carefully. Jesus, Pietro’s comment really messed more with me than what I’d originally thought. Speaking of him, my eyes fell on his sitting frame just that second. He had his chin resting on his fists, looking relaxed as he observed the others. He wore his skintight suit, especially designed by Tony himself. Tony had once explained to me, that Pietro’s suit was made out of special fibers that would resist the strong friction that would occur and in a result, wouldn’t melt. Melted clothes was a problem we’d faced with Pietro in the first few days and Stark had been quick to solve them. I blinked my thoughts away, tearing my eyes off his frame and quickly walking over to Cap. “Nervous?” he asked as soon as I stepped next to him. “A little bit? I’m glad that I don’t have to jump out of the plane to let myself get caught by Tony and Rhodey though.” Cap laughed. “I am glad too. But Nat’s done that couple o’times. She’ll be fine. And I don’t think you have to worry about Pietro…” I gave him a dark look, “and I doubt that you do, but I am sure it all will go well.” I nudged his side playfully and he shot me a grin. “Now come on, I think I saw Rhodey and Tony give the sign.” I nodded quickly, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves. My eyes met with Natasha’s and I quickly nodded at her. “Good luck Nat.” she just grinned softly, nodding back.

“I saw you looking.” Someone mumbled next to me and I almost groaned. “Good luck to you too, Pietro.” I simply decided to say, earning a surprised look by the blonde. “That wasn’t what I said.” I shrugged, not looking at him. “But uhm…good luck to you too.” He suddenly mumbled, stepping a few steps back as the jet opened his cargo hatch before jumping out into the night. Natasha followed him after a few seconds, not hesitating a moment. I grabbed Wanda’s hand. “Ready?” I asked, carefully eyeing the yawning abyss. The wind howled and pulled at my clothes, the dark clouds looked like scary, puffy monsters bellow us. “Ready. Let’s go!” Wanda exclaimed and we let ourselves fall into the sky. The wind was ear-splittingly loud and it was incredibly cold as I clung myself at Wanda with all I’ve got. “I’ll let go now! I need my hands, okay?” Wanda yelled close to my ear and I could only nod. The fall stopped abruptly as we hovered in the air for a few seconds. “Don’t let go.” Wanda suddenly said, and that was the only warning I’ve got before we flipped around and speeded towards the ground. I could even scream anymore, all I could do was dig my fingers into Wanda’s clothes and close my eyes.

I was still shaky when Cap and I started to run towards a ventilations flap right above the ground. That would be our entry into hell, about twenty feet away from the basement and cameoed in the forest. We had only found it because of FRIDAY’S scans. “You got anything to open that?” he whispered quietly and I gave him a sly look. “I mean I’ve got a screwdriver but that could take a while.” His face dropped. “First challenge and we fail.” I grinned, stepping towards the grille. “Kidding. Tony equipped me.” And with that, a red laser started to steadily melt away the bars in a somewhat rectangular shape. “Thought so.” Steve muttered, ripping the part out with one pull. “Ladies first.” It was dark as in a cow in that darn shaft and I prayed that the blueprints Tony had somehow hacked into, were updated and we would reach the hallway we’re supposed to check out soon. Turns out that they were up to date and we soon reached another flap. After cap and I had removed it in the same way like the first one, it was our time to check out the different rooms that adjoined the corridor. “You go right, I go left, we check out two rooms and we return. We can’t split too much.” I nodded, carefully making my way towards the right side. I could hear my heart beat loudly when suddenly light flashed up, the clicking and humming of the automatic light sounding through the corridor. I looked back at Steve who grinned at me innocently. “Whoups?” I just shook my head amused. “Well done, old man.”

Someone had caught up on us. Not particularly us as in Steve and I, but there being intruders – avengers – in the building. Out of nowhere red lights started to blink and an alarm went off. “Unpleasant.” I mumbled under my breath, burning a small cross into the iron door of the room I had just checked out. It had been empty except for a few computers, tables and chairs but it all was layered with dust and dirt. It was the third room Steve and I checked out that looked like this. We were most likely in the area where they kept their old stuff or summat like that.

“Nothing?” I shook my head. “Maybe this is like…an old archive or something. They don’t do active experiments over here.” I shrugged, pushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Nat? All good?” I then whispered, pressing on my earpiece.

“We’re clean…nothing but computer stuff and maps. We scanned it all, FRIDAY should’ve already received everything. I’m just wondering where they are?”

I frowned, Steve shooting me a worried look. “What do you mean, they?” he asked now as well.

“We haven’t found one HYDRA agent yet…Team iron cans, how’bout you guys?”

I grinned slightly at her mocking call, waiting for Rhodey and Tony to answer.

“Same situation over here…Twins?”

It was quiet for a few seconds before someone answered.

“West Wing, we’ve got them all. A little help would be appreciated.”

It was Pietro, sounding slightly out of breath. “Copy that, we’re coming.” I replied without hesitation, checking my tracker. “We’re quite close…just a few floors away from us.” I informed Steve who kept looking at me funnily. “What?” I asked insecure, scratching my neck. “Nothing. I just thought you’d like to lock him up somewhere here and not go and save him…” I rolled my eyes. “Well I can’t lock him up if I don’t have him, can I? Now come on!” and we sprinted through the empty corridors. “I hope this isn’t a trap…” Steve breathed as we slithered around a corner. “Don’t think so.” I mumbled, dodging a bullet and jumped at its shooter. Just a few corners ago, we had finally come across some very confused HYDRA agents. “We’ve still got the element of surprise.” I pushed out between two powerful hits that knocked the man out. “You look like Nat.” Steve suddenly remarked, throwing his shield down the hallway. “That is the greatest compliment I could ever receive. Thanks man.” he grinned, fishing his shield out of the air. “Welcome darling.”

It really wasn’t a trap. Wanda and Pietro just had had the luck to crash a meeting or something, which was why the rest of the building was close to deserted the moment we went in. Now…it wasn’t. Guards came from everywhere now, the air was filled with various sounds of gunshots, the sound of Tony’s unibeam repulsors and Cap’s shield knocking out people. It was going great so far. We had now all reached a rather tall built complex, some sort of industrial hall or something. Tanks stood around, similar to the ones in Sokovia, some trucks and even a wrecked looking jet sort of thing. A bitter smile crossed my lips as I read the dusty lettering on its side; SHIELD. With two bullets into the engine, I made it close to useless, with two others into the tank I sealed its fate. That thing would explode the second you used it.

Two agents stormed towards me, one looking rather bulky and…well scarier than the other one. I had the latter knocked out with a bullet in his leg, however, that wouldn’t work with the first one. He swung a truncheon that had the imprint of the HYDRA logo, and he was annoyingly precise with it. I escaped my death by ducking behind the wings of the jet before the black stick came smashed down the second later. My skull would’ve been smashed into smithereens if I’d waited one more moment. By the gods… I twisted my two knifes between my fingers as I stood up again, blocking another blow successfully. What I forgot was his legs, which was why he was able to kick me across the room with his iron capped boot. I groaned as I hit the floor. Sucker…my fingers found my button with the laser pointer as I tried to get him away from me. I managed to burn a hole in his shoulder, but right afterwards he somehow managed it to reflect the laser back to me…hitting my hip. I screamed in pain and immediately deactivated the laser. That was going wonderful, really. “Looks like you need help, princess.” I closed my eyes and groaned, pushing me up again. Pietro approaching me in the state I was in right now, was not what I had planned happening. This cocky little shit would remind me every chance I’ve got. On the other hand…I really needed help with that one. “For once…I do.” I pushed out grumpily, seeing the gigantic son of a… whatever mutation that was, approach again. “Say please.” Pietro mocked, a triumphal gleam in his eyes as I looked up to him. Oh how I hated this cocky little bastard. “Please Pietro.” He winked only, extending his hand towards me, helping me up. “Wasn’t that hard, wasn’t it?” I huffed quietly, not looking up again. Pietro was gone in the blink of an eye. I took a deep breath before running towards the soldier again. Pietro had kept him occupied quite a bit. His nose was bleeding from the Sokovians punches and he stumbled around like a beaten pup. His annoying stick however was still in his hand. I made it to my mission to change that. It only took a precisely thrown knife to make him drop the bat and distract him long enough that Pietro could belt a solid bar of iron over his head. He dropped to our feet unconscious, but not dead.

“The NATO will deal with them. They’re on their way.” Tony’s voice suddenly sounded through the facility and made Pietro and I snap up. “Wonderful.” I whispered, the adrenaline that had kept me fighting disappearing from my system. The injury the laser beam had caused me hurt so bad, that white specks were dancing in front of my eyes. “Easy there…” someone suddenly said, and I felt someone gripping my arm. “Our little missus is hurt…she should get medical treatment as fast as possible.” Pietro said next to me, carefully pushing my arm over his shoulder. “I can walk McQueen.” I snapped weakly, knowing damn well that I couldn’t. He just laughed and gave a side eye. “And you could’ve also finished that soldier on your own, I bet?” I huffed again. “I had it under control.” That made him laugh even louder. “Just shut up.” And I did, trying to ignore how good it actually felt to have his arm wrapped around me.

#pietro maximoff #pietro maximoff x reader #pietro #maximoff twins #marvel imagine #marvel #reader insert #imagines #imagine #fanfiction #multifandom #age of ultron #avengers #avengers imagine #steve rodgers x reader #tony stark x reader #natasha romanov #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes imagine

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paulsebert · 7 years

Text

A brief guide to 2010 DC’s crossovers so far

Previously

Marvel Crossovers: 80s, 90s, 00s, 10s

DC Crossovers: 80s, 90s, 00s

Reign of Doomsday: Doomsday runs around kicking everyone's ass. Then Cyborg Superman absorbs some of Doomsday's powers and becomes Cyborg Doomsday! Doomsday Clones arrive! Doomsday clone named Doomslayer shows up. Somewhere along the way Lex Luthor gets a Black Lantern ring. Oh and original Doomsday pulls a face turn of sorts! The send-off of the post Crisis Superman/Pre Flashpoint Superman era throws every bonkers Dan Jurgans era Superman idea at the wall.

Flashpoint: Flash goes out back in time tries to prevent his mother's death and ends up fucking everything up. Unlike the excellent Elseworld story “The Nail” none of the changes to the timeline make a lick of sense. So we're expected to believe Barry's mom living causes Thomas Wayne to become Batman and Wonder Woman to be evil? Oh and THIS is final send-off of the Post Crisis DC Universe... Hope you weren't hoping for any grand send-off to a bunch of beloved characters. Night of the Owls: Scott Snyder's Batman starts off strong with a secret society that's been maneuvering behind the scenes in Gotham that decides it wants to move into the spotlight and voilently take over the city. Because DC is DC they decided it to release it in two trades. One

has the complete story but none of the tie-in issues. The other has all of the tie-ins but fails to include the last two issues of the story. DC is there nothing you can't screw up?!

Rise of the Third Army: After screwing things up over and over again Pre-New 52 the Guardians decide to just turn straight-up evil and unleash Star Treck's Borg on the DCU. They're called The Third Army but it's the same thing.

The Culling: Someone told Scott Lobdell that no one could write a dumber teen superhero book that Avengers Arena. Scott Lobdell said “Hold my beer...” Also everyone gets Tron Legacy costumes because that's totally going to be the next big thing.

Rotworld: Swamp Thing and Animal Man fight the existential force of death itself guarded by the nightmarish Parliament of Decay.

Death of the Family: The new and 100% more grimdark Joker (look at me I cut off my face!) stalks the Bat Family leading to a final confrontation in the Batcave. The weakest part of Snyder's Batman run fells like a six part story unnecessarily blown up to crossover length.

H'el on Earth: A Superman crossover featuring an unstoppable new villain from the writer of “The Culling.” Nope... just nope...

Throne of Atlantis: Ocean Master having usurped his brother as the new King of Atlantis is all “Imperius Rex motherfucker!” and decides to declare war on the surface world. Inspired a loose animated adaptation that you should watch instead. A Trinity War prequel..

Trinity War: Several Justice League members get possessed by Pandora's Box and the Justice League Dark intervene. At least I think that's what happens. Anyway the whole thing turns out to be a Forever Evil prequel and nothing really matters.

Forever Evil: The Crime Syndicate takes over the world and Lex Luther is like “holy shit this is a job for Superman... the guy I'm always trying to kill. But I neeeeeed him!” Lex and several bad guys have to save the day and Lex actually turns face legit. The main series is big dumb fun but some of the tie-ins (like the story about Harley Quinn murdering children) are god-awful.

Lights Out: A new villain named Rellic (That's “Killer spelled backwards!) wants to destroy the various Lantern corps for repeatedly screwing up. After what the Guardians just pulled I can't blame him.

Gothtopia: Wikipedia actually describes this as “an event set in all Batman Titles.” It certainly is.

Superman Doomed: A fight with Doomsday causes Superman to mutate into a monster called “Superdoom.” Really? They called it that? Hahahahaahahah!

Batman Endgame: Now we're talking. The finally seeming to lose his sense of humor The Joker decides to destroy Gotham City once and for all with a super insanity virus. DC makes the same damn trade mistake they did with Night of the Owls.

The New 52: Future's End: Five years into the future something bad involving Brother Eye happens and several heroes travel back in time to stop it from happening. Sort of like Days of Future's Past which had a movie adaptation in theaters at the time this book was coming out. Notable for having a Free Comic Book Day tie-in that was so bleak and so grimdark that no one actually wanted to read the main story.

Convergence: Brainiac has imprisoned bottled cities from across time including a lot of pre-New 52 characters as well as a few Elseworlds. The main series is a bit of a mess but a lot of the tie-ins are fun romps.

Robin War: DC realizes it needs to promote it's cool “We Are Robin” concept about six months too late. Oops! Multiversity: Series of interconnected oneshots by Grant Morrison that introduce all new and improved multiverse. An artfully done labyrinthine mind melt. If you one read one issue make sure it's the Shazam one which is deligthful. Really between this and the Convergence one-shot how did we not get a new Captain Marvel book? C'mon!

Darkseid War: Darkseid dies there's a civil war on Apokolips. Then the Crime Syndicate shows up. Steve Trevor is possessed by the Anti-Life Equation. Then Darkseid comes back as a talking baby... Dammit DC did you make any of these decisions between 2004 and 2015 while sober?

DC Rebirth: Several years after the launch of the New 52 comics DC tries the novel idea of just publishing some largely self contained books that don't suck. Shockingly this is their most successful event in years!

Night of the Monster Men: Professor Hugo Strange unleash big-ass giant Pacific Rim type monsters on Gotham City and it's awesome!

Justice League vs Suicide Squad: The Justice League finds out about Task Force X and aren't happy. Meanwhile Maxwell Lord and a gang of villains also have a serious grudge against Amanda Waller. A big dumb loud enjoyable action movie of a book. Features the third reboot of Lobo in less than 4 years.

#DC Comics #Shorter Comics #Crossovers #10s Crossovers #Every Crossover Ever #Reing of Doomsday #Flashpoint #Night of the Owls #Forever Evil #Trinity War #Multiversity #convergence #DC Rebirth #New 52 #Night of the Monster Men #Justice League vs Suicide Squad

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