#and my entire adult life

[hawkeyedflame]

wow so i have never counted calories a day in my life because i do not care but i was listening to some doctor expressing her opinion that people who experience relief from autoimmune issues on a carnivore diet are probably just experiencing food monotony-induced calorie restriction (the tendency to eat less over time when you are given the same exact meal every day) because there is a wealth of literature documenting the benefits of fasting and ketogenic diets for autoimmune issues. weirdly enough she didn’t connect that perhaps the mechanism isn’t calorie restriction but the fact that eating very few or no carbohydrates (as with fasting, keto and carnivore diets) forces the body into ketosis, which has very well documented health benefits.

so out of spite i looked up my approximate daily caloric intake based on what i tend to eat in a given day and. my friends.

i eat almost three thousand calories a day. easily more on some days if i feel particularly hungry.

and i LOST WEIGHT. (i was already thin btw) i lost ten pounds in the first month, and then? i gained back a few pounds and all of it was muscle. no exercise whatsoever. passive weight loss, passive muscle gain. calories in calories out is literally not true lmao. anyways.

today is my three month anniversary of carnivore. my joint pain is gone. my dental problems are gone. my chronic fatigue is gone. my acne is gone. my depression is gone. my anxiety is gone. my brain fog is gone. my chronic headaches and constant neck pain are gone. my blood sugar crashes are gone. my adhd is far more manageable than it’s ever been, and gets smaller every day. i am not experiencing the slightest hint of seasonal depression. i fall asleep without difficulty and, more incredibly, i wake up without struggle. i have so much energy that i recently started exercising because i didn’t know what to do with myself.

eliminating carbohydrates from my diet saved my life. i wish i were being dramatic, but now that i know what healthy feels like i can properly recognize how sick and feeble i’ve been for the past ten years. i never want to feel the way i used to feel ever again. i’m alive. i’m actually alive.

#the hawk speaks #long post #carnivore diet #lion diet #trying not to feel outraged that the answer was here all along and i missed more than a third of my life to date #and my entire adult life #to being sick when i didn't have to be #all i can do now is work towards higher highs with the rest of my life and be grateful i figured this out at 27 and not 57

[sketchbook-and-tony-adventures]

Happy 10 years

#I've been doing this near my entire adult life

[lazylittledragon]

obsessed with people saying “it’s cool to be weird now” fucking WHERE and how do i get there

#ramble #have you seen an instagram comment section #nobody is meaner #oh you mean the kind of weird that is still attractive and marketable and not the kind that got me bullied my entire childhood #you can look weird and have weird interests as long as you aren’t too loud or enthusiastic or strange for my taste #it is cool to be different but also no the fuck it isn’t #i am still just as ostracised in adult life as i was at school #‘they’ll be jealous of you one day’ i assure you they are Not

[learnelle]

(11/30) Recently I explained the concept of dépaysé(e), which literally translates to “de-countried”. Before I learned this word I could never eloquently describe why it always felt so off to be back in Ireland, and how I tend to feel a bit lost and foreign there despite being Irish. It can also be used in a positive context though! You could describe a holiday being great bcs everything felt so different, j’ai été dépaysé(e) ☕️

#I still love Ireland & it’s still my home ! But after living my entire adult life in France it feels so different than before I moved 😅 #studyblr #French #french langblr #language learning #language studyblr #dark academia #light academia #30dop #30nym #Langblr #foreign languages #language study

[is-this-yuri]

btw since i am actually homeless now and the holidays are over i guess i should put a donation link here. you don't have to give me any money! i know how to live for free. it would just help me be more comfortable

things i'll spend money on in priority order:

- gas for my car (this will keep me from getting towed and get me to therapy and case management appointments)

- food and water (only if i run out of food stamps, or the occasional hot food treat)

- extra blankets and clothes for the winter (it's pretty warm so i might not need this)

- laundry

i don't really like the idea of asking for money since i do in fact have plenty of experience with this situation. i've lived in my car for two and a half years total now, and i know if i'm lucky i can survive this way for a long, long time. a little extra cash will just keep me sane and for sure safe without needing to get lucky. so, if you do throw something my way i will appreciate it! it will make my life easier for sure. but, if you'd rather give your money to someone who needs it more (including yourself), i don't mind at all.

there's no monthly rewards or anything, but for a bit of fun bonus, anyone who donates will get to see my face reveal

#a very difficult post for me to make #thank you to anyone who donates anything! #ive been trying to get some kind of welfare since i cant work in this condition #and tried working for my entire adult life and just couldnt do it #but my disability isnt so clear cut that the government will take it seriously #anyway #homeless #homelessness

[oatbugs]

last night i got home kind of tipsy and very much in tears and my mother told me the force you exert to keep someone in your life is proportional to the force with which they will leave your life. if you have to fight tooth and claw to keep them, their leaving will be just as hard, just as harsh, and just as definite.

#she said it like a law. its just momentum. #also she told me to get a therapist and start archery ASAP bc i need to get it together #and also she said even granting that this person u were in love w was So Special . as in hot motorcycle-riding iranian masc lesbian in ldn #they arent the only one on earth and that once i start my proper adult life outside of studies etc etc i will probably no longer live in th #UK. she said most non straight iranians u would like have left the country anyway . where do you think they went? theyre out there #and also she asked me to imagine how many hot gay iranians there may be in italy or amsterdam or smth and i was like ok points 😭 maybe #ur right. anyway i was having a feeling of dread bc crying into the arms of ur strict asian mother while buzzed usually results in #death chaos destruction etc in the next few days but actually i think maybe she has genuinely changed as a person and the fear is #unwarranted #anyway i need to eat breakfast and study w the date person i met yesterday #they are so nice ??? genuinely so so sweet i dont feel attracted to them at all omg i genuinely think i have a thing for hot evil ppl 😭 #but we could b besties . theyre a lot more romantic than the ex situationship person too like generally . ugh they should be perfect but #alas it appears i am shallow as fuck or potentially a lesbian actually #OH THEY MIGHT ALSO BE POTENTIALLY A LESBIAN BTW #i think i just tend to not date cis ppl entirely by accident #....feel free to rb if u want btw sorry for the rant

[humans-are-tasty]

#marshall d. teach #blackbeard #blackbeard pirates #one piece #whitebeard pirates #my art #so sometimes i think about how teach stayed on WB ship for close to 30 years #now i know he was fighting and doing his part but still he never tried particularly hard and he was basically living under his dads roof #for his entire adult life #and would have continued to do so if not for the yami yami no mi #anyway after talking with a friend it got me thinking about him as a neet so there #really loose concept and this is just me procrastinating but kind of funny i thought #neet au #about marco since someone mentioned. since he was ship dr and 1st commaner i wouldnt consider him a neet #marco had a lot of responsibilities while teach was just a regular member #so marco would be the more mature and successful older bro #anyway with this i finally drew bb with tired eye bags #like this man doesnt sleep. he should look tired as hell #i feel like im going crazy #i want to draw highschool luffy and discord mod teach having a brawl on the street

[notfeelingverywell]

physical touch in sickfics is everything

checking for fever with forehead touches, back of the hand to the cheek, palm to the base of the neck, pressing foreheads together, maybe even a temperature-gauging forehead kiss etc.

whumpee nuzzling into their caretaker's cool hand

temple massages, belly rubs, tracing comforting patterns onto the whumpee's arms

hair stroking

steadying touches when the ill character sways or becomes deliriously distracted

whumpee cradled close and patted firmly through coughing fits

whumpee burying themselves into the caretaker's neck

whumpee nodding off on their shoulder

whumpee faints into their caretaker's/friend's/lover's/found family's arms, and lifted carefully

tender sponge baths/wipe-downs

caretaker hugging close a shivering whumpee, running their hands down the ill character's arms to warm them up

please feel free to add!

#whumpblr #sickblr #whumpee #are those still the tags? i haven't been on this blog in so long #hurt/comfort #not that my interest in sickfics has diminished any since that's a fixed part of my entire life but i became an adult and got distracted #whump #sickfic #sick character #caretaking #hurtcomfort #touch starved

[bogkeep]

idk why there's so much discussion around the ~*morality of traumadumping*~ when it's a VERY solvable social conundrum. all you need to do is ask something like "hey is it ok if i talk about this thing? it's kind of heavy" and respect the answer

#it's both very normal and good to talk to people about stuff that's weighing on you #AND it can be very uncomfortable to have someone unload a lot of really heavy things at you at once without warning #this is not a zero sum game? #????????????? #i guess sometimes the problem is that ppl have a different measure for what counts as 'traumadumping' #i personally associate it w the time i was a volunteer at a summer camp and one of the teens asked me if they could get my advice #and when i was like yeah sure they proceeded to tell me their entire life story which involved several deaths and horrible things #which left me in a very awkward position of Um What Did You Want My Advice For Specifically #but like i was fine!! i was the Responsible Adult who had signed up for this #and they were a teen who needed someone to listen to them!!

[writterings]

hate when therapists get suspicious when you're well educated on mental health and/or are self aware. sir i live here. of course i'm going to be able to articulate myself well about my mental illness. that does not mean im making it up.

#oh well. my therapist is this no nonsense older guy #he's nice and surprisingly validating and even confirmed i have ptsd #but like he just says shit sometimes and im like hm you are a short term 'depression and anxiety' therapist #not a therapist for whatever the fuck i got going on #like he plans to end treatment in june and i'm like sir i'm probably going to be in therapy on and off for my entire adult life #but oh well i don't have the energy to look for a new one and he helps a #bit so we're sticking with him

[maretriarch]

hi. im the thinnest woman youve ever seen in your life and im here to lecture you about intuitive eating. if you're fat that's your fault for not listening to your body correctly. you should just be eating what you want, as much as you want, when you want even though that's what you've done your entire life, but somehow youre intuitively eating the wrong way. buy my course and i will teach you the rules for my no-food-rules diet i mean lifestyle i mean food freedom. with rules.

#listening to this intuitive eating dietician who straight up said I've been within the same five pounds my entire adult life CLICK #intuitive eating is like. manifestion to me a nice thought and thats abt it nothing of substance #this breached containment so jsyk this is not an anti diet post or at least im not anti lifestyle changes. temporary diets dont work #but changing your habits forever does (something that is possible!)

[swagging-back-to]

every single time you stress out about your taxes, or your rent, or your debt, or your mortgage, or your car payment, or your medical bills, or climate change, or your stress over having to work and just do basic things like eating----- remember that if you have children, *you are directly responsible** for them feeling all of that suffering and stress and pain when they grow up.

#anti natalism #anti natalist #antinatalism #antinatalist #i genuine sit down and wish harm upon the woman who birthed me every single day for the fact she chose to keep me just to put me in foster #she did not need to make me or my four siblings. #she chose to. #she lived 3 minutes away BY FOOT to a planned parenthood. #she got rid of all her kids immediately after birthing them #she is nothing more than a factory to pop out suffering. #and i fucking hate her for that. #i would wish harm upon my sperm donor too but he already died #to think all ofthis couldve been avoided if she just did not keep me or god forbid used a goddamn condom #my entire life has been suffering. not even just with adult responsibilities #although those are definitely making everything worse #as in. im about to die on the streets homeless in a month or so. #bc i was born into poverty and abuse #all couldve been avoided if i was just never born

[werewolf-transgenderism]

will I have a panic attack at the airport? perhaps

#flying by myself #from an airport I've never been to #I have flown on a plane one singular time in my entire adult life and it was with my dad #augh

[femmeidiot]

being fat is literally so annoying and it's not even like the being fat part it's the stupid ass comments people make like as much as I struggle with body image I've pretty much accepted that this is just how my body is and how it is going to look but I am so tired of having people bring up stupid shit or feel like I owe them explanations about my body it's exhausting everyone should shut the fuck up and leave fat people alone forever cause we could absolutely destroy most of y'all's skinny asses if we needed to and I'm about to start physically fighting the next person who says any sort of bullshit to me

#like I don't owe you an explanation as to why I'm fat I don't owe you telling you that my whole family is fat #I don't owe you explaining that I have an eating disorder and so does my sister and so does my dad even though he doesn't realize it #I don't owe you the explanation that I have been the same clothing size for basically my entire adult life regardless of what my eating #habits and the amount of physical exercise I got but I'd love to make you feel stupid when you find out that I'm the same size now as I was #when I went to gym 4 days a week and took Pilates classes religiously I'm literally the same size now and I haven't gone to a gym in like #3+ years and I don't need to if I don't want to :) #and if I go to the gym it'll be cause I want to because I like to do physical activity not because anyone else wants me to cause god knows #once my fat ass is in the gym every muscle bro and lean skinny girl miserable on the treadmill is gonna be silently thanking god they don't #look like me and trying to avoid being near me the whole time I'm there

[runawaymarbles]

actually i think being fascinated by the process of lighting things on fire is what makes us human

#like #evolutionarily #op #anyway i just got my fireplace set up and i'm enjoying it a lot #but i also spent an hour last night throwing on an entire open sheet of newspaper to watch it go WOOSH! #i'm an adult? #my life

[kawuli]

so I'm about to start a new job that will require me to have a laptop that's better than this one, which I got for like $700 6 years ago. Doesn't need to be top-of-the-line, but I need to be able to comfortably write code and process medium-size (up to a few GB) datasets. Would like actual ports (headphone jack, USB-A, USB-C and HDMI, ideally). I'm currently running linux, and will probably continue to do so.

I want a relatively lightweight laptop for commuting and travel, but it doesn't need to be ultralight. Before my current laptop I had a series of 13" MacBooks/Pros and liked them, but between price and the increasingly annoying sandboxing of MacOS I'm probably not going back.

Anybody have recommendations?

#i am looking at the framework 13 #seems cool like the customization #but honestly buying macs for my entire adult life left me unprepared for the sheer number of options available #so idk