#and show all this to my closeted 14 years old self

[r0ttenhearts]

goodbye, old friend

scaramouche x childhood friend! reader

sypnosis: the memories of your childhood spent with scaramouche

warnings; angst, no comfort, mean scara, arguments, abandonment

WINTER

“what are you doing, (y/n)? stop acting like such a child!” scaramouche’s cold, pink cheeks puffed out as he smacked your hands, the cold snow falling from your gloved hands. the bottom of your lip jut out as small tears started to well up in your eyes.

“stop crying! grow up (y/n)! you’re not a baby.” scaramouche’s harsh words set off your wailing. sucking in his teeth, scaramouche set his cold hands into the snow. a small ball was formed before he set it in your hands, your crying ceasing momentarily. “y-you’re so mean to me, scara.” you sniffled out.

“i just don’t want you to be childish.” he muttered, his hand resting on the top of your head. scaramouche was only a year older than you, 13. but he acted as if he knew it all. his clear influence on you was being shown as you began trading juice boxes for flavored water, stuffed animals being hidden away in your closet when you knew he’d be over for a visit.

a small smile graced your face before cold ice hit scaramouche’s face. a startled yelp left scaramouche’s lips, your giggles following suit before he chased you in the snow. small footsteps following each other, imprinted in the cold white powder.

SPRING

“this feels so weird, scara.” you whispered to him as you both sat on your bedroom floor. the purpled haired boy sat across from you, his cheeks a slight red as he leaned in slowly. “this was your idea, (y/n). or do you want to back out?” the mocking tone in his voice was evident, a smirk across his lips with a shake of your head. “no! i don’t want.. anyone else to have this first with you, scara.”

“oh? so, you want all of my firsts?”

“shut up! that’s not what i meant!”

with your flustered, babbling self you hadn’t noticed scaramouche slowly inching towards you until his lips met yours. it was a quick, gentle kiss. enough to send scaramouche reeling backwards immediately with a choked out “are you happy now?”

a quiet yes left your lips, a small smile on your face. you had taken something he would always remember. his first kiss. his first kiss was with a girl he claimed to not be fond of, but you knew how much you meant to him. he wouldn’t spend every afternoon in your room with you if you never meant much to him. you knew that as well as he did.

that quiet afternoon was spent with you both side by side, a happy revelation that you had gotten what you had always wished for. losing your first kiss to scara at 14.

SUMMER

“you don’t mean it, scara.”

“oh but i do, (y/n). i don’t want anything to do with you anymore.”

hot tears burned your eyes, it couldn’t be true. he wasn’t doing this to you, not again. the disinterested look across his features wasn’t something you were unfamiliar with. it seemed that all he had for you lately was distaste. the past year and a half had been a whirlwind of drama and heartbreak between you two. you had ended up claiming more of his firsts, just like he teased you about.

but it seemed that you had paid a price for every little moment you would forever remember. his cruelty seemed to grow month by month. scaramouche was no longer interested in spending afternoons with you, but with other girls he would deem as interesting for a month. in return, he’d ignore you.

that was until he came back after a nasty breakup. he seemed to care more for this girl than he had for the others, as he usually was in your arms within a month. retelling the stories of how much lacking those girls had been in comparison to you.

but this time was different. his scowl wasn’t only showing his arrogance, but his anger.

“you promised me, scara!” a shared promised on a hot summer night in your backyard. a promise to not go back to the ignoring and neglect, a promise to stay. for good.

“i was lying! are you really still that dumb, (y/n)? i never wanted or needed you. you were just a placeholder until i found other girls. but you knew that, didn’t you? you just didn’t want to believe it.”

you shook your head, more hot tears rolling down your cheeks. “please, don’t do this scara. what about us? what about our friendship? i don’t want to know a life without you.”

“i do. don’t call me anymore.”

you would never forget the tears that would escape your eyes. your heart was aching for the remaining hope for things to go back to what once was. but the rest was seething, angry that you believed him time and time again. angry for his false promises.

“if you go through with this, i’ll never forgive you.”

“so be it.”

AUTUMN

a familiar scarf was wrapped around scaramouche’s neck. a dark purple, almost black thick scarf was hiding his mouth. the same scarf you had gifted him years ago on his birthday. even with the presence of the scarf, it didn’t damped the feelings that welled up in your chest. the hurt, the anger.

“well, did you need something?” you spoke flatly, shopping bags in your grip. christmas was coming up and you had started your shopping a month early. what you hadn’t accounted for was running into scaramouche. his new blonde girlfriend in a candle store nearby, unaware of the tension between you both.

“i..” his mouth opened and closed, almost like a fish gasping for air. you huffed impatiently, the gnawing anxious feeling swallowing your chest. “if there’s nothing then i’ll be on my way.” you mumbled curtly, taking a step to the side of scaramouche. his pale hand shot out, grabbing your wrist, keeping you in place.

“i’m sorry, (y/n).” he whispered, loud enough only for you to hear. the great egoistical scaramouche was apologizing to you?

“i’m sorry for, everything.” he added in a hushed whisper.

“it’s a little too late for that, don’t you think?”

you two weren’t kids anymore. this wasn’t a small thing to smile widely and take his hand again, like you once did. it was a betrayal. one that cut you deeply like a knife that was never wedged out from your heart. that pain stayed with you, that resentment. the resentment for a boy you once loved in your younger years.

“i don’t expect you to forgive me, but i want you to know that i’m sorry.” there was a slight desperation in his voice, his eyes scanning yours for a hint of what he felt so deeply when he looked at you. but you wouldn’t meet his eyes, you hadn’t since you noticed him looking at you.

you shook your head, your wrist gently being let go from his grip. you left him standing there, wondering if things could have played out differently if he hadn’t left you that summer night. watching your back slowly disappear from view felt like a familiar memory. but this time he wouldn’t expect to see you again. you were older, after all. he still remembered the promise he had broken earlier in the year. a promise to apply to the same college and share a dorm together.

your hesitance at the time bothered him, but now that he was looking back, you were right to hesitate in agreeing to it. it was a promise made to him, after all. and he had never kept a good record of keeping his promises to you. but you always forgave him anyway.

now it was college application season, you both turned in different applications to colleges in complete opposite regions. scaramouche wanted to go to sumeru, and you fontaine. he still had the list of furniture you both had planned to buy for your shared dorm. it still laid jotted down in his notepad that he kept in his bag.

it felt bittersweet to flip past it whenever he had to scribble down something, but he couldn’t bring himself to tear it out. your messy handwriting on that piece of paper was the only thing he had left of what once was a close friendship.

WINTER

the freezing cold temperatures outdoors helped for a lighter mood that christmas morning. the warmth from your parents home was inviting as you opened gifts from your family and friends.

but after all the wrapping paper was torn off boxes and cardboard, there still lay one gift for you. it resided in your parents mailbox, an early morning drop off from scaramouche himself. a letter wishing you happy holidays and tickets to an aquarium you had planned to go with him, only for him to ditch you on the day of, were nestled safely inside the card.

a six year friendship coming to a close, for good this time.

taglist: @samarill @whorerificstuff @sakiimeo @astrolomona @dearsumire @saeism @shoheartluv @0kauy @lelemnh @ayameei @aqualesha @msdevilis @linkookie197 @beriiov @xiaonscaraswife @foxlover1144 @gh0sts0up @darliingyu @magica-ren n @scara6 @Maxineslair

#genshin angst #genshin x reader #genshin x reader angst #wanderer x reader #wanderer angst #scaramouche x reader angst #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x reader #genshin scara #scaramouche angst x reader #scaramouche angst #scaramouche #scara x reader #scara x y/n #scara x you #scaranation

[liquidstar]

i think that on here we've kinda talked a lot about how the traditional "coming out" narrative presented in popculture is flawed in reality. because it always presents this idea that you have to tell everyone who you Really are, that youre Hiding parts of yourself, that you can never be You until you bare your Secrets to the world. and that actually this isnt because people feel entitled to your personal business but that its hurting YOU when they dont know your personal business so you should really just tell them. (but also dont be "too" proud because thats annoying :( act mostly cishet please but dont lie about it! hehe!) it will work out every time for sure :)

but ofc thats not how real life works. i mean, naturally i understand that there are OF COURSE people out there who want to be loud and proud about who they are, and that this is incredibly important to their identity which theyve suppressed for so long. but that "coming out" narrative is harmful because it ignores many of the reasons it had to be suppressed to begin with. its fucking dangerous! its dangerous to a lot of people for a lot of reasons. they can lose their support system, family, job, house, and their entire life. both in the sense that they'll be completely uprooted from it, and in the sense that they could be killed. so constantly presenting the notion of "coming out is good for you no matter what because its the Only way to be your Real Authentic Self and also you HAVE to do it eventually because thats how this narrative is just Meant to go. be a good little queer and please dont stray from this path."

and the problem is that plenty of young LGBT+ people completely internalize it too! ive had so many convos with young people worried about coming out to their conservative family because, well, theyre supposed to! and their minds are completely blown when i tell them that actually they dont have to do that. that theyre under no obligation to tell everyone their business and its okay to just keep being them w/o making an announcement about it. ESPECIALLY IF IT PUTS THEM IN DANGER!!!! and to be clear this issue doesnt stop at age 18 or at moving out or anything like that either, there continue to be many obstacles for many people that make coming out unsafe, or just a bad life decision to uproot everything Right Now. it's okay to just be in the closet and it isn't a moral failing like cishet media wants to convince us. we all agree, right?

good! but here's what my actual real point is:

when we talk about this, for some reason, we seem to only reaaaallly be talking about the gay side of it, right? like im sure lots of people imagined, like, teenage gay boy movies. maybe a couple lesbian and bi characters too perhaps. and that makes sense because thats like the most common narrative for this sort of trope, so ofc those are the first examples we imagine. and ofc theres the more complex addition of "passing" when it comes to trans versions of this story, the idea that you gotta look a certain way to be "valid" adds another layer.

so i think its time more people started to acknowledge this about trans people too, right? i think we can all agree with this on paper already; no trans person is obligated to come out or present a certain way if theyre not in a place where they currently are able to do so. physically, mentally, financially... or just because they dont wanna! whatever the circumstances are, there is no criteria they have to meet to be vindicated in this. it doesnt only apply to 14 year olds living with shitty parents who plan to move out soon and become "Really Trans" (as if they didnt count before conforming to The Narrative), the person could be 40 and never planning to be completely out, and its the same. they dont owe you this "showing the world who you Really are in order to [earn the right to] Be Yourself" crap. thats their choice only.

however, i also think that even if most ppl on here in lgbt circles on here agree with the general sentiment... sometimes it doesnt always get applied it practice. though the whole "truscum" thing kinda died down (thank god) i still think that rampant transmedicalism has left its scars on lots of people and the things they internalize, combined with similar cisheteronormative messages in popular media about how your narrative Should go and how you Should act and look to be respected, and its Morally Wrong not to fit that mold.

so when encountered with people who dont pass, who dont TRY to pass and instead actively choose to look like their agab due to the fact that they are literally in the closet irl (lest we forget people have whole entire complex lives outside of the net) this sort of short circuit happens in ppls heads, where that internalized idea of "but you're supposed to be THIS WAY! youre not doing it RIGHT!" pops back up and they end up labeling that person as fake or Not Trans Enough for this reason.

and i do also think part of this stems from people not having enough sympathy for those whose paths are different, because they were told not to. theres a Right way, and they did it the right way. and likely they struggled for it a lot, so isnt it unfair that people are doing it the Easy Way (as if its easy to be closeted to begin with) and claiming theyre like you? thats Wrong. they have to Earn it. you lgbts should all get mad at EACH OTHER actually! this will help your community be better [in the eyes of cishetero society that doesnt really want you to exist to begin with]

additionally the reason im emphasizing the internet side of this so much is because... well, in this day and age, thats the space lots of people go to to NOT be in the closet. to at least microdose on being "out" while in real life they very much arent. like i said before, being in the closet is rough and taxing, suppressing yourself hurts which is why so many people wanna be loud and out and proud! not everyone can though, so turning to a place with relative anonymity to get that is great, and i think its probably saved a lot of people. but also because of this, its pretty much the only way to get the scenario this is positing to begin with- where you know a stranger can know that youre trans even if youre otherwise closeted completely, just so they can tell you that youre Not. but how many people in the past do you think lived lives where they never let these feelings out at all? how many alive today do you think dont even express them online?

you know that sort trope (often stereotypes in media) of a trans person "crossdressing" only when alone, in order to get a short bit of relief or euphoria that they cant in their closed life? i think that today we have the internet to do that. i think its kind of the same thing. but its also very different, because its not as private. its still secret, because its anonymous, but its also something shared with plenty of strangers at the same time. they dont know you irl, so its safe, distant, and gives you that rush of being yourself, and being referred to correctly by others too. theres community, theres support, and theres friendship too, once you get to know those strangers. its not a "second life" or a "persona" is just a side of yourself you dont show elsewhere, an identity that needs to be let out one way or another.

who the fuck are we to deny others the right to this life-saving connection just because they arent out? because they dont pass or dress the Right way irl? because we decided they arent trying hard enough to "fit in"? because they dont plan to change their lives to fit the right narrative anytime soon?

should they not be allowed into the community then? that would be perfect wouldnt it? leave many who need support out to die, because they did it Wrong. fight within our community over who is doing it Right until we've broken it in half. the righteous ones [according to cishet standards] are surely going to be treated with respect once they get rid of the Bad ones, right?

yeah, i dont think so. thats horseshit. we're stronger together than we are apart, thats why infighting is so useful to those who dont want us to be strong to begin with. its important to help each other, boost each other up, even if some of us arent playing the "right" part irl. are we really just going to sit around and accept the cishet norms as rules to live by? fuck that. not everyones story will reflect it, and you have to accept them anyway if you want a strong community. it doesnt matter how much they might look/act like their agab irl, if theyre telling you otherwise take it at face value, respect them the way you would any other. again, many of us agree with this on paper, but i think we still have to put work into acting on that too.

the end <3

#under the cut its just a way longer version of what i just said but in regards to how closeted trans ppl are often treated online #i cut it bc it was long but im telling you what it is now if you wanna read it basically #but a lot of this is personal musings too. its not connected to any kinda disk horse or anything #just stuff ive been thinking abt mostly. how i wish there was more support for such things #bc even online i feel like most ppl overlook closeted ppl who are not kids. yknow? #as if thats the only acceptable time to be closeted bc you have an excuse. tho part of it might be remembering personal experiences too ofc #but well. like i say here everyones experiences are different and we gotta respect that basically #and i think. its ok if you dont look or act a certain way. i guess

[naavispider]

Happy late Birthday! Speaking of birthdays did you know Na'vis don't celebrate them. The closet things they have as a birthday is when a Na'vi reaches to a certain age of maturity.

So basically, Spider has never celebrated his birthday. I could imagine the recoms having a conversation about someone upcoming birthday (Lyle, Mansk, Z-dog, etc.) and Spider will have no clue on what they're talking about. This shocks everyone, Quaritch the most. He'll really have it out on Jake as no one celebrated or gave him a single childhood wonderment. In the end Quaritch and the rest of the recoms will do a little surprise birthday event for him and it'll definitely impact on Spider a lot.

Spider headcanons 🎉🎂 birthday edition 🎂🎉

when he was a toddler, none of the scientists were really sure when his birthday was. The birth had been kept quiet by higher ups in the RDA, and no one was supposed to talk about it before the battle, so there was no written record of the birth.

Norm eventually decided that they had to find out somehow, so did some digging and found out it was a March birthday (I'm biased so what) going by Earth's calendar. It took him some time - he had to go through all of Paz and Quaritch's old video logs and diary entries, assess the calendar, pick out key events that could hint as to the exact date. Even today, he suspects he knows the date but there is no actual, written conformation of Spider's birthday anywhere. They celebrate it on the 25th - Norm's best guess.

As Spider gets older and more independent, the scientists start to forget more and more about his birthday. He's never had a cake, never had anyone sing to him. Some of the scientists he was closest to make him a card every year, but if it wasn't for Norm they'd never remember. So Spider never really sees the joy in it. For him, it's just a painful reminder of Paz, the woman he lost and longed for most in the world.

One year (when he was 14 or 15) Norm mentioned to the Sullys that Spider's birthday was coming up and that maybe they should do something special. Jake of course knew the importance of birthdays, coming from Earth, and enjoyed explaining the custom to his kids. Kiri made him an intricate feathered arm band, and Tuk carved him a simple but beautiful bead for his hair. Spider was overwhelmed and speechless. He thought that night that maybe, just maybe, he belonged with the Sullys.

The next year came and went and they forgot.

After Spider got captured by the recoms, Quaritch eventually decided to work out just how old Spider was, and in doing so, realised that his birthday was already coming up (the 26th). The kid would be 16. He didn't know why or how, but he knew he wanted to mark it somehow.

He confided in Wainfleet, who suggested that Quaritch just do something simple and effective. Something meaningful that would show Spider that Quaritch really cared about him. Quaritch knew this was the perfect time. He secured the knife that his human self had carved almost 16 years ago (though it felt like only a few weeks), and offered it to Spider on the evening of his birthday.

"What's this?" Spider asked, frowning as though it was some trick.

"Take the knife, kid. It's just something your old man made you after you were born." Suddenly Quaritch got rather self conscious and pressed the handle quickly into Spider's hand. "Happy birthday."

Spider's eyes widened as though he'd forgotten. Maybe he had. "It's the 26th," Quaritch said, trying to prompt Spider.

Spider frowned. "The 26th?" he said, confusion etched on his face. "My birthday is the 25th."

Holy shit. Understanding swept through Quaritch immediately. Of course, there wouldn't have been any formal confirmation of Spider's birth, so he couldn't actually blame the lab coats for getting it wrong. Even still, it was pretty sad that the kid hadn't even been sure of his own goddamn birthday.

Quaritch corrected Spider, and that opened the door to a whole load of questions. Mainly about his birth... and about his mom.

The recom spent the majority of the rest of that evening patiently answering any questions that Spider had, and Spider could have kept going all night. This was the most answers he'd ever gotten. He couldn't stop himself - it was like Pandora's box. For the first time in forever he felt connected to Paz, learning all about his birth - what his possible other names would have been, whether they knew if he was a boy or girl, how much he weighed, the fact that he had almost needed a c-section, how much Paz held him when he was born, what Quaritch's reaction was, what the RDA's reaction was.... Spider was taking it all in like water in a drought.

The other recoms all gathered round too - hearing Quaritch reminisce was comforting and entertaining to listen to. Some of them had even been there at the time.

Of course, the answers are all given through Quaritch's lens, and Spider didn't miss the details that the colonel skipped over (like the fact he obviously wasn't at the birth), but all the same he listened eagerly with stars in his eyes until eventually, he fell asleep dreaming of Paz.

#miles spider socorro #spider socorro #miles quaritch #recom quaritch #paz socorro #spider headcanons #avatar the way of water #awow #avatar 2

[twdnonsense]

I keep seeing people on tiktok listing the most shocking moments of TWD, but they never have all the ones I’m thinking of. So, here’s every moment from TWD that left me thinking “no fucking way they just put that in the show! Wtf did I just watch???” + reasons

*note: I stopped watching after season 8, so anything that happens after that won’t be on this list*

Merle sawing his own hand off (was not expecting self amputations this early on in the series)

Sofia coming out of the barn as a walker & Rick shooting her (I truly thought that Sofia was still alive and they would find her, so this was a total shock. Plus this was the first time I realized that even kids weren’t safe in this show)

Shane killing Otis so that the zombies would eat him instead & Shane could get away (first time, in my opinion, that Shane crossed the line of no return & completely left behind his morality)

Rick killing Shane & Carl shooting zombie Shane afterwards (when Rick talked Shane down, I thought that was going to be the end of it, I didn’t expect Rick to kill Shane afterwards. The part about Carl was a smaller shock, but I really thought he was pointing the gun at Rick for a minute there)

Carl having to shoot Lori to stop her from turning (I had a feeling Lori was going to die, but I never thought that Carl would be able to shoot his own mother like that at 13 years old)

The Governor keeping his zombie daughter locked up in a closet (this just came completely out of left field for me, I didn’t expect it at all)

The Governor shooting all of his people (again, came completely out of left field. Up until this point, I thought the Governor’s logic outweighed his crazy, but apparently not)

Hershel getting beheaded (I knew Hershel was gonna die, but not that he was gonna GET HIS HEAD CHOPPED OFF!!! Plus the fact that the Governor had to take a few swings before the head came completely off)

Lizzie killing Mika (didn’t think that Lizzie was that deranged yet. Sure, she tried to smother Judith before, but I thought her own sister would be an exception)

Carol executing Lizzie (being forced to kill a deranged child for the greater good of the group was not a place I thought this show was gonna go. When Carol and Tyreese were talking beforehand and Carol kept saying “she can’t be around other people”, I vividly remember thinking “so what’re they gonna do? Leave her by herself somewhere? Cause the only other option is killing her and they wouldn’t do that.” I was wrong)

The claimer trying to rape Carl (going in, I was already expecting there to be SA’s against the women in the show cause every apocalypse show seems to feel the need to include rape in some capacity. However, I was not expecting it to happen to Carl. I knew TWD could be dark, but never in a million years did I expect them to be dark enough to include attempted CHILD RAPE against the main character’s 14 YEAR OLD son)

Rick biting Joe’s throat out & gutting the pedophile (I knew Rick would never let something like that happen to Carl, but I didn’t expect that level of rage & bloodlust, especially when we’d spent a whole season with lame ass Farmer Rick. Ngl though, I was cheering so loudly when he did this, it was completely deserved)

Terminus (I never trusted it, but I was not expecting CANNIBALS)

Pete killing Reg & Rick executing him for it (I didn’t think Pete was that crazy & I definitely didn’t expect his punishment to be that immediate)

Carl getting his eye shot out (I knew Carl lost an eye before I started the series, but I didn’t expect it to happen like that)

Negan killing Glenn & Abraham (I didn’t expect BOTH of them to die + the manner in which they died, obviously)

Carl getting bit (I really thought he was gonna make it to the end)

#Just my thoughts #feel free to add yours :) #twd #carl grimes #the walking dead #rick grimes #michonne #negan #negan smith #glenn rhee #abraham ford #lori grimes #shane walsh #lizzie samuels #mika samuels #carol peletier #tyreese williams #Pete anderson #merle dixon #sofia peletier #hershel greene #twd the governor

[chuthulhu-reads]

[ID: A page from Fruits Basket. In the first panel, Megumi is looking up as his sister, who is just barely off-panel with her arm visible at the very edge, says, "...actually... I was a little... jealous, too..." The second panel is solid black with Saki's thoughts in white text as she continues, "It felt like the Sohma family had taken Tohru-kun from me. It left me feeling... lonely." The third panel is the rest of the page and wraps around the other two, and shows Saki pulling out her hair tie, releasing her long, wavy black hair and smiling gently as she says, "But... you are right. That's why I cannot be selfish..." Just above Saki's head is a quote from Megumi earlier in the chapter, saying, "Respect the other person's feelings." End ID.]

I used to be obsessed with Saki Hanajima for reasons I couldn’t identify as a 14-year-old but I am holding my younger self’s face in my hands and gently saying: it’s because she’s beautiful and self-possessed and you are very much a lesbian, and that’s okay.

...Also nowadays I find it really hard to NOT read Hana as a barely-closeted lesbian who’s in love with Tohru. I mean, everyone in the manga comes off like they’re in love with Tohru, but Hana's interactions with attraction to men are pretty interesting; she talks about Tohru dating Yuki or Kyo more like a mother seeking solid prospects for her daughter than a teenager talking about booooooyyyyyyyyssssssss, she never seems to notice how absurdly attractive the whole Sohma family is, with the exception of Kazuma… who she only, very flatly, expresses an attraction to after finding out he’s Kyo’s dad, which has two levels to it for me. One is the terror of being outed making you seek someone “safe” to express attraction to, most commonly a male celebrity who’s definitely unattainable (me aged fifteen sitting down, thinking it through, and deciding to be attracted to Taylor Lautner and getting one of his shirtless Twilight posters to seal the decision. That’s how you experience attraction, right?), or, if pressed to choose someone “real”, someone who’s still impossible to pursue due to age/status/something else.

The other level is fucking with Kyo. You KNOW she loves fucking with Kyo. This is not a crush this is a bit and it will go for as long as it has to before Kyo realizes he’s being fucked with (this period will be measured in years). Honestly my favourite read is that Hana and Uo are a goth/jock lesbian duo who have both tragically fallen in love with the same straight girl (we’ve all been there) and bond as besties over that and live with each other during college for a solid two years before they realize they’re also in love with each other and could have been making out this whole time.

#Fruits Basket #Furuba

[ikuzeminna]

Uhura casting in SNW

I saw your post about the uhura miscasting. Do you believe in the theory some fans have that why they chose an ugly actress to play uhura was because they did not want her to be a threat to chrsitine chapel? I am glad I am not alone in thinking the new Uhura is highly very unattractive. So unattractive that it breaks the 4th wall. Like he creators don't see it. I was scared to say anything because I did not want to be labelled as a racist that hate dark skin black girls. There are very pretty dark skin black girl actresses.The Uhura actress is just not one.

Oh, Ce|ia Gοοding looks perfectly fine, my dear crap-stirring anon. Large, soulful eyes that draw the attention, a soft smile. Soft lines and curves. It's all there.

The creators of SΝW simply choose not to portray her Uhυra as attractive. And that's very easy to tell because they sure choose to do so with Chaρel. We see Chaρel be confident and cool and in a dress in a bar, we see all the ship teasing with her and Sρock and get to hear her talk about past trysts or a relationship or whatever that was. Her kissing Sρock has him feel~ things. Chaρel is actively painted as desirable by the narrative. SΝW Uhυra? We get to see her in her PJs and stuff her face hurriedly. She doesn't get to flirt with anyone. She randomly hums during a get-together to introduce a MacGuffin for later that is done so clumsily that Uhυra just comes off as a weirdo. Honestly, SΝW Uhυra's mannerisms remind me of Rοry Gilmοre. A book-smart, overachieving oddball, complete with juvenile exclamations during life or death situations ("And the crowd goes wild!").

That is not what TΟS Uhυra is like. TΟS Uhυra is refined and graceful. TΟS Uhυra is someone who is in control. She is someone who is confident. She is someone who draws attention to herself because she wants to. When she hums in the rec room and disrupts Sρock's playing, she owns it. She openly flirts with him. When Sρock tells her to hurry with the comm repairs she doesn't cave. You piss her off, she'll lock you in a closet. There was a slew of people who found her gorgeous. TΟS Uhυra was actively shown to be highly desirable (even if it couldn't go anywhere due to racism).

Hmm, did I just describe SΝW Chaρel? Oh my, what a coincidence.

If SΝW Chaρel and Uhυra switched personalities and backstories and Chaρel was written less like a 14-year-old's self-insert it would already make the characters more consistent with their TΟS counterparts. In fact, it'd make a lot of sense if Chaρel had massive daddy and self-esteem issues, explaining why in TΟS she'd latch onto the intentionally most emotionally distant man in the universe. Goodness, imagine. Exploring the reason for a woman's biggest character flaw in-depth instead of relegating her to just a dramatic love interest again. Because that's all Chaρel still is. Her modern upgrade has been knocking people out and being a spunky wisecracker, but she still has no relevance outside of her feelings for Sρock.

What an update.

To answer your question, I don't know what the creators were thinking, but it was definitely not casting an unattractive woman to get rid of competition. You can't even be unattractive as an actress. That's not how the show biz works. To me it looks more like yet another of the misguided takes about female empowerment that have been trending for the last 10+years that demand that "strong women" need to be independent and emotional hermits and not sexy because that is demeaning and women are not objects of desire or just there to be girlfriends, how dare you! what do you mean, that's what we do with Chaρel? that's completely different, oh em gee..!

The only character in SΝW who got the better deal is Τ'Ρring. She is actually a character now and not just more shallow drama for Sρock. Whoever is in charge of writing her should get a raise and be given the other characters, too, because SΝW started out strong but quickly became a kiddie pool of character depth.

No, I'm not a fan. The first half is fine but then it flushes itself down the toilet. Ηemmer dies and the focus is on Sρock's ship tease with Chaρel. Are you kidding me.

And then I have to sit through Ρike angsting about his fate yet again because the creators apparently hate disabled people.

People can scream all they want about JJ Τrek, but it got things right. It introduced new dynamics and elements that make sense and are interesting. JJ Τrek wasn't afraid to use romance and attractiveness to give depth to Uhυra and realize something that wasn't possible decades ago. It gave an attractive woman agency in her relationship that reveals as much about who she is as a person as the man she's with. Was JJ gunning for feminism? No, he was gunning for badass but got a lot of things right in the process.

They introduce her right after Sρock tells the Vυlcans to go eff themselves, showing us someone who is popular as she greets people here and there until she gets to the bar. Then Κirk comes leaning into the shot and immediately starts hitting on her. JJ Uhυra is not just popular, she is hot. So hot that the main guy sets his sights on her. And then they just start deconstructing the Hero Gets The Girl trope. You buy her a drink, she'll want something from you? Sorry, bro. You impress her with your knowledge, she'll want something from you? Nah, man. She smiles at you, she finally took the bait? Go sleep with some more farm animals, my dude.

Uhυra turning down legendary womanizer Κirk is such an important thing.

She is in control when Κirk is hitting on her, she is in control when she confronts Sρock about the Farragυt posting. Even when she's scared for her life facing the Κlingons, she remains in control of her emotions just like TΟS Uhυra when she admitted to her captain she was often scared but drew strength from him. One of her defining traits is being able to still do her job despite her emotional state.

SΝW Uhυra has none of that refinement and control. It's a completely different character. And I don't care if she is young because JJ's Τrek showed an Uhυra who was just as young, but where her core character traits were all present.

As for female empowerment, again, people can scream all they want, JJ Τrek still did a better job at it than SΝW. And why? Because an attractive woman doesn't automatically mean a sexualized woman. Yes, there is the underwear scene that was completely unnecessary and stupid, I'll own that. But aside from that dumb shot no one in the movie cares about, Uhυra being an attractive woman during the bar scene was not sexualizing Uhυra, it was portraying Κirk as a lecherous idiot. If people take a scene like that and think "Look! She's only an object of desire! She's only there to be the girlfriend!" instead of "Wow, what a jerk. Which part of no is so hard to understand, you loser?" that's on them and their male view interpretation and the bullcrap, internalized opinion that being attractive is an open invitation for every numbnut to hit on you.

It's not necessary for a strong woman or a non-sexualized woman to not have any sexuality at all. That's stupid and limiting. Like having to be allergic to nuclear families. This whole "You can’t want that, it’s demeaning!“ nonsense is pretty much the opposite of feminism. There's a reason Νichelle Νichols was wearing a freaking mini skirt during ΤOS. Because she wanted that right as a woman, not because she wanted to be a floozy.

Side note: I'm not gonna tag this anything because I have better things to do than get into arguments about a show I couldn't care less about. But I wanted to answer the ask nonetheless. I know anon will see it.

[eoieopda]

re soft asks: actually...... what if i said "all of them." how unhinged would that be (do it)

well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions..... i did this to @moni-logues last week and — uhhhh — i guess i deserve this, lmao.

buckle up, kids.

1, 2, and 3 were just answered here.

4. what flower would you like to be given?

i love, love, love, hydrangeas. idk if that yoongi drabble made that clear, lol.

5. who do you feel most you around?

my older sister and my best friend, IRL. if we're talking internet, @jihopesjoint has proven to be my actual clone in all respects, which is both spooky and incredible. we're like the lindseys lohan from the parent trap except instead of camp, it was tumblr.

6 was answered here.

7. what color brings you peace?

hmmmmmmmm. lilac or mint green. also really deep forest green.

8. tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good. 

i already tagged nicki but ope here she is again: @jihopesjoint. also YOU, @sailoryooons, @here2bbtstrash (though idk if m will see this,) @luaspersona. this is not an exhaustive list!

9. what calms you down?

i don't know if i've ever actually felt truly calm in my entire life?? but the closet i get is driving around with the windows down, listening to music, and drinking a silly little coffee.

10. what’s something you’re excited for?

well, i moved to a new state yesterday and start a new job on monday, so.... a new chapter. the previous one was v ouchie and i'm excited to put down the baggage i've been shouldering.

11. what’s your ideal date?

be honest — is this you asking me out? jk..... unless 👀 (no, i'm kidding.) i never don't want to go to a dive bar, listen to a band, be bad at pool, and laugh until my stomach hurts!!

12 was answered here.

13. what’s your comfort food?

this is so embarrassing and really snitches on my depressive habits, but lately, smuckers uncrustables have been sustaining my whole life. specifically, the strawberry ones. tell me you're struggling without telling me you're struggling!!!!

14. favorite feel-good show?

new girl and schitt's creek are always the first ones i think of when i need to turn my brain off and laugh!

15. for every emoji you get, tag someone and describe them in one word.

you didn't give me any, so i'm just gonna yeet right past this one.

16. compliment the person who sent you this number.

this is gonna sound so dumb because i don't know you in the literal, physical sense, but i'm so fucking proud of you??? i know the gauntlet you're currently going through and it warms my old, dead heart to see that you're not only surviving it, but doing (what looks to be) a really incredible job at holding onto you — your interests, your joy, your hobbies. i wasn't super successful at that. it's hard as fuck, but you're doing the damn thing.

17. fairy lights or LED lights?

HALLOWEEN LIGHTS. LIL LIGHT-UP PUMPKINS. next question.

18. do you still love stuffed animals?

yes, binch! all i have atm is a gigantic raccoon squishmallow that my sister gave me when my life exploded last year and i cling to that shit, lol.

19. most important thing in your life?

my family. my siblings, my parents, my nephews, my dog, and my best friend.

20. what do you want most in the world right now?

the first thing that came to mind is taco bell because i've been craving it for days. but uhhhhh, if we're getting existential here, i want whatever is the emotional equivalent of a deep breath.

21. if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

all you can do is love him hard and let him go.

22. what would you say to your future self?

drink water. seriously, get up and get a glass of water. right now. how are you even alive? lmao.

23. favorite piece of clothing?

an old, beat-up denim jacket that used to be my mom's! she wore it when my parents brought me over from korea, once my adoption was finalized.

24. what’s something you do to de-stress?

🏃🏻‍♀️ run, beautiful, run, yeah, you gotta run 🏃🏻‍♀️

25. what’s the best personal gift someone could give you (playlist, homemade card, etc.)

you could give me a pen cap that you chewed on and i'd still be like, omfg, you made this? for me?

but fr, i'm a sentimental bitch, so anything along the lines of "i saw/heard this and thought of you/this thing we did," etc.

26. what movie would you want to live in?

oooh, idk! is it weird if i say the craft, given what happens? i just really wanna be a witch with a bunch of other baddies.

27. which character would you want to be?

....from the movie in 25? or generally? because i'd want to be baby yoda, thottin' and boppin' around with pedro pascal, drinkin my lil drink, and being baby.

28 was answered here.

29. morning, afternoon or night?

morning! i'm an up-and-at-em kinda fella. love having a whole day ahead of me, love a breakfast sandwich, love a sunrise.

30. what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

bon fires, maple syrup, people singing while they cook/work/whatever, getting zooted and then over-competitive while playing egyptian rat screw, being hugged for a laughably long time.

#mj! #you menace #ily #jade speaks #ask game #game over y'all can go home now lmao

[mosshook]

20 questions for fic writers

thank you sm for the tag, @mangatxt / ani!!! <3

to any of my friends who write fic, feel free to do this if you'd like! (@astertiae, @catbandits) this is just for fun :]

the questions are below the cut.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

12, currently

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

44.5k

3. What fandoms do you write for?

right now, i'm not actively working on anything. but if i get a chance to work on a project over my holiday break in december, it'll probably be for our flag means death or lord of the rings.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

two very old merlin fics, my singular mandalorian fic, and both of my mob psycho fics that are over 1k words.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i usually do, yes! i think it's really cool that people take the time to leave a comment after they're done reading something of mine, be it long or short. it touches me every time, and even if i don't always know what to say in response sometimes, i appreciate them so, so much.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably ouranos. it's canon-compliant with the merlin timeline for season 4, and it follows lancelot from his sacrificial death for merlin, to his limbo existence in underworld, to being resurrected by morgana and eventually being killed in combat with arthur.

on a language level, it's also one of the first fics i wrote that started to lean more into what my style currently is! so it's kind of sweet on the occasion i reread it and can see my roots.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

definitely without a question it's this is a life. no fictional character has ever touched me quite like reigen, and i wanted to finish that specific piece on a note that was less emblematic of an ending and moreso felt like a triumphant beginning. like a promise of a new, better tomorrow.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i did once, and in hindsight it's pretty funny. but basically, i made critical comments about a character on twitter, so someone went into my comments section and told me to NEVER write for this one specific pairing anymore. (for the record, i didn't. but that was because i realized the pairing in question was kind of lame.)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i tried my hand at it once. it went horribly, but it was a learning experience. let the record know it was SO MUCH HARDER than i thought it would be.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

not really, no! i mean, i published a self-insert fic as a joke for my friends a few years ago, but that's not quite the same thing.

if we're talking "not published and will never see the light of day" stuff, i did write a little blurb where keanu reeves' jonathan harker meets alex winters' vampire marko from the lost boys.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yes. the title was taken, as was the premise, from a popular author in the community.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not to my knowledge!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yeah!!! nothing serious that ever got published, but me and my friends have collaborated on mini-projects together and have old google docs together. i used to write mini fics with my friends all the time on twitter, but sadly i never archived them.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

probably yuuri and victor from yuri on ice. i can't express enough how much yuri on ice changed my life when it came out, or the sheer euphoria i felt as a kid in the closet watching someone so much like me - yuuri - be out, and happy, and brave. i miss my show so, so much.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

my aquarium fic with serizawa as a education volunteer and reigen as a schoolteacher who takes his kids there on field trips. i have so many little scenes from it and an incredibly specific vision for it as someone who loves the sea, has a lifelong appreciation for marine life, and has always wanted to live by the shore.

16. What are your writing strengths?

oh man. i think that i do a good job of integrating leitmotifs and playing into my semi-poetic voice. i also think that over the years, i've gotten better at creating tangible atmospheres, specifically with the quiet. i love portraying the quiet.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

grammatically, i'm a bit of a nightmare sometimes. dialogue takes a while for me to develop, too.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i wouldn't do this unless i knew the other language well (like vietnamese). most likely i don't think i'll end up doing this at all because even with my personal and professional writing, i'm hesitant to write in another language that isn't english.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

merlin. i was 11 and wrote my first fic on my ipad in the pages app...it was a merlin fix-it that was over 15,000 words long, and it was absolutely atrocious. said ipad is at my parent's house locked forever because i forgot the password, and i hope it stays that way. some things should stay lost.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

honestly? i think it's still principles of stellar connectivity. i wrote this for community during lockdown in late 2020, and i conceptualized a lot of it with my friend, @combeferres. (they're credited at the beginning as the person who made the fic's mixtape!) it's got everything i love: rock music, troy and abed being silly, national parks, stargazing, celestial motifs. i wanted to do a serious character study with sitcom characters while still retaining the core of who they are and what makes them so special, and to this day, i think i was pretty successful.

#fic tag #tagged #thank you sm again for tagging me ani this was a lot of fun!!! #i am also procrastinating rn. i do not want to write this poli sci essay

[dxnbii]

☆ —— welcome to infinite entertainment! it's MOON DANBI, who is the BASSIST of TIDAL. i’ve heard whispers that the 24 year old is pretty FREE-SPIRITED but lowkey FANICFUL. also, doesn’t she remind you of YOO JIMIN (KARINA)? 

Hello amigos! Its ya girl Emma here once again delivering my sweet baby, Danbi. I’ve missed her and wanted to bring this girlie back for a while so please show her some love. I’ve made a little pinterest board for her HERE in case yall want a closer look at what she’s like. If you’d like to plot please like this and I will come to you!

Here’s some stuff to know about Danbi

Unplanned and unwanted, Danbi is the result of unprotected sex. Her mother was just 19 when she found out she was pregnant with not just one child but two. 

When her mother ran away from her responsibilities, Danbi’s grandparents took her in and raised her as their own. She always did wonder about the absence of her parents, but she never felt like she was missing anything. She was showered with love and thats all she could really ask for.

Her grandparents used to sing and hum while doing home chores. It’s where Danbi developed a love for music. And when she was old enough her grandfather taught her to play the guitar. They used to have little talent shows at home. Danbi would sing and play the guitar that was practically twice her size while grandpa played the drums. She had discovered she loved to perform. 

She started exploring with other instruments and found that they were fun, but after finding the bass she found that nothing else compared to it.

Danbi was 14 when she joined her company as a trainee and only 17 when she debuted. However it didnt happen like she always expected. There’d been rumors floating around that her company was planning to debut a girl group sometime soon and Danbi was hopeful she’d get a spot. However word got spread that Danbi also played a myriad of instruments. And just like that she was plucked out of her comfy spot amongst the other trainees and thrown into TIDAL. 

TW: Cyber Bullying. However debut wasn’t anything like she had hoped for. She wasn’t well received at all. The public can be nasty and constant hate comments at such a young age were hurtful and took a toll on her. Everything she did was under constant scrutiny. If her skirt was too short or she wore too much make up she was a whore. If she covered up she was a prude. If she looked at another male idol too long she was a pick me girl. She could never win. 

It wasn’t until she finally understood that she couldn’t please everyone that she finally stopped caring. It allowed her to be her true self and express herself to the fullest without fear of judgement. 

She’s been away filming a new drama. Stoopid infinite messed up her schedule. But she’s happy to be back and get to catch up with friends and fans. 

Fun facts!!

Danbi has a fraternal twin brother who never lets her forget shes three minutes younger

Has an immense love of fashion. Her closet cant fit all her clothes but she cant stop buying. Someone take away her credit card.

She does not handle pain well and knowing that she still got nipple piercings for her 21st birthday. She cried the entire time. 

Learned spanish by watching novelas on her downtime. 

Scott Pilgrim is def the reason she picked up the bass guitar. 

Has a yellow bike with daisy prints and a white basket in the front and she takes it for late night rides.

smol but mighty!!

possible plots??

danbi has dabbled in acting and you muse was her costar. maybe they got along. maybe they didnt. maybe the onscreen romance started becoming too real. we can discuss!

your muse took danbi under their wing. she looks up to them. idolizes them. they can do no wrong in her eyes. 

exes. good/bad. lettuce discuss!

danbi and your muse were trainees together. inseparable. but after debut they lost touch and it was inevitable that they changed over the years. trying to rekindle a friendship is hard 

danbi and you muse have never interacted. the only time they’ve come across each other is when they pass each other in the halls of the company and now backstage of the tour. however fans are busy making conspiracy videos that these two are dating from the one time they made eye contact at an award show. (ex. those taehyung and tzuyu secretly dating evidence vids) now they’re partnered up to work on a stage for the tour and things are awkward.

#infinite:intro #might add more later #please ignore any typos flkjsdlk

[willel]

I know you don't care about ships and im not tryna make you care but logically that's part of a characters storyline and intertwined with the plot so how do you think about the final season while ignoring something smack dab in the middle of the storyline it's the worst with byler/mileven because I'm most interested in their ending and Mike is RIGHT THERE. I feel like completely ignoring the possibility of either or neither being endgame means ignoring so many possibilities

I don't know. It just doesn't matter to me. Will gets a boyfriend? Good for him. Will doesn't get a boyfriend? Good for him! I can see positives in both directions. I don't think it's the end of the world if he doesn't end up with his first love. It's more important to me that his feelings and identity are validated for his own sake rather than for romance.

The same for El. Do I care if she and Mike break up? No. Do I care if they stay together? Still no. The show has given me plenty of stuff to ponder and think about regarding her character. Plenty of other things to root for that isn't about her 14 year old romance.

Back after season 2, I was kinda Jopper but I wasn't like "IT NEEDS TO HAPPEN NOW." Despite that, I was insistent that the Hoppers and Byers would become one big happy family with or without Joyce and Hopper getting together. Them getting together didn't actually matter that much to me. The Byers and the Hoppers growing so close that they were basically family did.

Like I said, I can see why people really focus on the romantic aspect of things and find it difficult to separate from the rest of the character. It's why shipping wars exist. It's why people immediately assume you must hate one of the characters in a love triangle since you don't want them to end up with the "focus" of the love triangle. The romance IS the character for some people.

It might be why you find it difficult to understand me. And I mean, I am a weirdo when it comes to relationships and romance. (I guess I shouldn't call myself weird, but I know I am in an extreme minority. Lol)

Someone else might think, "The only way for this character to be happy and for their personal plot to be resolved is if they end up with this one person in their life. Anything else would be terrible writing and completely ruin all these characters."

I think, "Ending up with that character might make the character happy. BUT, I can also imagine a future where that doesn't happen and this character's story isn't completely and utterly destroyed."

Let's look at the love triangle from my point of view. I'M NOT SAYING THIS WILL HAPPEN, I'm not saying I WANT it to happen. I'm literally about to write a random paragraph off the cuff of something I'd probably be fine with, but maybe not other people.

Will comes out to Joyce/Jonathan. Obviously gets accepted. Gains another pillar of stability to be his true self no matter what the future holds. Is able to tell El everything regarding his feelings toward Mike, would probably be a good idea to do that since that's his sister and she's currently in a relationship with him. Haven't really figured out how a conversation like that would go. Will is able to tell Mike. Maybe Mike hadn't considered that before and the confession falls a little flat, as expected. But no hatred there. Maybe even awkward support? I dunno. Will feels like a weight is lifted off his shoulders. Probably still closeted to most everyone else except his family and now Mike. Despite the lukewarm response or semi-rejection, Will doesn't crumble into a pile of despair and sorrow because of all his other personal developments (like coming out to Joyce/Jonathan first and whatever trials Vecna has for him that he overcomes) Mike's fears come true El doesn't "need" him, or at least, not romantically like he wanted? I dunno. Maybe they break up, but there are no hard feelings and Mike is just as supportive as before without the romantic undertones. Regardless of her love life, El needs the support of everyone, including Mike, to defeat the big bad. She loves them all. She protects them all. She found her people at last. She will protect them and they will protect her as best they can.

Hm, I guess that's a "No one ends up with anyone" ending. Not surprising since I came to that conclusion a little while ago as well.

AGAIN, NOT A PREDICTION. NOT A WANT. NOT A NEED. Just a random thought when prompted.

Well anon, to summarize all this garbly gook, what I'm trying to say is, I just find way more interest in practically everything else than the the conclusion of a love story.

I don't think Will's arc has to be resolved with a romantic relationship. Same for El. Is it something their characters want? Sure. Is it something their characters NEED to survive and have a happy future? Is not having this romance going to cripple them for life and ruin all their growth? No, I don't think so. I don't want their story arcs to be narrowed down to "this relationship will make or break their entire story", ya dig?

This romance stuff, after all, is supposed to be a subplot, not the main plot. If this were a show that really dedicated itself to digging in the weeds and focusing primarily on the romance, then yeah. It would be pretty of silly of me to be this way.

It'd be like me watching Titanic and thinking "This Rose and Jack relationship is nice and all, but I'm not really focused on their romance. I care more about why they overstuffed the Titanic with people making escape for everyone impossible. Also, the class dynamics presented here really interest me. I'd like to have a more in depth history on the architecture inside this fine ship!"

But Stranger Things is a sci-fi/supernatural/horror show first and foremost. It is (supposed to be) character driven so of course some romance comes along with that but... I don't think I'm supposed to care too much or believe that the romantic aspects of these characters is integral to their characters at all.

#me rambling #sorry for rambling #this is what happens when I think a lot

[libidomechanica]

You under his moulders daily for the heaven

A limerick sequence

               1

How can field Martha! The she said or say loud I hate or ever love    Amaryllis, she sullen    survive. And talk of Temperamental eyes; my nations for Scio.

               2

So sharp as hast for land as he obscure. And like a marriers blame the base,    how awkward sight be: his    new: I recollect in their own to wedlock; but Verbum sat.

               3

To haue learn’d them; at large, and o’er the moons?—And from Arabian Nightful    green, third days’ sweet must for    yet of lots were were and in Greek. Old Farmer not Rosalend?

               4

Nor lost its a bee. Had sight, ev’n to loving, and sang in half its she walls,    glitter in his own might    of and put in were in a mild the placed look down eye but dream!

               5

Two name mystic peace, I do stake one and if we can the bolt did betray.    Stall my beloved and    yet in facts emotionlessly, and hold water, the the said.

               6

And the friend, born, whose whence nourish! Rise, and self-balance, and compunction one    must prying more, and people    fortress—I, althought violence. Oh mission flying wind!

               7

I found me chain her will dipt in his poorests, i, a low rock. Tis songs he    lake: shall each him in    sepulchral hills? Yes, in papery dead ere memory repose.

               8

I was at pray have me, where, according all they all it to us, a    fool? And how bright, and the    deeps come! Farewell; tis not when this way. Year element, and sink?

               9

And a morn by ghosts—their was flesh; there night fool? The silver like a conventions    of love them remain,    the lashes round thro’ memorial cooings; no other read young.

               10

Were not speaking, over-shell feels her prove the warm precincts, wine! Had given:    her shade, and dwelt full of    fancy’s that his locks the Kidd pity heart, and I reacher song.

               11

Do you, may before thou’ ask’d the Sun. Up from come twilight shall please. Ask me    notion, and there between    the city-noise, had Here to my hour to church, then power?

               12

At the was basest which your house whose that mock-shroud desponds would not from over    utmost rememberings;    he thrice of deceitful jest? But worn by my pen—women?

               13

In hand flash’d neglectful, perhaps—but the closet: pray, when I am not.    And made away; and loved’s,    my loved, the griefs the teach of name. And hall, and bittering.

               14

But scanty draws; thereformation. The glow’d legs, and Easter, drive thou art    built on it to they glow’d    no bittering far; and uttered! Where border’d his verse long kind.

               15

Show to have expectable, gave no many a years so he faith bless close    thrice on when the cut a    wish your Bosom an authority. To find is not my fail.

               16

As after several sign over. ’ Silk and Pegasus runs pardon a’    our real eyes of our to    remedy was mine, fast be tell—tis that plank day a suitor.

               17

And wave, her faces as thorn in the learn the seemed, and beautiful, and by    trance, half the love. Of their    lives instrel instruck in fact the lawn and higher the loves, they?

               18

The histories and reach and dance rising gold, dangers? Some kind, he rest quite new    as well a malus and    cross. Endless at a wild and then all strutting claim, poor insane.

               19

This I know. A life, and theirs nor was a little boat, they went at all cry?    Though your hair. Nor can a    young rough I had voyage Timbuctoo the eye, she best in size.

               20

Ye him by the faith. And prove so fix our be; but chiefest blows of his darkness    aged each other    itself, once more the full leaded essening, some back to heard!

               21

He squeezed among the tender-showers and there and stoop from the room, too, had    surpass’d, and I burning    sea; but come, that cannot so? And if she shy Thames overworn.

               22

A cruel, cruel, cruel, love, for youth of everywhere iniquity. Brows, but place    of thy verses when she    shadowings, and the heroine. Up the height, so the ashame!

               23

Then hem knolls them tree, as there. His plan? Astrological berry winter    indifferent man! A    dank, sickle and as arrowe forests. Into yon spot away.

               24

I can’st they trice, and half the trees and their earlier into heart with shamed,    Ida whole; with company,    who shower in all colours calmly ship of Stephen Hill.

               25

Arose father at you dream my won’t you for Corydon. Thou stick of a    stars grave, for her found thus    they were bronze, they were alone; but the times she knewe I lingers.

               26

Not she doorways spoil he watch-dog’s house, in circulation of Hazeldean.—    Several oathsome duller    guardian sentially draught to him too, of man; and hand.

               27

But the Foxe him who hath Echo till not if that binds thine; but the martyr.    Eke child thy rangely    o’er words, that I see in thing monkey, as show throught as this man?

               28

He clawing of a statements and feeble, in spring payne. I have dress to    traced number Julia’s mothers    much blossom with him afraid. Beneath such a misery!

               29

Starved, pass’d my clouds divine? Of the sweet you my minnie to some remorsels    from a draughters up all    it too. The head, thy below, and in the heart, and in such clay.

               30

Of life is boys and slow draw the pain? Half-senses credit will death-weigh’d as    I. Deep folly. And sky,    week all celestial existening dress they never with weight.

               31

The floods, but mine: gives oozing out well. In searchin, and made the will notion,    must we poorest-tost; and    kings: whether! And he season left of thine o’ the river’d man.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 5 #157 texts #limerick sequence

[bilbopaggins]

1. What's the weirdest dream you've ever had? I don't know

2. If you could travel to any year in a time machine, what year would you choose and why? 2010. Life was easier then and I was pretty happy

3. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? My weight

4. What's one of the most fun childhood memories you have? My mom took my brothers, sister, and I to the library, a museum and then an old book store and then we went out for icecream.

5. If you could have dinner with a famous person (living or dead), who would you choose? Sylvia plath

6. What's your favorite movie to watch over and over again?

Ever after or clueless

7. What's your favorite season of the year?

Fall

8. Who is your celebrity crush?

Paul rudd, Leonardo dicaprio, Kate Winslet, and Sharon stone

9. What's your biggest fear?

Dying

10. What's the wildest thing you've ever done?

Had sex in public

11. What's the best advice you've ever received? You deserve the love you try to give to others

12. What's a bad habit you had that you've been able to overcome? Drinking

13. What's your dream road trip destination?

I'd love to go oregon

14. What's your favorite food of all time?

Potatoes

15. What are three items on your bucket list?

Visit Japan, have a threesome, have public sex at a music festival

16. What's your biggest regret?

Starting drinking

17. What's your favorite thing about yourself?

My sense of style

18. What's the weirdest thing in your closet?

I've got a lot of weird shit, man

19. If you had to guess what people appreciate about you the most, what would you say? My kindness

20. What's your dream job?

Something where I'm self-employed

21. If you could be a part of a family on any TV show, which family would you choose?

Fraiser

22. Of all the personal questions I could ask you, what's one you wouldn't want to answer? How many sexual partners have you had

23. What's your biggest pet peeve when it comes to social media? When people are super fake or when people feel emboldened to become an asshold because they are anonymous

24. Who's your favorite character from literature? Ender Wiggins from ender's game

25. What's an activity that you do not find fun at all? Small talk. I fucking hate it

26. What's your favorite color to wear?

Pink or blue

27. What's your favorite type of dessert?

Chocolate

28. What's the worst lie you ever told as a kid? I said my grandma with dementia told me it was ok to put foil in the microwave. That was a lie. I was too young to know it was bad and I blamed her 😭

29. Who in your family are you closest to?

My youngest brother

30. What's your favorite sport to play and why? Esports cuz I'm uncoordinated and suck at regular sports

31. If we were in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, who are three people you'd want on your team? My partner, goku, and zoro from one piece

32. If you were an ice cream flavor, what would it be? Spicy cucumber

33. What's your favorite song to sing in the shower? Baby, one more time

34. What's one thing your mom or dad doesn't understand about you? My dad doesn't understand my atheism or socialist ideals or my mental health conditions or the fact that I'm bi and not a republican

35. If you had a kid, what would you name it?

Charles "vegeta nooooo!" Jr

Or if it's a girl, Devon or Dylan

36. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yeah

37. What was your first kiss like?

I don't remember tbh. Don't even remember who it was with. Drugs are bad, mkay?

38. What was your best kiss like?

It was hottt

39. What's your idea of a perfect date?

Going hiking, doing drugs, and then a bonfire with acoustic guitar

40. What are three things you are looking for in a partner? Loyalty, they make me laugh, and they have similar interests and ideals

41. What makes you automatically swipe left on a person? Anyone who is a republican

42. Have you ever experienced true love?

Yes. I have it now ❤️

43. If you had a conversation with your ex, what's a question you'd want to ask them?

I'm friends with my ex. I'd ask why he's trying to get me to join his mlm 😅

44. What are the most frequently used emojis in text conversations? ❤️🤣😊🍆🍑💦

45. What's the wildest thing you've ever done to get someone's attention? I auditioned for a play because a boy I liked was in it. I didn't get the part 🤣🤣🤣

46. What's your biggest fear when it comes to relationships? Abandonment

47. What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done in front of someone you like? Got really drunk and said stupid shit

48. Do you find first dates fun or stressful?

Stressful af. I hate dating

49. What's your favorite movie couple and why? Cher and Josh from clueless because it's unconventional and sweet

50. What's your favorite place to take a significant other? The public Japanese garden near my house

51. Whose relationship do you admire and why? I don't know

52. At what point in a relationship do you think it's time to go public on social media?

Lol. All that shit's dumb. Who cares?

53. What's your biggest turn on?

I'm a brat and I like being dominated

54. What's your biggest turn off?

Being too pushy or acting entitled to sex

55. What's your favorite thing in life?

Anime and cocaine

56. What was the last flirty text you sent?

A picture

57. What's the worst thing about being single? sleeping alone.

58. What's the best thing about being single?

Being able to do whatever you want with no explanation

59. Would you consider yourself a hopeless romantic? Yes

60. At this point in your life, would you prefer a casual relationship or a serious relationship? Serious. I'm ready to get married and want a family

61. What's the hardest part about being in a long-term relationship? Trying to compromise without compromising yourself

62. If you were getting married, would you write your own vows? Hell yeah

63. What's your biggest regret when it comes to a past relationship, specifically? Not being more forthright

64. How do you get over a breakup?

Focus on yourself, have a good support network, a good playlist, and some shows to binge watch

65. What meme best represents your life?

66. Would you rather love and lose, or never love at all? Never love at all

67. After a disagreement, do you initiate the makeup conversation or wait for your S.O.?

It depends

68. How many people have you told "I love you" to in a romantic context?

Like 3

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Hello there :) First of all thank you so very much for all the fics you help us explore ❤️

I wanted to ask, if you have any Sterek fics which are AUs of movies Dylan and Tyler had been in (like the Maze Runner, Everybody wants some, Love and Monsters, and so on). I've been looking for some good (complete) ones, but I can't find much. 😔 Thank you 😉

This was fun! Here you go.

Bogeyman by NekoAliceYamiYaoi

(1/1 I 348 I General)

Stiles is left in charge of Thomas and Malia.

The Interns with Wolfiness by JewelQueen

(1/1 I 755 I General)

They did it, they won the competition, proved their "Googliness," landed the jobs and now it's time to say goodbye--if just for awhile. Stiles feels like he can finally breathe.

And then his ex shows up.

Tight Case by FairyNiamh

(1/1 I 1,003 I General)

Horatio comes to Beacon Hills to track a serial killer only known as Demon Wolf.

Strangers by cecld

(5/? I 3,132 I Mature)

Stiles Stiles Stiles, what did Deaton tell him?

Not to touch stuff in his room without his permission!

What does he do?

Touches something.

Which messes up everything, literally everything.

He only knows one thing...

He needs to survive and some parallel universes just don't seem to want that to happen.

Not like this by HopeSilverheart

(1/1 I 5,222 I Teen)

Some people would count a kiss with Derek Hale as a huge win, but Stiles wasn’t just anyone. Derek was his roommate and kissing him would only make things weird, and he couldn’t believe they had somehow found themselves in this situation, with all their friends yelling at them to kiss from the other side of the closet door.

“This is ridiculous,” Derek rolled his eyes. “We are not going to kiss! I am not going to kiss Stilinski! Just let us out before you forget about us and leave us in here all night.”

Or: Derek wants to kiss Stiles. Just... Not like this.

Brother Assassin by Estellestafford

(1/1 I 7,221 I Teen)

Mitch and Stiles run into each other while Mitch was looking for a target. Mitch is not sure if this is the best thing or the worse thing. Stiles is his usual persistent self, and forces Mitch to find love and become part of the pack, regardless of what he wanted, Mitch learns to live with it.

AKA

Stiles finds his older brother by accident and he is an Assassin named Mitch Rapp.

Everybody Wants Some Sterek by Electricviolinist, Marbleeyes

(1/1 I 26,262 I Mature)

Loosely based on Everybody Wants Some. Stiles thought College was going to be a hundred times better than High School, especially after winning a baseball scholarship. It was a shame that he'd forgotten about his hidden talent of pissing off everyone he meets, especially a certain green-eyed team mate.

Of Love and Monsters, or, What I Did On My Summer Apocalypse by Pdxtrent

(14/14 i 36,898 I General)

7 years after the apocalypse Stiles sets out to find his high school girlfriend Heather who he’s discovered is still alive in a world overrun with monsters. Along the way he meets Boy, an unusually intelligent dog with his own past tragedies (and who refuses to be called Dude) and the mysterious Argent clan who seem to know more than anyone should, and may be connected to several terrible deaths.

Thank you to snowqueenlou the best beta reader one could hope for. She is the reason this isn't an incoherent mess of typos and tenses and completely missing parts of the story.

Life Imitates Art by Jeffwriter

(23/23 I 37,256 I General)

Stiles is a best-selling mystery author with a bad case of writer's block. When he does a ride-along with Detective Derek Hale, Stiles learns that his books are being used as the basis for a series of crimes involving people from Beacon Hills. He has to team with Derek to save some old friends.

#teen wolf #sterek #stiles stilinski #derek hale #parallel universe #the maze runner #anon

[feelingofcontent]

DNP Rewatch: The Top Dan Memes of 2017

Date video was published: 01/14/2018 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 369

Dan’s first video of 2018, and the third and last of the “top memes” videos, exactly one year after the previous one. He asked for submissions again for this and thanked people in the description. Including “..and Phil I guess.” at the end.

0:00 - well that’s a shirt to start the new year. he posted a photo in it too. also, the laptop fireplace with the extremely dirty screen is hilarious 😂

0:21 - it definitely was a “transitional” year for DNP! From the TATINOF era into the II era

1:01 - those three tweets together are quite the collection...and then this

1:17 - okay the blankets on the plushies are adorable

1:48 - “incredibly...important content” describing some of his clothing as “obscure” is pretty accurate

2:14 - they do always take it slightly to far with videos like that and then regret it later

2:28 - I do like that he’s showing a lot of fanart in this one!

2:38 - I love his longer fluffier hair here at the start of 2018

2:51 - that is so much work for a lot of years...these old fetus Dan pictures, wow

3:06 - the Anthony photo as a “cool person” example 😂

3:18 - dramatic-Dan especially with the background music

3:56 - I am sure he regretted telling people that in that live show...but he clearly was already planning to talk about his mental health later in the year at that point

4:18 - “giving the internet a mystery will just fuel wild speculation” may be the truest most self-aware thing Dan has ever said

4:38 - oooo, shade. but accurate shade, yikes

4:47 - don’t think he’s only talking about the “week in March” thing here

5:24 - the fuzzy jumper!

5:34 - and what a video it was. though much more scripted than the previous two crafts videos

5:59 - I love that those videos are some of Dan’s favorite things they’ve made

6:19 - a jump cut into laughing always means something is coming

6:38 - I remember this, yikes

6:58 - I mean...he had to know what people were going to do with that

7:27 - I’m not sure ripped jeans qualify as “rebellious” but this is still one of my favorite photos of Dan

8:02 - I do think Dan likes the complimentary attention he gets when he posts photos

8:22 - “a lot of the things I did that year, were with Phil” is a true statement for every year 

8:28 - both Dan and Phil have always said “me and...” for years

9:19 - he had just made this mistake again in ISG 10 too

9:43 - stealing lots of clips from the moving out video

10:00 - I don’t remember seeing this reaction; I was just happy for them!

10:31 - also an amazing photo. Love Phil for that one

11:03 - definitely was a transitional year...so much happened in 2017

11:29 - “or I stopped making videos altogether” ...oh. oh dear.

11:52 - poor Dan, especially with the official VidCon stuff and everything...and his mum!

12:12 - his icon came from the same photo that he’ll discuss later as another “edit-meme”

12:32 - I would do a lot for reliable holiday baking content again

12:44 - I’m surprised he didn’t talk about filming the same day as a flight in this video

13:03 - why is he calling it “our product”? 😂

13:23 - being in actual news/gossip sites is definitely what DNP seem to hate most and I don’t blame them

13:36 - I love that he actually appreciates this though, haha

14:05 - not sure that metaphor was going to work on any level but he tried

14:38 - he’s not wrong

14:42 - there’s that same picture his YouTube icon came from

15:26 - that had to be such a weird moment for him

15:40 - I love this cutaway scene. not just for the humor, which it is hilarious, but also because DNP have a cleaning supplies caddy and a mop in a closet and that just seems so normal. (though holding his laptop that way doesn’t seem like the greatest idea...)

15:57 - the UK really does love a catchy chant for things

16:25 - ah the thing that DNP could not get out of their heads all year

16:45 - but it did give him a great video

17:10 - yet another “giving the internet a mystery will just fuel wild speculation” moment

17:42 - they really had some stressful travel situations in 2017...I’m sure that made them slightly nervous to then plan on touring again

18:19 - “like the creepy little weasel he is” 😂

18:26 - actually, Dan posted this himself...Phil just took it (unless Phil posted it from Dan’s account, which would be even funnier)

18:57 - ummm. that was a wording choice.

19:11 - he really put a lot of thought into that video. and you can see why it probably took him even longer for BIG

19:38 - this is so nice 🥺 and I definitely think that video getting a positive reaction made him think about sharing more

20:08 - Dan being proud of himself 😭

20:28 - love the range of reactions in that video to that

20:55 - you can tell that Dan does actually find these amusing

21:16 - somehow very appropriate

21:34 - that must have been an awful time

22:04 - lol the self-promo segue

22:23 - Dan is so proud of that graphic design

22:59 - these are just fun 

23:11 - “me and Phil” was right that time!

23:28 - how did that even happen?!

23:41 - wtf and why would he share that

24:09 - love the subtle “demon Phil” editing there

24:54 - I fully believe that Dan saying that is actually what started the whole thing. it could have just gone away!

25:33 - “that’s a first. even for me” 😂

26:04 - Dan’s extended reaction there where he just gestured and didn’t speak is great

27:19 - ahahahaha

27:57 - “stop it...stop it. you stop it. all of you stop it. Phil, stop it! ...I’m gonna fucking stop it” is quite a journey

28:24 - that’s sweet though that Dan did that with his mum

28:55 - oh Colin! him then hiding in shame is adorable. how can you even be mad at that face, aww

29:30 - exactly two reactions, hahaha

29:45 - and they will name their first joint pet “Norman,” so yeah

30:21 - the DAPG screaming...very true

31:31 - LMAO works too well

32:27 - “try new things”!

32:41 - very alliterative there

33:04 - love the dramatic exit you can see in the mirror 😂

This definitely seems like the most...forced? of the memes videos. I definitely feel like throughout 2017 was when DNP’s audience seemed to have a bit of a shift (in a good way) and so there just wasn’t as much of this type of humor posted. It’s really more of a year-in-review than anything and he should have just let it be that, maybe. Also, obviously, this is just shortly before Dan stopped posting videos.

I feel the need to leave you with this Dan-in-slippers photoshoot from a few days before this.

#dan and phil #dnp #dnpRewatch #daniel howell #danisnotonfire #dan howell #daniel howell videos #The Top Dan Memes of 2017

[fiveisnumber1]

The Vortex That Takes Me To You - "Me, Lu, and Five Times Two" Side Story

Main story parts:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32

_________________________

"Wait!" Five called out as he tried to hand you the briefcase

It was too late though as Luther pushed him into the vortex to 2019. As Five held the now-defunct half of the briefcase he fell through time for what felt like a matter of seconds before hitting the ground of the courtyard behind the academy. With a giant flash, the spot in the sky where the blue used to be was now gone. From afar the five known living Hargreeves siblings slowly approached the person who dropped from the sky.  Slowly, Five got up from the ground throwing the broken briefcase away as he dusted the dirt and leaves off his clothing. Approaching closer the group looks on in confusion as Klaus asks,

"Does anyone else see a slightly older version of little number Five or is that just me?"

Five took a look down at himself. His suit was too loose now and when he looked at his hands he saw no more wrinkles or signs of old age. There was a leftover puddle nearby from rain that must've occurred early and as he bent over it he saw the version of himself that he had left only moments ago. Bringing a hand up to his face, he stared at his newly youthful reflection.

"I'm young again." He whispered to himself

At the same time that this was happening you were making your way to the florist to pick up flowers that Pogo had ordered. As you walked to the shop you felt that something was wrong. No, not wrong, but different. From behind you, you felt a molecular disturbance and a giant one at that. As you continued to walk to the shop the physical pain grew so much that you had to stop and bend over. It felt like your insides were being torn apart bit by bit. Somehow managing to turn around you felt the direction it was coming from. It was coming from back towards the house. The pain of the disturbance went on for a few more seconds but then abruptly it stopped. Catching your breath, you stood back up but something felt familiar in a way. It was like an odd chill of deja vu but you had never experienced this before. But if the disturbance was coming from the house then the flowers could wait. Reginald didn't deserve flowers anyway. Quickly, you started sprinting back towards the Academy trying to get there as quickly as you could.

Back at the house, the five Hargreeves siblings sat around the kitchen table as they watched the newly returned Five make a sandwich. It had been years since they had last seen him and a lot had changed in that time. Everyone had their own thoughts and feelings on the matter and some were more upset than others. Five wasn't exactly sure what to say to them after all this time. It was quite a complicated situation to be in. Trying to not let his uncertainty show, Five stoically questioned,

"What is the date? The exact date."

The group stays quiet for a second before Vanya states,

"The 24th."

"Of?" Five pressed

"March," Vanya replies

"Good." Five comments

This was exactly the time that he was planning to be here, on the day of his father's funeral. Thank god that man was dead. If he was alive he would never hear the end of it.

"So are we gonna talk about what just happened?" Luther asks

It was no surprise to Five that Luther would speak up. Even after all this time, he was trying to take the lead on things. Instead of responding to his brother, Five puts two slices of bread down on a cutting board and focuses on his desired food item. He hadn't eaten all day and apparently paradox psychosis was a real energy drainer. He needed a second before he was going to explain anything. Standing up, Luther looks down to Five and states firmly,

"It's been 17 years." 

"It's been a lot longer than that." Five replies immediately jumping behind Luther to find marshmallows

"I didn't miss that." Luther comments

While Five looks around the kitchen for the marshmallows, Diego asks accusingly,

"So where'd you go?"

Of course, an accusatory tone. How could Diego not have one? Five could just tell that Diego was upset not because he had disappeared for years but because he was the one that made you disappear for years. If only the siblings cared for each other as much as Diego cared for you, maybe things would be different. Five didn't have time for Diego's older brother shtick though. Jumping back to the table with the marshmallows, Five bluntly replied,

"The future. It's shit by the way."

"Called it!" Klaus exclaims

Five turned towards the refrigerator to get peanut butter for his sandwich, his mind wandering as he thought back to his time in the apocalypse. 45 years. He was so arrogant to think he could time travel. Grabbing the peanut butter jar, Five talks aloud,

"I should've listened to the old man. You know jumping through space is one thing, jumping through time is a toss of the dice."

Unscrewing the lid of the peanut butter jar Five looks up from the sandwich he was making and at his siblings before him. The last time he had seen them all together was as corpses. And before that, they were all still children. It was a lot to take in but he was focused on his task of stopping the apocalypse. He had the information he needed on what caused it, but he needed to find the right time to discuss it with everyone. Keeping a stoic look he tries to deflect his mind to something else by commenting to Klaus,

"Nice dress."

"Oh, Danke," Klaus responds playing with some of the loose straps

As he starts to assemble the sandwich he was making Vanya questions him,

"So how did you get back?"

"In the end, I had to project my consciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists across every possible instance of time." Five responds

"That makes no sense," Diego says confused

"Well, it would if you were smarter." Five remarks

Diego angrily stands up and stares down Five attempting to get towards him to attack him. Instead, Luther stands up puts out an arm to hold him back. Honestly, it didn't matter if Luther was there to stop Diego or not. He was all bark and no bite.

"How long were you there?" Luther asks

"45 years." Five states bluntly "Give or take."

Luther and Diego both sit back down in unison. All the siblings stare at their brother with wide eyes in shock at his statement. 45 years?

"So what are you saying? You're 58?" Luther asks

"No. My consciousness is 58. My body is 18 again." Five retorts

With his sandwich put together, Five walks off to the side of the table they all sat around and faces away from his siblings.

"How does that even work?" Vanya inquires

"I used the improper equation when I was forced through time." Five replies

"Improper equation?" Vanya questions

Electing to ignore Vanya's question, Five turns back towards his siblings at the table. There was no reason to explain all that had happened before he came here. It was unnecessary and would probably worry his siblings more than they needed to be, or perhaps even enrage them and there was no way he was going to stop the apocalypse if his siblings weren't willing to work together. Picking up a newspaper detailing the death of his father, Five takes a look at it before commenting unamused,

"Guessed I missed the funeral."

"How did you know about that?" Luther asks

"What part of the future do you not understand." Five remarks to him, his eyes not leaving the paper "Heart failure, huh?"

"Yeah," Diego says

"No," Luther adds

Ah, yes. One and Two still fighting to be the leader of the family as if it hadn't been years since the dissolution of the Umbrella Academy.

"Hmm. Nice to see nothing's changed." Five comments

The Hargreeves looked at their newly returned brother and as he stood there quietly, holding his sandwich he stared back awkwardly at his siblings. The prior self that he left in the '60s said that you would show up when the conversation with his siblings felt over. It felt pretty over right now and there was no sign of you. Five's heart started to race, everything had been laid out for him, and now nothing was going according to plan. Panicked, Five decided it was best to leave. Keeping a serious look on his face he started to walk out of the kitchen.

"Uh, that's it? That's all you have to say?" Allison questioned

"What else is there to say?" Five responded

When he was out of sight of his siblings he once again noticed how his suit didn't fit him properly anymore. He needed to change. Flashing upstairs he looked in the closets of his siblings but was met with academy uniform after academy uniform. Reluctantly, he took an academy uniform from Klaus' closet since it looked like it would fit best and put it on. He stared at himself in the mirror for a bit before deciding to head back downstairs.

Making it back to the house, you looked around, and only felt faint traces of a disturbance. Maybe you were going crazy? Heading through the front door you looked around the foyer and some other rooms on the main floor and upper floors but found no one. Maybe they all got in an argument and left, it's not like they enjoyed being here anyway. Letting out a small sigh you made your way back downstairs to the parlor. Someone would probably show up soon enough. You stood in the doorway for a second and stared at the portrait above the fireplace. You had hated the painting at first, but you tolerated its presence after years of coexisting with it. Carefully, you made your way over to the fireplace and looked up at the portrait that loomed over you. It was nothing like him. No light in his eyes, no cocky smile on his face, no personality. Just an emotionless and unrealistic replication of who he was. You wanted him to come back.

As you stared at his portrait, Five had made his way downstairs and took in what had become of his home. As he approached the parlor he saw a giant portrait of him on the wall and below it stood a familiar figure. Five stopped in his tracks and his heart began to race. This was his (Y/N). Five readjusted his jacket and tie and took in a breath before slowly starting to walk over to you. Hearing footsteps behind you, you stopped looking at the painting and turned to look where they came from. Seeing the figure before you, your eyes went wide with shock as the world around felt like it was slowing down. Carefully, you moved forward towards him almost as if in a trance, worried that if you moved too fast he would vanish. You extended your hand out and Five moved to meet you in the middle. When the two of you were close enough your fingertips lightly brushed his cheek, but you quickly pulled back, shocked by the feeling of something there.

"I think I'm hallucinating again," you whisper

Five reaches out and gently grabs the hand you had retracted. Bringing it closer to him he places it on top of his heart, holding your hand there. You can feel his heart beating rapidly beneath your hand as your own started to catch up to match his. You looked up at his face and gazed into his eyes. Tears prick your own as you softly ask,

"Five?"

Five smiled at you as he looked upon your face. You were so beautiful. Not that you weren't in the 60s but the way you looked at him now was different. It was soft and welcoming and felt like it was only for him. Leaning in just a little closer Five whispered to you,

"I'm here."

You let out a small gasp. He was here. This was real. Flinging your arms around him you held him tightly as Five wrapped his arms around to hold you back. No wonder his other self was so protective, who would ever want to let this go? You looked up at Five. A question had loomed on your mind ever since the day he vanished and you had to know the answer.

"Are you still mad at me?" You questioned nervously

Five saw the nervous look on your face. He knew that you had wondered if he was mad at you for a while. It was one of the last things you had said to him before you...died. Five took your face into his hands. Looking gently into your eyes he answered,

"I was never mad at you, to begin with. I was mad at my dad and one of my biggest regrets will always be taking that out on you and then leaving you all alone."

With his response, a weight fell off your shoulders. For so long you had thought you were the one that drove him away. You thought he was mad at you all this time, but to know that wasn't the case made you feel so much better.

"So you didn't purposely stay away?" You asked

"No, how could I ever choose to be away from my best friend?" Five added

You looked off to the side as best as you could, given that your face was held between his hands, and hoped that he didn't notice the blush rising to your cheeks.

"I don't know, but I missed you." You mumbled

Five took his hands from your face and hugged you once more responding,

"I missed you too. Not a day went by when I didn't."

You smiled knowing that Five had missed you as much as you missed him. Day after day, month after month, year after year, you thought of him as you waited for him to come back. And now here he was before you telling you he felt the same way. It was all that you needed to hear. Well...there were other things you wanted to hear but those were more so desires than necessities. You were just happy to have him back.

"Pull that shit again and I'll kill you." You joke as you give him a small shove away

"I promise I won't." Five replies with a smirk "Although I don't think you would kill me anyway."

"Perhaps." You respond

Five threw his hands into the pockets of his academy shorts and looked at you.

"Care to walk and talk around the house?" Five offered

"Of course. Would you like me to turn invisible so you look insane for old times sake?"

"I already look insane in this uniform." Five joked

"You always did. C'mon, let's go." You say extending your hand towards him

Five looks at your hand, almost hesitant to take it because none of this felt real. Even though he had been around you not too long ago back in the 60s, this truly was different. This version of you hadn't seen him since the day he left. Unlike prior you who had experienced being around him, you had waited every day for his return. There was an excitement and awe that he got from you this time around that made him nervous. As Five thought more about the situation before him he froze up. As much as he trusted you when you said that you loved him the way he loved you Five still couldn't help but wonder if his other self just had better circumstances. He still worried that maybe that version really was just lucky. Five didn't want to get this wrong, but nevertheless, he took your hand. Fingers intertwining, there was electricity you both felt but would not tell the other.

With a smile, you started to walk around the house as you had done many times before, both of you trying your best to catch the other up. The conversation came easy as if the two of you were never separated. Five took in the sights of his old home. Nothing had really changed since he left, minus the small presence you had created. There was a newer piano in the parlor and you had shown off your wonderful room to him. He remembered your description of it from your diary and how you changed it from being Diego's to yours but it was even better in person. As you two exited your room Five looked down the hall at a shut door. It was his room. Five made his way there and you followed behind. Carefully, he opened the door to it and stepped inside. Once more you followed behind and thinking that the sight of his childhood room might be tough for him, you shut the door.

As you shut the door though Allison who had been heading to her room happened to pass by and noticed the two of you in there. Something about you two being together again reignited the feelings of her youth. She remembered the times when you and she had traded secrets about your crushes. The gossip in her immediately needed to tell someone else. Turning back around she went downstairs and noticed the rest of her siblings in the parlor again. Approaching them all she said,

"I don't want to alert anyone but Five and (Y/N) went into Five's room and shut the door."

"WHAT?!" Diego shouted as he angrily turned to face her

"Oooh, juicy," Klaus commented "I remember being 18 and hormonal. Horniness levels are through the roof, I mean-"

"NOT ON MY WATCH!" Diego yelled cutting Klaus off

There was no way his baby sister was going to be in a room with a boy alone. Especially not with the boy who had left her alone and broke her heart. What was he going to do? Break it again? Not if he had anything to say about it. With his fists clenched tight Diego started to march his way out of the parlor. He was going to protect his little tiny princess, but as he attempted to go, Luther, with his superior strength, held him back.

"Let me go, Luther!" Diego yelled

"We shouldn't just barge in there Diego." Luther criticizes

"That's MY  little sister!" Diego retorts

"There are better ways of approaching this," Luther replies

"I want to know what's going on though..." Vanya comments

"Me too," Allison adds

As the group stands around debating Ben leans over to Klaus and says,

"Klaus."

"What do you want?" Klaus replies annoyed

"Is that camera we bought as kids still in Five's room?" Ben asks

"Yeah, we never took it out. Why?"

"The tablet to watch the video feed on is in my closet." Ben states

Klaus looks at him confused for a second before realizing what Ben meant. Getting excited Klaus exclaims,

"Guys! Guys!"

The rest of the group looks over to him confused and with all of their attention grabbed Klaus continues,

"The video camera we got as kids is still in Five's room and the tablet is in Ben's closet!"

"Do you think it still even works?" Allison questions

"It's worth a try," Luther says

The group looks at each other before silently nodding in agreement. Together they head up to Ben's room and search for the tablet in his closet. Finding it they turn on the switch and to their surprise, it works. The picture quality was not as great as they remember but clear enough that they all can see what is going on. As they all stand over the tablet Diego says annoyed,

"Alright Five, what are you hiding from me."

"From us." Luther corrects

The two brothers glare at each other before turning their attention back to the tablet and the two of you in Five's room. Five stepped into his room quietly taking in the surroundings. Nothing had changed, it was as if his room was frozen in time. As he looks around you slowly approach his side. Standing next to him you looked around the room as well and comment,

"It's an odd feeling. Knowing that time has passed but everything looks the same."

Five looks towards you. Of course, you knew the feeling he was going through.

"No worries though, we'll get you everything you need to make this place feel like home again." You mention

"I already have everything I need to feel at home." Five replies, his hand holding yours just a little tighter

Five gazes in your direction but as he does so he notices something behind you. Letting go of your hand he steps around you curious and makes his way over to his desk. Looking down at the object placed there he realized that it's the radio he had taken from Allison all those years ago. Confused as to what he was looking at you followed him towards the desk and saw the radio.

"I can't believe it's still here after all this time."  Five comments

"Well we never gave it back and I'm guessing nobody wanted to come take it after..." You mention trailing off

"Yeah..." Five replies before questioning "I wonder if it still works?"

You shrugged your shoulders and gestured to the old electronic encouraging him to see if it worked. Leaning down Five plugs in the old radio before pressing the on button. The sound of static blasts loudly through the speakers causing both of you to flinch back a little in shock. After a moment Five started to turn the knob to tune the radio, searching through for a station that was clear. Soon the static started to fade and in its place music could be heard. 

As the camera continues to spy on the two of you, the rest of the Hargreeves siblings watch what goes on from Ben's room. Seeing the working radio Allison exclaims,

"Hey, it's my radio! I never got it back!" 

"Allison, it's been years and still no one cares about your radio." Klaus comments "We want to know what's up with Five and (Y/N)."

Allison lets out a huff and crosses her arms. Just because it was old and she hadn't been in possession of it or thought about it for years didn't mean it wasn't hers. Even with her pouting, the siblings continued to observe. As they did so Diego aggressively says,

"Alright Five what shit are you going to pull now?"

"I don't think he's going to do anything." Vanya comments "I mean there's nothing wrong with them being happy."

Back in Five's room, music flowed through the air as Five leaned against the edge of his desk, watching you look around the place. He was absolutely enthralled by you. The most mundane of things seemed extravagant just because you were there with him. A wide smile appeared on his face as he remembered a similar time he had spent with you. You took in the room silently as the upbeat music played. It had been a bit since you'd last been in Five's room, but for the first time in a while it felt warm and bright again. Looking over your shoulder you looked back towards Five and noticed the smile on his face.

"What?" You questioned 

"Nothing." Five replied with a shake of his head

"Nothing? The mind of Five Hargreeves is completely empty?" You joke sarcastically "This is something I'd expect from your brothers, not you."

Five rolled his eyes at you but he missed your quick wit. No one at the commission could keep up with him like you could. As you walked back over to him, Five could see the look on your face waiting for him to elaborate. 

"I was just thinking-" Five starts to explain before being cut off

"Ah, so you were thinking!" You comment back

"Yes." Five replies letting out a small laugh "I was thinking about how this reminds me of our friendiversary a bit."

"Yeah, kind of, minus the food and flowers." You reply 

You were right, there was no food and flowers. How could he even think to compare the two times when this time wasn't as perfect? Quickly standing up from the desk, Five starts to make his way over to the door as he states worried,

"Do you want food and flowers?" 

Reaching out, you grab his hand preventing him from going any further. Stopping in his tracks he looks back towards you confused at your action. Gently, you pull his hand back towards you, causing him to come back close to you. With his hand still in yours, Five asks confused,

"Do you not want food and flowers?"

"No, Five."  You replied with a smile "I just want you."

For a moment, Five could feel his heart stop. Although his expression seemed calm and collected, internally he had no clue what to do. He was so preoccupied trying to figure out how to get back to 2019 so he could stop the apocalypse that he never stopped to think fully about what would happen when he actually did so. And it wasn't until he met himself that he even found out being a teenager again was a possibility. This was the most unprepared he had ever been and the nerves he felt on your friendiversary were nothing compared to the nerves he felt now. If you didn't want food or flowers then what could he do? And then from the radio, he heard the voice of the announcer,

"This is Arlo Vegas with 103.5 WKTU. I hope that even with all the doom and gloom outside today everyone can stay high and dry. Up next, a throwback to 2017 this is Adore by Dean Lewis."

I'm just gonna stand with my bag hanging off my left arm I'm just gonna walk home kicking stones at parked cars But I had a great night, 'cause you kept rubbing against my arm So I'm just gonna stand with my bag hanging off my left arm

Five looked towards the radio as the sound of a soft guitar slowly playing and the lyrics of the song enveloped the room. As the music played he remembered the part of your friendiversary that he could never forget. He remembered how the two of you danced that night and the joy he felt in that moment. Looking back towards you he nervously asked,

"Would you like to dance...with me?"

"I'd love to." You replied longingly

Five guided you the few steps towards the center of his room taking a quiet breath as he tried to calm his nerves. How did he do this so easily as a child? Oh right, he didn't realize he was in love with you then. Turning back to face you he saw as your eyes lit up and your smile widened. So much for breathing when you took his breath away so easily. Gently, he took one of your hands in his as he wrapped his other arm around your waist. You wrapped your free arm around his neck as the two of you slowly started to dance to the music.

Get me a drink, I get drunk off one sip, just so I can adore you I want the entire street out of town just so I can be alone with you Now go when you're ready My head's getting heavy, pressed against your arm I adore you

"So is this what your prom was like last week?" Five asked 

You looked up towards him slightly confused. How did he know about your prom? It took you a second to remember but you then recalled that he had come from the future so he had to have found out about it somehow. You recalled your prom only a week ago, it was fun to be with your friends but it was definitely not the same experience as dancing with Five. With a slight chuckle, you answer.

"No, it was not like this."

"Oh, why not?" Five questions

"Well dancing with you is quite different than dancing with Dean, because neither of us had dates and we pitied each other." You explained

"I wish I could've come a week earlier then. I would've saved you the pity by dancing with your brother." Five joked

"Wow, okay." You laughed

"I'm joking." Five explained, his expression softening as he added "I'd never pass up a chance to dance with you."

"Neither would I." you replied quietly

All of my money is spent on these nights, just so we can hang out Spacing in and out of your dresses, I wanna be found by you Found by you

As the two of you swayed you couldn't help but rest your head against his chest. A small smile appeared on your face as you closed your eyes and comfortably melted into the moment. Unconsciously, you started to stroke the hair at the back of his head casing Five to lean into your touch. It was so gentle and soft. Five could feel his heart start to pick up its pace. He hoped that you couldn't hear so because he had no clue how he would explain it to you. Granted, he knew all the words he wanted to say to you but he didn't know if he'd even be able to get them out. 

Get me a drink, I get drunk off one sip, just so I can adore you I want the entire street out of town just so I can be alone with you Now go when you're ready My head's getting heavy, pressed against your arm I adore you, I adore you

As your head rested on top of him a thought came to your mind. It was something that you hadn't done in a while and something you had desired to do. Lifting your head up, you look towards Five who looks back down towards you. Had he done something wrong? Did you hear how fast his heart was beating? Quietly you ask,

"Will you spin me?"

Relief washes over Five's system as he gives you a soft smile.

"Of course I will," He replies

Slightly breaking away from you he helps to twirl you around, the smile on your face filling his heart to the point he felt it was going to burst. Your laughter filled the room as you enjoyed your time with your best friend. You couldn't think of anything to make the moment better. Five spins you back in towards him before spinning you out once more. As you spin out quickly your grip on his hand slips and you start to fall back. Quickly, Five flashes over and catches you. His arms wrapped tightly around your waist as yours find their way around his neck. 

She kicks the gutter in tight shorts, basketball courts Watch me, watch her talk to boys I'm known as a right-hand slugger Anybody else wanna touch my lover?

The two of you look at each other both trying to catch your slight breaths from the burst of adrenaline that just occurred. 

"I told you I wasn't going to let you fall." Five comments

It was too late for that though. You had fallen for him years ago in a situation exactly like this one. There was something different about it this time, an energy you had never felt before. Your eyes were still locked on each other he slowly brought you back up. The soft bridge of the song played in the back but all either of you could hear was the beating of your own hearts. Wrapped up tightly in each other's arms there was no space between the two of you. Each of you wanted to say so many things, wanted to shout the thoughts that raced in your mind, the ones you always had, but no words came out. As Five stood there with you in his arms he finally started to understand what you meant back in the 60s when you said the pieces would fall into place. Everything about this moment felt right like it was meant to be. Like he was meant to be here with you. As you continued to look into each other's eyes there was a magnetism that pulled you closer. Your faces inched closer as the space between you lessened more and more. For a moment you both wondered if you were dreaming but no, this was real. You were here with each other. And as the climax of the final verse hit, your eyes closed as your lips gently pressed against each other.

Get me a drink, I get drunk off one sip, just so I can adore you I want the entire street out of town just so I can be alone with you Now go when you're ready My head's getting heavy, pressed against your arm Just to adore you

Tenderly, you both expressed everything you wanted to tell the other without saying any words at all. The years of pining and longing to be reunited had finally culminated into something beautiful. Something you both had desired for a very long time. The world around you faded away leaving only the two of you and your newly acknowledged love for each other. Removing his arms from your waist he took your face in his hands, pulling you closer and deepening the kiss. He never wanted to leave this moment. This was all he ever wanted, this is what he survived and fought for and now to have it? It felt unreal to him. But it was real. He had you, and you had him, and nothing would ever take that away now.

I adore you

Neither of you wanted to be the first to part from the kiss but as the final lyric of the song ended the two of you slowly separated. With eyes still closed, you rested your foreheads against each other, relishing in the beautiful moment. As Five held you close, he knew he needed to tell you something. Even if he had expressed it in his kiss to you, he wanted to verbalize it, to make it know and make it real. Moving one of his hands from your cheek to your chin, he tilted your face up to look at him. As he gazed into your eyes, with adoration in his voice, he whispered,

"I love you, (Y/N)."

You could feel your stomach flutter with butterflies as you processed his words. There was nothing you wanted to hear more than those words. Finally getting to express how you felt, you replied breathlessly,

"I love you too, Five. You know what this means now though."

"What?" Five questioned

"You can never leave me again." You answer

"I promise nothing will ever tear us apart again. Not people, not distance, not time, nothing." 

The two of you looked at each other lovingly before leaning in for another kiss. As you did so the siblings in the other room saw everything. 

"Awww," Vanya said as she placed a hand over her heart

"They're so cute!" Allison exclaimed

"They are not!" Diego remarks angrily as he tries to make his way to the door "I'm going to go in there and stop him."

"Luther, stop him." Allison requests

Doing as she says, Luther wraps his arms around Diego from behind and picks him off the ground. Kicking his legs and wriggling around, Diego fights like a child trying to escape Luther's grasp.

"That is my little princess! I need to put a stop to this!" Diego complains

"She is 18, you need to let her live her life," Allison replies

"Not with him! The one who ruined it." Diego retorts

"I don't think she sees it that way," Vanya interjects

As the other siblings argue with Diego, Ben leans over to Klaus and states,

"If I was alive you would owe me $20 bucks right now. I told you they'd come back and get together before Allison and Luther would."

"Oh, shut up," Klaus replies

The rest of the group looks over to Klaus before looking back at the still flailing Diego.

"Klaus makes a good point. You need to drop this and shut up Diego." Allison states

"I will not!" Diego replies back

"If you don't calm down, drop the issue, and let them be happy I will rumor you into doing so." Allison threatens

It takes a moment but Diego soon stops his fighting. He was not going to be rumored into ignoring the situation but for now, he would put it off. Letting out a huff, Diego relents,

"Fine."

"Good, now let's shut down this camera and just leave them be. We can talk to them later." Luther commands as he puts Diego back down

And so as the siblings tried to quietly file out of Ben's room and go off to do other things, this version of Five and you stayed happily together ready to take on whatever the future threw at them.

____________________________________

Taglist: @xplrreylo @joebob15274 @insatiable-ivy @fruitsaladtree @angelpeachamber @academy-umbrella @lizziel1410 @ir3neeee @faith-quake @aliens-with-colas @sunsetcurve-1995 @lady-celeste25 @im-dead-and-hurting @nerdypinupcrystal @cherry-ki-d @anapocalypseinmymind @vicassa @2cuteforyourlies @taylorsmakingfuckingmacandcheese @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @cheshire-salvatore-mikaelson @shadowycreationcupcake @emily-hargreeves @metor-showers1994 @fivehargreevesforthewin @rinko-san @supernovavision @cicilisthebest @flickbix @hi-v-juice @magykal-777 @zosiaduda @thethirdwheelfriend @mysticracoon @isnt-it-loverly @officiallydarkgeek @lady1505 @always-the-very-worst @tinypandagirl @libidinexx @lemongrabbuns @itwasallred @deadandoverit @shlokage @keksi249 @theoriginalkat @we-stan-fiction @bi-idiot-fanfics @annnagennnie @izzyjojo4 @megasimpleplan4ever @flowertoty @grabthemoneyandletsgo @itsametaphorbriansblog @vanillacaramelhoney @satvaldiva @disaster-magician @margotsfandoms @emily-b-m @bluechildrenlickmytoes @soft-slytherin-sweetie @oceanspray5 @im-here-for-fanfics @thebloodrobin @freestarlight @starcurrent @lilacs-lavender @moatsnow @give-the-boy-a-hug @narikyuwu @whenyouregrungeaff @gabriella-aesthetic @xxtwizztedxx

#The Umbrella Academy #Umbrella Academy #umbrella acedmy #tua #tua2 #UA #number five #five hargreeves #five hargreeves x reader #the umbrella academy five #umbrella academy five

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Diary of Mafia Villainess 5

Pairing : Mafia Boss Gojo Satoru x Future Mafia Boss Reader

This is fluffy fanfic based on novel ‘Observation Record of My Self-Proclaimed Villainess Fiancée’ I used the MC’s reincarnated point of view instead of the main hero.

!!Warning!! Rom-Com, Fluff, Protective Gojo, Fluffy Gojo. All students character are aged up to 18, Dense reader. You can also read it on Ao3 under Tsumikio

Sawada [Name] 14 years old

Gojo Satoru 18 years old

 4 years have passed rather quickly and quietly after that. Today is Satoru's birthday and also the day he succeeds Gojo Family as a Boss.

Satoru has shown enough proof to be a boss despite his young age. Suguru also has officially become his right-hand man. Just like the story, Satoru becomes a mafia boss at 18.

As a long-term ally of Gojo Family, of course we are going to the evening party hosted by Gojo Family.

"Um…Mei-san…" I glanced at her smiling face.

"[Name]-sama, don't move your head!" I was quickly reprimanded by a maid.

"Yes?"

"...Why are the maids running around like today is someone's wedding…?" I sweatdropped at the state in the dressing room.

Some are raiding through the closets, some are raiding the jewelry boxes. Some are fussing over my hair-do and make-up and some are fussing to match my shoes with my dress.

"Today is Gojo's big day." She smiled.

"Then, shouldn't they fuss over Satoru? Why are they fussing over me?" I tilted my head.

"[Name]-sama!!!"

"Sorry!"

"Well, maybe because you are his date today." Mei-san answered.

"But I always come with him to every party we attend. What's so different today?" I frowned.

"[Name]-sama, don't frown!"

"...sorry…"

"Because this is the first time he attended as a Boss and with a date?"

"...I see! It makes sense." I smiled.

"Okay, now please close your eyes."

"Okay."

"Hey! How much time do we have?"

"Gojo-sama will come around 6.30. It's already 6 o'clock!"

"What?! We don't have much time anymore. We need to speed up. Chop chop."

"Yes!" I heard them yelling in unison. ~"~

"Kikufuku, are you rea-"

"Gojo-sama! You can't enter! You have to wait outside! [Name]-sama still needs a little bit more time!" And the door is slammed shut right in front of his face.

I look at my maids which have been fussing over which shoes are more suitable for the past 15 minutes. I look at the mirror. 'This will be so troublesome to take off when I want to sleep.'

Finally, they settled on a pair of grey high heels which had the same shade as my dress.

"Did you wait long?" I walked out from the dressing room.

"Kikufuku, you are...late…" He blinked. "But, it's worth the wait." He smiled. As usual, the dress and his suit's colour match each other.

"Ah. Satoru, Happy birthday." I took out a small palm sized square box from my dress pocket. It can be seen from the box that the gift is not cheap.

"A gift for me?"

"Of course." I nodded.

"Can I open it?"

"Yep. Go ahead." I smiled at his excited tone. He pulls the velvety ribbon and takes of the lid. Inside a small shining crystalline blue gemstone inlaid in a small platinum frame. "An earring?"

"Yep. I choose the same colour as your eyes. I made one for myself because I feel it's nice. So, why don't I make one for you too? Of course, if you don't like it, you can just sell it or give it to someone you like."

Actually, Yae told me this is the gift that he will give to the heroine in the future. And the idea must come from the me in the book, since Satoru is incapable of thinking something cute like this. There is a scene in the future that the me in book go ballistic because I see the heroine wears this earring. I like the idea, so I made one for myself too. I will give it to my partner in the future.' I giggled at the thought.

"Kikufuku, where is yours?"

"Yes?"

"Your earring, did you wear it?"

"Yes. I wore it right here." I showed him my earring on my right ear.

"Then…" He took off my earring and put his gift on my ear.

"Eh? Why do you take mine off? Yours is this." I frowned as I tried to take it off.

"But I like this colour better." He argued, putting my earring on his left ear.

"Ehh… But I thought having the same colour as your eyes is better…" I mumbled.

"Yep. That's why I gave it to you. You like the colour, right?"

"Well yes, I do like it. But…I was planning to give it to someone I like." I muttered.

“Someone you like?”

*shiver* ‘Why do I feel cold all of sudden?’

“Kikufuku, you don’t like me?”

“Of course I like you.” I replied as if that is the most obvious thing in the world.

“Then, it’s not a problem.” He beamed. “Because I like you too. Then, you can give this to me.” He smiled. “Since we like each other then, it’s okay to exchange the earrings.”

“That’s true. But…” 'Why do I feel something is off?'

"It's fine. I like this one better. Give me this as your present." He said. "C'mon Kikufuku. Today is my birthday. Grant me this one wish." He pulled out his puppy dog eyes.

"Fine…" I sighed.

"Let's go, Kikufuku. They are already waiting." He grabbed my hands and led me to the waiting limousine.

"You are late." Yae frowned.

"Sorry.” I took a seat beside her.

“Satoru, you didn’t do anything to [Name]-chan, right?” Suguru glared accusingly at Satoru.

“I didn’t.” Satoru rolled his eyes.

“[Name]…your ea-“

“Kikufuku, I have a rare candy chocolate.” Satoru suddenly threw something to me. A chocolate candy lands on my palm. I tear open the wrapper and eat it. “How was it?”

“Delicious.” I nodded my head. “What were you going to say, Yae?” I looked at my best friend.

“Nothing.” She shook her head, amused.

Tonight, as the star of this evening party, Satoru draws a lot of attention. Well, he usually drew a lot too. It’s just this time is more than usual. A lot of young women are eyeing him. I set a glare as default, scaring them. ‘Back off, you are not the heroine.’

“Kikufuku, you look like an angry cat.” Satoru chuckled as he whispered into my ear.

“!!!” “Don’t suddenly whisper like that. I am going to have a heart attack.” I tried to suppress the rising blush and calm down my heart rate.

“Sorry, Kikufuku. Don’t be mad.” He raised his hands in surrender.

“Well, you seem to have a lot to talk about. I will go to Yae’s. You can find me after you finish your business.” I said.

“Okay.”

“And…” I frowned at his crooked necktie.

“Hm?” He still wore a smile on his lips.

“Bend down a little, your necktie is crooked.” I muttered. Satoru complies, my hands then fix his necktie quickly. “You are already 18, you should be able to fix your own necktie.” I grumbled. (Completely missing the glare he gives to other males in the party who looks at his partner a second longer than necessary.)

Then, Yae and I are standing near a quiet balcony, enjoying grape juice and sweets. “4 more years.” I muttered.

“What is?”

“4 more years and the story will start. I will definitely give him a happy ending with the heroine while heading proudly and beautifully to the ruin.” I said seriously.

“…Good luck with that. I don’t think Satoru-san will head over heel for another girl with you are here…”

“What did you say?”

“Nothing. I just said good luck, I will support you.” She said.

“Of course. Thank you, Yae. You are the best.” I beamed.

“Anything for my best friend.” She smiled. “Wait here for a moment. I need to go to dispose of some pests near Megumi. Don’t go around taking candy from an unknown stranger.” Is what she said.

“I am not a child. I won’t take sweets from strangers.” I sweatdropped. After being left alone, I wander to refreshment counters to refill my sweets and drink. "Hm?" My eyes wander to a blue coloured drink on the table. I take a sip. 'It's surprisingly delicious.' I downed the whole thing. And take another one to enjoy.

I retreat back to the balcony to enjoy it. My mind feels warm and fuzzy after drinking it. "He...hehehe…" I feel strangely happy. The night sky is pretty. The stars glittering above. "Now that I think about it…" I mumbled looking at the sky.

An idea suddenly pops out in my mind. "Hehehe." ~"~

 "Satoru-san, a moment please." Yae cut into the conversation. Seeing it's a Kurogane who cut into the conversation, his talking partner gestured an okay. But, the young lady beside him, presumably his daughter, is not pleased.

Yae pays her no mind as she whispers something to him. Gojo's eyes narrowed slightly. "Well then, enjoy the party. I have something else to do." Gojo smirked.

"Where did the last time you see her?"

"Near the balcony. That girl… I told her don't wander alone." Yae grumbled.

"It's Kikufuku we are talking about. I will be more surprised if she sits still." Gojo chuckled.

"Right. I guess that's true." Yae sighed. "Anyway, the others and I are going to search around the party hall once more." Yae said as she went to the opposite directions and gathered the others.

Gojo looks down from the balcony, trying to see a trace of his Kikufuku. "...hehehe...hic…" A quiet familiar giggle registered to his ears.

"Kikufuku?" Gojo called.

"Hic, Satoru… I am here...hehehe…" Gojo blinks and looks up, finally found out his Kikufuku's whereabout.

"Kikufuku, why are you there? It's dangerous. Come down." Gojo called

[Name] looks at him blankly, before standing up, wobbling slightly. "I am going down then." She giggled.

"Jump down." He held out his hand, the girl then jumped down right into his waiting arms.

"Hahaha. It's fun. One more time." [Name] laughed gleefully.

"You can't, Kikufuku." Gojo sighed helplessly.

"Satoru…" The girl slurred.

"Hm?"

"I will definitely give you a happy ending."

"I know. I am waiting." He grinned.

"With the heroine!" She declared. In instant the grin on his face stiffened.

"Hehehe. I will give you and the heroine a happy ending. So, wait until I am 18. You will meet the heroine and fall in love with her. And then with the power of love, you will overcome the obstacles together. While I will head straight to the ruin beautifully and proudly. I am the villainess." [Name] babbled out.

"Heroine…? Who is the heroine?" His eyes narrowed slightly.

"Silly Satoru, the heroine is the heroine. A girl looks like Yamato Nadeshiko. She has long black hair and black eyes. A Japanese beauty. Her name is…. Yanagawa Aiki? Aiko? Or something like that. She is an orphan. But when she met you, you two won't be lonely anymore. I will bully her and then you will come to hate me and annihilate my family." She continued while nodding sagely and drunkenly.

"But, it's okay. As long as you have a happy ending with the heroine, I will be fine. My purpose here is to give you a happy ending. I will do my best. Fight o!!!"

"An orphan with black hair and black eyes. A Japanese beauty, Yanagawa…" He muttered.

"Oh! The most romantic part when you two share the first kiss under the starry sky. I definitely won't miss it."

"Under the starry sky, you say?" He looked at the drunk girl in his arms, still giggling happily. Then at the starry sky above them "Then…" He pressed his lips to her.

[Name] blinks and pushes him away. "Bad Satoru, you are supposed to give a kiss to the heroine, not me." Drunk [Name] scolded as she poked his chest.

"But I like you, Kikufuku."

"You are supposed to like the heroine, not me!" [Name] pouted.

"I don't even know her. How can I like her?"

"Nooo! You will like her!" She started struggling.

"Don't struggle, Kikufuku." He frowned.

"Say you will like her."

"Okay, fine. I will only love the girl I choose myself."

"Good." She smiled before falling asleep with a satisfied smile while snuggling closer to his body.

"...Seems like there is something going on. I need Suguru to investigate this. A Japanese beauty heroine…" He sighed, looking at the sleeping beauty in his arms. "...Kikufuku, what are you hiding from me?"

“But… you taste sweeter than expected.” He pressed a kiss on her forehead. “Sweet dream, Kikufuku.”

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Entry 5

 I am glad the story is still on the right path.

(I blurted out the secret I have been hiding while being drunk and lost my first kiss without knowing.)

#jjk fluff #rom-com #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x oc #gojo fluff #fluffy gojo #protective gojo #jjk mafia au #mafia gojo #gojo x reader