#and then there's just the nuances and subtleties it's SO hard to nail

[renthony]

Animation (specifically 2D animation) is my preferred TV/film medium. A piece of live-action has to go above and beyond to get over my personal bias of, "most things would be better if they were animated," but it's taken me a long time to figure out what, exactly, makes a piece of live-action really do it for me.

I think what it really comes down to, for me, is the little details. If your live-action doesn't have some level of nuanced physical acting, intense detailing in costuming and set design, a strong sense of visual storytelling, or kickass practical effects, I'm pretty much always going to come away thinking, "I'd like it better as a cartoon."

I think some of this is due to my issues with face blindness--I need characters to have distinct silhouette and costuming, or they will all blur together in my head. Animation tends to stress the importance of silhouette, so I have an easier time telling everyone apart and following who's who. That's not to say that this problem doesn't happen in animation, or that it always happens in live action, but I do think it contributes to my personal preferences.

Anyway, just for fun, a random shortlist of some live-action that I think uses its medium well:

Child's Play/Chucky. Half the appeal of Chucky (IMHO) is the incredible showcase of practical effects and animatronics. Each incarnation of the Chucky doll incorporates incredible advances in animatronic and puppeteering technology. I have on multiple occasions compared the Chucky puppeteer team to Muppet performers. That shit is its own art form, and it's incredible. The current Chucky show makes some use of CGI, but it's all to enhance the practical effects, and the puppeteers are all given the spotlight in the show's credits. I love that.

Killjoys. The incredible nuance to the actors' body and facial acting is mind-blowing. The set design and costuming are gorgeous, and there's a lot of very good detail worked into the visual space that would be hard to animate. They use their CGI well when they do use it, but a significant amount of the show seems to be practical effects and props. Additionally, Hannah John-Kamen's ability to flawlessly portray multiple characters is so good it's uncanny and makes you forget they're literally being played by the same woman. She changes her entire body language, and it's phenomenal.

Jordan Peele's entire body of horror. His films pack in so much symbolism and subtlety that I could probably watch them all a million times and still find new details. The nuance in the acting, the sheer detail packed into the costuming and set design, the use of color...god. It's unreal.

Crimson Peak, because the set design for that film...holy fuck. The costuming and set design in that film are pure gold. The acting is also phenomenal, but I could probably talk about the set design for hours. The house is a character in its own right.

Galavant and Our Flag Means Death, both for the same reason: both shows feel like I'm hanging out at a ren faire being goofy with my friends. They feel like I'm watching a LARP. They feel like they could easily exist in the same setting as Muppet Treasure Island, and at any second Kermit is going to show up and start singing, and it wouldn't be out of place at all. I think I'd also include Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves in this category, along with The Princess Bride and Labyrinth--all of which also include kickass practical effects, choreography, and costuming.

This isn't some sort of objective truth or anything. I just like that I've finally been able to nail down some reasons why I prefer animation, beyond just, "idk, cartoons are fun."

#original post

[ojcobsessed]

Helming Jamie Childs' new crime-thriller, the actor talks tuning into a character, writing out their history and embracing the spontaneity of his own.

BY SOPHIE WANG

In early January 2022, as the rest of us added layer upon layer, watching the temperatures drop to zero, Oliver Jackson-Cohen travelled north of his London home and jumped bravely into the North Sea. “I’m really proud of the whole movie, but I’m quite proud that we all made it out alive, really,” he tells me nine months later, home safe with rays of morning sun separating us from the realities of his time filming, Jackdaw.

The debut feature from TV writer and director Jamie Childs (The Sandman, His Dark Materials), Jackdaw tells the story of Jackson-Cohen’s Jack Dawson, a former motocross champion and army veteran who, in an effort to support his younger brother, agrees to pick up a mysterious package in the North Sea, only to find himself tricked and his brother kidnapped. Subsequently, Jackdaw — as he’s better known — embarks on a one-night, breakneck journey through Northern England’s rust belt on his bike, reconnecting with his past as the subtleties in his complex backstory and familial history slowly unravel against a backdrop of nail-biting action.

The nuanced portrayal of such a character could possibly only be achieved by Jackson-Cohen, who seamlessly masters the art of tuning into his character’s psyche. Since a childhood trip to see Home Alone in the cinema, the 36-year-old has been fascinated by the possibility of disappearing into someone else’s world and delving into their stories. Subsequently booking his first job at 15 years old, the London native has spent the past decade and a half immersed in alternate worlds, from the horrors of 2018’s The Haunting of Hill House and 2020’s The Invisible Man to the post-WWII reality of Man in an Orange Shirt and the 19th-century Yorkshire of last year’s Emma Mackie-led, Emily. He mentions twice in our chat that at this point in his journey, he feels “like 150 years old”, and it’s hard to be surprised. Between time-travelling, fronting countless stories and embodying dozens of different people, he’s lived many lives.   “I always think it's quite funny that this passion was born as a kid and here I am as an adult doing it,” he laughs. “I do sometimes think: ‘Is that the smartest fucking thing?’ Because when you're a kid, you have all of these ideas and they're not the smartest ones.”

Though some of his childhood plays (written and directed by him and his friends) may have had “zero plot”, as Jackson-Cohen tells me, and it took him a bit of time in his early twenties to figure out the projects that would resonate with him, it is safe to say that his childhood dream was definitely not a bad idea. “I think with any passion that stems from childhood, the drive is so insane. I think with anything creative, you have to have this insane determination, regardless of where it stems from. It's just this weird drive forward that you kind of can't stop.” He pauses. “I feel like I've had many iterations of a career. I look back at the stuff I was doing in my early twenties and it was very much what I was told to be doing. I think it takes time to make mistakes and learn from those to actually find out what it is that resonates with you. Ultimately, I think it probably has something to do with exploring something that I'm not looking at in myself and being able to unlock that, to explore that with a character.”

Hearing this, it is easy to see why the Jackdaw lead would be a perfect fit for the role. However, he didn’t originally believe the part should be his. “I'd met Jamie Childs on a job I was on before and we got to know each other genuinely,” he explains. “He started to talk to me about this idea, this script that he was writing and when he was finished, he called me up and asked if I’d read it. Then he went, ‘Will you play Jackdaw?’ And I immediately said, ‘Jamie, I don't think I'm the right person for that. Do you know who you should hire? You should hire this person.’ And he was like, ‘No.’ And I was like, ‘No, do you know what? You should hire this person...’ And I kept throwing ideas at him.” Eventually, perhaps after exhausting every other option for Childs, the actor agreed and dove headfirst into the lead, making it implausible that his alternative suggestion could have embodied it so definitively.

“I feel like all of us jumped in because of our belief in Jamie,” he says. “And I think to have your protagonist be someone that is flawed and vulnerable and not your [stereotypical] sort of action hero was such a clever move on his end. It just felt like nothing I'd ever been a part of before. And there was something in that script about someone feeling like there isn't a place where they belong and being thrown into a position of having to care for someone and the tragedy that's gone on with their mum… all of that became a really interesting thing to play around with.”

Building out a character’s story is one of the most exciting parts of the job for Jackson-Cohen. With Jackdaw, this meant lots of meetings and discussions with Childs and co-star Jenna Coleman, who plays his love interest, Bo. “We sat down and hashed out when they were together and how long they were together and what happened and when the last time they saw each other was,” he says. “I think what’s so clever with Jamie is that he doesn't really over-explain, but he drops these pebbles as you go. And I think they're quite effective. It’s like, you know Jack's been away in the army. You don't really know why, but whatever it was, it wasn't good. So it was trying to figure out, 'okay, what was it?' And I don't think you necessarily see it on screen, but for me, my favourite part of it is trying to write out a life for them.”

For Jackson-Cohen, with any story he portrays, getting into character isn’t necessarily about becoming someone else. Rather, it’s about tapping into what’s already within him. “It’s like when you're in a music studio,” he says. “You've got all those dials and it's about turning something up that exists within you that you don't necessarily tap into and turning certain other things down. It's all coming from you.”

“In real life, I rarely get emotional, and I think it's because I have this outlet,” he continues. “There's this space where you can go and it's safe to experience and feel all of this stuff. It’s this weird, playful safety bubble that you get to go off to and play around where, ultimately, it’s real in the moment, but it's not real in your life.”

However, sometimes his body doesn’t register the difference between his own experiences and those of his character. “I played a character in the past who was a heroin addict and that was really hard [to get out of] because you are left with this inherent heaviness of all the stuff that you've created and felt in your head,” he explains. “Or earlier this year, I did a film set around the beginning of the Holocaust. And so you’d come home at the end of the day and you’d know it's not real, but your body can't really tell the difference. So you get these weird sort of hangovers if it's incredibly heavy and emotional. You know it's not real, but your body's playing catch up.”

“The older I get, the more embarrassed I get to say that this is my job because it's such a fucking stupid job. But also, I absolutely love it.” He laughs. “I feel so unbelievably grateful that I get to do this as a job. I always eye-roll when actors say things like, ‘Oh, it's such a privilege,’ but I do feel incredibly grateful because I get to go off and explore these parts of humanity that I would never otherwise.”

While he might endeavour to plot out the history of his characters, Jackson-Cohen’s very much letting his own future write itself. “Part of the exciting thing about being an actor is that you don't really know what's going to come in or what you're going to read that's going to excite you. I want to be surprised. I'd love to work here, in small filmmaking, with first-time directors, telling stories that people may love or hate, anything that's trying to say something a little different.” He pauses. “But until I read it, I won't know.”

Jackdaw is out in UK cinemas now and Wilderness is available to watch on Prime Video!

#oliver jackson-cohen #oliver jackson cohen #jackdaw film #wilderness tv #the world will tremble #interviews #2024 #jackdaw

[river-muse]

So, I've started my Not a Savior, Not a Human series reread, however, currently my access to ao3 is a bit limited, I hope you don't mind if I drop something like a comment here instead? If you'd prefer it up on ao3, I understand and will post it there. For now, Happy New Year to you, and here's notes for the To our desperation:

The growth Vergil did in the background is immense, Dadgil very strong and prominent 10/10 on the softness meter. It is also abundantly clear the twins are, as they always have been, on their immediate and perfectly tuned personal wavelength. Multiple important things are conveyed through body language and gestures alone between the two, and when not - they have an unspoken agreement on child-safe and not-even-between-the-two-safe topics they can and can't cover.

Dante is mostly the goof we know and love, and he's great. Big hat's off to you for clearly assessing him as a big danger still, as the chapter's are from Vergil's POV and the two do have their rivalry and sights trained on each other constantly. I bet the only reason he was up for a fight with Vergil there, was because he saw an easy win in their 'terms over child interaction' negotiations, and really needed to blow off some steam. Love the clear surprise on his face in the morning, when he had to realise that the previous evening was not just wishful thinking, plus the revelation that Vergil trusted him with Nero. That was adorable, it's also probably the source of the later 'you really care about him, he's not just an heir to you' comment - Dante had an easier time believing that Vergil didn't care that much about Nero and so left him with Dante (did he wander if his brother would return), than believing Vergil cared for Nero very very much And he entrusted his beloved son to Dante. Ah, defense mechanisms, defence mechanisms)

Also, again, your Vergil game is precious here. It's not just the softness,

(although his interactions with Nero are all gems, and don't seem out of character at all, as most Dadgil fics tend to do in my opinion, here it's clearly written that Nero is just (1) little window Vergil feels safe enough to show his love through, even his trust and love for his own twin are a scrambled mess in comparison, he needs this)

it's also how he notices every single little thing about their 'intrusion' into Dante's home (that pool table dent, Vergil my man, you are the first to point out any junk and garbage in Dante's home yet this one bothers you). And the 'weaker link' line was the brightest indicator there, even Dante shut up at that one. Not sure if Vergil realised how much of a giveaway that was.

So yeah, this first entry into the series is extremely strong and has a ton of nuance under it, that even without the very promising 'twins learn to communicate using Nero as their little precious middleman' setup, the foundation laid in this chapter just hooks you right up. Amazing job on this, strong begining like this is very hard to nail.

Oh you are ABSOLUTELY allowed to send comments and deep-dive analyses here!! This is going on the Fridge(the AU tag AND a new tag for me so I can read it later and giggle while twirling my hair) because WOW I'm floored at how in depth you went!

I absolutely LOVE writing subtleties in Dante and Vergil interacting with each other because it opens up the space for them to either read the other like an open book or get it wrong but be 100% convinced of what they've assumed which affects their interactions after. As much as they WANT to be brotherly again there's so much sitting between them because of time apart and what's happened. People change over the course of years and they're no exceptions as much as they have iconic personality traits. The flavor just changes but the core stays the same.

I have So Much that I hide between the lines in this series and it's exciting that I'll get to see what you pick up on! Enjoy the rest of your reading, and I'm super excited to see your next comment! Happy new year <3

#Kat's Dadgil AU #Fic Comments #The Fridge(affectionate)

[harenodrawsthings]

Some red pencil Doumans before leaving town

#Hareno's art #fgo #fate grand order #caster of limbo #ashiya douman #fanart #sketch #the Douman drawing experience is agonizing over the hands #because drawing hands but also they have to be big why are they so big #and then there's just the nuances and subtleties it's SO hard to nail #I feel like I'm unsuccessful 95% of the time ahdsfkjds #I'll get it eventually

[imanes]

Wuthering Heights sucks ass, why do people even like that ???

I liked Little Fires Everywhere but it wasn't as good as people claim, why do u hate it?

i thought little fires everywhere was too on the nose to be honest! the novel tries so hard to address a moral conundrum and yet it has no subtlety or creativity. you can tell from the beginning who the author is siding with and who she wants you to like or dislike and i think it’s unbecoming of a fiction work targeted towards adults like i don’t want the author to take my hand and lead me to the conclusion they want to force on me... the characters were flat and caricatural. the story was boring and held no zest or surprise. everything was just so literal but tried really hard to look nuanced and morally gray. since the beginning starts with the end, i was waiting for a plot twist but none ever came which was such a wasted opportunity to make an otherwise mind-numbingly boring story into something that was a little bit more worthwhile and imaginative. anyways long story short if you’re going to place a moral dilemma at the centre of your story and pit two prominent characters against each other, you have to make the conundrum credible as well as nuanced, and your main characters have to be more than caricatures. ALSO, this story was set in the 90s because the whole plot would crumble down to nothing if people had mobile phones... literally just a huge disappointment and not something i would call good literature even though it tries hard to look like it! final petty grievance is that the whole marginal artist moves to suburbs could have been excellent grounds to develop more the class divide aspect of the novel and yet even that is just full of stale takes and half-assed observations. actually i lied here is the final nail on the coffin: the ending was corny as HELL. like i remember reading the final scene thinking “wow can you make this any more cliché...” i’m amazed by the mediocrity of this book... its only redeeming quality is that the prose was highly readable but imo that’s the bare minimum. it’s not the worst book i’ve read but it’s definitely one of the most overhyped books out there in my not so humble opinion

#Anonymous

[ramblingguy54]

Louie & Della:The Tragedy Of Emotional Separation...

Wow, Timephoon certainly went in the direction I was expecting in a number of areas, but its execution genuinely surprised me with how controlled and focused Louie’s anger was toward Della’s “hypocrisy” when she verbally dressed him down for disrupting time itself, by stealing a time machine without realizing the severe consequences of what he’d done or greatly endangering the lives of all his family, basically. Like, I knew Louie would call her out, but the subtlety was beautifully tragic on display here. Goes to show how deeply conflicted Louie is at her for not lashing out severely, but the icy anger in his eyes when Della grounded him really hit me hard. Not to mention, she permanently shut down his business that he’s highly passionate about trying to make a reality, which no doubt easily pissed him off enough to throw a dagger back at her in spiteful attitude.

Before I continue any further, allow me to address the massive red flag that this was going to happen. Beakly called out Della’s flawed parenting style at this episode’s introduction of letting her kids do whatever they please because she believes them all to be sincere, sweet, and honest individuals, like how she and Donald were raised by Scrooge, overall. However, that’s an extremely naive mindset that Beakly civilly criticizes her on, a good couple of times, before things finally get too much for them to handle anymore with the time stream being a total colossal mess. Della, to an extent, is living in a day dream of her’s, where she thinks that parenting is so simple for her kids, but doesn’t realize just how troubled they actually are, yet. Especially for this poor green boy of her’s.

Beakly, you gotta let kids, be kids. Don’t sweat the small stuff!

Is this your parenting strategy or things you read off a bumper sticker?

As things escalate further and further, Della realizes Beakly was on point about toughening up her act as a parent having decided enough is enough, seeing how bad things have gotten at this worst case scenario they’re now in. Everyone is getting teleported to different time periods separately, along with danger everywhere in whats supposed to be their household, a safe haven.

Everything that she had been dreaming about returning to for the past ten years was now being put into danger of being hurt or worse, permanently killed if it escalated to a higher level. Knowing the possibility of it being Louie maybe, no doubt, gave her so much anxiety and stress to boot at the very notion that one of her kids wasn’t an honest/upstanding individual. Something that every parent or future one fears for their child’s future in general around our world.

Where’s your brother?

Where’s Louie!?

Della’s worst nightmares are right in front her now. The culprit behind screwing up everything potentially in her life is standing right there, caught red handed. Who almost could’ve ruined everything she worked so hard to get back into her life again.

Her own son...

Louie!

Della isn’t just mad. She’s beyond furious at Louie and herself, for not seeing the signs earlier that her child was up to no good, which could’ve made her lose the family she was separated from years back, on that fateful night of The Spear Of Selene tragedy. There’s no getting around the heavy consequences of Louie’s actions. No ifs, ands, or buts about it, for it was time for Della to do, like what Donald does, best in raising the kids. Give him the ultimate punishment, by taking away the source of this big problem, Louie Incorporated.

Absolutely adore the focus they gave on Della’s eyes here in the knight suit, as she clearly doesn’t like how hard she’s about to be on Louie, but knows there’s no other choice. Louie screwed up way worse than other attempts at getting rich before. It’s pretty dark, but the reality of it is Louie could’ve indirectly wiped away his family due to screwing around with the complicated laws of time travel. A simple family hug of symbolic forgiveness would only undermine the severity of Louie’s actions, period. Time travel, as shown in Last Christmas, is a dangerous power to mess with. You don’t fuck with it, ever.

I watched your brothers’ blink outta existence because you wanted a short cut to riches!

You took off in that contraption without thinking about the consequences or the people you would hurt!

Let’s take a moment to put ourselves in Louie’s shoes here. While, yes, Della’s obviously 100% right, Louie has always wanted his company to become a an actual thing. To see it taken away so quickly, by the person who you felt abandoned not only this family, but your own emotional needs, scarring you deeply? Yeah, he’s beyond pissed at her in this scene for, in his perspective, having the gull to act high and mighty when she’s no better, as far as Louie’s concerned. Look at all that conflicting anger on this poor kid’s face. He feels like everything is being crushed by someone, who wasn’t there for him and now decides to fire back in the most controlled bitter fashion Louie can possibly give Della Duck. All it takes is one simple line. It’s subtle, effective, and crushes me every time when I’m re-watching it for reference, as I type out this long, detailed, post of mine. Louie, I see so much of myself in you for how often I bottled my emotions up in my childhood, leading to deeply venomous remarks toward others, who don’t deserve it in the long run. I’m trying my damn hardest to fight back from getting teary eyed right now. The mature nuance of this scene is just that brilliant...

I wonder who I got that from...?

You see this face...? That’s the face of all Della’s PTSD, depression, and regrets coming back to haunt her mind in this very moment from her own kid she fought tooth and nail to get home to. Louie saw from “all the angles” to hurt her deeply, choosing this one phrase to crush her, as his own payback for hurting him.

Your little scheme to bypass the present almost cost us our future. This all stops now! 

You are grounded! No schemes, no treasures, and Louie Incorporated is done. Understand!?

Frank, can I just say how much this heartbreaking, subtle, and nuanced episode means to me? Like, Christ, I can see so much of my emotional issues in Louie’s characterization here. It’s eerie, but also powerfully resonating on many layers for me. Timephoon gets nothing from me, but high praise. No one deserves to be spoiled on this powerful first part, kicking off more angst to come. I need to lay down and stare at the ceiling because it’s really got me thinking about my own childhood baggage. I’m truly at a loss for words currently.

This story was a masterpiece for Louie’s troubled emotional state.

#dt spoilers #the angst is very real #congrats frank you've left me speechless and i love you for it #ducktales timephoon! #ducktales spoilers #louie duck #della duck #timephoon #welp that did a number on me #that was powerful af

[vicunaburger]

Admittedly, I’m Hard to See

Fandom: Beetlejuice the Musical Chapters: 13.2/? Pairing: Beetlejuice x OC (Holidae) The Players: Beetlejuice, Lydia Deetz, Holidae Bell Word Count: 2,815 Warnings: E for Adult Content

Notes: LMAO. Jokes on me, this half was longer.

Chapter 13.2 - In Which We Bask in the Company of Wolves

As quick as it had happened, the kiss was broken.

Holidae shrunk back against the arm of the sofa, her bottom lip trembling as though she were about to cry, her fingers falling away from his face and picking at the collar of her sweatshirt anxiously, “I… I d-didn’t… oh that was bad, wasn’t it? I’m sorry. I should have… asked? Or… something… right?”

Much as he liked to brag about his skills at being a full-blown pathological liar, Beetlejuice was actually terrible at hiding his expressions when he was caught off guard. Not many people had been able to surprise him: after being around so long, you start to pick up on common things between humans, little nuances that they all shared in one form or another. Even though he lacked the ability to blush, it was easy to tell he was blushing; the wide, doe-like expression etched into every inch of his face.

She had pulled him to her.

There wasn’t malice behind her touch; no dragging him kicking and screaming around by his tie or coat lapels. Being shoved away in anger or irritation? He had grown numb to that sort of reaction to his closeness, figuring any sort of attention was better than none at all.

But this? Holidae had willingly allowed -wanted- him near her.

Although, by the look on her face, this situation was not going the way he had expected it to go after she made the first move. This was something that needed to be fixed now. His internal insecurities could wait.

“Whoa… hey hey now, what do you have to be sorry for?” Beej took hold of her jaw, squeezing it to encourage stillness. “I’m pretty damn sure I’ve made it more than clear that this - you and me - is something I want. Like. Yesterday. You could pretty much do anything you wanted to me and I would be more than happy to let you. …actually the thought of that is like ridiculously hot.”

The was a noticeable pause as he stopped to focus on the image appearing in his mind: Holidae looming over him in a skintight vinyl getup, one foot pressed against his back to keep him on all fours. Clearing his throat, he made a mental note to suggest that idea for another time. Holidae, not being able to see what was brewing in that mind of his, took his silence for comical effect.

She allowed herself some quiet laughter, “Oh? Just how often have you thought about you and me, huh? Should I be concerned? What if it’s not as good as you expect?”

He shook his head, subtly moving himself further up her body, easing the sudden pressure underneath his boxers. Those near-glowing eyes of his were trained directly on her face, watching for any change in her expression as he slipped his hands under her sweatshirt. Her skin was so damn warm; and he took it as a positive sign to continue his exploration, wanting to know just how hot he could make her become.

“Impossible. But the only way to prove my certainty is to test my logic over and over… you’ll be a good girl and help me with that, won’t you? No fun alone.” Beej was growling low in his throat, lulling her into a daze the way a serpent would its prey.

Holidae’s chest rose and fell with shallow breaths, her muscles twitching with every new point of contact between his hands and her skin. Her brain felt fuzzy as she listened to him, each syllable gliding over her body like smoke. When did it become so hot in the attic? His skin was almost biting cold against her stomach, feeling his sharp claws trace the line underneath her bra.

“…you’re right, it’s no fun alone.” She mumbled, the wanton tone in her voice sounding so foreign. “I can be a very good girl if you let me.”

Just like that, Beetlejuice’s demeanor shifted into something wholly more predatory. There was no subtlety to his movement as he crushed her against his larger form, covering her mouth with her own. Holidae could feel her heart pounding against her rib cage when he roughly pushed her against the arm of the sofa, his nails digging sharply into the flesh on either side of her body. It felt like she had been ‘nicked by razors, stinging as she felt him drag his hands down her body, but in spite of herself… she liked it.

Breathless, she managed to dislodge the two of them from each other, gasping for air as he pulled her sweatshirt up and off of her body.

“I’ve thought about this, ya know. A lot.” He grinned wolfishly, showing rows of sharpened teeth. “But I gotta wonder if you ever did the same.”

Her hands wandered down the side of his torso, holding him at bay for a few moments while he sat up between her legs, “Oh… once or twice… I suppose. It might have crossed my mind.”

“You are the worst liar, babes,” He chuckled, leaning back to let her explore as she pleased. “I bet you had some late nights… laying in that bed of yours and thinking about me. All the things I could do to you.”

Holidae stared unabashedly at him, her hands immediately busying themselves with exploring the soft planes of his chest, taking note of each little imperfection. He wasn’t lean by any standard, but she knew how strong he was; his general frame was stocky, there was a bit of muscle definition to be seen, but there were more areas where he was filled out.

There was a moment where he moved his body away from her touches; when she got too near the scar, ugly and prominently on display. Wisely, she stayed away from that spot for now, her hands settling on a spot just above his hips, squeezing the flesh softly.

“You look like you wanna eat me, Holly-baby,” Beetlejuice laughed, falling backward onto the sofa and pulling her on top of him.

“Maybe I do,” Holidae’s voice was husky and deep, the adjusted positions allowing her to feel the rather large bulge he was sporting now. “Would you really just let me devour you?”

“There’s nothing stopping you. I’m at your mercy, completely helpless in your sexy grasp.” He chuckled, unhooking her bra with precision. “I’m a tough guy, I can take what you dish out.”

She rolled her eyes, straddling him for balance as she sat up and tossed the undergarment in a pile with her sweater, “Well, if you’re going to be so damn romantic about it, how can I resist?”

Beej’s hand traveled up her left side, tracing the claw marks he had made all the way up to her breast. Her face grew warm in a blush that trickled down to her neck as he idly massaged her chest before sitting upright himself, the movement shifting their hips together, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from the girl on top of him.

Humming in approval, the ghost leaned forward and buried his face against the crook of her neck, catching a bit of skin between his teeth. Holidae shivered, lolling her head to the side to allow him room to do as he pleased, tangling her hands in his hair. She could feel the groan he let out against her body, and she rewarded him with a soft tug on his pink-tinted locks.

Beej lavished open-mouthed kisses along her throat, his long tongue flicking at her pulse point, “Why are you so damn quiet? Didn’t peg you for the hush-hush quickie type of girl.”

“Quiet?” Holidae sounded breathy, lulled into laziness by his – surprisingly – gentle attention.

“Figured you’d be louder. Vocal. I wanna hear that pretty voice tear itself apart for me,” He mumbled against her skin, “We’re alone up here, babycakes. I’m gonna make you scream.”

She tugged on his hair sharply, enjoy the hissing gasp that came out of him, “Maybe this just isn’t doing it for me, Lawrence.”

He groaned loudly, bucking his hips up against her, “The fuck it isn’t.”

With effort, he pulled himself away from her, just long enough to snap his fingers at divest them both of their remaining clothing. Holidae wasn’t expecting the sudden nakedness, feeling the blush return to her face, a sudden spark of arousal prickling down her skin and sinking into her stomach. The girl was no virgin, but her sexual encounters were few and far between. She turned her head away from him, feeling not just nude, but bare all of a sudden.

Her arms started to fold across her chest, subtly covering herself, but he moved lightening fast to pull her arms away from her body.

“Nope, nope we are not gonna have any of that shit going on; I have spent too many hours thinking about these tits to just not appreciate them.” Beetlejuice huffed, “Ya get me?”

Holidae nodded, giving a surprised squeak as he rolled the two of them over on the sofa with ease. The furniture creaked loudly in protest, fitting itself to her body shape on the cushions.

Beetlejuice settled himself on top of her, running his hand in a slow path between their bodies, “Oooooh you lied to me, Holidae. Not doing anything for you, eh? You’re goddamn scorching. And fucking soaked. Right here.”

His hand pushed deliberately between her legs, his clawed fingers stroking her without shame or hesitation. Holidae turned her face to the side, trying to muffle the sounds that welled up in her throat, rolling her hips toward his hand. Beej took his free hand and grabbed her jaw, forcing her to look up at him, subtly pressing his hardened cock against her thigh.

“Noooo,” He leaned down and kissed her, his fingers pushing past her folds and deeper into her with ease. “I want to hear every sound you make because of me.”

Another jolt of arousal swept through her; brought to life by the roughness of his movement inside her, and the slight apprehension she felt whenever he put his hands near her neck. She knew those hands could have snapped her neck long ago – they still could – and the fear of it only seemed to heighten the sensations running through her body.

Holidae gave in to Beetlejuice’s request, a soft cry finally releasing itself into the quiet space around them. He rewarded her with another kiss, trailing his lips down to her jaw, and giving a bite to the tender skin. After a bit he slipped his fingers out of her wetness, adjusting her legs apart wide enough for him to move between, using his body to move her hips closer to his own. Grinning wide, he licked his fingers slowly… deliberately showing her his unnatural tongue as it moved between each digit, licking up every last drop of her.

It was embarrassing how much she was trembling against his body; how much she wanted him. He didn’t make her wait long, slowly positioning his cock right at her entrance. She knew that despite how wet she had become, it wasn’t going to be enough to make this a painless encounter. What worried her more than the fear of discomfort was how much she wanted it to hurt. All she wanted was to feel him inside her, to be completely at his mercy.

It was wrong.

Wasn’t it?

“Be a good girl and let me hear you, Holidae.” He whispered, snapping his hips forward and thrusting into her hard.

A shout tore itself from her throat, and her head pressed back against the sofa, her body arching up into his chest. Beej couldn’t hide his utter excitement at hearing her scream for him - because of him. A small voice in the back of his mind told him to hold still, however, knowing he might have gone a little too rough for their first time together.

“If… if you don’t start moving… I’ll exorcise you myself.” Holidae’s command was heavy with lust, her legs wrapping around his waist, pulling him in deeper.

Beetlejuice groaned loudly next to her ear, pulling out nearly all the way before thrusting back into her even harder. He set a rough, but steady, pace; keeping their bodies as close as he could manage as though he were afraid to let go of her. Holidae locked her legs around him, mimicking the harshness of his movement against her, meeting him thrust for thrust once she found his rhythm.

Her hands found their way into his hair, and she pulled him in for a deep kiss, moaning against his mouth. She knew she wouldn’t last much longer if he kept at it the way he was, already feeling the muscles in her abdomen coiling tightly like a spring. He didn’t seem in better condition, his thrusts becoming a little more erratic and shallow.

“Fuck,” Beej mumbled to himself more than her, concentration etched on his features, slowing down his pace. “Goddamn, Holly… If I would’a known… I would have fucked you in the graveyard that day. All mine now… all mine.”

He looked so disheveled above her; his hair sticking to the damp skin on his forehead above his brow, muscles stiff as he struggled to keep control of himself. Just seeing him like that – knowing that she had a hand in it – was enough to finally tip Holidae over the edge she was desperate to reach. She cried out his name in a sharp sound, voice cracking in a way that surprised her.

It was a desperate, wanting sound.

Almost helpless.

Sounds that were far more primal – predatory – came out of him and he sunk his teeth into the junction of her neck and shoulder. She knew he had pierced the skin, a small drop of blood running down her collarbone as he pulled away. Her body shuddered deeply around him, riding out wave after wave of pleasure until they begun to subside; her skin feeling as though she had been doused in ice water despite how hot she was to the touch.

Beetlejuice had slowed himself down during the height of her release, but resumed his brutal pace shortly after. He was almost frantic in those last moments, mumbling words she couldn’t make out against her skin, squeezing her impossibly tight as he finally spilled into her with few erratic thrusts. Holidae moaned softly, feeling impossibly full of him in that moment, holding him tight against her body as though he would vanish if she let go for an instant.

For what seemed like hours, neither of them moved.

Beej was the first to break their contact, slowly easing off of her and sitting himself up on the sofa next to her, brushing his damp hair away from his forehead. Conjuring his favored cigarettes, he deeply inhaled the smoke, letting it seep out of his mouth like a contented dragon. Holidae shivered, feeling the cool air against the thin layer of sweat upon her skin, her body screaming with aches she hadn’t felt in a long time.

She was unnerved by his silence, having expected him to make some lewd comment about his own performance, or hers. Was she expected to leave after a certain period of time? Slink back to her room down the stairs and not speak of the encounter again? Her previous partners had not been the most affectionate after sex, and she harbored no illusions of a  demon like him being any different.

Holidae began slowly easing herself up to sitting, her body protesting with even the smallest movement.

Immediately, an arm reached out and dragged her over to lay against his side, “Going somewhere, my little breather?”

She felt insanely embarrassed now, “You weren’t talking to me, so I assumed-.”

“I'm fucking worn out because of you, baby, you gotta give me a minute. Take it as a compliment.” He huffed, shifting himself up to rest his chin on the top of her head, holding the cigarette between his teeth.

“Oh,” Holidae eased herself against his body, willing herself to relax into the sudden affectionate gesture.

“Lemme just tell you: worth the wait. Have to savor it for a while, you know? Plus, I'm hardly the type to kick a little hellcat like you out of bed. I wouldn’t be a gentleman if I pulled shit like that.” He laughed, drawing nonsensical shapes on her back with his fingers.

“So you want me here to save your gentlemanly reputation?” The pout was clear in her voice.

“No, I want you here because I just do.” His fingers stopped moving, his hand flattening out against her skin, “Is that a problem?”

Holidae shook her head, “No, I'm just surprised.”

“Mmm, had me worried there for a second.” Beetlejuice hummed in the back of his throat, “You’re mine now, and I'm not letting you out of my sight.”

“Oh, well, in that case I suppose I should stay.” She replied softly. “I won’t go anywhere.”

There was a very long silence that followed, and she had thought he’d fallen asleep in the wake of his exhaustion, like she was tempted to do herself.

Before she gave into the gentle pull of sleep, Beej’s voice broke through the quiet, “No, you won’t.”

Writing Tags: @mr-geuse @paxenera @leiasolo77 @go-commander-kim @ashemspirit @asriells

#beetlejuice x oc #beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice broadway #beetlejuice fanfiction #beetlejuice x self insert #writing time

[babynursekaitlan]

Dear Baby Nurse

A Letter to the Baby Nurse

Right now, there is a baby nurse who is searching online and deep inside for an answer. There is a brand new member of the profession who is questioning her calling. There is a newly-minted graduate who wonders how school seemed to teach her everything and nothing all at the same time. There is a greener-than-grass new hire who is praying that she doesn’t kill somebody at work tomorrow, and wonders if she already did yesterday.

Dearest baby nurse, don’t let this scary new world drag you down. You’re going to have moments when you are sitting on a toilet seat for far too long, probably for the first time in your entire shift, and question why you even decided to become a nurse in the first place. That’s okay.

You’re going to have days — many of them — when you plop down in your car after leaving work two hours later than anticipated; and you’re going to turn off the radio; and you’re going to roll down the windows; and you’re going to cry the most painful and ugly cry. That’s okay.

You’re going to have shifts where your head is spinning and your hands are shaking and your brain is thinking faster than your fingers can type. That’s okay.

You’re going to have moments when you clean more bodily fluids in one 12-hour day than an average person might in a lifetime. You’re going to feel that — sometimes — you’re the only person on the entire unit, because everyone around you is just as busy as you are. That’s okay.

You’re going to have times when patients yell at you for something you didn’t know (that perhaps you should have). They will complain about you to anyone that might listen. They may even become so frustrated with their care that they threaten to leave. And this is going to bother the hell out of you. That’s okay.

You’re gonna listen for 20 minutes and still not hear a damn murmur. That’s okay.

You’re going to have moments when you feel like something “just isn’t right” with the patient in your care. You won’t have enough experience as a frame of reference for what may be happening, or why. You’re probably going to feel helpless in these moments — it’s a “tip of the tongue” phenomenon to the highest degree. That’s okay.

You’re going to feel devastated the first time a veteran nurse yells at you — even more so when their reaction is for something nit-picky and non-essential. You’re going to mumble something unsavory about them under your breath. That’s okay.

You’re going to call a doctor to clarify an order, and she’s going to complain. She’s going to want answers, details, vital signs, and a picture of what is happening with your patient, and you’re going to word-vomit something that probably makes very little sense to an angry cardiologist at 3 a.m. That’s okay.

You’re going to walk into a room expecting to pass your morning medications and come to find your patient unresponsive. Maybe she’s stopped breathing. Perhaps she’s lost a pulse. Either way, you’re going to bring forward everything you learned in every class, clinical, and scenario — and forget how to do any of it. You’re going to scream for help. You’re going to look like a deer in headlights. And you’re going to wonder, “When the hell am I ever going to be able to be as good as they are?” That’s okay.

You’re going to lose that patient, on an unexpected shift, and in an unexpected way. You’re going to think it was your fault. You’re going to be riddled with guilt and feel ashamed of how you reacted. You’re going to replay that scenario in your head over and over again, and every time wonder why you didn’t see it coming. You can’t always see it coming. You can’t always be the hero. And that’s okay.

Because someday you will be.

Someday you’ll understand the subtleties and nuances that no one can teach you except for time Herself.

Someday you’ll be able to balance the full-fledged mountain emergencies with the miniature mole-hill ones.

Someday you’re going to address a patient or family member who is frustrated with a sense of firm yet compassionate care, and will know how to redirect their emotions.

Someday you will call a doctor, and she will thank you for keeping such a close eye on whatever concern you’ve already handled.

Someday you’re going to finally take a lunch break, and it will actually be during lunchtime.

Someday you’re going to do chest compressions or inject medications or ventilate a patient, and your paralyzing fear will be replaced by sheer adrenaline.

Someday, somebody is going to die on your watch — but whether it’s through blood, sweat, and heroics or a quiet and accepted end — you will have made a difference in the journey of that patient and his or her loved ones.

And while some days you may still feel like a hamster on a wheel, going through the motions just to stay afloat — someday you will realize that you are not the one sinking and needing to be saved. Rather, you’ve grown into a life raft for another baby nurse, insecure and unaware of all of her untapped potential.

Someday you will understand that the nursing profession is perhaps the hardest of them all, but in so many different ways, the most rewarding.

And someday you will stand up for yourself; stand up for your patients; and stand up to the barriers that impact your highest capacity to care — this day will remind you why you trudged through every tear, scream, and exasperated sigh.

So do not give up, baby nurse: new to the world in which nurses beget nurses; still questioning why nothing ever ends up like the texts books might have said. No matter how bad it feels — no matter how hard it seems — always turn to the nurses who can teach you that one can have a brilliant mind and a beautiful soul; one can be funny when things feel too serious; one can be tough as nails and still be softened by the circumstances; one can make mistakes and still maintain integrity. Stand your ground, baby nurse; ask questions; study hard; prioritize what matters; own up when you don’t know; and don’t let anyone beat you down — especially that little voice in your own head. If you allow yourself to do it, you’ll be amazed by how quickly a baby nurse can grow.

Lovingly cheering you on, A Former Baby Nurse

By Shannon Keith 

#nursing

[poeticpathetic-blog]

07/11/19: swampy 2.0

When I was walking home from uni today, I started tearing up in that ugly sorta way where the tears won’t quite commit to coming out ‘cause your body knows you’re in public. I was missing my dog so much - and just generally exhausted by the reality of life. Such is the feeling of trying to get a degree, have a fun social life, have hobbies and ignore the crushing weight of the impending heat death of the universe all at once. 21st century life! Something about that feeling makes me need my dog more than any other time. He doesn’t know that I have deadlines coming out of my ass or that the end of the world is closer and more tangible than it has ever been. He just knows: eat. sleep. head scratches.

Somewhere between the gates of university and the strange building I am calling home this year, I started writing what would become this post in my head. I didn’t really know what it was for; I just find I am always turning my thoughts into poetry or prose in some way or other. I can’t remember the last time I just thought without adding adjectives and metaphors here and there to make it pretty. I am purple verse’s little bitch. This time though, it wasn’t really coming out clear enough to be a poem, nor was it rambly enough to just be something I scribbled down in my journal at 2am. I wanted to put it out there. So I am. 

However, in deciding to do so, I found myself exploring the memory of an old blog I recalled making, way back when I was about fifteen or so. I spent almost an hour logging into old email addresses and getting locked out of accounts for getting passwords wrong before I finally managed to break into this account. To my disappointment, there is no posts. There is one draft, though, and it’s a mixture of just pure and simple CRINGE and enough pure misery to make me bite all my nails into stubs again. Its always strange looking back on things I wrote or said back then. I don’t remember it much; not the specific emotions and nuances of thought anyway. I only remember the blackness of it all. I know that me back then would probably be surprised to see that I even made it here. I don’t know whether to feel happy myself or sad for her, so I just have to laugh at my cringey writing style and pretend that the deeper subtleties of my teenage emotions do not dawn upon me. 

It mostly brings back a lifelong question that I am not sure I have ever been able to answer: are things better than they used to be? 

In some ways, I want to say no. My lows are so low. I’m so much angrier than I used to be. I’ve unlocked so many little boxes in my head that used to be closed and so many things I used to be able to stomach now keep me up at night. And its all amplified since I turned twenty. I can’t write it all off anymore. Its not a teenage phase or a fucking temporary hormone imbalance; its just how my brain is and, I can only assume, how it is always going to be.

But...I guess I’m dealing with that. I have learned to identify what I feel. I don’t wake up in the morning, not knowing one day from the next. And equally that pain and sadness just seem to be part of me, I’ve learned that passion and love take up equal parts of my soul and my brain. As much as there are days when I could punch a hole through a wall, there are days when I want to kiss every inch of this earth and cry because life is so beautiful. And as much as some would say that’s not healthy either, its what makes it all worth doing for me. As long as I get to love the people and things around me, what else matters? 

Overall, I think I’d say I’m definitely on the up and up. When I read that old blog post and especially some of my old journal entries from around the same time, I see a girl who completely defined herself by sadness, trauma and the fact that she did not plan on seeing through very much of her life. When she woke up every day, her first thought was always “how sad am I today?”, not knowing that the question itself was reminding her to keep playing that same role and to sink even further into it. I don’t know what exactly pulled me out of it, but I know that I love myself now more than I ever have. Even if it doesn’t always seem like enough, I feel capable of pulling myself up every time I start slipping again. And I trust the wonderful people I call my friends to help if I ever don’t think I can do it myself. I can imagine having a future most days, even though I know getting there is still going to be hard. 

As sad as reading my old post made me, it mostly made me feel proud that I have gotten here. Sometimes I can’t believe it, that I really made it to university and that I haven’t completely fallen apart yet. (Disregarding the complete mess that was the first half of my first year...) But here I am! Doing that! Every day! I am sitting on perfect attendance for this semester! I have done my reading for tomorrow! I have not thought about killing myself today!!!!!!!!!!!

Still miss my fucking dog though. 

- Swampy :) (Becca)

[ernursestat]

A Letter to a baby nurse

(I seen this and had to share,

I have been an ED nurse for almost 26 years, it has been an amazing career, It is not easy but more than worth it! Just remember we were ALL BABY NURSES AT ONE TIME!!!

A LETTER TO THE BABY NURSE

Right now, there is a baby nurse who is searching online and deep inside for an answer. There is a brand new member of the profession who is questioning her calling. There is a newly-minted graduate who wonders how school seemed to teach her everything and nothing all at the same time. There is a greener-than-grass new hire who is praying that she doesn’t kill somebody at work tomorrow, and wonders if she already did yesterday.

Dearest baby nurse, don’t let this scary new world drag you down. You’re going to have moments when you are sitting on a toilet seat for far too long, probably for the first time in your entire shift, and question why you even decided to become a nurse in the first place. That’s okay.

You’re going to have days — many of them — when you plop down in your car after leaving work two hours later than anticipated; and you’re going to turn off the radio; and you’re going to roll down the windows; and you’re going to cry the most painful and ugly cry. That’s okay.

You’re going to have shifts where your head is spinning and your hands are shaking and your brain is thinking faster than your fingers can type. That’s okay.

You’re going to have moments when you clean more bodily fluids in one 12-hour day than an average person might in a lifetime. You’re going to feel that — sometimes — you’re the only person on the entire unit, because everyone around you is just as busy as you are. That’s okay.

You’re going to have times when patients yell at you for something you didn’t know (that perhaps you should have). They will complain about you to anyone that might listen. They may even become so frustrated with their care that they threaten to leave. And this is going to bother the hell out of you. That’s okay.

You’re gonna listen for 20 minutes and still not hear a damn murmur. That’s okay.

You’re going to have moments when you feel like something “just isn’t right” with the patient in your care. You won’t have enough experience as a frame of reference for what may be happening, or why. You’re probably going to feel helpless in these moments — it’s a “tip of the tongue” phenomenon to the highest degree. That’s okay.

You’re going to feel devastated the first time a veteran nurse yells at you — even more so when their reaction is for something nit-picky and non-essential. You’re going to mumble something unsavory about them under your breath. That’s okay.

You’re going to call a doctor to clarify an order, and she’s going to complain. She’s going to want answers, details, vital signs, and a picture of what is happening with your patient, and you’re going to word-vomit something that probably makes very little sense to an angry cardiologist at 3 a.m. That’s okay.

You’re going to walk into a room expecting to pass your morning medications and come to find your patient unresponsive. Maybe she’s stopped breathing. Perhaps she’s lost a pulse. Either way, you’re going to bring forward everything you learned in every class, clinical, and scenario — and forget how to do any of it. You’re going to scream for help. You’re going to look like a deer in headlights. And you’re going to wonder, “When the hell am I ever going to be able to be as good as they are?” That’s okay.

You’re going to lose that patient, on an unexpected shift, and in an unexpected way. You’re going to think it was your fault. You’re going to be riddled with guilt and feel ashamed of how you reacted. You’re going to replay that scenario in your head over and over again, and every time wonder why you didn’t see it coming. You can’t always see it coming. You can’t always be the hero. And that’s okay.

Because someday you will be.

Someday you’ll understand the subtleties and nuances that no one can teach you except for time Herself.

Someday you’ll be able to balance the full-fledged mountain emergencies with the miniature mole-hill ones.

Someday you’re going to address a patient or family member who is frustrated with a sense of firm yet compassionate care, and will know how to redirect their emotions.

Someday you will call a doctor, and she will thank you for keeping such a close eye on whatever concern you’ve already handled.

Someday you’re going to finally take a lunch break, and it will actually be during lunchtime.

Someday you’re going to do chest compressions or inject medications or ventilate a patient, and your paralyzing fear will be replaced by sheer adrenaline.

Someday, somebody is going to die on your watch — but whether it’s through blood, sweat, and heroics or a quiet and accepted end — you will have made a difference in the journey of that patient and his or her loved ones.

And while some days you may still feel like a hamster on a wheel, going through the motions just to stay afloat — someday you will realize that you are not the one sinking and needing to be saved. Rather, you’ve grown into a life raft for another baby nurse, insecure and unaware of all of her untapped potential.

Someday you will understand that the nursing profession is perhaps the hardest of them all, but in so many different ways, the most rewarding.

And someday you will stand up for yourself; stand up for your patients; and stand up to the barriers that impact your highest capacity to care — this day will remind you why you trudged through every tear, scream, and exasperated sigh.

So do not give up, baby nurse: new to the world in which nurses beget nurses; still questioning why nothing ever ends up like the texts books might have said. No matter how bad it feels — no matter how hard it seems — always turn to the nurses who can teach you that one can have a brilliant mind and a beautiful soul; one can be funny when things feel too serious; one can be tough as nails and still be softened by the circumstances; one can make mistakes and still maintain integrity. Stand your ground, baby nurse; ask questions; study hard; prioritize what matters; own up when you don’t know; and don’t let anyone beat you down — especially that little voice in your own head. If you allow yourself to do it, you’ll be amazed by how quickly a baby nurse can grow.

Lovingly cheering you on,

A Former Baby Nurse

#ERNURSE #ERNURSES #TRAUMANURSE #TRAUMAJUNKY

#BCEN

#nurselife #nursing #registered nurse #ernurse

[yawmanzo]

Yaws Personal Reflection on Touka Kirishima

I'd like to start of with this quote by Touka in the novels. 

“What the hell do you know? It's all because I can't eat, because I could become a target at any time, all because I'm a ghoul! No matter how much I try, there's a wall I can never jump over, and there's happiness I can never have. But I'm still hanging on to life. Despite it all”

Followed by this from part 1.  

And of course this from Yomo.

As you can see there’s a pattern, and if I wanted to I could indulge you with a fuckton more Touka quotes/panels to further exemplify these, but I digress because I ramble too much and words alone aren’t enough to truly encapsulate everything in its entirety😒.

Alrighty then, let’s get this long rambling journey started! I dub thee:

“Strength in weakness and Weakness in strength”

What makes Touka such an interesting character for me in terms of her writing is that there’s a lot of nuances to her that make her so fascinating to read. Because of these elements, I feel as though leads to a general misconception/misunderstanding of her character in favor of either completely overlooking or simply dismissing them and marking them as purely simplistic and well… not important/uninteresting. I for one believe that there lies a profound complex simplicity and simple complexity of sorts to a lot of these nuances that can be very easy to miss, but are of crucial note to consider, most especially the subtleties to her growth in :re alongside many important thematic elements of the story, other characters and herself.

Adjacent with this is her own personality, decisiveness , selflessness and immense sheer mental fortitude in the face of adversity; living while losing things, moving forward with the little they have, in the hopes of gaining as little or as much as they can towards a peaceful world where such a thing is virtually taboo for ghouls and humans trapped in the bird cage.

Additionally is her journey being the opposite to Kaneki, wherein he became more ghoul like than human in pursuit of strength (since human is normally denoted as weak). Meanwhile Touka underwent an opposite journey in which she became more human like than ghoul, and there’s a fine dichotomy/conflict for balance between the two that we see with the tribulations faced in the story. In other words strength in weakness (Ghoul- human) and weakness in strength (Human-ghoul) and the various connotations. 

Moreover is the conflict she herself feels as a ghoul in viewing herself as a monster, thus wanting to be more human, 

even when others view her in a different light in conjunction with the earlier harsh actions she would make for the sake of her survival and of others.

We even see how she saves Kaneki numerous times when she didn't really have any obligation to do so in the beginning after considering his own plight in the world as a half ghoul with no place to belong to via Yoshimuras explanation. It’s due to her caring nature that on the surface comes off as very “hard” due to the exterior she puts up as a result of the life she’s lived.

Special mention to when he almost ate Hide after fighting Nishki in his starving state and her stepping in, 

thus saving the both of them, something that made Hide very grateful towards her for. (And Hide being hype wing man since chapter 1)

And although her threatening to kill Hide and Kimi in relation to their human relations with Kaneki and Nishki comes across as very cruel, its also due to the volatile position that they have in human society as ghouls for security and safety. 

For all intents of purposes, their safety takes preference, and we see how this does change in her being able to trust them with their secret, because it’s a risky one that could lead to them losing everything. 

Which as we know, that level of trust didn't exactly work out too well for her and Ayato as little kids that forced them to fend for themselves in the world.

There are several instances where she does come across as real vicious and as Kaneki says “scary”, but also very caring in her own way during many stages of part 1 when he needed someone the most in the world, which is something he remains eternally grateful to her for in his life. She provided that foundation for him in the ghoul world. 

As Uta mentions, she's continuously walking a very tight rope between both worlds and there's a constant struggle faced with everything that she deals with in which she simply cannot afford even the tiniest of slips.

What Touka has wanted from the beginning is a chance at a normal peaceful life, away from the violent lifestyle she was forced into as a ghoul, and all the battles and killings she has had to partake in.

Her envy for the life that humans live, her hatred for herself in being a ghoul yet longing for peace and understanding between both species are ones that continuously drive her character forward. ([x]- @encase great explanation of this!)

It’s always been the characters of a set case between her and Kaneki as stated earlier. Kaneki a former human was forced into the ghoul world yet was already living a violent and miserable human lifestyle. While Touka lived a harsh ghoul life which initially had somewhat of a human like upbringing with Arata and Ayato, before that life was lost. There's also her curiosity in wanting to learn more and be a part of the human world. (@wishes-upon-dreams has lots of good novel shots!)

These are two symbolic thematic attributes of Tokyo Ghoul between these two alone, and all the complications that come with it.

Another worthy line from her in the novels is wherein she and Kaneki make human food for Touka to give to her friend Yoriko after a misunderstanding they had. 

Touka remarks on Kaneki attempting to taste the food whilst being aware that he's no longer a full human anymore. Kaneki admits that in the moment that fact was lost on him due to how the food looked and of course him wistfully remembering being able to eat and taste all these types of foods. She comments on which scenario is worse between the two: one who's lost an ability, or one who never had the ability to begin with. 

“Who has it worse- someone who was never equipped with a function, or someone who had it and lost it?”

AKA Kaneki losing his ability to eat human food, and Touka never having the ability to eat human food. 

Well at least her pregnancy later on gave that nice little cake development parallel.

So... a lot tend to dismiss her as too weak or bland of a character, or how her relationship with Kaneki stripped away her own “independent” character. In other words, her role of importance got reduced. Which… yeah there were times that her appearances got sidelined and so forth in us not seeing her as much. But I'll mention that briefly later with regards to Ishidas writing style with some of his characters.

Firstly, with the “independence” part… a characters relations they have with others doesn’t make them weak that goes concurrently with their very own distinct development. (obviously depending on the circumstances mind you and how its established)

In fact the narrative in TG shows how taking things up solely alone leads to more suffering and increased burden that ultimately comes crashing down towards said character without the bonds they form with others. (Eg Kanekis main flaw that Touka opposes with selfish V selfless that she explicitly exposes him for in part 1 with the bridge scene) Note that there are semblances that both invoke and affect each with in a complementary/similar yet opposing way that I've talked about before in the Touken reflection.

Kaneki takes everyone's burdens by himself in order to protect them, but he's not really the selfless martyr he thinks he is. They never asked for his protection, in fact they want to help and be with him, but he's terrified of losing them, thus opting to shoulder all their burdens. He pushed them away and avoided them in order to protect them, AKA Hide and Touka. In doing so it hurts both sides immensely in not being able to really save the other.

Touka can not only see a bit of Arata and Ayato (soldier of Aogiri) in Kaneki with regards to the whole pursuit of power and strength by waging war and advancing violence to protect, but also a bit of herself in some her own actions done to protect those she cares about that they themselves did not ask for. She hits the nail right on the coffin with him because she knows how he is, because she has that affect on him.

This is seen in the novels to an extent with her fighting off students that made fun of Yoriko. Yoriko mentioned that she didn't want Touka to do that for her even though it hurt her. The situation simply just made her more sad, along with Yorikos own lack of self worth in feeling like she was a burden to Touka.

When Touka partakes in her revenge against Mado and the doves for killing Ryouko in order to protect Hinami 

a similar thing happens (which wasn't all violence as seen by her trying to give misinformation to the CCG and stir attention away from them). 

Hinami laments that she never wanted revenge, but was rather just sad. In both instances Touka doesn't understand why her protecting them through those means was wrong at first, but we see how it affects her in each case with regards to the feelings of those she cares about.

Touka mentions Ayatos reluctance in not wanting to learn more about human society and wanting to safely protect him when it's the same human society that led to their parents demise and one that is systematically established to kill them . After all, humans are just food to them as ghouls, and ghouls are monsters to them right?

With these genuinely selfless actions and ideals, she realized how they pushed the people she cared about. Actually it's quite sad how Touka is always getting abandoned by those she cares about in her life, such as Hikari,Arata,Ayato,Kaneki, Hinami, Yoshimura, Irimi, Koma, Yoriko etc etc. Obviously each of these throughout her life have different factors to them through her own actions and those of others that led to being left alone and or tragically losing them.

Along with this is generally her struggle in communicating/expressing her true feelings towards others through words alone which can often lead to ironic misunderstandings in the moment that she regrets many times.  

(which is a trait she shares with Yomo and Ayato).  

“I'm really bad at sorting out my feelings, and although I try to put up a good front, I'm incredibly immature, and I hate that about myself”-Touka

Man the novels really are such gems with extra insight to her character. In essence you can show how she does have good intentions. She really doesn't want to lose more of her loved ones and be alone, unless it involves letting go in certain situations and considerations. 

I’m not necessarily justifying her relapse in actions here, but you can see just how pissed off she got with Kanekis tragic heroism vendetta

,that and well the man straight up lied about not leaving her alone. (thanks Hide for the chin tip). 

Yes Kaneki does genuinely want to “protect” his loved ones, 

but he's doing it all wrong in never even considering their own feelings in regard to his whole quest and them being unable to help him, hence being selfish and not wanting to be alone himself. As we see, it’s something he eventually realizes due to Touka’s effect on him. 

(which is another thing that both share, fear of being alone that they express differently yet similarly) Cool how the whole rabbit motif is used to exemplify this too, since they can die from loneliness due to the strong relationship bonds they form.

Doing everything alone is a constant no no in TG. Cough Kenny boy, rely on your loved ones, they love you. Though we see how and why he and many others in the story become that way with the whole “you're weak and lack of ability” perception for power and strength. It’s very understandable for many of these characters and it’s quite profound with the many layers to it aside from just the physical that at times come across as very contradictory. “Weakness in strength and strength in weakness”

Tangent, but this also goes in conjunction with Uries development in overcoming that very same flaw he had himself to where he realized it faster than Kaneki did.  

And of course the whole point of the dragon arc to show that people, in other words everyone (ghouls and humans) HAVING to rely on each other to combat a common threat and achieve coexistence when needed to even with the flawed prejudiced nature of the human world towards ghoul kind. 

Anyways, back to Touka chan.

I really do not believe Touka to be a “weak” character. In fact she’s very strong in her own way since there’s many different types of “strength” and complexities to many of these characters. One who’s strength does not solely rely on her physical abilities or quick thinking/hard work (I mean hell she caught up to years of school at a late age almost gearing up to go to Kamii university which is for proper smart students whilst working at Ainteku). And of course her curiosity on learning more about the world with regards to humans and ghouls that she later instilled in a rather practical sentimental manner as an “advisory” figure.

Ya’ll remember when she was basically hood AF in the streets with that underground ghoul dialect?

By the way holy hell she can speak two languages, that's pretty dope. Except for those skills in Japanese literature... lol that’s just a Rip😂

Point being there are many different testaments of complexity and strength she possess as her own character away from just “the physical”.

Growth

Touka’s character matures and grows a lot in :re becoming more passive, cool headed and wiser as the manager of :re. Like when I first read :re bruh, I was always like “woah this is Touka now? Damn she's changed so much” (and got more thicc)  

even with some of her distinct traits still being there… Like her blunt and direct 0 fucks teasing sass, I love me some sass. She definitely lived up to Aintekus legacy and then some with Yoshimuras influence.

She valued the importance of peacekeeping as manager of :re, and its implied that her, Yomo and Nishki performed those roles, similar to how Yoshimura did with the bits of informants they had from others as well. 

She became not just more empathetic but generally more sympathetic to an extent, understanding and kind towards others most especially those that wronged her, those she cares about and those she herself has hurt in the past.  We see this time and time again. 

Few examples include her giving Shinohara the flowers 

tying into her forgiveness arc with Arata, the violent CCG perpetual cycle in general, and also got tied in with Juuzou

which got referenced as a point of contention for their characters during their encounter underground.

We see this with Shuu and her explanation for why cafe :re exists as an homage to Ainteku for humans and for ghouls to feel safe in (the spiritual home of coexistence) , as well as a place for Kaneki to return home to, as Yoshimura once wished for with Eto.

Touka prioritizes his well being and happiness over hers, even with the flawed situation wherein they both care about Kaneki in their own way and have differing viewpoints.

Shuu admits to Touka that she’s right in him being an egotist, alongside seeing her point of view when he fights Haise. 

Touka also admits that she understands where Shuu is coming from, because she does desire for Kaneki to be with them.

Both parties raise valid points in their own way since they do genuinely care, however the difference in intent further shows that selfless nature of Touka in waiting for Kaneki to come back when HE needs to, not by forcing him when Haise had the whole Haise/Kaneki memory personality conflict that he needed to resolve himself that we see in the Rosewald and Cochlea arcs.

It’s also interesting to note how Kaneki in part 1 distanced himself to protect her from the ghoul world whilst being aware that she as a ghoul can never truly live with just being solely in the human world and the dangers that it possesses in it’s own right towards ghouls.

In :re she means for him not be brought back into the ghoul world due to his suffering in it for so long in order to protect his well being and happiness. 

Yet the human world he lives in the CCG is also categorized by violence, suffering and conflict that Haise/Kaneki gets further thrown into. Plus we see how Shuu himself feels about that world due to what happened with his own family in their battle against CCG and Kaneki/Haise being a ghoul investigator. Both cases show how genuine and flawed these motives are, yet also painting the feelings they have in caring for the other in their own distinct ways that's not as straightforward black and white. “Selfish V Selfless”

She forgives her brother Ayato because she understood him to an extent with his faults (not that she ever harbored hatred for him in the first place because she loves him). 

Touka sees why he did the things he did because. He wanted to become stronger in Aogiri and protect her, even though he hurt her, as Kaneki exposed to him in their fight. Cue 103 god damn bones.

“Does it hurt? I think Touka chan experienced more pain than that”- Kaneki

Yeah nah... That’s just tough😂 Later on we see how Ayato took this to heart by taking on the Black Rabbit persona in order to lure CCG investigators away from Touka, thus clearing her tracks.

With this she goes to assure him with sincerity in directing him in the right path moving forward despite everything, thus mending their complicated sibling relationship in their own Tsundere Kirishima way.

She gives Kaneki his will to live through her loyal love, influence and support spanning years and years of waiting with the undying faith she possesses towards those she cares about and to him. Not that she had to herself anyway since Kaneki always held her on such a high level of importance in his life throughout the whole story with ALL his personalities and their whole evolutionary dynamic as a whole.

 That's another thing about her, that fierce faith is truly special despite the instances it isn’t rewarded.

 I mean when this man was on the verge of losing everything and giving in on his plan to die in style, the thought of her and everyone else dying kept him going along with the Hide inner monologue during the Arima fight. 

“It may not be stylish, but live”

She allows Goat and the lost ghouls (including the Aogiri children) to use cafe :re as their safety hideout away from CCG, that has CCG members themselves (AKA 0 squad). Once again reinforcing that spiritual home of coexistence.

Side note- another cool tidbit is seeing Toukas natural maternal instincts with children, something we saw bits of with Hinami and Ayato in part 1 as well as the novels. 

Her taking care of the ghoul children with Hinami and reading to them were always super adorable to see in also foreshadowing her as a mother and just generally a very kind caring person which she's always been at heart.

Next big demonstration of her growth we see is the convo with Amon in which they both come to a mutual understanding of the circumstances that forced their actions in such a cruel world of kill or be killed.

alongside her offering advice to him about going to see Akira in relation to her feelings about Kaneki.

Then there’s the Akira convo with Hinami: which remains one of my favorites indications of how much she’s developed from part 1 (also because of how similar Touka and Akira are in many ways... I love em). Chapter 120 was one of the first major steps towards seeing how these characters can break the human/ghoul violent perpetual cycle with general empathy and even sympathy to an extent as difficult as it may be. To instill hope into their world, where all they knew was hopeless continuous bloodshed.

Being able to confront Akira directly with what happened, not being focused on continuing the cycle of revenge.

Going on to showcase some semblance of being able to relate with her own experiences and of their fathers in painting the cruel intricate nature of both sides in regards to the actions they take- be it survival, revenge, power to protect, or all the above. Thus slowly shifting Akira’s ingrained beliefs and perspective to it’s core.

It's interesting how Ishida mentioned inspiration from a war documentary applied in the reconciliation between Akira and Hinami , and Touka was the one that initiated that through her development and teachings from others and her own life experiences. 

(Shout to Sen for the translations! @kenkamishiro)

Mind you this was a VERY complicated and tough situation wherein those wounds aren’t somehow magically healed between them, but at the very least the continuous cycle of vengeance was subverted in order to move forward.

She's often seen as a very forgiving person towards others in :re, too forgiving at times actually, which is one of her biggest strengths and weaknesses. Or that she doesn't “fight hard” enough and let's go too easily.  But one can also see why she's like that, mainly due to the priorities she sets and well… she ain't got time to dwell on things like revenge, war and violence anymore even if it's completely warranted and justified. She's seen and experienced first hand what that does to herself and others time and time again. She knows the script and prioritizes moving forward away from that, even if it hurts her and them having to constantly pick and choose in the process.  

As long as a situation of conflict can be resolved in any way, they'll continue to live and survive in the world. Mental fortitude is a big strength of hers when it comes to pressing forward in the face of adversity.

It’s even more notable to notice this development when looking back at the violent, angsty and tragic harsh life she lived as a ghoul with Ayato from childhood towards their teens years. After all it's a kill or be killed world, one where the strong take from the weak, and the weak are the ones that perish.

That and how viciously she lashed out at others, herself and the world through violence and rage due to that bloody ghoul lifestyle. The hard harsh exterior, soft kind interior continuously interchanged, intertwined and crossed several thresholds.

Highkey nice heavy parallel to Hikari and Arata though. As Yomo mentioned, Hikari used to be quite savage back when she was younger until she calmed down later on in life with her family, and where Arata was a really kind pacifist type ghoul, her death led to him later becoming a “monster” out of revenge that resulting in his downfall. In many ways also applying to both Touka and Kaneki with their own unique divergences. And of course the parallels between Ayato and Yomo in regards to their respective pursuits for strength and revenge. 

“The world is power, let’s use power to decide who’s superior. Careless idiot. You are weak. So you lose. Just like father.”- Ayato

“Who is the strongest? I fucking am”- Kaneki

“...I want to become strong”- Yomo

“I also need to get stronger”- Touka

“Strength in weakness and weakness in strength”

“Strength” and “power” as a whole is extremely intricate, with all the different types of it in its many variations/forms that come with their own respective advantages and disadvantages.

So many of these different attributes and aspects we see to be something that many characters in the story come to admire from Touka as a person, a ghoul , sister, friend, wife and manager of :re/ fellow leader of GOAT along with Kaneki and right hand man Shuu.

Sure Ishida could have definitely utilized and actually showcased more scenes with her doing things in which we could see a lot of this development/moments onscreen, especially the first half of :re (as a matter of fact I’d be on the first train to destination MORE TOUKA STUFF AND WRITING EMPHASIS PLEASE)

But one can also deduce the salient impact of her smaller scale actions/motivations that attribute to the plot, many characters and the very essence of the story thematically and even that of her character. A phrase I always use to describe that belief is “Yo Touka is doing bits” which basically means how those moments may seem really minuscule at first, but are actually very meaningful.

This also includes her evolving personality from part 1 as a consequence of the melancholic and painful stoic adverse nature of the world that genuinely did affect her for many years on end. There’s also kind of parallel with her really. Second half of part 1 Touka scenes weren’t as much in favor of Kaneki and other characters development, but they were very impactful in their own moments, in contrast to the first half of :re with a similar sentiment.

Plus I mean well, one can see how much Ishida struggled with writing his main cast of characters in :re with part 1 characters and side characters with some getting more development/ specific writing priority over others in different fashions alongside MANY plot points and concepts. That and yes several plot points and character interactions with her did get dropped in the story/didn't get as much development on screen as they should have, which mind you isn't just exclusive to her character alone like in the case of several others. One little missed opportunity is the Yoriko reunion that didn't happen on screen which was really unfortunate as that would have been so emotional to see for them both, (and me since I kept waiting for it)

But at least she saw her wedding with Bujin to make sure she was ok 

and them reuniting offscreen during the end time skip was good. Ichika loving aunty Yorikos bread and Mucchans apples is a blessing, so thank goodness for that. 

And yes there's a lot of other stuff that could be mentioned as well that would have been great to see onscreen, but eh what can you do.

While many favor her character in part 1, which is fair because my god she was fire AF🔥

it’s also important to notice all the subtle factors that led to her personality and growth shifting the way it did from a teenager to young adult whilst still maintaining her distinct “Touka” traits (then again I love her in everything so😅). That’s the whole point of it, to show how people change in life, what would be the point if she remained the exact same as part 1 in terms of writing?

Again, different strokes for different folks, but I personally appreciate both depictions and find them very fascinating in their own rights especially with their flaws that continuously kept me glued to her character even with the discrepancies in screen time.

In other words, I find her journey very interesting to read and interpret, particularly since there’s a lot of writing cues to her in favor of being designated in deciphering rather than explicitly stated in all lines of text and dialogue. Perhaps that’s the main issue with some aside from the whole her not being shown as much? The fact that a lot of the writing is nuanced in several ways and not as right in your face with text panels/ inner monologues and inner character thoughts emphasized and fleshed out? Either way, those visual cues/elements of show don’t tell and at times “less equals more” being implemented in the story are ones that always make me so passionate about her character. To ascertain her thoughts, feelings, actions and motivations  when the narrative doesn’t state it as right in your face but rather deduced through the already established notions and elements that are set/keep getting set.

I have no idea if I’m making sense😑

But yeah that’s how I see it. Like something as simple as her just not saying anything, or words being omitted in favor of emphasis being placed on subtle visual representation in a panel just makes me want to always see more of her and decipher her thoughts without her even having to state all of them outwardly. This conveyance without the need of many words (which don’t get me wrong would be greatly appreciated in many instances!) doesn’t really hinder her as boring to me, rather very intriguing, but again each to their own you know?

Continuing on her desire to be with those she loves and not be alone, in other words to gain as much as she can with the little available while losing things. She told Ayato the same sentiment which can ESPECIALLY be meant for Kaneki too.

“Rely on others for a change”

An aspect of her strength stems from her ability and strong personality in which she carries herself when all the odds are against her, and when she herself is very limited to what she can achieve by herself alone in the world, yet continues to fight either way. In other words… she’s realistic in seeing the world as it is with all ones flawed strengths and weaknesses in the face of the tribulations they face and the choices they must make for better or for worse, positive and negative. It also shows the priorities she places in fighting reactively, in other words when she HAS to or in regards to those she cares about where she would rather avoid using violence to solve conflicts in :re unless pressed to do so in response to something or when pressed.

Eg. Saving Shuu from CCG investigators that were on his ass. 

The Kirishima family and Banjou squad Cochlea fights to save Hinami thanks to Kaneki’s aid.

 Versus the Arima squad members 

Sneaky sister save as mask 33.

and versus Arima himself (which honestly that's just a Rip for the whole family). 

Being aided by Eto to push on forwards.

Fighting off Special class Kyoko Aura, Mougan and other CCG members with the other ghouls namely Yomo, Banjou, his squad and Hinami when they themselves were already fatigued. And of course protecting Ayato

showcasing her emerging two wings with that based Hikari Yomo lightning ⚡⚡ 

Later combining forces with Kaneki and 0 squad to escape.

Then there's her fight against Mutsuki that endangered not just her and Kanekis lives, but led to the destruction of :re. The whole shit underground wherein they got attacked whilst already starved and with little resources, forcing retaliation to survive. 

And of course operation save Kenny and Tokyo with dragon. (Title drop)

That doesn’t necessarily make her “weak”, or one who doesn't do much fighting because she's a damsel, particularly when she’s PREGNANT from 128 to the 170s. She fights only when pushed to do so.

Again in 123-124 she held her own against Mutsuki (who’s very strong) when her cafe got destroyed by the oggai and kept her cool, suppressing her emotions when taunted with Yorikos fake “fate” in an attempt to get her all triggered (once more showing her development in :re as part 1 Touka would have definitely lashed out in justified rage)

We see she's clearly hurt by this in 124 despite her trying desperately to subvert that fact and not showcase that much emotion when Kaneki asks if she's ok. She's obviously not as another home/dream of hers got crushed, and its conveyed so effectively yet subdued without her even saying much via her vulnerable posture and her switching the subject to Hide in order to deal with her own feelings about Yoriko, but also that of how Kaneki felt about both Hide and Touka in this painful situation.

Both distanced themselves from their friends in order to protect them, yet yearned desperately to see them. Kaneki did the same with Touka and Hide, Touka did the same with Yoriko and Haise/Kaneki, and as was revealed via talking about Hide- was something he couldn't do anything about. Because if he thought about it, he'd just be consumed by the desire to see them again. Cue Akon “Lonely, I'm mister lonely” and them rooting like rabbits.

You can see how without even saying anything through her facial expressions how Touka feels,

She’s able to connect everything in regards to how they mutually feel the same about this with their friends and their own feelings for each other. Both were terrified of the other dying. 

Which of course led to them finally being able to close that gap of loneliness and pain in which they made love and consummated their relationship. 

Despite all the fuckery of the world around them, all the war that they were in, for just one moment they were finally able to experience happiness in the darkness that both had craved for so long with each other, and it speaks volumes to one of the most important and emotionally resonate symbolic messages of the series. Breaking the barrier between both worlds.

Ghoul-Human

Hell speaking about the unplanned pregnancy, let’s go back to the human esc journey. The narrative has explicitly explained the dangers of human food consumption for ghouls since the very beginning.

In her fight with Ayato, it’s clear how this type of lifestyle has considerably weakened her full ghoul potential in reference to her one Ukaku wing 

and lack of that cold ghoul intensity she used to have as Shuu states.

As mentioned before, Ayato finds her wanting to be part of human society (that denotes weakness) to be idiotic and dangerous due to what happened with their parents and Arata’s upbringing.

Leading his pursuit for ghoul strength and hatred towards humans in Aogiri (which does change through his own development later on)

Yomo also criticized this during their training via her eating Yorikos food to fit in so much at school (novels and part 1) 

and the Itori talk to Kaneki about the failures of ghoul-human hybrids which also gets referenced later with the flawed half humans.  

Later we see Touka ask Kaneki about how Eto was kept alive with Yoshimura a ghoul father and Ukina a human mother. The difference of course is the  reverse in the situation for a ghoul mother.

And of course Mutsuki’s taunting during their second big fight where Touka was at a clear disadvantage.

SHE KNOWS human food is bad for her body due to its weakening effect. It's been a reoccurring thing for her ever since her upbringing with Arata and what influenced her curiosity in wanting to understand humans and the world they live in. Simultaneously it’s almost like she herself is fighting against that known fact and still trying desperately to fit into some kind of normal human esc style of life as a ghoul when she knows she realistically can't.

To be able to enjoy things like cake, burgers and so forth when her ghoul body prohibits this. After all as ghouls they have no choice but to eat humans. Kaneki himself is even baffled by the lengths she would go just to uphold Yorikos feelings over her own. I mean she could easily just lie and not eat the food at all right? 

And yet she still goes the extra mile to not only protect Yorikos feelings whilst endangering herself because she cares so much, but also fight against the notion of her being a ghoul to an almost foolish extent.

It’s why the whole “don’t die, push through me, live” as she’s forcing herself to eat human food to try save her unborn child Ichika is so powerful in contrast to the strong will by Ukina (a human) who actually can digest and cannibalize human meat for her hybrid child Eto. 

For a ghoul to eat human food, is essentially like hell, and if she didn't, her body would naturally consume the foetus, furthermore adding to the perception of her being a monster by taking her own child's life. Her chance at becoming a mother and starting a family would be lost. That's why she’s willing to do anything to give her child even the faintest 1% chance of survival, regardless of how it may hurt and weaken her or how slim the possibilities of success are. [x- great commentary by @mamasaiko and @lilacflamesss !)

That’s why her becoming pregnant didn’t hinder her character to me, it restricted her full potential absolutely, but it also presented the opportunity to put her into extremely constrained dangerous scenarios wherein her immense fortitude and willpower would be tested to its limits with regards to her ability to always make choices, for better or for worse. Again it’s that strength we see numerous characters admire from her.  The hybrid pregnancy is something that should be a very positive thing and very well is as with the whole hope and symbolic aspect of the series for some semblance of light in the darkness. 

It presented the main core message of coexistence in breaking away from the tragic cycle that several characters looked towards, yet it was also one due to situation/wrong timing  that added more struggles and tribulations to be faced. THAT’S THE CONFLICTING DILEMMA that was so damn enthralling and stressful AF to bear witness to!

Her being able to make tough choices time and time again whether she likes them or not. The underground alone had her being forced to lead the ghouls (including children) out of danger and leave her loved ones in order to protect herself, her unborn child and the lives of those ghouls. From Yomo, 

to 0 squad, 

to Hinami all in quick succession… SHE DOESN’T WANT to leave her loved ones, she hates doing that with them having to protect her and being abandoned. But in the situation it’s something she HAS to do by trusting them with that faith. In fact we see in her situation with Hinami how desperately she tries to aid her even with her weakened condition by getting all pissed off. 

It was only when Hinami told her to go protect the children did she finally make that choice.

We don't even see her clouded facial expression or her thoughts, their blocked, which further adds the front she's trying so hard to put in order to remain strong and keep going even though we know it's absolutely killing her inside. She tries to reach out Hinami, but she knows she can't waste more time in hesitating with her decision given the situation, because if she did… well they'd all get fucked.

It's also quite poignant to note the arcs of both here. Hinami herself is still by all means a child of sorts, or rather a young adult protecting her older sister figure, as Touka did for her in part 1 and the novels. 

Hinami's character development is one for strength and self worth, and it was depicted very beautifully yet sad with her monologue about her own perceived weakness she expressed to Ayato and how she viewed Touka and Kaneki in being a burden to them, hence seeking strength by joining Aogiri.

Hinami was able to fight side by side with Touka in her weakened condition, both watching each others backs.

Which is something that makes Touka proud in how much Hinami has grown, yet it also adds to the whole “living while losing things” in that situation in trusting her strength against such volatile odds in order to press forwards with her own survival, that of her unborn child and that of the other helpless ghouls when she hates doing so but has to do so.  Like Ryouko did for Hinami. 

Special mention is Hinamis admiration for her stemming all the way from the beginning “strong, delicate, beautiful”. You did wonderfully in becoming all that and more with your development too Hina👏

When she sees Yorikos letter, SHE WANTS TO SAVE HER and you can see how shocked and pained she is her just by her facial expression

but given Goats very volatile position and Kaneki “dying” at the time, she simply can’t as it would jeopardize their whole organization, and thus she chooses her family, Kaneki and their child when Kaneki himself struggles with his own indecisiveness that could have truly been a trap to lure them into action not based on fortified assurance.

This is another instance Kaneki greatly admires in contrast to his flaw in being indecisive and choosing.

The circumstance itself places this cruel obligation on her to make those choices, but she makes them either way because she has to, otherwise as we’ve seen in TG, failure in making a choice leads to more tragedy. Shit even MAKING choice or choosing not to MAKE a choice can still very well result in that. She COULD have very well elected to save Yoriko, similar to how they went to save Hinami in cochlea (with Ayato, Yomo and Banjou squad) or save Kaneki when he get got captured by Aogiri 

in contrast to how she elected to save Kaneki in the dragon arc (joining forces with CCG and the ghouls). These are all separate choices due to different circumstances and considerations that she makes within those emotional situations, and I love the little line in 148 that she says to Nishki. 

“What should I do?”

She contemplates all the factors and elements available in making a choice. Can they with just the ghouls save Kaneki and Tokyo at large? How do they do that in the first place with the limited resources they have? All she’s known is loss, so... should they just carry on living with that for their own survival when Tokyo is in danger? [x]

Like… there's a lot of unspoken suffering that she was going through in that whole arc alone. Her very own husband and father of their child who called her a monster in the beginning,

became one himself in order to protect them and see her again by devouring most of Tokyo consisting of humans, ghouls and children when they were all on the brink… 

That's tough... and really fucked up. But given the pushed situation (that sure could have been subverted prior), a choice had to be made once again in which they'd face the consequences either way.

Whilst I’ve said that a defining trait of hers is that decisiveness and ability to choose, she herself always contemplates her choices and the consequences thereof even when they are purely emotionally driven. Should I do this? Should I do that? What if I had done this? What if I had done that? In fact that’s the thing about TG in general with MANY characters.  As a matter of fact it applies to the whole cast in general really.

The choices they make, and how it’s not always about whether they are “right” or “wrong” but about how they’re made and how one continues pushing forward from said choice. “Forever choosing, forever being chosen”

And of course the dilemma between one's desire for even the tiniest semblance of happiness opposed to the tough predicament they face and all the outcomes that results from it that prohibit such. 

“Why do things have to be like this?”

Her breakdown at the end of part 1 added greatly to that during the Ainteku raid where they lost everything. She wanted to go help everyone, she didn't want to lose them, yet Yomo stopped her because they had to choose not to in order for them to keep on living with Yoshimura, Irimi and Komas sacrifice, otherwise it would have all been for naught. “Live while losing things”

Kaneki chose to go fight in order to aid/protect everyone because he was tired of not being able to do anything anymore. As a result, it led to his subsequent “death” and tragedy (with the exception of buying time for Irima and Koma v Arima) 

In fact he ponders what if he had chosen to stay away and gone with Touka and Yomo. Perhaps he'd have been able to work with them in the new cafe?

Perhaps if Touka and Yomo went to fight with Kaneki they'd make a difference? Perhaps if Kaneki didn't go all alone in 143 of :re the situation may have played out differently in contrast to how Furuta exposed him?

The answer is yes, no, maybe, maybe not. No one knows, and it's easy to continuously contemplate every single possibility and theoretical outcome. All that matters is how they have to make those tough choices and live with them, no matter the cost.

Also the fact that we only rarely see her true vulnerable, insecure and visible emotions other then when she's like... angry or something is another trait I find very interesting. Because when we do, it’s impactful and hits home just how much she tends to internalize within herself. In other words, the front she puts on. Her always suppressing her emotions with that strong mental fortitude speaks volumes of the struggles she continuously undergoes internally and externally. 

That emotional breakdown was just building bruh.

The fact that we don’t have to be told exactly what she’s thinking or how she’s feeling, but are rather shown how she’s trying to hold herself together even with her face either turned away from the reader or her turning her back in several panel illustrations denotes so many melancholic elements to be interpreted within the story.

Another side note- some are actually quite funny and aesthetically appealing to me. She just looks so tired/bored and like... done with everything with those half lidded eyes that convey so much (Idk I just relate heavy AF with that😂) 

Hence always looking for those subtle details in her character that add so many layers. Ooo also the times when we get to see both her eyes (true feelings), that's super cool.

Relying on the strength of others is not weak in wanting to help protect them. I mean nothing is wrong at all in wanting to become stronger by yourself for the sake of others, but going completely solo and shouldering all those burdens with just one's own strength is completely detrimental to the highest degree.

In fact her fighting with that pregnant condition when she shouldn’t have and being able to fend for herself before said condition along with her Ukaku stamina issues, stress, lack of sleep and starving inevitably prohibited her full potential is in itself also inspiring. Like dude wtf she's out here fighting with all those disadvantaged restrictions that endanger her? That's badass. Being faced with the predicament of WHAT TO DO versus WHAT ONE CAN DO with limited means. And yet with all that, she still dug Kaneki from dragon by herself after fending off Mutsuki 

 and the dragon clones 

with the timely aid of Urie, Saiko. Even Mutsuki, the one she fought prior and tried to reach out to peacefully given the dire situation and not their own personal differences.

Symbolically the wife of Kaneki, and children of Haise Sasaki came together to save him in that instance with the foreshadowing of the Qs and dragon.

Touka was key to the dragon arc in general. That was the point of the whole arc, further showing the fruits of her development as well, combining strength with others, both humans and ghouls. All elements needed each other to succeed. There’s a reason Hide went out to look for Touka in the ghoul camp. 

Not to mention how crucially important these two are throughout the narrative in reference to the fool's journey namely the Magician (Hide) and the High Priestess (Touka) to the fool (Kaneki)

“The Magician and High Priestess are absolutely equal in importance and value. Each is necessary for balance” [x]

He himself was extremely vital in gathering all the different sides and information for the pieces to be in place such as Marude, Urie, Kimi with the CCG, recruiting Amon and Akira, and of course Touka with the ghouls. 

Touka leading the ghouls there after being ignited by Shuus emotional fire speech

and all the assurance to combine their strength and efforts with the CCG was a true indication of that. Great stuff by all 3 Aces (Touka, Hide, Shuu) right there. [nice catch! @kanekikenunot]

Touka coming up with the ring idea was of extreme importance, in fact it was the very idea that kick started the whole operation in the first place!

Beforehand was her translating the underground ghoul dialect thanks to Ayatos adventure underground 

in order to form the pieces necessary to ignite the operation by condensing the seemingly impossible search for Kaneki to being more focused and fortified to the point that they could track him down with Shuu and Mirimos influence with the metal detectors.

Worthy note is the perception she emits to Hide in always not being able to save Kaneki and him always saving her. We know she has saved him numerous times physically, emotionally, and mentally and the same with Kaneki to her, but it's important to note how she mentions “this time”. 

It's like despite all the times they've saved each other with all those different aspects, something always caused them to get separated or to face more and more suffering painting all the times as somewhat futile. And this time, given the monster he's become, she means to truly save him at all costs no matter what.

And my god, chapter 160 is one of my favorites due to the parallel with 145 where Kaneki lost control becoming dragon with it having no dialogue whatsoever in favor of pure visual storytelling.

You could just feel the sheer immense strain, pressure, rampant despair and pain of Touka desperately trying to save her husband.

A Silent Scream is what I call these two chapters that I talked about before, wherein the omission of words paints the whole “a picture is worth a thousand words”. 

Her breakdown was so emotionally resonate with how we hardly see her like that. Referencing back to the visuals without having to be shown lines of text or dialogue. Something as simple as her finding Kanekis hand grasping her parents ring (the bond that ties their own marriage together) in pressing forward like a centipede with Touka as his sole motivation and strength, is definitely something that destroys her in which you can just hear the horrifying scream she emits.

Because she's not just reminded of her impending failure with the current situation, but also the tragedy that befell her own parents, and the cycle of revenge she was a part of with Mado  that aided in her ability to empathize with Akira and Amon.  [good eye! @dreamofcentipedes]

It's these little tiny details that are always there, and while sure some may be a stretch in providing more depth/ over reaching, they remain considerations that add so much. For a moment she ponders if the tragic cycle is something they'll never be able to break free from, whether it's something that will always keep them trapped in the birdcage, unable to fly towards a clear blue sky, something she always looks towards in many panel illustrations. [x]

And yet despite it all she never gave up, her faith kept pushing her forwards to continue the mission. And she was able to succeed. Her efforts and choices were not in vain.

Yo... scope this little line here.. “Don't push yourself ok”

Touka… Dude… We don't deserve you honestly. Finna say that after all the fuckery you just went through in pushing yourself... smh

Still out here not resting waiting for your man's to wake up and be ok. 

Top tier I swear...(PLS GET SOME SLEEP) 

Which then shows another instance of that non verbal communication during her embrace with Kaneki. Within that one swift motion and the “thump” sound effect presumably of their hearts beating, she conveyed all she needed to without having to say anything.

Thank goodness she was finally able to rest by the end and chill with Saiko is best Saiko, because honestly… She needed that. 

And although she had to continue waiting (god how long has she had to that ?) for her loved ones to return, 

that fierce faith was fortunately rewarded with Ayato and Kaneki returning in the end.

Like I said, one of the many reasons I admire Toukas strength so much is that it strays away from the typical norm that would usually warrant a narrative tool in making one “weaker” via the ghoul-human journey just for the sake of it or for her to be “helpless”.

“Go, you are not just some onlooker, nor are you powerless. You just have other things to protect right?”-Yomo

And I just… really want to root for her to overcome all the odds that are placed in her and everyone else's paths in whatever way they can. “Strength in weakness, weakness in strength”

It’s not exactly an underdog story classification, but instead to me points out an interesting conflict between ones seemingly futile (at the time given the high failure rate) yet deepest desires/ wishes for some semblance of hopeful happiness in the world.  And ones need to survive by any limited means often being forced to make hard to impossible choices accordingly so to protect and live with the few means available to them that they can achieve by themselves alone, and or with that of others.

Bruh… I could go on rambling forever and I'd still be missing several points😓 that many others have mentioned too. But essentially her undying love, selflessness, compassion, faith, and strength are qualities that have always stood out to me in their own right since the beginning until the very end. And in general it’s just truly satisfying that by the end all her suffering, waiting and perseverance paid off.  Although it was never explicitly stated, many (including myself) speculate that she did open up another coffee shop by the end, which would be a really nice ribbon bow touch to that as well. 3rd times the charm?

She was finally to gain the normal life that she never thought possible with the combined efforts of both sides, the worlds that Kaneki found a place in. Being able to peacefully live with her family, husband, baby girl Ichika (with another boyo on the way) and loved ones.

Her wish for happiness was granted. 

Personally Toukas character journey has truly been a pleasure to witness over over the course of the series, and it’s one that has forever put her in such a special place in my heart, compelling flaws and all😄

#tokyo ghoul #touka kirishima #kirishima touka #tg meta #tg #tg ramblings #tg novels #tokyo ghoul theory #tgre #tokyo ghoul meta #tokyo ghoul re meta #touken #kanetou #tokyo ghoul re #ken kaneki #haise sasaki #hideyoshi nagachika #ayato kirishima #hinami fueguchi #renji yomo #tsukiyama shuu #arata kirishima #hikari kirishima #my god this got long #this is what happens when one gets carried away #yawsreflection

[vampyrekat]

oh my god yes for glenya on that last post about good girl/bad guy ships????? bc anya totally makes gleb want to be better than the role he’s in. he never knew why his life didn’t quite fit right and anya comes along and just personifies what could change for the better. she’s an utter rejection of everything he’s been raised to think was good- she’s irreverent, brave, proud, and hot headed. not to mention a total snack. and anya herself, well, she just has a thing for a guy in uniform.

[in reference to this post by @qqueenofhades who’s opinions and fic-writing I admire greatly.]

The good girl/bad boy character dynamic is truly a tale as old as time, and like qqueenofhades said, it’s hard to get right, but when it’s right it’s very right. Gleb’s on the lighter end of the spectrum for these ships, but the elements show up anyway, and it’s so interesting. Though I disagree with the idea that Anya’s just into the uniform - in fact I’d say she’s very not into the uniform - but I’ll get to that in a minute.

Something mentioned that very much applies to glenya is that Anya never asks or tells Gleb to change; he does it all on his own. She’s his catalyst, true, and what pushes him from someone who’s questioning his place in the new order (the “sword and shield of the revolution”) to someone who completely rejects it (”not [his] father’s son after all”), but she doesn’t force him. She doesn’t try to. The closest she comes to actually telling him to change is challenging him to put himself in her shoes in the confrontation, when - as is obvious to the audience - he’s already unable to go through with hurting her. This final defiance is simply yet another nail in the coffin, but Gleb’s already changed by that point.

Another great point qqueenofhades brought up: that these ships can’t ever cross a boundary that has to be handwaved because ~Romance~, which a lot of these types of ship do. Gleb doesn’t cross those lines; he’s aware of their positions and never even tells her he cares about her, despite reworking his entire identity because of her. I love a subtle jealousy plot as much as the next woman but there is no “but she should be with me!” to any of Gleb’s lines. It’s all genuine concern for Anya’s well-being mixed in with a well-meaning crush, even if Gleb is truly crap at communicating that.

(One interesting thing to me is that Gleb is a lot more subtle in how he expresses things than Anya is. Max von Essen annotated his script on the line “They would kill you without hesitation” by underlining “they” and pointing out that Gleb doesn’t say “I” there; he’s not telling her what he’ll do, just what will naturally happen as a consequence of her actions. It’s an interesting nuance to have picked up on, and makes their interactions more interesting, because Anya wouldn’t know subtlety if it bought her dinner.)

And everything you said is correct, though I think something I adore about the dynamic that isn’t talked about enough is that Anya is not only the antithesis of his worldview but also the epitome of it. Gleb believes in a future for Russia that’s filled with people like this determined, hard-working street sweeper, and he’s absolutely not wrong about her having those traits, it’s just that she is also the symbol of the old Russia by birth and those two things can coexist, as he learns. Speaking of learning….

[The ship] has to stimulate real and compelling character growth on both their parts. The GG learns that the world is more complicated than simple Good and Evil and that people can do things for a variety of objectively noble reasons but with bad methods. The BB, of course, has to have a come to Jesus moment and substantially atone for his past shit.

Like, exactly. Just, exactly. This isn’t so much in canon but in the subtext and potential, but Anya’s a terribly naive character when it comes to consequences and big-picture thinking. Gleb pushes her to realize that her actions have consequences beyond herself and even for herself, and Anya pushes him to realize that not everything can be heroes triumphant and villains slaughtered. He has to realize that his father and, by extension, his entire worldview were incorrect, and he does. They both push each other to move beyond their old childhood selves and view the world as a messy, complex thing, and it’s so interesting to watch characters do that, and that’s why I think so many of us got attached. Like qqueenofhades said,

…most people don’t read/watch fiction for bleak, hopeless, cynical narratives where everyone dies and evil wins and nobody is possible/capable of change. We like fiction because it explores these ideas in encapsulated arcs with themes and tropes and recognizable points of development, and we like it to have a fulfilling or at least somewhat happy ending. We want to see characters move along a spectrum to become better people, and to feel represented in that struggle.

As for Anya, why wouldn’t she like someone who’s open and honest and changes his opinions based on her actions? Someone who tells her the simple truth and doesn’t play games or hold it over her head? Yes, the situation surrounding it all is complex, and that’s why she isn’t interested at first - but especially as she grows more confident in who she is and he grows more shaken, there’s a sense of mutual respect and almost kindred spirits there. Especially when they’re parting, because so much goes unsaid and yet understood. She’d be intrigued by it, at the very least.

[GG/BB ships] transfer the power and agency to the woman, enable substantial character development for the man in a way that real-life men are unfortunately almost never pushed to do, and are a subversion of the still-prevalent idea that controlling someone’s life is any kind of expression of real or functional adult love.Maybe the BB tries (characters are human and flawed, they should be allowed to make mistakes) and the GG shoots that shit down super quick…

I’m … not sure I need to say much more about that quote. I think it speaks for itself in regards to Anastasia. Gleb listens and knows he can’t control her, and for a character that’s playing into Galatea tropes as hard as Anya, that’s good and healthy for her. He tries to control her actions, and she proceeds to do exactly what she was planning anyway, and he finds himself unable to even carry out the consequences he warned her about. As qqueenofhades said, it’s a bit of a power-inversion too; a tiny street-sweeper-turned-princess completely undoes the officer and has him crying on his knees while she stands there, confident in her identity and self, completely flipped from their first meeting? It’s a powerful image and a powerful dynamic.

So, in summary, they’re both total snacks with emotional depth who push each other to develop and rethink their worldviews. They both make the other person reassess things they’ve always thought, and as Gleb revises his past and Anya realizes her simple dream to have a family is going to have collateral damage, there’s a lot of potential for them to connect and relate to each other while adding depth.

And that’s why we’re all in shipper hell.

#anonymous #ask #kat answers #kat writes an essay more like #glenya shipping intensifies #IT'S SUCH A RICH CONCEPT OKAY #I CANNOT GET OVER HOW MUCH POTENTIAL THERE IS IN THESE TWO FLAWED PEOPLE #FLAWED IN DIFFERENT WAYS BUT FLAWED NEVERTHELESS #well flawed when Anya's written/acted by good people but STILL #(stiiiiiiiiiiiiiill) #I had to stop myself from using 'interesting' every other sentence #but also it's accurate #interesting and rich and with lots of space to explore

[letterboxdisdown]

Gone Girl (2014)

04/01/2022

Dir. David Fincher

*Insert Chasing Amy joke here*

Let me begin by saying I had no idea David Fincher has directed all these so called great cinema blockbusters, like Se7en, Fight Club or The Social Network; the movies every ones swears by. Like movies I'd think would be over rated. I'm going to have to say this one was a bit overrated compared something like Se7en or Fight Club, but in no way was this a bad movie. I found this movie to be quite engaging.

I really do love me some white nonsense

This movie features some of the scummiest characters, and it was hard to root for them. Yeah Ben Affleck was a dirtbag, and I had pretty much worked out that he was being framed so I couldn't really root for Rosamund Pike's Amy by the time the second act rolled around. I cannot bring myself to like a character who is just basking in the glory of white privilege. Amy Elliott is a terrible person, but Rosamund Pike's portrayal of the character is so good. She never plays it like the woman is crazy, but with this calm intensity that I really loved. Back to her privilege, I like that she is shown to be this smart, calculating woman but once she is out in the boonies she really has no street smarts. It really hones in she is only capable if she is in her element: white and upper-class.

I am not familiar with American phone numbers but I think the hotline has 1 too many digits

The worst part of this movie is that it's really long. The second half drags on for a while; for instance, Amy calls in the shed but it takes like 10 minutes movie time for the cops to get there. Like I thought the cops just found it after she called but it was offscreen or something. Doesn't matter. What bothered me the most was Neil Patrick Harris's character, Desi. The narrative tells us he's a stalker, but the characters who say that are unreliable. When he does begin to play a major role, he plays his controlling behaviour a little too subtle. I personally could not tell if he was being possessive or just a nice guy who does not realize he is smothering. They never do confirm if he was stalking her (but now that I think about it the letters he sent are a bit of a red flag..hmm). Either way, I just ended pitying him, and reading how blatant his possessive behavior was in the book, subtlety was not the right choice in my opinion.

I do appreciate that Gillian Flynn ended up being the screenwriter of the film. After watching 2 movie adaptations then reading how these novels were written, it seems to me I should actually check these books out. Nevertheless, it was cool to see most if not all the novel beats were still intact so I applaud Flynn for being able to bring her own vision to the big screen. I love the way the 2 leads play their parts as unreliable POVs, which keeps the suspense up. If I read correctly, they really amped up the violence in this movie (and that scene was really really crazy, good job Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails). At times I found myself thinking both, Amy Elliott is pretty empowering, taking agency for her life and failed marriage after years of putting up with a scumbag, to, this is misogynistic for suggesting this woman to be this manipulative (and Amy herself is pretty misogynistic. The way she speaks about other women with that air of superiority). The nuanced take of femininity is so refreshing, even if I watched it almost a decade late. Obviously the other big theme is how the film portrays the media and society's obsession with the missing white female. And for Amy to be pulling on all these strings, she really was a brilliant character. I hate her and I'm scared of her but....

This look is so jarring she was so good.

Rating: 7/10

#good #david fincher #2014 #i should make something very clear Amy Elliott is a bad person we do not stan #Gone Girl

[aion-rsa]

Cruella: Why Mark Strong Was ‘Fascinated’ to Work With Emma Stone

https://ift.tt/2SCjvU8

Disney’s new film Cruella is dominated by two exceptional performances from Emma Stone and Emma Thompson. The former plays the title character, an ambitious fashion designer who morphs into one of Disney’s most infamous villains, while the latter plays the designer who hires Cruella (in her Estella persona) and then tries to destroy her.

While the two Emmas drive the story and take full command of the screen, lurking around the edges is John, played by Mark Strong, the valet to Thompson’s Baroness who doesn’t say all that much. But even his stoic presence eventually reveals a character with more nuance and layers to him than the standard supervillain henchman.

Strong often plays antagonists and heroes with a certain level of complexity to them, whether it’s the haunted assassin Prideaux in Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, the well-meaning but ultimately corrupt Sinestro in Green Lantern, CIA analyst George Panetta in Zero Dark Thirty, the sinister Lord Blackwood in Sherlock Holmes, or Dr. Sivana in 2019’s Shazam!

Strong himself is affable and charming in person (or at least on Zoom), marking quite a difference from the darker or more enigmatic characters he often portrays. We spoke with the London-born actor about working with the two Emmas, his own memories of the 1970s London punk and fashion scene that serves as the backdrop for Cruella, his own short career as a punk rocker, and more.

Den of Geek: John the valet is, without giving too much away about him, the silent, but watchful type. What was your take on the character and your approach to him?

Mark Strong: He’s exactly that. Silent, watchful. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Craig Gillespie, the director, basically said to me, “I want the character to have presence.” He said, “There’s not a lot of dialogue for him, certainly not in the first half of the movie, but I want him to be present. I want people to wonder who this guy is, what he’s thinking, what’s happening, whose side is he on? And so that when there is a revelation later on in the movie, it pays off.”

I also think he was playing off the fact that I’ve played a lot of villains. So you just assume coming into the movie that I’m going to be the bad guy. And although he’s the henchman of the Baroness, who is the evil character in the movie, as we learn, as the film goes on, things aren’t all what they seem.

He’s got layers to him.

He certainly has. Yeah. Still waters run deep.

As an actor, when you don’t necessarily have a lot of dialogue, what are the tools you use to make the audience feel his presence?

Well, you’re very reliant on the director then. And when I had the meetings with Craig [Gillespie], I hadn’t actually initially read the script, because it hadn’t been made available to me. But I wanted to meet him because I loved Lars and the Real Girl and I, Tonya, his past films. And I think he wanted to meet me. So we just got together for a chat really at first.

But he said, “I will make sure the guy has presence.” So I was reliant totally on him to film moments of John thinking whatever he might be thinking. And then finally to use them in the edit. And I think he used pretty much everything we shot. Because I think he wanted that character to be noticed, so that when the revelation comes, you understand what’s going on.

Emma Thompson recently said that she remembered the ’70s punk and fashion scene in London as a teenager. I think you’re roughly around the same age or so. Do you remember that era?

I do. Yeah, but mine was much more a punk thing. So that ’70s thing of long hair and baggy, baggy trousers and stuff, that was just before my time. My consciousness kicked in around about 1977. But of course I was still wearing early ’70s clothes when I was trying to be a punk. That’s the irony.

How’d that work for you?

Well, it just meant I wandered down my high street, I remember, and I had a very ’70s cut jacket, but with silver paint, I’d written the word “punk” on the back. But I still had hair down to my shoulders, you know.

Read more

Movies

Black Widow and Cruella Disney+ Releases Signal Disaster for Theaters

By David Crow

Movies

Marvel’s Eternals Trailer Breakdown: Who Are The New Characters of the MCU?

By Mike Cecchini

Apparently at college, you sang in a couple of punk rock bands: Private Party and Electric Hoax.

I did, I did. And what fun we had coming up with those names, you know?

It certainly all ties into the punk element of Cruella, in a way.

Back then, England at the time, Britain, was a very strange place. I think if you probably look at what was in the charts, it’s real middle of the road stuff, you know. And society was sort of dominated by just people who didn’t really have much drive. So when punk came along, it really was a massive social upheaval. It was a proper attempt to try and change things.

I always remember reading a magazine that had a picture of three different guitar chords. And underneath it said, “Here’s three chords. Now go out and form a band.” And I took it literally. I basically said to some mates of mine at school, “Okay, you go and get yourself a snare drum and a hi-hat, you get an electric guitar, I’ll get the mics and a bass.” And then we literally just made a noise. None of us could particularly play very well, but that was the genius of punk — you didn’t have to at first. But we kind of learned on the job, and then we got quite good.

Ever had the desire to get on the mic for old times’ sake or belt out a couple of tunes?

No, I don’t think the music industry’s lost anything important by not having me as part of it.

Let us be the judge of that, Mark. You got to work with the two Emmas in this film. How are they different or similar in their approaches to these characters?

They really are fine actresses. I’d say I loved every moment on set with both of them. Emma Thompson is just very funny, very inclusive. She’s generous, she’s warm, and she’ll talk to anybody. It doesn’t matter who you are on set. There’s no hierarchy going on with her. She’s really a really lovely lady and great company.

And Emma Stone is pretty much the same. I was fascinated with her, how hard she worked. Because she has to carry that movie. And watching it, she’s just absolutely mesmerizing. She does an incredible job of really painting in that journey with such subtlety, even though it’s a kind of heightened movie. It’s really moving and she’s really brilliant. And yeah, on set, she was still chatting to people. She was very casual. You know, she didn’t rush off to her trailer and go and have to stay in character or anything like that. They were really great company, both of them.

For this film in particular, how much did the clothes, the sets and all that period stuff really help to enhance just shooting the movie for you?

Well, Jenny Beavan, the costume designer, created some unbelievable dresses for Emma Stone. But also what she did was, there were three huge ballroom sequences, in which she had to clothe everybody. So everybody looked fantastic all of the time when I was on set. The thing about being an actor is when you get on set, and all the work is being done for you, because the set is massive and brilliant and really well done, and the costumes are all vivid and real, you just feel the part. You don’t have to do any work in a weird way. I mean, as a butler obviously, or a valet, I just got the one outfit. But that was fine by me because it was a really classy one. And it does the work for you.

What’s happening with Shazam: Fury of the Gods? Is Dr. Sivana coming back?

I literally spoke to the producer last night, because I saw that Zach Levi tweeted that they’re about to start shooting in Atlanta. Dr. Sivana isn’t in Shazam! 2. What’s happened is, I think Helen Mirren and Lucy Liu and perhaps someone else — they’ve got some female villains in. And to be honest with you, I’m very happy to take a back seat to some female villains and let them have a go, because judging by the work that Emma Thompson and Emma Stone have done in Cruella, it’s about time.

Do you think Sivana will come back if there’s a Shazam! 3?

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

 Who knows? He’s still got unfinished business with Mister Mind.

Cruella opens in theaters this Friday (May 28), and will also be available on Disney+ via Premier Access.

The post Cruella: Why Mark Strong Was ‘Fascinated’ to Work With Emma Stone appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2QVG6L2

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

[yugirl-with-dragons]

Arabic AU- Chosen

Another thingie completely written by @aceyugiohdreamer, I’m still so shooketh xD I hope you can leave my friend some nice comments and positive feedback!!!!! It’s all well deserved!! 

---

Yusei was still too tired for this.

He rubbed his face with both hands and cleared the grit from his eyes.

Jack snapped over his shoulder, “Seriously? I rushed all this way out to find you and you’re just gonna sit there like I messed up your damn beauty sleep? You’ve got some nerve!”

Yusei rubbed his temples slowly. “Well you did wake me up,” he muttered. Then he opened his eyes so he could give a sincere smile. “But, it’s really nice to see you again, Jack.”

He started, caught off guard by the sudden warmth in Yusei’s expression.

Aki crossed her arms. “So, he is a friend.”

Both turned back to her.

“Yes,” Yusei answered with a nod. “My oldest friend.”

Jack smirked with a cocky air. He always welcomed hearing he was best or first in something.

“All right,” she said before raising her eyebrow again. “Tell me, though, how it is that you ended up here.”

By then, Yusei’s mind began moving at a lively pace—sleepless nights were not unknown to him, so it wasn’t difficult to adjust—and he found himself just as curious as Aki. If Jack was there specifically to find him, that meant he had known he was there.

How?

Jack still held his sword at the ready, his mind and hands prepared to strike at the slightest hint of threat. Yusei knew that even when he looked distracted or at ease, that training was ingrained in him so deep he wouldn’t be able to help himself: he would attack on instinct before he was even aware of it.

It would be safer, then, to put him at ease.

“Jack, it’s fine. You can put that away,” he said with calm reassurance as he pushed himself to his feet.

But Jack shifted his eyes between them, displaying his suspicion. “You trust this witch?”

His tone wasn’t vicious, but Yusei cringed as if he felt the crudeness of the term personally.

And then he felt the pressure.

“Ex-cuse me?” Aki growled dangerously, the rugs rustling from the disturbance her aura exuded.

Jack’s hands clamped down tighter on his sword, head twitching in every direction as if he was being surrounded. When his eyes returned to Aki, they stared at each directly, the air between them crackling.

Yusei covered his eyes with his hand for a brief moment, sighing as he worked up his patience. Jack’s education had always lacked in nuance and subtlety. Brash, bold action. Strength and aggression. These were the things his father had drilled into him as priorities ever since he was old enough to hold a sword. If Jack didn’t think to tactfully choose his words, it wasn’t exactly his fault.

That didn’t mean there were no consequences.

Maybe back in the nobles’ district there weren’t, since he was the son of the highest ranked general of the king’s army, and maybe he was strong enough to crush any enemy who did get offended by his rough manner of speaking. But here . . .

Well, Yusei was pretty sure Jack was the one at a disadvantage.

He lifted his head and calmly approached until he was standing in the center of their lightning gaze with a hand up to each of them.

“Calm down, please,” he said firmly, and before either could protest, he turned to his friend. “Jack, she’s not a witch.”

“Hn, could’ve fooled me,” he snapped, peaking around Yusei’s head to sneer at Aki. “I saw how she poured out that magic sand that carried you away. And that fire trick earlier. And now this? What else do you call someone who can do that?”

“The high priest of her people that serves the holy Crimson Dragon!” she hollered, widening her stance to glare at Jack with a clear view.

Jack smiled wickedly. “‘Witch’ is easier.”

Aki’s hair suddenly flew up as a gust of wind rushed up around her.

Goddammit, Jack, Yusei groaned in his head.

The entire canvas temple billowed as her wind spiraled within it. Jack had never been taught the value of showing anyone respect—as far as he was concerned, everyone was beneath him and deserved his ridicule.

But Yusei genuinely feared that here and now, Aki might squash him into the sand, or fling him through the air to land miles away with one powerful blow from her dragon.

He probably deserved it, but, well, Jack was his friend, even after five years . . .

So he thrust an open hand toward Aki’s face, silently begging, Wait! and grabbed Jack’s shoulder with the other, giving him a sharp shake.

“Will you stop it?”

Jack seemed reluctant to divert his gaze from the threat before him, so Yusei shook him again.

“She saved my life back there, you know!”

“I never said she was a bad witch,” Jack insisted, though he hardly seemed apologetic.

“I AM NOT A WITCH!”

The wind howled, and the entire tent blew straight up into the air on the rushing wind, exposing them to the open night air. Jack jumped back out of Yusei’s grasp, legs bent and sword pointed forward. Aki’s red glow returned, clashing harshly with the blue-black shades of everything else. Yusei could hear voices and rustling as some people of the tribe were woken up by all the noise, and some figures appeared nearby—curious spectators come to discover the source of the disturbance.

“Aki, stop!” Yusei cried, feeling panic grip his chest.

But if she could hear him, she gave no sign.

The wind was picking up sand from the ground, spinning it around so fast it stung Yusei’s skin painfully, and he could see Jack squinting to keep as much as he could out of his eyes.

Even so, even facing such a threat, Jack seemed unable to restrain himself.

“Heh, maybe you are a bad witch!” he shouted over the wind’s roar, smirking as if taunting her was truly amusing.

And then Yusei flew off his feet, the new gush of wind knocking him to his back several feet away.

Aki’s screech rang in his ears.

Shit! he cursed, scrambling to all fours.

And then he was blinded.

He covered his eyes with his arm, and he heard the wild gasps and cries of the people who had braved the severe winds to come this close.

“The Dragon!” “It’s the Dragon!” “Crimson Dragon!”

A discordant choir of voices sang out with shock and awe, and Yusei lowered his arm to see for himself.

It was back, that long, fiery river of a body, wings spread, jaws wide to let loose its eerie, haunting bay.

Aki’s wind died down. He could see her eyes wide with wonder, her body gone still with reverence.

Yusei was about to be relieved, but something else caught his attention.

Jack.

Jack was . . .

Glowing.

Yusei’s eyes went just as wide as Aki’s.

With another echoing cry, the Dragon slowly faded until the only light left was the red corona Jack’s body emitted.

In the wake of the Dragon’s bay, there was pent silence. Yusei could feel the tension in the crowd behind him, and he could see Aki’s incredulous expression as she stared at the man in front of her. This arrogant, rude, obnoxious, insulting simpleton—glowing with her god’s holy light and favor.

It defied all logic.

Even Jack looked distractedly confused as he examined his own arms and legs. Then, curiously, he switched control of his sword fully to his right hand so he could push up the sleeve—and reveal a mark there, illuminated with its own internal light. Bright red. A bundle of elongated nails curling in on themselves.

Another claw.

The air thickened, vibrating with the people’s amazement. They held back, waiting for permission to break the silence of such a moment, but if they were expecting Aki to acknowledge them, they would be waiting a long time: she seemed frozen in her own bewilderment.

Yusei wondered how long the spell would last, until—

FWOOOSH!!

Everyone jumped.

A giant pile of canvas and red rugs flopped heavily down to the ground.

The tension broke, and with that opening, several people stepped forward, shouting out, “Priest! Priest Aki! That man—that man there—is he another one? Is he chosen?”

Jack turned to the people—probably only just now realizing they were there—then back to Aki, who now had a very hard frown, her expression burning with anger.

With teeth clenched, she answered quietly. “Yes.” Her hands twitched at her side, then balled into fists. “Yes, he is a Signer.”

A wave of excited murmurs ran through the crowd, but even with that, Yusei could hear Aki’s hot voice when she spat, “Unbelievable. Just . . . absolutely, utterly unbelievable!” She spun around and stalked off with heavy, stiff movements, and though her magical glow had gone, Yusei swore he could still see her body radiating with frustration.

Apparently she was going to leave reconstructing the temple for another time.

Just as well. In her current mood, she seemed more likely to set it on fire.

#yugioh 5ds #arabic au #yusei fudo #yuusei fudou #aki izayoi #akiza izinski #jack atlas #yu-gi-oh! 5d's #aceyugiohdreamer #ff #fanfics #fanfiction #fanfictions

[llycaons]

final thoughts on mdzs pt. 1/2 - pros, cons, and my understanding of novel wwx/lwj. major spoilers for both the novel and cql drama. overall? i feel conflicted about this novel, but I found it very troubling and hard to read with some strong good points.

see trigger warnings under the cut

before starting I do want to note that I am, obviously, not Chinese, I really don’t know a whole lot about Chinese history or culture, and in this novel there are absolutely nuances and subtleties and references I have missed, and I apologize in advance for any judgements I make out of misunderstanding or misinterpreting the cultural or linguistic context. I do not know what it’s like to live in China, especially as an lgbt person, and it is not my place to judge how Chinese lgbt people relate to mxtx works. these are just my own reactions and opinions, viewed through the lens of my own experience.

tw for discussion of abuse, ableism, suicide, homophobia

I encourage anyone considering reading the novel, who wants to know what to look out for, to check to the summary at the bottom of this post, below the bolded warning. nsfw text and discussion of rape/sexual assault in that section

Pros

VERY good concept. thrilling compelling horrifying electrifying fascinating a multi-generational tale of war and love and sacrifice and revenge and identity and family and healing and devotion. genuinely the plot was excellent and the themes were really well done - reputation, alienation from mainstream society, corruption, legacy, ambition, hypocrisy, politics

i like the exploration of mob mentality in mdzs and the demonization of the other running back to corruption of the wealthy and rich. as in cql, I wish the protags actually could have changed the system instead of just separating themselves from it (or joining it to change from the inside)

the level of worldbuilding, giving each sect a distinct character, each sect a unique political leader - these are really solid as a foundation for a complicated and realistic fantasy world! it makes for a massive and dynamic setting with a lot of moving parts

i complain about her complicated plots but nie huaisang. holy shit. credit where it is due. and I liked how long it was! if a story is good enough I’m willing to read through a lot. and the details are really cool

i’ve read some analyses of the names and from an English speaker’s perspective, she nailed it. the use of courtesy names to indicate levels of intimacy/formality, whew. I wonder how common that is, in the genre. tgcf doesn’t do that.

commentary on the arrogance and small-mindedness of the rich and powerful compared to the resourcefulness of the common people! how out of touch the wealthy sects are. the privilege of them all!

it was funny! a bunch of little asides that made me snicker, and wwx as a character was absolutely vibrant. the first couple chapters where he wakes up and you meet him are still among my favorites. it was more awkward in cql and less funny as a whole

wwx taking the juniors on a hunt and then taking them out for food afterward is great. class trip with yllz

some of the romantic scenes were breathtaking. not many, but they were there. by the end it really felt like they knew each other and could speak openly to each other which was huge growth from their first meeting/scenes. some wwx’s internal thoughts while he falls in love are very touching and there are scenes where lwj is so gentle w wwx who had never been treated so tenderly before… also the married domestic comfy scenes were very cute

there was a sense of levity and humor in their later scenes. lwj with the dry wit and the flirting was so funny. and when wwx encourages him to step out of his comfort zone and they work together so well on cases and lwj cooks food he knows wwx will like…

don’t judge me for this but I thought the torture and death of wen chao was horrifying in the best way. i do love some gore. i do love some revenge. i do love some horror

right from my first lb post bc its still true - i really love the poetry of wwx waking up in mxy’s body, with all his old hurts erased and with a new gc and a chance to start again. a clean slate. conceptually i just…find that so compelling

“Face-to-face for only an instant, Wei Wuxian was immediately moved by the slight disdain in its eyes.“  lil apple having a character establishing moment was so funny i need to reiterate it

also - gentry refusing to say the name of wwx’s sword bc its too embarrassing for dignified cultivators to say

novel necromancy fucked. with a few hand movements or whistles or snapping of fingers wwx drew corpses up from the ground to fight for him or give him information. and he INVENTED that shit. nobody else before in the history of the cultivation world had done that. all him. three months in the burial mounds with a cursed sword. what a badass.

there was a lot of subtlety in the plot and political and sometimes even romantic dynamics. some of those passages were very graceful and beautiful descriptions of places or events or feelings

i was concerned that the 13 years passing would result in a creepy age gap when wwx came back, but wwx does feel like a mature adult and mxtx didn’t really go in that direction. the romantic scenes in general were sometimes not as bad as they could have been. the massive height difference, forcing one or both into gender roles, and exaggerated personalities are all somewhat based on canon but the fans also make it much worse than what it really is. so…pretty bad but not as bad as it could have been

wwx wanting to show lwj to madam yu and uncle jiang…i firmly believe those bows were meant to be marriage-adjacent in the show too

at the end there was a somber atmosphere and a sympathy for how jgy was torn apart by the eager malice and self-aggrandization of the cultivation world that i missed in cql. there were details and information for characters postcanon I liked to see too

i know it was probably not in good faith as mxtx is a fujoshi but I would like to see wwx in makeup and i liked that wwx expressed an interest in it

its neat to see a slightly different take on the lan clan and how wwx views them and his reluctant admiration of their ways

Cons

obviously the big one is how godawful wx was written because the author is a homophobe who wanted to explore her sick fantasies and used gay men as pawns. often they do not read like real people. more on that below

the women get absolute shit and so does mxy

lord was it fanficcy. writing like this is the reason I hate 99% of fanfiction and fanfiction culture

it is truly astonishing how dry, bland, and emotionless most of the book turned out considering the high-octane angst and drama potential (cql knew. cql milked this for all it was worth. call it corny - and it is - but the writers understood how to shoot an emotional scene)

the flashback sequence was extremely frustrating and confusing. while it was exciting to draw to both finales as once, it seems like she just forgot to write the section where wwx died and left it to rumor and gossip and conjuncture. i did not like the messy rushed pacing of early flashbacks, the sense that we’re getting information relayed to us by passersby and not from a character’s POV, nor the slapdash sense of time passing. I understand gossip is a huge theme in the book but it alienated us from characters we needed to be inside the head of to get the full emotional impact. maybe this is just a taste preference - her goal was not emotion

thematically I get not showing wwx’s death but it really takes the punch out of your story to kill your main character and not even show it. I know that she didn’t show it bc wwx couldn’t remember, but by that point in the novel, the narration was jumping fairly regularly into third person omniscient. thats how we knew about the wen brand on lwj’s chest, among other things

omitting any wwx or lwj pov about sunshot was weird to me. really, the plot was as convoluted as any of her smaller mysteries. and that’s not even a bad thing it’s just that the execution was hard to follow

this was perhaps a problem in translation but most of the scenes felt awkwardly written, the pacing was often very rushed, and the lines were sometimes difficult to understand. there were definitely good chapters throughout and the entire novel took an upswing in quality at about the halfway mark, but overall it was not a pleasant or enjoyable read, not even considering the content I talk about below

i didn’t care very much when most of the characters died. we had little attachment to anyone because barely anyone had any screentime besides wwx and lwj (and almost all of lwj’s scenes revolved around wwx)

this is 100% a personal taste thing but i don’t really care about the culpability of wwx? i do think his guilt and his responsibility for many deaths, including jzx, is a better writing decision and more thematically appropriate but that benefit was overshadowed by the other issues. i think the morality questions are neat! just not what im here for

also the novel does have timeline issues - how can jin ling be 14-15 when wwx died three months after his birthday, thirteen years ago? unless that was a 3-month celebration and so wwx dies when he was 6 months old. and we never get clarification on lsz’s age either except that he’s close in age to JL but that also doesn’t make sense! i feel like she just did not care about developing most characters who were not wx and like, jin ling and maybe jc.

relatively minor but i hate how the narration talks about how lwj’s scars ‘ruined’ his ‘perfect’ body. that’s something that bothers me a lot on a personal level

the scene where fairy literally plays charades with the forehead ribbon is really stupid

the way lwj and wwx ended their journey was simultaneously deeply anticlimactic and disturbing

novel wangxian - sfw section

in mdzs one of the big tropes is miscommunication (the other big trope i talk about below) so lwj is in love since they were 15 or so (for some reason…) and wwx maybe has a crush but doesn’t see it and doesn’t realize until he dies and comes back in a gay man’s body which is apparently a bl trope? for someone not to realize they’re gay for a long time and then realize it and immediately jump into a relationship with someone who’s been in love with them for years? wwx at one point wonders if being gay is contagious. yeah.

there are littler things too - individually many of her writing choices are like, fine but as a whole they paint a picture of relationship colored by a fetishist’s biases. any nice moments they have are in my mind overshadowed by the more troubling tropes that define their relationship

wx do not form a friendship in gusu, their interactions are repetitive and grating, they are barely on speaking terms, they fight a ton in sunshot, they barely talk in BM, lwj tries to save him and defends him and wwx dies without realizing it. wwx realizes he is in love postres, they have some sweet trusting scenes, he confesses with a heavy emphasis on sex, they end their post-temple retreat in legitimately one of the most upsetting and disturbing notes (more below), and that’s that. well, three months later lwj tells wwx the name of the song and he laughs. also they get married

in general there’s very weird overtones to the writing of that whole section. relationship. novel, actually. i do not like novel wx. more below

novel wx - nsfw text, pedophilia and rape m

Please read if you want to know what to expect in the novel - I want to emphasize that an important aspect of the relationship between the two main characters is literally a rape fantasy, and that the author romanticizes sexual assault. There are a lot of character interactions at play and a lot of plausible deniability and scenes/lines that really are up to a reader’s interpretation wrt consent but the fact is that the main character canonically has a rape kink. There are numerous instances of sexual assault from each mc to the other, all later forgiven/condoned by the narrative, and the second sex scene essentially treats rape as romantic. The Dafan mountain kiss and the sex scenes in chapters 96 and 111 are the most egregious examples of this writing, but the sexual harassment, violation of boundaries, and physical entrapment occurs repeatedly throughout the story from both leads towards each other.

details and more thoughts below

a relatively minor issues first of all - REALLY wish the bi mc didn’t tell a toddler about porn

i’ve said before I don’t like the terms “noncon” and “dubcon” because I think they’re easy outs for fans who try to pretend they aren’t just talking about rape. “dubcon” especially is a bullshit term bc there’s no such thing as dubious consent, consent by definition cannot be unclear and fans use it to excuse shit like what’s in this novel

so novel wx has two sides and one of them is this really sweet tenderness and attentiveness and loyalty and gentleness and support and the other is just fujo bainrot glorifying men sexually harassing and assaulting each other

i actually didn’t mind the wwx obliviousness as much as i thought I would, or the huge gap in between lwj falling in love and wwx falling in love, though it was annoying and detracted from the love story

much more concerning to me about their dynamic is the fact that throughout the story, from the beginning, one of the foundational aspects of this relationship is the treatment of sexual assault, the rape jokes throughout the book, rape jokes adults (presented as responsible) make in front of minors, the fact that the protag has a rape kink. there’s a constant underlying theme of imprisonment and silencing and escape, a strong emphasis on the love interest’s social/physical invulnerability and the mc’s relative weakness, and the love interest has a strong possessive streak. any one of these alone wouldn’t be cause for me to make this warning so strongly but it all plays together with the overall dynamic of the assault fantasy

it’s not that I think portraying SA is inherently bad, of course not, but you need to do it respectfully and sensitively and mxtx uses her characters as outlets for her and her reader’s fantasies. i do not think this woman cares about conveying nuanced commentary on consent or on relationships and fans singing her praises and going on about her genius have no critical thinking skills and treat mlm sexual violence as entertainment

novel wwx is such a brilliant character and you hate to see the author putting this on him. i don’t like calling these scenes ooc. the author had a plan for the dynamic and she went with it. thats not ooc, thats just a character written with bigotry. conscientious novel fans might omit these interactions from their understanding of the characters and proceed from there but i really don’t know if i can do that. this is their canon dynamic

im grateful cql completely revamped them. and i know part of that was censorship, but for whatever reason the characters from cql were written in such a way that we know they would never do these things to each other, and for that im glad, as I don’t want to associate such scenes with characters i love a lot

i know the scene on dafan mtn and the drunk scene in 96 were purposefully written as morally wrong and i know that both characters genuinely felt awful about what they did, but here’s where she really fails. i would have been able to accept those scenes (I would never LIKE them) if they sat down and recognized they hurt each other, set up boundaries, and agreed to treat each other with respect. maybe take some time away from each other to work on their individual issues. or work together on them. like partners do. like people who love each other do. like, please communicate! but she writes it so that neither of them are mad at the other for the assault bc, what, it’s okay to do whatever you want to your partner because they won’t mind? because they love you? and everything will be forgiven or accepted? because boundaries don’t exist? what bullshit

later on in 111, and i know this is complicated and real relationships are messy and won’t be perfect and sure there’s a lot of subtext i may missed as a non-native reader but that scene ends with a character going “we are going to have sex every day whether you like it or not” using his partner’s previous words against him because consent given once is what, always standing? and this is treated as romantic, this is considered THE big romantic moment and the climax to their love story. not even touching the textual rape and pedophilia fantasy in the extras which i am so thankful I was warned about and did not read

I’ve always avoided yaoi/bl and most fanfiction for treating gay relationships like this and seeing it condoned and romanticized in a popular original work is very upsetting. so my dni applies double now i do not want the rabid mxtx fans on my posts or in my inbox defending their fantasy with “don’t kink-shame” (an actual thing an ExR translator wrote) or some other bullshit excuse

i may reread the other translation of the novel when it’s finished (it will probably be about a year) but I am never reading any of her explicit scenes again

#mdzs lb