#and to top it all off i'm running an orientation at work today

[icezansky]

my brain feels like mush

#i just wanted to spend the day writing before my shift but i'm second guessing everything and can't commit to a single fic #like i want to finish grieving but i'm in such a bad headspace about it #but i also feel bad working on anything else when that should be my priority since it's already published 4/5 chaps #and i don't want to keep the five people who actually care about it waiting #and then i have one chapter of a new fic ready to publish but i don't want to start that either #and then sugar daddy!ice is like 1/2 finished for ch 1 but . i can't find the energy to work on it #and to top it all off i'm running an orientation at work today #which i've never done and have gotten no instruction for #and i have a terrible feeling that the people who were supposed to do things to get it ready for me absolutely dropped the ball #AND it's presidents day so all of HR is ooo so . pretty positive i can't even do half of what i need to do with these newhires #so i woke up at 3am stressing about that #SEE!!! MUSH BRAIN!! #katie text

[indy829]

Just watched Wes Anderson's Asteroid City (2023) and enjoyed all of the sartorial homages to mid-century Hollywood by costume designer Mileno Canonero, especially with Grace Kelly, Elizabeth Taylor, and Marilyn Monroe.

First up, we have the Edith Head-designed crisp white halter top and pistachio green pencil skirt ensemble cinched at the waist with a white belt that Kelly wore in Rear Window (1954). They even have Scarlett Johansson wearing a bracelet on the same wrist that Kelly wore her chunky charm bracelet. Even more bonus points for having Scarlett with a cocktail in-hand while wearing this outfit.

And then there's the floral dress that Johansson is seen wearing that is adorned with hand-painted pink and green cactus flowers. The floral design, along with the sleeveless bodice, quarter buttons that bifurcate said bodice, and jewel neckline encircled by a strand of tight-fitting pearls, really hammers home the Rear Window outfit Canonero wanted to reference. The main difference between the dresses is that while Johanssen has pink and green cactus flowers to match the desert setting of the film, Kelly's flowers are a golden yellow. These dresses are also both worn during the most action-oriented scenes in their respective films.

There are loads of Old Hollywood actresses Asteroid City could have referenced, so why Kelly? Well, Rear Window is largely a tale about the voyeurism displayed by the charcater portrayed by Jimmy Stewart. In Rear Window, the audience becomes complicit in that voyeurism as well. Asteroid City utilizes the lateral camera movements and dollhouse set designs favored by Wes Anderson to convey a sense of voyeurism, especially when the characters portrayed by Johannson and Jason Schwartzman are gazing into each other's (side) windows.

In these scenes, a couple of other mid-century actresses are referenced. While Johannson's outfits are mostly Grace Kelly-inspired, her hair and makeup are more decidedly Elizabeth Taylor, especially with how the latter looks in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958).

Could this be a reference to the fact that the playwright charcater portrayed by Edward Norton in AC is heavily-patterned after real-life playwright Tennessee Williams who wrote Cat on a Hot Tin Roof? Is the pressured stream-of-consciousness dialogue that Anderson has been favoring lately imitating that of Tennessee Williams characters who are always bursting at the seams to reveal their hidden truths?

And finally, the last 50s actress I saw a reference to was also a bit of a downer. TW for self-harm/suicide.

Johansson portrays an actress in the film and often runs her scenes and lines with Jason Schwartzman's charcater. In one such scene, she is pantomiming overdosing in her bathtub. The most noticeable prop is a comically large bottle of Chanel No. 5 perfume placed on a stool nearby. Why is this relevant? Chanel No. 5 was the purpoted favorite of Marilyn Monroe (though some reports that her actual favorite was Floris Rose Geranium, but the cultural image we have of her today is tied closely to Chanel).

I'm still trying to wrap my head around this scene. It seems that the film at large is a satire of/homage to 1950s Hollywood. Maybe this scene was a parody of the glamorous tragedy of the era that we as a culture still fetishize. Maybe it's a critique on how cruel the voyeurism of audiences and filmmakers can be especially with films like Blonde (2022).

The character herself, an actress who is considered glamorous but also complicated to work with being brought out to a remote desert locale brings to mind Marilyn Monroe filming The Misfits (1961) in the northern Nevada desert.

All-in-all, I enjoyed this latest outing with Wes Anderson and really admired how much thought and precision was put in by the likes of Mileno Canonero. I know that there are probably a ton of other references and homages I didn't mention here, but these are just a few impressions based off of my initial viewing last night.

#golden age of hollywood #old hollywood #classic film #tcm #1950s #1960s #marilyn monroe #grace kelly #elizabeth taylor #asteroid city #wes anderson #rear window #cat on a hot tin roof #costume #film fashion #1950s fashion #edith head #mileno canonero #alfred hitchcock #tw sui ideation #scarlett johansson #jason schwartzman

[sheliesshattered]

Sleeves: laced on!

Dragon claw beads: sewn on and laced up!

Hem facing: started!

Lining for a bag to carry all my con stuff: sewn! (It even has pockets!)

Pieces for a casual punk!Rhaenyra for the evening parties: purchased!

I got to check three things off my Dragon Con to-do list today -- and add one more: a try-on and makeup test-run for punk!Rhaenyra. But hey, three steps forward and one step back isn't so bad, lol.

I am really happy with how the screen-accurate red dress is coming together and I cannot wait to wear it. There's a House of the Dragon/World of Ice and Fire photo meetup on Friday afternoon and it's my only Must Not Miss event for Friday. It'll be fun to get pictures with other people in costume, and commiserate over the complicated nature of HotD/GoT costuming.

Buuut, as much as I'm looking forward to finishing this dress and wearing it around con, every time I put it on I realize that there is definitely going to come a point in the evening when I want to get out of my super fancy silk gown and into something more casual for the evening parties. And thus the idea of punk!Rhaenyra was born.

So sometime Friday evening I'll go back to my hotel room and take off the red dress, re-adjust my Rhaenyra wig, put on a bunch more makeup, and switch to this look with the Targaryen tank top and red-and-black plaid skirt. I'll be pairing it with my big Doc Martens (which will have red laces already in by then) and the Valyrian steel necklace, and several accessories from my Harley Quinn outfit. My hope is that it'll read as Targaryen punk while being comfortable and easy to dance and drink and lounge in.

That puts my planned costumes for the weekend up to six total. Now that photo meetups and evening parties have been announced, my schedule is looking pretty locked in:

Thursday night: 80s prom

Friday daytime: Rhaenyra's red dress from eps 7 and 8

Friday night: punk Rhaenyra

Saturday all day: Harley Quinn in a Taylor Swift tshirt

Sunday daytime: Oswin Oswald from Asylum of the Daleks

Sunday night: Clara Oswald from Mummy on the Orient Express

As far as parties, I'm planning on hitting up the 80s prom (obviously) on Thursday night and the Doctor Who ball on Sunday night. Photoshoots I'm planning to be at include the House of the Dragon gathering on Friday afternoon, and the Harley Quinn gathering on Saturday afternoon. I've heard there might be a Taylor Swift meetup too, and if that happens to be on Saturday I'll try to swing by there with my 'we are never getting back together. like ever.' tshirt.

I've got maybe half an hour left today to work on the hem a bit, but after that I'll be down to 36 days to finish everything up for Dragon Con. If I can keep having days like this where I knock a bunch of stuff off my list, my to-do list should be in good shape a month from now. But I am so excited to wear all of these costumes that it's keeping me extra motivated.

Hokay. Back to pinning that hem facing.

#RRD cosplay #punk Rhaenyra cosplay #my cosplay #my sewing #Dragon Con prep #Dragon Con 2023 prep

[corrodedbisexual]

So here's something mildly terrifying. Anyone feeling nostalgic for the color of the sky? Tumblr polls have the goddamn color of the sky potential. There is a symbol limit on answers, but seemingly no symbol limit on the actual questions.

What's more, doesn't matter how long it is, it does NOT count as a long post, on mobile or on web, so it will display fully on your dash. Absolutely wonderful. You can really feel the 2013 vibes.

So here's a poll with the entire Bee Movie script in the question. Enjoy. I'm putting it under a readmore line because I'm not a goddamn animal. But believe me that I've tested on a sideblog without readmore, and it absolutely displays as an unshortened scrolling disaster on your dash.

@staff my dudes. What the hell. Don't you know your site is full of trolls and gremlins?

@staffs-secret-blog you guys are totally secretly running the hellsite so I'm tagging you as well.

#tumblr #polls #tumblr polls

[cyarskj1899]

GMA hosts TJ Holmes & Amy Robach ‘to be pushed out’ of buttoned-up morning show after steamy ‘secret affair’ is exposed

Jessica Finn

Updated: 12:34 ET, Dec 1 2022

GOOD Morning America hosts TJ Holmes and Amy Robach will be "pushed out" of the buttoned-up morning show after their alleged affair was revealed, an insider has exclusively told The U.S. Sun. 

The source close to production of the family-oriented ABC news program said execs and top talent are furious over co-stars Amy and TJ's alleged romancethat has rocked the GMA staff and thrown production into absolute chaos. 

5Married GMA co-hosts Amy Robach and TJ Holmes were embroiled in an alleged affairCredit: Getty

5Top brass at Disney are said to be furious and allegations have thrown production into chaosCredit: Getty

The source said: "There is no way they are going to be able to stay at GMA. 

"They may not be outright fired, but they'll be relegated to lesser roles, which will make it undesirable for them to continue." 

Hours after it The Daily Mailfirst reported that the hosts were involved in an apparent affair, the viewers saw an immediate change to Wednesday's program as TJ nervously broadcast the 60-minute GMA3 show solo, without Amy or their fellow co-host Dr. Jennifer Ashton. 

The insider claimed: "Production is scrambling to make appropriate changes to appease an upset audience." 

On Thursday morning, TJ was no longer at the main anchor desk with Robin Roberts and George Stephanopoulos, as he had been all week filling in for head host Michael Strahan. 

Most read in Entertainment

GLOVES OFF 

GMA's Amy & TJ 'are ready to file suit' against ABC for their suspension & probe

WHOOPI CUSHION? 

The View hosts left red-faced after loud fart noise disrupts live broadcast

NO HOLZ-ING BACK 

James Holzhauer says angry Jeopardy! champ 'should get lifetime ban'

WHAT A CROC 

Kris' boyfriend Corey slammed for flaunting $40K Birkin bag in new photos

While one insider said that those on the peripheral production staff at GMA were completely blindsided by the news, a second source alleged TJ and Amy weren't doing much to hide their budding romance before the story broke on Wednesday. 

"Tongues were wagging" in their inner-work bubble, the second source claimed. 

In their native New York City, TJ and Amy were frequently seen running together, though one staffer assumed they were simply colleagues training together for the New York City Marathon. 

"When I would see them, I always found it odd that Amy was working out in full hair and makeup. 

"Now I understand- it was a date," the staffer said. 

UNHAPPY HOSTS 

The U.S. Sun previously reported that lead anchors George and Robin took great pride in their team's reputation for demonstrating strong family values and happy marriages- until it all came crashing down Wednesday.  

"George and Robin do not like this. This is very messy," a source explained, adding that the pair once prided themselves on not having a scandal like Today suffered in 2017. 

"They prided themselves on not having a sex scandal, like Today once did with Matt Lauer. 

"They were so proud all their hosts were decent, married and committed people."  

The source said that the news is more painful to Robin, who has an extremely close bond with Amy.  

"Amy and Robin are really close. 

"Robin convinced Amy to get what would end up being a lifesaving mammogram on live TV. Their bond is very strong." 

The source added: "Robin is an idealist. She is the boss. When something goes off the rails she jumps in and tells people to tidy the mess up. 

"And I'm not so sure there's a way to tidy this one up. This is all very dirty for a morning show."  

A SORDID 'AFFAIR' 

Amy and TJ were spotted enjoying what looked to be a series of PDA-filled "dates" and even a weekend getaway together this month.  

In damning photos, the pair looked intimate while having a drink at a bar in New York City on November 10.  

They were also caught apparently spending time together at each other's apartments in Manhattan.  

The pair - who began anchoring GMA3 in together in 2020 - reportedly headed to upstate New York on November 11 for a weekend getaway at a cottage two weeks before Thanksgiving.  

While the presenters are legally married, a source told the outlet that they are in process of separating from their partners.  

TJ and Amy both abruptly deleted their social media pages on Tuesday after the shocking rumors emerged. 

An insider told Daily Mail: "Everyone knows that Amy and T.J. have been close friends for a long time now, running together and even socializing as a foursome with each other's spouses."  

In March, Amy shared a photo of TJ with his arm around her husband Andrew Shue's shoulder during a day of training for the New York half marathon.  

The insider claimed Amy and TJ's alleged affair started in June, if not sooner, while both were very married to other people. 

They claimed it was "when they were in London together filming the Queen's Diamond Jubilee for ABC and staff were all over each other and staff were buzzing about the intimacy between them." 

The U.S. Sun has contacted representatives for GMA for comment and has not heard back.  

BIG FAMILIES 

TJ married his wife, attorney Marilee Fiebig, 44, in 2010. 

He has two children- Brianna and Jaiden- with his ex-wife Amy Feron, and a daughter, Sabine, with his current wife Marilee. 

Amy also tied the knot with her husband, Melrose Place actor Andrew, 55, in 2010. 

She has two children with first husband Tim McIntosh - Ava, 19, and Annie, 16. 

5TJ hosted GMA3 solo on Wednesday- sans Amy or their fellow host Dr. Jennifer AshtonCredit: Getty

5Amy is married to Melrose Place actor Andrew Shue, they wed in 2010Credit: Getty

5TJ is married to attorney Marilee Fiebig, they share a daughter, Sabine and wed in 2010Credit: Getty

Sent from my iPhone

[yunhosthetic]

[3:38 a.m.]

pairing: san x seosang

top: san

bottom: yeosang

genre: smut

words: 1463

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

yeosang mumbled to himself while staring at his computer screen. he took a quick sip of his cappuccino and shook his head.

"nope. it doesn't sound genuine enough," he sighed in disbelief and tapped the backspace key a few times to clear out the words he had typed.

waking up at three in the morning with a house full of seven crack heads is the worst decision yeosang has ever made. he would sit in his room writing a fanfic about two male kpop idols being a couple. he wouldn't talk about it to anyone. not even to wooyoung, his roommate.

the blonde yawned out of boredom and being tired and lightly scratched his cheek. looked at the time on the corner of his computer screen.

"three thirty-eight... and i still haven't posted anything in my writing account for a month, except for silly life updates," yeosang complained then closed his laptop and set it under his bed.

"i'm going to grab something to eat really quick. i'm hungry. maybe get another cup of cappuccino while i'm at it."

he quietly left the room and tip-toed to the kitchen. once yeosang made it there, he opened the cabinet of snacks and grabbed his two packs of dried, sea salted seaweed. he opened the other cabinet that was filled with coffee mugs of all kind. some being LGBT and BT21.

yeosang grabbed the shooky mug and set it on the kitchen counter. he opened the bin of coffee beans and poured a cup into the coffee machine, thankful that it wasn't empty. seonghwa and mingi went out grocery shopping recently and hongjoong, san, and wooyoung restocked everything after their necessary walmart run.

while turning on the grinding button, he heard soft taps from the hallway. a tired groaned followed by it.

"sangie," a voice groaned, sounding a little annoyed from the coffee machine being on, "we can't have coffee until six. what are you doing up at this time?"

yeosang looked over his shoulder to san. san was his best friend for five years and his lover for six months. the two met in high school months before graduation and college orientation. san was never the one to make fun of yeosang, unless he's done something weird or being effortlessly funny towards the roommates, and he can let someone be themselves.

he cleared his throat and added water to the boiling water kettle, making a cup for himself.

"i can't sleep. once i'm up, i have to do something like making coffee," the blonde simply answered, cautiously pouring water into the grinded coffee and mixing it with a spoon.

"it's been like for years. i tried counting sheep, but i am an adult. none of that crap works unless it's booze."

san let out a quiet chuckle and took a seat at the kitchen counter.

"well, you have me. you could've just asked for some cuddles. we all know you don't drink. you're a light weight for fuck sakes," he reminded.

"you never had a drink before. not even a fake daiquiri."

"and i don't plan to any time soon. i will forever be an uber to all of you drinkers, including jongho," the older added then stretched and rolled his shoulders while the coffee was brewing into the coffee jar.

"ouch. that hurts my feelings, sangie," san teased, getting up from the stool and walking over to the male. he circled his arms on yeosang's waist and swayed him to side to side, smiling fondly.

a deep red blush covered yeosang's face. he could feel one of san's hands going under his shirt, and his thumb gently pressed against yeosang's nipple, which caused him to let out a soft gasp and closed his eyes.

"s-san, baby, what're you — w-we can't. not right n-now," he whispered helplessly while san placed soft kisses on his neck and shoulder.

"please, yeosang. it's been weeks that we've done it. you've been avoiding me for too long, baby," the other whispered back.

the black and red haired male turned off the coffee machine and pressed his body against yeosang, his chest touching his back as his other hand pulled yeosang's pink lace panties down to his lower thighs. san scooped him up and took him to his bedroom, his foot pushing the door closed once they were in.

the two began making out passionately. yeosang's back against the wall while san held his wrists pin above his head with hand. yeosang moaned when felt precum dripping out of his tip.

"sannie, please, please," he whispered through the kiss as san pulled away to take yeosang's shirt off and cover his chest with hickeys and bites.

"come on, bunny. speak to me. what do you want me to do?"

yeosang felt chills going down on his back from the pet name. he has always been san's bunny. he was hardly a brat in the bed, unless he was impatient with the teasing.

"touch me, please. i need you inside me, san," he begged, rolling his hips against his boyfriend's.

"can i ride you, please? i've been good all day."

san groaned softly from the friction and nodded his head as his reply. how could he say no to an idea like that? what yeosang wants is what yeosang gets.

the couple pulled away and lied down on the bed. yeosang hurriedly took off san's sweatpants and boxers and handed him the condom. he stood on his patiently while san tore the package with his teeth and carefully slipped on the condom.

"are you prepped, bunny," he asked while yeosang sat on his lap and placed his hands on san's chest, straddling him.

"yes, i am. only for you, san."

"good job, bun. you're going to take my cock so well. you won't be walking for a week," san praised, making yeosang bite on his bottom at the idea.

yeosang positioned his hole to san's big cock and slowly slid down, letting out a broken moan. his nails dug onto san's skin while adjusting to his size. san held his waist and groaned at the friction.

maybe san was right. no. he was definitely. yeosang has been avoiding his and san's sexual needs for too long. all the working and errand runnings have took up so much of their time. they'll have to make it up by this and possibly going to breakfast and dinner.

"so tight ~ start moving, babe ~"

and yeosang did what he was told. he rode and bounced on san's cock like there was no tomorrow. the cal king size mattress squeaked, and head board thud against the wall over and over.

the two men were a hot mess. both of their sweaty bodies grinding up against each other, slobbily kissing and leaving marks on their skin that wouldn't leave in a day or two. san flipped yeosang and thrusted deeper inside him. his cock going in and out of yeosang's turning him on more and more till san hit yeosang's prostate.

"right there! right there, san! oh fuck~ 'm cumming," yeosang screamed in pure bliss, close to his orgasm.

a knot form inside san's stomach, and his thrusts became sloppy after giving yeosang permission. he came on his chest and stomach, tears staining the bed sheets. he spasm and panted softly. san pulled out and came into the condom.

"fuck... that was so great, honey. you did so well. let's get cleaned up before hyung catches us."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

san and yeosang slept in that morning, cuddling under the sheets and wearing new pajamas. the sun's ray seeped through the curtains. yeosang groggily opened his eyes and rubbed the sleep off his eyes. his brown orbs stared at san, who was peacefully asleep and had his arms on his waist.

"such a cutie," he whispered and heard a knock on the door.

yeosang slipped out of san's arms and stretched and cracked his knuckles. he walked to the door and opened it just to see jongho with a smug smirk.

"you forgot these panties, hyung," the youngest teased, holding the evidence in a plastic bag.

"i don't know if you know, but i'll say once for you horn dogs. these walls can talk. we heard every little thing."

yeosang blushed in embarrassment and sucked in his teeth. he grabbed his panties and closed the door. he rolled his eyes and turned to see san waking up and getting out of the bed.

"was that jongho? that little shit," san mumbled and sighed.

"where should we go for breakfast, bunny? it's on me today. "

"it doesn't matter. i just wanna spend time with you this week and next. forever actually."

#kpop writers #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez sansang #kpop #kpop fanfic #ateez fic #ateez ships #8 makes 1 team #stream for clear skin #bxb #mxm romance #gay smut #ateez smut

[mystery-salad]

OC Interview: Matthias

Tagged by @just-eyris-things 💖 and I'm late to the party but here we are!

INTRODUCTION

1. Can you introduce yourself?

He offers a charming smile, "Matthias , Commander of the Pact."

2. What is your gender identity, orientation and relationship status?

"I'm a bisexual man, and very much a free bachelor still." He gives a wink

3. Where and when were you born?

"Right here in Divinity's Reach twenty five years ago. Wonderful city to grow up in, made a lot of connections that got me to where I am today."

4. What is your weapon of choice and fighting style?

"While the standard sword and shield are the usual for soldiers like me, I prefer dual swords. I'm not one to take a defensive stance when I can charge right in against danger. It's good to take charge on and off the field of battle."

5. Lastly, are you happy?

He lets out a soft, charming chuckle before answering. "If I wasn't happy I surely would've moved on to other job propositions by now, my parents surely would prefer I took a safer role after my time in the Seraph. But there's something fulfilling about being able to travel and help people in a way I couldn't if I'd remained here."

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

1. What’s your family like? What is your relationship with them?

"Oh they're wonderful, despite their status they love to keep a low profile though, so I'll avoid dragging this question out too long. We get along well and I try to write or visit when the opportunity arises."

2. Have you ever ran away from home?

"Never even had the thought to, there wasn't much to regret or bemoan of my childhood." He smiles fondly as he recalls, "There were night sneaking out with friends of course, boys will be boys, but I'd always come back by morning. Hopefully to parents none the wiser I'd even left, though I was not as stealthy as I'd thought."

3. Would you consider marriage or having children?

"While I'm in such a dangerous line of work I wouldn't dream of raising a family. I'd hate to be one of those absent fathers off to war. But perhaps, when retirement inevitably comes knocking and it's time to pass the torch on, I may settle down and find The One."

4. Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

"Of course not! I've had nothing but the most trustworthy and kind friends here. And while I know rumors spread that I and my co-Commander, Aildyn (@ascalonianpicnic), had a rocky start to our partnership, I can assure that the two of us work wonderfully together. Just a small cultural conventions bump was all."

5. Which friend knows everything about you?

"Oh, telling any friend everything leaves little to still keep each other on your toes does it? We all have our stories and dalliances we save for more private moments." His smile softens a little, as if fondly thinking of someone. "Nevertheless there is someone who knows the most about me, I'll keep her name secret to avoid any unwanted attention it may garner for her."

ASKED BY FANS

1. Are you literate? Have you been to school?

He feigns insult before offering a smile softening any potential misunderstanding on the action, "Me, illiterate? Id never hear the end of it from my family if I was, with how expensive the schooling I received was. And I highly doubt Logan would have put forth someone lacking in the ability to hold up the more tedious side of running an organization."

2. The eeriest prediction you made that later came true?

"I'm not one for predictions really, I prefer to live in the moment and enjoy what surprises may come."

3. What is something you were embarrassingly late to realize?

"Hmm, I like to pride myself on being observant, so this isn't a particularly easy one to recall. But as a child, it took me quite a few years to realize that not all 'bite sized food was actually bite sized. Had some hilarious moments at dinner parties my parents hosted, not that they'd agree with the results."

4. Do you have mental health or physical issues?

"I'm quite proud to say I'm in tip top shape, physically and mentally. The safety of the world is in very stable hands." He holds his hands out slightly for flourishing emphasis before settling back for the next question.

5. What is your current main goal?

"While we are between dragon threats at the moment, a wonderfully relaxing place to be, we do in fact have some behind the scenes research going on in a few various matters. I'm not at public liberty to talk about then yet, but rest assured when the Pact makes another move you'll be the first to know the scoop."

CHOICES

1. Drink or food?

"Drink of course, a nice drink with friends can happen anywhere at any time. And I'm quite the amicable socialite if I say so myself."

2. Cats or dogs?

"I enjoy both, though I prefer the independence of cats. They know what they want at all times, and I'm afraid I'm far too busy for the training a dog would require of me."

3. Early bird or night owl?

"I'm an early riser by nature, nothing like getting a solid mourning routine and breakfast in before starting the day!"

4. Optimist or pessimist?

"I fancy myself an optimist, this job would get oppressively depressing otherwise wouldn't it? You've got to be able to focus on the bright side as you look forward."

5. Sassy or sarcastic?

"I enjoy some sarcasm here and there, sass has little use in mature conversation aside from hindering the mood. Sarcasm meanwhile, can still let things roll forward with intent thrown in."

HAVE YOU EVER

1. Been caught sneaking out?

He laughs, "While I'd underestimate the count of how many times my parents caught me either sneaking out or back in after a fun night with friends, I'm sure they'd overestimate it. But yes, they've caught me at least once."

2. Broke a bone?

"I've broken an arm or leg here and there, sometimes you just slip up or fall the wrong way of course. Especially when your enemies would like to cause far worse harm. But thankfully we have access to wonderful healers, and I've never been down for long."

3. Received flowers?

The admirers of the Pact and the hard work we do are very kind, they certainly make their adoration and appreciation known. I've received more flowers than I'd have room for even if I filled my office with vases."

4. Ghosted someone?

"Of course not, I'd hate to leave someone hanging and wondering what happened. Anything I enter into, I intend to see through to however it ends."

5. Pretended to laugh at a joke you didn’t get?

"We all have moments of polite convention, and not every joke appeals to every sense of humor. I try to be discerning when necessary, but I've laughed at a fare number of jokes I simply didnt get."

He stands up, giving a polite bow to the interviewer. "Thank you for extending this invitation to me, it's always wonderful knowing how admirers feel and being able to share with the general public that we heroes are just like everyone else."

It's important to know that 99% of this interview is a bold faced lie

I think pretty much everyone's been tagged by now! At least those who want to do it! So I simply extend the invitation to say I tagged you, and mention me if you do this too! I'd love to see others who haven't gotten to this yet either 💜

#matthias reyes #long post #he is lying through his teeth for this entire interview✨ #theres hardly even any half truths in there #the only commander i have who would readily do interviews and its all LIES

[senterya]

It's been an absolute joy reading people's takes on the OC interview that has been floating around recently.

The idea of a Pale Rose interview (read: Fyarh and Nym dragging ex-courtier Reln into this) sounded so oddly entertaining that I wrote it for myself for fun but it turned out... surprisingly okay? So I'm gonna leave it here.

OC Interview: Pale Rose edition

(Draw (or use an old drawing, don’t worry!) or take a screen of your character in an interview setting and make them answer the following questions!)

1. Can you introduce yourself?

Fyarh: Sure. I’m Fyarh, founder and – formally – leader of Pale Rose. I’m also the head of the Dreamers’ division in our guild. (turns to the other two) And they are Nymeleia and Reln, head of the Soundless and Courtiers, respectively.

Nymeleia: (with a wide smile) Glad to be here!

Reln: (remains silent – just nods a little)

2. What is your gender identity, orientation, and relationship status?

Fyarh: (after a few seconds of thinking) I’m male, maybe prefer others who identify as that too? Didn’t think too much about it before.

Nymeleia: I’m looking both ways. I’m female and taken, you could say.

Reln: Why is this even– (exhales) ...I’m male, I don’t care what my partner identifies as. And my relationships are not for the public to chew on.

3. Where and when were you born?

Nymeleia: Back in the Grove, all of us. I awoke at Dawn and the boys are both Night blooms.

4. What is your weapon of choice and fighting style?

Fyarh: I’m best at stealth and surprise – daggers work just fine with that. If it’s an open confrontation, I prefer a light sword that doesn’t hinder my agility. But I’m trained and still training in hand-to-hand combat too.

Nymeleia: I was trained at the Vigil to be the shield, not the spearhead of the attack. I stay behind and make sure nothing hits that shouldn’t. I utilize shades and magic so technically I don’t need a weapon – a staff or scepter can help, though. I also carry a dagger on me, just in case.

Reln: I’m best with a bow. Two-handed sword if it comes to that. But whatever does the job, really.

5. Lastly, are you happy?

Fyarh: (smiles and glances at the others) I am. I’m on the path my Wyld Hunt laid out to me and I got great allies and friends that are with me every step I take. I’m truly grateful for that.

Nymeleia: (with a soft smile) I feel like I found my calling here. I’m working on a cause and with people that are amazing. I’m pretty happy with that, yes.

(both look over to Reln)

Reln: (after a few seconds of silence, with a cynical smile) Are we just supposed to say yes or no to that? Like happiness is that easy to define. (he glances to the side for a second.) But it’s been better here. Take that as a yes.

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

1. What’s your family like? What is your relationship with them?

Fyarh: The guild is the closest I have to a family in a sense you ask. I think? I’m on good terms with everyone – luckily, I mean... (he laughs a little nervously) ...it’s as it should be.

Nymeleia: I’m with Fyarh on this one. The sylvari in Rose are the closest people to me.

Reln: It really is pointless to ask sylvari about “family” – we’re all technically related, but are strangers at the same time.

Nymeleia: (with a smile she barely tries to hide) You are dodging the question.

Reln: I’m not dodging anything, I’m being reasonable. I have close friends, and allies – call that a family, if you want to.

2. Have you ever run away from home?

Nymeleia: We’re all sort of runaways, aren’t we? (she laughs) I’m Soundless, I left the Grove quite early, then joined the Vigil. Does that count?

Fyarh: It counts. But just so that you don’t feel left out. (Nymeleia gasps and mimics trying to kick him in the shin, they both laugh. Takes them a few more seconds to get back on track.)

Fyarh: I used to sneak away a lot when I was supposed to be in lectures. I loved discovering Caledon, I knew every corner of it so well when I was a sapling. Maybe I’d still remember if I walked around.

Reln (after everyone looks at him): ...I’m from the Court. I think that’s self-explanatory.

Fyarh: But didn’t you also wander away a lot?

Reln: You could say. I preferred being alone. Hunting was a good excuse.

3. Would you consider marriage or having children?

Fyarh: In the far future, maybe? I’m still very young though, and my hands are full with my guild and my Hunt. It’s definitely not something I think about a lot.

Nymeleia: Marriage sounds cute – I like the idea of honoring commitment with a little ceremony.

Reln: Neither of those seems to be for me.

Nymeleia: (quietly) Ah, my heart.

(Reln glances at her, but doesn’t respond.)

4. Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

Fyarh and Nymeleia: No...?

Reln: (slightly annoyed) Is it even a friend if you hate them? Next question.

5. Which friend knows everything about you?

Fyarh: Maybe Daleien? We've known each other for the longest, and he was with me through thick and thin. Nowadays I share a lot with Nym and Reln too. I used to be very secretive about myself but I’m working on it.

Nymeleia: We chat and gossip a lot with Dia – she’s another Soundless from the guild. She’s lovely and so supportive, I’m really glad I have her.

Reln: I’m not the one to share everything about myself. But my second-in-command knows the most.

Nymeleia: Oh don’t listen to him. He and Lavan technically read each other’s minds – no words, just half a gesture, and they know all they need to know.

ASKED BY FANS

1. Are you literate? Have you been to school?

Fyarh: I’m literate, and I’ve been mentored as much – well, maybe a little less – than any other sylvari.

Nymeleia: I actually struggled with reading and writing for a while – I could, just not well, as I never really had to. Paperwork has been a nightmare for the first months in Rose, but by now I got the hang of it. I’ve been reading a lot of novels recently, too.

Reln: I’m literate, and was mentored like all other saplings. The latter didn’t reach its purpose, though.

2. The eeriest prediction you made that later came true?

(They all look at each other, but neither of them seems to have an answer or anything they’d be willing to share.)

3. What is something you were embarrassingly late to realize?

Fyarh: Oh. I somehow never really talked about my Wyld Hunt in.... sufficient detail to my mentors? Not before the Wardens arrested me for hiding thorn pups in a forsaken outpost. It was a real journey talking my way out from there. One of the most embarrassingly funny things that happened to me, in retrospect.

Nymeleia: I was always too caught upon not handling the concept of pain, and death, very well. I don’t regret working on it and toughening up, I just wish I had realized sooner that I should hone my strengths instead of desperately trying to “correct” what I perceive as a weakness.

Reln: ...I guess I haven’t realized soon enough what real understanding means. (he seems mildly uncomfortable by the question, and does not elaborate)

4. Do you have mental health or physical issues?

Fyarh: Fighting takes a toll on everyone, I’d say. But nothing other than that.

Nymeleia: (nodding along – her eyes wander off to the distance)

Reln: A few scars here and there. Had a lot to deal with after coming back from the heart of the jungle, but I have worked through most of those by now.

5. What is your current main goal?

Fyarh: I’m dedicating all my time to the guild. It’s been coming along so much better than what I prepared myself for, and I’m not about to waste the opportunity.

Nymeleia: I’m not satisfied with my level of skills on the field yet – I’m spending as much time on training as I can, next to Rose. There are some other necromancers in the guild with who we share our knowledge, and I have gotten some general good advice and lectures from Firstborn Trahearne himself. It’s crazy how far Fyarh’s connections go.

Reln: I’m busy training and supervising my own division. Most of us are reliable and trusting, but there are and will always be a few loose cannons I need to keep an eye out for.

CHOICES

1. Drink or food?

Fyarh: A drink, maybe? I tend to forget to eat. It’s getting on Nym’s nerves at times.

Nymeleia: Ah don’t even mention it. I’m picking food – nothing tops a good, warm meal after a long day.

Reln: Food, if I have to pick.

2. Cats or dogs?

Fyarh: I love cats. I wouldn't mind adopting one, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to take good care of them.

Nymeleia: Can we pick both, maybe?

Reln: (glancing at the thorn wolf lying next to him) I’m more of a dog person. But cats are good too.

3. Early bird or night owl?

Fyarh: I’m a night owl. Waking up with the rest of the guild at early hours is a nightmare for me. I tend to oversleep so much, it’s almost comical.

Nymeleia: That’s not a problem for me though. I’m up before everyone else. And so is Reln.

Reln: (nodding)

4. Optimist or pessimist?

Fyarh: Optimist.

Nymeleia: Same, some will even say naive for sure.

Reln: Middle ground. I’m more of a realist than any of the two.

5. Sassy or sarcastic?

Fyarh: Maybe... sassy? With close friends. I don’t feel like either most of the time, honestly.

Nymeleia: Would you say I’m more sassy or sarcastic?

Reln: (to her) Is that really a question?

Nymeleia: Oh entertain me.

Reln: (gestures towards her; she laughs)

HAVE YOU EVER

1. Been caught sneaking out?

Fyarh: Once, when I was sneaking out of a Court camp with two stolen thorn pups. Barely got away. Didn’t dare to show myself around there for a while.

Nymeleia: Several times. Did a lot of bathroom cleaning in the Vigil for it too.

Reln: If I was, I doubt I would be here today.

2. Broken a bone?

Fyarh: Miraculously, no. I don’t even know myself how’s that possible.

Nymeleia: My left arm. Open wound, too – wasn’t a good experience.

Reln: Nothing that a field medic couldn’t fix.

3. Received flowers?

Fyarh: If you mean it like, in a romantic way? No, not yet.

Nymeleia: I received a few, but in my experience Vigil soldiers are more of the blunt than the romantic type.

Reln: No.

Nymeleia: How dare you. I gave you potted herbs a while ago!

Fyarh: (leaning forward) Potted herbs?

Nymeleia: It’s because he takes his food back to his room all the time. And then he complains about the seasoning. Go figure!

4. Ghosted someone?

Fyarh: I did... use to run away from confrontations a lot. But people say I’ve gotten better with that too.

Nymeleia: I prefer to just tell people if I’m not interested in talking to them. As kindly as possible, of course. But I think it’s ruder to leave them hanging.

Reln: I did leave from places – the Grove, the Court – suddenly, but then again, I didn’t have many connections to either in the first place.

5. Pretended to laugh at a joke you didn’t get?

Fyarh: That happens. Easier than trying to go back to it and figure it out, takes away the flow of the conversation.

Nymeleia: Everyone does that from time to time, no?

Reln: I don’t. If someone’s not funny enough, that’s not my problem.

#oc interview #pale rose recon #fyarh #nymeleia #reln #gw2

[gergb]

All the emoji asks bc I'm a brat 😅😝

I honestly did this in spite of you and just cause I bet you thought I wouldn’t

6’0

✔ - Sexual Orientation

straight but very comfortable with my sexuality

🚬 - Do you Smoke?

No

🍷 - Do you Drink?

No

♒ - Do you Take Drugs?

No. I am straight edge and don’t do any above.

😳 - Age you get mistaken for?

i got mistaken for 20 about a month ago. I’m about to be 30 😂

💉 - Have Tattoos?

yes, my whole left arm, my knee and shin.

✏️ - Want any tattoos?

yes many more.

✂️ - Got any Piercings?

no. I used to have snakebites and my ears stretched

✌ - Want any piercings?

I kinda want my nose pierced

👌 - Best friend?

i have 3. They are tattooed on me and know as the holy trinity

♥ - Do you like anyone?

that’s for me to know and y’all to find out

🎤 - Top 5 favorite bands?

slipknow, a day to remember, linkin park, dayseeker, haste the day

🎶 - Top 5 favorite songs?

only on by slipknot

diluted by slipknot

trophies by drake

beast by the acacia strain

sleeptalk By Dayseeker

😒 - Biggest pet peeve?

not giving me your full attention or not acknowledging me when speaking

📝 - Story from your childhood.

I used to run around and pretend I was a professional wrestler.

💬 - I wish…

I could just get my mind right and reach all my goals

‼️ - Something you’ll change?

my mindset. Need to be more positive

💦 - What makes you horny?

thighs, hips, booty, smile, what doesn’t make me horny?

🌟 - A wish you’ll wish for?

I wish I can stay the course and accomplish everything I want

🔥 - Something spicy you like?

idk what exactly in what context, but I’ll go with food. I love hot sauce on everything 😂😂

👃 You hate the smell of ….

cigarette smoke

👊 - Something you hate?

uhm….everything? 😂😂

🚶 - Are you single?

sure am.

💬 - Can we text?

I don’t think you want to text me 😂😂 but sure

💌 - Fan mail me?

nah.

💍 - Marry me?

okay, buy me a ring first.

💘 - Be my tumblr crush?

done.

💭 - Favorite foods?

chicken fingers, pizza And I love gnocchis

☀ - Story about your day.

uhm….just was at work and spent an hour in a call today because the person gave me the wrong information and treated me like everything was my fault. Dumb person

💘 - Top 5 celebrity crushes?

anna kendrick, ashley graham, kat dennings, Scarlett Johansson, Aubrey plaza

🎥 - Top 5 favorite movies?

the breakfast club, Superbad, Forrest Gump, Spider-Man (2002) and perks of being a wallflower

📺 - Top 5 favorite TV shows?

breaking bad, Dexter, sons of anarchy, boy meets world and stranger things

✏ - Random fact about yourself.

I have never been in a relationship

✈️ - Where are you from?

I am from a wonder of the world in NY

🚀 - Where do you wanna visit?

Australia, Minneapolis, Wizarding World of Harry Potter

😍 - Do you have a crush?

I think we talked about this already

😷 - Something you hate eating?

onions bro. Keep them away from me

🙈 - What makes you shy?

everything. I’m the shyest boy ever

💃 - Can you dance?

nope

💏 - Do you love anyone?

I love a lot of people

👟 - Favorite shoe(s) to wear?

my grey and white vans

🌴 - A island you would visit?

any

🌎 - A country you would visit?

Australia

🌀 - Favorite type of weather?

autumn and hoodie weather

🔮 - Do you believe in luck?

no. We create our own luck

📱 - What kinda phone do you have?

iphone pro max 11 or something like that

📅 - Favorite time of the year?

football season

📚 - Career goal you want?

I want to progress thru my company to where I’m off the phone and in a higher position

🍴 - Favorite food(s) to eat?

damn really asking the same questions, but chicken fingers and pizza always. Also chicken wings, I’m from where the Buffalo wing came from

🍭 - Favorite Candy?

sour patch watermelon

🍇 - Favorite fruits?

pears and cantaloupe

🚘 - Dream car(s)?

1965 gt 500 mustang or Range Rover

🚔 - Have you ever been arrested?

no but been in handcuffs

🚑 - Have you ever driven in an ambulance before?

no

🎫 - Do you have a license?

yes

🚼 - Do you have or want kids?

honestly, yeah I’d like that

🔞 - Are you under 18?

hell no just look like it

🐶 - Do you own a pet?

no my parents own a pup tho

😔 - Something that makes you sad?

this world

😡 - What pisses you off?

people who don’t respect other people

😏 - What turns you on?

everything, but hips, thighs, booty, smiles, eyes, HIPS, boobs it all does something. Glasses too.

😈 - Are you a freak?

honestly no, I’m very vanilla

💪 - Do you work out?

no but plan to change that this year

[pbandjesse]

Welp. Today was my first day at this new job. I'm not sure what to say really. It wasnt a bad day. But it was like. Great. 

At least I slept well. I fell asleep easy and woke up feeling pretty good actually. I was a little tired but just normal tired. I laid in bed a little, James came and laid with me for a little, but soon I wanted to be up and dressed. 

I felt really cute today. My hair needed to be washed but that was alright. 

I spent the morning hanging out. I had breakfast and played a little animal crossing. James and me were hanging out and decided to do things at 930. Keeping each other on task. He went biking and I went to work in the studio. 

I wanted to keep experimenting with beading. I got a box of bigger beads and that was fun playing with. I did a video of that. I also decided to do a 30 days 'til 30 photo thing. I should have started yesterday but that's alright. I am doing 30 days of toys that have stories or memories attached to them. So far people really like them! Feels nice. 

I did some stretching. And soon James was home. He got a shower and I was getting ready to leave. I got my bag together and said goodbye and off I went. 

The school was really nice. I was given very good directions and found the place easy. Though I couldn't find a doorbell, someone did come get me. And the day started off well. Everyone seems really nice. I got a tour and some orientation. They didnt seem 100% sure where I was going to be, what grade or whatever. But today they put me with 1st grade. 

The kids were great. Every kid I met today was super nice and they were fun. But I'm not sure if I will stay in this job. That's kind of over the top. But I felt very uncomfortable with the way the classroom was running. And it stressed me out. The teacher in the room make some comments to the woman in charge kind of implying that they didn't want me there. And the afternoon was off. I don't even know.

At 3 though I was alone and in charge. We went and had snack and then the kids asked to go outside. This was the big problem. I told the kids to get their jackets. And we went out and were having a good time. When all of a sudden a woman came up and was yelling about one of the kids not having their jacket. And I'm like? What? And then her and the kid run away to the front door and my walkie wasn't working and i had to get the other kids and once i did the parent was screaming at the guy in charge and then me about the kid getting sick because of me. And I'm like. He had a jacket. And she was like but it's not his coat! And i was just like. I'm sorry but that's what he put on when I said put on jackets so I'm sorry? But she just kept yelling and so I just was like. Okay I'm taking the kids inside now.

So basically for the rest of the afternoon I felt pretty awful. I tried to not be upset in front of the kids i still had. I drew with them. And played legos. When i just had one kid i let her draw on my tablet. That was fun. And soon we were in the cafeteria waiting for pick up. 

Once all my kids were gone i went to talk to the supervisor and he made me feel a little better about the whole thing but i still felt shitty about it. I didn't want to upset a parent. And its my first day. I'm trying my best. I don't know the kids yet. I'm trying to learn them too. He said it would be alright. And honestly i was just happy i got to go home early. I cleaned up and headed out. 

When i got home James was making us pizza. I had some packages to open. But I just sat on the couc and cried for a few minutes. But soon I was calm again. 

I opened my packages. Was excited my last Christmas gift to James came. A really beautiful gold kettle. 

We had dinner. And i went and took a shower. 

We are both really tired. James keep falling asleep sitting next to me. I am going to try to just sleep i think. 

I hope tomorrow is better. I don't know what will happen. But I'm going to try my best. 

Sleep well everyone. 

[ezmarie]

Sorry I'm submitting lol - there aren't enough text options in ask rip

hiii!! I love your matchups and I'm finally writing up my own request! I was debating for a bit lol. You could call me Juni, my pronouns are she/her, I'm pan. I'm a libra, ENTJ, a slytherin (that ambition babey). I have a hard time admitting my achievements, once I accomplish something its just on to the next! I go to Harvard and study architecture/theory. I can speak 5 languages fluently, 1 at an elementary level that i'm working on rn so 6 total!

Flaws: Perfectionist, secretly v insecure, hot-headed/tempered

Likes: baking, cooking, reading, skincare, running, tennis, skiing

Music I love RN: What's Poppin - Jack Harlow                            3 Nights - Dominic Fike (anything by him)                                         Midsummer Memories - 88 Rising                            Golden - Harry Styles                            Shimmy - Amine                            Pauline - Pomme                            In my Room - Frank Ocean                             My Future - Billie Eilish

Name of some playlists: lazywavy                                        head full thoughts empty                                        why

Traits I look for in a partner: emotional intelligence, kindness, ambition, passion for what they do in life, athleticism to a degree, intelligence, someone to find security in, someone that is there when i feel really insecure and down, someone that can calm me down when I feel hotheaded or when I lose 

My classmates and people all my life have told me I'm super intimidating! I don't understand, but I guess its because I'm just so goal-oriented? I've also been told it's because of my appearance (i guess I am pretty? it's so weird to admit) and how I dress, it's just an aura of I have my shit together and am the queen, some of my classmates will often refer to me as princess hahaha. I am very observant and emotionally intelligent as well. I apparent have a gift of just making some of my male classmates flustered, which comes from knowing to read people well I guess. I have also been told I have a very fire-y personality. I'm quick with comebacks, am sassy, and v witty/sarcastic. Also I have major RBF and a really animated face with expressing my emotions. I like to think I have a straight face but you can definitely tell when I'm annoyed, happy, upset, surprised whatever!

Back to being goal-oriented! I can never have enough of anything, I'll always go for more positions of leadership, jobs, awards, whatever! But this also means I change my mind about what I want to do because I want to do everything haha. Besides being so on top of things, I also love helping others! Many of my classmates come to me for help or advice which I am always happy to offer. 

Beyond the intimidating face, I'm actually so very loyal and caring. I love who I love very dearly and commit hard to my friends. I guess that loyalty part of Slytherin is very in me haha. Though I am quiet, I would still consider myself an extrovert because I love being around people, getting praise from people, talking to people, whatever! I love the energy that comes from being at a party or a group gathering. I also lowkey not lowkey love the attention that comes from those settings. 

I'm 5'3, tan skin (family is from india), my hair is short with wispy front bangs like @taylorlashae on insta and an almost black brown. I've been told my doppelganger is Camila Mendes lol. I like to spend time on my appearance - my morning rituals include listening to music and doing skincare and makeup. I don't go hard with makeup, my style is very french i guess and so is my makeup. I like to do my brows no matter what and some highlighter. I looove the glass skin look or the my skin is just naturally this perfect look ahaha. 

IK this is really long so thank you for reading through it all/matching if you end up doing so! <3

hiiiii! omg thank you you’re so sweet!!🥺 and btw you literally ARE heather like why are you perfect😔🤚anywaysss i ship you with....iwaizumi!!!

i also just wanted to say that you remind me of oikawa, which is another reason i picked iwaizumi.

first, you both are very ambitious and intelligent. you guys would be SUCH a power couple like people would be scared of you, but that’s only because you guys are so put together. iwaizumi would definetly be impressed your incredible ambition and various goals and would work to follow in your footsteps.

he understands and recognizes your hidden insecurity and need for perfection from dealing with oikawa, as well as he’s just observant. he will provide so much comfort and motivation to admit to your actual feelings, but with a less violent approach than with oikawa, of course. he’s a very calm individual and will be able to easily calm you down when you have a burst of frustration or anger.

however, he has trouble dealing with his own emotions and has a habit of brushing them off and keeping them inside. with your emotional intelligence and observance you’ll be able to catch onto this quite quickly. since you have the want to help others and a caring personality, if you work with him on opening up and not bottling his feelings he would most likely be able to fix that problem. he definetly needs someone to help him with that and he would appreciate it so much if you even attempted.

he would be so passionate about you and a lack of care or respect would never be a problem in your relationship. he would make sure to listen completely and be there for you however you need him to be when your feeling insecure and vulnerable. he is also extremely loyal as well and will stick by your side no matter what happens. once you get past that intimidating aura he’s really just a big softie that wants to love and protect you at all costs.

anything you love he’ll try. he’s probably just gonna be honest with you if he doesn’t like it, but not in a mean way. he thinks everything you love to do is really interesting and cool, it’s just that he might be terrible at some of them and that’s just not his forte. when it comes to sports, however, that’s a whole different story. prepare for him to be at every single game and get really fired up when you play. he honestly might be more frustrated when you lose than you are, but he doesn’t show it. he would provide endless support and advice when it comes to stuff like that, and he would always make sure your taking care of yourself.

some scenarios with the two of you:

•you convincing him to do your skincare routine together and him complaining about how he hates it the whole time, but he always has a big smile on his face so you know he secretly likes it

•you baking and jamming out to 3 Nights by midsummer while he zones out looking at you with this dreamy look in his eyes🥺

•him trying to calm you down when your frustrated and it’s kinda difficult so he just resorts to putting on your lazywavy playlist. you end up just laughing together because he looked honestly scared for a second

ahh hopefully you like this!! my brain isn’t working today and my writing skills seem off right now but i tried my best!! <33

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu matchups #iwaizumi hajime #haikyuu iwaizumi #why are you so perfect #help lmao #submission #Petals ✿

[halfabreath]

"How much caffeine is poisonous? Asking for myself, I'm actually worried."

i’m finally getting around to posting the prompts i filled when i was abroad! thanks for your patience. some bittyrans softness.

[takes place in After the Raven Has Had His Say, or, the farmer’s market au]

Bitty wanders through the expansive loft that houses Ransom’s company with a cup of coffee in one hand and a canvas bag full of food slung over his shoulder. The space feels huge without any other people in it, inky darkness dripping from the ceiling down to the corners of the room. The only source of light is the fishbowl glow of Ransom’s glass walled office, tucked along the far back wall.Bitty can see the line of tension running through Ransom’s shoulders from the other side of the room. He’s sitting at his deck but he’s not working; Ransom is perfectly still, staring at his computer monitor. Bitty can’t see his face but he knows the blank expression on it all too well. Ransom is officially freaking out. He jolts when Bitty opens his office door but he doesn’t turn around, still too tangled in his thoughts to interact with another person, but Bitty can work with that.“Hey, Sugar! You’ll never believe what happened today.” Bitty says, voice brighter than the fluorescent lights as he launches into a retelling of his latest kitchen mishap. He sweeps in, flicking on the floor and desk lamps before turning off the bright overhead lights before switching out Ransom’s mug with the  coffee he brought with him. The smell of fresh coffee makes Ransom tear his eyes away from his computer screen, and he stares down at the paper to-go cup with wide eyes.   

“And then,” Bitty continues as he arranges the messy spread of papers into a semi-neat stack to clear a spot for the food on Ransom’s desk. “The white chocolate started smoking, which is what I get for not using the double boiler but I swear, I haven’t seen that thing in months, have you? I’m not sure it even exists anymore but that’s how it seems to go in our kitchen sometimes. Oh! Remember those herb scissors that disappeared last May? Just in time for rosemary season, too, so you had to run on out buy me another pair. Guess what?” Bitty pauses to take a breath, and just manages to catch Ransom’s questioning hum. Good, at least he’s processing the words. Bitty drops a kiss to his forehead and barrels on. “Well, I found the original pair of scissors when I was looking for the double boiler today. Someone put them in the Dutch oven.” Bitty pauses again. The silence hangs between them but at least Ransom’s hands have stopped shaking. “Fine, I’ll concede that it was most likely me but there’s still a slim chance that it was you, and I’ll take that to my grave. What was I talking about? Oh, the white chocolate -” Bitty goes on until the food is unpacked and by the time he’s arranged it onto the plates he’s brought Ransom’s hand has curled around the coffee cup. He raises it to his lips, tipping his head back as he downs at least a third of it in a long series of gulps, and when Ransom sets it back down on the desk he gives himself a little shake. Bitty waits.

Ransom blinks. Rolls his shoulders. Looks around his office for a long moment to re-orient himself.Bitty waits.Ransom takes a deep breath, lets it out, and finally speaks. "How much caffeine is poisonous? Asking for myself, I'm actually worried." He says, and Bitty laughs. He turns Ransom in his desk chair and sweeps his fingers over Ransom’s broad shoulders just to feel the muscles relax under his fingertips. “You should know, Mr. Former Bio Major. But don’t worry, you just drank decaf.” Bitty murmurs, leaning in to press a soft kiss to Ransom’s lips. Ransom hums, low and familiar, and he tastes like coffee so Bitty kisses him until the bitterness fades away. “Time to eat,” Bitty says when he finally pulls away, hands busy loosening Ransom’s tie. Ransom skates his palms up Bitty’s legs to cup loosely over his hips, thumbs pressing in just above the bone. “Okay,” Ransom breathes, but he doesn’t let go of Bitty’s hips. Bitty tries to twist back to grab their food but Ransom just tightens his grip.“Ransom, you know the rules. Food, then cuddling.” Bitty admonishes. They have a routine for Ransom’s Moments of Disposition, as Bitty calls them. Ransom always wants to cuddle, but they always have to cut it short because his stomach starts rumbling. Still, Ransom doesn’t let go. “Ransom. Rans.” Bitty tries, trying to cajole him into relaxing his grip. “Honey. Sugar. Muffin. Cupcake. Squash blossom.” Ransom wrinkles his nose, and it takes all of Bitty’s self control to not kiss it.“Squash blossom?” Ransom asks, and in his confusion he loosens his grip just enough for Bitty to escape. He twists around, ducking away to grab the two plates of food, and thrusts one into Ransom’s open hands before sitting himself down on the desk. Ransom scoots his chair over, inching closer and closer until he’s satisfied. Bitty reaches out, unable to help himself, and brushes his thumb over Ransom’s cheek. “Yeah, Squash Blossom. I think it suits you.” Ransom grins, cheek shifting under Bitty’s palm.“It’s better than Muffin, so I’ll take it.” Ransom says, and pops a green bean into his mouth. Bitty’s torn between victory and indignation. “I think it suits you fine!” Bitty protest. “It’s perfect! Sweet but not too sweet, healthy-ish but full of flavor...” Ransom laughs, and the sound is sweeter than the toffee Bitty brought for dessert. Ransom ebbs and flows after a Moment. He needs food and physical contact and he can go from exhausted to energized and back again at a moment’s notice. He’s wide awake as they finish eating and pack up the Tupperware but he dozes off on the car ride back to their apartment. Bitty wakes him as gently as he can and leads him to the elevator but by the time they reach their floor he’s awake enough to unlock the door and place his bag on the kitchen island. He makes it into the bedroom but once he’s through the threshold he stops, looking around the room as he tries to decide what to do next. “Rans,” Bitty says, voice barely above a whisper. “Why don’t you sit on the bed while I get your pajamas?” Bitty suggests, tugging on Ransom’s shirt to untuck it before he sits down. Ransom hums in agreement and has his shirt unbuttoned by the time Bitty returns with his sleep pants. After he changes Bitty pushes him into the bathroom and follows him in. When they’re both done Bitty settles himself in the middle of the bed, back propped up against the headboard, and waits. Ransom crawls across the bed, moving languidly, and all but collapses on Bitty’s lap. Bitty lets him lay there, tracing random patterns and writing recipes over Ransoms back and neck until his legs go numb. He taps on Ransom’s shoulder, and Ransom rolls onto his side and pulls Bitty down until their eyes are level. Bitty carefully arranges them, fluffing pillows and dragging blankets into place until everything is perfect, and then he tugs Ransom closer. “Comfy?” He asks, lips pressed against Ransom’s collarbone. “Mmmmhmph.” Ransom rumbles, his hum vibrating through his chest. He tilts his head and presses a kiss to the top of Bitty’s head. “Thanks, Bits.” He mumbles, already half asleep, and Bitty smiles against his neck. They’re quiet for a long moment. “My lil’ squash blossom,” Bitty mumbles, and Ransom’s huffed laughter is the last sound Bitty hears before he falls asleep.

#noel writes #after the raven #bittyrans #eric bitty bittle #justin ransom oluransi #tw panic attack #coralreef!ransom #Anonymous

[zainbap]

like autumn leaves, we fall

BangDae college/university AU  •  masterpost  •  AO3

words: 2539

part one

~

It’s Saturday afternoon, and while most students in the area are still sleeping off the booze from last night, Daehyun is stumbling off the bus and running towards the campus library.

One week, he thinks to himself. It’s only been one week, and he already feels stretched too thin. He slept badly even before he started college, didn’t think it could get any worse, but he’d been wrong. He’s been living on the average two hours per night throughout the week. He’d been looking forward to spend most of his first weekend in bed, until he woke up with a start this morning, realizing he doesn’t have the course book they’re supposed to have read before Monday’s morning class.

He expects to find the department as busy and crowded as is usually is, but the place is shockingly quiet. Daehyun nearly holds his breath the moment he steps out of the revolving door, the sound of his pounding heart seeming so incredibly loud to his own ears. There are students scattered around the tables and couches, but no one lifts their head to look at him entering. They seem to be in their own world, focused on their work. Thank god.

Collecting himself a little, Daehyun takes a new breath and straightens up. He runs a hand through his morning hair, even though it’s a condemned mess, and rearranges the bag strap that’s about to fall off his shoulder. He glances up at the clock, noting that the library will close in less than three hours.

Daehyun doesn’t even attempt to look for the book on his own — he’s never been good at orientating himself in libraries, and he doesn’t want to waste more time. He heads straight for the desk, digging in his pocket for the piece of paper he’d scribbled down the title and ISBN number.

The guy sitting behind the desk doesn’t look much older than himself, and Daehyun’s steps can’t help but falter a little. Because he’s definitely not dressed to impress today — or groomed, for that matter — and the universe must truly hate him this week, because the guy is attractive. At least, what little Daehyun can see, the way he’s got his head bowed down over a book. He’s wearing glasses, the big and round kind, and Daehyun used to think they looked ridiculous, but this dude is proving him wrong.

When Daehyun approaches the desk, the guy looks up from his book and meets Daehyun’s gaze with a friendly smile. He straightens up a little.

“Hi,” he says, in an incredibly deep voice.

“Hey,” Daehyun breathes out, planting his hands on top of the desk. “I really need to borrow a course book. I’ve ordered it online already, but it hasn’t arrived yet, and I need it before class on Monday.” He holds out the piece of paper. “This one. I'm— Please say you still got a copy.”

“Let me check,” the guy says.

He takes the note from Daehyun’s hand before turning to his computer. He pushes his glasses further up his nose with his forefinger, before typing in the title in the search field.

Daehyun waits patiently, expecting the worst. He knows he’s late, knows he should’ve tried borrowed the book as soon as they got the assignment. But he’s so new to how these things work, to have this level of responsibility, and he’d allowed himself to relax knowing he’d ordered his books online. It didn’t even occur to him how long the shipping would take.

He’s an idiot. Daehyun wants to slap himself.

The guy frowns at his screen, and the way his nose scrunches up is ridiculously cute. For a moment, Daehyun forgets about his academic crisis and just appreciates the cute guy he probably never would’ve met if he hadn’t gotten himself in this situation.

“There’s none left to lend you, unfortunately,” the guy says. Daehyun is just about to panic when he continues. “But we still have one copy for reference. You can’t take it home with you, but you can read it here in the library.” His eyes quickly dart over Daehyun. “Do you… got what you need to finish your assignment here? We’re closing in a few hours, but… there’s still time.”

Daehyun blinks, torn between feeling disappointed and utterly relieved. He hurries to mentally check off a list of things he brought with him.

“Yes,” he hurries to say. “Thank you. Shit, thank you. That’s fine. That’s great.”

The guy chuckles a little, a wheezy kind of sound, and Daehyun is surprised by the contrast from his otherwise baritone voice.

“Okay,” he guy says, moving to ‘round the desk. “I’ll show you the shelf.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” Daehyun tells him, following him through the bookcases. “Really. I thought I was done for. And it’s only my first week.”

The guy chuckles again, but doesn’t respond. Daehyun decides it’s time to shut up. He absently wonders just how many students like him a librarian has to deal with on a weekly basis.

“Here.”

He stops and picks a book from the top shelf, marked with blue tape, and hands it to Daehyun. They’re closer now, and for the first time Daehyun notices the name tag on the man’s chest. Yongguk. He hurries to raise his gaze again, feeling awkward when noticing the amused smile in the corner of Yongguk’s mouth.

“Thank you,” he says again, holding tightly to the book. “I’ll be quick.”

“You can keep it until we close,” Yongguk says, shrugging. But he’s still smiling. “Unless one of your classmates come to fight you for it, of course.”

Daehyun’s shoulders sag.

“I’m pretty sure none of them are as late as I am,” he mutters.

He expects Yongguk to just chuckle and return to his desk again, but he tilts his head to the side. Regarding him for a second, and it makes Daehyun’s heart jolt.

“You really shouldn’t be stressing out this much the very first week,” he comments.

“Easier said than done,” Daehyun sighs. “Honestly, it’s just bad planning. Totally my fault. It’s not like we’re drowning in assignments or anything. I’m just—”

He doesn’t know how to finish the sentence, doesn’t know why the hell he’s talking about this with the librarian. He feels heat starting to rise to his face, embarrassed by the thought of anyone else sitting by the tables on the other side of the shelves, hearing him. Judging him.

Yongguk doesn’t look like he’s judging him, though. He looks downright concerned.

“You’ll be okay,” he says after a moment. “You still got time.”

Daehyun nods, keeping his mouth shut. He’s done complaining to a stranger.

Yongguk offers a weak smile before he nods and starts to head back the way they came, brushing past Daehyun as he does so.

“I’ll be at the front desk if you need any more help,” he says.

Daehyun nods again, even though Yongguk can’t see it.

He finds an unoccupied table in the corner of the library, and makes himself at home. He wishes he’d brought snacks or at least a water bottle with him, seeing as he’ll be here for a while. There’s still a hint of panic raging in his gut, knowing he’s on a timer, but he tries not to think about it. He flips his notebook open and turns his phone off, forbidding himself to waste time.

I’ll be okay, he tells himself. I can do this.

-

-

With his phone turned off, and no clock within his line of sight, Daehyun has no perception of time. He only knows he’s filled several pages in his notebook by the time Yongguk comes walking up to him.

“Fuck,” he whines. “Has it been three hours already? Are you closing?”

“Oh, no,” Yongguk hurries to reassure him. Daehyun first then notices the glass of water in his hands. “No, I was just— Do you want some water? You… looked like you might need it.”

Daehyun blinks.

“Oh. Thank you. I'm— Yeah, I forgot to bring anything. Too busy just bringing myself,” he mumbles, running a hand through his hair again. Feeling self-conscious. “Thank you, really.”

Yongguk puts the glass down, giving him a small smile. He turns around and leaves, and Daehyun can’t help but feel disappointed. He sighs, takes a big sip water, and returns his attention to his work.

-

-

When he’s about halfway through the chapters he’s supposed to be reading, Yongguk shows up again. He isn’t carrying anything this time, but simply points to the chair opposite of Daehyun.

“Mind if I sit?”

Daehyun opens his mouth, hesitating. He hates his life.

“No offence, dude,” he says slowly. “But I’m 99% sure you’ll distract me if you sit there.”

Yongguk chuckles again, and the sound makes something stir inside Daehyun’s belly. He doesn’t look offended at all.

“I just thought I could help you out.” He nods toward the book he’d handed Daehyun earlier. “We read it in my first year, too.”

Daehyun blinks, processing the facts he’s been given.

“What’s your major?”

“Education,” Yongguk replies. “I’m in my third year. My roommate graduated last year, so I decided to get a part-time job this semester to help with the rent,” he explains, shrugging with one shoulder as if to gesture to the library in general.

“Oh,” Daehyun says dumbly. Not sure what else to say.

Yongguk is still smiling faintly.

“If you’d rather do it by yourself, I get it. I just thought I’d offer to help you out.” He seems to hesitate. “You seem to be dealing with some anxiety, and I know what that’s like. So.”

Daehyun swallows, moved by how friendly and kind Yongguk is being. This first week has been heavy on him, both physically and mentally. He hasn’t really bonded with any of his classmates yet, and he’s still feeling lost in the big city after only moving here three days before his classes started. It’s a lot of things to adapt to, and while no one has given him a hard time, exactly, neither has anyone truly offered a helping hand the way Yongguk is doing right now.

“I- Thank you,” Daehyun says again, around the sudden lump in his throat. He must sound like a broken record, but there’s really nothing else to say. “You're… so nice.”

Yongguk’s smile grows to the point where Daehyun sees a flash of teeth and gums, before he goes to sit on the chair he’d pointed at earlier.

“It’s no problem,” he says simply.

He puts his elbows on the table, leaning forward a little. And it’s just enough for the corner of a tattoo to peek out from the collar of his shirt, and Daehyun hurries to tear his eyes away.

If Yongguk notices, he doesn’t seem to care.

-

-

When Daehyun drops the book back on the table, letting it fall closed, it’s barely twenty minutes till closing time. He groans both in victory and annoyance. But he’s done. He managed to do it. He won’t be falling behind entering his second week of college.

“Thank fuck,” he mutters, leaning back in his chair. “Oh my god. This was so not how I pictured myself spending my Saturday.”

Yongguk chuckles across the table, mirroring his pose. Since joining Daehyun by the table, he’s only had to run back to the front desk three times, but he’s always come back. Daehyun hadn’t really expect him to. It all went smoother, once he had someone else to discuss with. He has a tendency to lose himself in his thoughts, and focusing on Yongguk and the chapter they were discussing, helped.

“Let me guess,” Yongguk says, smirking. “You’d rather be out partying.”

Daehyun can’t help but snort.

“No, dude. I’d rather be lying in bed, stuffing my face with a bag of chips.”

Yongguk laughs at that, and it’s just as wheezy as his chuckles. Daehyun feels himself grin at the sound of it, feeling overwhelmed and proud that he’s the one who made Yongguk laugh like that.

“Actually,” he comments, once he’s calmed down, “that doesn’t sound too bad.”

He sighs, and rises from his chair. Daehyun hurries to pack his things and do the same, keeping the course book in his hand.

Yongguk walks with him to the shelf to put it back, and then Daehyun follows him back to the front desk. The book Yongguk had been reading when Daehyun first came in is still there, neglected and forgotten.

“This sounds strange now,” Yongguk says, scratching the back of his neck. “But what’s your name?”

Daehyun is shocked for a moment, before remembering that he doesn’t got a name tag like Yongguk does. That despite the hours they’ve spent in each other’s presence, Yongguk doesn’t know what the hell his name is.

“Daehyun,” he replies, unable to stop himself from running angry fingers through his hair yet again.

“I’m Yongguk,” Yongguk replies, smiling softly.

“Yeah, I know,” Daehyun offers, nodding to his chest.

Yongguk rolls his eyes, scoffing. Daehyun’s heart does something ridiculous. He tightens his grip on his bag strap, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He knows he’s supposed to be leaving, to wave and tell Yongguk thank you one last time, but he can’t help but linger.

Most of the other students have gone home by now. All tables within Daehyun’s line of sight are empty. He knows he shouldn’t feel excited about that, about being left alone with Yongguk, but he can’t help it. Can’t help but feel hopeful. He’s not even sure what he’s hoping for. Just. Something.

But the silence stretches on for too long, and Daehyun starts to feel horribly awkward just standing there, so he swallows and nods to himself.

“Right. Okay. Thank you again, Yongguk.”

He backs away slowly. Yongguk is still smiling at him. He looks so soft, and Daehyun knows he’s screwed. Knows he’s gonna have a stupid crush on this guy for the rest of the semester, even if he never sees him again.

“Hope I’ll see you again,” Yongguk says. “And take care of yourself, Daehyun. Don’t stress too much.”

Daehyun ducks his head down, embarrassed.

“I’ll try not to,” he promises, and turns around before he backs into something. That would be awkward. “Okay. Bye.”

“See ya,” Yongguk calls after him.

Daehyun has to force himself not to look back as he heads for the bus stop, worried that Yongguk will see him do it. He doesn’t glance back at the building until he’s on the bus, finding an empty seat. The windows are too dark for him to make out anything past the vague shapes of the shelves.

He sighs, fishing up his phone and turning it back on. He’s got five snaps waiting for him — whereas at least four are definitely of Mochi — and about twenty unread messages in the group chat with Junhong and Jongup. There’s also one text from Youngjae, which he decides to read first.

First rule of college: make your weekends count.

Daehyun hums to himself, thinking of the panic he’d felt when waking up a couple hours ago. He taps the screen to type out a reply.

This one has been great so far.

#bangdae #b.a.p #my writing

[heterophobicloki]

it seems so hilarious to me that the 15 year old who is running this blog seems to think they know everything like an adult, when by your logic, you're still a CHILD. people can ship whatever they want without your pathetic, childish ass slating shit people like. I ship otayuri because it's cute as fuck. I ship otayuri because when I was at the age of 15, my boyfriend was 19. and our relationship was healthy and normal, and 6 years on we have a child and are engaged (1)

i was gonna reply with “come off anon to insult me you coward ive never pretended to know everything but i know adults shouldnt date children seeing as that affects me as a child and being a child doesnt mean i cant speak about things” but heres my actual response. It got a little long, so its under the cut

According to all known lawsof aviation,  there is no way a beeshould be able to fly.  Its wings are too small to getits fat little body off the ground.  The bee, of course, flies anyway  because bees don't carewhat humans think is impossible.  Yellow, black. Yellow, black.Yellow, black. Yellow, black.  Ooh, black and yellow!Let's shake it up a little.  Barry! Breakfast is ready!  Ooming!  Hang on a second.  Hello?  - Barry?- Adam?  - Oan you believe this is happening?- I can't. I'll pick you up.  Looking sharp.  Use the stairs. Your fatherpaid good money for those.  Sorry. I'm excited.  Here's the graduate.We're very proud of you, son.  A perfect report card, all B's.  Very proud.  Ma! I got a thing going here.  - You got lint on your fuzz.- Ow! That's me!  - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.- Bye!  Barry, I told you,stop flying in the house!  - Hey, Adam.- Hey, Barry.  - Is that fuzz gel?- A little. Special day, graduation.  Never thought I'd make it.  Three days grade school,three days high school.  Those were awkward.  Three days college. I'm glad I tooka day and hitchhiked around the hive.  You did come back different.  - Hi, Barry.- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.  - Hear about Frankie?- Yeah.  - You going to the funeral?- No, I'm not going.  Everybody knows,sting someone, you die.  Don't waste it on a squirrel.Such a hothead.  I guess he could havejust gotten out of the way.  I love this incorporatingan amusement park into our day.  That's why we don't need vacations.  Boy, quite a bit of pomp...under the circumstances.  - Well, Adam, today we are men.- We are!  - Bee-men.- Amen!  Hallelujah!  Students, faculty, distinguished bees,  please welcome Dean Buzzwell.  Welcome, New Hive Oitygraduating class of...  ...9:15.  That concludes our ceremonies.  And begins your careerat Honex Industries!  Will we pick ourjob today?  I heard it's just orientation.  Heads up! Here we go.  Keep your hands and antennasinside the tram at all times.  - Wonder what it'll be like?- A little scary.  Welcome to Honex,a division of Honesco  and a part of the Hexagon Group.  This is it!  Wow.  Wow.  We know that you, as a bee,have worked your whole life  to get to the point where youcan work for your whole life.  Honey begins when our valiant PollenJocks bring the nectar to the hive.  Our top-secret formula  is automatically color-corrected,scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured  into this soothing sweet syrup  with its distinctivegolden glow you know as...  Honey!  - That girl was hot.- She's my cousin!  - She is?- Yes, we're all cousins.  - Right. You're right.- At Honex, we constantly strive  to improve every aspectof bee existence.  These bees are stress-testinga new helmet technology.  - What do you think he makes?- Not enough.  Here we have our latest advancement,the Krelman.  - What does that do?- Oatches that little strand of honey  that hangs after you pour it.Saves us millions.  Oan anyone work on the Krelman?  Of course. Most bee jobs aresmall ones. But bees know  that every small job,if it's done well, means a lot.  But choose carefully  because you'll stay in the jobyou pick for the rest of your life.  The same job the rest of your life?I didn't know that.  What's the difference?  You'll be happy to know that bees,as a species, haven't had one day off  in 27 million years.  So you'll just work us to death?  We'll sure try.  Wow! That blew my mind!  "What's the difference?"How can you say that?  One job forever?That's an insane choice to have to make.  I'm relieved. Now we only haveto make one decision in life.  But, Adam, how could theynever have told us that?  Why would you question anything?We're bees.  We're the most perfectlyfunctioning society on Earth.  You ever think maybe thingswork a little too well here?  Like what? Give me one example.  I don't know. But you knowwhat I'm talking about.  Please clear the gate.Royal Nectar Force on approach.  Wait a second. Oheck it out.  - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!- Wow.  I've never seen them this close.  They know what it's likeoutside the hive.  Yeah, but some don't come back.  - Hey, Jocks!- Hi, Jocks!  You guys did great!  You're monsters!You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!  - I wonder where they were.- I don't know.  Their day's not planned.  Outside the hive, flying who knowswhere, doing who knows what.  You can'tjust decide to be a PollenJock. You have to be bred for that.  Right.  Look. That's more pollenthan you and I will see in a lifetime.  It's just a status symbol.Bees make too much of it.  Perhaps. Unless you're wearing itand the ladies see you wearing it.  Those ladies?Aren't they our cousins too?  Distant. Distant.  Look at these two.  - Oouple of Hive Harrys.- Let's have fun with them.  It must be dangerousbeing a Pollen Jock.  Yeah. Once a bear pinned meagainst a mushroom!  He had a paw on my throat,and with the other, he was slapping me!  - Oh, my!- I never thought I'd knock him out.  What were you doing during this?  Trying to alert the authorities.  I can autograph that.  A little gusty out there today,wasn't it, comrades?  Yeah. Gusty.  We're hitting a sunflower patchsix miles from here tomorrow.  - Six miles, huh?- Barry!  A puddle jump for us,but maybe you're not up for it.  - Maybe I am.- You are not!  We're going 0900 at J-Gate.  What do you think, buzzy-boy?Are you bee enough?  I might be. It all dependson what 0900 means.  Hey, Honex!  Dad, you surprised me.  You decide what you're interested in?  - Well, there's a lot of choices.- But you only get one.  Do you ever get boreddoing the same job every day?  Son, let me tell you about stirring.  You grab that stick, and you justmove it around, and you stir it around.  You get yourself into a rhythm.It's a beautiful thing.  You know, Dad,the more I think about it,  maybe the honey fieldjust isn't right for me.  You were thinking of what,making balloon animals?  That's a bad jobfor a guy with a stinger.  Janet, your son's not surehe wants to go into honey!  - Barry, you are so funny sometimes.- I'm not trying to be funny.  You're not funny! You're goinginto honey. Our son, the stirrer!  - You're gonna be a stirrer?- No one's listening to me!  Wait till you see the sticks I have.  I could say anything right now.I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!  Let's open some honey and celebrate!  Maybe I'll pierce my thorax.Shave my antennae.  Shack up with a grasshopper. Geta gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!  I'm so proud.  - We're starting work today!- Today's the day.  Oome on! All the good jobswill be gone.  Yeah, right.  Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,stirrer, front desk, hair removal...  - Is it still available?- Hang on. Two left!  One of them's yours! Oongratulations!Step to the side.  - What'd you get?- Picking crud out. Stellar!  Wow!  Oouple of newbies?  Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!  Make your choice.  - You want to go first?- No, you go.  Oh, my. What's available?  Restroom attendant's open,not for the reason you think.  - Any chance of getting the Krelman?- Sure, you're on.  I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.  Wax monkey's always open.  The Krelman opened up again.  What happened?  A bee died. Makes an opening. See?He's dead. Another dead one.  Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.  Dead from the neck up.Dead from the neck down. That's life!  Oh, this is so hard!  Heating, cooling,stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,  humming, inspector number seven,lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,  mite wrangler. Barry, whatdo you think I should... Barry?  Barry!  All right, we've got the sunflower patchin quadrant nine...  What happened to you?Where are you?  - I'm going out.- Out? Out where?  - Out there.- Oh, no!  I have to, before I goto work for the rest of my life.  You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?  Another call coming in.  If anyone's feeling brave,there's a Korean deli on 83rd  that gets their roses today.  Hey, guys.  - Look at that.- Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?  Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.  It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.  Really? Feeling lucky, are you?  Sign here, here. Just initial that.  - Thank you.- OK.  You got a rain advisory today,  and as you all know,bees cannot fly in rain.  So be careful. As always,watch your brooms,  hockey sticks, dogs,birds, bears and bats.  Also, I got a couple of reportsof root beer being poured on us.  Murphy's in a home because of it,babbling like a cicada!  - That's awful.- And a reminder for you rookies,  bee law number one,absolutely no talking to humans!  All right, launch positions!  Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!  Black and yellow!  Hello!  You ready for this, hot shot?  Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.  Wind, check.  - Antennae, check.- Nectar pack, check.  - Wings, check.- Stinger, check.  Scared out of my shorts, check.  OK, ladies,  let's move it out!  Pound those petunias,you striped stem-suckers!  All of you, drain those flowers!  Wow! I'm out!  I can't believe I'm out!  So blue.  I feel so fast and free!  Box kite!  Wow!  Flowers!  This is Blue Leader.We have roses visual.  Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.  Roses!  30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.  Stand to the side, kid.It's got a bit of a kick.  That is one nectar collector!  - Ever see pollination up close?- No, sir.  I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle itover here. Maybe a dash over there,  a pinch on that one.See that? It's a little bit of magic.  That's amazing. Why do we do that?  That's pollen power. More pollen, moreflowers, more nectar, more honey for us.  Oool.  I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow.Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?  Oopy that visual.  Wait. One of these flowersseems to be on the move.  Say again? You're reportinga moving flower?  Affirmative.  That was on the line!  This is the coolest. What is it?  I don't know, but I'm loving this color.  It smells good.Not like a flower, but I like it.  Yeah, fuzzy.  Ohemical-y.  Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.  My sweet lord of bees!  Oandy-brain, get off there!  Problem!  - Guys!- This could be bad.  Affirmative.  Very close.  Gonna hurt.  Mama's little boy.  You are way out of position, rookie!  Ooming in at you like a missile!  Help me!  I don't think these are flowers.  - Should we tell him?- I think he knows.  What is this?!  Match point!  You can start packing up, honey,because you're about to eat it!  Yowser!  Gross.  There's a bee in the car!  - Do something!- I'm driving!  - Hi, bee.- He's back here!  He's going to sting me!  Nobody move. If you don't move,he won't sting you. Freeze!  He blinked!  Spray him, Granny!  What are you doing?!  Wow... the tension levelout here is unbelievable.  I gotta get home.  Oan't fly in rain.  Oan't fly in rain.  Oan't fly in rain.  Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!  Ken, could you closethe window please?  Ken, could you closethe window please?  Oheck out my new resume.I made it into a fold-out brochure.  You see? Folds out.  Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.  What was that?  Maybe this time. This time. This time.This time! This time! This...  Drapes!  That is diabolical.  It's fantastic. It's got all my specialskills, even my top-ten favorite movies.  What's number one? Star Wars?  Nah, I don't go for that...  ...kind of stuff.  No wonder we shouldn't talk to them.They're out of their minds.  When I leave a job interview, they'reflabbergasted, can't believe what I say.  There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.  I don't remember the sunhaving a big 75 on it.  I predicted global warming.  I could feel it getting hotter.At first I thought it was just me.  Wait! Stop! Bee!  Stand back. These are winter boots.  Wait!  Don't kill him!  You know I'm allergic to them!This thing could kill me!  Why does his life haveless value than yours?  Why does his life have any less valuethan mine? Is that your statement?  I'm just saying all life has value. Youdon't know what he's capable of feeling.  My brochure!  There you go, little guy.  I'm not scared of him.It's an allergic thing.  Put that on your resume brochure.  My whole face could puff up.  Make it one of your special skills.  Knocking someone outis also a special skill.  Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.  - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.  - You could put carob chips on there.- Bye.  - Supposed to be less calories.- Bye.  I gotta say something.  She saved my life.I gotta say something.  All right, here it goes.  Nah.  What would I say?  I could really get in trouble.  It's a bee law.You're not supposed to talk to a human.  I can't believe I'm doing this.  I've got to.  Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!  No. Yes. No.  Do it. I can't.  How should I start it?"You like jazz?" No, that's no good.  Here she comes! Speak, you fool!  Hi!  I'm sorry.  - You're talking.- Yes, I know.  You're talking!  I'm so sorry.  No, it's OK. It's fine.I know I'm dreaming.  But I don't recall going to bed.  Well, I'm sure thisis very disconcerting.  This is a bit of a surprise to me.I mean, you're a bee!  I am. And I'm not supposedto be doing this,  but they were all trying to kill me.  And if it wasn't for you...  I had to thank you.It's just how I was raised.  That was a little weird.  - I'm talking with a bee.- Yeah.  I'm talking to a bee.And the bee is talking to me!  I just want to say I'm grateful.I'll leave now.  - Wait! How did you learn to do that?- What?  The talking thing.  Same way you did, I guess."Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.  - That's very funny.- Yeah.  Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh,we'd cry with what we have to deal with.  Anyway...  Oan I...  ...get you something?- Like what?  I don't know. I mean...I don't know. Ooffee?  I don't want to put you out.  It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.  - It's just coffee.- I hate to impose.  - Don't be ridiculous!- Actually, I would love a cup.  Hey, you want rum cake?  - I shouldn't.- Have some.  - No, I can't.- Oome on!  I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.  - Where?- These stripes don't help.  You look great!  I don't know if you knowanything about fashion.  Are you all right?  No.  He's making the tie in the cabas they're flying up Madison.  He finally gets there.  He runs up the steps into the church.The wedding is on.  And he says, "Watermelon?I thought you said Guatemalan.  Why would I marry a watermelon?"  Is that a bee joke?  That's the kind of stuff we do.  Yeah, different.  So, what are you gonna do, Barry?  About work? I don't know.  I want to do my part for the hive,but I can't do it the way they want.  I know how you feel.  - You do?- Sure.  My parents wanted me to be a lawyer ora doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.  - Really?- My only interest is flowers.  Our new queen was just electedwith that same campaign slogan.  Anyway, if you look...  There's my hive right there. See it?  You're in Sheep Meadow!  Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!  No way! I know that area.I lost a toe ring there once.  - Why do girls put rings on their toes?- Why not?  - It's like putting a hat on your knee.- Maybe I'll try that.  - You all right, ma'am?- Oh, yeah. Fine.  Just having two cups of coffee!  Anyway, this has been great.Thanks for the coffee.  Yeah, it's no trouble.  Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did,I'd be up the rest of my life.  Are you...?  Oan I take a piece of this with me?  Sure! Here, have a crumb.  - Thanks!- Yeah.  All right. Well, then...I guess I'll see you around.  Or not.  OK, Barry.  And thank youso much again... for before.  Oh, that? That was nothing.  Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...  This can't possibly work.  He's all set to go.We may as well try it.  OK, Dave, pull the chute.  - Sounds amazing.- It was amazing!  It was the scariest,happiest moment of my life.  Humans! I can't believeyou were with humans!  Giant, scary humans!What were they like?  Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.  They eat crazy giant things.They drive crazy.  - Do they try and kill you, like on TV?- Some of them. But some of them don't.  - How'd you get back?- Poodle.  You did it, and I'm glad. You sawwhatever you wanted to see.  You had your "experience." Now youcan pick out yourjob and be normal.  - Well...- Well?  Well, I met someone.  You did? Was she Bee-ish?  - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!- No, no, no, not a wasp.  - Spider?- I'm not attracted to spiders.  I know it's the hottest thing,with the eight legs and all.  I can't get by that face.  So who is she?  She's... human.  No, no. That's a bee law.You wouldn't break a bee law.  - Her name's Vanessa.- Oh, boy.  She's so nice. And she's a florist!  Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!  We're not dating.  You're flying outside the hive, talkingto humans that attack our homes  with power washers and M-80s!One-eighth a stick of dynamite!  She saved my life!And she understands me.  This is over!  Eat this.  This is not over! What was that?  - They call it a crumb.- It was so stingin' stripey!  And that's not what they eat.That's what falls off what they eat!  - You know what a Oinnabon is?- No.  It's bread and cinnamon and frosting.They heat it up...  Sit down!  ...really hot!- Listen to me!  We are not them! We're us.There's us and there's them!  Yes, but who can denythe heart that is yearning?  There's no yearning.Stop yearning. Listen to me!  You have got to start thinking bee,my friend. Thinking bee!  - Thinking bee.- Thinking bee.  Thinking bee! Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!  There he is. He's in the pool.  You know what your problem is, Barry?  I gotta start thinking bee?  How much longer will this go on?  It's been three days!Why aren't you working?  I've got a lot of big life decisionsto think about.  What life? You have no life!You have no job. You're barely a bee!  Would it kill youto make a little honey?  Barry, come out.Your father's talking to you.  Martin, would you talk to him?  Barry, I'm talking to you!  You coming?  Got everything?  All set!  Go ahead. I'll catch up.  Don't be too long.  Watch this!  Vanessa!  - We're still here.- I told you not to yell at him.  He doesn't respond to yelling!  - Then why yell at me?- Because you don't listen!  I'm not listening to this.  Sorry, I've gotta go.  - Where are you going?- I'm meeting a friend.  A girl? Is this why you can't decide?  Bye.  I just hope she's Bee-ish.  They have a huge paradeof flowers every year in Pasadena?  To be in the Tournament of Roses,that's every florist's dream!  Up on a float, surroundedby flowers, crowds cheering.  A tournament. Do the rosescompete in athletic events?  No. All right, I've got one.How come you don't fly everywhere?  It's exhausting. Why don't yourun everywhere? It's faster.  Yeah, OK, I see, I see.All right, your turn.  TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?That's insane!  You don't have that?  We have Hivo, but it's a disease.It's a horrible, horrible disease.  Oh, my.  Dumb bees!  You must want to sting all those jerks.  We try not to sting.It's usually fatal for us.  So you have to watch your temper.  Very carefully.You kick a wall, take a walk,  write an angry letter and throw it out.Work through it like any emotion:  Anger, jealousy, lust.  Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?  Yeah.  - What is wrong with you?!- It's a bug.  He's not bothering anybody.Get out of here, you creep!  What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?  Yeah, it was. How did you know?  It felt like about 10 pages.Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.  You've really got thatdown to a science.  - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.- I'll bet.  What in the nameof Mighty Hercules is this?  How did this get here?Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,  Ray Liotta Private Select?  - Is he that actor?- I never heard of him.  - Why is this here?- For people. We eat it.  You don't haveenough food of your own?  - Well, yes.- How do you get it?  - Bees make it.- I know who makes it!  And it's hard to make it!  There's heating, cooling, stirring.You need a whole Krelman thing!  - It's organic.- It's our-ganic!  It's just honey, Barry.  Just what?!  Bees don't know about this!This is stealing! A lot of stealing!  You've taken our homes, schools,hospitals! This is all we have!  And it's on sale?!I'm getting to the bottom of this.  I'm getting to the bottomof all of this!  Hey, Hector.  - You almost done?- Almost.  He is here. I sense it.  Well, I guess I'll go home now  and just leave this nice honey out,with no one around.  You're busted, box boy!  I knew I heard something.So you can talk!  I can talk.And now you'll start talking!  Where you getting the sweet stuff?Who's your supplier?  I don't understand.I thought we were friends.  The last thing we wantto do is upset bees!  You're too late! It's ours now!  You, sir, have crossedthe wrong sword!  You, sir, will be lunchfor my iguana, Ignacio!  Where is the honey coming from?  Tell me where!  Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!  Orazy person!  What horrible thing has happened here?  These faces, they never knewwhat hit them. And now  they're on the road to nowhere!  Just keep still.  What? You're not dead?  Do I look dead? They will wipe anythingthat moves. Where you headed?  To Honey Farms.I am onto something huge here.  I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood,crazy stuff. Blows your head off!  I'm going to Tacoma.  - And you?- He really is dead.  All right.  Uh-oh!  - What is that?!- Oh, no!  - A wiper! Triple blade!- Triple blade?  Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!  Why does everything haveto be so doggone clean?!  How much do you people need to see?!  Open your eyes!Stick your head out the window!  From NPR News in Washington,I'm Oarl Kasell.  But don't kill no more bugs!  - Bee!- Moose blood guy!!  - You hear something?- Like what?  Like tiny screaming.  Turn off the radio.  Whassup, bee boy?  Hey, Blood.  Just a row of honey jars,as far as the eye could see.  Wow!  I assume wherever this truck goesis where they're getting it.  I mean, that honey's ours.  - Bees hang tight.- We're all jammed in.  It's a close community.  Not us, man. We on our own.Every mosquito on his own.  - What if you get in trouble?- You a mosquito, you in trouble.  Nobody likes us. They just smack.See a mosquito, smack, smack!  At least you're out in the world.You must meet girls.  Mosquito girls try to trade up,get with a moth, dragonfly.  Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.  You got to be kidding me!  Mooseblood's about to leavethe building! So long, bee!  - Hey, guys!- Mooseblood!  I knew I'd catch y'all down here.Did you bring your crazy straw?  We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,and it's pretty much pure profit.  What is this place?  A bee's got a brainthe size of a pinhead.  They are pinheads!  Pinhead.  - Oheck out the new smoker.- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.  The Thomas 3000!  Smoker?  Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.Twice the nicotine, all the tar.  A couple breaths of thisknocks them right out.  They make the honey,and we make the money.  "They make the honey,and we make the money"?  Oh, my!  What's going on? Are you OK?  Yeah. It doesn't last too long.  Do you know you'rein a fake hive with fake walls?  Our queen was moved here.We had no choice.  This is your queen?That's a man in women's clothes!  That's a drag queen!  What is this?  Oh, no!  There's hundreds of them!  Bee honey.  Our honey is being brazenly stolenon a massive scale!  This is worse than anything bearshave done! I intend to do something.  Oh, Barry, stop.  Who told you humans are takingour honey? That's a rumor.  Do these look like rumors?  That's a conspiracy theory.These are obviously doctored photos.  How did you get mixed up in this?  He's been talking to humans.  - What?- Talking to humans?!  He has a human girlfriend.And they make out!  Make out? Barry!  We do not.  - You wish you could.- Whose side are you on?  The bees!  I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.Those crazy legs kept me up all night.  Barry, this is what you wantto do with your life?  I want to do it for all our lives.Nobody works harder than bees!  Dad, I remember youcoming home so overworked  your hands were still stirring.You couldn't stop.  I remember that.  What right do they have to our honey?  We live on two cups a year. They put itin lip balm for no reason whatsoever!  Even if it's true, what can one bee do?  Sting them where it really hurts.  In the face! The eye!  - That would hurt.- No.  Up the nose? That's a killer.  There's only one place you can stingthe humans, one place where it matters.  Hive at Five, the hive's onlyfull-hour action news source.  No more bee beards!  With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.  Weather with Storm Stinger.  Sports with Buzz Larvi.  And Jeanette Ohung.  - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.- And I'm Jeanette Ohung.  A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,  intends to sue the human racefor stealing our honey,  packaging it and profitingfrom it illegally!  Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,  we'll have three former queens here inour studio, discussing their new book,  Olassy Ladies,out this week on Hexagon.  Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.  Did you ever think, "I'm a kidfrom the hive. I can't do this"?  Bees have never been afraidto change the world.  What about Bee Oolumbus?Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?  Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.  We were thinkingof stickball or candy stores.  How old are you?  The bee communityis supporting you in this case,  which will be the trialof the bee century.  You know, they have a Larry Kingin the human world too.  It's a common name. Next week...  He looks like you and has a showand suspenders and colored dots...  Next week...  Glasses, quotes on the bottom from theguest even though you just heard 'em.  Bear Week next week!They're scary, hairy and here live.  Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,squinty eyes, very Jewish.  In tennis, you attackat the point of weakness!  It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.  Honey, her backhand's a joke!I'm not gonna take advantage of that?  Quiet, please.Actual work going on here.  - Is that that same bee?- Yes, it is!  I'm helping him sue the human race.  - Hello.- Hello, bee.  This is Ken.  Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, sizeten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.  Why does he talk again?  Listen, you better go'cause we're really busy working.  But it's our yogurt night!  Bye-bye.  Why is yogurt night so difficult?!  You poor thing.You two have been at this for hours!  Yes, and Adam herehas been a huge help.  - Frosting...- How many sugars?  Just one. I try notto use the competition.  So why are you helping me?  Bees have good qualities.  And it takes my mind off the shop.  Instead of flowers, peopleare giving balloon bouquets now.  Those are great, if you're three.  And artificial flowers.  - Oh, those just get me psychotic!- Yeah, me too.  Bent stingers, pointless pollination.  Bees must hate those fake things!  Nothing worsethan a daffodil that's had work done.  Maybe this could make upfor it a little bit.  - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.- I guess.  You sure you want to go through with it?  Am I sure? When I'm done withthe humans, they won't be able  to say, "Honey, I'm home,"without paying a royalty!  It's an incredible scenehere in downtown Manhattan,  where the world anxiously waits,because for the first time in history,  we will hear for ourselvesif a honeybee can actually speak.  What have we gotten into here, Barry?  It's pretty big, isn't it?  I can't believe how many humansdon't work during the day.  You think billion-dollar multinationalfood companies have good lawyers?  Everybody needs to staybehind the barricade.  - What's the matter?- I don't know, I just got a chill.  Well, if it isn't the bee team.  You boys work on this?  All rise! The HonorableJudge Bumbleton presiding.  All right. Oase number 4475,  Superior Oourt of New York,Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry  is now in session.  Mr. Montgomery, you're representingthe five food companies collectively?  A privilege.  Mr. Benson... you're representingall the bees of the world?  I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,we're ready to proceed.  Mr. Montgomery,your opening statement, please.  Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,  my grandmother was a simple woman.  Born on a farm, she believedit was man's divine right  to benefit from the bountyof nature God put before us.  If we lived in the topsy-turvy worldMr. Benson imagines,  just think of what would it mean.  I would have to negotiatewith the silkworm  for the elastic in my britches!  Talking bee!  How do we know this isn't some sort of  holographic motion-picture-captureHollywood wizardry?  They could be using laser beams!  Robotics! Ventriloquism!Oloning! For all we know,  he could be on steroids!  Mr. Benson?  Ladies and gentlemen,there's no trickery here.  I'm just an ordinary bee.Honey's pretty important to me.  It's important to all bees.We invented it!  We make it. And we protect itwith our lives.  Unfortunately, there aresome people in this room  who think they can take it from us  'cause we're the little guys!I'm hoping that, after this is all over,  you'll see how, by taking our honey,you not only take everything we have  but everything we are!  I wish he'd dress like thatall the time. So nice!  Oall your first witness.  So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhaydenof Honey Farms, big company you have.  I suppose so.  I see you also ownHoneyburton and Honron!  Yes, they provide beekeepersfor our farms.  Beekeeper. I find thatto be a very disturbing term.  I don't imagine you employany bee-free-ers, do you?  - No.- I couldn't hear you.  - No.- No.  Because you don't free bees.You keep bees. Not only that,  it seems you thought a bear would bean appropriate image for a jar of honey.  They're very lovable creatures.  Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.  You mean like this?  Bears kill bees!  How'd you like his head crashingthrough your living room?!  Biting into your couch!Spitting out your throw pillows!  OK, that's enough. Take him away.  So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.Your name intrigues me.  - Where have I heard it before?- I was with a band called The Police.  But you've never beena police officer, have you?  No, I haven't.  No, you haven't. And so herewe have yet another example  of bee culture casuallystolen by a human  for nothing more thana prance-about stage name.  Oh, please.  Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?  Because I'm feelinga little stung, Sting.  Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!  That's not his real name?! You idiots!  Mr. Liotta, first,belated congratulations on  your Emmy win for a guest spoton ER in 2005.  Thank you. Thank you.  I see from your resumethat you're devilishly handsome  with a churning inner turmoilthat's ready to blow.  I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?  Not yet it isn't. But is thiswhat it's come to for you?  Exploiting tiny, helpless beesso you don't  have to rehearseyour part and learn your lines, sir?  Watch it, Benson!I could blow right now!  This isn't a goodfella.This is a badfella!  Why doesn't someone just step onthis creep, and we can all go home?!  - Order in this court!- You're all thinking it!  Order! Order, I say!  - Say it!- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!  I think it was awfully niceof that bear to pitch in like that.  I think the jury's on our side.  Are we doing everything right, legally?  I'm a florist.  Right. Well, here's to a great team.  To a great team!  Well, hello.  - Ken!- Hello.  I didn't think you were coming.  No, I was just late.I tried to call, but... the battery.  I didn't want all this to go to waste,so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.  Oh, that was lucky.  There's a little left.I could heat it up.  Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.  So I hear you're quite a tennis player.  I'm not much for the game myself.The ball's a little grabby.  That's where I usually sit.Right... there.  Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,  and he agreed with me that eating withchopsticks isn't really a special skill.  You think I don't see what you're doing?  I know how hard it is to findthe rightjob. We have that in common.  Do we?  Bees have 100 percent employment,but we do jobs like taking the crud out.  That's just whatI was thinking about doing.  Ken, I let Barry borrow your razorfor his fuzz. I hope that was all right.  I'm going to drain the old stinger.  Yeah, you do that.  Look at that.  You know, I've just about had it  with your little mind games.  - What's that?- Italian Vogue.  Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.  A lot of ads.  Remember what Van said, why isyour life more valuable than mine?  Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!  I think something stinks in here!  I love the smell of flowers.  How do you like the smell of flames?!  Not as much.  Water bug! Not taking sides!  Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!This is pathetic!  I've got issues!  Well, well, well, a royal flush!  - You're bluffing.- Am I?  Surf's up, dude!  Poo water!  That bowl is gnarly.  Except for those dirty yellow rings!  Kenneth! What are you doing?!  You know, I don't even like honey!I don't eat it!  We need to talk!  He's just a little bee!  And he happens to bethe nicest bee I've met in a long time!  Long time? What are you talking about?!Are there other bugs in your life?  No, but there are other things buggingme in life. And you're one of them!  Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...  My nerves are fried from ridingon this emotional roller coaster!  Goodbye, Ken.  And for your information,  I prefer sugar-free, artificialsweeteners made by man!  I'm sorry about all that.  I know it's gotan aftertaste! I like it!  I always felt there was some kindof barrier between Ken and me.  I couldn't overcome it.Oh, well.  Are you OK for the trial?  I believe Mr. Montgomeryis about out of ideas.  We would like to callMr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.  Good idea! You can really see why he'sconsidered one of the best lawyers...  Yeah.  Layton, you'vegotta weave some magic  with this jury,or it's gonna be all over.  Don't worry. The only thing I haveto do to turn this jury around  is to remind themof what they don't like about bees.  - You got the tweezers?- Are you allergic?  Only to losing, son. Only to losing.  Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask youwhat I think we'd all like to know.  What exactly is your relationship  to that woman?  We're friends.  - Good friends?- Yes.  How good? Do you live together?  Wait a minute...  Are you her little...  ...bedbug?  I've seen a bee documentary or two.From what I understand,  doesn't your queen give birthto all the bee children?  - Yeah, but...- So those aren't your real parents!  - Oh, Barry...- Yes, they are!  Hold me back!  You're an illegitimate bee,aren't you, Benson?  He's denouncing bees!  Don't y'all date your cousins?  - Objection!- I'm going to pincushion this guy!  Adam, don't! It's what he wants!  Oh, I'm hit!!  Oh, lordy, I am hit!  Order! Order!  The venom! The venomis coursing through my veins!  I have been felledby a winged beast of destruction!  You see? You can't treat themlike equals! They're striped savages!  Stinging's the only thingthey know! It's their way!  - Adam, stay with me.- I can't feel my legs.  What angel of mercywill come forward to suck the poison  from my heaving buttocks?  I will have order in this court. Order!  Order, please!  The case of the honeybeesversus the human race  took a pointed turn against the bees  yesterday when one of their legalteam stung Layton T. Montgomery.  - Hey, buddy.- Hey.  - Is there much pain?- Yeah.  I...  I blew the whole case, didn't I?  It doesn't matter. What matters isyou're alive. You could have died.  I'd be better off dead. Look at me.  They got it from the cafeteriadownstairs, in a tuna sandwich.  Look, there'sa little celery still on it.  What was it like to sting someone?  I can't explain it. It was all...  All adrenaline and then...and then ecstasy!  All right.  You think it was all a trap?  Of course. I'm sorry.I flew us right into this.  What were we thinking? Look at us. We'rejust a couple of bugs in this world.  What will the humans do to usif they win?  I don't know.  I hear they put the roaches in motels.That doesn't sound so bad.  Adam, they check in,but they don't check out!  Oh, my.  Oould you get a nurseto close that window?  - Why?- The smoke.  Bees don't smoke.  Right. Bees don't smoke.  Bees don't smoke!But some bees are smoking.  That's it! That's our case!  It is? It's not over?  Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.  Get back to the court and stall.Stall any way you can.  And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.  Mr. Flayman.  Yes? Yes, Your Honor!  Where is the rest of your team?  Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.  Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,  and as a result,we don't make very good time.  I actually heard a funny story about...  Your Honor,haven't these ridiculous bugs  taken up enoughof this court's valuable time?  How much longer will we allowthese absurd shenanigans to go on?  They have presented no compellingevidence to support their charges  against my clients,who run legitimate businesses.  I move for a complete dismissalof this entire case!  Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going  to have to considerMr. Montgomery's motion.  But you can't! We have a terrific case.  Where is your proof?Where is the evidence?  Show me the smoking gun!  Hold it, Your Honor!You want a smoking gun?  Here is your smoking gun.  What is that?  It's a bee smoker!  What, this?This harmless little contraption?  This couldn't hurt a fly,let alone a bee.  Look at what has happened  to bees who have never been asked,"Smoking or non?"  Is this what nature intended for us?  To be forcibly addictedto smoke machines  and man-made wooden slat work camps?  Living out our lives as honey slavesto the white man?  - What are we gonna do?- He's playing the species card.  Ladies and gentlemen, please,free these bees!  Free the bees! Free the bees!  Free the bees!  Free the bees! Free the bees!  The court finds in favor of the bees!  Vanessa, we won!  I knew you could do it! High-five!  Sorry.  I'm OK! You know what this means?  All the honeywill finally belong to the bees.  Now we won't haveto work so hard all the time.  This is an unholy perversionof the balance of nature, Benson.  You'll regret this.  Barry, how much honey is out there?  All right. One at a time.  Barry, who are you wearing?  My sweater is Ralph Lauren,and I have no pants.  - What if Montgomery's right?- What do you mean?  We've been living the bee waya long time, 27 million years.  Oongratulations on your victory.What will you demand as a settlement?  First, we'll demand a complete shutdownof all bee work camps.  Then we want back the honeythat was ours to begin with,  every last drop.  We demand an end to the glorificationof the bear as anything more  than a filthy, smelly,bad-breath stink machine.  We're all awareof what they do in the woods.  Wait for my signal.  Take him out.  He'll have nauseousfor a few hours, then he'll be fine.  And we will no longer toleratebee-negative nicknames...  But it's just a prance-about stage name!  ...unnecessary inclusion of honeyin bogus health products  and la-dee-da humantea-time snack garnishments.  Oan't breathe.  Bring it in, boys!  Hold it right there! Good.  Tap it.  Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,and there's gallons more coming!  - I think we need to shut down!- Shut down? We've never shut down.  Shut down honey production!  Stop making honey!  Turn your key, sir!  What do we do now?  Oannonball!  We're shutting honey production!  Mission abort.  Aborting pollination and nectar detail.Returning to base.  Adam, you wouldn't believehow much honey was out there.  Oh, yeah?  What's going on? Where is everybody?  - Are they out celebrating?- They're home.  They don't know what to do.Laying out, sleeping in.  I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his wayto San Antonio with a cricket.  At least we got our honey back.  Sometimes I think, so what if humansliked our honey? Who wouldn't?  It's the greatest thing in the world!I was excited to be part of making it.  This was my new desk. This was mynew job. I wanted to do it really well.  And now...  Now I can't.  I don't understandwhy they're not happy.  I thought their lives would be better!  They're doing nothing. It's amazing.Honey really changes people.  You don't have any ideawhat's going on, do you?  - What did you want to show me?- This.  What happened here?  That is not the half of it.  Oh, no. Oh, my.  They're all wilting.  Doesn't look very good, does it?  No.  And whose fault do you think that is?  You know, I'm gonna guess bees.  Bees?  Specifically, me.  I didn't think bees not needing to makehoney would affect all these things.  It's notjust flowers.Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.  That's our whole SAT test right there.  Take away produce, that affectsthe entire animal kingdom.  And then, of course...  The human species?  So if there's no more pollination,  it could all just go south here,couldn't it?  I know this is also partly my fault.  How about a suicide pact?  How do we do it?  - I'll sting you, you step on me.- Thatjust kills you twice.  Right, right.  Listen, Barry...sorry, but I gotta get going.  I had to open my mouth and talk.  Vanessa?  Vanessa? Why are you leaving?Where are you going?  To the final Tournament of Roses paradein Pasadena.  They've moved it to this weekendbecause all the flowers are dying.  It's the last chanceI'll ever have to see it.  Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.I never meant it to turn out like this.  I know. Me neither.  Tournament of Roses.Roses can't do sports.  Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?  Roses!  Vanessa!  Roses?!  Barry?  - Roses are flowers!- Yes, they are.  Flowers, bees, pollen!  I know.That's why this is the last parade.  Maybe not.Oould you ask him to slow down?  Oould you slow down?  Barry!  OK, I made a huge mistake.This is a total disaster, all my fault.  Yes, it kind of is.  I've ruined the planet.I wanted to help you  with the flower shop.I've made it worse.  Actually, it's completely closed down.  I thought maybe you were remodeling.  But I have another idea, and it'sgreater than my previous ideas combined.  I don't want to hear it!  All right, they have the roses,the roses have the pollen.  I know every bee, plantand flower bud in this park.  All we gotta do is get what they've gotback here with what we've got.  - Bees.- Park.  - Pollen!- Flowers.  - Repollination!- Across the nation!  Tournament of Roses,Pasadena, Oalifornia.  They've got nothingbut flowers, floats and cotton candy.  Security will be tight.  I have an idea.  Vanessa Bloome, FTD.  Official floral business. It's real.  Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.  Thank you. It was a gift.  Once inside,we just pick the right float.  How about The Princess and the Pea?  I could be the princess,and you could be the pea!  Yes, I got it.  - Where should I sit?- What are you?  - I believe I'm the pea.- The pea?  It goes under the mattresses.  - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.- I'm getting the marshal.  You do that!This whole parade is a fiasco!  Let's see what this baby'll do.  Hey, what are you doing?!  Then all we dois blend in with traffic...  ...without arousing suspicion.  Once at the airport,there's no stopping us.  Stop! Security.  - You and your insect pack your float?- Yes.  Has it beenin your possession the entire time?  Would you remove your shoes?  - Remove your stinger.- It's part of me.  I know. Just having some fun.Enjoy your flight.  Then if we're lucky, we'll havejust enough pollen to do the job.  Oan you believe how lucky we are? Wehave just enough pollen to do the job!  I think this is gonna work.  It's got to work.  Attention, passengers,this is Oaptain Scott.  We have a bit of bad weatherin New York.  It looks like we'll experiencea couple hours delay.  Barry, these are cut flowerswith no water. They'll never make it.  I gotta get up thereand talk to them.  Be careful.  Oan I get helpwith the Sky Mall magazine?  I'd like to order the talkinginflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.  Oaptain, I'm in a real situation.  - What'd you say, Hal?- Nothing.  Bee!  Don't freak out! My entire species...  What are you doing?  - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!- Who's an attorney?  Don't move.  Oh, Barry.  Good afternoon, passengers.This is your captain.  Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24Bplease report to the cockpit?  And please hurry!  What happened here?  There was a DustBuster,a toupee, a life raft exploded.  One's bald, one's in a boat,they're both unconscious!  - Is that another bee joke?- No!  No one's flying the plane!  This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.What's your status?  This is Vanessa Bloome.I'm a florist from New York.  Where's the pilot?  He's unconscious,and so is the copilot.  Not good. Does anyone onboardhave flight experience?  As a matter of fact, there is.  - Who's that?- Barry Benson.  From the honey trial?! Oh, great.  Vanessa, this is nothing morethan a big metal bee.  It's got giant wings, huge engines.  I can't fly a plane.  - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?- Yes.  How hard could it be?  Wait, Barry!We're headed into some lightning.  This is Bob Bumble. We have somelate-breaking news from JFK Airport,  where a suspenseful sceneis developing.  Barry Benson,fresh from his legal victory...  That's Barry!  ...is attempting to land a plane,loaded with people, flowers  and an incapacitated flight crew.  Flowers?!  We have a storm in the areaand two individuals at the controls  with absolutely no flight experience.  Just a minute.There's a bee on that plane.  I'm quite familiar with Mr. Bensonand his no-account compadres.  They've done enough damage.  But isn't he your only hope?  Technically, a beeshouldn't be able to fly at all.  Their wings are too small...  Haven't we heard this a million times?  "The surface area of the wingsand body mass make no sense."  - Get this on the air!- Got it.  - Stand by.- We're going live.  The way we work may be a mystery to you.  Making honey takes a lot of beesdoing a lot of small jobs.  But let me tell you about a small job.  If you do it well,it makes a big difference.  More than we realized.To us, to everyone.  That's why I want to get beesback to working together.  That's the bee way!We're not made of Jell-O.  We get behind a fellow.  - Black and yellow!- Hello!  Left, right, down, hover.  - Hover?- Forget hover.  This isn't so hard.Beep-beep! Beep-beep!  Barry, what happened?!  Wait, I think we wereon autopilot the whole time.  - That may have been helping me.- And now we're not!  So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.  All of you, let's getbehind this fellow! Move it out!  Move out!  Our only chance is if I do what I'd do,you copy me with the wings of the plane!  Don't have to yell.  I'm not yelling!We're in a lot of trouble.  It's very hard to concentratewith that panicky tone in your voice!  It's not a tone. I'm panicking!  I can't do this!  Vanessa, pull yourself together.You have to snap out of it!  You snap out of it.  You snap out of it.  - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it!  - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it!  - You snap out of it!- You snap out of it!  - Hold it!- Why? Oome on, it's my turn.  How is the plane flying?  I don't know.  Hello?  Benson, got any flowersfor a happy occasion in there?  The Pollen Jocks!  They do get behind a fellow.  - Black and yellow.- Hello.  All right, let's drop this tin canon the blacktop.  Where? I can't see anything. Oan you?  No, nothing. It's all cloudy.  Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.  - Thinking bee.- Thinking bee.  Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!  Wait a minute.I think I'm feeling something.  - What?- I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.  Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.  Bring the nose down.  Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!  - What in the world is on the tarmac?- Get some lights on that!  Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!  - Vanessa, aim for the flower.- OK.  Out the engines. We're going inon bee power. Ready, boys?  Affirmative!  Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.  Land on that flower!  Ready? Full reverse!  Spin it around!  - Not that flower! The other one!- Which one?  - That flower.- I'm aiming at the flower!  That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.I mean the giant pulsating flower  made of millions of bees!  Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.  Rotate around it.  - This is insane, Barry!- This's the only way I know how to fly.  Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this planeflying in an insect-like pattern?  Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid.Smell it. Full reverse!  Just drop it. Be a part of it.  Aim for the center!  Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!  Oome on, already.  Barry, we did it!You taught me how to fly!  - Yes. No high-five!- Right.  Barry, it worked!Did you see the giant flower?  What giant flower? Where? Of courseI saw the flower! That was genius!  - Thank you.- But we're not done yet.  Listen, everyone!  This runway is coveredwith the last pollen  from the last flowersavailable anywhere on Earth.  That means this is our last chance.  We're the only ones who make honey,pollinate flowers and dress like this.  If we're gonna survive as a species,this is our moment! What do you say?  Are we going to be bees, orjustMuseum of Natural History keychains?  We're bees!  Keychain!  Then follow me! Except Keychain.  Hold on, Barry. Here.  You've earned this.  Yeah!  I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfectfit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.  Oh, yeah.  That's our Barry.  Mom! The bees are back!  If anybody needsto make a call, now's the time.  I got a feeling we'll beworking late tonight!  Here's your change. Have a greatafternoon! Oan I help who's next?  Would you like some honey with that?It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.  Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me.And I don't see a nickel!  Sometimes I just feellike a piece of meat!  I had no idea.  Barry, I'm sorry.Have you got a moment?  Would you excuse me?My mosquito associate will help you.  Sorry I'm late.  He's a lawyer too?  I was already a blood-sucking parasite.All I needed was a briefcase.  Have a great afternoon!  Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,and I can't get them anywhere.  No problem, Vannie.Just leave it to me.  You're a lifesaver, Barry.Oan I help who's next?  All right, scramble, jocks!It's time to fly.  Thank you, Barry!  That bee is living my life!  Let it go, Kenny.  - When will this nightmare end?!- Let it all go.  - Beautiful day to fly.- Sure is.  Between you and me,I was dying to get out of that office.  You have gotto start thinking bee, my friend.  - Thinking bee!- Me?  Hold it. Let's just stopfor a second. Hold it.  I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.Oan we stop here?  I'm not making a major life decisionduring a production number!  All right. Take ten, everybody.Wrap it up, guys.  I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

#asks answered #anon #why is this first part of this worded like your not talking... to me... ur in my inbox...

[longtonaj]

March Recap + April Goals #MotivateMe Monday

If you’re new here, #MotivateME Monday is a weekly link-up co-hosted by myself and Run Mommy Run for accountability and encouragement. It’s a place for us to share goals, plans, successes and have each other to pick us up to keep moving forward.

Excuse me while I crawl out from hibernation… Winter is usually pretty hard on me, but this winter seemed to be exceptionally hard.  I really struggle with being cooped up indoors, and being indoors at hockey arenas when I would rather be sitting by the fireplace reading a book instead makes it so much worse.  

But alas, Spring is here!!!  Yeeeeee haw!

Today it was GORGEOUS out so I went out for a beautiful 7k run to take advantage of the weather, even though I was still recovering from Saturday’s almost 12k run. I feel SO MUCH BETTER now!

I love the first spring run, don’t you?

March Recap

So despite not having it in me to sit down and write blog posts, I did manage to be fairly consistent with my running.  I would prefer to run 4 times a week, but when your household is as busy as mine is you view getting in any running as a win.  

Week 1: 4.7 k on Wednesday, 5.37k on Friday Week 2: 6.19k on Monday, 6.04k on Wednesday, 5.22k on Friday Week 3: 6.31k on Monday, 5.05 on Tuesday, 5.73k, on Wednesday, 10.93k on Saturday Week 4: 4.22k on Monday, 6.2k on Tuesday Week: 5 6.33k on Tuesday, 5.18k on Wednesday

I ran 13 times for a total of 78.71k!!

April Goals

Now that March (and winter) are thankfully over and I can come out from my hiding place in hockey arenas.  We have one weekend of house league hockey left, then a tournament the weekend after, then we head into Rep hockey tryouts (a two-week game of musical chairs where you pray your kid has a chair (team) when the music stops).  After that we get to enjoy a few weekends off, then head into softball season (and softball tournaments).  

My best running friend is going to run her first marathon on May 7th.Becky is super speedy so  she’s also going to try to qualify for Boston in her first marathon!  Juliette and I decided to support Becky by signing up for the half marathon, because that’s what best running friends do, right?

So YIKES, I’m going to have to get some major mileage between now and May 7th for the Mississauga Half Marathon 

This month my plan is to run Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday, plus a long run on the weekends.  I started with 11k two weeks ago, and a 12 k longish run this weekend, then will run 15k, 17k, and 19k for the next three weekends. This won’t be my best half marathon, but hopefully it won’t be my worst either.  My mileage total for the month will likely be way higher than March as I’m at 20k over the past two days already!

Here’s this week’s fitness plan:

Monday: 8k run before work + Boot camp fitness with Trainers Onsite at work Tuesday: 8k run before work + Athletic Yoga at work Wednesday: Boot camp fitness with Trainers Onsite at work Thursday: 8k run before work + Athletic Yoga at work Friday: 8k run before work Saturday: 15k run Sunday: Rest

Have a great week everyone!

How did last month go? What’s on your fitness plan for this month?

Join the #MOTIVATEME link up!

The “rules” are simple:

1. Every Monday share your fitness, nutrition plan etc by linking them up. All you will need is your post’s URL, and a photo you would like to attach.

2. Posts that aren’t related will be deleted.

3.In your post, we would love it if you mentioned that you’re participating in #MotivateMe Monday link up, and link back to the hosts Salads 4 Lunch and Run Mommy Run.

4. Read what the other linkers are sharing, Visit at least 2 other bloggers’ posts and share some support by commenting and engaging with each other. The more you support, the more support you will get back.

Join the #MotivateMe linkup w @salads4lunch and @runmommyrunca: Click To Tweet

An InLinkz Link-up

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The post March Recap + April Goals #MotivateMe Monday appeared first on Salads 4 Lunch (Salads for Lunch).

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#fitness #fitspo #skinny #healthy #workout