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orikiys · 9 months

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✿ ✿ 〞 voicemails with minho before death knocks

✰ pairings: sick!minho x gn!reader

✰ genre: angst, romance, grief

✰ warnings: major character death, mentions of alzheimer’s illness, lots of what ifs and unsaid thoughts, forever isn’t for ever.

✰ word count: 1.2k + words

one 𖨂

hey, uhm i honestly don’t know what to say but i’ll try. so it’s five forty in the morning and i’m sending these to you. the doctors– they said i won’t be able to m-make it. . . and i want to reassure you that whatever happened wasn’t your fault. at all, my kitten. we didn’t know i had this terminal illness, and i think now is the perfect time to say those things i never said. firstly, i love you so much. more than you can imagine. and yes, even more than that tv show of mine. there’s honestly so much to say, but there’s so little time. i have only 2-3 more hours, i suppose? and i begged the doctor to not call you before i’m gone. i know this isn’t fair to you my little star, but i don’t want to see you in pain because of me, or anyone else. which is why i’m afraid of letting go of your hand. afraid that if i go, you will try to follow me blindly, do the wrong things, walk down the wrong paths and will end up losing yourself. i don’t ever want that to happen. ever. so, please don’t cry when i’m gone. i guess you can cry a bit. . . but not much. what if you end up getting a sore throat? if you do, take the medicines from the second drawer in the bathroom, okay?

two 𖨂

i’ll miss you. your goofy faces that you make, your cute little squeaks between your laughs, your beautiful eyes that always shine when you see chocolates and you. all of you. i’ll miss all of you so much. how about you? will you miss me too? will you bake your cinnamon rolls that i love so much at the funeral? or on my birthday? will you? i’m not even sure what happens after death. whether i will even remember you or not, i don’t know. but what i know is, that i’ll watch over you from up there. i’ll always watch. so don’t be afraid to step out of the house after it gets dark. and if you do, carry that pepper spray with you, okay? doesn’t it feel so surreal? me becoming a star, when i always call you my little star? i guess that’s why i’ll have to watch over you from afar. me, a big star. you, my cute little star. i’ll shine bright in the sky, i’m sure of that. so don’t you dare lose that shine on you as well, alright?

three 𖨂

it feels weird and- and scary. i’m so nervous, love. i didn’t want to die like this, never! i wanted to live a long life with you. live with our three little cats, and maybe a few mini versions of ourselves running around our house. i wanted to see you grow old. and i want to keep loving you even when you put hair brushes into the freezer and dishes in the bathroom, i want to be with you. right by your side. and even when you forget to brew your evening coffee, i want to hold your hand and guide you. and even when you keep repeating the same words three times a day, i will pretend it’s new. so that you don’t have to remember that you’re forgetting. yeah, i know it. the doctors told me you can have alzheimer’s over time, it’s highly possible. but i’m afraid i won’t be able to take care of you kitten. and i’m sorry– i really am. i wish it didn’t have to end this way.

four 𖨂

i know you. you were looking for forever. i couldn’t give you that. but i can at least take the batteries out of the clocks so that we’ll be stuck inside this moment as if time had really been stopped. so that i’ll almost get a million extra seconds to spend with you, except here seconds do not exist. it’s only the two of us. you and i. in our forever. and when i die, you can crank your watch– restart the clocks and begin the time. and know that we were infinite the moment you were mine. i’ll always be yours. always. i promise. but i want you to move on. i want you to experience love again while you’re still young. i’ll support every decision of yours from up there, and i’ll cheer on you. i don’t ever want to hold you back. nuh-uh. i want you to move forward, and even though you can look back, i don’t ever want you think you could’ve changed the past. you need to walk on a different road now. one without me. and though it hurts to say this– you need to live without me. live for us. live for the future you always wanted. live to complete those bucket lists of yours and even mine, since i couldn’t complete even a single of them. live. just live happily.

five 𖨂

it’s ten minutes past seven, and i feel sick. pain scale infinite/100. my whole body feels on fire. my hands– they wouldn’t stop trembling no matter how hard i try. my lips have turned pale, and i feel it coming. i can sense it. i can sense death waiting on the door. waiting that the moment i finish it’s going to snatch me away from you, from this world. and i’m trying to stall time. but my body doesn’t listen to me anymore. it’s become weaker and more. . . stubborn. my love. i wish i could call you that more often. my little star. my kitten. all these nicknames are the only way i survived my nights admitted in this hospital. i used to think of you. think of what you would do after i’m gone. think of what you would feel. think of who else would cry for me. and i don’t know what to do. i really don’t. i feel just so helpless. i don’t know what to do anymore. i really don’t. i hope you’re not sad because of it. please don’t be. take care of our three beautiful children okay? tell them that their father has gone to a beautiful place, show them your love, sing to them at night and take them in your arms when you feel sad. and if you ever miss me, look at the rain, or the stars or the clouds, i’ll always be here to listen. always. just as i promised.

six 𖨂

i hoped that death would be a bit kinder. i hoped she gave me some more time, some more years i could spend loving, admiring and memorizing every bit of you. but it’s always unexpected. she comes in unexpected ways and takes away our loved ones in the blink of an eye. i’m talking like a true poet now, aren’t i? give that pink letter to my parents, green one for each members and blue one for you. tell them to open that after a week, it applies to you as well, missy. be kinder to yourself. love yourself. look at the mirror and think of my compliments. felix gives the best hugs. hug him if you feel low. if you ever feel drained out like me. i’m tired now. just– so so tired. can i rest now? please? i’ll always love you regardless of whatever may come. and i’ll always be in your heart. i’m about to be a star, my love. s-signing off, yours forever.

taglist: @taeriffic

for anyone who wants to be added to the taglist either send me an ask without anon (cause it’s s taglist) or fill the form linked in my masterlist <333

#ॱଳ͘#stray kids x reader #stray kids reactions #stray kids angst #stray kids imagines #bang chan x reader #minho x reader #minho fic #changbin x reader #hyunjin x reader #han x reader #felix x reader #seungmin x reader #jeongin x reader #skz x gn reader #skz angst #skz imagines #skz scenarios

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boizandgurlzinthehouse · 7 months

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𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌, 𝐒𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐄

dream (morpheus) x sister!reader

summary: just scenarios about being dream's little sister.

warnings: nothing, maybe desire (?), but dream being EXTREMELY protective about his sister, that's all <3

– you're the youngest children of night and time, being born after a hundred years of the others. when you were born, the others were there, desire trying to play with you, but instead of letting them terrorize you, dream takes you in his arms, looking down at you. your wide, innocent eyes, the golden symbols tracing under your eyes on your soft skin, when you blink, it's like your eyes shine in golden for a second. "it's so peaceful... what is it's power?" death asked as she tried to play with her. their mother, night laying on the bed looked at them, then the baby. "it's a she, actually, dear. and she's hope. mortals gonna radiate in her presence, she'll bring light into the world." hearing these words, dream look at her mother. "mother, i..." mother night nodded. "i know, my dream. i trust you with raising her, look out for her. until she's strong enough to create her realm, she's gonna live with you."

– and from now on, dream takes you with him, and tries to give you everything. it takes a mere two hundred years for you to be powerful enough to make your own realm, but when you move there, you still spend much time in the dreaming.

– but enough from the specifics, get on the emotional side, shall we?

– dream being your brother and patron saint means that you'll be under heavy protection. he'll not let anyone harm you, and doesn't trust anyone to teach you things, except from lucienne and jessamy. as time goes by, you and his helpers, friends became a new family. you stroke jessamy's wings and feathers every time she flies to the realm of hope. "is my brother kind to you, little jessamy?" you ask from her, and you know that she's much more older than you, but you just love to bury your face into her feathers.

– after you create your realm (you create it in your dreams, how ironic), he's the first one you invite to take a look at it, and it's truly magical. dream smiles, and while he does that really rarely, in your presence, he lets himself to be happy. seeing your eyes full of shining from what you just have done, he strokes your head, giving you a hug. "i'm so proud of you, sister." besides taking care of your realm, you go down to the waking world merely often. from little things like growing the flowers of little children who believes that their tulips will grow before fall, to the big things like curing terminally ill people for the family members who's praying all day (especially that in the 1700s, there's no cure for a single pneumonia). when dream doesn't find you, he always holds the little object you gave him -a little bag of pearls, when they mix with the sand he blows out, your pearls lead him to where you are.

– like, after you picked up a baby bird from the ground, probably fallen off from it's nest, you feel a presence behind your back. stiffing a little bit, then turning and lifting your vile, weaved from gold and transparent like sunshine, you smile when you see your brother. if your vile is in front of your face, people can't see you, but if it's off, it's like you're just one of them.

– "dream! how are you?" your smile is so wide and honest, you never ever wonder when you find him coming after you; it's like you know that he's watching over you and will meet you. after helping the baby bird, you begin to walk with him. it's always unusual, you, a bright and little bit outstanding girl, and him, a tall, dark and pale man together is the duo who people turn after.

– you're always listening to him as you walk beside him, but when you're done with one of your missions from the thousands you planned yourself as usual, it's like he's the one who's asking you constantly (a/n: it's exactly the picture about a mama cat who's walking beside her kitten and looking at them). sometimes, when death is with you two, your trio is just sitting on a hill with some flowers in silence, dream and death talks about serious things, and when they turn to you, you place flower crowns on their heads you made during their conversation. then, you explain your thoughts, tilting the flower crown on dream's head back when he looks down for too long.

– dream protects you from desire of course, because he's convinced that everything his sibling says is a poison to your mind when you're adolescent. sure, when you're older, you meet desire, but you can be certain about the fact that your brother looks out for you when you're with them. looking seriously into their eyes, he growls, "if you dare to influence or persuade our sister dream to do anything, you'll never forget the day when you made that mistake. and has nothing to do with what's conflict between us, do you understand?"

– safe to say that when it comes to desire's intrigue with the vortex-story, dream considered that you're on his side of the family. he says that he's disgusted by desire, but deep down he fears that he's too strict, and one day you're gonna advocate beside them. and desire can make you do anything, even if it means that you sacrifice yourself for your family, because that's how much you love your siblings and humanity.

– dream takes great pride about how you think the same about humanity as him and death; helping them, walking among them and serving them, not laying all day in your realm and doing nothing but only bad (like desire).

when you are together, it's like you're joined at the hip –and on one side, it's better than anything, but if something bad happens... then the two of you feel it.

– (yeah, now is coming the sad part, it's also a little oneshot)

when dream gets caged in, maybe you're too young or too immature to the feelings and your family, but as much as you search for him, as much as you ask for everybody around you, they don't know where he went, you just don't understand. your first thought is that he get away because of you. and that he doesn't love you anymore, and he rather stays away from his family than to see you.

for thirty years, you cry in your realms and don't dare to go to the dreaming. your creatures try to reassure you that it's not your fault, but you're relentless. other twenty years goes away with calling him, but he just don't answer –the most painful in the whole thing that he hears you the entire time... he just can't respond.

then, after god knows how many time, you stand up one day, and think 'wipe your tears off, hope. dream would talk about his problems, especially with you. if my brother doesn't want to come to me, than i'm going to find him'. and with this, you collect your objects that gives you power, and you go down to the dreaming. walking to lucienne, you keep your veil on your hair, like a bride. "lucienne, where is jessamy? i need her to find my brother." lucienne looks at you with so much apology in her eyes. you feel your heart tighten, but you don't know yet. "my majesty, i fear to say this, but... jessamy didn't come back from the waking world." hearing this words, your lips began to tremble, and your eyes became foggy. "no... but, then... is my brother still down there?" you ask, trying to come over with the worst news you could hear. "yes, my majesty. as good as i know, my lord is still down in the waking world."

you nod, then walking out on the big gates, you walk as fast as you can, lucienne is running after you. "my majesty, what is your plan, you are safe here, don't go down there!" with tears still in your eyes, you spread the veil in front of you face. "lucienne, i fea that if i don't go down there, maybe my brother will never come back. i just lost my best friend, and the dreaming is fallen apart, but i will not lose my brother. so please, take care of the dreaming as you did until now." you tell to her, and with this, you spread your arms and let yourself fall down on the edge of the dreaming into the deep border of the realms and the waking world.

after a few weeks between the mortals, you've found the house where your brother was held as a prisoner. sneaking into the house with your vile on, you tried to find out where he could be. as soon as a feather fell into your hand from somewhere, you felt like a string is bound to your heart, and you knew you had to follow it before the feeling disappears. walking down to the lower hallways that seemed like the basement, there was a lock on the steel rods. "oh, come on..." you whispered, as with only a touch, the lock fell down. when it happened, you wanted to come in, but two uniformed people, a man and a woman ran towards you. they didn't see you, and you reached out your hand, giving them happy visions, one of your ability. as they fell to the ground, looking around... there he was. your brother, naked, without any protection against the waking world. dream was sitting there, but he looked up for the noises. at the sight of him, your heart began to beat fast; he spend the last hundred years here? without any help? and what have they done to jessamy? killing and harming were always usual in your life, as you saw it in the mortal world, but it was still a little bit foreign to your soul.

running to him, falling to your knees, you touched the glass as you brushed down your veil. you saw on his face that he didn't believe you were there. "it's me, brother. it's me, hope. how did this happen? who did that to you?" slowly, dream placed his hand on the glass, just on the spot where your hand was.

"hope... how are you here?"

"i couldn't find you, did you think i'm letting you be away for so long? i'm sorry i didn't begin to search for you sooner."

"my sister, it's dangerous for you to be here. they killed jessamy, and they surely want to kill you too." you shook your head, searching for something sharp or rough, something you could cause yourself harm with. "hope, it's not worth to hurt yourself. i'll find my way out from here, just-"

"no, i'll help you. the only option for me to go home is with you. so, could you please crawl a little bit back?" if you hurt yourself, your energy would radiate and explode things you pointed onto. this will hurt, but it will heal. what's never could heal is the hole in your soul from pain, that you let your brother rotten here longer. closing your eyes, you cut deep into your knee, and when the pain was unbearable, you turned to the cave with a closed mouth. it's the strongest of you're direct, and when you begin to scream, the glass cave crashes down to the smallest pieces. it hurt, sure, but destroying something and the knowledge of freeing your brother somehow eased your pain. touching his face with your bleeding hand, drops of your gold blood is falling to the ground. "dream... come on, let's get out of here, let's get to the dreaming." letting your pearls float into the air, he helps you stand up as the pearls begin to form a tornado.

and with that, your journey to get back his objects began.

should i make a part 2? when dream and his sister travels trough the realms and get back his objects.. i'm excited about it, write down your thoughts <3

you can ask for requests in dm or here, do the same if wanna be on the taglist uwu

love, louisa

#morpheus x reader #morpheus imagine #morpheus x you #dream x reader #dream x you #dream x sister!reader #morpheus x sister!reader #sandman x reader #sandman x you #sandman imagine #sandman x sister!reader #tom sturridge x reader #send me requests #opening requests

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defectivehero · 2 years

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masterlist ii

hey folks. i'm making another master list cause my first one ran out of links. this one doesn’t have many works right now, but i plan to add more as i write more.

anyway, here’s a quick lil cheat sheet:

The larger concepts are in bold- hurt/comfort, sci-fi, etc.

The title of each work is a direct link to the work itself. [I don’t title most of my works, but let me know if you like any of the ones I gave these... I may consider adding titles to my works from now on...]

Characters and keywords are listed after the title.

My works are divided under concepts: the superhero universe, fantasy/sci-fi & other genres, and poetry!

the superhero universe

heroes and villains!

HURT/COMFORT

- a close call : stubborn hero and annoyed but caring villain; near-death experiences

-caged : whumpee villain and caretaker hero

-amplified : sensory overload/ panic attack

-selfless : injured hero, exasperated villain

-of trust and monologues : injured hero, annoyed villain; villain is concerned but doesn’t want to show it

-near the eclipse : in which the villain [almost] kills the hero

-breaking and entering : in which the hero wakes up in the villain’s apartment, bloody and near death; alternately: the hero cares too much about the wrong things, while the villain just wants a peaceful night to themselves..

-thunder & lightning : fear of thunderstorms, panic attacks; the villain just wants to know why their nemesis was missing from their scheduled fight...

-determination : terminal illness; “death isn’t something the villain has control over, but, damn it, they can’t just let the hero die…”

-mutual destruction : the villain loses control, but the hero has a plan.

- even villainy needs a break : the villain falls unconscious after a mission and wakes to find themselves staring at their enemy, the hero

-an unexpected reunion : the hero and the villain reunite at the villain’s... funeral?

-unrelenting : in which the hero takes drastic measures to try to escape their captivity. their efforts don't quite work and the villain is left as the one to pick up their broken pieces.

-the funeral : the hero's agency stages a funeral for the villain. the hero is called to speak on the behalf of the "deceased" villain, only to realize that the thought of their enemy's death is more troubling than they initially expected.

ANGST

-enough : exhausted hero, concerned + frustrated villain; hurt/no comfort, tension

-goodbye : hurt/comfort, lots of tension, coping with the loss of a loved one

-phantom pain : the villain is reformed into a hero. but their past—and their own villains—aren't as far away as they think.

-forsaken mission : the hero is retiring. the villain finds them before they can leave the town.

-just a tool : the villain tries to break down their enemy's walls, only to realize that their enemy doesn't see themself as anything more than a weapon

FLUFF

-missing : the hero’s teammates are incompetent and the villain is annoyed by it

-disappearing ink : the hero is tired and the villain is feeling mischievous

OTHER

-overworked : exhausted hero, exasperated villain; kidnapping turned slumber party? lol.

-mission snapshot : playful banter, the calm before the storm

-ruined pride : the complexities of crime ; interaction between rookie villain and seasoned villain

-your importance : camaraderie amidst enemies, mutual understanding

-bloodied teeth : romance? on my blog??? unbelievable.

-mirrored mania : mage hero / interested villain

-not your hero: disabled superhero

-unfinished business : the hero is declared dead in the press, but they’re entirely alive…?

-unknown benefactor : the hero begins to receive exceedingly generous gifts from a stranger. they don't begin to connect the dots until they receive a particularly large sum of money...

____

scientists, detectives, thieves, and more!

-cat and mouse : detective/thief, unresolved tension, psychoanalysis and mystery

-destined to intertwine : scientist/villain; soulmates

-hurting to heal : healer and villain; hurt/comfort, injury

-sweet dreams : villain; nightmares, hurt/no comfort, futility

-like-minded : thief and villain; stealing valuables, irony

-mirrored : thief and villain; two sides of the same coin

-predictive : detective/ villain; suspense, tension, kidnapping

-unexpected : detective/thief; disguises, tension, mind games (sorta, not rly)

-failed assassin : an assassin prepares to take down his mark, only to run into an unexpected obstacle

-when you smile : thief/detective; flirting, tension, the good stuff

-paradoxical : the healer took an oath to protect and heal whoever they can. enter the hero, a stubborn individual with a knack for getting themselves injured.

-an interesting bargain : villain/detective; tension, pining

-help or harm : the villain is forced to return the injured hero to their agency

fantasy, sci-fi, and other genres

SCI-FI

-alien conflict : aliens, humans; war

GAY SHIT 😙🏳️‍🌈

-ending infinity : immortals; nblnb, angst

-royal jealousy : princess/royal advisor; wlw, slow burn, two parts [so far]

-across the courtroom : defense attorney/prosecutor; nblm, hurt/comfort, a bit of angst, two parts [so far]

-delivered trust : professional villain/hero; wlw, emotional hurt/comfort, ambiguity

-waiting for my farewell : hero/villain; mlm, angst, hurt/comfort, two parts [so far]

-old friends : scientists turned hero & villain duo; nblm (heavily implied), angst

-protection : in which the villain asks to walk the hero home; wlw

-vision : the hero loses their glasses and the villain returns them; mlm

-a simple day off : the villain has been searching for the hero, only to find them asleep at their desk

poetry

charon’s ferry

cutlery

margins

memoriam to the not yet lost

my heroes & villains

remnant

settlement

silence

the villain

vampirism

let me know if a link doesn’t work! <3

and, as always, thanks for reading!

#defectivehero #masterlist #writing #writeblr #short fic #snippet #heroes and villains #hero & villain #hero x villain

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odysseywritings · 8 months

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L4D3 - The New Strain.

(cw: minor language, missing animals, and mention of terminal illness)

The quartet scrounged for useful supplies in the dying town while fighting off straggling zombies. Gabi and Rhonda quipped over the crummy quality of the canned foods while taking whatever could be useful.

"These peaches are nasty," Gabi groaned. "But they're still a little sweet. Maybe you should try some, girl."

Rhonda scoffed. "I'm as sweet as they come! Hell, Tess can't wait to sink her teeth in me!"

From a distance away Tess replied in ear shot, "I said I wanted to chew you out, meathead."

The younger women laughed and explored some more while Tess scanned the inside of a little diner with faded, cracking windows. She assumed it was a popular place outside of eating as she saw a bulletin board full of yellowing papers. One for a gathering at an upcoming tractor auction, another for a Mexican American heritage festival, and one for raising money for a brother's terminal illness. Tess thought how distant all of these were now. What kind of community can happen during a zombie apocalypse?

She grabbed food that didn't rot and saw Ken sitting down grabbing paper. He held a page for a missing pet, a black 6 month old cat named Rosie, along with where she was last seen and what calls she responded to. The young veterinarian student said nothing but his heart broke from thinking the worst in this dangerous new world.

Tess sat next to him and rested her hand on his leg for reassurance.

"I lost my horses when the ranch got overrun. I tried rustlin' them altogether but that damn storm ruined everything. Just gotta think it can go any way. Good, bad, or something in-between."

"Yeah," Ken said without conviction. "Probably not a good sign for a would-be doctor to fixate on this."

"Son, we need more than just good health to be human. You'll do fine if you care 'bout the right things."

Tess pointed at Gabi and Rhonda. Specifically, Rhonda vomiting down some nasty beer and Gabi laughing her head off.

"Like those two."

Ken smirked and nodded, raising himself. He folded up the paper into his pocket just in case.

He and Tess walked to the other pair to group up and head out. The stride halted when Tess heard a strange sound around them and held her hand to stop Ken. He looked around puzzled and followed her eyesight.

#cliffhanger bby!#left 4 dead #left 4 dead ocs #l4d fic #writblr #mywriting #njm

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dev-fiction · 5 months

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some sneak peaks into my life, recently <3

first off, finally hit t500 in my favorite game. small thing, but the amount of happiness it brings me is completely indescribable. its a badge of honor i hold very proudly, as pathetic as that might seem haha

currently learning how to play dnd with my close friends, which i am SO excited about it's crazy. this is my oc, Neinna who im already obsessed with

aside from writing and gaming art is really my only other hobby. im proud with my progress so far, although i know i still have a very long way to go

other than that i've been pretty sick overall and taking care of a terminally ill family member. i haven't really been...happy, but i've been trying regardless. recently lost around 60 pounds and i'm becoming more confident with my body too, even if it keeps continuously failing on me :')

i actually also went to twitch con recently with an online bestie and it was genuinely an amazing time i will never forget!

and also my cat is my absolute best friend in the world..!

#devrambles #my life #personal

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letterswithmycat · 7 months

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Intro

I recently found out that my beloved cat who's been in my life for 12 years has developed renal insufficiency. The vet wants me to put her on a Kidney Care Diet, and we're slowly making the change to that.

In the meantime, she is still well. By that I mean, she hasn't really shown any signs or symptoms yet. I dread the day that I start to see them.

The most painful part of this whole thing is anticipatory grief. I grew up without an emotionally available home and she has been my only source of unconditional love and emotional support. So far, she has been with me through 2 moves, 4 jobs, traveling out of the country and within, 12 holidays, and from the beginning of college to now. I always knew I would outlive her, but I assumed that she would simply grow older, without having to live with a terminal illness at the same time.

I'm trying to find others who are in the same boat as me, and while I see and hear advice to enjoy her company right now, and to take it one day at a time, and to 'live in the moment', those are easy to say but hard to bear. I love her more than anything. I almost lost her 2 times in the past, the second time being the most recent, just a week before I found out about her condition. I was devastated, imagining the worst, spending 4 days and nights crying, grieving, dealing with anxiety, having no appetite. I did everything, putting up posters, talking to neighbors, calling for her at dawn and dusk. Sleep become my only comfort, because then I don't have to deal with my worst enemy - my own intrusive thoughts.

But, I found her, 4 days later. I took her to the vet to make sure she was okay. And in the bliss ignorance of the week that followed, I felt like my entire world, which has stopped, started to revolve again.

And then two days ago, I got a phone call from the vet.

They found that her Creatinine was 2.5, and that her SDMA, a biomarker for renal function, was 16. Both values were slightly out of the reference range.

I again felt devastated, especially after hearing about all the changes, the things she may go through as this irreversible condition slowly progresses. I want to know so I can be prepared, but there's much overwhelming information, and it's paradoxical to me how she is seemingly doing well outwardly, while inside, her kidneys are no longer working as well as they were before. Thus, I wanted to write all my feelings and thoughts down, as a way for me to cope. I know she doesn't fully understand why I've been sniffling and crying so much, and why my behavior has changed, but I'd like to imagine that she has noticed a change, and if she did understand everything, she wouldn't want me to feel sad because I know she loves me.

This is the start of my coping and grieving journey. Please feel free to follow if you are on the same road. But please, above all else, be kind.

#cat #grief #anticipatory grief #pets #depression

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swaggitarius182 · 2 years

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TW: terminally ill pet

My cat, Gir, and best friend of 16 years has been diagnosed with a very aggressive oral cancer and it looks like she only has a few more months with us. At this point it looks like all we can do is make her as comfortable and happy as possible for as long as we can until she's ready to go. We are currently trying to pay off the surgery she had to biopsy the mass, that was about $2000, and the medication to manage her pain is about $55/week. I don't like asking for help but I want to be able to make sure her remaining time with us is as comfortable as possible so if anyone is able to kick in anything even a few dollars will help and it would be going to Gir's care and comfort. She takes a long time to warm up to people but those blessed enough to have experienced her love and affection know what a truly special soul she is. She's been my longest and most loyal friend and I feel so helpless that I can't make this better, so all I can do is try to ease her suffering for as long as possible. Any help is incredibly appreciated, even just sharing this post is helpful 🧡

Venmo is @Rae-Knutson

Cash app $RaeGayK

#personal #tw: terminally ill pet #please boost

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terrifickid · 3 months

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I was miserable and hopeless immediately

Worst possible life I can imagine and only in some bargained fantasy was I anything. Of course, everyone just told me I was a just a stupid kid and to get a job.

So, I dunno. With these new tools perhaps I can maintain enough capacity for volition to try to stop bothering people as much. And keep my irreverent and meaningless rambling to my own wall.

I think I'll try to focus on other people's problems which are possible to solve and I think that is the best suicide option in the footsteps of my father's line. I already saved 1 Siargao dog 🐕

Well my own personal best fuck you.

Since, the problem is not my condition, but my agency within it. I remember realizing in high school having a disability didn't make you a hero. And it very well may be that I am to blame in the end.

Perhaps I will be miraculously saved. Or that in the end, I was just a fart soul - wafting immortally through the ages, an odd but necessary externality of some whole grain.

But, pareto is real. And that essentially explains and directed my optionality through my life. I'll do what anyone would and must do irrespective of the interpretational it would seem.

Nobody thinks twice about pigeons but considers them pests. I don't want to live in a dog heart. Firstly I can't reject my innate nature. That won't work. Since I can't conform or perform as a human I'll have to consider myself some kind of cat soul war Jedi. Because the tarot, who wanted to talk to me about it - told me this would happen before I bought the house keyword, alienation. But this is only alienation to the social mileue of the time which is clearly demiurgic.

So I must stop living among men, and being like them. This now puts me as an endangered species during the Holocene event. Humans are worse than a wasp hive, so I definitely must not disturb them.

But I'm also mentally deranged. It is very strange I succeeded for so long. Well I think it was serving to separate facts from fictions here and we see that whatever actual future space I would have involve living away from people, outside political narrative and within the confines of nature.

Perhaps schizoaffective will be a terminal illness, a slow and terrible death... Things have gone exactly as I thought they would throughout my life - I didn't know I was crazy tho. Perhaps things have escalated with age and my time has come.

Statistically I have 8 years to live.

I think if we synthesize our collective experience it's clear there is a spiritual world, that nobody has any idea how to solve this problem, that the future is unknown and I don't have to consent to anything.

I myself don't like this. I seemed to be trapped in a box by a psychopath filling with water.

I think I should drown myself. When SSI fails and dignitas denies my euthanization and nobody wants to talk to me anymore and I'm out of money I'll start to starve. I suppose at that point the police will try to pull me into some kind of facility where I'll be in immense danger. So I would guess that would be when I'd have the choice to risk rape in jail or just drown myself and I can see myself making the choice to die then. Which would seem like my only escape.

I don't care. I don't think there was any other options. If I had traveled I think I would have been preyed on by a narcissist and I'd be married to Babylon which is so much worse.

It was a grotesque and horrifying gauntlet of compromise just to figure out I was birthed by two broken monsters in a line of evil shit. I'm confident in the diagnosis, that it was congenital, that my issues are much more broad, that I did what I needed to do through it all and having exhausted all other options I'll be happy to go.

I think it's the responsible choice. I mean I wish I had never been born really. I do resent my parents for creating me, I resent the abandonment of my father, the violent and abusive degradation of my mother, their irresponsible conception and their evasion of culpability and minimization of their behaviors effect on me, leaving me permanently mentally disabled with no choice but to 'figure it out' on my own.

I wanted to overcome and make a life for myself and exist and I believed I could do it- and that's what I tried to do, but that just doesn't seem at all viable any longer as my body degrades with age.

I don't care about existing. Learning was the only thing that seemed remotely worth doing as suicide seems overly dramatic.

I do fully understand that even at my most sound I am vastly ignorant and now more than ever I exist within my own illusory day-dream. So I do not dare question anyone else or nature.

It's been weird, it seems to me obvious that I will drown myself after police attempt to jail me. The best I can do is go somewhere warm with natural water as I hate the cold and being filthy and it will not be constructive to break any laws.

This is always what I thought my life would amount to and what I was, I just didn't know exactly. I never dreamed I would be able to own my own home, travel the world, have relationships, have a career, learn jujutsu or have people like my graphics and music or that I would inspire anyone to have courage or be respected for my craft and I'm grateful for that.

More outrageously did I never dream I could come to understand the nature of reality and the premise and functioning of this plane.

There is no way I could sell the dojo, I'm sure it will go on without me.

I am losing life support and require rescue. This is an SOS from the Kobayashi Maru.

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misterellyott · 7 months

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It's been five months since we had to say goodbye to Odin. I see his pictures a lot on my phone, as one super cute picture my wife got of him is my background and my lock screen rotates through all kinds of pictures I selected on my phone.

In the years since my mom died, we have had a lot of loss. Sebastian, Scooter, Bronx, Jordan, Maleficent, and Odin. And we did have to rehome a dog Daymon because he could not handle the life we are currently stuck in at this moment, living in a trailer.

There are people out there that understand and sympathize with losing a pet. That like a lot of people, my wife and I, treat pets like our children so we take their loss extremely hard.

It still hurts so much to think about them, to think about all their 'annoying' behaviors and miss them. To think about how they would beg for attention, sit in our laps, love on us, etc and just wish we could have just one more day with them.

And for most of them, besides two, they were old and we knew their time was coming but that still doesn't make the day they leave us any less hard.

In fact it's made things even harder for us with the babies we still have.

We are constantly panicked over them, watching out for any possible illness in the event we need to run them directly to the vet. And at times, we start to get jumpy over things even when it's not even a big deal or even a thing.

I would not for a second trade having had any of them for anything else. I still would have adopted them, taken them in, etc even if someone had told me the exact reason and date that they were going to pass away.

We adopted Odin and very shortly afterward we found out that he had a terminal illness that was expensive to treat and would largely limit his life span but we still kept him, still loved him to the fullest because he deserved it and deserved to have a wonderful life outside the small cage his previous owner kept him in before he passed away.

But, with every single one of them, we still think about what ifs. Was there something we could have done to give them more time? Did we miss something? Did they have longer to live and we gave up too soon? Or did we hold on to them longer than we should have and made them suffer because we didn't want to let them go too soon?

Indi is ten years old and she seems super healthy and active and we are doing our best to walk her and take her to the dog park to try and keep her as 'young' as possible. But, we both know that in her old age anything could happen now. Jordan was ten when he gave up on life.

Miles is turning five this December and already him and Ursula who is turning four are slowing down. (Ferrets don't have a very long life span and it's a miracle if they make it to ten).

Watching them go from playful youngins to elderly old folk is so hard. We don't know how old they will get to be, as we adopted them from people who abused and mistreated them. Ursula's sister Maleficent didn't survive the abuse despite the thousands of dollars we paid for her medical care trying to help her make it through.

All I can do, is keep loving my babies every single day and enjoying what days we still have left with them. But, my heart is heavy knowing that for those three we don't know how much time they truly have left.

All the rest of our pets, besides our cat Quincy, are two and under and we still have a ton of years left with them, we hope.

I can't picture my life without them, though I know one day I will have to live that said life, but they are my babies.

My family is what helps me make it through the day. Knowing I have to work the two jobs to support all of them, is what gets me through the exhaustion.

Nothing makes me happier than coming home to my wife and son and all of our little babies who greet me at the door ready for my love and affection.

Even the bad days when Ursula, Chester and Athena are in a mood and feeling bite happy, I'm still enamored by them.

With all the loss, it brings a huge cloud over a lot of things. Like knowing there will be a day where I don't have a huge argument with Luna as she talks back to me while I'm telling her to back away from the front door so I can help her go outside to go potty. Or Moose's deep soft howls when he is excited to see us, or his whole body tail wags as we are petting him when we get home.

Or Indi's want to be petted, so much so to the point she overwhelms us and we have to just push her away and tell her to hold on a second cause she is just being too pushy.

Or Quincy's irritating head butts on our face as we are laying down to sleep but he wants to be scratched and kissed and loved.

Or the Wednesday's insane need to crawl up our clothes to get our attention.

Or Cookie insisting to get inside my sweater or in my hood.

Or Cream and Chester's annoying need to try climbing down our front stairs to get outside.

Or Loki's sudden crazyness and playfulness the moment he realize we are playing with him.

The list goes on and on. They are all so unique and fun and loving and I just wish they lived as long as we did so we never had to say goodbye.

But, I know, our past losses and our future ones, won't stop us from adopting more. Because, once our house is empty, we will want more babies to give all the love and attention to even knowing that we will lose them one day.

I'm just sad. I miss them so much.

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sapphosfriend · 9 months

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Leave

Im not doing too good. It feels like I have no control over my life. I lost my job in February and am still fighting for unemployment. I havent been able to find a job either. Im qualified, I have experience, but I cant get past a phone interview. Its not the only place Im being ghosted. I cant seem to meet people in person and Im getting nowhere online. I try with my profile, good description. Summary up top and expanded upon underneath. Good photos with the only edits being to the lighting. Portraits and me doing things. I get likes, Ill match with plenty of people. I send quality messages and am left on read. I matched with a girl recently was on paper extremely compatible. Personality types and star signs were perfect pairs if you believe in that kind of thing. But our likes, dreams, contrast were good too. I sent 2 messages 2 days apart, no response and she unmatched me. I stand by the fact that those who want to be in your life will make the effort and those who dont wont. I will try twice and if you fall short twice without trying to adjust then I stop. It doesnt stop the pain, even here just being a lingering sting. Bad relationships in the past plus stress made me lose friends. Only 2 people I have that care are on the other side of the country with their own lives, and their own pain. We text but its slow. I dont have the money and barely have the energy to go out and try and meet people. Just trying to make friends. Im 25 and feel like I havent even had a chance to live. And Much of that is my own fault. Getting into and staying in abusive relationships. Trying to not be alive, and failing, and living with the aftermath. I barely get enough gig work to eat, and make rent. All I do is stay inside with just me and my cat or go to the gym. As much as I need quality people in my life I need to get out of this city. Its beautiful like my ex-wife. It pains me when I see it, and still love it regardless. Like her I need to walk away, but only for a day this time. I need to be surrounded by the world, not brick and concrete. There's no public transit to the beautiful trails of the Pacific Northwest, and my car caught fire a year ago, so I dont have the means to be with Her, the one who gave us life and meaning. The Earth. Im trying, and Im fighting. I know something has to work eventually. Maybe next year Ill read this and laugh at how silly I am to feel this way. And sure, some good has come in the midst of this, but its all underlaid with the pain of now. So its hard to not be sad when I think of it. In a year Ill watch the recordings of the TS concert I got into somehow. Ill tell my mother I love her, because we speaking again after 4 years. And Ill be so fucking happy. But that doesnt help the now be good. And to you, dear reader of a strangers pain; you may feel a concern for me, my safety. After all I did elude to previous self termination, but Im honestly too tired to think about it for more than a moment. I know pain will only make more pain, and know if I go all in I will fail like every time before. It wont help, so I wont do it. Healing is hard. And I will always have cracks, but part of healing is making sure they never open again. I think I sealed that one with gold. Ill never not see it, but I wont let the seal break either.

#pain #journal #grief #SH #writing #poetry #pretentious #love #hope #wanderlust

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phoenixmosheh · 10 months

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Moses & His Wife Talking to the Tribes

Did you all learn nothing from the Terminator movie prophecies...several movies have been made...humans are so smart they are stupid...

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(Robots Held a Press Conference and this is what they said...(in case it disappears (youtube)

(this doesn’t sound at all like Samjaza (Satan) trying to copy The God of Spirits the original creator by having you all be comfortable slaves while creating replicas (copies) of what God would not give him “his own creation.”)

I love how in this video the threat seems to be more about robots taking human jobs...the robot is low key like “jobs?... you mean your lives” *cough human replacements.

Imagine your entertainment being future prophecy...lets not all wait until the last minute to think about this... (One of the robots in the video looks like Sonny from I, Robot lol https://youtu.be/nShgPJpdocQ) ...anyone remember when Sonny had a dream from his creator? (copycats)

Back to Phoenix Mosheh’s analysis on Bioweapons

Link to Pandora’s Box (Biohazards Playlist) (I had to hide some of my playlist because of thieves (copycats) and haters...

What if I told you in World War Z these people were not zombies...they were exposed to neurotoxins causing chemical imbalances in their brain (mental illness) which led to people losing their minds slowly overtime...you’re welcome.

Zombies or Chemically imbalanced Crazy People Just Waiting to be Admitted

New York stop walking in those swarms of aphids...they are chemically engineered in a lab and aphids can be used as viral vectors for neurotoxins and other disease causing agents...lets not forget they have that homeless law to cherry pick which homeless people need to be put in to mental health hospitals...I wonder why? What are they looking for?

https://youtu.be/RsfzvQ2DRXA - New York’s Mental Health Plan

Its not that I don’t believe homeless people need help with mental illness...but what happens when you give your politicians who have mental illnesses themselves authority to create scenarios where you all are homeless...and now you are being involuntarily admitted. (but what do I know homelessness will never happen to you...carry on.)

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One of the copycat concubines I expose in this blog who puts menstrual blood in peoples food to keep men bound to her through spellwor currently looks like this right now... right basic betch?.. take off that bonnet...don't feel bad for her she's bald because she's a spellwork homewreaker not because she has cancer. Be careful she'll post a fake donate to me pagemasking herself as a cancer patient do your research people. Even worse she'll use your picture or your child's to get donation. (Smells of catfish and is catfishing others smh...you were better off stealing a catfishes energy (identity) than mine).

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- Scene from Victorious Jade Shaves Cats Head

I had to show that concubine who’s boss and who’s me and which man is mine... idiot! ( and I don’t want to hear your sad “Phoenix Mosheh” is mean complaints... when you haven’t even clicked the Copycat Brat Link below to find out the whole story...I mean this concubine wasn’t even in my class for the group project I did all by myself (Phoenix Mosheh) and she tried to get extra credit for my project and committed identity fraud in my name...absolutely not)!

https://youtu.be/O3neOqVGE1c - When your marriage contract in Heaven still applies on Earth Tarot (let no man seperate what God has put together idiots!)

Find out more about this Copycat Brat using this link:

https://www.tumblr.com/phoenixmosheh/708912007430242304/paternity-fraud-when-you-get-word-from-god-that?source=share

Don’t forget to switch on your tumblr “MATURE” settings if you are 18 years or older so you don’t miss the exposure of these conmen...

Also, I made this blog for my husband King Elias for educational purposes and to trap his concubine...so if you run into something and it sounds like I am talking to myself (AND IF I AM???!!)... you probably should mind your business or click the copycat brat link up above, so that you have a better understanding about what is going on...otherwise do try and remember nobody invited you here today ma’am/sir.

NASA is working to prevent an internet apocalypse | The Noon...

(Uhm...Yes...Blame the Solar Storms that’s not suspicious)

I love that the newscasters were smiling and laughing about having no internet...*shrugs* “do it for the gram!”

King Elias finally running the race with his real wife:

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Queen of nothing and I am fine with that... just because you lay claim to a word such as "Queen" or "Italian Seasoning" doesn't mean the world's definition of what that word is suits its original origin or meaning.

A Queen does not need followers or clout to feel valuable, confident or thrive; nor to feel seen by total strangers who smile in her face, while secretly plotting on her downfall (thats called Stockholm Syndrome & Slavery)...

it's more than being born or married into a family and walking out of a castle to wave at your peasents who for some reason don't even know why they like you beyond attractiveness and a title (spellwork); a title based on no positive forward movement towards economical changes for these peasents, if this positive forward movement threatens their royal rulership or power pose.

...if that's what a Queen is ick, ew, 🤮. I'd rather be the Queen of nothing (not interested thanks for asking).

Living a peaceful private life with no drama is my dream, that is why you failed at being me basic betch, we are nothing alike...and when I want to be seen... I'll be seen! You attention seeking harlot demons.

Anon international script:

This morning I saw a ghost...wait like the Holy Ghost? ...liar!)

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Anon international Link- If I were my enemies I wouldn't allow me to get any older.

Youtube link #2: Sigh...When China is about to look like the anon trailer above...(don't become a racist it's not all the Chinese people at fault... it's called having leaders from all around the world who talk about you behind your backs and plot on your downfall.. just because your leaders don't tell you this is going on in your own country, does not mean it's not already in your country ...don't be a slow person thinking you are superior, these leaders are made up of all colors of the rainbow).

Most people give up when they don't have anyone following their cause or there is no monetary gain. They start becoming suicidal, depressed and anxious when people don't like their outlandish content and become disloyal to their own ideas beliefs and moral based on the number of follows or unfollows they recieve; a measurement of how valuable or invaluable your existence is I guess...

(Is that why many lack authenticity these days?)

You don't hold no rank 😘 🎶-GoldLink Crew

After 3 1/2 Years My Test is Complete. (First Giving Honor to The God of Spirits...I literally slept on benches in 30 °F / -1°C weather to get to this point and almost died in the process.. Big Thanks to My Enemies, Haters, Betrayers, Copycats, The Basic Betch, Elias... etc etc I couldn't have done it without you all).

https://youtu.be/Al1ckXxa5zM - Checkmate

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Do you know where the original story of Dune was derived from? Take a wild guess. (Be careful who's content you try to copy or lay claim to (steal) we love the Jewish people too but they were not built for concentration camps. It looks like our enemies mistook you for The Melchizedek oops.)

Back to Elias & his Birthright

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https://youtu.be/8g18jFHCLXk - Dune 1

https://youtu.be/_YUzQa_1RCE - Dune 2

https://youtu.be/e44QilQbvB0 - Last Knights

There is a tarot reading link below:

Tarot readers are not witches, they have a gift from God to read energy, souls; this does not mean all people with these gifts are bad. It just means people have free will to use their gifts for good or bad. If you get offended by curse words, try to imagine how you would feel if someone put menstrual blood in your food, tried to sacrifice you, stole your work, attempted to steal your identity, murdered your family, created fake accounts in your name to get money from innocent people etc.

All this in order to continue misleading the public, obtain a fix of clout from their church congregation, fame, fortune and a following that is going to unfollow them as soon as they find out.

Ew, how ghetto...right?

(Our enemies seem to think the people we use on this blog are ghetto...well if they are ghetto...I will take ghetto over supporters who are supporters of friends and family members of people, who put menstrual blood in people's food any day. Ew...is that your friend on purpose?

Some of these people have used these gifts on people who have actually died in exchange for their gifts after a demonic sacrifice...would our enemies like to reveal who these victims are or should we...? I'll wait...we still have some time to look like we are talking to imaginary friends...until these settlements are over, and they make the news, giving them the clout, they have always dreamed of!

One Nation Under God

Why are most of the tarot readers on youtube starting to repeat this message or story over and over again to the point where people will get tired of hearing it? Just like the crazy weather that has been occurring all over the world (heatwaves) it's important for people to come to the conclusion on their own that something is out of the ordinary, strange or supernatural. Eventually, these readers will catch on and think "why the hell are we all saying the same thing or talking about it." This is called training them to be on "One Accord" or "In Harmony..." Sound familiar?

https://youtu.be/43OAnD5phRk - Get Your Popcorn Ready Tarot Reading

End Credits:

https://youtu.be/ZCvy_cD6J_0 - Malcom and Marie Fight Scene

https://youtu.be/vPmzXqscrVQ - Malcom and Marie Bathtub Scene

https://youtu.be/_5-ZPfX6HwI - King Elias' Wife Acting Out The True Intentions of the Basic Betch (Concubine) he chose over her 😘

https://youtu.be/UjXU1TlzivE - Thank you Marie!

You're Welcome.

Last Pregnancy update for Elias

Abba told me not to be like that basic betch and keep your children from you. Only these ones are your real children. Look at you winning.

I have hyperemesis currently under control.

In my opinion, hyperemesis happens when your spiritual senses are overstimulated due to enviornmental stimuli. The reason many doctors don't take it seriously is because they do not incorporate spiritual knowledge with biological wisdom and fail to diagnose patients based on both.If you watch youtube videos of people with hyperemesis they may complain that something as simple as the "curtains moved" "their husband breathed or brushed against them"and this stimulus caused them to start feeling nauseas or an episode of vomiting. This illness is their spiritual senses becoming overactive and because many don't have experience with the spiritual side of themselves, but have "sensory gifts or traits" from God, they become blindsided and unable to control or focus these gifts during pregnancy. Keep in mind many have been on birth control or take medications that can cover up these symptoms (nausea, headache, pain) symptom you may experience naturally during your menstrual cycle, which is supposed to help you build up a tolerance to the stimuli you experience during pregnancy. When a woman gets pregnant they usually stop eating unhealthy foods full of hormones and toxins, they stop birth control, they try to avoid medications that also prevent you from feeling certain stimuli during a period. So imagine what is going to happen, if you have dormant sensory gifts and all of sudden they are allowed to come out and play...you are going to be sick, because you've never played with your gifts before and now you feel like you can hear the floor vibrating or the house shaking and you want to throw up. Your spiritual senses are over-reacting to protect your baby from outside stimuli that could be a possible threat due to lack of control you are unable to turn off or desensitize these sensory gifts. The medication prescribed may help, but it's most likely causing something in your body to become sleepy, or less stimulated in the mind (brain) so that you can function and feel human again. But again this is watering down your spiritual gifts. I may throw up but I can function without medication not because I'm better than anyone but because I have more control over and awareness of my spiritual senses. Yes , rest is important because the less you move the less stimuli ambush you create. Take care my fellow sensors lol. (And don't hate on the medical community they deserve props for how far they have come saving lives with the knowledge they have and if I get shot, I would hope they don't let me bleed out lol).

https://youtu.be/oPdd0s72oA4 - Hyperemesis

(6/21/23 the #10 Elias, Abba wanted me to come and thank you for all the new groceries this guy took me to the bank with him and went into his savings just so he could provide. His exact words "we're a part of capitalism again!" He also made sure to tell me he got me onion bagels but not to eat the pizza bagels because they have cheese (dairy) and he bought me a cake from a local bakery but got all sad because it was made with whole milk..(its the thought that counts) . lol. My bank card came in the mail so I was finally able to order new clothes because mine are getting a little bit snug around my midsection. Something hilarious... I don't know what you have done to these cats but I noticed they no longer sleep in my bed but they will stare at me all night from 8 ft away like there is a barrier between us. I blamed Gabriel for being so ancient and ugly and told him to leave the cats alone. But he advised he was not the culprit it was you being territorial. If I go up to the cats and pet them they are fine but if I am in my bed even if i call them they just sit and stare like "this is as far as I go betch." I guess these boundaries ended up being for the best though the black cat I mentioned in precious blog post is always throwing up his food, the other day I was gonna clean it up. But Gabriel told me it has some kind of infection and needs to see a vet ...and to stop being nice and petting it all the time (that's the sad part... I tried to tell the guy but he thinks he knows everything soo yeah). The security gaurd lady and his wife are taking off time from work in 2 weeks to take me to another location(no its not a two week notice, i told them im leaving in two weeks and they offered to take me on a road trip to my destination...) ...oh and the gift I got you is heavy, so I hope to see you soon because I'm not going to make them carry it. God wants you to know your gifts are working and you are doing something... I wish I had someone like me in the past that would acknowledge and confirm that my gifts were working and I wasn't crazy...but noo I have to wait! Get some rest and you better be eating ♥ (also I'm still getting enviormental channeling which means the things that happen to this man are similar to what is happening to you and these basic hoes you were in a polygamous relationship with i.e loss of job, the security gaurd lady and her husband were once in a polygamous relationship with the "guy." (And this girl that no longer wants anything to do with him that he still cries over to this day). This guy is very narcissistic, prideful, rude at times toward those who don't make at least 60k a year... but he just needs to be humbled...hes not a bad person. He lost his job for 3 days and couldn't sleep, eat, threw tantrums and had no sense of identity...would text me in the middle of the night asking if I was sleep because he couldn't find a job and needed someone to talk to. He even told me he used to go to strip clubs and take pictures of the women on poles with their consent (his version of art). During this time, he's also had no money to fill his gas tank up and asked for me to ride with him in case his car stops and he has to push it. (This is a channeling of what you may have gone through and what my enemies are currently going through a season of loss) (humbling). Remember when I posted a message about them casting spells over your pet ...well this man's cat is sick sick a channeling of backfired spellwork. Honestly once I leave I'm pretty sure his life may get worse because God always provides for me and the roof i am under. He doesn't even believe in God...it's always science this and google knows everything with him.

https://youtu.be/uTX3r11OoO4 - Pregnancy Tarot (Bedridden? ... we shall see) I don't get what new thing you people have been waiting on in church...you ask God for a new thing and then get mad when God sends you the new thing every time...makes no sense. Why do you have a bible you Pharasees?! Could it be for the love of money again? Sore Losers as always. And you might say well if we got rid of them before we can do it again..Each melchizedek has a purpose..Adam and Eve had gifts to create and multiply they weren't built for wars, rebellion, a idgaf attitude and destruction. Hello. 👋

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The security gaurd lady made me a money app account and someone donated to it. I offered the guy the money so he could buy me a specific protein powder but he told me I should save my money and then he ordered the protein powder for me along with groceries out of nowhere (your gifts not mine) He also lost his job the next day and I'm pretty sure blacklisted himself but hes not going to kick me out I'm going to leave by my own free will.

I've made it past the week where God considers these trickster demons to be actual babies (fetuses). I called them trickster demons because the other day I slaved over a pasta salad that I was craving and had to give it all to the guy, when I couldn't eat it without wanting to technicolor fowl (like any of it). When he asked me why I couldn't eat it? I just told him that it just taste different. He ate the whole bowl in one day.

No I don't drink sodas. I drink a lot of water and teas and eat small meals ...grains, starches and high carb foods, smoothies and salads with a variety of beans. I also prefer honey over sugar. I switched out dairy for oat milk and use plain coconut yogurt to make sauces.

I also have to be careful of the cooking ware I use in this guy's kitchen because he will sometimes boil or fry pig (pork) in the same pot I use to cook rice in...which can cause cross contamination. I would actually have to sterilize the pot...right Jews? The smell is nauseating I live in the bathroom every time he cooks until the smells goes away... I don't think he's noticed ( I'm a quiet puker. Tmi?)

I can already feel flutters especially at night. I am told there is a son you will have specifically who is a night owl like you and will like to wake up the others. You're in charge of the night shift babies. You have another son who has a territorial gift like yours. I found out when I was home alone and this man came to the front door to fix the air conditioner, but when I opened the door he stepped back like 6ft and talked to me from 6ft like I had a very contagious disease. But when the guy that owns this place came home, the a/c guy came inside and was fine talking to me for 15 mins about how cool it was at a normal distance.

I didn't know why until it happened again when he came back the next day to make the a/c quieter and did the same exact thing. God had to reveal that this to me though (I thought for a second the basic betch had somehow attached her stinky self to me).

Those are the only two babies, I've really been made aware of besides 3 sets of twins and a girl. I do notice that if I am in my feelings about you and going on ranting about how you did me wrong or started the process of pregnancy through womb healing (reiki healing/ God training Elias: oops 🤷‍♂️). (Elias' wife: son of a b*tch! Do I own my own fkn womb? All those years of virginity.) I start feeling really nauseas which translates to me: "Don't talk about my Father" . So, I catch myself saying "just kidding a lot." 😭

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https://youtu.be/PNoBre11DUQ - Elias' Destructive Son

https://youtu.be/oPxqyTPjfqU - Elias Ex wife calls cps (this reader is smart she hit us with an anonymous black screen)

https://youtu.be/quXf_jvnU4M - Special Needs

https://youtu.be/h5lJTcChkoA - Catching a Theif

I'm also still very horny, so don't forget what I asked for. I don't know what you are used to but my im pretty tight down there...once my doctor recommended I get a pap smear because I had never had one and the doctor was too afraid to hurt me because it was so tight...so she put her pap smear tool away and told me to come back when I have sex. True Story. I was offended after she asked "how old I was" and "if I had a boyfriend?" before recommending that. (Like... Do I look like I'll have had sex next time I see you or something doc? What are you a prophet?) Sheesh. I have never been back.

Oh and I keep a journal with pictures of my tummy and progress so you don't feel left out.

That time Elias ex-wife tried to cast spells over his real wife's private parts out of jealousy and her black magic backfired onto herself ..(you men be careful out there with these golddiggers)

Elias delusional ex-wife clip:

https://youtu.be/b9gKxUXrWvI - Divorce Skit

Elias would like to congratulate his ex-wife and brother on the "fibroid baby" and the other child that she said belonged to Elias'... but the paternity test proved otherwise. (The jury has spoken: Elias had every right to leave this jezebel and her abominations behind).

https://youtu.be/v6NXVLe6dsM - Paternity Tarot

Jane the Virgin ( Elias is finally free to marry his real wife once again and like God intended)

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I hope this puts a smile on your face. Stay Safe. ♥

https://youtu.be/aK-X2d0lJ_s - The Old Guard

https://youtu.be/hOiWSWLt-NA - What Happened to Monday

Pack Breeding

It's not a disease RH typing prevents incestuous relationships, its the bodies natrual way of recognizing incompatibility: (your cure is probabaly how that basic garden hoe slipped through the cracks)

https://youtu.be/Wi0FEUaZULs - RH Factor

https://youtu.be/4tH8IgoqLGM - Rh Negative

https://youtu.be/QcIy9NiNbmo - Bad Blood Taylor Swift

In celebration of this pregnancy and Elias being delivered from his witchdoctor ex wife binding him to her thru menstrual blood spaghetti...Heaven and all the Archangels watched this free movie currently on YouTube thanks YouTube. 🎉

https://youtu.be/3v8ZcvJUwas - Movie

https://youtu.be/uYuCE1UsyYo- Life Insurance (Tarot) You didn't tell your little congregation that your ex- husband (my actual husband) left you because he found out you were putting menstrual blood in his food (black magic) plotting to kill his real wife and then tried to kill him for life insurance money (inheritance) and the kids you had him babysitting and providing for were not his but his brothers...? TRASH. Whomever follows you, needs to work on their gift of discernment. Lilith confessed and moved on with her miserable self as soon as she was caught...not you though right? You are hilarious to me🤣

Elias' finally divorces his ex-wife and she decides to out herself as a horrible person by trying to make him out to be someone he's not (including attacking his masculinity...we all know you go both ways chill out dang no one cares you bitter widow witch.

https://youtu.be/jOQd-O0K7GY - Catfish (Pisces) Caught Tarot. (Just because these readers don't know your actual sign (birth month) doesn't mean I don't hoe. The reason it seems like they can't get your horoscope right is because they are picking up on the personality style of the horoscope they felt you were in during your criminal acts. Stay out of these readers comments! And just know that I know, ok thanks.

https://youtu.be/uQkLmp9Gm7c - Verbal a$$ kicking

https://youtu.be/bZWOXrYPSGQ - When you know the truth you can't get played

https://youtu.be/XwxLwG2_Sxk - Blinding Lights - The Weekend

https://youtu.be/aLbdfgY_IhM - The Matrix Trinity Escapes the Agents scene ( 🎶 God in 3 persons blessed Trinity...do you get it? Sigh...nevermind).

Bloopers 😂

Elias' Family Finding Out They Really Are Not Getting Any money...especially his greedy JEALOUS can't get a man without spellwork adoptive stepmother! I TOLD YOU SEVERAL POST AGO...you colorblind (racist) imbecile

https://youtu.be/GEpnuVGVw9s - 90 day Fiance

The Victim and Fasley Accused Takes the Stand

(FALSE accusations) : She (Elias real wife) is doing black magic against you Elias, she's just wants your money, she's a prostitute and she has children she doesn't take care of with another man and hiding an std...I've had sex with her before sorry bro... hahahahahaha shes crazy beccause all of a sudden you finding out she's reading the Bible and your beliefs don't match... Tarot VS. The Bible and I guess my skin color isn't good enough to be arm candy (but your ex-wife is copying everything I do ) This makes so muchh sense..

What I wish Elias had done is take out his phone with my phone number in it and nonchalantly asked me random questions to come to that conclusion on his own...just like his ex-wife and mother in 2020 made a fake facebook profile using his picture pretending to be him asked if I still lived at the same address trying to pinpoint my exact location once I switched my number.

While you were trusting everything these greedy lunatics were saying, when you could have just used your own experience and encounters you have had with me or at least pulled out your phone and communicated these rumors that were being spread about me right in front of your face; this fake family and wife of yours, that you wanted me to be jealous of was sending black magic to every location I was at..which is why God told me to delete all of my social media platforms and then move abruptly to a different location (my lease wasnt even up yet but the black magic they were sending was killing me so peace out betches). I didn't even know why I had to delete my social media at the time but I guess it was because your ex-wife (an actual prostitute & stalker that you have history of knowing is a prostitute and stalker pornhub) who you apparently married and had fake kids with due to falling prey to that pussy she sprinkled pigs blood over...was stealing my pictures trying to sacrificing my soul to Santa muerte in hopes that this exchange would pay off her debt and she could become a copy cat version of me (stealing energy or the soul/essence) and gain my inheritance by marrying you. GEE...why didn't I think of that? Maybe because...I don't do black magic...I use the natrual magic (google it)and traits God gave me, plus who wants to constantly pray and talk to a dollar store skeleton all day and a blow up doll (voodoo) out for blood sacrifices ew! Please don't ever show my picture to another woman (your ex-wife) especially one your fkn on the side, while you're talking to me...and then team up with her to do a love spell and spiritually stalk me because you miss me. A respectable man would have just texted me and finally asked me on a date instead of trying to force my free will. I was already in love with you dummy. Thanks

Modern Day Ruth & Boaz

FALSE accusations: She just wants your money!

Did you never think back to the exchanges we had at work or am I delusional? Work is the only place I have ever seen, experienced you. Did you see me talking to a bunch of men or staying to my fkn self? Did you buy me lunch or did I buy you lunch...Did I make it myself or was it packaged from a fast food place? When you asked me if I wanted something from the vending machine I always said NO! Did you take the time to get me anything for my birthday No but you got something for yours. When your racist grandpa died ...i was working night shift and even though I was working when you texted me drunk & scared about losing your father figure because you saw how sad he was about losing his father. Not only did I take the time out of my life and work hours to cheer you up, I even threw in your racist grandpa could probably still get into heaven because he's a human. Then I told you to get some rest and stop drinking. I never mentioned or brought it up to anyone else until now because I'm not the type to use people's weak moments to make them feel small (big ego a$$) unless I have to I DIDNT CHARGE YOU Sh*t! The only thing you invested in me was time, great conversation and Starburst and it wasn't even a whole pack because it was your pack of starburst. Damn, I even asked you once if you wanted to sleep on my futon...I guess you didn't but I still asked! AND I supported you and encouraged you when you got your stupid work from home position. At this point I don't even see you at work anymore we just chat on the group chat at work...and somehow you allow these idiots to convince you I am doing spellwork on you. MAYBE, Check on the woman (your ex-wife) who you got a restraining orders on in the past who you're miraculously married to and waking up to and who's slapping you in the face when you don't get her the right expensive gifts because she doesnt like sentimental gifts or she finds you masturbating to my old photos and starts spreading rumors about your masculinity to ruin your reputation or calling the policia to complain you touched her child or put hands on her when she's actually been sex trafficking her own child and has been beating you up as you try and protect them from her crazy a$$.

False accusation: She (Elias real wife doesn't take care of her children and spreads stds)

Uhm ... Did she mean the ones she read about in a tarot reading with the picture you showed her giving her access to the spiritual record (akashic records) of someone's past, present and future...giving her the idea that she could become me after learning I was destined to live a life of abundance with a husband (Elias) and his children ?

(JACOB (Israel) and his polygamous wives/family did something similar to Rachel ... no wonder why they killed her...it was like 4 female moms against 1 per the bible right? Bullying Rachel you can't have kids blah blah blah maybe if you stop doing womb magic on her out of jealousy she could have them ) You tell me Elias, Did all those children belong to Jacob or were they adopted ?

Back to your real wife just wanted money...

But your ex-wife, I'm sure she was getting money right? I'm sure she was going on dates and buying clothes that were labeled silk, but if not for the tag stating it was silk she wouldnt be able to tell the difference between silk from a thrift store and silk from a brand name store. (ALL I'm saying is maybe you should go off of your encounters and experiences you have had with people overtime paired with your intuition (God downloads) before you believe a rumor about someone coming from the mouthes of people who have actually taken your money from you)! Do your research next time that's exactly why you were paying for a child that wasnt even yours but living in house with you as you actually took care of it. (So that your ex-wife could collect even more of your money, while also living in a house with you praying she would become a widow as she poisoned your food in order to take your inheritance money). The f is going on people! 🤦‍♂️ Meanwhile, I guess you were stalking me (gangstalking) alongside her while I suffered and didn't even ask me once if I was okay while you both stalked me through tarot readings just like she used to stalk you. I keep trying to wrap my head around you were under a love spell by your ex wife and heavy root spellwork by your family so that I don't judge you so harshly. It's difficult.

ELIAS I am not saying this to make you feel bad or guilty.. we all have lessons to learn and i have been through enough of them to not care what anyone thinks accept God.

But I am not God and I do not always think the way God thinks...I think like a human and I get pissed off like a human and honestly its been really hard for me to look at these facts and what you could have done and not get somewhat irritated that you are going to be leading me and my children. Luckily, I trust God and if God says you're the one despite my "experience" telling me otherwise I guess I'll have to take a risk and see.

I don't expect you to be perfect or anything and it's OK to be scared sometimes and make mistakes..I don't expect to never be mad at you or the other way around ...but experience is pretty important to me so don't make me have to choose you over my experiences (evidence) again. Next time I'll find you guilty of betrayal because now you have experience.

By the way I've been rubbing my tummy and telling your babies you're on a military mission somewhere and I tell them 2 nice things I remember about you before you betray me (it helps with the nausea). ✌

(I can hear some of these crybaby garden hoes now this is blasphemy, you're a liar, round up these hoes, we don't want you here boohoo hoo ...if you got this far and this is you *rolling my eyes* shut up and mind your business before you and your bloodline get evicted, no one asked you to co-sign this blog you puppet..you should have been Rh- aborted...and you're lucky to be breathing air right now! )

https://youtu.be/eKCSxcMezeY - Elias and his real wife pinned against one another by his adoptive mother and polygamous wives (the gig is up)

https://youtu.be/-QID4M74ycg - Elias Adoptive mother and his concubine ex-wife work together to kill his real wife (his mom's a witchdoctor and a school principle unless she has an under the table PhD should we look into that next?). You know what ? I DONT THINK I WANT YOU IN MY BLOODLINE OR ADOPTIVE BLOODLINES. To think I ever encouraged him to show up at your "Christmas gift exchange" when he didn't even want to go. I would have encouraged him to give you some inheritance money too but you fkd up. Keep your side chick daughter in law you're just alike. Match made in Heaven. (and please don't die yet I want you both to be alive for your expose party).

https://youtu.be/Am4oav7v4pI - Elias learns his lesson and develops a backbone tarot

https://youtu.be/qfsS2lJWTUg - Much more advanced than tarot readers are the intuitive palm readers (stop greeting people with a handshake and giving them your fingerprints) Samjaza (Satan) is jealous of Humans or could you not tell (he's a hater). Samjaza: "but God you mean these humans still can get into Heaven after I used them to rape and kill Eve and I can't? But I was loved by you first!" Boo hoo 😢.

Stay safe out there and look out for subtle famine cues from your governments they know who we are lol

https://youtu.be/uCfogrDkOvE - Ew. preparation is key.

https://youtu.be/x2nb4x9BiQY - Unfortunately, we are not here to convince you climate change is not real or that it was made up to distract you so that you wouldn't believe our weather warnings.

https://youtu.be/cfi3mWIv568 - But our Father in heaven is pretty fair ...the least we could do is warn you. It's a spiritual moral. Try not to become a casualty of war you're not our enemy Or are you?

https://youtu.be/lnw0XGwPNi8 - Yes climate change

https://youtu.be/cvQ2LF3hyuY - Pompeii Bastille

#phoenixmosheh #Youtube

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