#and was just holding it in his mouth

[hedgehog-moss]

Look, friends.

Do you think this is a post about my adorable baby succulents? No. Look harder.

It's about the GIANT HOLE IN MY FENCE that I had to patch up with cardboard.

I can't blame Pampérigouste for this one; the brutish nature of the damage is not consistent with her usual modus operandi. Pampe outsmarts locks like Arsène Lupin; she doesn't charge at fences like a bull who saw a red cloth. This is Pampe Pondering A Fence Problem:

No, the damage to my fence looked a lot more mindless this time. Boorish. Boar-ish. I'm blaming a boar. A deer would have destroyed the whole thing rather than just the lower half. Note that there is not a single tuft of llama wool on the damaged wire mesh.

(Note no.2: the boar's smile was originally meant to be a tusk but it really just looks like a sardonic smile)

I brought some chicken wire to patch up the hole—but there wasn't enough of it. Then it started raining and I felt persecuted and decided to just cover the hole with cardboard and go have my morning coffee and get back to this later.

This is not an Innocent Pampe post; there is no such thing. My temporary cardboard solution lasted 8 to 10 minutes. I'm not sure exactly when she got out, but by the time I went back outside to repair the fence there was a Pampe-shaped hole in the cardboard.

(Not really; she just kind of lifted or ate a corner then wormed her way through the very small opening. I think.) (See, this is how you recognise a Pampe escape: you're not entirely clear on what went down, you just know there was a llama inside and now there is a llama outside.)

It was still raining and I didn't feel like going after her, plus it felt pointless to bring her back in her pasture before the fence was repaired, so I went in the barn to look for my tools and rummage through leftover pieces of previously-destroyed fences, hoping to find something the right size.

Then I heard Pampelune's hyena shriek, aka the llama alarm call. It was followed by:

horrified chicken screams and frantic feather noises; the soundtrack of a violent fox attack

infuriated barking from Pandolf

very loud panicked braying from Pirlouit

basically, chaos.

I ran outside just in time to see Pampe emerging from the woods at a full gallop, pursued by a bear. I didn't immediately identify the animal that was chasing her as the giant dog that he was, because he was running with a weird gait, with his legs going everywhere like he was frolicking at top speed (I now know that this dog is a puppy that has learnt to run just a few months ago, but that didn't occur to me at the time because this puppy is the size of a calf.)

Pampe was running towards the cardboard through which she had escaped and she managed to squeeze through her small corner hole again (I assume—there were trees blocking my line of sight and I only saw her again once she was in the pasture, running for her life along with the other 2 llamas + donkey.) Meanwhile, the dog didn't see the corner hole and tried to power through the cardboard much like a boar, or was carried away by his momentum and didn't brake in time; I don't know. In any case, when I reached him, he was stuck.

My large piece of cardboard was tied to the fence posts and still holding strong, but the middle was a bit soggy with rain and not too solid, so the dog's head went right through it. The rest of his body didn't.

He could have probably finished breaking the cardboard quite easily, but for some reason he instantly gave up. On life. By the time I got there the dog was half-in and half-out of the pasture and he looked defeated. Which made my piece of cardboard look like a mediaeval beheading apparatus with just a hole for the head.

I went to lock an angry Pandolf in the barn and checked on the chickens along the way (ruffled & offended but fine); I was hoping the dog would figure out how to extricate his head from the cardboard in the meantime. He did not. I tried to call him in a friendly tone (from behind) to encourage him to free his head by stepping back, but the concept of taking a couple of steps backwards in order to extract his head from the hole might as well have been advanced engineering. He clearly had no idea where his head was, where his body was, how to make the two a coherent whole again, and he started whining pitifully.

I untied the rope I had used to attach the cardboard to the fence posts, then wriggled the piece of cardboard a bit to try and free the dog's head. The dog was alarmed by the wriggling and took several steps back—but I didn't manage to hold on to the cardboard so it just moved with the dog. He clumsily ran away, taking the cardboard with him, wearing it around his neck like the world's largest cone of shame.

He immediately got stuck between two trees.

I was starting to find the situation hilarious, but the poor dog did not—he lay down and started making sad broken noises like a malfunctioning dog-robot. He didn't look very threatening but he was still a very big (and stressed) dog so I felt a bit wary of touching his head to help him, and decided to run home to get a box cutter. I figured I could easily rid him of most of the cardboard and leave him with just a soggy cardboard collar that would soon fall apart. I heard my landline phone ringing from afar and ran faster, and it was one of my nearest neighbours, the retired lady who lives on the plateau.

"I've been trying to reach you!! I saw your llama in my garden earlier, I was going to give her a little treat—" (she loves Pampe, for some reason) "—but then my dog saw her too."

I know this woman's dog—he's a tiny thing with fragile nerves who thinks the whole world is out to get him, so I asked anxiously, "Did Pampe scare your dog?" and she said "Oh no! Domino is here with me; but I have a new dog. His name is Texas."

I thought of the gigantic puppy currently sobbing in my woods, held prisoner by two trees, a self-inflicted cone of shame and his total lack of reasoning skills.

"Yes", I said. "I've met Texas."

The old lady asked worriedly if he'd scared Pampe ("Il est un peu zinzin" she said—he's a bit crazy. "I wanted to call him Rex, but then I met him and thought—Texas!!") I told her I was pleased with her dog for scaring Pampe, because she needs to learn that her pasture is her only hope for safety in this cold uncaring world and as soon as she steps out of it she returns to her lowly status as a prey animal. Then I ended the phone call because I was worried both about Texas and about the large hole in my fence. Thankfully all my animals were still terrified and hiding far, far away from Texas.

Texas actually managed to free himself before I attempted to cut the cardboard, but he still thought of me as his saviour and was very happy to follow me through the woods back to his owner's place. Before we left I propped up the cardboard against the damaged fence, and despite the hole in the middle no llamas escaped in my absence; I think the whole area still smelled like Texas and fear.

I'll admit I was initially tempted to leave Texas with his head stuck in the cardboard in a more permanent capacity in order to patch the hole in my fence with this amazing anti-Pampe Cerberus. Like this

(I know this artistic rendering makes my llamas look like frightened carrots and my donkey like a bunny but I will not be taking constructive criticism at this time)

#crawling along #llama drama #i spent an hour at his owner's place eating biscuits and being told all the reasons why texas is ''a bit zinzin'' #for example he runs away to the nearest farm to steal the cow feed (pellets) at feeding time #he was caught red-pawed by the farmer and just. stole the entire plastic tub that contained the pellets #and ran back home. holding this very large tub in his mouth and sprinkling cow feed everywhere along the way #this time around his owner must have feared he would come home dragging a bag with pampe inside or something

[theloveinc]

OlderDad!Bakugou who gets a haircut and his baby doesn't recognize him and he doesn't want his dad to pick him up 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Bakugou has a cry in the bathroom and you have to spend the rest of the night consoling him.

Also Hiiiiiii, miss u, hope youre gooooood

head in my hands bc of this, just thought abt bakugo growing out his hair a little bit right after baby's birth...takes him months to go and get a real haircut cuz he doesn't wanna burden you more than he already has and by the time he's okay with the thought (but only for "AN HOUR MAX," is what he says), he has a mullet thing going on and all this scruff on his chin🥺🥺🥺

so he gets home with his regular ol' haircut, maybe a little shorter just to account for ... not wanting to go again so soon, and baby's HOLLERING bloody murder as soon as they see him and refusing to be taken out of your arms, doing that thing where they're flipping their face back and forth to dodge a kiss...

it's so tragic bc not even a little cheek nuzzling helps to calm them bc bakugo's CLEAN SHAVEN and smells like aftershave instead of like dad when he tries!!!!!!

and after, you watch him kinda sulk into the bathroom, thinking like aw yeah thats a bummer but also pretty funny, too (esp bc the haircut does look good🫣🤓), AND HE DOESN'T COME OUT FOR LIKE an hour???

....until you finally have to ask him if he's okay in there and you're opening the door to him sitting on the toilet seat, arms crossed and red cheeks a little streaky with tears...

LJFKASDJFADSJK it's the cutest, most sad sight you ever did see!! ofc Bakugo tries to deny it, but the way he tears up again (after you're done assuring him he did nothing wrong) when his baby finally realizes it's him and smiles (and then how he refuses to give them up again until bedtime) has his ass. EXPOSED.

(i love and miss u more than air, earth, water, dirt + HOPE YOU'RE GOOD TOO BESTIE ILY)

#bakugo #HI PYGMY THIS WAS INSANE OF U TO SAY THANK U PYGMY MY BFFL #but sorry u said this and i had to rip the idea right out of your hands and put it straight into my mouth #i feel like i'm high on a drug i really do #bakugo doing that thing where he he refuses to leave baby or u for long periods and fights being told to go do something nice for himself #he's showing up to his first guys night in like 6 months and doesn't know what do with himself #needs a baby picture once and hour #and he gets home to baby asleep in the crib and YES he's upset he missed bedtime but also like. wow. alone time with y/n. #and he just wants to hold u🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and watch a movie and be together #and he;s finally at a point in his life when he's able to admit vulnerability and talks abt feeling like an inadequate dad. #and finally u just have to shut him up by fuc-[redacted for profanity] #oh my god gonna think abt this all night #ALL NIGHT I LOVE U PYGMY #caitie things #kids tw #gen #pygmy lurks

[petricorah]

lee from the tea shop boutta get it (wip) [id in alt]

edit: completed illustration here

#zuko #zukka #i wanted this to be a guiding hand #encouraging or like he's surprised it's happening but holding sokka's hand comfortingly #but something about the expression and the mouth makes it seem like he doesn't want it or he's afraid #i don't know i'll workshop this #mywips #i also havent read any ba sing se zukka fics but i do wonder how they'd work #like i totally buy that zuko was SO tunnel visioned to the avatar that he literally wouldn't know what sokka looks like #but i don't know how Sokka couldn't Not know who he is #unless maybe they met as blue spirit vigilante and sokka falls for him and this is the unveiling moment and zuko's afraid of his past #but sokka's like it's okay you're changing you've helped people as the blue spirit and i care about you. those feelings are real #even now #and zuko almost decides to change for the better right then but he gets scared and turns back and canon happens idk #mistaking his father's approval for love and his love for sokka as wrong #whatever. idc. something something i just wanted to draw short haired zuko

[saltpepperbeard]

the way several characters have told ed and stede to "shut up" in some way, shape, or form. but when they're both talking to each other, they absolutely cling to every single word. they can't get enough of each other's stories, or ramblings, or little recounts of their days.

#OFMD #OFMD Season 2 #OFMD S2 Spoilers #Gentlebeard #Blackbonnet #Edward Teach #Stede Bonnet #Revenge Rambles #inspired entirely by ed rambling on about his day/about fang's actual name towards the end of ep 5 #and stede just looking at him as though he hung the moon and stars #stede looking at him and absolutely holding on to every little word pouring from ed's mouth #and i think it's resonating with me quite deeply because uh #I TALK A LOT LMAO #IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED #and i've gotten in trouble for it/snapped at for it/told i'm being too loud whenever i'm being passionate about something/etc etc #so to have someone like...LOVE you for your ramblings #love you for everything you have to say #someone who is just as excited to hear what you're saying as you are with speaking it... #man #MAN..

[suashii]

kaeya peels your oranges for you but he holds each piece hostage and won’t feed them to you unless you pay him with kisses

#💭 manon’s mind #i am stuck peeling my own oranges <\3 #hence the fantasy #but yeah #just image him holding it up to your mouth #but pulling it away with an ‘ah-ah-ah’ #and tapping his own smirking lips #gotta taste him before you get the orange~

[reineydraws]

renkaza sketches based off the opening scene of the bear 2x09 bc the shots were nice :') less nice was me squinting at the low-lit scenes trying to make out their features and getting mad at my screen's glare but i digress 😂

#kny #kny fanart #renkaza #akaren #akaza #rengoku kyojuro #kny akza #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #demon slayer fanart #i loooooove akaza's eyes sm and also his adoring ways #this is so gay but im not sorry #also the intimacy of kyojuro's loose hair draping around akaza's face when they lie down and kyou leans down to kiss him 🥺🥺 #they just hold each other so close!!!!!!! #akaza's fangs peeking out his mouth are also fun 🥰 #this is also me 10/10 recommending the bear!!! pls watch it!!! #update: this has been in my drafts since aug 28 LOL im just gonna post it #my hang-up was that they felt super intimate but i fixed that by making the gallery photoset less close-up #but i wanted to show off the last one cuz it's my fave. alas!!! #i also really like the first one c: #and also the second-last one cuz i think it's cute when u laugh and ur partner kisses ur forehead 🥺🥺 #ah & i like the second one too cuz akaza looks so soft & his eye looks like it's so clear & glowing & he looks in love (which he is!!!!!!) #i guess i just like the idea of being in love and in ur lover's arms and being so physically close :'))) it's cute. it's lovely. i love it. #updated update: ykmow what im gonna post the set showing off the last one!!!!!! #it's cute and this is my blog first and i shd practice that better lol #i changed up the order too so now the second-last has become the fourth one l o l #anyways

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Would Bardaby (from the Fantasy Au) still do his affectionate biting as shown in the original WH or would it be different?

i'd say Yes Absolutely!

he's gotta be more Careful about it tho... look at those chompers...

#he's probably accidentally drawn blood before... just a teeny bit tho #so it might not be a Bite so much as holding his open mouth to wally - or whoever - yk? #little to no pressure is applied! #his teeth arent that sharp but theyre still Not Dull! #pretty much no one besides wally will let barnaby 'bite' them since uh. yeah Big Pointy Teeth #so whenever they look over and barn has his teeth closed around wally's little face they all get a little nervous #they know barn wouldnt hurt him But Still. Yikey! Accidents Can & Have Happened! #rambles from the bog #scribble salad #wh fantasy au #btw with all of my aus i have and will create - I Try To Incorporate As Much Canon As Possible! #and if i change or omit anything i Will have reasoning! #i like to stick to the source while also fucking around & having fun yk yk #so widely character dynamics and habits will be consistent! #the characters are still themselves! theyre just in different settings!

[miusato]

Whatever happened to "I ain't holding back anymore?" Huh???

#no like omg imagine after saying thay he still hesitate to do pda when they go out hskskskskqsjskq #hold his hand in public and suddenly he just foams in mouth #btw 4/10 never happened that's just a western propaganda to confuse the shinjiham allies #i am so ill actually i listens to shinjiro's sl romance every night before I go to sleep I think at this point i memorized the line #anyway aaa I want to draw more cartoony shinjiham but i am sooo busy ueueu im able to draw this because my assestment got postponed today #yall better pray i graduate fast so i can just unleash my true power and draw the normal no murder but angsty au of shinjiham i wanted #asukart #persona 3 #persona 3 reload #persona 3 portable #shinjiro aragaki #kotone shiomi #minako arisato #shinjiham #foolmoon #persona 3 femc

[curioscurio]

what if I told you johnlock was real in 2024

#artofcassafrass #this is the only holmes im like ok with that ive drawn #his face is so . frustrating to draw in perspective #watson is easier and as much as i reflexively give him a curly mustache its just not working for me #its because i have no self control and always over curl it and make him look fuckin GOOFY #so i draw the curl then erase and thats kind of the shape #to me watson holds his emotions in his nose and mouth when angry or frustrated. the motion is like puckered inbetween his eyes #for holmes its all like a horizontal line across the brow #from his browline and downwards is where the pull of his face goes. #also when acd was describing holmes in The boscombe valley mystery or whatever . i tried to speed sketch holmes #but it made me laugh and i couldnt finish #mans was on a MISSION

[thesapphiredragon13]

Heya! Sorry it’s late (as usual) but here it is! My piece for BillDip Secret Santa for @pchelaus .. hope you like my take on “Cosmic horror beyond our comprehension Bill taking a liking to flattered but confused Dipper.” !

I had a lot of fun with what features to add to give the whole ‘cosmic horror’ feel but you can never go wrong with some star speckled tentacles and extra sets of eyes lol.

#I would have added the two extra sets of star speckled arms floating beside Bill #but I ran out of time and I was already late so .. #. just imagine that he’s got them lol #Bill thinks he’s doing such a good job at looking human Lmaoo #he’s got arms! he’s got the legs! he’s even got the multiple eyes ! I don’t know what everyone’s screaming about?! #his more natural form is just entirely dark tentacles and arms and glowing eyes that’s bigger than a building #but it’s kinda hard to snuggle with his favourite human when he’s like this so #tiny form! #the face he’s hiding in Dippers hair is just a mass of inquisitive space tentacles #cause Bill can’t quite hold all his form in #essentially when he’s all excited to be juggling his Pinetree! #no mouth #Bill says mouths are stupid when you’ve got eyes and telepathy #art #billdip #billdip art #billdipss2023 #billdip2023 #billdipsecretsanta2023 #gravity falls #bill cipher #dipper pines #aged up dipper pines #billdipss23

[tightjeansjavi]

I need the HQ version immediately. IMMEDIATELY! I DEMAND IT. I NEED IT. I CRAVE IT

#pedro pascal #gnawing at the bars of my enclosure #TUMMY TAX #he can’t keep getting away with this #I just want to choke on it #and give his tummy kisses #is it heavy? #I can hold it for him #in my mouth

[yashley]

the legend of vox machina | the hope devourer: vex'ahlia vs. umbrasyl

#the legend of vox machina #ygifs #vexahlia #umbrasyl #the volleying of each turn is so beyond awesome and incredible and kickass I literally could pick So many insane moments #her arrow matching his acid breath?? her cuteass little ears twitching as she listenin?? his mouth being the Only visible before the blast?? #holding up vax between them and the way he just fucking chases her and it's like that harrowing heart sinking moment of #This is What It Means To Battle A Dragon #all of her expressions all of her fervor and then all of her fear I just... vexahlia you will never not be number one actually #dragon hating dragon hunting dragon specialist vexahlia battling a dragon will never not be the hottest fights actually

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 Brazilian Grand Prix - Podium - Fernando Alonso

#HE IS SO RADIANT ON THIS PODIUM I LOVUUUU HIMMMMMMMM #once all the pics get released on all the websites i think ill have mental breakdown pt 2 #my roman empire is hoping someone took a pic of him holding the hat in his mouth #real ones will know about my weird obsession with confetti....fufilled today #im so annoyed they cut away when he did his jumpy mario thing #he does it every single time they should know this!! #so thank you to aston's insta for the clips #not my best quality gifs which is annoying but uhhhh i am under duress from myself LMAO #i need to make a brazil 2023 moodboard just from my deranged liveblogs cause my god #see you in Vegas!!! what a way to end a triple header wow. it really made the suffering in cota and mexico worth it #now old man better keep up this performance istg #but like seriously i could wax poetic about his defneding and overtaking in this race #it was actually unbelievable the level of skill he has #to defend against the superior rb19 for like 30~ laps and then to be able to overtake it with his much slower car??? chills. #has anyone gifed his overtake bcs my god i fell down #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #2023 brazilian gp #we do a little bit of f1

[s0fter-sin]

soapghost

#i love repressed ghost as much as anyone but i also love ‘thinks hes straight’ soap unknowingly getting a crush on out and proud ghost #and metalhead ghost?? #punk soap and metalhead ghost??? #fuck yeah gimme #ghost whos been in pits since he was a kid and is now a veteran of the scene and the self appointed look out #he keeps an eye out for anyone falling or passing out #kicks the shit out of anyone crowd killing or being creepy #and hes been keeping an eye on soap since he saw him throw himself headfirst into the wall of death #thinks hes either going to start something or end up hurting himself #and if he does he needs to know if he did it on purpose #he uses these places as an escape and he knows all to well how easily an escape can be self destructive #so when he sees him sweat his mohawk off he has no issues with pulling him out of the pit and telling him to open his mouth #at first the glaze the falls over his eyes concerns ghost #along with the colour of his tongue and gums he half thinks the guys about to drop #but when he reflexively tightens his hold on his jaw soap shivers and he smirks #soaps dropping alright just in a completely different way #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #john soap mactavish #soap cod #we’re a team. ghost team #save post

[creaturefeaster]

doodle page from tonight

#goose is from memory so if its wonky. just pretend it isn't #based on one of my geese. he likes to walk slow and casual behind the rest of the flock that run off ahead #and he'll just hold his wings out like that the whole time he waddles onward #almost time for those eggs to hatch btw #just stopped turning them and they are due to pip soon :3 #have i ever told you guys about meeps #i used to make these little bitey mouth paper thing creatures i used to make en masse #when i was maybe 8 idk #maybe older i really dunno #but id just make hundreds of these things #and keep them in bags #now i have a few i stuck in a jar on a shelf collecting dust. bye dudes

[wooahaes]

dating wonwoo and going to the library he works at and asking him for help finding something and asking if hes free constantly. it always ends w him keeping a straight face and saying that he's happily taken (and ur like damn.... guess ill try again next time....)...... until one of his coworkers tells you off for being so relentless and never respecting when wonwoo says no. its probably seungkwan.

#wooahaes.txt #seungkwan is like wonwoo is too polite to tell you to go away and to stop flirting w him when hes in a VERY HAPPY COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP #and wonwoo is like. seungkwan. seungkwan its okay haha dont worry about it #and seungkwan just kinda mouths off only for wonwoo to just... wordlessly hold up his phone so seungkwan can see #his lockscreen which is the two of you squished into frame while at an amusement park or something #and seungkwan just. mentally he blue screens. hes gone. he will be apologizing to u for years.