'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
103 notes
·
View notes
Further 'Steve plays D&D' shenanigans.
He plays in what the party call 'baby's first campaign', the off tangent, more chaotic and lighter campaign that Eddie's running.
He doesn't play properly, because he has zero interest in D&D at all. Eddie lets him get away with it, which everyone else finds unfair, but 'tough shit kiddies, DM's word is law'.
Steve's only character requirement is that he always has 'the bag thing' (aka the bag of holding) and mostly uses it as a weapon. Annoying NPCs, enemies or fellow party members? In the bag they go, and in the bag they suffocate. Only worthy enemies get to be killed by his sword.
He doesn't remember character names or races, instead giving them a nickname and number. (ie frog guy 1, frog dude 2). Jeff and Lucas pick up on this immediately and join in.
At first he doesn't know which of his dice to use and when. Eddie gets used to just handing him the right one...so now Steve automatically holds his hand out whenever he needs to roll. (It's much quicker.)
Once everyone knows that he and Eddie are dating, he openly and blatantly tries to negotiate re-rolls for kisses during their smoke/snack breaks (and sometimes things written down on scrap paper that makes Eddie's eyes go wide). It works most of the time, and the kids hate it, even though it works in their favour.
Steve and Eddie clash only once, when Steve's first character dies early on. Eddie hands him another character sheet, very similar, and Steve immediately names him the same name. Eddie tells him no. Steve argues for a while before looking him right in the eye and changes just the first letter of his name instead (ie Rob instead of Bob).
Steve has zero connection to his character. It's just a fun game to him, but the others take it way, way more seriously. Open the booby trapped chest? Sure, Steve will do it. Drink the potential poison? Why not! Eddie will just give him a new character if it goes wrong. There's no actual consequences, unlike the Upside Down stuff.
Everything is a NAT roll to Steve, not just 20 and 1. Nat 4, Nat 8, the whole lot. Dustin hates it so damn much.
He tries to get as many NPCs to join their party as he can, mainly so Eddie can be 'part of their team' too, instead of 'just playing the bad guys'. Eddie tells him that's not how it works, but Steve's insistent.
In combat Steve WILL waste his potions of healing if one of the party annoyed him recently. Gareth was once rolling death saves, and Steve ignored him to heal a non fatal wound on NPC #24 instead. Gareth nearly walked out, but Will took pity on him and healed him on his turn.
It's a completely different atmosphere to the 'serious' campaign, but that's what makes it more fun. Even though Steve's main goal is to annoy the rest of Hellfire and prove that their nerdy game is supposed to be fun, they don't seem to actually mind.
In fact, they love it when Steve argues back with Eddie. None of them will do it, but the DM threats just don't work on Steve. He had to roll disadvantage all night? He rolls shit anyway. Threats to kill his character off? Steve doesn't care.
And on the other hand, flattery, flirting and outright bribery works so well on Eddie that it's kind of pathetic. Steve knows that Eddie wants him there and takes full advantage to get what the party wants.
Eddie refuses to let him join the main campaign because of it.
1K notes
·
View notes
there are multiple posts about there being made a deal with .. illumination ... to make a ....zelda movie..... over on twitter and i tweeted about me not being happy about it and hoping its not a thing (given how successful the mario one was ..... well, its gained alot more probabillity) and that yes i am 100% sure it will be bad and it WILL impact how i feel about the franchise bc i do care about it and dont want it to be bad-
it blew up over night and people got extremely upset about my opinion that i posted on my account so much so they either started insulting me over it, calling the zelda fandom toxic and insane (bc apparently i am the CEO of zelda fandom on twitter and am also toxic and insane) or start 20+ reply threads arguing with people while not untagging me on any of them
idk why it keeps happening that my random opinion posts blow up over there but maybe i finally reached a following size where i am in immediate danger of my harmless personal opinions to get passed around like i have some sort of authority over reality and i need to be rectified for it, but man its getting exhausting
so, hey tumblr!! thanks for not treating me like that for the most part!
here goes my actually unfiltered opinion twitter would not be able to handle
i absolutely HATE the idea of a zelda movie, and i think it CANNOT be good unless you somehow get hayao miyazaki to do what he wants with it but we all know that aint happening and i also hate the thought of having to wade through and endless amount of screenshots of it bc it will make me see it, yes this time i actually do have a seething hatred for it, can you imagine crisp rat link????? i took psychic damage just wrtiting that and no its not even worth to have it just to make fun of it bc this isnt a funney ye olden times CDI crap but a modern billion dollar movie thats inevitably gonna be seen by millions of people and i will have to live with the knowledge most people will think of that first when i dare even mention liking zelda, i cannot express the shame i would feel i wish i actually had authority over reality to stop it from happening aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
241 notes
·
View notes
people actually went on about how game of thrones made it socially acceptable to be a fantasy nerd, as though the lord of the rings movies hadn't been released less than a decade earlier and left far greater cultural ripples and i am just
got may have made the adults feel better about liking fantasy, but lotr got into the kids' heads when they (we) were just young and impressionable enough to be absolutely transported and emotionally rewritten by don't you leave him, samwise gamgee and my brother, my captain, my king and and rohan will answer
lotr was rewriting entire generations' brain chemistry long before asoiaf and so obviously it's not fair to compare any post-lotr fantasy novel to it, and each book series was trying to do different things within their own spheres and so that also is not a fair comparison, but in terms of the cultural impact of the adaptations that came out within a decade of each other, saying that it was game of thrones that made fantasy mainstream is baffling
game of thrones could only run because the lord of the rings movies laid the path, and i will die on this hill
120 notes
·
View notes