#and with people talking about the 2nd one i remembered I hadn't finished the first | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

loveroftoomanyfandoms · 8 months

Text

Cooking Up Love, Chapter 7

Pairing: Chef!Matt Murdock x F!Journalist!Reader

Rating: T

Story Summary: Here

Warnings/Tags: Hallmark levels of fluffy, cheesy goodness (and speed that their relationship develops, lol), no use of Y/N, Matt is not a vigilante, idiots in love, pining... so much pining

Word Count: ~3800

A/N: As promised, here's the 2nd half of Chef Matt & Reader's Sunday afternoon together! Enjoy!

And thank you as always to @theradioactivespidergwen for the super cute divider she made for me!

Tag List: @yarrystyleeza @hailey-murdock @mattkinsella @bellaxgiornata @danzer8705 @chezagnes @shouldbestudying41 @thepunisherfrankcastle @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment

Where the hell are we going? you wondered as you and Matt headed away from Clinton Church.

It wasn't like you weren't afraid he was taking you off somewhere to murder you -- you truly did feel safe with Matt and hadn't been lying when you had said that you trusted him. "Any hint as to where we're going?"

Matt shook his head. "I know it sounds weird, but I'd rather just show you, if that's okay?"

You nodded. It seemed important to Matt that your destination remain a mystery, so you decided not to push. "Okay."

You continued walking past various shops and storefronts until finally Matt stopped. "Okay, we're here."

You peered at the faded letters on the door.

Fogwell's Gym

You remembered Matt saying that he frequently worked out after service, but couldn't quite understand what was so special about the location that required the need for secrecy. Well, at least that explains the gym bag.

Matt pulled a set of keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door before stepping inside. "Come on in."

You followed him into the darkened gym and waited as he turned the lights on before looking around.

Cubbyholes lined the wall to the left of the door while several punching bags hung to the right. A large boxing ring was situated in the middle of the room, with wooden steps leading up to it.

Matt gestured towards what you assumed was the locker room. "I'm going to go get changed into my workout clothes. Be right back."

You nodded. "Okay."

While Matt was in the locker room, you took the opportunity to look at the flyers advertising various past boxing matches tacked to the wall. Johnson vs Lewis, Conway vs Roberts, Creel vs Murdock…

You sucked in a breath, reaching out to touch the poster. Creel vs Murdock. Now it makes sense.

You heard Matt come out of the locker room and set his bag down.

"This is where your dad trained, isn't it?" you asked, your eyes still on the poster.

You heard Matt sigh. "Yeah. Yeah, it is."

You turned towards him and froze. As handsome as he was while wearing his chef's coat and black slacks or a t-shirt and jeans, he was even more gorgeous in a black tank top, gray sweatpants, and tennis shoes.

Your gaze drifted up to his face. His glasses were gone, revealing beautiful hazel eyes that were fixed in your direction.

Matt must've felt you staring at him, because he ducked his head and began rummaging through his gym bag. "I, uh, I started coming here back when I was in culinary school," he explained. "I was struggling during my first semester and thinking about dropping out, so I came to the one place I knew where I would feel close to my dad to see if I could figure out what he would say."

He took out a small bundle of what looked like Ace bandages and began to wrap his hands. "I was having a particularly bad day that day -- there was this one professor who had been giving me a hard time about my need for certain accommodations -- so I began to take my frustration out on a punching bag."

You had found when people started to open up it was better to just let them keep talking rather than interrupt with questions, so you remained silent.

"With each punch I could hear my dad telling me that he was proud of me," Matt continued as he finished wrapping one hand and started on the other. "And that Murdocks never give up no matter how hard things get. So I decided to stay in culinary school and work my ass off to prove that I have what it takes to be a great chef and make my dad proud of me."

Before you could second-guess yourself, you walked over to Matt and wrapped your arms around him in a hug.

You thought for a split second that you might have crossed a line, but before you could let go and apologize Matt relaxed into your embrace, circling his arms around you and tucking his face into your neck.

You held him briefly, then let go and stepped back.

Matt began to redo the wrap that he had begun, keeping his face turned downward. "I've, uh, I've never actually told anybody about that before. Not even Foggy."

Your heart constricted. You couldn't even begin to imagine the hardship that Matt must have had to go through in order to prove himself as a chef. "Thank you for sharing it with me."

Matt paused. "I don't suppose I can ask you to keep that off the record, can I?"

You nodded. "I will, if that's what you want. It'll stay just between us."

Matt huffed out a breath. "Thank you."

You sat on the bench as Matt moved in front of the punching bag. "So, I suppose you're going to show me some moves, huh?"

Matt chuckled. "If you'd like."

You watched as Matt did a few stretches, appreciating the way his biceps flexed as he moved. And if your eyes drifted southward, well… you were only human. Cake, indeed. One could bounce a quarter off of that ass.

Your eyes snapped back to Matt's face, which bore a small smirk.

He reached out and touched the punching bag, found the center, then adjusted his stance, raising his fists in front of his face.

You watched in fascination as he skillfully maneuvered his way around the bag, landing punches as if he was squaring off against one of the greatest fighters of all time. He certainly doesn't fight like a blind man.

Finally he paused, chest heaving.

He steadied the punching bag. "Would you mind handing me that towel, please?"

You resisted the urge to lick the sweat off of his neck. "Oh, uh, yeah, sure."

You handed the towel to him. "So are you sure you haven't had professional training?"

Matt grinned as he wiped his face and neck down with the towel. "Yeah, I'm sure."

He draped the towel around his neck and picked up his gym bag. "I'm going to go take a quick shower and change, but I'll be back in a minute, if that's okay?"

You nodded. "Yeah, of course."

While you waited for him to return you checked your phone for messages, replying to an email from an artist you had featured a few weeks prior thanking you for your article.

You put your phone away and stood, glancing briefly over at the entrance to the locker room before walking in front of the punching bag.

You closed your eyes, curled your right hand into a fist, and swung, missing the bag completely.

You opened your eyes, frowning. Maybe I wasn't close enough.

You moved a bit closer, then closed your eyes again.

You swung at the bag, this time barely connecting.

"...Your stance is off."

You gasped and whirled around, a hand flying over your chest. "Jesus, Matt, you scared me."

Matt stood next to the boxing ring, this time dressed in a dark blue t-shirt that clearly showed off his muscles and dark blue sweatpants.

He smiled softly at you. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

You shook your head, trying to calm your racing heart. "It's alright. I was just… um… just…"

"Trying to figure out how a blind man can hit a punching bag so easily?" Matt nodded in understanding. "I probably should have told you, but I'm not actually completely blind."

"Oh," you replied, feeling slightly embarrassed. "I'm so sorry, I just assumed…"

Matt shook his head. "It's okay. The chemicals that got into my eyes basically fried my synapses, so whatever is directly in front of me looks like a black mass and the rest of my line of vision is what I can best describe as a 'world on fire'."

He tapped the side of his glasses, which you had belatedly realized were back on his face. "The red lenses help neutralize that part."

You huffed out a light laugh. "And here I thought you just wore them because they made you look cool."

Matt grinned. "You think they make me look cool?"

More like slightly mysterious and incredibly hot. Your face heated slightly. "Eh, maybe a little."

Matt shook his head with a chuckle. "Ready to head out?"

You nodded. "Mmhmm."

Matt gestured towards the door. "After you."

"So, where to next?" you asked as the two of you headed outside.

Matt shook his head. "Actually, that was my last errand."

"Oh." You couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed that you had to go your separate ways. "Okay, so I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah, tomorrow." Matt bit his lip. "Um, that is… unless you'd like to have dinner with me tonight? My place? My apartment's not too far from here."

You nodded, unable to keep a smile off of your face. "Yeah. Yeah, I'd actually really like that."

Matt unfolded his cane. "Great! I mean, it's the least I could do after you helped me out this afternoon at the soup kitchen."

Your heart sank slightly. Of course he meant it as a thank-you, how else would he have meant it? "Oh. Um, it was no problem. I was happy to help."

Matt turned the opposite of the way you were facing. "This way, then."

As you headed down the street, you couldn't help but entertain the thought of Matt having invited you over for dinner not because he felt obligated to as a thank-you, but because he hadn't been ready for your time together to end either.

You mentally shook your head. It's just as a thank-you for helping him out at the church, that's it.

…You just wished it hadn't been.

Why the hell did I say that? Matt thought to himself as the two of you walked towards his apartment. He'd had every intention of asking you to have dinner with him as a (sort-of) date, but the second you had said yes he had second-guessed himself and blurted out the bit about it being as a thank-you for helping him out at Clinton Church.

He mentally shook his head as the two of you stopped at a crosswalk. Maybe I can fix this.

Before he could say anything, you cleared your throat. "You know, I'm sure you're tired and I don't want to be an inconvenience, so I actually think I'll just head ho--"

"No!" Matt shook his head. "I mean, no, it's not an inconvenience. I was going to make something to eat when I got home anyway, so it's not a problem to make an extra serving."

He inwardly cringed. Way to make things worse. "Actually, what I meant was that I've really enjoyed your company today and would like to have dinner with you."

He could feel you relax. "I've enjoyed your company today too," you admitted softly. "If you're sure it's not a big deal…"

Matt nodded. "I'm sure."

"Then okay. I'd love to have dinner with you."

Matt smiled in relief. "Great. And actually now that I think about it, I do have one more stop before we get back to my apartment. I need to harvest some herbs from my plot at the community garden, but it'll only take a minute."

"Okay."

The two of you continued on as the crosswalk signal beeped and changed to walk .

"So what kind of herbs do you grow?" you asked.

"All sorts of culinary varieties," Matt replied. "Rosemary, thyme, basil, lavender, and mint."

"Oh, cool."

Matt nodded. "Unfortunately I have to outsource my herbs for the restaurant since I don't have the space to grow the amount that we would need, but this works for my own personal use."

He slowed as you reached the garden. "Welcome to the Hell's Kitchen Community Garden."

"Oh wow," you said. "I never even knew this was here."

Matt led you down the center path then to the right, following along the fence line to his plot in the back corner. "It hasn't been here too terribly long, maybe six months or so."

"And you said Claire from the farmer's market runs it?"

Matt nodded. "Yeah. She petitioned the council to turn the property into a community space and keeps track of who has which plot and everything."

You hummed. "I might have to talk to my boss about covering the community garden for the paper too. This is really neat."

"That would be great. It definitely would raise more awareness and hopefully bring more funding for upkeep." Matt stopped in front of his plot. "This is mine."

He knelt down and felt his basil plants before picking a few leaves and placing them into a small storage container he kept in the side pocket of his gym bag. "All set."

He led you back out of the garden and down the street towards his apartment building, frowning at the distant rumble of thunder. Well, there goes my plan to have dinner on the roof. "Sounds like it's about to rain."

"Yeah, it does seem like it's getting a bit cloudy," you replied. "Is your place much farther?"

Matt shook his head. "No, it's just up ahead."

"Oh, okay."

You walked the rest of the way in comfortable silence.

"Okay, here we are," Matt said as you reached his apartment building.

He led you to the elevator and pressed the button for his floor, the sound of rain beginning to fall as the elevator began to ascend. "Sounds like we made it just in time."

"Yeah, thank goodness," you replied. "I wasn't expecting it to rain so I didn't bring my umbrella with me."

You can always just stay the night… Matt shook his head. "I have one you can borrow if you need to, or I can call you a cab if it's still raining hard when you leave later."

He took his keys out of his pocket as the elevator stopped and the doors opened. "This way."

He led you down the hall to his apartment and unlocked the door, then opened it and ushered you inside as another roll of thunder rumbled overhead.

He closed the door and dropped his keys into the bowl on the side table in the entryway before folding up his cane and setting it next to the bowl. "Come on in."

He tried to ignore his sudden nervousness. It had been a long time since he'd had someone who wasn't Foggy or Karen in his personal space and hoped you wouldn't judge how barren his apartment was.

He turned on the lights then headed to his refrigerator. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Oh, um, sure," you replied. "Whatever you're having is fine."

He heard you walk over to the large window in his living area as he pulled out 2 bottles of beer along with a block of pecorino cheese and some pancetta. He had gotten an incredible deal on his apartment because of the gigantic neon sign that was situated on the roof of the neighboring building, so he was sure that was what you were looking at.

He quickly washed the fresh basil he had picked and patted it dry, then set the cheese and pancetta down on the kitchen island before popping the tops off of the bottles and walking over to you. "Here you go."

Your fingers brushed his as he handed you the bottle, a now-familiar tingle coursing through Matt's veins. "Thank you."

Matt swallowed and took a sip of his beer. "Quite the view, huh?" he said, gesturing out the window.

You huffed out a laugh. "It's very, um… picturesque."

Matt shook his head with a grin. "Funny, that's exactly how the real estate agent that sold me this place described it." He leaned in conspiratorially. "I have a feeling she might not've been telling me the truth though."

You laughed again. "Okay, it is a bit obnoxious."

Matt chuckled. "I really do keep meaning to get some blackout curtains, but since it's just me it's never really been a bother."

You hummed. "I honestly don't mind it. It gives your apartment an interesting glow."

Matt could imagine the two of you together on his sofa, the glow of the billboard the only light in the darkened room as he gently caressed your cheek, your lips inches from his own--

He mentally shook his head and gestured to his kitchen island. "Have a seat and I'll get started on dinner."

He heard you sit as he began to gather the rest of the ingredients, placing the eggs he had taken out of his refrigerator that morning into a bowl and setting it on the island before washing his hands and filling a pot about halfway with water.

He set the pot on the stove and seasoned it with some salt, then turned the burner on high to let the water boil.

He crossed back to the island and roughly chopped the fresh basil he had picked, then quickly whisked together 3 egg yolks and an entire egg before grating a generous amount of cheese into the mixture, giving it an additional stir before setting it aside.

He could feel you quietly watching him as he unwrapped the pancetta and began cutting it into small cubes, unable to help but wonder what you were thinking. You'd had the same focus the day before when he had made your crepes, but you had been recording your conversation then and had asked questions about his culinary process. This felt… different. More personal, like you were deep in thought.

He cleared his throat. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"What?" You startled slightly. "Oh, sorry, it's nothing. Just trying to figure out what we're having for dinner."

You were lying to him, but Matt couldn't figure out exactly why or what about. "Oh, I'm making spaghetti carbonara. It's traditionally made with guanciale, but my supplier was out, so pancetta will have to suffice for today."

"Your supplier… Oh, right, Frank, wasn't it?"

Matt shook his head then moved back to the stove, dropping the spaghetti into the pot of boiling water before moving the pancetta to the pan. "He doesn't do cured meats. I get those and other specialty items from Nelson's Meats."

You made a curious sound. "Nelson… as in Chef Nelson?"

Matt nodded as he stirred the pancetta around. "Foggy's family owns it. Best capicola in the tri-state area."

He finished cooking the pancetta and turned the skillet off, then scooped some of the pasta water into a measuring cup before draining the pasta and adding it to the pancetta. "Dinner's almost ready if you want to move to the table."

"Okay."

As you moved to Matt's dining table, he gave the egg mixture another stir before pouring it into the pan, adding a bit of the pasta water and using tongs to mix it all together.

Once it was a perfectly smooth consistency, he added some freshly-ground black pepper and separated it into two bowls before adding an extra sprinkle of cheese and some chopped basil on top of each serving.

He placed a fork in each bowl, then brought them over to you, setting yours in front of you and his in front of his spot across from you. "Dinner is served."

You gave a slight gasp. "Oh my goodness, Matt, this looks amazing."

"Thanks." Matt quickly grabbed two wine glasses and gave them a quick rinse before taking a bottle of Pinot Gris out of his refrigerator and pouring you each a glass.

He set your glass down before sitting across from you. "The beer we were drinking doesn't really go with carbonara so I've selected a wine pairing, if that's alright?"

You gave a hum of affirmation. "Of course it's alright."

Matt nodded. "Okay, well, enjoy."

He waited nervously as you took a bite.

You let out a pleased sound. "Oh my goodness, this is so good."

Matt grinned in relief. "Yeah?"

"Yes, absolutely. Everything you've made for me so far has been amazing."

"I'm glad." Matt took a bite of his own carbonara, the silky smoothness of the sauce pairing perfectly with the crispy pancetta and al dente noodles. "It's not quite traditional carbonara but it's very close."

"Right, you said it's traditionally made with guanciale."

Matt nodded. "And no herbs are usually added, but I like the flavor a bit of fresh basil adds to the dish."

"Mmm. Mmhmm. Yeah, I like it too."

You both continued eating and once you were done, Matt stood. "Here, I'll get this for you."

"Thanks."

"I'm afraid I don't have any dessert prepared, but would you like another glass of wine?"

"Yeah, I'd love one."

Matt grabbed the bottle of Pinot Gris and refilled your glasses. "Care to go sit on the couch?"

"Sure."

You took a sip of wine as the two of you sat together on Matt's sofa. "I really like your apartment, by the way. It suits you."

Matt shook his head with a small smile. "It's not much, but it's home."

You huffed out a laugh. "It's not what I originally expected, but to be honest, neither were you."

"Oh?" Matt turned towards you. "And what did you expect?"

"About you or your apartment?"

"Mmm, both, I suppose."

"Well, had I based my idea of what your apartment would be like on my first impression of you it would've been cold and industrial with no heart."

Matt winced. "Ouch."

"However, having gotten to know you over the past few days I would say warm and inviting with a certain charm."

A smile spread across Matt's face. "You think I'm charming?"

"Your apartment? Very. You? Maybe a tiny bit."

Matt smirked at the teasing tone in your voice. "A tiny bit? I guess I'll just have to work harder on charming you then."

You let out a light laugh. "No need, I'll send you a copy of my article before publication anyway."

"Okay, thanks." Although that's not the reason I want to charm you.

You finished your glass of wine. "And speaking of my article, I should probably get going -- I have to be at the Bulletin early tomorrow for our weekly staff meeting."

Matt nodded and stood. "Here, I'll walk you out."

"Thanks for inviting me along today," you said softly as you reached the door. "I had a really great time."

Matt nodded, unable to keep a smile off of his face. "I did too."

"I'll see you tomorrow evening?"

Matt nodded again. "Six o'clock?"

"Yeah, that sounds perfect."

"Okay, great."

The two of you stood there for a moment longer. Finally you reached out and gave Matt a brief hug. "Goodnight, Matt."

Matt hugged you back, committing what he could of you to memory. "Goodnight."

He waited as you let yourself out, an idea forming in his mind.

…He just hoped he was able to pull it off.

#lotmf writes #Cooking Up Love Masterlist #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock x female reader #matt murdock x you

85 notes · View notes

cloudcountry · 6 months

Text

i created my own ikemen wrapped for 2023. this is how i feel about the routes i played by the end of the year!!

this isnt spoiler free so tread carefully!!

IKEMEN VAMPIRE!!

im sorry jean you would have had a higher rating if i DIDN'T play your route. i'm mostly neutral towards a lot of them but i ADORE the top four. it becomes even funnier when you realize that the top four are the only ones whose routes i have completed.

i played isaac's route twice, shakespeare's route twice, vincent's route once, and arthur's route once. i started comte's route only to drop it, and i am currently on jean's route!! i did not diversify my suitors at all JAHSJASGHD

a memorable thing about each suitor i played this year:

one thing i remember about isaac is when he started to fall in love with her, the scene in the church when he tied that ribbon in her hair. i nearly choked when he called her darling, he was smiling so sweetly and holding her so close. it was such a tender scene.

( honorable mention to that certain fanart i was tagged in so many times that the op called me a true isaac lover or something along those lines. it made me really happy that so many people, even people i didn't know, knew how much i adore him. )

for will, my most memorable moment of him was when i realized i loved him after playing vincent's route. i hadn't cried that hard over a character's misfortune in a while, but will's always been good at giving me a rollercoaster of emotions.

( honorable mention to vio calling my love for will blinding, ive thought about it a lot ever since she said that C: )

my most memorable moment of vincent was when he tried so hard to make mc genuinely smile on her first few days in the mansion. he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable so he tried his absolute best to make sure she could be herself and be happy. he really is an angel.

for arthur, it is one hundred percent his apology to mc for almost biting her. i've never seen him look more like a sad puppy in my five months of playing and honestly, it was so nice to see him reflecting on his actions and actually being able to admit his feelings (since we know arthur isnt the best with that.)

( once again, honorable mention to my enemies to lovers arc with this man. he's really not as bad as he appears, he is one of the most tender hearted and sweet men in the whole game. give him a chance if your heart allows it!! )

even though i'm not done with either comte's or jean's route, comte's most memorable moment was when he called the mc strong in chapter one. it was nice too see someone acknowledge her situation and try their best to help her instead of biting her. side eye.

and on that note, i'm sorry jean but your most memorable moment is the only one that made me angry. i hate that he bit her and i hate that the writing just skipped past it like it meant nothing. im blaming this on the writing itself because i believe jean's route is a good route so far, but it would have been so much better if it had a different beginning. but if i pick one that was actually wholesome, i'd say whenn he took her to the field of lilies and said the flowers were very her.

i started playing on july 2nd, 2023!! and what a journey it has been ^^

IKEMEN PRINCE!!

my first route was yves!! i wanted to play licht's first but people talked me out if it because his route is HEAVY!! i ended up playing rio's, then licht's, then nokto's, then i played about halfway through clavis's before keith's route was released. i played keith's route twice and then hopped back over to clavis, and i'm currently finishing up his route!!

a memorable thing about each suitor i played this year:

when mc chased after yves when he was leaving for obsidian just to tell him she loved him i was SCREAMING. i remember really admiring how much strength it must have taken to go to the kingdom that abandoned you.

for rio, it was 100% the discussion he had with nokto about how he doesn't want to be with mc because he might put her in danger by being with her, but ultimately he can't help himself. that was such a good insight into his character.

licht's route was. intense. and because of that it was packed with moments that i agonized over. but overall, i think what nokto told mc about how the closer she got to licht, the more she was hurting him stuck with me the most. it really showcased the bond between the twins and sent a knife through my heart :C

i actually forgot i played nokto's route and skipped right over him, and that probably says a lot LMAO oops. honestly i thought his route's pacing was weird but the romantic ending was very cute. the most memorable moment from his route wasnt even a cute one HELP!!! when mc straight up slapped him for no reason and he was like "oh so slapping me helps you huh??" and she was like " :(( no...." and then they made out like WHAT!!!

clavis is also a very memorable person, and after spending a lot of time analyzing him i know why so many people love him now. something that really stuck with me was his philosophy on government and how the current ruler decides whats right and wrong. i think the same about people in power so it was nice to see my sentiments reflected in a prince.

oooh its time for my favorite prince!! keith also had a lot of memorable moments and ive been sitting here for like ten minutes trying to pick out the best ones.

for nice keith, i'd say the moment when he told mc he would try his best to stop saying "a guy like me" and "i'm sorry" over and over. it really touched me because i know how hard it is to break that habit and it made me really happy when he said he'd try ^^

wicked keith was such a TEASE but the most memorable moment with him was when he and mc went out to that cafe and he actually answered a lot of her questions. i know that may seem trival but it felt like a sigh of trust to me and that felt really sweet.

( honorable mention to the scene were they gave mc the earrings they picked out for her during the christmas event, i actually cried. )

i started playing on july 11th, 2023!!

IKEMEN REVOLUTION!!

my first route was kyle ash and honestly i'd say for a guy i don't like romantically his route was very memorable. he's a great first route and if anyone is a bit indecisive as to who they want to pick i'd definitely recommend him!! ANYWAYS moving on, i played harr's route next, then edgar, zero, jonah, then i tried playing ray's but he was being stinky so i started lancelot's route.

a memorable thing about each suitor i played this year:

like i said, kyle had one of the best route i've ever read. listen to vivi aka the ikerev authority people. i remember lots of bits and pieces from his route, such as his determination to keep people alive, his pig goo, mc making him soup so he wouldnt drink himself to sleep, his gentle care for her once he figured out he liked her, how he pointed out the full moon and told her she could go home and was happy when she chose to stay, how he waited until everything was over to let her know how he felt, how he DIDNT DRINK on the night he wanted to make love to her, OUOTUOROUGUOUROHGH IM TELLING YOU HIS ROUTE WAS TOP TIER. but the thing that stood out to me the most was how him and mc worked together to save amon, and furthermore, to uphold kyle's principles. it was so heartwarming when mc told him to stick to what he believed in (even if i wanted to punch amon's teeth out during that scene)

i would keep talking about kyle's route but i have to move!! on!! because harr's route was peak domesticity. the first time he took his mask off in front of mc is one of my favorite moments (i actually did a happy little dance when i saw the other half of his face ehhe) because it shows such beautiful trust in her and arghgougohugo INSANE.

the most memorable moment of edgar's route was absolutely when he was so hesitant to let alice hold his hands, but when she takes them so comments on how warm they are. it was such an emotional moment because edgar was definitely feeling very complicated but alice was still there for him. i love them together :((

( honorable mention to vio saying i was alice reincarnated when i talked about that scene were they were all calling sweets evil LMAO that made me very giddy ^^ )

( second honorable mention to edgar asking mc if she thought pickles were a wolf in sheep's clothing??? weirdo. )

i was intrigued by zero all the way back in harr's route, and i started to really like him during edgar's route when he was trying his best to protect mc, which was really sweet. absoLUTELY the most memorable moment in his route was when he was fighting against the magic tower and he emerges from the rubble with an injured arm and a smile, just to tell alice "i'm home." i was crying like a BABY. zero i love you. please marry me.

jonah's route is a classic and a fan favorite, and i can see why. he starts out being arrogant and hell (and its irritating tbh) BUT he melts so quickly under gentle love and care. anyways, the red army routes seem to have a theme of giving up your position for what you believe is right because it happened like three times okay!! and jonah became a "traitor" to the red army just to protect alice. it was him and her against cradle and i will NEVER forget that.

lancelot's first impression was really bad but after playing all the red army routes and finally, his own route, i've grown to like him a lot. what really sticks out to me about his route is when he takes mc away from the dance floor because they're being stared at and they have a heart to heart. he tells you a single white rose would suit her or smth along those lines and when i looked up the meaning and saw it meant hope and renewal i DIED.

i started playing on july 27th, 2023!!

IKEMEN SENGOKU!!

my first route for sengoku was mitsunari, then kenshin, then kennyo, then sasuke, then kanetsugu, then yoshimoto. the only routes that didn't bore me to death at the end were mitsunari's, kennyo's (i was actually shocked when the route ended, it felt like the perfect length to me), and sasuke's. i can't speak for yoshimoto though since i just started. i feel like ikesen has a tendency to reallyyyy stretch out the routes but maybe thats just me.

a memorable thing about each suitor i played this year:

mitsunari was such a good first route for me, and the most memorable part of his route was definitely when he challenged nobunaga for mc. not only was it unexpected but i was so proud of him for betting so much on his plan AHGRHGG mitsunari my beloved.

kenshin's route was crazy but EASILY the best part was when mc rode into battle with an army of her own to stop kenshin from FLATTENING the country. she kicked ASS and earned the title "goddess of war" for what she did and that was so cool of her.

i played kennyo's route because of the parallels between him and kenshin and WOW i did not regret it. his route was phenomenal but the most memorable part was when mc and him buried the bell that kennyo had kept with him to remind him of all the lives he felt he was at fault for losing. it symbolized finally letting those people have their peace, and furthermore, kennyo's inner peace. it was beautiful.

sasuke really got me when he THREW himself into battle with kenshin after kenshin lied about him and mc liking each other. sasuke's desperation to let her know that he couldn't stand her being with someone else made my heart RACE. it was so nice to see a suitor finally being on the more "selfish" side.

kanetsugu's route had the Wonderful experience of mc carrying a head!! a decapitated head!! and while i'm sure he has a lot of cute moments (one of them being when he told mc he loved her and she FREAKED OUT) I CANNOT GET OVER MC PICKING UP A DECAPITATED HEAD LIKE ITS NOTHING!!! shes a trooper.

yoshimoto's route gives you the unique (and memorable!!) experience of a warlord actually viewing you as a friend instead of an enemy!! (keep in mind this is coming from someone who has only played ONE oda forces route. im constantly on the "enemy side" oops) i thought his mindset was very refreshing after months of "oh nooo we cant see each other we're enemiesssss"

i started playing on july 27th, 2023!!

this took me so long to write oh my goodness. it was fun though!! im thinking about how all of this information is only five months worth of playing so i dont know how im going to handle TWELVE MONTHS PLUS A NEW GAME but i'll figure it out. i might leave the fandom before then idk!! who knows!! but anyways thank you if you read my thoughts i love sharing them even though i know its a lot hehehe

#ikemen wrapped for sillies!!#ugh i loev keeping track of things #organization my beloved #auburn talks ikevamp <3 #auburn talks ikepri <3 #auburn talks ikesen <3 #auburn talks ikerev <3

7 notes · View notes

lunamists · 9 months

Text

Those Who Skate Together [BKDK]

//CW: Angst, Panic Attack, Belittling, Bullying, Shindou x Izuku, BKDK endgame + happy ending//

Izuku remembers the way his childhood best friend held his hand as he helped him learn how to skate with his first ever pair of roller skates. Their moms took them to the skatepark and made sure they were in a less congested area before allowing them to begin skating.

Izuku got the hang of it quickly but had a decent amount of spills either way. Katsuki patched him up with Band-Aids with every scratch he got and encouraged him through it all.

That core memory was what kept Izuku into the hobby, even through the years he no longer had Katsuki by his side and was teased by his peers for roller skating to and from school. Izuku dealt with this and just enjoyed what he liked most. Thought it felt a lot different now that Katsuki wasn't there by his side.

Katsuki moved away and they've all been so busy and unable to meet up. After some years their parents lost contact with one another.

So Izuku was alone all the way up until his 2nd year of high school.

That was when he met his first boyfriend, Shindou Yo.

Shindou told him how beautiful he thought he was and started to get to know Izuku. Izuku was happy to have someone so infatuated with him.

He hadn't had that since Kacchan. So, he gave him his everything, and they became an item. They instantly became a hot topic around the school, Shindou was popular, talk about him spread fast. Along with just talk about them in general there were a lot of eyes on Izuku.

Izuku had already been the loner type and people thought he was weird with his constant muttering and what was worse was people constantly taunted him for skating.

"It was no wonder a weirdo like you started skating."

"Isn't that...a girl...thing?"

"You know not everyone needs to know about it, right?"

Izuku ignored these comments most of the time. He enjoyed what he did and wasn't going to let random people that don't even know him stop him. So, he continued skating to and from school and making sure to spend time during the day doing so, keeping his hobby up.

Well, that was until Shindou came up to him at his locker while he was tying up his skate laces. "Izuku.."

"Hm?-Oh! Hi Shindou! What's up?" He smiled brightly up at him.

"Do you really...have to put those on everyday?"

Shindou looked down at his skates before looking back at him. Izuku tilted his head confused. "I want to...why do you...ask?"

"I mean...can't you just...walk? You are kind of making a fool out of yourself.." He whispered, shaking his head. Izuku frowned as he looked up at him before finishing tying his skates and standing up.

"You know I do this to get home faster...to help my mom out?"

"Well, you could bike? Or just run home?.. Keep this a...y'know...hobby?"

Izuku shook his head, crossing his arms, "This is me keeping it a "hobby" Shin.." He sighed quietly, picking up his bag, "If you're worried about yourself looking like a fool you could have just been honest about that." He said before leaving the school. He blinked back the tears that stung his eyes trying to keep himself from being too hurt.

He couldn't blame Shindou. He was popular and it was probably hurting his reputation with the fact that he's with Izuku first of all and second of all everyone finding the skating weird. He understood that. However Shindou hardly hung around Izuku, and Izuku only actually skated when coming to school and leaving school. That was the only times people caught glimpses of him.

He got to school earlier to help out the teachers with their papers or cleaning their classrooms so no one saw him skate in the morning. In the afternoon, he usually had permission to leave earlier than the rest of the class due to how congested the halls get. He was always practically out the door when everyone was just getting to their lockers. The only reason Shindou was able to catch him today was because of him staying after class to talk to a teacher for a second about some issues in class he was having. Shindou was usually walking with his friends and talking to them later is what he learned so he left school around the time Izuku stayed until.

Izuku decided to let this event pass. Nothing else would happen, he couldn't let himself get too worked up over it.

---

Izuku started to rummage through his locker more frantically as the moments passed.

He couldn't find them.

He couldn't find his skates.

Each second that passed with him not seeing them his breathing picked up in a panic. He stepped back from his locker a bit, everything suddenly felt too much. He dug his palms onto both sides of his eyes trying to recollect himself but to no avail he ended up sitting on the ground as he began to cry. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't help but completely shut down. He didn't care about the stares that were on him as this happened. All he cared about was the fact his skates were gone.

Everything continued to push him down until he got pure silence all around him. He uncovered his eyes and looked up at his teacher, Mr.Aizawa, right in front of him. "My classroom?" He asked, voice quiet. Izuku looked at him for a long moment, focusing from him to the now empty halls to anything he could pull his focus to.

"I.."

"Take your time." Aizawa, shook his head, sitting down next to him.

"Skates..my.."

"Shh..give yourself time." Izuku let his breathing even out for awhile. His shaking slowing down and he was less zoned out. He frowned, hugging his knees to his chest. "S-Sorry.." "No need, Midoriya. Head on to my classroom. I'll bring you tea from the teachers lounge. You can take the blanket out of my drawer if you need to, might help with compression." He told him, standing up, holding his hand out for Izuku to take.

Izuku looked at his hand for a second before shakily taking it, letting him pull him up. "Take it easy, we'll talk in a little." He told him to which Izuku nodded and made his way to his classroom.

"So, what happened? Take your time.." Aizawa asked him, passing over the tea. Izuku thanked him, hugging the blanket closer to him as he sat on a desk. He looked down at his lap before frowning more, "I...my skates.. They're not..in my locker.."

Aizawa nodded, "Alright, we'll look for them. Do you have any idea what could have happened?" Izuku shook his head, his hands shaking, "N-No...and...and I'm sorry if this seems dramatic...those...skates are just really special to me...they're the last thing I got from Kacchan and-"

"Izuku.. It's alright, you don't need to explain yourself to me. I understand." Aizawa whispered to him, "Let me know when you're okay to start looking." Izuku nodded, sipping on the tea. "C-Can you let my mom know I'll be late coming home...so she doesn't worry?"

Aizawa nodded, "Already ahead of you, called her while in the lounge."

"Thank you.." Izuku finished up the tea before they began walking around the school looking for his skates.

They checked everywhere. They checked each classroom, the cafeteria, everyone's locker and they came up with nothing. They asked around, the other teachers said they hadn't heard much. Well, until they got to Mr. Yamada.

"Your skates are missing lil man? Shit, I'm sorry about that." He ruffled Izuku's hair.

"We're still on school grounds, keep the swearing to a minimum." Aizawa sighed, "But have you seen anything? A student perhaps leaving class early?" He asked him. Yamada hummed as he thought about it for a moment, "Well, Yo Shindou left class early. So did Tatami Nakagame. They said they were going to the nurse though. Nakagame wasn't feeling good and he offered to take her." He shrugged, "So I didn't think much of it."

Izuku froze up and his blood ran cold as he looked back at the door. "N-No.." Both teachers looked at him, Aizawa gently placed a hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"I..I don't...he couldn't have.." Izuku started to walk to the door which had both teachers following him. "He's the only one that left class at some point.." He whispered, his walking picking up frantically.

"Izuku.. Where are we going?" Aizawa asked him. "O-Outside.." They let his mind work as they rushed around, looking everywhere. They looked around the pool, the track, the trash. The final spot they looked was the gardening club area.

Nakagame was in the gardening club.

Today they weren't meeting so they weren't interrupting anything thankfully. Izuku looked in every single spot of the huge field. Aizawa and Yamada looked in other areas as well. They happened to come upon an area right in the corner that was almost hidden if not for the fact that it looked...strange. Yamada called Izuku over to the area and once he got over there his eyes widened. "S-Shovel...please..." Aizawa nodded, walking off to get one out of the shed.

Yamada looked at Izuku who shook some, "If they're here we can make sure there's repercussions for what they did lil man. These skates mean a lot to you, they weren't theirs to mess with." Izuku gave him a small smile. "Thank you, Mr. Yamada.." He whispered.

Aizawa came back with the shovel and handed it off to Yamada to start shoveling to which he did so. Izuku watched the hole become more and more uncovered until he saw them.

His skates.

Buried and beat up.

Izuku looked at them for a moment before shakily sitting on his knees and grabbing them as he teared up. They had some rips and tears in them now as well as unusable wheels. The insoles were ripped up and one of the skates' plates was partly off. They were overall ruined.

Izuku started to cry hard, hugging them close to him. His skates were ruined. His boyfriend helped ruin them. He kept repeating that to himself as he cried. He still had more time with them. Kacchan would be so disappointed that he let this happen..

---

"Here. Open it." Katsuki passed a box over to Izuku, his face having a light dust of pink on it. Izuku looked at the present before starting to unwrap it. Once it was unwrapped he opened the box underneath it and gasped, looking inside it.

"K-Kacchan..you.." "You have some room to grow into them. Those will probably last you some years.. You like your stupid red shoes so much so...I thought.. Maybe if your skates looked like them too you'd like them more." Katsuki explained, still not meeting his gaze.

Izuku teared up looking from both him and the skates before setting the box aside and wrapping his arms around him. "T-Thank you! Thank you so much Kacchan!" Izuku cried. "Oi! Who said you could cry in my shirt dumbass?!" He yelled but Izuku didn't miss how he slowly wrapped his own arms around him, relaxing in his hold. "Thank you.. I'm going to cherish these forever.."

"Look at them whenever you start to miss me too much nerd."

---

These were those same skates. Right before Katsuki moved away officially he gave him these. He wore these after he outgrew his previous skates right when he finished middle school. Katsuki had already been gone for a year at this point. Katsuki picked the perfect size for him...He still had room to grow into these ones. They could have probably lasted until he finished highschool. But now here he sat on the ground hugging those skates to his chest, his heart breaking as he cried in pain. He cried until he couldn't cry anymore.

Aizawa and Yamada walked him back inside the school to grab his things and they ended up driving him home. He looked like he didn't have the energy to walk back home. Izuku thanked them quietly and made his way into his house. His mother hugged him upon seeing his ruined skates and his saddened expression. She told him they wouldn't be able to get him another pair for awhile. They just didn't have the money for it. She promised the moment she could set aside money she would get him a new pair. He was happy that she was willing to go out her way but..

It wasn't ever going to be the same. These skates were special because they were from Kacchan. Now he had no way of seeing or contacting him. Now when he looked at the skates he'd think of Kacchan but he'd also think about how his boyfriend ruined them. He went to wash the dirt on them so he could still hold onto them. He couldn't bring himself to get rid of them. They were too special. He ended up blocking Shindou's number after this happened.

He knew he didn't like his hobby but did he have to go so far?

What better was he than the rest of the people who talked about his hobby negatively. He just didn't understand.

-3 years later-

Izuku hummed as he drove his way to a new skatepark that opened up. It was a little farther from where he lived, about a half an hour drive. However, this was the closest one to where he lived now that the other he used to go to closed down and got turned into something else. He ended up getting a job and helping his mom pay for a lot of things. This helped and he went halfsies with her for new skates.

They weren't at all like his old ones but, he was still happy about them. He was sad about the time he couldn't skate. It took so long. He missed it so much.

He only got his skates a couple months ago. That's when he found out the place he usually went to was going to be shut down in a month or so. He was upset but spent as much time as he could there. Now it was gone and now he made his way into the new skatepark. He saw a plenty amount of people, all clearly happy about this new park.

He walked to a more empty area and sat on a bench, putting his skates on. Once he tied them up all nice and snug he stood up and started to skate. He had some new tricks he wanted to try out and this was the perfect opportunity. He got compliments on his skating from people who passed by. He thanked them happily and continued to skate. After awhile he accidentally took a stumble and was going to get back up, shrugging it off, before being pushed back down by someone.

"Oops! Sorry poser!" This was followed by laughter from a group of people. Izuku looked up at them all slowly before shaking his head, "Look...I'm not trying to cause any harm, I just want to-" "Do the easiest fucking thing here? You know this takes no skill right?" Another one of the people laughed. "Boarders only dumbass, go back to the roller rink where all the babies go!"

"Look. We want this area, you're gonna take your ass back home for us, alright? Sound fun?" Izuku scoot back a bit, starting to shake a bit. "I...I'm sorry...I didn't mean to cause trouble.."

"Well ya did! Come on! Leave punk!" "Yeah leave!" They all started to chant for him to leave and Izuku went to cover his ears as he tried not to cry until a voice rung out.

"The true posers are you assholes. Get the fuck out and leave him alone!" Izuku opened his eyes and watched the crowd run off, clearly scared to get told off again if they didn't. He took some deep breaths, letting himself calm down while going to try and stand up again. "Hey-take it easy, are you oka—" The voice, more soft, made Izuku look up in shock, and gasp quietly.

"Deku..?"

"Kacchan?.."

Izuku and Katsuki looked at one another for a long moment, neither of them saying anything due to the pure shock that ran through them. Izuku had it running through his head that this was too good to be true. He had to be dreaming. There was no way Katsuki was right here.

But the moment Katsuki held his hand out for him to take and he felt the warmth of their connected hands he knew this was real.

Kacchan.

Kacchan was here.

After so long he was here and he still remembered him. "Let's go sit down." Katsuki told him, kicking his skateboard up and holding onto it with his free hand and pulling Izuku over to a free bench. Izuku blushed looking at their hands. It still felt too good to be true. They sat down in silence for a moment before Katsuki first spoke up.

"I'm...pretty surprise you're here. You still live where you used to right? That's far from here.." He told him. "Though, I guess we both drove a fair amount to make it here." Izuku tilted his head confused, "What do you mean?"

"Where we are now there isn't any skateparks." He sighed, "This was the closest one." Izuku frowned, "The park we used to go to shut down not too long ago.." He told him. "So I guess we're kinda in the same boat."

"What? That place shut down? That's shit!" Katsuki shook his head. "Why?" "They're gonna turn it into something else." Izuku sighed. "God...I was planning on going back there at some point.." Katsuki slumped, "Though, I guess the reason I was going to made its way here, so."

Izuku blushed, starting to play with his hands. "S-So...how are you? What have you been up to?" Katsuki shrugged, "I've been alright. Through the years I just went to school, kept to myself as much as I could. Didn't stop some dumbasses from clinging to me but it's whatever."

Katsuku sighed before looking over at him. "What's been up with you? Hows it been since I left?...Where are your skates? Did you outgrow them?" He pointed towards the new skates he was wearing. Izuku froze up at the question, thinking back to that day they got ruined.

"I..I..don't...I.." He stammered over his words, looking at him in fear. He was going to be mad. He was going to be disappointed. He was going to ridicule him just like everyone else has. He- "Hey..hey..is it a sensitive topic? Look..we don't have to talk about it right now.." Katsuki looked at him so softly as he held his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Whatever happened, I'm here to listen to it.." He told him. Izuku relaxed at how soft and tender his voice was. He'd always cared so much about his feelings.

"T-Thank you, Kacchan...I-I'm sorry...I just..so much has happened.. It's been bad without you.." He whispered, shaking his head. "I..I don't want to tell you here...but...I will tell you eventually.." Katsuki nodded, looking him up and down, "Well, for a topic change...you changed. You look good." Izuku instantly blushed, going to try and hide his face, "K-Kacchan you can't just...admit that!" He whined. "Why not? It's true nerd."

"Kacchan!" He whined more before taking a breath, "You also look really good...but I g-guess you always have.." "You trying to one up my compliment huh?!" Katsuki teased, wrapping his arm around him, ruffling his hair making him laugh.

"K-Kacchan!" He wheezed, trying to get out of his hold. "Of course n-not!! Kacchan number one!" He smiled wide. "Damn right I am." He said, letting go of him before standing up. "C'mon, let's see if you can keep up, nerd." He hummed, stepping on his board.

"I dunno, maybe you'll have to keep up with me, Kacchan." He gave him a determined expression as he stood up. "I doubt that." Izuku grinned at him before beginning to skate off, Katsuki following close. They ended up laughing and talking as they skated; Katsuki showing off new tricks along with Izuku.

As the sun started to set over the horizon they decided it was time to pack it up and head home. "I..I just got you back again...I don't really want to leave.." Izuku whispered.

Katsuki sighed, reaching into his pocket and taking out his phone, "Here, put your number in. We can plan meeting up here." He told him, passing it over. Izuku blushed as he took his phone, taking note of a photo of them as kids as his lock screen as he made his way to add his info in. "Make sure you text me!" Izuku passed the phone back over. "Or I'll have to find you myself." "Not complaining about that, Deku." Katsuki ruffled his hair again. "Take it easy. I'll text you when I get home. Say hi to auntie for me."

He nodded with a big smile, picking up his skates. "Ditto!" He giggled. They went their separate ways. The moment Izuku got in the car he ran his hands over his face, feeling the heat on his cheeks. He didn't realize he'd still feel this way. Katsuki treats him so well though, how could he not? Izuku laid in bed, happily texting Katsuki later in the night. They talked about everything and anything. They planned to meet up again same day next week.

They ended up video calling a few days later at Izuku's request. He missed Katsuki's voice and face anD him in general. This was when Izuku ended up telling him about everything that happened after he left. He told him about how bullied he got. He told him about Shindou. He told him about his skates. He still had them and ended up just showing them to him as well. He was shocked at the treatment that Izuku received. He wished he could have been there to fight off everyone for him. Izuku didn't deserve that treatment.

He found himself going to the skateshop he now frequented asking about custom skates like he did when he was younger.

---

"Mom! We have to get Izuku a gift!" "What? For what? His birthday isn't for another few months." "Just because! He's upset that I'm leaving! I just.. I-I want to give him something!" The young Katsuki argued with his mother while his cheeks had a dust of pink on them. Mitsuki looked down at her son and sighed happily, smiling softly. "Alright. What do you have in mind, kid."

It took some weeks for the skates to be finished up. They were custom made after all. It was just in time for Katsuki to give them to Izuku though. They were a lot and he used his birthday money to help pay for it but it was worth it. It was worth it for the look Izuku gave him.

---

Katsuki was devastated to find out what Izuku's ex did to those same skates. He must've known the sentimental value of them since he was told Izuku talked about them a lot to his teachers. It'd be unreasonable if he didn't tell the person he was supposedly closest to.

Seeing Izuku cry about it even after so long broke Katsuki's heart. He wanted to find this Shindou and give him a piece of his mind.

How could you have someone like Izuku and treat him like that?

Katsuki just shook those thoughts away as he paid for the custom skates. He made sure to add some more details that he didn't think about when he was younger. They'd be ready in about a couple weeks. Katsuki thanked the worker before heading out, skating back home as he received a call from Izuku. He immediately answered it and let Izuku's heavenly voice fill his ears.

Yeah, he missed this a lot.

"These are all your designs?" Izuku gasped, looking at the skate decks that hung on Katsuki's wall.

"Yeah, all the designs I saw weren't my style so I had to figure it out myself. These are all the ones I outgrew. My current board is my favorite design." He pointed at his board leaning against the wall.

Izuku looked up at him with that look of awe he only gave Katsuki. It made his heart flutter as he drifted his gaze away, his cheeks heating up. "You're so talented, Kacchan! I'm so glad you brought me here!" Izuku giggled, looking at all his merch as well.

"Oo! You still play the drums?" He asked, sitting down at his drum set. "Of course, not as much anymore but it's still apart of me." Katsuki chuckled at how excited he was. It had only been a week and a half since they reconnected and Katsuki invited him to show him around where he lives now. Izuku loved seeing the city but liked being in the quiet confines of Katsuki's room more. Izuku started trying to play the drums which mostly consisted of him hitting everything randomly.

"Am...I doing it?" He looked up at him. Katsuki chuckled, walking around to stand behind him. "I won't say you're not but here. Let's try a simple beat." He leaned down and gently fixed the way he was holding the drum sticks and held onto his hands.

"This fine?" Katsuki asked but Izuku was silent at their close proximity. He blushed feeling the heat of him radiate off of him and sink into himself. He slowly nodded trying to keep focus on what Katsuki was teaching him. "So, you hit this part with this hand consistently.. Then with this one once then twice depending on the beat you're landing on." He moved his hands starting to make him drum. "Then with your foot, hit the pedal for me, alright?"

Izuku did as told and all the while he blushed more. "Perfect. See you're getting it." Katsuki smiled, chuckling quietly. "I'm gonna let go, alright? Think you got it?" He asked softly. Izuku nodded, "Y-Yeah." Katsuki let go allowing Izuku to play by himself. "There you go! Fuck, you're a natural!" Katsuki laughed. Izuku giggled as he continued for a moment more before going off the reins again and hitting random things.

"Deku!" He reached out to grab the sticks from him. "No! You can't stop me! I'm your guest!!" He leaned back with the sticks making Katsuki reached more. "Guest my ass! Give me my sticks!" Izuku stuck his tongue out at him moving his sticks out of his reach every time he got remotely close to grabbing them. Katsuki groaned before wrapping his arms around him, picking him up from behind and shaking him. "My drum set not yours!" "K-Kacchan! Put me down!!" Izuku laughed, hitting his arms gently.

"Not until you put my sticks down Deku!" Izuku laughed more continuing to hold onto his sticks which made Katsuki start trying to grab them again. He ended up losing his footing as he did so, unable to catch on anything which sent both of them tumbling to the ground.

They laid there, breathing heavily before bursting into laughter again. "You can have your s-sticks back." Izuku smiled. "Fucking better give them back, bastard." Katsuki teased. They spent the rest of the night like this, teasing and taunting one another. The time passed faster than they liked and Izuku had to go back home. Katsuki sighed, walking him to the door. "I'm coming to see you next week, got it?" Izuku smiled, "Alright Kacchan. Do you want to go skating this weekend? I kinda want to learn how to skateboard...you taught me how to roller skate so.. I wanna learn your thing.." He blushed. Katsuki followed suit, his own face heating up. "Y-Yeah we can. I'd be happy to teach you."

Izuku nodded and hugged him tightly, "Thank you. I'll text you when I get home!" He said, waving. "Bye!" Katsuki waved at him, watching him leave before his mom came up from behind him.

"Why don't you just confess already, brat?"

"Shut up!... I'm getting there.."

Izuku hissed in pain at the scratch he got on his knee. "Shit.." "You okay?" "Y-Yeah..I'll shake it off I-" But Katsuki was already reaching into his bag, grabbing an alcohol pad and a big band aid. They'd been at the skatepark for a few hours, it all being dedicated to Izuku learning how to skateboard and this was the first bad tumble Izuku made. "Here.. It's...gonna hurt, take a deep breath." Katsuki told him softly before wiping the area clean. Izuku breathed in sharply through his teeth at the pain.

"Sorry..sorry..trying to make it hurt less...though I guess you've always had a harsher reaction to this part.." Katsuki chuckled, finishing up. "I guess some things never change.." Izuku giggled, taking deep breaths as Katsuki put the band aid on his knee. "Good as new. Do you want to take a break?" He asked, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "No break! Lets keep going. Thank you for patching me up, Kacchan.." Izuku smiled, both of them blushing.

They skated for a few more hours before decided to pack it up for the day. Katsuki walked Izuku to his car before taking a deep breath. "Next week.. I'm coming over, be prepared. Izuku quickly nodded, "Of course! Oh, I can't wait I'll tell my mom! She'll be happy to see you. Do you just want to hangout?" "That'll be perfect."

Izuku fixed his hair for the umpteenth time that day. Katsuki was going to be there soon, he needed to make sure everything, including himself, was perfect. He made sure there were snacks and drinks and that his room was clean and of course that there was no issue with Katsuki actually coming over. Inko was ecstatic to hear Katsuki was coming over, happy to get a chance to see him and speak to him again. Though, she of course promised to give the two of them space.

Izuku continued to look around, making sure everything was fine before hearing the doorbell ring. He jumped before smiling excitedly and rushing out of his room. He watched his mother already answer the door and went up to stand by her.

"Auntie, Nerd." Katsuki greeted, giving Inko a hug with his free hand. "Oh Katsuki! How you've grown, it's so good to see you again. You boys have fun alright?" She smiled happily at the two of them. Izuku nodded, "Thank you, we will!" He smiled, noticing the box in Katsuki's arms. He tilted his head in confusion but led Katsuki to his room.

Once they got there Katsuki set the box down and engulfed Izuku in a hug. Izuku blushed and instantly hugged back. "It's for you. I want you to open it, I have something to ask you after." "Right now? Really?" Izuku questioned. "Well, I saw you looking so better now than later." Katsuki chuckled, letting go of him. "Sit down? On the floor?" He hummed, grabbing the box. Izuku nodded, sitting down and watched Katsuki do the same.

It reminded him of when they were kids. A perfectly good bed was right behind Izuku but here they sat on the fuzzy carpet that replicated the one from when he was younger. He smiled up at Katsuki, his heart beating fast unexplainably. "Open it. Spare any words until after I'm done talking though, okay?" Katsuki passed the wrapped box over to him. Izuku watched him start to mess with the fuzzies on the carpet.

He did the same thing before when he gifted him before he left. Izuku giggled as he looked down at the box, "Did I miss something? I hope not." He hummed, starting to unwrap it. "Nothing. Just, you'll understand when I start talking nerd! Quit yammering!"

Izuku laughed and nodded, tossing the wrapping paper to the side before running his hand along the top of the box. He took a deep breath before opening it. What was inside made him gasp and look at Katsuki silently and in shock.

"You're already quiet. That's good. Keep it like that. I'm gonna talk a bit." Katsuki took his own deep breath and looked in Izuku's eyes. "Izuku. You...have no idea how much I missed you through all these years...I used to beg the ol' hag to just drive back here. Just for the chance of seeing you..even if it was just for a few minutes or even in passing..I...Did you know I cried when she told us we had to move?" He whispered quietly. "It was the hardest I cried..ever..I..I couldn't imagine my life without you still in it...and—fuck, I still can't imagine not seeing you for more than a couple weeks. I was constantly wishing just for..an ounce of hope. That's all I wanted..I made new friends..but they weren't you."

Izuku was already starting to tear up as he listening to him.

"No one could ever be..as amazing as you..and..when..when you told me about your ex..I..It all came to me harder than it had before that..I...you deserve someone that will make you happy..and Izuku." Katsuki gently took his hands into his own, squeezing them. "I..I want to be that one to make you happy..I want to show you what it's truly like to be loved...I've liked you for so long and I want to shoot my shot now. You're free to reject this if you're still scared but Izuku. I love you, and I want to be your special someone."

Katsuki had a fearful expression on his face but he didn't lose his eye contact with Izuku as he was determined to speak his truth to him. He's kept these feelings to himself for so long and he needed to know. He needed to tell him now. Now or never. "So..what do you say?"

Izuku felt the warm tears start to flow down his face as he looked down at the custom skates that looked just like the ones Katsuki had gave to him so long ago. They were so similar yet so different than the previous ones.

He couldn't even think about Shindou when looking at these ones. All he could think about was his answer to Katsuki as he jumped into his arms, crying into his shirt as he hugged him tightly.

"Of course, Kacchan.."

---

END

#bkdk #bakudeku #mha #mha ship #katsudeku

0 notes

miss-smutty · 3 years

Text

The Destructive Secret

Chapter 7

A/N- I'm back! At least I think I am 😂 I wrote this while I was struggling with writer's block so I don't think it's great but the next chapter I'm working on I feel back to the old me 🥳🤞

Summary- Are your lies finally going to catch up to you?

Word count- 2.8K

Pairing- Chris Hems x reader x Liam Hems

Warnings- Mature themes, cheating, swearing, smut

Strictly 18+ only!

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

Posted: 2nd Sept 2021

Taglist:- @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @jjpogueprincess @longlostinanotherworld @mostly-marvel-musings @darklydeliciousdesires @monet-belle

The Destructive Secret Masterlist <

The guy turned to leave before looking back over his shoulder at the door, his hand on the door handle.

"If it makes any difference I would choose you over your brother any day." He winked as he left the room.

"What the actual fuck." You shout, storming out of the bathroom in a huff. "There's no way he's gunna stay quiet, it'll be all over the press come tomorrow." You paced the room, your heart beating fast as the adrenaline rushed through you. This was it, this was how it was all going to end. Liam would know as soon as he saw the headlines, all those late night and weekend conferences at the same time as Chris was conveniently away with work.

"To be fair, he does have good taste in men." Chris' usual nonchalance annoyed you, how come he could stay so calm? Why did he make you sound like a crazy person for actually worrying about what might happen.

"It's really not funny Chris, do you want our business known by strangers before we even have chance to speak to Liam and your Mom Chris, she's going to hate me." You feel the warm tears dripping down your cheeks before you even register you're crying. The thought of their mom hating you upsets you more than the thought of Liam hating you. Cathy, their mom was like your own mother, from day one she'd taken you under her wing.

"My Mom would love you no matter what, you know she thinks of you as her own daughter. It's me she's going to blame, Liam's her baby."

"Yeah you're probably right but still what are we gunna do?"

"Let's relax babe, you don't know what's going to happen and you can't change it if it does happen so what's the use in worrying about it. Come here."

"You piss me off Chris, you're so laid back. This isn't something you can just sweep under the carpet. It's serious." You needed to take your anger out on him, to let it all out so you could feel better. The four walls of the hotel room were becoming claustrophobic, you wish you could just put your headphones on and just run for a while to clear your head, that's what you usually did.

"I know it is but what can we do? I've done everything we can do, now it's out of our hands. We'll work it out tomorrow, can we enjoy our last night together without all the serious talk?" He raises his eyebrow at you, smiling that sweet, goofy smile of his that has your heart melting.

"You piss me off even more when you look at me like that. I can't stay mad at you and how could I say no to that?" You put your arms around his back, loving the way his height makes you feel so small and safe. He wraps his arms around you, stroking your hair and holding you close.

"That's why I love you yanno."

"Why?" You ask, looking up at him through your eyelashes, your neck stretching to reach his height.

"Because you never say no." He laughs, a real laugh that you can feel on his toned stomach, shaking against you. It was the best feeling hearing him laugh like that, it'd been so long since you'd heard him laugh. Your life being full of a lot of drama and upset recently that you were appreciative of the little time you had left together.

"Maybe I should start then." You pout pretending to sulk.

"No way, I love how easy you are." He picks you up so you can wrap your legs around him, looking down on him for once. You punch him lightly on his shoulder, still pouting. "Ok, ok I'll stop teasing. You know why I love you though."

"Tell me."

He sits down on the end of the bed with you still in his arms, resting on his great big, thick thighs. He moves your hair behind your ears so he can see your face, studying it carefully with a look of adoration in his eyes.

"I love you because you're absolutely drop dead gorgeous, I mean the first time I met you, you literally knocked the air from my lungs. I've been obsessed with you ever since." He shuffles slightly beneath you, getting himself comfy. "This would never have happened with just anyone, I'm not a dick that goes around sleeping with his brothers girls." You give him a questioning look, your eyebrows furrowing. "Seriously, it took fucking everything in me to try and resist you. I'd never felt that before, never been one of them that wants what they can't have. Until I met you. Fuck me you were an absolute bombshell." You frown at him. "Are, still are a bombshell, don't look at me like that." He laughs.

"Tell me more." You whisper, feeling yourself tear up at his revelations as you run your hand through his hair, his eyes closing as you do.

"Am I stroking your ego?" He smiles slyly. "Do you remember the first time you met me?"

"Of course I do, me and Liam had already been together a year but you'd been in Australia. I was eighteen, young and dumb..."

"And full of..."

"Do not even finish that sentence, you're ruining the moment." He laughs at you but quickly gets back to being serious.

"You were eighteen and ridiculously mature for your age, I was twenty six and still acted like a teenager. I remember you walking in in that little denim skirt and tank top, smiling at me with that beautiful smile. The first thing I noticed was your eyes, the way they lit up when you smiled. You had me right at that moment, I was smitten. Then you introduced yourself as Liam's girlfriend and my heart sank."

"I can't believe you remembered what i was wearing, it was twelve years ago." You kiss his forehead, holding his face in your hands. So glad you had the opportunity to talk like this, knowing all this made you know you hadn't made a mistake. "I was so nervous walking up to you, I'd only ever seen you on photos and crushing on you when you were in home and away. Then you're there in front of me looking sexy as hell and I knew I had to make a good impression."

"Little did you know, five years later I'd be bending you over that table and giving you everything you'd been searching for?" He questioned, raising his eyebrow at you with a smirk.

"No, dick! Little did I know you'd sweep me off my feet and make me question everything I ever knew."

"I am a dick but that's why you love me isn't it?"

"Your ego definitely doesn't need stroking. I fell in love with Liam when I was still a girl and I fell in love with you when I was a woman. People change, needs change and..."

"And I give you everything you need." His hand travelled to your ass pulling you into him, pressing against his growing erection.

"You do, you need to work on your arrogance though." You laugh. "But seriously I'm done with all this now, we can't go on like this anymore. I want all of you, all of the time."

"So you've made your decision." His lips part, his head resting against your forehead.

"Was there ever any doubt?" You question, running your finger over his lip and grinding against him subtly making him groan.

"Fuck Y/N, I fucking love you so much it's crazy." He says through gritted teeth, holding the small of your back as you raise your hips, your face contorting with need. "What would you do if I asked you to marry me?" His hand travelled down the back of your shorts, cupping your ass in his hands.

"What do you think?" You tease, taking his bottom lip in your teeth and pulling gently.

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking." His face was set seriously, he wasn't joking, he wanted to marry you.

"Of course I'd say yes, once we'd dealt with everything." You smile watching his face light up.

"You're going to be Mrs Hemsworth and mine, not Liam's. I can't fucking wait." He picks you up, gripping your ass making you squeel before planting you back on the bed on your back.

Leaning over you, his palm caressing your stomach, kneeding your breasts with his long fingers. His erection poking into your clothed heat.

"You're so fucking perfect, are you ready to cause destruction?"

"Like now, in bed or?..."

"You know what I mean." He laughs, reaching down to attach his lips to your neck, sucking gently.

"If it means I get you then yeah, I'm ready."

"Right answer. You've made me the happiest fucking man in the world yanno?" His hand moves under your top, pushing it up to your chin as his lips finally meet yours. Kissing you deeply with everything he's got, your body rising from the bed to meet his.

"I think... I can... Make you even happier." You say between kisses, pushing down his boxers, your nails scratching his skin gently as you do.

He rests on one elbow watching you free his cock from its barrier. You cup his balls in your hand, stroking along the length of his cock with the other. He groans, pushing himself into your hands.

"I'll be happier once I'm buried inside this perfect pussy." He kneels between your legs, pulling your panties off before hovering back over you.

"Go slow baby, I want to feel everything." You whisper.

"Fuck, I can't guarantee how long I'll last." He moans, lining himself up and slipping in making you both moan as his cock stretches your walls perfectly.

He rests on his elbows, holding your face in his hands as he gently thrusts into you, wrapping your legs around him and pushing him in further, deeper. Hitting your spot with the curl of his hips, agonisingly slowly. You look into each others eyes, his forehead resting against yours. Tears in your eyes from the intense intamacy.

"I love you Y/N." He declares gruffly, his voice deep with lust.

"I love you too." You whimper.

Moaning everytime his thighs connected with yours, flesh slapping together, bringing your hips up to meet him. Him grunting with every thrust, your sex noises filling the otherwise silent room. The sound like a symphony to your ears, turning you on even more to hear his exclamations of ecstacy.

"It's always been you Chris." You whisper, making his pace become sloppy, losing his composure and restraint at your words. You can see it on his face as it twists, his cock twitching inside of you.

"Come for me baby." He grits his teeth, the muscles in his jaw tightening as his body goes rigid.

"Ah fuck." He brings you over the edge with the last of his powerful thrusts, your legs shaking around him, the feeling of satisfaction melting through your body simultaneously. A proud look on his face as you both come together and he falls limply onto your sweat laced body.

You stay like that for a while, both enjoying the moment, his cock still twitching inside of you. The heaviness of his body burying you into the mattress but you don't complain.

You don't want him to move, you want to memorise the feel of his heaviness and how his cock feels inside of you. How his rough face feels against your smooth skin, his hair tickling under your chin. You trace the muscles on his back, the defined shoulders and lean waist. Your hands gripping his tight, round ass and you close your eyes, remembering every dip and ripple, dreading the thought of being without him in your arms for at least another couple of weeks.

"I don't know how I'm going to watch you walk away tomorrow." He rolls on to his side, pulling you into him. "I think that's the hardest thing to deal with out of everything."

"I was just thinking the same thing." You looked up at him through your eyelashes, your fingers brushing against his tight pecs. "You know we've been doing this for nearly 6 years now and I don't think I've ever felt as close to you as I do now. It's going to be even harder for me to leave this time."

"I don't even want to think about it but we only have hours left together, what's our plan?"

"You mean when and how do we tell Liam?" You ask sitting cross legged in the bed, reality kicking back in. You have to go home to Liam and leave Chris all over again, back to the lies and sneaking about.

"That and when am I going to be able to see you again? I don't want to wait as long as last time, you know how crazy i start getting when I don't see you."

"We've got your cousin's wedding next week. I'll see you there." You risk a glance at him, pain set on his face.

"You'll see me but you'll be arm in arm with Liam and I'll be alone again."

"How about once the weddings over and done with, we can tell Liam about us?" You watch his face change, like a little boy.

"A week? I can do that, I think. But I'm not going to the wedding alone."

"What do you mean? A date? With who?" Panic laced in your voice.

"I don't know but I'm sure I won't be short of options."

"Are you fucking with me? Liam thinks you're dating a married woman, where you going to find one of those?"

"I don't know but I'm not turning up to a family party on my own again, my aunties can be fucking brutal."

"Well don't expect to playing all happy families and me being all nice." You sulk.

"Are you jealous?"

"Yeah, duhh."

"Come here." He pulls you into arms wrapping his legs around yours. Comfortable silence drifting over you both as he strokes your hair and you fall asleep in his arms.

***********

You wake up in the morning smiling, then remembering what day it is and that you have to leave to go back to boring reality and your smile fades. Chris stirring beside you, his muscly arm resting over your stomach, locking you in place.

"Chris, wake up." You whisper in his ear, admiring his sleepy, perfect face. "It's 9.30 we've gotta check out at 10." He makes an unrecognisable sound of exasperation, his eyes opening, puffy with sleep or lack of in this case.

"Aww man, can't we just stay in bed a little longer, I don't wanna let you go."

"You need to go check out first so we don't leave the hotel at the same time."

"Fuck sake. Back to reality it is then." He says all hint of jokiness gone from his tone as he sits up and rubs his eyes.

"I'm afraid so, I need to go grab my things. Text me when you've left please."

"Wow! I feel used, do I not even get a kiss before you run out on me?"

"I was just dealing with the business before I dealt with the pleasure, like I'd just leave without giving you a kiss." You threw yourself on him, wrapping your legs around him as he leant against the headboard. Taking his lips in yours, open mouthed kisses that left you both breathless.

*****

You packed up the couple of things you'd actually taken out of your pull along suitcase, you'd spent most of the weekend naked or slobbing about in Chris' t-shirts so all your clothes were still folded and packed.

You were anxious about going home to Liam and having to pretend again, having to try and not slip up about where you'd actually been. You literally had to go through possible conversations in your mind, conjuring up imagined answers to Liam's possible questions so you didn't get caught out. It was hard work.

Then you got the text from Chris telling you he was out of the hotel and on the road back home, followed by how much of a good weekend he'd had and how much he loves you.

You couldn't help having a spring to your step as you walked through the lobby, a weekend full of love making and reminiscing would have that effect on anyone.

After you'd checked out, the anxiety set in, like stepping out of this hotel would be like stepping in to an alternate universe. A universe that wasn't simple and easy like it had been this weekend but stepping through those revolving doors would mean that will all end. This safe feeling of being alone, away from prying eyes would end as soon as you stepped foot outside and it did, a ominous feeling sweeping over you, goosebumps covering your flesh. Maybe you conjured up the feeling in your own mind, manifesting it into existence but you couldn't shake it.

A feeling of being watched, was it your imagination or not? You didn't know, all you knew was how much you wanted to get out of public and back home. As you stood in front of the hotel, picking up your suitcase to carry it down the stairs, something caught your eye. A flash. And then another flash coming from your peripheral.

#smut #chris hemsworth #chris hemsworth fanfic #chris hemsworth smut #chris hemsworth x reader #chris hemsworth x you #chris hemsworth thor #chris hems x oc #chris hems x you

42 notes · View notes

witchygalaxys · 5 years

Text

So I played Nightmare harem.....

I played Nightmare Harem (now I'm broke in more ways than one)

Nightmare harem is an otome game. I have been playing so many different ones but I hadn't found one I loved nearly as much as the arcana but nightmare harem..... really stuck with me. Not in the best way. So let me tell you about the guy I chose.... AND HOW HE UTTERLY DESTROYED ME!!!!! MEET THIS FUCKER RICARDO!!!

First off dont get attached to this face.... the game and story are eh. If you want a lot of romance then this is it. But when I said I'm broke in more ways than one.... I meant one of them being I spent all my money on it.... and it has this weird system where you pay for 15 parts per chapter. But it would probably take a long time to finish the story. Like..... a long time. I think I ended up paying (not proud of this.....) 170.... So I kinda recomend against it.... but it does make you feel and get you attached to the characters. You get to know them pretty well which I feel like a lot of the other otome games dont do. It's one of the reasons I love the arcana because you get to really know the characters and who they are. You get attached and the Nightmare Harem did that pretty well. But here is the thing..... it went into really dark places.

By the end of it I was crying and shaking like a leaf. It actually scared me. I actually felt sick afterwards. I dont know how or why but it showed me all 3 endings. But it showed me the bad ending first and MAN! I COULD GIVE A CRAP ABOUT THE GOOD ENDING AND THE SECRET ENDING! CUZ HOLY FUCK! THAT BAD ENDING HAD ME FREAKED OUT! You may not get this but.... I'd rather he had killed me instead of what happened in the bad ending....

It started off like any normal story. You some how end up in another world. You are found on the demon side of the world. The demons are actually very nice. They treat you well and you like them. But you still want to go home and you are told there is a way to go home but it will only open 3 months from now. So you have to wait. In the mean time the angel side have found out about your existance because humans are rare. (Apparently) so the general of the Angel's meet with the demon prince at his estate (where you are staying) this demon general is none other than RICARDO!

This is where it gets spoilers so stop reading if you plan on playing yourself. SO!

SPOILER WARNING

Well Ricardo takes an interest in you and tells you there is a way to get you home sooner. But it can only be done in the angel side. So he tells you to lie to the demons and leave with him to the angel side. So you do but.....

Very quickly you find out he lied. He just wanted you to entertain him.

Later on you and him become closer. You learned he originally wanted you because you kind of reminded him of his sister who was killed. Later on he confesses his feelings to you by having sex with you. And all that stuff. You guys become very close...... but this is where it takes a dark turn......

Let me break Ricardo down for you. He is a killer. He is known every where for being a heartless killer. But he loves to tease you. He actually made me mad. I actually got pissed. So! When he tries to make you mad and you get a choice to react or not. Dont react. It actually kinda upsets him and it makes it kinda fun.

Hes confident and smart. He loves to tease you but you can also tell he cares (obviously) the more you get to know him the more you see he isnt that much of an awful guy as you thought. He wants to protect you so much. But..... he.... in his want to protect you and be with you.... he goes really dark. It starts out subtle.

He goes to work one day and asks you not to cheat on him or talk to strange men. I automadicly thought he was teasing. After he left the, demons came to the angel side to take you back. They found out you were tricked into coming to the angel side so they came to bring you home. As happy as you were, you told them you would be staying with the Angel's because of Ricardo. Ricardo came in and just started shooting them with no provocation. He said "they came to take you away. So they must die." That's the first time you realize something is off. You eventually calm him down and he stops attacking. And you tell the demons its okay and they leave. After this he gets very attached to you. He doesnt want you to talk with other men.

He begins to skip work to be with you. You know it isnt good so you keep trying to convince him to go so, he wont get in trouble. He spends 2 days with you but if I remember right on the 2nd day you go to help collect some herbs. He tries to stop you but you shake it off and go help. You kind of notice him in the window watching you. It seems like he spent the entire time watching you very carefully. When you go to your own room he is there waiting for you and starts questioning what you were talking about with the guy you were helping. At the end he tells you he must stay by your side.

The next day he decides to take you with him while he does some work because he was ordered to go back to work. He tells you it's fine but you keep questioning it. He says you need to stay by his side. Saying what if something happened to you at the estate while he is away. He said he is worried about the demons coming back to take you away so he wants you with him. He even threatens to take you with him tied up. Sounds like a joke but I dont think he was joking so you go with him willingly.

You end up waiting outside some place for him after he told you to stay and not talk to any one. A man approaches you because he saw you with Ricardo. You both talk about how amazing Ricardo is. The man is part of the army the works under Ricardo.

Ricardo comes out very angry and shouting. You get to choose what to say and after you say it he goes to hit the man. You stop him. Then he kisses you very deeply to show that you belong to him and he teases the man.

He brings you back home and tells you he cant leave you alone because other men will look at you. And if you stay at the estate you will get closer to the other people who live there.

Now pay in mind you arnt just doing nothing. You try to talk to him about it but he keeps stopping you or ignoring you. You notice what is happening and something is wrong. The worry grows more and more with each incident.

The next day Ricardo gets up for work and tells you to rest because.... he exhausted you yesterday. You tell him you cant do that and you have to help a boy named noel with the garden. He tells you to stay in his room for the day. He says he has to do something and he cant take you with him so that you need to stay in his room. He says he will be back as soon as he can and tells you not to leave the room. If you do he will punish you. I was actually terrified when he said that because he hasn't joked about anything seance you two have been together. You know its wrong and you try to run after him. But he closes the door and locks you in there. You pound on the door crying out for him to let you out. You can feel Ricardos need to control you. His confidence with out you is gone. Eventually Noel the boy you help in the garden let's you out. Noel brings you to Mikel. The leader of the Angel's to tell him what happened. Mikel asked if you had given consent to letting Ricardo do that. You tell him no. And Mikel explains how unhealthy yours and Ricardos relationship is getting. You know it is true.

Ricardo enters and calmly but very angrily asks why you left his room. He asks noel if it was him. Noel says yes. And then Ricardo tries to shoot Noel. Mikel is able to stop him before he can hurt Noel. You end up running away not wanting to see Ricardo fall apart anymore. That's when you make the choice that when the 3 months are over.... you will go back home to earth. Not just for you but for Ricardo as well. In the mean time you still spend time with Ricardo not telling him you are leaving.

You spend your last week with him and on the night you are leaving Ricardo learns about what you are doing and goes after you.

He asks you if you are leaving. You tell him yes. He pulls out his gun and says if you leave he will kill you. He asks you if you really loved him and you tell him you do but you cant be with him. And then the dark end showed up... and it made me wish he would have just shot me instead. Although most of that story seemed like a pretty dark ending.

DARK ENDING!

He says he will kill you and that way you will never leave him. But he cant stop shaking. So you walk up to him and hold his gun for him and tell him to shoot so you wont leave. That you wouldn't mind being killed by him. You close your eyes preparing to feel the bullet. He ends up dropping the gun and embraces you. You hold him and tell him you arnt going any where that you wont die and then fades to a few days later.

You look towards the window guessing what time it is because you cant see. You even question how long you have been waiting. Eventually you hear foot steps and Ricardo says he is home. He ends up locking the door and pulls the blind fold off your eyes. Asking you if you missed him. You look at him with so much love and say yes. He undoes your leg shackles but leaving your arms bounded and takes you to the bath. You bathe together and he comments how you have lost weight. You say "really?" And tells you that you can not eat while he is away. It is an order. He asks if you are hungry and you say no. "Seance I dont move much I dont need to eat much." He says he is glad. You think back to when you decided to to stay and how you want to do what ever Ricardo wants. So you let him leave you tied up blind folded in his room while he leaves. You dont think or feel anything other than Ricardo. Thinking you dont mind if you both crumble together.

He holds you telling you not to look at any one else and dont go near any one else. Telling you to only think about him and no one else all the time. Saying he wants you to be unable to live with out him. He asks you if you love him. You reply like a robot saying yes. And he wants you to smile. You try to smile but you cant do it properly because your face is very stiff. A single tear rolls down your face. He asks you why you are crying and all you can say is you are sorry. And then it ends......

SO AFTER ALL THAT IT NOW DECIDES! "Oh hey look at the happy ending!" NO! YOU CANT JUST SHOW ME THAT AND EXPECT ME TO BE LIKE "OH IM ALL BETTER NOW!!!!!!!" NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! WTF!? NO! LIKE OH MY GOD!

THIS IS STOCKHOLM SYNDROME!!!!! LIKE MY GOD! You want a Yandere he is your guy!!!!!!!! And I am ashamed to say! I still really like him!

It reminded me greatly of this comic about a guy who gets kidnapped by his crush and gets very abused by him. If you know what I'm talking about.....I'm sorry....

I WAS SHAKING AFTER THAT! I CRIED! I WAS LEGITIMATELY SCARED! FROM AN OTOME GAME! A DATING SIM! HOLY FUCK! I KNOW IM INTO THE ENTIRE BAD BOY TEASING THING BUT MY GOD! THIS SCARES ME! I know things like that have happened to some people. I think that's one of things that's freaks me out so much to it. Plus dating sims are very personal. You get pretty into them yourselves. The games are meant to make it feel like you are the one being loved.

So that's my thoughts and story. If you want to check it out go do so! I wouldn't recomend against it. Like I said it makes you feel. But I was not ready for that whirlwind. It has good character interactions. I'm kind of..... neutral about it. I found it fun! But all the money it forces you to pay to play is kinda ridiculous. Especially its charm system thing. I find that just kinda lame. But it was fun.

#nightmare harem #ricardo #otome game #dating sim #my thoughts #review #now i have no money #help me #im dead inside #i am ashamed of myself

147 notes · View notes

stuffedmetalbutterfly · 4 years

Text

Living with PCOS.

Warning: long post a head.

I was diagnosed with pcos last year 2nd of July. I couldn't forget that day because finally there was an explanation, a reason why I'm feeling things, why I feel different. You'll find out why.

Growing up i was the only girl in our house. Being a kid was easy, i don't really have an older sister compare what was the norms when it comes to my developing body. I thought wearing baby bra at second grade was normal until i found out all my friends just wears sando.

Then comes my third grade, another development came to my body. My first period.

At first it was just a blood spot on my undies. I grew up having UTI so i thought maybe it's from my UTI. So i decided to ignore it and went on my usual routine. Go to school and then go home. The following day was interesting though, upon coming home from school. I started feeling something different, my undies feel wet but not from pee. Immediately went to my room and when i lifted up my skirt i saw blood on my shorts. I was shocked and i told my nana what was happening. She told me that i already got my period. Of course everyone in the family was shocked. They believe i got my period too soon. I was just roughly 8-9 years old at that time.

But i always remember dealing with heavy period flow that will last for like 4-5 days. It was frustrating. I was always scared when I'm at school because I don't want to get blood stains on my uniform.

I also remember having intense breakouts on my face. Like having multiple big acnes all over my face. I tried different soaps and creams to relieve the pimples but things just got from worse to worst. Soon my whole cheeks and forehead are red from the pimples. It was disgusting. And it took toll on my 12 year old self. I began losing self confidence because of how i look. I also noticed that i have this ugly hairs on my forearms and my legs.

During my first year in highschool, i notice my period has these weird pattern. Like i would have my period for over 2 months and then the following 2 months i would have no period. And then i would have my period again but i would have these intense pain on my lower abdomen. Little did i was having dysmenorrhea at that time. I was still in highschool so ask my health teacher if what's happening to me was normal. She told me that my menstrual cycle was called as irregular cycle because normally menstruation would come after 28 days. Mine was a little bit off schedule. She told me that i should go see a doctor to correct my menstrual cycle. She also told me not to worry that much because I was still yound and probably my body was just getting used to having menstruation. And maybe overtime my menstrual cycle would become regular.

And with that in mind. I decided not to ask my mom to go to a doctor and wait till my body adjust to the regular menstrual phase. And for a while it did. Like i was regular for like few months but my acne was still there, i also have these acne on my back. My body hairs becoming even more noticeable especially on my legs. Needless to say i had endure my highschool life despite of those things.

Then come my college life. I took interest in a health care program. It was pretty busy. I had to keep up with the schedules at school that it was easy to forget my period. Sometimes i don't know i had my period for a month, I'm confused on whether my period hasn't come or if it had. Eventually when people will ask me about my period i will always say that I'm irregular and when i do, i frequently experience it with dysmenorrhea.

I knew i had to do something. But i keep putting it off because of my busy schedule at the university. (I was in five year program mind you.) I even find it very convenient when my period wouldn't come because i didn't have to worry about bringing extra set of uniform in case i had blood stains. During the first 4 years of my college life my menstrual cycle was like an irregular regular, wherein i would have my period for 5 days (heavy flow) for the consecutive 2 months. And then i would have no menstruation for the next 2 months after that. I had also gain weight during those 4 years.

I developed these bad habit of stress eating. Whenever i feel stress over school work, i would eat like a lot of food. I also stress eat whenever i hadn't got a chance to sleep due to school work. Yes it was that busy. I had to be up all night doing academic work, and then get ready for school the following day. To keep up with that lifestyle i usually eat A LOT. But it was all worth it because i usually finish being one of the top students of courses of my program, the only down side of it the irregular menstrual cycle with the much more intense dysmenorrhea and the gaining weight.

Fast forward to my 5th year, the 5th year of the program at university was a 10 month period of internship to different clinics and hospitals. If the first 4 years of my college life was toxic. The transition of that and to first few months of the internship was even more toxic. There's this medical examination, the compre exams, my research papers. Again it was easy to lose track of my period.

I was on my 4th month of internship (July 2019), when i noticed that i haven't got my period. When i check the calendar i realized i haven't got my period for the past 7 months. That was even before my pre internship period. Luckily i had a day off that month because the clinic had to close.

I immediately took the chance and went to the hospital to have and OB gyn check up. I remember getting there alone because my mom was at work that time. I also remember waiting in line and being interviewed 2 times; one when i was booking for a gynecologist, and the second one was when i was interviewed by my own gynecologist. On those both times i remember having ask the same question. "Am i sure that i was not pregnant." Of course i knew it will eventually be ask because I didn't got my period for 7 months. I answered no, sure I'm not pregnant. After being interviewed by my gynecologist. I was advised to undergo ultrasound. When the results came back, my gynecologist informed me that i was positive for having PCOS or the polycystic ovarian syndrome. There was it. The answer why i was gaining weight fast, the irregular menstrual cycle, the excessive body hairs, the intense dysmenorrhea. My gynecologist explained what was happening to my body and why I wasn't having my period for the fast few months. My doctor also explained that i need to lose weight and that there is a possibility that i would have difficulty getting pregnant. I wasn't planning on getting pregnant that time but heck i got emotional. I cried. And even for the fact that i went there alone made me even more emotional. my doctor gave me this a set of medication and i was advised to come back on the first that i got my period. I did as i was told, I took the meds for 7 days. And i did my usual routine of going to my internship duty. When my first day of period came, i went back to my genecologist and then she prescribed pills after explaining to me the mechanism of how the pills work and it's potential side effects which is gaining more weight. How fun. But since it was supposed to regulate my menstrual cycle and improves my dysmenorrhea, i decided to take the pills.

My menstrual cycle came back and now i do have a regular cycle but that was except for the fact that i was getting really light flow of dark red blood that will last for only 3 days.

Also i decided to try several changes in my diet, the only diet that was effective for me was the ketogenic diet. It's a low card diet. I did that for a few months. But i had to eventually stop it because it took toll on my studies. I find it hard to absorb information and i wasn't as sharp as i used to be prior to my keto diet. A month after stopping this diet immediately gain weight as fast as i lose weight. I lost 6 kilos during keto for 4 months. Then when i stopped keto i immediately gain 2 kilos in just one month. How freaking sad.

Currently, 9 months after being diagnosed with pcos. I'm still taking my pills despite the advice of my doctor to take it only for 6 months, because i still haven't regulate my menstrual cycle. I'm still looking for other diet that wouldn't make it hard for me to study. I also notice that as i took the pills longer. My emotional state becomes harder to control. I'm still looking ways for improvement, hopefully soon I stumble upon effective ways for me with less the troubles. My advice for now to other women out there with the same condition as mine, it's not the end. And being diagnosed with pcos doesn't mean we won't have kids in the future. We will just find it a bit hard to conceived. Also it really helps when you talk about what your feeling. There's a lot of PCOS support groups out there that has the same condition as we are. And that's when you'll know that you are not alone in this journey. You are not alone in this battle. You are a warrior and you can win this.

#PCOS, #PCOSstory, #PCOSwarrior, #MyLifeWithPCOS, #PolicysticOvarianSyndrome

#online journal, #storytime

0 notes

unextordinary-blog · 7 years

Conversation

My year in one post: 2017

okay so its starting to get closer to the end of the year lets have a recap of 2017.

january: I don't have a job anymore, I am not going to school at the moment, I am moving for the hundredth time, and I have to give up my dog and cat, then someone loses my cat. ( so its safe to say january was definitely not my month) but bright side this is the month where i start to talk to my "future" husband. well sort of (this will be explained in a later month).

february: so it's a new month. I am jobless with no prospect of going back to school until the next semester. on top of that our landlords are total pieces of literal dog shit (like im not kidding they have about 5000 dogs in their house and it smells like dog shit) anyways life is starting to look up JUST THE TINIEST BIT because ya girl got a date. i am dating. newly dating. and on top of that i still don't know that my future husband is single yet. (he doesn't like the idea of me dating)

march: we have officially moved into my moms boyfriends house and i already hate it. Its awful i have no closet, no space, no job, no pets, and no will to live (except for my future husband). Its safe to say my life lowkey sucks because not only do i have a curfew now? I have to pretend to not hate my life and i actually have to get out of the bedroom im staying in (yea thats right im not allowed to call his guest bedroom "my room") my moms boyfriend is a total dickwad. he gets what he deserves in later months tho. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ( WAIT A MINUTE I just got some info that karma was doing her job all along and i completely forgot part of living with my momster and her dickwad was that I had to do all the chores around the house and dickwad left $200 in his pocket when i was doing laundry and i found it. in my defense i tried to tell them about the money but then they got on my ass for talking to them while they were talking or something so i shut up and spent some of the money on a tattoo. it was the best revenge ever. I had been planning on getting one for months and dickwad and momster HATE tattoos and he technically paid for mine and it was great)

April: HOMAGAWD my life is looking up. I got a job, my "future" husband is visiting and the guy I'm kinda sorta "dating" is a good kisser but i swear to y'all if i hadn't already been on like 4 dates with this guy i would have thought he was catfishing me (he ends up ghosting me anyways so whatevesss). My momster and her dickwad of a boyfriend don't like my new job because it doesn't pay a whole lot? ( oh i forgot to mention they want me to pay rent for the "bedrooom" I'm sleeping in; y'all this room is literally a bed, a dresser drawer, and MY TV) ALSO did i mention this guy is total pack rat (THE BEDROOM IM IN HAS ALLLL OF HIS JUNK IN IT) and there's no central heating and I'm sick. I have bronchitis and we barely found out. meanwhile my supposed "mother" thought I was just being annoying with my coughing and her stupid boyfriend literally had the AUDACITY to tell me if I don't get rid of my cough by the end of the week then he was going to "do something about it". (LIKE IM SORRY I HAVE BRONCHITIS IF I COULD WAVE MY MAGIC WAND THAT I JUST RANDOMLY PULLED OUT OF MY ARSE AND MAKE MYSELF BETTER I WOULD SORRY MY ILLNESS IS INCONVENIENCING YOU). this man is weird he has like every book written by trump and is a civil war reenactor and has can goods from before I was even born because he doesn't believe in expiration dates. so I didn't want to find out what he meant by that so I booked the quickest doctors appointment I could get. I had been sick for 3 months by this point. also I paid over half the rent at my old place but I was always making like $1000 a month sooooo I could afford it. anyways my "future" husband and I have an amazing 3 days when he visits it was like no time had passed and it wasn't until he was gone that I realized that I couldn't live without him anymore.

May: ITS OFFICIAL BITCHES my "future" husband is now my boyfriend, it literally took him an hour for me to say he was my boyfriend. twas a struggle. but pretty much since the day he left we hadn't gone a single day without talking via text or calling each other. we thought about waiting until he came back to texas to date, but that would be two years and we weren't having that because we would have ended up waiting for each other instead of dating long distance which is kinda a waste of time. anyways I am no longer sick. at least I don't think and karma is just DOING ITS WORK on my mom and her dickwad boyfriend. My mom was being treated like she deserved by her new job and dickwad had lost his chief position because hes an alcoholic asshole with little man syndrome now he is paying over $10,000 for a DWI lawyer. meanwhile i was thriving I was getting more work I was looking into ways to pay off my school my life still sucked and the only reason im alive is because of my "future" husband.

June: did i ever mention that june is my favorite month of this year. love is in the air bitches. june is the month for marriages and engagements. SPEAKING OF ENGAGEMENTS yea that's right he proposed AND ON TOP OF THAT he surprised me with a visit and i nearly had a heart attack and it was a great few days. then my momster ruined it by being her and by hating me as per usual we weren't asking for permission at this point to get married we were just going to get married whether she agreed or not. and i was moving out and my "future" husband and i had a 101 plans (also i dont like the word fiance its dirty and gross) our 101 plans obviously fell through you can plan all day long and life is just like "LOL gurl you thought" but it all turned out fine in and in our favor in the end. we are very thankful for the people who stuck by our side when things were getting tough and sooo grateful for all their help we wouldn't have been able to do it without them.

JULY: ITS OUR WEDDDDINNNGGG MONNNTTTTHHHHHHH!!!!!! I had never thought "hey you're going to be my husband one day" when I saw my husband for the first time in the 2nd grade. he apparently did, he thought i was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and was happy i had moved to his town. that innocent love obviously turned into something more as we got older and he always knew that something special would happen with us there had to be a reason God had kept us close all those years. we were married july 10th in a court house with our high school friends my momster and her dickwad boyfriend and my new family that consisted of my husbands parents and siblings while my maid of honor watch via facetime (she had work and the ceremony lasted like 20 mins) leading up to our wedding he "proposed" properly on the couch while we were watching a movie and his best friend was so upset that he was not included in the proposal. we promised to include him on our 5 year anniversary at our vow renewal. we were married on the 10th we had our honeymoon that night in galveston. on the 11th we went to our best mans house, watched hoarders all morning, played ping pong, went to go see a movie with our old clique from high school, slept on a too small air mattress with a too small blanket in freezing cold room and woke up early. he dropped me off at my momsters and we said our teary eyed goodbyes and said we'd see each other again in december and I watched him drive away to the air port. I turned 20 the next week and I had 1 good day then on the 18th my mom decided to yell at me and fight me about money (remember how i said i was trying to pay off my college stuff well my mom knew that. it was no secret. well i found a way and i had gotten the money the week i got married and i paid it off and put the rest in savings and refused to touch it) well my mom yelled at me until she was blue in the face because since dickwad fucked up his finances with his DWI they were now strapped for cash and wanted me to pay for everything and I refused. just because we said I'd move in december doesn't mean plans are set in stone and if I would have paid them in advance I would have never seen that money again. the risks were to high for me to pay that much in one sitting. so we argued on the 18th she didn't talk to me for two days then on the 21st she gave me an ultimatum and told me to pay or get out. meanwhile my husband and I were thinking ahead and I was already packing and by the 22nd all i had in the bedroom i slept in was a duffel bag of clothes and hamper full of my bedding I told her i was moving out on the 23rd on a sunday and by the time they got home from church me and everything i had would be gone from that house. remember my husbands best man and best friend and the small air mattress and cold bedroom?

August: they both had a house together and that was the house i stayed in until the second week or two of august i spent almost a week with my dad and his family so i could say my goodbyes. i came back to the guys house for 2 days finished packing said my goodbyes to all my friends and then my dad was there with a jeep for all my stuff and we would start our long trip to VA. the first day we drove from TX to atlanta then the next day atlanta to VA.

I was finally home. there he was my knight in blue digital camo. we'd only been married a month and already our plans were askew. my dad stayed for 2 extra days and helped us get settled into our new apartment then left.

september: we are 2 months into our marriage and our first month living together. these next two months will be the hardest months in our marriage. we're getting used to each other getting to know our homelife quirks it is a difficult transition for both of us I am used to an abusive passive aggressive household where i lock myself in my room and he is used to empty barracks and going out everyday just so he doesn't have to be in the barracks all day. it was hard but we wouldn't want to bicker over mundane things with anyone else.

October: its spoopy time and my husbands birthday is this month we have a tv and new bed for our master bedroom we have a cat but Im pretty sure we got him in september. we're not really fighting as much at least not about stupid things we know what pushes our buttons and we're communicating better. I have to turn down my first job because its too far of a drive. ( we immediately regret it) the hubs 21st birthday rolls around we have the worst mexican food ever and he has the strongest margarita in the world it was really a great night. Halloween we sit on the couch watching movies and just stay in all day.

November: my husbands family have informed us that his little brother will be graduating from boot camp this month and will be going to school on a base in VA and that they were coming for thanksgiving. so we get the house in order for our new guests. we buy everything from a thanksgiving ham to new towels when they arrive his parents are sick with the flu and my husband still has work the next day on thanksgiving. his mom and i spend the entire next day cooking and getting everything ready. when my husband gets home we have dinner and watch a movie or two. the next day is my husbands day off and we all had planned on eating out so we had lunch then went to the beach for his mom and then my husbands base to give a tour for his mom (insert eyeroll here the woman takes pictures of quite literally everything its almost annoying)and then finally we go back home so we can get his little brothers stuff and we can drop him off at his new base. (which is a whole lot more difficult then it should have been.) they end up giving him a weekend pass but by then we're all dead tired and want to go home but no, we go bowling on base until its time to take his little brother back to the barracks. then the next day is even more annoying my husband picks up his little brother and some breakfast and we trudge to a museum of an old ship for about 2 or 3 hours. keep in mind my husbands parents are still sick with the flu and everyone is tired except his little brother and my husband has work at 3am the next day. on top of that his parents need to get on a plane this same day and my husband and i need to drop off his little brother back on base. needless to say it was another long day and we finally had our house back my poor husband had work at 3am and around 9am i hear him come home apparently since he didn't leave early on thanksgiving he got to leave work early that day which meant we got the entire sunday to ourselves. it was a long weekend.

December: its only the 13th and we have been married for 5 months now and it will almost be a year since we started dating. (how time flies) his best man is supposed to visit in january and we are both so excited.

so much little stuff has happened this year that would make this post even longer. we got a motorcycle, my husband is trying to pick out a car for me i thought about doing online college, we both haven't really thought about what we want for christmas and our cat has fleas so its been a very eventful year.

#2017 #my year #ask me anything #janurary #february #march #april #may #june #july #august #september #october #november #december #newlyweds #first year #newly married couple

0 notes