#angelshadowsinger
Text
Assistance
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Azriel x f!reader
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 8.8k
𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐲: smut, & a lil dosage of fluff at the end
𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬:
dirty talk, heavyyy praise kink, oral(f receiving), implied size kink, light breeding kink, creampie, cum play, a little overstim, Az is a fuckin freak, sweeeeet aftercare 💗
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲:
Azriel hears that no one has ever made you orgasm before, and makes it his mission to show you what you've been missing... again and again.
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞:
y'all this is narstyyyyy nasty... as in, absolute filth. literal prawn. the most detailed smut i have ever written... probably too much detail. be warned.
･ ゜゜・．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･
ɴᴏᴛɪᴄᴇ: ʙʏ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴘᴀꜱᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇʟᴏᴡ ꜱɪᴘʜᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴇʀᴛɪꜰʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏᴠᴇʀ 18 ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴍɪɴᴏʀ. ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ʙᴇʏᴏɴᴅ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ ᴍᴀʏ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴ ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴛʜᴇᴍᴇꜱ. ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴅɪꜱᴄʀᴇᴛɪᴏɴ.
･ ゜゜・．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･
“I dunno, I’ve just… never been able to finish when I’m with a guy,” you shrugged, nonchalant.
Mor’s jaw was on the floor, her big brown eyes filled with horror. She gasped, “A man has never made you cum?”
You reached across the wide oak table and slapped her arm roughly. “Would you shut up before every citizen of Velaris hears you??”
It had been quite a while since you’d lost your virginity, and after you’d run through a couple partners, you’d come to accept the fact that a man would never deliver that finishing, white hot ecstasy to you. But the way your friend had said it like such sacrilege made you embarrassed, a flush creeping up your ears.
“It’s fine, it’s not like I’ve never come in general,” you went on a bit too quickly, like you had to explain yourself. “It’s just that if I’m with somebody, and I wanna finish, then I have to… do it myself.”
“Gods,” Mor sat back, finishing the final sip of her— how many was that again?— umpteenth glass of wine. “This is why I prefer women.”
You stifled the laugh that nearly escaped. “I wish I could share that sentiment. Sadly…,” you sighed, “Penis is what does it for me.”
“Apparently not,” Mor whispered under her breath, going to sip more from her cup, but it was already empty.
Rolling your eyes, you grabbed the open bottle, ready to pour her another— but nothing came out. The two of you blinked at the empty glass, slow to register what that meant exactly.
“Welp. Should we start taking shots, then?” She asked with concerning sincerity.
You were quick to shoot her down. “Um, no thanks. I'd rather not feel like complete death at training in—” you glanced at the clock above the hearth, “six hours.”
Mor’s expression turned sour, as did yours. Six hours was certainly not enough time for your tipsiness to wear off completely, especially since wine had been your choice of poison for the night. “Fucking cauldron. Guess we should call it a night,” she groaned, dragging her pretty hands across her face.
The House cleaned away your glasses and the numerous empty wine bottles and corks that littered the surrounding area. You thanked it, stroking the table briefly as Mor trudged off, wanting to take a minute to yourself and maybe have some tea to relax before bed. You were completely unaware of the shadowy figure that was frozen around the kitchen corner, having heard every word of your secret confession.
Azriel stood in silent contemplation behind the doorway. He did not believe in fate, or destiny, or whatever crock of nonsense others would claim ruled their lives, but… was it not a sign that he had been walking into the kitchen for a late night sweet, only to stumble upon you spilling drunken secrets? It was rare to find anyone else up as late as him, and it would be a lie if he claimed he wandered out of his chambers tonight solely in search of a snack.
The two of you were quite close friends, but there was something more there that neither of you were brave enough to acknowledge. Lingering glances, teasing flirtation that always went a bit too far, the easy back and forth you volleyed with your sarcastic, dry comments. Yes, somehow the shadowsinger had found himself wrapped around your little finger, yet again enamored with a beautiful lady friend who did not return his interest.
Except you did.
Azriel was too blind to know it; too doubtful, too hard on himself to believe you would really want him. But that did not stop him from thinking about you every time he fisted his cock in the long, solitary hours of the night.
Everyone else in the circle could see it plain as day— in fact, Mor was perhaps the most eager proponent of them all. And perhaps she was a bad friend for allowing you to spill that sultry, enticing secret when she was aware that the shadowsinger who loved you now idled within earshot. Perhaps she was even worse for leaving in a hurry, a smirk on her lips and her fingers crossed as she skipped off to her room.
You remained at the large wooden table, unaware that the man who ruled your fantasies was just around the corner. He was silent and still as possible, battling himself with whether he should sneak off and never breathe a word of this, or if he should join you and take the risk. His shadows reported to him from the other corner of the room, informing that you were now sipping tea and looking gorgeous as ever, clad in a tight, sparkly evening dress that you had worn to the club that Mor had taken you to earlier that night.
Azriel stepped out from his hiding place.
You jumped— even with your fae hearing and so many hours spent with your friend, you never adjusted to how sneaky the spymaster could be. He emerged from the darkness of the kitchen, donned in gray sweats that hung low on his hips, exposing a glorious stripe of tanned, hard muscle that you stared at shamelessly. The white t-shirt that stretched across his broad chest was criminal, and you had to actively avert your eyes from burning into his visage, finally forcing yourself to meet his gaze.
But Azriel was looking at you, too, taking in how your dress flawlessly hugged your every curve, the expanse of your arms and décolletage that laid bare in the sleeveless, sweetheart ensemble. He noted the matching heels that were kicked haphazardly underneath your seat, the hair now falling from the clip you’d pinned at the beginning of the night, your slightly glazed expression. A small smirk graced his lips.
“Az!” You sighed, a hand on your chest, “How many times do I have to tell you not to sneak up on me like that?”
The Illyrian only shrugged, approaching slowly. “How many times do I have to tell you to work on your awareness? Always take note of your surroundings?” He quipped back easily, coming to stand beside you. He was so tall that you had to crane your neck to look up at him, and you motioned for him to take the seat that Mor had vacated only minutes earlier.
You play-scowled as he obliged, only replying once he was sat, his large wings tucking in behind broad shoulders. “And why would I do that, when one of your shadows is always watching for me?”
Azriel’s hazel eyes widened, a faint blush tinging his cheeks. You wished you could commission Feyre to paint that expression— you loved how boyish it made him look, how cute. But he quickly recovered, that measured mask of cool returning to his handsome face. “You should be flattered. They seem to take interest in you.”
“Hmm,” you feigned thought, rolling your eyes to then land on him and bat your lashes, “Just them that are interested?”
The shadowsinger couldn’t contain his grin. Flirting with you was just too easy, and he loved when you looked at him like this, gave him all your attention. It never led anywhere, anyway— so really, it was harmless… right? He chose not to respond, shrugging and taking a sip of the teacup that the House had conjured for him.
You huffed, displeased. Azriel was always the one to cut your flirting short, only entertaining you to the point where you weren’t sure if he was just playing with you or if there was actually some sincerity in his antics. It was fittingly mysterious of him, and undeniably irritating. You decided you weren’t going to have any of that tonight, the remnants of your liquid courage just enough to push you a step further than you would otherwise go.
“Az, tell me—,” you crossed your arms over the table and leaned toward the spymaster who took another sip of tea, nodding for you to go on. It took every ounce of the male’s willpower to not drop his gaze to your cleavage that was now pressed onto the tabletop, squished between your arms. “— Have you ever made a girl come?”
Azriel spit out the hot liquid, wings going rigid behind his back and his scarred fingers clutching the tiny cup in his palm. You examined the fresh line of tea that was sprayed onto the table, slightly amused as the House began to clean it away. But you continued on, determined to get an answer.
“I’ve heard you have a long list of lovers, surely you know how to do it?”
The Illyrian’s cheeks were now a bright red, the most obvious display of emotion you’d ever seen from him. “What—” he stuttered, still shocked that you had really just asked him that. “—Who told you that?”
You frowned, tilting your head in your hands, elbows sliding out further onto the table. “I asked first,” you pouted, taking a sip from your cup.
The male fumbled for words. True, he had heard your conversation with Mor and yes, he did make the choice to come in and sit down with you but never would he have expected you to ask him such a thing, so outright, so brazen.
“…I have,” he finally replied, slightly hiding behind his cup. You’d never seen the shadowsinger look so timid; it was endearing.
“But how do you know you really did?” You queried, looking at him curiously. “I mean— girls can fake it, so how do you really know?”
Azriel seemed offended at your insinuation. But he only pursed his lips and said, “My question…?”
You clicked your tongue and answered, “Cassian and his big mouth. And then Rhys with his… And maybe Mor at some point as well.”
His face contorted into a scowl, shadows coming to lick at his shoulders. But he decided to save his revenge for later, instead meeting your inquisitive gaze and deciding that your intention was not to slander him. “I am almost certain that my partners have never faked completion,” was all the explanation he gave.
“But how do you know—”
“Do you fake a lot of orgasms, Y/N?” Azriel shot back, his turn to pose the picture of nonchalance as he leaned on one elbow, hand on his cheek.
Your cheeks burst into flames. “W-What? No— I—”
The shadowsinger smirked at your flustered babbling. He was tempted to poke at you some more but took pity, instead savoring how cute you looked when you were embarrassed. But you couldn’t find the strength to answer, so he went on to fill the silence.
“If a man cannot make you finish, you should move on and find someone who can,” he said calmly, studying your bashful gaze that was now fixed on the table before you.
You sat up, removing your arms from the table so you could cross them over your chest, guarding yourself. It was your choice to enter this conversation but now it was getting a little too real, and your mortification was getting worse by the minute as Azriel’s steady hazel eyes were pinned to your every movement.
“Yeah…,” you agreed. In theory, his advice was all good and well, but there was no way that it would be that easy. “That’s hard to find, though.”
Azriel gauged your expression, wondering if he should admit he heard your earlier confession to Mor. But you seemed so embarrassed, he didn’t want to make you any more uncomfortable.
“Is there, like, a class you took or something? Maybe you can introduce me to one of your fellow classmates,” you attempted a joke, but the shadowsinger’s gaze only hardened, the corner of his lip twitching in distaste.
Jealousy and possessiveness swirled in his gut, not liking that you had just asked him to set you up— even if you had only meant it as a joke. You were not his, yet your faux request rubbed him the wrong way.
But the slightly hurt look you were giving him now was enough to wipe away any ill emotion that had briefly bloomed. “Just kidding…,” you murmured, fingering the handle of your now-empty tea cup.
Azriel fought to find the words that could navigate him through this strange situation. If only somehow he could reassure you, offer his services, but not ruin your friendship, nor come off creepy.
He took too long, because you rose, excusing yourself, “I think I better get to sleep.” Your cup disappeared and you quietly thanked the house, turning away from the male and heading toward the bedrooms.
The spymaster stood as well, following you down the hall. Both your rooms were at the very end of the walkway, meaning he at least had another minute of your time. His heart beat quickly in his chest, desperate to smooth things over with you, desperate for however much longer he could get with you. “I did not take a class,” he said, matching your pace.
You shot him an inquisitive look over your shoulder.
“One of the marks of a true man is to be able to fully pleasure a lady.”
You laughed, pausing so that you could walk by his side. “So you think of yourself as a true man? What is that supposed to mean?”
Azriel smirked, glad that your disposition seemed a little looser. “It means, I’ve had five hundred years to cultivate my skills.”
“Riiight, with your countless lovers,” you quipped, a little smirk growing on your lips.
A scarred hand pushed you gently, just hard enough to let you know he didn’t appreciate such accusations— even if they held some truth. Those gorgeous hazel eyes rolled as he clicked his tongue, about to shoot something back when you arrived at your door.
You didn’t reach for the handle though, instead turning to look up at him as your back brushed against the sturdy wood of your threshold. “Thanks for all your—,” you blushed, gaze fleeting, “insight.”
Dark brows furrowed at you. You had said it in such a meek little voice, your hands wringing with anxiety. It was easy for him to read your body language, but also, his earlier eavesdropping had cued him in more than you knew. Even though your conversation had made him seem like the one with all the expertise, his heart was slamming wildly against his ribs, tanned cheeks feeling hot. Somehow the spymaster managed to keep his composure and dared to take the leap.
“May I ask why you are so curious all of a sudden, little dove?” He said, a gleam in his gaze. “Would you like for me to prove myself to you?”
You chuckled, shocked, unbelieving. “That joke is deplorable— I think you’ve been spending too much time with Cassian lately. ”
Usually a jab at his brother would make the shadowsinger bark out a laugh, but he remained stoic, looking down at you with profound intensity. The two of you stared at each other, and you found yourself unable to look away. There was always something about Azriel that drew you to him, and in that moment, as he leaned a hand against the door behind you and filled your senses with the scent of cedar and crisp, chilled night…
His gaze flicked down to your lips.
You studied his, the full, soft pink calling to you.
Azriel could barely find the strength to resist kissing you, his face only inches from yours. The sweet, fresh smell of you was so devastatingly strong with such a short distance between you, and the way you were looking at him… he swore he could discern hunger in your beautiful, captivating gaze…
“Do you want that to be a joke, Y/N?” he murmured, warm breath washing over your cheek. The tip of his nose just barely scraped yours, another muscular arm coming to trap the other side of your body so he had you right up against the door with no escape. “I did not intend for it to be, but if that’s what pleases you…”
You looked at him with wide eyes, a shiver running through you. A new scent greeted your nose, and your lips parted as you took it in, your body shamelessly eating up the smell of his growing desire.
The shadowsinger licked his lips, gaze piercing yours as he detected the beginnings of a similar, honeyed scent emitting from you. There was no going back now, he decided. He was closer to you than ever, and he couldn’t pretend he could find satisfaction in you both returning alone to your rooms, not tonight. He dared to caress your jaw, the smooth skin a contrast to the rough texture of his scars.
“It’s your pleasure I seek, always…,” he said, and you held your breath, unblinking as you beheld his astounding beauty up close. “I only aim to please you… will you allow me to?”
Permission— he was asking permission. You could barely think; was he serious? Azriel was not the type to fool about things of such gravity… If this was some cruel joke…
Before you could give it much thought, your mouth was already moving. “Yes,” you breathed, answering him so quietly it was nearly inaudible, “Please, Azriel…”
The Illyrian’s brow twitched and he shuddered. He leaned down lower, lower— big, gentle hands coming to brace the small of your back and the nape of your neck, a thumb slipping along your jaw to point your face up to his… slowly, slow enough to give you the chance to change your mind… You leaned forward, eyelids fluttering shut. Another second went by and then, he kissed you.
Time stopped, and everything else faded away.
His lips pressed against yours and your arms wove around his neck, every place your skin touched exploding with sparks. The smell of him and his desire overwhelmed your senses, your knees weakening as he claimed your mouth with his, pressing you against him harder, hungrier.
You were snug between the door and his broad, powerful body. His hands squeezed at your hips, then slid down to your ass and lifted you effortlessly, your legs securing around his waist. The small friction of your core rubbing against his abs through your clothes was enough to make you gasp for breath.
Azriel seized the opportunity, his tongue coasting into your mouth without caution. The slick muscle wrestled with yours and you pulled at his hair, savoring the quiet moan that spilled onto your lips. You wanted more— to explore more of his skin, discover more of those sounds… Wordlessly the shadowsinger came to the same realization, fumbling with the door handle and tucking the two of you into the privacy of your room.
Your hair fanned out onto the pillows as the male deposited you on your bed, muscled thighs coming to part your legs and settle himself on his forearms above you, lips never leaving yours. It felt unreal to be consumed in the shadowsinger’s kiss, to have his hard body pressed up against yours and your hearts pounding together in harmony.
He felt the same, hardly believing you were really here beneath him, your small hands caressing his arms and his neck, fingernails digging into the meat of his shoulders and curling into his thick onyx locks. Finally he tore his mouth from yours, panting, studying your breathless form under him. “You are so gorgeous,” he praised, licking his kiss-bitten lips, hazel eyes ablaze as he examined the valley of your breasts. Before he leaned closer, he whispered, “Your safe word is moonlight, should you want to stop at any time.”
Though you didn’t plan on using it, you appreciated the consideration… and you wondered just what the male had in mind that might require such a precaution. But he captured your attention once more and you murmured his name as he moved to trail his tongue down your jaw and nibble at your throat, slowly making his way to plant open-mouthed kisses on your exposed cleavage. He pawed at the top of your dress, taking his time as he memorized the taste of your skin, tugging the material down. Your breasts spilled out for his eager mouth to immediately greet, soft lips capturing a nipple and his tongue rolling over it while his fingers found the other. Instinctively your hips bucked up against his, pleasure tickling you as he gave all his attention to your chest, grinding his aching cock into the mattress below.
Teeth grazed the sensitive nub and a moan escaped you at full volume, your cheeks burning when a ravenous glint met the shadowsinger’s eye. With just one swift look you knew he would do anything in his power to elicit more of those sounds from you, and your excitement only bloomed further as a hand slid up the slit in your dress, rough fingers raising goosebumps on your now-exposed thigh.
He kept busy as he explored your chest, sucking and kissing the swell of your breasts. The slow trail of his fingers up your thigh had you clenching in anticipation, whining when the digits brushed the lace edge of your dampening panties.
“Az, wait,” you huffed, causing the male to release your breasts, his warm gaze coming to inspect your face. Even though it was an embarrassing admission, for some reason you felt the need to inform him of your predicament. “I um— I’ve never… No one has ever been able to…”
Hazel pierced into you from his lower position on the bed, his broad shoulders steady and wings taut behind his back. He finished your sentence for you, ceasing your struggle, “…make you cum?”
Just hearing him say it made your soul want to leave your body, and you shut your eyes, nodding, wishing you could just skip this part. A gentle hand cupped the corner of your jaw, his thumb brushing your cheek with such tenderness that you dared to meet his gaze.
“I’m honored to be the first,” Azriel stated, unwavering as he looked deep into your eyes. His own were peering into you, the gold in his irises seeming to shine even in the dark of the room.
Your mouth opened to protest that he lower his expectations, but his thumb pressed into your parted lips and the words died in your throat. There was sheer determination in the look he was giving you— promise.
“Don’t think,” he whispered, his other hand coming to pull you down the sheets, back flat on the duvet and now squarely underneath his entirety. His toned body dwarfed yours and his ability to maneuver you with such ease made something distinctly female stir deep inside of you. “Just relax and focus on me. Focus on how my hands feel on you, my lips…”
A mewl escaped you as he leaned down to kiss the hollow of your neck, your head turning into the blanket while he left his mark on your throat. Your hips squirmed and his own pressed down in response, the hard length of him reaching for you through his sweats. The heat that resonated there made you dizzy, a fresh wave of desire pulsing through your pussy as he rutted against it.
The Illyrian’s groan rumbled across your skin, and he sank lower, again taking your breast into his mouth, an elbow digging into the mattress to hold himself up and curl a large hand around the back of your waist. The other wandered up your dress again, this time his fingers immediately cupping your core through your soaked underwear.
A string of quiet moans floated from your lips as his fingertips began to map your dripping cunt through the soiled material. The firm press of his digits against your entrance teased you until they wandered up to slowly rub your clit, his teeth grazing at your nipple. You whimpered, face twisting in ecstasy. Already the shadowsinger was making you feel better than anyone else had, and you weren’t even fully undressed.
At the realization, you fisted the cotton of his shirt. He complied instantly, ripping the article off of him with no issue, and you watched as the tattered cloth was swallowed by the shadows that danced at the foot of the bed. You then took in the sight before you, mouth watering at his utterly male form— the tan, lean muscle that tapered from his wide shoulders to his narrow waist, the contours and bulges that made his long hours of training evident, black ink melding perfectly with the straight planes and dipping down under the hem of his sweats.
Your fingers wandered on their own accord to splay across his broad chest, tracing the tattoos that laid there and thumbing over his nipples. That bit a low moan from the male, and he leaned down and captured your lips once more, tongue dominating yours. His hands disappeared behind your back and suddenly the zip down your back was undone, the material slipping down your sides. You helped him free you of the gown, now only clad in your soaked panties, hips squirming as you throbbed with need.
“Azriel,” you whimpered when his lips touched your sex through the cloth, the male taking a deep breath of your honeyed scent, and closing his eyes. His brow pinched as he experimentally licked at you, your thighs twitching as he released a moan of approval.
You gasped when he tore the drenched fabric off of you effortlessly, his teeth bared in a quiet snarl. Then he grabbed your hips and dragged your pussy onto his mouth, tongue spreading your folds and moaning as he savored the taste of you. He dove into you and you cried out in pleasure, his mouth sucking and nibbling on your sensitive core, tongue dragging up and down your seeping slit with fervor.
All of his attention focused on you was making you delirious, your eyes rolling back as you relished the sensations he was causing. His hands tucked under your ass and grappled onto your hips, not allowing you to squirm away from his generous attack. He alternated between gently sucking on your clit, your folds… then washing the sensitive bud with the flat of his tongue, laving over you wave after wave.
You were clenching, your hole leaking more and more as your body begged for some kind of relief. Utter want throbbed through you as scarred fingers slowly made their way toward your core. All remnants of thought left your skull at the press of rough digits at your entrance. There was nothing you could say or do as a finger slid inside of you, nothing but stretch around him and keen, gasp for breath. Before you could even moan, a second pushed in and disappeared knuckle-deep, right beside the first. The foreign stretch made your thighs tremble around his face, his nose nudging your clit as he continued his ministrations with his tongue.
His name became a prayer on your lips, a chant as those blessed digits curled and his knuckles scraped parts of you whose existence you had not known before. Slick was pouring down your thighs now, the steady, rough friction of his scars rubbing so deliciously along your gummy walls. You forgot any worries you had harbored, left them far behind as Azriel brought you closer and closer to the edge.
At some point you started begging, actually begging— you couldn’t help how good the shadowsinger was making you feel, couldn’t think to filter the words mixing with your ragged breaths.
Azriel only trekked on, mouth earnestly working in sync with his hand, examining the furrow of your brow, the part of your lips, the roll of your eyes back into your skull. Only then did he speak, mouth popping off of you just long enough to encourage you as you circled the drain.
“Good fucking girl,” he growled, the words vibrating through your cunt, tongue lashing against your folds between his praises. “I can feel your tight little pussy clamping down on me, I know you wanna cum…”
You could only whine and latch onto his shoulders as you hurtled toward that line no partner had ever been able to push you to, at full speed now that the shadowsinger was egging you on, pure filth falling from his lips.
“You can do it baby,” he purred, pressing another kiss to your clit, a brush of tongue following in its wake. “You’re gonna make me so proud, I swear my little dove, you’re right there… Come on pretty girl, cum for me, cum on my tongue.”
The tension in your belly heightened and you gasped, your body tensing under his firm grip and your back arching, teetering on the edge. And then you were cumming, your core gripping onto his fingers and pulsing, your head thrown back onto the sheets as you let out a long, sultry moan.
Azriel’s cock throbbed at the sound, his curiosity peaking as he wondered how your pussy would feel milking his cock like that, so tight and wet for him.
Your body was humming with bliss, fingernails embedded in the sheets beside your hips, your breath ragged and sweat glistening at your forehead. You’d only cum that hard a handful of times before, and it had taken a hell of a lot longer for you to get yourself to that point.
The Illyrian’s pace slowed, his fingers and his tongue still moving just enough to let you ride out your orgasm without overwhelming you. He continued to kiss your clit softly— even as his patience was wearing thin, his length crying for you, trapped tightly, painfully, beneath his pants.
His fingers finally fell from your entrance and he inspected the glossy sheen on them before he stuck them in his mouth. You watched as his tongue ran over every inch, savoring the taste of your cum. He pressed one final kiss to your clit and sat up, the tent in his pants more prevalent than before.
“I’m so proud of you, angel,” Azriel praised, a hand skimming down your thigh. His gaze was warm as he made eye contact, but the movement of his hand landing on his cock pulled your eyes from his.
You watched, still breathless as he firmly gripped his length through his sweats, a low sigh falling from his lips. He looked absolutely criminal touching himself like that, the shine of your cum still on his lips and his muscled torso heaving as he caught his breath.
All thought left your brain as his thumbs hooked the hem of his pants, dipping lower until you could see the base of his dark… thick cock. He pushed his pants down fully and your cunt clenched as his fully erect member slapped hard against his navel. The tip was the most beautiful shade of pink you’d ever seen, and your mouth dried as you examined the trail of glistening pre that dripped down the side. He fisted the base of himself, the wide vein running along the underside flexing as he twitched for you, eying the apex between your legs and your shared desire.
“See how hard you make me?” he said, a sinister glint in his gaze pinning you to the mattress. Both of you were fully naked now, and the sight of him approaching you, those big, ominous wings billowing with shadows behind him… he looked like a god, one that was about to completely decimate you. “See how much I ache for you? You completely own me, fuck… now that I’ve had a taste of that pretty little cunt, I’m yours.”
Your heart skipped a beat. It was unclear whether this was just dirty talk, or if he really meant that, but in the heat of the moment, you allowed yourself to believe his words were sincere.
He crawled toward you, completely predator as he neared. Heat rolled off his bronze skin, his member reaching for you, wings shuddering in anticipation. “These lips are yours…” he murmured, mouth grazing over yours. You closed your eyes, your arm reaching around his head, fingers carding through his soft hair. “These hands are yours…” His scars skimmed down the curve of your side, tingles echoing in their wake. “This cock, it’s yours…” you gasped as his hot tip sliced through your folds, tracing down your slit with ease from the orgasm he had just gifted you.
You moaned, hips lifting and your sex sliding along the length of him, coating him in your essence. He groaned at the sight, his breath mingling with yours as he panted, watching your most intimate parts slide against each other, your love juices mixing.
“Please, Az,” you cried. You’d never been more turned on in your life, the very tip of him nudging against your hole, the promise of pleasure so close you could taste it.
The shadowsinger could barely hold himself back, but he needed to hear you say it. “Tell me what you want,” he commanded, grit in his harsh tone as he began to lose his manners.
“I want you to fuck me,” you replied instantly, inhibitions thrown to the wind. “Please, please— I need you to fuck me, make me cum with your cock, please Az—”
Whatever semblance of restraint the Illyrian had was lost then, his lips pulling back in a desperate snarl. The sound had your legs spreading, your body feeling fuzzy with the overwhelming urge to be filled by him, taken and claimed by him.
Your body sang as he speared the tip inside of you, your cunt stretching around the sizable girth of him. A whimper fell from the male as he lowered his hips, half his cock disappearing into your tight, wet heat. It felt like he was heaven incarnate inside of you, your eyes rolling back and your legs parting wider around his hips, welcoming him deeper inside of you.
Azriel obliged, his balls slapping the wet backside of your thighs as he surged forward. The moan that fell from both your lips was pure sin, your bodies exploding in pleasure as they connected in the deepest, most intimate way, him fully seated inside of you.
Slowly he started to thrust, hips almost shaking at the all-consuming pleasure that was washing over him. He was already fighting his orgasm as he began to find his pace, the moans he was summoning from you urging him to press deeper, harder.
Again and again his hips slapped into yours, burying that impressive length deep within you. The depths he reached made your eyes cross, your pussy squeezing down on him, and your mouth drying from the constant panting he had you victim to.
He was growling into your ear, sweat sticking his hot chest to yours as he exerted himself. The sounds that tumbled from him only made your slickness grow, a wet patch forming beneath your ass as he started slamming into you with reckless abandon.
“Fuck, you look so pretty with my cock inside of you,” Azriel crooned, his face falling so that the bridge of his strong nose skimmed your cheek. It made his breath fall on the crest of your ear, rendering you privy to all the low, delicious noises that slithered out of his mouth. “M’gonna take good care of you, promise…”
Suddenly he pulled out and you wailed at the loss, but he was already flipping you over before you could register what had happened. He yanked you onto your knees, landing a quick slap on your ass before he nudged your legs apart and pushed himself into the new space. His cock dipped into your folds from behind and he loosed a delectable moan as he slid all the way back inside.
From this angle, the tip of him prodded a sacred, uncharted spot that had you shaking, arching your ass onto him and your back bowing in submission. The place he was reaching at the end of your inner walls made you weak, the hard length of him too euphoric for you to handle. He gave a tentative thrust, a hand coming to fist the hair by your scalp, the other weaving around you to tweak a pebbled nipple between his fingers. You sobbed at the newfound intensity, your stomach knotting and your hips sliding back on their own accord, once again seating yourself at the base of his cock.
“You like having me all the way inside, hmm?” he gasped, thrusting deep and hard, the clench of your cunt almost tempting his load straight out of his aching balls.
You gasped an affirmative, each thrust making stars dance on the back of your eyelids. “Yes, ah— yes, deeper— Az!” It must have been your g-spot he was ramming into because you could barely sit upright now, your body nearly collapsing in pure pleasure. “There, oh please right there!”
Azriel’s hand at your chest dove down, a large palm landing right above your womb, right where his cock nestled inside your throbbing cunt. “Here, baby?” He gave a few more thrusts, the very tips of his fingers nudging your engorged clit. “Feel my cock right here, dove? I’m right here inside you, fuck—“
You cried as he continued, ruthlessly pounding into you, the hand in your hair pulling your head back so he could manipulate your body and bend you into the perfect angle to continue hitting that spot.
Again you were rushing toward completion, completely stupefied by the shadowsinger rearranging your guts from behind. The pleasure was too intense— with each thrust his huge, thick cock stretched you to the brim and dragged against that delicious spot deep inside. Sweat dripped down both your bodies, heat and the lewd slap of his wet front against your ass filling the room again and again. His name became the only word you knew, a raspy chant as he brought you closer, closer—
You came with a silent cry, pussy pulling tight and fluttering down onto his hard cock. This orgasm was even stronger than the last, your eyes rolling to the back of your skull as his thrusts slowed, the intensity of your throbbing too great for him to continue his quick pace. Rough fingertips continued to circle your clit, drawing out your euphoria as you slumped into his strong chest, trembling with pleasure.
The Illyrian was fighting every inch of himself not to cum right then, blood tanging on his tongue as he bit the inside of his cheek. He refused to violate your perfect womb with his seed, even if every fiber of his being was screaming with the need to claim you as his. But he would not relent to his desires, not without your permission. And he didn’t want to finish yet, not when this was the highest he had ever felt, sheathed inside your ethereal body. So he clutched onto you and channeled all of himself into supporting your weary frame, rubbing your clit as you floated back to earth.
Once you had ceased twitching, Azriel laid your back onto the sheets again, joining you on his side, adjacent to you. You were still panting as you came back to reality, examining his mussed hair and how it clung to his damp forehead, the flecks of pure gold in his hazel irises, his slick, still-hard cock— a ring of your cream adorning the base of him.
Wordlessly you wiggled closer and kissed him. He moaned in surprise, either at how soft and sweet your kiss was, or at the touch of your small hand wrapping around his aching length. You jerked him slowly, the sound of it absolutely obscene, your thumb grazing over the weeping head where precum had once again begun dripping out. Your back pressed up flush against his chest, guiding his cock to your center and slipping the head into your slit, hips pushing into his.
The shadowsinger’s vulgar moan rung out as your warmth surrounded him again, your nails scraping his scalp. An arm slipped beneath your waist, his grip securing on the opposite hip and fully penetrating you once more. This position had your pussy tighter than before, and his chest shook as he tried to breathe normally, trying to fend off his orgasm. His finger slipped to the back of your head again, this time much gentler than before, just to turn your face and peer into your soul.
Azriel couldn’t find it in himself to thrust, just savoring how your bodies were completely intertwined like this, feeling absolutely one with you and staring deep into your gaze. But you wanted him to cum— needed it, pressing your ass flush onto his hips and clenching tight. The male’s broken growl was his only reply, words failing him. It was he who had planned to drown you in pleasure; he had not been prepared for how incredible you would truly feel, how whole he felt when he was inside of you.
You reached down and cupped his balls, feeling how tight and heavy they were with his seed. Azriel’s teeth grazed your lip at the movement, his body starting to shake with the need to release everything he had deep within you.
“Y/N,” he choked out, hips starting to press tentatively to yours on their own volition.
You studied the desperation on his handsome face, the shake in his thighs at each slow thrust, the dull fingernails that dug into your skin as he clung to you. “Azriel,” you moaned, he was reaching that spot again and rutting into it so slow, hard and precise… you could hardly think as pleasure filled your brain with fog once again. “Please… Need you to cum inside of me.”
Azriel groaned, tongue wrestling with yours and conceding as he began to lose himself in you. His thrusts became slower, sloppier, so you hooked your leg around his and began to arch back into him. The Illyrian began panting, fingers grappling onto your hips.
“This cock is mine,” you purred, repeating his earlier words, your ass slapping back against him harder.
His fingertips were blanching, the sight of his wet length sliding in and out of you from behind as you fucked yourself onto him mesmerizing.
“This cum is mine, too,” you squeezed his balls again and he let out a loud whimper, his orgasm surging forth as he started to meet your thrusts. “Give it to me, fill me up with your cum— fuck Az, need it deep inside me, please.”
He snapped, suddenly hard and fast and deep, a few more snaps of his hips that had you crying for him until— The most pornographic moan sounded for him and he pushed every inch of himself inside of you. His wings fluttered, thighs shaking as he gripped onto you and smushed you into the mattress under his weight. Warmth filled your belly as hot waves of cum spurted deep into your womb, his cock throbbing as you pulsed around him, milking every drop you could get. Sharp teeth lodged into your neck as he emptied himself inside of you, his body trembling with the effort of holding himself up as to not crush you completely.
Sweat dripped from his breathless form onto your back, and you laid there blissfully as you caught your breath. The sheets beneath you were completely ruined, drenched in sweat and slick and cum, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to care; not when Azriel was naked on top of you, cock sheathed all the way in and his cum spilled deep in your womb.
After a minute, the shadowsinger’s dark chuckle sounded from above you, his fingers tracing down your spine. “Naughty little thing,” he murmured, lips brushing your ear before he laid a kiss there.
You smirked, squeezing onto his cock that was still inside of you, retorting “You like it. You like me~”
He growled lowly, nipping you with his teeth. But he nuzzled you then and your heart melted, his lips ghosting over your cheek as he said, “I do. Very much, in fact.”
You whined as he pulled out of you, the loss of him much too noticeable for comfort. But he was right there, turning you onto your back with care, pressing soft kisses into every inch of your sweat-slicked skin. You could feel his release seeping out, the sheer amount of it too great to stay tucked inside where you so desperately wanted it to be.
Azriel gently pulled your legs apart, inspecting the slow stream of creamy white that trickled out of your raw entrance. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to last long enough for you to cum again,” he said, a thumb running down your soaked folds, “I know you were getting there…” He licked his lips as you clenched under his heated gaze, embarrassed that he was outright admiring your most intimate part. Was he seriously apologizing for not giving you a third orgasm? “Allow me to make it up to you, angel.”
The male leaned down and pressed a kiss to each thigh, sliding back onto the foot of the bed and pulling you with him. You shot him an incredulous look as he settled between your legs, lips just inches from your soiled cunt. There was no way he was really about to do this— the mix of your cum with his was spread wide, coating your inner thighs, your pussy, your ass.
His tongue was like lava as he licked at you experimentally, eyes taking note of the shock apparent in your expression. Hazel glinted at you as he began to make out with your ruined center, his seed dripping from you as he made you clench. But he didn’t seem to mind the taste of himself, for he closed his eyes and traced his tongue down to your messy hole, petting you unabashedly, happily, even.
You didn’t think he could get any hotter. But this… this was outright perverted. Your core felt aflame at the sight, his pure enjoyment as he devoured the mixture of your cum like it was the most sacred delicacy. It had you moaning, legs trembling around his head, clit throbbing as he kissed and sucked at the poor bud.
Deft fingers brushed your core and were immediately coated in that same mixture, slick pouring from you as the shadowsinger continued his depraved quest. Two entered you with no warning and your back bowed, the digits instantly searching for that sweet spot as they pushed through the river of his release. A third joined and you released a garbled sob as they found their target.
Azriel, ever the observant one, took note and pummeled the spot relentlessly, knuckles curling as they slid in so they achieved full stimulation. His tongue was flat against your clit, licking you back and forth, and you were so sensitive from your previous orgasms that tears dotted the side of your eyes, your breathing ragged.
“Az, oh Gods— I—,” you mewled, hips squirming as the pleasure became too much. “Please, I can’t, it’s too much!”
But the Illyrian did not stop, would not stop unless he heard your safe word, his fingers picked up speed. “Come on baby, one more. Just one more,” the words vibrated through your cunt as he held you down, palm flat atop your tummy and pressing your sweet spot down so that it was even more vulnerable to his attack. “Trust me, it’s gonna feel so good angel, I swear.” His lips took hold of your abused pearl and he ravished you, his cum squelching as his fingers drove into you without reprieve.
Pressure gathered deep in your core and you whimpered, the intensity of your pleasure so great it was almost painful. You were close— so close to something big, you could feel that it was different from before with the way your cunt leaked and throbbed, the way your entire core felt on fire.
“Please—” you gasped, not even sure what you were pleading for, “Fuck Azriel, please, yes—!”
You screamed as you came, white-hot ecstasy imploding from your center. You nearly lost consciousness, your eyes crossed with utter bliss as liquid sprayed out of you and onto the shadowsinger’s chest. His chin, his torso, your thighs, and sheets, all of it was drenched as you couldn’t stop the squirt from pouring out of you. Fast fingers replaced his mouth and continued rubbing your clit, only slowing once you had ceased squirting.
Your entire body was shaking, toes curled into the filthy sheets, your brain trying to catch up but it was a mile behind your body.
“I’m— Az, I,” you stuttered, attempting to sit up, shock and shame taking root in your chest. The male was completely drenched from the chin down, the sheets beyond salvation. “I never— I’m sorry—“
A towel appeared from his shadows, and he swiftly wiped himself dry before he joined you on the bed, uncaring of the huge damp spot that now lay beneath you two. He shushed you with a kiss, taking your trembling form into his arms, a hand tucking your hair behind your shoulder. His lips were soft, his touch gentle as he tucked you against his chest.
“You have nothing to apologize for. I am so proud of you,” he said quietly, his low voice rumbling in your ear, “You did so well, little dove. Now let me clean you up.” His praise sent a pleasant warmth through your bones, and you curled closer to the male, basking in his embrace.
Secured in his arms, his shadows enveloped the pair of you in darkness, their cool caress whispering on your skin. Then, you were hovering over a large marble bath, steam wafting from the filled basin that Azriel was standing in the middle of. Slowly he lowered the pair of you into the water, holding you tighter when you squeaked at the heat from the water leaching into your tender core. He sat behind you, wings stretched over the lip of the tub, your chest against his back.
Wordlessly he tied your hair back and ran a damp cloth over your skin. You were still coming down from your high, the warmth from the water and the strong male at your back making your eyelids droop, exhaustion ebbing into your body. He held you up and washed your back and then his front, and when you leaned back against him, you somehow found the strength to smirk at the erection evident behind you. You scooted back to brush your ass against him and he growled lowly in your ear. The sound sent shivers through you, and you turned to face him, looping your arms around his neck.
You nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck, humming in content. The Illyrian kissed the top of your head, large hands supporting your weight as he lifted you from the water. The soft brush of a towel met your skin and his quiet laugh graced your ears when you refused to separate from him, your wet front clinging to his. Eventually he was able to pry you off of him so that he could fully dry you, but it took many kisses of encouragement and gentle praise.
Finally he placed you onto his bed, the silken sheets welcoming your clean, naked skin and flooding your senses with his strong, woodsy scent. Azriel slipped in beside you, his inked arms wrapping around you as he laid on his side, nose tucked into your hair, covering you under the blankets.
“So, did you fake it?” he whispered in your ear just as sleep was about to take you. He had clearly proven himself, teasing you now that you had experienced his full talents.
You swatted him with what little strength you had left, a lazy smile curling the corner of your mouth. “You’re deplorable,” you said and he laughed, gathering you closer to his chest.
You didn’t know what this night would mean moving forward, but you didn’t have the energy to care at the moment— completely drained from the earth-shattering orgasms the shadowsinger had summoned from you. You had the feeling he didn’t want to question it now, either, not as he held you like you were the most precious thing in the world, not when he had you naked, in his arms, in his bed. So you succumbed to slumber, content to leave the questions for the morning, your heart full and your body completely sated for the first time in your life.
⤷ masterlist
#azriel x female!reader#azriel x you#azriel x reader#acotar x reader#acotar x you#azriel smut#azriel fic#azriel fanfic#acotar fanfiction#angelshadowsinger#my work#azriel spymaster#azriel shadowsinger
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Azriel the Shadowsinger fics recommedation Part 2
To all the authors I've included: thank you for writing awesome fics, I admire your work with all my heart ❤️
⋙ Of Oblivious minds series by @pellucid-constellations
⋙ A Solstice to forget Part 2 by @hellcat8908
⋙ If It All Fell series by @pellucid-constellations
⋙ Forget Me Not Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 by @assassinsblade
⋙ Coming Home series by @acourtofwhatthefuck
⋙ Pushing the limits series by @starsxblazing
⋙ Too Much by @mrs-azriel
⋙ Practice On Me series by @acourtofwhatthefuck
⋙ The Hard Call by @captainsophiestark
⋙ A Valentine for You by @daycourtofficial
⋙ Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun by @daycourtofficial
⋙ Use Somebody by @daycourtofficial
⋙ Love of Choice by @writingcroissant
⋙ Fix You by @azriels-shadowsinger
⋙ Arrows and Ashes Part 2 by @assassinsblade
⋙ Just a Little Crush by @writingcroissant
⋙ Supposed to Be together Part 2 by @angelshadowsinger
⋙ Notice Me Part 2 by @heartless-tate
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Azriel Fic Rec Library 🦇💙
In no particular order, here's an extensive list of Azriel x Reader or Azriel x OC fics that I've compiled for those who can't get enough of him. I literally maxed out the number of tags/links you can include on a post for this 😂
🌼 personal favorite
🥀 angst
💞 fluff
🔥 smut
by @acourtofmenandthirst
You Called 🥀💞
by @moonlightazriel
Before you 🔥🥀
The truth about you 🥀💞🔥
The family we choose 💞
by @thelov3lybookworm
I Didn't Ask For This 🌼🥀
Finally Safe 🌼🥀
My brother. 💞
by @writingsbychlo
SWEET LIKE SUGAR 🌼💞🥀
false confessions 🌼🥀
how we survive 🥀
by @readychilledwine
Slow Hands 🌼💞🔥
Bound by Fate 🌼🥀💞🔥
Little Bat, Big Dreams 💞
Beauty in Pain 🥀
Devotion 💞
by @leafsandstarlight
Forced Revelations
by @lalacliffthorne
the basic rules of friendship 💞🔥
motorcycle 💞
by @bubbles-for-all-of-us
Hear the lonely cry out 🥀
Can you love me most? 🥀
Baby daddy 💞
by @draemgal
master of disguise 💞
by @azsazz
Nightlight 🥀
Wrong Side of the Right Coin Azriel x Reader x Eris 🥀
Just Hold On 🥀💞
What Lies Ahead
Bleed for Me
by @xoxonyxx
What Should've Been 💞
by @illyrian-dreamer
Spin the bottle 💞🥀
Our girl Azriel x Cassian x Reader 🥀
by @acourtofwhatthefuck
Practice On Me 💞🔥
by @danikamariewrites
Sixth Sense 💞
Shell 💞
Fever Dreams 🥀💞
Please Don't Go 🥀💞
Pointless Fights 🥀
Perfect Princess 💞
by @lidiasloca
more than this 🥀
by @tadpolesonalgae
please... 🌼🥀
washing his wings 💞
Can't Bring Myself To Hate You 🌼🥀🔥
His Personal Assistant
by @mother-above
The Golden Warrior 🌼
by @aquanova99
The Shadow and the Seraphim
by @fieldofdaisiies
Oh Those Romance Novels 🔥
Love's A Burden 🥀
by @ellievickstar
Between Two worlds
by @florence-end
Worst kept secret 💞
Stitch up
by @redheadspark
Reunited 💞🥀
Hold 🥀💞
by @acourtofmarvels
Miracle 🥀
by @bookish-whore
Haunted 🥀
by @honeybeefae
7 Minutes In Heaven 🔥🔥
Shadows of Fire Azriel x Reader x Eris 🔥🔥
by @reverie-verse
Ooops Mating Bond 🌼💞
by @cassiefromhell
Unexpected Azriel x Reader x Eris 💞🥀
by @ladylokilaufeyson5
A Little Helping Hand 🌼💞
I Will Always Find You 💞🥀
by @azrielhours
Soft Spot 🌼🔥💞
I want you to rest 💞🥀
Kiss Thief 💞
Soul Song 💞
Restless Dreams 🥀
Stolen Away 💞
Waiting for You 💞🥀
by @liahaslosthermind
Swarming children and elbows to the face 💞
by @itsphoenix0724
Tickle My Strings 🔥
by @jeannineee
Apology 💞
Umbra et Ventus
Blue and Red Azriel x Cassian x Reader
Stubble 💞
Illyrian Babies Azriel x Cassian x Reader 💞
Closure 🥀🔥
by @violette-hue
Fated 🔥
by @angelshadowsinger
Supposed to Be Together 🥀🔥
Prized Possession 🥀💞
by @callmeblaire
little friends 💞
by @fairydustblossom
tied to you 🥀💞
losing control🥀💞
pre relationship fluff 💞
by @throneofsapphics
up all night Azriel x Reader x Cassian 💞
by @arrantsnowdrop
Starlight 💞
Wrongly Accused 🥀🔥💞
by @clairebear08
Hide and Seek 💞
Betrayal 🥀
by @starlightandsouls
My Angel 💞
Yours To Keep And Cherish 💞
Bookshop Brawls 💞
by @azrielscrown
the secret of seduction 💞🔥
wake me up. 💞
by @glittergelpensblog
Shadow and Song
In the Dark
by @azriels-shadowsinger
brother's best friend 💞
by @xreaderbooks
Two sides 🥀
by @vacant--body
stay with me 🥀🔥
by @whisperingmidnights
We Shall Become Monsters 🌼
by @wishfulwithwine
You Belong With Me 🥀
by @queen--of--shadows
Healing Shadows 🌼
by @ochiolism
winter's frost
#azriel#acotar#azriel fluff#azriel smut#azriel acotar#azriel shadowsinger#azriel angst#azriel x reader#azriel x oc#azriel fic recs#azriel fanfic#cassian#rhysand#eris vanserra#a court of thorns and roses#lucien vanserra#acosf#acomaf#acowar#azriel fic#azris#fic rec list#fanfiction#acotar fic rec#acotar fanfic
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Azriel Fic Recs
Note: I do sometimes link my reblogs bc there is literally nothing I hate more than clicking on a link only to arrive at the ghost blog page.
Blogs to just read through
@azsazz @azrielhours @daycourtofficial @assassinsblade @illyrian-dreamer
@utterlyazriel @imaginesmai @solbaby7 @fieldofdaisiies @writingcroissant
@marvelsmylife
The Orange Peel Theory (fluff)
Hug (fluff)
@pellucid-constellations
Only in Dreams (angst, hurt/comfort)
If it All Fell (angst)
Of Oblivious Minds (hurt/comfort, fluff)
Reversal (hurt/comfort)
@bubbles-for-all-of-us
Buried Underneath (angst)
Golden Hour (hurt/comfort, fluff)
@mrs-azriel
Unrequited (angst)
A Pair of Spies (hurt/comfort)
@leoniestarlee
Illyrian Assassin (fluff, hurt/comfort) (series)
@florencemtrash
The Shadowsinger and the Inkbird (angst, fluff, hurt/comfort) (series)
In a Years Time (angst, fluff)
The Artificer (angst, fluff, hurt/comfort) (series)
@azrielsdove
Love and Loss (angst, hurt/comfort)
@readychilledwine
Haven (fluff)
Losing Forever (angst, hurt/comfort)
The Breakfast Club (fluff)
@serpentandlily
No Going Back (angst)
@violet-shadows
Low on Hope (hurt/comfort, angst) (series)
Speaking of Forgiveness (angst, hurt/comfort) (series)
@writingsbychlo
When You Hold Me (fluff)
@lalacliffthorne
The Basic Rules of Friendship (fluff)
@bluetimeombre
And I Wouldn't Marry Me Either (angst)
@prythianpages
I've Been Waiting for You (fluff, hurt/comfort)
Dandelions (fluff) (series)
When I Kissed the Teacher (fluff)
@imaginesmai
The Orange Peel Theory (fluff)
@azrielbrainrot
I Laugh Like Me Again...She Laughs Like You (angst)
@itsjunear
Hidden Feelings (angst)
@stxrvel
The Cliff (angst) (series)
@stormhearty
Pushed to the Edge (angst, hurt/no comfort) (series)
@heartless-tate
Notice Me! (fluff)
@leafsandstarlight
Annual Visit (fluff) (series)
@shadowandlightt
Of Nightmares and Memories (series) (angst)
@azriels-shadowsinger
I Can't Sleep with You Still Mad at Me (hurt/comfort)
Everything Reminds Me of You (angst, hurt/comfort)
I Broke the Lock You Were Screaming (hurt/comfort)
@thisblogisaboutabook
Rainy Season (angst)
@thehighladywrites
Banned From Intimacy (fluff, 18+)
@ervotica
My Hands are Searching (angst, hurt/comfort)
@grandlinedreams
Archeron Sister AU (angst, hurt/comfort) (series)
@azrielwingspan
A 'Tea' Party (fluff)
@angelshadowsinger
Scarlet-Tipped Secrets; Peonies, for You (angst)
@parkerslatte
Centuries Coming (angst, hurt/comfort)
@moonlightazriel
Worlds Apart (tog x acotar crossover, hurt/comfort) (series)
Nap (fluff)
@motherabove
All the Time in the World (angst)
@surielstea
Bright Smiles (fluff)
dividers by @cafekitsune
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MASTERLIST PART 3
—————————————————
EWAN MITCHELL (actor)
-> in need of a heir by @thought—bubble
-> a cursed place by @sapphire-writes 💀
-> devotion by @babyblue711
-> glass cuts deepest by @flowerandblood 🌧️
-> the softest whisper by @flowerandblood 🌧️
-> Behind the scenes by @neptuneiris 🌧️❤️🔥🤰⭐️
-> it’s the things we love most that destroy us by @valeskafics (hunger games au) 🌧️❤️🔥💀
-> articulate by @ valeskafics (hunger games au) ❤️🔥
-> reunion by @fioiswriting 💓🌧️❤️🔥🤰
-> the Great War by @cvspians 🌧️
-> the last of the dragons by @undertheorangetree ❤️🔥🤰🌧️💓⭐️
-> how long can we be a sad song by @namelesslosers 🤰🌧️
-> little wolf by @ valeskafics ❤️🔥
-> twisted love by @e1e4n0r5 ❤️🔥
-> napoleonville by @inthedayswhenlandswerefew ❤️🔥🌧️💓🤰
———————————————————————
HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN (ACTOR)
-> not my code by @erinkeifer ❤️🔥🌧️💓
-> parts of the truth by @anakinsgirlfriendreal 🤰❤️🔥🌧️
-> as fate would have it by @luminoustarlight ❤️🔥
-> ask nicely by @little-miss-vader ❤️🔥
———————————————————————
CHARLIE HEATON (Actor)
-> What happens in the dark room… by @byersbootyshorts ❤️🔥
———————————————————————
AZRIEL SHADOWSINGER (Acotar)
-> princess by @azrielslightintheshadows 🌧️
-> I fell for you by @ azrielslightintheshadows 🌧️
-> practice on my by @acourtofwhatthefuck ❤️🔥🌧️
-> What’s life without a challenge by @writingcroissant ❤️🔥
-> as a trophy by @ writing croissant 🌧️❤️🔥💓
-> no going back by @serpentandlily 🌧️ ⭐️
-> taken by @imaginesmai 🤰
-> don’t act like you care now by @jswizzlewrites 🌧️
-> can’t bring myself to hate you by @tadpolesonalgae ❤️🔥🌧️
-> his world by @reverie-verse 🤰🌧️💓⭐️
-> just a little bit of your heart by @fieldofdaisiies 🤰⭐️
-> closure by @jeannineee 🌧️💓
-> betrayal by @clairebear08 🌧️⭐️
-> don’t let my down by @courtly-chronicles 🌧️
-> get out by @sarahs-library ⭐️
-> you’re losing me by @starsxblazing 🌧️⭐️
-> untouchable by @serpentandlily 🌧️
-> last solstice by @ serpentandlily 🌧️💓⭐️
-> ringing in the new year by @amchapel 💓🌧️🤰
-> trust by @redheadspark 🤰💓
-> midnight muse by @azsazz ⭐️
-> pushed to the edge by @stormhearty 🌧️
-> never been good enough by @lure-of-writing 🌧️
-> come back by @ azsazz 💓
-> just hold on by @ azsazz 🌧️💓🤰
-> of nightmares & Memories by @shadowandlightt 🌧️
-> before I say goodbye by @lanitalay
-> here without you by @readychilledwine 🌧️🤰
-> fighter by @parkerslatte 🌧️💓🤰
-> 400 years by @safetypinxtales ❤️🔥
-> love lost by @hellcat8908 🤰🌧️
-> forced revelations by @ leafsandstarlight 💓🌧️
-> more than this by @ lidiasloca 🌧️
-> starlight by @ arrantsnowdrop 💓🌧️
-> two sides by @ xreaderbooks ❤️🔥💓
-> forgotten by @ sarahs-library 🤰🌧️
-> heavy weather by @ assassinsblade 💓
-> the shadowsinger and the inkbird by @ florencemtrash 🌧️💓
-> arrows & Ashes by @ assassinsblade 🌧️
-> untouchable by @ serpentandlily 🌧️
-> up the junction by @ tadpolesonalgae 🌧️🤰
-> falling Star by @ feyreswaterybowels 🌧️
-> scarlet-tipped secrets by @ angelshadowsinger 🌧️
-> shattered by @ azrielwingspan 🌧️
-> maddening by @ ellievickstar 🌧️
-> small world by @ readychilledwine
-> time you take for granted by @ imaginesmai 🤰🌧️
-> rainy season by @ thisblogisaboutabook 🌧️ ERIS MAINLY
———————————————————————
ERIS VANSERRA (Acotar)
-> betrayal by @clairebear08 🌧️❤️🔥⭐️
———————————————————————
KANG YEOSANG (ATEEZ)
-> richboy by @ateezmakemeweep 🤰❤️🔥
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I have some azriel angst recs for you bestie!! Here’s two recent ones I read that tore me apart! Just a warning they’re both unfinished as of right now but they’re just too good not to share
https://www.tumblr.com/courtly-chronicles/734280514154921984/dont-let-me-down-azriel-x-reader (absolutely heart breaking)
https://www.tumblr.com/angelshadowsinger/743671753592750080/scarlet-tipped-secrets-peonies-for-you (so so so sad)
If you read them let me know what you think!!!!!
OMG THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!!!! I WILL DEFINITELY READ THESE TN 🫶🫶🫶
update: turns out I’ve read both of these lol BUT I JS REREAD THEM AND THEY STILL HAVE THE SAME EFFECT 🥲
WHY AZRIEL WHYYYYYYY
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angelshadowsinger has a fic called “Assistance” that has some breeding kink. Thank me later.
👀👀👀
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Hi hi! Yep a "Kofi" is like a tipping site (see the response that someone else wrote in the ask). I want to contribute some $$ to you for your writing 💗
Thank you so much!! And thank you miss @angelshadowsinger for also explaining! This is so sweet of you thank you ♥️♥️ I just made an account 😅 my kofi
Absolutely don’t feel pressured to but I appreciate the sentiment 🥴♥️
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@angelshadowsinger Assistance was so hot 🥴🥵 highly recommend!
oh my god i love that one! someone else sent it in too, it’s one of my favourites 🥵
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Scarlet-Tipped Secrets; Peonies, for You
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Azriel x f!reader
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3.5k
𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐲: angst
𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬 (𝐓𝐖):
hanahaki!au, TW gore/vomiting (mildly descriptive— it’s bloody petals), unrequited love, themes of depression and lack of self worth, pining (so much pining), & dramaaaaa
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲:
When you develop feelings for your best friend, you delude yourself into believing you can ignore them for the rest of your life, if it means you can stay by his side. But once he starts seeing someone else, you discover that if you continue keeping your secret… your time on earth may be cut short. You find yourself with an impossible choice— remove all attachments to the shadowsinger and live, or hold out hope and suffer the consequences.
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞:
This one goes out to all my angst girlies. My ladies who like the feeling of tears crawling onto your pillow, of hurt balling up in your stomach as you wander through a fic. I see you and I feel you, and I cooked this one up special just for you.
𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞:
Mates do not exist in the universe that this fic is set in, meaning Elain is not “off limits” to Az, and Cass is single. Additionally, since mates aren’t a thing, marriage/weddings are!
･ ゜゜・．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･
ɴᴏᴛɪᴄᴇ: ʙʏ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴘᴀꜱᴛ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴇʀᴛɪꜰʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏᴠᴇʀ 18 ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴍɪɴᴏʀ. ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴀʏ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴ ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴛʜᴇᴍᴇꜱ. ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴅɪꜱᴄʀᴇᴛɪᴏɴ.
･ ゜゜・．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･��｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･
The first time it had happened, you had been more confused than anything.
Azriel had just given Elain a gift for Starfall; a pair of earrings that would glow a warm pink when kissed by the sun’s rays. Her cheeks turned the same color as she admired them, as did the tips of the shadowsinger’s ears.
Just one smooth petal rested in your palm as you brought your hand back from covering a cough, pink and delicate and beautiful. You thought that maybe it had landed in your palm before you coughed— even if there were no peonies in the vicinity and you hadn’t even seen one in months. Because there was no way that it had come… out of you.
The second time it happened, confusion became fear and it swiftly took root deep in your stomach. This time, it was a couple of petals, dewey in your hand as you turned away from your friends, shock running through you.
Azriel and Elain were sitting shoulder to shoulder on the love seat in the living room of the House of Wind, spirits being passed around by everyone and laughter filling the air. They had just shared a look you could infer was meant to be a secret between only them, but you had unfortunately witnessed the action. You could hardly breathe as you quickly hid the evidence of your newfound predicament, dumping the petals into a potted plant beside the mantle. You hoped that you were slick; taking a slow sip from your glass in an attempt to rid your throat of that tight, scratchy feeling even though your body was screaming for you to gulp it down.
In that moment, you realized that something was wrong with you. It would only take a few more petal-filled fits and two trips to the grand library of Velaris to discover that you were— to put it simply— completely, wholly, and undeniably doomed. It was there, during the early hours of morn and the empty, candle-lit corridors that you learned three things;
You were in love with your best friend, Azriel.
He was in love with someone else.
And you were going to die.
—
Things between you and the shadowsinger hadn’t always been so difficult.
Your relationship was, for many years, easy and left you feeling light; every conversation and interaction cherished. Initially, the pair of you had become fast friends; the other members of the Inner Circle even remarking on how he was usually a little slower to build relations. Perhaps something of your sense of self, intelligence, and silver-thorned wit had something to do with his initial intrigue. That was the guess Feyre ventured, anyway.
Once your friendship with the elusive male had blossomed, it was easy to maintain. Though you didn’t see him every day, when he did pay you a visit, the two of you made the most of it. The Inner Circle liked to poke at the pair of you, even going so far as to joke about your relationship that was not a relationship. And you and Azriel took it like champs; never wavering, always keeping it light in good fun.
But at night when you would crawl into your sheets and close your eyes, sometimes thoughts of him would find you. It was wrong to be thinking of your best friend like this when he so obviously would never feel that way for you, and yet… you pondered how his fingers would feel tracing across your naked back. You wondered what it would be like to melt into his arms at the end of the day, how his heartbeat would sound if it was just inches away from your ear, if you could lay your head on his chest.
You tried, you really did try to stop the thoughts from coming. But they quickly became more vivid, and more frequent than before. You couldn’t rid him from your mind— couldn’t focus when he came near, couldn’t hold up your end of the witty volley you usually shared because you’d get flustered if you stared at him for too long. Slowly, you had come to realize that the jokes your friends loved to make weren’t just conjecture— they knew all along that something was there.
It made you wonder if Azriel knew, too.
He was undeniably one of the smartest males you had come to know— your appraisal of him was sparkling, stellar. But when it came to things regarding emotion— specifically, his own emotions… he tended not to be quite as adept. So you had now landed in this confusion-fogged purgatory. Either your best friend knew you harbored feelings for him and he did not return them whatsoever— acting ignorant of your emotions. Or he didn’t know you were in love with him, didn’t even see a romantic relationship with you as a possibility, and maybe… if he were enlightened, he would realize that he… loved you too.
It was that very hope that had you holding out for so long. You so desperately wanted to believe that he just wasn’t aware of your feelings— of his— that you smushed your dignity down and continued to uphold your friendship, never revealing that you felt romantically attracted to him.
But the waiting game, of course, came back to bite you in the ass. Because the moment you realized he had started to see someone else… you knew that you had deluded yourself for months. All those nights that you laid awake, fantasizing about him and how he would proclaim his love to you… they were just fantasies. Nothing of the sort would ever happen.
Because now, he had Elain.
Her— the Archeron sister known for her gentle spirit and her striking face. She was quiet, and sweet, and goddamn breathtaking. Of course it had to be her; it couldn’t have been some bitch that would actually be deserving of your hatred. Because he was perfect, why would his choice of life partner be anything but? You couldn’t think of a bad word to say about the woman.
Elain had always treated you with polite kindness, a sense of regality emanating from her and her ethereal beauty. Though she wasn’t by any means your favorite female, there was nothing she had ever done to justify even a grain of dislike. You couldn’t say your few conversations had been riveting, nor her presence been warm and inviting… but they hadn’t been the opposite either. Your opinion on her was removed, but pleasant. Hell, if you could stand a blow to the ego, you might even admit you were jealous of the looks almost every male gave her when she entered the room.
The jealousy certainly ramped up once you realized that your beloved shadowsinger was one of those males… and actually, he was the only one she seemed to return interest toward, which of course… was salt in the wound.
As the weeks dragged on, their supposedly-secret affair began picking up speed. The sight of Azriel’s warm hazel gaze pinned to her made your stomach churn with unease, the petals itching up your throat more and more often. It became easier to just avoid the both of them in general, and with the absence of their presences, it was easier for you to pretend that everything was fine, and that you could handle your worsening condition on your own.
But of course, that was not the case.
Because after a few months, the Inner Circle gathered in private quarters above the Night Court Annual Starfall Ball. Thousands celebrated and swirled below you in the ballroom and yet you could only focus on one. It was then that the man who haunted your thoughts stood before the rest of you, pretty Elain tucked under his arm all giddy and shy, and announced they were engaged to be wed.
—
Warm liquid trickled out from the corner of your mouth, your ears ringing as your vision blurred in two, wide waves cleaving and then melting together again.
The crisp air felt welcome on your flushed cheeks, cool on your inflamed, ragged lungs. Stars danced above you as they pelted across the sky, and in your haggard state, they seemed to smear into a disorienting and beautiful masterpiece.
Someone was kneeling in front of you, large wings casting shadows around broad shoulders as they yelled something you couldn’t quite understand. The warm smell of them was comforting and you relaxed slightly, recognizing it was Cassian and slumping as his calloused hands came to hold your biceps.
The spliced image of him made it too hard to read the words on his lips. You tried to sit up but your body was drained, making it impossible to move. The Illyrian gathered your limp form into his arms and your head lolled to face the ground, finally piecing together what had happened.
A pile of pink, lush petals glistened up at you against the dark stone of the balcony floor, the light from the full moon sparkling off droplets of deep scarlet. It had happened again… and this time, it was even worse than before. You had had another episode— the evidence of it glaring even in your semi-conscious state.
“You’re in love with him…,” Cassian said slowly, barely even audible.
But you heard it— your body trembling with some sick concoction of shame and relief. For so long you had not uttered a whisper of your feelings, never daring to take ownership of them, let alone share them. There were no words that you could muster, nothing sharp or bright for you to make a response. You were just tired. Indescribably tired. Gods, you were so tired, your limbs felt as if they had turned to stone, and you could slumber for a thousand years.
“This doesn’t make any sense,” the male growled, squeezing your limp form closer to his firm chest. “I swear, he… Gods, this is fucked.”
You closed your eyes and allowed his body heat to seep into you, finding a small bit of comfort there. Cassian didn’t choose to say anything else as the waves of sickness gradually dissipated, leaving you weak and numb.
“Cass,” you rasped, barely able to get enough air to speak. “I’m scared.” Your head felt as if it was filled with a thick smog— struggling to get enough oxygen as you slowly recovered.
The General’s brow furrowed in pain at your pitiful confession, gathering you closer to his chest and tucking your head in tight beneath his chin. “I know, sweetheart. But you’re not alone. You don’t have to do this by yourself, not anymore. I’m here.” Cassian held you so delicately you wanted to cry, guilt pulsing through you as you realized he must have been terrified to have found you in such a sorry state. “I’ve got you,” he murmured, his voice low and full of promise, “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’m sorry,” you sobbed, woe taking root deep in your chest. Now that you had seen Azriel with her— like that, so clearly in love with her, parading their affections out in the open, for anyone and everyone to see as he twirled her around the ballroom earlier… It was too much. Every part of you throbbed in agony, and you were consumed in fresh throes of self-pity. It was completely humiliating to be this debilitated. All because you were in love with your best friend, and he was in love with someone else.
Cassian scrunched his brow, the planes of his chiseled face settling into solid lines as you regained your bearings. “There’s no need to apologize, Y/n. You didn’t ask for this— how you feel is not your fault. Your body is already punishing you for simply having feelings— don’t let your mind join in on the beating too.”
You nodded, tucking your hands into your chest as he sighed and stood, taking you with him. He lifted you into his embrace with the utmost ease, as though you weighed nothing more than a sheet of paper. Your evening dress fluttered with the movement. If anyone caught sight of you two from far away, perhaps it could be construed as romantic, the way he now held you in his strong arms, strolling away from the party.
“You don’t seem as… freaked out as I thought you would,” you whispered as he walked with lethal quiet. Shadows stood tall above you as you approached the hedged boundary of the estate gardens, cutting into the overwhelming display the falling stars continued to put on.
Cassian was quiet.
You took a minute to study his somber expression, trying to read what he was feeling in this moment of recollection. Clearly, he had some experience with this disease before. Otherwise, he would’ve ran you right inside the ball, or to the nearest healer. But he didn’t— instead, he’d wandered into the dark hedges of the grounds, concealing you from prying eyes and ears. As if he understood what you would want most in this moment of shattering vulnerability.
“I’m not sure why you expect so little of me, little one,” he eventually replied, coming to the center of the area. He perched you beside him on a wrought-iron bench, facing a small fountain whose gentle gurgle drowned out the last hints of the celebration you’d left behind.
You frowned. Your lungs felt looser— distracted by whatever it was that provided Cassian with experience regarding your dreadful illness. It was nearly enough to forget the bomb that had been dropped on you upstairs just twenty minutes ago. “It’s not that, it’s just—“ you began. Cass shot you a playful look and you sighed, a smile daring at your lips as you rolled your eyes. “Okay I just meant that before this, I’d never heard of this kind of thing…” Your voice trailed off, hand reaching to rest on his before you murmured, “I’m sorry you have.”
The Illyrian raised a brow and let out a short, hollow laugh. “Oh no— It wasn’t me, I don’t… Well, never that bad anyway. I’ve just seen… how bad it can get. An old friend of mine once had the unfortunate experience of falling ill to this plague centuries ago.”
You nodded and put your hands in your lap, digging a thumb into your palm. “What… happened to them?”
Cassian closed his lips and sighed, hands bracing his knees. Silence drew out for a long beat before he finally spoke. “He told the one he loved about his ailment. And they told him..,” he trailed off, gaze darting sideways to land on you. You gestured for him to continue, and he did so after a brief pause. “They told him they would never have romantic feelings for him. They asked him to have the procedure. They wanted him to live, and if they couldn’t love him… then that was the only way.”
You shuddered. The very notion of the procedure made your bones ache and your shoulders sag.
“So he did,” Cassian went on, undeterred. “And he survived.”
Quiet invaded the still air, otherwise only interrupted by the low chirps of crickets in the grass and the muffled party. Cassian decided not to speak any further on the subject, instead content to let a calm silence settle between the pair of you. But somehow, you found yourself talking— despite never having voiced aloud any of these feelings, any of these thoughts.
“Cass, do you think… I should have the procedure, too?”
It was a question that was fully weighted— heavy, you already knew, but by the way the Illyrian’s shoulders sagged, the gravity of it all seemed more drastic than before.
Cassian took his time to form a reply, but when he finally did, it was in a soft and hushed voice. “I am not the one that should be making such calls, Y/n. But I will tell you that my friend… he was never quite the same.”
You shared a look of understanding with him— he was your friend, and the male you were in love with was his brother. Freshly engaged brother, at that. The consequences of the procedure would certainly crack a deep fracture in the dynamic of your group. If anything, you would probably fade away from everyone, seeing as every one of your memories that the Shadowsinger dwelled in would be tainted— his absence removed entirely. He would not exist to you anymore, and even if that wouldn’t necessarily affect you, oblivious to his existence, everyone around you would not share that same luxury.
And Azriel would be there, too. He would have to see you and know that you had loved him so intensely, that those feelings were so wholly one-sided, that you had to physically remove him from your mind. All so that your heart could forget him and start anew. Would that bother him? Knowing that you had suffered because you had fallen in love with him, while he would never possibly feel that way for you? Surely that would make him uncomfortable, to be in your presence after that. So ultimately, it would be best to just move away, and start somewhere else— clean slate. Would he even miss you?
“Sometimes I think about it— the procedure. This disease, it’s a wretched way to live, Cass. It hurts,” you said, voice cracking as emotion welled up in your eyes and throat. “It hurts so fucking bad, I can’t even be around him anymore. Especially not now. Now that he’s…” You trained off, unable to say the words.
Cassian slid to your side, tucking you underneath a strong arm. The shadow of his wing furled around you from behind, encasing you in a warm, safe space. Tears began to race down your cheeks, gathering at your chin and splattering onto the silken fabric on your lap. You couldn’t stop them— still too drained from the fit from before. All you could do was cry as your friend gathered you closer to him, patting the top of your head with careful strokes, trying his best to comfort you.
Only once your crying seemed to subside did Cassian offer another solution. “Maybe… you could talk to him.”
You laughed— a hollow, broken sound. Cassian lips curved up at the sound nonetheless. “I’m simply nowhere near as brave as you, Cass.” Shaking your head, your gaze focused on the bubbling fountain before you. “Even if I could manage to face him, and confess to him… If he rejected me… I think I’d die on the spot.”
“Don’t say that,” he said, voice low.
You bit your lip. “And why not, Cass? There’s a good chance that I could drop dead any time I have one of these fits. That’s just reality.”
“Well fuck that reality,” Cassian spat, wings ruffling. “I don’t want to live in a world without you, and I sure as hell know Azriel wouldn’t either.”
“Well maybe I don’t wanna live without him!” you yelled. After holding back your emotions for so long, they just kept flooding out after the hole Cassian had punched into the dam that had kept them at bay. “Maybe I’d rather die than lose even one memory with him, maybe I’ll just hold out for as long as I can because I’m too fucking scared to lose him!”
Cassian’s face twisted into agony. “And what of those who love you?” he challenged, voice shaking slightly with emotion. “What about us, what happens when you die, and when the last memories we will have of you were you withering away before our very eyes?! You love him? Do you know what world of pain he will be in when he finds out what happened to you? And then to discover your absolute complacency in the matter?”
A sob escaped you as you felt every word of truth pierce the feeble veil you had called a shield in your attempt at denial. Your friend was right— you couldn’t allow this disease to win, not if that meant hurting everyone you loved in the process. And now that you thought about it— even if you chose to remember him, and let the sickness take its course… what good would those memories do you, when you’d be dead?
Cassian seemed to realize you had accepted defeat, because he tightened his hold on you and stroked your hair as you cried into his chest. The sadness you felt unfortunately was not alleviated by your tears, but at least… you had come to see that there was only one option forward.
You had to go through with the procedure.
You had to forget Azriel.
𝘩𝘪 𝘨𝘶𝘺𝘴!! 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 <3 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘧𝘪𝘤, 𝘚𝘛𝘚𝘗𝘍𝘠~ 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵𝘺 𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘦! 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘻𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯~
𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘮𝘬 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 2 & 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯!!
⤷ masterlist
#azriel x reader#acotar x reader#acotar x you#angelshadowsinger#azriel angst#azriel fic#azriel fanfic#acotar fic#acotar fanfiction#acotar angst#my work#azriel x you#STSPFY series
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𝐀𝐙𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐋
𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒:
‣ Always | Part 2 ✻ @xreaderbooksreads
‣ Attention, Please @finelinevogue
‣ Fearless Mates @k-daydreams
‣ Ooops Mating Bond @reverie-verse
‣ Prized Possession ✻ @angelshadowsinger
‣ Shadows of Destiny | Part 2 @reiincarnatiion
‣ Wake Up Call ✻ @florence-end
‣ Winter’s Frost | Part 2 ℠✻ @sapphenaa
𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐒:
@acourtofwhatthefuck
‣ Comfort ℠ ✻
‣ Coming Home ℠ ✻
‣ Bluebird | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI
‣ Practice On Me | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 ℠✻
@acotarTaylorsVersion (only on wattpad)
‣ Shadows Whisper || A Court of Death Sequel ℠ ✻
@theostrophywife
‣ Baby Fever
‣ Honeybun
‣ Rain Clouds
‣ Stars In Your Eyes
‣ Unholy ℠
‣ Wake Me Up
@azsazz
‣ Daddy!Az Fic Order
‣ Divine Darkness
‣ Here’s to Tradition
‣ Horrors of Hewn City
‣ Ringside
‣ The Games We Play | Part 2
‣ The Nature of Things
‣ You Keep Me Sharp and Test My Worth in Blood | Blurb | Blurb 2
@azrielhours
‣ Company of Phantoms
‣ I Want you To Rest
‣ Kiss Thief
‣ Pawn for Pawn | Homesick/Lovesick ✻
‣ Shackles and Release ✻
‣ Soft Spot ℠
‣ Stolen Away
‣ Waiting On A Ghost
‣ Wounded ✻
@bubbles-for-all-of-us
‣ Can You Love Me Most? | Part 2 ✻
‣ Gonna Hold You ✻
‣ Hear The Lonely Cry Out
‣ I'll Give You Wings So You Can Fly
‣ In the Middle of The Night ✻
‣ Little drop of your love✻
‣ Out of Reasons To Love You ✻
‣ Pretty Like The Wind ✻
@cosmic-whispers
‣ Control ✻
@danikamariewrites
‣ Caution
‣ Diamonds and Pearls
‣ I Just Feel You
‣ My Side of The Bed
‣ Shell
‣ Sixth Sense
@daycourtofficial
‣ Prophesize Me
‣ Solstice Celebrations
‣ We’re Bumping Booties, Having Us a Ball ✻
@draemgal
‣ Best Buds
‣ Dad!Azriel headcanons
‣ Midnights
‣ Spit in My Face ✻
@fieldofdaisiies
‣ Just A Little Bit of Your Heart ✻
@historiaxvanserra
‣ Unreal, Unearthed ✻
@illyrian-dreamer
‣ Changing Shadows ℠✻
‣ Spin The Bottle ✻
@jeannineee
‣ Closure | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 ℠✻
@ladylokilaufeyson5
‣ Never Yours | Evasively Yours Part 2 | Always Yours Part 3 ✻
‣ A Little Helping Hand
@lalacliffthorne
‣ I Really Don’t Think Now’s The Best Time
‣ Idiot ℠✻
‣ Ride Home
@leafsandstarlight
‣ A Call in the Night ✻
‣ Forced Revelations
@moonlightazriel
‣ Forget me Not | Part 2 ℠✻
‣ Secret ✻
‣ The family we choose
@parkerslatte
‣ Drawn To You
‣ Strings That Binds Us | Part 2
@readychilledwine
‣ Daddy!Azriel x Pregnant!Reader Drabble
‣ Bound By Fate | Part 2 | Part 3 ℠✻
‣ Losing Forever ✻
@thelov3lybookworm
‣ Don’t Grieve ✻
‣ Excited
‣ Happy Birthdays ✻
‣ With Her ✻
‣ I Didn't Ask For This | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 ✻
@throneofsapphics
‣ Girl’s Night
@serpentandlily
‣ Mystique
@violet-shadows
‣ Grounded | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
‣ I Knew It The First Night That I Saw You | Part 2
‣ Low on Hope | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 ✻
‣ Moving On | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
‣ Retribution | Part 2 | Part 3 ✻
‣ Speaking of Forgiveness | Part 2 | Part 3 ✻
‣ Wish Things Were Different | Part 2 | Part 3 ✻
‣ What Are We Waiting For? | Part 2 | Part 3 ℠✻
‣ Careful
‣ Scary Stories
‣ These Hands
‣ Take Care ✻
@writingsbychlo
‣ Avoidance
‣ Be Yours
‣ By Moonlight
‣ Cupcake
‣ Gossip
‣ Head in The Stars
‣ Sweet Like Sugar
‣ Under Violet Skies ℠
𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐀
𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒:
‣
‣
𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐒:
@bubbles-for-all-of-us
‣ Wildflower Series
𝐑𝐇𝐘𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐃
𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒:
‣ Home To Us @writingsbychlo
𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐒:
@readychilledwine
‣ Broken | Part 2 | Part 3 ✻
‣ 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐎: 𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐒
#azriel#acotar azriel#azriel x reader#azriel x fem!reader#azriel imagine#azriel imagines#azriel oneshot#azriel smut#acotar rhysand#rhysand imagine#rhysand imagines#rhysand x reader#rhysand x fem!reader#rhysand oneshot#rhysand smut
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Azriel Fic Rec Library pt. 2 🦇💙
I'm back with another list of one hundred Azriel x Reader and Azriel x OC fics for the Azriel lovers out there! these are in no particular order. enjoy!! ✨
🌼 personal favorite
🥀 angst
💞 fluff
🔥 smut
by @ellievickstar
River Side Confessions 💞
by @itsphoenix0724
Peony 💞
Gardenia 🥀💞🌼
Hold Me Gently 🥀🔥
by @azrielslostshadow
I see you 💞
lemon tart 💞🌼
by @imaginesmai
i love you 🥀
right around the corner 🌼
Something new 🔥
by @daycourtofficial
Cassian is a Nosy Busybody Who Can’t Keep to Himself 💞
We’re Bumping Booties, Having Us a Ball 💞
Prophesize Me 💞
Love Potion No. 9 💞
Everything is Not As it Seems 🥀
Your Love is My Drug 🔥💞
by @lidiasloca
even in sickness 💞
by @bubbles-for-all-of-us
only you my girl 💞
Pretty like the wind 💞🥀🌼
by @gothicbabydollz
more than a distraction 🥀🔥
by @azrielslightintheshadows
Princess 🥀
Best mistake 💞
Scary mate 💞
Failed proposal 💞🥀
Oops 💞
by @thesunloveschips
Eye of the Storm🌼
by @azriels-shadowsinger
Confessions 🥀
by @writingcroissant
As a Trophy 🥀🔥
by @tadpolesonalgae
Milestones 💞
The Secret World of Borrowing
Unchained 🔥
The Dregs of Tragedy
by @spellbookd
Little Mouse 🔥
by @serpentandlily
Untouchable 🥀
Mystique 💞🌼
Arcane 💞🌼
Scared to be Happier 🥀🔥
by @angelshadowsinger
Assistance 🔥
by @batboylover
mating bond snaps with a stranger 💞
Rhysand's Sister 🥀
protective w/ pregnant mate 💞
degradation gone wrong 🔥🥀
by @sxnktaalxna
Threads
by @mika-no-sekai-blog
Mirror, Mirror 🥀
Not my cup of tea 🥀💞
by @florencemtrash
The Artificer 💞
by @readychilledwine
Losing Forever 🥀
Love and 100 Other Lies 🥀💞🌼
Cat and Mouse
Whispers in the Dark 🔥
Lollipop
The Last Cabin on the Left 💞
Past and Future - Threefold 💞
Breathe 🔥
by @sarahs-library
Forgotten 🥀
by @parkerslatte
Drawn to You 🥀💞
Strings That Bind Us 🥀💞
Not Fated 🔥🥀
by @fieldofdaisiies
Just a Little Bit of Your Heart 🥀💞
by @fairydustblossom
losing control 🥀💞
encroaching promises 🥀🌼
by @mxigo
soul sick 🥀
by @leafsandstarlight
Bad Idea, Right? 🔥🌼
Never the One 🥀
Inadvertently Yours
by @jeannineee
Resolve 🥀
by @lure-of-writing
forgotten anniversary 🥀
by @danikamariewrites
Binx 💞
I Just Feel You 💞
Back Off 🥀💞
Alone? 💞
I'm Married 💞
Combined Aesthetics 💞🌼
by @theostrophywife
in my head. 🔥
by @cosmic-whispers
Control 🥀
by @artists-ally
Only Me and the Devil Know🔥
Train Wreck 🥀🌼
Smoke on the Water
by @soulessjourney
Autumn's Whispered Secrets 💞
by @aroseinvelaris
Guardian Angel 💞
by @pricklepearbloom
Late for Dinner 🥀
Baked With Love 🥀💞
by @moonlightazriel
Fake it until you make it… 🥀💞
by @lalacliffthorne
sleepy in the library 💞
sunday mornings 💞
when Azriel has a nightmare 🥀💞
by @whisperingmidnights
To Long-Forgotten Gods 💞🔥
by @sapchat
We Are Not Our Fathers 💞
by @thelov3lybookworm
Don't grieve 🥀
Babysitting 💞
by @throneofsapphics
bad idea 💞
by @throneofsmut
Size Difference 🔥
Hunter/Prey 🔥
by @shadowdaddies
The Greatest Casualty 🥀
by @fever-fluff
Home
Cats Out of the Bag, Claws and All 🥀
Take my Hand 🥀💞
by @thevanserrras
Tricks For Treats 💞🔥
by @moonlightazriel
Mask Off
by @azsazz
Midnight Muse 🥀💞🌼
by @acourtofmenandthirst
Love You In The Dark 🥀
#azriel#acotar#azriel x oc#azriel x reader#azriel x y/n#azriel fluff#azriel smut#azriel x you#azriel acotar#azriel shadowsinger#azriel angst#azriel fic recs#azriel fanfic#cassian#rhysand#eris vanserra#a court of thorns and roses#lucien vanserra#acosf#acomaf#acowar#azriel fic#azris#fic rec list#fanfiction#acotar fic rec#acotar fanfic
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Too Late (Priorities 2)
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Azriel x f!reader
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.1k
𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐲: angst
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲:
Azriel hurries back from his mission to find you’re gone. (sequel to Priorities)
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞:
hiii guys! i originally intended on leaving Priorities an open-ended angst, but! y'all demanded part 2, so here it is~ just so you know, this is not happy. if i make a part 3, that might be! also, sorry this is a bit late. this last week was crazy busy and next week probably will be too.
TW: very brief mention of vomit
･ ゜゜・．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･
ɴᴏᴛɪᴄᴇ: ʙʏ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴘᴀꜱᴛ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴇʀᴛɪꜰʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏᴠᴇʀ 18 ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴍɪɴᴏʀ. ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴀʏ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴ ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴛʜᴇᴍᴇꜱ. ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴅɪꜱᴄʀᴇᴛɪᴏɴ.
･ ゜゜・．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･
The wind howled as Azriel pelted through the sky, his raw cheeks stinging from its relentless barrage. Scarred fists were clenched so hard the imprint of his fingernails marred his palms, jaw set as he grit his teeth and powered through exhaustion.
You were right.
The mission that Rhys had sent him on was nothing but a menial task. Any of the lower members of Azriel’s investigation force could have done the job the same as him. But ultimately, it was only himself he had to blame; even if his brother had given him the task, he had failed to pass it on to his espionage underlings. Delegation was perhaps one of his weakest skills— even after all these years he felt he had to earn his worth within his family.
Thankfully, he was already on his way home the evening after leaving, the ordeal taking not even a full day. And he was flying full-speed in order to get back to you as fast as he could.
His stomach had been in knots ever since he winnowed from his room at the Town House, where he had left you alone with your tears. The sound of your sobs echoed in his head, and he bit the inside of his cheek as he recalled your pleas for him to stay.
He should’ve listened— This mission was the last nail in the coffin he had been slowly building every time his brother had summoned him away from you, calling him to duty with barely any time to rest between requests, barely any time to hold you in his arms.
Gods, he missed you. Every time he had to leave you was like pulling teeth, his body and his shadows always begging to stay by your side, savor your kiss and your touch and your voice whispering sweet nothings in his ear. But his mind always won out. He couldn’t count how many times he had forced himself to withdraw from your ambrosial embrace, how many times he averted his sight from your melancholy gaze. If he allowed himself to linger on it, shame would begin to swirl in his guts and tighten his throat.
The border of Velaris came into view and the shadowsinger dared to smile, stopping on a tall plain to gather a few wildflowers together. A meager peace offering, but a gift to show his remorse nonetheless. He had never returned to you empty-handed after a fight, and would not begin now.
Azriel plucked a few more stems to fluff up the bouquet, silently preparing himself for the emotional turmoil that was bound to ensue. The things he felt for you terrified him— and maybe that was partly why he would always answer Rhys’ call. Because if he stayed, and told his brother no… that would be his recognition that you had become his top priority. Perhaps it was time to make that leap, he thought, as he winnowed right into the foyer of the townhouse.
The home was eerily silent as he materialized in the dark, no candles or faelight illuminating the first floor. The sound of the clock ticking caught his attention, hazel eyes glancing at the last hour of dusk. The Illyrian frowned, straining to hear you, hoping to pick up the clank of dishes in the sink, the crisp turn of a page from a book, or even the quiet breaths of your sleeping form from the couch you usually dozed off on when you waited up for his return. But he detected not a single sound.
Anxiety exploded in his chest, his shadows immediately surging out in every direction without needing instruction. His feet were moving before he could think, swiftly carrying him to the last place he had seen you— where he left you, falling apart and alone.
He cursed as he hurtled up the stairs, three steps with each stride. It was times like these that he especially wished you were his mate, so that he could reach out to you and calm the ceaseless concerns that regarded your well-being every second he was apart from you.
Rounding the corner, Azriel burst into his bedroom, eyes immediately zeroing in on the empty, made bed. Within a second, faelight lit the room. His shadows dwindled in the corners of the room, uncharacteristically mild as they slowly swirled at the floor, not reporting their findings to their master. Azriel bared his teeth at none of them in particular, but the reprimanding he was ready to bark out died in his throat as he noticed a small whirl of black lingering on the nightstand at his side of the bed.
He came closer to inspect it, the little mass of shadow concentrated there, some spilling down the drawers at the side and joining its gloomy brethren on the ground. With a wave of his hand it dissipated. The bouquet in his grip fell to the tile with a soft whoosh.
Your ring.
It felt as if he had been shot, the jolt of lethal pain akin to when he had taken an arrow to the chest in Hybern. His lips parted as he examined the delicate silver band, the large, tear-shaped sapphire that once gleamed so brightly now dull against the wood.
‘Stop wearing this the day you stop loving me,’ he had said, his arms around her as she giggled into his chest. She was giddy at his gift, kept admiring how it looked on her finger, her hand fanning out so the moonlight would catch the gem and shine.
‘That would be never, shadowsinger,’ she had replied easily.
He had never felt so light, so careless and content; she loved him too. She loved him, and he kissed her like she was the only thing that mattered.
Perhaps she was.
Azriel fell to the ground, his knees buckling and smashing onto the hard tile. He barely felt it, every fiber of him in shock as he stared at the piece of jewelry that lay on the tabletop, now at eye-level.
He barely heard his shadows inform him that the ring was the only piece of you in the home left, that your clothes and books and even that ugly throw pillow he hated was gone from the sofa. His wings slowly dipped until they pooled into a black mass on the floor behind him, dread oozing through him as he read the words that laid on the note beneath your ring.
I’ll never stop, even if you have.
The shadowsinger sat and stared at the ring, at those awful words. He read them again, and then he reread them, again and again.
He had told you he loved you before he left… But you didn’t believe him. And why should you, when all he gave you as of late were empty promises? Pretty words could only satisfy temporarily, and the latest string of seemingly-endless missions was longer than ever before.
Doubts began to fill his mind with malicious whispers, his gaze still stuck on the ring and that hideous note. They murmured the thoughts that often found him at the odd hours of the night, when he would lay with your perfect body in his arms and sleep would welcome you but evade him– that you deserved more than he could ever give you, that he was unworthy of your pure and whole love.
The sound of droplets splattering on the ground summoned Azriel from his descent into devastation, and his eyes slowly fell to examine the tiny pools his tears had formed beside his knees. He hadn’t realized he had started crying. He gingerly raised a scarred hand to his cheek, studying the newfound wetness on his fingertips. It had been so long since he last cried, the evidence of his emotion was foreign.
Shaky fingers plucked the ring from the nightstand, coming to hold the tiny finery in his lap. It looked so bizarre against the crude black of the leathers binding his thighs, so bright and pure that he couldn’t help but think of you. Couldn’t help but think of when he had seen you personified the same, and he himself as a mass of darkness that would bleed into your light and poison you somehow. He thought of how every time he felt that way, you had worked so hard to convince him that he deserved you and that he deserved love, that you were so happy to be the one to give it to him. More tears escaped as he now realized his failure in telling you the same. You had always been there for him, and when you had begged him for support in your time of need, he had failed you. He had run away.
And now you had erased all traces of yourself from the house Rhys had gifted him.
The town house had become Azriel’s official residence since his brothers had coupled off, and it had once been the fortress of his solitude. That was before he had found you, and before you had gradually moved your things in… before it had become a home. And now that it was void of you once more, it had suddenly reverted back to that empty, bleak place he had learned to hate.
A lump formed in his throat at the notion that perhaps this place had slowly transformed into your own prison of isolation these last few months. That maybe you had felt this sinking, desperate feeling when you were here, in the place that was meant to be your nest of love, your safe haven. That you had told him you were drowning here, and he had simply told you to wait for him when you were already exhausted, gasping out for him with your last breath. That when he had disregarded your desperate plea, he had effectively swung the sword and severed any faith you had left in him.
You were gone, and it was all his fault.
He was too late.
Nausea rolled deep in his gut and he winnowed in front of the toilet just in time before the contents of his stomach surfaced. Only once his body had heaved up everything it could did he begin to sob, knuckles pale as they clenched onto porcelain, his broad form slumped on the cool tile. Shadows swarmed the bath, mirroring their master’s distress.
Eventually the shadowsinger sat back against the nearest wall, trying to calm his ragged breath. The shadows produced the note that had been left behind, and the sight of your parting words to him nearly triggered another fit, bile rising at the back of his throat. But he paused as he read the words again, scrutinized them even though they were few and short. He sat up and analyzed the note, hazel revisiting and eating up every curve of ink.
You still loved him.
Even after he had ignored you, neglected you, failed you… you still loved him. Was there a chance that you… still wanted him? If he could repent and swear to do better, would you take him back? If he could just talk to you, if he could get one more chance from you… he could love you. He already did love you, but if he had another shot to be with you, then he could really give you his all, he could really allow himself to love you like he had always dreamt of. He could stand up to his brother, he could tell you how his world was meaningless without you, he could cherish you– prioritize you, he could…
Azriel frowned, a panicked hand combing through his dark hair.
Could he do all of that?
He had never been so outright with his emotions, it felt weak to bear his heart to such a degree… But what was the alternative? A life without you? A life filled with wondering what could have been had he not been a coward that was too scared to tell you how he really felt, too scared to even try?
If there was a time to be brave, it was now.
He was absolutely terrified, but his resolve was steel as he took a minute to fix himself, another to grab the flowers from the ground and ensure he had your ring. And then he was off in search of you, shadows enveloping him and melting into the night.
･ ゜゜・．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･
#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel fanfic#acotar fic#acotar fanfiction#acotar angst#acotar x you#acotar x reader#azriel angst#my work#angelshadowsinger
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Priorities
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Azriel x reader
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.4k
𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐲: angst
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲:
Azriel leaves for yet another mission, even when you beg him to stay. Little does he know, you won't be waiting for him when he returns.
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞:
so many of y'all sent me drabble ideas; thanks so much!! I will shortly get started on those, but... no one asked for angst. alas, i was in the mood so here it is anyway (T^T)
･ ゜゜・．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･
ɴᴏᴛɪᴄᴇ: ʙʏ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴘᴀꜱᴛ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴇʀᴛɪꜰʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏᴠᴇʀ 18 ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴍɪɴᴏʀ. ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴀʏ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴ ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴛʜᴇᴍᴇꜱ. ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴅɪꜱᴄʀᴇᴛɪᴏɴ.
･ ゜゜・．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･
“You know I would rather stay here with you,” Azriel said, shooting you a look as he pulled the buckle of his greaves taut.
He was leaving.
Again.
And he was telling you the same thing as always. This conversation you loathed, the one that you would always circle back to. You could feel that he was tired of this, tired from his last mission, but you needed to get this off your chest. You sat in the bed upright, the sheets bunched around your naked chest as you fought back tears. He had only returned from his previous mission last night, yet here he was— about to depart on yet another tedious quest, rushedly strapping his leathers to his firm build.
“Would you?” you hissed.
You hated yourself for being so weak; your voice wobbled as anger and pain consumed you. But the shadowsinger wouldn’t know; he couldn’t feel your emotions, only observe them— he was not your mate, no matter how badly you wished he was.
He sighed, as if this conversation was a chore. “I am the Spymaster of the Night Court— I have to go. Rhys needs me.”
The male who held your heart was smashing it to the floor, crushing it beneath the boots he now clasped on. He didn’t even spare a glance at you, expecting you to just accept that he was never around anymore. He was going, and he didn’t care if he had your approval or not.
“What about me?!” your voice broke and he finally looked at you— noticed how your eyes were red-rimmed, shining as you clenched the sheets in tight fists. “What if I need you?”
Azriel paused, pain flashing in those hazel orbs you loved so much. He let out another weary breath, scarred fingers coming to pinch his brow, this fight such an inconvenience that a headache was forming there. “Please, Y/N— I have to go. You know this. I’m sorry, I promise the second this mission is done I’ll be all yours…”
Lies. Such pretty, cruel lies.
You couldn't help but wonder if he would stay, if you were his mate.
You bit your lip and stared at your lap. Tears finally ran down your cheeks, and you didn’t have the strength to look at him, for him to see how badly you were hurting.
You knew what he was when you had first started seeing him, but this… he had barely seen you these last few months, only brief weekends or a few nights here and there. The mission the High Lord was sending him on now was tedious, and nowhere near as grave as it should’ve been for someone of Azriel’s importance.
“Why does it have to be you, Az? Can’t he send someone else? You can’t be the only one that he can call on…”
The bed dipped as he sat beside you, a gentle hand tipping your chin up to meet his gaze. He examined the wetness tracking down your face, the devastation in your eyes.
“I’m sorry,” was all he offered, a thumb brushing over your cheek.
You studied the Illyrian. Sorrow was evident in his eyes, but you knew there was nothing you could say to make him change his mind. And he knew there was nothing he could say to comfort you.
“That’s not enough,” you whispered, fingers landing on his wrist.
Dark hair fell onto his forehead as he tilted his head— a foreign emotion entering his gaze. His voice was soft and low as he uttered, “What?”
Your chest shook as you moved his hand away from you, placing it on the sheets at your side. “This isn’t enough anymore Az. I can’t— you’re never here anymore… There's only loneliness here now and I feel like I— I'm drowning in it.”
Pink lips parted as he recognized the despair in your tearful stare. Panicked hands latched onto your bicep, the other tucking your mussed hair behind your ear. “Don’t— Don’t say that, angel. I know I’ve been busy with work lately, I do, just— hold out for just a little longer, we’re almost through this.”
“Are we?” you asked, shaking your head. “How can you even say that? You and I both know the second Rhys asks you to go, you will. It doesn’t matter if you’ve just come back, if you’re hurt, if you’re exhausted— where is the line? When will you tell him no?”
Hardness cut the emotion in his gaze, his tone icy as he growled lowly, “Rhys is our High Lord— think carefully of how you speak of him.”
You bristled at his tone. “He is your brother above all else— Should he not care for you? Can he not see he is demanding too much of you, overworking you? And where is your self-respect, will you only say yes, and yes and yes— until you collapse from exhaustion?”
Azriel stood and strode away, scarred fingers curled into fists. “I don’t have time for this fight again,” he snarled, yanking a vambrace off the dresser and shoving it up his forearm.
“Of course you don’t, you don’t have time for anything! You never have time for me!” you yelled, shoving on the cotton shirt he had discarded when the two of you had undressed last night. It felt too vulnerable to expose your bleeding heart while you were physically bare, but little reprieve came from the clothing.
The male ignored you, working on his other arm before he slung a sheath around his waist. His favorite dagger gleamed, taunting you while you sat and watched him ready himself for yet another journey.
He was really going.
Another wave of sadness washed over you. You had reached your breaking point.
“I love you, Azriel,” you sobbed quietly, more tears escaping now as he finished equipping his weapons. “But I can’t be with someone who is never here… I can’t— I can’t do this anymore. I have so much love to give you, but how can I when I cannot reach you? And me— I deserve to be loved too, Az... do you... do you even love me anymore?”
It was only the truth that was pouring from you now, no matter how bad it hurt to acknowledge such things. You wanted to be loved, and Azriel was not giving you that as of late. You wished he would give himself to you, choose to spend more time with you... but he had come to prove to you time and time again that he would never prioritize you. His duty to the court and his pure devotion to his brothers would always come before you, no matter if they demanded too much of him.
The sound of metal and leathers stopped as you cried, your face falling once more as you held your head in your hands. Heavy boots thudded as he came back to you, a hand coming to pet your hair as he planted a kiss on your forehead.
“Of course I love you, Y/N… so much,” he said, his voice laced with emotion that he battled to keep at bay. Your plea had sliced his heart; your doubts of his love for you scathing him. But his brothers were already waiting for him, and he couldn’t delay his departure any longer… no matter how the sight before him broke his heart. “Please just wait for me... I swear we will sort this out when I return.”
He lingered close for a moment, hoping you would find comfort in his promise. But you only folded in on yourself, body shaking with sobs. For a moment he considered staying; he did not want to leave things like this, unresolved, an open wound bleeding and aching.
As always, Azriel ultimately decided to go— the air rushing as shadows gathered around him— and then he was gone. He promised himself he would make haste with this mission; the idea of you hurting alone made his stomach clench with unease and he would not delay returning to your side and resolving this.
But he wouldn’t get the chance, not this time.
Because the second he was gone, you let yourself fall apart, knowing that by the time he returned, you would be gone.
For once, you would be the one that was leaving.
･ ゜゜・．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･
#azriel x reader#acotar x reader#acotar x you#angelshadowsinger#azriel angst#azriel fic#azriel fanfic#acotar fic#acotar fanfiction#acotar angst#my work#azriel x you
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oh my fucking god your work is incredible! holy literal shit balls i have never felt that entranced by a fanfiction until reading yours. thank u thank u thank u your azriel is PERFECT.
also i’m totally gonna need your thoughts on azriel sharing with his shadows 👀
re: ummmmmmm call me parmesan bc u got me CHEESIN!?!?!! that is literally sO sweet of you to say, i am touched 🥺 as a fic author you always worry if you’re making the character OOC and, it just makes me so happy to hear your praise!! thank you so much anon~ ♥︎ This HC is a bit more than what you’ve asked for, but it does includes it, so pls enjoy!
Azriel’s Shadows Around his Mate Headcanons
･ ゜゜・．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･
ɴᴏᴛɪᴄᴇ: ʙʏ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴇʀᴛɪꜰʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏᴠᴇʀ 18 ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴍɪɴᴏʀ. ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ʙᴇʏᴏɴᴅ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ ᴍᴀʏ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴ ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴛʜᴇᴍᴇꜱ. ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴅɪꜱᴄʀᴇᴛɪᴏɴ.
･ ゜゜・．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･．｡ ･ ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･
In my eyes, Azriel’s shadows are a part of him. There hasn’t been much insight that Maas has given us with shadowsingers and their capabilities in general, but this is what I choose to believe~
Since Azriel’s shadows were perhaps the first of his powers, and the first entity to treat him with some kindness/obedience, I think he would be very in tune with them and he himself would consider them a part of him. He has had over 500 years to develop his relationship with them and therefore, I believe once he found his mate, his shadows would be just as captivated with her as he himself.
Obviously, Azriel is a total simp for his girl (but that’s another hc in its own), so that means his shadows are too. Honestly, it could be viewed as annoying how often at least a few of his shadows are constantly at your side. He’s used to having them totally loyal to him, so now that he has to share them with you… well, it’s not really actually that cumbersome, because he knows that even when you two are apart, he’ll be sure to know if you need him/his help. Though he has a couple less to send out on his spymaster business, technically, the ones with you are acting as his spies anyway. Just, with a far more interesting and important subject.
His shadows do a variety of things for you, making your everyday life easier and more pleasant. Just as their master, the shadows like to give you princess treatment.
For example, they go out of their way to help you with mundane things. If you’re making dinner and a tomato rolls off the cutting board, they’re pushing it back to you. When you’re putting on a dress, they’re helping you with the zip and clasp. If you’re writing something and your pen runs out of ink, somehow they’ve procured a new one that matches your exact preferences.
Both Az and his shadows notice the small things. They take notes of your likes and dislikes, what makes you giggle, cry, or provides you comfort.
At times when he’s away for a long while, and you’re missing him, they will deliver small gifts to you. A couple flowers tied with twine, native to the strange lands he’s currently working in. A special spice he knows you love to use in the foods you share with him. An especially-delicious pastry made with your favorite fruit/flavor. Though the shadows themselves do not find you gifts, they are happy to deliver whatever Az requests they send.
They also will take anything you wish to send him. Whether he’s in another country, or simply training at the House of Wind with his brothers, his shadows will deliver your every gift. Most of the time it’s little sweets or a lunch you’ve packed. Sometimes when you’re feeling cheekier, a receipt from the lingerie store informing him of your latest purchase. If you’re really feeling brazen, sometimes the panties themselves. His shadows are perhaps happiest to carry those items, either to get into contact with them or to see their master’s red cheeks as he shoves them out of his brothers’ view.
His shadows are your caretaker when he is not with you. When you’ve fallen asleep staying up for your mate’s return from yet another mission, his shadows will tuck you under your favorite blanket, taking off your reading glasses and ensuring your spot in the open book on your lap is not lost. Az nearly melts when he comes back to the sight, you dead asleep on the couch in front of the blazing hearth, his shadows perched dutifully there, guarding you.
However, they grow attached to you and even when he is with you, they will not leave you alone unless he commands them.
Azriel likes to take full advantage of his time alone with you. There is nothing he finds more comfort and pleasure in than being in your embrace. Sometimes that’s hard to do, though, when his shadows steal away your attention, or beat him to helping you with the zip of your dress.
It’s a very endearing sight to see him get jealous of his own shadows. He’d have a scowl on his face as he glared at them, silently ordering them to leave your side so he could have you all to himself. The shadows would melt onto the floor, gloomy in a way, whisper once more around your ankle before they go off to fulfill their master’s instruction.
Most of the time, you manage to guilt your mate into letting a few of them come back. And as soon as he calls them, they appear and shoot right for you. Az rolls his eyes but of course he understands. How could they not fall in love with you?
Azriel is actually very good with sharing. This usually applies to you when his shadows are involved, though sometimes he just needs to be alone with you. Whether it’s to have his way with you or just to snuggle up and bask in his mate’s presence. When he needs time like that, he will have his shadows guard your quarters and they will do so without question— fiercely protecting the only two beings they care for.
~spicy hc’s begin ;)~
Most of the time, Azriel will take the lead in pleasuring you— as he should, as your mate— but he’s likely to let his shadows watch or join his efforts if they play a supporting role.
For example, his favorite thing is to be between your legs, feasting on your sweet cunt and making sure you know you are his, while his shadows hold you down so you can’t move an inch. This way, you have to take the pleasure in the exact way he desires, unable to greedily chase your high or buck your hips or push him away.
Usually he plays with you for a while like this, teasing you and edging you a handful of times before he’s ruthless, unstopping even after you’ve come. He does cease his ravishing after you’ve come again, only to ensure he doesn’t overstimulate you before he’s had a chance to fuck you like you both want.
His shadows are happy to shackle you and render you helpless to his onslaught of pleasure; they love hearing your wanton cries and will dry away any tears of pleasure that escape with a cool, ghostly caress.
Speaking of their caress, one of his favorite uses for them is to soothe your skin when he’s done marking it up. Meaning, after every spank or particularly hard bite, the shadows will rove over the irritated flesh, kissing you with their cooling tendrils.
Since the shadows are slightly cold, sending them to curl around your nipples while he fucks you from behind is also another favorite. The temperature-play heightens everything— especially when they move down your curves to tease at your clit or your ass, depending on your preference…
Sometimes he lets them fuck you as part of your foreplay— usually while you’re sucking his cock. He just loves the surprise that flickers in your eyes when you’re choking on the length of him deep in your throat, how your lashes flutter when that familiar cool touch tickles your inner thighs and pushes your wet panties aside, how your moan feels vibrating around him when they thrust inside of you. He savors how your rhythm gets thrown, how you struggle to continue when his shadows are running over every sensitive crevice of your most intimate parts.
On rarer occasions, Azriel will let the shadows have their way with you. He’d sit back in a comfortable, wing-friendly armchair, darkened hazel eyes drinking in every movement before him— you with your eyes rolled back in ecstasy, the darkness holding your legs spread and fondling every inch of you— cupping your tender breasts, tweaking those pert, hard nipples… stroking your face, your hair, your hips and thighs… flowing over your puffy clit, slipping between your dripping folds and even wandering inside of you, perhaps just as deep as Azriel’s cock could reach. He would jerk his leaking shaft at the sight before him, lip held prisoner in his feral snarl. He wouldn’t be able to last very long, the sight before him too much for him to keep his composure.
When you’re both spent and panting for breath, the shadows will run up and down your moistened back, taking away the heat that lingers there and helping to lull you to sleep.
Only when you’re unconscious do they return to Azriel, curling around his shoulders in thanks. They know they are lucky to be the sole creature/presence with which he shares his mate, and any time spent with you is valued payment for the many services they provide their master with.
#anon love#anons make angel blush (˘◡˘)#azriel x you#azriel x female!reader#azriel x reader#acotar x you#acotar x reader#azriel smut#azriel fluff#azriel fanfic#azriel fic#azriel headcanons#azriel hcs#angelshadowsinger#my hcs#my work
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Supposed to Be Together {part 3 - finale}
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Azriel x f!reader
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 9.8k
𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐲: angst, fluff, SMUT SMUT SMUT
𝐊𝐞𝐲𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: long-winded confessionals, many a love-bomb, and many a spice ;)
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲:
𝘍𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘷𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 . 𝘈𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘴, 𝘢 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘱 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵.
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞:
𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭, 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴!! 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨-𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘪-𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴, 𝘚𝘵𝘉𝘛! 𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘶𝘺𝘴 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺. 𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘳 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘩, 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘢𝘵-𝘣𝘰𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘳𝘶𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥! 𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘦𝘵-𝘵𝘰-𝘵𝘩𝘦-𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭. 𝘐 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘐 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘵 (𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘈𝘻 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘩𝘦𝘩𝘦𝘦). 𝘌𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺~
ɴᴏᴛɪᴄᴇ: ʙʏ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴘᴀꜱᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇʟᴏᴡ ꜱɪᴘʜᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴇʀᴛɪꜰʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏᴠᴇʀ 18 ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴍɪɴᴏʀ. ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ʙᴇʏᴏɴᴅ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴘᴏɪɴᴛ ᴍᴀʏ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴ ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴛʜᴇᴍᴇꜱ. ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴅɪꜱᴄʀᴇᴛɪᴏɴ.
Azriel all but fell into the room. The large male caught his footing at the last second, having been flush against the door just seconds before. He seemed shocked that you had really granted him entry, prepared to grovel and linger pitifully on your doorstep all night– all week– however long it took.
You bit down the noise of pleasure that attempted escape when you grabbed his wrist and your skin sang, yanking him inside and shutting the door behind him. Now it was just the two of you in your bedchambers, and if the rest of the Inner Circle had their wits about them, you would remain undisturbed for quite some time.
Glassy hazel eyes widened at the sight of you– your chest heaving slightly, your starry, doubtful gaze shooting arrows into his limbs and pinning him to the door that he had just so desperately clawed at the other side of. He tried to put on some kind of guise– as he did any time emotion bloomed– but he could only stare at you. No words filled the void between you, which only seemed to grow vaster as each moment passed.
You watched as his mouth parted, but nothing came out, his eyes flicking around every inch of you– frantic, nervous– anxious. Anxiety cascaded from the other end of the bond, and you wondered if he could spot the surprise on your features. You had thought all the anxiety you felt this eve was only yours, but it was also nagging him– crushing him, drowning him.
He was still fumbling, breath turning erratic as he tried to say something– anything– but he didn’t know where to start, didn’t know how to approach you when he had left you so shamefully the other morning. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he needed to tell you. But you were looking at him expectantly, and his body was absolutely roaring at him to engulf your smaller figure, to hold you in his embrace and never stray from you again. All while his mind scrambled to select a route forward, weighing between dousing the fire inside that demanded to feel your skin on his, launching into some magical explanation that would justify his horrid actions, and just plainly falling to his knees in repetent woe before you.
His body decided for him. He took one step toward you– expression unchanged, unaware he was even moving– and his knees slammed onto the floor.
The sound of his descent was deafening, and you flinched at the pain that twisted his chiseled face. Somehow you had a feeling it was not from the physical action, rather, the emotional distress he was currently battling. He appeared almost ghostly in the dimly-lit room, skin drained of the usual caramel color that you’d imagined the taste of on many a night.
“I am sorry,” the shadowsinger finally choked out, his voice gravelly and low. He closed his eyes, lips pursed and wavering, then gaze snapping open and fixing you with such intensity you stopped breathing. “I was weak. I never should have run from you. The thought of your suffering– the cause only mine, my cowardice alone…” he couldn’t look at you anymore, and his visage darkened, shadows coming to swirl around his knees as utter shame enveloped him. “I shall regret it every moment, until I draw my last breath. I am sorry… I’m sorry…” he kept repeating it, quieter each time, fists balled on the tile just inches from your feet.
Tears dribbled down your cheeks and gathered at the point of your chin, lips wobbling as you tried to clutch onto the sheer disappointment, the anger that had governed your emotions for the past few days. But the sight of this male– your male– so laden with contrite, his self-hatred overt in the way he was slumped, eyes downcast, wings drooped behind him on the cold tile before you…
It was his sob that finally broke your trance.
The spymaster of the most feared Court in Prythian, perhaps the most feared Illyrian there ever was… he was crying. Fat, salty droplets splashed onto the ground below him, the evidence irrefutable. He was on his knees for you, remorse billowing from his silhouette just as the dark shadows that obeyed him did. You could smell his sorrow, the stench of undiluted regret oozing out of him.
And you could tell, now, what he was thinking, what he was coming to accept as truth as every second passed and he lay before you, vulnerable and guilt-ridden, and you remained in silence, watching him, unmoving; that he had had his chance– the chance he had written off after so many centuries of solitude, and he had been stupid enough to let it– let you– slip right through his fingers. That you would never accept this, and that you would not want him, not give him another chance. That as you stood and took in his pathetic excuse of an apology, his teary groveling, you would decide to reject him. Forsake him to the true fear that chilled his mind as he fell asleep each night, the solitude that he had become far too familiar with, the loneliness he believed he deserved.
You did not speak.
You did not breathe as you sank to your knees, joining his deflated form on the ground.
You did not hesitate as you took his wet jaw in both your hands, closed your eyes, and kissed him.
Azriel stiffened. Long, tear-clumped lashes fluttered as he realized your lips were on his, not really believing you were actually kissing him, after his disgraceful, meager excuse of an apology. But only a small moment passed before he released a soft moan, scarred hands coming to grip your chin and lean into your caress, eyes closing and broad, dark wings fluttering. Breathing life itself back into him. He did not dare to break your kiss, would rather suffocate than part with your delectable mouth, those soft lips he had dreamed of, yearned for.
As he savored your kiss, it felt like he was drugging you, like ecstasy itself was seeping into your body from where he touched you, where his mouth connected with yours. You shivered, legs clamping together. Your body wanted him, wanted its mate, wanted the sweet and addictive feeling that he was providing you with to never end.
But you could not forget the manner he had treated you just days ago. You could not move forth without a clean slate, and you intended to get just that.
He had some explaining to do.
Azriel gasped as you pulled away from him, leaning far forward enough as he trailed your departure that he nearly fell into your lap. Honeyed eyes fluttered open and he blinked away the moisture remaining there, trying to clear the lustful fog that had begun to infiltrate his skull with just a simple kiss from his mate. He whispered your name, a breathless prayer, perhaps not even realizing it had slid from his parted mouth.
His gaze followed you like a magnet as you stood, still not uttering a word, and offered him a hand. You helped him up, though he did not use the appendage you offered as physical support… Which was the sole reason you allowed his hand to remain touching yours as you settled facing each other on the velveteen couch, even if the contact made your thoughts considerably harder to direct toward maintaining conversation.
“So…” you cleared your throat, eyes wandering to the beams of moonlight cast upon the marble floor of the balcony. “You know…”
The shadowsinger sat up, schooling his expression and finding his composure. It would have been perfect, could have fooled even you had you not been able to see how his wings still sagged, feel how his fingers gripped onto yours just a pinch tighter.
“I know,” he replied evenly. “I can feel the bond now. I can feel your pull… feel you on the other side… my mate.”
You couldn’t stifle the shudder that went through you when he nearly growled.
Azriel scrutinized you, surely noting how your crossed legs squeezed together underneath the casual linen dress you’d thrown on for dinner. You didn’t trust either of you enough to stay on course when his gaze sizzled into the soft skin of your exposed thighs, so you forced yourself to speak.
“Why did it take you so long?”
You hadn’t meant to say it, at least, not that bluntly. But you’d spoken without thinking, and the first thing off the top of your head had flown out.
Azriel gave you a pained look, like you’d kicked him square in the chest. “I’m sorry to make you wait,” he murmured, his rough thumb sweeping over your knuckles. “I would never intend to make you wait, I know that waiting can be… arduous. Can feel… eternal.”
It was your turn to squeeze his hand. You’d never know how it felt to be alone, not for as long as he had been at least. He had centuries of seclusion on you— waiting for someone whose existence he had eventually written off. Just two measly weeks had you strung out, you couldn’t imagine how he coped through the years. Not that it was exactly the same, but still, it was worth considering.
“I didn’t mean to sound harsh,” you assured, scooting closer to the male. His shoulder almost brushed yours now, and if he sighed, his exhale would move your hair to tickle your collar bone. “I only wish you would tell me what you were thinking. The morning after, you barely said anything. Just that it was a mistake.”
He bristled. “I never said that.” Every word spoken that dreadful morning had been seared into his brain, looping a thousand times over since the moment he had slipped out your door.
“That’s how I heard it, though.”
Azriel looked at you like you had just stabbed yourself, his handsome face aghast. “Y/N–”
“Do you…” you almost whimpered at the fear that pulsed through your heart at your own question, “Do you think this is a mistake?”
It took all but one second for Azriel to scoop you in his arms and press every inch of your torsos together, large hands coming to grip the base of your head at the back of your neck, forcing you to look at him.
“Never,” he hissed, the mere premise making his gaze darken, his shadows lashing out and crackling through your room, swallowing nearly all light. His expression was downright icy, and had he given you such a look for any other reason, you’d be running, tail between your legs. “Though I found the bond just hours ago,” he continued, “not for one second have I thought that. Nor will I ever.”
Sweet validation trickled into your veins. Coupled with his firm, passionate touch, you were melting in his arms. In his big, strong, tattooed arms.
He must have scented your interest, because his pupils floated back behind his eyelids and he groaned, gripping you harder. He ducked into your throat and traced your jaw with the tip of his nose. Your delicate skin was calling to him to be nipped, sucked, claimed. He could even see the ghost of his claim from the last time, barely purple at the base of your neck. It made him rock-hard beneath his leathers.
But he needed to focus, he would not fail you again. His embrace loosened so that you could easily slip back, but you made no move to withdraw from him.
“You said you wished to know what I was thinking,” he said, finding comfort in the way your soft skin felt against his scarred fingertips. It felt right, even if the sight of his unworthy flesh touching yours nearly made him cringe. “If you’d indulge me… I’d like to give you the full story. My story.”
You nodded, giving him your sweetest, most understanding look. It was a look he had received many times before, a look that had made him spill his guts much more than he was comfortable spilling. But somehow, words would continue to tumble out of him, even when he thought he had nothing left to say. When you would give him your undivided attention, and he felt like you really saw him, through his masks, his hard facade, the enigma behind the shadows… You were the only one to make him feel that way in all his centuries, and it was partly because of that recognition just hours ago that he had realized how precious you were to him. When the bond had snapped into place in the center of his chest, he had hurtled from Windhaven swifter than ever, as fast as he could to get back to you.
Sweet herbs tickled the male’s nose as he took a deep breath in attempt to regain his bearings, the medicinal plants that flourished from various pots and flower boxes at your balcony and windows lacing the heavy air. But even that, coupled with the smell of pungent salves and dusty encyclopedias could not hold a flame to the lingering allure of your fresh, dulcet scent. How he found the strength to speak, he did not know.
“For a long time–” Azriel’s voice shook and he swallowed, rattled by such strong emotion, fighting his instincts to push it down, fighting to tell you his truth. His chin dropped to face your lap. His wide torso was rigid with each forced breath, wings tucked tight along the ridge of his shoulder blades. You could sense his growing impatience– how he despised the silence that prolonged as he continued to fail with words, loathed how they did not come to him as naturally as they did his brothers.
“It’s alright, take your time,” you soothed, fingers gently trailing up and down his ink-bound bicep– trying to calm his body, even if his head was still playing catch-up. “We’re in no rush… I’m yours.”
The admission was an immediate reprieve. You could feel the tension dissipate, his shoulders sagging and breaths becoming deeper, filling his lungs once again. His stubbled cheek came to rest upon your shoulder, and you could see how exhausted this poor male was. It reminded you of how a small child would slump after a crying fit, tuckered from their own distress. Your heart nearly broke as you considered that this could quite possibly be the first time anyone had ever held your mate like that at all. You squeezed him just a little tighter, your lip quivering as you attempted to send a wave of love down the bond, unsure if you were doing it right.
Azriel’s body trembled, a shiver going through him as he received your unbridled affection. It was unlike anything he had ever felt before, and he wanted to feel it again. And again, and again. He squeezed you tightly, refusing to look you in the eye, hoping it would make it just a little easier for him to find the courage to say everything he needed to.
“For a long time now…” he began again, taking another breath before continuing, the words barely audible as he whispered them into your hair. “I’ve been… alone.”
His fingers picked at his nails behind your back, never before saying aloud the words that so often floated through his mind.
“I started life alone. I won’t get into the details of my childhood, if you could call it that… but, eventually I found my brothers. And for a time, I was happy. It was just the three of us, and we were only committed to each other– we kept each other occupied, content, fulfilled. Then, there were bigger things at hand– Amarantha’s rein, the war on Hybern...”
You nodded, your arm snaking up along his front so your fingers could wind into his hair, nails softly scraping at his scalp. He preened at that, welcoming your touch, wings stretching and fluttering before draping down once again, relaxed. His shadows curled at your lap, beckoning you further into his embrace. The sensation was like no other– a cool caress that somehow elicited warmth.
“Even before that was over, my brothers, they– They found their mates.” Azriel paused, wondering how this was going to come across. “And I was happy for them– truly. I was happy they had found a higher purpose, a new priority. I was happy for our family to expand, content to be on the sidelines. But… naturally… I started to feel… alone again. It wasn’t as bad as before, not nearly, and yet– even though I was happy for them– I was jealous, too. Jealous, and— at the end of each day— alone. And every time I attempted to find someone to kill that loneliness… it never worked.”
You tried not to scowl at the mention of his previous lovers. You hadn’t known him then, and yet, the mere thought of your mate lying with another made something malicious stir in your bones, a bitter tang invading your mouth.
Azriel knew, of course, nuzzling your throat, and effectively extinguishing any ill feelings that had attempted to surface.
“So I thought that I was destined to be alone. Forever. It made sense, I knew that continuing to hold out hope that I’d find my mate, that I even had one— after everything I’ve done, and… Really, I had just come to accept my sentence of solitude as fact when out of nowhere you walked into our court and everything I had known– everything I had thought I’d known– changed.”
Your heart throbbed. The memory of your eyes raking over his lean, dark physique for the very first time made your body purr, recalling your immediate approval, cheeks tinged with flush.
“Undoubtedly, I was in denial. At first, I tried to act like there was nothing different about you, tried to treat you as I would any other addition to our little… family. I tried. I tried so fucking hard to act normal around you– and yet– every time you gave me that sweet, pretty smile and your eyes crinkled and you looked at me– really looked at me, looked at me like I was whole, like I was worthy– and there was no fear there, just… unspoken, unearned trust— I… I was falling. I was falling so fast and so hard and I knew it and refused to acknowledge it. Then that night, you walked in looking like a— a goddess— just as you do every time when we go out, but this time… I needed to hide my desire more than ever, so I drank. I had far too many drinks, and then you came to me, you pulled me onto the dance floor. I never– never do that, but with you it didn't feel so wrong, I didn’t feel like I needed to put on that front, that mask, and… and then we were in your room and you were kissing me, I was drunk— drunk on you, and touching you felt like touching pure starlight. I was so desperate to just take it all, take everything you would give me that I–”
Azriel shifted slightly, trousers becoming tighter with the recollection. Your eyes were suddenly glued to the ceiling, inspecting the crown-molding there, a mirage of modesty.
“It wasn’t supposed to be like that. It wasn’t what I wanted our first time together to be like, the first time I told you I loved you to be like.”
You flushed– he remembered. And he’d meant it?
“I had this plan, this… fantasy, I suppose, where I would take you to this meadow by the Sidra and confess, and I would lay you down and worship you, and kiss you ‘til we couldn’t breathe, make love to you ‘til we didn’t know where one started and the other began…”
You crossed your legs again, hoping you were sly. You were making such great progress with the shadowsinger, it would be a shame if your blatant arousal were to distract him from his explanation. You weren’t sure if you would ever hear the rest of it if he stopped now, and you didn’t want to take that risk. Pressing your cheek against his in silent affirmation, your fingertips lightly traced the strong sinews of his back.
“But the morning came and I was terrified. I didn’t expect for that to happen, and when you asked if I meant it, if I meant what I said then, if I regretted what we did… I was a coward. I let fear take over and I ran from you, ran from the truth with such disgrace.”
His voice shook with self-loathing, his arms becoming snug around your waist, as if his body wanted to right the wrong he had committed when he ran, when he should’ve held you close to him and told you, showed you, his true feelings.
It was then that he pulled back, those beautiful hazel eyes peering deep into your gaze. There was so much emotion there, so much pain, and regret, and– and love swimming there. There was so much love in the look he was giving you it took your breath away.
“I am so sorry, Y/N. So, so sorry for doing that to you, for being so stupid. I am sorry for hurting you when I swear all I wanted to do was love you, all I should have done was love you. I am sorry… sorry that you have such a spineless mate. I… don’t deserve you… I don’t think I ever will.” Azriel’s gaze dropped from yours, shame overtaking his face as his morose gaze found the floor. His whole body deflated, arms falling from you as he seemed to find truth in his words.
For the first time in your life, Azriel looked small. The 6’5 spymaster, the shadowsinger, perhaps the most powerful Illyrian male there ever was, looked like he had reverted back into the little boy who was left to rot in his cell. Curled into himself and unacquainted with the touch of a gentle hand, his shadows ebbing into the perimeter of his silhouette, his shame and despair near swallowing him.
You lunged for him, throwing yourself into his lap, legs around his waist, arms around his neck. He let out a low huff at the action, hands stuck in midair as he tried to process what you were doing.
“Don’t you ever say that,” you said, voice hard as steel.
Azriel stiffened at your tone, not daring to say another word.
You couldn’t contain the telltale shake of your lungs as you tried to squash your sob, arms wringing tighter around him. “Don’t ever think that,” you cried, wetness hitting the tops of his broad shoulders as tears escaped you. It was impossible to hold it in, the thought of your mate thinking so little of himself upsetting you to the very core. “Please, Az.”
His body finally allowed him to squeeze you back, his embrace anchoring onto you as he realized you wholeheartedly disagreed with his doubts.
“You deserve so much baby,” you said, and sweet pleasure shot through him at the debut of your first pet name for him. “You deserve so much love and I can’t wait to be the one to give it to you.”
You kissed him then and tears gathered along the long, dark lashes that fluttered shut on the sharp plain of his cheeks. Your lips felt so right on his, the kiss desperate and rough but it was everything, conveying just how much you wanted to wash away his pain. You were kissing him, you were kissing him after all he had put you through and you were wrapped around him, in his arms, flush against him. His heart was pounding against his ribs, ready to explode. If he died at this moment it wouldn’t be all that bad.
It was over much too quickly, his mouth trailing after yours when you retreated, your hands coming up to press on the wide, firm pectorals that lay just a layer of leather away. You mirrored each other– panting, tears dripping down both your faces– and he was looking at you like you were the sun, and the moon, and all the stars that glittered in the Night Court sky.
“Don’t ever apologize for how you feel,” you said quietly, looking into his gaze to make sure your words hit home. He nodded barely, eyes still wide and starry. His thumbs came to brush away the wetness littering your cheeks. “Especially not for being scared. Az, fear is part of being alive. I… I was scared too.”
Azriel rushed out another meek apology then, realizing that when you had confronted him that morning, you were probably just as terrified as him. And he had confirmed your fears, he had left you there, breaking and alone. He vowed to himself never to do that to you again.
You hushed him, drying his tears then, “I know. I know, Az. I forgive you, it’s okay.” You took his chiseled jaw in your hand and he leaned into your caress, eyes full of remorse. “The next time you get scared, though, I want you to tell me. I want you to come to me and tell me because if we are going to be together, we face everything together. I know that might be scary, because you’re used to handling things by yourself, but… I’m your mate, Azriel. We are meant to be together and that means we have to communicate and work together, find resolutions together.”
The inky-haired male nodded, eyes sincere and hands firm on your hips. “I can do that,” he confirmed, thinking of how you held him just moments earlier, allowed him to settle down and find his words, how they just started flowing when he had you in front of him, your comforting touch goading them out. He could talk about his feelings if you were the one listening, if you gave him time and support like you had today. “Does that mean… you’ll give me a chance?”
You fell quiet, taking in the man bearing himself before you. In all your time of knowing the Illyrian, you had never seen this side of him so clearly. Here he was; beating heart out in the open, gaze full of pure, untainted love and hope, and promise– promise to love you, and cherish you, kneel to you, give you anything, everything, all of him.
“Of course, Azriel… I love you,” you admitted, watching as a gleaming smile split his lips. He’d never shown you such unbridled joy before— it shook you to your core and you suddenly had the urge to elicit such mirth from the male every chance you could get. “We’re supposed to be together, after all.”
The bond glowed and your chest felt hot at the admission, warmth seeping into your cheeks as scarred hands slid up your sides. His grin faded as his gaze fell to your lips, hunger swirling in those beautiful hazel orbs. “I love you,” he said, pressing a small kiss to the corner of your mouth. “I have loved you for so long, now… This is…,” he kissed the other corner, taking a deep breath and admiring the smell of your skin, “You are unreal.”
Your lips silently parted as he dipped lower, warm mouth skimming down the column of your throat. He traced the mark that still lingered from his efforts the other night, inspecting how the purple melted away into your beautiful skin.
You nearly screamed at him when he pulled back, body desperate for his embrace.
He smirked slightly, seemingly back to the quick-witted spymaster you’d fallen for. Perhaps he could tell just how much you wanted him through the bond— even if technically you had not mated yet. He seemed to share your pain, though— you shifted in his lap and felt the thick length of him beneath you, blood rushing to your cheeks.
“As much as I would enjoy ravishing you immediately,” Azriel said with a twinkle in his eye, “I would request your approval for a short intermission… I would like to… prepare a few things for us.”
Your heart swelled at the thought. Your male wanted to make things perfect— to right the wrongs that had been made before. Besides, you had to find something to feed him so you could play your role, anyway. The thought of completely mating with him made you salivate, gaze flickering over his tanned physique.
“Okay,” you agreed, “just— don’t be long.”
Azriel chuckled and nodded. “Give me twenty minutes, my love.”
He slid you from his lap, your bottom hitting the plush velvet of the sofa once again. The pet name made butterflies unleash in your stomach, and something dark and lustful swirl in your core. “Don’t keep me waiting too long, shadowsinger,” you teased, finger trailing down his jaw.
“I’ll make it ten,” he growled, nipping at the digit before his shadows gathered around him and he vanished from your room.
–
True to his word, your mate appeared on your balcony ten minutes later.
Azriel was not at all out of breath, an even calm precisely conjured on his handsome face. His gaze devoured you as you walked over to him, eyeing the small pouch you had slung over your shoulder with intrigue. Little did he know that he would find things much more interesting beneath your linen dress… a disguise of your own.
Large, warm hands found your hips as you seamlessly slid into his open arms. It felt so cozy being flush against your male’s firm chest, his capable arms fastening you into him as his shadows wrapped around the both of you. You laughed as they stroked your cheeks, playing with the ends of your hair and distracting you as they carried the two of you to wherever your destination may be.
The shadowsinger smiled fondly at the sight– you, his beautiful, ethereal mate giggling happily, and his shadows, absolutely as infatuated with you as he was himself.
Just like that, you had arrived.
The shadows snuck away into the whispering blades of grass that washed your calves, moonlight pouring out into the open field without restraint. Tall, spindly trees dotted the far corners of the meadow, and milky wildflowers dotted every inch of the grass around you, mixing a sweet tinge into the otherwise pleasant summer breeze. The spot you were standing in was on a small summit overlooking the mouth of the Sidra, emptying into the star-sparkled sea. The sight of such gorgeous, natural scenery took your breath away.
“Gods,” you breathed, attempting to let the glory of it soak in. “This view… it’s… beautiful.”
Azriel stood quietly behind you, observing your wonder as a shadow climbed up his leg and deposited a particularly perfect wildflower into his hand. “Exquisite,” he concurred, admiring the way the moonlight lit your pretty face.
You turned to him and he smiled, tucking the blossom behind your ear, caressing the corner of your face. You were almost lost in the warm emotion that glowed in his eyes, but flickering lights behind him captured your attention.
A picnic of sorts laid ready on the grass there, a large, thick duvet covering ample room beneath the sole tree that dared to break the sanctity of the meadow, right at the highest point of the cliff. An array of fluffy throws and plush pillows sat in a pile on one side, candles winking with charmed flame.
“Oh, Azriel…” you murmured, taking a step around his tall figure and studying what would surely be your mating bed. It was just as you had pictured it, even as brief as his mention of his fantasy had been. “This is…” you glanced back at him, noting the way the male almost appeared bashful at your awe, “... perfect.”
He smiled at your approval, meeting you at the edge of the blanket. “You are perfect,” he said, honesty swimming in his gaze. Warmth crawled through your veins as his hands circled your waist, pulling you against him. You went without a fight, allowing him to hold you up when your legs nearly gave out at his proximity. “You are…” a kiss to your jaw, greedily inhaling your scent, “... pure…” a kiss to your neck, a taste of your skin, “... perfection.”
You fell backwards then, prepared to hit the ground, but your mate would never allow it. With a strong flap of his wings, Azriel cushioned the fall, and you gently met the plushness beneath you, with him braced on top of you, lips nibbling your clavicle.
His name floated from your mouth, heat once again gathering between your legs. It was unfair how visibly hot he was– ruffled, onyx hair falling into his scorching golden eyes, plush, pouty lip bitten as he examined you beneath him, his hard, wide body so strong, unwavering, as if he could maintain this push-up position without tire, effortlessly. You wondered just what his body was capable of, exactly…
The scent of your curiosity wafted onto him and he smirked, taking a long whiff of it. He looked at you, sin dancing in that amused gaze. “Please tell me you brought something for me to eat,” he said, voice gruff. It seemed he was wearing thin on patience, too. His eyes darted down to the spot between your legs, then back to you with a wicked glint. “Besides that delectable little cunt of yours, I mean.” Yep– definitely low on patience.
Flames nearly danced across your cheeks, shocked at the foul mouth that had suddenly appeared on him. You let your jaw drop for a few seconds, watching the clear amusement in his features before you fumbled for the small bag you had brought with you.
Honey irises analyzed your hand as it disappeared inside, then locking onto the small confection that your resurfaced palm offered. It was then that his form trembled above you, as if the reality of the situation was just now hitting him. He swallowed, breathing hard. The two of you moved upright in unison, sitting facing each other with your thighs barely touching. His gaze was fire on the tiny treat in your hand, so intense you half expected it to ignite and disintegrate, float away into the wind.
Stretching your arms out now, you cupped the piece of cake with both palms, pushing it toward your male. Emotion flooded his face then, as he looked between you and your offering, scarred fingers clenched into the leathers covering his strapping thighs. “For you, Azriel,” you whispered, heart beating loudly, battering your ribs. “My body, my heart… They are yours. I give myself to you… my mate.”
You looked at him and truly felt weightless as he grinned at you, bright teeth showing and syrupy gaze regarding you. Weathered hands enveloped yours, dwarfing them, bringing the comically small cake to his lips. His eyes did not leave yours as he made quick work of the sweet– one, two bites and he swallowed. You watched, entranced as his tongue ran along the seam of his mouth, gathering up the bit of frosting that had escaped there.
When your gaze finally met his again, you nearly moaned.
Something savage lurked in his eye now, a hunger that he had not known he could possess overtaking every instinct of his. Gone was the charade of indifference, gone were the measured looks and the disguised longing. Everything was outright now, everything was written right there on his face. He couldn’t pretend any longer, not when you had just professed yourself as his, his mate. Not when you had proclaimed yourself as his, not when you had just accepted your bond. He pounced.
Within sheer seconds, you were on your back, Azriel’s mouth claiming yours. His lips dominated yours, hands scouring the contours of your curves. The sugary taste of the cake invaded your mouth as his tongue took command of yours, swirling together in a rugged dance, slick with spit and lust. The feeling of his body brushing against yours sent your eyes rolling back, the hardness of his body paired with the hardness along his thigh overwhelming you.
You wanted him so bad– and knowing the desire was mutual made your insides twist, your heart thrumming. As if he could read your exact thoughts, your mate pushed his erection against the soft spot between your legs, your flimsy dress pushing up to gather around your hips.
Azriel snarled, lips finally breaking from yours as he caught sight of the navy bit of lace covering your most intimate parts. You gasped, hips bucking up to catch against his clothed cock again, displaying more of the scandalous lingerie to your male. He groaned, throwing his head back, unbelieving you were really his, that you would allow him to do as he pleased to your dreamy body.
You moaned into each other’s mouths as he leaned down to kiss you again, scarred hands coming to sink into both your ass cheeks, pulling them apart to swallow more sparkling lace. The cloth felt tight against your slickening pussy, his movement making you clench with trepidation. The aroma of your arousal mixed with his and weighed heavy in the air, intoxicating you with every breath. He smelled musky, woodsy cedar and night-chilled mist turned darker, more potent and alluring– easily your new favorite scent.
The shadowsinger pulled back to catch his breath, gaze raking over your body. Deft fingers moved to undo the buckles and straps across his chest, the leathers falling off to gather on the ground behind him. Your mouth watered as you took in the tanned skin of his broad chest. Tattoos flourished all along his sides, bleeding into the broad planes of muscle on his pecs and shackling his toned biceps and forearms. You reached up and traced a ghostly white scar trailing down his abdomen, following it down to the thin trail that disappeared beneath the waist of his pants. Your male flexed for you, savoring the blatant approval in your gaze, the tease of your fingernails on his caramel complexion.
A yelp of surprise sounded from you when he summoned his shadows, a smirk on those pink, full lips that were slightly bruised from your kiss. You could only watch as the murky shadows washed over your dress then, and in their wake, your naked skin was revealed to your mate’s frenzied gaze, his blue siphons glowing with the subtle use of his magic. Your strappy, lacy lingerie set was exposed entirely now, and heat rose to your cheeks as you watched him take in your body, searing the image into his brain.
Thick fingers landed on your ribs and you flinched as they trailed upwards, his hand cupping one of your breasts through the thin mesh and thumbing over the intricate embroidery there. Mere seconds passed before both your nipples were stiff and aching for his attention.
“Az,” you cried as he pulled the lace down and your breast spilled out, his tongue immediately greeting the hard bud and sucking it into his mouth. His other hand came to massage the other side of your chest, pinching the nipple between two fingers through the mesh. Small noises of pleasure slithered out of you naturally, broken gasps and whines spilling from your lips without thought.
Azriel swore, gently biting at you and marveling at how your spine bowed for him. He flattened his tongue against you and kissed your soft skin, tugging the lingerie down to lay across your ribs, exposing your chest to him. He sucked marks into the heavy underside of both your tits, taking his time. One hand came to hold your thighs open and squeeze the plush flesh there, trimmed fingernails digging into you in a delightful ghost of pain.
Your hand flew out on its own accord, knowing exactly where to go and gripping onto the base of his thick, hard cock. The Illyrian gasped, the sound eliciting a criminal thrill from deep within you. You squeezed him through his leathers, and he bared his teeth at you, scraping them over your chest.
Even though you had technically already been acquainted with each other’s body, this felt different– new. It was as if… every touch, you could feel the pleasure from both ends of the bond; that much more heightened.
Abruptly he slid south, leaving you panting, your touch lost from his throbbing length. He did not waste time; immediately placing his mouth on the inside of your thigh and bruising the skin there with ease. He sucked hard, teeth marrying your flesh while you cried for him. He closed his eyes as your fingers wove into his hair, mouthing over the scrap of cloth that covered your weeping cunt, sampling the sweet nectar that leaked from you, just for him.
Words eluded you, pure pleasure pulsing through every inch of you as he pulled the material to the side and licked through your folds. He groaned, the noise vibrating through your wetness before he dove in, sucking you into his mouth and laving his tongue up and down your slit– up your clit, then back down and twirling your quivering hole, then repeating.
You whimpered when you took in the sight of your large male, completely worshiping you and enjoying every second of it– he was rutting his leather-bound cock against a pillow he had trapped beneath his hips, dark wings looming over his shoulders as they twitched with excitement. You made eye contact with him and there was primality in his gaze as he consumed you. Your feet hooked over his shoulders, putting your pussy right onto his face and bucking your hips, not caring if you missed his mouth.
Azriel moaned, loving the provocative spiral you were descending into, loving that he was able to be the one to take you there. He was so focused on working his tongue against you that he didn’t register your feet wandering up to the crest of his wings, not until your toes dragged down the sensitive skin there and he whimpered into your pussy, his entirety trembling. He sat back to softly snarl at you– no one had touched his wings since… ever. It was a boundary he did not know he so desperately wanted you to break, satisfaction leaking deep into his core.
But he didn’t have a second to spare to question it, because you were throwing your head back and whining, begging, “Please don’t stop, Az.”
So he didn’t. He put his head down and ate your cunt mercilessly, just like you’d requested, savoring every drop of your essence. You allowed yourself to be lost in the pleasure, head tilting back and exposing your throat to the night sky. You opened your eyes and took in the sight of the upside-down sea, stars twinkling brightly in your entire field of vision, your male relishing your taste as he eagerly worked for your pleasure.
Your body spasmed when two thick fingertips wandered up your thigh and prodded your sopping entrance. One slid in with ease and your eyes widened at the stretch– equal to at least two of your own digits. However, unlike yours, his finger reached deep, curling into a sensitive spot that had you shaking, as if he had a map and could follow directions with immediate mastery. You tried to moan his name but he stole the breath from you, a second finger pushing in and his tongue returning to your swollen clit. His calloused fingertips stroked that spot as he pumped them into you with hard, slow precision, curling as they disappeared all the way inside and making your eyes cross beneath your lids.
You couldn’t even focus on touching his wings to extract more delicious moans from him, your brain melting and the inferno growing in your belly. Fingers gripped his soft black hair with urgency, the shake of your thighs around his head worsening as you pleaded, moaned, and cried, “Oh Gods– oh, fuck– yes!”
Just as you were teetering the cusp of an orgasm, the shadowsinger pulled back. You screamed a swear, shooting up onto your elbows and sending the male a glare full of betrayal. Your mate only smirked up at you, though he himself was panting, gaze laden with lust. He wiped the bottom of his face from the sheen of slick that blanketed it with the back of his strong forearm, then gave his bronze, inked skin a long lick as he held your gaze. Right when you were about to give him a piece of your– albeit melted– mind, nimble fingers went to undo the clasp of his leathers beneath his toned stomach.
Words died in your mouth as you followed the revealed lines of his pronounced Adonis belt, his fingers pushing the clothing right down his middle, just over that dark, fine trail that led down, down, down… Until the hard, dark length of him popped out from its confines and you could nearly guarantee your eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. You barely noted the shadows that removed the rest of his clothes, looking over your mate in all his naked glory before you.
Azriel did not shy away from your gawking, enjoying how your eyes roved over every inch of him– examining his body, then his manhood, then somewhere else, but always returning to his sizable cock standing tall and proud before you. In all his centuries, it was the one part of him that he had been able to take undeniable pride in… he loved that he was able to bring that to the table for you. Partly because he knew how good he could make you feel, but also just so that he could garner such a reaction from you.
You were only able to tear your eyes away from your mate when his shadows came to swirl across your body again, devouring the remaining lace and mesh until you, too, were completely bare before your mate. The thought made you just a bit self-conscious, but the look Azriel was giving you made your insides burn, approval pounding down the bond. The bond that would– in just a matter of minutes– be completely forged.
Your male moved toward you and you sat up on your elbows, breasts sitting perfectly for him to admire. He came nearer, leaning down onto his hands and knees, his half-lidded gaze scanning your lips before he looked at you again, pure desire in his eyes.
At this point, your wetness was dripping down your thighs, and you knew that nothing but his cock could alleviate the burning in your core. Reaching a tentative hand forward, you both watched as your fingers clasped around his width, your fingertips and your thumb just touching. You swallowed at the sheer size of him, thumbing over the rosy tip where his precum had begun to leak out of him.
Azriel let out a harsh breath, his hips stuttering as you jerked him experimentally. The sight of your little hand wrapped around his tan, solid cock had him biting his lip, a soft growl rumbling in the depths of his chest. You ran a finger down the thick vein spanning the underside of him, and when his length jerked in response, you moaned– imagining how it would feel doing so, while buried balls-deep inside of you.
You tried to wiggle down the satin comforter so you could get a taste of that heavenly cock, but Azriel pinned your body down with his, the sheer size of him dominating your movement effortlessly. Ecstasy shot through you at the amount of golden skin pressing against you, the contact unlike anything you’d experienced before.
“Dirty girl, trying to suck my cock…,” he crooned, molten gaze like hot molasses on your face. You could feel every inch he studied of your naked skin, the wake of it slow and burning, singing from his inspection and the brazen approval that shot down the bond.
You huffed indignantly, wanting to quiz why he could taste you, but would not allow you the same pleasure.
The Illyrian hummed, detecting the fight in your eye, before he skimmed his hand down your front, fingers dipping into the evidence of your desire and swirling against your opening slowly. “If you put your mouth on my cock– Cauldron boil me, I’ll come right down your throat,” he murmured, spreading your slick onto every crevice of your core. “And though I may indulge in that later… right now, ‘m too keen to feel your pretty pussy on me.”
His admission naturally made your legs spread, his heavy cock resting just inches from your entrance, huge and glistening, calling to you. “Please,” you whimpered pitifully, embarrassment licking your cheeks. Was he going to make you beg for him? You could barely stand the wait, your core pulsing with the need to be taken by him, by your mate.
“Would you like that, angel? You want to have my cock inside of you? My greedy little mate…” he purred, eyelids heavy with lust.
You panted, realizing your truest desire then, summoning all your strength to give him your sweetest doe eyes, meekly squeak out, “I’m all yours, please I need it– need your cock stretching my– my pussy out. Need you, need my mate.”
Hazel caught aflame in the depths of his measured disguise. His chiseled body was still, taut with suspense, and then he snapped as he pinned your wrists to the duvet beside your head. Muscled thighs flicked yours open to land around his waist with ease, your primal, Illyrian male settling into his rightful place between them. Your hips lifted in a feeble attempt to coax him further, figure shaking with need– your core aching, twitching with it.
There was something feral about his groan as the warm underside of his tip slipped between your folds. You both watched, his length slicing through the slick dripping from your cunt. The sound of it was so erotic that you nearly came, eyes rolling back as the entirety of him just went on and on.
You couldn’t think– couldn’t bear it anymore as you pleaded, “Please, Azriel, I need you.”
Billowing navy shadows crawled onto the duvet then, and you gaped as the tendrils washed across your hips, twirling around his cock and guiding it perfectly to your entrance.
Tossing your head back into the satin pillow, you cried, overwhelmed when he sheathed inside of you like a blistering knife through warm butter– effortless. He was so– so big, but it did not hurt, not badly anyway– it was… it was transforming the way your pussy took him like lock and key; an indescribably, irrefutably perfect fit.
Azriel seemed to be sharing the sentiment, panting as he stared at you, his knuckles turned pale around your wrists. “Y/N,” he choked, his whole body shuddering at the bliss that leaked through his bones, emanating from where your body swallowed his, “I love you.”
You shared a shallow gasp when he pulled out, watching with a long moan as he pushed back in, reaching deeper into your core, your soul. You cried, clenching onto him as your heart felt like it was about to burst. “Az, I– I love you, too. I love you, Azriel.”
He didn’t have to think; his body knew exactly what you both needed. Another couple shallow thrusts had you breathless, struggling against his grip as his cock dragged against your fluttering walls. The girth of him was breaking your mind– each time your body involuntarily clenched onto his cock, the most sensitive, deepest part of you rubbed against the very tip of him, sending waves of bliss down your spine.
“Gods–” you managed to gasp out as he dropped down onto an elbow, hands sliding to secure around the back of your neck and your waist. His hips began to find their rhythm, heavy balls slapping flush against your ass.
Your heart, your pussy, they had both never been so full– almost aglow with the passion and validation they were both being showered with. You felt like you were whole, like there was no room in your body for any anxiety, nor torment, nothing but him.
Even as the cool summer breeze tickled your skin, everything was warm. Your cheeks, your breasts, your stomach, your thighs– everywhere he had kissed and licked burned with the memory. And he burned, too, his skin ablaze beneath your fingertips that scratched into broad shoulders. The both of you were on fire as your bodies became one, sweat dripping and skin bruising. The shadowsinger held a steady pace, sheathing so deep that the lewd sound of your skins slapping together filled the otherwise sleepy meadow– along with your chorus of moans, of course.
Tension collected in your core with each powerful thrust, your toes curling into the satin and tears dotting your lashes. His fingers gripped the hair at the nape of your neck and you whined as you met his intense gaze. You didn’t have to speak– the bond was throbbing in both your chests, on the precipice of complete formation– radiating warmth and love and passion into both your systems. He gave you his cock and his heart and you took it, cunt wringing tighter– tighter with every swing of those strong hips against yours, giving every piece of you to him in exchange.
A muffled noise left you as that telltale feeling in your center heightened, your mate gasping, hips faltering and abs straining, wings flapping. You both tensed, fingers digging into one another, foreheads pressed together as you breathed simultaneously–
“I’m–”
“Coming–”
And that band in your stomachs snapped, satisfaction imploding and euphoria surging in its wake. The bond rippled through you both and intensified everything, the edges of your minds reaching out and coiling together.
You felt him, felt Azriel, your mate, there inside your head, your heart. His ecstasy ebbed into yours and you drowned in the expanse of it, milking his cock as though your life depended on it. And he, too, was lost in the throes of your orgasms, his cock shooting ribbon after ribbon of his sweet seed into the depths of your womb, moaning and shaking as he grappled onto you, filling your core to the brim with him.
It took a long while for the pair of you to cease your uncontrollable trembling, your breathing still ragged and your head cloudy with the haze of lust, bliss, and a new mental connection poking you, inspecting. Azriel slowly moved to lay on his side, allowing the breeze to cool your sweat-slicked skins as he held you flush against him, still inside of you.
Ink appeared glossy in the starlight on his caramel skin, and you traced the swirls that intertwined on his chest while studying him. You reached out in your mind, a hand waving through the murky darkness, searching, following the guide of the golden, glowing thread– and there was his scarred, rough hand grasping you and sending a dose of affection right into you. You sighed softly, shivering and clutching onto your mate. Azriel made a comparable noise of content, kissing the top of your head and wrapping a massive wing around the pair of you.
Hi, you tested, thinking the word with utmost concentration.
Your mate chuckled, the low rumble vibrating against your head. Hello, my love, was his lazy reply. Rough fingertips coasted along the knobs of your spine, his foot curling around yours, wanting to be as close as possible.
You nuzzled into his strong neck, admiring how his strong, male scent now was slightly perfumed with yours, knowing that though now it was reeking because of your sex, once you washed, it would remain– mated. You hummed, placing an open-mouth kiss there, eying where you should place your next love bite. The considerable army of them you had already created made you smirk and your cunt clench onto his cock, eyes widening.
…You’re still hard?
Another chuckle.
Did you think we were finished?
Heat crept back into your cheeks. You thought about all the mated couples you’d come to know, and how they all blushed and fondly recalled the… frenzy.
I suppose we have a long night ahead of us, shadowsinger…
Azriel pulled back to look at you, many emotions flickering in those honeyed eyes as he appraised you. The love in them was outright, happiness overt, and desire overwhelming.
You don’t even know, angel. We have a very long night ahead of us… after that, a long, ravenous week, and… after that… Well, let’s just say, I plan to ravish you for as long as you will have me.
Your smirk melted into a smile, planting a kiss on his stubbled cheek, then reaching out and trailing your nails over the sensitive membrane of his wing. Your mate shuddered, cock jolting and stirring your insides.
You do have some time to make up for, you shot him a sensuous wink, taking him by surprise and rolling him onto his back, perched on his lap. You savored the sight of your devastatingly-handsome mate beneath you, Azriel’s torrid gaze devouring your visage from below. Though I can’t let you have all the fun.
Heavy hands found your hips and squeezed, that signature smirk coming to rest on his lips once more. You jumped as cool tendrils of shadow flooded your limbs, clasping onto you and dragging you off of him, forcing your body to bend onto your hands and knees, giving him a perfect view of his cum dripping from your pussy and down your soft thigh. The shadows seemed to laugh in your ear as they took hold of you, rendering you immobile before your male. You could only watch as they turned your head to look at him over your shoulder.
Azriel grinned, savage gaze glimmering with mischief as the tickle of darkness flicked over your nipples and parted your legs, wandering up in ghostly licks to stroke and tease your exposed cunt. Your jaw dropped as you realized you had no clue of the true extent of your filthy mate’s capabilities, not at all as his shadows snuck inside of you, exploring where his cock had just been.
Don’t worry, my pretty girl… I know how to share…
𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘣𝘦𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘤 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘶𝘭𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘶𝘭𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘤 𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘮 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘦𝘮𝘉𝘈𝘙𝘙𝘈𝘚𝘚𝘌𝘋 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘮𝘨. 𝘈𝘯𝘺𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘪-𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 <3
#azriel x you#azriel x female!reader#azriel x reader#azriel smut#azriel fluff#azriel angst#acotar x reader#acotar x you#acotar fanfiction#acotar angst#acotar smut#acotar fluff#azriel shadowsinger#angelshadowsinger#StBT series
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