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whump-card · 6 months

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This Death That I Chose: Chapter 8

2862 words

CW: dubcon (not explicitly described), conditioning, derogatory language, manipulation, dubcon kiss, panic attack, derogatory tattoo, pet whump

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~~~

Sex with Vic was strange. He moved carefully, like Lark was some kind of fragile object. He was deeply mindful of Lark’s broken arm, and the IV antibiotics in the other. He used a condom, stolen from Faye’s supplies. He plied Lark open slowly, and it barely even hurt when he pushed himself in. In the end Lark found that an orgasm came easily to him, rather than being something he had to drag out of his body like a rotten tooth.

Lark almost enjoyed it. It scared him.

Vic left in a hurry after the act, guilt written all over his face. Good. He’d eventually turn on Lark to absolve himself of the blame. He was replaced by Hannah, who sauntered back in with her books, none the wiser. After Faye checked in on them at lunchtime, Lark tested the waters with Hannah as well. It couldn’t just be one person; one person fucking Lark was that person’s mistake, Lark needed to tempt multiple people to bed in order to prove that he was a foul, corrupting influence.

Unfortunately Hannah started gushing about her girlfriend as soon as Lark brought up relationships, so he fell silent and let her gush. He’d also preemptively struck Becca and Faye off his list; Becca was a barely-disguised bleeding heart, and Faye was too strictly professional.

Tao was a whole other puzzle. Despite reminding Lark so strongly of the Commander, he seemed to have zero interest in Lark’s body. That was… confusing. Lark didn’t like it.

But as long as the Watchmen keeping guard at his bedside changed every eight or so hours, he’d have an influx of new targets and plenty of time to work them. He just hoped none of them made him feel as strange as Vic had.

~~~

Tao ran into Marina on his way to check on Karlo that evening. They met at the end of Faye’s driveway, each carrying a bundle of cloth.

“I brought Karlo a change of clothes,” Tao lifted his bundle.

“So did I,” Marina smiled sheepishly.

Tao shrugged. “He can mix and match.”

Marina laughed brightly, but it quickly faded into a nervous silence.

“…Do you think I could try seeing him again?” she asked, “This morning was – I’ll handle it better, now.”

“Yeah, of course,” Tao nodded, “Do you want me to come in with you?”

“Oh,” she blinked at him, “Yes. Yes, if you wouldn’t mind.”

They entered the building and walked up to Karlo’s room together. Marina knocked, and waited until Hannah called, “Come in!” to enter.

They found Karlo sitting up with a book open in his lap, mimicking Hannah in the chair next to him. His eyes caught his mother’s for the briefest of moments before he looked away, stone-faced.

“Oh, are you reading?” Marina asked softly.

When it was clear Karlo wasn’t going to answer, Hannah piped up. “Yeah, I brought him something. I figured it’d get boring, stuck in here all day.”

“Thanks, Hannah,” Tao said, “You can take a break.”

She checked a cracked but functional watch on her wrist. “Dylan will be here in a minute anyway, I’ll just take off. G’night, Lark.”

She stood, and as she passed Tao he said quietly, “His name is Karlo.”

She hesitated.

“Not according to him.”

Once Hannah was gone, Marina took her place at Karlo’s bedside after setting her and Tao’s combined stack of clothes on the end of the bed. Tao leaned against the doorframe, watching.

“Tao and I brought you some things.”

No response. Karlo stared down at the open book, his eyes unmoving.

“What’s your book about?”

Nothing. Not even a blink.

“Well, I spent all day cooking for everyone. That’s my job, here, I cook.” She knitted and unknitted her hands together in her lap. “Karlo-”

“My name is Lark.” Hissed out like a curse.

Tao caught it: there was the tiniest waver in Karlo’s voice. He was sure Marina heard it too. She swallowed.

“Lark, then,” she yielded, “I-”

“I want to go home.”

Marina took in a shuddering breath. “Oh, baby-”

“To the Commander,” Karlo clarified, “I want to go home to the Commander.”

“Ka- Lark, honey, I don’t understand-”

“Then I’ll tell you.” Karlo’s eye flashed with some kind of mania as he almost – almost – looked at Tao. “I – I am – I am the Commander’s pet,” he drew himself up straighter, forcing out the words, “I’m his whore. I give him everything he wants. I’m not your son. I don’t belong here.”

Horror and gut-wrenching pity tore through Tao. Karlo truly believed he needed to be returned to the Commander – but that didn’t stop the shame of admitting what the Commander had turned him into. As adeptly as Karlo could control his posture, his face, and his voice, there were some things he couldn’t control. A bright red flush crept up his neck and flooded his face as he spoke, as it had when Tao saw his tattoos. His good hand trembled in his lap.

Tao’s eyes flicked to watch Marina; one hand had lifted out of her lap as if to reach out to Karlo, but she thought better of it. She touched her hand to her mouth, then dropped it; then, her voice came out unexpectedly strong.

“Well, you’re here now, whether you like it or not, young man, and here you will stay. You’ll go back to the Commander over my dead body.” She stood up. “Change your clothes, God knows how long you’ve been wearing those.” She turned on her heel and marched over to Tao, her face crumpling as she approached.

“I don’t know…” she breathed when they were toe-to-toe. Tao squeezed her arm.

“It’s okay,” was all he said.

That seemed to fortify her. She cleared her throat and said over her shoulder, “Goodnight, Lark,” and fled the room.

Tao watched her go, then stepped fully into the room and closed the door.

“I’m going to wait with you until Dylan gets here to make sure you don’t hurt yourself, alright?”

Karlo had turned his head to glare out the darkening window.

“Whatever,” he muttered.

Whatever? Tao wanted to shout back. He wanted to tell Karlo off for talking to Marina like that, wanted to get some straight answers out of the boy about what he was actually feeling. But Karlo’s shoulders were quivering, and his chest rose and fell too fast. Tao bit his tongue.

They remained in silence for a long minute, Tao shifting from foot to foot by the door and Karlo slowly calming down. Eventually, the boy spoke in a low, icy voice.

“He’ll still kill you to get me back, even if you leave this place.”

“Well, you know what?” Tao replied, “Coms has been listening, and we’ve heard nothing from him. If he really wants you back, he has a funny way of showing it.”

Karlo started to respond, but the door opened without warning.

“Hey Tao!” Dylan, a wiry young man, stopped short in the doorway, “Here for babysitting duty.”

“Right, yeah, um-” Tao bobbed his head, thrown off by Dylan’s sudden appearance. “Okay.”

“Did I interrupt something?” Dylan looked back and forth between Tao and Karlo curiously.

“No, it’s fine, just, uh… Don’t let him out of the room except for the bathroom, got it?”

“Got it, boss.”

“Okay,” Tao looked back at Karlo where he sat in the bed, suddenly looking very small. “Goodnight, Karlo.”

When he got no response, Tao reluctantly shuffled past Dylan out into the hallway, where he took a deep, instinctual breath as if he’d just been diving underwater, searching and grasping for an object lost.

Becca estimated that they’d be able to leave the following night, as long as everything went smoothly. The sooner they got on the move, the sooner Karlo would understand that he was safe. Tao had to believe that.

~~~

“Y’know, I was one of the ones who cracked the transport info, about you,” Dylan smirked at Lark from where he lounged in the chair at Lark’s bedside, “I know what you are.”

Lark tilted his head.

“That makes this so much easier, then,” he murmured.

“Whatcha say?”

Lark took a slow, controlled breath. This was the plan he’d decided on. This was the plan he’d already started. This was the plan he had to go through with.

“Can you… help me change clothes, sir?” Lark asked, putting on his best sweet-and-timid voice, “It’s just, it’s sooo hard with this cast, to get things on and off.” He lifted his broken arm slightly to illustrate his point.

Dylan’s slanted smile widened, and his eyes glinted with unabashed lust.

“Sure.”

Something surged through Lark’s veins, and it took him a moment to identify it as power. Lark had never before been able to pick and choose when and with whom he had sex, and here he was, playing these men like a fiddle. Lark was the one in control now. His beauty and allure made him the dominant one.

He was going to bring as many people as he could to shame and ruin. Then they’d have to get rid of him.

They’d have to send him back.

~~~

“Hey, Tao!”

Tao paused halfway down Faye’s driveway and turned to see the surgeon sanding on her front step.

“Yeah?” he called, starting back towards her.

“Did you steal condoms?” she asked loudly.

“What?” Tao glanced over his shoulder, making sure Marina wasn’t still lingering around. He jogged up to Faye, lowering his voice. “No, why would I steal them when you just give them away? And what do you care if someone snagged a couple?”

“Well, one, it fucks up my inventory, and two…” she hesitated, which was out of character for her. Tao frowned.

“What?” he repeated, concerned this time.

She folded her arms and drummed her fingers on her elbow.

“Vic was the only other one who had an opportunity,” she said quietly, “He came downstairs and then went back up, while I was out of the room. I didn’t think anything of it at the time.”

“So Vic stole condoms, what does that matter?” Tao huffed.

“Well, a half hour later he left early.”

“And?” Tao shrugged, getting annoyed.

“God, you’re thick!” she threw up her hands, “I think he fucked Karlo!”

“Holy shit, why would Vic f- Why would he do that?” Tao couldn’t bring himself to echo Faye’s vulgar language.

“Because if he had literally any other hookup going on, he would be crowing from the rooftops about it, which is exactly why he gets none and is a desperate horny bastard, Tao!”

Tao froze in shock. Faye was right. The last few times Vic had found willing partners, he’d bragged about it for days leading up to the event and weeks afterward, absolutely destroying the chance of a repeat experience; but Tao knew from that very boasting that Vic was not someone who would ever be interested in an unenthusiastic lover, much less an unwilling one. Tao couldn’t imagine Vic forcing himself on Karlo, not in a million years.

But suddenly, what Tao could imagine was Karlo doing whatever it took to prove himself right.

I’m a whore.

I don’t belong here.

Tao jumped up the steps, brushed past Faye and ran inside. He bounded up the stairs two at a time to the second floor, and flung open Karlo’s door.

Dylan sat on the bed, and Karlo straddled his lap. Karlo cradled Dylan’s face in his good hand, and the other rested in its cast on Dylan’s shoulder. Dylan jerked his head back out of a kiss as the door opened. They were both shirtless, and Tao saw the tattooed lines of text on Karlo snake out of his pants at his hips and arc over his ribs before meeting at the top of his spine, where the words encircled his neck in a permanent collar, previously hidden by Karlo’s turtleneck shirt and his long hair, now pulled aside.

“What the fuck?” Tao shouted.

Karlo turned his head to look at Tao, his eyes burning with a kind of crazed energy and his mouth stretched into the imitation of a smile, slightly pink from kissing. He laughed – the first time Tao had ever heard him laugh, and it was a strange, strangled noise – and he said, “Would you like to join us, Tao?” It sounded more like a threat than an invitation.

Dylan, on the other hand, had a much more appropriate oh shit expression on his face. He roughly shoved Karlo, who fell and landed hard on his back with a whump.

“What the fuck!” Tao yelled again, rushing forward and dropping to his knees at Karlo’s side. The boy hadn’t even winced, he just lay on the floor, grinning.

Dylan jumped to his feet.

“I didn’t mean to, I, I-”

“Put your fucking shirt on and go wait for me downstairs,” snapped Tao.

Dylan snatched up his t-shirt and made a run for it, nearly trampling Faye in his hurry. She cursed as she watched Tao help Karlo sit up.

“Of course he pulled out his IV, too. You know you need that if you’re ever going to get better?”

“Not helping, Faye.” Tao kept one hand firmly on Karlo’s back, and with the other he reached into the stack of clothes that still sat on the bed and pulled out something familiar – one of his own flannel shirts, definitely too big for Karlo but the sleeves were wide enough that the cast wouldn’t give him any trouble.

“Here, let’s put this on.”

But Karlo was looking at him with the same unsettling, manic smile.

“You’ll send me back now, right?” He shifted onto his knees to face Tao. “You have to send me back now.”

“No.” Tao held the shirt open. “Arm.”

“No, no, I…” Karlo gulped, his breathing becoming erratic, “I proved it, I showed you, I’m a whore, I need to go back to the Commander now.”

Tao lowered the shirt. “We’re not doing that-”

“No, please, you don’t want me here,” Karlo shook his head fervently, his smile gone, “I fucked your friend, I fucked Vic, I’ll, I’ll fuck anything that moves, you don’t want me here, I’ll ruin everything.”

“We want you here, Karlo,” said Tao gently.

“My name is Lark!” Karlo raised his voice, hugging his cast to his body, his eyes welling up, “And why would you even want me here, you don’t even want to fuck me! That’s all I'm good for anyway!”

“You deserve to be safe, Karlo,” Tao asserted.

“No I don't!” Karlo screamed, and the tears overflowed. He sobbed, then turned his head sharply to the side, eyes wide, like he was seeing something that wasn’t there. Then he folded forward over his knees, slamming his head into the floor and awkwardly clasping his hands together in front of him around the cast. Now that he had started crying, it was like the floodgates had opened, and he sobbed and babbled uncontrollably.

“Please, please, sir, please, you have to send me back, I don’t want my mom to die, I don’t want my mom to die, please, oh my God, please, you have to send me back-”

Tao sat frozen as Karlo wept, temporarily paralyzed by shock and horror, until he found himself moving as if by instinct. He threw the shirt around Karlo’s bare shoulders, sat him upright, and pulled him into a crushingly tight hug, until he was practically sitting on Tao’s lap. Karlo collapsed against Tao’s chest, wailing full-throated into the older man’s shoulder. Tao held onto him for dear life, rocking him back and forth and whispering words into Karlo’s hair that he didn’t know the origin of.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay, it's going to be okay, you’re safe here, nothing’s going to hurt you anymore. Shh, I’ve got you, I’ve got you. Everything’s going to be okay.”

He lifted his head, pausing his affirmations.

“Faye, can you get Marina?”

She nodded and slipped out, but Karlo struggled in Tao’s grasp.

“No, wait, I don’t want her to see me, I don’t want her to see…” He sobbed, clawing at the tattoo around his neck. This close, Tao could see the words.

I AM A GOOD PET. I DO NOT THINK. I OBEY.

“Hey, hey,” Tao caught Karlo’s hand, “She’ll still love you, no matter what.”

Karlo looked up at him, almost looking like he could believe it, before his face twisted and he pressed back into the crook of Tao’s shoulder.

“Karlo,” he spat out bitterly, “She loved Karlo.” His shoulders shook with renewed sobs.

“Well,” Tao squeezed his hand where it was pinned between them, “I like Lark, too.”

Lark let out a little gasp, and Tao realized it was a laugh, a real laugh, not the strained, forced thing he’d heard earlier. Lark relaxed in Tao’s arms, and Tao held him close, pressing his lips to the top of Lark’s head without a thought.

“I’ve got you. You’re okay. Everything is going to be okay.”

Lark took a slow, shuddering breath, and squeezed Tao’s hand back.

That’s when they heard the gunfire.

~~~

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Taglist: @angst-after-dark, @sunshiline-writes, @flowersarefreetherapy, @pigeonwhumps, @whump-em, @morning-star-whump, @thecyrulik

#whump #whump fic #whump writing #this death that i chose #pet whump #dubconcw #cw conditioning #cw derogatory language #cw manipulation #cw dubcon kiss #cw panic attack #cw derogatory tattoo

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okay-j-hannah · 1 year

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Hii hannah! I'm bout three months late because i had exams going on, well, I still have exams going on but I decided to not procrastinate and just write this.

Thank you so so much for writing my tenth doctor and rory requests. you don't know how much it means that you took time out of your life to write my requests. when I first started watching Doctor who, barely a season in, i stumbled upon your blog and read your dying girl story, i didn't even know anything properly bout doctor's character or other companions but your fic though! it captured doctor's character so well! It was in May I read it and started watching the show and I now always connect that time with doctor who and you and your fics haha.

I got so obsessed that I made this dying girl reader universe in my head with headcanons and stuff and started associating songs to the reader and fic ; i know they are like kinda popular cliche songs but snowman by sia and never be the same by camila cabelo really reminds me of the amy and rorys wedding scene with reader and doctor dancing (was it real or I made that up in my head?) and memory of reader practising mind reading thing and seeing memories of Doctor and she's like who's this beautiful person in his memories and doctor is like that's you love <3 moonlight serenade, spring waltz, we'll meet again, moon river, across the universe are some other songs I associate with them,, you didn't even ask for playlist but here I'm sharing it just because lmao

and then you wrote my ten request and added it dying girl universe, when I tell you actually started screaming from excitement when I saw it! I really wasn't expecting it, i was so so happy! And Idk why but I just feel so honoured that my request was added into the "official" dying girl universe masterlist! and the rory fic too, it was so sweet! you wrote it exactly as what I had in my mind when I sent you request, tysm for that!

Ngl I always checked your page once in a while when you were on break because I just looked forward to your writing so much and in January, around my birthday, found out you were active again and posted my requests and gotta say, best birthday gift even if it technically wasn't lol. I wonder if you've finished twelve's episodes, you mentioned how it is hard to "let go" of a doctor and I completely agree, I finishesed twelfth doctors episodes in December and God was it hard to say goodbye to him, I know I can rewatch but it won't be like first time :'( you know, the "i love my current doctor so much" feeling?

I've started thirteen but it doesn't feel the same, especially without murray gold's music and well, moffat and rtd. so glad that rtd is coming back for new seasons though!

Oh and have you read love is a choice fic on tumblr? it's a mostly eleven but also kinda thirteen x reader multiple parts series and tbh, one of the only fic that made me laugh and cry like dying girl series did. if you haven't i hope you check it out, it's a great read!

Kinda unrelated but can I just say ty to that person who sent you ask related to will turner, i recently watched one of the potc movie for the first time because i thought the will turner guy looked cute from the ask and now ive fallen down a rabbit hole lol I finished your will turner fics and now im searching up tumblr for more will turner x reader, it seems he's my new hyperfixation 😭 anyways ty again to that person and you ofc for the fics, and this is not a official request(it could be ig) but I hope you write second part to the merchant/pirate will fic!

And I've sent you two requests this time too, hope you'll like them enough to write it! I know I've said it lot in this single ask but Again thank you so much for everything and it's great to have you back on here and I hope you enjoyed your break, remember to take them again if you need to <333

My darling, my dearest, my love, you're making my heart so so happy!

I love that you took off with the Dying Girl universe because honestly that's what it became for me while I was writing it. It became so big I knew I could write so much about what happens in between the parts, and your request fit perfectly there.

Thank you for the playlist 😂 it does kind of bring the characters more to life when you associate them with things like songs. And you definitely didn't make up the wedding dancing scene, that happened in Part 6: The Lost Shoes!

I totally understand finding yourself fully immersed in a story, even if it is fanfiction. When that happens to me I just write and post it on here 😅 That's happened with the Dying Girl and the episodic series I started for the Eleventh Doctor and the Samwise Gamgee series and this Mandalorian one I'm starting.

My brain is hardwired to come up with these random tangents to canon stories, and they end up becoming these elaborate fanfictions.

I'm so glad you liked your requested fics! I had a lot of fun writing them. The Domestic fic was so fun to get back into the Dying Girl universe. I wouldn't mind writing more about their in between adventures. Happy belated birthday!

I have not finished twelves episodes - I'm still on his last season. Just like I wrote on our last conversation, I'm terrified of how sad I'll feel when he leaves because ten and eleven were real heartbreakers. I agree, I love him, and I'm so excited you requested something for him.

And I'm also so stoked for the new seasons with RTD and the 60th specials with ✨David Tennant✨ I'll have to finish twelve and thirteen before that comes out at the end of this year.

I haven't read "Love is a Choice" but I immediately looked it up and added it to my likes, so perhaps it'll be the fanfics I read when I try to sleep tonight lol

And I'm sorry... you hadn't seen any of the Pirates of the Caribbean!? I've been watching those movies since I was like seven! It's such a great fandom and Jack Sparrow is such a mood and Will Turner is such a dreamboat.

I'm almost honored that my blog prompted you to watch such an excellent franchise. I also hyperfixate on new characters and fandoms I love. I do have one request in my inbox for Will Turner and I've gotten multiple messages to write a part 2 for A Merchant Sailor, so perhaps when I finish this batch of requests I'll add it to the list.

So do expect more Will Turner fics to come 😘

I love that we have this little pen pal relationship where we just write each other letters 😂 It's honestly really good to hear from you, mysterious anon. I'm happy to have you as a reader and fandom friend.

Thank you for reaching out! I definitely love your requests! It'll just take me a while to get to all of them with my busy schedule, but I will write them in due course.

Have a lovely night and a good morning!

Prologue: The Dying Girl

Part 1: The Sun God

Part 2: The Tonic

Part 3: The Ending Song

Domestic: The Doctor returns to spend a few ‘human’ days with you {Set during Part 3}

Part 4: The Dream

Part 5: The Regeneration

Part 6: The Lost Shoes

Epilogue: The Vanishing Act

Finale: All Of Time And Space

A Merchant Sailor: Pretending to be a merchant, you befriend Will Turner as you keep your pirating a secret, until your brother forces you to reveal the truth

Blacksmith’s Hands: While visiting Tortuga, you find yourself injured and in the capable hands of a shy Will Turner

Lovey Dovey: Jack has never been overjoyed at the thought of you and your boyfriend - especially when you’re kissing on his ship

Sea Salt: On a mission to get you back, more might happen between you two than expected

#tenth doctor x reader #eleventh doctor x reader #twelfth doctor x reader #will turner x reader #okayjhannah question #okayjhannah #anon ask okay j hannah #okayjhannah answer #okay j hannah #hannahbeartalks #fandomfantasia

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nellyofthevalley · 1 month

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art shit

idk how many of yall follow me on here for art since ive posted a wide variety of content, but!!! i have a waitlist for comms now so if anyone is interested hmu (dm here or twitter or email [email protected])

it’s no commitment of course, im not even 100% sure what I’ll be offering yet (besides sketches). I made a trello board to keep track of my projects!

I’ll be doing comms once I finish what’s on the board! so feel free to yell at me to finish my shit, I’m hoping this will help me speed up a bit haha 🫶🏻 (except for Hannah’s cause the difficulty is a little above my pay grade atm and I won’t be offering full render w background for comms anyway lol)

also will do some sort of giveaway @ 500 followers on twitter because that’s fun ❤️

#nellyposting #my art

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harryleatherfit · 10 months

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Upper East Side || A.U || Frankie Morales

Chapter 9: Voice Lesson

Chapter Playlist:

Void- Melanie Martinez

Peppers-Lana Del Ray

Does and Mimosas- Cherub

word count: 4.5 k

warnings: celeb conflict??? (deux moi) oral m receiving, cum play, cockwarming ifffff you squint, fluff at the end tbh , fondling balls, soft!dom frankie, rough face fucking, mentions of traumatic family

pairing: Frankie Morales x F!reader (teacher x student)

rating: mature (18+)

authors note: so ive never written like sucking dick smut before thankfully so without further ado , also like i’ve planned for this to kinda get darkish- be prepared (pray i don’t fuck up the story 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️ )

🪩Main Master List🪩 Series Master List🪩

Recently rehearsals have been going fantastic. You and Matias have mastered your characters, and most of your blocking has been memorized. You would try on costumes and have your makeup done, getting the final touch ups done for tech week.

You haven't seen Frankie outside of class or rehearsal, but it’s okay. There were occasional hidden kisses in the secret hallway, or sly hand touches when you had to talk to him. You would text him at night and in the morning, but you two were both so busy that nothing had moved with your relationship.

If you could call it that.

He was so busy controlling the tech world and getting the set finished on time in the Broadway theater, he would be gone half the time anyway. The life of an actor you guessed.

During your shifts at Matilda’s, Matilda help would always help you with your lines a bit and keep you on task when you weren’t serving a customer. The money you were bringing in with your job was fantastic, and if you could keep up with the tips- you could hopefully pay back your loans in a few years. You were eternally grateful for this sweet woman taking you in and trusting you with her business.

But today was a day you were missing Frankie more than usual. You hadn’t text all day, and with your busy week before Hell week, you felt like he was slipping from you. It sincerely wasn’t any of your faults, but it was how things had to be for the time. In the pit of your stomach, you were scared he was with another girl. You felt in your heart he wouldn’t do that but you weren’t yet truly dating and you didn’t know if you’d ever get to that point. Technically he’s allowed to be with other people, and so were you.

But you had already gotten to that point with him in your heart. You would seal off the rest of the world for him if you could. All you wanted was him.

You could tell Laylah about Frankie, you told them earlier in the year about how you thought he was cute, but involving Laylah so early on may cause trouble.

You definitely couldn’t tell Hannah or Rose, you had no one to tell. You for fuck sure couldn’t call your mom. That made you chuckle at the image in your head.

An idea popped in your head. You could tell Matilda. She could be the key to all your worries.

You finished ringing up your last customer in the shop and head in the back where she was cleaning the espresso machine, formulating how to ask her about the teacher you’re wanting to fuck and possibly spend the rest of your life with.

“Matilda, I was uh, I had something I wanted to ask you about? Something I really need advice with.” You shrug into a chair, looking into her ocean pearl eyes.

“Honey, if it's about math, you’d have to get lost because I can’t even tell you how to do algebra. Don’t even get me started with that.” She babbles.

“No it’s not about Math or anything school related, well maybe school related, but I need advice because I think I’m seeing someone but I need help with like,” You had to process what to say next, “How to go about what to do next with him if that makes sense.”

I mean it was complicated, not entirely but you can’t just say you want to fuck your semi-famous teacher. That’d make you look delusional.

“Ohhh, boy talk. I’m good with this one.” She sets her rag down, “Now how long have you been seeing this boy dear?”

“Well I guess not until recently but there has always been sparks since the beginning of the school year.” You explain, “And until recently I would like to take things further with him…’ You trail off.

“And does he reciprocate those feelings?” She stares at you.

“We’ve both been very busy these past few weeks with the show and rehearsals during school, and keeping our grardes up. They’re not excuses but we truly haven’t had time to be with each other and I feel like he’s slipping through me like sand.” You blurt.

“Sweetie, if you want him to be yours then take him. Life's too short to cry about men that don’t care. If he’s smart, then he’s thinkin the same thing too.” She tugs you in for a hug, “Are you worried about anything else with him?”

You hesitate, “He’s… a little on the older side.”

“How much older?”

“I’d like not to say.” You chuckle.

“Well sweetheart, at least you’re over 18, anything younger and I’d call the cops on his ass.” She gets riled up, “But older as in older than 30?”

You blink, deciding to stay silent.

“Oh darlin, you’re treadin hefty water.” She shakes her head, “When I was about your age, I dated an older man too and I had the biggest disneyland eyes for him. He paid for anything and everything for me. We partied but mind you this was the 80’s. We were the happiest we could ever be, but I wanted kids and he didn’t. He was already so much older and his kids were about to have kids.”

You listen to her, the age gap indefinitely being a serious factor for you both, “Well he doesn’t have kids.” As far as you know, you didn’t know if he had other family, or past relationships. You didn’t know much about him.

“But me and my man back then, we ended things on a good note. We were in each other's lives for a reason. If you and this boy end things for any reason, it can end on a good note. You needed each other for a certain part of your life and you move on with it. That’s life.”

“Thank you, so deeply inspirational.” You say sarcastically.

“I'm serious Sugar, if people learned to have less hate in their hearts, we would probably live longer and not have wrinkles.” She chuckles. “Will you bring him in someday?”

One day, maybe one day in a perfect world when you can officially be together in the world’s eyes and no one would hate you guys for it. In another lifetime, you’d hope.

“Someday.”

“Everything’s okay as long as he’s treating my sugarpie alright.” She kisses your temple and you bask in her scent. Matilda always smells like sweet orange reminding you of the meadows in North Carolina. Reminding you of your mom when you were just a happy little girl. What would you be without Matilda?

------

You clock out and walk out the bakery from your shift, rushing to get to a late night voice lesson you had scheduled with Mr. Miller, after the play you had to worry about your voice recital, and to prepare your voice to be in tip top shape for the spring musical. You feel your phone buzzing in your pocket, checking to see your suitemates group chat blow up.

New Message: 19:45

Hannah: Guys check Mr. Morales’s instagram.

Laylah: That man has an instagram? Isn't he like in his 50’s?

Rose: OHHHH SHIT

Laylah: Fuck is this bad, what is it?

Hannah: That picture looks like it was taken outside near our dorm building.

Oh shit.

Laylah: Who’s the fucking girl!

You immediately check Frankies instagram, you guys had followed each other a couple weeks ago, not paying any attention to the fact he has tens of thousands of followers. You click on his profile from the search bar, and his recent new post on his page is the one he took of that night. Captioned: Missing you, mi amore.

You study the picture, your hair is long past your neck, and you obviously can’t see your face, but you can see the moonlight reflecting off your body. It was a good picture. He deleted everything else off his page, it’s just you.

Every step you took felt like the weight of the world was on your shoulders. After looking at the group chat, you decide to respond,

You: Do you guys think it could be a teacher?

Rose: It could, but none of the teachers here have that hair color.

Of course none of them did, you couldn’t blame the picture on anyone else. At least they didn’t immediately suspect it was a student, or fucking you.

Hannah: It’s blowing up everywhere, the comments under the post are filled with questions and congrats.

Laylah: Look at fucking Deuxmoi.

The next few stories were the picture again, but submissions of people saying who they think it is. You were glad to see nowhere near your name or level of regular people, all C-List celebrities and above.

You: Do you guys have any bets on who it is?

Hannah: Imagine it’s Halsey or like someone super fucking famous and we get to meet her for the show.

Rose: That would be fucking amaze.

Laylah: Isn’t it crazy how he’s like considered famous to us and we just don’t even blink an eye just because he’s our teacher

You: Oh yeah, it’s fucking crazy, I bet we’ll find out soon.

Thousands of people are trying to figure out who you were, and you were 100% sure you would not let that happen.

New Message: 19:57

Frankie: I have a surprise for you

You: I think you have surprised me enough for one day, you think?

Frankie: Was it too much?

You: No it wasn’t, I love it Frankie. It just took my breath away. That gossip girl page Deuxmoi has it posted everywhere though.

Frankie: Well I had to post you sweet girl. That page can talk about you all they want, because I want everyone to see it, I want people to know that my heart has been taken from me.

After receiving that text, you walk into your voice lesson with Mr. Miller and you see Frankie seated next to him, both men looking up from their phones to meet your eyes.

His heart has been taken.

“Hi Mr. Miller, Mr. Morales.”

He shifts in his chair, that name coming from your mouth always makes him squirm.

You get out your music and wait for Mr. Miller to prepare his ipad with his accompaniment for the piano.

“Sorry, today Mr. Morales is going to sit in on your lesson today, we were talking about things for the musical and he doesn’t have much to do for now.” Mr. Miller justified.

“My bad Darlin, I hope my presence doesn’t scare you or anythin.” He glares at you.

“No worries Mr Morales, I don’t mind at all.”

“Perfect, so for today I wanted to pick out Winter Recital music and have you briefly sing them all. This Winter senior recital will be a little shorter than the springs since that’s the last hurrah for your college years but let me show you,” He shuffles through papers, “Here’s the music, I hope you enjoy these pieces, I think they fit your level and voice part quite nicely. And here’s some ensemble music you’ll all be doing together, I’ll play theml.” He turns on his TV, “Fish I hope you don’t mind man.”

There’s that nickname again.

“No it’s cool, I love choral music.” He sits back in his chair, not taking his eyes off of you.

He handed you some pieces your class would do together, he played Indodana, a hymn in Xhosa. This piece brought tears to your eyes, it was incredibly beautiful and you were excited to recreate it with your class. Then he played Earth Song, a cry for peace in the midst of war. This song really resonated with you. Then he went through more pieces for you, commenting on what parts he likes for you.

“And for the finale, I’d like you to pick an opera for yourself. I don’t really teach opera, but I’ve heard you and I know you can do it.” Mr Miller smiles.

“Me, do an opera song at our senior winter recital?”

“Yes, I think it would be good to show off what our school has, yes?” He shakes his head to Frankie.

“Yeah I agree, your tone is so clear darlin, and your voice never gives out. I’m sure you can do it.” He chides in. “Show off your perfect pitch sweetheart.”

He was edging you on. The way you sound with him, so loud and clear. You could scream so loud and high pitched because of him, the heavens could hear.

“Thank you seriously, this means a lot. Do you want me to pick a song now?”

“Preferably so I can get the sheet music, or have someone transpose it onto paper. 5 ish minutes good enough for you?”

You nod, and take out your phone to look through your music library, preferably looking through Caroline Polacheks discography.

New Message: 20:46

Frankie: 5 minutes starting

You: Keep your eyes to yourself Mr. Morales, you’re making me lose focus.

Frankie: Hmmm, I would. But that's no fun. Sorry.

He gets up from his seat to sit next to you, blabbering about some opera songs that he’s liked in his past years.

But you can’t focus on that, all you can focus on is his infatuating smell, it covers your brain cells and prevents you from formulating a single thought. His hair is curlier than usual today, and you would risk your whole life to touch it in front of Mr. Miller. You felt completely unresponsive to anything Frankie was saying to you.

“Find one yet?” Mr. Miller looks over your phone.

“I really liked this one.” You blurted, “Last Days: Non Voglio Mai Vedere II Sole Tramontare. It’s by my favorite singer Carolina Polachek, and she actually did it for a parisian opera a couple months ago. I would absolutely love to see if I could perform this.”

“That’s funny you say that. We all have actually met her.”

“Of course you have,” You throw your hands in the air, “So you know her style of music?” You question Mr. Miller.

You’d have to ask him more another day about her, you were too distracted to care about anything.

“Oh yeah, her voice is beautiful. Those high F sharps may be a challenge, but we'll work on them don’t worry. I’ll get some sheet music soon enough and we can work on the pronunciation.” He looks down to his watch, “Ah, it’s exactly 9. You may leave now, next lesson everyone will be together, and then we’ll go to individual lessons again.”

“Thank you Mr. Miller, have a great night. Mr. Morales.” You smile at him.

You walk out of his lecture room, receiving another ding from your phone.

21:03

Frankie: Wait at the water fountains for me, he’s about to leave through the other exit.

You: What are you up to?

Frankie: We’ll see.

You wait, scrolling through your phone. Interested to see what he wants.

He walks out the hall, locking the door behind himself. Catching you, he looks like a hungry lion. The glimmer changed in his eyes. He advances towards you, grabbing your hand and pulling you to a door near the building entrance unlocking quickly before you can even register. It looks like a janitor's closet.

He flicks on the light, it’s about big enough for someone to sit in, shelves to hold cleaning supplies, but not much more.

“And what is this, Mr. Morales? A small little closet to do what in?” You play dumb.

“You tell me.” He whispers.

A vibration went down your back. You set your bag down in a corner of the tiny room, knowing exactly what you want this night to be for. You’ve been planning for this all along.

Tying up your hair, unbuttoning the cuffs to the sleeves of your shirt. You walk up to him, closing in and pushing him against a shelf.

“You’re gonna let me do what I want to do next, even if you want to save it for a “special night”. Tonight's about you Frankie.” You bring your hands to the hem of his jeans, cupping your hand around his cock. Always so swollen.

“Fuck sweet girl, I’ve imagined so much with you lately, I need your hands on me- please.” He begs.

You sink to your knees, bracing to open his jeans and unleash his cock. You’ve never seen it, you’re nervous, but what you’ve felt makes your mouth water. You shimmy his jeans down his legs, kissing his stomach, adoring his happy trail. His whole body succumbs to you immediately, kissing every rough patch of skin, every freckle, every section of skin open to you. You notice his legs are covered in tattoos.

The dark ink on his golden skin making you hornier than ever.

The second you meet his boxers, his cock twitches.

“Can I?” You look up, bracing your hands at the edge of his boxers.

“You’re gonna kill me sweet girl. A man’s gotta beg for a girl like you to be touchin my cock?”

With his needy confirmation, you bring them down, revealing every inch. Your brain plummeted. It was so big, and thick. Hair at his base surrounding his cock, and your mouth couldn’t stop watering.

You wish you could skip this part and immediately crawl over him, pushing every inch into your pussy, closing in so tight you both can’t move.

The more you looked at his cock, the more it grew in size, the wetter you became. You could feel the liquid oozing out of you. Still, who knew you could want to suck a man so bad, but it is Frankie Morales.

“It’s big, really big Frankie.” You choke.

“What darlin? Cat bite your tongue? Those googly eyes like what they see?” He falters.

Instantaneously, you swirl up spit in your mouth and spit on his tip, bringing your thumb to his head, mixing your spit and pre-cum together.

He seethes through his teeth, the movement happening too fast he had to hold onto a rail.

He looks down, “Taste us together, go on, pretty girl. I know you want to.”

You take your thumb up to your mouth. It tasted almost sweet, of course coming from Frankie. This made you crave more. You hum in the taste, swallowing every last drop.

“Look at you dirty girl, already licking cum. I bet that pussy is aching to feel me again huh?” You nod. “Get those fingers wet from your leaking pussy, I wanna taste.”

You do as you’re told, shoving your hand so fast in your pants to relive the prevalent ache in your core. Tonight is about Frankie. Dick what brain needs to go away.

He bends slightly to lick your fingers, “Sweeter than candy angel, fuck. Such a good girl.” He swallows what’s given to him.

Catching him by suprise, you spit along his dick, wrapping your hand around him, “You’ve been so good to me Frankie, making me squirt, making my pussy feel full with these thick fingers.” You bring his hands to your head, making his hands wrap full of hair, “Now fucking face fuck me, use my mouth.”

In double time, he grabs a hold of your hair in both of his hands, violating your face with his cock, spreading your mouth so wide, you can feel your jaw tick.

The sound of his cock relentlessly hitting the back of your throat made you want more, you wanted every ounce of cum inside his shaft to fill you up in every hole.

“Is this what you wanted from the start, just to suck me off pretty girl? You could’ve just asked nicely.” He growls.

You push away for a second, sending a popping sound. The spit from your mouth covering your lower face, dripping onto your clothes, “Why would I do that when you’ve been dying to cum down my throat?” You raise your eyebrows, “Just stating the fucking obvious Fish.”

He snarls, grabbing your face, you thought your body would give out, but you love it. Your body is opening up to him so easily, it’s simple biology. This is what you wanted for him. You knew he was so stressed, and letting him see the stars could make your heart have an orgasm too.

His cock continues to swell in your mouth, globs of pre-cum and spit are dripping all down your face, tears falling down. You reach the base of his cock for some time, nose nested into his hair. You move your face around his cock, angling it inside your mouth so it can reach deeper down your throat.

You reach your hands to touch his balls.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck- babygirl-.” He groans.

You pull off, “Is this okay, is it too much?”

“No, no- so good- so- fuck- you’re gonna make me cum in you like that.” His legs spasm.

“That’s the goal.” You chuckle.

You continue to bob, up and down his perfect cock, rubbing his balls. You bring them to your lips, moaning, hoping the vibration will send him over the edge. His body reacted perfectly, you couldn't believe your ears when he started to slightly whimper, it was too much for him.

“Oh my god- baby- keep doing that-- shit-.” He yells. “Such a good fucking girl.”

He forces your face up and down a few more pushes, and finally a thick sweet substance is flowing down your throat and you can’t get enough. You moan louder, draining his dick for everything he has. You can see the whites of his eyes, his strong hands bracing your skull, your tongue never leaving his cock.

“Come up baby, let me see your face.” He whispers. You didn’t want to breathe, you wanted to stay stuffed from him. His cock started to go soft in your mouth, but you didn’t want to detach from him.

He breaks free from you, breathing together in sync, “You’re gonna be the death of me, pretty girl.” He falls to the ground holding you on the ground. Laying limp against the shelves in the closet. “My beautiful sweet dirty girl.”

“Your beautiful sweet dirty girl?” You ask. Your heart is completely unsolicited and open to the question, “Am I yours, Fish?”

“Baby girl,” He holds you tighter, “You always have been. Since I saw you getting your dorm room that night. You saw me looking down at you, remember? And the bathroom?”

“I do remember, your memory is impeccable.” Kiss.

“Since the orientation meeting.” Kiss. “I brought in Timothée for you, I needed someone I trusted to see how talented you are.” Kiss.

“He kinda slipped up at the end of class that day and told me how you felt. I couldn’t see it then because you were so closed off with me.” You reveal.

“Of course that boy did.” He grumbles. “I was closed off with you because I didn’t want to scare you away, I didn’t want this to be dead before it started.”

“Hey, he didn’t mean to. Don’t give him a rough time. I think because of him, we’re in this very spot right now.” Kiss. “And your death scare makes you really fucking hard to read.” You giggle.

“Oh whatever,” He clicks his tongue, “But since your monologue, since I heard your beautiful voice singing Caroline Polachek. Fuck, ever since I heard about that fucking bitch Nina talkin to you.”

“You know?”

“Of course I know. When we were all talking about who would get Lady Macbeth, Pope, um Mr. Garcia, told us what was going on. She’s been a headache ever since she’s been a freshman, and her father can get fucking lost.”

“Yeah during my audition, she got to me, deeper than I thought. It made me actually cry during my scene though.”

“Oh sweetheart, fuck. I’m sorry I was so cold to you. I wish you could’ve come to me after that.” “No, Frankie, it was the both of us.” You nestle to him closer.

“Up on that stage, I can’t take my eyes off you. You captured us all so much, we all immediately knew you’d get the part. You’ve been broadway ready for ages. Those questions we all asked you were like a bullshit follow up if you’re askin me,” He kisses your head, “And if Nina Wyatt ever gets close to you or your friends, tell me.” He adds darkly.

“But the nightclub.” He holds your face, “That night was when I knew I never wanted anyone else. Seeing you dance on that stage, your dress, your skin in the lighting, your smile spreadin all across your face. My heart is fucked.”

You wish you could have done something about this sooner, every time after you’ve been with him you have to fucking overthink and question every action.

“I’m afraid.” You shiver.

“I know, you’re such a smart girl. So smart for weighing out your options. That kind of yours, always thinkin about everyone. If you wanna back out for any circumstance I understand. There’s so much to risk. For the both of us. But I’m done hiding away from the risks, m’not gonna lose you because of some people talking online.”

“Deuxmoi has it out for me, literally.”

“Let them find you, I don’t care.” He murmurs in your ear. Playing with your hair.

You knew this was Frankie giving his heart to you. If he continued any more, you would’ve burst into tears, he’s all you’ve been looking for your entire life. This feeling consumes you. You need him to know how you feel.

“I couldn’t, Frankie. I could never leave you. I was just scared you were seeing someone else and I don’t want my issues to mess with anything.”

“Darlin, it’s okay. I want you to know, you can have access to anything. I want to give you my world, want you to feel safe no matter what. And you don’t have ‘issues’ gorgeous, you’re human and that’s okay.”

You’ve never had a man, especially an older man, say words to you that resonated with your heart so deeply. How did your worlds suddenly align?

After your mom and dad, you would never stay with a man through abuse, or if he cheated on you. And you pray to fucking god Frankie would never hurt you. God left you a long time ago, but you would pray that you were enough for him.

You felt that eventually, you’d tell Frankie about your life, you’d tell him about the things that have happened to you. And hopefully you’d meet his friends and family, and hear about his life. Hear about Spain and his travels. But right on now, you want to create a life with him.

“Then I’m forever yours.” You graze his lips, you can feel his heart beating so fast, you don’t know who fell eachother first.

——-

previous || next

this is caroline polacheks opera song and tbh as a chorus person im not too deep into opera, but this is really damn good and how the hell does she hit those damn notes

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pinkseas · 2 years

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aly aly aly. i am thinking abt ckarlnapity wedding again what wedding gifts do u think everyone gets them!!!

UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM UM UM good question.

okay well ive decided just now that tina gets them a big lovely handmade scrapbook and some cameras bc shes cute and thoughtful like that.

okay ive been sitting here for like 15 minutes now trying to decide what tubbo would give them but tubbo is decidedly both smarter and more thoughtful than me and nothing has come to mind yet. rest assured it would benefit all three of them (or he makes smth separate for all three) and it would be made with his own two hands no matter how long it took or how hard it was and it would be Perfect. and somewhere deep down hes saying thank you and hes saying im sorry and hes saying i love you, i miss you, i want to be close again. never with words. the two of them work so much better without words getting in the way of what they really mean. tubbo couldve gotten them the shittiest thing in the world and quackity wouldve been grateful. he doesnt know how to tell tubbo that even if it hadnt been perfect he wouldve accepted. by the time the wedding itself is over and they find themselves sitting side by side someplace quiet (just a breather, just for another moment) both of them know how the other feels anyways. the silence between them speaks louder than anything else ever could

hannah offers to take care of all of the flowers and floral arrangements for the wedding, every last one, however many they want or however detailed they want it. this, too, is both a thank you and an apology, and quackity has always loved roses. every flower in the venue is perfect. hannah’s smile and teary eyes during the ceremony are genuine.

bad and skeppy gift them something extravagant and utterly useless at first, and later something much smaller but incredibly meaningful. maybe an heirloom or pictures and stories of sapnap as a kid that none of them have seen before or something to do with demonic culture. antfrost gets them something very thoughtful and genuinely useful in spite of how wildly tempted he is to give them the worlds greatest gag gift.

tommy also DEFINITELY gives them something handmade and meaningful. could not tell you more than that but he has one of the greatest gifts of anyone easily

i cannot think of anyone else who i could even so much as guess what sort of gift they would give i simply am not well versed enough in other characters this is so sad. but these are my thoughts <3

#arthur tag #i did my best..........................

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drowsystarlight · 2 years

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Jasmine for the même

Jasmine: my god i have a lot . There is SO MUCH . I used to be an avid reader but now all the books i want to read are in a pile bc a character death in the Lorien Legacies series fucking KICKED MY ASS and now i havent picked up since uhhhh maybe 10th grade??? LMAO anyway RAMBLING TIME

Books

1) My Heart and Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga . I actually really loved this shit and hid in class to read this book, I’d literally take any free time I have to pop this shit open and keep reading. It had dark themes tho (tw for suicide and depression basically) and i was a little kid who’d take any book i liked the plot of TO READ and this one was 👍👍👍 amazing. Described dark things and depression really well, it’s easy to feel for the characters and they felt real!! However I won’t read it again bc 1) while i found this really good when I read it like years ago, I dont like it now bc it put Romance in a place it was like,,,, kinda bleh to put ?? I mean romance is great but the ending kinda used it as a cure all lmao 2) it was SO DEPRESSING and it was hard to read bc its SO GOOD but my god i cant go through that again holy shitballs its like bridge to terabithia all over again

2) Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson . i dont think i gotta explain why im never reading or watching this shit again bc its so good but its notorious for emotionally beating up its readers into a pulp LMAO

3) The Fall of Five (Lorien Legacies #4), Pittacus Lore . This . THIS . THIS MADE ME STOP READING FOR YEARS BC IT HURT TOO MUCH!!!!! I HATE THAT MOTHERFUCKER PITTACUS LORE i swear when i find out who the fuck that is im going to rattle them wih my belt for doing MY BOY DIRTY !!!! I SWEAR IT !!!! Great books but my FAVE IS DEAD !!!!! GRRRGRGRGGRGRGGRGFRGRFRGRGG

4) Percy Jackson and the Olympians, The Heroes of Olympus, both series by Rick Riordan . I love them and I will give my life to this series bc its my favorite book series EVER but I have college and freelance work now so i cant reread 10 books like i used to (I read both of those in like a MONTH so i was really a beast ,,,, sighs i miss the good ol days)

5 Harry Potter . Why ? Fuck jk rowling

Shows

1) 13 reasons why . First of all I think they fucked this up by making more than two seasons . Like one season is Not Enough and having the second is A Stretch But Acceptable BUT also really obviously for just for the money imo . Like girl we get it hannah died and clay didnt get to use Love as a cure all for her unlike the book above by jasmine warga !!!! Ok !!! So the tapes r the final stories !! Cool !!! Amazing content wow i do not give a shit about bryce walker tho . I just hate how it lost the whole Hey this is about Clay or Hannah thing the longer it went and it turned from a good angsty show to like uh . Whatver i didnt watch the 3rd season lmao . Also the last ep in the first season was VERY TRIGGERING for me i actually had to skip that shit and sit a while bc of how graphic it was 💀💀💀 i expected mentions of suicide but not ACTUAL scenes of ot w blood and all my god

2) Steven universe . Idk it was great but ive associated it with someone i do not want anything to do with anymore so its more Personal but also . I kinda think the ending sucked . Wow lets have a bath party with the gems instead of address that this giant dysfunctional family of four has killed so many !!! Sure why not !!! I loved the movie tho lmao spinel has my heart

I think thats it unless i forgot one LMAO but anyway thanks polks this made me want to read again ,,, damn

#neeks inbox #ask game #WHOOOOOOO things i love but will not consume again ever #my heart and other black holes #steven universe #13rw #harry potter #percy jackson #lorien legacies #does the lorien legacies even have a fandom #holy shit #its giving Tumbleweeds for that series damn #and its so surprising bc its a Lot like percy jackson !!!!

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cosmicscales · 4 months

Text

i started writing something for my top kpop songs of the year but i never finished it. i'm gonna post some of it anyways! there's also a link to a playlist with a longer top 20 and some honourable mentions:

hannah cosmicscales favourite kpop songs of 2023:

1. EUNOIA (Billlie) - Captures a kind of youthful, pure sense of fun and happiness that has never failed to stop me in my tracks and make me smile and do the little hand dance for all three minutes and twenty-three seconds. Billlie is my group of the year. :) 2. The Flash (KWON EUNBI) – Powerful, unstoppable, euphoria in a bottle. Eunbi sounds like she's reaching as far as she can for something beyond her that she wants desperately. Underrated, definitely deserved more attention than it got. 3. Ditto (NewJeans) – A song with no loose ends. Everything circles itself; the pre-chorus blends into the chorus and back around to the verses before we even realize we're back. As close to a perfect song as I can imagine. 4. BYOB (bring your own best friend) (Billlie) – Feels like a childhood memory; the intro sample makes an otherwise soft and dreamy track feel bittersweet. 5. Tinnitus (Wanna be a rock) (TXT) – Good take on afrobeats; all I can come up with to describe it is "groovy". You've got to listen to feel it. One of the best B-sides of the year, if not the best. 6. Off the Record (IVE) – A more toned-down release in contrast to IVE's previous title tracks, capturing the 2 am late-night convo theme. Shows they can deliver downtempo pop at the same calibre as their showstopping bangers. 7. Rover (KAI) – KAI brings his charisma and confidence to this cover and makes it entirely his own; another good take on reggaeton in kpop. 8. Cupid – Twin Version (FIFTY FIFTY) – Sweet and simple, with lyrics about longing loneliness that really resonated with zoomers. I prefer the twin version for leaving out the rap verse that felt shoehorned in the original. 9. O (Circle) (ONEW) – This track reminds me of Everything Everywhere All At Once somehow. Minimalist in the verses yet all-encompassing towards the end, with absolutely beautiful lyrics and a solid vocal performance from ONEW. 10. Spicy (aespa) – "Power" is the one word I would use to describe this song. With the members’ confident delivery and the unapologetically harsh instrumentation, aespa feels exciting again.

Honourable mentions:

Walk & Shine (Q.IX) – So creative and expressive, perfectly captures what it feels like to be queer. Actually does the genre switch-up trend right! BAPPI (The Deep) – Belongs on every single 'kpop songs made for the gay club' playlist. Good & Great (KEY) – "I'm good, I'm great, I work, get paid" is the best chorus of the year. Je Ne Sais Quoi (ODD EYE CIRCLE) – Shimmery, smooth, beautiful production and great vocal performances from the girls.

#kpop #music #this is one of my first times writing about music and it's hard but fun #long post

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away-ward · 9 months

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I think the reason why i love willemmy the most in dn series is because will's not an alpha, hayhahha! Ive read so many books with this dynamic and still am not personally liking extreme alphas MMCs very much, especially alpha (ass)-holes. Might be because of my own personal lack of tolerance to being controlled be it irl or through the fictional characters i read, especially relating to any kind of relationships in general really, so i love will's character a TONNE. In fact, in the royal elite series by rina kent, i love ronan & teal the most, and i believe its for the same reason. It goes the same with non-dark romances, i love jacob & eve brown from act your age eve brown & the first book's couple: get a life chloe brown, fox & hannah from hook, line and sinker, esme & khai from the bride test, pippa & ravi from a good girls guide to murder, and literally every book by abby jimenez except for the friend zone (because i hated that one), especially daniel from part of your world and jason from happily ever after playlist. Adding to that, my top fav characters from the shadowhunter chronicles (simon, alex, jem, raphael, henry) had very similar character traits too. Theyre not the popular guys of the series, also maybe because theyre pretty chill, but theyre always IT for me. I found these kind of characters's personalities and attributes so attractive. They make me giggling screaming kicking my feet and shit, haha! Like idk, theres something appealing about a man (.especially with some golden retriever traits) who can offer me something and makes me want to have him by my side anyway without them having to control my own narrative or personal choices almost all the time, is just so appealing to me.

Other than that, if you have read even some of these books, you would know that a lot of these books have another similar thing (except for raphael and alec): the MMCs know theyre being loved, desired and cared for AND their feelings were all written ON THE PAGE, not just in passing etc., and i think that was what seals the deal for me. The vulnerability and intimacy of the MMCs' thoughts and feelings of being loved by their significant others. My issue with corrupt (and even hideaway and kill switch) was that, unlike the fandom's hate towards rika's love for michael, i love that rika was showing us how much michael meant to her and how much she desires him; i love it when FMCs go after men that they want to be with. But its always about rika rika rika, but never really about how michael FEELS about it / after he received that amount of love and care, especially after he get out of his angsty head. We saw rika so happy with how michael made her feel; cherished, desired etc. but what about michael's in depth POV? I wanna see how michael feels about it too! We were always told he was happy in the extras, but cant pd actually just take some time and show us on page or wrote even a page or two about how these MMCs actually feel on page in the book, for once? Im begging for crumbs! Im always frustrated with this trope (?) because to me, what was exactly personally lacking for the execution of this trope about alpha MMCs like in corrupt, hideaway and kill switch most of the time, was it was usually not written on page in their povs, about how loved and desired these MMCs feel now. They were usually just dismissed with some context clues, others' povs or a side note about their life with their women. Its also always about how amazing and loved they made the FMCs feel, not the other way around. And thats the thing, I KNOW theyre loved, like everyday michael, kai, damon woke up feeling loved by their women, but i wanna see them acknowledging the love they had and how much that made their day and life!!! Im nosy, feed me more, and please give me the flufffffff haha!

--And Idk if thats on the writer for not portraying the trope well, or it's just how the trope is written because romance are usually written not only for the enjoyment of the author and the audience, but for a heavily targeted audience (women) where they want to self project themselves into the story, so they always want to know more about how the MMC treats and reacts to the FMC, rather than a pov of how the FMC impacted the MMC in his lens in a deeper way (this is a well known fact among romance authors i believe, even pd ackowledged this in one of their goodreads questions when someone asked them about their story crafting and how that relates to the advertising side of selling their stories. If you noticed, pd didnt really write characters like banks and emory a lot, even in their other series or stand-alones, because i think its probably because banks and emory's characters are almost everything of what WOULDNT sell in this industry, sadly--also because pd just might not want to write something they dont want to but who knows? Not me. Anyway, Its the double standards and misogyny tbh, because a lot romance readers, funnily enough even when being female presented themselves, still cant put aside their own internalised misogyny, double standards and purity culture ideologies that they have for real and fictional women, and projected those mary sue traits to women around them, as if women or fictional women have to adhere to a different sets of morality and standards as compared to fictional men who did worse, and can do whatever they want, but still be loved by many of these women. Thats why, romance's bad reviews are usually "i cant relate to her" or "i couldnt connect to emory". Understandable, but it still sounds weird to me, idk, maybe just me. But this is a whole 'nother topic).--

Coming back to the topic, I noticed this pattern within the alpha MMCs trope (most of the time), and it took away my enjoyment from fully loving books like that. I just wanna see couples fighting with/for each other, and BOTH the FMC and MMC (at least for non-queer couples) to love and be shown on page, how loved they felt by the other you know. All we get usually is an indication that the FMC was interested in the MMC and then it's done. I just wanna see all the gushy feelings of Michael, Kai and damon when they realised how loved they are, how they noticed all the little and big things rika, banks and winter had done or shown to them etc. but we never really got to see it. The most feelings i get from them are in their extras or novellas, but even then, it's not enough!!! Like please, continue to gush about your happy life and how happy your women make you feel!!! Like put aside your pride and show us more loving things!! Its not embarrassing because how can loving someone so wholeheartedly like that be embarrassing? Thats why i'll never stand with people shaming rika or any women tbh for showing how much they want to love their men. Its not embarrassing to want someone that badly, but I also wished she had more self preservation (which she did later on in the series), without having to tone down her desire of wanting to love michael either, so basically a good balance between these two points would be great. Like I just wanna see you two happy individually, and together!!! Please!

So thats why willemmy's book was appealing to me, because not only we saw them pining for each other in their heads, and when they couldnt control it, it always, AWLAYS!! show through their facial expressions and body languages. Like they just cannot help themselves because they were just so in love!!!! And then we got more pining, and the cycle repeats, even after 10 years, they were pining non-stop!! Yes, please! This level of appreciation shown for and by each other is so delicious! Hahahaha! We also saw how loved they felt by the other CONSTANTLY on page (on page!!!) even in the weirdest moments when others kept on interrupting them, or when they were in denial about their feelings, or even in the epilogue with their extended families. Like emmy's pining for will? Top tier. Emmy acknowledging how good and wholesome will makes her feel? Then we saw how much he chershes her? Fucking amazing! Even better than Top tier. Will acknowledging his feelings for emmy? Top tier. Will shown on page about how amazing and fulfilling it felt like to be loved by her? Then we saw will acknowledging how she indulges him? Fucking amazing! Even better than Top tier! Hahahaha! Yes! Show me how happy you are with each other!!! Moreee! Thats why I was so sad that we only usually get these kind of crumbs from michaelrika, kaibanks and winterdamon in the extras, novellas or near the epilogues. Like Its not enough!!!!! Gimme moreeeeeee!!!

Now, end of my ranting and sharing, what about you, what do you like most about willemmy?

It sounds like you like a guy who can be vulnerable. I get that. I think more than anything, a romance should be obvious from both sides?

There’s definitely a double-standard in fiction (and the real world) with expecting a FMC to be vulnerable and open from the get go while expecting a MMC to strong and stoic, almost to the point of emotionless, until the relationship stable and then he can be openly happy. However, once the relationship is stable, the story ends, so we don’t get to read that part. Because no one wants to read their 9 to 5 every day boring life when they came to see the couple fight and smash.

But stoic is not emotionless, so there should be a way to show the depth of MMC’s feelings without taking away their broodiness. I’m not sure if it’s because the general audience only wants the broody type character or that it’s a struggle to portray, but I agree with your analysis that there is an issue in the genre.

((But I’ve never been in love or a man, so far be it for me to accuse anyone of writing a man-in-love wrong.))

I have read or started some of those books (mostly started and didn’t finish). Personally, I don’t mind if the MMC is a little bit of an alpha-hole, as long as there’s a balance and an explanation, not just because. And I don’t mind if the FMC is a little submissive or shy if it’s done well. It’s not my go-to, but not something I avoid (I’ll point to the Crown Point series by Mary Catherine Gebherd as one I didn't mind reading (specifically Gray and Story, but I really enjoyed the first one. It’s just Abigail is not that submissive). I’ve only finished the first two and probably won’t continue (unless we get Gemma and Grim’s story) but they’re not bad. Can I just divert another second to say…the Horsemen of Crown Point seem so much more intense than the Horsemen of Thunder Bay, and I’ve only read two scenes with Grim… so that says a lot… ).

But that’s the point, right? We want characters that are done well. Characters who have traits that make sense, not just to have them because they fit the mold. There should be reasons why a character behaves a certain way. Sure, personalities develop individually and sometimes the character doesn’t know why they act a certain way, but as a reader who is getting the narrative, we should be able to identify why.

Even if a MMC doesn’t know what he’s feeling or why he’s feeling it, we as the reader should know it’s because ohhhhh they got it bad. They got hit so hard with the Simp Stick. Instead, we get them manically mumbling, “That’s mine. I don’t know why she’s mine but I can’t imagine her with anyone else, so she’s mine,” like some psychos.

And because of that, that it’s refreshing when a MMC can realize “It’s because I love her that I’m doing this. What? Did you think I was going to deny it? Have you seen her? Of course, I love her. I’ve never loved anything more.”

It hard to find a balance between those two extremes.

You’re probably right about characters like Emory and Banks not selling, for all those reasons you mentioned. It’s discussed often enough that people want strong FMC but – not like that. We don’t want characters who can be… mean. We want characters who can fight! And be soft for the people they care about! And not be a doormat, but still submissive with their man. (Please note my heavy use of sarcasm)

Emory and Banks fall into that "but they're so mean" category because they do what they say they're going to do and sometimes that means hurting the other characters (*gasp* even their *gulp* love interest). There are a lot of FMC who I would consider strong, but not the industry standard of strong. I’ve rb a lot of leverage stuff, but Parker and Sophie are good examples of strong FCs who don’t fit the mold (Parker also occupies a close space in my head to Emory, so there could be some overlap in how I'm processing them).

It is weird, however, when a reader is faced with a character who makes decisions they don’t agree with and reasons “I couldn’t relate to her”. Well, she’s not you! Do you think every MC should be you? Every MC should make the decision you would make? How did we get to this point? And it does seem to be something I've seen happening exclusively in the romance genre. I don't see other series/genre where the FMC are being critiqued to such a degree for not performing as a damsel for the MMC to save every second they're on the page together. But I could just not be aware the conversation is happening. A lot of things do fly over my head.

Anyway, back to DN.

I can laugh at Rika for a lot of things, but wanting Michael is not one of them (actually sometimes it is. He's fun to make fun of. but it’s all in good fun, right? Like they’re just characters. People shouldn’t get so angry. Just laugh). But like you, I would have liked to see some of the softer, tender moments between them. I think one of the softest moments we got from Corrupt was the end flashback when Rika’s 13 and Michael listens to her and then thinks “She corrupted me.” I don’t know why, but Michael acknowledging that Rika was part of why he started Devil’s Night is really… "awwww" for me. But I think for the most part, that’s the softest thing we get from him?

I think part of the problem with Michael is that he doesn’t have a good tolerance for expressing emotions in public spaces. He’s had to deal with his father feeding off his every reaction since childhood, trying to find ways to manipulate him, and then with Trevor doing the same, so he’s learned how to shut it down. From an outside perspective, an observer probably wouldn’t see much from him.

That being said…our other narrators are supposed to be his closest friends, so they should be able to also catch his little tells with Rika. I haven’t read the series to pick out Rika/Michael moments, so I couldn’t tell you if they do, but I don’t remember any sticking out.

So, for those moments we'd have to rely on bonus material. Personally, I wouldn’t mind those little moments. Seeing the characters outside the tension-filled plot would help me to understand them and their dynamics better. For example, I loved the moments in the past scenes when we got to see the boys just being friends because. Well, I love friendships in media, but also because it was just nice to see them being them as they were before things went sideways. I would eat up the boring, 9-to-5, day-to-day moments of these characters if it meant we get to see them being in love and a family, and not just told yeah, they’re doing fine.

To answer you’re questions, I have no idea what it is that hooked me on Willemmy exactly. It does check some of my trope boxes.

Isolated/Quiet Nerd Girl + Popular/Jock boy

GrumpyxSunshine

Mutual Pining

One fell first but the other fell harder.

I read the first three books for the plot outside the romance, but I do enjoy romance quite a bit, so the fact that NF’s past scenes romance felt more like a romantic drama than a high-speed/suspense plot might have seal the deal for me. There was just so many cute moments that had me smiling and there were moments that had me all the way in my deepest feels for both of these characters, whereas the other books had me leaning towards one character or the other.

I know readers talk a lot of trash about the series, Banks and Emory, and NF (and I’m not excluding myself, but I do try to be respectful), but the past scenes in NF was a well-rounded story and NF does have some really solid stuff in there. With NF, I honestly feel that you could take the past scenes, clean them up a bit and give it a small time-skip conclusion and you’d have good novel all on its own. Which doesn't work the other books in the series! NF weakest part is that it’s the conclusion of a large story that wasn’t originally planned when the first novel was published. Everything besides that is, as you said, Top Tier.

Thanks for the comment. I hope I answered everything. Let me know what you think!

*bolded not for emphasis but to help with reading a long post*

#asked and answered #devil's night series stuff #the horsemen of devil's night #the women of devil's night #willemmy #why I like willemmy #character analysis #story analysis #asked and answered 49

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femalehysteria420 · 1 year

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No actually fuxk all the people who traumatized me i dont give a fuck ill say their names im not fucking scared because nothing that they can do now is what they put me through fuck you julian and james (girls will get groomed by one man and abused by another within the same time frame lmfao but also james started dating an 14 year old when he was 19 so take that as you fucking will) and the biggest fuck younof all to grey thanks for ruining ny fucking lifeni cant sleep i cant eat anymore ive been relapsing weekly at this point soemtimes even more thannonce a week yeah its my fault but its your fucking fault to go to hell fuck you seriously and you know what im not a liar or a faker no one even follows this blog im fucking venting because i deserve it and i am so tired of hearing allt hese fears im crazy im auust a delusional hysterical woman im a liar for attention i made it all up wlel so what it im downright clinically insane i dont guve a fuck i dont give a fuck if im fucking schizoaffective and bpd whatever fuck it fuck you i hope allof these people die i hope youre miserable i hope someone tortures and kills you but it makes me so mar becuaee youll never understand youll never get the pain and suffering youve put me through and when i inevidably find the appropriate time to kill myself my blood will be on your hands and before i go you better expect me to go fucking hannah baker fucking dark betty cooper whatever i will be your worst nightmare i deserve a good for her suicide and i hope grey will never be able to find a job when i tell everuone, and i mean everyone, i dont care befause at this point if i can come upnwith a plan that isnt too impulsive who gives a shit if i post my final exposee on facebook god isiund like hannah baker but you know what she was right and im right fuck you forever i hope every this whole world burns i hope everything burns i dont care is what i keep saying buti do care i do care a lot ajd i hopeaplnof i hese epople live horrible miserablenlifes then spend anotehr eternity of hell suffering I could kin lime from the witchs heart couldnt i but anyway theyll never get it theyll never understand the weight of what they did to me they ruined my fucking life you ruined everything for me i hate you i hate you more than i could even put into words i sound insane i KNOW is oumd imsane but who cares about me sounding insane anymore

Actually scratchall that my friwnd texted me and i remember my friends make me happynand inlove theknok fuck i cant fucking type fuck all the bad people but i love my friends holy shit do i have borderlinenpersonality disorder

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okay-j-hannah · 2 years

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Hii hannah, I've been reading your work for almost a month now and i just have to say im so glad i found you! ive only joined the doctor who fandom recently and haven't even watched all the seasons yet your fics has made me fallen in love with both ten and eleven! your fics are so damn comforting!! I was typing the ask and realised it was too long so I'm gonna send it in parts if that's alright with you? you wouldn't be able to answer immediately so I'll send it anyways ig lol

Hello my love!

AH! I LOVE Doctor Who. I was also a late comer to the fandom, I only got into it around 2019. It's taken me a long time to get through the entire show because when I watch one Doctor I have a hard time believing the next one will be just as good.

I also go through like an entire grieving period every regeneration. I put off finishing David's seasons for like months because I was so scared of how much I'd cry. That is what's happening with the twelfth doctor right now... I haven't finished his seasons because I'm scared of how sad I'll feel when he leaves.

The jump from ten to eleven was hard for me because I loved David WAY too much. But then I found Matt to be almost more of a comfort Doctor than David 😭

I'm so glad you've found my writing and have found it to be comforting. Of course you can send requests in parts! If you don't mind me answering them over time because I'd rather not spam my feed all in one day 😊

#okay j hannah #okayjhannah #fandomfantasia #hannahbeartalks #okayjhannah answer #anon ask okay j hannah #doctor who eleventh #doctor who tenth #doctor who x reader #doctor who #tenth doctor x reader #eleventh doctor x reader

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lutzlig · 3 years

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little lawyer having a gay little breakdown after connecting the dots in my little klavier gavin hannah montana au

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theamazingannie · 3 years

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I think it’s funny when people think I’m weird and then have no idea what I do in my free time. Like honey you have no idea

#i made a family in the Sims #starts off normal #the characters are from one of the books I’m ‘writing’#okay #i put them all in Halloween costumes #and in typical Annie fashion they are of course not packaged costumes but homemade #as in not from the spooky or seasons pack but made from normal clothes #what are their costumes you might ask #they are all characters from scary godmother of course #and yes that includes bugaboo #(tho to be fair the character playing bugaboo is very weird and specifically chose that character #also the outfit slaps #she’s Muslim and the sims isn’t great at completely modest clothing so it was a challenge but one I succeeded at)#ive been doing this for at least four hours #it’s April #it’s not even close to Halloween #on the bright side it did inspire me to write some excerpts from the book #and gave me some nice insight into some character development for one of the characters #she was going as hannah Marie but had an identity crisis cuz she’s sick of being seen as ‘cute’#anyways no one cares #also I should mention it is currently 6:27am #if that gives you any more insight into my life

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ggukkiedae · 2 years

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Moving In

notes:

set in early february 2022

wc: 2.1k

yoonmi gets the boys’ help while finally moving into her own apartment after twelve years of living with her members. they get a little sentimental while helping their makdungie settle in

(i know ive made so much yoonmi content recently aksjdhf but hannah, seri, and ari content coming soon!)

conversations written in italics are spoken in english

feedback is highly appreciated!

“Hey,” Yoonmi spoke into the phone with a smile on her face, “I know you’re busy with Child’s release and all, but I wanted to congratulate you. It’s amazing, Love. Everyone loves it, just like I told you they would. Anyway, don’t forget to rest, okay? I love you. Bye.”

A sigh slipped past her lips as she hung up on the voicemail. Her best friend, who was sitting next to her and driving them to her apparttment, looked at her in concern. She chose to fix her eyes on the moving scenery outside the window.

“Mark not picking up?” Jungkook asked her.

She hummed a little to confirm. “Yeah. He’s been constantly preparing with Sticker, Favorite, Universe, Child, and Glitch Mode. I’m just worried he’s gonna burn himself out.”

“Have a little more faith in him,” the 97 liner laughed while hitting her arm with the back of his hand. “The man’s debuted like four times, he’ll be fine. You planning anything for your anniversary?”

“Not this time, no.” A small sad smile made its way onto her face. “I want him to get as much rest as he possibly can, so I’ll probably just stop by his dorm for a short bit with food, then I’ll go back home. We have concert rehearsals, and I’ll have to set up my apartment by then, anyway.”

Ah, yes. Her new apartment that her members helped her pick. It was next to the Han river and near the main Bangtan dorm.

After a while of thinking about it while quarantining from her trip to America, Yoonmi had decided that it was about time to have her own space. She couldn’t keep living in the Bangtan dorm forever, especially when their breaks ended up with everyone in their own places while she remained at the dorm. It was lonely. Also, she frequently had guests over, and decided she wanted her dogs to live with her instead of with her brother like they used to.

That didn’t mean she wouldn’t constantly be at the main Bangtan dorm, though. She was already talking to the dog-sitter her brother had been hiring about taking care of her dogs while she was gone (which wouldn’t be too often because she likes bringing Dipper and Nala to work and to play with her members).

Anyway, that’s where she was headed now: to check on her apartment. She had already paid in full, so all she needed to do was to move things in. To her relief, the members offered to help in moving most of her stuff so she didn’t have to hire a moving company. Speaking of which…

“You don’t think my PC set is being destroyed in transit, do you?” Her gaze fixated on the car behind them through the rearview mirror. She was met with the stoic expression of one of her older members.

“Yoongi hyung’s got all your techy stuff,” Jungkook reassured her, “so relax. Stop being such a worrywart. Mark’s gonna get back to you soon with his cheesy sweet words as always, you’re moving into your new apartment, and the seven of us are all going to be invading your space for at least until the concert.”

She snorted. Of course. If anyone had been excited to see her new place, it was the rest of Bangtan. They had practically hounded Jungkook when the two maknaes got back from her contract officiation. It was funny to her how they were even planning the little visit days her family and close friends had scheduled as if it were their own place. Of course, to her, it was their place, it just happened to be under her name.

Jungkook took a sip of his coffee before placing it back down and giving her a quick glance. “So, when are the people visiting?”

“Well, Hannah unnie is bringing the dreamies once their promotion is over, so that’ll be a while,” she listed down while counting on her fingers. “Jeonginie, Seri, Beomgyu, Jiminie, and Heeseungie are coming next week, and my brothers and Felix oppa are coming tomorrow because they want to help set up the room I’m saving for them. Of course, unnie and the littles are coming, too.”

“Speaking of setting rooms up, which do you want to do first, huh?” Jungkook’s excited voice made her laugh. “Your work room? Your bedroom? Oh! My room?”

She rolled her eyes at him playfully. She was planning on having a room designated for her members, but Jungkook had claimed that he’d be hermitting in her apartment, so it was his room.

“I think the kitchen first so I can make sure we all don’t go hungry,” she laughed. “Then my room and the Bangtan room because god knows how cranky you guys will get if you don’t have a proper place to rest. Did you guys even bring clothes?”

“All our suitcases are with Jin hyung in the van,” Jungkook laughed, “because he lost rock paper scissors. Does the closet in that room have seven sections?”

Even more laughter escaped them. She wouldn’t tell them, but the biggest room in her apartment would be for Bangtan, so she was sure there’d be enough space. Now, for the task at hand: actually fixing things.

“Food’s ready!”

Her voice sounded throughout the apartment a little louder than she wanted. In an almost comical manner, the members had come running into the would-be living room, settling around the small wooden coffee table she had assembled earlier. The dining table would have to wait.

“I made pajeon and jjajangmyeon,” she grinned while placing down the main dishes. “I hope you oppas just napped on the mattresses first.”

“We got some of your furniture together,” Yoongi gently tugged her next to him on the floor. “You’re lucky everyone is more experienced with building furniture now than they were during that one Run episode.”

“Right,” she laughed.

The group uncharacteristically were chatty while eating. It was as normal as a family dinner could get. At some point, someone even connected to her speakers and started playing mid-2000s and early-2010s r&b and hip hop songs.

Eventually, lunch was finished, and they had wordlessly split off into different tasks. Hoseok and Taehyung had cleared up the table and headed to do their dishes. Namjoon and Yoongi were going around her apartment to see if everything was okay and nothing was off before they would get started on helping with the furniture as well. Jimin and Seokjin had gone back to fixing up her furniture, which left her and Jungkook in the living room sorting out all the boxes for which goes where.

A sense of deja vu filled her as Ne-Yo songs blasted through the hallway, Taehyung’s adlibs and Hoseok’s laughter joining in the mix. Everything seemed so familiar, and she couldn’t help but feel nostalgic.

“A little help would be nice,” Jungkook’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She looked over at him, only to laugh at his struggle with the tent for her dogs. “This thing is huge.”

She shrugged and went back to opening the boxes in front of her. “Dipper’s a big boy. And we’re supposed to be sorting which goes in which room. We can fix my dogs’ bed later.”

“I‘m just getting a head start on your living room,” He put the tent away in a corner for later then sat next to her. “So, why are you all smiley? Boyfriend text you back yet?”

“No,” she began, “I was just thinking. Doesn’t it feel like back when we were way younger? Like back when we were first moving dorms?”

The thought just further processed in her head as she said it out loud. That’s why everything felt so familiar to her. Everyone practically took on the roles they had from their first move, and the ambience was there, too. The excited chatter over jjajangmyeon, the old music they’d listen to, the members conspiring to make her do the easier work, everything was the same.

The only difference was everyone was so much older now. That, and the fact that they weren’t struggling to make it by anymore. At least, not in the way they used to.

She thought back to that time. It was just before the public’s view of her shifted and she tried to subtly distance herself from her members. Not that it worked. They had naturally grown tactile to one another as they trained together, so it didn’t work as well as past her had hoped.

Despite that shift in the opinions about her, she had enjoyed that era of her life. She had a new family, she was being more hands on with their music than ever in her life at that point, her members were getting more giddy when they saw their sudden increase in views and attention.

A wave of nostalgia hit her as the mixed feelings from that time stirred in her chest once again, led by the excitement of what was to come in the future.

Jungkook knocked on the side of her head. “Hello? I answered your question, but I don’t think you heard me. Looks like you got stuck time travelling, huh?”

“A little,” she admitted as she opened up another box. The very top held the first gift SHINee had bought her that wasn’t their merch, which she coincidentally remembers wearing the day of their first move. She slipped it on. “Younger us would be so proud of us, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook shrugged while fixing her hair out of the jacket, “but I also think there would be some mixed feelings about it, especially from Namjoon hyung, Yoongi hyung, and Jimin hyung.”

She looked up at her best friend with pursed lips. “Sometimes I want to go back and tell a younger me that she’d be okay. That she’d have her family, you guys, her boyfriend, her friends, and people who like her that would be by her side for a long time.”

“Forever,” the 97 liner corrected her while slapping at her hand. She hadn’t even noticed her nails digging into her thighs. “We’re by your side forever. You can’t return me, I burnt the receipt then threw away the ashes in the sea.”

She just rolled her eyes and shoved at him. The older of the best friends put a dramatically offended face on, making her laugh. Her laughter only grew and mixed with his when he got up, threw her over his shoulder, and started bouncing around the room.

Of course, she knew exactly what he was doing. He did this exact same thing on the day of their move. Her heart warmed, realizing that they had the same thoughts and that he was playing it up, too. Maybe they could get the rest of the members in on it.

“What are you two doing?”

Speak of the devil, as soon as she thought of the other members, Seokjin had appeared in the doorway, with everyone following in suit.

Hoseok had taken out his phone to take a video, while Yoongi started talking.

“Jungkook, put her down,” Yoongi lightly nagged as Jimin went to stop the two maknaes from bouncing off the walls. “We don’t want you two to pull a muscle or throw up your lunches.”

“He started it!” “She started it!”

The two maknaes were quick to blame each other while Jungkook, physically coaxed by Jimin, put her back on her feet. The two burst into laughter at their synchronized words, echoing their younger selves who had knocked over the shoe rack (thank god they didn’t knock anything over this time around).

Taehyung had spotted this as an opportunity and pulled the other three members of maknae line into a tight hug, effectively knocking them over into the pile of empty boxes Yoonmi and Jungkook had made. Yoongi just shook his head in amusement before heading to the kitchen where hopefully some of the cooling packs he had stuck in the freezer would be cold enough. There were bound to be bruises amidst the younger half of the group. Meanwhile, Hoseok had moved closer to film the little dog pile.

“Sometimes, I think they haven’t grown up,” Seokjin’s voice was laced with fondness amidst his fake annoyance. The eldest turned to their leader, who had been leaning on the door frame and watching everything unfold with a knowing smile on his face. “So, leader. Do you want to do something about this?”

Namjoon shook his head. “Let them be, hyung. They’re just reliving old memories. This is exactly what they did when we moved into the three-room dorm.”

“I know.” Seokjin had sounded softer than he did earlier on.

The two watched the rest of the members in silence, letting their laughter and smiles fill the apartment. And, if you asked any of the 8 members, they could have sworn everything faded to early 2015 for just a little while.

TAGLIST: @sunflower-0180 @seaoffangirling @yourwonderbelle @1-800-enhypennabi @kamiiyou @strwberrydinosaur @uraveragefangirlsposts @caratinylyfe @1-800-minji @one16core @kimhyejin3108 @chansols @akshverse @toriluvsfics @billboard-singer (taglist/s open! just send a dm or an ask <3) (bold can’t be tagged :(( )

#bts 8th member #bts female member #bts female addition #miya #yoonmi #kim yoonmi

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