#anyways no more negative talk sorry i just wanted to rant about that

[wollfling]

My problematic trait is that when I see the ai art hashtag, i care about the artwork 100% less. The ai stealing from other artists is a whole conversation, but like I just watched a video about using ai to create thumbnail references for paintings/illustrations and it's so disheartening.. and apparently it's hard for artists to keep up with ai (competitively for views, sales, etc) so they turn to it to help speed their process... but then so much value of art has been lost... isn't it? Specifically in terms of conceptual pieces. Life drawings etc aren't really what I'm thinking abt here. And I've seen people talk about how like, ai isn't going to last long specifically because it "steals" images and would cause problems legally, but if artists are just using it to "do the thinking for them" for the foundational concept and composition it's a different story? Of course people are allowed to do whatever they want but it just feels so disheartening.. I feel it's just caused by the pressure to post and please algorithms etc to be able to actually make a living off of your art. I think ultimately I feel sad that artists are put in this position.

#i realize this is a complicated topic but right now personally i hate it #how many of us consider art as expression? what are we expressing if we get ai to mash a bunch of keywords into an image for #us to use as the thumbnail ref. like. and ofc it depends whatever type of art it is like i said #im doing my best bc i dont want to offend anyone or hurt their feelings o<-< but if im honest i hate it all. genuinely. #artists saying their using it bc they have to adapt #bc they cant keep up otherwise (and in compitition with ai art accounts) its just. this is so sad. i hate that this is where we are heading #i dont dislike anyone for using it im not trying to come off that way. #i dislike that artists are being pushed into a corner like this. its just sad no other word for it lol #anyways no more negative talk sorry i just wanted to rant about that #pls dont lose yourself and your art trying to please social media. try your best to set aside time to create art just for yourself too ;_; #theyre * not their... whateva lol

[fromdarzaitoleeza]

Ahh it's the last day of 2023 already?

I am expecting a call from a friend although the possibility of this happening is very slim it always felt nice to hear the voice of an old friend ( I'm not a text person I've realised this over time but I am stuck to be a text person) .

I can't wait for spring to come in 2024 , spring provides an intense amount of healing to my soul.

The next four months are very crucial in my life if they go well I can survive the rest of the year, I have died a couple of times this year and I am amazed that I am alive i didn't honestly thought i would make it to the end of this year ( especially in the last 3 months , I badly needed help but i didn't wanted others to pity me so i spoke to none about it ) anyways I don't want to talk about it , i don't want to make it sound blue than it already is,a i am really sorry about the fact all my posts are blue I sincerely wish it wasn't that way( altho i haven't posted anything here with as much as devotion I use to do , partly cuz i created an Instagram acc but that's not all reason I ve been sad nonetheless) and sorry for all the "anon/asks" that i haven't answered

I have made no achievements this year and there is little to no progress towards my self love or self growth, but I think that's okay I can do it in the upcoming year, time flies so quick i can't believe Its been so many years since I was 16 I miss being 16 honestly I had more in me back then than i have now , i have lost of confidence my vision and my smile over the years it's as if I am very different person now , i certainly wish I wasn't this way i really thought i would be so much more and better in my early 20s but it is what it is , acceptance is haredest of all emotions in my opinion , you know things are harder to accept when you know you could have done better .

Just like in the last 2 years even this year I didn't make any real life friends with whom I can hang out with i think it's partly due to the fact some people are destined to be alone and I am afraid to admit I am one of them , I did make 2 online friends this year .

I don't want to share any life lessons i learnt this year but if there is something i would love to share is choose yourself one more time each time you feel it's the last time you are doing it , choose one more time to live,one more time to hope, one more time to have faith , one more time to start again [ the fact I am the one telling you this is rediciculosly funny ] .

Unlike most people i don't have a lot of goals for the new year I just got things i want to avoid ( idk if that's the same thing?) Avoid my leftover heart's heartbreak, avoiding what takes away my peace, avoiding what can cause me discomfort, avoiding things that make me question myself ( in any negative way) ,i think that's a little too much but that's it .

As I was writing this Google photos sent me a notification saying " 3 years back today with a photo of mine " and it broke my heart a little, now I am questioning myself how did i let so much happen to me , I wish I treated certain things as the last time instead of always stupidly believing in future ( my worse trait yes).

There is a lot to say as always, i wonder if I open my mouth i would never stop sharing things that go inside my mind , but i also know there is no use of it if i can't find people who can understand it , maybe that's how I end up ranting here .

Not to mention I love people who are patient, i believe in the near future i would only like to talk with people who could be patient with me and with my silence . I believe everyone deserves people who can be patient with them .

Nothing really matters in the end but at the same time everything you do matters ❤️‍🩹

#i was awaken by a dog crying near my apartment and soon other dogs joined him #i am half awake half drowsy

[kyokikia]

Im curious, do people even write for uta? Do people like uta at all?? If you cant tell, she's my favorite female character! I dont see anyone talking about her 😭😭

i might write for her if someone requests it (when requests are back open) but she might be the only one piece female i would ever write for so, sorry for that

Has anyone else on here watched film red? I wanna talk about it with someone because its one of my favorite movies, currently listening to new genesis as i speak (ado's singing was HEAVENLY in the movie)

Ado's singing is so heavenly, and she honestly captured the supposed greatness of uta's voice PERFECTLY. I watched the movie in sub so i couldnt hear amalee dubbing uts, but honestly, i listened to amalee's covers of the songs, and i think the dub watchers were robbed from hearing amalee's covers. She covered all the songs PERFECTLY! She did the spell part of tot musica perfectly aswell and i adore Amalee's and Ado's works so much!

SPOILERS UNDER KEEP READING FOR ONE PIECE: FILM RED

I think she's a little crazy but i love her a lot, what she did in the movie is honestly justifiable. I love her design so much, i wanna cosplay her but i got my bills to pay 😭 i'll do it once i get extra money tho, anyway, i feel so bad for her because for years she thought that shanks had abandoned her but turns out she was manipulated into singing tot musica by the people of Elegia 😭 i feel so bad knowing on how much she probably blamed herself for what happened but it wasnt her fault at all

Shanks is so selfless i swear, the way he just chose to take the blame instead so uta wouldn't blame herself and so she could make other people happy with her voice aswell 😭♥️

Watching uta descend into madness, as her mental health and physical state reach its absolute lowest was so heartbreaking (but the movie was so cool to watch!)

As you probably know, the wakeshrooms cause the person who eats them to stay awake until they die, and makes them more aggravated and brings out their negative emotions more, so i can see why she became more deranged as the movie went on. i feel so bad for her she deserves better 😭 i see why she was driven into madness after meeting shanks after all those years

Being kept on that island for so many years mustve been so depressing, so she was in a bad mental state most of her life. Kept alone, isolated with the entire world other than Gordon, not knowing anything going on in the world is so sad

I can see why she hates pirates so much, seeing as she cares so much about her fans (that she would trap them in the sing sing world just so they wouldnt have to deal with pirates anymore and for a 'new era' which she had good intentions with, but honestly it wasnt that great of an idea) she had the idea that all pirates were bad, and seeing all her fans sending her video mail about it probably amplified her hatred.

I took notice on how by the time uta had to sing tot musica, she was in her absolute worst mental and physical state, some of the words were linked together some words were messed up, i think ado captured on how much of a terrible state uta was in by the time she was forced to sing the song perfectly, i adore ado's singing in film red so much

I might've misunderstood uta honestly, i might've done her wrong in this post, i also realize this entire post is a rant but oh well i honestly just wanted to talk about her, anyone wanna tell me their thoughts on film red?

#uta x reader #uta film red #one piece #one piece x reader #one piece rant #kyokikia #uta one piece #op x reader #uta #ado #one piece film red #one piece imagine #one piece x you #one piece fluff #amalee

[slashthrashandcrash]

Do... do you think Legion ever tried to do some version of a shovel talk to Meg? Like, not in a "break his heart and we break you" way, but in a "if Ghostface is going to date a survivor, he's going to date the Best Survivor, SO GET READY FOR SURVIVAL TRAINING: LEGION EDITION!!!!" way

The advice could be genuinely helpful, absolutely terrible, or somewhere in between. Not sure which is funniest. The training is mostly just the four of them taking turns chasing Meg around, while the three not running are yelling tips at Meg: ranging from survival tips to random facts they know about Ghostface.

What do you think?

GOD BLOB AND I HAVE LITERALLY TALKED ABOUT LEGION BEING SO NOSY IN GHOSTFACE/MEG'S RELATIONSHIP

I very much love the idea of them trying to be like "So, you wanna date our not-dad, huh?" when Ghostface first shows interest in her, to which Meg responds "No, actually. I very vehemently and explicitly do not want to date this freak of a man. I never want to be within 300 yards of him again for the rest of my life." But much like Danny, they're not taking her no for an answer, clearly she thinks she's too good for him then and this will not stand.

It's a no-win situation for her anyways. If she tells them she doesn't like him, they think she's being stuck up and how could you not like someone as cool and epic as Ghostface, you should be honored!! If she starts reciprocating for Danny, they tell her she's not good enough and to stay in her lane with the other Survivors. When Legion is alone with Danny, they call him a cringeass old man. Buncha sourpatch kids, honestly. Nosy as all hell because they don't like the idea of having to share Danny's attention (even when most of it is negative attention because they're lil shits) with someone else.

BUT...I think Legion coming around and trying to help out Meg in their own kinda useless, kinda dumb way would be a "sweet" bonding moment between them all. They sort of become a middle man between Danny and Meg since they're so insistent of inserting themselves in their relationship -- They tell Danny about the things Meg says she likes so he can cater to those, and they tell Meg about the things that can make him rant for hours if she ever needs a quick distraction for when she's not in the mood to deal with his antics.

I also think it would be really funny if Legion is much more well behaved and mannered with Meg compared to Danny, not necessarily because they respect her, but because it's hilarious watching him get pissed about it. Ghostface tells them not to do something and they'll look him dead in the eyes while doing it anyways. Meg tells them not to do the same thing 5 minutes later and they're like "yes ma'am, sorry ma'am [puts thing back how they found it]". They're getting along with your girlfriend man, you gotta pick your battles and also understand you're going to lose every single one when pitted against teenagers.

Bonus: Legion only found out they were "dating" because they caught Danny sneaking off between trials to go to the survivor camp and assumed he was cheating the system or something to be the Entity's golden boy. Until they opened the locker and found him making out with Meg. It was extremely awkward. Legion cornered her during the next trial they had together for all the hot gossip.

Bonus Bonus: Every time Legion snags Meg to interrogate and/or train her, it's eventually interrupted by Danny (because those brats have been quiet and out of sight for too long and he's getting suspicious) who slings Meg over his shoulder and tells them to stop harassing her. They do not agree to these terms and conditions.

#ask #thecatchat #ask me about anything ghostmeg or legion related and it is impossible for me not to reply with multiparagraphs

[pralinesims]

Uhm, hi. Hello?

First of all, I am sorry for worrying some of you guys so much. I truly can't express how grateful I am to everyone sending me messages, trying to get in touch with me, supporting me, etc... I read all of your messages, I will try to reply to them piece by piece. I am so sorry that I can't do that immediately, but currently I am not in the capacity for that. Please forgive me, and know that your words reached my heart, I seriously mean it.

How should I start? Recent months were... Rough. Damn rough. Mentally, I've been the lowest I've ever been in my life. Even lower than usual. Bottom-pit low. It's uncomfortable talking about it, but it was... hazardous, if you understand. Won't say more about it. Around christmas holidays, my depression started getting more extreme. Main catalysts were probably the feelings of abandonment, issues with myself, loneliness + social disappointments, family deaths that happened, experienced sicknesses, world events, etc. All this stuff kept piling up with time, bad things never seemed to end, day by day I felt more awful and wanted to disappear. I also deleted all social media from my phone, plus I changed my phone number. I just was sick of everything.

After a few months of feeling like shit, I thought I would get a little bit better. Nope. Covid had to strike 2 of my immediate family members, and me. Worsening my mental health again, plus physical health after thinking I maybe recovered a bit. This put a real blow to my mental health once more, after desperately attempting for years to not catch it. And it still got me, while being 99% only at home. FML.

That virus lasted 3 around weeks, it was horrid. Had all kinds of different symptoms in a limbo, when thinking it would get better, it got worse again. Coughed like a madman, and still do. Some symptoms don't seem to disappear yet, even after testing negative for weeks now. My asthma got worse aswell, breathing is way harder and I get dizzy real fast.

I still don't feel good mentally at this moment, but at least not as severe, and a bit better to allow myself to go online a bit and interact here a little. Baby steps, right? I can't promise I will be online now all the time, but it's been first for me now since a few months. I realize I have to adjust to this again. Feels nice, and a bit scary too if I'm being honest. Kinda unfamiliar to do social stuff again. I really missed being here, but not being online also felt good. It was what I needed, everything else would have overwhelmed me.

Not everything was completely negative though, during my abstinence, I got into some new interests while trying to stay sane and keep myself distracted & occupied (or you could say, reawakened some old hobbies): I've really gotten into fragrances, baking, collecting dolls, decorating with flowers, and drinking tea. Yes, me. Some might remember my rants about tea tasting like warm water. During covid, after losing my taste and smell senses, I learned to appreciate softer taste profiles. I'm consuming almost every day something that contains tea leaves. Call that growth.

Anyways, thank you for reading this. I don't know how to end this, and this text just doesn't need to be longer. I'm so happy for you having interest in me as a person, and not only as a CC creator and Sims player. Much love to you 🤍

#personal

[thecluelessdoctor]

*sigh*

I'm going to be talking about a game today.

For now, we won't be talking about the things happening with the creator. Only the game. I've been wanting to talk about this game for a while, but haven't had the guts to due to the creator and the horrible things she and her husband have done.

Today I'm going to be talking about the game Your Boyfriend. Yup. T h a t o n e

Like I said, for this post we will only talk about the game. Nothing on the creators because I don't believe it is my place. If you want to know about it, I suggest this video

the video link is unavailable, so you'll need to find it manually.

Again, we will ONLY be talking about the game.

So, trigger warnings: obsessive love disorder, ranting, you boyfriend game, murder, etc.

So without further adue, let us proceed.

So if you don't know what YBG is, YBG is a visual novel horror game about a man who is obsessed romantically and sexually with you the player.

The man will be referred to as Peter seeing how that's his name- anyway.

First, let me say I've only seen up to day 2- or whatever day He kidnaps you. Yeah he does that. So my summary might not be accurate

So the game begins with you being at the park, your favorite spot. Here you meet Peter who claims to be your boyfriend. You can either go with it, or not. Your choice.

I haven't seen a playthrough in a while, so this is rusty. You later go to a flower store and meet him again, reaching for the same rose you are. He's like 'oh sorry' and you can react negatively or positively. Reacting negatively will make him hold the rose super right he bleeds.

Anyway the day ends with him at your window. Spooky/sarc.

Already right off the this sucks. But we ain't done we have day two.

In day two you go to your job, and you meet TK, your fellow employee, and someone who has romantic feeling for you.

During your job you see Peter again. Again being able to react negatively or positively, each ending in a different reaction. If you act positively, he'll walk you home, in which Dom..? I think, your landlord says your roommate hasn't been paying their share and might need to be kicked out. Peter offers to live with you with sexual intentions. If you agree your roommate will appear and be pissy.

Now if you react negatively, go finish your shift and go home, your roommate, Lucy is her name, noticing you look distraught. You two get high or drink, I don't remember, and I think y'all end up fucking.

Now here is where the next part comes into play, where you have a horrible headache or smt and leave your room to find pills. You see a figure in front of you, and you think it's Lucy and they are offering pills. Before you can react, they are shoved into your mouth and your mouth is covered and you hear Peter say something so forgettable that I don't care.

Nice. This game STINKS.

Not only does it romanticize a person with obsessive love disorder, it's just not scary!!! Yes the concept is truly horrifying, seeing how it's something that has, and does happen!! But this game treats it like us haha silly. And it's like. FUCK NO.

This game HAD potential.

Let's also talk about the style of the game- the visual novel style.

This style is only good for horror Under VERY specific circumstances. It needs to be done right, and holy hell does this game not do it right. It's terrible. The game just tells you the thing to fear outright or shows you completely. There isn't any FEAR here. It's not SCARY. Orginally when I first learned of the game, I was pretty young, but I still had my obsession with psychology, so I thought this game was going to be a psychological horror, and show the fear behind this concept.

BUT NO.

IT JUST THROWS JT AWAY GOD DAMNIT!!! INTO THE BIN!!!

And I HATE how this game claims to be mature for more than the sex themes!! Fuck, bendy and the ink machine, a mascot horror game for 13 plus is scarier than this shit.

Anyway I hate this game <3

#ybg lucy #yb game #ybgpeter #fuboo #Fuck fuboo #Anti-fuboo #Anti-ybg #Ybg critical #your boyfriend #yb fandom #I hate this game so much #I want it to b u r n

[gg-selvish]

please share your analysis

i talked about this on twitter so forgive me those who are gonna see me repeating myself but that clip is just so fascinating if u take a step back and compare it to the way dnn interact with each other because theyre all friends and theyre all in love or whatever but their duo dynamics are so drastically different from each other and the way they balance out as a trio is like the whole reason i ship them. every duo works despite how the tropes/dynamics/dare i say behaviours are unique yet the trio is like perfect balance

anyway. let's talk about george saying 'wait'

george has self-imposed rules of how he interacts with people and how others interact with him. we learned this from everyone in the uk and customer service workers who have talked about him where he can be a sweet people pleaser while still being a little spicy but he does know how to be normal. then he gets to florida with people he's incredibly close to and comfortable with and all we hear is 'george sucks' 'george is a menace' 'george is crazy' so as we all know people are multi-facetted, but i think george is especially multi-facetted and even multi-faced at times. there's like a different george for streaming, videos, in call, uk irl, florida/la irl, and then everything we don't see is a whole other george i can't even begin to think about

but im getting distracted. the wait. the dnn.

when george is talking to people he's close to, especially dream, sapnap, and now karl as they've gotten closer, he has more rules. like karl and sapnap pointed out in banter he has long pauses in between sentences and gets frustrated when he's interrupted when people don't know they're interrupting him so he just gets louder and more persistent and it drives sapnap especially crazy. it's so fascinating to me how things that dream is comfortable with an appreciates about george drives sapnap right up the wall. because he still loves george so much, you can tell it from the way theyre glued to each other and talk about each other constantly even if its negative. if he didnt like him he wouldnt be sharing stories about him constantly, yknow? he's mad and ranting but theres this lingering fondness under the frustration that brings me back to 'we wouldnt be friends if we werent already friends' and a lot of people took that as 'i dont want to be friends with you' but i read it as 'we're such a good friends you can do anything to me and no matter how pissed i get we're still gonna be friends because i decided 7 years ago that we're stuck together'

sorry sorry. the wait. the wait.

george does this all the time in calls. we see him do it with solo streams too. he reeeeeeeeeeeeally draws out goodbyes because i think he hates them. he says hes leaving and gonna end then reads pieces of chat or shares another anecdote then says hes gonna end again and doesnt again.

for dream this is amazing. he loves listening to george no matter what and entertains all of his weird mannerisms easy as breathing because he's a simp for him and infatuated and we all know this. a telling example of this is when theyre streaming and george does this exact thing

g: im leaving

d: ok bye

g: wait *says something else*

d: *waits and listens*

and then they get sucked into another conversation and go on or they move to an offstream call to continue what they were talking about because dream would listen to george read the newspaper and be enthralled. we know this. dnf is real. but sapnap is different

sapnap is george's favourite thing to needle. he pokes and prods at him until he's riled up and frustrated which is puts george on the moon with amusement because it makes him laugh and it means sapnap cares about him. their bickering back and forth is pure quality time, and when george gets quiet and starts to get soft it's sapnap's turn to make him uncomfortable. this is what they do... they find each other's tender underbelly and wait for the right moment to deliver a blow. it's a love language and a reminder of their dynamic which is fighty and spicy and always on their toes. they have their soft and sweet moments but their preferred way of interacting is lightning speed fighting back and forth to feel alive

but the wait.

george did exactly what he does with dream in that clip. says he wants to leave and is told not to leave and says hes gonna leave anyway so sapnap, who isnt dream, goes 'ok dude bye' and then HE WAITS. HE WAITS FOR GEORGE TO SAY WAIT BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE DOESNT WANT HIM TO HANG UP YET HE WANTS HIM TO WAIT. HE KNOWS THE RULES. george says wait and sapnap hangs up.

sapnap is satisfied with himself for putting george in his place and george doesnt get that from a lot of people 'has anyone ever said no to you?' sapnap has. sapnap does it all the time. sapnap is a firm hand on george's scruff and keeps him from playing mind games like an expert zookeeper and it's absolutely fascinating to watch.

i would love to see a moment like this in a threeway call and see how it balances out. it's literally like a lab experiment to me

#ask #thank u for letting me pop off this was fun

[bunglegaydogs]

Oda and Dazai's relationship

Forewarning now that I've finished it; This is fucking long. Like, I;m not joking, this is almost 10,000 words. Anyways, if you want to read some of it, enjoy! <3

The things in this anime that get me are Odasaku and Dazai, Dazai and Chuuya, Yosano and Ranpo and Ranpo and Fukuzawa. Those dynamics FUCK ME UP.

And so because I like to torture myself with tears and emotions, I'm going to go on a rant about Dazai and Odasaku, because holy shit I finished The Dark Era LN yesterday and I was crying so hard that I was dizzy, shaking and could not breathe. It fucked me up fr. Anyways, I love their father/son / brother dynamic, so :)

I don't even know where to start with this? It's going to be an incoherent and incomprehensible rant, but I need to get my shit out there.

Their relationship is one of the most intrinsic and gut wrenching. Not just on a familial level, but on a personal level. Despite them never being personal with each other, they knew each other the best. Literal best friends. And that's what's so heartbreaking about Oda's death. Dazai never opens up to anyone, he never shows his true face, and always hides his intentions. When he shows his "true face" it's for a split second, blink and you miss it. As I said in a previous post, remember the Wan! jumpscare? Where Atsushi got very upset about Dazai talking about how when he goes, he wants to go out just as beautifully? That shit hurted. But it was a brief slip of the mask. After that, he remains silent. Not a word. He just stares at the fireworks, dull lifeless eyes looking up at the sky. And, when Dazai shows these sides to Odasaku, Odasaku is clearly upset by them, showing how deeply he cares for Dazai. The Dark Era LN is literally the best thing ever for going into the itty bitty of their relationship, I actually love it so much, and I will be referencing it a thousand times in this.

First episode, 15 minutes in and we already see that Dazai cares a lot for Oda. Just after Oda gets sniped in Ango's room and he phones Dazai, Dazai at first jokes about how he never usually calls him. When he realises that Oda is in a serious situation, his demeanour changes. And when Oda says that he has the Silver Oracle on hand if need be, "There's no need. Don't push yourself too hard. Wait for me to get there." Just that one sentence and we see how much he cares for him. He's being protective, making sure that Oda doesn't get himself hurt. Then, of course, comes the actual alley scene where we see a much darker side to Dazai and the anime as a whole, however it's where we also see how Dazai's mindset and habits affect Odasaku negatively, and how upset he gets when Dazai pulls this shit. There are some vital differences in the anime and with the LN which really fucking get me. The LN goes more in depth of course, but we hear the emotion in the anime. But, the book is written so well that we know the emotions anyway.

“I can see you’re not happy… I’m sorry for compromising your principles.”

His smile weakened as he spoke. Dazai usually never apologized to anyone, which was why what he said really rang true.

This always fucking gets me. He genuinely cares about what Odasaku thinks and how he feels. Dazai, who generally does not care for the emotions of others and such, apolgises when he sees that Oda is upset by something that he's done and is affected by Oda being upset, which is something that, when it comes to Dazai, is shocking, as we hardly ever see that side of him. The majority of the times that we do (honestly, if we ever do) is with Odasaku. A genuine deep-rooted affection and fondness for someone else. Yes, he deeply cares about those in the ADA, but not to the extent that he cared about Oda. He is concerned for those in the Agency's wellbeing, of course. But he's never been cared for by anyone but Odasaku before. The Agency all have deep trust between them, but Dazai will never ever show his true self to any of them. He is a guarded person, never letting anybody see his true intentions or if he's truly hurting. Odasaku has been the only one to ever see that. One of Odasaku's regrets whilst he was dying was that he never tried to get Dazai to speak up about his issues; in the LN it has such a good way of explaining how he feels about it and it tears my heart apart.

“Your organization’s called Mimic, right?” Dazai asked the man, but he didn’t reply. He didn’t even blink. “I’m not expecting an answer. To tell the truth, I admire you guys. No other organization has tried to take the Mafia head-on like this before. And nobody has ever successfully managed to point their gun at me like this with the intent to kill, either.”

Dazai faced the attacker, then began to walk toward him as if he were taking a stroll through his garden.

“Dazai, stop,” I begged in a hushed tone.

“I hope you can see the excitement in my eyes, too.” Dazai continued to address the enemy who was holding him at gunpoint. “If you just squeeze your finger ever so slightly, you can give me precisely what I crave most. The only thing I’m afraid of is that you’ll miss.”

His lips curled as he approached the man. The muzzle was now fewer than ten feet away.

“You need to aim for the heart or the head. I recommend the head. You only get one chance, though. My colleagues here won’t be kind enough to give you another.” Dazai tapped the middle of his forehead right over his eyebrows a few times. “But I know you can do it. You’re a sniper, aren’t you? I can still see the imprint from the sniper rifle on your cheek. You’re not the spotter.”

“Now shoot. Right here. You can’t miss from this close up.” Dazai grinned from ear to ear. “You’ll be killed whether or not you shoot, so just bury the enemy executive before you go.”

“Dazai!” I screamed. I felt as though we were thousands of miles apart.

“Please take me with you. Awaken me from this oxidizing world of a dream. Come, now. Shoot.”

Still pointing at his forehead, Dazai closed in on the enemy with a smile that could’ve even been described as peaceful.

The attacker bit his lip and tightened his finger around the trigger.

—He’s at his breaking point!

The sniper and I fired almost simultaneously.

Two flashes of light flooded the alley.

Shot in the arm, the man spun around.

Dazai violently bent backward after being shot point-blank.

A split second like a blue flash of lightning.

A never-ending instant.

Then time began to move again.

Immediately, Dazai’s men showered the enemy with bullets as he spun from the impact of my shot. Like a rag being pummeled by a waterfall, the man was thrown backward, scattering flesh and blood until he perished.

Leaning away, Dazai took two, three steps back before stopping.

“…………How unfortunate,” he lamented, still bent over. “Looks like I didn’t manage to die this time, either.”

Dazai lifted his head up. The skin on the side of his head, slightly above his right ear, was slit open and bleeding.

The bullet had just missed.

I looked at Dazai. There was something there invisible to the human eye. You could’ve called it demons of the mind—something that could never be seen—just something compelled to destroy all.

“Sorry to shock you like that.” Noticing my gaze, Dazai scratched the side of his head and grinned. “Pretty realistic acting, right? I knew from the start that he would miss. The imprint from the sniper rifle was on his left cheek, meaning that was the side he used to shoot. In other words, he’s left-handed, but he was holding the pistol in his right hand. So he was going to shoot with his nondominant hand, he could barely even stand on those wobbly legs, and to make matters worse, he was using that old-fashioned gun. The only way he would have hit me was if he pressed the muzzle against my body.”

I didn’t say anything. I just stared at Dazai as he explained with a smile.

“All I had to do was talk to him to buy some time until his arm got tired. If I slowly walked toward him, he wouldn’t be able to shoot straight away. The rest was in your hands, Odasaku. I knew you would do something. Pretty logical, right?”

“Yeah.”

That was all I said. I didn’t have anything else to add. Had our ranks or relations been any different, I probably would’ve punched him right then. However, I am me, and there was nothing I could do to him.

After returning my gun to its holster, I turned my back to Dazai and began walking away. With every step I took, I felt as if the ground were going to collapse, creating a bottomless hole that I would fall through for an eternity.

Dazai’s expression as he placed a finger on his forehead and approached the enemy—that of a child about to burst into tears—remained burned into my eyes.

Sorry for the long extract. Just thought the whole scene was the most effective way of showing it.

Anyways, this is one of the scenes that fucks me up the most.

Because through Odasaku's eyes, all that he sees here is a lost child, pleading and crying out for help. Despite Dazai being 18, to Oda he's still young (which, he is. 18 is fucking young.) to him. When he sees Dazai like this, he grows protective. He is rattled and very clearly shaken. The difference between the LN and the anime here is that Odasaku in the anime tells him to be quiet, because he's "heard enough". He knows that Dazai is just chatting a bit of wham.

"Dazai, stop," I begged in a hushed tone.

He's upset. Odasaku is a fucking expert at hiding his emotions, as we see when Mori tells him that Ango is missing. He expresses absolutely nothing, the twitch of his finger being the only giveaway. Here, we see how emotionally distressed he is by Dazai's actions, showing how much he truly cares for Dazai.

“Now shoot. Right here. You can’t miss from this close up.” Dazai grinned from ear to ear. “You’ll be killed whether or not you shoot, so just bury the enemy executive before you go.”

“Dazai!” I screamed. I felt as though we were thousands of miles apart.

This, once again, shows just how distressed he is. This scene fucking breaks me. He feels so far away from Dazai, because nobody can fucking reach him. Dazai's so far gone into this darkness that he's shrouded himself and found himself in that nobody can ever reach him. They can't pull him back from that ledge.

Dazai violently bent backward after being shot point-blank.

A split second like a blue flash of lightning.

A never-ending instant.

Then time began to move again.

He is fucking distressed here. Odasaku isn't doing okay, because he's scared that Dazai is dead. However, despite him knwoing he's not thanks to Flawless, he's still fucking terrified and shaken.

I looked at Dazai. There was something there invisible to the human eye. You could’ve called it demons of the mind—something that could never be seen—just something compelled to destroy all.

Oda sees more than what everyone else sees; everyone else sees a sociopathic suicidal maniac who's strange and quirky and has a weird fucking goofy side to him. However, Oda sees more to Dazai than this. Another thing to mention is that whilst everyone looks at Dazai and thinks "Wow, he seems so young for the amount of achievements in the mafia that he has. Scary kid." Odasaku sees Dazai as a child who is in need of help, a crying child who seeks someone to love and care for him. A lonely child.

That was all I said. I didn’t have anything else to add. Had our ranks or relations been any different, I probably would’ve punched him right then. However, I am me, and there was nothing I could do to him.

After returning my gun to its holster, I turned my back to Dazai and began walking away. With every step I took, I felt as if the ground were going to collapse, creating a bottomless hole that I would fall through for an eternity.

Dazai’s expression as he placed a finger on his forehead and approached the enemy—that of a child about to burst into tears—remained burned into my eyes.

This. This scene is everything to me. I will never not talk about this scene when talking about Dazai and Oda. It genuinely gets me in tears, I can't deal. When I first read this I had to stop for a second, because holy shit it just got me. Oda is the only one who has ever seen Dazai like this; everyone else sees him as someone to be used, or someone to be hated, or someone to be feared. But Oda sees him as someone to be loved. When Oda says 'Dazai’s expression as he placed a finger on his forehead and approached the enemy—that of a child about to burst into tears—remained burned into my eyes.', I don't know which explanation of mine I think is the most suitable. Because, he either says this because he sees that expression, and to him it seems like Dazai is so fucking happy and ecstatic to finally having what he craves the most, and that alone unsettles Oda. Or, Oda sees that expression and is so unsettled, because to him Dazai is just a child. A crying child that is shouting for help. I genuinely think it's both, but hey, who am I to be able to discern? I'm fucking dumb lol.

That was all I said. I didn’t have anything else to add. Had our ranks or relations been any different, I probably would’ve punched him right then. However, I am me, and there was nothing I could do to him.

Here, we see Oda's reaction after the initial shock. Here, I think it's pretty father/brother like of him when he says 'I probably would've punched him right then.' It's a protective and familial instinct; Odasaku is distressed, and wants Dazai to know that what he did was not okay. Oda is not happy with him, and Dazai kind of knows this, but doesn't know how to respond to it. As aforementioned, nobody has cared for Dazai like Odasaku does.

Now, time for a little insight on how Oda sees Dazai, and more explanation for how Oda wants to shelter him and protect him like a fucking son. One of the most heartbreaking fucking parts of the entire series; Dazai opening up for the first time ever. At least, I'm sure it is (that we see, I mean). After Dazai and Odasaku go to Bar Lupin and find Ango there, and Dazai then explains why he's not upset (bullshit he's devastated) and reveals a deep part of him, something which none of them have done with each other before, really. However, different translations, so I'll just put all three.

"It's alright, I'm not sad. I knew this would happen from the beginning. It wouldn't have mattered what side you were on. Because anything I never want to lose, is always lost. This is how it's always been for me. Everything worth wanting is lost the moment I obtain it. And nothing I pursue is worth the cost of prolonging this life of suffering." - Anime dub. "I'm not sad. I knew this from the beginning. Whether you were with the gifted special operations division or not, anything I would never want to lose is always lost. It is a given that everything that is worth wanting will be lost the moment I obtain it. There's nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering." - Anime sub. “I’m not sad. I knew from the very beginning,” Dazai said. His face was a blank mask now. “It didn’t matter whether you were with the Special Division for Unusual Powers. I always lose the things I don’t want to lose the most. That’s why I don’t feel anything anymore. The moment you get your hands on something worth going after, you lose it. That’s just how things are. There is nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering.” - Dark Era LN

This is actually one of the most gut wrenching scenes ever, I can't deal. Because honestly, I relate to this on a fucking spiritual level.

One of the parts that really sticks out to me is the "That's why I don't feel anything anymore." because that is how he manages these things. How he keeps his emotions in check. He just doesn't feel, he's desensitised to these things, and he tries to make sure that he doesn't care for anything, whether that be himself, subordinates, partners, friends, figures in his life, etc. He numbs himself to it all because he expects only hurt to come out of it. However, he let his guard down. He thought he could have a nice thing, and it was snatched away from him the moment he came to peace with the fact that he was comfortable with them, Oda and Ango. Then, the one thing he doesn't want to happen at all, the one fucking thing he has left to hold onto in this world is fucking ripped from him; Oda. Having already expected bad outcomes to anything that he truly desires, he still couldn't of expected it to happen and obviously wasn't prepared for Oda to just go and die like that. And he doesn't know what to do anymore. Because Oda was the last thing, his last tether to this world. He was the one thing worth living for, really, and now he's gone. Yet, Oda's final wish gives him something to keep pursuing in life. He sees no value in the act of living, and he himself sees no value within him. So, the one thing that keeps him going is Oda's final words to him. Oda's death hit him hard (obvs) because he was the last stable thing in his life when everything else fell apart. And now, he has nothing else to lean on. Oda was there for him, Oda cared for him and wasn't just using him. Dazai realises this, and that's what makes it so devastating, because Oda was the only person who Dazai could actually trust and love without getting hurt in some way or other. And we all know how important trust is to Dazai (the people that Dazai trusts are minimal. It's fucking Chuuya and Oda. Yes, he trusts the ADA. Not to the extent of these two. He places his everything in them, just in opposite ways.).

I stared at Dazai. We had known each other for a while, but this was the first time he’d ever opened up about himself. I could see a thorn the size of a harpoon wedged deeply into his life.

This got me fucked up fr fr. Oda's response to Dazai's spiel about losing the things he yearns the most. For the two years that they've known each other, Dazai has not once opened up to them. Not a single time. Yet, they all have such a deep friendship and bond that that doesn't even matter; they're as close as they are regardless. 'I could see a thorn the size of a harpoon wedged deeply into his life.' Again, this impacts Oda, because he sees how much Dazai is hurting and, once again, craves to soothe him, because he sees a child in distress.

“Dazai.”

He paused when I called his name. I didn’t have anything else to say, though; I simply said his name.

Nobody knew what Dazai was really thinking.

It’s an unwritten rule in the Mafia to not stick your nose where it doesn’t belong. One must never open the door to another’s heart and try to judge them for the darkness tucked within. That was one nice thing about the Mafia.

But maybe, just maybe, that was the wrong approach—or at the very least, when it came to the man sitting next to me. Somebody probably should’ve tied him up, pried his chest open, and stuffed a vacuum cleaner inside. Then, as he screamed and cried until they needed to punch him to shut him up, they’d suck every last bit out of his chest and stamp it into the ground.

But in reality, such a vacuum didn’t exist. Chests don’t open up like that, and no one is capable of such feats. What we see is everything, and everything we see, we ignore. All we can do is stand before the deep ditch between us and others and keep silent.

“Well, I should get going,” Dazai said before standing.

“Dazai.” He turned around when I called out to him. Rubbing my hands together, I looked down at the empty plate and coffee cup, then back up. “Are you thinking that way because—?”

Out of nowhere, Dazai’s cell phone began to ring. He lightly bowed to me before placing the phone against his ear and answering. A few moments went by as he listened to whoever was on the other side, but soon enough, his lips suddenly twisted into a grin.

Bro, bro. This gets me fucked up.

Nobody knew what Dazai was really thinking.

It’s an unwritten rule in the Mafia to not stick your nose where it doesn’t belong. One must never open the door to another’s heart and try to judge them for the darkness tucked within. That was one nice thing about the Mafia.

'...for the darkness tucked within.' With it being the mafia, Odasaku clearly knows that everyone's going through some fucked up shit. And he knows not to stick his nose in other people's business, because he wouldn't want people doing that to him. Except, something is compelling him to get Dazai to open up, to show Odasaku the darkness and seek the help he needs. Once again, crying child analogy.

But maybe, just maybe, that was the wrong approach—or at the very least, when it came to the man sitting next to me. Somebody probably should’ve tied him up, pried his chest open, and stuffed a vacuum cleaner inside. Then, as he screamed and cried until they needed to punch him to shut him up, they’d suck every last bit out of his chest and stamp it into the ground.

'Then, as he screamed and cried until they needed to punch him to shut him up, they'd suck every last bit out of his chest and stamp it into the ground.' Christ, Odasaku. Pretty fucking deep analogy there. But this here just shows us how deeply affected and wounded Oda is by how hurt Dazai is. It also gives us more child-like statements from Oda. The way he describes it here just reminds me of a child. A child, kicking and screaming because whatever is happening to them they do not like. And this is exactly what's happening; he's saying that he knows that Dazai would not appreciate people looking further into his life and soul, and that he would very clearly make a fuss and a protest about it. It also likens it to 'The Time I Picked Up Dazai' (it's such a good read. If you haven't read it, I highly suggest that you do. Also, spoilers ahead for it <3) ~~~ The way it reflects the book is in it, there is a scene in which Oda has to physically restrain Dazai from trying to stab himself with a knife whilst he's grinning like a madman.

~~~

However, my expectation is betrayed once again. I have forgotten about the foreign matter that exists in this house. Dazai, of course. He is more unpredictable than any human I have ever met. For example, if two people are on a three-legged race to the goal, Dazai might just turn around and start running in the opposite direction at a random moment. Or, he can desperately climb a cliff to survive, then all of a sudden, say that he wants to fall off it and die. He is a guy that has strayed too far from the reasons of this world. Our dear Trickster.

Dazai suddenly comes up with the idea that if he jumps out of the door with a gun in his hand, there are chances he can be shot dead by the cops. Oda tells him there is no gun in the house, so he decides to get a knife instead. He rushes into the kitchen, even faster than Oda. The cops outside notice the sound and ask them to open the door.

Oda knows that he has to stop Dazai, if he doesn’t want things to get worse.

I have to stop that. I so want to cry and ask someone to help, but there is no one who can do it but me now.

He jumps up and sweeps Dazai’s legs, making him roll on the floor. He grabs Dazai’s neck, turns behind and gets into a chokehold, trying to choke him unconscious. Dazai, as a result, struggles happily while kicking his legs around. He hits the kitchen cabinet once, twice until Oda hears a sound of something coming off. Oda realizes that those desperate kicks are actually on purpose, and it makes the knife Dazai was trying to grab earlier fall off right to where Oda is. Oda can’t move because he is busy holding Dazai down, so he has to use his ability to predict the track of the knife and barely dodges it. The knife stabs vertically into the floor next to him. He tries to calm Dazai down.

“Be still.” I say, “Don’t struggle. It is not scary. It doesn’t hurt.”

I don’t even know what I’m saying myself.

“You liar! Mori-san said the same thing when he gave me shots.”

Dazai says so and keeps going wild. It means there are other people besides me who are having a hard time with Dazai. Who is this Mori-san again?

Dazai keeps kicking the kitchen stand and this time, it’s the kettle above Oda’s head that’s going to fall.

It is a situation that I have never experienced before. A kettle above my head, a knife next to my face, false money somewhere in my room, cops at my door. And I’m strangling a guy I just barely met.

Oda finally manages to choke Dazai unconscious. He goes “fufu ahaha” before he faints. Oda pulls out the knife next to him and throws it toward the falling kettle, successfully catching it by its handle and having it jammed into the wooden part of the kitchen cabinet. By that time, the cops also manage to kick the door open and step into the room.

~~~

(translation and descriptions by @popopretty ! <333)

This entire scene is so fucking goofy to me and genuinely one of my favourites, but it's also really scary because Dazai just really wants to fucking die. However, after only a few days of knowing him, Oda is growing to care for him and doesn't want him to die. Twice in this extract thing does he try and stop him, and then once more before this when Dazai tries crawling out of the house to go and die outside, to which Odasaku grabs him by his legs, wraps him in a blanket, drags him back to the bed and ties him up. Referring back to Odasaku's analogy to "get the darkness out" of Dazai, this scene is pretty similar to what he said. Dazai is fucking booting the kitchen cabinet to try and stab himself with the knife or get crushed by the kettle, and Oda is doing his damndest to stop him, resorting to strangling him unconscious so that he doesn't keep going fucking insane. Dazai, of course, finds this all highly amusing. To be honest, I might have only just realised that I'm reading it wrong. He was trying to kill himself with the knife first, but then because Oda gets him in a chokehold, he tries to get him off him instead? Man, I don't know. Either way, goofiest scene ever. I love it. But, he's 16 here (I think. I tried working it out, and I think he is. Because in Side B, when he's torturing that guy, he says that he's a PM Executive. And Oda talks about how young he looks, and in the anime/LN talks about the fact that he's known him a fairly long time. I wouldn't say that one year is a long time, but two years yeah. So Dazai's either 17 or 16 when he first meets Oda, and I won't lie, I think 16. ANYWAYS-) and so of course, Oda sees him as a child (which he is). However, despite him watching Dazai age for those two years, he still sees him as a child that he needs to protect, a child that he worries for.

He tries to calm Dazai down.

“Be still.” I say, “Don’t struggle. It is not scary. It doesn’t hurt.”

I don’t even know what I’m saying myself.

“You liar! Mori-san said the same thing when he gave me shots.”

Dazai says so and keeps going wild. It means there are other people besides me who are having a hard time with Dazai. Who is this Mori-san again?

This entire interaction to me seems like a child at the dentist or something. Despite the fact that he's got a kid in a chokehold tryna knock him out, he's reassuring him that it's fine, painless, and that he needs to calm down. Crying. This fucking guy. This whole bit is literally just Oda trying to subdue a kid going off the rails, and even the references to Mori (I will be fucking getting into what Dazai said when I do another analysis thing, don't you fucking worry) and Oda thinking 'It means there are other people besides me who are having a hard time with Dazai.' Problem child fr. Makes me giggle, also makes me sad. Anyways. Odasaku and Dazai's interactions are usually Odasaku letting Dazai be quite child-like, allowing for these things, because he knows that he hasn't been able to have a childhod or be a child. He lets Dazai be who he wants to be in front of him, no judgement. Dazai has many faces for other people, but with Oda, he can just let his guard down that small bit, be more comfortable with him. And Ango. They were like his makeshift parents in the time that he knew them. And then he loses that found family, and so where's that left him now?

“I have this friend who’s supporting several orphans all on his own, you see,” he continued, his weapon still drawn and aimed at the boy. “Akutagawa, I’m sure Odasaku would’ve been patient enough to give you the guidance you needed had he been the one who’d found you on the brink of starvation in the slums. That would have been the ‘right’ thing to do. But ‘righteousness’ doesn’t take very kindly to me. And there’s only one thing people like me do to useless subordinates.”

Okay, this is going to deep Dazai a bit more rather than both Dazai and Oda's relationship. The part about righteousness reminds me of when Chuuya scolded him for shooting the dead body more times than was morally necessary. And he says 'Yeah. That would be the right/normal/ordinary way to think. Of course. Haha.' Dazai has no sense of right or wrong, as Odasaku says. He says to him that he knows he doesn't care about good or bad, and he can never fill that emptiness that he so desperately longs to fill. Dazai isn't like how he is here around Odasaku, because he trusts Odasaku and doesn't need to be intimidating or cold around him. He's allowed to be playful and innocent, and truly try and connect to that child he'd long ago lost and forgotten. And with Ango and Oda both looking out for him, with them two he truly felt like he belonged somewhere, and had people to care for him, despite him not knowing how to handle that or how to cope with it. He doesn't understand why, but he can let himself indulge in it for just a bit. He needs Ango and Oda there for him, and when he loses that, he loses himself. Slowly, he's becoming more and more empty and at a loss with himself for what to do, which is something we don't see from Dazai. Dazai knows everything that is going to happen. He knows everything, and doesn't need to question what he does or what to do next, as he always has his next step planned. However, when Oda dies, we see that facade come crumbling down as for one of the first times, he can't keep his emotions in check and he doesn't know what to do or where to go from here, as the last things he was holding onto in this world have left him, and he's left with nothing but himself and a cavenous hole in his heart where Ango and Oda once sat. That's been ripped from him, and so with his emotions laid bare in front of him as he's forced to confront a distressing situation, he looks to Oda for help. He doesn't know what to do with himself once Oda leaves him, and so he desperately asks Oda to help him. Fuck me, I'm tearing up sorry lmao.

I was in a hospital room. It was clean, ordinary, and as silent as a morgue. Standing firm with his feet apart by the door was a man in a black suit and sunglasses. The moment our eyes met, he silently left, apparently to go get someone.

“Hey, Odasaku. You’re awake now, right? How are you feeling?”

Dazai walked into the room with a cheerful smirk.

Sorry, this is just here because I'd like to point out that Dazai was waiting for him that whole time since he found him, and he had someone guard the door to make sure that nobody would come back for him, I'm guessing. And also he must have told the guy "Ay tell me when he wakes up." And that just really warms my heart and devastates me at the same time <3

Dazai placed a thumb against his lips, then shifted into a thinking position. He didn’t even move an inch for a full minute after that. Only his eyes wavered, following something only he could see. I waited in silence.

Oda's patience with Dazai. Wholesome shit. He fr sat there for a while minute in silence to let Dazai think.

I got out of the bed as I listened. My fingers were still slightly numb, but not enough to bother me during battle.

“Odasaku, don’t tell me you plan on going,” he said as if reprimanding me.

This is one of the moments where we see a more brotherly relationship from the two of them. Dazai is scolding Oda because he's injured and has just been through quite the ordeal, yet he's still standing up and leaaving to go fight and help Dazai's men.

I didn’t answer him; I just opened the door and left. Dazai saw me off without pushing any further. Despite not even exchanging a word, we were thinking the same thing.

Vice versa; Dazai's patience with Oda, and the fact that he doesn't push Odasaku for anything more than he's given him. If Odasaku doesn't want to say anything, Dazai won't pressure him into talking. He won't force him to say anything he doesn't want to. They respect each other, and they understand one another. 'Despite not even exchanging a word, we were thinking the same thing.' They understand each other to such a degree that countless times throughout this arc, they wordlessly communicate with one another, basically read the other's mind or just know what they're thinking, about to say, their plans, etc. It's a very important dynamic that shows their level of trust and their bond.

Now, this is going to be the bit that fucks me up the most, and I will cry whilst writing these bits. Because now we're getting into Oda's death and Dazai's reaction to realising Mori's plans, etc.

“Odasaku!”

I was stopped by a familiar voice the moment I left the restaurant.

“Dazai? What’s wrong?”

Clearly, for Odasaku to ask what was wrong, Dazai must have sounded pretty fucking emotional. Also, Oda, babes, the fuck you mean "what's wrong" as if he's not gonna know?

“Odasaku, I know what you’re thinking, but don’t. Doing that isn’t going to—”

“Isn’t going to bring the kids back?” I asked.

Lost for words, Dazai fell silent. 

Dazai being "lost for words" and "silent" is quite the shock. Dazai always knows what words to say, how to say them, when to say them, etc. He always has some retort or sarcastic reply, and always has to get the last word in. Dazai being at a loss for words shows just how unprecedented this is for him, and how he doesn't know how to cope with it. Once again, he is a lost child, seeking guidance.

“Odasaku…,” Dazai said softly. “Forgive me for the absurd wording, but—don’t go. Find something to rely on. Expect good things to happen from here on out. There’s gotta be something… Hey, Odasaku, do you know why I joined the Mafia?”

I stared at him. We had known each other for a long time, but he’d never even attempted to talk about that.

“I joined the Mafia because of an expectation I had. I thought if I was close to death and violence—close to people giving in to their urges and desires, then I would be able to see the inner nature of humankind up close. I thought if I did that…” Dazai paused before continuing, “…I would be able to find something—a reason to live.”

I looked at him; he looked back at me.

“I wanted to be a novelist,” I said. “I thought I wouldn’t deserve such a life if I killed someone during a mission. That’s why I never killed anyone. But that’s all in the past. There’s only one thing I want now.”

“Odasaku!”

I began to walk away. Dazai yelled out, but I didn’t turn around.

First of all;

“Odasaku…,” Dazai said softly. “Forgive me for the absurd wording, but—don’t go. Find something to rely on. Expect good things to happen from here on out. There’s gotta be something… Hey, Odasaku, do you know why I joined the Mafia?”

The fact that he asks for forgiveness for his "absurd wording" of don't go. It shows just how much he lacks in understanding others and himself. He thinks that these are the "wrong things" to say, because he's not used to expressing his emotions properly, and he can't articulate how he feels, because he usually feels nothing. He's usually numb and does not give a shit, but here he's completely puzzled and lost because he's feeling too much.

I stared at him. We had known each other for a long time, but he’d never even attempted to talk about that.

Not once. He'd never even brought it up in conversation, or even "attempted" it. He hides himself from the world and those around him in order to guard himself so that he doesn't get hurt or lose the things he cares about, which is why he detaches himself and numbs down everything so that he doesn't care about anyone or anything.

“Odasaku!”

I began to walk away. Dazai yelled out, but I didn’t turn around.

This will fucking kill him. One of my favourite (technically two) scenes in the anime is the parallel's between Dazai reaching out for Oda when he walks away from him, and Oda reaching out for Dazai when he walks away from him, both times one of them is heading towards death and the other is trying to stop them. But they're not close enough, and they're not fast enough. Genuinely, the scenes kill me, because the parallel's are stunning, I won't lie. It's fucking heartbreakingly beautiful.

Dazai strode confidently through the Mafia’s high-rise headquarters downtown at a quick clip, his heels practically scraping off the carpet underfoot. He got on the glass-paneled elevator alone, pressed the button to the top floor, then closed his eyes. When the elevator reached his destination, he opened his eyes again. His gaze was focused on only one thing—the office at the very end of the hallway.

Now, I have a few mini theories about why he closed his eyes, but what I want to focus on is not that. It's his determination and desperation to save Odasaku.

“Boss.” Dazai cut him off. “You know why I’m here, don’t you?”

The fucking Boss of the Port Mafia. Yet, Dazai has no time for games. He has no time for Mori's bullshit antics, he needs to save Odasaku. That is his number one priority right now.

Taken by surprise, Dazai fell silent. Even he felt as if he were walking on fine blades whenever he talked with Ougai. If he made just one little mistake, he could fall off the path. After pondering to himself for a moment, Dazai said, “I need permission to form a small team of executive-level skill users to attack Mimic headquarters and rescue Odasaku.”

He cannot afford to mess this up, because Oda needs him. Once again, Dazai is taken by surprise and sent into silence, which is extremely odd and rare for him to do so. He is clearly nervous about talking to Mori already, on top of the added pressure of Odasaku's life in his hands right now.

Dazai stared back at the boss without breaking eye contact for even a moment. Ougai’s narrowed eyes harbored a tinge of cleverness, as if they could see into his heart. It was the same kind of light that was once in Dazai’s eyes when he looked upon his enemies or allies.

Enemy or ally regardless, Dazai saw everyone the same. He had no time to be concerned with other people, especially as he isn't even concerned for himself. So, again like I said, he numbs himself to these things. He makes it so that he doesn't feel, and so that should an unfortunate situation come to pass, he's not affected by it by harbouring fondness for other people. Which is why it says "was the same kind", not "is the same kind", because Odasaku has changed him. Oda is neither friend nor foe; he's family. He's the most important thing in Dazai's life. He's a sole figure, there for him. A true father figure, someone to raise him properly, unlike Mori. Dazai realises this; as we see here, Dazai is no longer interested in anything anymore. He has grown tired even of the Port Mafia, and he certainly doesn't hold Mori in high regard as he once kind of did.

“Odasaku is currently scouting the enemy headquarters alone,” Dazai said, keeping his emotions in check. “I sent an emergency response team of Mafia members to the area, but it isn’t nearly enough. At this rate, we are going to lose a valuable skill user.”

"Keeping his emotions in check." He's not lowering his guard down in front of Mori. He won't show him his true face. But right now, he's desperate. He wants Odasaku saved, and he will do whatever it takes.

 “Of course, he’s a dear ally of ours, but is he worth sending executive-level men to the front line to save?”

“Yes,” Dazai confidently declared. “Of course he is.”

Ougai fell silent. He looked at Dazai, who looked straight back at him. It was an eloquent silence. The two men understood the other’s state of mind and how they would counter.

Dazai is prepared to risk his life for Oda, and Mori sees this, using it to his advantage. He sees just how much Dazai cares about Odasaku and manipulates the whole thing behind the scenes. And the zero hesitation from Dazai when he says it. "The two understood the other's state of mind and how they would counter." Once again, Mori has raised Dazai to be so much like him that they understand each other and a far more complex level than ordinary people. Also, this line just shows that Mori sees how fragile Dazai's state of mind is at the present time, his desperation to save his friend.

“…Dazai.” It was Ougai who put an end to the wordless debate. “Let me ask you this. I understand your plan, but in all likelihood, Oda doesn’t want help. What do you think about that?”

Dazai tried to answer, but he could not find the words to say. 

Dazai knows Oda best. He knows that it's true, but nothing is going to stop him from trying. Still, he's trying to articulate his words, which he isn't doing too well at.

 Dazai’s eyes were inadvertently locked on the envelope. Suddenly, he caught his breath.

“This envelope—”

Something began to thrash and flicker in the back of Dazai’s mind. It gradually turned into physical shaking, causing his head to go numb.

“I see.” Dazai managed to squeeze out just those two words, his face deathly pale. “So that’s what this is.”

Then he turned on his heel and put his back to Ougai.

“If you’ll excuse me.”

“Where are you going?” Ougai asked.

“To Odasaku.”

Now this is the part that really gets me.

With just one measly glance, Dazai has seen Mori's plan, beginning to end. Which is why he's so eager to leave, because he knows that Mori is planning to let this end with/in Oda's death. And the part that really gets me emotional is 'Something began to thrash and flicker in the back of Dazai’s mind. It gradually turned into physical shaking, causing his head to go numb.' We've never seen such a visceral reaction from Dazai before (with the exception of Oda's death.), with him physically shaking and his mind racing. Man's is fucking trembling, because he knows everything in that moment. And he can't bear it. Dazai, who usually has a tight hold of his emotions, cannot keep his grip on them no more, when it comes to Odasaku. Oda is so important to him, and Dazai realises that soon there is a high chance of him losing that.

Dazai calmly stared at the guns pointed in his direction.

“You still haven’t had any tea, Dazai,” Ougai said. “Come—have a seat.”

Dazai didn’t even budge. A guard in a black suit slipped to his side, then pointed the automatic rifle’s muzzle right at his head.

“Odasaku’s waiting for me.”

“Sit.”

All that is going through his head right now is Odasaku. He can't think of anything else, he doesn't have time for that. He can't afford to think about anything but the plan of action to save him.

“Dazai.” Ougai, who had been listening in silence, cut Dazai off for the first time. “What remarkable inference. There is nothing that needs correcting. I have just one thing I’d like to ask: What’s wrong with that?”

“……”

This is one of our first hints towards Dazai showing a hint of compassion for other people, because he now knows what it's like when you have someone that you love.

"So why are you so angry?”

Dazai didn’t say a word. That was just about the first time he’d ever been unable to articulate his feelings.

“I…”

—“There is nothing worth pursuing at the cost of prolonging a life of suffering.”

—“Awaken me from this oxidizing world of a dream.”

“I just…” His voice came out strained. “I just don’t get it. You were the one who tipped Mimic off about the orphans’ safe house. No one else could’ve found out about the location I chose. You killed those kids to get Odasaku to fight Mimic’s leader because he is the only one who can defeat him.”

“My answer is the same, Dazai. I will do anything for the benefit of the organization. Besides, we are the Port Mafia. We have always brought darkness, violence, and cruelty to this city. Why is that a problem now?”

This scene is also another scene that really gets me fucking devastated. We have never seen Dazai like this. Strained voice, unable to speak, and seeming timid and meek. Here is the child that Oda sees when he looks at Dazai; lost, wandering and alone. He can't say what he feels, he doesn't know how to. He knows nothing but to numb himself from these things to not get hurt. "I just don't get it." Dazai doesn't understand, which is scary for him. He's not used to it, and he doesn't like it. He wants to save Odasaku, and the one time he needs to be clever and think about it, he's unable to, because he doesn't know what's going on.

Dazai knew. He knew Ougai’s calculations, his mentality, and the rationale behind the plan. That was just the kind of organization the Port Mafia was. Logically speaking, Ougai was right, and Dazai was wrong.

“But…”

He turned on his heel, then began walking toward the door. Immediately, Ougai’s guards pointed their guns at him.

“You cannot go, Dazai,” Ougai called out to stop him. “Stay. Or do you have a logical reason for going to him?”

He wants to get to Odasaku. He doesn't care if he betrays Mori's orders; Odasaku comes first. He knows the logic behind it, yet he doesn't care. Morally, Dazai is right, and that's probably a first.

Ougai grinned. “True. However, you wouldn’t gain anything by disobeying me and going to him, either. Am I wrong?”

“That’s the second thing I wanted to say, Boss. There’s nothing in it for me. There’s only one reason why I’m going. Because he is my friend. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

The guards placed their fingers on the triggers. However, Dazai paid them no mind and simply strolled to the door as if he were going for a walk. 

Again, he is not assed. This is the first time Dazai has openly admitted to having a friend, or any kind of relation. Which is what makes it hurt more; because the second he acknowledges it, he loses it. 'There's nothing in it for me.' He's not doing this out of personal gain, like Mori does, he's doing it because he doesn't want to lose somebody important to him.

“Odasaku!”

Dazai rushed into the building and over to the ballroom, passing the myriad of corpses through the corridors along the way. When he burst through the oak doors, he saw his friend lying on the ground.

“Odasaku!”

Despite the chance of there being soldiers lurking, waiting to kill him, or the chance that Gide was still alive and would kill him, he continues to search for Odasaku. And when he finds him, fuck, it's not very pleasant. God, I'm going to cry.

“Dazai…”

Dazai rushed over to Odasaku, then checked his wounds. The bullet had pierced Odasaku’s chest, and a vast pool of blood had collected on the floor. It was clear that the wound was fatal.

“You’re such an idiot, Odasaku. The biggest idiot I know.”

“Yeah.”

“You didn’t have to do this. You didn’t have to die.”

“I know.”

Odasaku smirked with that particular satisfaction of accomplishing something worth the cost.

“Dazai… There’s something I want to say.”

This shit hurted.

“Don’t. Stop. We might still be able to save you. No, we will save you. So don’t say such—”

“Listen.” Odasaku wrapped his blood-soaked hand around Dazai’s. “You told me if you put yourself in a world of violence and bloodshed, you might be able to find a reason to live…”

“Yeah, I said that. I did. But what difference does that—?”

“You won’t find it,” Odasaku said in almost a whisper. Dazai stared at him.

Dazai is trying to convince himself that everything will be fine, that they will save Odasaku. He's determined; he won't let him die on him like this. And Dazai doesn't care about anything else but him right now.

“You should know that. Whether you’re on the side that takes lives or the side that saves them, nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity.”

—“Awaken me from this oxidizing world of a dream.”

That was when Dazai first realized: Sakunosuke Oda understood him much more than he’d ever imagined—right up to his very heart, almost to the center of his mind. Dazai didn’t realize until then that someone had known him so well.

For the first time in his life, Dazai wanted from the bottom of his heart to know something. He asked the man before him:

“Odasaku… What should I do?”

OKAY NOW THIS.

This is one of the most important parts; because Dazai finally found someone who understood him. Nobody has gotten further in understanding him than Odasaku has, and the fact that he realises this just before he dies is what makes his death hit even harder. And the fact that, at this last moment, Dazai seeks guidance from the man in his arms. Because once he's gone, he has nobody left. Nothing. And just at this last moment, Dazai "wanted from from the bottom of his heart to know something". We see Dazai continuously dehumanise himself, not seeing himself as an actual person half the time. He believes that he is heartless, cold, and cruel. Yet, here, we see that Oda has had a strong impact on him; he's made him realise that maybe he does have something there. Also, where it says "almost to the center of his mind". Dazai's mind is just impenetreable, yet Oda has gotten the farthest. That alone is a feat in itself, and Dazai realises just how close they are, and how much Oda really, truly understands him on a personal level.

“Be on the side that saves people,” Odasaku replied. “If both sides are the same, then choose to become a good person. Save the weak, protect the orphaned. You might not see a great difference between right and wrong, but…saving others is something just a bit more wonderful.”

“How do you know?”

“I know. I know better than anyone else.”

Dazai gazed into Odasaku’s eyes and saw a glow of conviction.

It was clear that those words were supported by some sort of strong basis. Whether it was past experience or someone’s advice—Odasaku was trying to show Dazai the path he himself had once tried to walk. Dazai knew that.

That was why he could bring himself to believe it.

“…Okay. I will.”

“‘People live to save themselves. It’s something they realize right before they die,’ huh…? He was…right…” The color in Odasaku’s face gradually disappeared until he was almost completely pale. He smiled. “I could really go for some of that curry…”

With trembling fingers, Odasaku reached for the cigarettes in his pocket before sluggishly placing one in his mouth. By the time he pulled out a match, his fingers were too weak to hold it anymore. Dazai took the match and lit the cigarette for him. Then Odasaku closed his eyes, smoking the cigarette as he smiled, filled to the brim with satisfaction.

The cigarette fell to the ground.

Dropping onto his knees by Odasaku’s side, Dazai looked up to the ceiling and closed his eyes. His tightly shut lips faintly trembled. The smoke from the cigarette rose straight up to the top.

Nobody said a word.

Now, here;

"...but…saving others is something just a bit more wonderful.”

“How do you know?”

“I know. I know better than anyone else.”

Dazai gazed into Odasaku’s eyes and saw a glow of conviction.

It was clear that those words were supported by some sort of strong basis. Whether it was past experience or someone’s advice—Odasaku was trying to show Dazai the path he himself had once tried to walk. Dazai knew that.

I personally think that this is Oda saying that he tried to save Dazai. And that how far Dazai has come is something that he should be proud of, and something that is "beautiful" about Dazai, something which he really wouldn't ever fucking use to describe himself. And the fact that he trusts Oda's words, he believes them truly, because he loves him and he knows. He fucking knows that those words hold weight, and that Dazai is going to uphold his promise to him. He's going to do whatever it takes to keep Oda alive in whatever way possible after death, and honour his memory, and give him a life that he wanted to have but never got to.

In the middle of a verdant mountain trail atop a hill overlooking Yokohama was a cemetery with a view of the ocean. There were many new graves lined up—among them a small white burial marker without a name.

Dazai stood before the burial marker, dressed in black mourning clothes and holding a bouquet of white flowers.

“……”

He squinted as the strong sea breeze suddenly gusted past. The white flowers fluttered in the wind.

“I’ll leave this photo here.”

He took out a picture and placed it before the burial marker. Frozen in time were the smiles of those three men.

“I really wish you could’ve tried that hard tofu I made…”

Dazai closed his eyes, then stood absolutely still, rooted to the spot.

Now, my guess here is that this is where Dazai went when he abandoned the mission for the PM so suddenly, especially as Akutagawa is off fighting some people.

“I really wish you could’ve tried that hard tofu I made…”

Remembering the little things, the small conversations that they had and treasuring them, despite the tofu being Dazai trying to kill himself again. Some sort of twisted, dark humour maybe. And the fact that he's stood deadly still, unmoving. I honestly think he's afraid. He's afraid that if he moves too much, or shows even a hint of emotion, it will all come fucking storming out in a whirlwind of painful fucking memories, feelings, etc. And he doesn't want that.

Right, I am so fucking sorry about the length of this one. It is currently 3:22 AM and I'm on the verge of tears watching The Dark Era episodes whilst writing this. I started this shit at 20 past 12. I am so fucking sorry.

In conclusion, one of the most important relationships (I think) is that of Odasaku and Dazai, as it gives us much more insight into the both of their characters, and how each of them affect one another and the fact that they're each the only one caring for the other person. Ango, yes, but Oda and Dazai are just kind of on another level of friendship, despite how close they are with Ango.

There are (surprisingly) a lot more things I wanted to say, but I decided against it so that it wouldn't be too long. Well, longer than it already is. If you couldn't tell, I'm quite passionate on this subject.

Anyways, if you've read this far somehow, I hope you have a lovely day/night! <333

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #port mafia #ada #osamu dazai #oda sakunosuke #ango sakaguchi #manga #anime #light novel #the dark era #analysis #their dynamic sends me spiralling #i love them both so much #why is everything so fucking tragic

[stanleyvampire14]

Hi so here’s a little rant/vent I do apologize as I normally don’t post extremely negative things

TW- Transphobia 💀

My mother was rambling about “If yOu hAvE a wEiNer tHeN yOuR a BoY aNd viCe vErSa iF yOuRe a giRL” bs and I just sat there and listened because she was talking to someone else in my family about it and my face was cringing so hard oh my god shut up shut the FUCK up You are bullshitting you don’t know what you’re talking about you don’t understand what’s going on in trans peoples’ heads they’re that way for a reason they aren’t trying to stray from the “normal” they want to FEEL normal within themselves please shut the hell up oh my god

Anyways sorry about that I had to let it out I’m so unbelievably pissed she needs to shut her mouth but I can’t SAY that also I’m not trying to like speak on trans and other peoples behalfs I’m just saying that she doesn’t exactly understand yall and I really wish that she’d be more open but nOOO.

Also if you find yourself agreeing with her “You can’t just change who you originally were” ideas then please feel free to block me because I’m not having that shit infecting my profile. Aka, if you’re ANY kind of LGBTQIA+ phobe then please for the love of all that is holy block me, thanks.

#tw vent #apologies I really had to say something #I can’t exactly talk to anybody else #I am a safe space for anybody that wants to talk #except zoophiles and y’know that whole thing those people are…something… #Even if I don’t get reply back when you dm me #I will still try to reply back as soon as possible. most of the time when I don’t reply to people I’m sleeping #love y’all and take care of yourselves #drink water and all that! chug! also eat- eat stuff that’s good for you! at least one thing! eat blueberries or smth #will get back to regular silly hehe posting tomorrow or later today

[prismuffin]

heyyy, so I was wondering if I could also request something without a reader? Like, i'd like to request for Price/Ghost because i am really really deprived of that ship. For some reason I like the rare ones. If not, it's fine. Anyway, so if you do then drabbles maybe? I'm sorry for this mess, I am nervous about asking.

A/n: it’s ok don’t be nervous love- even though I don’t ship it myself I don’t mind giving you some content for your underrated ship !!

Sleep

John Price x Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley

warnings?: mentions of nightmares but no details, truly just a fluffy Drabble that I didn't know how to end, so im sorry if it's abrupt or feels incomplete!!

————

Price sighed as he made his way to his room. He had to stay out a bit later than he’d hoped and all that was on his mind now was his bed. Just envisioning himself flopping onto his bed and wrapping himself up in his covers was enough to make him quicken his walking pace. Finally getting to the door, he opened it, hearing the familiar squeak that he always swore he was gonna fix. He closed the door behind him with another sigh before his breath hitched. There on the edge of his bed sat Ghost, he was fidgeting with his hands. His balaclava still on despite the late hours. His head immediately snapped to the door as it opened, his shoulders relaxing as his eyes met Price’s. Knowing what was happening, Price wordlessly walked closer to the buff male and stood between his legs and opened his arms to allow Ghosts head to fall right into his chest. Ghost let out a sigh of what Price assumed to be relief as he rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. “Couldn’t sleep?” “Negative.” Ghost immediately replied, his voice was firm though it quieted down on his next sentence. “I was waiting for you, sir.” Price nodded and hummed, shifting his position so that he was sitting in Ghosts lap, both of their heads resting on the others shoulder as they wrapped each other in an embrace.

One time Price caught Ghost having a silent panic attack in the common room after he awoke from a nap on the couch. It was very late and Ghost thought he was alone, but Price helped him through it by holding him in his arms on the couch and allowing Ghost to open up for once. Now it happens every so often, ghost will have one of his night terrors and will seek out Price for help. Even if its the dead of night Price will always open that door for Ghost. Sometimes he wants to talk and other times he doesn't, this seems to be one of the times he doesn't seeing as he's not quietly ranting about the nightmare in Price's ear. This time Ghost would just like to be held, comforted, wrapped in the arms of his captain. His eyes squeezed shut as he instinctively held the man tighter. Ghost wasn't sure what label his relationship with Price held, they were obviously closer to each other but he's like that with Soap as well. But he doesn't get that flutter in his chest from Soap that he feels with Price so maybe it's something more? "You should get some sleep Simon.." Price's voice whispered in his ear and he sighed, leaning back on the bed, taking Price with him. They both landed with a huff from the impact. Price smiled and shook his head at Ghost's antics before climbing off of him and getting under the covers, beckoning Ghost to follow. He did, and collapsed right into his captains arms, reluctantly closing his eyes as Price turned off the lamp by his bed.

----!----

( can you tell I didn't know how to end this. )

Thanks for reading! Have a great day/night!!

My requests are OPEN so feel free to request anything! Just make sure you check out my Request Info first!

See my DIRECTORY for upcoming fics!

Masterlist

#captain john price #john price #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost x price #tf 141 #price x ghost #john price x simon riley #fanfiction #character x character #cod mw2 #cod drabble #prismuffin #call of duty modern warfare 2

[altocat]

As much as I love all the fleshing out of our boi (lil bit of a negative rant here) I dont really like how he was given an picture of his actual birth mother tbh

To me it kinda destroys the whole idea of Seph's uncertainty about her, how he never even saw his mother, never met her, never knew what she looked like, but only ever knew her "name", which is why when he meets "Mother" during the Nibelheim Incident years later, its such a big moment for him because thats what hes searched for his whole life, and now hes seeing "her" for the first time

Like I'm sure you can maybe find a way to change my mind since your pretty good at that stuff, but honestly Im not sure about this idea anyway (if they rlly wanted a photo, maybe it couldve been a very blurred photo of Lucrecia or Jenova or some Random Woman, but still im iffy on it)

Sorry for da ramble btw, I love your look into Sephiroth's character and I just wonder how you feel bout it

(my opinion plz dont be mad aaah)

No, no! That's all totally understandable.

I'm personally pretty split on the photo. On one hand, it's extremely on the nose and tbh I'd prefer if Seph was almost completely kept in the dark about his mother, rather than know what she looks like. I'd always been under the impression that he was completely kept in the dark. Now he at least has a kernel. And that can take away a lot of the punch.

That all said, I think the scene is more of a means of reminding casual fans that Sephiroth has some serious abandonment issues in relation to his mother. These are things I've been talking about for a long time, but the games are surprisingly meager when it comes to ever bringing them up. He has some serious mommy issues and always had. If it took an added scene with a photo to illustrate this to fans, good. That's fine.

It also adds a new layer of sadism in Hojo's upbringing of him. Hojo gave him the photo, but also completely lied and then refused to tell him anything. That's....incredibly evil. And messed up. Perhaps it shapes how Sephiroth sees Jenova. Perhaps it resembles Lucrecia to him. Or perhaps he thinks the photo is a complete lie by the time he finds things out, hence why Hojo never told him anything.

I don't think it breaks his backstory lore that much. It's more of a refresher to players that this child has been bereft of his mother since birth and is now fighting a war. Is it a bit clumsily handled? Yeah. And I can see some people really disliking this change. But it's not too much of a big deal for me. And hey, we got a new render of Lucrecia just in time for Rebirth. If Rebirth and Part 3 are set up as legitimate entries in the series, perhaps we will FINALLY get some Lucrecia-Sephiroth closure.

#asks #ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #sephcanons #sephiroth #lucrecia crescent #ffvii ever crisis #ever crisis #ffvii first soldier #first soldier

[beevean]

I've seen stans claiming issue #67 gets to take place after Frontiers and so there was a huge time skip of months based only in the fact Sonic called Amy to lunch as they apparently spend a time without meet each other (???) (Is not it some long running gag in the games that the characters can take long weeks or months to see each other again, thus being already used to this?)

But why?? Why is it so important to set this passage of time?! Do they are really desperate in make the link between games and comics? Because that really makes the comic's narrative sound and look pretty worse:

1- It would mean then that Surge and Kit has been a far more time hidding in Eggman's abandoned base than you would expect, that makes them look even more lazy losers than they already do and clash a lot more with the image of Thirsty For Revenge the comics insist in pass, since they moved NOT a finger in almost half a year (???) (Idk the exact time they want to claim and much less I care) But it makes the arguably near 0 effort of them become a surely negative effort.

2- So then, Blaze is still in vacation in Sonic's world??? Really? She just forgot her kingdom? Are the Sol Emeralds just in Sonic's world as if there was no risk of the universe to collapse (okay, that's a more overkill than what the game really states) if the Chaos Emeralds are reunited and put close to them? Just like that? As if she wasn't all afraid of get some vacantion in the start?

3- Then Mimic has already gone in missions with the DC for real, right? He's bonding with them, right? Surprisingly, there were NO real volunteers after all this time before Surge and Kit finally met Clutch, heard his plan, came to accept his conditions and just gone to the Restoration HQ by the front door, (assuming any of these step even passed by Surge's father head) right? Or, if had, then they left... Geez, guess a bossy rude bitch with a rock hard head can't be a inspiring leader after all, what a surprise, no?

4- The only positive thing of this time skip ideia is that it explains why everyone is so chill of the drooling psychic walking around as well as make no objections to him about use his powers... And why Silver is so chill after the whole fiasco... Buuuuuut, now he's acting Just Exactly the way Lanolin accused him to act when she made the scandal to kick him out the Diamond Cutters (Not only the absence of security helmets or vests, he's playing with the food of the thousands of hungry kids he meant to help, Ian Flynn, a master of self sabotage)

Btw, sorry for this rant, feel free to just ignore if you prefer... And sorry for bringing the Lanolin discourse all over again...

Now that I think about it, it's been a year since Frontiers came out and IDW still hasn't referenced it. Even considering that it takes multiple months for issues to be finalized, I'd say enough time has passed that anything Flynn and Stanley have written since, say, December 2022 has been released. So huh, not even a small reference to that talkative moon, or anything to reflect the supposed new life goal of the gang. It's like it's not canon after all :)

Anyway. Time skips in IDW are indicated. This is how we know that the camping arc takes place months after the beginning of the MV arc because the apocalypse lasted the whole winter, and how we can say that it's complete bullshit because Sonic should have been dropped dead from exhaustion. No time indication, no significant time skip. This is a moot point for me, so I don't have much to add.

#fans don't look

[pengemis-receh]

Hi! No neg to you at all but i really need to get this out so feel free to ignore :D

I feel like fandoms as a whole has started to become WAY too comfortable in telling their creators what to do. The drama, complaints, and overall neg that i've seen people spewing to monsta is disheartening.

Critics are fine here and there, especially when mentioned in a respectable way. But people seem to forget that nothing is perfect, they see a flaw and just... zero in on it

Monsta can't satisfy everyone. Heck NO creator can satisfy everyone, but complaining about the thing something is lacking and saying negative things about the creators is helping absolutely NO ONE.

If anything it makes the creators ignore you, at worse double down or get disheartened and stop creating as a whole. Other than that it creates a negative sphere that makes some people (who were fine and enjoying this thing they like) to also feel unsatisfied or be negative as well.

ITS RUINING THE FUN FOR EVERYONE

I feel like these people don't realize how HARD it is to create let alone make a show.. its actually something i've realized in media consumption over the years; people have consumed so much media that they believe they "know whats best" or "understand better how to create this and that"

Creating is not easy. It takes time. It takes skill. WRITING isn't easy. ART isn't easy. ANIMATING isn't easy.

You want a specific episode that cater to what you like and how you want the characters to be? Write it. Genuinely write it.

Thats what fanart is for, fanfiction, fananimation.

Want something? Make it yourself. People have been spoon feed with free content that includes 3 seasons worth of a show, 2 seasons of its sequel show, 2 movies, AND comics.

And again. THESE ARE ALL FREE.

People do not REALIZE how privileged they are.

Do you know how many content now that is under a paywall? Do you know how incredible and generous it is to be given free content of an animated show for years?

To be given a show that is so obviously made with passion and love?

And still having the nerve to complain that its not the way how some people want or like it to..

Write it. To those who fully believe they know how things should be created, then do it yourself. Make a script and give it to them. Make a fanfic. Make an AU. Make art. MAKE WHAT EVER IT IS YOUR COMPLAINING ABOUT OR MADE YOU DISSATISFIED

Sorry about the long rant, this is in no way directed to you, been really peeved with how ungrateful people have been (getting that much free content in anything is a privilege some do not realize). Thinking its so easy to make a free show.

Anyway can't wait to see the continuation of your AU :D

Allahuakbar—THAT'S A LONG TED TALK wwwwwwwww X'D

Lmao I was not ready for a minute with how long your ask was, so of course I couldn't ignore this! wkwkwkw

Ehem.

Truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu 100%!

I am new to this fandom but it genuinely got me a headache. Even with the recent drama "Boboiboy is more likely a fan service franchise now!" or "Why monsta always treat Boboiboy only and abandoning their supporting characters? This is why Ejen Ali is better!" and many other drama that I don't need to know in the past.

Like... Puh-lease. Don't you guys know how much it blessed that they released their show full HD on YouTube? Both TV and movie series? Released their comic on webtoon for free?

Maybe you guys didn't realize how illogical that sound for outside of... I dunno, maybe from sea countries. Like Japan with their infamous strict rules for any franchise when they promote their products.

(and with how ridiculous what had westerns entertainment corporations did to consumers, so pirating on us and Europe almost became a norm?)

Monsta I'd say is genius. They knew they cannot apply the same way with how the Japan did, and thus they find a way to make their show release without losing any money. Even me personally still find that strategy is "somewhat" illegal. But for SEA countries? I can understand why they choose this path. Because that's how The some of franchises from my country did that too to promote their products.

Buuuut does it make the corporate go impecunious?

Now that my friend, it all comes down with the quality and the general public reception themselves.

(I can give you examples buuuut it gonna be longer and might subjective since I don't have any uh... Marketing background knowledge)

Therefor Monsta creatively managed to survive that obstacle. Their shows already big enough across the SEA nations and beyond; their comics and card battle themselves are heavily sold out, and even managed to release on theater in Japan!

Aaaaaaaaand then again, anon. This is internet.

Sometimes criticism could cause endless of drama that never ends. And it's absolutely unhealthy. Uurggh..

Yet in rare occasions, consumer criticism had their own benefits. Like the infamous Gremlin Movie Sonic before Paramount had to change because of the internet. (HUGE internet criticism If you guys don't know)

It really is a gamble to take any discourse if their take was supporting and even disowning some product. Especially on the internet where you could freely critics without hearts content.

I admit I myself have my complaints but tbf, at the of the day I don't mind with what Monsta give to their product. In fact, I respect with how much they take risk to correcting their mistakes from the very first Boboiboy Series up until now.

Nobody's perfect anyway, so I highly appreciate it they way Monsta tried to please anyone.

But that's the beauty of the Fan Art. Whether in form of music, visuals, literary, and any kind of medium to ensure that franchise still has an active community with tons of new ideas to share for their franchises. Big or small.

Fan art for me is a clarification whether the franchise is acceptable to their target market or not. If no one creates it, I consider that franchise is failure and not exist.

"The difference between fanfic and a "real" novel is that fanfic is honest about its inspiration."

-Mary Robinette Kowal

"There's a time and place for everything, and I believe it’s called 'fan fiction'."

-Joss Whedon

Tho...

Why would someone would want to waste their talents for creating fan art that they didn't even like it at first?

I specifically refer to people who made fan art clearly for hate or trigger people who liked it, not for earning money(that's another story to tell)

What a pity to waste time, ya know?

Like, touch some grass dude :/

#boboiboy #boboiboy galaxy #bbb #bbbg #bbbglxs2 #Me personally view PSU is like how Miyamoto visualize his games #The epitome of PSU that started it all. Boboiboy. #Want more in depth character dynamics? There's Mechamato #Need more room for comedy? We got Pipi Papa! #I'd say PSU is pretty well balanced universe that beautifully link without leaving them behind #Heck even there's another upcoming series that yet been revealed! #Anywho— #AAAAAAAAA #I'm too embarrassed that you see my messed up AU. #Thank you very much for your encouragement :'3 #menjawab anon

[steelycunt]

ridi im sorry i need to rant and i think youll get it 😭 like not to be a bitch but this fandom kinda going off the rails and annoying the shit out of me https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRbYASpf/ everybody in the comments unironically loving it,,, i mean wtvr ship who you want but its kinda getting delusional like ppl are just operating on thin air and pretty fancasts atp and i do Not understand or emotionally connect with any of it. at least w wolfstar theres so much material and foundation to explore but what is all the rest of this?? just hot celebrity fancasts and crack. to be fair part of me respects taking a terfs canon material and making everybody gay but the way it seems to be so oversaturating fics and the fandom that characters dont even feel like their original selves .. atp its all just surface level OCs

hello! yes! i'll be honest talking about things like this always make me a little nervous, and i feel obligated to preface anything i say with a disclaimer that none of it really matters, nothing i say matters, and you should do what you like, because--who cares. i am not an authority on--anything, frankly. my opinion holds no more weight than the next guy's, and all i'm doing here is giving it, so. essentially what im saying is--people are perfectly entitled to disagree with me, but people are not entitled to be mean to me about it xx

having said that. it is my personal opinion that s x barty is one of the worst fucking things i have ever heard lol. who even is barty who is that guy. why would s be interested in him at all. i do not understand it it does not make sense to me. from where are we sourcing the character traits and personality that we are giving barty that would ever endear sirius to him, because it objectively cannot be canon.

overall i do not get the new interest in barty + evan + pandora (+ regulus, but we won't go there)...at all, other than guessing that people were bored with the marauders and wanted a new version of them (and new celebrities to fancast) while simultaneously changing next to nothing about them other than superimposing them onto the first slytherin side characters they could rustle up. i expect ive become a bit of a broken record in regards to my dislike of the popular meow-meow-ification + complete absolution of regulus as a character in order to make him a loveable oc (just as i think erasing all the negative traits that r/s have in order to make them more likeable is just as boring), and all of that applies to those other guys as well (with the slight difference that they are, somehow, even less interesting and significant than regulus in canon), so i won't get into that too much. but i think what you say about having no emotional connection to any of it is exactly right lol--it is a sort of shift? i guess? in the fandom that is simply of no interest to me. they are characters that i just have no emotional investment in and admittedly struggle a little to understand why other people do. i am emotionally invested in, like, five characters overall (and even out of those--there's only two i'm really here for innit xx) and i personally cannot extend that investment to a creepy little side character who is mentioned maybe twice in the entire series.

and that is okay! i do not need to understand it. i don't want to say it annoys me because honestly--i don't go there, its nothing to do with me. if i dont like it i just wont interact with it, and the fact that it doesn't interest me has no bearing on what other people are into or want to do, and i couldn't give less of a shit what people do with the canon material, which is largely garbage anyway. take the bits you want from it, play around with those and ignore the rest. in that respect we are all doing exactly the same thing. but yeah i think s x barty is genuinely awful lol. hate it. very terrible. he's already got a loser werewolf boyfriend and he loves him so so much. leave him alone.

#i know most people are reasonable and thus it is perhaps overly cautious of me to insist on shrouding my unpopular #opinions in like. layer upon layer of placatory disclaimers but. well im a rather anxious guy i can't help it xx but im going to use these #tags to have a bit more of a consequence-less hater hour so. if you like regulus or barty or any of that lot i suggest you look away now #because i am about to express opinions about them that you probably wouldnt agree with + wouldnt enjoy reading!! #like full warning what im about to do is NOT any sort of analysis or defence of my opinion i will just be hating on them. is that clear. #okay. having said that. hater hour. barty and evan and honestly regulus were all cunts? like they were terrible people why do we care #about them now. regulus interests me solely as a piece of context for sirius' character. i could not give less of a shit about him as a #person in his own right. which leads me to my next hater moment: why oh why oh WHY on earth would canon james potter be interested #in canon regulus black. it makes sense in like a muggle au where they are virtually completely different characters but canon? #why would he be attracted to him. there is nothing. there is no chemistry i am ASLEEP and so is james. he would not give that #guy a second look. like it just baffles me it truly does. i feel like you have to bend over backwards to create a situation in which #james potter would ever show an interest in regulus. and i know jegulus is a fucking force to be reckoned with nowadays but god i just #do not like that ship. also i think the fact that barty and pandora and evan are essentially just oc characters who have been coloured #in by general fanon consensus shows in that what they have become is just. not interesting or complex or well fleshed out lol. like #idk i feel like they are just. very shallow. deliberately. so they are easy to like and easy to ship because that is what theyre there for. #god it feels so good to say all this. i will never be a hater again (<- lying) but i needed to be able to just. say this just once xx #also if you needed any more indication what barty and evan and regulus are here to do you just have to look at their #super-hot super-conventionally attractive celebrity model fancasts. like it all adds up its like but what if these death eaters were #not actually evil :-( what if they were really sweet and also? so so hot. like they were all so hot and actually really good #and none of them meant to be evil they didnt want to be :-( they were just hot good guys all in love with each other and the evil stuff #they did wasnt their fault :-( like that has to be. the most boring thing you couldve possibly done with these blank slates. surely. #anyway. im done now but i enjoyed hater hour immensely this was so fucking good for my soul xx thanks and goodnight xx #anon #telegram #scream hang on sorry. just looked at the comments of that tiktok where people are saying they were prison besties. girl. girl. #girl they were in prison for very different reasons baby. baby you know that right. baby look at me. look at me

[jakeperalta]

I just can't bring myself to hate Joe for some reason. Idk if it's because he loved her in 2016 or because this was her longest relationship or because we just didn't know their relationship that much. Or maybe just cuz the issues she talked about him having in her songs also sort of relates to me like with Renegade. For all we know, maybe he has a hard time thinking about marrying anyone cuz of his depression. I also find it odd that she sang you don't really read into my melancholia as a good thing..but then continues to read into his melancholia and make it about her in You're Losing Me. I hate to speculate about it but that's also something I heavily relate to. This is not me defending him at all..like I don't see it as defending him really. I would rather no one bring it or him up at all anymore honestly. I also still don't get the Sweet Nothing thing..like that's obviously about her and Joe even if it was also inspired by Paul McCartney. Anyway I feel left out in the fandom nowadays because of it. I never had a problem hating John or Jake so idk what it is and obviously Taylor wants us to hate him and it feels awful that she went thru that but I guess I just feel indifferent. Maybe her new album will make me feel different if she says more and I love that she's happy in her new relationship so I don't like that this is getting all of the focus I guess. It becomes harder to ignore and I've been taking more breaks. I do know why but I've truly never been that bothered by it before so idk. Sorry for this rant..hope everything is going well with the move! Congrats!!!

I totally agree with all of this! The contrast with the melancholia lyric in lavender haze vs renegade and you're losing me is really interesting (and the way people are treating it all as a terrible thing and not just someone dealing with their own issues or two people struggling to make things work). The same with him being introverted and not enjoying attention, they're not negative things and they're traits that a lot of people (myself included) have. I just feel like there's no reason to hate him or even to make him such a focus in the fandom when there's so much other taylor stuff going on we could be discussing

#answered #anonymous

[randomnameless]

Basically everything bad that can be said about how people view the Church of Seiros 100% applies to Megachurches and the like in America, and how deep it and the billionaires they conveniently ignore who fund the hate help it spread. American Evangelicals spent decades in Africa using the aid they give to secretly endorse hate and bigotry in places like Uganda and it’s recent Anti-Gay Laws. Even major food companies like Chick-fil-La in America is known for doing this. They project their issue-

-issues so much on the Church of Seiros they don’t seem to realize that the threat to their lives influences American Churches to become terrible places, not the other way around. Those folk turn places of worship and compassion into sanctums of hate, and contort the religion to fit that. Sorry about the rant concerning American Politics. Just as someone who had to learn how deeply American politics influence everything including other countries negatively has let me see where these people are coming from, but they miss the actual reasons for things like why Megachurches are capitalist machines that spread hate. Because it’s easier to believe in the “Meritocracy” Edelgard declares while ignoring those are the same talking points of the GOP and Churches they hate so much.

Sorry for not having replied earlier, anon!

People using religions to promote, well, not faith but their own interests has existed since, uh, well, since a long long long time. I'm not going to enter in a debate about this though, because this is way too serious for this blog lol

Anyways,

Yep, and I do not want to generalise a situation or make global statements, but some people already blogged about the US's approach to Churches and the catholic churches, and while I cannot say this is the reason why the CoS is, uh, not very well liked in this general area of the world, methinks it had at least some influence on the CoS's reception, which might also explain why the Treehouse lolcalised the games as they did, and why I'm not finding the same, massive, arguments/hate boners/biases against the CoS or "Rhea BaD"

But don't apologise, I'm always glad and happy to learn more things about areas of the world I'm not familiar with!

About the muhritocracy, well, as pointed out earlier, some people really use "churches" to spread their own messages, but it's always wild to see takes like this "muhritocracy" spread in a church when churches have always been places where the less "muhritant" people could find a place to belong* - so in a way, the issues some very devoted people in this fandom have are not with the institution they claim to harp against, but against their own "local" versions of said institution.

But after some "discussions" with them especially one from 2021, it's clear some of the "very devoted people" don't really care about what they are raging against, and want to rage against something.

*ffs, I was in Vatican city last week, and you have more structures for disabled people there than in the parisian subway - which is hilarious because Paris (lel) is supposed to host the Olympic and Paralympic games next year !

#anon #replies #some US megachurches looks scary from an outside pov #look at me shitting on Paris as I always do irl lol #it's funny because for those people it's not the words or the discourse they don't like #bu the person voicing them #fandom woes