#anyways warnings aside

[peachybuggames]

sooo ive finally gotten around to (binge) playing bug fables after years of knowing of/having it and ive made it very far in!!! like 32+ hours im (minimal/very vauge spoiler ahead) just past the giants lair, actually! speaking of the giants lair, i just have ooone statement when it comes to it:

what the FUCK what the actual FUCK!!!!!

#bug fables #somewhat spoiler-y rants below here be warned #anyways warnings aside #WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUUUCKKK #WHY DID IT BECOME A HORROR GAME ALL OF THE SUDDEN WHAT THE SHITTT #FELT LIKE I STARTED PLAYIN L1TTLE N1GHTMARES OR SOME SHIT WHEN THOSE EYES POPPED UP #one fucking CLIPPED ME and made me fight that stupid spider thing and i gasped so hard i almost choked #like when i saw maki was fighting with us i was at first like 'yay omg maki wahoo yippee 😁😁😁' #then exactly two seconds later i went 'wait a minute 😅😅 why do we need maki here 🙂🙂'and then continued to get my ass beat for 20 minutes #anyways that area is spectacular 10/10 i am NEVER going back #if there's like hidden really good items \_'-'_/ oh well too bad im not gettin em /lhlh #i hate sleeping I wanna play more neow #but also im really close to the end of the game and like. no :( i don't wanna be done :(( I wanna go on more adventures :((( #s okay tho after this i get to chug that Fandom Juice w/o fear of spoilers #and ofc i still got things to do in game #handful of side quests. loose ends to tie up. boss rushes to complete #so i get to keep my silly little bug friends for a bit longer :)))

[halichor]

The initial plan was to do some study sketches but whoops my hand slipped

#cw: suggestive #put a lil warning in there jic aaaa #dnd #dnd oc #bg3 #bg3 tav #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate tav #oc art #sketch #halichor draws #dnd: jehan geinnelehis #aside from art trades and comms all I've drawn so far this year is just... jehan #anyway those are supposed to be anonymous(?) disembodied hands #but mage hand is more fun 👀

[literallyjusttoa]

Left this abandoned in the drafts (which is a bit ironic) but it's a spin on this post, where instead of Apollo just being locked in some room on Olympus somewhere, he's bound to the ruins of an abandoned Ancient Greek city. Maybe somewhere near Delphi, maybe Troy, idk.

#trials of apollo #toa apollo #lester papadopoulos #sunny speaks #would this count as another au? idk #apollart #I got this Idea after learning about ancient Thera (which I can't believe I didn't know about before) #It was kind of the Ancient Greek equivalent to Pompeii? Except the volcanic eruption was MUCH more catastrophic #but because the eruption was so big the people on the island had warning signs for like a decade before it happened #So we have ruins that have been perfectly preserved but there are no bodies #Bc all the people were able to evacuate before the disaster #I mean there aren't even animal corpses at these sites they got everyone out #Fun fact this is also considered to be a large reason why Minoan civilization ended up falling apart #ANYWAYS all that aside I heard “abandoned ruins that have been perfectly preserved in ash” and immediately thought “Hmmmm yes ... suffering #Though to be clear I would not put Apollo in the ruins of ancient Thera (Tho the thought of him being the local cryptid of Santorini is fun #But you know what other city was burned to the ground? Heeheehee

[local-space-case]

edit: tagged this post as anti zutara because even though i personally don’t consider it to be an anti zutara thing, a couple people disagree so thank you to the one person who was nice enough to just ask me to do it anyway

prefacing this by saying you can like whatever ship you want so don’t come for me (edit someone immediately came for me). but one of the reasons i don’t like zutara and don’t like that it’s being alluded to in the live action is because i feel like it waters down a lot of scenes they had together that were meant to establish each others individual characters, or rather some viewers water it down. like rather than healing zuko’s scar out of the kindness of her heart, it’s because she found him attractive. rather than returning her mother’s necklace to show zuko is more honorable than he thinks, it’s because he has a crush on her. katara doesn’t save and comfort/thank zuko in the final agni kai because zuko has effectively lost most of his remaining family in one day, its because they’re deeply in love.

i’m not saying these instances and romance are mutually exclusive, but i PERSONALLY feel the scenes are more powerful without it.

it just really feels like it undermines the power of platonic love (and f/m friendships in general) and their separate journeys as characters to find their peace in order for it to be bad boy/feisty girl romance.

#warning: opinion #personally i think the series would’ve benefited from no romance aside from sokka/suki and zuko/mai #and i say this as a die hard zukka fan #i just think they're neat #i’m not a die hard kataraang fan either #zuko #katara #atla live action #atla #anti zutara #i didn’t wanna tag it as such bc i don’t consider myself an anti but someone said i should anyway #so fine y’all win

[alilaro]

its so funny hbomberguy uploads a video like once every millenia, but when he does he manages to send every person he scrutinizes into oblivion, never to recover

#hbomberguy #not to be a hater but.... 🙈 i fucking hate james somerton and internet historian so much YESSS #internet historian is an edgy right-wing dickhead that makes edgy 4chan videos and hosts racists (including himself) #and james somerton is THE WHITE CIS GAY MAN QUEERS ARE WARNED ABOUT #plagiarism aside he prioritizes white gay men as the worlds biggest victims CONSTANTLY; and invalidates nbs women and poc #the video he did on jeffery dahmer made me want to scream in anger bc he goes on and on about gay men and how women dont care about them #but doesnt fucking mention a god damn thiny about how he targeted black gay men over white bc he knew he could get away with it #like he talks about queers but he only gives a shit about white gay men. thats it. #anyway sorry im tired and bitter but byeeee to these youtube bitches pls dont come back lmaao

[anneapocalypse]

Edited to add: I was wrong, check the notes for further info!

It would be interesting if Urianger used the formal you/informal thou distinction (mostly because we'd have a field day analyzing when he uses which and why, heh), but I can find no evidence that he does. So far, I've found three instances in which he breaks from thee/thou exclusively:

This snippet of "Pre-Calamity Dialogue" from the GamerEscape wiki. I can only assume this is from 1.0. While from what I can glean of context, this would be consistent with a usage of formal you, I have nothing to compare it at present so I don't know if he uses thou elsewhere or not; also this usage of you does not seem to have carried forward into 2.0 and beyond. (Also, I would kill for actual footage of Urianger in 1.0, and YouTube has thus far yielded nothing; drop me links if you have them!)

The lines of prophecy he recites for the Scions upon their departure to the Far East include ye as a plural you. ("Look ye where the sun doth rise..."). This is Urianger quoting a text, however, and I haven't found anywhere he uses this in his own speech.

There is one line in Shadowbringers where Urianger says, "I am in your debt." This is not particularly an instance where the formal you would make sense (he's addressing a friend), nor does he ever address the Warrior of Light that way in similar contexts that I can find. (Compare to other times when he is apologetic with them, like the Heavensward patches, "Speak thy mind. I do not expect thy forgiveness," or earlier Shadowbringers, "I thank thee. Doubt not but that I will do all in my power to repay thy kindness," if the WoL offers him forgiveness.) As such, I'm inclined to assume this was a mistake and an editing oversight rather than an intentional deviation.

Are there more? I would be interested to see them! So far though I don't see him using this distinction. He seems to use thee/thou pretty exclusively when he's speaking in his own words.

Unfortunately, I have not played Endwalker yet (I'm through 5.3 at the moment) so I have to say please don't give me any spoilers, thank you!

#anne's urianger problem #sorry i warned yall i was going to be unreasonable about this elf man #also yall is the modern ye #ANYWAY #nerdery aside #always interested to learn more #there's a lot of canon i've only seen once and some i haven't seen at all and a lot i want to review #ffxiv stuff

[witch-sweets]

I've drawn to much ansgt lately so here's some dadcher fluff

They had a long day of adventure they need rest

#a hat in time #ahit #ahit snatcher #ahit hat kid #Finally some fluff #Art that actually suits my art style #DO NOT TAG THIS AS A SHIP I WILL FIND YOU #THIS IS A BFF/FATHER DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP #anyways ominous warnings aside look how cute this turned out!1!!1! #I'm really proud of how cozy this looks

[fadewalking]

this post is about spiders

I'm scared of spiders just as much as the next guy. I do however, own several of them as pets at this point (hands off, display pets only as my fear keeps me from ever wanting to actually touch one), including a black widow and as of today, a brown recluse. And i know that they're the United States boogey monsters of spiders, but the lack of knowledge around them from the general population is staggering, and im getting kind of tired of it. Every single person in my life has reacted with anger and horror at my perceived stupidity from "Keeping an animal that can and will kill you if given the chance". And very few people are even willing to believe me when I tell them the truth.

Like the fact is that it just isn't true that either spider can kill me. Unless im allergic to them, which would be like winning the lottery (of pain and death), then I as a healthy adult cannot be killed, not even close. I'm not saying they're puppies or anything, they do have a medically significant bite, or more accurately- they can have a medically significant bite. But they can also choose how much venom to deliver in a bite, and they do not want to waste it for something that isn't prey.

Both of these spiders are also incredibly shy, and you have to be actively squishing them to death for them to want to bite at all. If i was bitten by either of these spiders, i would spend an afternoon at the ER, and then go home and for the next few weeks/months (depending on venom amount), i'll be in a good deal of pain while i recover. Is it a walk in the park? absolutely not. But these spiders just.. aren't life threatening. I also don't plan on touching them at all let alone harassing them aggressively enough to get any kind of bite.

#arachnophobia tw #anyway also #fear i can understand because i fear them too #but fear to the point of hatred is Not It #if you are someone who fears spiders or any other living creature (aside from parasites) to the point of hatred #you should feel compelled to educate yourself about it. ignorance propagates fear. #so many people kill animals out of fear and they do not deserve your hatred just bc you are afraid #this isn't just about spiders and bugs bc i know people rarely care about squishing a bug even if they don't hate them #but i also mean animals like snakes #killing a snake out of fear is morally wrong. #if the snake is just chilling/warning you and not actively attacking ofc #if any animal is actively attacking u then obv u gotta do what u gotta do #like sorry if this is controversial but you can't kill an animal for no good reason??? that's bad??? #all i'm saying is do better. #ooc #thanks for coming to my ted talk about spiders ig

[sophieswundergarten]

I can't stop thinking about that Wing AU and Sticky plucking his feathers...

(Weird, angsty ramblings that might require some knowledge of bird anatomy to fully understand to follow)

(Basically, when birds grow feathers they start as "blood feathers" which are basically just little sacks of blood and growing cells. After this, they are "pin feathers", and the blood is all inside where it belongs, leaving the feather all rolled up and covered in this papery stuff that rubs off and leaves a fully grown feather. Also, Primaries are the big "pointer finger" feathers at the tip of the wings, Secondaries are the medium sized ones from the "wrist" joint to the "elbow", where they get smaller and are referred to as Tertiaries. That should be it :>)

Because, in real life, it's quite common in pet psittacines (Parrots: so, macaws, cockatoos, budgies, lovebirds, etc.) especially when they are stressed. And it can get out of control really fast and take a long time to train the bird out of even though it's very obviously hurting it.

And I just keep thinking about how young he was when he started being on TV. And for a while the fluffy little baby feathers were cute but an entertainment industry seeking engagement instead of connection demanded he grow up too fast.

And so the make-up/wardrobe department for any competition he was on started pulling some of the downy feathers. There weren't that many left at this point regardless, but they assured him it would make him seem more mature and appeal to a wider audience. And it would be fine, it wouldn't really hurt him, especially since he was growing in big feathers anyway.

So it went. With Sticky being so self-conscious and anxious anyway, he probably kept his wings tucked in tight behind him no matter what people thought about them.

He had never put that much consideration into how he looked, but now he can't stop thinking about it. He doesn't know why it's so important, but apparently it matters to people. He doesn't want it to matter. He doesn't want to be seen or recognised. He just wants to be left alone.

He starts fidgeting with the pin feathers that will one day unfurl into adult primaries, and even though he knows it's counter-intuitive because removing the casings will only free the feathers sooner, he can't help it. A few times he goes too far and starts picking at blood feathers, and even though the red coats his finger tips more often than he'd like, he still can't stop his hands from scratching and pulling and yanking as he grows more and more agitated.

And then he ran away

He ran and he couldn't keep his hands off his wings for more than a few minutes. Tugging and raking his fingers through the feathers in a futile attempt to calm down. The first couple of times, it's an accident.

The first couple of times he's so caught up in soundless panic and all he can hear is his own breathing, it's only later that he notices a small cluster of secondaries, close to his body and almost never seen with how rigidly he holds himself, are missing. Small pieces of the night sky littering the alleyway ground where he'd been hiding.

His wings are so dark in colour, not to mention unkempt after a few weeks hiding and running and flitting from place to place trying to find safety, that the other kids don't even notice anything wrong.

It isn't until a few days later, when they're all in the backyard attempting to practice their Morse Code, and Kate does something that startles him that they really see what kind of a state his wings are in.

Most birds, when scared or on edge, will carefully spread their wings. Maybe not a lot, but they are preparing to fly away or make themselves look bigger in hopes to scare off the threat. (I imagine Milligan having great big owl wings that he puffs up to try and guard the children when the Recruiters come after them in the maze)

But Sticky just draws them in closer to his body. When he is scared, which Constance would note is often, he holds his wings so tightly to his back that they seem half their size. This would be considered odd and in some ways handicapping himself or keeping him from being able to react properly.

But this time, as Kate wobbles unstably out of her cartwheel and lets out a shriek of laughter, landing on the ground right next to him, Sticky jumps. He starts off the bench he had been sitting on, hunching his shoulders and reflexively spreading his wings.

And instead of the fully extended mix of fully grown flight feathers and occasionally wayward piece of down the other kids have, Sticky's wings are a mess. They have a skeletal quality, with just enough plumage that when they are folded in it's hardly noticeable, but when they are extended it's clear there are significant gaps. The remaining feathers have the dull, stunted quality of someone who has been under an incredible amount of stress without nearly enough nutrients to fuel them, and indeed Sticky looks rather like a feral cat in that moment: Spooked and curling in on himself as if expecting a fight.

He quickly realises his overreaction, and then processes that the girls are staring at his wings (Reynie's eye did dart up, but quickly returned to looking at Sticky's face), so he jerks them back into a resting position. Though there's nothing particularly restful about how stiff his posture is, back ramrod straight and muscles so tight he's beginning to shake.

However, this is something that the others know he doesn't want to share yet. And he doesn't need to. Not until he's ready.

So, Kate grabs the flashlight from where it had fallen to the ground, a sheepish grin on her face as she apologises for scaring him.

Reynie suggests they all go inside, take a break and get something to eat before they begin again.

Constance glares at Sticky suspiciously, but right as she opens her mouth she seems to think better of her questions and simply shrugs.

And Sticky is grateful for his friends, grateful that he has these people who love him enough to trust him with his secrets, even though they don't know each other very well yet. So he follows them inside, and if Kate dumps a little bit more food on his plate, and Constance doesn't try to swipe his juice glass this time, and if that night (for the first time) Reynie shyly asks if the two of them could take turns preening each others' wings, when it's just the two of them alone in the room, Sticky thinks he might be able to trust them too.

#Anyways #I wanted to get this idea out of my head so I could actually think about other things #Because it has been crowding out a lot of other thoughts lately #That's what I get for getting all excited about bird anatomy I guess :/ #I hope it isn't too annoying or weird #But it's a super real thing that lack of proper nutrition can mess up a bird's feathers too #Birds are kind of ridiculously delicate #In other ways aside from the hollow bones I mean #But at least they're not as bad as horses #All this is mostly based off my own experience with anxiety and doing stuff like pulling on my hair or pinching myself? #I don't really know anymore if that's a common anxiety thing or something I should tag as a 'trigger warning'? #I thought it was normal but if anyone has an issue with it please tell me #Anyways like I said #Lots of feelings about wing aus and birds and a TON of feelings about Sticky #Whoo I finished that now I can retreat to the safety of my phone and leave the clown behind #the mysterious benedict society #mbs #sticky washington #mbs wing au

[kingdomoftyto]

"Carlos, if you could just pause your experiment for a second--if you could only hear me out, hear my hypothesis! I think once you understand the science of the situation, you--" Carlos opened the door. He was crying. She had never seen him cry. He was overwhelmed and unsure of how to express his emotions, since he usually only did so in carefully worded sentences, not with water from his body. "The science of the situation?" he snarled. "That Otherworld. I was trapped there, Nilanjana. I couldn't see Cecil for ten lonely years. I was kept away from the people I love, in that desolate place where you never get hungry and you never have to drink water and so you never live. It is a place that devours. It is a place that is empty. That is the science of the situation, and I study it so I can fix it. Only I can do that. Only these experiments can do that. I'm sorry, Nilanjana; I'm not going to stop so you can tell me what science is."

🫠

#Tyto listens to WtNV #spoiler warning I guess for a book that came out a few years ago now #anyway yeah hi I finished the book #the resolutions to the plot and to Nils' character arc were pretty good. nothing to write home about but fun and serviceable #I personally get annoyed whenever a story pulls a ''you thought this romance would end with these two TOGETHER? lol NOPE'' #like we get it it's more realistic for whirlwind romances to end in a breakup and sometimes it's better for people to just stay friends #but firstly this isn't real life; it's fiction. with narrative devices and such. #and secondly WtNV of all media does NOT get to preach about realistic relationship trajectories when its lead fell in love at first sight #lmao I'm just saying. I'm not MAD about it or anything it just made me roll my eyes. #ANYWAY. that aside: it was good. and I do genuinely like the friendship Nilanjana builds up with Darrell at the end #but obviously the real star of the show was Carlos and the completely unprecedented character depth that they smothered him in. #not ONLY recontextualizing over a year's worth of the podcast but ALSO saddling him with LAYERS of guilt over the events in this book #he *KILLED* the *GODDAMN* *CENTIPEDE* #after his beautiful little speech about not killing things just because we don't understand them! #he was just SO traumatized by his time in the Otherworld and SO afraid for his family after Janice nearly got Got that he KILLED IT!!! #and THEN!!!! not only do they find out that the centipede wasn't responsible for the destruction!! #but it turns out it was HIS OWN MACHINE THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #his attempts to keep everyone safe were what actually caused the danger!!!! AUGH HE WAS ONLY TRYING TO HELP #HE'S JUST SCARED AND HE WANTS EVERYONE TO BE SAFE AND NOT EXPERIENCE THE SAME HORRORS HE DID AUGHDUSHGHDH #...anyway yeah back to my regularly scheduled episode listening tomorrow

[ultraqueer]

someone please bonk me over the head so I forget everything abt taz balance I would like to go back to my first listen but without the traumatic high school experience please

#taz #taz balance #been seeing a lot of taz b on the dash the past few days and man. man. I miss Themb #‘it’s so hard to pick the one piece of media you want to experience for the first time again-’ no its not. taz fuckign balance #truly I cannot think of a single piece of media that has affected me more #five year ago I might’ve said hp but honestly? no. even without jkr being jkr #anyways. shoutout to the podcast that kept me from killing myself when my best friends completely cut me off with no warning or reason given #would still like to know what happened there but I’m a better person and I know much better people now so ✌🏻 #hope y’all have gotten better too. genuinely. #tangent aside man does taz balance hold a special place is my heart and man am I going to lose my fucking MIND next gn

[sparky-is-spiders]

Hey check out my stupid dumb idiot boy. I love him very much which is why I put him through The Horrors. He's got a lot of lore floating around the brainspace that I don't feel like dropping here, but the short of it is that he's a dragon, he's a made up thing called a Noctar (think werewolves that fly and have no particular relationship with the moon). He was chosen to at birth to be the servant of a god (much to the chagrin of his parents who really, really hate gods), he served (possibly dated, and definitely killed) the Ultra-Special Chosen One of a different god, and he even managed to fall into weilding two different (mind-altering?) fire-themed swords (who keeps giving him those anyway?).

But yeah if you've seen me talking in the tags about my Wretched Lizards? Here's one of them!

#okay seriously there is so much Lore for this man #I will warn you it is VERY dramatic and over the top #he's the only one I have a ref for #and this is the only proper art of him too #I actually imagined him as completely golden #but his noctar form looked so plain I gave him Tail Stripes :) #technically he counts as a lizard because his birth species is dragon #he just hates the associations that come with being a dragon and spends most of his time in his noctar form #anyway he's honestly a pretty shitty person but he's also my baby boy who can do no wrong #(aside from helping his evil necromancer bestie do a teeny tiny world domination?) #but yeah anyway time for boring sorting tags #art #the lizard crew #(new OC tag! so you can see all my mental illness in one place whenever I post more about them) #digital art #leoshgon #leoshgon varmillius #sparkarts #(my art tag? I haven't used one before but there was a post about how it make make it easier for people to search for art on an artist's #blog. so here you go) #ref

[the-irken-pony]

Psssst hey I wrote that fic

#I finished it last night aside from a few edits today #I just didn't wanna upload it at midnight because that usually doesn't go well #henry stickmin #the henry stickmin collection #thsc #right hand man #fanfiction #mine #warning it is heavy in the sad department so #hey what the fuck why does this game make me write so much feels anyway

[skeletalheartattack]

I FEEL YOU ON THE TORNADO FEAR THO I USED TO BE SO SCARED OF THEM AS A KID THAT THE FAINTEST GUST OF WIND WOULD MAKE ME CRY LMAO 💀💀💀

YEAH LEGIT IT SUCKED SO BAD!!!!!! legit honestly i think it's so funny now cause like, where i live none of that shit happens here or even comes close to reaching us. and even then my ass was still scared to tears

#ask #raidendotcom #i mean wed still do tornado warnings anyway and go into our basement. #which sucked most for me cause like. fears aside. id put all my prized belongings in plastic bags and stuff #and would take everything i feared of losing down into the basement with me #then when itd be all over id be like ''whelp! time to lug all this stuff back upstairs!! :)'' #like id go to the extent of unplugging my n64 and gamecube and would bring them into the basement #but yeah my ass was Scared as fuck #like it got to the point where it was basically happening every night #tornadoes? steve urkel doll episode of family matters? rats? hurricanes? nukes? cry and puke. #like my parents would usually be like ''look man if this keeps happening well. youre gonna have to go to the hospital'' #it never reached that point though #i think it got to the point where i was playing Pokemon Stadium 2 in the living room #and like a screen mentioned the word ''Die'' in reference to a singular dice cube. and i just started fucking bawling #intrusive thoughts were a bitch around that age #once almost started crying at my friends house one time because i imagined something bad happening to my DSi #granted atleast i think i was alone in the room when it happened. #i think thats the same set of time where i spent the night at that friends house for like 5 days in a row #which i think was also when he had his birthday. so like when the 5 other kids left. i just stayed #anyway yeah i was not okay #thank you for the ask raiden :) sorry we were scared of tornadoes

[medievalwife]

#i watched the first min and she’s SO dramatic. which is like fine if you’re just a normal person #but as a therapist shouldn’t you have more tact lmao #imagine talking about surviving incest to your therapist and she was like ‘omg this is sooo dark. wow um can you give me a trigger warning?’ #so stupid anyways i need the general public to stay away from ethel cain! #also as an aside- it’s so condescending to tell incest survivors to be careful when listening to this song #like it’s called INBRED.

[authorofemotion]

I just talked to my dad (has forbidden me to be a nun) seriously about my discernment for the first time. And I’m frustrated because he basically said that my Feelings may point to my future vocation (if they stick with me and I still experience them when I’m Older and More Mature) or they might not, but I’m 16 so I shouldn’t put too much weight on it regardless.

which like, yeah, obviously I’m not making big life decisions now he’s been bugging me about college since i was 12 but that’s another story but he said that he’s sure I feel like no one who’s warned me to be thoughtful about it Understands Me, as if I myself am not aware enough to make a thoughtful discernment?? Like intellectually I so much understand my situation, to the point that I preface all discussions on my discernment with a list of the factors people warn me about that I am, in fact, taking consideration of.

At the end of the day, all of the advice he gave me about discernment likened it to being a job. How can I get him to take me seriously in a real way, not a “my sixteen year old daughter is convinced of this” kind of way?? As conscientious as I’m being of everything stacked against me asking for caution, I’m only as certain as I am because of how much I’ve prayed about those things. I’m not specifically interested in the busy and prayerful lifestyle religious lead. When I think about the daily schedule of a religious, I first dismissed it, because if I’m able to choose the life I lead, why would I choose one that’s so routine and monotonous? When I first received the calling to discern I resisted it for a long time. So him saying “if you’re interested in that, I’m not against you pursuing it in a couple years” almost entirely discounts my entire discernment. I don’t long for that lifestyle because of any reason except that I have fallen totally, irrevocably, helplessly in love with God.

The bare bones of a religious lifestyle have become the most beautiful thing in the world to me when I fix my eyes on Jesus and contemplate how I want to spend the rest of my life focused solely on Him, not bothering with anything else but what is strictly necessary. That’s what religious life is. The long hours of prayer that seemed tedious upon first consideration have become the most comforting thing in the world to me when I must leave my Lord’s presence in Adoration to attend to things, and I feel so much longing to return to Him that I cry. That’s what religious life is.

I desperately want every person to know that the life of a nun seems intense to every single person, and most who are called to it would not choose it if considering it in the same way you consider a career. But that doesn’t matter. Because when you take all of the fluff and clutter out a life so that it’s completely empty, then fill up the remaining space with pure and total love, there is nothing more wonderful.

A religious is a person in love. I am a girl in love, so much that my entire world has been transformed. How is it even possible for me to weigh the pros and cons when my heart has already been captured? I know my God will not withhold it from me.

#i didn’t intend for this to be so long #and i don’t know if this makes any sense #but i get frustrated by well meaning people either assuming i’m convinced solely by emotion #or solely by intellect #never a reasonable mix #i’m not frustrated bc “no one understands me 😫” #i’m frustrated because people just assume i DO have that attitude #it’s not me ignoring their warnings it’s me having already understood and grappled with those warnings myself before i ever approached them #about it #but feeling called ANYWAY and there is a huge difference #i won’t even say “if i was following my own will i wouldn’t have been able to come this far” #bc i remember very well what my own will about it is. if i was following my own will i never would have started discerning at all #my will was that i wanted cats #i wanted a garden #i wanted rooms full of books and my own tea shop #i wanted an faithful husband and sweet kids who liked to sing #i wanted to write books and music all day #THATs *my* will for my perfect life #i didn’t decide to cast all that entirely aside to empty myself for freaking NOTHING?? #tldr give me a little bit of credit PLEASE #claire’s discernment #claire yells to the void