#arent we just terrified

[futuremrsdrcullen]

I'm Always in This Twilight - Masterlist

Once upon a time, my sibling and I joked about making a twilight rewrite where I could fall in love with Carlisle Cullen,

And then Some how I actually did it. And, Even more surprising, people liked it.

It's been kinda crazy so far and honestly I can't wait to write and share the rest of the series with you guys.

Thank you so much for sticking it out this whole time.

I love you <3

I DO NOT own The Twilight Saga. All rights go directly to S. Meyer.

I'm Always in This Twilight (Tumblr / AO3) - First Book (full word count 25,844)

Spotify Playlist

Exist (Oneshot)

Aren't We Just Terrified - Second Book (full word count 40,415)

Part One Part Two Part Three Epilogue AO3

This Love Came Back To Me - Third Book (full word count TBD)

Preface AO3

Blurbs -

Thank you (WC 917)

Golden (WC 625)

#masterlist #carlisle cullen #twilight fanfiction #twilight x reader #twilight #carlisle cullen x reader #im always in this twilight #arent we just terrified #reader insert

[sesamenom]

no living man may hinder me: The Gilded Wraith of Numenor

from the Reverse Gondolin AU, based on @who-needs-words's idea for Ar-Pharazon's fate! (they also wrote a ficlet for it, check it out here!)

#silm #silmarillion #lotr #lord of the rings #witch king #witch king of numenor #ar pharazon #eowyn #reverse gondolin au #ooh i need to do this pose for fingolfin and morgoth #the parallels though! eowyn facing pretty much certain death #but being brought back by hope in the Halls #while fingolfin faced morgoth because he lost all hope #also: in the au sauron & pharazon took a bunch of numenorean tech with them before the Downfall #bc nobody attacked valinor so all the airships and engines and stuff were still on the island #so we get Steampunk Tech Numenor #(perfect symbolism w industrialization too!) #which means of course the witch king of numenor gets a Gun Sword #which is frankly terrifying #his face is still visible here bc the tiny bit of maia/peredhel ancestry (still like 20x more than aragorn tho) protects him from the rings #enough that his fea & hroa haven't faded; just been corrupted #also in the au bc of Prince Elrond's involvement in numenorean politics ar pharazon is way more aware of potential loopholes #in the 'no living man' thing #aka arwen and galadriel #and honestly he expected to be slain by arwen #so he still overlooked eowyn (and merry) #just for very different reasons #less hubris in a 'i am invincible' way #and more hubris in a 'you arent nearly important enough to bother paying attention to' way

[thekidsarentalright]

writing smut for me is just like. feeling sooooo good during the setup and then shaking crying in fear once penis happens bc i have to find a clever way to not make the word cock sound insanely repetitive and corny FJEKDMSM

#peterick smut world is not fun bc of this it is terrifying. worth it but terrifying #like every sentence just feels like im saying his cock cocks cockily all over the cock yk what i mean like. can we invent new words to make #this easier there arent enough words JFDKDNDK #txt #p: 100

[whosectype]

I want to interact with all the cool OC people in the Cuphead fandom but I have no idea HOW can you give me some pointers cuz y'all seem genuinely so cool and I have so many OCs I wanna share but my Autisim is kicking me in the ASS

Well there are a few things you could do

A: draw their oc, this would definitely get their attention and they would very much appreciate it

B: ask them questions abt their ocs so they can infodump. Everyone loves to infodump about their sillies!!

C: throw a brick through their window with a note attached to it that says “wanna talk about Cuphead?” (This one is the most affective)

#Ask #YOU THINK WE ARE COOL???? #That is absolutely hilarious to me #But I appreciate it <3333 #Dw we arent scary we are all just hyper fixated and overly obsessed #Except Lunarshadow she’s absolutely terrifying/j #JK JK INTERACT WITH LUNAR SHES COOL

[bunnyb34r]

I know I should just block (and not OPEN) tags and posts ab '24 but my brain is stupid and likes to be informed even if it makes me worse

#marquilla #im not even joking when i say this next election makes me wanna kms so bad. im fucking terrified and i feel like we already know what's #gonna happen. not bc people arent voting or organizing i mean bc of how far the right has gotten and how angry they are that a #dem won so theyre gonna show up in droves and it's like god i wish we could idk have some safegaurds in place??? like oh idk you #incite an insurrection you Can't run for president?? but also that wouldnt fully stop shit bc florida has its own neo nazi running and #theres more behind him in the wings. but like idk man i just get so fucking suicidal thinking ab the future #and my drs. are like well then dont look at the news??? 'i sure dont' mkay thats great (not) but um i CAN'T not watch bc i need to #be informed i need to know. and they're like well then stop worrying ab it til election day?? LIKE THAT HELPS #so i just dont bring it up. and i just spiral and have breakdowns in the shower and think ab making a will and shit yknow normal stuff #bc this is fine! just dont engage! stop worrying it's like a year away! it MIGHT get better! idk Join in your community then?? #like yes yes thats a start but with what fucking energy when im bedbound most of the time im not working and that doesnt stop these fascist #s like me helping the community garden would be good for the community and probably my mental health in general BUT that doesnt deal with #the actual fear that makes me wanna Kermit #like it really fucking feels like all i can do is pray and hope god somehow intervenes (rapture anyone?) and that things do go well and #that the outright outspoken nzis don't win but like I really just wanna die man #i know the outcome more than likely will not directly affect my life bc im white. cis passing. and can go back in the closet regretfully #but like that doesnt reassure me any bc i have friends and loved ones and generally just give a shit ab other people and how this WILL #affect them directly and that terrifies me. it really feels like we cant ever have a moment to just exist yknow?? #idk man i just wanna die bc im so scared haha how fun (: how normal (: this is fine. everything is fine.

[horce-divorce]

So to be clear tumblr is the only social media i actually bother to use with any regularly, but sometimes you crave variety. For example sometimes going on reddit is a nice distraction, and my feed is all really interesting silly low-investment type posts that i can scroll thru and be entertained by without feeling like i have to engage. and other times it feels exactly like facebook. just suggested post after suggested post that makes me say "god you people are so fucking unbelievably stupid." posts seemingly hand picked to make me so enraged, the exact kind of shit I go online to AVOID.

currently it's recommending me a bunch of posts about "why does America have so much looting?" That have a bunch of responses like, "Because of the crime wave, no one prosecutes shoplifters, people have just noticed its so easy to get a group together on whatsapp, etc" and WHY? It thinks I would want or need these posts? Idfk??? I hang out in r/antiwork and like 3 other main subs about being homeless and random entertainment topics. I don't use reddit for politics or world events. I do NOT get my news from there.

Anyway there was also one recommended thread about "why do rural folk feel looked down upon by city folks?" And all the responses were, "yeah! It's them who are rude to the city people!" And when someone mentioned the lack of resources in rural areas, another person chimed in to say "well I lived in Detroit and now I live in a rural area and we have WAY more food and resources than Detroit does!" But the second anyone brings up, you know, the socioeconomic factors that influence that shit, everyone's like whining and crying bc their little brains can't handle ""bringing race into it."" someone had a different life experience than you?! Pft, sure, and then all the bystanders clapped! 🙄

idk it's like. the more time goes on, the wider economic gaps become, the more obvious it is how effectively people are brainwashed. It's not like the answers to these questions are hidden esoteric mysteries. It's not like people having different, individual experiences in life is new. Even my grandma understands that a) people aren't actually looting that much and b) even if they were, have you bought groceries in the past 3 years? if so, why are you even asking that question?? But you try to actually talk about how bad shits getting and these fuckers go into high gear defending The American Way Of Life and blaming individual choices. Ppl are drinking the Kool aid so hard and they think water is just supposed to fucking taste like that

#me #they put the kool aid in to cover up the taste of lead. #flint still doesnt have clean water. btw. #thats such a perfect example of what im talking about too #for YEARS its been common knowledge that we are poisoning and killing the people of flint (very near detroit fwiw. related topics) #and its like #idk i feel like i meet ppl who assume that bc Everyone Knows About Flint that means that it got fixed or smth #it fucking didnt #doesn't it feel kinda like. w wages and inflation. or covid. or anything else. #we declare oh yeah X is happening! its in the media. heres the numbers. everyones talking about it. finally out in the open. here we go #its in the news cycle for a few weeks and then bam. gone. nothing. #and everyone thinks oh its gone now. i guess its over #covid is still rampant and terrifying but its not on everyones minds anymore so no one wears masks. problem fucking solved am i right #everyone knows inflation is untenable. ceos make 400x workers. rent is all of your income. no one can afford food #we wont change wages tho. and everyone is just like. well if employers dont wanna pay more thats ok. just look harder for work. #just try harder. just work more jobs. just sell your blood in addition to your time body heart and soul. #its like people are hearing 'socioeconomic factors beyond our control influence how we live our lives' and they still go #'but why dont you wanna just buy more money?' #theyre HEARING words but they arent LISTENING #ONE person in that looting threads comments mentioned police brutality. one. #and they shockingly weren't getting downvoted into the negatives but they definitely werent being heard either #i feel like thats the most glaringly obvious one #like the entire world saw our police force going apeshit and they went 'woah are black ppl in america ok?' #and everyone said NO PLEASE HELP #and... nothing fucking changed!!! #everyone supported water protectors that 1 time. but the water protectors in the great lakes region still fighting?? crickets #i dont get it. i dont get it!!!! #in the news: heres 20 current events making life untenable for disenfranchised people #everyone: i dont get it? why are they breaking stuff

[hella1975]

So so so so so normal about the Tams fire siblings like your inner child is something you are missing so bad you wish it'd hurt/you only remember that kid when you are cornered and desperate and tired and hurt, and it's like you're trying to be together in this you want to you are even, but how are you supposed to reconcile with that? Hoe can you despite all you did, all you've been through, you're still so fundamentally far away. Would it be better if you weren't?

LITERALLY like to some extent zuko and azula are still those children that are so fundamentally pitted against each other like even through all this new love and fondness and allegiance they are still being opposed by their father's hatred and what it did to them and despite all the hardship and danger that made them tough and formidable they're still just kids

#like azula's spiel about how she knows her and zuko make good allies now bc of how competent they are on top of their symbolism #but she's literally fourteen. like what. canon azula is so personified by her cutting efficiency as a weapon of war #and tams azula is so desperate to mimic that bc she remembers that made her feel useful #and she feels so useless so often now bc there are things zuko doesnt let her into and some things she has no choice but to let him handle #like a lot of tams is zuko stepping up as the eldest bc there's no other alternative and he's happy to do it but azula hates that he has to #so she wants to be useful again and end their suffering like she's coming from a SELFLESS POV SHE JUST WANTS A HAPPY GENTLE LIFE FOR THEM #THE CLOSEST TO HAPPINESS SHE FELT WAS FUJISHI WHERE SHE WAS A HERBALIST AND WOKE UP SLOWLY AND DRANK TEA!!! #but then we have zuko and his child self is a terrified weak thing and his life is so so out of his control #that he grasps the things he can control with both hands and azula taking that from him #when he has sacrificed EVERYTHING to give her this life? her turning around and saying it's not enough? she wants to fight? #it's a betrayal and he can't believe she'd ask this of him and she has no idea why it's such a big deal #bc things like sitting with the gaang for lunch ARENT A BIG DEAL like objectively it's trivial #but zuko has so little control and has so much pressure on himself to be in charge and keep them safe #that not just losing the small amount of control he does have but losing it to AZULA his sister who's supposed to love him #is so so painful #like they're both trying to help each other but the way they're doing it is hurting the other and im screaming into my hands #ask #tams asks

[hyperbolic-havoc]

she hurts me,

and i hurt her back.

im not so sure who started it first.

but it's probably my fault.

#what started as playful teasing now actually bothers me #and it must bother her as well #we never stay mad at each other for long #but we're getting tired ig #things arent the same as they were #and im afraid this may not last long #but what makes me actually terrified #is that sometimes it doesn't bother me that we're growing apart #but i also need her at the same time #shes my everything #<- i have no idea what im saying #just needed to let it out ig

[futuremrsdrcullen]

I am yet again watching twilight an working on the third part of my twilight rewrite. Also, it's been a whole year since I posted the first one.

Every time I see Carlisle I am reminded why I started this in the first place. And every single time I get a notification that someone liked my story I remember why I keep it up.

You all mean the world to me and I can't thank you enough for all the love and support. I hope to have the third part out soon(ish)

I love you <3

~Claire <3

(Masterlist)

#twilight #twilight fanfiction #carlisle cullen #twilight renessaince #im always in this twilight #carlisle cullen x reader #twilight x reader #iaitt #arent we just terrified #masterlist #claires intrusive thoughts

[konfizry]

one thing that i didnt really expect (but probably should have) from totk is everyone in Hyrule knowing that Zelda is Zelda. Like, that princess who sealed herself w/ the calamity 100 years ago and emerged victorious (with some help). And they’re so nonchalant about it, too. like oh ye here goes our undying princess, taught me how to make this really gnarly stew, helped my daughter catch frogs, she’s super chill

then again this is ppl who’ll read about the resurrection of the Demon King from ancient history in the papers and go “oh sounds nasty i’ll be careful out there, then :)” we’re talking about. i love them so much they just accept everything

#they just never panic #unless you use ultrahand within 10 feet of them now THAT is terrifying #tears of the kondom #to be fair arent we the same #neverending stories about the world as we know it ending in the news and im like 'aight ¯\_(ツ)_/¯' #(tho tbh honest #it probably helps that there are long-lived races out there who actually were around when the calamity happened #so the whole zelda thing doesnt seem as surreal i guess #idk #) #oh yeah also i love that the press exists in totk

[magnoliamyrrh]

i also love how this whole generation discusses enthusiastic consent and consent which isnt coerced at all and etc etc etc but they cant understand how consent cant be bought, especially when were talking abt +95% of cases of harsh poverty related prostitution. like. what the fuck is not clicking (why am i even asking whats not clicking; its that theyre literally so fucking afraid to think for themselves and to even question the dominant narratives theive been parroting that their entire brains just shut down ((because even questioning these things already makes you the worst person ever in the groups they hang out in)) just repete the mantra babes! sex work is work! just repete the mantra, mindlessly! you say something enough times and it becomes true!)

#its scary man like. apart from everything...... i find it straight up fucking scary #...... were adults now. these people are adults. and yet they still.... like im sorry to say it but so much of this generation #is just sheep #i love actual sheep but this isnt cute its really not #its fucking scary #this generation is SO EASY to manipulate and will fall SO EASILY for cult tactics i swear to god #a whole bunch of people who parrot everything and who are terrified to be even analytical of things much less critical. is exactly what we #dont need #which as i said before is part of why i post about this. because look! im saying all the things that arent allowed and make me an evil #bitch! lmao. except wait my fingers didnt turn to ash my tongue didnt fall out and i didnt suddenly become the devil #anon hate? okay. so? a bunch of westerners irl who dont know shit who are mad at me? okay? so? #the thought crime police can sentence me to 1000 years in jail if they want but it doesnt seem to have worked so far

[lobpoints]

Thinking about the fact that A LOT of lor characters will feel underwhelming if you only look at them through solely the main story while the tibid that actually recontextualize their characters are contained in their personalized song and book or if they are unlucky in some obscure interview or buried under 400 pages artbook and side stories

#thinking about PM revealed that the device Argalia wore is a sound emitter that constantly playing white noises or sound of the crowds #because he is terrified of absolute silence and darkness which then linking to his backstory of him being used as a lab rat #when he was a kid #and most of these info arent in the main story since we literally dont need to care for those detail in the main story #or Moirai dislikes being alone and being isolated while her entire career forcing her to be isolated and alone #or just literally Roland's gloves in the main story used to be Angelica and how Angelica was the Black Silence #the Pianist also has an entire written story for them but lost in the sauce in the broken website and lost translation #also the detail of the Smoke War is orchestrated through Benjamin (and Dias) is revealed in DD #or Carmen is the one ordering and putting out criteria to specifically hiring mentally ill people to experiment on them #being revealed in some 2019 QnA

[ratvich]

literally just thinking about ur trauma is so embarrassing 

#vent #dont rb #i knowwwwwww ur not supposed to compare trauma but ugh #idk #i should just get over it tbh... it literally happens to so many people LOL and i think umm i should be normal <3 #anyhow yesterday was pretty good until the last part of the day that actually sucked mega time. i started dissociated super fucking hard #while watching a presentation the school was doing and it got better when it was over and we moved to the senior lounge but. 😶 #im not saying i tried hurting myself to try and snap out of the dissociation but uh yes i did and UHM. UHM. someone noticed that was like #literally terrifying. hes cool but we dont talk often and i wasnt expecting him to scoot over #when he mentioned the pencil it literally felt like i was about to fucking die i completely froze up #idk hes nice tho #he said i could talk to him if i wasnt feeling ok #so shoutout to him i guess #ANYHOW im good now and im just reading a book a friend sent me #its kinda hard to relate to cause so far has a lot to do with family and so parts of it arent super applicable to me #but eh its fine

[psykoz]

sometimes activism can be submitting an essay on transphobia to your bible belt high school in the mid 2010s and forcing your whole class to listen to the oral presentation and think, even if just for a few minutes, about transphobia in their small town.

#if you have ever ever ever opened up semi publicly in a terrifying scenario. i love you. it was worth it. #even if you cant see the effects i promise it was worth it #this is to every student who ever has and ever will write the most terrifying essay with shaking hands #turning it in and praying you arent failed outright without it even being read #for everyone thats ever just started talking venting ranting about something you were too afraid to talk about. but now you have to #whos ever been forced into debates you cant win and dont want to take part in but now refuse to back down. where you know even if you lose #someone will hear you #trans kids are our mist valuable natural resource and we have to nourish and protect them #we cant lose them. we cant fail them.

[allylikethecat]

Hi hi. So I take the term equestrian quite loosely for myself because I live in a town and am not rich I’ve never had the chance to actually have my own horse. But I’ve been riding horses since I was like 4. My cousin owns a stables that is a couple of hours away from me so that was my introduction to riding.

I don’t compete due to the lack of my own horse but I practice English style riding with show and cross country jumping styles. I’ve also dabbled a little in western riding.

Even though none of them are actually mine bc I rode and helped out at one stables for such a long time it definitely felt like some of them were. Especially there’s this one mare Daisy who is a proper little asshole. She will bite and kick and buck and barely even moves for the lesson kids. But I hopped up on her when I was a kid and we just connected. She was like a different horse altogether.

Anyway I am very much so rambling and I had one other thing to say to you which is and the medicine vinyl. Ik you said it reminds you of the colour of US pill bottles and I find that so interesting bc originally it was made to be the colour of h.

Anyway yeah btw also I am LOVING the daily prompts! Hope ur having a nice day :)

-♥️

Hey! Doesn't matter if you own a horse, or how often you ride! If you've taken lessons you're an equestrian in my book! That's so cool that your cousin owns a stable!

But damn you are much braver than me! I do NOT have the nerve to ever go cross country schooling omg I love watching it but the jumps are so solid? I also prefer English style riding (show jumpers unite!) but Pop is a jack of all trades (re: I get an idea and he is forced to go along with it lol) and we've done a little bit of everything - jumping is what we both like best though. He's a little peanut of a QH that I never had any intentions of buying but is the absolute love of my life, and as a QH I'm so lucky he is so versatile and is game to do a little bit of everything, English and Western, as long as he doesn't have to go through any kind of water including puddles 😂

It's always so special when you meet a horse that you just ~vibe~ with and it's like oh you're my guy/gal. Daisy sounds like such a mare lol was she chestnut as well by chance? I know that they say once you become a mares person they will literally do anything for you.

I also used to have a chestnut Oldenburg mare that I did more upper level show jumping with but that ended in absolute flames and I sold her about a year ago (I'm not sure if I hated her more, or she hated me more by the end lol) 💀 I hope I can one day get another upper level horse especially with Pop getting older but currently I am still terrified to get on any horse that isn't him 😂 Also I am so sorry for rambling on about this I get so excited talking about horses 😬

Oooo you're so right! I'm not a vinyl person (I literally only bought the neon orange Medicine vinyl because i have a weird attachment to the song now after the A&E fic and wanted to frame the sleeve and hang it with all my other 1975 stuff) and completely forgot that was a thing... I feel like that makes it even more poetic that it's the color of medicine/pill bottles in the US now? Even though it probably wasn't on purpose? I have decided that I am going to read into the symbolism and pretend it was on purpose even though I fully made it up (Hey DH - you can steal my idea though and pretend it was on purpose if you want though!)

Thank you so much for following along with the daily prompts! It's been such a fun little exercise and I've really enjoyed working on them! I didn't expect anyone to even read them, and was only posting to hold myself accountable so to find out that other people are enjoying them as well is so special and cool!

Thank you so much for reading, your support and sending in these asks! I apologize for writing little rambling novels in response, just like horses man! They're the BEST!

❤️Ally

#allylikethecat #ask ally #anon ask #fanfiction #keep it kind #matty fic #gatty #fanfic #All The King's Horses #ok so the mare and i were really good to start #but we had a wreck about a year and a half ago that was pretty gnarly #and physically we were both mostly okay (she was fine i was half purple with bruises but i didnt break anything) #but like emotionally we never got over it and things kinda fell apart and my trainer was like we'll give it six months #and if it doesn't get better we can sell her and you can focus on Pop again until we find something else #jokes on her im terrified of riding horses that arent pop now #i sat on my friends super sweet schoolmaster that i've known forever and ridden before #just trotted her around and i thought i was going to die #so anyway it is just Pop and I against the world these days lol #and will probably continue to be that way for a long while longer #i love him so much though #sometimes i'll just be sitting there and start crying because i love him so much #and i like to think he loves me too #in whatever way horses are capable of love #regardless he is my GUY

[sickmarrieddying]

today on twit i saw debate abt whether art the clown is a good slasher villain and so many ppl were hating like,,,,, first off ppl were replying to a person saying that hes the closest thing modern day horror has to a new iconic villain with examples of M3GAN and THE BLACK PHONE … vs art the clown in terms of iconic horror villains ,, yeah we’re fucked

also some ppl were saying the obsession w the terrifier movies/art the clown is weird bc its plotless and boring and “like just say u like gore” i dont think there is a single terrifier fan on this planet that is saying they dont watch it for the gore and are in fact watching it for the plot like lets use some critical thinking and observation skills everyone knows why those movies have fans

i thot yall wanted shitty horror movies back like why r we discounting terrifier’s place in the culture

#and this is not me saying art is a fkn michael myers or jason or whoever the fuck ur dickriding #but like . a) terrifier has had a massive impact in the past few years #dont discredit it just bc its not ur thing #b) as far as modern horror is concerned . theyre arent many new series out that have villains #that have as much of a ‘style’ as art does #c) what is the criteria for a good slasher villain ?????? #he has creative fucked up brutal kills #he mostly has a shtick #hes more or less human who is objectively evil #i completely understand not enjoying or gaf abt the terrifier movies #but is it so serious that we have to undermine his place in horror and as a slasher villain #idk i didnt mean for this to be so long it just had me thinking #dead.txt