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theyoungoneed · 11 months

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Title: Bloody Kiss

Summary: reader is searching for Klaus in the woods of the bayou and ends up finding him not in a way they expected. Klaus begs reader to leave but reader refuses resulting in a shocking ending.

Word Count: 670

Warnings: blood, dead bodies

A/N: not edited

“Klaus!” I yell, running through the backwoods of the bayou. The night fog thickens around me as I struggle to keep my balance without tripping. Tangled branches keep grabbing at my legs like coily fingers pulling me under, cutting through my skin.

“Klaus! Klaus!” No response. All I can see in front of me is the staggering mist coming from my warm breath. The moon was full. The woods were quiet.

“Klaus!” I yell sprinting faster. Suddenly my foot catches onto something heavy, and I trip forward, falling onto my knees. I looked back to see what it was, and to my dismay it was a dead body. I quickly got up and started to run again, although this time I had nowhere to run, since a tall figure was standing right there in front of me. It was Klaus. He slowly turns to face me. Covered in blood with a heart in his hand made a quick gasp escape my throat. He drops the heart onto the ground revealing a horrific scattered display of massacred bodies.

My shaking hands covered my mouth. I wanted to scream and run. Tears developed in my eyes. I slowly look up at him.

“What did you do? Who are all these people?”

“You shouldn’t be here,” he says dodging my question. “Go away.”

“No, answer my question Klaus. Who are they? Why did you do it?”

“Please, go away,” he begs. “You shouldn’t see me like this.” He turns his back to me.

“See you like what? Like this? I am not leaving until you explain to me who and why you-

“Because this is who I am!” he snapped. “This is what I do!” His bloody mouth spit out blood through his teeth as he yelled. My lips quivered as I watched him pace around in a circle running his hands through his hair, clearly distraught to see him in such a state. He clenches and unclenches his bloodstained knuckles. His glaring eyes meet mine.

“What if I hurt you?”

“You won’t. I know you won’t hurt me,” I tell him, shaking my head.

“But what if I do,” he says walking towards me. My heart skips a beat as he gets closer. “I’m a vampire and I feed when I’m hungry until there’s nothing left to feed on, and when I’m angry I’m a werewolf, and tear whatever stands in my way limb to limb, and I can’t bear the chance of doing either to you, so go,” he demands.

“I’m not afraid of you.”

“It would be better if you were, love. We can’t be friends and from here on out we can’t know each other. I regret dragging you into all this.”

“Fine, “ I tell him. “If you think it’s best to go our separate ways, fine, but do you know what I don’t regret Klaus? Meeting you. I don’t regret meeting you because even with all the vicious and cruel things you do, deep down under all that darkness is light. Light and kindness of which I have never seen.” I try to compose my shaky breath and watery eyes from falling down my cheeks. “Meeting you opened a whole new world for me that I never knew even existed.” I take a deep breath. “So, if you think this is for the best then so be it. Just know it was great to have a friend like you to lean on.”

We held each other's eyes knowing it would be the last. A small tear ran down my cheek as I slowly began to turn away when all of a sudden in a quick moment, soft lips touched my own while warm sticky hands cupped my cheeks. All at once my brain reacted to fight or flight mode. I broke away from his kiss and slapped him. Breathless, I touched my finger to my lips. The strange metallic taste mixed with something else lingered in my mouth. That was the first time I had tasted human blood.

#the originals #the originals fanfiction #the originals imagine #the originals x reader #klaus mikaelson #klaus mikealson fanfiction #oneshot #klaus mikealson x reader #klaus oneshot #klaus mikaleson imagine #tvd universe #new orleans #the originals fic #TVD

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fancywasmyname93 · 7 months

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✶ Take Me Away (1) ✶

◼︎ Duff McKagan/OC multi-chapter story ◼︎ ✖︎ Warnings: Cursing Author's note: I just want to thank everyone that has commented and liked the first installment of the story. I hope you enjoy the new chapter and if you would like to be added to the taglist, please let me know :) ⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆⍆

1989 Los Angeles, CA

“I wouldn’t say it was the best film I’ve seen this year – far from it actually. The lead male was trying his best but poor Charlie Nelson just dragged him down with her lackluster performance. I understand she was the top choice for this film, but there are plenty of other girls – more deserving – that the director could have chosen. I hate to say this but since she’s grown into her looks, her acting personality has become horrendous. Stick to magazine covers, sweetheart.”

“Turn it off.” I mumbled as I dipped deeper into the cushion. I could feel my face turn hot with sadness and anger, a tear threatening to spill past my lashes.

My mom took a seat on the chair’s arm, her hand rubbing circles onto my bare shoulder. “You don’t listen to them, baby doll.” She spoke. “You are a fantastic little actress – you worked your ass off to get to where you are.”

“Well, apparently it’s my looks that are generating the attention.” I picked away at the polish on my fingers. “It’s always about my looks – never about the acting. They always look past the acting and go straight for the looks.” It had been this way since I was a teenager. I didn’t want to be like those in the past that were only recognized for what they did during their childhood years. I didn’t want to be just known for being Lottie Jones – the little girl that ran around in dirty overalls with her farm animals. I was 24 years old – I wanted to be a part of grown-up roles – complex and daring roles that so many others were getting. I can’t tell you how many auditions I would go to, only to get told that I was too innocent for the role. This was the first film that let me branch out, only to get massacred by the critics for being “lackluster.”

“You are a beautiful girl, Charlotte.” I looked up at my mom. “Some people can only see beauty – they don’t see the talent that’s behind a gorgeous face. Hell, you could be the smartest woman on this earth and I’m sure they would only focus on your beauty. They’re men! Men only think with the appendage between their legs, not the brain in their head, sugar bean.”

The kitchen phone rang out, taking me out of my thoughts as I watched my mom retrieve the call. The call ended just as fast as she answered it. “Who was it?” Her eyes connecting with mine.

“That was Simon-“ She paused. “Said he wanted you to meet him at the office in an hour.” Simon Kerr was my longtime manager. He was there from the very beginning – giving a little girl from the backwoods of Georgia the chance of a lifetime.

“Did he say why?” My question causing her to shake her head. My brain was spitting out different scenarios – getting fired, another movie, the crushing of my dreams. All these thoughts raced through my mind as the car he had sent over sped to the large office in the middle of Hollywood. I took the elevator all the way up to the 43rd floor, his receptionist greeting me with a smile as I arrived.

“There’s my girl!” Simon exclaimed as he walked out of the office. “Looking breathtaking as ever.” I rolled my eyes as he engulfed me in a hug, his cologne being a favorite of mine since childhood.

“Are you firing me?” I blurted out.

He quickly pulled away from the hug, his hands holding onto my arms. “No.” He looked confused. “Why on earth would I fire you?” I shrugged my shoulders as I mentally kicked myself. “You’re the ticket, Kid.” He smiled big. “I would never get rid of you even if you begged me too.”

We made the short walk to his office, another man standing once we entered the room. He was dressed similar to Simon – grey suite and balding features. “You must be the famous Charlie Nelson?” He smiled as he stuck out his hand for me to shake. I looked between him and Simon, confusion now written on my face.

“Charlie-“ Simon spoke. “I want you to meet Neil Sanders – he’s gonna be working with us on your next project.” I shook the man’s hand. “We’re gonna be working very closely with Neil and his client.” The man gave me a wink as I took my seat in front of Simon’s desk.

“You wanna bring him in and we’ll get everything started?” I watched the interaction between the two men as Neil nodded his head. He walked over to the cracked door at the opposite side of the room, signaling for the person on the other side to enter. His arrogance entered the room first, overshadowing his tall body. His hair was messy and long – a white cowboy hat perched on top of the rat’s nest. His eyes covered by aviator sunglasses, shielding which direction he was looking. The outfit he had on was straight from the Sunset Strip – reeking of stale cigarettes and alcohol.

I didn’t bother getting up to greet him like Simon had done- simply choosing to keep my eyes on the denim skirt I was wearing. I picked at the frays as the mystery guy took his seat beside mine – his presence causing my body to stiffen.

“Charlie-“ Simon spoke. “I would like to introduce you to Duff McKagan.”

I glanced over at the guy, giving him a small smile before turning my attention back to Simon. “Duff is the bassist for Guns N Roses.” I stayed silent. “I’m sure you’ve heard of them.” I chose not to answer causing Neil and Simon to share glances.

The click of a lighter caught my attention as Duff lit up a cigarette. “Do you mind?” I finally spoke. His head cut in my direction, a slight smirk forming on his lips as he blew the smoke in my direction. I rolled my eyes in annoyance as I waved the smoke out of my face.

A sigh left Simon’s lips as he rounded the desk, perching himself in front of the three of us. “Charlie –“ He began. “I’ve been thinking long and hard about this-“ He paused again. “You’re at a point in your career that needs a boost to get you to the spot where I know you can be. I know the critics have torn you apart over the last film but I feel like you need something that will allow you to break out of this good girl, wholesome trademark that you’ve created.”

“It’s the 80s, sweetheart.” Neil jumped in. “It’s a time to be alive – show the world that you’re no longer that little pigtailed girl anymore.”

I shifted in my seat as I looked at the two men with confusion. “I don’t understand where this is going?” A snort sounding from next to me. “What exactly am I supposed to be doing and what does he have to do with it?” I pointed towards Duff.

Neil and Simon’s eyes connected, “I think you should be the one that tells her, Simon.” Neil suggested. “I’ve already explained it to Duff.”

The room turned silent and I could have sworn I saw Simon’s heart beating out of his chest. “Charlotte –“ His voice dropping an octave. “Neil and I have been talking and thinking over this for a while –“ He once again stalled. “I’ve even discussed this with your mother and she agrees.” I could feel my anger start to rise as I leaned forward. “Duff is in the biggest rock band around right now – bigger than the Beatles. He’s made a few mistakes out in the public – drunken mistakes.”

“What your manager is trying to say is that I want you and Duff to have contracted relationship.” Neil interjected. “You two are to be married within two months – MTV will be televising the nuptials and you will be together until I saw otherwise. There will be no mentions of divorce or seeing other people in public. Duff has been making an ass of himself lately and you need to crack out of your fucking shell. Why not put two complete opposite people together and see what happens? Who knows – you might learn to enjoy yourself, sweetheart.”

My whole body was frozen with the information – rendering me speech and motionless. “Now Charlie-“ Simon started, sensing the complete panic that was coursing through my body. “This is not a permanent situation. This is to just help yo-“

“This is a fucking joke, right?” I spat. “I have to be on some kind of hidden camera show right now.” I looked at the three men. “You can’t be serious right now, Simon.” He looked down at the floor. My attention turned to the man seated next to me – the same cigarette hanging between his lips. “And you-“ My voice raised. “Even if I knew who the hell you were, you couldn’t pay me a million dollars to marry someone like you - Sunset boulevard trash!”

“That’s enough, Charlie.” Simone spoke.

I shook my head, standing up. “You can’t make me do this, Simon.”

“Either you do it or your career is history, little girl.” Simon and I both looked over at Neil. “I have all the power in this situation. I can make you or break you down to your knees and send you back to bumfuck Georgia where your little country bumpkin ass came from.”

I narrowed my eyes at the man, “Are you threatening me?”

Neil slowly nodded his head, a wicked smirk lying on his face. “Try me, princess.”

“Please just think of all the work you're gonna get, Charlie.” Simon smiled. “Your name will be everywhere and we can finally get you to the next level of stardom. That’s what you always wanted, kid.”

I stumbled back into my seat, my hands pulling at my auburn hair. I felt like I was going to throw up – pass out even. The career that I had built up for the past 17 years was on the brink of extinction if I didn’t agree. An agreement that made me marry a man I’ve never met.

“I have a crew that’s gonna meet you at your mother’s house – moving, wedding planner, personal stylist. You will be moving into Duff’s house and the two of you have a week to learn about each other. What each other likes, dislikes, your childhood, favorite food, etcetera.”

“Don’t you think that’s a bit much, Neil.” I looked at up at Simon. “I mean they just met each other and now you’re making her move in with the guy?”

Neil reached into his suit jacket, pulling out a cigarette case. He stayed silent as he lit the stick, his eyes narrowing towards Simon. “You’re the one that told me whatever needs to be done, Simon. Don’t pussy out on me just because your favorite little starlet is shedding a few tears. Duff will take good care of her – teach her a few things along the way.” His eyes connecting with mine. “She’ll get over it.”

I glanced over at Duff, his eyes still shaded by the sunglasses he wore. He must’ve felt my stare as he turned in my direction, the light in the room casting enough light to see that he was staring right back. “No one’s gonna believe that we’re a couple.” I spoke more towards him. “I would never go for a guy like you.”

He shifted in his seat, a smirk forming on his face. “Stuck up bitches aren’t really my type either but you don’t see me complaining.”

#duff mckagan imagine #duff mckagan gnr #duff mckagan smut #duff mckagan #duff mckagan x reader #guns n roses imagine #guns n roses #1980s

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yrn-te-ao · 1 month

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can pākehā go more than five fucking seconds without feeling an incessant need to stipulate that the person who committed the christchurch massacre was an australian citizen?

the moment it was known he was australian, the white settler populace have continually attempted to wash their hands of the part that our white settler-colonial society played in this atrocity, as if his australian citizenship proves some sort of metaphysical disconnect between us and him.

this country did not learn a fucking thing from this massacre. so long as we continually live in this British Samsara of a nation, the settlers of aotearoa are never going to beat lenin's "inveterate, backwoods, egotistical philistines" allegations.

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lyledebeast · 8 months

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Gentlemen, Rustics, Accents, and Imperialism

Reflecting on binary oppositions in The Patriot, I'm surprised (and a little embarrassed) that I haven't discussed one of the more obvious ones: foreigner/native. Oh, this is a thorny one! For the sake of what I'm hoping and praying will be brevity, for once, I'm going to focus on how this distinction is portrayed through characters' accents. It turns out that accent choices do a lot of heavy lifting in this film to conceal historical truths, particularly those that paint South Carolina Patriots in an unflattering light.

The first accent to cover is the most often heard foreign one, and it is, almost, one accent. Although the 18th century British Army was full of men who joined to escape a life of poverty or at least found it be a better option for supporting their families than the professions available at home, we never hear them. There are no Cockney redcoats in this film. The accent we do hear often--from Cornwallis, O'Hara and Tavington--belongs to the landed gentry. The only British character who does not share it is the wounded private Tavington interviews after Martin's massacre in the woods, who is also the only speaking British soldier below the rank of captain. By comparison, the Americans have different accents and are represented by people of different classes, upholding a distinction between the oppressed, poor native-born population and an oppressive, wealthy foreign one that has little basis in historical reality.

While the difference in class and accent for Americans is more accurate, the accents themselves are not. The one belonging to Martin and his children, Charlotte Selton, the Howards, and James Wilkins is recognizably American but not distinctly Southern. More likely, Colonists would have had accents reminiscent of their, or their parents', country of origin (something AMC's Turn: Washington's Spies captures far more effectively than The Patriot). The development of distinct, regional accents takes generations. Interestingly, the more rustic characters, the ones we first meet when Martin and Villeneuve recruit at the rowdy tavern, do have clear, modern Southern accents. I'll return to this later, but for now I wonder why there has been time for some South Carolinians to develop a thick backwoods Southern accent but not for others to develop the kind of genteel Southern drawl spoken by such specimens as the Epps in Steve McQueen's 12 Years a Slave. In this respect, Charlotte and Tavington are near perfect opposites. He has lost the land and wealth that were his birthright but kept his accent; she lacks the accent but has the plantation full of inherited slaves.

It also bears mentioning that all the Black characters, enslaved and free, have American accents even though the transatlantic slave trade was still in full force and Charleston harbor was the busiest slave port in the colonies. Occam and Martin's workers could just as easily have had African accents, but perhaps that would too readily remind the audience that they did not simply co-exist with White South Carolinians but had, or been born to parents who had, been kidnapped from another continent and brought to the colony against their will.

Another accent The Patriot wholly silences is, of course, Cherokee. Indeed, no Cherokee person speaks in the film at all even though fighting them is a significant part of Martin and other characters' backstories. Part of the reason characters like Rollins and Billings do have recognizably Southern accents is likely deference to the stereotype that Southerners are more "rustic" than Americans from other regions, but there is something even darker at play. Since regional accents take so long to develop, that the characters Martin fought the Cherokees alongside have one indicates that their families have also inhabited this land for a very long time. The narrative presents them as South Carolina natives at the expense of the actual Native people they forced to give up land they'd inhabited for centuries even as they rebelled against oppression at the hands of British "foreigners."

That there are two scenes featuring Cherokees filmed but not included in the final cut--a flashback to Fort Wilderness at the beginning and a a brief, unheard exchange between Tavington and Cherokee scouts--illustrates the difficulty of fully erasing Native people from the history of place in which they played such a significant role. Similarly, we see many Black people on Charlotte's plantation and in the sea island community to which she and Martin's children escape, but almost all of them are in non-speaking roles. The Patriot asks us to sympathize with South Carolinian Patriots for their oppression under British rule but ignore their participation in the "ugly business" of imperialism through African slavery and Native genocide. The story may not be able to erase people without whom colonial South Carolina would be wholly unrecognizable, but it can certainly silence them.

#the patriot #imperialism #african slavery #native genocide #accents #american revolution #south carolina history #whew #this isn't too terribly long

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caniaskyouabouttoday · 8 months

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Fire Fly With Me

“I was the color red in a world full of black and white.”

RIP Windham Rotunda “Bray Wyatt” 1987-2023

This has been a tragic week for wrestling. Yesterday, Terry Funk, a 79 year old second generation legend died. Funk had a 52 year career spanning practically every promotion and continent. A first ballot Hall of Famer in every sense of the word, who even had a little sideline in Hollywood; Terry Funk was an old man who had done everything you can possibly do in wrestling and then much more. He accomplished his goals.

Today, a third generation wrestler, the son of Mike Rotunda, grandson of Blackjack Mulligan, and nephew of Barry Windham; Bray Wyatt passed away. After an electric return last fall it felt like there was either an unclear plan for his run or a creative difference between the performer and management. Following a match that was a neon splattered gimmicky promotion to sell Mountain Dew at the January Royal Rumble; Bray Wyatt once again took his leave. Rumors swirled that there were creative differences, Bray having personal issues, and even one of a prolonged illness. Today Bray Wyatt passed away of a heart attack caused by COVID-19 exacerbating existing heart problems.

Bray Wyatt, and another legacy talent - the son of Mr. Perfect, Joe Hennig made their WWE debut with the very unfortunate and puzzling ring names of “Husky Harris” and “Michael McGillicutty” respectively. The pair floundered after debuting in a big angle and returned to the developmental territories for repackaging.

Rotunda created the character Bray Wyatt, a sort of backwoods cultist who harkened to the character Max Cady in Cape Fear; portrayed by both Robert Mitchum and Robert DeNiro on screen. Wyatt also paid homage in his presentation to another Mitchum character, Reverend Harry Powell from Night of the Hunter. The character was awash in cinema; with his followers reminded attentive fans of The Last House on the Left and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Despite some fans initially heckling the repackaging with chants of “Husky Harris” when he debuted; Wyatt made a splash quickly and very soon erased the perception left by his failed first WWE tenure. Before he even had spent a year in the organization he was poised as the next generation’s supernatural, eerie badass - an elder millennial replacement to the aging, semi-retired Undertaker.

His first Wrestlemania match could not have been bigger for the character. One on one with John Cena at the 30th WrestleMania he was poised to go to the next level. Everything pointed to a Wyatt victory; after defeating The Rock at the most bought WrestleMania ever the previous year it was clear Cena was winding down and leaving his prime. He had one foot out the door for a film and television career and many fans who had grown up cheering his white meat kid friendly act had outgrown Cena.

WrestleMania 30 was held in New Orleans, clearly a town that has more in common with Wyatt than Cena. After an epic entrance with a band of plague doctors playing him to the ring as the crowd held their phone flashlights high the audience sang “He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands” cheering Wyatt to victory. Inexplicably, Cena defeated the rising star clean in the middle of the ring. This did nothing for Cena’s already sky high profile but did not seem to take all the wind out of Wyatt’s sails.

Wyatt’s popularity persisted and he marched towards a WrestleMania match with The Undertaker the next year. The Undertaker’s WrestleMania win streak had ended the year prior and if there ever was a moment for a changing of the guard it was their match at WrestleMania 31. Instead of holding that torch aloft, Bray looked up at the lights of Levi’s Stadium as The Undertaker pinned him with his signature Tombstone piledriver.

This was not the final resting place of the Wyatt character though, he captured the WWE title in 2017. This unfortunately led to a series of comically awful matches with Randy Orton and a baffling feud and then pairing with Matt Hardy.

It was clear that the character had been derailed by 2018. Wyatt was taken off TV for a prolonged absence; but soon vignettes featuring a corrupted children’s television show of evil puppets began to air. These led to Wyatt returning in a brilliant dual character; the sweater clad children’s entertainer Bray Wyatt; who hosted his Firefly Fun House; an homage to Mr Rogers’s Neighborhood, Blues Clues, and especially Pee Wee’s Playhouse (eerily hosted by the recently passed Paul Reubens.) The show would feature the puppets being sadistic to each other, Bray barely containing his rage and bitterness beneath the calm, sweater-clad veneer he put forth. Bray would work through his personal issues via bizarre skits with his cast of demented puppets. Huskus the Pig Boy was an effigy to his resentments about his debut; Mercy the Buzzard was a sly homage to Dan Spivey’s short lived Waylon Mercy character who was an antecedent of Wyatt. A devil horned muppet version of WWE chairman Vince McMahon would guest on the show.

The sweater barely strait jacked his other personality, The Fiend. A psychopath in a human flesh mask bent on torture and cruelty who could not be stopped inside the ring. The Fiend adopted Mankind’s Mandible Claw as a finisher, itself a reference to killer Samuel Sheppard.

Wyatt’s new character was unstoppable and took the WWE by storm capturing the title and minting money for the company on their merchandise site. Wyatt was back and living up to the promise of his debut. He was headed towards the Undertaker level.

Then in February 2020, in a widely derided decision, The Fiend was soundly beaten by ancient, creaky Goldberg to build to a later canceled match against Roman Reigns that was violently rejected by fans.

In March 2020 the world shut down due to the pandemic. Fans could not attend WrestleMania and we were in for a bizarre and surreal show in an empty soundstage. Wyatt was set for a rematch with John Cena for the show initially set for a football stadium in sunny Tampa Bay. If ever there was a moment for the kind of wrestler that has guitar playing plague doctors set the stage for his entrance, it was now.

The match with Cena was to be a “Firefly Fun House” match. Nobody knew what this entailed. What we were about to witness, is in my opinion, the greatest match of the 2020s. The Firefly Fun House is a beautiful expression of a “post wrestling” era we live in. By 2020 most fans who have been following wrestling for decades pay cursory attention to the modern performers and their storylines and matches in the ring. Backstage drama, old timers sniping at each other on podcasts, fan nostalgia and review shows, and twitter beefs had supplanted modern wrestling to most fans.

In a cinematic match, a new wrestling format that would become a trope of the pandemic era, Bray and the WWE created a surrealist nightmare that had more in common with a David Lynch film than a grappling bout.

Bray had an axe to grind with Cena for his disappointment when Cena poured water on his burning hot career six years earlier in New Orleans. Ever the psychological sadist, Bray crafted a dream logic nightmare for Cena to enter that makes him confront his failures, insecurities, and disappointments just like Wyatt had for Cena-related setbacks going back all the way to 2010.

It also takes us on a tour of wrestling history; using beloved totems of different generations like the “Big Blue” cage and the Smackdown fist to play mind games with us, the fans about why we love this stuff and why we care.

Cena’s iconic theme plays before the empty soundstage to an eerie and uncomfortable silence that does not belong with it. It feels so alien and wrong without explosive dueling boos and cheers. Cena walks out on the stage as a broken montage of WrestleMania 1 clips cut to Bray inside the Firefly Fun House, giving a Rod Serling introduction to the insecurities made manifest within.

“You’re about to face your most dangerous opponent yet, yourself,” Wyatt threatens with unseemly glee. Wyatt departs and Rambling Rabbit points Cena towards Wyatt’s whereabouts.

Cena enters a black room and looks around briefly until a puppet McMahon lays down a gauntlet similar to what he did for Cena way back in 2002. Cena begins on an A Christmas Carol like visit of the ghost of Cena’s past. Wyatt stages a reenactment of Cena’s debut loss to Kurt Angle; which a much older Cena responds to in his rookie ring gear. In keeping with the dream logic Cena is unable to hit Wyatt as he mocks him with a cartoon soundboard and a series of verbal potshots.

Cut to the iconic introduction of Saturday Night’s Main Event in its heyday complete with the classic “Obsession” by Animotion. Wyatt cuts a standard shouting 80s promo behind the big blue cage, introducing Cena as “Johnny Largemeat” - Cena cannot stop curling dumbells and starts maniacally thrashing them until he loses control of his arms.

We then flash to Cena reprising his early freestyle rapper character, who is cursed with a strange form of mutism where he can only speak in raps. Cena attempts to turn the tables on Wyatt verbally; but Wyatt quickly rebuttals him and changes the narrative to remind Cena of those he stepped on climbing the ranks and that it’s lonely at the top. Cena still cannot physically attack Wyatt, and his attempt gets him knocked out.

Cut to a sermonizing Wyatt, regressing to his 2014 form, revisiting the heartbreak of WrestleMania 30.

Wyatt taunts Cena to hit him with a chair, he’s unable to.

Cut to Cena and Wyatt in nWo t shirts and black jeans, a visual even more bizarre than Cena’s grand WrestleMania entrance on an empty soundstage. Cena can finally attack Wyatt and tackles him and brutalizes him with punches, until Wyatt is replaced with the Huskus puppet.

The Fiend appears in the ring, materializing behind Cena to deliver the mandible claw. The Fiend pins Cena as we show sweater Bray gleefully counting the pinfall, Did Bray right his wrong? Was Cena swayed to some sort of dark side - there are moments where it feels like Cena has become the alternate Dale Coopers from Twin Peaks The Return with character flourishes akin to the evil “Coop” and the strange, simple “Dougie.”

There is so much packed into the editing and storytelling of this match that I could not possibly do it justice. When everything has been done that you can do in a wrestling match - what’s next? Instead of a wrestling match where you wrestle, hold a “wrestling match” about wrestling.

Elvis Costello once quipped that writing about music was like dancing about architecture. I assume he doesn’t own any 33 1/3 books.

A wrestling match that replaces contesting wrestling with being about wrestling was perfect for the turn of this new decade and many years of fan ennui. At a time where fans are more curious about all the things that happen outside of the squared circle that lead to the action inside it, it fulfilled a need we didn’t know we had. I recommend giving this, alongside the excellent Wyatt Family vs The Shield bout from Elimination Chamber 2014 where you also see Wyatt’s partner Luke Harper, aka Brodie Lee in action. Wyatt is pre deceased by Harper.

Sadly, that was about the peak of The Fiend character. An ill fated partnership with Alexa Bliss that never quite struck the right tone was a miss during the empty arena era. At WrestleMania 37, the first show in a year before live fans, The Fiend lost to Randy Orton in a match that was widely panned. The two third generation stars had a toxic anti-chemistry with each other and WWE kept returning to the pairing for reasons that feel like sabotage in hindsight. Wyatt was off TV for several months and shockingly released outright in the summer of that year.

After a prolonged absence and various hints at a comeback; Wyatt returned last fall at Extreme Rules in a thrilling segment to an explosive response. Sadly, the creative direction for Wyatt never found its legs. Behind the scenes it’s unclear if there was a creative struggle before Wyatt fell ill.

Bray was supposed to be the next Undertaker, and he wasn’t. He was the first, the only, and the inimitable Bray Wyatt. A backwoods preacher of doom and mayhem, a sadistic Ed Gein type killer, and a smiling, laughing, but unhinged children’s TV host. Already having demonstrated a knack for reinvention, Bray could have been many more things. He will have to be those in the imagination of the fans now.

What he did leave was important and memorable. I believe he had a Hall of Fame career, and though that claim may be controversial and contentious; that is the nature of the Wyatt character. He may have been polarizing, but everyone had an opinion on him, and not indifference; and I know wrestling fans universally feel like wrestling is suffering a tremendous loss. Even if he didn’t do something that connected with your tastes, he had something in his bag of tricks that would some day.

So smash your flashlight button one last time for Bray Wyatt and hold it up high. As the Undertaker himself would say, Rest In Peace.

#bray wyatt #the fiend #wwe #uncle howdy

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noxhell · 11 months

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#Backwood: The Camp Massacre #2022 #Simon Spachmann #horror #splatter #short film #Backwood The Camp Massacre #Garden of Gore Production #Emrah Zabun #Manuel Teichert #short movie #slasher #horror short #color #gifs

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thecreaturecodex · 2 years

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Wazoon

[Commissioned by @crazytrain48. This is an Arduin-adjacent monster. It didn’t appear in any “official” Arduin book, but was written by Dave Hargrave for the All the World’s Monsters series, a collection of three mimeographed books of monsters, many of which had previously appeared in Arduin products. They’re very charming. The wazoon’s entry makes references to “rasslin” and “fermented bungleberry juice”, so it’s pretty clear it’s supposed to be a fantasy version of a Comedy Hillbilly. Pathfinder already has evil hillbilly stereotypes as monsters in the ogre, so it felt right to connect the two. Less Texas Chainsaw Massacre, more Snuffy Smith. And tredlocity’s art definitely captures the Li’l Abner vibe.]

Wazoon CR 4 N Humanoid (Giant) This oversized humanoid creature has scaly yellow skin, blank pink eyes, and long purple hair. It wears no armor, but carries an enormous sword.

A wazoon is a boisterous, bold type of giant found in backwoods and hill country. Their own creation myth holds that they are the descendants of a tribe of ogres that were transformed into creatures with more sense, intelligence and a clashing color palette by fey, following some unwitting good deed the ogre performed for the fey. Different clans have different ideas about what that deed was, and what kind of fey was involved, but all of them feel deeply indebted to fey creatures. As such, wazoons are exceedingly friendly to gnomes, halflings, and anyone else under three feet tall, in case they are fey or fey in disguise. Elves, on the other hand, are typically disliked for being snooty and condescending.

Wazoons like physical sports and games, particularly those that rely on muscle over agility. Wrestling is their favorite, and wazoons will often challenge anyone or anything vaguely humanoid to a wrestling contest as a way of making friends or settling disputes. These are typically nonlethal affairs from the wazoon’s end, but if a foe insists on drawing blood, a wazoon will do the same. Wazoons are literally fearless, and may enter a rage if injured—a raging wazoon doesn’t back down, and often fights to the death.

The most important thing to a wazoon is its clan, which is usually sprawling and consists of several intermarried families. Wazoon clans sometimes go to war with each other, sometimes come together for marriages or festivals, and often have established wrestling rivalries, complete with team colors and songs. Wazoons love food and drink, and have a remarkable tolerance for poisons. Most toxins affect them with mere drunkenness instead of illness and death, and wazoon cuisine often contains poisonous berries, mushrooms and other stuff that would kill or debilitate a non-wazoon. Wazoon moonshine is coveted as an intoxicant by the foolhardy and to sterilize medical equipment by people with more sense.

A wazoon stands between seven and nine feet tall. Males and females both wear their hair long and braided, and armor is seen as a cowardly choice. Their teeth, fingernails and bones are green in hue.

Wazoon CR 4 XP 1,200 N Large humanoid (giant) Init +5; Senses low-light vision, Perception +4 Defense AC 18, touch 10, flat-footed 17 (-1 size, +1 Dex, +8 natural) hp 42 (5d8+20) Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +1 Immune fear Defensive Abilities metabolize poison Offense Speed 40 ft. Melee greatsword +7 (2d8+7/19-20) Space 10 ft.; Reach 10 ft. Special Attacks blood rage Statistics Str 21, Dex 13, Con 19, Int 8, Wis 10, Cha 12 Base Atk +3; CMB +9 (+11 when grappling); CMD 20 (22 vs. grapple) Feats Improved Grapple (B), Improved Initiative, Martial Weapon Proficiency (greatsword), Power Attack Skills Climb +9, Intimidate +5, Perception +4, Profession (brewer) +4, Survival +4 Languages Common, Giant Ecology Environment temperate forest and hills Organization solitary, pair, party (3-8) or camp (9-24 plus 50% noncombatants) Treasure standard (greatsword, other treasure) Special Abilities Metabolize Poison (Ex) If a wazoon fails a saving throw against a poison effect, it does not take ability damage or drain. It instead is sickened for 10 minutes per point of ability damage or drain it would take. A wazoon can still suffer other effects from a poison (such as sleep from drow poison), and can still take ability damage or drain from another source (like a wraith’s touch or a disease).

#wazoon #giant #arduin #all the world's monsters #pathfinder 1e #tredlocity #commissions

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watching-pictures-move · 8 months

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Movie Review | House of Wax (Collet-Serra, 2005)

Watching this in 2023, this feels very much like a blast from a the past, a snapshot of what the horror genre was like in the mid-2000s. At the time, you started to get the remakes of beloved classics, with the Platinum Dunes Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Zack Snyder's Dawn of the Dead having come out before this one. (I hated the former when I saw it years ago but consider the latter one of the better horror movies of the decade and an interesting Bush era document to boot.) I haven't seen the original House of Wax (but probably should as it stars Vincent Price) or Mystery of the Wax Museum which I understand originates some of the story ideas here (but probably should as it's directed by Michael Curtiz) and doubt this one has too much in common with the earlier films, but I suppose the name is a cheap enough way for the studio to milk more money out of an existing IP.

You also had the found footage boom more or less kicked off by The Blair Witch Project. This is not a found footage movie, but it does have sequences shot on camcorders, which are supposed to capture the characters having a good time, but have the effect of a last known photo, especially with the lo-fi image. There is also imagery here, like a hot wax needle contraption that a character gets strapped to, and the forcible restraining of a child to a rusty chair, that brings to mind the torture porn wave, but the movie is generally indebted to the resurgence in "mean" horror, with the work of Rob Zombie and Eli Roth and some of the more violent entries in the remake wave. For whatever reason I'd mistakenly assumed that this was rated PG-13, and was caught off guard by the gnarlier acts of violence: slashed tendon, lopped off finger, impaled head. And while I likely wouldn't have appreciated it at the time, I did find the jaundiced texture of the movie, which is probably easier to pull off when shooting on film with its tactility than with digital smoothness. And the wax figures that populate the movie lend to the atmosphere of decay and allow things to get nice and goopy when things start melting in the climax, although I should note that the wax figures of colour bear an unfortunate resemblance to C. Thomas Howell's character in Soul Man but that the wax figures of Caucasian descent sadly do not resemble Eddie Murphy in "White Like Me".

Anyway, I doubt this is anybody's favourite movie from the era, but I had a pretty good time. On top of the gruesome violence and the atmosphere, there are some pretty suspenseful sequences, particularly one where the heroine tries to evade detection in a theatre playing Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? I watched this the same night as Cabin Fever, and while both movies play on anxieties about backwoods folk in a very Bush era way, I appreciated how much more tolerable the characters were in this, even if the cast members all look like they're from a CW show. Elisha Cuthbert I'd known at the time as the girl from Popular Mechanics for Kids, and she's a perfectly capable horror heroine here. The guy from Supernatural (not the guy everybody likes, the other guy) is fine too. Maybe Chad Michael Murray is a bit bland, but not offensively so. Apparently he's doing geezer teasers now? If he's playing the geezers, he's likely grown his range.

And I remember this being heavily marketed on the basis of Paris Hilton's role, and people playing up how bad she's supposed to be. Maybe because I avoided engaging with anything she was in at the time (which sounds like it could have been hard given how popular her show was, but one should not underestimate how good I was at putting in zero effort to keep up with current pop culture, something which still holds for anything outside cinema) and thus bear little contempt toward her, but I thought she was perfectly adequate, and I appreciate that both she and the movie treat each other with a baseline of seriousness. There could have been much more obnoxious versions of the movie, where either she phones it in or the movie uses her as a punchline. Anyway, I think Ebert describes her performance best: "The early reviewers have been harsh with Miss Hilton ('so bad she steals the show,' says The Hollywood Reporter), but actually she is no better or worse than the typical Dead Post-Teenager, and does exactly what she is required to do in a movie like this, with all the skill, admittedly finite, that is required."

#film #movie review #house of wax #jaume collet serra

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solivar · 1 year

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Halloween Reblogs

From the Ghost Stories On Route 66 Collection:

Ghost Stories On Route 66: Hanzo Shimada is an expatriate student of the Fine Arts, attending college in what he assumes to be a reasonably sedate corner of the American southwest. Jesse McCree is an occasionally leather-clad NPS ranger whose duties extend somewhat further than shooing lost tourists back onto the clearly marked hiking trails. Something weird is going on in the desert south of Santa Fe and their lives unexpectedly come together in the middle of it.

Ghost Stories On Route 66 - Nagaina - Overwatch (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]

Massacre In Deadlock Gorge: A Ten Year Retrospective: A special report on the terrible events of October 29th, 2066, and related historical context by Olivia Colomar of Paranormal New Mexico.

Massacre In Deadlock Gorge: A Ten Year Retrospective - Nagaina - Overwatch (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]

Excerpts From 'Into the Red Zone: A Guide To the Weird' by Paranormal New Mexico: A collection of relevant excerpts from "Into the Red Zone: A Guide To the Weird" by the staff writers, correspondents, and contributors of the webzine/podcast Paranormal New Mexico.

Excerpts from 'Into the Red Zone: A Guide To the Weird' by Paranormal New Mexico - Nagaina - Overwatch (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]

From the Curse, Broken Collection:

One Bullet: Aka the one where Jesse McCree is a mercenary hexenjaeger for hire, Hanzo Shimada is a concerned big brother trying to rescue his idiot kid brother from the cult he ran off to join with his latest crush, and there are way more vampires than at least one of them expected.

One Bullet - Nagaina - Overwatch (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]

Curse, Broken: Aka the one where Jesse McCree is a mercenary hexenjaeger for hire, Hanzo Shimada is a concerned big brother trying to rescue his idiot kid brother from the cult he ran off to join with his latest crush, and there are way more vampires than at least one of them expected.

Aka, the sequel to One Bullet.

Curse, Broken - Nagaina - Overwatch (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]

In A Foxhole: A quick scouting mission in the backwoods of the Pacific Northwest -- hop in, hop out, report back if the situation requires more attention. Shouldn't be a problem for experienced hexenjaeger Jesse McCree and his not-quite-a-vampire partner, Hanzo Shimada, right?

It's a totally a problem.

In A Foxhole - Nagaina - Overwatch (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]

Because I actually wrote this one explicitly for Halloween:

The unnatural heat of the summer brought savage storms. The dry cool of the autumn brought unlooked for horror. And one monk of the Shambali Order chooses to risk much to stop it.

What the Storm Brought - Nagaina - Overwatch (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]

#Halloween Reblogs

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