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#bc god knows my brother won’t step up in my absence.
subarucarthief · 1 month
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straight up? i do not wanna do it anymore :)
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twinklelilstarkey · 3 years
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can i request an fluffy rafe imagine where he and reader break up (drugs) so sarah makes a girls night bc y/n it’s really sad and then rafe apologizes to her and they back together? omg i think it’s a little confuse..
A/N: Not confusing at all babe. I really like what you requested! Hope you enjoy it! — I’m sorry for not making it as fluffy as you probably wanted me too ❤️
Get help - Rafe Cameron
Words: 2.9k
Type: Angst & Fluff
Warnings: I- This is wayyy more sad that I intended it to be. Sorry? (Mentions of drug addiction and rehabilitation clinics, swearing... and I think that’s it)
DO NOT REPOST, REWRITE OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORK!
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It’s been a week since you last saw him and it still hurt. You miss him so much and it has become harder and harder to ignore these feelings. You have tried making yourself believe that this happened for the best of the two of you but it’s slowly getting tougher to swallow.
You and Rafe had been dating for years before that night happened, it still hurt to think of him.
You believe you’ve cried everything you could. Your body is now completely dehydrated and no tears are being created. In which you can’t help but thank with your now zombie-like mood.
“I’m going to get us a coffee, do you want anything else?” Sarah, your best friend, who is sitting next to you, asks.
You shake your head and she gives you a small smile. You stare back at the screen of your laptop, in hopes to finish what you were previously doing for school, and try to ignore all the sound around you.
You whisper the words you were reading to yourself, trying to make them make sense, but your peaceful silence is broken by a group of guys walking in the café. You sigh annoyed while staring at the screen, wanting to throw something at their loud mouths. But decide otherwise.
“Hey, Sarah. Haven’t seen you in a while” One of the guy says and you lift your eyes to where Sarah is standing.
Sarah smiles at Topper and starts a conversation as soon as she does it. You look away from them and look at the other person standing beside him, Rafe. He’s looking around himself, eyeing the inside of the café that he has never seen before. 
You force yourself to look away and lean back on the couch that you’re siting, trying to pay attention to something else other than him as your chest gets heavier and heavier by each second that passes.
Sarah says a little goodbye to Topper and ignores her brother’s presence before walking towards you. Rafe fakes trying to trip Sarah and she sends him a glare, which just made all the boys laugh. 
His eyes follow his sister and his smile falls at the sight of you staring at the screen of your laptop. You look up at Sarah as she hands you your drink and laugh at something she says.
He pleads, in his mind, for you to look up at him but you don’t do it. You’re too distracted with whatever his sister is saying to you. And only God knows that might be.
“Yo, Rafe. Can you please come back to Earth for a second?” Topper asks, making his best friend snap out of his thoughts.
“Yeah, what, sorry?”
(...)
“I promise it will be cool” Sarah insists, “We can spend the night watching movies and eating junk food”
“How is going to my ex boyfriend’s house going to help me move on or even feel better?” You ask as she lays comfortably in your bed.
“He’s never home at Friday’s!” She exclaims, “We’ll have the house to ourselves the whole night. It’s way better than staying here, where you need to have your door open because of your parents... Seriously, when are they going to trust you enough to close the door?”
You chuckle at her words and shake your head.
“Ah! Made you laugh!”
You roll your eyes and turn your attention back to your book.
“Now, can you please agree on coming over to my house? It will be so cool, I already have so many movies in mind. Oh! And soooo many snacks”
You think for a few seconds in silence.
“Please” She whispers into the air, looking at the ceiling, “You will have so much fuuun”
As Sarah is done singing her words, a smile fills your lips again and you sigh.
“Fine. But just tonight”
(...)
If Sarah could describe out loud what she’s feeling, she would have to do a whole essay. Because...
Why the fuck is Rafe still home at this time of day? Isn’t he supposed to be in a party?
The thing is, you’re almost getting to her house. Just like you had planned. There’s snacks on top of Sarah’s bed, the chosen movie is already paused at her bedroom tv and the pizza is also on its way.
Her 19 year old brother is the one fucking it all up. 
You’re supposed to come into her home to forget about him, and be calm and relaxed. And now, she feels like wherever she looks, Rafe’s there.
“Weren’t you supposed to be at a party today?” Sarah finally asks.
Rafe looks up from his phone, still leaning back on the kitchen counter, not even knowing that she had been glaring at him this whole time.
“Yeah, but I decided not to go” He answers with a shrug.
“Won’t that make you a bad friend?”
She’s using every play in the book now. She needs him gone for at least the whole night.
Rafe chuckles at his sister’s words and looks at her confused.
“No?”
Sarah sighs and walks over to the fridge when listening to his answer. Rafe follows her with his eyes as she fills a cup with water and curiosity takes over him.
“Why?”
“No reason”
“Bullshit”
Sarah rolls her eyes at his stubbornness and looks back before staring back at him.
“I wanted the whole house for myself and my friend, is that too much to ask?”
Rafe laughs.
“Since when am I such a bother to your little sleepovers? You never leave your room anyway”
Sarah opens her mouth to answer but the ringing of the doorbell stops her from doing so. Rafe lifts his eyebrows as if in surprise when seeing her reaction and lowers his eyes back to his phone.
Sarah glares at her brother when noticing that he isn’t planning on leaving the kitchen any soon and turns on her heels to go to the front door. 
As she walks closer to the door, she smiles at you through the glass and opens it.
“Hi!” She says excitingly, “Are you ready for the night of your life?”
You smile at her, “Sure”.
Sarah steps to the side to let you in the house, and you wait for her to start walking towards her room so you can follow her.
As you pass the kitchen doorway, you can’t help but look inside. You’re used to looking in and seeing Rose doing something, but this time, it isn’t Rose. It’s Rafe.
Air gets caught in your throat and you look away as quickly as you can. Rafe stays on his phone innocently, not even acknowledging who just came into his house.
Should you say something to Sarah? Does she not know that he’s in the house too?
You and Sarah get to her room rather quickly and she closes the door right behind you two as you walk in.
She’s quick to lay in her bed and open the covers for you, and you can’t help but grin at her as she opens one bag of chips right away.
“You ready?” She asks before pressing the play and you nod, “Let’s go”
Sarah presses the play and the sound of the universal studios entrance fills the silent room. You bring the covers closer to you and Sarah hands you the bag of chips just so you can take some of them.
And...
Not even halfway through the movie, Sarah highly regrets watching the movie while laying down because she’s out like a light.
You stare at the TV in silence, grinning slightly at Sarah’s slight snores as the main characters talk about their feelings in the TV.
But your mind is occupied with something else. You’re not paying much attention to the movie anymore. The plot stopped being of your interested when you noticed that Sarah had chosen the movie purely because of the cast.
Understandable, we’ve all done it. But romance movies are not a good choice when you’re trying to forget your failed relationship.
Already tired with your thoughts, you stand on your feet, away from the bed and drag yourself out of the bedroom.
Rafe must be in his party, now, since that was what Sarah said when you questioned his presence in the kitchen.
You walk down the stairs of the empty and silent house and drag your warm feet over the cold ground towards the kitchen.
As you grab a cup from the shelf above you, you almost groan at all the memories that hit you at once.
All the times that you and Rafe made breakfast on his days off classes, eating cheap fluffy pancakes until you felt sick with just the idea of drinking water. Or when you helped him through a big hangover after a big party.
The second memory hits you like a tone of bricks. 
Those mornings and the nights before, after the parties, were the reason of your breakup. You couldn’t stand to see Rafe kill himself with all the alcohol almost every night and the various drugs that his friends could get a hold of each month.
You walk towards the fridge, chest heavy with heartbreak, and fill your cup with cold water. The feeling of the freezing temperature over your fingertips wakes you up back to reality.
You hear steps in the hallway, right outside of the kitchen, and you don’t think much of it as it might be Sarah.
The door swings open and your eyes widen slightly at the sight of Rafe. His hair a complete mess, his eyes hold a sleepless look, and his clothes are slightly scrunched up. He looks like he’s had a rough night.
You don’t say anything, looking away as he looks at you. He clears his throat as if to fill the silence in the air and walks towards the shelf, grabbing a glass cup. 
He didn’t know you were the one sleeping over.
He doesn’t look at you or says anything. 
You can’t help but think in all this silence how much you want to run home, right now. You love Sarah but you can’t stay here any longer.
Your feet don’t move from under you and you’re left to stare at the floor as Rafe fills his cup with water as well. 
Both of you silent, fearing to break the peaceful absence of sound as your minds fill with all the good memories and the possible beginnings of conversation.
You finish your water and walk towards the sink to leave the cup beside it. Rafe’s eyes stay on you as you do it, but you don’t care to look up before walking out of the kitchen.
“Shit” Rafe whispers to himself as he hears your footsteps getting further away from the doorway.
You walk in the living room, not wanting to go back to bed, and make your way towards the glass sliding doors that lead to the porch.
The warm air of the last summer night hits you and you walk out, leaving the door slightly open. You walk towards the railing of the porch and lean against it, watching the calm waters under the dim lighting coming from the house.
You sigh as you rest your cheek over your fist and close your eyes to try and concentrate on your breathing other than your feelings.
The door behind you slides slightly but you don’t care to look back to see who it is. But that is until, it slides closed and someone stands right beside you.
“I wanted to talk to you” Rafe says.
You take a quick look at him before staring away into the grass of the garden right in front of you.
“About?” You ask in a whisper as he doesn’t say anything else.
“I don’t know” He answers with a shrug and you frown in confusion, “I just wanted to talk to you”
He really likes making everything worse for you, uh?
“We’re not supposed to be in talking terms,” You answer, “Not after our last conversation”
“I know”
You look down at your hands and play with your fingers as a way to fight out your emotions.
“I’ve- Uhm...” Rafe starts but pauses. You look up at him and see him scratching the back of his neck while staring at the ground.
“You’ve what?” You encourage.
“I’ve been clean for a week” He admits and looks down at you.
You look away and do a very small smile, rather fake, while staring at the grass once again.
“Hope it lasts” You say before biting your cheek.
“Me too”
Silence, again.
“I’m... I’m sorry for not listening to you before. About the addiction, I mean.”
You don’t say anything.
“You were right, and I was too stupid to not want to listen to you” He continues, “I’m sorry”
You look up to find him still staring. His gaze softens at the sight of you finally looking back and you give him a slight grin.
“You don’t need to say sorry. I’m sure it’s not something easy to swallow, to hear someone say that you’re addicted to something”
Rafe observes your expression twitch slightly at the mention of his addiction and his chest tightens at your saddened gaze as you sigh.
“I did it to myself” He admits with a shrug, “Just didn’t expect these many consequences to come from it”
“Like?”
The look he gives you is a good enough answer. You look away with that and he tenses up next to you.
He just screwed everything up, didn’t he?
“It happens, Rafe” You whisper, “At least it was able to motivate you into changing”
“Yeah... It was” He agrees, “I just- you know, feel like this could’ve been done in other ways”
“Of course, it could’ve” You answer bringing your shoulder up as if you’re shrugging, “This is just where our argument took us”
Rafe can’t help but disagree. It wasn’t the ‘argument’s fault’, it’s his. His words. His sick and disgustingly affected by whatever he took, words.
“Will you ever forgive me?” He blurs out, catching both you and himself by surprise.
“Forgive you?” You ask confused, “I’m not even mad at you”
“You’re not?”
“No” You say with a frown, shaking your head slightly, “I’m mad at myself more than I am at you. I could’ve helped you before you became addicted, and I-”
“You know it isn’t your fault that I’m the fuck-up that I am, right?” He asks you and you glare at him.
“Don’t call yourself that” You say, “We’ve been over this, Rafe.”
“It’s true” He says with a slightly annoyed tone, “I fuck up everything, I’m just-”
“Shut up”
He falls silent, not wanting to ruin anything further.
“You’re not a fuck up” You say, annoyed that he could even think that, “Don’t let your mistakes fucking define you, Rafe. We’ve talked about this. You’ve fucked up, yes. But who hasn’t?” You pause so that the words can sink in, “Sarah has fucked up, I’ve fucked up. Your own dad has fucked up before... I didn’t break up with you because of your mistakes”
He looks at you confused.
“I’ve broken up with you because I couldn’t bear to see you kill yourself any further while everyone fucking stared and did a whole bunch of nothing” Tears swell up in your arms, “And that maybe, just maybe, you could’ve taken your mind off your drugs to just think about what you can lose with them”
You sniffle and look away, not wanting him to see you cry.
“It was my selfish way to make you wake up, want to try and get help-” You say with your voice shaking, but he interrupts you.
“Hey” He says, “It wasn’t selfish”
“I-”
“No, you’re going to hear me, now” He interrupts, “How can you say that what you did was selfish when you were trying to help me? That makes no sense! I’m not getting help yet, but if that’s what you want me to do, I’ll call my dad right fucking now and I’ll go to a clinic tomorrow”
“Rafe” You start, turning back to look at him.
“I know I’m supposed to do this for myself and not anyone else, but fuck. I’ve been dating you for years. I love you more than I’ll ever love myself. I can’t lose you. Not over something that I did”
A sob escapes your mouth and you cover it with your hand. Rafe, with that, pulls you to his chest and wraps his arms around you.
“Just please, give me another chance” He whispers into your hair, “This time, I’ll get all the help I need. I won’t ever push you away, or put anything before me and you”
You wrap your arms tightly around his torso and sniffle into his chest.
“Okay” You whisper, “But you have to promise me that you’ll get the help as soon as possible”
You look up at him, still hugging him, and he looks down at you.
“I promise”
A faint smiles is drawn over your lips and Rafe presses a kiss onto your wet cheek, pulling you back into the tight hug.
“I’ll call my dad tomorrow” He whispers.
“And I’ll be there with you” You whisper back.
- - - - - - -
I honestly almost cried while correcting this. Am I the only one?
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imagine-lovebug · 5 years
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Hi!! x can I please have a Tom Holland imagine where reader is dating Tom and gets really left out bc he's filming and Harrison hangs with her a lot and he starts to gain feelings for reader?
Tom completely understood why Harrison wanted to take a break from being his assistant after Endgame and Chaos Walking. Harrison’s career was picking up; he was modelling more and getting a few small roles, trying to branch out into the acting world. Tom was proud of his best friend… but, if he was being honest, he was a little jealous too. 
Harrison, although off doing his own thing, had a lot more free time than Tom that he usually spent at Tom’s and his shared apartment. The same apartment where you, Tom’s girlfriend, were living. Tom would frequently wake up, alone, in his trailer to notifications that Harrison or you had posted on your stories: pictures of the two of you out to brunch, having movie nights, making pancakes for breakfast. Sam, Tom’s brother, even live-streamed while out and about in a nightclub in central London and, in the background, he could see you and Haz dancing together slightly too close for his liking. 
Tom felt bad for being jealous because he knew that, at the end of the day, you’d still facetime with him before going to bed, or send him a text message saying ‘goodnight, Tommy. I love you.’ He felt terrible for his worrying and jealousy because he knew that meant that he didn’t trust you or your loyalty to him enough. He just missed you too much, and couldn’t wait to be home. He wanted to see you again, but a little bit of him also wanted to make sure he was the one to sit across from you at the brunch table; he wanted his arm to wrap around your waist as you make pancakes and while watching movies.
Back in Kingston, you were missing Tom. Having Harrison there with you was fun but, obviously, it wasn’t the same as having your boyfriend with you. Haz seemed to be trying his best to distract you from Tom’s absence: he’d take you to nightclubs or bars for a drink and a dance, he’d invite you out for lunch or dinner, he’d wake you up to the smell of bacon and pancakes in the morning, and cuddle you on the sofa when you felt particularly lonely. It was great fun, but it was slowly turning into something more.
Harrison cuddled up to you on the sofa. His arm rested around your shoulders, your head pressed in the crook of his neck, his head gently resting atop yours. You were paying attention to the movie; Harrison tried to, but couldn’t. He could feel your breath dancing along his collarbone, the tickling of your hair against his skin, and wanted to kiss you. He knew it was wrong, you were his best mate’s girl, but he couldn’t help how he felt. 
You picked your head up from his shoulder and looked at him, the movie on the screen a flickering highlight in your eyes. “Y’alright, Haz? You seem… off.”
He allowed his eyes to dance along the soft edges of your face, from your hairline down your nose, past your gorgeous eyes to your inviting, slightly open lips. 
“Yeah,” he whispered, a lot more pathetically than he expected to as the word got stuck in his throat. 
“Are you bored? Should we change the movie?” you questioned.
He forgot to respond.
“Haz?” You pressed a hand to his forehead to feel if he was warm. Maybe he was sick? But no, his forehead was a fine temperature, so you pushed your hand through his hair before letting it rest on your lap once again. “I’ll go get you some water. Maybe you should stop with the beer tonight.” You stood, going to grab his beer bottle and go to the kitchen, but his hand flew out and gently grasped your arm pulling you back down, and somehow even further into him. His face was centimetres away from yours and he glanced down at your lips before pressing your foreheads together.
You pulled away. 
“Harrison,” you said breathily, “You can’t do that.” There was a pause. “I, um, I’m going to go to bed now. I’ve got to call Tom.”
You picked up the few beer bottles scattered around the coffee table and retreated to the kitchen. He stood and followed you, finding you by the sink. He placed his hands either side of you on the counter, making you jump and turn around. 
“Harrison, please,” you muttered.
“(Y/N), just… let’s try it, y’know? Tom’s not around, he’ll never know.” He felt guilt already climbing up his spine. You loved Tom. You’re Tom’s, and he knew that. Harrison was already your best friend, but he was selfish and wanted more. He pressed his forehead to yours once again. “One kiss won’t hurt.”
He only pulled away when he saw a tear fall from your glassy eyes. His hands left the counter but you didn’t move. More tears began to fall and that guilt that was crawling up his spine suddenly consumed his entire body. “Wait, (Y/N/N), I’m so sorry,” he whispered, “God, I’m so sorry darling. I don’t know what I’m doing.” He stepped away from you and ran his hands through his hair, disheveling it. 
Then, you spoke. “Do you like me, Harrison?”
He didn’t want to say yes, even if it was true. Answering you would make it real; answering you would make him a bad friend… if he wasn’t one already. Instead, filled with shame, he nodded his head once before covering his face with his hands.
You didn’t know what to do. You loved Tom. Sure, you’d felt a twinge or something more than just friendship for Harrison, but you’d never followed it. You loved Tom. Tom was perfect for you. He was your everything, and you were the same for him. You stepped forward and wrapped your arms around Harrison’s waist, shoving your tear-smudged face into his chest. You gripped the back of his t-shirt in your fists and pressed yourself as far into him as possible.
“You’re my best friend, Haz,” you mumbled into his torso. He couldn’t speak. His throat was completely dry like he had swallowed sand. He just pulled his hands from his face and wrapped one arm around your shoulders while he threaded his other hand through your silky hair, further pressing you into his chest.
Two days after your moment with Harrison, Tom walked through the front door to the apartment with his suitcase in hand. Haz and you were sitting on the couch far apart, but your feet still rested in his lap. You shot up from the couch and launched yourself into Tom’s arms, legs wrapping around his waist as you buried your head in his neck. 
“I missed you, I missed you, I missed you,” you repeatedly mumbled into his skin, pressing little kisses onto his collarbone. He chuckled, holding you up by your thighs keeping you as close as physically possible. That worry and doubt he had back on set dissipated. The thought that he was an idiot passed through his head; of course, he could trust you. Eventually, he let your legs drop and you clambered down from your boyfriend, still holding him close. He put his pointer finger beneath your chin and lifted your head to lay a sweet, gentle kiss to your lips. “I missed you, too, Love. So fucking much.”
Harrison gazed longingly at the couple from the couch, trying his best not to interfere in their loving reunion. He knew it was wrong to still look at you the way he did, but he promised himself it was fine if he looked, as long as he didn’t try anything with you again. So he watched you two, from his spot on the couch, and wished it was him in Tom’s place.
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glowstickhaloboy · 5 years
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i’ve committed to my format with raphael!crowley and i’ll die with it, too. AND IM SORRY ITS SO LONG.
(also the show uses he/him pronouns for michael, i believe, and i’ve chosen to do so as well bc i think its neat)
((ALSO, if you have no idea what the context is for this post, its a semi-continuation of this series))
sometimes, there is a gap. gabriel will turn to express a half-thought, and find himself wondering who he meant to speak with. there’s no one there.
three facts have remained for six thousand years: the first maintains that a brother is a brother. the second that a traitor is a traitor. and the third fact concludes that only one of those things may become the other. there is no place for traitors in heaven. and there is no merit in dwelling on thoughts of what is no longer possible.
gabriel likes efficiency--advancements that break no mould. he is the safest bet in any given room. protocol and principles, that’s what he’s made of, and he sticks to them rigidly because it’s... easy. easy as a miracle from the human’s point of view. to break ranks is to break through the mission statement of heaven into a gray area, and the walls upstairs are always freshly painted white. gabriel makes sure of it.
michael likes results. there is nothing more beautiful than a bottom line. bottom line: the world ends. bottom line: the angels win. bottom line: god no longer does the heavy lifting the way angels do, and so what the angel’s do in god’s absence is not to be held against them. they were, after all, stepping into a job they were not qualified to handle with little to no notice. a bottom line is beautiful because it makes simple a messy world.
bottom line: there is mess. bottom line: angels remove the mess.
bottom line: raphael would have complicated that.
no, michael does not miss his fallen sibling. and he refuses to talk about it. and he makes sure that gabriel does not talk about it, either. after all, what is there to talk about? what’s done is done, and they’ve got their hands full juggling someone else’s job, but if they don’t do it, then it isn’t done, and the world ends the bad way. where no one wins because they’re all dead.
gabriel is the leader. michael is the strategist. between them, they can scrounge enough brain power together to cover for raphael, who was meant to be the creative one.
too creative. creative enough to start... asking questions.
too feeling, always too feeling. “passionate” they used to call him. but then what happened, happened, and “passionate” became a roadside cliff in need of a guard rail. michael and gabriel were that guard rail. their fallen sibling was a cautionary tale.
the thing about falling is that sometimes you see it coming, and sometimes it blindsides you. lucifer’s was not a slippery slope, but a gradual and palpable decline. for years before, whenever he’d walk out of a room, the angels left inside would put their heads together and mutter about what’s the almighty going to do about that one. raphael’s, on the other hand, was blink-and-you-miss-it. he was here one day, gone the next. there wasn’t even the time to think about whether you wanted to say goodbye.
(if he decided to be a traitor, after all, then you needn’t regard him as a brother.)
and time went on. despite the shock, the world kept turning, and the stars kept burning, and nobody said raphael’s name. not for six thousand years.
it was hard to keep up with new demons. bad enough having to encourage every baby-faced cherub day-to-day (but not too hard, otherwise they ran the risk of becoming “passionate.” passionate didn’t matter. just loyalty. loyalty keeps heaven heaven.) the first time gabriel hears the name “crowley” he thinks nothing of it.
“a demon?” he asks sandalphon. “check and see who’s available, sort of... low and on the same level. no need to exert the effort of someone actually important on a simple demon.”
sandalphon agrees easily and makes to depart, but gabriel sticks up a hand, thoughtful. hold on.
“aziraphale,” he says. “he’s on earth, isn’t he? have him take care of it. perfect busy work for someone so eager to please.”
sandalphon smiles gold.
meanwhile, michael? michael doesn’t even remember. deleted the name from his mind the second it first entered. unimportant. bottom line: demon.
but after the armageddon that never was, the name finally sticks. and no matter what michael might have said at that demon’s trial, there is nothing more dangerous than an unchecked enemy. he keeps an eye out. and for awhile, there’s nothing out of the ordinary. just a never-was-an-angel and a soon-to-be-demon spending too much time together on a planet that was never theirs.
bottom line: ?
so michael goes to gabriel for help.
“i need to understand what happened between these two,” he says. “make some sense of it. find out how dangerous they really are.”
and gabriel turns to the left, and frowns in thought, like he is surprised to find no one there.
“gabriel?”
“it’s nothing. just a passing... are you sure there is cause for concern? they’re two outcasts. nothing more. no threat to us.”
“i would like to... speak with them.”
“then speak we shall.”
they arrive on earth. it is easy to find aziraphale because he never left the bookshop.
“hold on,” gabriel cautions as they approach the door. the sign says closed. there’s an intimidation as hot as hellfire emanating from it.
“do not let them see your cowardice,” michael chides, and pushes through. bottom line: answers are needed.
the door creaks and cuts off two voices. and two figures appear.
“oh!” says crowley, glancing sideways at aziraphale. “look at that. the gang’s all here.”
aziraphale looks momentarily stunned, which only makes michael’s brain fight harder to understand. he pushes forward.
“crowley. aziraphale.”
aziraphale bristles. “i do believe the sign said closed.”
“we are not here to indulge your human fantasy. we have come to--”
“ask for the towel back?” crowley interrupts. “no good. it’s long gone. i’ll pay for another one. do you take updog currency?”
“what’s updog?” gabriel asks.
“nothing, but i do deserve a high five for that one.”
“not now, dear,” aziraphale whispers to him.
crowley squares his shoulders, glaring through the two archangels. “right, straight to business then. we don’t care why you came. leave now, and we might let you go alive.”
aziraphale begins to react in astonishment, but michael and gabriel beat him to it.
“you should not threaten angels so easily,” gabriel says.
“i’ll do what i want,” says crowley. “fair’s fair, right? i’m just dishing it out as good as i get. doing as you do.”
“crowley,” aziraphale protests.
“where do you get the nerve?” michael all but growls.
“oh, probably from my time in heaven.”
if anyone else in the room were the snake, there would have been hissing. “don’t invoke that holy place,” gabriel says.
“you lost the privilege,” says michael.
“geez!” crowley throws up his hands. “if i didn’t know any better, i’d say this was personal! come on, are we going to forget the past that easily?”
“you have no past.”
“you are forgotten.”
“you’d think we three grew up with me hogging the telly, eh?” crowley asks aziraphale, the same way a zookeeper teaching schoolchildren might ask an obvious question to a turtle.
and michael and gabriel are blindsided.
“oh.” crowley tilts his head. “you really didn’t know. funny, that. almost.”
“it can’t be,” says gabriel.
“impossible,” says michael.
“hello,” says crowley, twirling five fingers, and then settling on showing them just one.
“demon,” says michael.
“oh, yes!” says crowley.
“but also,” says gabriel.
“oh yes...” crowley finishes.
he’s scowling now. darker. his anger crackles into lightning on the street outside, and black wings unfurl like looming shadows. michael and gabriel stare at them as though trying to discern something underneath. an origin to the stain, or a clean patch.
michael blinks first. bottom line: demon. he says, “you will not expect any special treatment from us.”
crowley shakes his head. “i was never special.”
(it may be that gabriel flinches at that. too long ago. too hard to tell.)
aziraphale, certainly, makes a noise at the back of his throat, but crowley shakes his head the slightest amount. an indication to let him handle this.
“you just can’t quit betraying your side, can you?” michael asks. “what did you hope to achieve? you are an abomination. you were cast out for a reason. and you will never be allowed back in.”
gabriel double-takes, but still says nothing. he looks like a man found on the side of the road with no memory of how he got there. lost. confused. aged.
“i don’t want that,” crowley says. “i’m better than that, now.”
“better than heaven? blasphemy,” michael chides.
“demon,” crowley replies.
and gabriel can no longer keep silent.
“you let me speak with you at the human airbase,” he says, agitated, his purple eyes glowing slightly. is he needing to keep his emotions at bay? what could he possibly feel for crowley? surely they were no longer each other’s kin. “we looked each other in the eyes, raphael.”
“crowley,” crowley and michael correct him at the same time.
gabriel looks appropriate aghast at himself. “crowley,” he amends, and then continues, “this is--i mean, you were--you are--this is just evidence of how far one may fall.”
“funny, i was about to say the same to you.”
“you have no authority to judge us!” michael says, seething. “do not forget your place. if you are not an angel now, you never were. not at heart. not truly. give me one good reason not to smite you where you stand.”
aziraphale steps in front of crowley, chin raised high, and says immediately, “i won’t let you.”
“angel, pl--”
crowley puts a gentle hand on aziraphale’s shoulder, but even that, aziraphale shrugs off.
“gabriel,” he says. “perhaps you can understand this. crowley has changed, yes. he is no longer an angel.”
“he doesn’t feel love the way we do,” michael interjects, and crowley’s head pokes out from behind aziraphale.
“when’s the last time you had a warm, fuzzy feeling, then?”
“michael, i believe i must depart,” gabriel says softly. he still looks like he’s been stranded inside a life that he does not call his.
michael says, “yes, do.”
and gabriel disappears.
aziraphale sighs and steps back at crowley’s side, holding crowley’s wrist tightly. crowley takes the hand and squeezes back.
“guess some people just can’t take the heat,” aziraphale mutters.
crowley shrugs. “well, you know what they say. if you can’t take the heat, stay out of the boiling sulphur pools. maybe he did what’s right by him. maybe seeing me just scared him a little too badly.”
“angels fear nothing,” says michael, even as his eyes hint toward something different. his jaw works. he takes a moment to control himself and then asks, “is this how you were able to withstand the holy water?”
aziraphale quietly snorts. crowley squeezes his hand again, this time in warning, and says, “you didn’t really think i was going to answer that one, did you? and might i remind you that all i asked that day was to be left alone.”
“you may think you still belong in this world,” says michael, shaking his head and glaring at their conjoined hands, “but you do not. and aziraphale, one day you will pay dearly for your choices. fear the future. for when that day comes, you, too, will be erased from heaven. anditcan’tcometoosoon.”
the breath rushes out of him, and michael, too, is gone.
the bookshop stands sturdy and proud. crowley swings up his and aziraphale’s hands, kissing the back of aziraphale’s, and loudly declares, “well, that was dramatic. weren’t we going to go and look at a cottage this afternoon, love?”
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poisonedamaryllis · 5 years
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Good morning peach!! What's the gods and goddesses au about? *A* 😘👌❤🌹🌠
HELLO MARS!! I’ve finally gotten around to answering this! I took a lot of time because beside my legendary laziness and poor time management skills, I uhhh had no idea what this AU was truly about XD But now I do!
The idea stemmed a whiiiiiile ago, months ago I think, maybe more, when I had a dream where Hana was the goddess of death who could summon zombies. And like, that’s cool and all but Hana as the goddess of Death wouldn’t make much sense so when I started blogging about the gods and goddesses AU, I had conflicting representations of what she was in this AU and of what the plot would be. 
A quick look at what had inspired me helped me grasp better what I wanted from this AU! 
The story revolves around a sacred kingdom of gods who rule over the world. Everything in that world is attached to the authority of a good: life, death, birth, nature, time... The balance of the world is the hands of a few godly beings, and would one of them become rogue, that balance would be lost.
Or at least, that was what his family had told him.
Killua isn’t a god. Not yet, according to his family, at least. He is the heir of the Zoaldyeck family--the House of Chaos that gathers the gods at the source of every tempestuous crisis in the world. His father, Silva, the God of Chaos and Liars, has great expectations regarding Killua’s future reign over his House. He knows his son has infinite potential and outstanding power, but there is only one slight issue: he doesn’t know what Killua would be the god of.
Here is the thing: a lot of gods weren’t born as gods. Most of them were muses, some nymphs, some monsters, witches, fairies, and a handful were humans before they acquired the power to join the Garden of Divinities. 
At this point, Killua is just a muse. Muse of Destruction, his family calls him, a step behind his rightful place as the God of Destruction in the House of Chaos. Killua doesn’t think that suits him--he has too many dreams of the human world, daydreams of travels and bare feet in the grass, questions about all the things life has to offer to the living--and he doesn’t like the title, but his family knows better. Family always does.
Things change when the Goddess of Light goes missing.
Nightfall takes over--darkness is upon the world, and the sun dims into a pale shadow of itself. The Council of Gods is summoned to find a solution, with Silva at its head. They know they have to take heavy measures quickly and efficiently to find the goddess before it’s too late. 
Without light, there is no life.
Killua is the one tasked to find the goddess, a mission that is meant to affirm his place as a god and not just as a muse. 
It is his one chance to grow--and the world’s fate is in his hands. Yet all he can think about is that he will be wandering in the world of humans. Unmonitored. Without his brother’s constant scrutiny trained on him. 
Free.
During his journey to find the goddess, Killua meets rogue gods for the first time in his life. His father always spoke of them as though they were disgraces--the gods who had given up their rule in the kingdom to mingle with the humans--but Killua doesn’t see it that way. He was always curious of those legendary gods who had done what he could only dream of--even if it was unspeakable among his kind.
So when he meets Gon, the God of Nature, Family, and Fishermen, Leorio, God of Healing and Fortune, and Elias, the God of Time and Memories, Killua is torn. They alert him of the cunning and thirst for power that is breeding a new movement in the kingdom--a movement they fled--but they offer nonetheless to aid him in his quest to find the missing goddess, as it is not just the politics of the kingdom that is jeopardized by her absence but the balance of the whole world.
They find her, together, eventually. She was never in hiding, or missing--not really.
The real issue is that she has forgotten everything. The one thing she still remembers is her name.
Hana.
................
:DDD
OKAY LOOK... this is very sloppy because I have a feeling this could evolve into a story of its own because the political intrigue behind it is worth its own story XD 
Basically, Silva is the god of Chaos, and he’s baaaad because i can do that. he’s been abusing Killua since he was a kid to try and fit him into his mold because he thinks Killua has incredible power and potential to become a great god.
He’s right about that! Killua will become a god, but he certainly won’t be the god of destruction and that’s where Silva’s understanding of his son stops. 
Now, the intrigue behind it is that since Silva rules over the House of Chaos (the house of the Zoaldyecks divinities), he has a lot of power over the kingdom. His wife is the goddess of Madness, his first son became the god of Nothingness, and he is about sure his third son could be destruction incarnate! (milluki who??? silva doesnt him hekjhg). Now, the problem is that his decisions in the council are always countered by the other houses (House of Life, House of Arts, House of Justice, etc.). Silva doesn’t seek absolute power--he seeks the resilience of his opponents to make his decretes pass. 
Why? i dont know because he is persuaded he wants to stop those silly dreams from polluting his son’s head; and for that, he needs the power to change the world and so, to change his son--Killua. 
Yeah he’s worse than in the anime lol. 
So what’s the best thing for him to do if he wants the other Houses to give up to him? 
Well, he needs Chaos to be absolute. And for that, he wants absolute Darkness, and he wants the Goddess of Death to relinquish her power (that’s Duanphen, the goddess of death :D). With Death in his house and Light abolished, he could exercize his power over the world no matter what the other Houses think and thus destroy his son’s dreams and exert absolute control over him. 
Because, you know, that’s what’s best for him :))
SOOO since this is kinda very evil, Hana, the goddess of light, has word of the scheme and she decides to go rogue (like Gon and Elias) so that Silva can’t find her and force her to relinquish her power over light (because she doesn’t want absolute darkness you know). But Silva knows!! so there’s a fight blabla and since he’s more powerful he sows chaos in her mind and she forgets everything about who she is--including her rule over Light. She still manages to escape before he controls her, so YEAH there is darkness all over the world, but since he didn’t catch her, she can still have the chance to recover her memory and thwart his plans!!!
Hence why he sends Killua to find her. He is convinced this will make killua a ~~~truuue~~~ god of destruction and it will bring back the girl he wants to control so she can’t meddle with his plans.
Now here’s the thing: killua will befriend gon, leorio, and elias, and they’ll teach him that everything his father has been teaching him from birth is wrong!! then they find Hana, and she slowly recovers her memory and shares what she knows about the baaad evil plans. (and they fall in love obviously duh). It’s through her that Killua will learn he’s got nothing to do with destruction and that’s why he never managed to become a god--he’ll eventually accept his true nature and become the God of Curiosity and Rebels. With a dash of lightning bc i can.
Oh and ofc there are other ocs in there! Idk if they’ll be as prominent but Malzi is the god of Darkness and since Hana (goddess of light) is gone, he has WAY TOO MUCH WORK ON HIS HANDS because there’s way too much darkness to manage, which pisses him off, so he decides to investigate where the fuck she went because goddammit i didn’t sign to manage the entire world’s darkness and this is why we can’t trust young gods, these silly kids. And Arashi is the goddess of Enigmas and Riddles and she senses Silva has iffy intentions so she pairs up with Duanphen (goddess of death) to figure this out. 
And well, Natsu also looks for her daughter--goddess or not, Hana is still her baby. I think Natsu is the goddess of Protection.
ANYWAYY this is getting way too long XD I hope this answers roughly what this AU is about! It would deserve its own story to exist but it’s really fun to think about XD Hana as the goddess of light is so fitting and I love the idea of Killua slowly coming to terms with the fact that his family abused him and lied to him and well, him finding his own path and identity through meeting with people who understand him. 
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shoushatohaisha · 6 years
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review: hajimari no kyojin (osaka 6/1)
so. hello. i usually write up my butai thoughts as, um, 100+ tweet threads in the immediate wake of whatever i just saw, but this time around i thought i'd work them out into a proper report, of a sort. if you, too, have seen this show already and want to talk about it... please. any time. always.
about reviewing: this is my very favorite 2.5D franchise, ever. but this is also a review, not a cheerleading exercise, so not every single thing i have to say is unrelentingly positive. having said that, i respect kinoshita, wada, suga-zachou, and the staff at large more than just about any creative team in this corner of japanese theater fandom so like. i'm not here to drag, lol.
about spoilers: i talk about the plot elements covered but try to avoid spoiling any of the fun production surprises. :) happy to do a more spoilery play-by-play later if folks are curious.
about length: i just checked and it's 2400 words im so sorry.
without further ado...
first of all, i admit that based on the preview clips i doubted, and i was swiftly taken to task for doubting. IM SORRY WORRY-SAN i trust u implicitly and i should have known better. after the major changes in shinka no natsu, i was concerned that bringing back the revolving stage and the original opening theme would feel stale/regressive. it did not. while they did bring back the revolving element they also extended the stage backward and added a second level behind a full stage height projection screen – the second level was used to do some neat staging for flashbacks/parallels and the screen was used to, how shall we say this, up their projection game in a major way, which i frankly did not think was possible. i will not spoil the details but it was pretty great, on a purely technical level.
i also realized that a lot of the repetition – opening with the bike scene, bringing back the original opening credits music, the staging, etc – is the "look back" over the last couple years that i'd expected to come this fall. they are very obviously already preparing for the end – you could think of this as part one of their last show, with the fall as part two. the show opens with a restaging of sixth grader hinata seeing the little giant on tv for the first time – then the current karasuno team take the place of the tv and hinata joins them for a team jog. "karasuno, fight!" "oh!" "fight!" "oh!" only then each character calls out their signature line from the show so far. "uchi no renchuu wa chanto tsuyoi" / "mou tobenai karasu nante yobasenai" / "murabito b mo tatakaemasu!"
and haha. let me tell you. BOY, DID I FEEL THINGS. a lot of things. i think yachi got me the worst but they were all real bad. (i have so many feelings about yachi's story and what a beautiful job saitou ami did with her character on stage. god. ;_;)
the theme of this play was the role of captain – what makes a good captain, what a captain does for the team, and how to step into those shoes when the captain is gone. the johzenji match is fun, but here, in a sense, it exists more or less to set up the wakutani match – (re)establishing daichi's importance so that his absence feels like the gut punch it is. and fully settling the weight of that responsibility on ennoshita's shoulders, as both daichi's substitute on the court and the captain-in-waiting.
with that in mind, the rival schools: imo it wasn't strictly necessary to cast full teams for each school – each match got its own dedicated act, and unlike, for example, nekoma/datekou in karasuno fukkatsu (which had a similar story structure), there aren't really any individual characters on these rival schools who have a role as such other than terushima and takeru. (you know, the captains. see above. XD) so in theory one could get this done with, like, one actor for each captain and then an ensemble cast playing the rest of the team across both matches. HOWEVER, having all those bodies allows them to do super cool stuff visually, and why force yourself to create the illusion of a full team if you don't have to? i.e., /i/ sure am not complaining, isn't it nice to have $$$ to achieve the max vision of your choreographer. XD
i also have no doubt that the kids playing these other characters are doing whatever they can to create a character within the ensemble, and i suspect there's plenty for repeat viewers to pick up on, esp during say the johzenji match (see below). however for the first time viewer following the main flow of the story it's more or less a very large ensemble cast.
the johzenji chaos was well expressed, haha, there was so damn much going on all the time that i hardly knew where to look. (i've also seen opinions on j-twitter that that diluted the impact and i can see that too – it worked for me as a "funny" match that didn't cross the line into comic relief, but ymmv.) i thought the final scene with misaki would pack more of a punch, but i fully expect them to cry at daisenshuuraku so that might fill in the last 10% that's missing rn.
wakutani are another Good Dance Team. one did get a sense, stylistically, of fukurodani- and nekoma-lite with johzenji and wakunan, respectively – i assume that was intentional. mirroring the cats vs owls match, as it were. yanagihara rin's takeru was like… scary?? i had to rewatch those episodes this weekend to see if i'd just forgotten something, but no, stage takeru is not so much reliable middle brother as scowly quiet tough guy. he looked like a kyoutani tbh, and looking at the kid actually cast for kyoutani, one wonders if someone in casting mixed up some paperwork or something. having said that, yanagihara was great at being the character he was, i enjoyed what he did on stage. i'm just not sure that character was takeru. XD (edit: ok having just rewatched, i have to revise this somewhat, i think a big part of my impression was due to being too far back to properly see his expressions the first time around -- up close he was much smilier, and bc i was thinking about it i noticed some nice details like him going over for a family hug afterward.) otoh big post-match scene – all of wakutani, actually – was really good. v effective, i heard sniffles around me.
during this match, johzenji reappeared dressed as takeru's family: FUCKING HILARIOUS omg, everyone involved has clearly learned how to do this right wrt blocking, the very fine line between comic relief and intrusion, etc, after the, er, shaky shousha to haisha experiment of kuroken doubling as oikawa's fangirls. seichou shita na, errone.
also, some great wire work for hinata and takeru – you could tell kenta is really comfortable up there these days. the first time the wires came into play one of the women behind me went "UWO!" which, when a japanese theatergoer makes a noise out loud, that's a true sign something's impressive. XD
nekoma vs fukurodani: Yeah, That Happened. it is a testament to how well done karasuno vs wakunan was that i didn't just spend the entire time screeching BRING BACK CATS VS OWLS because fjkdajfkdlsfjd KYAA. another good staging moment – they used mirrors to create the effect of two full teams playing at a crowded gymnasium, it was brill. i won't spoil some of the fun details but vvjakdlfjdf. and tbh i think the best performance of the four was probably shouri's?? not that this is news but istg idk how someone so soft offstage does THAT on stage. is it this "acting" thing you speak of.
new bokuaka: i mean it was clear some of this material was meant for yoshimoto kouki and i did kinda miss him – i appreciate higashi-san's pinch hitting and he did a solid job. but. ah well. HAVING SAID THAT. fucking "michi wo tsukurimasu yo" i mean we should all be grateful it wasn't kouki and yuuki or it would have just been a fucking fanfic on stage. it was still bad and i don't even go here. XD
and last but not least, arita ushiwaka kenji: not exactly the world's most natural line delivery but that's fine because, i mean, he's ushiwaka. and his physical presence was perfect. which was about all he was called on to do in this particular show, ahaha.
now, for karasuno. and specifically, for my son, kawahara kazuma. remember what i said approximately a thousand words ago, about captains and captains in waiting and stepping up to the plate? (or onto the court, as it were.) ennoshita's story was the heart of the wakutani match and kazuma carried the second act. he was. so. good. he had good material to work with, of course, but he made it even better. i was saying to a friend that in retrospect i think this is one of the very very few parts of the series that actually played better and more emotionally affecting on stage than in the source material (as opposed to differently good/differently affecting). in the manga/anime, you can only see what the paneling or the frame shows you, and those initial paneling/framing choices are focused on the drama of CAPTAIN DOWN. but on the stage, daichi goes down… and off to the side you see ennoshita freeze. and from that moment on, for kazuma, it's go time. he doesn't let up until the end of post-match scene in (here) the locker room – which, jesus, that scene. it packs ten times the punch it does in the anime. because of kazuma.
sorry if i sound like a crazy person here ahaha. but like. like, imagine you have been acting since childhood, you've studied dance with famous choreographers and innovators, you had a main role in The Franchise That Changed 2.5D as a teenager, you've done a solo album, you have a serious history in performing arts... and you get cast in what was initially the smallest role of the entire karasuno team. and you take it! and pull your weight! kazuma was a team player for three years and he deserved this chance to let his actual skills shine so much. ;_; because i don't necessarily think he would have been better in any of the other roles than his actual teammates – but i do think he is a much better actor than several of his actual teammates. and he finally got the opportunity to show that.
anyway, when it came time for curtain calls, the applause swelled noticeably for kazuma – a louder ovation than anyone except kagechan and kenta. and one of those people clapping her hands off, say in row 20, just a random row choice, was definitely tearing up at the same time.
IN OTHER KARASANEWS. kt-san. LIVE IN PERSON KT-SAN BACK IN THE ROLE HE WAS MEANT FOR cries into my hands i love him daichi-saaaaaaaaaan. very occasionally his delivery reminded me he's a model not an actor, if you know what i mean, but like, for the vast part it didn't matter because he is naturally such a perfect fit. have i mentioned i love him.
new suga: mmmmm. he looked and moved fine but his line delivery did not convince me. tbf it's not like suga has a huge role to play in these matches so 1) it's not a huge deal 2) he didn't get much chance to get into the character. either he'll get better or he won't, and if he doesn't it's not going to sink the next play or anything. he seems like a nice enough kid, i wish him well!
kageyama tatsuya: still can't yell and enunciate at the same time. loved that they brought back the archer analogy from shinka no natsu though!! it was one of my favorite things about his kageyama, and it's nice that it's something he "owns" instead of imitating/inheriting from tatsunari.
tsukishima & yamaguchi: miura kairi continues to get even better, i'm so pleased. <3 also, i love love love that they still use the musical motif from shousha to haisha for yamaguchi's jump float serve. it was the same in shinka no natsu, it's the same here. THE TSUKKIYAMA WAS REAL CUTE, great detail work before and after the serve as well as after tsukki's block(s). as for tsukishima, much as they brought back kageyama's archer imagery, they brought back tsukki's fancy katana kill block. (they didn't waste kondou shouri, either, i'll leave it at that.)
last but not least, MY ACTUAL SON AND FEELINGS TWIN, SUGA KENTA: ok like. to set the scene here. i have mad respect for this kid and also love him to death as a human. i think he puts more thought into this production than anyone else in the cast – he is practically worry-san's AD. and he clearly has a lot of real deep thoughts and feelings about the source material. so deep in fact that it took a while for me to come around to his hinata because while, for example, tatsunari's kageyama could have walked straight off my television screen, kenta went down to the manga and built hinata up from there. he didn't have a choice – he's nothing like murase ayumu's voice. all too often we, and i include myself here, think of the two dimensions in 2.5D as anime, rather than manga... but just as there's a big gap between the two dimensions of animation and the three dimensions of live theater, there's as big a gap again between static black-and-white drawing, and movement and color and sound. and when i looked at kenta's hinata as something created solely from furudate's art style, it all slotted into place for me. (naturally, ymmv.)
it also took kenta longer than some of the others, i think, to portray all of what he wanted to. shoen hinata was pretty yelly, and pretty single-register yelly. hinata is a yelly character, of course, but the balance between that hinata and Serious Match Hinata was out of whack at first. this got better and better with every show. and then—
his encounter with ushiwaka here. was IT. it was what i was looking for all this time. his delivery of hinata's big line there was like – i think maybe i clapped my hands over my mouth, unclear, bc it was like the final missing piece and i was so happy. kentaaaaa. ;____;
part of me wonders if this is what kenta's always had in his head but maybe couldn't get his face/voice to express the way he wanted it? OR, IT'S KENTA, SO MAYBE IT WAS ON PURPOSE and his previous Serious Hinata was meant to be like, just a feral hunger child whereas this is the kid who experienced the heartbreak of losing to seijou. i would love to ask him tbh. XD
anyway, my son, after five plays continues to grow in his portrayal of this character. kenta is the heart of gekidan haikyuu in so many ways, and i will be at their graduation show if it kills me.
(breathes out) i think that's. everything. a best setter award to anyone who read this far, and feel free to ask if there's anything specific you want to know about? i will be seeing it again this weekend for daisenshuuraku and will be sure to report back on who cried, etc. all hail volleyball stage the end. 🏐
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