#because our manager is honestly amazing and so understanding and kind like it’s not like she isn’t being fair | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

There are dozens of funny blogs to kill time on Tumblr.

#because our manager is honestly amazing and so understanding and kind like it’s not like she isn’t being fair

dduane · 4 months

Text

From the Writing Advice dep't: A complicated ask, a serial answer (part 1)

Every now and then I get an ask in the box that's complex enough that it has to be taken apart and answered in pieces. Also, sometimes I get queries in that are painful enough (in varying ways) that I elect not to attribute them when answering. This one is both.

I read the ask (and reread it, and rereread it, four or five or six times after it came in, and a bunch more times while I was on my back this week being sick), and gradually came to realize that for it to be properly handled I had no choice but to break it into pieces for best management.

There are three main strands to the issues this ask brings up: motivation, growth as a writer, and coping with or succeeding despite the current state of the publishing industry.

So let's dig in. Here's the first part of the ask:

I know there's no One True Path, but I'm struggling with this, and I'm sure others are too, so I'll just ask it. I want to make a career out of writing, but with shrinking attention spans and so much content to mindlessly consume, how do you keep the motivation to write? My friends get mad at me for getting discouraged when not even they read my writing. They get mad and say, "write for yourself, not for the validation!"

Welp. (sigh)

First of all, I think your friends are absolutely right. But we'll come back to that.

You have to understand that as far as the Search for Motivation goes, I'm probably Spiders DD, the outlier who seriously should not have been counted. I have been motivated to write stuff pretty much nonstop since I was eight, and did my first novel in crayon in a school notebook. (It was one of the thick notebooks. The ones with the black and white marbled covers. Most of you who come of US schools know the kind.)

So I'm really the wrong person to be asking about this, especially since it's now nearly the Year of our (Wood!) Dragon 4722, which would make me nearly, uh, six Years of the Dragon old. And being of such age, and a career midlist genre writer, I have the same source of motivation as the vast majority of my similarly-aged colleagues: the need to write or starve. (There's an Irish saying perfectly descriptive of my situation: "Too old to dig ditches and too scared to rob banks." That's my situation exactly. There's nothing left for me to do but to write.) :)

...Anyway, it's kind of amazing how that kind of motivation'll focus your intention, and help you keep it in place, once you're been working with it for a while.

At the beginning of a career, though, things can look a lot different as you start getting a handle on exactly what it is you like to write and why you like writing it. And having another job to keep you afloat while you find your way is seriously a very good idea if you can manage it.

It sounds very much to me as if you're still in the early "finding your way" stages. This is a place that a lot of writers pass through, so don't be concerned. It's rare for sudden perfect motivation-to-write to crystallize out of nothing. And never forget, the word itself is based on old Latin roots for movement, and provokes the question, "Yeah, okay, but which way?" Movement without intended direction tends to turn into a lot of unfocused flailing, which looks good on Kermit, but not so much on the rest of us.

(inserting a cut here, because honestly, this is gonna go on a bit)

So you need to sit down and start asking questions—and answering them—so you can draw some kind of map. "I want to make a career out of writing"? Fine. What kind of writing? Fiction? Nonfiction? If fiction, what kind? What do you like to read? Why? Is that something you'd like to write? Why? Why not? If there's something else you'd rather be writing—what else? And why?

The more you ask the questions and answer them—"Keep asking the next question," Ted Sturgeon never used to stop saying—and the further along your investigations get, the more likely you are (as you get close to the answers that matter) to start getting the itch to write something, something in particular. This process may take a while, and the itch may take a good while to manifest. Don't be alarmed by that. The old saying is that the fire from Heaven won't descend until you've built the altar for it. And it may take a while piling the rocks up into the right shape. Don't hurry. If this is something you intend to spend a lifetime on, make sure the foundations are sound. The time taken will be worth it.

And BTW, do you intend that kind of length of commitment? If you're not sure, that's fine. But there's no one else to ask at this point who can give you meaningful answers. This is the time to get into it. Work out what "having a career in writing" looks like for you. Then start investigating to see whether your conception has any foundation in reality as a kind of lifestyle you actually have decent odds on achieving. (Again, I'm an outlier here. I'd been writing for pleasure for a long time before I had the good fortune to befriend an actual career writer, examine his habits [and those of other writers in the LA area] at close range, and realize that this line-of-work choice was actually something that could be successfully pulled off by mere mortals.) After investigation, this is a call that only you can make.

But anyway. Once you've started experiencing the kind of motivation that comes of increased certainty about what you want to do and why, you'll find you're way less concerned about sourcing or supporting it externally. It tends to fuel itself. (As once it does descend, the fire from Heaven is tenacious stuff: more Greek than otherwise.)

But also: trying to designate outsourced exterior stimulants for motivation is a bad idea. The reason's simple: one day you'll need them and they won't be there. Conditions will have changed, or the outside-of-you sources into the hands of which you've resigned your motivational agency may not be available for one reason or another, temporarily or permanently... and then where are you? The concept's a nonstarter. If your motivation's acting up, you need to be looking inward, not outward, for ways to kickstart it. This is one of the most personal parts of the writing process. You need to own it.

(And yeah, even career writers' motivation slips sometimes: annoying career things happen, cyclic lows cut in at a bad time, you name it. Most of us work out ways to jar the motivation back into correct operation when it acts up. But for such corrections to work you must first know what it's like to generate or mine yours yourself... and you're still working on that. The methods you find to generate motivation toward doing the Work will also assist you in diagnosing it when it goes south, and putting it right again.)

Also: (sighing) Please let your friends off the hook as regards reading your material, and feedback. Your motivation to write should not be dependent on their feedback, and it's not a good idea to try to make friends feel responsible for keeping you on the creative track. Chief among reasons for this: they may not feel themselves up to the task of giving you the writing support you're apparently asking them for—possibly because they simply don't feel competent to. (This is where we could get into how I had to stop @petermorwood from rewriting his third novel for the third time due to conflicting notes from friends... but let's leave that for later.) At best you're possibly making your friends deeply uncomfortable. At worst, the pressure may damage the friendships.

Tl:dr; our friends may love us dearly, but that doesn't make them competent editors. If you're online, so are many writers' groups who'll welcome a new member who needs advice. Wait till you've got more data and clarity on your motivational issues, and then start shopping around for assistance that seems friendly and trustworthy.

And finally (for the moment), about other people's attention spans:

It'd be good if you can start training yourself away from the habit of worrying about those. For one thing, there's absolutely nothing you can do about them. You might as well worry about the 11-year sunspot cycle. The attention-span issue is just one more distraction from things you should usefully be thinking about. But also: A lot of what we hear about that situation strikes me as fearmongering (as, IIRC, it was supposed to cause the downfall of western civilization around the time I started writing for Scooby-Doo).

If you look around, you'll see that loads of people are willing to spend HUGE amounts of their attention on stuff they love. (I mean, have you been on AO3 lately? And we're just talking about free stuff, there. Lots of other people will do the same for traditionally published work, given the chance and the money.) Your job is to get on with writing, start putting what you're doing out there where people will have a chance to fall in love with it, and then deal with the consequences.

More of this next time. (And please bear with me, as I'm still not up to best operating speed after the last week's illness. I'll get to everything else you sent me, I promise.)

HTH!

#writing advice #masked ask #is that a term?#it is now #motivation in writing #motivational issues

263 notes · View notes

animeyanderelover · 2 months

Note

Hi here’s my second request, love to see what you come up with if poly yandere Gajeel and Lisanna hcs shared a female darling who came from our world? Like what if Edolas some how sucked modern reader into fairy tail world~ 👀

(if this pairing makes you uncomfortable you can change lisanna to juvia , I don’t mind , hope your doing ok and I love your blog ) 💗

I actually can’t remember any scenes anymore where both of them were shown together on screen that would have shown their dynamic with each other so this is sheer speculation.

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional behavior, clinginess, overprotective behavior, manipulation

Sharing a s/o

⚙️▫️Honestly, despite the chaotic reputation the Fairy Tail guild has, they are going to be the most welcoming guild you could ask for as soon as you are accidentally sucked into this world. It’s going to be loud and also a tad bit messy but none of them would just send away someone who is lost and scared. You will be given shelter and support and even if you might not be close with any of them, there’s no need to fear that they might reject you if you were to ask them for help. I feel like from all the kind-hearted people in the guild, Lisanna would be someone who would sympathize with you especially. She has been sucked into the world of Edolas before and was stuck there for aomh time so she understands the feeling of feeling secretly lost and lonely. She would feel even more for you if she were to know already that you came from a completely different world in which case she would feel even sadder for you. Even in Edolas she still had friends after all but you are now completely on your own.

⚙️▫️If we’re following that logic, I definitely see Lisanna being the first one who gains an obsession with you. She makes especially sure that you’re feeling fine and welcomed. Obviously nothing can ever erase the loneliness and the confusion you feel deep within your heart after the separation from your real world but she does her best to make your time not only a blurry memory of sadness. She spends time with you, she shows you everything her guild and the town and landscapes around it have to offer and she is even willing to show you her magic. She notices that magic is a concept that doesn’t exist in your world which amazes you whenever you see it so she is willing to show you her magic to at least give you some happy moments. She also convinces her siblings as well as her friends to help her so you soon have a lot of the guild members giving you a show reminiscent of when you would visit a circus in your world but it manages to make you laugh even within your sorrow.

⚙️▫️Your laughter always makes her heart flutter , especially since you often look so absent with your thoughts. Lisanna is very dedicated to keep you happy and to make you smile as much as she can. Lisanna as a Yandere is honestly very interesting because she isn’t really noticing her own obsession and by extension also doesn’t hide it but her behavior is so subtle and harmless that most people wouldn’t even notice unless they know her well and observe you two closely. Lisanna is just being very nice to you at one point but not even you might question it at first. Lisanna has always been such a welcoming and nice girl after all so it is hard for you to really notice any difference. The increased time she spends with you and even the slightly more affectionate behavior a fly over your head. Lisanna is at this stage at least aware that she loves you, even if she probably doesn’t know anything about potentially darker thoughts that might invade her mind later on.

⚙️▫️She isn’t ready to confess to you just yet though. It isn’t because she isn’t sure of her own feelings because she absolutely is. It isn’t even because she feels like she has to make you love her before telling you about her feelings. It’s because she tries to be considerate. You have a lot on your mind and she doubts that you would be really able to focus on romantic love whilst wondering if there will ever be a way for you to get back home. Of course the thought that you don’t have the capacity to love someone because of your other worries upsets her a bit. At the same time she understands you though because she never stopped thinking about her real home whilst she was stuck in Edolas as well. So as hard as it may be at times, Lisanna does her best to hide her infatuation to not give you any more worries. That doesn’t keep her from being very clingy though as she probably spends the most time with you out of anyone in the guild.

⚙️▫️Since Lisanna and Gajeel are not only part of the Fairy Tail guild but both are also people who are befriended with Natsu, although neither Natsu or Gajeel would admit that so easily, I can see Gajeel and you getting closer because of this fact. Lisanna is guaranteed to introduce you to every Fairy Tail member and Natsu is sure to spend a lot of time with you because Lisanna and him are childhood friends. Gajeel is likely to either tag along willingly or just be forced to tag along so he gets to know you better too. Panther Lilly is also definitely going to be interested in talking with you because he also came originally from Edolas so he’d probably be very interested in hearing from you about your own world. Since he is Gajeel’s little buddy, you can expect the Dragon Slayer to often hang around his friend. This is probably how a lot of your first conversations start with Gajeel. Chances are that you are a bit intimidated due to his appearance and Gajeel notices and luckily tries to make himself less intimidating.

⚙️▫️Gajeel is definitely taking his time until he has also started gaining feelings for you but differently from Lisanna he is much quicker to realize that there seems to be something wrong. He’s more violent and impulsive in nature and that reflects in his feelings and thoughts. He’s possessive and feels very protective over you and shows that much more noticeable than Lisanna which leads to people around him noticing. He knows that it’s wrong and that bad attention from others, even if they are from his guild, means troubles so he is forced to try to tone it down. It is easier said than it is done though. Now that his attention is more on you though, he definitely is bound to notice Lisanna’s feelings about you too. He sees the faint blush on her cheeks when she looks at you, the dreamy look in her eyes or the way she just glues herself to you. On the one hand she sometimes manages to annoy him since she is so often around you that he gets so rarely the chance to be alone with you which definitely influences his mood for the worse.

⚙️▫️On the other hand he is still able to see why Lisanna would fall for you. Both of you share the similarity of having been torn away from the world you belonged to so obviously the Strauss sibling would be able to bond with you over such a thing. Whenever he considers that, he can’t deny the tinge of doubt he feels. He knows that Lisanna is a very warm and gentle soul who is even able to empathize on a personal level with you. Can he do that too? He doesn’t know if he can. He isn’t as sensitive as Lisanna is. At least he doesn’t believe himself to be. Honestly, those thoughts are doing nothing for his pride besides damaging it and this leads to him being soon in a permanently bad mood. The thought of not being able to help you in your sadness angers him. It has led him to getting into a couple of fights he willingly provoked to blow some steam off but he always stops as soon as he notices that you are watching as instant shame floods over him.

⚙️▫️He has tried to convince Panther Lily a couple of times into watching you for him but mostly his friend declines and reminds Gajeel that he’s basically asking him to stalk you. It’s not like Gajeel doesn’t know that already. It is getting quite bad by now though due to all his pent-up feelings. He’s so easily to trigger these days that most people have noticed that something is wrong and he feels so ashamed of it because he knows that he’s giving you the worst impression of himself. He’s jealous of Lisanna, even mad at her for taking so much of your time, but knows better than to start a fight with her. He wouldn’t want to attack her and even if he did, he would have Mirajane, Elfman, Natsu and so many others against him. You as well. Getting into a useless fight won’t do any good. He can’t just sit still and do nothing though. He has reached the end of his patience and he also fears that Lisanna might plan to confess to you before he ever gets the chance to tell you his own feelings.

⚙️▫️At this point I see Panther Lily starting to interfere for the sake of Gajeel since he notices that the Dragon Slayer doesn’t know what to do anymore. He probably either arranges for you to meet Gajeel alone or tells Gajeel’s friends who by this point might already have their own suspicions. It isn’t hard to notice how weirdly Gajeel behaves around you as if trying to be tough and uninterested yet brawling with everyone who breathes wrongly in your direction. Mirajane and Elfman have noticed too and are also aware of how Lisanna feels. Not to mention that even Lisanna has seen everything, not to mention that she knows all the gossip and teasing about Gajeel��s feelings for you. It leaves her feeling somewhat conflicted. Of course she isn’t happy about finding out that someone else has feelings for you although she knows just how lonely you are. On the other hand the Fairy Tail guild is a family and she greatly respects Gajeel.

⚙️▫️She chooses to try to solve the issue before things escalate somehow and approaches Gajeel eventually, all the more if Panther Lily arranged Gajeel to meet you alone and confess to you. Lisanna has an unfair advantage which lies in the fact that she is probably the person you trust most so you tell her almost everything. So if you have Gajeel confessing his feelings to you, even if he is somewhat embarrassed and flustered, you tell her. It’s probably that moment where she realizes that she can’t procrastinate this anymore. Gajeel is maybe a tad bit hostile when she first approaches him because he just can’t help his emotions that just want to vent out but he tries to hold any harsh words back. Lisanna doesn’t let herself be intimidated though and Gajeel secretly already has his suspicion about the topic of the conversation. He knows that this was unavoidable at one point anyways.

⚙️▫️Neither of them wants to start a conflict because not only would it harm the guild but no one of those two wants you to feel guilty over anything either. They can agree on a lot of things and that is perhaps the most important thing. Lisanna is probably the one who tentatively suggest at the end of the conversation that she would be willing to allow Gajeel to have time with you to and even if Gajeel isn’t very keen on sharing as he even finds the concept a bit strange, he is smart enough to know that there aren’t better options. It’s awkward for both of them in one way or another though because Lisanna and Gajeel aren't as close to each other as they are to some of the other members of Fairy Tail but it is definitely a functioning poly relationship. Lisanna and Gajeel are bound to spend more time with each other though so both definitely also discover the obsession the other one has with you too.

⚙️▫️Gajeel isn’t the best in hiding it and he knows that but he is much more surprised to find out that even Lisanna seems to be much more in love with you than he initially assumed. Of course she isn’t quite as possessive or aggressive as he tends to be but she is definitely obsessed about you too, even if she doesn’t even really notice this at time. She knows almost everything about you and has memorized so much about you that it is borderline creepy at times yet all of that is perfectly hidden behind her friendly smile that is genuine. Gajeel doesn’t even know if he should be impressed or weirded out by that. He has actually tried to subtly hint this at her too but since Lisanna is more prone to being delusional, he soon gives up. Lisanna is much more worried about Gajeel’s more obvious antics even though she is trusting his feelings enough to believe that he wouldn’t hurt you. She is still not able to keep a closer eye on him even if she does it subconsciously. Gajeel, who notices this, can only bite his tongue.

⚙️▫️Their bond will strengthen over time but they still spend their time separately with you too. It is an unfamiliar and uncomfortable feeling for Lisanna who used to spend almost her entire time with you but she knows that she has to endure. Gajeel definitely needs the time alone with you because being with you around others for an extended period of time exhausts him. A part of him is worried though that he might be for you in comparison to Lisanna too scary and intimidating so he tries to be extra gentle when around you. He prefers solitude with you even, mainly because he has no reason to get triggered if he’s just with you. His temper and willingness to get into a fight, even if it is just a friendly one, still worries Lisanna because she fears you might accidentally get involved. Her concern coupled with the fact that Gajeel doesn’t want you to see him in a bad light has led Gajeel into trying to hold back in public… At least if he knows that you are watching.

⚙️▫️The rest of the guild is probably not going to be too judgmental about the poly relationship. Yes, there will be some who will question it more than others but overall no one will have very much to criticize about. The dynamic is quite interesting because on the one hand you have Lisanna who is almost underwhelming with her behavior and then you have Gajeel who is occasionally walking on the thin line between being somewhat normal or overwhelming. He’s competitive though so Lisanna’s ability to fly under the radar so well is almost challenging in a way and another motivation why he tries to hold himself better back. Gajeel does his best to give you a good time just as much as Lisanna does as he’s secretly concerned that otherwise you’ll only see everything negatively due to your sadness and will wish to get home as quickly as possible.

⚙️▫️Now, neither Gajeel nor Lisanna expect that you’ll ever stop wishing to get back home because they know that no one can replace the dear ones you have over there. But both are a tad bit worried about the phenomenon. No one of them, not even the other members in the guild, are fully sure how to bring you back although all work hard to find a way. No one would stop you from going back home because stopping you would be far too cruel yet Lisanna and Gajeel dread that you may never want to return as soon as they’ve found a way, even if both of them hope that they and their guild mean more to you. It’s something neither of them wants to give too much thoughts but if the solution draws closer and closer, neither of them would be able to procrastinate it for any longer. Lisanna is so painfully optimistic though, perhaps her delusions enable her to have far more faith than Gajeel who is silently fretting over this.

#yandere fairy tail #yandere gajeel #yandere gajeel redfox #yandere lisanna #yandere lisanna strauss

24 notes · View notes

sailoryooons · 2 years

Text

Mixtape | Four (Finale) | myg (m)

☾ Pairing: Yoongi x f. reader

☾ Summary: You’ve had a crush on Yoongi for most of your life. On a holiday trip to the cabin, you’re reunited with Yoongi after not seeing him from two years and things go less than according to plan.

☾ Word Count: 12,798

☾ Genre: Childhood friends to lovers/brother’s bff, smut, angst

☾ Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately.

☾ Warnings: Explicit language, implied age gap (three years), anxiety attack depictions, light depictions of self-deprecating thoughts, drinking alcohol, depictions of drinking and being drunk, petty squabbles between women, light depictions of depression and depressive thoughts, angst (not SUPER heavy but it's there) tough conversations with siblings, Jin is kind of mean and not super understanding, time skips, explicit sexual content including dirty talk, spitting, oral (f. receiving), missionary, forced orgasms, doggy, clit stimulation, light mentions of subspace-similar mindset post sex, fluff

☾ Published: May, 2022

☾ A/N: This is an absolute caffeine fueled writing binge. This chapter is not as long as I was expecting it to be - I edited it down a ton because while I was writing the angst, I started to feel like it wasn't true to the story. Our characters are all mostly mature and honestly, I felt like a very very drawn out fight was not the right move. So I re-wrote the scenes, and this is the result. Thank you for all the amazing people who left comments and read this little four part story. I hope that you found as much comfort in the friendships and Yoongi and reader as I did. I have no idea how to let these characters go, which means I will most likely write drabbles and mini stories here and there because I am feral for them. I hope this lives up to everyone's long awaited expectations!

☾ Disclaimer: All members of BTS are faces and name claims for this story. This is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios.

Sweat beads on your neck, making your hair stick to you. The ache in your back and arms from hauling the cooler full of ice out to the porch is significant. Jimin had accidentally put the ice in the cooler before pulling it to the porch, meaning the pair of you had to haul it full of ice.

The entire house has been put to work with Seokjin at the lead, ordering people around with duties to prepare for the final night’s festivities. Despite the cool breeze outside, you’re sweaty an miserable, huffing and puffing by the time the cooler is in place.

“Why is Jin in charge?” you pant, collapsing on one of the lounge chairs on the porch. Jimin wipes his forehead with the hem of his shirt, rolling his eyes. “Because he’s the oldest. That’s what he said this morning, anyway.”

“It’s technically your party.”

“Is it, though?”

You grin. Seokjin always takes over for these things and though you poke fun and complain about him a little bit, you were all glad he takes on the pressure of party planning. He always makes sure to give people tasks that are suited to them, and it always makes things organized.

It is the only time Seokjin is organized. You can’t imagine how Yoongi is managing to share a room with your brother. Yoongi is meticulous with his laundry and organization of clothes while Seokjin tends to fold nothing before shoving it in drawers.

Around lunch, Seokjin and Yoongi both come out to the porch to start grilling. Hungry mouths and rumbling stomachs fill the porch as you stand on a ladder, hanging lights that Jimin feeds you.

Though Jimin and Taehyung are now in on your secret, they don’t use the opportunity to poke fun at you or give you secret eyes when Yoongi hands you water. They behave as normal, jostling each other when the food is ready but relenting to let you grab a plate first.

Everyone eats together on the porch. It’s loud but comfortable. You’re between Taehyung and Jungkook - the latter who steals fries from your plate. Glancing around at everyone, you can’t help but feel a pang. You love this group so much and have been through so much together. You hate that it’s your last day, wanting to stretch this time forever.

This time with them is so rare. You look down at your lap, chewing the corner of your lip. Your flight home tomorrow is early in the morning, and though you know you’re going back with good memories with your friends and a promise of something with Yoongi, you dread going home.

Everyone lounges into the early afternoon. No one is eager to finish their tasks and afternoon naps become a disease Seokjin can no longer fight. Ren snaps a picture of Jungkook with his head in your lap, asleep. Taehyung is asleep on Jimin’s shoulder, who is asleep on the arm of the couch.

As the late afternoon creeps closer, everyone starts to shake off sleep and get ready. Yoongi catches you alone a single time as he passes you on the stairs, quick to steal a kiss on the cheek while he carries down wires and electrical strips for the DJ setup for him and Hoseok to take turns manning.

Tossing yourself on the bed, you drift off to sleep, hoping that you can make the last of your night the best.

Music pulses from the ridiculously nice DJ setup Yoongi and Hoseok have made themselves. You weave through the living room toward the kitchen, having just come downstairs. There are people already crushed in the living room. Seokjin and Namjoon have carefully rearranged the furniture, pulling pieces into the theater room and locking the door.

Your eyes slide up to where Yoongi and Hoseok are murmuring to one another over the music. Feeling your gaze, Yoongi’s eyes slide over to you. He’s in a loose button-up shirt, top buttons undone at the throat and tucked into his black jeans. His hair is styled back, a single loose lock of blonde hair brushing his brow.

You swallow thickly. He gives you a smug look and waves before you vanish into the kitchen. You spot Wendy out of the corner of your eye as she leans on the counter talking to Ren. You catch her eye for a moment and you smile out of instinct - it waivers immediately when she doesn’t return it.

With something like guilt and anxiety curling in your stomach, you root around the fridge, procuring the seltzers and beers you want. You feel Wendy’s gaze on you as you leave the kitchen and head toward your destination - he’s been your destination all weekend, but you try not to think about it too hard.

The music is louder by the speakers, vibrating your ribcage as you carefully navigate around the cords taped down to the wood flooring. You hand Hoseok a beer and he grins, kissing the top of your head and showering you in praise as you pass the other beer to Yoongi. His fingers brush yours meaningfully.

“Thanks, kid.”

You smile at the nickname and retreat, finding Taehyung at the beer pong table. You’re only there for seconds before Seokjin finds you. “Wanna wipe the floor with these fuckers?” he asks, sipping his beer and looking down at you. “Like old times.”

Your grin is feral. “Like old times,” you agree.

Old times indeed. You and your brother slip into the muscle memory of your college years, working as a tag team to take down everyone else at the table. You’re cocky and you can be - you both have killer aim and when Seokjin sinks one in, elbowing you to hit the same cup before it can be taken away, you do.

Jimin groans again, calling for a committee to ban siblings from the table. Even buzzed, you’re a better shot than he is, sticking your tongue out at him.

Time passes. You’re not sure when Yoongi appears, but he blinks into existence on the other side of Seokjin, cat-eyes watching with muted interest as you work to clear the last of the cups of the pair you’re playing against.

He whistles. “You two were always good at pong. Is there any betting going on?”

Seokjin claps Yoongi on the back, laughing loudly. “No one would take the bet, I’m afraid. Will you fill the space for me? I have to piss.”

Yoongi nods. Seokjin switches spots with him, making a beeline for the stairs. Yoongi is casual as he bounces the ping pong ball in his hand. You’re enchanted as he catches it, rings glinting on his fingers. Across the table, there’s a group trying to figure out who had the next game.

“What are you staring at, kid?”

Yoongi’s dark drawl brings your eyes to his. He’s smirking, eyes amused. He knows what you were staring at, but he loves when you confess to him. Loves to hear you admit it. You know this about him now so you answer, “Your hands.”

“Remembering what they can do to you?”

“Something like that.”

Together, you re-rack the cups. You don’t chat much, but you don’t feel the need to. Yoongi fills the space next to you wonderfully. He’s more accurate than your brother is, years of playing basketball in high school showing in his prowess.

You hate how the smallest things turn you on.

Seokjin rejoins you at some point. Suri is next to him along with Mako, the trio cheering you on as you finish dominating the game. When Yoongi tries to give his space back to Seokjin, you’re surprised when your brother waves him off. He seems content to watch and jeer at others on the side.

You play a few rounds, adding water between your drinks as they begin to stack up. Eventually, you’re unseated by the Maxwell twins, who are arguably more in tune with one another than you and Yoongi are. It doesn’t entirely matter. You’re a little more than drunk, stumbling toward the wine cellar as Jimin hollers at you to get the Merlot.

Skimming the racks in the dim, dry room, you hum the song you vaguely recognize coming through the shut door. Tapping your fingers along the bottles, you hear the door open and close behind you, feet shuffling down the stairs.

“Jimin, I swear I won’t take the super expensive stuff, okay?”

A throaty chuckle behind you has you spinning. Yoongi walks down the aisle slowly. “Get the expensive shit,” he encourages. “Jimin’s parents won’t notice.”

“What’d you have to pay for the passcode?” You tease, disappearing in the next row.

You can hear his soft steps on the wooden floor as he follows you. You’re quick on your feet, ducking behind another rack of wine just as he comes around the corner. He groans. “Just the usual: my first child, a favor to fulfill at any time, swearing to never hurt you.”

“Hmm that’s a lot of promises for a wine room.”

“I didn’t want the wine room, I wanted what was inside of it.”

Yoongi beats you to an aisle, appearing at the end. You squeal and twist back, rushing through the room as he laughs loudly. “Where are you running off to, sweet girl?”

“If you want me you’ll catch me!”

You can’t help the giddy feeling thrumming through you. You rush down the farthest aisle of wine, trying to move as quietly as possible. As it turns out, it isn’t that quiet. Yoongi hears you and cuts you off on the jump, making you crash into him with a wild squeal.

Arms wrapped around you, he squeezes and hauls you upwards. Your feet leave the ground as he laughs, spinning you as you shriek and wiggle, trying to get away from him. He grunts before putting you unceremoniously on your feet, but not letting you go.

“You want to break your neck?” he asks as you spin in his arms. He’s only a little taller than you, but you don’t care. You grin up at him, wrapping your arms around his middle and hugging him closer. His breath smells like honied whiskey as he leans close to you. “I’d be really sad, kid.”

“Yeah? How sad.”

“Real sad. I would eat loads of Sour Patch Kids in your memory. Would watch Sailor Moon at least once a day. Would make a few playlists to cry to, maybe.”

“Maybe?”

He grins as you huff. You press the underneath your chin against his chest, looking up at him with big, round eyes. “You know I’d make you mixtapes.”

“No one calls them mixtapes anymore, old man.”

“I do. And I will make you mixtapes when you’re gone.”

“Make them for me now.”

Yoongi’s kiss is soft. Your eyes flutter close as you let him press firmer into your mouth. He breaks away before you can run your tongue on his bottom lip like you love. “Okay. I’ll make some for you. Now let’s pick some wine before anyone comes looking for us.”

“Please, no one has looked for us in three nights.” Something passes his face. You can’t pick up on it, but he drops his hands from around you and gives you a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Is something wrong?”

He hesitates. “Not at all, kid. Come on,” he pokes you. “Get your wine.”

So you do. You grab a fruity red with chocolate notes that you had been eyeing and the Merlot. He takes one bottle from you and takes your hand with the other. You swing your hands back and forth, happy to be there. You can’t help but pout when you have to separate at the door, but you get it.

“Soon,” he murmurs, kissing you on the temple and smacking you lightly on your ass as you squeeze through the door and back to the world of the roaring party.

Yoongi excuses himself to take over for Hoseok to control the music. You collapse onto the couch with Jungkook and Taehyung, joining in the drinking games as you uncork the wine

Wendy and Jungkook pass you in the hall. Her eyes are cutting as Jungkook stops you, begging you to share the wine. You roll your eyes, accompanying him to the kitchen which turns into an hour-long mission for cups. Everyone stops to ask him about streaming and ask you about job openings. Your job is cool, but you’re thirsty and there’s sweet wine waiting patiently to meet your mouth.

Cups in hand, the pair of you finally peel away into the living room where a childish game of truth and dare is going on. You’re wedged in a corner with Jungkook, trapped by the Maxwell twins who are grilling you about gaming.

You finish your wine, pouting. Yoongi catches your eye as he walks toward the kitchen, making a cup motion with his hand. You nod, biting your lip shyly as you turn to Jungkook, who watches the whole thing. He raises his brows but says nothing, gesturing toward where Taehyung is sitting on the couch by the truth or dare game which has resulted in a lot of weird making out.

As you walk by the circle of partiers with Jungkook, you hear someone call your name. You laugh, turning from Jungkook to see Wendy sitting next to Seokjin. She tilts her beer bottle toward you with a smile and you think nothing of it, asking “What’s up?”

Yoongi is coming out of the kitchen with two glasses of wine in his hand, making his way toward you as Wendy’s grin increases. Her eyes are hazy, and her cheeks are flushed from drinking.

“Your turn – truth or dare?”

“Uhhh dare, I guess?”

Why not? You’re feeling bold, the alcohol fueling you to lean against the couch behind Ren, smiling. Wendy smiles back, tilting her head as her friend snickers beside her. You’re warm, buzzing, and you don’t see it coming.

“I dare you to tell your brother you’re fucking his best friend.”

The smile drops from your face. Jungkook audibly gasps next to you and the people sitting around the table swivel to face you. Wendy leans back, one leg crossing over the other as she watches you, hands crossed over her chest.

Yoongi has frozen where he stands, just hearing the edge of the conversation.

“What?” you manage to ask. You shake your head, trying to shake off the feeling of being drunk. Everything is too loud and you can’t help but repeat the question, “What?”

“I dare you to tell Jin you’re sleeping with Yoongi.”

“Wendy.” You hear Yoongi’s deep warning from somewhere, but your eyes are only on your brother who looks at Wendy with a frown. She doesn’t dare look away from you, a challenge in her green eyes. You think of the nasty look she shot you earlier and your stomach drops.

You lick your lips, mouth suddenly dry. You search for the words as a flash of heat crawls up your neck, hands shaking as Seokjin turns in his seat, looking at you and rolling his eyes. “As if, Wen.” Seokjin settles his gaze on you. Sees you wide-eyed and sweating. Sees the rise and fall of your chest as you begin to pant. “Wait, you’re joking, right?”

Yoongi cuts through the people who are still partying, making his way to you. Jungkook is at your back, hand pulling at your waist to back you up from the couch. Taehyung gets up from the couch, eyes dark as he takes residence beside Jungkook, two dark knights flanking you.

“Here comes the hero,” Wendy’s friend murmurs next to her, a satisfied smirk on her face. Her eyes are on Yoongi, who Jungkook makes room for. “Lie to Wendy again how she was never a threat to your relationship.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Ren snaps, leaning forward. She’s red in the face but you barely hear her as she says, “You are such an instigator – you are twenty-seven, grow up!”

“Let’s talk,” Yoongi says to Seokjin, who is staring at Yoongi, the tips of his ears turning red as he opens and closes his mouth. Seokjin’s hands turn to fists as his dark eyes flicker from you to Yoongi. You’re still fumbling, overwhelmed with terror and embarrassment. “Away from everyone.”

“Are you fucking my sister?”

The question makes you flinch. You’re shifting back and forth between feet, pushing at Yoongi to step away. People are starting to turn around and look at you. Eyes. So many eyes. It’s hot in the room and you feel like your clothes are sticking to your chest, like you can’t get enough room. You pull at the hem of your shirt, trying to loosen it.

“Jin, stop-” you start to ask, unable to finish the question before he’s cutting you off. Your voice is too small, too frail.

You suddenly feel like the little girl you used to be. Too shy to talk to your brother’s friends, ducking out of rooms when they were around. Your fight or flight kicks in. It’s hard to breathe, so you focus on Taehyung’s grip on you. You focus on his touch as much as you can, trying to level your breathing.

“Are you fucking my sister?” He asks again, standing. His voice is louder. The attention of the party is starting to turn on you in full. The people around the table are staring nudging one another with their elbows.

The focus of the room is shifting to you as Yoongi murmurs for Seokjin to come with him outside to talk. Seokjin isn’t moving, even when Jungkook walks around the couch to pull at Seokjin’s elbow, trying to gently guide him away from the table. Seokjin rips his arm away from the younger, face like a storm. You squeeze your eyes shut, turning into Taehyung who has his arms around you now.

“Answer the question!”

“Please stop,” you ask, voice cracking, but it’s muffled by Taehyung’s chest.

“You fucking asshole,” Seokjin swears. “This is a new low, even for you.”

“Outside,” Yoongi growls. “You’re embarrassing her.”

“I don’t care!”

“Well I do.” Yoongi looks over his shoulder, addressing Taehyung, “Go get some air.”

Taehyung lets go of you, pulling you away from the scene but you’re rooted in place. “Jin, I-”

“The two of you, man,” Seokjin scoffs, shaking Jungkook’s hand off him again as he storms toward the front of the house. “Un-fucking-believable.”

Everything feels like it’s happening in slow motion. Seokjin is storming through people, people dodging out of his way. Ren is leaning over the coffee table, jabbing a finger toward Wendy who looks pale in the face as her friends push Ren’s accusatory finger away. Lydia’s hand is on Ren’s elbow, pulling her back.

Another tug on your arm. You turn to see Yoongi, dark eyes searching, brows creased as he cups your face briefly. You turn away from him, but his grip is firm, angling you back to him.

“Just give me some time, okay?”

You wordlessly nod. Yoongi sighs and kisses you on the temple, heading to where your brother has disappeared. Yoongi looks at Wendy and asks, “Why?”

Yoongi doesn’t give her time to answer. He’s charging after Seokjin. Namjoon is telling people to mind their own business. Hoseok has turned the music up so loud that it’s rattling your insides. Familiar hands guide you out of the back door. Down the porch.

Your heart is pounding. The words are ringing in your ears over and over again. The two of you, man. Un-fucking-believable.

Wood creaks underneath your shoes. Gentle arms around your waist – you can smell Jimin’s cologne – orange blossoms and gentle citrus. Taehyung’s fingers are laced with yours, squeezing. You feel something hot on your neck, lifting the hand not in Taehyung’s to touch the heated skin, realizing its tears.

You don’t know when you started crying. The boys take it in stride. They don’t say anything, they led you bury your face into Jimin’s neck. You ruin his shirt, you’re sure. It doesn’t matter. You let everything out, praying that no one is watching you from the porch. It’s ugly and it’s messy, the sobs choking.

“I didn’t-” you gasp over tears, trying to get the words out, “I didn’t mean-”

The sentence doesn’t come to completion. Taehyung squeezes your hand. Jimin has a hand brushing your head, the other secure around your waist. You can’t see Ren, but you hear her voice, high-pitched and cursing somewhere outside.

You want to thank her – to let her know you appreciate the backup – but the shame and the guilt are so powerful that instead, all you can do is cry.

And you hate yourself a little more for it.

Eventually, you sit on the dock. Ren and Jungkook listen as you fill them in on everything, sniffling. Taehyung still has your hand fiercely held in his, refusing to let you go.

It makes you think of when Yoongi asked to hold your hand so it was easier to talk. It makes you sniffle and lean your head on Jimin’s shoulder.

Your friends don’t judge you. No one tells you that you’re wrong, even though you feel like the worst person in the world. You’re quick to blame yourself and none of them are having it, waving off any self-accusation that you can manage.

“I shouldn’t have indulged,” you whisper.

“Having feelings for someone isn’t indulging,” Ren snaps. She’s still hot from her confrontation with Wendy. “Having feelings is a human thing. Hiding it to safeguard your feelings is a normal reaction, and Jin is way out of line for the way he handled that. We are pushing thirty, for fucks sake!”

“I’m a fucking liar.”

“Who isn’t?” Ren demands. “I don’t give a shit that you lied about it. You intended to tell Jin, right?” You nod. “That’s all that matters. It wasn’t to hurt him – it would have been super weird to ruin the trip. Like you know – is sort of happening right now.”

The sound of skin slapping skin and Ren cursing at Jungkook sounds. Jungkook clears his throat and murmurs, “You didn’t ruin the trip – Ren phrased that poorly. But we get why you did it, and Jin has to understand. Honestly? If Jin didn’t know you and Yoongi have been giving each other moon eyes for years, he’s an idiot.”

You don’t know what to say to that, so you say nothing.

No one goes back to the party. Hoseok and Namjoon hold down the fort. Hosoek comes out with water and briefly ruffles your hair, promising that Seokjin will come around. You can’t find it in you to give him a smile, but you thank him nonetheless.

Yoongi does not come to find you.

Minutes blend together while the five of you talk about anything and everything that doesn’t involve the confrontation. Ren has dialed it down, though she has asked multiple times if you want her to fight Wendy.

Truly, you don’t.

Yoongi had mentioned the night before how Wendy could be. And if you put yourself in her shoes? You understood. Because from Wendy’s point of view, it was like the worst thing was coming true. Something she had always feared in her own relationship with Yoongi ended up becoming real.

You can’t blame her for wondering if you were on the sidelines all along. You can’t blame her for thinking Yoongi lied every time he told you that you weren’t a threat. It’s a wound that she openly nursed in their relationship – not that you knew about it – and now it’s reopened. Fresh.

So she’s lashed out where it could hurt Yoongi, even if it meant hurting you and Seokjin in the process. Because she’s embarrassed, hurt, and feels lied to.

It isn’t a great place for her to be in, either.

As though your sympathies have manifested her, a feminine voice clears their throat. Ren is already getting to her feet, growling at Wendy who stands awkwardly where the splintered planks begin. She has a bottle of water in her hand, half gone and she fiddles with the hem of her shirt.

“Ca? Alone, please?”

“No?” Jimin laughs mirthlessly. “What could you possibly have to say?”

“I just want to talk.”

You touch Jimin as you meet Wendy’s eyes. The eyeliner is patchy and her mascara is smudged a bit. The tip of her nose is red. You realize that she’s been crying.

Taking a deep breath, you say, “Can you give us a few, guys?” None of your friends budge. You roll your eyes and pinch Taehyung. He groans and leads the charge, peeling himself from the dock, pulling Jungkook and Jimin by their shirts. “I’m fine.”

“I’d like to stay,” Ren asserts. You level a glare at her. She huffs and gets up, dusting herself off. “Fine, I’ll stay over there where I can see you but can’t hear. Is that suitable?”

You nod. Your friends aren’t excited to leave you alone with Wendy, who won’t look any of them in the eye. Despite your heart racing and the mounting urge to scream at her, you take a breath and gesture to the empty space next to you.

Ren and the others don’t go far, lingering a few yards away from the dock, huddled together and pretending not to cast glances at you. Wendy looks over her shoulder at them as she sits down on the dock, leaving a considerable amount of space between you.

“They’re good friends,” Wendy observes.

“They are. I don’t think you’re here to talk about them.”

“No. But I wonder if I surrounded myself with friends like them if I would be nicer.”

“Perhaps a little, but you’re an adult. It’s free to be nice and exercise good habits that promote that.”

Wendy sucks in a breath at the harsh comment but you don’t take it back. She blows out the air, tilting her head up to look at the sky. “Yeah, I deserve that.” You shrug. She continues, “I feel ridiculous saying sorry – not because you don’t deserve it, but because it’s only been like an hour and I feel terrible about it.”

“It was an unkind thing to do.”

“You’re right. It was childish and unfair to you, Yoongi and Jin.”

“Then why did you do it?”

“Because I felt small and insecure. Maybe you don’t know, but Yoongi was always so different about you. I let that shit eat at me for a very long time instead of addressing it properly. You guys always seemed so much more in sync, and I was always envious of how easy it was for you to understand him when I couldn’t.”

“I’m sorry that you struggled with that.”

She waves a hand. “I’ll have to get over it. When I realized you guys vanished together last night and when he didn’t answer my text asking if you were a thing-”

You whip your head to her. “He knew you knew?”

Wendy blinks in surprise. She opens and closes her mouth. “I sent a pretty drunk text accusing him of it. And then when I saw you two come out from the wine cellar tonight, I knew.”

You pick at the cracked pieces of wood that make up the dock. Peeling tiny splinters and slivers, you think about that. Yoongi had known that Wendy was suspicious – had commented on her being petty and lashing out and yet, he didn’t tell you.

It’s probably nothing to be upset over, and yet you are. Because this could have been prevented, you could have known there was a target on your back.

Swallowing past the building frustration, you say, “So what changed your mind?”

“I felt pretty gross about it immediately after. Seeing your anxiety attack made me feel terrible because I’ve been there.”

“It felt pretty terrible.”

She nods. “I’m sure it did. I can’t take it back, but I wanted you to know that I’m aware I shouldn’t have done that. It does nothing at the moment, but if it’s worth anything, I’m going to attempt to learn from this.”

“Do more than attempt and I’ll be pleased.”

She offers you a soft smile. Nodding when the silence gets awkward, she pushes herself up from the dock. She hesitates and adds, “You and Yoongi? You make sense. You always have. Jin might be upset for a while, but I think he’ll see that. I’d like to apologize to them both when I have a chance.”

“I think that would be nice. And Wen?” she turns and looks at you. “Thanks.”

Wendy smiles and nods, heading back toward the house. She skirts your friends, giving them a wide berth as they come back, piling themselves on the dock.

“No hair pulling?” Taehyung asks with a pout. You shake your head with a breathy laugh. “Huh. Fights are so much less fun as an adult.”

Yoongi and Seokjin are nowhere to be found when you return to the party. It’s died down considerably. Namjoon meets you halfway through the living room, letting you know that the pair of them left the house to go somewhere to talk.

Anxiety eats away at you as the last of the partygoers leave. You check your phone repeatedly but there’s nothing from either of them.

You cannot imagine the conversation they’re having. And though you had begun to mentally prepare yourself for Seokjin’s reactions, you cry when you lay down in your bed, unable to stop worrying that you’ve ruined their friendship to a point of no return.

Sleep is impossible. So you stare at the ceiling, spiraling into a series of memories. You can’t help but sift through memories with your brother as you sniffle, tears occasionally escaping your eyes.

Seokjin is a good brother. He is the best brother. He has always been there for you in ways that you probably haven’t really thanked him for.

As the younger sibling, it occurs to you that Seokjin was so much more of a leader in your life than you realize. It makes you cry a little more, rolling over as the guilt makes your stomach flip.

Though your parents weren’t around much – your mother splitting time between Italy as a fancy and flighty artist, your father working on overseeing multiple construction projects for condominiums in Miami, Malibu, Busan, Hong Kong, and Dubai – and Seokjin had always been there.

There had been the nannies and housekeepers. They were fine and they were responsible. But your childhood is painted with images of Seokjin coming to get you for dinner. Of him faxing your parents’ permission slips for your field trips. Of him hanging out in lobbies of doctor’s offices while you got physicals to play soccer.

And now you’re asking him to share Yoongi.

But shouldn’t you be able to be happy? Your annoyance begins to build. Why aren’t you allowed to have what you want? Why aren’t you allowed to like Yoongi? It isn’t that big of a deal. The world goes on, and it’ll either work or it won’t.

Just as the light begins to turn grey outside, you hear footsteps in the hall. You sit up straight in bed, clutching the blankets in your hands as the door opens. You hold your breath, leaning forward as your brother slips into the room.

He’s still in the clothes from the party.

Heavy silence hangs in the air. Seokjin leans against the door, staring at you. You’ve never felt this before, this gap between you. It’s like even if you held your hand out to him, you cannot breach the wall. He’s so far away, though he’s looking at you with a blank expression.

“What do you want me to say?” you ask. “You’re not going to accept an apology, but I am sorry.”

Seokjin shrugs. “Doesn’t feel like it.”

“We were going to tell you.”

“Don’t really care.”

That sparks a fire in you. “Is it really the end of the world for you?” You demand. “That I want to date your friend? He’s my friend too.”

“He is my friend first. That was always the deal, always the bargain. I share everything with you and you had to go and fuck Yoongi? Honestly?”

“It wasn’t just that-”

“Yoongi doesn’t date. You know that better than anyone, and when he does date, he fucking sucks at it. You don’t deserve that shit. How many times did you catch him fucking around in college and you think – you think that is love?”

“I never said anything about love,” you snap. “But I want to give him a chance-”

“Two weeks ago he was talking about how dating wasn’t for him. Had an entire conversation about it. Then we get here and suddenly he throws me in the fucking trash for you.”

“That isn’t what he did, and you’re an asshole for saying that.”

“He is willing to give up my friendship with him for a relationship with you. It feels the same.”

“Yoongi loves you. You’re his best friend, this… this changes nothing, Jin. We’re not sharing him, he’s not some child to have split custody over-”

“I gave up my life for you!” Seokjin screams, making you feel small. “Took you to practice, helped you with homework, let you hang out with me and my friends. Always took you places so you didn’t have to be alone, because mom and dad didn’t care if you were alone.”

Your tears spill over. You can’t stop them as you cover your face in your hands. Because his words are honest and laced with a pain you didn’t know existed. “And now everyone is mad at me,” Seokjin’s voice cracks. “Because I’m upset that I have to share another person, another friendship. Because everyone has always given you what you’ve wanted, and I’m not allowed to be upset because my friend would rather date my sister than be friends with me.”

“I’m sorry,” you cry.

“I don’t want you to be sorry, I want you to understand. It feels like I’m having to give you another part of my life. It’s not – it’s not even that you lied to me. You’re my sister, you’re supposed to lie. But Yoongi? He’s not supposed to lie to me. He is the single person in my life I have been able to count on outside of my single sibling, and he chose you. What don’t you get?”

Fresh tears burn. You feel the sob working its way up, and Seokjin isn’t there to comfort you. He’s worlds away, across the room looking at you with exquisite pain. Because he’s right. Seokjin’s entire life has revolved around you, and the one friend that Seokjin has considered only his now wants to be with you.

“I love you,” Seokjin murmurs. “You’re my sister. I’d do anything for you - I do anything for you. I love Yoongi, he’s my best friend. But you could have just… just talked to me. Instead you chose each other inside of ever thinking about me. Both of you. No one chose me.”

“Okay. I will stay away.”

Seokjin waves his hand, opening the door to leave. “Do whatever you want. It’s already fucking ruined.”

“Jin…”

“I’ll get over it one day, but I’m mad. Let me be mad.” He hits the wall lightly, bouncing his palm on it. “I love you, okay? Have a safe flight in the morning.”

“I love you too.”

Your flight out isn’t far off. You peel the clothes off and step into the shower. Wash the misery down the drain. Scrub the tear marks off your cheeks. Exhaustion weighs heavy on you, dragging every step to change and re-pack the rest of your bag.

A gentle knock on the door draws your attention as you finish zipping the bag closed. You turn as Yoongi lets himself in and you can’t help it – you take in a deep breath, feeling jittery as you do a quick assessment.

He’s in sweats and a long-sleeve shirt. His blonde hair is hidden under a hat pulled so low you almost can’t see his face. But you see the red-lined eyes, the dark circles and the paleness of exhaustion there.

“Can I take you to the airport?” he asks, voice gentle.

It sounds final. Heavy. So you nod wordlessly, pulling your bag from the bed. When you approach him, Yoongi holds his hand out. You give him your bag, letting him do this final thing for you.

The house is undisturbed. Downstairs, you blink in surprise to find everyone except your brother. You say your goodbyes and find them more muted than usual. Namjoon ruffles your hair, an attempt at cheering up but it feels hollow.

Maybe it’s just because you’re hollow. Because you know where this going.

It doesn’t make the silence better for the first fifteen minutes. Pearl light falls across Yoongi’s profile, half of him shadowed and half of him glowing. He looks so beautiful that you angle yourself toward the door, averting your eyes.

Yoongi drives leaned back, a single hand on the wheel. Casual confidence, even though his mouth is tight.

After twenty minutes, he offers his hand over the center console. Palm up. Welcoming. Missing you already.

You slid your hand in his, gentle palms against rough skin. He holds your hand tight and nods. “You don’t want to date.”

“Yeah,” your voice cracks. “It’s… yeah.”

He nods, mouth forming a folded line. His eyes are focused on the road, unblinking. You almost take your hand out of his, mistaking his silence and expression for anger. But his grip is tight.

“Can I convince you otherwise?”

“I don’t know.” Your voice is low and tight, vocal cords strained as the tears threaten you again. “Will he come around?”

Yoongi let’s out a sound somewhere between a hiss and a sigh. “I have no fucking idea, baby.” He glances at you side long, dark eyes tracing your face. “I want to think so. He’s deeply upset, and he has every right to be. I said some things I shouldn’t have, and instead of explaining, I alienated him. It didn’t help that all our friends picked a side. He feels like no one is listening to his hurt.”

“It wasn’t just you.”

Yoongi sighs. His thumb brushes back and forth across your hand. “I can’t sit here and promise you he’ll be okay with it. I have no idea where my friendship with him goes after this. But if you want this, I’m here. If you don’t, I understand.”

“Why do I have to make all the decisions?” you ask in a whisper.

He smiles. “Life is tough, kid. Maybe think about it for a few days. I’m a phone call away.”

The airport stretches ahead of you. Your feet are like lead when you get out of the car. You don’t want to leave. Your heart is screaming to say something- anything.

Instead, you let him pull you into his chest. Notes of sandalwood. Soft lips against your forehead. The brush of his nose against yours as he gifts you a soft, lingering kiss.

Yoongi’s hands drop to his sides as you step back. He gives you a smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. There’s no mirth. You nod and take your bag from him. It weighs you down further.

“Tell someone when you land safely, if not me, okay?”

You nod. “Are we… are we allowed to talk?”

“If that’s what you want.”

“Okay.”

He smiles, nodding toward the automatic doors of the airport. “Safe flight, kid.”

Stars are in the sky, glittering high above you as you sit on the chaise section of the couch. You’re wrapped in blankets, a steaming cup of tea balanced on the cushion next to you as you type and erase. Type and erase.

This has been a game for days now. You don’t know what to say. Asking ‘how are you’ seems like opening the door to false niceties or painful truths. ‘How is your day’ feels just as pointless. So you type and erase, wondering if Yoongi is watching the three bubbles appear and reappear on his screen, or if he’s given up on the radio silence.

You stare at the conversation.

Me: Landed safe.

Min Yoongi: I’m glad.

You already miss the nickname and the cat emoji. You changed it before texting him – somehow thinking about you pressed toe-to-toe with Yoongi in that closet while he carried you to safety on a curated playlist is too sharp.

Me: I’m sorry for everything.

Min Yoongi: Don’t be.

Me: Read 1:43 pm

That was a week ago. You’ve tried to figure out what to say, but you’re not sure if you should say anything at all. You told him that you didn’t want to do this. You have no idea if he and Seokjin are speaking – Seokjin certainly isn’t speaking to you – and you’re not sure if you’re supposed to be friends or not.

Jungkook comes out of his room, commanding your attention. He’s got wireless gaming headphones around his neck, RBG lights turning his face red then blue. His hair hangs in his eyes and he frowns when he sees you, coming over to sit next to you. You snatch the cup of tea before he can spill it.

“How’s the stream?” you ask. You know it’s going well – you’ve been watching on your phone in the dark between trying to come up with something to say to Yoongi at 11:15 pm on a Friday night.

“Good. People are really excited about the release of the new agent and map. What other plans do you have for that?”

You blow out air, hair dancing in front of your face. Leaning your head on the back of the couch, you rub at your temples. Your company has a new character and map coming out in the new season and you’ve been working on the marketing for months.

And now with the last few strings needing to be tied, you feel completely uninspired.

Your season playbook sits on the coffee table. It’s filled with coffee stains and wrinkled pages from water damage. You’re not nice to your notebooks, but you do get the best use out of them. The marketing plan had been finished weeks ago, all mapped out perfectly.

There were now a few loose ends with a streamer backing out of featuring it due to some family concerns. You need to fill the gap for showcasing the new character, and Jungkook is already on the docket for it.

You’ve got a month to fix the gap. Something that is normally not a problem, except you’ve come home with your head hung low and your heart somewhere you cannot reach.

“Just looking for a replacement for Geko. He wasn’t a professional streamer but he has a huge audience for his music and he’s super into gaming.”

Jungkook chews on his lip. His brows pinch in the middle for a second and he suddenly pats you on the back incredibly hard. “Let the chips fall where they may.”

“I- what?” Jungkook is grinning as he rushes back to his room, caffeine forgotten. “Did you just quote She’s the Man?” You yell after him but he doesn’t respond.

You spend the rest of your night switching between Jungkook’s Twitch stream and your hopelessly empty text messages.

Gentle hands pry you from sleep. You grumble, looking at Jungkook as he tries to peel the blankets away. Your new blackout curtains shade your room nicely, keeping it cool and dark. Your new haven where you’ve started to slink off to when you can’t stop wondering if you’ve done the right thing.

Another week has passed and you’ve failed to figure out something to say to Yoongi. You’re weary at the edges, eyes swollen and itchy from staying up so late, which is unusual for you.

Your phone is next to you, bringing back memories of why you stayed up so late – you were struggling with things to say, so you began building a playlist. A way to transcend language and speak your feelings without having to construct the words and the sentences.

“Come on, it’s noon.”

“Leave me,” you murmur. “I’m tired.”

Jungkook sighs. “Can you just come to have lunch with me and some water? Please?”

You let him guide you from your room. The house is cleaner than you remember it being. When you ask Jungkook, he admits he’s been picking up your slack. You pick at the crust of your pizza, avoiding his eyes because you know you haven’t been the best roommate.

Jungkook doesn’t push you for more responsibility. Doesn’t ask you not to leave dishes in the sink. He just lets you be, making sure that you’re fed and bringing you water when he can remember. It’s an unfamiliar dynamic, but he does an admirable job.

And he doesn’t try to encourage you to snap out of it. He has no tough love to give. No harsh words. There is only understanding, and occasionally asking if you’ve spoken to Seokjin. He never asks about Yoongi – either because he doesn’t have the heart to see you shake your head or because he’s afraid to bring him up.

The answer is always the same: not really. Seokjin will answer if you really press him, but otherwise, there are no more weekly phone calls. There are a couple of texts to check in to see if the other is alive, but for the last two weeks, you’re sailing uncharted seas with your brother, unsure how to steer the boat.

Your food is heavier in your stomach than you want it to be. Jungkook tries to sneak in another task by asking if you want to do groceries, but you put it off. He’s clever, though. Ren Facetimes at that exact moment and Jungkook smirks over his phone at you when he answers.

Carefully, you slide off the stool when Jungkook casually says, “Yeah, we were just finishing lunch. Here, keep her busy while I do dishes.”

You stare at him with a curled lip. He’s all grins as Jungkook hands you the phone against your will. It’s not that you don’t want to talk to Ren – you talk to her daily. But it’s another way to keep you from your room.

Jungkook – 2 You – 0

“Hi,” you greet quietly, gliding to the couch. “Your boyfriend fed me burnt pizza.”

“Listen,” Ren huffs. “If you want gourmet, you’re going to have to do it yourself. Until then, it’s burnt crust for you baby.”

You smile.

Catching up is easier than you thought it was going to be. By the time Jungkook is sitting next to you, leaning so that you’re both in the shot, you don’t feel like giving the phone up. A breath of ease washes over you as Jungkook grabs the phone, turning off facetime to add Jimin and Taehyung to the call.

No one brings up Yoongi, but it doesn’t feel like their tiptoeing. By the end of the call, you don’t want to sleep so much anymore, agreeing to go to the grocery store with Jungkook. As you slid your shoes on, you touch his elbow. “Hey.” He looks up at you, doe-eyes wide. “Thanks.”

He grins. “What are roomies for?”

The next week has good and bad days. There are some days isn’t doesn’t feel like anything is wrong. You have a lead on a fill-in for an influencer to stream the new agent and map play at work, and things are going smoothly. You’re not hiding in your room anymore, and Seokjin is answering a little more.

He even texted to ask if he could get access to the agent earlier than release. You put in a good word – which is really just heading to the development team and having them send the file over to him – and he thanks you.

It feels more normal than it has.

But today is a bad day. Your fill for Geko has another conflict and once again you’re left with a gaping hole in the plan for popular media influencers to showcase game play. On top of that, the strap on your favorite heel is broken at work.

Inconveniences aside, you know what’s really ruining your day.

You don’t dare to grab your phone and look at the last text you sent Yoongi, the one that went through green instead of blue. Somewhere you know you’re the perfect example of first-world problems: look at the girl freaking out because his texts are green now. Did he block her? Did he just not have service?

You don’t think it’s the latter. A few hours after the unanswered green text, you had followed up.

Me: Saved by Khalid

Me: Green, huh? You’re telling me you’re an Android user now?

Nothing. No response.

Your stomach flips at the thought of checking your phone again to see nothing there.

At the end of the day, you’ve checked your phone several times and there’s nothing. You want to vomit as you grab your things and head home. Your laptop and playbook are tucked in your bag, keeping your head down as you dodge through the rain coming down in the parking lot.

You curse when you get in your car, soaked and feeling sticky. You shiver when the AC comes on, jamming your finger to turn it off so quickly your finger bends awkwardly. You curse loudly and in one, quick breath of air – you scream on top of your lungs in the car. Eyes close, fists clenched, a single cathartic yell into the void.

For a second after, you just sit there panting. Slowing your breathing, you open your eyes and turn on the car, already starting to feel a little better after a good yell.

Rainy cityscape passes you by. Staring up at the shining buildings while you’re stopped at the light, a sudden memory flashes through you. What’s your favorite thing about your new city?

You remember your answer. There’s no pressure to be anyone.

Instead of going right home, you drive through the wet streets. The playlist you started curating is on. If you could give it to Yoongi, you think about what you might say. You’ve given each other so many mixtapes and playlists over the years that you think may you would just smile and he would get it.

Because it’s Yoongi. You don’t have to tell him the shape of your heart. He listens, and he knows.

Teary-eyed and frustrated, you wind up at your apartment. Your hair is damp as you shuffle the keys in your hand, letting yourself in.

“Jungkook, can you bring me a towel? I’m soaked and trailing water.”

You wait for your roommates response, but it’s not Jungkook who answers. “Where does he keep the towels?”

Your head snaps up. Seokjin leans on the wall, smirking with an eyebrow arched. “Jin?”

“Hiya.”

“What…?”

“Missed my sister. And honestly?” He shrugs. “Been thinking on some things and felt like I needed to have a conversation with her.”

You don’t think. You just run to him, his arms open as he catches you. You’re soaking his shirt, with both the rain-drenched close and the tears that you were holding back in the car. Seokjin is careful, brushing your hair as he tells you to hush, but he’s there and he’s your brother.

Your brother who loves you, who has come back around for you.

With a towel out of Jungkook’s room, Seokjin leads you to the kitchen where you sit on a stool. He leans on the counter, linking his hands and leveling a serious gaze with you. “I’m going to keep this quick, alright?” You frown, but nod. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and while I’m still pretty pissed the two of you lied to me, I think it would make me a fool and a liar to admit I didn’t see it the entire time.”

“What do you mean?”

“You and Yoongi have always vibed. He’s always cared about you in his own ways and you have good chemistry. There were times in college I thought he’d ask me to date you, but then he never did.” Seokjin shrugs. “I thought I was making it up.”

You let out air. “Wow.”

“Look – we all fucked up. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did, and I’ve been trying to figure out for three weeks how to put into words how sorry I am for how I treated you.”

“You’re sorry? Jin I –”

He holds up a hand and shakes his head. “No. I gave you an anxiety attack, embarrassed you because of my rage, and I said things that I didn’t mean.” Seokjin lowers his face so that he’s eye-level with you. “Being your brother is one of the best parts of my life. And I’m sorry that I made it sound like I resented sharing my life with you – my friends, my time.”

You’re crying now. You wipe your face with your shoulder, curling in on yourself as he pushes onward. “I was hurt and I didn’t know how to explain what I was feeling. I think I was insecure that Yoongi would trade me for you. I don’t know, you guys are a lot more alike. But I realized that my friendship with Yoongi and whatever he feels for you isn’t mutually exclusive.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” you sniffle. “He doesn’t want this – which is totally okay. I don’t blame him.”

“Well, that’s kind of weird.” You raise your brows at his playful tone. “Pretty expensive way for him to tell you he doesn’t like you if that’s true. I mean, who flies here to-”

“What?”

Seokjin pushes himself off the counter, coming around it and hugging you fiercely. You squirm in his arms, confused and trying to pry the truth from him. Seokjin kisses your head and heads toward the door. “I’m going to have dinner with Jungkook.”

“I’m so confused.”

“Left the expensive present in your room,” he adds, opening the door. “And hey? Seriously. I’m sorry and… I’m happy. I’m going to be happy. I want that for you too.”

Seokjin doesn’t say anything else before shutting the door.

Turning slowly, you look at the closed door of your bedroom. Sliding from the stool, you carefully cross over to it, one foot in front of the other. Your breaths are shaky when you reach the handle and turn it, only opening it enough that you can peek inside as if that will somehow lessen the blow if Seokjin is joking.

Your breath catches when you see Yoongi standing on the opposite side of the room. His arms are crossed over his chest, hands lost in the sleeves of his shirt. He’s in ripped jeans and a hat pulled low, staring up at the pictures on your wall.

Silver tears shine in your eyes when you step in the room, but he’s so focused on the photos that he doesn’t turn to you until you tentatively call, “Yoongi?”

He whips he’s head around. His dark eyes light up and he smiles, though it seems a bit wobbly and unsure. You don’t move from the doorway, watching him with your mouth slightly agape. “What are you doing here?”

“Well,” he starts. “I had a pretty long speech planned for you, but I think it’s sort of stupid now that I’m thinking about it. It included some things like I’m stupid for not talking you into dating me in the car on the way to the airport. I’m horrible for not telling you Wendy was onto what was going on and giving you a heads up. I’m an idiot for not just picking up the fucking phone and calling you-”

You don’t let him finish. You bolt across the room, because standing in front of you is… well it’s Yoongi.

Your arms slip around his middle and you squeeze your eyes shut, pressing your face so hard to his chest that you think you might shatter. He squeezes you back with equal strength, two equal forces pushing into one another. His lips are on your forehead, soft as they plant kisses along the crown of your hair.

“You’re not stupid,” you whisper, eyes still shut. You smell sandalwood and his chest rumbles with his laughter. “You’re here.”

“Yeah, Jin brought me. Jungkook’s idea, actually.”

“Really?” You look up at him. You’re unwilling to part, your head still pressed against his chest at an awkward angle. Yoongi looks down at you, cat eyes mystified, humming in confirmation. “That’s nice of him.”

“I hear you’ve been moping.”

“I thought you blocked me.”

“What? Why?”

“My texts when green this morning…”

He smirks. “Finally texted me, huh? I was on the plane.”

Your mouth makes an ‘o’ as he leads you toward your bed. He sits down, letting you straddle his lap. You cling to him, arms going around his neck and face buried in his shoulder. His arms circle your waist, holding you tight.

“What was the message?”

“Saved by Khalid.”

He hums and laughs. “Made me a mixtape?” You nod, closing your eyes and just enjoying the feel of him. “Sweet girl,” he hums. “I made you one too?”

You pull away to look down at him. Your hands rest on either side of his shoulder. He’s glowing, a gummy smile on his face as his eyes flicker from your eyes to your mouth, as though he can’t decide where he wants to look longer. “Really?”

“Yeah. Didn’t know what to say. Thought maybe…”

“The music could do it for you?” He nods. “Me too.”

“I missed you,” he admits. “Often. Painfully. Shamefully. Should’ve turned the car around and made Jin talk, all three of us like adults. I was so afraid of pushing too hard and ruining it though.”

“Me too,” you admit. Your hands thread the long hair at the nape of his neck. “What now?”

He shrugs. “Whatever you want. I’ve always been here to give you what you want, whatever you need.” He squeezes your hips. “I’ve always been yours – for years, even though I didn’t know it. So if you’ll have me officially…”

“Are you asking me out on a date?” You whisper, heart pounding in your ears.

He grins up at you. “Something like that.”

“Kiss me,” you demand.

“Absolutely.”

Yoongi tastes familiar. He’s warm and you light up inside as his soft mouth presses against yours, sure and confident. His lips are everything as they pry your mouth open, his tongue brushing yours.

Your fingers dig into the hair at the back of his neck, your legs squeezing his waist as you kiss him with everything you have.

Yoongi sucks your tongue into his mouth the way he knows you like and you moan without having to be quiet for once. He pulls away, spit slick on berry lips, eyes blinking in a haze. “You are remarkable,” he murmurs, hands rubbing up and down your side. You chase his mouth with yours but he escapes, laughing when you whine. “I will not go another two years without you. I won’t go another fucking second.”

“Then stop stopping kissing me!”

“That makes no sense.”

“You make no sense, Min Yoongi.”

His smile is beatific. “On that, we can agree.”

Yoongi kisses you again. He lets the pair of you fall backwards, his hands slipping under your blouse, palms spreading on your back. You giggle, hips rolling lightly, like the way he hisses when you grind down into him.

His hat knocks off of his head, your fingers pulling at his hair. When you open your eyes and break the kiss for air, you make a surprised noise and sit up, straddling his waist. Yoongi looks at you with his bottom lip trapped between his teeth, his hands settled on your hips under your shirt.

“Your hair is black!”

He gives you his sideways smirk. “Like it?”

“You’re so fucking hot,” you blurt.

He laughs loudly, fingers gripping your hips. He rolls his hips up, catching you with his half-erection and making you moan deep in your throat.

“Yeah?” he asks, voice low. “Wanna run your fingers through it while I eat you out?”

“Fuck,” you blurt, loud.

Your world spins as he rolls you over. Yoongi’s mouth is sucking marks onto your neck – hard His tongue is quick to follow, brushing over and soothing the ache as he maps out his want on your neck, your collar bones. His hands brush over your clothed breasts, squeezing.

“Don’t have to be quiet now,” Yoongi pants, kissing you again. You pull at the hem of his shirt. You want it off. “Been dying to eat this pussy for weeks. Wanna hear you this time.”

“Please,” the shirt is stuck under his arms, Yoongi is too distracted to let you take it off.

You growl at him. “Take this fucking shirt off.”

His chuckle is like gravel. He leans up, taking his shirt off and tossing it. You don’t wait for him to come back down to you, greedy hands pulling at his belt loops, mouth meeting his stomach, his chest. You nip his flesh, looking up at him through hooded eyes. His head is tipped back, eyes fluttering as you litter his soft skin with bruises.

Yoongi lets you have fun. You taste the sweetness of him, flicking a tongue over a nipple when he pulls you back by the hair, crashing your mouths together. Yoongi pins you down again, nearly shredding your shirt as he tears through the buttons, tossing it.

The room is stifling as you press against one another, driven by the space weeks apart created. You feel high, whining into him as he pulls your pants down, hands going right for the prize. Yoongi plays with your wet folds, fingers deft and attentive. It sparks pleasure deep in your stomach, twisting.

“Fuck,” you whisper. He’s nibbling your ear, your pebbled nipples pressing against his chest, creating friction. You’re vibrating all over, every touch magnified by the sounds he lets out. “Feels good.”

His fingers pull your panties to the side, brushing up and down your slit softly. “Mmm, wet just the way I like it.”

Yoongi’s hand vanishes and he gets up. You pout. He brings slick-soaked fingers to his lips, deliberately making eye contact as he grins and slides them into his mouth, pink tongue slowly tracing the tips. “As sweet as I remember.”

He peels your underwear off, dropping them to the floor. Yoongi doesn’t lavish your thighs this time – he has time to do that. You feel it in the way his hands go under your legs, pulling them over his shoulder – he’ll take his time later.

Right now, he just wants you.

You gasp when his tongue traces your aching hole. Your hands shoot to his hair, silky soft as you hold him there. He hums, lazily dipping his tongue in to gather your juices. It feels so fucking good. He zigzags his tongue up your pussy, following the same circular motion around your clit before wrapping his lips around it, sucking hard.

“Oh fuck yeah,” you gasp, not caring that your voice carries up to the ceiling. “Fuck your mouth-”

He hums, enjoying the sounds he draws from you as he alternates between sucking at your clit and licking your hole. He eats you out vigorously, determined to cover every inch of your dripping pussy with his mouth. He’s noisy, humming and moaning with satisfaction as he sucks at you, wetness dripping down his chin.

“Missed you in my mouth,” he pants, looking up at you with fucked out eyes. You’re hypnotized, watching as you cradle his head between your legs. He grins, working his tongue between his teeth on your clit, making you kick your legs. “Such a pretty fucking girl, squirming under my tongue.”

Yoongi latches his mouth on your clit, sucking hard. You cum suddenly with no warning and a scream, lurching forward. He pins you down, sucking harder and sending you into a blinding frenzy. You can’t stay still, screaming his name until he relents, mouth kissing up your thighs as you pant, heart thundering through your entire body.

You can feel your pulse as you gulp for air, going boneless as he kisses up your stomach, circling your belly button before reaching your breasts. You whine when he licks lazy patterns around your nipples, using his teeth to pull at them.

“Yoongiiiii.”

He nips your soft flesh. “Hmmm?”

“Sensitive.”

“Good,” he mumbles, kissing you on the mouth. You lick into him eagerly and he smiles into the kiss, working his pants off. “Gonna let me split you open?”

“Please.”

He kisses you, shuffling you up the bed. You pry your legs open for him, wet and eager. He sees how pliant you are for him, eyes rolling back into his head as he takes a breath, trying to gain his composure. You don’t let him, raising your hand to your mouth and spitting in it generously before reaching between your legs and wrapping your hand around him.

“Fuuuck baby.”

You grin as he shivers. You pump him leisurely, spreading your spit up and down his velvety shaft. You love how heavy his cock is in your hand, watering at the way it twitches in your palm. You rub the head of his cock against your pussy, both of you groaning.

“Want you,” you pant, pressing the tip into your hole. He lets you take the lead. “Missed your cock so much.”

“Just my cock?” he teases.

“Shut up.”

Yoongi gets you back. Before you can slide him in, he jerks his hips forward, plunging in and hitting your g-spot on the first stroke. You go wild, thrashing beneath him as he grins, pulling all the way out and repeating the motion.

“Oh my fuck.” You’re grabbing at his back, nails digging in. You try to find purchase on anything, searching for something to ground you as he fucks into you hard and fast, his precision dead on. “Fuck – I’m gonna come again.”

“Yeah?” he demands. “Already?”

You nod, eyes squeezed shut. It spurs him on. He grabs your hips, planting you firmly on the bed. Your hands grip his wrists as you begin to breath faster and faster, nearly sending yourself into hyperventilation as you hold your breath, the coil in your stomach shooting toward the sky and shattering the clouds.

It happens fast – you come around Yoongi, nearly going numb as you clench on him. You’re vaguely aware that he’s cursing, pausing his thrusts as you squeeze, pussy unrelenting. You collapse onto the bed after, barely able to gulp down air. He’s slow to thrust again, watching you with his mouth open, wonder on his face.

“I don’t think I’ve ever come that hard,” you rasp, voice raw.

He noses you. “That was fucking hot.” He pulls out of you and you furrow your brow when he flips you over. You shiver as he props your ass up in the air and spreas your thighs apart. “You’re going to do it again.”

Fuck. You have no idea if you can. But when he slides back into you, the stretch glorious and his pace slow, you think Yoongi can coax whatever he wants out of you. He’s always been able to. From the moment he made you tell him your name, or made you play piano for him, Yoongi has been able to get you to do what he wants.

Because you’ve always been his. Even when you were in different orbits or on other pages, you were bound to come back to him.

With the realization that you were built for him, you find the energy to fuck yourself back on him. He makes an appreciative noise, strokes deep and slow. He grabs at your ass, gripping tight as your skin smacks wetly together, your cum staining the places your skin meets.

You don’t think. It’s just Yoongi, the sounds he makes, and the way he makes you feel. The way his tip brushes that sweet spot in you, making your head hang between your arms as you work his cock.

Yoongi sneaks a hand around your waist, finger gently pressing on your clit.

“I don’t know if I can,” you beg. Yoongi is gentle, finger applying the barest pressure. You feel your stomach curl and you curse, tears streaming from your eyes. “Oh my god.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“My sweet girl,” he grunts, fucking into you harder. Your orgasm is slowly building and with the way his hips start to stutter, you know he’s close. “Together, yeah?”

You nod your head. Words are beyond you and you can only focus on the steady rhythm of his fingers on your pulsing clit and the deep slide of his cock.

Yoongi manages to do it again – he draws a gentle orgasm from you, long and soft as you drop down on the bed, ass pressed to his pelvis as he holds onto you with a bone-bruising grip. He moans your name, holding you to him as he comes, gasping for air.

Hours or minutes pass by. You’re not sure. There’s just soft bliss and the heat and tangle of blankets.

Yoongi pulls out of you, cum oozing down your legs. Stumbling and a little unsteady on his legs, he trails to your bathroom, knocking into the door. You barely manage a laugh, eyes shut as you drift a bit.

You flinch when you feel a warm washcloth on you, gentle as he wipes your legs, your battered pussy. You whine when he brushes the rag against your clit and he laughs with a soft apology. When he’s gone, your hand stretches on the mattress, seeking his warmth. It finds him on his return, slipping into the bed and seeking the warmth of your side.

Eyes fluttering open, you look at him in the dim light of the room. He is flushed pink and smiling your favorite gummy smile. You brush sweaty strands of hair from his eyes, fingers resting on his cheeks.

“I’m very happy that you came for me,” you whisper. “I missed you.”

“Missed you so much I made a ten track Mixtape.”

“Let’s listen.”

“You have a CD player?”

“You’re joking?” You crack your eyes open at him again and see him smiling shyly. “You burned me a CD?”

“I was feeling sentimental,” he defends. “I even wrote the tracks on it in sharpie like I used to.”

Your fingers brush his swollen, pouted lips. “What was the first song.”

His grin grows. “Saved by Khalid.”

Yoongi adjusts the headset on his head. The lights and soft background are perfect as Jungkook helps him click on a few settings in OBS. Jungkook gestures to the ‘go-live’ button before he steps out of the frame, walking around the other side of the row of setups where you’re watching.

The inside of the facilities is beautiful. He’s never been to your job, but he’s impressed with the setup and the way you command the room. Though Jungkook is there to help Yoongi with the streaming basics, something Yoongi is mostly unfamiliar with in the gaming world, you’re there for the materials.

You’ve perfectly placed his awards behind him. You’ve given him the chair with the company logo. The headphones of one of their partners. You’ve helped him construct the tweets, the teases in preparation of a long stream to debut the new agent and maps for your company’s came in conjunction with a new single.

It’s well thought. It’s a good partnership. But most importantly? Yoongi sees the way you lift your chin a little higher and push your shoulders a little straighter with pride when they commend you on the partnership.

And Seokjin is there. He’s happy and smiling, clapping Yoongi on the back and bragging that his sister is way cooler than he is. And Yoongi is so inclined to agree. Especially when you whoop his ass in the test rounds before the stream.

God he wants to fuck you stupid. But he can do that later. He has all of the time with you in the world. He doesn’t have to waste a single minute worrying he has to sneak in moments with you, that he has to hide behind doors.

“You ready, Jin?” Yoongi asks, looking at your brother. He’s on a setup much nicer than anything he’s ever had – and he’s made sure to tell you multiple times you should give him one – but he nods. You have no idea how he convinced you to get you to let him in on this. “Alright, let’s do this.”

Yoongi hits the live button. The window changes, immediately flooding the chat with viewers as he grins at the camera. “Hi guys,” he says awkwardly. His eyes glance up at you over the screen and you give him a shy smile. His heart flutters. “Welcome to today’s stream. I’m Agust D and today we’re trying how the highly anticipated new map and agent with my friend Jin. Let’s get it.”

“Yah – why is your username Mixtape?” Seokjin demands, clicking through the menu.

Yoongi’s eyes meet your sparkling ones over the monitor. “A joke between me and a close friend.”

“Alright, Mixtape it is.”

Yoongi smiles. “Mixtape it is.”

Previous Chapter | Extra Chapter

#min yoongi smut #min yoongi fanfic #suga bts #suga smut #bts suga #min yoongi #bangtan boys #bts smut #bts fanfic #suga fanfic #yoongi x reader #non idol au #haliiimedemasterlist #minors dni #minors do not interact

488 notes · View notes

mayxthexforce · 4 months

Note

⭐️ ― convincing portrayal of a canon character

💻 ― excellent writing

🌼 ― creative headcanons

🎙️ ― great to talk to

📚 ― nice threads to read

🎀 ― all-around kind person

🥇 ― well-developed oc

😍 ― admiring from afar

📌 ― a staple on the dash

🏆 ― 10/10 blog, would recommend

🧡 ― sender's choice ( sender can add whatever category they want ) - MICA I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU ❤️ you're the best mwah thanks for being such an awesome and cool friend ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ having you in my life has been PHENOMENAL!!! Thanks tons for the awesome joyride

💜 ― receiver's choice ( simply shout out whoever

🐝 * ― 𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑻-𝑶𝑼𝑻𝑺 𝑶𝑭 𝑨𝑾𝑬𝑺𝑶𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑬𝑺𝑺.

*-cracks knuckles-* alright, let's do this!

⭐️ ― convincing portrayal of a canon character

Shout-out goes to @prodijedi. I love Callie's Dooku, he has so much depth and layers and cares so much about the people he loves deep down but is too deep in the mess he made and doesn't know how to show it, but Callie doesn't erase the fact that he has done terrible things.

💻 ― excellent writing

Shouting at @tacticalvalor for this one. So far, I've only interacted with Paz but I love him, and I love how well he's written. Jay has a way of making Paz so expressive despite the fact he's covered head to toe in armor and -understandably- unwilling to take it off. His inner thoughts are always a delight to read and the things he says always manage to crack me up.

🌼 ― creative headcanons

I think there isn't a single person in this fandom that's not creative when it comes to headcanons because we're all pretty big brained with them. But if I have to name just one, I'm gonna go with @thrawnur I LOVE YOUR HEADCANONS PJ! And I love the HCs and worldbuilding we've worked on together for Chiss. Our blueberries deserve more lore!!

🎙️ ― great to talk to

Shout-out to @corruptedforce/@crowsandmurder because Tanya is that one person you can always count on to be up to talk about literally anything. Everything I know about baseball, I learned from her. I also always love yelling with her about the stupid Star Wars questions people ask on Quora (still not over the person who had the audacity to ask why Obi-Wan didn't just kill Anakin, I'm outside their house with a baseball bat).

📚 ― nice threads to read

To this day, I still go into @d4gangera's blog just to read the stuff KT writes, and not just the threads I'm in, but everything she writes. I love how she writes Dagan, his inner monologues, his trauma after spending decades in bacta, his issues with the Jedi Order and the Empire and this new era he got yeeted into. I love it all.

🎀 ― all-around kind person

@vendettavalor IS THE KINDEST BEAN EVER!! I'm still absorbing all the analogical horror stuff that you recommended me and you bet I'm going to be yelling in your DMs once I'm caught up.

🥇 ― well-developed oc

Shout-out to @gwiazdowe for Cirz. HE'S BABEY!! I love him and how kind he is and how he sees good in people that nobody else would see good in. But he's not dumb. He's a smart boy and he deserved the world, I'm protecting him at all costs.

😍 ― admiring from afar

Not really from that far because we've actually talked but I have yet to start a thread with @alootus and that is a crime I should be in jail for. But I'm admiring because the blog theme is just so PRETTY, I love the color palette and the graphics.

📌 ― a staple on the dash

I love seeing @kylo-wrecked's posts on the dash. From the aesthetic stuff to replies to answers to ask memes, it's always god tier content!

🏆 ― 10/10 blog, would recommend

@ofthestcrs AMAZING MUN, AMAZING CHARACTERS, AMAZING BLOG! Gee is one of the first people I interacted with in this fandom and honestly, I'm holding on like an orphaned monkey. 10/10 will not be letting go anytime soon.

💜 ― receiver's choice ( simply shout out whoever you want )

#WELP this one got long #||out of character||#||answered ask||#vanillahub #ALSO VANIIIII YOU'RE SO SWEET 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂#||positivity||

18 notes · View notes

checkoutmybookshelf · 8 months

Text

Past Artemis and Present Artemis Are Not Allowed in the Same Room

If Number 1 kind of nudged the door open to time travel and wibbly wobbly timey wimey shenanagins in Lost Colony, then Artemis full-on kicked it down and yeeted a grenade through it in this book. Let's talk Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox.

As per usual, SPOILERS ABOUND below the break.

There are a ton of things about this book that are amazing and in order to stay at least a little organized, we're gonna use HEADINGS this time around! That's not to say the headings are in any particular order, but life has been lifeing and I need a little help making sure I gush about everything I want to here. Because while Eoin Colfer introduced time travel in the last book, this one is a whole TIME PARADOX PLOT!

Opal Koboi, Empress of our Hearts

So, there are places for nuanced, complex, morally gray villains who have carefully throught-through ethoses and who are compelling because of their tragedy. Those kinds of villains are great.

Opal Koboi is not that kind of villain.

Opal Koboi is a villain in the classic Disney sense. She is absolutely unhinged, wants nothing more than to be Empress of the Goddamn World, and absolutely revels in setting things on fire just to watch them burn. She is rock-solid on her own worth, she is terrifyingly intelligent, and she is equally fun when she is strutting around in her own success as when she is pitching a dramatical cats tantrum because somebody said "ethics" in her presence. Our girl is sheer fun from start to finish, and honestly I love how consistent she is.

In this book, we see Opal before the events of The Arctic Incident, and it's great to know that she has ALWAYS been unhinged and glorious. If anything, this book shows us that the plan to use the B'wa Kell to take over Haven was weirdly vanilla for Opal. Sucking the bodily fluids out of endangered animals to basically Captain America super serum herself is...way more on brand.

The bit where she is too narcissistic and paranoid to stay in character as Angeline Fowl for more than like 60 seconds once Jay Jay is in the room is also AMAZING. Talk about getting in your own way...

Artemis vs. Artemis

So sometimes as a series gets increasingly lengthy, it's good to remind readers and character how much your protagonists have grown. Eoin Colfer decided that time travel was a great way to take advantage of this, and reveled in it by giving readers 10-year-old Artemis's opinion of 18-year-old Artemis and vice versa for the entire book, and it is SO FUN. They both hate each other, and understandably so. They both also have qualities that the other begrudgingly respects, and ultimately they need BOTH Artemises to resolve the plot.

We also get some really lovely instances of Artemis outsmarting and bamboozling himself. This conceit had every chance of coming off as cringe as hell, but Colfer handed it with enough humor and humanity to make it feel real rather than like a whole book devoted to a vanity plot centered on Artemis thinking he's the best thig since sliced bread.

Artemis...That was WILDLY Uncool to do to Holly

Ok, so Artemis has grown a lot over the course of five books. He's matured. He's learned how to be a reluctant antihero. He and Holly are legit friends. Which somehow manages to make it EVEN WORSE when Artemis full-on knowingly tricks Holly into thinking that she not only gave his mother a fatal illness but also started a plague that at one point killed 20% of the fairy population in three years. There's honestly no coming back from that kind of breach of trust.

And no, giving Holly a chance to say goodbye to Commander Root does NOT make Holly and Artemis square. It nicely ties up a loose emotional thread, but it does NOT square the emotional devastation of infecting a friend's mother and starting the plague 2.0. That is possibly the least believable relationship dynamic in a book where Artemis and Holly KISS (no, we're not gonna talk about it, they were both under the influence of the time stream and it doesn't count).

The truly wild thing about this is that Artemis before the fairies was a cold-hearted little bastard capable of incredible cruelty, but once Artemis understands feelings and emotional relationships, he's suddenly capable of hurting people WAY MORE than he could when he was a tiny robotic human. And of course the person he takes aim at is HOLLY SHORT. Like, FFS, Artemis. You did less damage when you had the emotional intelligence of a gold ingot...

Butler

Domovoi Butler is too good for this world and we do not deserve him. Artemis sure as hell does not deserve him, past OR present. Past Butler full on calls 10-year-old Artemis out on the act that he is *checks notes* handing over the last of a species to a group of fanatics to be horribly murdered in a kangaroo court, fully sells a sentient elf to those same fanatics, does not emotionally let Artemis off the hook when he is experiencing guilt and shame over being an accessory to murder and extinction, and TURNS THE PLANE AROUND to go save Holly and 18-year-old Artemis from the extinctionists. And thats just past Butler.

Present Butler is such a goddamn badass that he resists a juiced-up Opal Koboi's mesmer so hard that he gives himself a heart attack. Not even Opal Koboi can pull a 180 on Butler's moral compass, and even when he can't fully fight her off, he can resist in little ways, like sticking breathing tubes in barrels. Someone let this man retire happily, he has MORE THAN earned it at this point.

Baby's First Ecocritical Text

Environmentalism and ecocriticism have been very present as secondary themes in the Artemis Fowl series from the very first book, but this is, I believe, the first book where this theme gets really explicit and has real, concrete plot consequences and implications. The "hunting animals to extinction is bad for [list of reasons]" isn't the deepest or most nuanced version of the argument, but it doesn't have to be. The audience for these books are middle graders and YA readers. They get a concrete introduction to ecocriticism and some very comprehensible examples of the consequences of extinction and pollution, and that's going to be enough for more of them than you'd think to keep thinking and reading about the issue.

I highlight this because so few middle grade and YA books do ecocriticism at all, let alone this clearly and concisely. I suspect we will see more of this as climate change keep wreaking absolute havoc on quite literally everything, but these books did it before it was cool, and I really appreciate that about them.

Overall, this book is not my favorite of the series. Time travel can be a hard sell, even if you weave the complexities of time travel around a relatively simple fetch quest. As per usual though, the character work is never not entertaining, and I do enjoy rereading this one periodically.

#eoin colfer #artemis fowl #artemis fowl the time paradox #the time paradox #time travel #holly short #domovoi butler #opal koboi #middle grade sci fi #middle grade fantasy #middle grade books #middle grade fiction #books & libraries #books and reading #books and novels #books #book recommendations

25 notes · View notes

khaleesiofalicante · 2 months

Note

oh my god

Oh My God

OH MY GOD

This chapter was a ✨masterpiece✨

It was ✨art✨

The tension, the drama, the reveals ✨chefs kiss✨

Magnus Bane, the leader of the Warlock Council ✨legendary and phenomenal ✨. All hail our Lord and Saviour.

All chapters should be like this. I don't need therapy after reading them. Honestly, I am in awe of your writing skills. The planning you have done, oh my god. Dani, I would marry this piece of work, if I could.

The apocalyptic universe. I got chills reading about it. The way you managed to portray the eeriness of that universe is truly so amazing. Like, you can't help but feel chills when you read about it. The visualization was amazing. Then, I don't know if its just me, but the way you can feel that in that universe, there are so less people. It feels so desolate. You can feel it. When I'm reading stuff, there is a kind of color which is associated with that universe. This universe was black to me. Lbaf has been red at times,sometimes dark blue, but never black. Right now, it feels grey but the future universe is black. Almost obsidian. Everyone's desperation can be felt. Like you portrayed it so well. Max feels so similar yet so different at the same time. You can understand from the way he thinks that the past 700 years have weighed down on him. Magnus has also changed. I can't help but feel it's so cruel, the warlock's fate. Everyone else just died. The nephilim I mean. But the Warlocks have to keep living in that universe, deal with the aftermaths. Also, since it's been 700 years and Magnus was already 400, then that means he is more than a thousand years old.And now he has suffered so much, lost his best friends too. Magnus, in my interpretation of him, at least, has never been one who has a "we do what we need to do" mindset. To me, he's more lf a "do what's right" But now he's a leader and he has that entire thing to do what needs to be done. It's a bit scary.

Sorry for ranting so much. I just have so many thoughts about this chapter. In case in wasn't clear, I'm in love. I might be back later to spill more thoughts.

Keep writing such masterpieces.

Much Love💙

Thank you so much, bebe. All the glitter made me feel very warm and I had a very busy day (the irony of overworking women to celebrate women's day lmao) so this made my day 💙

I'm so glad that you picked up exactly what I put down. It was exactly the vibe I was going for and it was definitely interesting to write. I think in any post-apocalyptic world there are stages of existence (liek 5 stages of grief almost) and i think, if i may so, OM and the others are currently at the bargaining stage - so it's despair mixed with hope. they are literally clinging to it because they know there is no fixing this. We literally only saw his world for a few hours. but there is SO MUCH depth there.

Which is why i wanted to write the Diary of Other Max. I wanted to explore the Warlock Academy, Max meeting Story, the first person he killed, Max coming back to find the apartment gone, his first time portal and JUST EVERYTHING AH.

Your analysis of Other Magnus is quite on point. He is definitely a leader of circumstance unlike Rafael and Alec - who were groomed for it and genuinely wanted it. So, you can see that it's weighing on him and Magnus is as desperate as everyone else. I do think Ragnor was a big influence in Magnus taking up the position (Hermes must have def done some guilt tripping there hehe)

Thank you for the love x

#lbaf

7 notes · View notes

girlwithwolftatoo · 2 years

Note

Could you write a Drabble maybe about the reader trying to surprise Jake by learning a few phrases in Spanish but she gets all flustered when he tries to woo her and she can’t understand all of what he’s saying?

I had a lot of fun writting this one, honestly.

Me encanta que me llames señorita

Pairing: Jake Lockley/F!Reader

Words: 924

Warnings: none

You loved all three of them. It was impossible not to, not only because, at the end of the day, you had the strange privilege of embracing the same body but different souls, but because each one had something special to share with you, something unique that never ceased to amaze you. But then there was Jake, the most peculiar among the three, the New Moon who took you down paths you never imagined you would travel.

Jake was a roller coaster, it had already become normal for you that, when he took possession of the body, he returned from his night hunts covered in blood (more alien than his own) and with some "treasures" that he snatched from his missions as if cohabiting with Khonshu gave him habits of a greedy crow.

"Look what I found" he would say, showing you some object of value or, sometimes, some curious thing "How much do you think it's worth?"

"Jake, I understand that you have to crack their skulls, but is it necessary to rob them too?"

"It's not like they're going to need it, bonita" he replied simply, twirling the thick gold chain "I say I'll get at least two hundred pounds, se ve cara"

"I beg your pardon?"

"I say it looks expensive" Jake turned his neck in your direction, and a wide grin played across his bloodied lips "Qué enfermera más guapa tengo esta noche."

You laughed, you managed to catch a few stray words and knew perfectly when Jake was looking to flatter you. You were fascinated when he spoke Spanish in front of you, especially when he used some tender nickname for you. Bonita and muñequita were the most common, but there were also others: mi corazón, princesa and of course, señorita.

Because of the latter, Jake had that song as a ringtone for your number on his cell phone. He never missed a single call from you no matter what he was doing.

I love it when you call me señorita, I'd wish I could pretend I didn't need ya....

"¡Quieto!" Jake knocked his opponent out and pulled the cell phone out of its holster, a very special one so it would withstand all kinds of blows "Hey, bonita, what's up?" Another man, armed with a stilson wrench, jumped on him, but Jake was quicker and plunged his prized half-moon dumbbell right between his ribs "Sausage? Yeah, why not?" He stomped on the guy, who was doubled over in pain, and then elbowed him in the jaw, sending him reeling before he fell unconscious "Sure, I love your lasagna, I hope those par de cabrones aren't going to interrupt our meal again."

Jake didn't usually occupy the body for more than two or three days at a time a month, and yet recently he would suddenly appear to join you for more mundane things like grocery shopping or going for a walk. You felt it was like starting a relationship, with all the nerves and fantasies involved, and you wanted more than anything to surprise him with something special, something that not just anyone could give him.

One of those afternoons, Jake came back with an errand for you, and showed up at the apartment carrying a paper bag of wine. The atmosphere smelled delicious, you took great care in what would probably be the last meal you would share with him for a month.

"(Y/N), I'm home" he crooned, peeking into the small kitchen "What did you prepare? It smells so good."

Your head peeked out from behind the screen you used to dress yourself when Steven was present. Even though he was the one you had been living with the longest, he still sought to respect a little of your privacy and got that nice screen (with a design reminiscent of the Nile, of course) so as not to make you uncomfortable.

"Hola" you greeted with a broad smile "Hoy cocino sopa gallega de cebolla y lomo de bife."

Your pronunciation was still weak, but Jake raised his eyebrows. He had never heard you say anything in Spanish. You stepped out from behind the bulkhead, you had changed into a tight, casual dress, the kind the limo driver liked, and you noticed his eyes wander from your face to your body.

"¿Te gusta?" you asked, turning around so he could see that most of your back was bare "Yo compré este vestido pensando en ti."

Jake bit his lip as his gaze wandered unabashedly down your cleavage. He walked towards you, reaching out to trap your waist between his arms and bowed his head.

"Tú siempre estás preciosa, mi amor, me encanta cuando te arreglas para mí."

You reached out an arm to cup his cheek in your hand.

"Eres mi guapo chico."

Jake laughed.

"Chico guapo" he corrected you gently.

"Oh, sorry... chico guapo."

Jake deposited a kiss on your temple, then descended to your ear and whispered:

"¿Te gustaría que te enseñe a usar mi lengua?"

"Excuse me?" you asked, a little confused. Jake laughed again, it secretly amused him to tell you things that could be misunderstood in his language.

"I mean if you want, I can teach you some things later" he repeated, with a mischievous grin. His hands spun you around to face him, and you took the opportunity to throw your arms around his neck.

"Muchas gracias, Jake."

He took one of your hands, with a devoted expression, and kissed it before saying:"No... Thank you for existing, mi amor."

#moon knight fanfiction #moon knight series #moon knight #jake lockley #jake lockley x reader #jake lockley x fem!reader #jake lockley fanfiction #jake lockley is a latin lover and you like it

161 notes · View notes

musings-of-a-rose · 2 years

Note

Omg omg omgggg! Anon here who asked for ‘I’m Really into You’ - that was amazing and exactly what I was thinking of… it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside 🥰 as for your note, I would love to read a second part with some smut, the setup for it was absolutely amazing. Thank you so much, this is the first time I’ve requested something and it was way better than I could have imagined!

I'm Really Into You - Part 2

Pairing: Benny Miller x f!plus size reader

Word Count: 2500+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story.

Notes: I never anticipated the immediate response part one of this would receive. Y’all had such kind words, seriously some of the best comments I’ve ever gotten on anything. And the overwhelming response was for a part 2 so here it is! I never need an excuse to write for this man (I am his whore). I'm sorry it took me a minute to get to it!

Part 1 - I’m Really Into You

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

Main Masterlist

Benny Miller Masterlist

Benny texts me the next day, confirming out date and telling me to dress casually. Well he said “casually sexy” but my cofidence isn’t the best so he gets what he gets.

An arcade. An arcade with bowling. Have I mentioned how much I like this guy?

We play games first, Benny always having his hand on me in some way, whether it’s my lower back as he gently guides me through the crowd, touching my arm when he laughs, our legs touching in the racing games, or just holding my hand while we walk around.

At the skeeball lanes, something else happens.

I’m not the best at skeeball but I’m not terrible. Benny on the other hand, he has a magical arm. With a graceful flick of his wrist, I swear those balls sink into the highest score tube every. Single. Time. He watches me as I try to roll my ball up the lane, huffing when it bounces off the side.

“Lemme help you?” He asks. Asks. Not tells.

“Sure. You seem to have a magical touch.”

His voice drops as he moves to stand behind me and he breathes in my ear. “Now that I do.”

Son of a bitch.

He stands flush against my back, his arms melding to mine as he holds the back of my hand, helping me to grip the ball. Honestly I’m not sure what he says because there’s just fan noises going off in my head, the scent of him overpowering that of the arcade. I feel the heat of his body and when he pulls my arm back to guide me in releasing the ball, I bend over and I hear him groan slightly as my hips push back into his. And when I sink the ball more towards the middle, I stand straighter and definitely feel the cause of his grunt against me.

This asshole is amazing at bowling too. He uses both hands, not even staying to watch the ball effortlessly knock down all of the pins, Benny’s finger tapping the air the second the ball makes impact behind his back. No wonder he’s good at skeeball.

This time, when he stands behind me to show me some bowling tips, I decide to tease him a bit and push my hips back into his, grinding slightly. I feel his breathe puff out on my neck and he shifts his weight to be closer to me.

“Be a good girl, Poppy.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

I miss all the pins.

Situating myself back against him, I push my hips back again, smirking at the grunt he lets out.

“Keep that up and we’re gonna have to cut this game short.”

“Oh darn.”

I hit 1 pin.

I move to stand in front of him again, but before I can push my hips back, he tips my chin backwards towards him, his lips brushing across mine.

“One last ball and then we have to leave because I may get kicked out for being indecent around families.”

I chuckle, nodding because I’d forgotten words. Benny steps back and I release the ball, managing to knock down a few more pins. When I turn around, Benny’s eyes snap up to mine.

“Were you checking me out?” I ask, surprised.

He takes 2 steps, closing the distance between us. His bright blue eys are dark and he pulls me to him by my hips.

“How could I not? You’re fuckin’ gorgeous.”

He kisses me, deepening it only slightly before pulling back.

“Ok, I’m done with bowling. Take me home, please.”

He chuckles at my response and nods. “Yes, ma’am.”

—-

He finds a space and parks, angling his body towards me.

“I had a great time-”

“Do you want to come upstairs?”

We both speak at the same time, chuckling at the end of our rushed sentences.

“I mean, I had a great time too, Benny. R-really.” Fuck, I’m so nervous. He’s so hot and I’m just…me.

“Do you want me to?”

“I-what?”

“What you asked.”

Fuck yes.

“I-I do. Only if you want to? It’s ok if you don’t-”

He reaches across the console and pulls my face to his, immediately pushing his tongue inside my mouth, sliding it across my bottom teeth. Fuck he’s a good kisser, letting out little whimpers and moans as he does. He pulls back, tugging slightly on my lower lip as I follow him.

“Fuck,” I let that slip accidentally, and I only know I said it out loud because he chuckles.

“Only because you’ve been a good girl.”

I am in unknown territory. I’ve never really been desired by anyone and so have no clue how to respond besides a mumbled incoherent sound. He gets out of his jeep and walks around, holding the door open for me as I climb out. He closes the door and then pushes me against it, slotting his long leg between mine and pulling my head to his, kissing me deeply again. My hands fist in his shirt, unsure of what to do with them. His hands start to travel down to my sides and I flinch, my insecurity flaring to life.

“Poppy? Did I hurt you?”

“N-no. I’m..I’m ok.”

I kiss him and he hesitates briefly before responding, his hands going back to my sides. I flinch again, unable to stop myself and he stops.

“Am I doin’ somethin’ wrong?”

No. you’re fucking perfect.

“No. You’re fine, it’s…it’s me.”

He waits patiently, giving me time to think on what to say, if I want to say. I sigh, looking down.

“I know I’m not the most…fit person. And I’ve been bullied almost my whole life for it. I just…it’s just…” Tears start to well in my eyes and I wipe at them furiously, willing them to stop.

Benny puts his finger under my chin and tilts my head up.

“I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, Poppy. Can I show you?”

I nod and he wipes a tear from my face with his thumb.

“I need to hear you say it, sweetheart.”

“Y-yes.”

He pushes his hips to mine, my ass hitting the side of his jeep as he pulls up one of my legs and hitches it on his hip. He pushes closer to me somehow, his nose touching mine as he breathes heavily and I feel him through his jeans, hard and desperate as he very slightly grinds against my clothed cunt. He grabs my wrists and pins them on either side of my head as he leans in and kisses some spot on my neck that has me whimpering his name.

“We better go somewhere more private if you’d like before I take you against my jeep. Fuck you turn me on so much.”

“Yes please.”

He backs off of me and groans, holding my hand as we walk to my apartment. The second I close the door he’s on me, kissing, touching, nipping, and I can barely catch my breath, dropping my keys on the floor as he starts walking me towards the hall. He breaks the kiss only once to confirm consent, which I frantically give, and to ask which door is the bedroom. I tell him and he resumes kissing me, this time trying to undress me. My insecurity fires to life again once he has my pants off and tries to go for my shirt.

“Poppy?”

“I…I just don’t..”

He smiles at me. “It’s alright. Leave it on if it makes you feel more comfortable.”

We’re at my bedroom door and I open it, thanking my earlier self for cleaning the entire place before this date just in case. He pushes me to sit on the bed before he stands back, gripping the back of his shirt and sliding it off. Fuck he’s muscular, little patches of hair on the middle of his chest and leading down under his pants..which he is now undoing, leaving him standing there in his boxers - correction. He’s pitching a massive tent in his boxers. He steps between my legs and I lean back, feeling his hands glide up my bare thighs.

“You can leave the shirt on, but I wanna go under it. If that’s ok?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“I won’t do anythin’ you’re uncomfortable with. I just wanna show you how fuckin’ sexy you are…if the tent in my pants isn’t enough to convince you.”

His eyes are big and round, and dark with lust, his eyebrows coming together just a bit to make him look like a damn puppy.

“I could start and if you want me to stop, you just tell me. Sound ok?”

“O…ok.”

“I got you, Poppy.”

His hands slide under my shirt, pulling it up enough for him to put his head under it. Thankfully, I had worn a flowy shirt so there was plenty of room but I’m still nervous as fuck-

He’s kissing my stomach, my sides, all of the places he noticed I was self conscious about, little moans and grunts escaping him as he does. I feel his teeth lightly nip at me and I gasp, feeling his hands touch and caress me.

“Fuck you’re hotter than I pictured. Fuck.”

He pushes in further, sliding his hand around my back to fumble with my bra clasp.

“It’s in the front.”

“No shit, really? That’s fuckin’ awesome! Ah I see it.”

His fingers fumble at the front clasp and the bra opens, and he moans, bringing his hands up to grab at them, sliding his thumbs over my nipples and chuckling as I whimper.

“Well now I think I prefer front opening bras.”

He lowers his head and takes a boob in his mouth, sucking and licking and oh shit it feels so good! My hand flies to the back of his head, trying to grasp at his hair that I can’t reach because he’s under my shirt.

“That feels so good,” I whine out and he switches to the other, paying it the same attention.

A few moments later, he scoots back down to be level with my stomach again, nuzzling into it.

“Fuck how are you this gorgeous?”

“I-I’m not-OH!”

As he kisses my stomach, one of his hands slides between my thighs, moving under my underwear and dances across my clit, little circles and taps igniting that fire in my belly. My moves on to kiss and nip at my side and fuck! He slides a finger inside me and I cry out his name, feeling him add a second as he pumps back into me, the heel of his palm pressing down on my clit.

“Oh fuck Benny!”

He’s found some spot inside me, I can never reach it but fucking hell does it feel amazing, like a center for pleasure that radiates out every time his long fingers tap against it. I know I’m close, I can feel it.

“Benny, I’m gonna..gon…UGHHH!”

My head flies back into the bed and I cry out, feeling my pussy tighten around him as I come, my arousal spurting out of me as Benny guides me through it. As I come down I’m mortified - did I just pee on him?

“Oh God Benny, I’m so sorry.”

“For what, sweetheart?” He pulls his head from under my shirt, his hair sticking up at odd angles.

“For all the..”I gesture down to my now soaked sheets and he glances down and back to me.

“Poppy…have you never squirted before?”

“I- that’s squirting?”

He smiles. “Yes. Feel good?”

I nod. “It felt…I’ve never done that before. That was...fuck!”

He smiles wider. “Perfect. I wanted you to feel good as I kissed this fucking amazing body of yours.”

“You-you wanted me to have a positive body association?”

He stares blankly at me for a moment. “That sounds right.”

“Take off your boxers.”

“Yes ma’am.”

He stands up to take off his boxers, his eyes darkening even more with lust. Fuck he’s long - thicker than I’ve had before but not outrageously thick. He is long as shit though and beautiful. He starts to lean down, but I put my hand out.

“Wait.”

“Are you-”

I sit up, grabbing the bottom of my shirt and ripping it over my head. I clutch it to my chest for a moment before nodding slightly to myself, chucking the shirt on the floor. I can’t help but to wrap my arms around myself, despite knowing he’d just seen me.

“Hey.”

I look up at him, my hands still trying to cover myself.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

He kneels on the bed, leaning towards me as I lean back. His eyes lock on mine as I lay back fully, Benny crawling up my body, pushing my thighs open wider to settle between them before he leans on his forearm. His finger traces a line down the side of my face as his eyes skit across it.

“You’re so beautiful.”

“So are you.”

He kisses me and I feel him pressing at my entrance, heavy and wanting. Instead of pushing in though, he slides up through my folds, covering his cock in my arousal from just minutes before. Fuck this feels amazing, like he’s touching every sensitive part of me at once. I feel that warmth spreading through me again with every slide, every-

Fuck!

He gently pushes inside me and I grip his shoulders, my nails digging into his skin as I cry his name. He stops to make sure I’m ok but then chuckles when I try to push his ass down to get him in deeper. He’s thick and long enough that I feel like every part of me feels every part of him, all the ridges, veins, and just..fuck. He pulls out and pushes back in a few more times, watching me as I writhe under him, my eyes closed in concentration.

“You feel fuckin’ tight, Poppy. I don’t…fuck..I don’t know if I can hold back.”

“I won’t break.”

He pauses. “You sure?”

“Rail me, Benny.”

“As you wish.”

He snaps his hips, setting a rough pace as he fucks me into my mattress. I grip his muscular back, nails scratching at his skin, my voice puffing out with our thrusts UGH UGH UGH! He grabs my leg, pulling it over his hip and he hits some other spot at the back of me and I’m done, flying straight over the cliff into another orgasm. I scream his name, pulsing around him, nails digging into his skin deeper, as he keeps railing into that spot, pushing me up the bed while prolonging my release. Once I start to descend, my grip on his back loosens and I feel his hips falter. He thrusts into me a few more times before pulling out, grunting and moaning as he comes on my stomach, rope after rope of him splayed out over my skin. He’s breathing hard, we both are. He looks down at my stomach, his softening dick laying on it, surrounded by his cum and I swear I feel his dick twitch at the sight.

“Fuck how are you this hot?” He asks, his eyes slowly moving up my naked body to find mine.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

He chuckles. “I don’t know about that. But I know I better clean you up before round 2.”

“R-round 2?”

His expression darkens as he looks at me with a smirk. “Well you can’t lay there looking all sexy and expect me to not want to taste you.”

—----

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @giuliarogers-blog @icanbeyourjedi @diaryofkali @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso

@theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @dirtytissuebox @jadore-andor @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @sarahmilesbendrix @booksarekindaneat @mrsudontknowme @swol-bear @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @alindeluce @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed @ladykatakuri @marrianena @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol

#benny miller #ben miller #benny miller x reader #benny miller x you #benny miller x f!reader #triple frontier #garrett hedlund #benjamin miller #benjamin benny miller #garrett hedlund x reader #garrett hedlund x you #garrett hedlund characters #garrett hedlund character fanfic #garrett hedlund character ff #garrett hedlund character fanfiction

194 notes · View notes

phdmama · 2 years

Text

May 31, 2022

May We Lift Each Other Up 2022 Wrap-Up!

Instead of an individual lift-up, today I just wanted to lift up the experience of fandom in general, and reflect on what it’s given me.

Fandom has given me the joy of witnessing other people’s creativity. As I said elsewhere, I want to lift you all up because you’ve already lifted me up. I’ve gotten to see people in all stages of their journeys. I’ve gotten to see people blossom and grow and that is so beautiful to me.

I’ve also gotten to enjoy (FOR FREE) the results of those labors and that work. I’m not sure I can adequately articulate the impact fic and art have had on my life. Of course, it’s entertained me. But it’s also challenged me. It’s helped me learn new things about myself and people and the world. Fic has given me tools and wisdom for managing my own trauma/C-PTSD and pain. Fic and fandom have helped me understand myself and my own neurodivergence in SO many crucial ways, ways that are allowing me to be happier, healthier. A better partner and parent. Fic has been with me through some of the hardest experiences I’ve had, and it’s brought me comfort and healing.

Fandom and fic have brought me some of the best people I’ve ever known, and some of the closest friends I’ve ever had. It’s given me a place to be wholly myself. I think like a lot of people, I’ve had a hard time in the real world finding people and places where I felt like I could bring all of me and be, not only tolerated but genuinely embraced. I’m legit tearing up writing this, at how grateful I feel.

So many people commented how this was something they really needed in the moment they received it, and I was really struck by that. Things are hard in the world right now. So hard and scary and heartbreaking. And it feels daunting and overwhelming to know where to begin. I guess a thing I take from this is, that any kind impulse we have, it matters to express it, if we can.

Our words matter. I really believe in energy, and I believe that what we put out into the universe stays there. This is not to say that anyone should feel guilty if they can’t, of course not! But if you’re having that impulse, and you wonder, does it matter? Does it make a difference? It does matter. It does make a difference.

I cannot tell you how hard it was to limit myself to 30 days and 32 people. I think I could have written ten times the number of posts that I did. As I said before, I wish I had the spoons to lift every single on of you who’s touched my life, but whether or not I wrote a post highlighting any particular person, please know that I *am* lifting you up in my heart. Because you matter. Your presence here matters, and I say that confidently, whether or not we’ve ever interacted.

So thank you all, so much, for going on this journey with me! Honestly, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep it up for the whole month, and I’m sort of astonished that I did. Thank you to everyone who gave me ideas and recommendations, I’ve read things that have moved me and given me so much. Thank you to everyone who supported this project.

Tl;dr - Just… thank you.

Below the cut is the list of all the amazing people I’ve got to lift up this month! Check them out!

May 1 - @kingsofeverything

May 2 - @phoebe-delia

May 3 - @louandhazaf

May 4 - @sweet-s0rr0w & @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm

May 5 - @sitp-recs

May 6 - @tackytigerfic

May 7 - @londonfoginacup

May 8 - @teacup-tai

May 9 - @lululawrence

May 10 - @lqtraintracks

May 11 - @crinkle-eyed-boo

May 12 - @m4g0rtz & @julcheninred

May 13 - @justalittlelouislove

May 14 - @softlystarstruck / @celestialbee

May 15 - @clottedcreamfudge

May 16 - @onbeinganangel

May 17 - @nv-md

May 18 - @thebooktopus

May 19 - @becomeawendybird

May 20 - @lettersbyelise

May 21 - @laynefaire

May 22 - @wolfpants

May 23 - @allwaswell16

May 24 - @veelawings

May 25 - @helloamhere

May 26 - @fallinglikethis

May 27 - @the-starryknight

May 28 - @suburbanmotel

May 29 - @academicdisasterfic

May 30 - @pineau-noir

118 notes · View notes

art-monsters · 10 days

Note

honestly, I am always amazed by your style of writing. the way you manage to capture thoughts/feelings, it’s fascinating and it’s raw. it’s more like reading poetry than anything else

anyways, I wanted to give my own definition of art a try :) (loved pandoras btw. in general, they all suited the characters so well!!)

I have to apologise for the length though haha:

Art is a stance, a question, and a motive.

It so not what you see that is translated into a blank canvas, but rather your unique perception of surrounding, of the world as a whole, a message which is visualized through art and carried forth to an audience who will, in turn, interpret that and twist it into something comparable with their own ideals.

Art appeases not only the creator but also the beholder, however; it’s purpose is not to please but to acknowledge, rather, to enrage and inspire a thought process deeper than a simplistic, surface-level ‘pretty’.

Art is a medium carved out for those who fail to articulate their thoughts, for those who deem words insufficient and lack-luster, at times when nothing truly manages to mediate the conflicts raging in your mind. Art is being, art is creating, art is conveying. It’s an escape, the drive to evade thoughts which fight their way to the surface yearning to be spoken though not tangible sound escapes. Art is carved out for the horrific, the surreal.

What frightens us: demons, the dark, death, uncertainties looming unaddressed, are all something we refrain from verbalizing. But we can draw. We can pretend, we can romanticize, we can conceptualize. Create a vision that only the artist will ever truly understand.

Art is a manifestation of being. A declaration of defeat, an appraisal of societal constructs, an acknowledgment of instinct and primal needs. Of humanity; or the lack thereof.

Art is the truest form of self. A mirror of mind but also deception. Desperation and mortality.

Ultimately, you cannot create without chipping away parts of yourself in the process. To indulge in art and walk away unscathed would be the true ideal.

To be consumed by art is inescapable.

hello! thank you very much for the kind words!

art as temporality

art absorbs us, it absorbs the human experience in its entirety and reflects it back to us. our fears, our hopes, our dreams, our innermost thoughts. it is the product of the artists' experiences and the viewer's experiences and societal expectations. and the canvas stands before us all voracious and daunting.

art is something that takes, art is something that endures, art is something that evolves and morphs and gives voice to the unspeakable. it is something to be both feared and fascinated by. it is the essence of all of humanities events from the point of creation onward, a collection of histories as we move through them.

i am putting you with the monstrous group with Marlene, Dorcas, and Pandora because art is a reflection, it reveals all parts of the viewer and the world around us, whether we want to see it or not. it is there. it is the true-self, it is scathing. it is something that you cannot walk away from unmarred. it is simultaneously what is left when you kill the angel in the house and the expectations of the angel in the house reflected back at you.

#🏺

6 notes · View notes

tacroyy · 8 months

Text

first week of school. also want to add that ill try to do content warnings better for these! haven’t done a good job of that at all. mentions of racial and ableist slurs, discussion of stressed kids, food insecurity, institutional neglect and harm, general discussion of trauma

ok, thursday and friday weren’t bad other than me being beyond exhausted. i truly couldn’t have functioned without my adhd meds. the seventh graders are fucking amazing and we had The Best discussion, totally out of the blue, about prejudicial language, specifically the n-word and the r-word (both are problems at our school 🙃). i basically don’t have classroom management over them rn (or at least am not bothering to Exert It) bc their other teachers are Overreacting and being Too Intense bc it’s the start of the year so since they already know me it’s all steam blowing off in my class but honestly that’s fine. they don’t have to be non-feral until next week bc i just want them to Relax right now. the sixth graders just got lockers and are Going Through It emotionally so there’s a lot of “breathe, try again” and “nobody is doing tardies right now” bc some of them literally haven’t developed their fine motor skills enough yet and our locks and lockers are, no lie!!!!!, forty years old and Cranky. so that’s a lot of unregulated stress to channel off. i think i say this twice a week but i Do Not Understand how ANYONE teaches elementary school. makes No sense to me. beginning of sixth grade is often too young for me, really; so many of them haven’t developed that, like, independent rationality yet, and it’s A Lot when there are So Many of them.

the ideal way to end this first week would have been to have like a half day for prep so we could meet w teachers, contact parents/guardians, do sped referrals, seating chart upheavals, etc. there’s a lot of “ah, okay, here’s what This batch needs” even 3 or 4 days in, and it would just be so lovely and useful and productive and overall good for everyone to have that. for example i overheard a convo that made it clear that a family hadn’t signed their kid up for free lunch this year and so the kid didn’t get lunch so i had to run around and tell the right people (teachers don’t have access to that info) and make sure they got fed and all but it took my whole prep, and im obviously delighted to do that, but then i didn’t have any prep time and did my last three classes on the fly. not that this kind of thing doesn’t happen most days. it’s just that more prep time is imo the number one thing we need as a profession. i cant begin to express how much it would help everyone.

plus there are, as always, the kids that i just want to have a four hour productive meeting about every single day, where we hash out an Actual Plan. with a social worker, a reading specialist, a developmental psychologist, a pediatrician, a therapist, a sped expert, a speech therapist, an occupational therapist, a case manager, a para AND an ea and a secretary for notes. instead it’s me and the counselor who has a 250 kid caseload for ten minutes in the hall.

ive had a dream for a while, since grad school actually, of studying the affect of referred trauma on kids’ peers and school faculty and staff, especially peers and faculty and staff who also have trauma. the amount of shit that slides off of me now because you Have to grow the most perfectly balanced shield of “i will Act on this and Not ignore it” and “i must Remain Calm” and “I’ve just heard the Worst Thing Ever and have to teach for another four hours”. what does it do to you long term? what about the ones who get inured? and the ones who don’t? how can we actually help people handle this well? i know there’s So much stuff out there about secondary/vicarious trauma, and trauma informed education, and i want to be able to know if it’s at all useful or if it’s too tainted to use, like i now expect from basically all educational academia. to be clear i have already done a lot of work in this area but not for a while, and i wanted to reframe the fundamentals.

so glad we have a three day weekend now.

#eedutalk

7 notes · View notes

nerdyenby · 1 year

Text

Green time :D I’m watching Jojo

Pregame

Gosh, she’s so pretty. Sorry, just had to get that off my chest

I know green got some bad luck but I’m hoping the energy survives and thrives, I’m ready for vibes!!

Jojo stays on the grind, she’s insane /pos

I know Kara would’ve said if it was H, but I like to imagine that it was H who just showed up and offered her bacon without warning

“Maybe there are kind people in this world” Jojo going through it, don’t mind her

Pete and Jojo are so freaking funny together. They’re both so deadpan it’s amazing, I’m dying

Haha who who have past MCC teams memorized, that’s so whack hahahah (it wasn’t intentional, okay? It just happens when you run two 64-spot team brackets ;-;)

Seriously though, no one can be expected to remember MCC teams from more than one event ago, if that, including (and dare I say especially) content creators. Those are your pals and you’re at work, why would you be expected to remember who you were with on a specific day??

“Oh you’re in MCC? Name every team you’ve ever been on” so true Pete

“I could probably name every single team I’ve been in” “Weird flex but okay” “Ok, I’ll go for it, here we go” Jojo really said bet

*EEEEI* “Wait, was that wrong?” “No, I just wanted to make a buzzer sound” Pete is so real for that, honestly

“Fuck vod reviewing, all my homies hate vod reviewing” Pete only has banger opinions, sot is the only vod review you need in life

Jojo’s skin is so cute!!

Pete and Jojo saying they’re excited for Michael’s ace race

Hi Hannah!!!

I love this team’s energy

Pete saying he wanted Jesus to take the wheel and Kara appeared from the heavens

“Pinged in real life” 😂

Them making plans to go to a concert together, content creators doing actual irl friend things together makes me so parasocial

Me when I have a resting tremor and my doctor has no idea why

THEYRE THE ONES THAT STARTED THE PUNCHING??? That’s so funny oh my goodness

The best reactions to the intros ever 😂

Grid Runners

This team is so go with the flow, I love them

OH MY GOD THIS STRAT

“For team morale, any time we fail a game we need at least one person on the team that can take the fall, whether it was their fault or not. Grid runners is mine, so if we fail I’m the asshole” this is so iconic I can’t

“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen” so true Pete

Grid goes so quickly because it’s! the best! game!!!

“Guys we suck” that’s the spirit!!

“Let me check who’s to blame for this one.. Oh it’s me! Alright, lay it on me!!” “Damn Pete, what the hell?” I love this team so much

Parkour Warrior

I love the blame game they’re doing

Jojo’s popping off!!!

Jojo’s so good at this it make my heart happy but painfully, or it hurts my heart in a good way, whichever makes more sense

Rip Kara, it’s okay, it’s crazy easy to flop when the pressure gets that bad, no worries queen <333

Aw Michael was so close too :((

“As per the law, this is my fault […] I threw- oh, I’m top 5!!” Y’all don’t understand how I’m love I am with this gimmick, green30’s blame game my beloved

I love how parkour warrior isn’t just about parkour skills, it also really emphasizes time management. It makes it more variable and interesting because it’s not just gonna be the same three people winning every time because there’s no single right way to do it. It’s now a strategy game and I’m so down for that, you don’t understand

Sands of Time

“You guys suck! I’m taking about the other teams” “That’s fine” “We suck too”

Jojo my igl!!!

Michael doesn’t know our lord and savior HBomb94??? Smh…

Gosh, we’re watching a master at work, people

Michael is such a good sand keeper, he just has such “this is your captain speaking” energy

“Michael your comms are incredible, I need you to know that” yes Pete!! Hype him up!!!!

Jojo found the vault so quick but that tunnel is MASSIVE

HISTORY HAS BEEN MADE!!!! GREEN30 SUPREMACY!!!!!

JOJO SOT CHAMPION!!!!

And now we throw, so true

Ace Race

Michael be like: stonks

Jojo repping us anxiety girlies, as she should (I’m not a girl but I’m anxious enough that I think I qualify)

MUSIC TIME WITH JOJO :DD

The turtles do go boing, so true Michael

Pete and Jojo are everything

Pete and Jojo holding hands for an entire lap and a half my beloved

Jojo giving Pete the strength to do the skip then missing it herself

Kara personal best yippee!!!!

Pete fastest lap my beloved!!

YIPPPPEEEEE

Michael is thriving this MCC, we love to see it

Ayyyyy halftime show!!!!! Get it ladies!!!

This is a phone flashlight moment right here

I JUST STARTED CLAPPING IRL!??!??!! MY PARENTS HAVE PEOPLE OVER 😭😭😭

Meltdown

“Here’s the plan: uh, follow me” so true Jojo

Gosh, I love this team. No stress, no rage, just “okay, here’s what we change”

OH MY GOSH

HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE IN THIS ROOM????

THAT WAS INSANE!!!

Kara 😭😂😂😂 the sass, my goodness

“I don’t care” Kara is so real for this, I strive to be that self-assured

“Everybody pause. Shut up now. Who?” “Where the fuck is Mumbo Jumbo?” Funniest part is that I don’t know if any of these people actually know Mumbo

Battle Box

“Everyone’s looking at me!! Oh, everyone fell. Oh my god, everyone died” 😂

Mmmm yes, tight corners my beloved /s

Prison my beloathed

WHEN DID THE GAME START???? DID I ACCIDENTALLY SKIP FORWARD AND NOT NOTICED OR WAS I JUST THAT SPACED OUT???

I like battle box, I do, I just feel like I’m never paying enough attention ;-;

Winning against red was huge, they had such good comms too

We love finding a good groove :))

Gosh the vibes are immaculate, you expect them to be super sweaty but they’re just comming in gibberish

Jojo 13 kills?!??!!

“That’s my teammate!!” Heck yeah it is, gosh Pete and Jojo are everything

Michael willing to take one for the team, what a king

Sky Battle

Jojo igl my beloved

You got this, queen

Kara hyping up Michael’s kill :))

Rip, unfortunate spawn, happens to everyone

Pete’s tone when he said Michael’s name after he died 😂

“They need to give the chicken swap to two people and enable pvp” Pete is a genius

Hole in the Wall

The absolute sass, I love them

“It’s all your fucking fault” thank you Michael

I didn’t even realize they weren’t calling colors 😭

THOSE are the lyrics??? I thought it was “I believe” not “if I was green” lmao

Jojo flipped a switch in her brain and called the most supreme hitw comms of all time

“100- I mean, red” real

“Hey, guys? I’ll take the blame on this one” “Don’t.” “King, I’ll steal the blame from you” “I will too, I messed up” this is violating the spirit of the blame game /s

Pete and Jojo holding hands on the leaderboard my beloved!!!

Dodgebolt

“I would’ve appreciated if we would’ve like, said beforehand ‘oh hey, I’m gonna throw now’ so like, I would’ve been able to be emotionally prepared”

Maybe the real treasure was the parkour tag we skipped along the way

“Man, I even took my performance-enhancing drugs” KARA 😭😭😭

Cheering when Firecracker came and joined their screenshot, then keeping the energy when Fruit, Illumina, and 5up joined in too

Them all being so excited to team together :((

THAT SOT WAS LEGENDARY!!!! GREEN30 YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!!!!!

They’re such bad listeners /aff

“You guys don’t listen to each other, yet you listen to me when I make calls in skybattle? What the fuck?” Pete 😂

“When was the last time we saw numbers like that in sands of time?” The answer is never, Jojo!! Y’all made history!!!

Michael stop being self-deprecating, I swear, a good sand keeper is an absolute necessity and you killed it king

GREEN30 PLATE UP!!!! I don’t know it that well but it’s such fun chaos

I’ve missed these little post-mcc chats where a bunch of people join a random channel and just talk, it’s giving season one vibes :))

#mcc 30 #mcc #mc championship #mc championships #jojosolos #petezahhutt #kara corvus #michael mcchill #nerdy’s mcc reactions #cw caps #cw swearing

13 notes · View notes

siriuslysatorusimping · 6 months

Note

Omg Kiko I am in TEARSSSS!! I spent the last few days frantically reading the manga from the Shibuya arc to present and reading your instalments alongside it so I could properly enjoy and understand what's going on in the story and now that I've reached 'All that I am is yours' I am atively cryingggg. I think I've cried at pretty uch everu instalment since Shibuya started, tears of sadness for Rinko and tears of joy.

Its been very emotionally draining but the very GOOD kind. And the fact that its a happy ending after sooo much tragedy really made it feel more special.

I started out as 🍬 anon, then accidentally outed myself😅 and gave up on that. And I just want to say how PROUD I am of you Kiko! I've been following you since 'Let me know you' and have become so attached to Rinko I cried with her when she was breaking and lonely as people she loved were dying, and when she realised she was loved and she managed to save some of those people and she was not actually alone. She just feels so human, the way you can truly see her growth over the course of the story and empathise with her. Even with the mistakes she made, her thought process and the factors that shaped it (like her mother) you truly managed to bring her to life and that is an amazing thing to do.

I'm so grateful I stumbled on your story and have stayed to reach this point and I just want to thank you for sharing this story with us and letting us be a part of the jounrey🥰🥰

Honestly I could go on and on about how you've managed to make all the characters feels so much more human and 3d and their relationships so much more deeper and the way Rinko has become so deeply ingrained into everyone's lives and the jjk universe I genuinely cannot imagine canon without her anymore. But I would be here all day

(But I will be posting a separate ask about the game because I didn't want this to get too long and I'm will go into more detail about my love of your writing and portrayal of the characters there🥰)

THANK YOU SO MUCH I APPRECIATE THIS MESSAGE MORE THAN I CAN EVEN SAY! 💕🥹

At risk of being repetitive, Rinko is my favorite character I've ever written. My goal with her has always been to be as emotionally realistic as possible. And I'm so happy with the result of that!

Another Level has been such a wild ride, but it's been an incredible one and we're still not quite done!

Thank you so much for reading!!! And for this message and for being part of our lil corner!!!!

There's more that I know I could say but my brain isn't working well enough to type it right now so I'm just gonna go with it 😂

#another level asks #sweet asks #gojo satoru x original female character #another level #rinko kurisaki aka my favorite oc i've ever written

5 notes · View notes

stargazer-sims · 1 year

Text

Haru: Want to see some pictures of me and Eden skating? I’m pretty bad, honestly, but I managed not to fall over while Eden took these.

Charlie: So, it’s mostly pictures of you skating?

Haru: I took a bunch of pictures of Eden too, but you probably don’t want to see those. We took some adorable selfies together, though.

Charlie: I’m not sure I ever imagined myself saying this, but you guys make a cute couple.

Haru: A couple. I wish I could tell you how awesome it feels to hear somebody say that. About me and someone.

Charlie: You’ve really never had a boyfriend or girlfriend before, have you?

Haru: No, but it’s not because I didn’t want to or wasn’t trying. It’s just.. I’m too annoying, or not interesting enough or something. I don’t know.

Charlie: There’s something I don’t understand.

Haru: What?

Charlie: How does somebody who thinks he’s stupid and annoying and uninteresting manage to become a J-pop idol?

Haru: You don’t need to be a genius for this. I’m pretty and talented enough to have gotten noticed, and that means something. I mean, you know we’re selling a product, and not personalities, right?

Charlie: I guess.

Haru: I got scouted at my high school’s spring festival, rapping in the talent show. The guy from Peak liked my rhymes and my look. So that’s how somebody like me ends up in an industry like this.

Charlie: That’s actually pretty amazing, you know. And you think you’re uninteresting?

Haru: That’s about It for the fun Haru facts, so yeah.

Charlie: Do you like what you’re doing? Like, are you glad you got scouted, or would you rather be doing something else?

Haru: I love it, if you really want to know. It’s the one thing I’m good at, and it’s all I want to do for now. I think I’d like to be a producer some day, when I’m done performing.

Charlie: See? That’s interesting.

Haru: *sighing* I probably shouldn’t be talking to you about this stuff.

Charlie: Why not?

Haru: Because you’re not here to be my personal therapist or whatever. Taiji says I gotta respect boundaries, and I'm working on that.

Charlie: You're not disrespecting any boundaries by talking to me. I was the one who asked.

Haru: Yeah, but everyone says I talk too much.

Charlie: We don't have to talk any more if you don't want to. I probably should be getting to Keigo and Senjirō anyway. Or Aidan, I guess. Is that really his name? It's what he asked me to call him.

Haru: Yeah, it is. Senjirō is his middle name. It's so Western, having a middle name. We don't call him Aidan, and he's never asked us to, but maybe he wants you to because you're Canadian like him. Maybe he thinks you get it.

Charlie: I do, and I get having a multicultural name, too. Eden and I both have Korean middle names, and so does our sister.

Haru: That's cool. My other friend Ji-Hyun is Korean, and he wants an English name. I kind of do too, but I can't think of a good one, and it'd probably be weird anyway, since my English sucks. Taiji says it's ridiculous, but we like the idea.

Charlie: You could ask Eden to help you pick one.

Haru: I could. That's a good idea. Thanks.

Charlie: No problem. I'm here to help.

Haru: I appreciate it.

Charlie: Well, I'd better get to the other guys. More hair colouring in the bathroom.

Haru: *laughing* Get used to us and our crazy demands. We're all super high maintenance.

Charlie: Oh, don't worry. I'm already used to it. Remember who my brother is. 'High maintenance' is a way of life.

Haru: I'm going to send him the pictures you took of me with my new look. I can't wait to see his reaction.

Charlie: He made me promise to make sure you stayed pretty.

Haru: He did? I'm going to ask him if he thinks you kept your promise. I think I can guess what he'll say, but I'll let you know.

#ts4 #sims 4 #eagames #snowy escape #sugar valentine #Charlie Seong #Sakuharu Abe #fake boy band #wearesugarvalentine #stargazersims

14 notes · View notes

kookieswan · 2 years

Note

Requesting a part 3 ✋✋✋

Are we gonna move forward for this part? See where our two protagonists have ended up this time?? 👀 Could I request some more suspicious interaction too, maybe like neither of them know if they should trust the other person yet but they also kinda understand that each other is all they got at this point? Idk you do whatever you want with it I'm just excited to read more!! 💜💜

Beyond Decaying Walls

- Level 1 -

Yoongi x Reader (f)

Word Count: 1.4k

Genre: Backrooms!AU, Horror AU, Strangers to forced kind of friends? lmao. Fluffier than the last few but Yoongi is still awkward.

Warnings: Horror themes, mind fuckery, allusions to going insane, lack of eating/drinking. Strange creatures… This part is pretty tame though.

Summary: At first, you never thought you'd see a person ever again. Now, you're constantly staring at the back of the quiet mans head as he guides you into the abyss.

Notes: Big smoochies for Mindy because she's amazing. Also, because I'm sure people are curious, the concept of time in the Backrooms is extremely warped so its hard to tell just how much has passed.

Find the BDW Masterlist here!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Fuck, it’s like it never ends…” Trailing behind Yoongi, you can’t help but to curse your luck. How the fuck did you even end up in this predicament…? The only good thing that has happened is Yoongi, and he doesn’t seem like much of a talker. You, however, have been talking almost nonstop to fill up the silence. He never really responds but you think he’s listening. Maybe.

The area you wander now is vastly different from where you started. Instead of gross yellow walls and wet flooring, the area you walk along in resembles a carpark. The floors are wet still, but not fully. It’s earie to a point but at least there isn’t a ringing of terrible fluorescent lighting. Yoongi pauses in front of you, nodding his head toward an elevator.

“Sure.” Both of you wander toward it, calling for it to take you to the next floor up. Honestly, this place is even more confusing than the last. There aren’t just endless hallways, there’s stairs and elevators, large rooms and small. Like usual though, you follow your instincts… Or Yoongi’s. He’s been guiding the way mostly like he knows where he’s going, and his confidence is a good enough reason for you to stick to him like glue.

He had managed to find you some food and water earlier (and shoes for you thank fuck), spotting a number of random crates along the side of one of the walls. You’ve been diligently checking anything and everything that could have useful items, but a lot of the shit you’ve found isn’t going to do you much good. At the very least, you both have bags now to carry things along with you, and yours might have some crayons hidden inside.

You stand silently next to Yoongi, eyes cast toward him in curiosity as the elevator moves upward. His face is like a mixture of soft and striking with cute cheeks but sharp eyes. He seems no nonsense, outfit mostly black and voice deep, and that’s if you even get to hear it. Like usual, you have no clue how long you’ve been wandering, but it’s been long enough to know that the man you’re traveling with is an introvert and prefers not to speak if he doesn’t have to.

“Come on.” The elevator dings open, Yoongi immediately stepping out and walking forward. Diligently, you follow, because he walks fast and you’re not so sure he won’t leave you on accident. He never explicitly said he wanted you to come with him, but he’s never turned you away either. Just kind of silently stares or grunts when you ask him things or are taking too long in a certain area.

It’s a while before he stops, eyes squinting toward a random table that sits in the middle of the large room you’ve entered. Following him toward it, you note that there’s something sitting on the table, maybe papers or folders. Yoongi picks them up, quietly looking over the documents as you notice crates sitting next to the table. “What is this…? It says it’s from a group called MEG.” MEG? Letting him read, you open up the container and find loads of water and food in it. A squeal leaves you unintentionally, plunging your hands in to grab something to drink and eat. The water all mostly seems to be almond water, but at this rate, you couldn’t give a fuck less. Munching on some chips, you watch Yoongi’s eyebrows furrow as he looks more and more concerned.

“It says that there are humans here, but also ‘entities’ that we have to watch for. Must have been what the dog thin thing was…?” The sheer number of words leaving his mouth is starting to bother you. Mixed with the worried look on his face, it must stem from nervousness…?

“They have names; Dullers, Hounds, Scratchers, Skin-Stealers, and Facelings.” Well, that’s fucking terrifying. You eat another chip, chewing as you watch water drip from the ceiling. You know one thing, and that’s that you do not, under any circumstances, want to run into whatever the hell a Skin-Stealer is. Taking one more sip of water, you put the cap back on and roll up the remainder of your chips as Yoongi continues to read quietly.

“I’m going to pretend that doesn’t bother me at all. I’ve never had almond water before being in here, but it’s actually pretty damn good.” You hand him a spare bottle as he glances toward you, eyes still unreadable. Taking it, he untwists it with his hands (that are very big and veiny. Interesting) and takes a quick drink.

“It is not so bad…” There’s a slight lull in the conversation as he continues to drink and you peer around the area. It’s curious that you haven’t found anyone else yet, but it’s got to be just a matter of time at this rate. Yoongi grabs the papers again, pointing to one in particular as he regards you.

“The guide says that there are outposts scattered across this ‘level’. But if we are not careful, we could accidently go to another level. I think it might be in our best interest to try and find an outpost.” Outposts must be where all the people are staying then. From the (Long? Short?) amount of time that you’ve been here, you know that it can’t be safe to just keep wandering forever. Not when wild creatures are hunting you down.

“Here, if you want to read.” Snagging the paper, you scan over it and almost instantly become overwhelmed with all the info on it. Wanderers, entities, food/water, places for shelter or safety… All good things but fuck, you really just want to get home. Chancing it, you decide to ask Yoongi where his home is.

“Thank you… Ah, I’ve been wondering, you’re from South Korea?” You’re pretty sure he is based on your limited knowledge from kdramas and the few phrases you’ve heard him say (mostly cursing or muttering to himself). He nods jerkily, eye scanning the area as he leans back against the table. You haven’t had any run ins with any other ‘entities’ since the first one, but its your guess that neither of you want to deal with something like that again if you can avoid it.

“I am, but I have been living in the US for a while now for my work. You’re from there too?” Its your tun to nod because yes, you’ve lived in the United States for all your life. Traveling is something you always wanted to do, and instead you end up in this shithole. Fantastic stuff.

“Yeah, I was at work actually before all this. I work, or worked I guess, at an office building as a secretary. Went to the bathroom and fell through a wall of all things.” It sounds ridiculous when you say it, like a dream or scary story. It makes you think though, was there any evidence of you disappearing or did you just vanish into thin air? Yoongi bristles, looking slightly uncomfortable before he answers softly,

“… I fell out of the chair in my studio and ended up here. It is… Like I got sucked through the ground.” Just as weird as you. Both of you fell, or ‘noclipped’, through something into what is apparently dubbed the ‘Backrooms’ by this MEG organization. It all sounds like a crock of shit if you’re being honest, and yet…

Without any warning, the lights in your area start to slowly turn off, flickering before going out. Not all of them, but it’s enough to make the both of you super uncomfortable. This place is a danger, and you don’t want to know what goes on in the dark here.

“We should move soon. Gather what you want.” You do so, sneakily observing Yoongi when you can, ignoring the lack of lighting. You’re not concerned about him hurting you or betraying you at this point, he could have done so many times. Instead, he caught you earlier when you had tripped and almost faceplanted into the pavement and lets you chatter on about stupid stuff. A true gentleman really, and your best bet at survival.

“Lead the way.”

#beyond decaying walls #yoongi x you #yoongi x reader #yoongi imagine #yoongi angst #yoongi fluff #bts x reader #bts imagine #bts x you #bts angst #bts fluff

34 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

aveclueurcare

Untitled

cozyoctobernight

season of enchantment

pomegranated

pome ☆

otrproyect

On the running

luckycharmer

here for funzies✨