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roger-that-cap · 3 years

Text

meet me in the gardens

summary: being the widow of a decently wealthy lord and sitting on a large plot of land automatically meant that you were a candidate for the program that you couldn’t say no to; the hosting. you had to sponsor a knight and keep them in your home for an entire year, which was troublesome enough on its own. but you never expected your knight to be a woman, and you certainly didn’t expect to have a full on illegal love affair with her, either.

knight!natasha x lady!reader

sort of royalty au (there’s social hierarchy and a king and queen and knights and commoners and all that so- yeah it’s a royalty au nvm lmao)

warnings: this is fluff, angst, uh, basically everything but smut and serious angst.

word count: 2.5k, starting off short before we get into this

part one!

also, to the very few people who look for fics up here- i promise i’m alive, sorry for being m.i.a! work and school are bodying me right now

A lot could change within a year.

In a year, one was expected to grow wiser and older, and for you, because you were a woman, prettier. And because you did all three of those things in one year, you were herded off like cattle from your small farm, where the old pig you would soon be forced to call “husband” had seen you in the first place, and carted away to his large estate. You were supposed to be his wife, bear his children, and love him unconditionally even though you knew nothing about him, and he was supposed to do not even half of that for you. He had chosen you purely because your father had an abundance of wheat and animals, and he thought you were nice looking. He would surely never go hungry if he had the owner of a relatively large farm’s daughter with him.

Regardless of his reasoning for wanting to make you his wife, it ended up happening. You cried yourself to sleep the night before, and when you were done consummating the horrid marriage, you cried after he fell asleep, unable to shut your own eyes. That was how you spent your first night at the female counterpart to your lord husband, and as Lady Mirellis.

The marriage was loveless. The only thing you got out of it was a nice roof over your head and some silky clothing that made you feel like you were betraying who you really were. He was a brute and a pig, and he hardly ever spoke to you other than to tell you to get on your back, your knees, or something else as equally vile. You were the lady of his large manor, considered a small castle, but that was all you were. You made friends with the staff around, and that made things just the tiniest bit better. He was still cruel and crude, still insanely aggravating, and getting more and more angry with each month that you weren’t carrying his child.

And then, all of a sudden, he grew ill. And, within a month after he fell ill, he died. And then you were a single woman who had a large estate to her name, and a growing line of suitors who wanted nothing more than to have their last names attached to the great patch of land. You were the lady of the house without a lord, still young and still capable of marriage. After a large fuss over whether or not a young woman from your background was fit to take over, you had inherited everything.

So, yes, a lot could change in a year. And you decided that the changes that took place in that year were ones that you could barely handle.

§§

You knew exactly what the letter with the King’s Seal on it was when it was put into your hand, and you very easily guessed the contents of it.

You supposed that you should have seen it coming. Miraculously, your late husband and lord had gotten out of the Hosting, which could have been seen as treasonous or dishonorable if he had been any less careful. You grew up on a farm, and you had no idea how to go about denying or questioning royal decree, so you weren’t going to. You were going to have to Host, for the first time in your life.

Your family was never important enough to have to do it, so you had no experience with it, other than knowing that a high up lord of a small castle, or big estate, whatever one wanted to call it, was in charge of having a knight in their home while the knight completed his year long training. The training was said to come from within, and the job of the knight was to be a good, honorable guest, and to come back to the castle after their year expired as a new and improved person.

But it was rare that they truly soul searched, you had heard. Mainly because they were ninety nine percent male and thought with their penises more than their brains and hearts. The Hosting was a knight’s last stop before true knighthood, more or less a time that humbled young knights. It was a test of the true intentions of a knight, the true desires of a man who wished for glory and authority.

“For you, Milady.” You grimaced inwardly at the title, the title that you used to have to call the lady that you used to bring barrels of hay to on Sunday mornings. You nodded at the young boy, a smile on your face. He was new, and it was clear that this was his first task that involved him to speak to a “higher up” person.

You patted his head. “Thank you,” you said, and his eyes widened comically before he laughed and ran away, obviously shocked by the way you spoke to him back.

It wasn’t against the law, but it was frowned upon for nobles to speak to servants more than necessary. A noble person was not required to have manners or ask kindly for things, and when they did, it was certainly an out of the ordinary experience. You knew that well enough.

You broke the red seal and took in a deep breath, going to sit at your late husband’s desk (that you of course inherited, as you inherited everything the man had) and finding your name in perfect and Royal handwriting.

Lady Mirellis,

As you know, the time for the selection of The Hosting has come. Your house was not a host during the previous Hosting, therefore, you will be required to sponsor a knight this year. Out of respect for your late husband and all he has done for me, I will choose a knight for you, a knight that I trust. You will be safe with my choice, and the year will flow smoothly. Once again, I am sorry for your loss.

Please expect your knight within the fortnight, Lady Mirellis.

With respect, King Anthony Stark.

§§

Two weeks later, your keep was buzzing. You hated hosting things, even if they were short dinners. And you knew that you were going to hate hosting a person for an entire year. A brand new knight who was full of himself, no less.

King Anthony had given you what he thought was going to be an easy charge for a reason. New knights were known for being rowdy, disgusting, perverted, and authoritative when they shouldn’t have been. No lady should ever have to deal with the crude words or behavior of a man—certainly not. And with you and your poor husband gone, that meant that no one was there to help you.

You appreciated the kindness, but it was obvious that every man thought that women were only an extension of their husbands. If you weren’t able to handle the loud voices and taunting shouts of men and boys, you would have melted or turned to dust by the time you were thirteen years old. If you had survived a man who carted you off and away from your family like you were cattle, you could handle a boy who was staying under your roof.

Nonetheless, your people were busy, and so were you. They were making accommodations to the largest guest room, because it was to be someone’s for an entire year. They were cleaning things that you never thought would be cleaned, washing random sheets and hanging them to dry. And you? You were making the welcoming package.

You had never made one before, but you were trying your hardest. It was more or less a care package to make the knight feel comfortable. It was a starter kit, so that they wouldn’t have to ask for much or seem unfit for knighthood, because it was all about pride. So help anyone above, you wouldn’t be dealing with a knight with a bruised ego.

“Men,” you scoffed out, rolling your eyes as you fluffed the silk pillowcase and folded the top of the woven basket over, closing in everything and tying the top with a bow.

“Y/N,” a woman’s voice called out, and you turned to it with a gentle smile.

Of course it was Wanda. Her and her brother were always by your side, ever since you had arrived at the keep. Pietro was the messenger boy for Lord Mirellis, because he was so fast on his feet. He delivered a message meant to go hundreds of leagues away and came back within days, when it would take others weeks. You liked Pietro a lot. He was a funny man, cheeky, but he knew his boundaries with people, whether they were lowborn or highborn. He had the same amount of respect for everything, and you admired that about him.

Wanda however, was your favorite person in the castle. She was the first kind face that you saw when you walked into the keep. She was the first person to actually ask you if you wanted help being dressed or brushing your hair. She was able to see that you needed help with your corset before you even asked. There were so many trivial things that Wanda did for you that made you so loyal to the friendship you shared, but there was one thing you were sure to never forget.

She had been the one to help you out of bed after a rough consummation night. She was also the only woman who had offered you even a sliver of sympathy, and for that, she was your greatest ally, and on a deeper level, a true friend.

You had barely even seen her for more than five minutes before you woke up in bed by yourself the morning after that horrid night, crying silent tears and feeling sore between your legs. A knock sounded on the door, and instead of her turning away and apologizing for coming in on such an improper moment, she shut the door and asked you if you needed help, without any fear of being scolded. Wanda Maximoff was different. That’s why you liked her so much.

She was standing beside you as you waited, even though waiting for a knight was somewhat improper. You were supposed to wait inside and have them knock on your castle door, and you were to welcome them inside and have a warm dinner ready. That was how it was always supposed to go, but you decided not to do that.

You were standing outside, like the lady you had been forced to become. Your chin was slightly lifted and your hands were at your sides, even though you were desperate to fiddle with your thumbs. You took in a deep breath as you heard the sound of a carriage coming, horses and the chatter of men getting louder with each passing moment.

You would be a liar if you said that you weren’t scared to have a man in your house that you didn’t know. Not only would he be a man, but he would be a man that knew how to do things that most didn’t, such as how to properly wield a sword. You were a woman alone, a widow to a lord, and people had tried things with you before, ever since your husband had died. Most of the time, those things ended up with their hands being cut off as the legal and unyielding punishment for their attempted crimes.

“No one here is going to let a stupid knight hurt you, you know.” Pietro had come out of nowhere, chest puffed out as he looked to his sister for a moment, and then back at you. “Wanda is practically with you every second of every day, and I’m never too far.” It was true. There were guards around, as well, but you were still scared.

“If you don’t like it this year, you can always say no next year.” Wanda offered, but you whined under your breath when you remembered that this was no visit. The man would be living with you for an entire year. “And King Anthony said he would be giving you a man he trusted to sleep under your roof. I trust his word.”

“As do I,” you said quickly, ringing out your hands one last time before the carriage got closer. “I’ll be fine, you two. Thank you.” And they knew just how grateful you were for them.

The carriage was being pulled by two white horses, both looking around carelessly and cluelessly as the coachman pulled them to a stop. “Lady Mirellis,” he said, looking you up and down, clearly judging you for not yielding to tradition. “It is very kind of you to meet us outside.”

“I thought it may be easier to begin the tour early,” you said, remembering at the last moment to school your voice into sounding ladylike. The stark difference between your public voice and the one that you spoke to Wanda and Pietro with always made Wanda smile a bit, and you knew that you would have laughed if you were looking at her. “I don’t want to give my new guest too large of a culture shock. I am not quite sure if he would appreciate being hoarded inside a place he hasn’t seen before.”

The coachman gave you an odd look, almost like he wasn’t understanding what you were saying. Or maybe, why you were saying it. But, he knew that because of your status, your word outweighed his, and he would do as you said. Your heart was beating nearly out of your chest as you watched him climb out of his chair and walk around, and you saw his hand wrap around the handle of the white and gold carriage.

There was a flash of brilliant red. That was all you saw at first, and then you saw shiny armor, glinting in the sun. Your eyes trailed up from the shoes that you knew were crafted specifically for knights, up to the legs and then to the breastplate, which you noticed was curved outwards. Your brows furrowed as your eyes got stuck in that place, and you willed yourself to believe that it was a trick of the eyes. There was a pinch on your arm, and you realized that you had been staring without speaking for much too long. In your embarrassment, your eyes flickered up to meet the man’s, and then, you nearly choked.

The knight was no man at all.

*****

so this is a series! this idea has been cooking up in my head for a while now, and i figured it was finally time to go through with it! i’m really excited about this one, and i’ve already got most of it planned out. i hope you guys liked this!

also- if you would like to be tagged, you are free to ask! (bold of me to assume that any of y’all want a notif for this bye 😭) please interact with this if you liked it, it makes me so happy and motivated to hear from you guys!

#natasha x female reader #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanov fluff #natasha romanov x reader #knight au #marvel au #marvel fanfiction #my fics #natasha romanoff series #knight!natasha #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x reader

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

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I may or may not have just sent the 3 word challenge in my real account instead of anon... I'm sorry. Please don't answer there. :)

When you post, post answering here please.

Again, much love,

📚🌻

Don't worry dear! Your identity shall remain a secret 🥰 Here's yet another fic with my Resident Evil OC: Gwen Winters (she’s an adult guys, don’t worry. However this is still an Older Man/Younger Woman relationship)

The words dear 📚🌻 Anon gave me in their previous ask were: Unruly, endurable and system. Please enjoy!

What happens in the gym....

Pairing: Chris Redfield x Female OC

Warnings: Swearing, Spoiler Free 😊

Genre: Angsty Romance

“Sure, throw me in the fire like you always do, Leon!“ Chris snaps, clenching his fists tightly as he glares at his best friend while the two stand in the dimly lit gym.

“Chris, you’re a BSAA captain, for the love of God! You should know better than to complain about something as little as this!“ Leon, while significantly calmer tone and demeanor-wise, is glaring daggers of his own.

“Why me, damn it?! And why her?!“ Chris is not done with his attempts to get out of the situation Leon’s trying to land him in and his partner’s honestly done with it.

“And why not?! You see the same potential I see, why would it be so hard to train her? She’s a quick learner, she’s disciplined when she wants to be and she’s already skilled to a certain degree. You’ve made soldiers out of total wimps before, why is she such a hassle to you?!“

“Because she’s disciplined when she wants to be and I guarantee she won’t want to when she’s around me. She’s unruly, selfish, arrogant and a Chris-phobe. I’m telling you, she hates me!“

It’s about time Leon’s had enough of this conversation. To be honest, he was done with it as soon as it started but he stayed, thinking he’d be able to change Chris’ mind but seeing as how this is a hopeless case, he’s just been wasting his time. “Does she? Or are you projecting your hate for her onto her?” Slinging his duffel bag containing his training gear over his shoulder, Leon finally makes that realization that these are ten minutes of his life he’ll never get back and storms out of the gym without another word.

Chris doesn’t attempt to stop him, in fact, he’s relieved he left. He sighs, silently hating himself for all the shit he said and how he meant none of it. It was all hard bullshit and he doesn’t know whether to be thankful or disappointed that Leon didn’t realize. Either way, he’s been cleared of possible suspicion, even if training the newest BSAA rookie still remains as his task.

Gwen Winters, she’s such a fucking handful. One cannot tell if it’s because she’s angry with the world, angry with herself or just straight up picked up on the habits of the family that took her in when she was rescued from Raccoon City where she was held as an experiment hamster. A chemistry project basically. Ethan and Mia were recovering from the events back in Louisiana at the time, still probably are, that is not some shit you get over, so they thought having another person in the house would help them. And help Gwen did. See, Gwen isn’t a handful with everyone. In fact, she’s a real sweetheart and Chris knows it too, despite his bogus claims. He knows she’s got a heart and soul of gold and is built with the will of a BSAA soldier already. All she needs is a bit better fighting skills and she’s good to go.

He sees how she acts with everyone around him. She’s been quick to make friends with Jill and his sister Claire and she’s even got Leon’s liking and trust which is hella hard to get, especially after all the shit with Ada. She’s overall a super sweet and lovely girl, even with him from time to time. He’s seen her welcoming, friendly smiles whenever he stops by the Winters’ home. He’s heard her laugh at the jokes he rarely cracks.

Then why does she act like she hates him so often? And why does he claim he hates her?

Chris is snapped back to reality by the sound of rough impact. It’s a very distinct noise, one he places immediately: the sound of fists hitting a punching bag. It’s the middle of the night, almost midnight actually, and knowing how lazy the soldiers on his team are, he can only assume it’s either his sister or Jill, given that Leon just left. However, they’ve had people sneak in to train for free before, so it’d be for the best if he went to check who was releasing some pent up energy on the poor punching bag. Judging by the intensity of the punches being thrown, sounds like the person might be angry as well.

And they have every right to be. Because they are Gwen.

Chris’ face goes a bit red at the sight of the infuriated rookie giving the punching bag her all, punishing it the way she’d want to do to her superior she just heard call her all the names she hates being referred by.

“Winters I-“

“Unruly?“ Punch “Selfish?” Punch “Arrogant?” Punch

She stills herself, sighing and wiping the droplets of sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand, “You say all that and expect me not to be a Chris-phobe?” She lets out a bitter laugh, rolling her shoulders before continuing her wrath over the piece of equipment she’s threatening to destroy. She hasn’t spared him a single look yet, something he’s rather grateful for because the last thing he wants to see is whatever her gaze is hiding right now. “I’ll talk to Leon.” She says, her voice leveled and breathy, far from the pissed off tone she was just using. This calmness is a lot scarier though. “I’ll tell him I don’t want you to be my trainer. To be perfectly clear, I never wanted you to train me in the first place. I’m just not the type to complain, you know. I’m not picky. Beggers can’t be choosers. I take what I can get. And you were all I was offered, but...” she trails off, delivering a particularly hard punch, “It’s not gonna work. I may not be picky, but I know when to draw the line. I know when I deserve better.”

“Kid, you really have no idea what the case really is here.“ He attempts desperately, taunted by the thought of acting on his instincts and approaching her even if that means being the recipient of one of those hard punches.

“You know, I’m strong. I’m skilled. I can hold my own in a fight quite nicely. I’m endurable. I’m not afraid to work my ass off and sweat and pant like a dog after workouts. There’s not a line I wouldn’t cross, but you still choose to make me feel lesser than any soldier you’ve ever come across, that’s really lovely of you, Captain Redfield.“

“Winters, please...“

“It’s ok, I won’t tell Ethan and Mia. I’m sure they’ll send you to hell over it. I’m not petty like that.“

He’s had enough. He’s had enough of hearing that hurt tone in her voice. He’s done hearing these words she’s so certain are true but aren’t. He’s done lying to her and to himself. Before he can even think twice about it, he grabs her by the arms gently but firmly, turning her to face him despite her hostile attempts to free herself from his hold like a wild animal caught in a trap. He’s surprised when she relaxes, probably seeing that as a quicker way out of the situation rather than struggling though if she tried to free herself any longer he would’ve probably let her go.

“Fucking hell, Gwen, listen to me.“ He looks her dead in the eyes, catching onto the spark of shock created by his use of her first name. But he also sees something else, something that looks dangerously a lot like tears. He knows she won’t cry, especially not in front of him, but knowing that he’s the cause behind the welling of those crystal droplets in her always shiny, always smiling eyes breaks him. When she doesn’t look away nor protest, he continues, “I can’t be your captain. I can’t be your trainer. I can’t be any of that. I’m a strictly professional man, and it’d be highly unprofessional of me to take you in as my soldier.”

“But why?“ She’s fully aware she sounds like a whiny kid - exactly how she thinks he envisions her sometimes - but she couldn’t care less. She wants and needs answers. She knows she won’t be able to fall asleep or keep coming back to the training center if she doesn’t get them.

It’s blatantly clear this is far from easy for Chris. His first instinct is to look away, let go of her, run away like he always does - not that she’d let him do such a thing but still. He’s finds the words impossible to spit out yet he oh so desperately feels the need to get them out of his system. And so, he gathers all the strength within him and finally forces himself to say it.

“Because a captain isn’t supposed to look at a soldier the way I look at you.“

Sure, it sounds cryptic as heck but he has no doubt she’ll catch on. Gwen is a smart and sharp girl, among many other things. She confirms this when barely three seconds after he’s said it, he notices her eyes widening

“Sir, I-“

“Don’t.“ He says simply, a small, regretful smile playing across his lips as his hand slides down her arm to take hold of hers, “I just admitted my dirtiest secret to you and you are still gonna remind me how unprofessional I am by using my title, Kid?“

She purses her lips, the shock momentarily replaced by her signature mild glare, “Well, you just admitted your biggest secret to me and yet you still choose to call me ‘Kid’, huh?”

He chuckles, letting his other hand repeat the movements of the first, “Sorry, force of habit.” His thumbs brush against her knuckles briefly as his head falls, his gaze fixating on where their bodies are connected, “You know, I didn’t tell you this to get myself any pity or anything. I just wanted you to understand and....wanted to get it off my chest. Ethan will kill me if he finds out, won’t he?” He suddenly asks, regaining the courage to look up at her once again.

She giggles, “Who says he’s gonna find out?”

Chris bites the inside of his cheek, shaking his head, “You’re right, there’s nothing really to find out abo-”

Gwen has never been a chatter nor can she tolerate when people beat around the bush so she’s quick to cut them off sometimes, no matter how rude that may seem or sound. However, just to clarify, her chosen method of cutting a person off isn’t always kissing them. Just saying - this is a special situation requiring special methods.

Taken aback by the sudden feeling of her lips on his, Chris’ eyes close automatically but not even a second later he responds to the kiss properly: wrapping his arms around Gwen’s waist as her hands travel up to cup his face. The kiss is short - too short if either of them is to be asked - but it’s worth all the words they didn’t say despite wanting to.

When they pull away, Gwen gives him a mischievous smile, “Now he could find out about that and then shit would go south. That’d suck, wouldn’t it Chris?“

He’s only ever heard her say his name twice, once in passing conversation with Claire and once earlier when she paraphrased his term ‘Chris-phobe’, both time spoken with some dose of dislike he now realizes was a cover-up all along. Turns out the two are a lot more alike than they initially thought. Regardless, hearing her say his name with fondness instead of bitterness makes his heart flutter, his body yearn to have her closer, his lips wanting to be in contact with hers again. But he’s a patient and self-controlled man, he’s nothing if not willpower sculpted in a human body, so he keeps his distance, waiting for her to pick the moves, waiting for her to make the decisions just like she’s his captain.

“Big time.“ He manages to say, voice coarse all of a sudden, barely able to leave his throat. “So it stays here, right?”

She giggles again, bringing her lips within an inch or two away from his, taunting him, threatening to break his self-control, “What happens in the gym stays in the gym, Redfield.”

Golden rules of discretion, ones he mustn��t break ever. Especially not when his captain - Captain Gwen Winters - holds so much power over him.

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motsimages · 2 years

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So here is some headcanon for Leota Adebayo and Amanda Waller:

She grew up as the single daughter of a very busy woman, so basically she was raised by a nanny, the neighbours and occasionally, her father (some holidays, weekends, etc.).

I don't think she is from Gotham, that would be Keeya. They met when Leota started working at the dog rescue. She moved to Gotham there, partly to get away from her mother.

She doesn't think her mom is a bad person, but mom is distant and depressed, sometimes she just didn't have the energy to be with a child. Waller is also a bit disconnected from the usual way humans behave and grow up so she would expect better and bigger things from her daughter at ages when it is impossible to ask a child for them. She is also so very used to dealing with politicians, diplomats and other high-ranking officers that she only knows how to handle certain situations through manipulation and long-term strategy. Again, this doesn't really work with a child.

When Leota was a teenager, she didn't really fight her mom back. Sometimes she outsmarted her. The house seemed peaceful for anyone visiting who didn't know Waller, but to anyone familiar with her? There was always some background noise. When Leota's father went to pick her up, he would prefer to wait outside. He also made it clear that whatever she did with her mom wouldn't work with him and tried to show her a way to deal with people that didn't involve double-thinking every gesture and conversation.

So Leota was very sociable at school, had some friends, not that much bullying. Also, because she suffered one episode of severe bullying once, Waller noticed and taught her how to deal with it the Waller way. It worked so well that many people took distance from Leota after that day (including some teachers) but other weird bullied kids gravitated towards her.

Leota did volunteering work in the neighbourhood too and she was the joy of everyone who met her, always cheerful and nice and kind. Dealing with other volunteers, with rescue animals (animals don't judge, they don't expect anything from you, they don't blackmail you), she opened herself to a world where people were happy and full of energy.

Coming back home, Mom was always busy and always with a long face. She doesn't remember having fun with her mother, only responsibilities and only realising that she is suddenly doing something she didn't want to do in the first place?

So she left to Gotham because Waller didn't like Gotham because it's dangerous and dark. It took Leota a long time to find a job there and she obviously showed her mother that it was the only possible outcome. When Waller realised how Leota pulled it off, she was more proud than angry that her daughter knew how to turn situations to her favour. It was her daughter after all.

And Leota was happy working with dogs, and with Keeya. She introduced her to her friends in Gotham, showed her the cool places, told her how to deal with the difficult parts of the city and its peculiar inhabitants. And it was so easy with Keeya, she couldn't believe it. It reminded her of how it was with her dad, so easy. So Leota decided she needed to go to therapy, figure out what was broken with her mother, heal from certain things. And it worked.

Waller never had a problem with Leota being a lesbian but she didn't fully trust Keeya at the beginning. It was all so simple for that kid, so clear. She just didn't seem to see how complicated the simple things are and it was starting to change Leota too. But Waller, beneath all the cynicism and the hopelessness is not an idiot. She is happy her daughter knows someone so far from it all, maybe Leota can enjoy that too. For a while.

Waller tried to make Leota a bit like her, to make her suspect and doubt, to find alternatives in creative ways, and Leota was good at that. She wasn't good at moral dilemmas, but she managed to make Leota pass her exams to enter the Task Force X with the promise that it was only so that she could protect herself in Gotham. Even though she brought up every once in a while that there was a vacant, that Leota would do well in x project... But Keeya was there to remind Leota about what she really wanted.

And what Leota wanted was a peaceful life, an easy life when you don't have to second-guess everything. The training was useful in Gotham, but that was it. She felt she owed loyalty to her mother, maybe she was good for the Task Force after all, but life with Keeya was so easy and fun. Until they both got unemployed with 3 dogs.

#leota adebayo #amanda waller #peacemaker

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just-come-baek · 3 years

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Merry Crisis

Pairing: hockeyplayer!jungkook x pickpocket!reader

Themes: smut | fluff | sports!au | christmas!au | yyy... action?

Word count: 12k

Summary: During a casual meeting with friends at a local ice rink, a handsome boy bumps into me. Though it was just a small accident, a series of extraordinary adventures follow, helping me realize I should really change some of my life choices.

A/N if you get uncomfortable during this story, just stop reading. it gets weird later on. Also, sorry for posting it so late, it’s still Christmas somewhere!

4 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS

“What the hell are we doing here?” Kibum asked for the tenth time as he nearly slipped, even though his hands were glued to the railing. “None of us can skate for fuck’s sake,” he remarked, not being careful enough to watch his tongue, letting children hear his foul language. “We should’ve gone drinking mulled vine instead of this nonsense.”

“Speak for yourself. I am a decent skater,” I argued, though it was maybe my third time on the ice rink. The surface was slippery, yet I was brave enough to try my luck without sticking to the railing at all times.

Whoosh!

Kibum and I turned our heads around to see a few men racing on the rink like lunatics going probably at least two thousand miles per hour. They were skating so fast we barely could get a blurry image of their backs – fucking show-offs.

“Can you believe it? Fucking road hogs wanting to kill us all,” Kibum complained, searching for an exit with his eyes, desperate to get the hell away from the ice rink. “I’ve seen enough TV to know how this ends. Someone is going to leave this paddock with a blade in their neck,” he added, and I cursed in disgust, trying to erase the vivid picture my mind conjured.

“You really can ruin everything, can’t you?”

“Isn’t why you brought me here in the first place?” Kibum challenged, readjusting his woolen scarf around his neck in a fabulous diva manner. “Come on, go get Yeri. I’ll wait on the bench,” he ordered, clumsily escaping that icy trap.

“I think your cousin wouldn’t appreciate me going over there,” I stated, spotting her on the other side of the rink, flirting with a cute guy. “Now, that would be so cruel,” I added, leaning over the railing, staring at Kibum ineptly wobbling to the bench.

“What?” Kibum barked in an over-protecting manner, looking for the unworthy punk wasting Yeri’s time. “Just bring her here, please. I’m gonna treat you to lunch.”

“You should’ve said that earlier. I’m on it,” I said, content with how much I stalled the conversation to get a free meal from Kibum for completing such an easy task.

Having pushed myself off the railing, I made my way towards Yeri. She was basically at the opposite end of the ice rink, so I was forced to skate around lovely-dovey couples in the rhythm of overhyped Christmas songs.

Halfway there, the DJ ordered changing directions, so with a loud groan, I obediently turned around. Unfortunately, one of the speeding men didn’t halt quick enough and smashed right into me, ungracefully knocking me into the ice.

Crash!

It was a painful fall for both of us. If it wasn’t for the beanie with a big fluffy faux ball at the top of it, I’d most likely end up in hospital with a third-degree concussion and possible skull fraction.

Though I was in a mild shock, I could feel a nearing headache and blood dripping down my chin after his forehead collided against my nose. With his knee sharply boring into my thigh, I whined, trying to push him off of me.

At this point, I didn’t care about his injuries. He was the one who bumped into me in the first place; he deserved all the pain he was experiencing. Hopefully, it was similar to mine. According to Newton’s third law of motion, he ought to feel the same amount of pain, and if he sensed it any less, I was about to become livid about the lie I had been told at school.

“Get off of me!” I yelled, once again trying to shove him to the side. Huffing in defeat, I accepted my death by freezing my ass off due to a motionless pile of muscles lying on top of me. “Dude, move,” I tried again, and the man winced, sliding to the side.

“I’m so, so sorry,” he whispered, whimpering in ache. “Are you okay?”

“Been better,” I remarked, trying to sit up. However, as soon as I was in a sitting position, I started to feel dizzy – the surroundings just kept spinning in front of my eyes.

“Oh my God, are you okay?” Two men and Yeri scared in unison as they made their way towards us. “It was quite a fall,” one of them added, making me roll my eyes. His friend literally smashed me off the ice like a bulldozer – I wouldn’t call it a fall.

“She’s bleeding,” Yeri mentioned, looking for a bag of single-use handkerchiefs to give me one to aid my problem.

“How many fingers do you see?” the other man leaned over, showing me his palm, and I swatted his hand away with an angry hiss. “You’ve hit her bad, Jungkook. Good luck apologizing to her,” he commented, making it really difficult for me not to kick him in the shin with the blade.

“Is this a joke to you?” Yeri challenged the man, not particularly enjoying his comment. Attagirl! “You better make yourself useful and carry them off the rink,” she ordered sternly, her voice laced with concern.

“Hold on, beautiful,” the shorter one said before he bent to pick me up and wrap his arms around my shoulders to carefully escort me out of the ice rink. Slowly, we staggered to the benches where the man helped me sit down. “I’m Jimin, and you are?”

“In a tremendous amount of pain,” I replied, massaging my head, trying to ease the throbbing. I was about to get a headache of a century, and they kept asking me these stupid questions.

“I’m fine, Hoseok, put me down,” the man, who had smashed into me, complained as his friends dropped him at the bench beside me. “I’ve been through worse,” he groaned, and I gritted my teeth, trying to stop my instinct to cause another scene.

Thankfully, I’ve got Kibum, who would channel his inner Karen to argue for me.

“You stupid fucks, look what you’ve done!” Kibum yelled, hitting Jungkook in the back of his head, making everyone gasp in shock. “What were you thinking, skating this fast? You’re lucky she didn’t end up with a blade stuck in her throat, or else, I’d have to murder you!”

“Guys, stop shouting,” I whispered, barely withstanding the pain. “Can we please go somewhere quiet?”

On cue, Kibum and Yeri went to get my stuff. At the same time, Jungkook’s friends walked away from us to get their belongings, leaving me alone with the villain himself.

“I’m really sorry,” Jungkook apologized once again, being considerate enough to volume down his words. “Come on. Let me help you,” he stood up, offering his hand to escort me out of the tent. Unwillingly, I grabbed his palm, allowing him to save me from random shouts of joy and repetitive Christmas hits.

Once outside, I felt a little bit better, but it was still far from perfect.

“How are you feeling? Should I take you to a hospital?” Jungkook inquired as he looked into my eyes, trying to detect any lie.

“Nah, I’m good. I think I’ll just walk it off,” I shook my head, trying to stand up to demonstrate my current state. Unfortunately, I was still a little bit shaken after the fall, almost collapsing onto the ground. “On a second thought, I’m gonna sit here for a while,” I added, sheepishly, experiencing an unfamiliar feeling of helplessness.

In silence, Jungkook and I started at each other, unsure what to do or say next. We were just two strangers who participated in an accident. Our friends were nowhere to be found, giving zero fucks about the uncomfortable moment between us.

“Should we exchange numbers?” Jungkook suddenly asked, making me crease my eyebrow in confusion. What did he need my phone number for? “When there’s a car accident, both parties exchange contact info to work out a settlement,” Jungkook explained, and I sighed, trying to digest what he just said. Apparently, he wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. “Please, don’t sue me,” he added with a light-hearted giggle to his tone as he sat down on the bench.

“I didn’t plan on doing that, but since you’ve mentioned it, I’ll think about it,” I teased, reaching into my coat’s pocket to get my phone. “Give me your number, I’ll ring you,” I muttered, carefully typing Jungkook’s digits into my device. After a few seconds, Jungkook’s phone vibrated, flashing my number.

“Under what name did you save me?” Jungkook asked in curiosity, looking over my shoulder, cackling when he read totally suing this guy on the screen. “Well… at least you didn’t save me under do not pick up the phone, so that’s a relief,” he added, laughing at his joke.

Though I was a little bit curious how Jungkook saved my number, ultimately, I decided not to entertain this impulse. After all, the chances of him actually calling me were slim, if not none.

“What’s your name?” Jungkook asked, but before I managed to give him a proper reply, Kibum shouted it loud and clear from afar. “Duly noted,” he added with a tiny grin.

Along with Yeri and Jungkook’s friends, he made his way toward us, having the guys carry all our stuff like indebted servants.

“You’ll never guess,” Kibum stated, plopping on the bench beside me. At this point, I wasn’t in the mood for charades, so I just rolled my eyes, failing to accordingly react to Kibum’s attempted suspense.

Thankfully, Yuri chimed in, revealing the big plan. “We’ve talked to the guys, and they proposed to treat all of us to dinner. The race was their idea, so they figured it’s one way to make it up to you for you know what,” Yuri explained, and I sighed.

Hooray!

That’s exactly what I needed, to spend more time with the asshole that slammed into me with the force of a hundred horses.

Perfectly splendid.

“Sure, that sounds amazing,” I replied through gritted teeth, staring at that cheap bastard Kibum. He owed me dinner, so he used his sly manipulation to guilt-trip these naïve boys into treating all of us for a meal.

“See? I told you guys she doesn’t hold grudges against people who provide her with food,” Kibum answered, not surprising me all that much. I was accustomed to his ways. Jungkook, Hoseok, and Jimin, on the other hand, were about to get exploited to Kibum’s heart’s content.

But hey, free food, there’s no way I’d say no to that.

Fifteen minutes later, we were walking down the alley, looking for a restaurant or a diner that was able to provide a table for six. Unfortunately, luck wasn’t on our side.

It was a long stroll. All establishments were either packed with people, or they simply weren’t capable of catering for such a large group like ours.

We didn’t give up, though. In pairs, we walked further, our stomachs growling louder and louder. Hoseok and Jimin were leading the way, chatting about some hockey game somewhat this week. Right behind, Kibum was giving a lecture on relationships to Yeri, being the highly unnecessary third parent to her. And lastly, there was Jungkook and me, awkwardly trailing behind all of them, talking about nothing in particular, unable to find a ground topic for a proper conversation.

At some point, a man in an expensive black coat bumped into me, smashing his shoulder against mine. It was quite a powerful collision on the sidewalk, resulting in me falling right into Jungkook’s arms.

“Hey, watch where the hell you’re going,” I yelled, massaging my limb to ease the soreness, while the man didn’t seem to pay any attention to my angry shout.

“Hey, you should really apologize,” Jungkook hollered at the man, standing up for me. Unfortunately, the man didn’t reflect his misbehavior even after Jungkook stepped in. He barely turned his head around to check what that was about, dismissing it a few seconds later.

“Let it go; he’s not worth it,” I wrapped my hand around Jungkook’s shoulder, stopping him from confronting the rude asshat. “Karma is gonna get him,” I added with a smirk upon my face as I imagined how much cash he had in his wallet – which, in fact, was at the bottom of my pocket right now.

It ought to teach him a lesson.

“It’s your unlucky day,” Jungkook admitted, feeling sorry for my misfortune.

“Well… it’s not that bad,” I assured Jungkook with a happy beam, realizing my mistake the second the words left my mouth. Fantastic, I was just enthusiastic about the cash I found lying all over the ground. However, now, Jungkook must’ve thought I was into him.

Dear Lord, save me from this misunderstanding.

Before Jungkook managed to question my ambiguous comment, Jimin and Hoseok shouted. Apparently, they found a restaurant with a large enough table to fit us all.

At last!

Once inside, we quickly sat down, ready to skim through the menus. Honestly, we were all hungry way past the I-need-my-food-tasty stage, so we decided to order two giant pizzas and six pints of Christmas Ale beer.

“I think we should play a game before our food arrives,” Jimin proposed as he looked at the people by the table, not appreciating the awkwardness. Within Jimin were two wolves – one was a social butterfly, and the other was a people pleaser. Sitting in an uncomfortable silence irked him immensely. “How about a little integration, anybody?”

“You have to excuse him,” Hoseok interjected, trying to calm the angry crowd of grownups. “Jimin’s going to be a counselor on a hockey camp during the winter break, and sometimes, he forgets he’s not talking with middle-school pupils.”

“You’re never too old for some good old bonding,” Jimin fought his case, really keen on getting to know us better. “Especially over some beer,” he added when the waitress walked up to our table with our beverages.

Though none of us wanted to participate in Jimin’s fun activities, we eventually gave in, realizing his persistence was even more energy-draining than the bonding games themselves.

The rules were simple, you had to name three finds you love and three things you hate. Jimin went first, and it was actually quite funny to see the contrast between him and Kibum, who was the second to speak up.

“I love Mexican food, horror movies, and money,” I confessed when it was my turn, having no regrets. After all, we would never meet again. “I hate banana milk, wireless earphones, and doing laundry,” I added, completing the horrid task, making everyone at the table grow silent. Cocking my brow upward, I asked, “what?”

“Nothing,” Hoseok replied, still trying to comprehend the situation. “It’s just unbelievable.”

With each syllable that rolled off Hoseok’s tongue, I knew less and less. What the hell was going on? Could somebody explain to me what the fuss was all about?

“Basically, Jungkook loves all the things you hate,” Jimin finally explained, making Kibum cackle in entertainment.

“Ooh-la-la, the plot thickens,” Kibum snickered, laughing loudly, kicking his head backward.

“Ignore him. He’s just being a drama queen for no reason,” I interjected, ignoring Kibum’s ridiculous reaction.

“Guys, look, the food is ready,” Yeri said in excitement upon seeing our waitress walking toward us with delicious pizza in her hands. “I am so hungry,” she added, rubbing her hands together, licking her lips with appetite.

Thankfully, the rest of the evening went smoothly. After the beer and the food, the conversation sailed without any disturbance, everybody chiming in once in a while. A friendly atmosphere surrounded us, but we all felt it was the first and final meeting. Our groups had completely different vibes, and though we had somewhat fun, there was no point in forcing this friendship any further.

In an amicable mood, we parted ways.

Having dropped Yeri at her dorm, Kibum and I took an Uber to our shared apartment.

“I am dying,” I complained, stretching my arms as soon as I walked through the threshold of our comfy place. Having hung the coat, I fished out the stolen wallet. “I deserved a long bath,” I added, plopping down onto the couch, looking through the content of my newest possession.

“You really have to stop doing that. You’re gonna get caught one time,” Kibum mentioned as he sat down beside me, tearing the wallet out of my hands, browsing through the loyalty cards, looking for a bargain. “When did you even steal it? I was by your side the whole time,” Kibum wondered as he found a coupon for a free coffee amongst the plastic cards.

“You know what they say,” I started, counting the cash in my hands – almost two hundred bucks, not bad. “The first million is the hardest and is meant to be stolen,” I finished my thought, putting the cash into my purse.

“First of all, nobody has ever said that,” Kibum argued, groaning. It wasn’t the first time we had this conversation; at this point, we had this pep talk rehearsed to perfection. “You’re pushing your luck here. One day you’ll pick the wrong pocket.”

“What do you want me to say? I can’t stop now,” sighing, I replied. Maybe in the future, once I land a stable job with an adequate wage, I’ll quit. In this economy, it may be quite challenging, but that’s the goal. Right now, I was as poor as a church mouse, barely getting by each month on my level of living.

“I’m gonna be so pissed if the police catch you,” Kibum complained, giving up on his daily lecture. Trying to convince me was a vicious circle. Kibum felt as if he was trapped in some lame remake of Groundhog Day, only failing at knocking some common sense into his friend’s stubborn head.

“Take it easy. They won’t,” I mused with a light-hearted smile. “If you’re forgotten, you’re like super old. You’ll get bald if you keep worrying so much.”

“That’s a low blow,” Kibum mentioned, frowning in annoyance. Ever since he reached the dreadful thirty mark, it was his biggest insecurity. “Alright then,” he carried on, ready to attack me with just as strong jab. “What about Jungkook?”

“What about him?”

“You’ve had a moment.”

“What moment?” I inquired, pretending to be way clueless than I really was. “If, by moment, you mean that he basically nailed me into the ice, then yes.”

“You should’ve given him your phone number,” Kibum commented casually, and I turned my head around, avoiding his gaze. “Oh my, you actually gave it, I knew it,” he realized, looking right through me. “Finally, you need some. Later on, maybe he’ll talk you out of your bad habits,” Kibum carried on, blabbering nonsense.

“Don’t you think you’re getting way ahead of yourself?” I questioned, folding my arms over my chest. “I guess Jungkook’s a good guy, but he ain’t gonna call me.”

“You never know,” Kibum reasoned, and I sighed, walking away to the bathroom to run myself a relaxing bath, which was all that I needed.

3 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS

It was a terrible day.

First of all, I was still a bit sore after the ice rink accident. Then, I tried strolling along the bustling alleys, picking a few pockets. Unfortunately, people didn’t carry that much cash.

Having stolen three wallets, I only collected fifty bucks.

That was pathetic.

Sighing, I decided to call it a day.

Kibum would be so proud of me, I thought as I made my way to a random coffee shop, wanting to accidentally lose one of the wallets. That way, the rightful owner would have a chance of actually finding it if he decided to trace back his steps.

On my walk of shame back home, my phone randomly stopped playing music. Instantly, I furrowed my eyebrows, trying to fish it out of my pocket, knowing there was an incoming call waiting to be answered.

Normally, I’d either ignore it because I knew it was a spam call or just ignore it because I preferred texts to calls. Whoever opted to dial must’ve been devil’s spawn. No doubt.

Totally suing this guy.

Hmm… what does he want? I wondered as my thumb hovered over the answer icon on the screen. I wasn’t serious about suing him; it was just me teasing the poor guy. I didn’t actually mean it, and I thought it was obvious.

Before I managed to make up my mind about picking up the phone, Jungkook must’ve given up and hung up. Unfortunately, right when I was about to put it back in my pocket, I received another incoming call.

Totally suing this guy.

“Hello?” I asked, picking up the phone. Hopefully, he would check up on me and end the conversation. It was weird and uncomfortable, so it better be the last time.

“Hi, it’s Jungkook,” he said, sounding somewhat shy and timid. “From the ice rink, how are you feeling?” Jungkook inquired, and I sighed, getting mentally prepared for my reply.

“I’m better,” I answered shortly, not giving him any details on my condition. It was just a few bruises; I wasn’t dying. “Your knee left a bruise, but in a few days, I’m gonna feel all good,” I added, remembering the large mark on my thigh. It looked like a big ass hickey, but that’s the comment I was about to keep to myself.

“I’m really, really sorry,” he spoke through a tumult on his side of the call. He must’ve been in a crowded place, like a locker room packed with fellow hockey players or something. A second later, I heard a noise of shutting the doors close, assuming Jungkook must’ve left the room, wanting to continue this talk without any further disturbance.

“Don’t worry, I’m fine,” I reassured that he cared so him. It was adorable much about my condition, but it was starting to feel a little bit excessive. A regular amount of repentance would be understandable, but he was quite over the top.

“Actually, it’s not why I’m calling,” Jungkook admitted, taking me aback. Why else would he call then? “It was just an excuse,” he added, and I genuinely started to wonder what was going on inside his head. He didn’t want to ask me out, did he?

Nah, it didn’t make any sense.

Get a grip, woman.

“Oh, why are you calling me then?” I challenged him as I couldn’t wait any longer for the big reveal. “What is so important that couldn’t be a simple text?”

“Well…,” Jungkook started, and I smiled, hearing in his tone that he was beaming. “To be completely honest, I really suck at texting. One time, I texted back my friend after a few months, so yeah, I’d rather call,” he explained, and though that’s not my preferred way of communicating, I found it adorable.

“Nobody’s perfect.”

“So, I was wondering if you’d like to hang out,” Jungkook asked, and I became speechless.

“Really? Why?” I questioned as I couldn’t find any reason why Jungkook would like to meet up with me. Yesterday, I had been grumpy as fuck – it was hard to believe he wanted to see my face ever again.

“What do you mean why?”

“I wasn’t particularly nice to you yesterday,” I admitted, looking down at my feet.

“You were just angry, it happens,” Jungkook claimed, once again surprising me – he wasn’t just good-looking. Besides his gorgeous looks, he, most importantly, was a kind, soft-spoken person with a heart of gold.

“Yeah, but still, I was an asshole.”

“No, it must’ve been that spur-of-the-moment kind of attitude,” Jungkook brushed it off without my thought, and I sighed in relief. Thankfully, he didn’t think I was a complete bitch. “I would be pissed too if someone tackled me down at a public ice rink.”

“Could we please stop talk about it?” I proposed, willing to put it all behind us.

“Sorry,” Jungkook apologized sheepishly, and I giggled, shaking my head, unable to process how adorable he was. “So, back to the topic, I was wondering if you’d like to come to that charity hockey game tomorrow,” he trailed off, a little bit insecure about my answer. “And after that, we could grab some coffee. I mean, if you don’t have any plans, I’d really like to meet up,” Jungkook added, sounding like a ball of a blabbering mess.

“Hmm… tomorrow, I am busy in the morning and early afternoon. What time does the game begin?” I questioned, buying myself more time to think over Jungkook’s proposition. He was a good guy, and I’d love to hang out, but I still had doubts.

“At three o’clock!” Jungkook exclaimed in excitement, probably hoping I was available to attend this charity event. “We’re raising money for a winter camp for kids from St. Paul’s orphanage. That’s the one Jimin’s gonna volunteer at.”

Now, there was no way I could say no.

“I should be free by then,” I answered, hoping I wouldn’t regret my decision later on.

“Fantastic, see you tomorrow,” Jungkook exclaimed happily, and I giggled at his enthusiasm.

“Ayo, Jeon, what are you giggling at?” Someone in the background hollered, teasing Jungkook. Though I thought it was cute and playful, Jungkook must’ve felt so embarrassed that he hung up before I managed to say my farewell.

2 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS

According to Jungkook’s instructions, the charity game out to start around 3 in the afternoon. A bit too early if you ask me, but who am I to judge the authorities who organized it? Nonetheless, I put on a nice outfit (effortless though chic) and made my way to the university’s stadium, ready to sit through the entirety of the game, already suspecting it wouldn’t appeal to my preferences. It was far too brutal to be enjoyable.

I had no interest in hockey, nor even knew the basics; however, Jungkook wanted me out of all people to support him. Normally, I’d skip, but there was just something about him that made it really difficult to say no to him. There I was – on university grounds during the holiday break, heading to the sports department where I had never stepped my foot willingly.

It was a charity event our university annually hosted. To be completely honest, it was the first time I heard of it. Moreover, there was a high chance I wasn’t the only one. Right in front of the entrance, there was no queue – I was the only one, and it was suspicious as fuck.

Unless I had first-hand info about the beginning of the game, I would just turn around and leave. However, Jungkook had specifically said 3 p.m., so I walked up to the entrance, seeing a man distributing tickets. He must’ve been one of the volunteering students. Admirable.

With a deep sigh, I pushed the doors open and entered the building. “One ticket, please,” I spoke, pulling out my wallet to pay for the entry fee. It was all for charity, so I gladly paid up the round sum. These kids really deserved a treat, and I’d love to contribute.

“You’re the first one to arrive; you must be a hardcore fan of our hockey team,” the friendly man said, and I just giggled at this obvious misconception.

Me? A fan? A hardcore one at that? Wow.

“I wouldn’t say that. I’m here to support a friend,” I answered, denying the accusations with a casual response. “Where should I go?”

“Right this way, the first doors on the left,” the man answered with a happy beam. “Seats are not assigned, so be free to sit anywhere you like,” he added, and I bowed, thanking him for the directions. Though I was near graduation, I had no idea how to move around the building.

Having pushed the heavy doors open, I made my way to the bleachers.

A few players were skating across the ice rink, while the area for spectators was empty. As if that wasn’t awkward enough, all the players looked at me, whistling like a bunch of starved wolves. What the hell was that all about?

Ooh! Ooh!

“Wow, Jungkook, this girl really came,” one of the boys, probably Hoseok, shouted loud enough for me to hear. What? Did Jungkook talk about me with his teammates? What for? Or did they listen to us chat on the phone the other day? Even so, what’s with the reaction?

At first, I wanted to turn around and run away. I didn’t like the way they looked at me. It resembled a combination of concern for their younger teammate and playful support for whatever was about to stem between us. Ridiculous!

Then, I considered sitting in the last row, ignoring their curious glances. I’d probably pull a book out of my bag and devote myself to the plot for the duration of the game.

Unfortunately, none of my ideas seemed to be possible – especially not when one of the players with number 1 written on the sports uniform skated toward the railing. It must’ve been Jungkook. I mean… who else would that be?

Once he took off his helmet, I realized that my suspicion was right. It was indeed Jungkook with his messy, sweaty hair and a goofy smile upon his face. He was waving at me, enticing me closer to the ice rink.

“You really came,” Jungkook whispered when I walked up to him. “I really doubted you did,” he added, and I rolled my eyes at him.

“If I didn’t, you would keep calling me,” I answered playfully, still unable to comprehend how, on earth, he preferred calling to texting. It was ridiculous; he couldn’t be that bad at replying as he had claimed. “And also, why am I here this soon? Where is everybody? Care to explain?” I asked, my tone slightly laced with anger.

“Did I really say 3 o’clock?” Jungkook inquired innocently, staring at the big clock on the scoreboard. “My bad, I fucked it up, sorry,” Jungkook apologized, but I suspected his words weren’t entirely genuine. Apparently, he wanted me to come this soon, and I had to figure out why.

“Also, care to explain why your teammates stare at me like that,” I questioned, cocking my eyebrow, looking past Jungkook’s shoulder. The hockey team really seemed to be invested in what was going on between Jungkook and me, and I didn’t like the way they were gawking at me as if I had two heads growing out on my shoulders.

“Oh, I might’ve got caught talking to you yesterday,” he mentioned as if I didn’t already suspect that. “Apparently, I looked like an embodiment of teenage crush, and they keep teasing me about it. I am sorry if they creep you out,” Jungkook explained, and I beamed, thinking it was actually pretty cute.

“They’re your friends; that’s what friends do.”

“Hey, Jeon, quit flirting and get your ass on the rink. We’ve all gotta warm-up,” the coach hollered, urging Jungkook to return to his teammates. Though it was just an out of the season game, their coach didn’t want to lose anyway.

“Good luck, Jeon,” I whispered, shooing him away from me, really trying to give him a chance for a proper warm-up before the match. “Don’t let anyone tackle you down. It’s not that pleasant,” I added with an encouraging smile.

“I got it,” Jungkook spoke, sending me a cute wink.

Just as I asked him to, Jungkook skated away, only to come back around ten seconds later.

“By the way, you’ve got any plans after the game?” Jungkook asked, waiting for my answer with utter impatience. “I thought maybe we could grab something to eat.”

“Well… that depends,” I replied, and Jungkook cocked up his eyebrow.

“Depends on what?”

“Ask me again after you win the game,” I teased, giving him some extra motivation to try his best on the rink. “Go, they’re waiting.”

And with that, Jungkook finally got his head in the game.

The coach shouts tips and occasionally scolds players that aren’t on their best performance. In the meantime, people fill up the seats on the bleachers, excited to see the match and open their wallets for the laudable cause.

By the time the match finally begins, I am bored out of my mind. I gave hockey a fair shot, but it didn’t raise my interest in the tiniest bit. It just wasn’t my thing.

Thankfully, I had a newly purchased book in my bag to pass the time. It was just a Christmas themed erotica with a half-naked Santa with a six-pack on the cover. It wasn’t anything promising, but the holidays were around the corner, so maybe it’d put me in the right mood.

Though I didn’t have high hopes for the novel, it felt disappointing. The plot was cliché, and the pace was too rushed, but nonetheless, I’d still choose it over a hockey game. Contact sports weren’t really my thing, especially when it was giving me PTSD.

From time to time, my eyes would locate Jungkook on the rink. He was really out there, showing off his talents, making people gawk in admiration. He was one of the best players in his team, scoring goal after goal. Or whatever they score in hockey.

It was an even match, but ultimately, our team won by two points.

“On children’s behalf, I’d like to thank everybody for coming,” a woman in smart clothing spoke through the microphone. It must’ve been the orphanage director showing her gratitude for all the money they had managed through the ticket sale. “My heart really melts when I see how many people decided to help our children, especially in this difficult time of the year,” she recited, putting the microphone away from her mouth before a grateful tear rolled down her cheek. “Thank you so much!”

Shortly after, she handed the microphone to Jungkook’s coach.

“Hi, everybody, I’m coach Min,” he introduced himself, and the spectators clapped their hands in gratitude for leading the team towards victory. “I’d like to thank everybody for donating the money. I hope the kids will enjoy their winter break,” he added, looking at the crowd, proud of so many people gathered to support the cause. “However, if you’d like to contribute, even more, my team will wait outside with boxes. With this extra money, we would like to buy Christmas gifts for these amazing kids. I wish you all – Merry Christmas.”

Another round of applause echoed among the walls before people slowly started to head towards the exit. Taking my time, I followed the crowd, looking for Jungkook. It was difficult; people were feeling generous today.

“Over here,” I heard somebody call my name, so I turned around, recognized Jimin. He was standing a few meters away with a heavy box stuffed with cash. “Would you like to make some children happy?” Jimin asked, placing the box right under my nose, wanting me to contribute some more. “What do you say?”

Although I had already paid the entry fee, I still wanted to give more. All the goodness I had witnessed at the stadium pulled my heartstrings; it was impossible to say no now. Once I started, I just couldn’t stop.

With a genuine smile, I pulled out my wallet. I had plenty of cash in it. Everything I had stolen during this week. It was about four hundred bucks. Without a slimmer of doubt, the team would spend it wisely. Better than I ever could.

“Are you sure? It’s a lot of money,” Jimin asked, wondering if I was in the right state of mind donating so much.

“Yes, I am sure,” I confirmed, giving all of the money away. The feeling was deliberating, and it was really nice. “Oh my God, Jimin! What are you doing?” I asked in panic when Jimin put the box on the ground and picked me up, spinning around.

“Ahem,” someone cleared their throat before continuing, “am I interrupting something?” A familiar voice asked, making Jimin drop me down. Thankfully, I didn’t stumble. Somehow I found my balance before I hit my face against the pavement.

“Oh, Jungkook,” Jimin whispered, smiling awkwardly, almost as if we were caught cheating. “It’s not what it looks like,” he started, and I rolled my eyes. Literally, it was the worst phrasing he could choose, especially given the reputation this line holds. “I was just showing my gratitude after her generous donation.”

“Let’s just go,” I interjected before Jimin managed to embarrass me even more. With a smile upon my face, I grabbed Jungkook’s box and handed it over to Jimin. “Take care of that, okay?” I said, grabbing Jungkook’s hand, pulling him away from the campus ground.

Since it was quite chilly outside, Jungkook and I decided to grab drinks at the campus café. Having taken seats by the window in the back, we looked through menus to choose something delicious for our little informal date.

“Order anything you like; it’s my treat,” Jungkook mentioned before he proceeded to look through the menu. “You were my lucky charm today.”

“Well… of course, it’s your treat. I gave all my money away to charity,” I spoke, looking through the tea section for something I haven’t had before. “I’d like vanilla cinnamon tea,” I read out loud the position off the menu that really caught my attention.

“On it,” he added before he walked up to the counter to order. In a minute, he was back at the table, sitting comfortably at the other side of the table. “So… you and Jimin, huh?”

“Speaking of which, what kind of jealousy scene was that?” I inquired, teasing him for completely misunderstanding this situation.

“Sorry for that,” Jungkook apologized sheepishly, looking away. “It’s just it was so unexpected. I mean… you don’t know Jimin that well, and acting like that was quite strange,” Jungkook explained, and I nodded, trying to understand his reaction.

“Jimin’s cute. Is he single?” I asked, and Jungkook frowned upon my question, visibly upset with my wording. “What I meant is that I have a friend. I have a feeling they would click, you know,” I clarified, giggling when I saw relief wash through Jungkook.

“In that case, he’s very single,” Jungkook gladly answered, smiling brightly like an idiot. “After the last girl he was seeing dumped him a few months ago, he didn’t date. Maybe it’s about time he gets back to it,” he added, and I nodded, scribbling down my friend’s number on a piece of paper, sliding it over to Jungkook, believing he would pass it to Jimin.

“So… what are your plans for Christmas Eve?” I asked when the barista brought our order to the table. Apparently, Jungkook is quite a sweet-tooth. Beside my tea, he ordered a large cup of hot cocoa with roasted marshmallows on top along with four beautifully decorated cupcakes. I got cavities just by looking at it.

“I’m going Christmas shopping,” Jungkook answered, licking off some whipped cream off the pink cupcake. “I gotta buy gifts for the kids,” he added, and I smiled at the boy in front of me. Although I knew him only for two days, he kept surprising me.

In a good way, of course.

“Do you have any idea what I can get them?” Jungkook inquired, stuffing his mouth with the cupcake, enjoying his sweet treat. “There’s like thirty-five of them. I am clueless.”

“I don’t know… board games? Art supplies? Lego blocks? I’m sure you’ll figure this out,” I replied, suspecting I wasn’t much of a help.

“You could always come and join me,” Jungkook proposed, reaching for another cupcake. “I could use some help,” he added, pushing the tray with sugary treats towards me.

“I’d love to, but I will be at work, sorry,” I answered truthfully, now kind of regretting replying to that ad on Craigslist. “I’m babysitting tomorrow. Parents of three go on some business trip, and I have to watch them until their grandparents take over,” I explained, and Jungkook nodded, sipping his hot cocoa.

“Any plans after that?”

“I’ll just come back home and watch some Christmas movies on Netflix. This year, I don’t have time to go to my hometown. I gotta go to work as soon as Christmas is over,” I explained with a deep sigh. Although I wasn’t exceptionally family-oriented, it still felt a little bit odd to spend Christmas alone. “What about you?”

“My parents finally saved up enough money for the second honeymoon they always wanted to go, so there’s no real celebration this year,” Jungkook mentioned, showing real support for his parents. If that’s what they really wanted, he didn’t want to be a burden. “I’m really happy for them. Raising me and my brother wasn’t easy, so that’s the least we can do.”

“That’s really sweet of you,” I commented, wondering about Jungkook, his family, and their customs. “We could hang out tomorrow evening if you want to,” I proposed, and Jungkook beamed in utter joy, almost as if he waited for my offer.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Jungkook admitted, grinning like a child. “Come on, have some cupcake. I bought them for us.”

“I’m fine with my tea,” I replied, raising the cup to my mouth, taking a tiny sip. “I’m full just by looking at you eat,” I added, encouraging Jungkook to devour the rest of the goodies.

As if I didn’t know already, Jungkook proved to me one more time how charming he was. Though we had different opinions on some topics, we also had a lot in common.

This date was really informative. For example, I had no idea that Jungkook only plays in the hockey team for the scholarship. His true passion is photography and directing, and it’s actually his major. Moreover, he shared how much he likes to sings in the shower, for which he often gets teased by fellow teammates.

Maybe our first meeting was a tragedy, but the more time I spent with him, I began to realize that it was actually worth it to take this fall.

CHRISTMAS EVE

“My parents should arrive around seven,” the mother of three boys announced when she finally found a second to talk to me. “Jin is ten, Namjoon is eight, and Taehyung is five,” she added when the boys ran across the corridor, chasing one another.

“They’re adorable,” I commented, though I didn’t really mean it. I had no idea how the kids would behave when their parents would walk out the door.

“My sweet little angels,” she said with a deep sigh, feeling a bit sad that she had to leave her children alone on Christmas day. Unfortunately, whatever they had to tend to at work was way more important than spending holidays with their children. “How much money do I owe you?” She asked, being unaware of the amount her husband put on the advertisement.

“Five hundred,” I answered, and she nodded her head, giving me the correct amount.

Thankfully, the kids weren’t all that troublesome.

After their parents left for the airport, the children were a loud mess playing some console games. As long as they didn’t want me to participate in their fun activities, I didn’t mind the noise. I’d just simply wait for the grandparents to arrive.

Just two more hours; I can handle that.

“Can I have some candy?” Taehyung asked cutely, holding a bag of jelly beans in his hands. Usually, I’d say no. Kids tend to be hyperactive on the sugar rush. I didn’t want to have to deal with it, but then, I was quite impressed that he even bothered to ask for permission.

“Of course, sweetie, it’s Christmas,” I replied, tearing the packaging for him.

After the boys got bored, they wanted to play some board games with me. I wasn’t particularly interested in interacting with them but ultimately decided to join in. It’s been a while since I destroyed someone at Monopoly, so I might as well do it now.

Just one more hour; it’s almost over.

The boys had a particularly short attention span. The average game of Monopoly should take at least two hours – Jin, Namjoon, and Taehyung returned to their previous shenanigans, running around and screaming at one another maybe twenty minutes into the game.

Just when I was about to yell at them to keep quiet, I heard my phone ring. Under these circumstances, it was a blessing. At this point, I’d diligently answer all the questions the spam caller wanted to ask me. I was desperate for some interaction with an adult.

Having locked myself inside the bathroom, I answered the call, enjoying a little bit of peace and quiet. “Hello?” I asked, waiting for Jungkook to brighten my day.

“Hi, there,” he spoke cheerfully, “all gifts are bought and wrapped,” he added, proud of his today’s achievements. “What time do you finish up?”

“In an hour or maybe earlier,” I answered, looking at the wristwatch.

“Do you want me to pick you up? We could take a walk, and then just go with the flow,” Jungkook proposed, and I immediately said yes as I couldn’t wait for him to show up and rescue me from these children.

“I’d actually love that. I’ll text you the address,” I spoke, biting my bottom lip in excitement. One more hour and I’d walk away with five hundred bucks in my wallet.

When the clock struck seven o’clock, the grandparents were nowhere to be seen. They were running late, and I was growing impatient. Jungkook would be here any minute, and I wanted to leave. I tried calling their parents but to no avail. They must’ve already boarded the plane.

This situation was helpless – they were just little boys, I couldn’t leave them alone.

Thirty minutes later, I heard the bell. In a hurry, I opened the doors, wishing to see the grandparents on the other side. Unfortunately, much to my dismay, it was just Jungkook.

“Shall we go now?” Jungkook asked, eyeing me from head to toe, biting his lip. “Wow, you look amazing,” he added, and I stared down at my outfit consisting of a cute tight purple turtleneck, a short black skirt, and a pair of warm tights.

“I can’t go yet. Their grandparents aren’t here, and I don’t have a way of calling them,” I explained, and Jungkook sighed, taking off his shoes, willing to help me babysit.

“What is he doing here,” Jin asked, as he folded his arms around his chest, judging me for inviting someone to their household.

“He’s my friend who was supposed to pick me up after I’m done here, and since your grandparents are getting late, he’s staying, so be nice to him.”

“Whatever,” he grumped before running to the living room, joining his brothers on the couch.

We tried watching a movie. However, once again, the boys couldn't focus enough to last to the end of it. Then, I realized I royally fucked up by giving them sugar earlier. They wanted to play hide and seek, and I agreed with a tired sigh.

Unwillingly, I turned around to face the wall. I closed my eyes and began counting, giving them more than enough time to find the perfect hiding spot.

“Three, two, one,” I hollered, making sure they heard me.

The apartment was suspiciously silent and pretty dark. I could definitely feel that weird vibe often present in horror movies. First of all, I checked all the hiding spots in the living room. Then, when I was about to enter the corridor, I felt a presence behind me. Before I managed to react, a hand snaked around my body, covering my mouth, muffling my unexpected screams.

In a second, the person turned me around. I should’ve figured it out it was Jungkook. With a goofy smile, he mentioned me to remain quiet.

“What are you doing? This is not how you play this game,” I whispered, giving him a lecture, but Jungkook only laughed at my reaction.

“Look, they’re finally quiet. You should take your time finding the kids,” Jungkook suggested, and I hummed in agreement. He was right – I should cherish the silence. He was a genius. “Shh…,” he added, pressing his forefinger against his perfect lips.

Maybe the atmosphere wasn’t perfect, but I just couldn’t help myself. We were standing there in the dark, completely still. I couldn’t fight this temptation.

Acting out of my urge, I took a step forward and gave him a chaste kiss. It was a delicate brush of my lips against his, but it was just perfect. And apparently, I wasn’t the only one who enjoyed this innocent form of affection.

The moment I pulled away, Jungkook grinned, placing his hands on my hips. Staring down at me, he yanked me against his firm body, leaning forward for another kiss. Tenderly, his mouth moved, feeling my lips.

Within seconds, the kiss became even more passionate. Smiling, Jungkook began to nibble on the sensitive skin of my lips, and I hummed in pleasure. With my arms wrapped around his neck, I opened my mouth slightly, allowing him to deepen the kiss.

“Fuck,” Jungkook loudly cursed as he bit my bottom lip, making me shriek in pain. At first, I thought he was just getting turned on, but then I realized what happened. It was Taehyung. He was standing right beside Jungkook, smiling as if he did something inappropriate. “He bit me!” Jungkook exclaimed, massaging his thigh, trying to ease the pain.

“He bit you?” I asked, being confused as ever. “Is that true, Taehyung?” I questioned the boy, but instead of answering me, he ran away to another room, chuckling like a maniac. Now, that was odd. “What is going on?”

The grandparents were supposed to arrive over an hour ago; I was losing my patience here.

“This kid bit me,” Jungkook carried on, unable to comprehend this entire situation. Well… he wasn’t the only one who couldn’t wrap his head around this. What the fuck was wrong with them? “What is this?” Jungkook asked as he felt something on this thigh. “Ew, it’s his tooth!”

That was enough.

It was about time I set up some rules.

“Let’s find them, meet me in the living room in five minutes,” I ordered before we split up to search more ground. The boys were getting out of hand, and they had to be stopped. For the love of God, Taehyung bit Jungkook!

“Have you found them?” Jungkook hollered, and I shook my head.

They vanished.

“I know it’s very irresponsible, but how about ditching this place?” I offered, even though I already knew the answer. They were just kids; we couldn’t just walk out, leaving them alone.

“It’s tempting, but we shouldn’t do that,” Jungkook spoke, regretting making the adult decision. “Isn’t that Namjoon?” He asked, and I turned to look where he was pointing at.

“Wait there, young man!” I yelled, storming out of the room, following Namjoon. The second I turned to the left, Namjoon was nowhere to be seen. It was weird; he must’ve run into one of the rooms. Unfortunately, before I managed to make up my mind, which room I should check first, someone pushed me onto the ground. It made me fall on my knees, painfully bruising them. “What the fuck?” I looked behind my shoulder, seeing Jin bolt off to the living room.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook asked in concern as he approached me, helping me stand up. “What is wrong with them?”

“I have no idea. The boys seemed fine earlier,” I spoke, seeing Taehyung run towards us. In a matter of seconds, he jumped at Jungkook, wrapping his hands around his neck, dangling off his back. “Hold still,” I ordered, but Jungkook was in panic, afraid of earning another wound.

I wanted to peel the kid off Jungkook’s back, but there was something wrong with Taehyung. Though he was a good boy, right now, there was something inhuman about him. He behaved like a wild animal with rabies, and it crept me out as fuck.

Jungkook smashed his back against the wall, hoping Taehyung would loosen the grip around his neck. At this moment, Jungkook felt as if the little boy was strangling him.

Unfortunately, the impact didn’t do much help.

Then I saw it. There must’ve been something really wrong with them. Taehyung’s eyes were all black with a few black veins around them, making him look extra creepy.

“Fuck this shit, let’s go,” I yanked Jungkook’s arm, wanting to get the hell away from this apartment. There was something wrong with them, and it wasn’t a part of my job to find out what. I was about to babysit them until seven o’clock and leave.

It wasn’t a part of the deal.

“We can’t leave,” Jungkook argued, but I didn’t want to listen.

“We’ll call the police,” I spoke, desperately trying to convince Jungkook to escape this trap. “They’ll send someone here to check up on them,” I added, running to the living room to get my bag. “Let’s go before I drag you out of here.” Maybe my words sounded like a threat, but it successfully made Jungkook move.

“It’s locked,” Jungkook said when he tried to pull the doors open. Though I didn’t lock it after Jungkook’s entrance, the doors wouldn’t budge now. “Do you have a key?”

Trapped inside the apartment, we looked at each other. None of us knew what to do next.

Then, the lights went out.

As if we weren’t already crept out.

“What is the plan?” Jungkook inquired, searching for my hand to hold onto something.

“Stay calm,” I answered, not realizing that quoting the office wasn’t the best idea at the moment. “You try everything to open the doors. Kungfu the shit out of them if you have to,” I ordered, and Jungkook hummed in understanding. “I’ll distract the kids.”

It wasn’t the wisest decision to make, but somebody had to do it. I wasn’t exceptionally proud of myself, but what could a bunch of weird kids do to me?

“Be careful,” Jungkook whispered before I turned on the torch on my phone, looking for the kids around the apartment.

They had to be hiding in one of the rooms. Having taken a confident sigh, I pushed one of the doors open, stepping into Namjoon’s bedroom. The space was spotless, and it was hard to believe it was one of the children’s rooms.

“Game over, Namjoon,” I spoke, urging him to show himself. “You won,” I added, as I kneeled on the carpet to check if he was hiding under the bed. He wasn’t there. “It’s not funny,” I exclaimed, marching towards the closet, anxious about opening it.

It had to be done, though.

Abruptly, I opened the closet, hoping I’d be the first to react if it was indeed Namjoon’s hiding spot. Unfortunately, I wasn’t. Before I managed to prepare myself, Namjoon pushed me, making me painfully fall on my back.

“You little fucker,” I yelled, groaning in pain, earning probably another big ass bruise. “You’re gonna regret that,” I added, unable to control my anger any longer. I was getting easy on them, but it was enough. Now, I’d punch them in the face if I had to.

Namjoon was staring down at me with these creepy black eyes of a demon. His eyes studied my movement, almost as if he was a predator, waiting for the best moment to strike its prey. Then he screeched, jumping right at me in an attempt to bite me.

This time around, however, my reflexes were quicker. Before Namjoon landed on top of me, I rolled to the side, kicking him in his stomach, sending him flying across the room. I couldn’t believe I just did that, but when Namjoon stood up as if nothing happened, I understood I had to go all the way if I wanted to make it out alive.

Quickly, I jumped to my feet, determined to Bruce Lee kick the devil’s spawn into another dimension with my close-to-none self-defense skills. Women in stress could pick up cars, and I had to beat up an eight-year-old.

I could handle it.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Bouncing on my legs like on the ready mode in a fighting game, I stared at my opponent. Namjoon was the first to attack, and I just jumped at the side, not wanting to get bitten. Unfortunately, Namjoon still managed to scratch my arm, drawing blood.

“You’re dead,” I threatened when I saw that he tore the sleeve of my favorite turtleneck. With anger in my eyes, I approached him, throwing punches left and right. My fists collided against Namjoon’s jaw, but no matter how much force I used, it didn’t seem to have any impact on him. He didn’t feel any pain, and it pissed me off.

With a hiss, Namjoon jumped at me, wrapping his hands and arms around my torso. His mouth was dangerously close to my throat, so in a state of complete panic, I started to spin around, trying to shake him off of me.

Now, Namjoon’s room was a complete mess – especially when I walked into a mirror, smashing it into a thousand pieces. Namjoon and I were rolling in the broken glass, earning plenty of tiny cuts across our bodies.

“That’s enough,” I warned him as I spat blood on the carpet. “Say hello to Satan for me, will you?” I added before I pushed him out of the window without any regrets. Namjoon kept screaming, but when his tiny body smashed against the pavement, the peculiar screeching finally stopped. “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker,” I whispered, unable to control myself.

I just killed a kid, and the first thing that came to my mind was quoting Die Hard.

It wasn’t the time for celebration. There were still two children running around the apartment.

Looking around Namjoon’s room, I found a baseball bat. That’ll do, I thought to myself as I stared at my new-found weapon.

“Jungkook!” I shouted.

Once I was in the corridor, I saw the doors. They were open, but Jungkook was out of sight. Did he seriously ditch me here alone? No, it wasn’t possible. Jungkook would never do that.

The boys must’ve done something to him.

One by one, I checked all the rooms, but I found nothing. It almost felt as if I was alone in this creepy apartment.

“Cut the crap, boys,” I hollered, ready to smack anybody in the face with my baseball bat. I was done playing games. I just wanted to go home and wrap myself in blankets in front of a television. “Come out! I don’t have the whole day,” I added, looking around.

I was on high alert. Adrenaline and other hormones were running through my veins, enhancing my senses. Then I heard it – the sound was coming from the staircase. Quickly, I ran out of the apartment, checking the reason behind this commotion.

It was a yellow ball. Somebody must’ve thrown it. Leaning over the railing, I looked up, trying to spot the villain behind this prank. Then I heard giggles. It must’ve been Taehyung.

“Get down here, right now,” I ordered, but the boy didn’t listen. “You’re going to be so dead when I get up there,” I warned, skipping two steps at a time, climbing the stairs.

On the top of the stairs, Taehyung was sitting comfortably, playing with a yo-yo. His face was stretched into a creepy smile, and in all honesty, it gave me chills.

“Get down here,” I repeated myself, but Taehyung didn’t even budge. “Where is Jungkook? What did you do to him?” I asked and received no answer.

Angrily, I walked upstairs, swinging my baseball bat around. Taehyung tried to mess with me with his yo-yo, but I managed to catch the toy and pull it out of his hands.

Like a maniac, I swung the bat, repeatedly hitting Taehyung’s head until it turned into a pulp. Wiping the blood off my face with the back of my hand, I turned around, studying the area. There was one more child out there, and I couldn’t lose my focus just yet.

“Where are you, Jin?” I shouted, waiting for a sign from the boy.

“Here,” Jin whispered, as he emerged from the shadows, pushing me off the stairs.

It was a painful fall, but thankfully, I didn’t break my neck. I felt a pulsating sensation in my left ankle, but besides that, I was fine.

Groaning in pain, I watched Jin slowly descend the stairs. His weird-ass demon eyes were drilling holes in my face, his lips turning into a devilish sneer. Step by step, he made his way downstairs, enjoying the way I tried to crawl away from him. The anticipation was draining me of energy; he was going to murder me, and I could just watch him do it.

“Help!” I shouted though I doubted anyone could hear me. “Somebody call the police!” I carried on but to no avail.

Jin was maybe thirty centimeters away from me, savoring my misery. Slowly, he tilted his head to the side, showing me his teeth, ready to tear me apart.

I had maybe a minute of life left, and I was going to spend it looking into my killer’s eyes.

That was sick.

When Jin was about to jump at me, I heard a noise coming from the apartment.

The scene unfolded in front of my eyes so soon, I couldn’t properly react to it. Right before Jin took a final leap towards me, Jungkook emerged out of the apartment with a fireplace poker, piercing it through Jin’s neck.

Jin’s blood, like a fountain, squirted on me. With my eyes closed, I waited for this moment to end. A few seconds later, I could hear Jin’s dead body collapse to the side.

“Are you okay?” I asked Jungkook, who dropped onto the floor beside me in shock.

“I just killed a kid,” Jungkook whispered, still unable to process what just happened. “When you walked away to look for the kids, I heard a noise in the kitchen. It was Jin, and when I entered, he began throwing shit at me. That motherfucker cut my face,” he added, showing me his fresh wound on his beautiful cheek. “Then, he stabbed my side with the knife and locked me in the closet,” he added, squeezing his side, trying to numb the pain.

“Let’s get the hell away from here,” I spoke, trying to stand up. It was difficult with all my wounds, but I couldn’t stand being inside this building.

CHRISTMAS DAY

We just killed three children.

At first, we had no clue what to do next, but then, I listened to my voice of reason – Jungkook. No matter how bad it looked, we had to go to the police.

Hand in hand, we slowly walked to the nearest police station. People were turning their heads when we were passing by them. I couldn’t blame them. I looked like Carrie with better clothing, while Jungkook seemed to have survived a zombie apocalypse.

When we entered the police station, everybody stared at us. Wobbling, we approached the front desk. “We killed three children,” I admitted, realizing how bad it sounded without the context.

The policeman was shocked. He didn’t witness this kind of thing regularly.

A few minutes later, we were escorted to a questioning room, where we could describe everything in great detail. Unfortunately, they didn’t seem to buy our story, thinking we were trying to pull some kind of a prank.

Taking all precautions, they called in an ambulance. We were seriously injured, and we needed some medical care. Though the doctor did a great job, I’d kill to get some better painkillers.

Once our wounds were dressed, the police locked us in custody. We had to wait until a pair of policemen checked the apartment and secure the evidence.

“Merry Christmas, Jungkook,” I whispered as I looked at my wristwatch, realizing it was already past one o’clock. “I know we had different plans, but out of all people, I am glad I was stuck there with you. You saved my life,” I carried on, looking at Jungkook fondly.

“We killed three children,” he replied, still shaken after what had happened. Perhaps, he didn’t need me now, but I really wanted to hug him and tell him that everything’s gonna be alright. Too bad that we were locked in two different cells.

“In self-defense,” I added since Jungkook often seemed to forget that part.

After ten minutes of painful silence, one of the guards walked up to the custody, unlocking our cells. What else did they want to know? We already said everything we knew.

“You’re free to go,” the guard announced, surprising us immensely. “It was an elaborate prank, but don’t ever do that again, or else, we’re going to seriously put you in jail,” he warned, urging us to leave.

“I don’t understand,” I wondered out loud, unable to process what was going on. “I thought you sent your men to check out the crime scene.”

“We did, and the apartment you wanted us to check out was empty. We talked with the landlord, and he said this flat has been vacant for the last year,” the guard explained, making me and Jungkook gasp in shock.

What the fuck was going on?

In complete silence, with our heads hanging low, we exited the police station.

“What now?”

“Let’s just go home and watch Die Hard,” Jungkook whispered, still trying to wrap his head around what had happened inside the apartment. We almost died in there. However, when the police checked it, it was like we had never been there.

My apartment was closer, so we both headed there. Our moves were robotic, our heads were empty. At this point, we just wanted to sit down and keep our minds busy, so we wouldn’t try to analyze what happened back there.

It wasn’t a figment of our imagination. Our wounds were concrete evidence that we were telling the truth. Unfortunately, the police didn’t want to believe us. However, as the saying goes – no body, no crime.

In light of the law, we were innocent.

As soon as we entered my apartment, we sat down on the floor, resting our back against the sofa. Mindlessly, I grabbed the remote and turned Die Hard on Netflix.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I whispered as I interlaced my fingers with Jungkook’s, resting my head on his shoulder. “Or we can just pretend it never happened. Let’s just say we watched a really weird movie or went to a hardcore escape room,” I added, studying Jungkook’s arm tattoos, getting lost in his skin art.

“I’ve known you a few days,” Jungkook started, staring into my eyes. “But I’ve experienced more stress than in my entire life altogether,” he added with a sigh, placing a delicate peck against my neck.

“Actually, my life is pretty boring,” I admitted, though I knew where Jungkook’s words were coming from. I wouldn’t believe myself, either. “It took a 180 on that ice rink,” I reasoned, trying to find a connection.

“You’re beautiful,” Jungkook confessed genuinely, staring at my face with his big sparkly eyes. He was bullshitting me, but I didn’t have enough energy to argue with him. How could I be beautiful? My hair was all sticky due to all the blood which the doctor hadn’t washed off. My skin was covered with cuts and bruises. Even my clothes were ripped. I was certain Jungkook didn’t mean it, but I wasn’t going to admit that.

“You’re beautiful, too,” I beamed, teasing him. “Even after what we’ve been through today, you’re absolutely breathtaking,” I added, and Jungkook looked away, trying to hide his red cheeks. Carefully, I cupped his face, pressing another delicate kiss against his lips.

Just like feathers, our lips moved against each other. No rush, no hastiness, just pure delight.

Though we were both sore and exhausted, we took our time. Maybe it was past three o’clock now, but we didn’t care. I could stay up all night, kissing him like that.

Slowly, Jungkook’s hands found purchase on my hips, carefully pulling me closer on top of his thighs. Gently, I began rubbing my sex against his muscular legs, trying not to make him hiss. His beautiful thighs had already suffered enough damage when Taehyung had bitten him – I didn’t want to inflict any more pain.

“I wish I could fuck you the way I want to,” Jungkook confessed, taking me aback with his filthy words. He was a good soft boy with a heart of gold; how could he talk dirty to me like that? It was out of his calm and collected character, but I absolutely loved it.

“Don’t worry, I think I’m gonna stick around at least until you’re fully recovered,” I answered with a teasing tone as I reached down to his zipper, freeing his semi-hard cock. “Do you have any plans for New Year’s Eve? Or Valentine’s Day?” I questioned, but Jungkook was too busy to answer right away, ripping my tights apart.

“Actually, I do,” Jungkook mentioned with a lopsided smirk upon his face. “I’m gonna be sitting here between your thighs, buried deep inside your pussy. How do you like that?” He asked mischievously, biting my bottom lip before I managed to reply.

“I hope you’re not all talk,” I answered, staring down at his dick. Carefully, I pulled it out of his pants, giving it a few strokes before I raised my hips, slowly sinking down on his length. “Mmm…” I purred, feeling a pleasant stretch.

“I should’ve prepped you,” Jungkook whispered as he felt my walls slowly adjust to his girth.

“Nah, it’s all fine,” I spoke, getting all comfortable on his dick. “There’s always a next time.”

With a languid, stable pace, I rocked my hips back and forth, riding him. Going this slow allowed me to properly feel every inch of him. It was intimate, and I enjoyed it much more than any mindless pounding, which didn’t always get me off. With Jungkook under me, I was in complete control. He was obedient and responsive to my movements, really making it look easy to push me over the edge.

“I’m coming,” I moaned, feeling the approaching orgasm. Jungkook, instead of messing with my tempo, grabbed my hips, helping me maintain my current pace. “Fuck, Jungkook,” I hissed when he gently pushed his cock deeper inside of me, being seconds away from his own release.

“Come around my cock,” Jungkook ordered, and I obeyed his order, falling into a million pieces on top of him, screaming his name. Thankfully, Jungkook’s hands held me in place. Otherwise, I’d once again collapse onto the floor. “Argh,” Jungkook grunted, shooting his load inside of me. “I want to go again,” he added as soon as he calmed down after the powerful orgasm.

“I think it’ll have to wait,” I answered, though I’d love to go another round. “We can try in the morning. Right now, I need a shower,” I added, and Jungkook nodded his head, resting it between my boobs, too lazy to let me go.

He was still balls deep inside of me, and his cum was slowly oozing out of my pussy, but none of us wanted to move. It felt as pleasant as it was nasty, but we didn’t mind.

“Do you mind if I join you?” Jungkook asked innocently, batting his eyelashes in an attempt to woo me. “That would save lots of water,” he added, and I didn’t want to argue with his reasoning.

“Why the hell not? Let’s go before I change my mind,” I spoke, giving him a hand, helping him stand up. “But,” I added, sternly staring at the boy beside me. “Until we’re fully recovered, it’s just a shower.”

“Sure thing.”

#jungkook smut #jeongguk smut #jeongguk fluff #jungkook fluff #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts smut #bts fluff #christmas smut #bts christmas #bts #bangtan smut

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onlyfortheplot · 4 years

Text

No Takesies Backsies

➳ Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x Fem!Reader ft. Sashi Kuroo

➳ Part of Daddy Universe

➳ Synopsis:

“She’s always smiley,“ you said, pouring yourself another drink.

“Not when she’s with her mom.“ he grimly said, downing the rest of his drink.

“I want to be her mother.“ you softly said, not looking at Kuroo.

He choked on his drink, slamming the glass on the desk.

“W-what?“ he said, cheeks burning.

➳ Warning: Slight language, Divorce, Single Parent AU

➳ Word Count: 1.6K

A/N:

OMG I am totally not trying to procrastinate. Shiptember. And I did not totally listen to Payphone while writing this. Asks are CLOSED. TAGLIST IS OPEN!. Anyway ENJOY. <3 @lizbotw I did it hehe!!!<3 Luv u wifey!

He ran a hand through his black hair, groaning as he looked at the mess his daughter had made. Oatmeal was sprayed across the table, the spoon missing. She gave a sheepish smile, looking at her father with doe-like eyes.

“Babygirl, what did you do.“ He was exasperated. Not only did his ex-wife, refuse to take Sashi, but she had told him she wouldn’t be able to take her for the next week. He ran a hand down his face. And now this...

It wasn’t that that he was incapable. It was more the fact, she had found spending time with her new boyfriend more important than her daughter. He muttered curses under his breath.

“I’m sorry, daddy.“ Sashi mumbled, hopping over her seat, running to her dad. She hugged his legs. He chuckled, tiredly.

“Its okay, baby.“ He leaned down, and swung her up, “But, you need to be careful, okay?“ He bopped her nose, making her smile.

“Yup,“ she replied, popping the ‘p‘. “I promise!“

“Good, because once we get to my office...“ he trailed off at the scrunched up face his daughter was making.

“I know, daddy. I’ll be good for Y/N.“ she said.

“Ms.L/N,“ he corrected her, dropping her too the floor.

She pouted. “But, you call her that!”

“That’s because we’re adults.“

“I wanna be an adult.“ she crossed her hands, huffing. He ruffled her head, as he leaned over to grab a paper towel from the kitchen counter. He was glad that she believed him. At least, then, he didn’t have to explain the relationship he had with you. Not that he could explain it. He didn’t know.

His marriage with his ex-wife was faulty from the start. She was too controlling, wanting to be in power. And he was to giving, as she took and took and took. He hated it. He had thought, believed, that she was the one. The one he would grow old with. The one he would have a family with.

Well that happened, he chuckled humorlessly as he looked at Sashi. He would never —never in his goddamn life regret having her. She was the world to him. But, sometimes he couldn’t feel anything but the sadness and the emptiness, even with Sashi beside him. And sometimes, he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to share his world, his Sashi, with someone he could love.

And he had tried, multiple times, to reconnect with dating. But, to no avail. The idea of a daughter was either to burdening or unappealing to most. He sighed, as he glanced at her.

“Let’s go, buddy.“ he mumbled, motioning for Sashi to follow him. She joyfully, grabbed his hand and walked along side him.

If only...

ﾟ+*:;;:*　　*:;;:*+ﾟ

“Do I sound amused,“ you deadpanned, holding the phone between your ear and shoulder, “Does it sound like, Mr.Morti, that I am trying to make a joke.”

You clenched your hands, crumpling up the piece of paper.

“Does it, Mr.Morti, sound like I am in the mood for you,“ you exhaled sharply, cutting yourself off. Even if you were mad, livid, exasperated, tired and fed up you had to calm yourself before things took another turn,

“Ms.L/N, I had forwarded an email —“

“No, really?“ you interrupted, “I was totally not aware of the stupid email, with more than one grammar mistakes. No, Mr.Morti, I wasn’t aware of the goddamn email you sent me at one in morning, saying you would like to reschedule the meeting. And there, totally wasn’t a singular line at the end of your mess of an email, saying, and I quote,“ you fumbled at your desk, hand-picking the printed out copy of the email.

“If this is okay with you, if not we can try to make it work today.“

The line went silent, your heavy breath the only sound.

“Pardon?“

You threw down the stack of paper, almost screaming into the phone line.

“Stupid and deaf.“ you snapped, “Why they hire a mess like you in such a respectable company.“

You heard the door open, the slight squeak, breaking you from concentration. You scowled, as Mr.Morti fumbled over his words, looking for an excuse.

Glancing to door however, your scowl evaporated.

You blushed slightly, as Kuroo Tetsurou hurriedly walked into your room, waving a small hello.

Hello, you mouthed back, turning your attention to the phone.

“Like I said, maybe if you use your brain cells—“

“Ms.L/N. Y/N, please—“

“Don’t Y/N me. Your lack of intelligence, or the basics of comment sense, amuses me. And that along with your incompetence is the real joke here, Mr. Morti. So I suggest you,“ you took in a deep breath, “before you get slathered with more insults, to find a way to make the meeting happen. Today.“ You didn’t let him respond. as you aggressively hung up.

“That was...“ Kuroo started, stopping almost instantly at your glare.

“No continue, Mr.Kuroo.“ you said crossing your hands over your chest, “I would love and enjoy your opinion on the conversation.“

“Conversation,“ he cackled, tilting his head back, “That was assault!“

You rolled your eyes, your mouth twitching. This always happened. You tried to stay mad and angry, but something about Kuroo just made you smile.

“What can I do for your Tetsu.“ you smiled walking over to him.

“Hello,“ you stopped, looking down, at the owner of the small voice. Your heart melting as you saw his daughter clutching at Kuroo’s dress pants.

“Hello,“ you looked at Kuroo, “Is this Sashi.“ He nodded, grinning as he pushed her forward.

“Go say hello.“

“Hello,“ she tentatively said, “Ms.L/N.“ You laughed. You were sure Kuroo had had his her say that.

“Don’t worry, dear. Just call me Y/N.“

“Really? Am I an adult now!” she looked up at Kuroo, happily, “That’s what you said, daddy.”

“Ah...“ he trailed off, looking at you helplessly. You chuckled.

“Are you ready for your first day of work, Miss.“ you jokingly saluted Sashi who grinned, saluting back.

“Yes, Ma’am!“

“Good. Our first task is to get some coffee for you tired father.“

His smile flickered as you looked at him. He had tried, angling himself in a way, where the dark circles under his eyes wouldn’t show. But, even without seeing the dark circles, you could tell from the lack of expression in his eyes, that he was burned out.

Your heart throbbed. You knew why. That idiot of a woman, whom Kuroo had married, was the reason. You gritted your teeth. He didn’t need to tell you what happened, you could just guess.

You plastered a smile on your face, lifting Sashi up.

“Let’s go to our first mission!“ you ordered, “And you,“ pointing at Kuroo, “take it easy today. I got everything covered.“

You gave him a stern smile, but your eyes were filled with adoration and sympathy.

He felt his heart beat quicken at your glowing eyes, as Sashi babbled about missions.

Oh, if only you knew.

ﾟ+*:;;:*　　*:;;:*+ﾟ

“Hectic day?“ you asked, as he leaned his head into the desk. His hair spilled over his eyes as he looked up at you.

“Today, sucked me out.“ he admitted, “We got mostly everything done. And thanks to you we got that meeting over with.”

You smiled at that. You did have a way with words.

“Some wine, good sir,“ you asked, holding to wine glasses and a bottle. A juice bottle.

“Where’s— “

“Kenma came over to pick Sashi an hour ago.“

You placed the wineglass in front of him, flicking your wrist as you opened the cranberry juice, pouring it neatly into the glass.

“Cheers?“ he asked, lifting the glass as you finished pouring the juice into your own glass.

“Cheers.“ you clinked glasses, downing the drink in one.

“How did it go with Mika.“ you almost gagged as you spoke his ex-wive’s name.

“Stlll no response.“ he sighed, turning his drink, taking little sips. “I didn’t expect one.“

There was a pregnant silence.

You coughed, “Sashi is a gem.” you offered, “She has your personality.”

He laughed.

“She smiled so much today,“ he murmured, half to himself, “Thank you.“

“She’s always smiley,“ you said, pouring yourself another drink.

“Not when she’s with her mom.“ he grimly said, downing the rest of his drink.

“I want to be her mother.“ you softly said, not looking at Kuroo.

He choked on his drink, slamming the glass on the desk.

“W-what?“ he said, cheeks burning.

“I want to be her mother.“ you said, a little louder than before.

“You—you know that would—“ You slammed your own drink on the table, reaching towards him and grabbing his tie. Pulling harshly, you slammed your lips on his own.

You could taste the leftover cranberry juice on his tongue.

“Mmm,“ he groaned into the kiss. You felt your cheeks burn, heat throbbing in your body.

“I know what it means,“ you whispered on his lips, “I love you. And I know, with Mika, you might not be interested, but I—“

He grabbed the back of your neck and placed his lips back on yours.

“Really?“ he asked, voice gravelly.

“Really.“ you firmly said.

“No takesies backsies.“

You rolled your eyes at his childish antics, pecking his cheek.

“Nope.“

Oh, if only he knew.

831 notes · View notes

bookofmirth · 3 years

Note

I haven't read ACOSF yet, and tbh I'm rather rusty with the characters but it was really interesting to read your opinion on Elain! I feel there's a lot of complexity to her. And how she presents herself as well because as you said we literally have no chapters from hers or Lucien's POV and I think that's the important point to note because right now we're all just guessing and assuming her to be like Feyre, but she's not. People deal/show their traumas in different way and l think people expect Elain to deal with it as Feyre did. But, Feyres trauma and Elains are very different!

I don't really know what I'm saying. But I read your answer and it made me go 'oh... Huh!' in a good way, it sparked my curiosity! So thank you! But I think Elain perhaps is the most complex person with their trauma. I know people say 'oh Nesta is so different' but (I specialised in drama therapy so I love psycho analysis) and what Nesta did is self destructive to prevent relationships to avoid hurt or more emotions that she doesn't want to acknowledge (in my opinion!)

Elain just shuts down. She doesn't drink, she doesn't screw, she just remains in her garden which in itself says a lot! That's a very grounding way to handle trauma and not a lot of people are aware of that side!

So yeah I don't know what I'm saying but I think it's a really interesting discussion!

I have so many thoughts about Elain! This took me a few days to get to because i knew I had a crapton of thoughts. So this is basically me using this ask to explain the way I see Elain post-acosf!

There are three important scenes in acosf off the top of my head: when Elain talks with Nesta and they fight, and then with Nesta and Feyre and she gets mad and leaves, and then Feyre and Rhys talk about her in their chapter. We’re getting a lot more information about her, and for me, it wasn’t so much about who she is, but why we don’t know who she is.

So far, what we’ve had is Feyre’s and Nesta’s POV. Even when Feyre and Lucien tried to help her in acowar, they were unable. So we’ve never had anything about Elain from someone who didn’t grow up with her and experience the same trauma (such as becoming destitute, their mother’s death, their father being beaten, the Cauldron, etc.)

The sisters do handle it very, very differently. And I think that at this point the fandom consensus is that Elain runs away from her problems, but I actually disagree, and partly because of what you mentioned - that she isn’t using those self-harming, destructive coping mechanisms. Nesta was avoiding her problems, hardcore. It’s absolutely possible that Elain avoids things, but I don’t think that she just runs from all of her problems because:

Elain grieves her father. Openly. She tries to accept the fact that it wasn’t her fault and that she couldn’t do anything about it. (See: her going to his grave in acofas, her first talk with Nesta in acosf.) Elain does not run from her grief, she doesn’t pretend it doesn’t exist, and she doesn’t hide it from others. As one of the most defining events we’ve seen her go through in the series, that’s a pretty big deal.

Elain does not cling to unhealthy coping mechanisms. There could be ways that she does this that we are unaware of. She does seem like the type who would be really, really good at making people think she’s okay, all while she’s silently imploding. But we don’t know that yet?

Elain does not isolate herself.

However, Elain definitely needs to deal with some stuff! She definitely needs to deal with Lucien, and she needs to have an actual talk with Nesta because I don’t remember a single satisfying resolution between those two in acosf. Not like Nesta had with Feyre.

I have this idea that is purely based on Elain’s line in acosf:

“I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow, all you think of is what my trauma did to you.” (pg. 233)

And then Feyre tells Nesta that yes, Elain was right.

This is so so so sossosososos important. I cannot emphasize it enough. Elain is used to putting on a fake, smiling face because she doesn’t want the weight of her sisters’ concern. She has been pretending to cope for so long - and tbf, she seems to have been doing better than Nesta - that people not only forget that she has suffered, but she doesn’t feel like she can even express that suffering.

Emotional labor often means negating one’s own feelings in order to acknowledge or tend to someone else’s. And that is Elain’s major role, in the series. Feyre has been caring for everyone’s physical wellbeing (hunting), while Elain’s role has been to care for everyone’s emotional wellbeing. But, like with most emotional labor, it has gone unnoticed.

I’ve made posts about emotional labor in the past (four years ago!!!!) but I’m gonna spare you the link because a lot of it was about a ship that’s no longer a ship, so here is the relevant content:

What I am talking about is the regulation of emotion - any time that you give comfort, are especially attentive to someone’s needs, stop thinking about how you feel in order to focus on how someone else feels, try to cheer someone up, make sure that they are taking care of themselves, try to allay their insecurities, etc. Basically, helping them with any sort of emotional distress.

You know those posts you’ve seen, about women protecting men’s egos constantly? Or about making time for self-care? Or about recognizing toxic relationships? That tell you “if X is being demanded of you in a relationship, get out”? Those are ALL about emotional labor, broadly speaking. They are warning you not to do more than you can handle, more than you need to do, because it can be harmful to you.

If you have ever been expected to make a person or people feel better any time you are around each other (including when they are angry, upset, anxious, ill, frustrated, insecure, etc.), you have performed emotional labor. Pretty much everyone has done this at some point, unless you are a completely insensitive jerk.

Notice, though, that I said expected to and any time you are around them – this is where the problem comes in for YOU. This is not about just being there for a friend.

Making loved ones feel better is fantastic. Seeing people be polite and kind to one another makes my heart shine. That is not a problem in and of itself. That can be seen as emotional labor, but there are no requirements on you in those circumstances. This is something you are doing of your own free will.

The problem, again, is when this is expected, constantly, over time. Now, in my experience, the expectation is not necessarily coming from the other person. One of the problems with this type of labor is that not only do others expect women to perform these tasks, but women expect it of themselves.

It’s super easy to see this – who is expected to take care of a child when they fall? Who is expected to baby-sit? Who did you want when you were sick as a child, mom or dad? Who is expected to be sensitive and pay attention to others’ emotions?

For more info on this idea specifically, read Of Woman Born by Adrienne Rich. As a woman, I realized how much work I had been performing and how much it was harming me and I just… got real upset. She comes at this mostly from what a woman’s role is expected to be within the family, and might actually be a bit outdated in that respect because I feel like family structures and dynamics are shifting (that is a totally un-academic evaluation of the situation, don’t quote me on that), but still, it’s really informative.

While I was doing some research for this post I came across a peer-reviewed article about nursing and basically, high amounts of emotional labor led to anxiety and burn-out in those performing it. It literally will cost your mental health – not to mention your time, energy, attention, and it often requires you to ignore your own needs (this last part came from me, not the article). On the other hand, high levels of emotional intelligence (being able to recognize your own and others’ emotional states) meant less emotional labor (and therefore less anxiety & burn-out). One of the most important things to realize is that while you are taking care of someone else’s emotional needs, your own are frequently unmet. That is why it’s important to recognize this in yourself, not just in these characters.

So where does Elain fit in? Elain is the #1 emotional labor provider of the family, and she is about to freaking SNAP. I know, because once I realized how my trauma was hidden in order to spare someone else its consequences, I fucking SNAPPEd. I’ll also spare you the personal details, but Elain hasn’t been “okay”. She hasn’t been “boring”, or “nice”, or “chosen” Feyre over Nesta. She has literally been unable to express herself because (and I am NOT blaming Nesta or Feyre or her father one bit) her family’s emotional state has been so fragile, there hasn’t been room for Elain to feel or express her emotions in years.

In the feysand short, Rhys says:

I wonder if everyone has spent so long assuming Elain is sweet and innocent that she felt she had to be that way or else she’d disappoint you all.

And that completely tracks. Everyone has gotten used to Elain being not just “nice”, but being the emotionally predictable one. The one they know they can go to for a smile. The one they can count on for never, ever making them realize that she has been through Some Shit Too. And being that person is exhausting.

When Feyre thinks about Elain not using Lucien’s gloves, 1) she still has them, otherwise she couldn’t think about Elain not using them, and 2) I like to see the gloves as something that she will come to use, once she realizes that she can feel and express those emotions without it causing a breakdown in the family. Right now, she just wants to feel. And she can’t do that emotionally, so she’s doing it physically. Once she heals and finds a better balance, she won’t need to resort to physical pain. (Which, lowkey has me thinking some other thoughts, but.... maybe later.) But anyway, once Elain does go through her very own special journey, I fully expect her to welcome those gloves. She won’t need physical pain to feel anymore.

Not to mention my completely unacademic and non-professional opinion that people will judge a nice women harshly for being rude once, but accept a woman with a history of rudeness for just “being that way”. It’s another way that Elain may feel trapped in her “nice girl” persona. I think she started out that way - kindness and light and generosity is 100% in Elain’s character in the first place. It’s not as if she went into the Court of Nightmares and suddenly Cassian thought, “wait, she fits right in to this shithole of depravity”. No, he still thought the literal opposite. It’s just that once people get used to you doing all their emotional labor, they will continue to take advantage of it, even if they don’t realize its cost.

#elain #acosf #acosf spoilers #spoilers #ask #PHEW I needed to get that off my chest too #midnight-wonder

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yutahoes · 3 years

Text

Sakura

(Part Ten)

One - Two - Three - Four - Five - Six - Seven - Eight - Nine - Ten

genre : Chaptered, Fluff

pairing : childhood friends: soccer player! Nakamoto Yuta x single mom! Y/N

word count : 1.9k words

You’ll always be his Sakura.

@ailoveyuta @loona-4-eva @aiforyuu @2-3-t-i @cosmiclatte28 @url-lindo-sexy @nuoyipeach @aaasteroidsky @readers-posts @delightfultacobread @bby-kji9

"...And then okaasan, Cherry made me this card to congratulate me for making the team." Yuta shared with a smile, lightly staring at the pink paper on the dashboard of his car. "I think she got Y/N's talent in drawing."

"It must be nostalgic to see her especially when you said that she looks exactly like Y/N." His mom's voice can be heard through the speaker phone of the car. He was driving to Jae's school since it's his first soccer match.

Yuta smiled at the memory of Y/N's surprised face when he asked for her to grant his wish. Well, Jae's wish. And that is to let him play in the little league of their school. The younger boy looked so happy when she agreed, even promising that he'll listen to the coach and not forget about his studies and eating.

He saw the passion in Jae's eyes while practicing and he can't wait to celebrate with him when he gets his first goal. Was he the same when he was a kid? He must be really pretty cool back then. "I hope you can meet Jae and Cherry, okaasan." Yuta said with a chuckle. "You'll love them both."

"I know I will." His mom claimed. "Son, you seemed happier than the past months you talked to me." Is he? "Whatever you're doing, you know that I and your otousan are here to support you."

If there is one thing that Yuta heavily realized about everything that's happening, parenting is not an easy task. He felt a great appreciation for his parents who never left his side and is always there whatever his decisions in life are. It is indeed true that you'll appreciate people more if you're in their shoes. "Okaasan, I never told you and otousan this but I love you both. And I'm always thankful that you're my parents."

He heard a sniffle in the background that made him chuckle, "Are you crying?" He asked in disbelief. His mom? The true Osaka mom, who never lets her child show her emotion, is crying? "I'll go home soon. I miss you already."

"And we miss you, Yuta. I'm glad you're happier now." And he is.

Yuta was surprised at how small the crowd is during the soccer league. It's one of the school's sports, why is there so little audience? He immediately saw them by the bleachers, Cherry was seated beside her mom who was carrying Jae who looked like he was crying. "What happened?" He asked immediately, putting down the things he brought.

Jae transferred to his arms, sobbing hard. "I'm scared. What if I don't get a goal today? What if I fall?" Yuta smiled at that. He's so cute. "What if the team loses?"

"Hey buddy, it's alright." He assured. "It's fine if we cannot goal today, we can do it next time. And it's alright to fall, that's part of the game." Jae stared at him, blinking his tears away. Yuta put him down, letting him sit. "I have something for you."

He took a box of shoes from the plastic bag he brought, opening it to show him a new set of soccer shoes. The older removed his old shoes, replacing them with new ones and even tying the shoelaces for him. "Just enjoy playing for now, Jae. Don't think of winning. We can do it next time."

The young boy nodded, jumping with his new shoes. "I will play soccer as cool as you. And then I'm going to be known in soccer like you." He said while smiling widely. "Appa."

Yuta smiled. That word. The butterflies in his stomach are fluttering. "That's my boy." He grinned, ruffling his hair. Jae ran down to the field as he watched him with the taller, bigger kids.

Y/N was looking at him, eyes twinkling. "What?" He asked but she shook her head. When he glanced at Cherry, she was just smiling knowingly at him.

The game is just a simple elementary soccer league at first, five kids played against another five kid team. But what surprised Yuta is how rough the children were. He remembered one kid, the guy who was bullying Jae the first time he saw him at school. He kept on kicking the other kid's ankle, stepping on another's foot just to have the ball for his own yet the coach isn't even telling him off. At one point, the kid even bumped on Jae purposely even if they're on the same team that made the smaller kid fall.

Y/N was about to storm down the bleachers when Yuta held her hand. "Let him. He needs to learn to stand up." She only grasped their intertwined hands that made Yuta smile. She didn't let go, instead held on to him tighter.

Jae was obviously stopping himself from crying while playing. When the ball was kicked in front of him, he didn’t hesitate to create a beeline to the goal. In his short stature, he kicked the ball which entered the goal that gave a score on the team. Cherry was cheering and Yuta grinned, Y/N’s hold on Yuta got tighter if possible and her eyes were twinkling once again. She’s happy. Jae was running on the whole field, smiling at himself. His first goal. He remembered feeling lightheaded when he did that in first grade, his parents watching him while smiling. Now, he felt proud of Jae. Like a dad. Maybe this is what his dad felt that time.

“Hey, shorty!” The coach called in a booming voice. “Isn’t it my order to give Siwoo the ball whatever happens?” What? Yuta was about to storm to where the coach was but Y/N pulled him back, shaking her head. “Come here, shorty.”

His eyes went red seeing how the big coach lightly hit the younger’s head using his finger. “Yuta…” Y/N called but he’s already in front of the bigger man.

“Do you really have to do that?” Yuta asked calmly. “What’s wrong with this kid scoring a goal? Is your son the only member of the team?”

The coach smirked and Yuta wanted to punch his cocky face that instant. “Oh look. If it isn’t the world-class soccer superstar.” he teased that made him glare. "This is a school league, hotshot. Last time I checked you don't have any children." Yuta clenched his jaw at that. He's so annoying. "Oh. Are you banging this kid's mom? Must be a pretty good fuck that you have to support this dadless loser."

That does it. Yuta landed a punch on his face, even holding the collar of his shirt in annoyance. "Shut your fucking mouth." He spat and was about to land another punch when he saw from his peripheral sight the fright in Jae's eyes while watching him. The younger had always stared at him in adoration so seeing him like this scared Yuta for a moment. He clenched his fist, dropping his arm on his sides when the coach landed a punch on his face.

"You think you're some amazing dude just because you play soccer?" The coach asked, punching his face once again. "Since you're so great, why don't you just coach them?" The principal and some other dads stopped the two but Yuta's eyes were focused on the younger boy looking at him with tears in his eyes. He can't even hear the profanities that the coach was saying, all he could hear is this little voice in his head scolding himself for getting angry and scaring Jae.

Yuta jolted in pain when Y/N applied the medicine to the cut on the side of his mouth. "I told you to calm down." She said while dabbing the Q Tip gently to the blood forming on his lip. "He's a former boxer. You're lucky you just had a cut on your lip. He can crush your face, you know?" Why didn't he know that before? Are boxers that short-tempered? His friend, Jung Jaehyun, isn't.

"Is Jae mad at me?" Yuta asked, eyes focused on his hands. His face doesn't hurt honestly. What hurts the most is that look imprinted on his memory. Of Jae being scared. Because of him. "You should be with him right now."

Y/N sat on the chair in front of him who was seated on the clinic bed. "Cherry said she'll take care of Jae. I can't really calm him down, only Cherry can." She explained and he pursed his lips at that. "You were usually a calm person, Yuta."

He is. That's the basic rule in soccer. Always cool your head. It's not helpful if you get angry easily. Soccer is a physical sport. You'll obviously get hurt and that's fine, as long as you keep your cool. But this is not soccer. "I'm sorry. He's just fucking annoying." Yuta explained in a soft voice. "I just hate it that he dared to say those things when he doesn't even know anything. How can you trust your child to someone like…?"

His words were cut off when she leaned closer, her lips touching his. He was too shocked to react when she pulled away. "Did you just…?"

"I'm going to check on Jae. We'll meet you at the school gate."

Wait. Is he knocked up with that punch? Is he dreaming? She kissed him, right? He touched his lips. If this is a dream, can't he just wake up?

Jae was so quiet when he drove them home. Y/N asked if the younger wanted to eat but he only shook his head. This is unusual for the younger who is always the talkative one. Y/N looked worryingly at Yuta when they stopped in front of her house. "Jae, buddy. Can we talk?"

Cherry and Y/N exited the car, leaving Jae in the backseat. "Buddy, I'm sorry." Yuta said sincerely. "I shouldn't have acted like that. I'm sorry that you got scared. I promise I won't be angry like that again."

"Were you hurt?" The younger boy asked that surprised Yuta. Is that what's running in his mind? "I'm scared that you might get hurt, appa." The older shook his head and Jae leaned in to hug him. "I'm scared you're mad at me because I didn't play well. I don't want to see you angry like that again."

The older smiled. "I'm not mad at you. I won't be mad at you." He held the back of his head, caressing it. "And you played so well, buddy. That goal." He exclaimed in awe, remembering the goal Jae did and the happiness in his chest the moment he witnessed that. "You did so well, Jae."

"I'll play soccer well, appa. I'll make you proud of me."

"I am proud of you, Jae. Always."

When he exited the car, Cherry knocked on the door to the passenger seat. Yuta opened it for her and she sat on the seat next to him. "We heard everything that the coach said." She started. "You didn't get mad when he was saying bad things about you. You got angry when he said things about eomma and Jae." Yuta only stared at her, Cherry is such a great observer. The makings of a true detective. "You feel like our real dad now protecting Jae and eomma."

"Thank you, Yuta appa." Cherry whispered, hugging him.

Yuta just smiled. He could get used to these hugs. He could get used to these children calling him 'appa'.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Eleven

This took too long to write but here it is. This is the exact scene where the whole plotline for Sakura started and honestly, this is much better in my head than when I wrote it. 😂 I also want to thank those people who always leave comments in each chapters. I always keep your words in mind and is actually getting some ideas from those. So thank you so much. 💓

#nakamoto yuta #yuta nakamoto #yuta #nakamoto yuta chaptered #yuta nakamoto chaptered #yuta chaptered #nct 127 #nct 127 chaptered #nakamoto yuta fluff #yuta nakamoto fluff #yuta fluff #nct 127 fluff #nct chaptered #nct fluff

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newcolonies · 4 years

Text

Someone You Loved

A/n: Here we are, another fic for the books. So basically, Ethan comes back from the Amazon, and Casey (mc) is quite angry about the matter. Here is my version of how the confrontation went down! Enjoy!

Also a BIG thanks to @aylamwrites and @caseyvalentineramsey for pre-reading and making sure it wasn’t complete trash!

Tag list: @openheart12 @queencarb @junehiratas @lilyvalentine @kaavyaethanramsey @tsrookie @caseyvalentineramsey @rookieoh @trappedinfandoms @lion-ess24 @rookiemarsswiftie @schnitzelbutterfingers @aylamwrites @laiba-the-person @starrystarrytrouble

*If you would like to be added or removed from the list just let me know.

Wordcount: 2,539

*All characters involved in this story are owned by PB

Title inspiration: Someone you loved by Lewis Capaldi

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Ethan walked into the hospital, he could feel his body shudder as the automatic doors welcomed him inside. The air was cool and crisp, the smell of cleaning products lingered heavily. He took in a deep breath, allowing himself to fill his lungs with this familiar smell. It smelt like home.

“My son, welcome back! How was your stay in the Amazon?” Naveen asked as he walked up to Ethan. The old man had a large grin plastered on his face. Ethan had been gone for two months, but he still had missed Naveen immensely. And due to the poor cell phone reception, the two haven't talked at all since he had been away.

“It was amazing,” he began, “it was quite the learning experience, I may add. It brought a new perspective to our job.” Ethan wore a large smile on his face. He had already begun to miss the Amazon. He had come to love the area and the people that he met during his stay. “How have things been while I was gone?”

“Everything ran quite smoothly! Though-” Naveen said his smile slowly fading into a serious grimace. “Ethan, I don't mean to be rude but you should go talk to Casey. She has been considerably down after you left,” he said in a deep whisper. “She hasn't quite been herself since you left.”

A pang of guilt washed over him, he had tried his best to keep that name out of his head. Hearing her name sent a shiver down his spine. Ethan left without saying anything to Casey, not even a single goodbye or explanation. He knew that she would hurt, but he still felt the need to leave without saying a single word to her. After all, the whole point of going to the Amazon was to reset the relationship with Casey to a professional level once again, and saying goodbye would have made it more difficult for him to finally leave.

Though Naveen was right, she deserved to see him, she deserved to know why he left. “Yea, I should. But I don't know if I can face her, Naveen.”

Naveen lay a hand on the young doctor's shoulder. “Son, you must face the things you believe you cannot do because that is how we grow. Go easy on her, explain how you are feeling, and why you left.”

Ethan nodded his head. Naveen had reassured Ethan, he felt confident, although he knew that every bit of confidence would disappear when he saw her. “Thank you, Naveen.” he offered him a brief smile to show his thankfulness for the old man. He assumed that she had been in the diagnostics office, most likely hunched over a file. The walk to the office felt like a mile. Nurses and doctors greeted him and welcomed him back as he walked. He felt everyone's eyes burning holes into him, making the trip feel impossibly longer.

Soon Ethan was standing at the door of the office. The nerves began to build up inside him, he felt like a rag doll. He knew this was going to go badly, but it had to be done. He swung the door open and walked in, allowing the door to shut loudly behind him.

“Oh, hey Baz,” she said without looking up from the file in front of her, “I forgot to ask, but can you take these files to the front desk,” she said, grabbing a stack of papers from the desk and looking up at the doorway, her voice trailed off. “Ethan?” she shook her head in disbelief.

“Hey Casey,” he replied, pulling a hand through his thick hair, he shifted his weight uncomfortably. He felt suffocated, like the walls of the office were closing in around him leaving only him and Casey alone in a cramped room, together. “How was the Amazon?” she roughly said.

“You knew that I went to the Amazon? How?” he asked, confusion laced in his voice. He only had told Naveen that he would be going on the trip, but of course, rumors spread like a wildfire around the hospital.

“It's funny you should ask that,” she gestured towards the chair across from her. “You may want to take a seat.” Ethan nodded and sat in the seat across from her. He didn't dare to look her in the eyes, so instead, he glanced at the files she was looking over. He could only make out the word cancer, but everything else had been too small for him to read.

“Well, when I noticed you had been gone for a while I had started to worry. So immediately I went to Naveen, who of course told me that you had gone to the Amazon.” Casey sputtered, a small smirk developing on her face. Ethan looked up from the table and met Casey's eyes. Despite the smile she wore, her eyes told a different story, one that read of sadness and anger.

“Casey, I should explain-” He began to say. Knowing that he was the reason that Casey had been broken, made him feel shallow. He managed to hurt the ones he loved, and it seemed to be a task that he had done often. Maybe, he wasn't cut out to be in a serious relationship, maybe he was destined to be a grumpy doctor that pushed people an arm's length away. Ethan often doubted himself, but this was the only doubt that he truly believed. If he were, to be honest with himself, he knew he didn't deserve her, he knew that she could do better than him. But sometimes the truth hurts too much to be addressed.

“Ethan, I believe that you should have explained two months before now. You left without telling me, not one goodbye, not one text, not one call. You left me in the dust questioning if I had done something wrong or if you were alright. Ethan, I have been nothing but miserable these past two months. And it's all thanks to you,” she roared arrogantly. Small tears began to pour out of her eyes.

“Casey, there's a lot of things I should have done differently, I know, but I did this for you. I did this, so we would have a chance to reset before whatever this is,” he said waving a hand between the two of them, “got out of hand. We crossed a line, and I can't allow that to happen again.” he said quietly, he was trying to remain professional. He hadn't wanted to let on that he was hurting as much as she was.

He had contemplated coming home every day just to see her, and hold her in his arms. The only thing he had wanted to do was see her, but he had to stay strong and resist the urges, for her sake.

Casey gave out a small laugh, “We have to stay professional, but only when it's convenient for you, Ethan. You continue to lead me on, and then cut me loose whenever you feel guilty or overwhelmed by us. I can't keep playing these back and forth games with you. You either have me or I walk out of those doors and you can forget about anything we ever were.” she protested.

All Ethan had wanted to do was pull her close to him and hold her for the rest of eternity, but instead, he just sat there. He hadn't wanted it to come down to this, but if he had to lose her entirely to secure the safety of her job, then he was willing to do so. But God did it hurt.

“Fine, if that's what you want, then I'll respect that,” Casey murmured breaking the beat of silence between them. She grabbed her bag and headed towards the door. Ethan could hear her small sniffles and gentle sobs as she walked towards the door. “I hope you're happy,” she said and walked out of the door letting it shut behind her. He was everything but happy, he felt as if he had just been hit by a wrecking ball. He felt destroyed, he felt useless. He had just let the one he loved walk out of that door. He just let it happen.

Ethan sighed and slid his glance over to the piece of paper that she had conveniently left behind, no doubt she had done it on purpose. He reached for the paper, and unlatch his glasses from the hem of his shirt and began the tedious task of looking over the file. The name at the top read Kyra Santana. Ethan propped his head on his hand and continued reading through the file.

Kyra was one of Casey's best friends, she was skilled in the art of getting on Ethan's nerves due to her flirty personality, and her willingness to risk everything without a set plan had stressed Ethan out. But she was a genuine and kind woman, a perfect match with Casey's personality. But unfortunately, that same woman, the woman that everyone loved dearly, was dying. Ethan stared at the words on the file until they turned into a blur. Not only had he left Casey, but her friend's health was also declining. This information made him feel sick to his stomach. How could be so inconsiderate?

Ethan jolted out of his seat and went to find her. She may not want to see him, but he needed to be with her. He needed to tell her how sorry he was. He needed to tell her that he was there for her. He needed to make things right between them. Ethan looked down at Kyra's file that was crumpled in his hand. He walked down to room 34A and knocked steadily on the door.

“Come on in!” he heard a cheery small voice exclaim. He hadn't been sure if he was in the right room, but her tone of voice clarified all doubt that he had. Ethan walked through the door to be greeted by a small, frail woman lying in the hospital bed. Iv's and wires remained spread around her, connecting her to the large machines that sat humming lowly next to her. On Kyra's right sat Casey. She looked up at him briefly, before looking back at Kyra, her attempt at avoiding any contact with him.

“Hey Kyra, I hope you don't mind if I take Casey for a second,” Ethan spoke lowly.

“Oh, that's no problem, you two have fun!” she exclaimed all but subtly. “And if you could bring her back before I- you know,” she motioned her hand in a line across her neck and stuck out her tongue. Casey shot a stern glance at Kyra before heading towards the door with Ethan. She hadn't fought him, she never refused, she just walked through the door with him.

Ethan shut the door slowly and took in a deep breath before speaking, his attempt at clearing the fog that had occupied his mind. “Casey, can we please talk about this,” he calmly said.

“Talk about what Ethan? How you left me for two months, or how my friend is knocking on death's door?” she said in a high-pitched voice. Ethan could still see the makeup smudged under her eyes from when she had cried earlier. “Or shall we talk about how you just let me walk out of those doors?”

“Casey,” Ethan said defeated. “I wanted to stop you from walking out of the doors. I wanted to tell you that I was leaving. There are so many things that I had wanted to do differently.” “And why didn't you? Because you're too professional? Because you're concerned about my job rather than my happiness? Which will it be Ethan? I've heard your excuse two too many times.” She spouted coldly.

Ethan felt a nip of pain as the words escaped her mouth. Unfortunately, everything she said had been true. He sounded as if he was a soulless monster, and perhaps he was. He had decided that he needed to be honest with her because that's what she deserves, that's what deserved two months ago. “I'm terrified. I feel weak, I feel vulnerable. Casey, I'm in love with you and that's exactly what terrifies me. I have never felt this way about anyone, this is new and it scares me. I'm scared of messing up, and hurting you even more than I have already.” He felt small and exposed.

“Ethan, I love you. I always have, I never have given up on you. I know truly that we can make this work if we tried. But you have to stop avoiding the inevitable, it truly only makes things worse.” Casey softly said.

“I'm so sorry, Casey. I want to make us work, I do.” Ethan exclaimed.

“I want to make us work too. And we can, but we have to face the reality that we might get in trouble for this,” she said, motioning between the two of them, “But I know that I am so willing to face those consequences, even if that means I get to be with you for a minute of my day.” she stated with a small smile.

Ethan nodded his head in agreeance. He finally had understood what he was feeling. It wasn't just the love that he felt for this woman, it was gratitude. It was the appreciation he felt every moment he saw her. It was the way he lit up every time he was around her. He understood that these feelings are not ones that should be feared, yet these are the feelings he needed to embrace.

He wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her closer to him as Casey responded by wrapping her small arms around his neck. He pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and guided her face to his before their lips met. The kiss they shared brought life back to the two doctors. He felt the tension that was building up in his body convert to mere bliss. Casey smiled against his lips before she pulled away and stared at Ethan, joy prevalent on her face. She laid her head on his chest, clinging on to him for dear life.

They stayed like this for a while until the moment was soon ruined by the faint sound of clapping in the background. Casey broke from Ethan's grip, only offering him a puzzled look. She opened the door to Kyra's room curiously, to see her clapping her hands fervently a large grin on her face.

“That kiss was hot, it was almost movie-worthy,” she happily said. Ethan rolled his eyes in annoyance, but the smile he was trying to conceal had come out. He was the happiest he had been in a while.

Despite Ethan's obvious annoyance, Casey burst out laughing. “It was wasn't it,” she exclaimed proudly grasping her hand in Ethan's.

They were happy, and that's all the mattered right now. He knew there would stumbling blocks ahead, but for now, he was going to enjoy the small moments, because when he left her he found out that those moments are the ones that he treasured the most.

#open heart #open heart second year #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #playchoices #ethan x casey #choices open heart #openheart #choices #ethan ramsey fanfiction #pixelberry #choices stories you play

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jungxk · 3 years

Note

// rant

i'm jus so heartbroken rn i've been crying for the past hour i jus need to put my feelings out there, i hope it's ok w you.

my mum wakes up today and jus starts berating me bc i didnt put washed dishes into the cabinets & the kitchen looked messy for her. i'm supposed to do it bc there's nothing else i actually do but yesterday i had woken up in the evening nd they called me to pray straight away so i totally forgot about it (coupled w the fact that i dont like doing it either cuz there's always sm dishes nd it's such a hassle). she jus started scolding me senseless nd im someone who doesnt get mad easily, even if i do i tend to stay quiet bc i dont like conflict & angry emotions are ugly. but i couldnt stop it today? she kept calling me selfish nd she's been calling me that the past few days as well bc i never help out w chores or anything. she's always asking me "what do u do for this family" or "what do u do in this house" every single time nd ofc i cant say shit bc i dont. i'm doing uni online nd it's really not that easy but bc i dont talk to my family like at all, they think i'm all good. the other day i pissed them off nd my parents straight up said "why do we need to pay for ur uni ure not doing anything anyway" & i jus... i didnt even know if i even deserve to feel sad over it. they were asking me what i wanna do after uni as if im not just in my first year & when i said im not sure they got so mad and my mum purposely said "just marry her off" to push my buttons into giving them an answer. they keep saying i'm pushing them into being the worst and saying the worst to me but how is that fair? they're parents? adults? i'm jus 20 & i can control my emotions? but today really jus pushed me she got so mad at me for the littlest things nd i jus exploded. I asked her why she's mad and she's like cuz of the kitchen bla bla bla nd it got so frustrating i told her it's not my problem nd i jus wont ever eat again since all the unwashed dishes piling is my fault. nd then she got mad at me for that and scolded me. I hate being touched but mostly i hate being hit. imagine getting hit at 20 years old bc my mother is too emotionally unstable that she cant take a few seconds by herself to calm her anger down. I hate it. nd bc i said it's not my problem she came nd told me "yea it won't be ur problem when i die too! i'll make sure when i do, u never come see me." jus... what kind of parent says that? i'm so careful w what i say & i slip sometimes bc i'm human but how can a mother say that? she doesnt know anything about me. she doesn't know i dont like being hit, she doesnt know i dont like it when ppl act impulsively on emotions. sometimes i feel like i really am the problem nd that i'm really selfish. spending shit ton of money to get me to study, maybe i am selfish. i dont mind it. i know myself well enough to hate things about myself. but to have parents who barely know me as a person rather than a daughter, getting this much mad at me for smthn so simple jus makes me so sad. bc i was doing the task when she asked. she does things like this then wonders why i cant ever talk to her. entire family thinks i'm immature bc i behave exactly how they treat me. 20 years. I never ask for much. but it's starting to feel like asking to study in the uk was my greatest downfall. it feels like i dont deserve this. every day i'm itching to get away, to live alone bc they've made me feel like i can never work well in groups. it's always somehow my fault as if they havent been invalidating me nd my feelings since birth.

nd i can never tell them all these bc i'm never confident in them. i'm never confident in whether i would be accepted nd comforted without ridicule or scolding. my brother & father tell me it's like that, that jus bc i may get a scolding shouldn't stop me from being open. but what kind of stupidity is that? my mother who makes me feel like the world is ending when i accidentally break smthn, that it wasn't an accident but rather it's me nd that i jus cant do a good job— where is the comfort i can ever find coming to her w a problem?

nd bc of that we're not close. bc of that she's closer to my cousins & everyone else really. they've never concerned themselves to talking about family issues w me but when i dont know, they shame me, saying i never bother to ask— how would i know when to ask? should they be telling me when there's smthn going on?

this makes the concept of family so repelling for me. there is inherently no reason to ever have a child that isnt selfish or self fulfilling. what they do as parents is to make them feel as important nd respected as they expect from the child. but it's never like that w south asians. emotions dont exist if ure the child nd apparently getting mad is a norm nd shouldn't stop u from being emotional w someone.

at times i tell myself that i should pay back every penny my parents spent on me. bc sometimes it feels like it's being used to make me act or feel a certain way. i dont wanna feel this way. theyre my parents, i know theyre good people. but i'm so hurt by the things going on nd the things from the past. my mother invalidates me sm. she more or less kinda blamed me for feeling useless and depressed last year. my brother was telling her to go easy on me nd she got so mad & frustrated bc she didnt know what she was doing wrong. "if she feels so useless why doesnt she do anything about it?" like that was such a golden chance for her to have comforted me nd i couldve opened up? but she ruined it nd hurt me again.

last year i lived w her alone nd my dad was in our home country. I was having some troubles w him gone but i dont call or text bc... it always felt like a drag. it never felt like a conversation nd the only time it did was when i complained to him about my mum. so much shit happened between my mum and i & this person advised me to jus write some of my feelings to her. so i wrote her a long letter nd i included saying how not having my dad was hard on me too. flash forward im in my home country & w my dad. i know nobody here bc i didnt grow up here. i'm doing online uni & basically have to stay indoors cuz of covid. she brings that letter up when she was to berate me nd it jus feels so uncomfortable for me? like ok my actions dont line up but i wrote that cuz i was looking for comfort nd understanding. if i knew it was going to be held against me, i would not have done it? "u said it was so hard for u without him, so what do u even do for him here now?"— what can i do? i'm just 20 nd the situation im in is not normal? i'm grateful to be w my dad again but what can i do? &it always freaking comes down to house chores. i try my best. when our maid doesnt come i do my best w my tasks. i know it's not enough but i jus... i dont even know. ig that part of me is selfish nd lazy.

it's so suffocating here. all my feelings are bottled up nd im so scared what that would do to me in the future. but at least i know i'm too selfish to ever spend the rest of my life w someone.

sorry for the long rant. i hope this didnt ruin ur mood or anything i jus need an outlet nd ur blog jus feels so comforting nd welcoming. thank u for listening to me nd my feelings. God bless u really kssjdjsj

i’m rlly sorry this is happening to you bby. idk what race u are but this sounds so much like that asian mentality where emotions are black and white and comfort in any way is out of the question. ur still rlly young tho so ur relationship with ur parents has room to improve i promise. i think it’s rlly important for u to move out whenever u can tho bc that’s what rlly improves the relationship. having said this i do think the way your mum talks to u/treats u is emotionally and mentally abusive so whether you want to uphold that tie with her in the future is ur choice i just rlly hope u get somewhere safe and away from ur family soon x

#answered

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itsclydebitches · 4 years

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I will personally never understand why the "bird conversation" happened. Qrow basically shut it down, by (I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure he did) saying they agreed to taking the ability. It feels like we're being told to take Raven at face value, despite other, more trustworthy charecters speaking to the contrary.

He did. Basic rundown of the conversation: Yang enters it pissed off, they learn all the revelations that the rest of the group got a few episodes back, Ozpin asks if this was “more or less what your mother told you,” Yang straight up ignores him and Weiss has to answer for her with, “for the most part.” This finally makes Yang angry enough to respond with “You forgot to tell everyone what you did to Qrow and my mother,” there are gasps and horrified looks from the group, but we get a shot of Qrow smiling and going “oh great”---he knows this secret isn’t a big deal but that convincing the others of that won’t be easy.

Ozpin explains about the power while Yang pouts on the couch. Nora angrily accuses Ozpin of “messing with us” (even though you all took way stranger things at face value... like reincarnation...), Jaune crosses his arm and adds “What else is new?” Despite these explanations with no downsides mentioned, Yang is still furious: “Why would you do something like that? I mean, what is wrong with you?”

She gets antagonistic enough that Qrow shuts her down and then explicitly states, “We made a choice. We wanted this.”

Ozpin then looks to Qrow and asks permission---“May I?”---in order to explain further, detailing that he needed allies to search for Maidens and keep an eye on Salem’s movements. The question heavily implies what should already be obvious: this was Qrow’s secret to keep and tell. Why is everyone gunning for Ozpin when Qrow, the person with the actual ability, likewise made the choice to keep that from his family? These explanations segue into the reveal that Ozpin created the first four Maidens and he ends his speech by admitting that “it was never my intention to lie to you.” He and Qrow share a knowing look as he admits that he “plays things close to the chest” which honestly, to me, reads as two war-worn adults acknowledging that this shit is complicated. You keep secrets, you tell lies, you do what you need to in order to survive and keep others safe. Look at these youngsters who think that non-stop honesty is always the way to go. Or is in any way easy even when it should be done:

Yang still looks pissed as hell despite thoroughly being proven wrong

and then makes her announcement that she’ll stay if Ruby stays, but no more secrets or half-truths. Ozpin agrees with “Understood.”

Which, obviously, the fandom has used as the go-to moment to damn Ozpin. You promised not to lie and then you did! Which yeah, that isn’t great. He should have been honest here in his inability to promise such a thing. However, that’s not the only factor in all this. We also have the fact that “no more lies or half truths” does not equal “tell us every single detail about this war right now that includes your very personal and traumatic history.” We have the issue that Yang and many of the others (notably Jaune) were unwilling to judge Ozpin fairly from the get-go. They decided that he was guilty before the trail even began and, when faced with evidence that proved all their assumptions wrong, decided to ignore it rather than admitting they were wrong. You’re going to trust a group like that with world-altering secrets? And we finally have the issue that Yang herself clearly doesn’t believe in her own ultimatums. Or doesn’t think they should apply to her. Keeping Raven’s Maiden power a secret? Turning on Ironwood to spill the beans to Robyn and letting her escape? I don’t put must stock in a character’s outraged, “You kept secrets and lied?” when they’re keeping secrets and lying too. The group’s inability to make the jump from “Wow. Sometimes we do need to keep information close to the chest” to “Oh. I guess it makes sense then that Ozpin would do the same thing” is one of the things that still characterizes them as naive, hypocritical, and downright dangerous given the stakes.

From a fandom perspective though, I’m not at all surprised that a completely unambiguous admission from Qrow---“We made a choice. We wanted this”---holds no weight. 1. Because he’s another adult that can’t be trusted (see: the group turning on him with their weapons in the snow) and 2. Because the concept of a “choice” apparently disappears whenever Ozpin is thrown into the mix. This is the same thing we’ve seen regarding Pyrrha, the claim that she couldn’t really make a choice. It was never a choice at all. She was manipulated/pressured/steered into being a Maiden so the choice is only a “choice.” Ozpin is still at fault. Now here’s Qrow, saying he made a choice, and fans tend to talk over that with, “No. You only thought you had a choice but I’m sure Ozpin did something off screen that puts him at fault” (see: Qrow saying straight out that Ozpin doesn’t know what happened to Summer and everyone jumping to, “No he definitely does and just lied to Qrow.” Ozpin’s off screen villainy is brought up with a shocking amount of frequency) The fandom takes headcanons and assumptions as fact, leading to an inability to attribute agency to anyone if Ozpin was at all involved in their choice. Ruby entering Beacon, Pyrrha deciding to take on the power, Qrow choosing to be a bird... all of it has been re-framed as Ozpin “forcing” them in one manner or another, which is not only untrue but a real disservice to all their characters. The only time Ozpin “forced” someone to do anything is when he forced Oscar to get involved in this fight, and that’s only “forcing” via unavoidable circumstances. Yeah, technically you could let the farm boy live out his life and just screw the rest of the world... but that would make you a villain via inaction. As someone who was given an actual uninformed choice via the God of Light, Ozpin does a great deal to make sure people know what they’re getting into. Checking at the very last second if Pyrrha is still willing to go through with this. Telling the group to leave now if they’re not wiling to help secure the relic. It’s just that he has to balance that transparency with the never ending risk of information falling into the wrong hands/someone else betraying him... which is no easy task. Do you look at the angry teenager who took her bandit mother’s words at face value and go, “Yes, now is a great time to tell them information that as of yet in no way affects them and would absolutely decimate their mental health at best and lead to them screwing me over at worst”? No. That’s stupid and dangerous and, based on how the group has reacted thus far, just going to make the whole situation that much worse.

#rwby #mymetas #oddnub

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adaparkwrites · 4 years

Note

Hi! I’m kind of new to the proper writeblr side of tumblr so pls forgive me if this not a good question. I’ve always wanted to write an original novel but for some reason I always fall “out of love” with my ideas. I write fanfic and it’s easy there because it doesn’t matter as much, I can just take the characters and write a new fic another time, but for my OC’s... I’m so focused on finding the perfect plot and perfect setting that I end up hating everything and not writing :( any tips? 💕

Hello! This is a great question, and I’m happy to offer any advice/tips I can.

(Huge post, content under the cut!)

Transition from Fanfiction to Original Fiction

I, too, wrote fanfiction actively for much of my life. Here are some main differences between fanfiction and original fiction I found:

What I like better about fanfiction

Characters: In fanfiction, characters already exist, you just need to portray them. In original fiction, you have to breathe life into brand new human beings! That was tricky at first for me.

Worldbuilding: In fanfiction, the world is already there. It can be easier to immerse yourself in a world that already exists.

What I like better about original fiction

Characters: My characters can be whoever I want. I don’t have to worry about portraying them true to someone else’s canon, because canon belongs to me.

Worldbuilding: It’s tons of fun to build an original world. Instead of adhering to the laws of a pre-existing universe, I can make up my own.

Both fanfiction and original fiction have their pros and cons. I found writing both helped exercise my creative muscles!

When transitioning to original fiction, it’s okay to write stories where the plot/setting is based off your favorite fandoms. These kinds of “heavily inspired” stories are great practice! Like training wheels as you ride the line between fanfiction and original.

Example of the Transition

Meet Anna! I made her up. She loves writing fanfiction about The Hunger Games, but she wants to publish original sci-fi novels one day. Anna decides to ease herself into original fiction gradually.

Fanfiction, with genre elements: Anna writes a new Hunger Games fanfiction, but Katniss and Cato are fighting in space. She experiments with worldbuilding in the familiar environment of Panem, extending its empire to the stars.

The ‘heavily inspired’ story: After a few months, Anna writes a sci-fi book with her OC Odis. The plot is basically “Hunger Games but in space”, but includes some original worldbuilding to adapt the setting to an interstellar backdrop. Jabberjays no longer exist, but an alien race called the Ja’blian does!

The new story: Anna decides to make a New Year’s resolution to write a new book. This time, Odis is exploring space when he’s captured by a hostile alien civilization. Thrown into an enclosed arena, Odis must fight other alien lifeforms to the death. He wins and prepares to escape. Plot twist! As he runs to his ship, the planet starts dying around him. Odis learns the planet itself is alive. It’s an old, angry god that demands bloodshed, threatening to turn itself uninhabitable if its denizens fail its demands. Will Odis sacrifice himself for the bloodthirsty planet, or can he find another solution?

Anna’s new writing still retains a favorite element inspired from The Hunger Games (fight to the death), but it has taken an original twist of its own. She decides to polish this manuscript further and pursue publishing it!

Troubleshooting: Plot and Setting

Sometimes things go wrong, but that’s okay! Writing is a life-long learning process. As long as you have the determination to push through, you’ll always move forward. In my opinion, that willpower is the single most important ingredient for a writer’s success!

Now for your plot and setting concerns:

Many fanfictions have amazing plots! But even the most basic plots can attract an audience, since the readers are already invested in those worlds.

Unfortunately, original fiction lacks that safety net. It can be a daunting task to construct an entirely new premise from scratch. Sometimes, the hardest part of building a compelling plot/setting is knowing where to start!

So Where Do I Start?

Judging by your ask, you seem to be character-focused. Even when you get frustrated with your worlds and move onto the next... you take your OCs with you. The love and care you show your OCs will be absolutely essential for building a plot!

I’ll be using the example of our sci-fi friend, Anna. She wants to write a sequel to her sci-fi novel, but she’s having trouble with the plot. Luckily, she is still attached to her main character Odis, so these strategies can help her out.

OC’s Goal: What does your OC want most? Think of a way to stop them from reaching that goal. Now they will have to make a journey or a sacrifice (tangible or intangible). Think of what your OC needs to do now.

Example: Odis dreams of finding love when he returns to Earth. But he crash-lands on yet another dangerous alien planet, and his spaceship is wrecked again. Now he has to enter the alien city to find replacement parts.

OC’s Arc: Your OC is going to change as a person. What about them will be different? Think of ideas to bring about these changes.

Example: Odis is abrasive and arrogant. Before he can find love, he needs to learn humility. Maybe he is caught stealing machine parts in the alien city and must do community service.

OC’s Error: Your OC believes something incorrect. What is this false belief they’re clinging to? Think of ideas to shake these beliefs.

Example: Odis believed he could only fall in love with another human. But as he cleans the matriarch trees for community service, he catches a glimpse of a handsome alien watching him from the branches...

I hope this helped! Best of wishes in your writing pursuits, and remember to have fun!

#writing advice #writing resources #writing tips #writeblr #writblr #writers on tumblr #writing #writing-advice #writing-resources #writing-tips #fanfiction #plot #plotting #plot development #writer #writers #ada post #answered asks #Anonymous

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artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

Enough (Jankie) - Katheriney

The New York drag scene really wasn’t that big. Everyone knew about everyone, which meant that of course Jackie had heard of Jan, been to a few of her shows even. She had to assume it was the same the other way around. But, Jackie had never really spoken to Jan before. They had never done a show together. Their drag shows were quite different.

Jackie was glad Drag Race had acquainted them. Jackie and Jan had become quite close during the season’s filming. Jan was so eccentric and easy to talk to. There was only one problem about her. Jackie couldn’t stop thinking about her, and not in a friendly way.

She felt terrible. Jan would be talking about how there was a new cute girl at her club and instead of encouraging her. Jackie felt jealousy boiling in her stomach, taking away the butterflies only for a moment. Jan would laugh and tell her she wasn’t really going to pursue the new girl and Jackie would suppress a sigh of relief and her butterflies would come flittering and fluttering back.

Jackie willed her thoughts of Jan to be innocent. She had a crush on her friend was all. She had crushes on her friends all through high school and college, so this wasn’t that different. Except, it was different. Jackie could barely complete basic human tasks with Jan around, and it seemed Jan was always around. She would stumble while walking up the stairs to her apartment or burn herself while curling her hair. She spilled hot water all over while trying to make mac and cheese. Jan had a hold on Jackie’s psyche and she had no idea.

Jan came to Jackie’s everyday almost immediately after waking. Jackie couldn’t help but sometimes pretend that she lived there with her and they were deeply in love when she saw Jan sitting on the floor looking content as ever, but then Jan would say her goodbyes in the early morning hours and Jackie would sulk her way into bed.

It was a Friday night and Jackie had invited some of her sisters over. When she told Jan the news she didn’t seem as excited as Jackie thought she would be. She always talked about missing them, so she should have been over the roof that they were going to be all in one place for once. Jan had gotten to her apartment around 1 in the afternoon. The other girls weren’t supposed to be there until 10 or so. Jackie and Jan laughed and talked like a normal day, but Jackie could see Jan constantly looking up at the clock on her wall.

“Why are you acting so weird about the girls coming over?” Jackie asked her. Jan knew she didn’t need to answer if she didn’t want to, and she definitely did not want to.

“I don’t know. I’m just not feeling socializating tonight. Do you know what I mean?” Jan answered her anyway.

“Of course I do. You don’t have to. You can go home for the night.” Jackie suggested.

“But, I wanna hang out with you,“ Jan whined. “And I want to see the other girls too. I’m sure I’ll feel better once they get here.” Jan shot her a million dollar smile and Jackie wasn’t convinced, but she let it go. Jan looked up at the clock again. Jackie sighed and got up to start cooking dinner. Jan took out her phone to keep her occupied on the couch.

About a half an hour later Jan appeared behind Jackie. She let her head rest on Jackie’s shoulder and her hands rest lightly on her waist. “Do you need help? I’m bored.” Jan said softly into her ear. Jackie jumped a bit, but smiled.

“I told you it would be a boring day here before the girls get here. I don’t need any help. You can sit right there and watch me finish the sauce, though.” Jackie pointed to a stool close to her as she stirred her spaghetti sauce adding her ingredients little by little to make it just right. Jan was obviously not happy about this, but sat with her head resting in her hand as it seemed it was her only choice.

Soon enough there was a knock on the door. “Here mix this.” Jackie passed the spoon to Jan and ran to the door. When she opened the door she was met with three faces, Gigi, Crystal and Jaida. They had huge smiles plastered on their faces and each pulled Jackie in for a hug. “Jan’s in the kitchen.” Jackie said and then leaned in closer to the three girls to whisper, “Cheer her up she’s been in a mood today.” They nodded, and with Crystal leading they skipped into the kitchen.

The night moved along quite swimmingly. Jan was acting like her normal self again while they all sat in a circle on the floor. She laughed at something stupid Crystal would say. She listened intently to Jaida’s stories. She was leaning on Gigi’s side with her head on her shoulder. Jackie could not have been more happy to see Jan was finally having a good time. There was no more glares thrown the clock’s way and she truly seemed to be happy.

That was until Jaida started telling a story that none of the girls could really comprehend between her giggles and flailing arms. What Jan was able to make out was Jackie’s name. Jackie must have understood her because she was quick to swat her arm and tell her to shut up, in the nicest way possible, but Jan was intrigued to say the least and Gigi seemed to be just as interested.

So, the two of them pressed Jaida to tell the story again more clearly. And she did. Jaida told the girls how one night after filming the show, but before the cast was released Jaida was visiting New York. Jan remembers that week. She remembered Jaida wanting to stay at Jackie’s apartment instead of Jan’s. She wasn’t hurt, but she was surprised because she didn’t know the girls were close. She assumed they must have gotten closer once Jan was eliminated.

Jaida continued her story and Jackie hid her blushing face behind Jaida’s back. Jaida recounted that her and Jackie had hooked up that week, many, many times. Jan could feel herself shrink down against Gigi, but she tried to keep an amused face to keep the story going. She told the girls that it was the best sex she had had in years, and that’s why she stayed an extra three nights.

Jan couldn’t really tell if she was more angry or sad at the new information that was being thrown at her. Jackie and Jaida had been touchy that week, but Jackie is touchy with everyone. Jackie had kicked Jan out almost four hours earlier than she usually leaves, claiming to be wore out and needed to get to bed.

Jackie lifted her head from its hiding spot behind Jaida with a smile to look at the girls reactions. She saw Jan’s face and body language and her smile dropped. She quickly swisher Jaida from telling anymore details that could make Jan any more uncomfortable than she already was. She wished she hadn’t let Jaida continue at all. Jan wasn’t easily disturbed, but she guessed talking about her best friends sex life was a line she wasn’t supposed to cross. As quickly and stealthily as she could she kicked the three girls out. She told them not to have too much fun in their shared hotel room and Gigi rolled her eyes.

“Not as much fun as you and Jaida had, huh?” She snickered before running away with the other girls giggling and following behind her.

Jan had sat herself at the far end of the small couch with her knees up to her chin. Jackie turned from the door and she felt awkward. Like, she wasn’t quite sure what to say. Not wanting to cross the line that had obviously been crossed. Jackie sat on the opposite side. “Jaida is a good story teller. You know, most of the story was elaborated.” Jackie sat softly trying to break some tension. Jan just nodded. “I’m sorry if you’re uncomfortable. If I would have known it would make you feel that way I wouldn’t have let her tell it."

"Its not that I’m uncomfortable. Well, I’m a bit uncomfortable, but I’m just mad.” She said looking up into Jackie’s eyes. Jackie had been wrong, so wrong. She could see the anger that boiled in her eyes clearly now.

“You’re mad? Why are you mad?” Jackie didn’t want to get into an argument with her, so she said it as kindly as she could without seeming condescending.

“Because! Ugh!” Jan pushed her knees down from her chin to the couch. She was practically shaking. She grabbed a pillow and pulled against her chest. “Jaida didn’t want to stay with me. She basically begged to stay with you, and then you kicked me out every night at ten! For what? To fuck in your bed or on this couch?” Jan yelled at her.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you wanted to stay with her so bad. I thought it was fine if she stayed here since you’re here everyday anyway.” Jackie put a hand on her knee and sighed trying to think of more to say. Anything to say that wouldn’t make her more angry at her.

“Its not even about that, fuck! You don’t get it!” Jan clutched onto her pillow, but didn’t pull away from Jackie’s hand.

“Is it about kicking you out? Is it about the couch because I sprayed it and everything, promise!"

"God dammit,” she whispered. “It’s not about the fucking couch.”

“Then help me out here, Jan. What is it about?” Jackie asked her calmly.

“Ugh!” Jan sighed loudly into the air. “You fucked her. You and her fucked. You guys fucked right after I had been here. You kicked me out to fuck her.”

“I’m sorry, but did it make you uncomfortable that we hooked up?"

"No, you idiot. We’ve been over this. I know that you can hook up with whoever you want. I know that. I really do, but thinking about it makes me so… I don’t know, fuck! And then, you hooked up with Jaida and that thought makes me so mad.” Jackie looked at her with a confused expression. She squeezed Jan’s knee and opened her mouth to speak, but Jan cut her off. “Why didn’t you pick me? I’ve been here this whole time, sitting here on your couch every single day, just like Jaida and it took here mere hours to get you to notice her. I sit here day in and day out begging you to give me any sort of attention. Just to touch me! Kiss me! Anything! And Jaida is here for an hour and you’re already in her pants.” Jan spoke fast and clearly to her, but didn’t lift her eyes.

“Jan, honey.” Jackie lifted her chin with two fingers.

“No!” Jan jerked her head from Jackie’s hand. “Why am I not good enough for you?” Jan let herself cry. It was just a soft cry, like she had cried for her before. “Why can’t you hold me like you held her, or kiss me like you kissed her?"

"Sweetie, I don’t want to kiss you like I kissed her. She doesn’t mean as much to me as you do.” Jackie pulled the girl against her chest and let her cry. “You are more than enough. I just didn’t know you wanted me like that."

"I’ve wanted you since the moment we spoke.” Jan sobbed.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t know. I want you too. You don’t know how many times I’ve bit my tongue when you talked about other girls. Or, all the times I’ve wanted to reach out and kiss you or hold you.” Jan whispered into her hair.

“Really?” The blonde smiled up at her with tears in her eyes.

“Yes, of course, always.” Jan hugged her closer, pulling her onto her lap.

#rpdr fanfiction #jan sport #jackie cox #jankie #useless lesbians #lack of communication #jaida essence hall #gigi goode #crystal methyd #jackie x jaida #but not really #katheriney #s12 #rare pair #submission

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falcxns · 3 years

Text

PINTEREST. WANTED CONNECTIONS.

BASICS.

full name: ana bryce-laporte aka falcon aka who put this bitch in charge

age: forty-one (but also, it’s rude to ask a lady her age)

gender & pronouns: cis woman (she/her)

date of birth: november 20th, 1979

hometown: dallas, texas (grew up in new zealand)

sexual orientation: bisexual

relationship status: single n ready 2 mingle

religion: catholic (non-practising)

nationality: dual nationality - american & new zealand

APPEARANCE.

face claim: tessa thompson

height: 5ft”3 (usually around 5”6 with her shoes)

tattoos: too many to count, but only half of them are on view at any time (with the other half reserved for intimate lovers)

piercings: three sets in her ears, nose, closed eyebrow piercing

personal style: grunge, punk, black clothing

other notable physical characteristics: a dozen scars picked up from her work, each of which has a killer story behind it.

PERSONALITY.

traits: witty, private, easy going, impulsive, stubborn, protective

zodiac: virgo

mbti: ESFP

moral alignment: chaotic good

hobbies/interests: gymnastics, hiking, bar crawls (if that counts), tinder hookups

habits: excessive drinking, smoking, swearing

FAMILY.

parents: aristo bryce-laporte (father), maria bryce-laporte (mother)

siblings: n/a

pets: a stray cat she adopted called peanut

other notable relatives/figures in their life: n/a - maternal and paternal grandparents dead, parents both only children.

BACKGROUND.

(tw: alcohol, smoking, drugs, murder death)

was born to two aspiring american diplomats who quickly cut their teeth on the international scene working for the state department in new zealand & the pacific islands. her parent’s, bless their hearts, truly believed in diplomacy, accountability and international cooperation. ana isn’t so naive.

although she was technically born in texas, ana was born and raised in wellington, new zealand and has the kiwi accent to show for it, even after all these years. it’s particularly pronounced when she’s angry, or been drinking.

a little excessive ball of energy, she would have been a handful for any parents - let alone those with little time on their hands. unsure what to do with their loud, hyperactive child, they enrolled her into every sport they could think of, hoping it would wear her down. football and dance never stuck, but ana fell in love with gymnastics. she spent most of her life working towards the goal of olympic trials.

ambitions of a gold medal fell apart when she was a teeanger. on paper, it may have been a hamstring injury that ended her hopes, but the truth was that ana used it as an excuse to dip out, chafing under the rigour of training and knowing she didn’t have the self control to stay focused.

spent most of her teenage years developing lifelong bad habits instead - a taste for whiskey, rolled cigarettes and petty crimes (although she’s mostly reined in the rule breaking, doesn’t look great on her HR file).

her recruiter turned out to be one her parent’s close colleagues at the state department, someone she’d known since she was five and referred to as “uncle”. having given up gymnastics, ana didn’t have any solid career goals and was terrified of being left in the lurch by her peers - so when her favourite uncle came along and made her an offer, she couldn’t refuse. she thought she saw obsidian clearly - high paced thrills, living out her james bond fantasy. reality was a little different.

as an organisation, she can’t stand obsidian. she’s always resented orders, hates the feeling of continually being assessed and is shit scared about what happens if you fuck up. that’s traded off against the work itself - for most of her career, ana was special agent tasked with taking out and extracting targets, utilising her gymnastics skills to get in and out of tight spots. she became addicted to the danger too, high on the idea that it could all fall apart at any moment.

but the thing she loved most about obsidian was isabelle. a french make up artist recruited the same time as her, the pair were fast friends, then partners and eventually - lovers. ana may have been utterly uninterested in climbing the ranks, content to stay at a low clearance level if it kept her doing tasks she adored, isabelle was the opposite - and asked ana to apply her talent so they could rise together. for the sake of love, ana agreed.

of course, it all fell apart - about five years ago now. it was supposed to be a routine mission - until ana’s team got into a tight spot. when shit hit the fan, ana cockily assumed she could take out the target and save her girlfriend. she was wrong. isabelle ended up dead - and ana has blamed herself ever since.

she’s been grieving for five years now - and become the worst version of herself; closed off, emotionally detached from most of her coworkers, indulging in her vices and throwing herself into her missions just to feel something. she’s quite skilled at hiding the true extent of her messiness from obsidian, which is probably why...

...after red dawn’s team leader “retired” (ana doesn’t know if they offed him or not and isn’t going to put her neck on the line by asking), she was hauled into her superior’s office and asked to assume leadership. she knew that if she said no, she’d probably be fired - or worse - and since she isn’t great at thinking things through - agreed.

that was two weeks ago. now, she’s about to take control of her first mission, a position she’s completely unsuitable for.

#intro #about

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little-bard · 4 years

Text

The one where Jaskier is cursed and becomes a women

I haven’t written fan fiction in a long time this is my warm up bear with me. This may get kinda NSFW but I’ll try to keep it tame.

Jaskier hadn’t seen the Witcher in some time, maybe 6 months. Last time he did he was basically told he was the worst thing to ever happened to Geralt and he caused all the problems they came across. He wouldn’t have agreed to that statement a month ago, but now he was possibly considering it to be true.

•••

While traveling on his own he had drunkenly flirted a little too hard with a sorceress. He wouldn’t have approached her and accidentally grazed her bottom with his hands had he known and had he not been drunk. She played into his act all to get him alone and curse him with having to feel what women experience every day from drunk men. Or what they just experienced every day of their lives.

When he awoke the next day not remembering what had happened he felt strange. He slowly rose from the bed he looked down at a body that was not his. Very obviously not his. It was the body of a voluptuous woman. He quickly hurried over to the mirror in the room he was staying in. He stared at himself. He didn’t see his normal self in the mirror instead he saw a woman barely covered by the shirt he had on last night. It was a curvy woman with a large chest, wide hips, plush thighs and ass. She was shorter then he was. He would have thought it was a whole different person had she not had the same cornflower blue eyes he did and the same chestnut brown hair only longer. He touched his face and his body. His hands were smaller and more feminine but still had a small callous from playing his lute. He pinched himself, as this must be a dream. It had to be no way this was real.

“Ow... fuck.” He exclaimed with a sigh in a softer more feminine but equally as beautiful voice to his own. Suddenly what had happened the night before came back to him. He silently cursed himself for being a horny idiot. After an hour he had calmed his nerves and sorted himself out. And went on the hunt for some new clothes as his old ones wouldn’t fit this new body too well.

•••

That was a month ago and Jaskier had spent his time searching for a way to break his curse. He had figured out the simple tasks of being a woman. He did enjoy the dress he has bought himself and styling his hair and making himself as beautiful as he could. It was an art form the women he loves did that he found amazing and now he enjoyed doing. But he has also figured out some of the bad things of being a woman some he felt he had added to as a man. He learned within a week he couldn’t travel alone and as he had to travel to maybe find a way to break this curse and get his regular body back, he found a nice group of musicians to travel with. They were all men but only tried to flirt and hit on him when drunk. When they played shows Jaskier always noticed even tho his new lovely sirens voice brought in crowds and certainly his beautiful face brought in men he always got paid less out of the group of them. He also noticed that men thought it was okay to touch him or grope him during songs. He had dealt with that before but not to this extent. He learned to fend for himself and get them to leave him alone but it didn’t help his fear that he had to pull a knife on men who couldn’t take no for an answer.

He was often asked if he was a whore for a few coins which he found offensive yet not. The women who were prostitutes he met in this month were the nicest and always willing to help him fix his hair or dress or tell him which men to stay away from. So he didn’t mind being lumped in with them but he also didn’t want to sell himself for money. That was the one thing Jaskier hadn’t done in this body, let anyone touch him intimately. He had, of course, touched himself but always to the same dream, one of Geralt. But that wasn’t new, he had been having that dream since he first met the Witcher. Jaskier had been with men and women as a man before but once he laid eyes on Geralt he found every other partner he was with lackluster. He realized early on that he loved Geralt and only wanted the Witcher’s strong arms to be the ones to hold him. But he knew Geralt would never love him back so he filled his time with random lover one after another.

•••

Today Jaskier thought he had finally found a sorcerer to help him break his curse, but turned out to be just a man lying to get him alone. Jaskier left that situation bruised and the man left castrated. He walked into the pub where he and his travel companions were singing tonight with a saddened expression. He walked over to them and picked up his lute.

“Smile. We won’t get any money if you don’t smile girly” said the eldest man of their troop. Jaskier put on his best fake smile and nodded. The man then turned to the crowd and said “I heard the white wolf was here tonight! So we thought we would sing the song of his adventure by the bard Jaskier”

Jaskier’s head snapped up from his lute and looked around the pub. Suddenly his eyes saw him. They connected with yellow cat eyes in the corner. He’d know those eyes and that silver-white hair anywhere. Geralt. Geralt was really there. He had wanted to see Geralt for months but.. not like this. He was still in the wrong body. There’s no way his Witcher would recognize him.

Jaskier played and sang with his companions. The whole time his eyes catching with Geralt's more then he would have wanted but he couldn’t stop staring. Had the Witcher gotten hotter? Once they had played a few songs Jaskier got a drink and sat across from Geralt. “Hello.” He spoke softly. He had now gotten used to his female voice so it didn’t phase him as much to speak or sing anymore.

“Hello.” Geralt spoke. Geralt's voice was still the same. As deep and as lovely as ever. It sends shivers down Jaskier's spine and did something weird to his heart and body. Geralt was giving him the same eyes Jaskier had seen him give many women on their adventures. The ‘things I would do to you’ eyes. Jaskier had always longed for those eyes to be on him but now that they were but in this situation Jaskier felt dirty and angry. Why couldn’t Geralt have looked at him like this when he was a man?

“Geralt of Rivera... would you mind accompanying me to my room?” Jaskier asked in his softest most lovely voice.

“Hmm.” Geralt responded and Jaskier knew what he meant because they had spent so much time together. ‘Go and I’ll follow’

Jaskier chugged his drink and stood up heading for the room the pub owner rented him. He could feel Geralt’s presence behind him. He opened his door slowly and stepped in. Geralt walked in and placed his bag down. Jaskier found himself sitting on the edge of his bed not knowing what to say. He had gone mute. A rare thing for the bard. He didn’t want anything to happen but there Geralt was in his room, pining for him, his dream. Geralt kneeled in front of him and lifted his skirt with his hand slowly to trace his thigh.

“Hmm.” Geralt basically purred. Jaskier stared at witcher. At his witcher. Geralt looked up and paused his action for a moment staring into Jaskier’s eyes. He shook his head slowly after a few moments. “Sorry, you just reminded me of a past friend.” He continued to rub Jaskiers thigh and slowly went in to kiss it. Before he could Jaskier’s head cleared and he spoke.

“Geralt it’s because I am your friend. I’m Jaskier.” He spoke softly and held Geralt's hand still and moved it off his thigh.

“What? No stop lying wench.” Geralt stood up disgusted almost.

“GERALT LOOK AT ME! LOOK INTO MY EYES! A curse may change my body but it doesn’t change who I am! I know you can see it Geralt! I know you can if you just look.” Jaskier pleaded. He needed Geralt he needed him to notice him and help him and hold him. He needed to have someone know the truth.

Geralt paused for a moment. He stared deep into Jaskier’s eyes. It could have been for a moment or maybe it was for 5 whole minutes neither one of them could tell. But the Geralt spoke.

“Fuck,” he said softly. “That was the curse I could feel on you. I assumed it was a small one or something.”

Jaskier’s eyes filled with tears. He couldn’t tell if they were from relief or happiness or something else entirely. “Geralt I’m so sorry. You were right I am the worst thing that ever happened to you.” He sobbed.

“No Jaskier, I was extremely wrong. You’re one of the best things that happened to me. I was stupid to say those things to you. I was upset about something else and you were there so I took it out on you. I was wrong.” Geralt said the most he has said all night as he took Jaskier into his arms. He had been wanting to say this to the bard but didn’t know if he would find him so soon. Jaskier held onto Geralt as he sobbed.

Geralt slowly moved them up the bed and laid them down. He held Jaskier and let him cry. He had no idea what Jaskier had been through but he knew it couldn’t have been easy. And to be honest the Witcher felt more at home with Jaskier then he had the whole 6 months he had been alone. Jaskier quickly fell asleep after he stopped crying, tears still staining his cheeks.

Geralt slowly moved out of the bed. He grabbed a blanket and placed it over Jaskier. He looked down at the person before him. He knew there was a reason he followed this maiden after not entering a single person’s bed for 6 months. He convinced himself it was just guilt over being so mean to Jaskier that slowed his libido or how the road had made him start to smell worse then roach. But staring at Jaskier it all finally clicked. He hadn’t wanted anyone else because he missed the bard, his bard. Jaskier had always had Geralt’s heart, the witcher was just too ashamed to admit it even to himself. He loved it when Jaskier sang. He loved that Jaskier understood everything he said even when he didn’t actually say it. He loved Jaskier’s beautiful blue eyes he could almost drown in. He got jealous when Jaskier’s attention was on anyone else. He loved how Jaskier’s arms felt around him when they rode roach together. He loved Jaskier.

Geralt leaned down and softly kissed the tear marks on Jaskier’s cheeks. He laid back down in the bed next to Jaskier holding the bard once more. He fell asleep smelling Jaskiers hair.

•••

The next morning Jaskier awoke first. He watched Geralt sleep, something he had done many times before, but never from this close. Geralt was as marvelous asleep as he was awake but somehow him looking so peaceful brought a big smile to Jaskier’s lips. Jaskier quickly closed his eyes and pretended to still be asleep as he noticed Geralt starting to wake up, hoping he was fast enough for Geralt not to notice his staring.

Geralt did notice but chose not to say anything. He stood up and stretched. “Jaskier it’s time to wake up” He smiled looking at the bard obviously faking sleep.

“Oh wow, good morning Geralt how long have you been awake?” Jaskier ‘yawned’ and asked as innocently as he could.

“Long enough,” Geralt said simply. He grabbed his bag and looked over at the bard. “We’ll head out tonight after I kill a monster and get some coin. I’m assuming that gives you enough time to say goodbye to your traveling buddies?”

Jaskier climbed out of bed and nodded. “Yeah, I’ll tell them and do one last grand performance tonight. Will I see you there witcher?” He put his hair up in a quick bun and looked at himself in the mirror trying to make himself presentable and have his face clean of drool.

It was weird seeing Jaskier as a woman, but Geralt was already strangely use to it. Jaskier looked marvelous as a man or a woman, he still looked like Jaskier to Geralt. The more he looked at the women before him the more he saw it. “Hmm. I’ll kill the monster as fast as I can just so I can come watch. We’ll leave after.” Geralt said as he put on his shoes and smiled at the back of the bard.

Jaskier turned around and smiled kindly at Geralt. The very same smile he always had. “I wish you luck good witcher.”

Geralt stood up and walked towards the door. “Alright, I’m off my fair lady” He chuckled a little bit. Jaskier threw a pillow at the closing door with some grumbling about “I’m as much of a lady as you are a gentleman” Geralt couldn’t help but smile. It felt good to have Jaskier close again.

•••

Geralt walked into the pub as the performance was going on, but it had just started. Jaskier was in rare form tonight, he was bright and glowing. He had a few men try to touch him inappropriately as he preformed but he always slapped their hands and gave them a glare. Geralt was proud of how he handled himself. But he stepped close to the one he thought might take it too far and stood against the wall near him. Just in case. The performance ended and Geralt clapped along with everyone else. Jaskier gave Geralt of his beautiful smiles as he bowed.

A little while after Jaskier met Geralt outside where Roach was waiting. “I’m almost ready. Just one of the boys was borrowing my lute. I’m gonna go get it and then we can leave.” He placed his hand on the witcher's arm before walking off quickly. The faster this was over the faster he could leave with Geralt and the faster they could break the curse.

Jaskier saw Thomas a member of his traveling troop outside on the side of the pub. “Hey bud, can I have my lute? I gotta go.” He smiled at the man.

sexual assault warning

It was dark and as Jaskier stepped closer to him he felt in danger. But not soon enough because Thomas grabbed him. He tried to scream but quickly found a hand over his mouth. “Shhh. I know you’re leaving with that Witcher we wouldn’t want him to hear you.” The man whispered is Jaskier’s ear. Jaskier’s eyes widened in panic. The one time he let his guard down and this happens.”No Jas, you're a lovely lady I’m sure you know what I want. Just give me the same service you did the witcher last night before we have to say goodbye.” He added in a voice Jaskier now found disgusting.

Jaskier found against the man’s grasp. He started to fondle and grope Jaskier with his free hand all still holding him pinned against the wall so Jaskier couldn’t move.

It's over

“I heard a scream are you alright Jaskier!” called out a familiar gruff voice. Geralt walked around the corner and once he saw the action in front of him, he was filled with rage. He grabbed the man and tore him off Jaskier. He then threw him to the ground and started beating him ruthlessly.

It took Jaskier’s brain a moment to un fuzz as he stood there crying silently. Once it had he knew he had to get Geralt off the bloody man. “Geralt! Stop it! He’s had enough, I’m fine.”

Geralt punched the man one more time before standing up. “If I ever see your face again, I won’t hesitate to kill you.” He snarled as the man stood and ran away. Jaskier hugged Geralt and held him tightly.

“Thank you. I let my guard down I’m so sorry” He cried softly into Geralt’s chest. Geralt held Jaskier equally as tightly.

“Jaskier, you have no reason to be sorry. He should be sorry for doing what he did. I promise to never let anyone hurt you again. You’re my bard, no one shall lay an ill-intentioned hand on you again.” He spoke softly. Sweetly. He cupped Jaskier’s cheek in his hand and looked down at him.

Jaskier stared up at Geralt and sniffled softly. He had stopped crying while hearing Geralt's words. They looked into each other's eyes and slowly their faces neared. They kissed softly and slowly. It was full of love and passion.

Jaskier’s mind cleared and he pushed Geralt away after a good minute of kissing. Geralt looked at him confused.

“Don’t do anything you wouldn’t do to me as a man Geralt. I love you. I have loved you. I can’t have you treat me this way as women and never again after we break this curse. My heart can't handle having you close and then never having that again. I’m very much a man. I like to think a very strong man, but when it comes to you Geralt. I’m weak.”

Geralt pulled Jaskier close again and gave him another kiss. “Jaskier, I love you too. I think I even prefer you as a man because then you're you. The Jaskier I fell in love with.”

The biggest smile reached Jaskier’s lips. It was the most beautiful thing Geralt had ever seen. “Okay, lets head out I’m sure roach had missed me.”

•••

Since Jaskier hadn’t actually received his lute back that night Geralt had spent his saved-up coin on a surprise for the bard. He arrived back to the inn where Jaskier and Roach were waiting for him outside.

“Kill the monster?” Jaskier called out when he saw a familiar shape with white hair approaching. He had bathed while Geralt was away and had his hair in 2 long braids. He was outside braiding Roach’s mane waiting for his handsome Witcher to come back.

“Don’t I always?” Geralt chuckled. “What are you doing to roach?” He cocked his head to the side as he walked closer.

“She wanted to be beautiful for your return. Besides, I have to use my new-found knowledge and she's a perfect model” Jaskier smiled brightly. Geralt was half surprised Jaskier hadn’t tried to put flowers in the horse's hair.

“Hmm” was all Geralt responded with and held Jaskier in his arms.

“I love you too” Jaskier responded knowing what Geralt meant, like always. He gave Geralt a small kiss. That's all they had been doing. Jaskier didn’t want to go too far until he was himself again. He needed to know Geralt loved him that way for himself even if Geralt had said it a million times throughout the week they had been traveling. “Come up, I have a bath half started for you.” Jaskier smiled and lead Geralt to their room.

Once in their room, Geralt started stripping off his clothes as Jaskier finished preparing the bath. He tried to make his staring at the scar covered muscular body not obvious. The Witcher noticed but once again said nothing.

Geralt climbed in and let his body relax into the water. Jaskier was still putting salts to make Geralt smell nice. He then sat behind Geralt's head on the floor next to the tub. He began to wet Geralt's hair and wash it for him. “Hmm,” Geralt said softly and happily, like a cat’s purr.

Jaskier smiled and started to sing songs softly to Geralt as he helped him bathe.

Once Geralt was done bathing he sat on the bed with Jaskier. Jaskier had started a habit of always brushing Geralt’s hair every night. He put two small braids in Geralt's hair near the front on each side. “There, perfect.” He smiled at Geralt and his work.

They laid down in the bed holding each other and sharing soft kisses. “It's so hard for me to hold back... I’m sorry” Geralt spoke after one of their kisses got a bit heated and Geralt’s hands on Jaskier’s ass became too much for the bard so he pulled away.

“I know me too,” Jaskier responded with a small blush on his cheeks. “Let’s just get some rest. We’ll break the curse soon.” He sighed.

•••

Jaskier was right. The next week they finally stumbled on a town with a mage who knew how to help.

“So he said I drink this and I say these words, and if I truly know what women suffer with in life the curse will be broken?” Jaskier said staring at the bottle and piece of paper in front of him.

“You also have to be looking at your reflection... naked.” Geralt added. He was sitting on the edge of the bed across from where Jaskier was standing. Jaskier had spent his last bit of coin on this room once Geralt had told him he found a cure. He was too excited not to.

“Oh okay. I guess I’ll do it now...” Jaskier said with a shaky voice. He had been waiting for his moment for a month and a half and yet he was scared.

“It’s okay to be nervous Jaskier, but I promise nothing bad will happen to you while I’m around.” Geralt gave his lover a kind smile.

“Okay. I can do this.” Jaskier said more determined now. He trusted Geralt. He stripped down and could feel the witcher’s gaze on him but ignored it. He took one last look at his woman's body in the mirror. “I’m gonna miss braiding my hair.” He said softly.

“You can always braid mine or roaches. Or grow yours out. I bet that would look cute on you.” Geralt said reassuringly.

“Okay, here it goes,” Jaskier said before drinking the liquid in the bottle. “a'baeth aen beanna” (a kiss from a woman in elder roughly)

It took a moment but Jaskier felt something pain inside him and closed his eyes. When he opened his eyes he saw his body. His actual man's body. He stared at himself in disbelief. It was the same as it was before this all happened. Well, it had changed a little, or at least he thought it had. He stared at his ass and thighs and thought they had grown the slightest bit plusher. As he stared at his naked body in the mirror he finally noticed the witcher in the corner of the mirror watching him. He grabbed the blanket that was on the chair next to the mirror and covered himself and turned around. “Hi Geralt,” He said in his regular beautiful yet still manly voice.

“Oh, how I’ve missed your voice.” Geralt stood up and walked over to the bard. He pulled Jaskier into a hug. “I’ve missed this you so much.”

“You do realize we forgot to get clothes that would fit me now right? I sold off all my old ones.” Jaskier said with a laugh and hugged Geralt back.

“I don’t clothes are going to be important now. I’ve been holding back for 2 weeks. I finally don’t have to.” Geralt smirked and leaned in to kiss Jaskier deeply and passionately. He lifted the bard up and wrapped Jaskier’s legs around his waist. He laid him down on the bed.

“I guess you’re right” Jaskier blushed when their lips finally parted. “I love you Geralt. My handsome heroic Witcher.”

“I love you Jaskier. My handsome talented bard.” Geralt replied before kissing Jaskier again.

•••

For the next 2 days, they didn’t leave their room at the inn. They lived out Jaskier’s every fantasy and more. He felt as if he could write a thousand songs about what he and witcher did and how the white wolf made his heart feel. Actually, he probably will. Jaskier stayed in their room in one of Geralt’s shirts as he waited for the witcher to arrive with clothes that would fit his, much smaller than the buff man’s, frame. He looked at all the marks Geralt had left on his skin and smiled.

Geralt returned a few hours later and handed Jaskier new clothes. “I hope you like them.” He smiled “Though I do quite love how you look in my shirt and nothing else.”

Jaskier blushed and changed. “Don’t worry witcher you’ll see in me in much less a lot more” He winked.

“Hmm,” Geralt responded with a small smile and hed Jaskier from behind and kissed his neck.

“I love you,” Jaskier said simply.

“I love you too.” Geralt responded with the 4 words Jaskier could never get enough of.

Okay, Thats the End! I hope you liked it. I haven’t written in awhile but this made me so happy to do. I feel like the whole trapped in female body might be from what I’ve been feeling lately. Sorry if you didn’t like it

#geralt of rivia #geralt #geralt x jaskier #jaskier x geralt #the witcher #fan fic #jaskier #geraskier #littlebardfic

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