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#because we know them as the audience but we don't know what the fuck they know and what they can do even if they canonically exist
cluescorner · 2 days
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Arlecchino's whole deal is unbelievable
Arlecchino: Huh I wonder what's causing my weird powers? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta become King and then kill my "Mother".
*Kills Clervie and "Mother"*
Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I was able to defeat a Fatui Harbinger when I'm like 17 or so? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta be in jail and become a Harbinger.
*Is in jail for a while and becomes a Harbinger*
Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I am-
Pierro: Hey what's up hello, anyways you're descended from the Crimson Moon Dynasty of Khaenri'ah. I'm sure that this is a lot for you to take in so-
Arlecchino: Ok.
Pierro: ...You're just cool with that?
Arlecchino: IDK maybe? I can't really worry about that at the moment, I'm a father now. This orphanage full of children I love (who also are child soldiers and are not allowed to leave or else I'll execute them except maybe now I'm just gonna wipe their memories IDK I'm morally complex) isn't gonna run itself.
*Runs the orphanage/spy recruitment initiative*
Me, the fucking player: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE KHAENRI'AN? WHY WASN'T THIS BROUGHT UP IN YOUR FUCKING QUEST?? OR ANYTHING ELSE????
Arlecchino, talking to me through my phone: I honestly don't know why you care, I'm too busy to give a shit. Anyways, I'm gonna go fight fate itself I guess. I'm sure that I don't share any thematic parallels with any other Khaenri'an characters (particularly as it relates to acting and family angst) and that I haven't made the idea of 'curses' on Khaenri'ans and what they entail even more complicated than they already were. See ya.
#arlecchino#genshin impact#pierro#WHY IS THE GAME FUCKING GLOSSING OVER THE FACT THAT SHE IS KHAENRI'AN?!#Not only that but she is the first Khaenri'an we've met (that we know of) who's from the Crimson Moon Dynasty#I'm so fucking confused#Did Celestia place a DIFFERENT curse on members of the Crimson Moon Dynasty?? Or is this stuff all of them can do???#HELP#She also seems almost...uninterested in the fact that she's descended from Khaenri'ah. Which honestly I think is interesting.#I don't know if I like it yet but when every other Khaenri'ah character has one of their major traits being that they super fucking#care that they are Khaenri'an (whether that be Kaeya with his paranoia/destiny/duty or Dain with his guilt over his failure/desire to#prevent our sibling from fucking with anything too much or whatever the fuck is going on with Pierro)#having a character who is Khaenri'an but doesn't seem to particularly be invested in that part of themself is different#she cares more about the curse and its effects on her then she ever really cares about the Crimson Moon Dynasty or the cataclysm#IDK I think it's neat from a character writing angle. or at least it has the potential to be if the writers do a good job.#But from a 'I like maybe 3 things in this game and one of them is Khaenri'ah' perspective it SUCKSSSSS#That part of the plot is already suffering from chronic live-service storytelling disease where people just straight up don't tell you#shit that they logically SHOULD BE TELLING YOU because the game needs to save plot points to build hype around#so for one of like 4-ish (depending on how much we count Albedo) Khaenri'an major characters to give us literally 1 and 1/2 voicelines#kinda sucks ngl. but again it's also interesting and realistic for Arlecchino and from that angle I like it#she doesn't care about what fate says her place in the world is. she's gonna carve her own and being Khaenri'an isn't relevant to#the life and identity she has built for herself. she isn't the type to look for answers she doesn't need. she's practical and efficient.#at the very least it's better than when Albedo 'I want to find all the world's truths' Kreideprinz doesn't let the audience in on his stuff
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flowerandblood · 2 days
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I don't like many of the authors' decisions here – sometimes their tropes, sometimes their choice of how they present events, dialogues, sometimes their characters, relationships between them or their appearance. It's not a bad thing. I have a right to feel this way.
But I would never tell them about it. Not because I don't have the courage to do it but because it would give them nothing, nothing good. You criticise when someone asks for it – when someone doesn't, then you should keep quiet.
Why? Because perhaps someone does not want this criticism and it's their right too. I, for example, don't care and I don't want to know how much someone dislikes something in my work. I don't need the fake appreciation of others, just as others don't need mine.
If I don't like someone's stories, I just leave them alone. God bless all of them! Write and be happy.
No one here is an oracle or judge, and some people feel that way. If you don't like what the authors are writing and their choices, give them a holy peace or else all you'll achieve is that they'll be discouraged from writing – they'll think: maybe nobody wants to read this after all, look at my characters, maybe it's pointless, maybe everyone thinks about me and my writing this way.
Sowing doubt and passive humiliation is very popular here for some reason and I find it incredibly annoying. People don't know when to shut their mouths and when their private opinion to which they are, after all, entitled hurts others, making them uncomfortable.
Our right to free speech should not cut someone's wings and mock them. This is an expression of disrespect and basic culture.
Not everyone has to want to change, to develop if it is not their profession but a simple hobby.
Anonymity does not make malicious gibberish sound any smarter, and a large audience or reactions under posts does not make anyone entitled to post an opinion in which they criticise works of others for their choices.
"Why do you write with only small letters? It's so annoying. This character would never do this, are you dumb? Aemond would never betray his family! Oh nooo, next Visenya on a big dragon? Why these OC's are so boring? Reader insert is just for you because you are desperate to fuck. Why do your OC is fat? Why do your OC is slim? Why do make your OC look like this, why won't you try something new? Why do you put Alys in your story as a third wheel when she is Aemond's real love interest?"
Shut. The fuck. UUUUUUP. GOD.
You say – you don't agree, don't read, I have a right to my opinion. Well, I say: your right does not absolve you from thinking about the feelings of others.
You are hypocrites. You cry and make a hiatus when someone sends you a nasty anon writing that you write crap, but you devote 2,000 words on your blog to why a certain trope doesn't make sense, why other authors don't have a right to make their OC's look the way they want.
What you write is not private, it's public. Who are you writing it to? Is it an expression of your frustration? Those you write it about can read it. They may feel very, very bad about it, they can think to stop writing at all or make themselves to do something against their will. But that's not your concern anymore, right?
Taking responsibility for your own words only when it's convenient for you is an expression of immaturity and that's what I see in this fandom – most people here are afraid of adulthood and the clash with it. Because in adulthood everything we do has consequences to face.
But it's easier to say that we simply have the right to express our opinion, no matter how hurtful and unfounded it may be.
I want to be clear – I will see anyone reblogging or write this kind of posts – I will block them. Even if I like you, if you are with me for a long time. I don't want to see this kind of toxic behavior on my wall ever again. Enough is enough.
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Persona Dashboard Simulator
🧮 gwenfenrir Follow
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🐃 feathered-umbrella -deactivated202383
polls that would have broken the featherdom in the 80s
💿 wanderlust67 Follow
This is Green Parakeet erasure
🥟 blackcondorfucker Follow
do Parakeet fans don't know how to fucking read???
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👽 rubleng Follow
I dreamed I was in a church. But it was a floating church in space. The Phantom of the Opera was there too (never seen the movie/musical?) and he asked me about my name like a fucking kindergarten teacher. I think my dream self thought this was a Death Note episode??? Because I said smth like "Nah, no cuffs for your homosexual ass" or some shit like that. Idk I wrote this as soon as I woke up cause it seemed like something my audience would like.
👽 rubleng Follow
What the fuck is everyone in the notes talking about? OH MY GOD DID I TALK TO GOD??? GUYS???
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🧅 bloodfromsky Follow
My grandparents are from Inaba. The fact that not even 5 years have passed before some Hollywood exec decided to capitalize on the murders and their trauma? Honestly, fuck everyone.
🎠 cut-chaos Follow
i mean, we ARE talking about the same industry that made movies gloryfying the Zodiac Killer, JOKER and Ted Bundy y'know
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🛕 outreal Follow
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I swear Sumaru isn't even a real place anymore
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🧊 mustardice -deactivated201051
I swear i'm not making any of this up. This isn't a creepypasta or anything like thag. Last night my phone turned off in the middle of the night. Ofc i panicked and tried to turn on the light but it didn't turn on. So i'm thinking that maybe the power is ojt and go check outside but everything was green. As if there was a green light or something. And then i noticed there was a fuckgin coffin in the middle of the street. Just floating tjeew. I know my horror movies so i just go back inside and watch it from my window. I'm fucking terrified. But then everything goes back to normal and i swear the coffin turned into a person walking their dog. My lights worked again and everuhting. I'm fucking scared and i don't know what to do cause i know it was real i lived it. Idk
☯️ shellsunflower Follow
And everyone clapped.
🐨 wandering-traveler Follow
Imao the Kirijo Group got them
🦥 lawfulinsane Follow
Ok, but do vampires walk their dogs at 12 o'clock? Asking the important questions 🤔
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🚝 freemiumango Follow
Risette this, Kanamin Kitchen that. Why are y'all always pitting bad bitches against each other?
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🐂 day-paladin Follow
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Just found this blurry ass picture in my gallery??? Apparently I took it on Christmas Eve. I feel like I'm tripping
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aphidclan-clangen · 3 days
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you don't have to post this, but I thought it would be funny!!!
Nimblekit: I just scream a lot... I just, scream... a lot
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Goldshine: With all due respect, which is none,
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Sparkspeckle: You know how someone can say “I respectfully disagree”? What about “I disrespectfully agree” for when you hate someone but they are unfortunately correct.
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Shadebreak: I am always up for potential rule breaking.
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Goldshine: Don’t be afraid to make a fool of yourself, I do it regularly.
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Nimblekit: 80% of people are actually ugly because of their face, you know.
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Pearlstar: Trans people? In my clan? It’s more likely than you think.
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Blisswhistle: For the last time, you can’t die of adhd.
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Sparkspeckle: You can do whatever you want forever :D
Stormwhisper: I love you, but that is not helpful.
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Stormwhisper, too nervous to ask for emotional support: Man, it smells like wrongdog in here.
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Gravel: Aren’t you like 5’2?
Firebeetle: I self identify as tall.
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Pearlstar: Every day my joints are shocked and disgusted that I would use them for their intended purpose.
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Sparkspeckle: You can never lose an argument if you say “shut up nerd” at the end.
Icesheep: Yes you can.
Sparkspeckle: Shut up nerd.
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Goldshine: In my defense, your honor, I simply do not care enough.
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Nimblekit: Your honor, in my defense, who cares like omfgggggggg who cares????????? Like come onnn.
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Skykit: Are you a girl or a boy?
Shadebreak: Uhh, well some people aren’t girls or boys!
Skykit: Wow, just like snails...
Shadebreak: ???
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Straight Man: Hey
Titania: That’s enough.
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Lilacpaw: I respect perfume commercials being like, we can’t show you a smell, mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds?
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Shadekit: Hey we are all really small, do you wanna sleep in a pile.
Icekit, Stormkit and Sparkkit: Yes.
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Blisswhistle: “Fuck it, we ball” (Malnourished, heavy eye bags, dehydrated, on the verge of insanity.)
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Goldshine: Evil infodumping where you just tell lies.
Sparkspeckle: Tiktok
Icesheep: 5-minute crafts
Shadebreak: Resume
Stormwhisper: Men
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Nimblekit: I fucking hate the hand that feeds me, I think i’ll do something fucked up to it.
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Nimblekit: Sick injury bro, would be a shame if i added insult to it.
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Pearlstar: I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there fr.
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Gravel: I wish they sold offbrand cars, get me a damn honder.
Firebeetle: Pulling up in the revolver.
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Shadebreak: When two buses pass each other and the bus drivers don’t wave at each other, like omg... did you guys break up...
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Blisswhistle: I can still crack a joke mid-breakdown, that’s why everyone is lucky to have me in their lives.
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Gravel: They don’t kill the presidents like they used to.
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Berrykit: The LMAO+ community.
Nimblekit: It’s LMFAO+ this is party rock erasure.
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Sparkspeckle: It’s harder than you think to communicate with someone who isn’t familiar with the world of spongebob.
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Goldshine: Pipe down your honor, you weren’t even there.
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Goldshine: JFK?? Like from umbrella academy?? Haha... you know he’s not... real, right?
Stormwhisper: Wait, I though JFK was from clone high??
Sparkspeckle: JFK, as in Jesus Fucking Khrist, from the bible?
Icesheep: Isn’t JFK that fried chicken fast food chain.
Shadebreak: Guys cmon, it’s Jennedy Fennedy Kennedy, you gotta know this.
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Goldshine: Mfs be named “James” and it only be one dude.
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Nimblekit: Does violence have to be the last resort, can’t it be like third.
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Lilacpaw: Free my man, he did all of it but I don’t care.
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Pearlstar: Let me get this straight. Grabs the nearest heterosexual. Now, where were we. (He is holding nobody)
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Blisswhistle: I’m so done with self care, it’s time for others harm.
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Shadebreak: Fun fact. Shut the fuck-
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Sparkspeckle: Nuh uh
Icesheep: FYM “NUH UH”???
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-⚡ anon
Genuinely made me laugh, I love these
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notsogoodangel · 3 months
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This is what I did during my spare time... I'm fine.
Side Notes: I didn't add any of the actual players for simplicity's sake, but I did add characters played by the CCs that aren't their main characters such as Arin, ElQuackity, and Sapo Peta.
It will be too complicated to add ex-alliances and spy-related stuff... but if I did! Jaiden will be between the "knows the federation" and "sides with the players" and Etoiles will be between "understands the codes" and "sides with the players" just because there are no real secrets about it if you watch their POVs.
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Me @ Netflix if they cut Foxglove and Hazel or A Game of You or yassify any of the girls
#sandman season 2#a game of you#fucking bullshit man this comic say what you want in not saying there's nothing to criticize but christ#where else even today do you get queer women characters this un-polished and prettied up#to still be appealing looking to cishet men who are allowed to be messy and Problematic without#being punished by the narrative. And Wanda god she's a nerd she's a scene gal fashion wise she's everything#Barbie is desperately recovering any sense of identity at all and it's so compelling. I don't even trust netflix to do them justice#at this point but if the lesbians the fandom was least likely to find Palatable background extras aka the most human ones#are cut? If Wanda is yassified if Barbie is cut? Because we have to streamline everything and cut off everything that made#sandman unique to pull as many bucks as possible? Yes I AM going to take that#personally actually. It kinda does feel like a slap in the face. Queer women and women in general were the core fanbase of the comic for ye#but if they say fuck us when it's time to make $$?? Then fuck them right back. Bye#We don't need yet another time that if queer women aren't looking like models#they're not fit to be seen according to executives and audiences alike#also it goes without saying that if h0b g*dli*g gets one second more screen time than is necessary#I'm gonna chew my way thru Netflix hqs walls#Has he not taken over enough. The fandom is already insufferable about him#and I'm so fucken tired of it we DON'T need more#yes I know this is all fears and speculation. I WANT to be wrong. You don't know how happy I'll be if i have to eat my own words#But until then I'm so nervous
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I still very loathe the Media Trope of ‘’cold genius man doesn’t feel emotions and never has relationships... UNTIL.. one random relatively bland Preddy Woman comes along and warps his entire personality and ability to think, his heart has grown and his seeming asexuality has evaporated, he is now Normal :)” or whatever like... AS a walking generic hermit archetype myself.. we would NOT act like that .... just let people be detached weirdos in peace, you cowards .. OR, don’t bother to write one in the first place if you find us too boring to exist realistically in our natural state lol.. pathetic 
#the only exception to this is its okay if he develops some pesudo-romantic psychologial fixation on one of his long suffering male sidekicks#or assistants or whatever (since this character acrhetype ALWAYS has some sort of like Straight Man Every Man helper to follow#him around and be an audience stand in. sometimes multiple like a whole team of assistants. sometimes just one etc.)#like a strange not-entirely-romance-but-mutualy-unhealthy-comedic-codependence w someone you worked w 25+ yrs COULD be in character. sure.#ASIDE from that one exception though..... just keep them aromantic and asexual.. why would someone who has been that way for their#entire fucking life suddenly be like ''well I've known this woman three weeks but she's really hot! whoops!''#''guess I'm going to act completely out of character! sometimes booba so booby it fundametally alters the dna of me personality. you know ho#w it is'' .. like shut up.. explode#It's not that I project personally onto these characters (writers are bad at writing them and they're generally annoying as shit) BUT just#like... coming FROM the perspective OF a cold detached ''robot'' seeming hermit freak.. like textbook scholar wizard man locked#away in a tower somewhere type personality... You just watch shows sometimes and you can SEE that the writers are trying to write#the Character Archetype that is your actual realworld personality and you're just like 'we do NOT fucking act like that!!!' lol#you know ? like .. i don't actually care about the characters themselves but more just.. the principle of the thing. staying true to what#has been set up. You can't be like ''oh yeah this is your typical cold detached hermit weirdo with zero interest in human relationships for#the most part blah blah blah'' and then 5 minutes later be like ''WAIT GUYS!! LOOK! they're still NORMAL! look they love booba#too!!! haha hashtag Relatable!!'' .. what have you done to him.. you've massacred the archtype.. cowardly fool#Also I'm referencing them as male because this character archtetype is usually male but the same thing can apply for other gendered versions#of the archetype. it's ALWAYS annoying. no matter what it is lol. GOD AND IT'S even worse when they're supposed to be like hundreds or thous#ands of years old like.. some sort of supernatural being who's ''above it all'' because they've seen the world's cycles for so long#and blah blah and then it's like ''omg.. suddenly into romance.. for some reason all 900 years of my life nobody has ever been good#enough but YOU.. random ass person who I met 30 minutes ago and are completely average in every way or maybe you have like one#special power or are smart or something but apparently somehow I've lived 900 years without ever meeting a single other smart person#or whatever but WOW.. you... instant soulamtes.. I am no longer aromantic and asexual. I am also no longer smart.''#at least if it's a human with a normal lifespan you can be like 'well they were only 30. maybe they genuinely did just have their first#sexul awakening' or something but.. you're telling me like.. 900 years??? 1000 years?? and NOW they're like 'whooa!!' lol#Which obviously all aroace people are different.. all people with autism or schizoid pd or any other mental illnesses that can sometimes#lend people towards that type of 'weird hermit' archetype are all different. plenty of these people WILL have relationships and sex and desi#re those things. but it's like.. if you are OBVIOUSLY  setting out to write that one VERY specific archetype within the broader archetype#then GO ALL THE WAY!! you cant have someone be like HALF-detached partial-hemrit sometimes-maybe-genuis or whatever#or I guess you can but like. it should be that way from the beginning. it's the random sudden shift in personality thats jarring
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mauvecardigans · 2 years
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Me, wishing I had editing skills: damn I should go through and edit Daniel's flashbacks into CK
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Women loving romance, something we have been taking an interest to since forever, is apparently problematic and degrading thing according to these freaks.
#text#'IT's AlWAys the FOcaL pOInt oF A WoMAN's sTOrY' so???#women have always loved romance. writerd know that's how you get a female audience#which is precisely why romance and attractive leads have always been included in media#this is not that hard to figure it out#like this is a complaint thrown at disney princesses like damn bitch can women do anything without you feminist cunts always trying to#criticize them for their natural biological inclinations???? y'all want women to be like men so bad. y'all are the true misogynists#y'all have been more misogynistic than any male chauvinist throughout history. yeah i fucking said it and i stand by my opinion#'thEy nEEd mEn tO COMpleTe thEm' well at least they werw able to get a good man so i don't see the problem with that#we all need somebody to complete us or complement us in some way but it's not evil and misogynistic when women do it i guess#like y'all hate men that much???? y'all are too fixated in the damn past like life in general wasn't harder anyways#and our priorities were different because LIFE WAS DIFFERENT!!!!! oh my fucking god#yes i want a man to live with for the rest of my life and yes i will prioritize my family over everything else so what????#those types of women are far stronger than you victmhood bitches. y'all are always fucking victims with no agency#it's a shame that y'all hate life men women and god this much#because y'all have never been genuinely happy once in your lives so in turn you will blame everything on a non-existing patriarchy and miso#y'all made it out to be something that it never actually was at least on a widespread level#y'all are goofy. i wanna have sympathy for y'all because i know the lot of you have suffered in the past but man… is it difficult to#sympathize with y'all in most cases. i'm really trying my best tho#but yeah it's amazing to me how y'all will demonize femininity womanhood motherhood and nearly everything that women have ever liked#and will turn around and blame it on the patriarchy. like omfg can women have some agency for once??? damn#i'm tired of these heffas and their perverted male followers fr
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medicinemane · 2 months
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I still argue that bleeping someone like Gorden Ramsey is bullshit so that people who love and find swearing fun can pretend that they didn't just hear him call someone a fucking donkey, because there was a bleep... like they don't know the exact word he used, like they didn't think it, and like they didn't have fun with it
Cause I bet you... any amount of money you want honestly, that if you asked Gorden Ramsey not to swear he just wouldn't... I don't think they ever bleep anything in shows where he's helping kids cook
No, people find swearing fun, it's entertaining... they just don't want to admit they like it because it's naughty
And to be clear I'm directly pointing to this and pointing to 'unalive' and drawing a line between them for how we got here
#you either don't swear or you do; bleeping is only for when no one's supposed to swear but it came out by accident#but 99% of the time; you can tell the producers wanted people to swear because their audience loves it#and at best they didn't bother telling them to keep it polite; and at worst they encouraged it#you know; I once when I was like 12 went with my mom to see Chuck D give a talk about stuff#and at the end when he went up he was like 'oh I'm so sorry; I didn't know there was a kid in the audience or I wouldn't have cussed'#and we assured him it wasn't a problem (didn't explain I'd know all of it since I was little)#(and I think to an extent even then I had a mentality of that I'd rather hear it how he was gonna say it normally)#but... he very clearly could have and would have simply kept a check on himself like everyone is capable of#and he clearly would have been more than happy to#it wasn't an 18+ event; it just was on a college and he expected adults only and talks how he talks#you can have zero naughty words most of the time... all you have to do is ask#and you can avoid serious conversations... it's polite to let people not be forced to engage with topics they don't want most of the time#hell; that's the whole point of trigger warnings#...I don't know; I'm forever fuming about this whole fucking topic#it's like a huge portion of humanity is willingly and gladly throwing shackles on#it's on thing not to say fuck; I respect the hell out of that#it's one thing to mind your words and subject; go for it#and it's also one thing not to want to listen to people swear#you know... I often do tone down how I feel like talking cause... I get some people following me might not like it... and I actually care#...it's just also... in the end this is my spot I dump bullshit out of my skull in a verbal vomit#so you get it how you get it... but like I get not wanting to hear it#but don't you fucking tell me you hate swearing and them sit their laughing at a bleeped bit from a show where someone's cursing up a storm#no you like swearing but you're just being a shifty self righteous prick that's pretending you don't to feel smug#and don't talk about death if you don't want to#but don't say 'unalive'; not unless you're meaning the opposite of undead and coming up with something interesting#if you're saying 'unalive' you're just a spineless fucker who can't even manage saying you'll kill a zombie in minecraft#(or a fool who doesn't get what you're going along with)
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inkskinned · 1 year
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i think one of the reasons glass onion is so fun is that it just... loves the audience back.
so many popular movies and shows these days thrive on a sort of bitter engagement with their fans - where the fans are dismissed as being stupid, annoying, and needlessly angry. we are constantly positioned as being less intelligent as the writers.
so much of "spoiler-free" movie-making relies on writers getting away with one twist in their work, regardless of if that twist was earned. the work doesn't actually have any rewatch value or interesting writing - because they think "good writing" is about "pulling one over" on the audience. they don't focus on making interesting characters or storylines or good endings - they focus on fooling you. glass onion, meanwhile, has faith that the audience has figured the ending out, and that we'll watch anyway, because we love the characters.
so many adaptions of older works... kind of seem to hate the original work. they're done without passion. they're done almost as if checking off a box. so many of them openly mock the audience for enjoying the original, almost directly telling us that we are fools for ever having loved something.
but glass onion. loves the audience. it knows that many of the people watching are mystery-lovers. it is an homage that feels love towards the original works it references. it knows we also love those works; and instead of trying to disparage those works, it allows us to celebrate them.
one of my favorite things about it - and maybe why i found it so satisfying - is that this movie isn't trying to tell you it's the smartest, bestest, most-clever detective story. instead, it asks itself what is satisfying and exciting for the audience? and actually gives us that payoff. it's bright, colorful, and fucking fun.
just... more of this please. i'm very bored of nihilism and grittiness and "shock value" writing. put the love back in. let us love unironically. have your work say i love you too. thank you for sharing this story.
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taylor-titmouse · 2 months
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hey i want to talk about how you should be promoting your work as an erotic author/illustrator
i'm writing this up because the marketing aspect of my work as an erotic author/illustrator is a science to me, and also because i'm the guy who gets unreasonably annoyed when i see other creators not properly advertising their work. you presumably want to make money off your work. this post will be written under the assumption you want to make money off your work but are doing a bad job at it. it will be very confrontational. if you read this and feel attacked you're right and i am attacking you.
this is geared toward selling erotic comics/writing/books/art as products. i will probably write more than one post about this subject so if i didn't touch on something you want to know more about, comment/send me an ask and i'll keep it in mind for the next one.
i will start with my first and least specific but most important point:
DON'T GET FUCKING CUTE
hi are you paying attention. i'm gripping you by the sides of your face. do not get fucking cute with what you are trying to sell. you are not a big enough property to get cute, nobody LIKES it when big properties get cute, and you are selling porn. you have to own this. you have to be up front about this. don't be tongue in cheek, don't be all teehee i wonder what this could be~, don't be secretive. you are selling a product. you have to fucking act like it. you are an adult selling pornography to other adults. i am GRIPPING your HEAD you NEED to understand this.
and to be clear when i say 'cute' i mean coy. i don't mean cutesy, as in the aesthetic. you can be as hello kitty pastel ten emojis a post uwu as you like when you're building your audience and generating hype. but when you start trying to sell, don't be vague, don't be sarcastic, don't mislabel your work as a joke and assume everyone is on it. because they're not.
you must always assume 75% of the people seeing the thing you are advertising have no fucking idea who you are. and that includes a huge chunk of the people who already follow you. they do not know who you are or what you've been working on for two months or why they should care about it. they just got here. somebody just reposted it. they are seeing it for the first time. most people are only looking at social media for a tiny chunk of their day. they are not keeping up with you. you cannot get cute about what you are trying to sell because nobody knows what it is until you tell them.
okay are you still with me. we are going to talk about clarity now.
YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT IT IS
good lord the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's comic or book and had no idea what's actually in it or what it's about. who are the characters? why should i care about them? what do they do in it? what is the premise of this thing you want me to spend $5 on? why would you not tell me? i'm shaking you again. please i have to know what i'm buying i only have so much money to spend on porn.
porn, arguably more than any other genre, relies on knowing exactly what is in it. you do not want to surprise your readers with a kink they were unaware of! and on the flip side, you do not want to miss out on your target audience! if your book contains a hot spider babe laying eggs in an elf, you have to say so. not just so people who don't want to read about eggs know it isn't for them, but so the people who are egg crazy can see that and go "oh fuck YES i love EGGS here is my $5 and an extra $2 tip for catering to me specifically". a contents/features list is as much an advertisement as it is a warning!
as for re: who the characters are and why should i care, i'm sorry but you need to learn how to write sales copy. you have to write blurbs. you have to get good at the shit that goes on the back of a book. we all hate it but we have to do it. i want to know who the characters are and what the context is. i, personally, am not interested in contemporary stories as much as fantasy and historical. please tell me what genre this porn exists in so i know if it aesthetically appeals to me. pull some books off your shelves and see how they do it. hell man go look at mine.
while you're there, note that every single book of mine has a sample of what's in it. this feels like such a no-brainer to me but again! the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's work and they don't show me what their work looks like! you gotta give me the first page or two! just enough that i know if i like the way your writing sounds, or the way you draw your comics! i don't know you! i am not going to trust that you're good at what you do just based on a cover. the cover is to get me to this step, it is not the only step. you have to show me that you're worth spending my money on!
to put it less cynically, you want to catch my interest. you want me to go 'oh i want to see more of this', you want me to go 'ahh i want to know where this goes!' you need to get me invested and craving more. earn my $5!!!
YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT EASY TO GIVE YOU MONEY
hey go look at your bio right now. go look at your pinned post. do you have a link to your patreon there? do you have a link to your itchio/gumroad/whatever? do i have to click more than once to get to the places you want me to go to give you money? why? why are you making me click twice? have we learned nothing from every website making you click an extra time when they make some stupid UI update and how much it pisses us off? i have already given up, i have forgotten you, i am not giving you my $5 today. put your links in the easiest places to get to them.
god literally as i was writing this post i went to go find somebody's itchio to see how they described their work and it was not anywhere on their profile. grabbing you and shaking you PUT THE LINK WHERE I CAN FIND IT. don't make it hard! make it easy! i am a dickhead sitting on the toilet scrolling, saw your post, and was interested enough to read further. but you made me go to your bio to find your linktree and oops i have already gone back to my timeline to look at the boobies in the next post. stop wasting precious bio space on DNIs and put your fuckin links there!!!
this is more for the twitter people, but: just put the link in the damn post. just say the word commission. just say it's for patreon. "wuh wuh the algorithm" it is not the damn algorithm it's that everybody hates advertising and nobody wants to retweet ads. putting slashes in the words doesn't do anything and you look like a fool. i have posted so much art that says it's 'a commission for ___" and it did exactly as good as any other art despite having the word commission in it. and by doing the slashes you just made it impossible for anybody to search your account for your commission information (which should be at the VERY LEAST in a post under your pinned tweet if you're not actively posting about them being open).
okay that went on a tangent i'm going to back to the point of putting the link in the tweet. put it in the first post. not in the first reply. don't tell them to go to your bio. put it in the post people are actually going to share. it's fine to put more information in the thread but people are only ever going to share the first post. so put the link there. you have to make it easy. putting links in tweets can hurt you algorithmically, even in the replies. so you're better off having it in the post that actually gets seen and shared. i don't want to open the tweet and scroll to get to your sales page where i ASSUME you will have put all the information anyway. put it in the tweet that just got retweeted by itself onto my dash!
also you have to share it a ton of times. i repost my shit every few hours when i'm trying to push a new product. as i said before people are not 24/7 looking at their timelines. they missed it the first time. they missed it the second time. they didn't get paid yet that week but they were after the eighth time and you reminded them again so they finally bought it. that i will still get sales every time i repost a book ad weeks after release says there are always people who missed it, or who only just showed up.
abandon your pride and shill. shills pay their bills. anyone who gets annoyed about it isn't giving you money in the first place. don't worry about looking like a sell out. don't apologize for plugging your own work. post about it often, post about it in different ways. post about it. post about it. you are not going to make money if people don't know you have something to sell them. if you want to make a career out of it, you need to act like it.
I DON'T HAVE A FOURTH POINT
kisses your forehead. i'm sorry for yelling at you. i've been making and publishing and selling adult art for the past two-three years and have got myself to the point where it pays my rent, and i got there by paying attention to what does and does not work.
please do your best to make money. i want you to make money.
as i said above i plan to write more posts on this subject, such as cover design, how to actually write sales copy, and best practices with running a patreon, but if there's things you would want to hear more about leave a comment or send an ask! i will probably be less aggressive on future topics. these are just things that have grinded my gears for a grip.
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salemoleander · 6 months
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I am BARELY resisting going full red-strings-corkboard on this season. And by barely resisting I mean not resisting at all here is an extremely long list of the events those pins would be marking out.
BigB getting a Task that was a different color than everyone else's. It's not just a randomly assigned Hard Task, bc Scar rerolled for a Hard Task and his was also just a white envelope. It's fundamentally different.
That task taking BigB away from socialization, and seemingly being an incredibly time-consuming and dull request. Of profound disinterest to any watchers.
The phrasing of his Task!!
Dig a big hole. All the way down. At least 3x3. Make it your base if you want.
Everyone else's are direct and formal - the only one with more than one sentence was Skizz's, with the rule clarification of "One attempt only." Bigb's Task is four short abrupt sentences. It is also the only Task to contain extraneous information, 'Make it your base if you want.' The requirements (at least 3x3) feel like an afterthought to mimic the numerical/specific demands of the other tasks.
Evo symbol on the face of the Secret Keeper statue.
The fact that there's a statue at all; the fact that there is a physical representation of what is assigning tasks that everyone must complete, when previously everything was always handled via commands and unseen RNG.
Grian talking to the statue, and (bc of his Actual Role as game organizer) acting as a mediator for the impartial decisions handed down, speaking for it.
Grian making one last bad joke and saying he doesn't know if it counted or not- depends on whether we the audience laughed.
Grian asking for task recommendations from the audience. The watchers are making the tasks. The Watchers are making the tasks.
Again I could be off-base, and I'm not usually even that smitten with bringing in Evo lore. I don't want a Big Bad really...but. It feels like something very unusual and intentional and cool is happening in this series. And I'd guess we'll know if theres something going on once we have more than one data point.
My largely unfounded suspicion is that there is another being (maybe Listeners, maybe something else) trying to reach out to the Players via decoy Tasks, and BigB was the first recipient. Get them alone, make them of disinterest to the watchers, and tell them something we don't get to know.
Because that's the really, really fucking cool part (if my wacky theory is remotely right): We're the bad guys. We're the ones giving out tasks - hell, we're the ones actively brainstorming harder and crueller tasks in Grian's comments!
If they actually made a story where the Players have to keep secrets from us I will be delighted. Bc that is the same genius bullshit that made Evo Watcher lore so fun
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vidavalor · 7 months
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Crowley actually says a barely-coded "I love you" to Aziraphale back in 2.03
In his proposal in the S2 finale, Crowley told us that he and Aziraphale know they're in love and have known it for damn ever but they pretend they're not a couple. This, by default, means that they've not specifically said the words "I love you" before, by Crowley's own admission. They've said I love you in their own little language and we've watched it before. It's little demonic miracle of my own. It's don't go unscrewing the cap. It's just a little bit of a good person and just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing... But what Crowley says in the S2 finale is that they've never-- ever-- said in 6,000 years is just I love you in those normal people, human words. It has always been too dangerous for too many reasons to count so they have euphemisms for it and whole conversations around it and have made that be enough. Why do I bring this up? Because Crowley found a middle ground between the words and their coded language with one another in S2 and it's flying under the radar.
So you know that scene when Muriel has shown up and interrupts Crowley and Aziraphale talking in the back room? The one where while Crowley is speaking, Aziraphale suddenly looks like he's about to pass out with sheer want? Yes, our angel always looks at Crowley like he hung the damn moon (which he did but lol...) but this scene is different. This scene is like... someone get Aziraphale a chair and a glass a water because he is pupils-dilated, audibly breathing, and eyeing up Crowley with naked want. More than the lust? He looks happy. He looks delighted. You can basically hear his heart race from that look on his face. Why here? Yes, Crowley looks hot. Yes, he's in profile in a way that is a visual parallel to Before the Beginning (which was an inspired choice for this scene.) Yes, he's here with a Plan and taking charge of the Muriel situation and swaying his hips a bit while he speaks. It's not any of that. Those are nice bonuses. Aziraphale likes them. He gets them all the time. It's what Crowley said in this moment. To Aziraphale. Through what he said to Muriel.
Crowley cracks a dry, kinda dark joke that is meant for an audience of one: just Aziraphale. He knows Muriel won't get it. Since Muriel is cosplaying as what they think is a human Inspector Constable and they are here to verify the miracle Aziraphale has told Heaven and so are monitoring them, Crowley quips that Muriel is here to spy on them (since they, well, are, actually) and that he knows that many human police officers like to make a bit of a hobby out of spying on "people in love."
People. In. Love.
In a one-two punch in the same sentence, Crowley called him and Aziraphale queer humans and he called what they have love, using the actual word *aloud* for the first time in 6,000 years. He said he loved Aziraphale in front of an angel of Heaven in a little coded joke but this time, using the coded bit to say the real thing for the first time.
Then, just to hammer it all home and make sure that Aziraphale really knows it was very much intentional, Crowley says 'love' again in the next sentence. He starts going on about how Muriel can come to him anytime with any questions about love and he's happy to assist with their understanding of human love with all of his implied vast, vast years of experience with the subject and how he'll be here to answer their questions, in the bookshop, while Aziraphale drives his car to Edinburgh.
Go back and tell Heaven I'm here, Inspector Constable, I don't give a fuck anymore. *We* don't give a fuck anymore. You go tell The Archangel Michael that I'm who they're going to get managing Angelic Embassy X aka The Bookshop until Aziraphale gets back-- yep, me, former Demon of Hell. The Boyfriend in the Dark Sunglasses. He's asked me to, which is his way of saying he wants to stop hiding and asking me not to sneak out to my car in the middle of the night which hallefuckinglujah, Inspector Constable... Go tell Their Beatitudes that we ravish each other all over the bookshop. You won't even be lying. As Maggie'll put it later in the season: I'm done being afraid all the time. I love him. We're in love. There's your hot intel.
Aziraphale:
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Aziraphale: Inspector Constable, be a dear and spray me down with all 700 of our fire extinguishers, will you?
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bridoesotherjunk · 9 months
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so I saw this article today
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That says "5 years later, Sony still doesn't understand why it's biggest spider-verse hit worked"
And the article mainly talks about how the Venom films are self contained and don't try to be films in a cinematic universe. They have a clear identity. Yes, there is no Spider-Man in them, and that's okay because they knew what they wanted to do without him when they made the films. They even say at one point "the Venom films are not for everyone, but at least they know what they are"
This is something I personally have talked about many times. And I've seen other Venom fans talk about. And what I'm seeing MCU fans starting to say more and more now. The movies work when they have a clear story and identity and don't feel interchangeable or formulaic.
You could take any Disney plus marvel show or 'phase 4' movie and switch the characters around and the story would probably stay largely the same, or at least feel the same. We all know what I mean right? The characters all make quips like Tony Stark no matter if it is in character or not. They talk and act the same.
But the Venom films? You couldn't take Tom Hardy's Eddie and swap him with the mcu cast. He acts so differently than 90% of them, he wouldn't fit in. He's fucking weird and unhinged and is very much Tom Hardy's brain child.
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Also the Venom movies worked because queer people liked them. The films were hugely popular with LGBT audiences but you didn't hear that from me 👀👀👀👀
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drunktuesdays · 1 year
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everyone is fucking but no one is horny
one of my twitter friends recently said that if she could order up a fic it would be a story written by someone who has only ever read the classics, 1.5 star trek novelizations, and their mother's romance novels from 1970, written about two people are so out of their minds horny for each other it causes them to make the absolute worst choices anyone's ever made.
and i almost lost my mind laughing because i do know exactly what she means. there is a weird vibe i can sometimes sense within the first few paragraphs a fic that really bums me out. it's almost like i can tell the author is thinking way too much about what i'm thinking about their id and it's suddenly like we're all suddenly wondering how riding a bicycle works when we're mid-ride. when you start worrying too much audience interpretation or how a fic is going to do or play or ugh marketability, it genuinely adds some weird self-conscious distance to whatever you're doing. and it's the pits from the reader side because it removes so much horniness from your story even if the idea you have is genuinely good! i know this is not a niche complaint--you find it literally everywhere as every sector of the creative internet gets #content-ed and people can't escape the stats of how any given creative outlet does.
but god there's literally nothing better than sitting down and reading some freaknasty person's art where they do not give a single shit if you like it. they had something to say and my god they were gonna say it. i've accidentally acquired so many kinks by clicking on a story where someone took me on the most insane ride of my life and i thrilled about it. i don't wanna read about polite normal regular love. i don't wanna read about people using therapy-speak on each other. i wanna read about two people feeling the biggest craziest feelings of their entire life and they cannot do anything about it except bang it out. what else are we doing here? if they're not fucking down an entire house, well jed i don't even wanna read it.
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