#being palatable

[rubarb69]

Theres something so special about cutting your own hair; maybe it is uneven and choppy, and maybe it does frame your face poorly. But its still uniquely yours. Self actualization or something

#poetry #something about trans joy #maybe #idk #only you have to wake up with yourself every day #be happy with who that person is #plus. the choppy at-home look is in.... right? #and like if you say you slay and serve then you will. even if your hair is a botched mess #infact it might add to it #its a silly goofy element #ive spent my whole life being considerate #being palatable #and even still #people are disgusted by me #so why try #why not be myself 100% of the time #if people are gonna call me a freak i might as well put on a show

[blighted-elf]

Baldur's Gate 3 - Karlach 6/?

#Baldur's Gate #Baldur's Gate 3 #BG3 #Karlach #Tiefling #Barbarian #Larian Studios #bg3edit #dailyvideogames #dailygaming #videogamewomen #gamingedit #gamingladiesedit #vgedit #Blighted gifs #BG3 spoilers #Karlach being ADHD as hell as a palate cleanser

[marisatomay]

so cool that fanfiction won anne rice’s war on fanfiction

#the new show is sooooooo good #everyone go watch it!!! #and as my buddy pointed out #so cool that tom cruise won anne rice’s war on tom cruise #she’s 0-2 #for those not in the know: #she intentionally spread lies that cruise was trying to make the movie less gay in attempts to tank the film bc she was angry he was cast #and then fully admitted (!!) that SHE was the one who kept making edits to the script to try and make it more palatable to studios/audiences #(ie less gay and explicit) and that the director neil jordan actually put a lot of it back in there once he was in charge #and that tom had no say over the script at all #but by the time she apologized to him (like actually called him and apologized) the damage was done and people STILL think he did all that #and say what you will about him but thomas cruise put his whole pussy into lestat and stands by IWTV to this day #even after OPRAH called him to say she walked out of a screening of the movie because she thought it was putting the devil into the world #anyway. #sorry for being insane! it will happen again

[lazycranberrydoodles]

hua cheng: oh god im gonna be meeting dianxia again soon i gotta act cool

hua cheng: [immediately infodumps]

#i love their ND4ND couple swag #this is what it looks like in taicang/puqi/qiandeng every night btw #hua cheng is like ‘god i gotta disguise myself so im more palatable’ but cannot resist immediately being a bitchy know-it-all #and i love him for it #aniother one drawn on my phone…. this one was on the bus! #lower quality than usual but i need this comic to be let out into the world #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #hob #heaven official’s blessing #hualian #xie lian #hua cheng #mxtx #my art #art #tgcf meme

[inkskinned]

you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.

you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.

instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.

you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.

your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.

because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.

so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.

all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.

#spilled ink #woke up at 530 to write this lmafo #me in a cold sweat: #how do i be normal #edit in the tags: #hey so i've seen y'all talk about like ... wondering if ur ''allowed'' to relate #like if this is about X specific diagnosis #and when i first posted it i really almost labelled it ''please don't assume this is about a specific condition'' #because as an artist i am often walking this line of discussing a symptom or discussing my conditions etc #and sometimes yes ! i do want to talk about an experience that is specific to who i am and my condition #but sometimes the effort of the post is about the EXPERIENCE rather than the diagnosis #because yes i am not neurotypical and as a result that influences my work but it is ALSO true that there are many reasons #why someone might experience this particular vague horrible feeling that you are... almost being CHASED by what you ''really'' are. #that you're outrunning your symptoms... that you're not really normal you're just sort of a mockery of a person #.... that's a really isolating and horrible way to feel no matter why you are feeling it. and the nature of this PARTICULAR post is that #it is inherently talking ABOUT that sense of isolation & of feeling not-deserving & of minimizing your own experiences to make urself #palatable for society in a way that others find easy-to-deal-with.... #this post is about a certain experience such that my impression is there's a higher likelihood that those who relate #would have more difficulty thinking they ''deserve'' to relate - that it doesn't REALLY belong to them #bc often we are the kind of people who are SO used to being alienated and set aside and ''different'' that we AUTOMATICALLY assume #that things are not ''for'' us... they never have been why would it start now #we are the kinds of people to be ... ''too normal for X diagnosis but too symptomatic to be normal'' #[or as this post points out... so good at ''coping''/masking/hiding it that we essentially conform to whatever shape we're poured into] #but i have witnessed others already say in the tags ''thought this was about me but it's about X so it can't be'' #and im like ... of course it was about you. #art is not a resource that is diminished by greater appreciation . #you reflect in whatever mirror fits your frame. not just the ones in your bedroom. not just the ones i specifically give you. #there will be - and often are - times that i will talk about my specific conditions... but if you're reading this #regardless of why you're here... we are here together. holding hands through space and time. and i love you for carrying it #and i know you're exhausted. i am too. but i understand. and i see you.

[hoofpeet]

It feels like a lot of the ppl who are asking you to trigger tag the derealization stuff r probably the same people to ask for trigger tags on self harm scars. Like yeah mayb some ppl might be triggered by them but it's also a very real part of someone's body (+life) that they r always living with. And it's weird to ask someone to trigger tag that??? Like what a fucked up thing to say to someone? No you can't have your arms uncovered in your own space because it makes me upset to see that part of you/no you can't make a mild vent post on your own blog because it makes me upset to see that part of your life?? The unfollow/block button is right there goddam. Just walk out you can leave and all that. Anyway ur post really resonated with me and I'm so sorry for all the hate you got over it

YEAH people treating any kind of scarring as some sort of taboo subject is also really annoying to me.. Putting effort into any art starts to not feel worth it when people expect to like. Take everything they want from you while ignoring whatever they don't want to 'deal with'.... very very disheartening to be expected to be quiet about normal parts of my life while. also pouring all my time into making art for other's enjoyment . Like an internet jester

-neway ! Glad my post helped a little at least- it was nice to see others relate to it, so whatever weird discourse it sparked is worth dealing with if it comforted anyone 👍

#mailbox #it's a weird side effect of the expectation that everyone neatly partition‚ label‚ and micro-manage every part of their personality - #to present the most palatable 'persona' possible #to the extent that someone being honest about their lives- including the 'negative' parts #is seen as breaking some sort of unspoken agreement to be quiet about [x problem] so that nobody has to ''deal with it'' #and it gets justified as like. it somehow being 'toxic' to acknowledge parts of your life‚ lest it make someone uncomfortable #some of these things. really make me question what exactly people are getting out of tumblr at all

[tea-time-terrier]

#throwback to that time I was a freshly out queer kid and was congratulated multple times for not being too queer #the therapist I had to see to get my letter for hrt was happy that I was binary-trans(?) and proceeded to go on a rant about NB identities #*during a therapy session* #there are many spaces that had meaningful impacts on me and I still don't know if I was accepted there #or if I was just palatable #people will ignore your identity and call it support #there was no point to this btw #sometimes you just need to make bad art for that collection of feelings you don't have the words to fully encompass #I love seeing such visibly queer people #and hope that is one day me #my art

[pillowprincessvarric]

Adorable little tuxedo cat usually dancing either alone or paired with another male cat during sensual group dance number that is arguably meant to represent an orgy. Which could mean nothing.

#i rewatched the 98 version as a palate cleanser and now i am no longer joking about cats 2019 being homophobic #i mean im joking a little. but come on.

[murcielagatito]

at all the ppl watching abbott for the first time and being like "ugh i cant stand these characters" youre not supposed to. its called character growth and abbott elementary does it SO well

#folks have gotten so used to being served palatable characters on a platter theyve forgotten what experiencing a good character development #is like #I LOVED AVA FROM THE JUMP THO janine??? lmao not so much #abbott elementary

[pharawee]

"You're my friend. You're a great friend. I won't let anyone hurt you. Especially you hurting youself."

#playboyy #playboyy the series #dech narongdet #korn palat #chat wasutha #playboyyedit #thai bl #thai drama #bl series #bl drama #my edits. #gif request #negl i don't entirely understand why nont is here #(being rather reserved and distanced from nant's friends) #but he's in dire need of emergency group hugs as well #and to think that a few eps ago they were all coming to blows over teena

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

I randomly get inspired to write weird stuff with Gabriel that I'm usually not even into and a lot of the time I get comments that amount to I'm not into this. Am I? or being surprised they were into it. Gabriel is just randomly inflicting this sort of thing on everyone I suppose

Gabriel Ultrakill has been reclassified as a gateway drug. Please keep an eye out for any suspicious activity.

#i can be your angle or yuor devil #metaphorical piece of ham/cheese that you wrap around a pill before feeding it to a dog #many things can be made palatable if you’re down bad enough #speaking from the heart #I would Not do that. oh but if he wants to it’s okay 🥰 #I’m being so tame and normal please. you can’t do this. you can’t enable me #I have work tomorrow I need to. relax #trying and failing pathetically to keep this account somewhat tame #non voice post #ask #asks #ask spam continues.. the dashboard cries #looks around nervously #i am so very scared and terrible at speaking #but if you really want to send me insane things I do have a Different Account For That #you gotta message me for it #but. I mean if you do that just know. I can’t even form coherent sentences #what im trying to say is that I can’t hold a conversation for shit #but. you can always send.. gabe things.. #ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ENOUGH. pack it up boys. im going to get shot if i continue

[joseigamer]

Patalliro! is fascinating to me because of stuff like this. It's unapologetically gay - even within its anime which aired during primetime hours in 1982 - in a way that many later BL manga would never be, like the ones from the early 2000s which would never dare to call their characters actual homosexuals. Patalliro has actually aged quite well in this regard, there's something comforting about how campy it is.

#i still dont really understand how they got away with this kind of thing honestly #female VAs i get that - but first m/m kiss in an anime in episode THREE????? #theres also the maraich/thomas episode where they are *Both* voiced by women....advanced yuri #patalliro #i love how bancorans gender expression is pretty much explicitly to attract only bishounen #you blushed - so you must not be a girl #etc #i also love how joyful it all is #theres never anything sad or tragic about being gay - only that bancoran is forced to kill the bishounen spies/assassins/etc #when bancoran finds out that gay sex feels good after demian; in the manga he is elated. its basically a positive thing #he awakens to his true power...lol #also notable is that while bishounen youth is glorified maraich is still 18. #besides making the show more palatable; this means it portrays being gay as an adult as normal #according to the NYT japan's psychiatric body called homosexuality a mental illness until 1995 #im not going to say patalliro changed that or anything lmao but its just significant to me that banmara get to live their lives happily #especially contrasting that with kaze to ki no uta and other manga of the time (no shade intended) #yaoi #<- for tagging purposes #obviously it also got away with a lot by being a gag manga. but still! #months later edit: want to say im not intending to moralize BL manga from the 2000s either. like gen. no hate on them. #as a gay person i just appreciate when characters who act gay are considered gay textually #and its kind of disheartening how gay-as-identity was treated as something incredulous in those manga a lot of the time #even the mere suggestion of attraction to men as a whole and not just the other male lead...yknow

[gammelgaedda]

seeing comic artists say they struggle with creating stories/art for an older audience and I feel like I'm the opposite.............. I can't write a story without hamfisting ~adult topics~ into it.

#“write what you know” ok turns out being queer and disabled makes you unmarketable lol #but im content like this i dont wanna censor myself to be more palatable #you get disabled trans lesbians thats what i wanna create

[clowningoose]

Balloon Sword AU

Further thoughts under the cut

So a good while ago I got a balloon sword and thought wouldn't it be funny If the duels were fought with balloon swords then I got serious about it

So besides the swords being balloons, the roses are too

The first idea in regards to this was the duelists using what is essentially a toy in battle, a childish imitation of a sword fight

The second had to do with empty desires, what motivates them to fight. They have swords, but they're filled with nothing but air, merely a shell to hold almost nothing at all

Coming to the roses I thought Anthys blowing up the balloons is in a way the inflation of the duelists desire and them then being molded into motivation to battle, folding the balloon into the form of a rose

It'd also make a very nice sound when the balloon is popped, literally exploding on their chests

I had imagined that around the black rose arc we could possibly switch over to real swords

Visually I Imagine the sword pulls of the arc as a balloon floating out of their chests on a string to then be exploded by the sword inside piercing the balloon

From then on out real swords would be used, the roses remain balloons

Not entirely sure what to do with the Sword of Dios, it could either be replaced by a real one once Utena gets hers pulled out of her chest, it stays a balloon sword forever or it only turns into a real sword in the very last episodes

#Revolutionary Girl Utena #rgu #Balloon au #anthy himemiya #nanami kiryuu #juri arisugawa #saionji kyouichi #ChuChu amongst other things is a stand-in for Anthys true Feelings #The balloon a pretty little toy with a drawn on smile a confrontation of ChuChu and Balloon ChuChu the confrontation of Anthy and the perso #Had it not exploded it would have deflated anyway its not meant to be maintained forever #But even the balloon shell is destroyed by being dressed up like Akio #And hits ChuChu in the face to top it Off #Anthys role is the one people want her to play but despite all that she ist still hated both for doing so and for not doing so #It is part of this very role to be hated and even making oneself palatable is not enough to escape said hatred #In the end no matter what you do people seek your destruction

[slavhew]

so I started a new show that im obviously being so normal about

[transparent of the first one under cut]

honestly i had NO idea what i was doing with the bg soooo. transparent it also is

#trigun #nicholas d wolfwood #nicholas d. wolfwood #vash the stampede #vashwood #admin draws #fanart #throwign up everywhere theyre so theyre SOOO #i have not watched stampede yet but the '98 series dynamic of these two is EVERYTHING #no man's land: an alternate universe where being straight is a minority and gay is the norm. basically #im having a palate cleanser from jojo before i start part 6 so these two + meryl and millie might be on the agenda for. a while #also speaking of jojo i have some doodles i havent posted yet but i want to pile a few more up until the next post lol

[dennistakesamentalhealthday]

dennis is an angry character btw im sorry but he is full of rage but that rage is not exclusive his anger does not negate sadness and fragility and insecurities in fact they work together and dtamhd was one of the first times where his anger was not used as a joke via a surface level rage explosion from him but instead explored the fragility of his anger. the way he keeps reassuring the workers he encounters (and himself) that he's not mad. when he tells daisy he's not mad but he is a little bit upset. dennis is angry and that anger is what makes him so fragile. he was upset and it manifested as rage bc he doesnt know what to do with his own sadness

#disclaimer tags yes i would like to see his emotions explored more but i disagree that we ONLY saw anger in dtamhd #and EVEN IF IT WAS ONLY ANGER... anger is just as VALID and fragile and vulnerable as sadness. they are family #we saw how his anger makes him fragile how it exhausts him #how it works with his stress and fears and insecurities and sadness #he was UPSET!!!! #angry dennis in dtamhd WAS big feelings dennis in tends bar. that was the same #he expressed anger in tends bar bc he was upset he expressed anger in dtamhd bc he was upset etc etc #and i think the sadness people were expecting was present. the sadness and fragility we would have seen if he cried on the beach like most #of us anticipated (btw he did cry at the beach <3 technically <3) was THERE. it was just in his anger #sewerkingcharlie talked about this already and worded it very well but im honestly kinda bothered by how some people have treated #the portrayal of anger and emotions in this ep #you dont have to like the ep or how they portrayed dennis but some posts have really given the vibe of #his anger and his emotional outburst not being as valid because it wasnt portrayed in the way you expected #or that it wasnt palatable enough #and honestly if you dont like it thats okay! but can we please be careful with how we talk about mental illness and anger outbursts! #yes it is frustrating when people ONLY see dennis' anger or see dennis' anger in a very shallow way #which a lot of the audience unfortunately does because its been treated like a joke #but it wasnt a just a joke here #and maybe this will all go past dudebros heads frankly i dont give a shit lol but thats for another post