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seeingivy · 6 months

Text

lovesick

actor!eren x reader

**part of my method acting series

an: come get yall juice

songs mentioned: lovesick by laufey!

previous part linked here

Ten minutes later and you’re all standing outside the house, as the blaring fire truck pulls up to the curb. And you give everyone an awkward sheepish smile, as you all shiver in the cold November night, as the firefighters march into the house.

It seems that in your efforts to be…..symbolic, you accidentally set the fire alarm off.

Which has the group of you outside, freezing in the November cold, as you wait for them to exit the house and safely turn the alarm off.

“Right. So what exactly were you doing, Y/N?” Levi seethes, irritatedly rubbing his biceps in the cold of the night. He’s heroically given up his jacket for Hange, whose currently teasing Sasha and Niccolo about something.

“Why do you think its me?” you respond.

“It came from that room. And I know damn well Colt and Porco aren’t stupid enough to do something like that.” Levi responds.

“Hey. Porco is plenty stupid.”

“I heard that.” Porco grumbles.

You shoot him a smile, as he walks over with Colt and the two of them reach forward to shove you. You shove back, the three of you laughing into the night as Levi grumbles some more about firefighters and the bills and walks away.

“Colt. I’m cold.” you murmur.

“Okay. Why don’t you go ahead and start another fire to generate some warmth?” Colt responds, glaring.

“Or you could just be a good big brother and give me your jacket?” you respond, giving him a big smile.

“Absolutely not, twerp. You literally set my room, that you are not welcome in, on fire.” Colt states.

“Where else am I supposed to sleep? Do you want me to cuddle up with Eren?”

Colt glares, before shoving you and responding.

“Share with Mikasa. Stop being a little baby bitch about the maid of honor thing.”

“I’m not being a baby bitch!” you respond.

“You kind of are, love.” Porco responds.

“You keep your stupid British butt out of this, innit love. I just don’t want to make her uncomfortable. She wants to room with her fiance and I’m going to let her.” you respond, mimicking Porco’s British accent.

“Oh yeah. That’s why the two of you keep giving each other wistful, longing looks whenever you’re around each other. You’d think it was the two of you getting married.” Colt spits back, his breath materializing in the cold air.

Colt aggressively rattles your head one last time before moving to where Gabi and Falco were standing as Porco makes a gesture to take his jacket off. Which has you yanking him by the ear and fervently whispering in his ear.

“Are you fucking stupid?” you whisper.

“Eh?” Porco responds.

“If you are trying to romance Pieck, why are you giving me your jacket?”

“You were just bitching about how you were cold.” Porco deadpans.

“Well, go find out if she’s bitching about being cold. And give her your jacket. Must I do everything for you?” you respond, pinching his ear harder.

Porco, you are quick to find out, has the same romantic capabilities as a valencia orange. Which means that in all the time you’ve spent freeloading in their room, Porco has enlisted your help in romancing Pieck, who has caught his eye.

Porco rolls his eyes as he walks over, and you shoot him a satisfied smile when Pieck wraps his jacket around her cold arms, particularly pink in the cheeks as the two of them talk in the cold.

Eren, Connie, Jean, and Mikasa, however, are not aware of this. Which has the four of them, particularly Eren, groaning from ten feet away at the sight of the two of you together, giving each other warm smiles in the cold.

“Imagine losing the love of your life to a British guy. Twice.” Connie states.

“Shut up.” Eren grumbles, shoving him in the side.

“First he colonizes your country and then your girlfriend?” Jean asks.

“She’s not my girlfriend, need I remind you.” Eren responds, glaring.

“Just when we thought Y/N was done with London Boys…” Connie adds, earning an angry shove from both Eren and Mikasa.

“The British are coming, Eren! The British are coming!” Jean screams, saluting Miksasa and Eren.

“He’s not from London, dumbass.” Mikasa responds.

“Her kid’s first word is going to be bruv…” Connie adds, putting on the thickest accent he can muster.

“They’re not having kids!” Eren groans.

“You guys are so mean! Leave Eren alone, you know how much it must hurt him to see something like that. Especially when he’s been so lonely and-”

“Wow. Thank you, Mikasa. Your defense of me is so moving.” Eren states.

Eren rolls his eyes, as the group of them snicker at his response, and they all immediately wrap their arms around him. A common habit the three of them have, knowing damn well that Eren’s mind is the worst place to be at times, and that sometimes their presence and stupid jokes is enough to put a damper on that internal monologue that plagues Eren constantly.

“Go fight for your girl, Eren. She doesn’t even know what you did for her.” Mikasa states.

“Correction. What I tried to do for her. And you go fight for your best friend. Who should be your maid of honor instead of that rodeo clown, Amy, by the way.”

“Hey.” Mikasa states, glaring at him.

“I swear to god, my feet have bruises from when we practiced walking down the aisle. I’m going to be in a wheelchair by the time we make it to the wedding, Mika.”

“You’re just saying that because you want Y/N to be walking down with you instead of Amy.” Mikasa counters.

“Well, yes. Obviously. But even besides that, do you really want Amy to be at your side during your wedding, Mikasa? Y/N is your best friend. Mind you, this wedding wouldn’t even be happening without me and her. We’re the only reason you guys got to have all those sleepovers back in the day.”

“You’re full of shit, Eren. You’re acting like you didn’t benefit from those sleepovers either.” Jean counters.

“No one had a sleepover with me. Which is just fucking rude in my opinion.” Connie adds, rather unhelpfully.

Eren frowns, as he looks over at you. Your head is angled up, staring at the stars littered across the sky and the tiniest crescent moon shining down on all of you. Eren swallows hard, trying his best to aid you in your efforts to make amends.

“I’m just saying, Mikasa. This is your wedding. You only get married once ….do you really not want her to be a part of it?” Eren asks.

Eren watches Mikasa, at the wistful look on her face, as she watches you stand there alone, crunching the rocks under your feet as you hop in the cold of the night. Eren gives Mikasa one last pointed glare before walking over and standing at your side.

“Hi Margaret.”

“Hi Bruce.” you respond.

“Did you pick up arson as a hobby in your free time?” he asks.

“Of course! Arson is good for the environment. I’m very passionate about climate change.” you respond, earning a laugh from him.

“How so?”

“Fires stimulate new growth. Recycles nutrients in the ground, clears the forest floors of debris, and opens it up to sunlight.” you murmur.

“Oh, yeah. Porco’s carpet is really flourishing right now.” Eren responds.

“Exactly! You get me.” you respond, as the two of you laugh into the night.

Eren’s quick to take his own jacket off, wrapping it around your shoulders, as you give him a glare.

“Just when I think you’ve reached the peaks of your cornniness, you always seem to astound me, Eren Jaeger.”

“What can I say? I’m an overachiever, princess.” Eren responds, pinching the softness of your cheek.

The two of you laugh as you both smile at each other, in the chill of the night. He’s about to speak, but on cue, the firefighters walk out of the house and you both get distracted, running to huddle back into the house. Levi murmurs something about hot chocolate, which has the group of you jumping in excitement, as you all settle into the kitchen and the dining table.

And as always, Falco is scribbling some mess in his notebook, something you’ve found him doing almost everyday this week. You slide into the seat across from him and Niccolo, giving Gabi a polite smile at your side, as you look up at him.

“Hi Coco.”

“Hi Y/N.”

“What are you up to?” you ask.

Like a deer caught in headlights, Falco immediately slams the book shut and gives Gabi and Niccolo painstaking glares before awkwardly laughing.

“Nothing! Drawing!” Falco rambles.

“Are you doing nothing or are you drawing?” you ask.

“Nothing. I’m doing nothing.” he responds.

You give Gabi and Niccolo a pointed glare.

“You would tell me if he was writing my name a hundred times in the Death Note, right?”

Gabi and Niccolo laugh, as Gabi and Falco immediately run off for their hot chocolate and you move to Niccolo’s side. The group of them join you with their steaming cups of hot chocolate and you shoot Connie a grateful smile when he sets one down in front of you.

“He really isn’t plotting my death, is he?” you ask Niccolo.

“No. No. Don’t be silly, Y/N.” he responds.

You sigh, wrapping your fingers around the warm mug.

“I know. I just haven’t…fought with him like this before. It’s weird to have an awkward air to us.” you respond.

“You haven’t fought with Falco, ever. You guys both fight with me.” Colt corrects.

“Well, you’re annoying, Colt.” you respond.

You turn back to Niccolo, gesturing for him to give you an explanation.

“Falco’s trying to impress you, Y/N.” Niccolo states.

“Huh?”

“He’s writing a song. Trying to prove to you that he should be here.” he states.

You deflate. You never meant to make Falco feel like you thought he was untalented. That he didn’t deserve to be here.

“Is the song good? Please tell me he’s a songbird and less of a…falcon.” Connie responds.

“You’re not as funny as you think you are, Connie.” Mikasa deadpans, rolling her eyes.

“Oh, it’s great. I can tell he has a lot of promise, this is the type of stuff we get in demos at the label.” Niccolo responds.

“Label?” you ask.

“I worked with a label for a while back as a producer. I kind of decided it wasn’t my thing a while ago and went into acting.” Niccolo states.

“Would you happen to know anything about like…making deals regarding albums and stuff?” you ask.

“Yeah. Why do you ask?”

The smallest spark of hope flares in you.

“I have a dilemma. I was wondering if you could shed some light on it for me?” you ask.

“Sure. What’s up?” Niccolo asks.

Eren and Connie give each other a look.

“When I signed on with Danny and Sareen, I promised the label four albums. The thing is, I…kind of fired them before I got to the fourth one and then released that one independently.”

“You fired them?” Gabi asks, eyes wide.

“Yeah. They…they weren’t great. Anyways, they’re kind of claiming that they have ownership under the fourth album and that it’s in violation of my contract with them to have released something before the contract was up. So all of the royalties for streaming the songs goes to them but since I’m not technically an employee of the label anymore they…..they don’t pay me a cent of the money.”

The group of them go silent, eyes wide as they stare back at you. You note that Levi and Hange’s ears perk up from where they’re standing too, five feet away in the kitchen with the mugs.

“Which album is this, Y/N?” Annie asks.

“The Lucky One.”

“What?” Annie states.

The group of them break out into their own chatter, Connie and Eren being noticeably silent in the mix. Annie and Armin are going on about how ridiculous it is, Porco making it a point to note that it’s your most streamed albums, that the money must be somewhere in the millions as you give them all a polite smile.

“Is there anything I can do, Nico?” you ask.

Niccolo sighs.

“I don’t know many people who have been successful with this type of thing. But I’ll see what I can find out for you, okay? We’ll think of something.” Niccolo responds, his mouth upturned as he frowns at you.

“Okay. Thanks Nico, I-I was just wondering. I’m not holding my breath about it or anything.” you respond.

The group of them shuffle back into their own individual conversations, as Mikasa takes the empty seat at your side.

“Hey.”

“I’m sorry you don’t get any of the money for the Lucky One, Y/N. It’s a really great album.”

“Thank you, Mikasa. Really.” you respond, squeezing her hands in yours.

You both lift your mugs, the silence enveloping the two of you as you try to think of the words.

To make amends.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come to your engagement party.” you respond.

“Oh- that’s-”

“Can I…can I explain?” you ask.

Mikasa nods.

“I found out that I didn’t own the album anymore the day before the party. And I had every intention of coming actually, I had packed the bags and bought a dress and booked a plane ticket but…”

You sigh.

“My music is the one thing that I owned. If there was any merit to me, if people called me fake and a slut and everything in between, there was….little they could say about the music. It was mine. I wrote it, I put my heart and soul into it just to…” you ramble.

“I can imagine, Y/N.” Mikasa responds, softly.

“It’s….it took so much out of me to make all four of those albums. And it’s not that I’m not proud of them but they were the reason it was so hard. To think that they still make money off of me, after everything they did is…”

“A good reason not to come to an engagement party.” Mikasa finishes.

“I should have been there still. Or at least told you. About everything that happened and I’m really sorry about that but-”

Mikasa sets her mug down at the table and immediately wraps her arms around you, her hands soft in your hairs as you deflate into your shoulder. When you look up, Connie, Jean, and Eren are smiling at the two of you and you make it a point to glare at them. Connie mouths something that looks an awful lot like “maid of honor” which has you rolling your eyes.

When you all shuffle back into your rooms, Mikasa gives you a tight hug before you go to bed. And you relish in what you can get.

“Your head is going to explode if you think any harder.” Levi states, crossing his legs as he sits beside you on the floor.

You sigh, hiking your knees to your chest. You watch Falco and Kaya run around the set, playing with the extra ODM gear lying around the set. He’s laughing hard, excitedly panting as he runs along the perimeter of the room.

“Talk.” Levi states.

“Am I a cavewoman, Levi?” you mutter.

“Evidently.” Levi responds.

You sigh.

“I’m just wondering how we’re going to protect Falco, Gabi, and Kaya from all this stuff.” you murmur.

Levi meets your line of vision, watching the three of them now running around. And you and Levi rise to have the same conversation you had months ago, though relatively calmer this time around.

“I understand why you want to, but you have to let go of that, Y/N.” Levi responds.

“Why? He’s my brother, Levi. And Gabi and Kaya are so sweet, they’re so…full of life. I’d hate to see that ripped from them just because people are horrible.” you murmur.

“Did you listen when I warned you, Y/N? Did Eren?” he asks.

You rest your chin against the tops of your knees, as you hug your knees closer to your chest.

“Levi…”

“There are some lessons you have to learn on your own. You can’t learn their lessons for them. All you can do is be there to catch them if they fall.” Levi responds.

You lean your head against the back wall.

“It’s a touch pill to swallow and I get that. Trust me, I’ve been ten different levels of frustrated with myself when I wasn’t able to stop certain things from happening. But-”

“None of those things were your fault, Levi.” you respond.

“If something does happen to Falco and Gabi, it won’t be your fault either.”

You sigh.

“Everyone goes through things like this. These aren’t just…isolated to us because we’re famous. Granted, they are on public display for people to see, but everyone goes through this kind of thing. These are just the…obstacles that we’ve been given.” Levi responds.

“Okay, Levi. I’ll try to get there.” you respond.

Levi looks over at you, eyebrows raised.

“You feeling okay? You’re listening to me without any pushback?” he states, lightly shoving you.

“Shut up. I’m turning over a new leaf. Trying to do this thing called making amends.” you respond.

Levi smiles in response, a hand coming down on your hair.

“Consider us amended. So what’s your deal with Mikasa then?” he states.

You groan.

“She’s your cousin, Levi. You tell me what her deal is with me.” you respond.

“I believe she picked our resident pain in the ass, Amy, as her maid of honor because she literally had to pick one. The wedding isn’t too far out and she needs the help since Jean can’t help when it comes to type of this thing.” Levi resopnds.

You hum in response.

“Not that Amy is any help either. Not that I hate my own family but…Amy’s always been a bit of a…tough nut to swallow. She’s made a couple of weird comments to Hange, so obviously I hate her. Just doesn’t understand the whole fame thing, that’s all.”

You snort.

“It’s weirdly nice to have her around. I- she asks me all these overbearing questions. Kind of prepares me for when I’ll start having to do press again.” you murmur.

“I won’t send you on the press tour unless you’re ready for it. And you know there will be multiple with the season being split into three, so…don’t rush into it all.” Levi responds.

You nod, giving him a polite smile.

“Thank you, Levi. For always being there to catch me.” you respond.

“Don’t thank me for basic human decency, brat.” Levi spits, standing up to join Hange on the other side of the room.

You smile as you walk up to Connie, who is aggressively scribbling on the whiteboard. There’s two columns and his chicken scratch handwriting on the space.

Father versus Daddy.

“Is anyone going to explain?” you ask, settling into the seat between Mikasa and Sasha.

“They’re ranking everyone’s new Season Four looks. But Connie’s insisting that you cannot compare fathers and daddies. And Jean is forcing us all to do it anyways.” Sasha explains.

You hum in response, as you tune into Connie’s incessant rambling.

“No, listen. Why would you compare Reiner and Eren? That’s not even the same playing field!” Connie shouts.

“Well, if you’re making an objective list, you have to compare them.” Jean states.

“Whose the daddy and the father between Reiner and Eren?” you ask.

“Princess, don’t ask stupid questions.” Connie states, rolling his eyes.

“What? It’s a valid question.” you deflect.

“Eren is obviously the daddy. And Reiner is father. Look at that beard.” Connie states, grabbing Reiner by the cheeks and squishing his skin.

You smile.

“Facial hair really suits you, Reiner. Unlike some people.”

There’s a good amount of laughter, as you look over at Eren who rolls his eyes at you.

“Okay, everyone pick. Are we picking Eren or Reiner for the first spot?” Connie asks.

“I still think it’s rude that I was eliminated at the last round. It’s very hard to pull off a mullet.” Jean states.

“Stop quoting your fiance! You lost out fair and square.” Niccolo shouts.

After Connie counts the votes, Reiner beats out Eren by one vote, to which Reiner’s satisfiedly smiles. Levi calls for Eren to start filming, as you turn on your seats to watch him film.

The ends of Eren’s voice are lost to you as he takes his shirt off and the group of you go silent.

Eren’s raking his fingers through his own hair as he secures it at the back of his neck, just for Connie to start hollering at him and Jean starts wolf whistling. There’s a pink flush climbing up Eren’s neck as he flips the two of them off, before turning back to Levi.

“Can I change my vote?” Pieck asks, earning a fit of laughter from the group.

And you’d love to relish in the discourse, because Eren’s clearly been working out, but you’re entirely distracted by the three, jagged pink scars running along the length of Eren’s back. The makeup team is quick to walk onto the set, quickly masking the scarred tissue as Eren shoots them a polite smile.

“Eren was my celebrity crush when I was little.” Gabi states.

“Me too!” Kaya responds, the two of them giggling into their hands.

Falco is seething behind you at their admissions as Connie joins you at your side, picking up on your blank stare as you watch Eren lean forward on the sink.

“Real cutie, isn’t he?” Connie asks, elbowing you in your side.

You roll your eyes.

“You can’t even say no. You voted for him.” Connie responds.

“Yes. I’m aware, Connie.”

Levi shoots you and Connie a glare, as you both apologize and quiet your voices.

“The marks on Eren’s back, Connie.” you murmur, softly.

Connie nods, almost too understanding of what’s plaguing you.

“That’s Eren’s story to tell you. But it happened on set, a while back.”

You look back at Eren, as him and Hange act out the scene. At the raised skin on his back, in between the tautness of his muscle. You absentmindedly think that if you were to run your hands on his bare back, it would no longer be a smooth surface like the last time you held him. There would be raised skin in the mix, that soft, pink tissue.

“We should just count ourselves lucky that Hange and Levi never endangered our lives when they had us doing stunts.” Connie states.

You nod, the thought sombering your mood all together when you realize what he means.

That Eren was hurt by people being careless with his safety.

“Ask him about it. He’ll tell you.”

“He doesn’t tell me anything. We just kind of awkwardly pretend nothing happened.”

“Do you ask?” Connie states.

“What am I supposed to say? Hey, remember when you said our entire relationship was fake on a really popular podcast? What did you mean by that?”

Connie sighs.

“Start small. There’s a lot for you both to unpack. It takes a second.” Connie murmurs.

“There’s a lot for you to unpack too, Connie. Like the fact that you and Eren are best friends? Because the last time I saw you, you quite literally had just fist fought him a few days prior and said he was the reason you were even addicted in the first place.” you respond.

Connie sighs.

“I was wrong. When you came, mind you, I was already so far gone. And anything I was saying, you…you shouldn’t give merit to it. I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for Eren. He was the one who took me to rehab. And made sure that I stayed there. All while he was trying to help Lana and-”

Connie stops abruptly.

“Just pressure him. He’s been preparing what he’s going to say to you for so long. And he’s just scared to let it all out after so long.”

You frown, the irritation festering in you, as Eren walks up, a smile plastered on his face. Connie holds his shirt out for him before walking away, as Eren takes the seat next to you.

“Hi Margaret.”

“Hi Bruce.” you grumble, glaring at him.

The two of you sit in silence as you ponder how to approach it, keeping your eyes fixed on the crew changing the set for the next scenes.

“What happened to your back, Eren?”

You notice Eren immediately tense up next to you, his hands tightly clasped together, as he swallows hard.

“Y/N.”

“I want to know what happened to your back. What you meant when you talked to me backstage at the awards show. Why you took me to that beach.”

It’s almost like you’ve broken some wall between you, that tiny porcelain barrier that you and Eren never touch. Because Eren’s eyes go wide, his demeanour entirely different, like a downtrodden animal. And he looks just like he did at the awards show, a person who seems miles away.

“I want to know why the fuck you went on that podcast and acted like you didn’t care about me. I want to know if you fucking care about me, Eren.”

“Of course I care about you!” he murmurs.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Eren. You insinuating you only wanted me for my body gave me a pause for a second there.” you spit.

Eren shuts his eyes, in frustration or pain you can’t quite tell, as he unclasps his hands.

“Why did you let me break up with you because Sareen and Danny asked me to?” you ask.

“Why did you break up with me because Danny and Sareen told you to, Y/N?” Eren counters.

Your throat burns.

“Well, I-”

“Why did you come to see me for my birthday, Y/N? Could you not tell that I didn’t want you there?” Eren asks.

The embarrassment courses through you.

“I came to tell you that I still loved you, Eren. I came there because I wanted to be with you.” you counter.

“And I stopped talking to you, I pulled away because I couldn’t have you be there with me. That is the last place I could have you be, Y/N.” Eren responds, frustrated.

“I get it. You don’t want to be with me. You don’t need to keep fucking rem-”

“Do you have selective hearing? Where did I say that I didn’t want you? I said I couldn’t have you be there with me. Those are two different things.” he seethes.

You glare at him.

“You sound like a dumbass, Eren. Your actions were literally-”

“What part of that trip made it seem like I didn’t fucking want you? If you critically think, for two seconds Y/N, you would realize that the fact that I fucking loved you so much I couldn’t even stay away when you showed up. But I couldn’t have you there. Because if it came down to it, when I had to pick between covering someone else or taking care of you, I’d pick you. And I…I couldn’t. There was too much at stake and-” Eren rambles.

“You aren’t even making sense, Eren. What could possibly be at stake?” you shout.

Eren sighs.

“Everything, Y/N.” Eren responds, softly.

He reaches down, taking one of his hands in yours, as he presses hard on your knuckles. There’s nothing behind his eyes, or rather something simmering deep down, as he avoids your gaze. And the entire…demeanour is enough to push back the wave of anger and let that small soft spot that you have for Eren rise up.

That always coaxed him into talking.

“Y/N.”

“What?”

“I’m asking you that when the time comes, you’ll hear me out. I-I have answers for you. All of them, almost every single one I just need you to wait. For me. Please.” Eren begs.

You know the look in his eyes too well. The desperation. The same desperation that Eren had when he asked you if you still belonged to him, on that beach.

And for a second time, you give in.

“Don’t make me wait forever, Bruce.”

The wall is back up.

“I won’t, Margaret.” Eren responds.

He drops your hands, before walking away with his hands shaking, as you swallow that acidic bile in your throat. And try to rack your mind for the hundredth time, trying to figure out what Eren means.

There’s something about Sasha and Niccolo that makes your heart yearn.

You place your hands flat on Sasha’s shoulders, wrapping your coat around her arms, as she smiles at you in the mirror. You’ve braided the front of her hair, Mikasa’s twisted little flowers into the ends, and Gabi’s brushed all your sparkly makeup over her face to the best of her desires.

Because Sasha and Niccolo are going on their first date.

And there’s something about both of their demeanours, the way they act around each other, that leaves a pit in your chest. And comes with a mix of emotions - going every which way.

First, an overwhelmingly abundant feeling of happiness for Sasha. Because if her words were any inkling to you, it seems like this agonizing want, to be held, to be loved, is something that has plagued Sasha for years. And being here - being around Jean and Mikasa, Levi and Hange, even you and Eren - you’re almost positive that Sasha’s been walking around with this pit, with this yearning in her chest her entire life.

It almost makes it sweeter that she’s getting it now.

Second, there’s some part of it that leaves you with this warm, soft feeling in your stomach. Because the group of you - Sasha, Mikasa, Annie, Pieck, and even Gabi - you’d spent all day together. Picking out Sasha’s outfit, letting her pick out the jewelery, and tell you all the things that Niccolo had planned for her.

That the two of them were going to go on a picnic, by a lake nearby. That Niccolo had spent all this time planning the date with all the guys - that Eren told him about the place, that Jean picked out the food to make with him, that Connie’s been giving one liners to Niccolo to use the entire night.

And third, it makes you long for something you don’t quite have anymore. That at one point, there was someone that filled you with that type of joy. That you know the full extents of her happiness, because you were once in that spot, and even worse, know exactly what could be waiting for her if things go south.

It leaves you with many things. Longing, yearning, fear, and protectiveness. Over Sasha.

Downstairs, Eren is having the same feelings, as the group of them threaten Niccolo at the dining table. Jean, Connie, Armin, and Eren made it a point to make sure that Niccolo, sweet sweet Niccolo, was going to show Sasha the time of her life tonight.

Connie’s having way too much fun with it. Meaning, that he’s got a flood light that he stole from set that he’s shining in Niccolo’s face. Like he’s in an interrogation.

“What are your intentions with Sasha, Niccolo? If that’s even your real name.” Connie seethes.

“Niccolo is my real name. And I just want to take her on a date. M-make her feel special.”

“Likely story, bitch boy.” Jean screams, slamming his fist down on the table.

Eren looks over, giving Armin a weary look, as Jean and Connie continue.

“What food did you make, lover boy?” Connie asks.

“Um, Sasha once mentioned that she wanted to try ratatouille? Like from the movie? So I made that and the sides are mashed potatoes since she likes-”

“How do you know she’s going to like it? What are you going to do if she doesn’t?” Jean asks.

“Take her somewhere else. Make sure that she eats something she likes?” Niccolo asks, a bead of sweat on his forehead.

Armin leans over, whispering in Eren’s ear.

��They’re having way too much fun doing this. I almost feel bad for the guy.” Armin states.

“I know. Sasha’s going to wring their necks out when she finds out they did this.” Eren responds.

“That, I want a front row show for. Sasha always has the funniest insults.”

“God, I know. I’m so lucky she wasn’t there when we were all talking about Hobo Eren for the first time. I’m afraid my self esteem wouldn’t be able to survive that.” Eren mutters back.

Armin laughs, with has Eren’s chest writhing in ten different ways, as Connie starts interrogating Niccolo about where he’s going to place his hands on Sasha tonight.

“Okay, Con. That’s enough.” Eren states, giving Armin a knowing look as they both take a seat across from Niccolo.

“Ah. Right, I hope you know that I-I have the best intentions with Sasha tonight. I really, really like her and I would never do anything to hurt her.” Niccolo states, hands up in defense as he looks at Armin and Eren.

Eren fights the urge to smile.

“You better.” Eren states, face blank as he looks at Niccolo.

“H-huh?” Niccolo asks.

“You heard him. You better.” Armin repeats, mimicking Eren’s expression.

“Right. I-I just said that I did.” Niccolo responds.

“Great. Then we won’t have a problem. Do you want a problem, Niccolo?” Armin states, folding his hands on the table.

“N-no.” he responds.

“Why did you stutter, Niccolo?” Eren asks, pinching his eyes at him.

On cue, Eren and Armin are cut off from their version of Jean and Connie’s interrogation, which they’re sure is more horrifying than theirs, as all the girls run down the stairs and start giggling. Eren’s thrown off by the excited look on your face, at your hands linked with Mikasa.

“Oh! Oh, Nico stand up! You look so cute.” you state, squeezing Mikasa’s hands as you look at him.

His soft blonde curls are tamed against his forehead, the tiniest bouquet of little flowers bunched up in his hands. You can tell that he’s a little nervous - from the way he’s awkwardly smiling at the group of you and the little flush on his cheeks - which has your heart squelching even more.

“Sasha’s a lucky girl.” Mikasa agrees, a wide smile on her face.

“Speaking of Sasha, I think she’s ready.” Annie states.

The group of you all stand to the side, arm linked with Sasha’s, as Sasha stumbles down the stairs. Niccolo and Sasha have matching pink flushes rushing up their necks as they awkwardly smile at each other, Sasha stumbling over her words when Niccolo hands her the flowers and Niccolo nearly losing it over Sasha calling him handsome.

“You two. If I found out you bothered him, I’m going to wring your necks out.” Sasha states, pointing over to the boys with a menacing glare.

“We didn’t do anything!” Jean whines.

“I’m not talking to you, Jean. I’m talking to you two.” Sasha states, accusingly pointing at Eren and Armin.

“We didn’t do anything. Right, Niccolo?” Eren asks, giving him his best peachy smile.

“Of course not!” Niccolo states, linking his hands with Sasha as the two of them give you all waves goodbye and you all clump by the door to watch them settle into the car.

Armin and Eren are directly behind you, giggling about something, as the two of them drive off.

“You guys are so mean. You probably scared the guy to death.” you state.

“It was nothing that wasn’t necessary, Y/N.” Eren responds, crossing his hands over his chest.

“If anything, I would argue it was noble. Wouldn’t you agree, Eren?” Armin states, leaning his elbow on Eren’s shoulder, like he’s deep in thought.

“I think I would, Armin.” Eren responds, the two of them giving admonishing look.

“He’s a sweet guy!” you whine.

“We know that. But this is Sasha. I can’t have him going around thinking he’s in her league or something.” Eren states.

“Sasha is basically a national treasure. We’re have to remind him of his place here.” Armin states.

You roll your eyes, pushing past the both of them, as you roll your eyes. You pad into the kitchen, rummaging around for snacks, as Eren follows behind you. And right when you’re about to pour yourself a bowl of cereal, Eren’s quick to snatch the box from your hands.

“Sorry. We’re eating proper food for dinner tonight.” Eren states, giving you a peachy smile.

“You’re so annoying.” you grumble, trying to reach for the box again.

“Cereal is good. But you have to balance it out. With some protein or add some fruits in it or something.” Eren adds.

“Or I can just eat it right now and you can quit it.”

“Nope. We’re eating pasta.” Eren states, now rummaging through all the cabinets as he sets out to make the food.

You push up on the counter, dangling your feet off the edge, as you get a weird sense of deja vu.

Of your first date with Eren.

“Can I cut the vegetables?”

Eren looks over, just to give you a pointed glare. And you fight the urge to laugh, and ignore that stirring in your chest, that he remembers. Or more appropriately, still doesn’t trust you to cook in the kitchen with him.

“Do you think you’re some kind of comedian, Margaret?”

“No. I’m a really good cook now. You can trust me.”

Eren leans against the counter, a hand on his hip, as you roll your eyes.

“Right. Need I remind you, you almost set the house on fire a few days ago. God knows what you’re going to do if I let you do this.” Eren sneers.

“You’re so-”

“For all we know, you’re going to start a grease fire! And then try to throw water at it to put it out.”

“Do you not put fires out with water?”

Eren laughs.

“Oil and water don’t mix, princess. Were you born yesterday?”

You fight the urge to laugh, at how sassy Eren is being, as you reach for the vegetables lying directly to his side. And when you pull out the cutting board and the knife from the drawer, Eren’s scoffing at you.

“Yeah, right. Use the safety knife.” Eren states.

“Am I five years old, Eren?”

“Litearlly yes. Give me like two minutes, I’ll do it.” Eren responds.

You roll your eyes, as you attend to cutting the little vegetables, dicing the onions and the bell peppers to the best of your ability.

“Do you think Sasha’s having fun?” you ask.

“It’s Niccolo. I’m sure he’s putting on a good time for her. And if he isn’t, Armin and I are going to wring his neck out when he comes back.”

“You and Armin, huh?”

Eren’s shoulders deflate, the smallest makings of a smile on his face.

“It’s not anything like that, Y/N. We just don’t play about Sasha, that’s all.” Eren responds.

“Or, you two are making amends. Baby steps.”

Eren smiles.

“Maybe. I hope so.” he responds.

“I love how you guys are all protective of Sasha. It’s really sweet, actually.” you murmur.

“Well, it’s Sash. She’s basically like our little sister.” Eren responds.

“I know. But it just reminds me of when we were younger and stuff. Sasha, she never really had someone interested in her like that. I think some part of her really internalized that type of stuff, so I’m glad we’re all able to make her feel special now.” you respond.

“How so?”

“I don’t know. I can’t really speak to it personally, but from what Sasha said, some part of her took it really seriously. That it was something about her, that it was her personality or her looks and that’s why people didn’t like her like that.”

Eren frowns.

“Sasha’s beautiful. And she’s funny. We’re so protective of her because she’s so special.” Eren responds.

“I know that. I just mean, when you don’t get that type of attention, you tend to…let it stick with you. It even happens to people who haven’t been in relationships for a while. Like the yearning, the longing for something like that just makes you kind of…down.” you mumble.

Eren looks over at you, green eyes peering into yours.

“Are you down, Y/N?” he asks.

“What?”

“I was just asking if you were down. It’s been a while since you’ve been in a relationship.” Eren responds, the tone of his voice heartfelt.

You sigh.

“Okay, Mr. Long Term Relationship. I don’t want to seem like I’m jealous of Sasha, I’m actually really happy for her-”

“I’m not in a long term relationsip.” Eren responds.

“You’re not?” you ask.

Eren looks over at you and frowns.

“Did you really go into hibernation the two years you were gone? I haven’t been in a relationship for almost a year and a half now.” Eren responds.

“Oh.”

Eren smiles.

“Yeah, oh. But continue with what you were saying.” Eren gestures.

“I don’t know. Sometimes you just want someone to hold you.” you respond.

You reach for the next set of vegetables, the slicing sound distracting you from that palpable tension in the air.

“I get that. I feel that way too sometimes. Especially around Jean and Mikasa.” Eren responds.

“God, don’t get me started. They’re so sweet it makes my stomach hurt.” you respond.

You must have been too distracted by the premise, because you cut down into the softness of your fingers and immediately hiss in pain. Eren’s all too quick to move to your side, his head peering over your shoulder as he immediately starts scolding you.

“You know, this is why I told you not to cut the vegetables, Margaret.”

“Are you really having an “I told you so moment” while I’m bleeding out, Bruce?” you deadpan.

“You aren’t bleeding out, drama queen.”

Eren’s quick to reach over you, pulling out the stack of alcohol wipes and bandaids from the cupboard. He places his hands on your shoulders, twisting you to face him as he holds his hand out. You instinctively high five his hand, which he rolls his eyes at.

“Your other hand, Y/N.”

You roll your eyes as you place your injured hand in his, ignoring his featherlike touch on your fingers as he carefully wraps the Cinderella bandaid around your finger. When Eren’s all set and done, he lightly curls his hand around yours, just to immediately pull it back when he realizes what he’s done.

“Thanks.” you respond.

“No problem. Now move over and let me cut these before I have to put a tourniquet on you.” Eren states, sliding you slightly to the side.

You watch Eren in silence, as he attentively makes the dinner for the two of you. And try to banish the thought from your mind, that if you and Eren were still together, that this is what every night would look like for the two of you. That he would have held you, when you said you wanted to be held.

“Have you written any new music lately?” Eren asks, plating the food onto the dishes before picking up both and gesturing for you to follow.

You shake your head, twisting the forks in your fingers.

“I actually haven’t written anything since the Lucky One. Since happiness.”

The two of you eat in silence, before Eren speaks again.

“It’s a beautiful song, Y/N.”

“Thank you.” you murmur.

The interviews fresh on your mind, particularly the fact that you have confirmation now that Eren’s watched it, which has your words, rather embarrassingly, ringing in your mind.

Eren Jaeger is the love of my life. He’s everything you want in the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and more. He’s kind, he’s sensitive, he’s all too willing to understand you. Too willing to meet you where you are, as you are, and look past all the bad parts of you.

You look over at him.

He’s still your Eren.

“Have you met the new you yet, Y/N?” Eren asks.

You understand what he means.

Have you forgiven him yet?

“I don’t know. There’s still some things I don’t know, Eren. And I’ve been patient but-”

“Everyone’s leaving for the first press tour on Friday.” Eren states.

You tilt your head to the side, in confusion.

“Everyone except you and me.” Eren adds.

“Oh.”

“I’ll have your answers. I just…I can’t have anyone here when we talk about this. All of it and-”

“Well, I wouldn’t want anyone here anyways. I can’t have any accomplices to my homicide.” you state.

Eren laughs, reaching over to lightly shove your shoulder, as he gestures for you to keep eating.

“Just two more days, okay?” Eren whispers.

“Okay, Eren.” you respond, a silent chill running down your spine.

You tap his foot under the table on instinct. And he taps on your foot back.

Falco’s seated at the piano, his entire demeanour a mix of nerves. His hairs a tousled mess, certainly from running his hands through it a hundred times, a sizable bead of sweat on his forehead, and his hands shaking underneath his legs.

You’re all sat around him in a circle, everyone anticipating Gabi’s arrival, as you all watch Falco nervously twitch on the bench. Last night, after Levi had finished his press brief, preparing everyone for answers to common questions (the main one being about whether or not you’re returning for season four), Falco cleared his throat and asked you all for a special request.

For everyone to gather on the set, early morning before everyone leaves for the press tour tomorrow. And after he shuffled out of the room, Niccolo made you all aware that he was planning on playing his new song for you.

Naturally, you all obliged. You’re all stuck in your own conversations, quietly musing and sharing the extra blankets on set, as Eren settles down next to you, crossing his legs over one another as he sits at your side. He’s holding out an extra blanket for you, which you gratefully smile at him for, before wrapping around yourself.

“Good morning, Margaret.”

“Hi Bruce.”

Eren smiles, his entire demeanour shifting. He’s the most calm you’ve seen him, at least in a while. You think it suits him. Meanwhile, you can’t help but feel like an anxious ball of nerves just being here next to him.

“Ready?” Eren asks.

Your heart drops.

“For?”

“Hearing Falco’s song. I heard from Gabi that it’s really great.” Eren states.

Right. He definitely wasn’t asking about the conversation you guys were going to have when everyone left.

“Yeah. I’m excited.” you respond.

“Me too.”

You swallow hard, giving Falco a smile as he glances over at you.

“And I didn’t forget, Y/N.” he adds, voice quiet so you’re the only one who can hear it.

You nod in response, acknowledging his words, as the dryness overtakes your throat. And on cue, Gabi runs into set, her hood pulled over her head, as she all but rambles as she walks in.

“Ah! Falco, guys. Oh my gosh, I’m so so sorry. I woke up late and then couldn’t find my clothes and-”

“It’s okay, Gabi.” Falco responds, giving her a soft smile.

“Oh, Falco. I really am sorry. But I’m here now. And you’ve got this!” she responds, holding her hand out.

Falco smiles big, reaching forward as him and Gabi complete some long winded and complicated handshake. And when they’re done, Gabi settles into the seat right next to Eren, as he reaches forward to pull the hood of her jacket down and she gives him an excited smile.

“Sorry for making you guys do this. I just-”

Falco stops short, absentmindedly pressing on one of the keys.

“Y/N has told me so much about what doing press is like. Before, when I was younger. That sometimes people would ask her questions that were weirdly inappropriate or…or ask her different questions than her male co-stars and…”

Your heart clenches.

“It bothered me so much to think that people said stuff like that to my sister. And now that I know all of you, I hate to think you’ve all been doing press like that too. I figure we’d all leave today on a high note? And I could share something I’ve been doing for a while with you, if that’s okay.” Falco rambles, the smallest flush creeping up his neck.

You all smile, huddling closer into your blanket as Falco starts playing the piano.

Floorboards creaking in my home Deathly silence when alone Oh, I wish that you were here right now So unlike me, somehow I Fell in love in just three nights Those November days still haunting me

Falco’s always been a great singer. He’s always been like this - so full of energy, his voice so full of life. And you’re sure that the tears falling down your cheeks, the smile creeping up on your face, is a byproduct of the hundreds of thoughts running across your mind, but mainly the pride swelling in your chest.

That Falco’s not five anymore and that he doesn’t need your help reaching the high cabinets. And that he may not always hold your hand like he did when he was seven, but he never flinches or denies you when you ask him to. Or that really, Falco’s grown up.

And you’re almost positive that Falco’s in love. With Gabi, whose smiling at him in awe, the clear signs of pride on her face as she watches him press down on the keys, his soft voice filling the air.

When the gold rays fell on your skin And my hair got caught in the wind The choir sang a melancholic hymn (ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah) In the morning, you would gone I'd be mourning, tryin' to hold on To the memory of your lips God, I'm so lovesick What have you done to me?

You look around the room to find Jean pulling Mikasa flesh against his chest, Sasha and Niccolo reaching to hold each other’s hands, Hange absentmindely leaning her head on Levi’s shoulder, just for him to bring his hand up to comb through her hair.

You look over at Eren, the soft smile on his face as he lightly bobs his head to the music. You must have been staring at him full on, because he looks over at you and smiles.

“When did Coco grow up?” he whispers.

“I’m literally getting a stomach ache thinking about how he’s not a baby anymore.” you respond, frowning at Falco as he finishes singing.

At how sweet he is. At how much you love him. And how you’re going to make sure, without a doubt, that no one gets to take this away from him.

Everyone reaches to give Falco big hugs, tousling his hair and excitedly shaking his tiny frame, as he makes his way over to where you and Eren are sitting on the floor. He lands criss cross in front of you, the smile not leaving his face.

“Did you like it, Y/N?” he asks, the look on his face hopeful.

You reach forward, taking his hands in yours.

“I loved it, Coco.”

“Really?”

“Are you crazy? It’s perfect. You’re perfect.” you respond, squeezing his hands hard.

Falco excitedly rushes in to hug you, only to tackle you hard straight into the ground. You both laugh, a tangled mix of limbs, and you hug him as hard as you can, trying to squeeze that big writhing feeling of love in your chest right onto him with your arms.

“I really love you, Y/N.” Falco murmurs.

“I really love you too, Falco. You’re going to be amazing at this. Like, triple threat level.” you respond.

“That’s rich coming from you.” Falco responds, pulling out of your arms as you pinch his cheek.

“Takes one to know one.” you respond.

You cup Falco’s face in your hands.

“You’ve got this. Really.” you murmur.

“I know.”

“Good. And remember, if anyone says anything shitty to Gabi-”

“I’ll defend her.” he responds.

You smile.

“I’ve taught you well. Though, you’ve never really needed my help. You’ve always been great on your own.”

“I’m lucky to learn from the best. And to have you. To protect me from all the bad stuff.” he adds.

You smile.

“I wish someone got to do it for you.” Falco adds.

“That’s okay. You were always there. You did more for me than you know.”

Falco smiles.

“Wanna know a secret?” Falco asks.

You nod.

“I know everyone hated those two years that you were gone. But they were my favorite.” Falco responds.

You smile hard, reaching forward to press a kiss to his cheek.

“Me too. I finally know how to hit people on Roblox now.”

Falco laughs, turning his head to respond to Gabi and Kaya who are calling him at your sides. Armin’s standing post with his camera, gesturing for him to join the picture.

And little by little, you watch every last one of them pad out of the set, the group of them giving you wistful goodbyes and promises to tell at least one interviewer to go fuck themselves on your behalf, until you and Eren are left sitting alone, on the bench of the piano.

He turns to you, green eyes wide and round, as they peer into yours.

“Ready, Y/N?”

You take a deep breath in.

“Yeah. Where should we start?” you murmur.

“We should start here.” Eren states, handing you a little plastic box.

You take it in your hands, inspecting it in your fingers and flipping it over. It’s a little green CD, with unmistakable handwriting markered onto the top.

Fine Line.

You swallow hard.

“Is that Sukuna’s handwriting?” you ask.

“I’m going to pretend like you didn’t just say that.” Eren responds, rolling his eyes.

“What?”

“You two together has been a sore spot for me since I was sixteen. And I’m not even going to ask you why you’re able to recognize his handwriting straight off the bat.” Eren teases.

You roll your eyes.

“What is this, Eren?” you ask.

“Anything you could possibly want to know is on there.” he responds.

You nod, as the two of you stand up and march back to the townhouse in silence. You twist the little box in your fingers, the CD glimmering in the light outside. When you finally make it back, you push it into the little box and take a deep breath.

Eren reaches for your hand and squeezes. Three times.

And you press play.

next part linked here

an, again: ARE YOU READY FOR IT?? in the efforts of being charitable, here's the song line up for the next chapter: ever since new york by harry styles, clean by taylor swift, all of the girls you've loved before, last kiss by taylor swift, sparks by coldplay, and obviously, fine line by harry styles. make of that what you will.

taglist:

@k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636 @fvckingeetar @ttalgi @najaemism @ilovekimchi123 @youraggedybitch @xoyumiqls @leafguitar @mrksnctzen @spiidergirlsworld

pls comment on this post or any of the chapters if you want to be added to the taglist <3

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