#but I need to live my truth

[shadowed-yet-vibrant]

I hate the pain of not knowing the truth. The pain of getting a text that says "I love you" and automatically reading more into the empty space behind those words - "I love you, but terms and conditions may apply." They've voiced their opinion on others like me, they've voiced it loud and clear. I know what they believe. Is the fact that I am their child enough to change their mind? Is that alone enough to make that love persist, even if I tell the truth of my being? If I transform to the thing they loathe, if I do so before their very eyes, will they still embrace me with open arms?

I'll only know if I take that first step and confess. But I don't think I'm ready, not yet. I'll keep taking each "I love you" like a knife in my heart, because god, I still need those words. Please.

#lgbtq #just closeted things amiright #I am in my mid twenties and each year of lying to myself and others gets harder #this morning my mom texted me #it said 'I love you to the moon and back forever and ever' #but the 'you' in that text is a stranger #it's not really me #for a few moments I can believe it is #before reality comes crashing back down #I need that love and I need that support and I need it from my mom! #but I need to live my truth #we'll see which prevails in the end

[ruporas]

i’ll find you again in every universe. let us be a little more honest, let us have a little more time.

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #despite it all though badlands rumble is like. the only universe where we get wolfwood thinking vash died first... and i think that means a #lot to their relationship and how it may bloom if there was more to badlands rumble considering vash literally saw wolfwood carrying a piece #of vash after his supposed death. u know! despite the short time they were together vash still meant so much to wolfwood that he couldn't #just move on or forget him in anyway. needed to keep a piece of him for himself and the rest of his days. but ofc vash lives and wolfwood #was like ill beat ur fucking ass into tomorrow. there's just so much honesty in vash being able to see that gesture bc he wouldnt know #otherwise just how much he might mean to him. ANYWAY. trimax with with the eternal pining featuring the two chapters where imo #where the both of them really fell for each other... i wrote my thoughts about this on another comic i did before #but vash solidifying his feelings during the hospital arc -- ww solidifies his when he realizes his allegiances are permanently with vash #98 my lovelies but also to me they are so one-sided bc ww pined like no tomorrow and vash only realizes after ep 23?24? his heart did tickle #whenever ww complimented his smile though #and tristamp vw my beloveds. it really just feels like they get the chance to be closer and closer and more honest with each other #with every version that comes about. in trimax they knew how little time they had but struggled so desperately to get closer. in 98 ww felt #more willing to forsake for vash. in badlands rumble theyre Angry but as mentioned earlier ^ more blatant truth... due to circumstances #mainly but has the chance to lead to discussions and tristamp literally. first day of knowing each other ww saves vash - 2 days later vash #saves ww like. Man. AND NOW THEY MAY POTENTIALLY GET EVEN CLOSER!!!! with s2.... #ruporas art

[b4kuch1n]

simulated earth (it does not matter)

transcript

#sherlock and co #sherlock & co #podlock #comic #sherlock holmes #john watson #victor trevor #ft. archie (in like three panels lmao) #need to figure out a podlock specific tag for these guys so this doesnt clutter up the main sh tags #bc ohhh boy. I anticipate being insane abt s&co for a While #this comic def a Hot minute post-gloria scott #what is this about exactly? you ask. haha well (there's sunlight bouncing off a window and when u look back Im already gone) #listen I caught up to everything right before gloria scott and holy Shit that case knocked me on my ass #as a chronic adhd (and thus serious memory problems) haver.... (holds sherlock tenderly) #I have not listened to SOLI yet btw I will tomorrow. I wanted to finish this before catching up #Im obsessed with them. Im such an easy idiot lmao Im a sherlock holmes adaptation enthusiast before Im a human #gloria scott.... the way it muses on the limit of the genre same as the red headed league.... what about the victims? #what about the victims. what about the victims. what part of the pain does the process of investigation cure #victor's like. he's between jobs he's between boyfriends he's living with his dad whose caretaker he just became. who does he have #and sherlock holmes is about the truth but john's been about the solution so far. I just. I really like this john watson lmao #listen the way he complains and then refuses to shoot the underlings in red headed league. based. I love him #I can fix him (radicalize him against punitive justice) #(I am refraining from talking abt sherlock in the tags here bc I Will run out of tags before Im done) #(mariana is not here but I care her too!! she will be here more often in the future I swear I fuckign swear......) #(''I'm in a co-op that's sponsoring my visa. also I just witnessed two actual dead bodies like a month ago'' you mean everything to me) #screams. I got attached SO fast this show is targeting me specifically. my broke millenials suffering in london show #I have like a number of sketches too be prepared. theyre gonna show up soon. until then #have a good day lads. be there! be there. #edit: this comic is finished and assembled in full before I listened to the solitary cyclist part one. this has been an update #I have now listened to SOLI part one. I must hit john watson with a hammer

[some-mari-thoughts]

The neighborhood ghost

Waaaa! I loved reading the artbook so much, and Mari's page had everything I ever needed to see

#OMORI #OMORI Mari #Ghost Mari #Spirit Mari #OMORI Stranger #OMORI SOMETHING #eye contact #? just in case #i like mixing ghost's white eye and something's black #it makes for something freaky n messed up and i dont give nearly enough attention to the fact that shes so freaky in headspace #i think she likes it a lot #ghost girl who likes horror gets to be spooky!!!!! living her dream #Mari #Stranger #BIG SIS BIG SIS #Truth boi #my doodles #my art #bleghhhh i need to practice portraits NOWWWWWWW #and rendering skin #ID in alt #TW eye contact

[p4nishers]

with eddie confirming he only married shannon bc of chris and his disastrous relationship with ana i think it's pretty safe to say that he's gay. he is SO gay and i was right.

#no no sshhhhhhh let me live my truth pls #no but it's so sad to think about cause if he WAS actually 19 when chris was born than he literally had no way i #of even knowing who he was/could be and he had to bury that side of him bc everyone needed him in that marriage h #and he never got to fully know that part of himself but know he has a family and his son is happy and he has space to experiment and #actually get to know himself #im so fucking emotional i love him so much he means everything to me #eddie diaz #911 fox #buddie #evan buckley #buddie 911 #911 6b #911 show #911 6x16 #911 spoilers

[firenati0n]

several sentence sunday <3 :)

hello! Hope you all had a nice week 💛 thank you to thank you to @happiness-of-the-pursuit @anincompletelist @rockyroadkylers @getmehighonmagic @wordsofhoneydew [SO MANY TAGS ARENT WORKING so they're below the cut I am so sorry] for the tags :) :)

Instead of sharing a sweet snippet from city of angels au or a fun snippet from proposal au, I am going to share with you a snippet from an incredibly cursed crack fic i started. It was revealed to me in a nap dream. It's a Hannah Montana the movie au. Popstar!Henry and Cowboy!Alex. It is deeply unhinged. See for yourself. I am so sorry. I promise i am also writing serious good works.

Henry never thought he’d become a global pop superstar. Millions of people screaming his name, hundreds of bras thrown on stage, so many records sold. A face full of glitter and a heart full of dreams. But no one really knows Henry. Not in a way that matters. Herny Mountana belongs to the fans. Henry Fox has to belong to himself, or else he'll vanish. Henry Fox loves country music. He loves open air, blue skies, moonshine. Herny Mountana loves bleach blonde wigs, sparkly cheekbones, jumpsuits, and heeled boots.  They couldn’t be more different. But he knows the price he has to pay. The price he pays every day for fame, for fans, for his goals.  No time to ruminate. He has a concert to play. 

yes his name is herny mountana. no it is not a typo. yes his disguise is literally just the fuck ass rwrb movie wig. yes he whips it off dramatically in the Big Reveal only to show the exact same hair.

xoxo roop

+ tags below the cut <3 and open tag as always :)

@ninzied @dumbpeachjuice @saturntheday  @inexplicablymine  @sherryvalli  @littlemisskittentoes  @bigassbowlingballhead @heybuddy-drabbles  @priincebutt  @theprinceandagcd  @tintagel-or-cockleshells  @cricketnationrise  @tailsbeth-writes  @lizzie-bennetdarcy  @myheartalivewrites  @onward--upward  @celeritas2997 @affectionatelyrs @tinyarmedtrex  @14carrotghoul  @rmd-writes  @anchoredarchangel  @gay-flyboys   @cultofsappho @largepeachicedtea @gayrootvegetable @ships-to-sail @orchidscript @cha-melodius @kiwiana-writes @suseagull04 @sparklepocalypse @leaves-of-laurelin @leojfitz @junebugclaremontdiaz @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @welcometololaland @magicandarchery @onthewaytosomewhere @whimsymanaged

#roop writes #fic: herny #i hate myself for this but i also love myself #i have never laughed so hard #it's so fucking ridiculous #i just need to live my truth #rwrb #rwrb fic #several sentence sunday

[quinns-art-box]

rarepair week day 6: pride/postcard

some gals!!!! i hc ibuki as aroace and peko as bi+ace and i ship them in a qpr :] love drawing characters with pride flags

@dr-rarepair-week-blog

#SORRY IM LATE #danganronpa rarepair week 2023 #danganronpa #peko pekoyama #ibuki mioda #pekobuki #i love them needed 2 draw them.... #something about peko being with someone who encourages her to be herself and explore stuff while also being chill about it.... #ibukis far from chill BUT she has a lot of good wisdom even if it comes across silly & she encourages ppl to live their truth yknow?? #and ibuki's like LOOK AT MY GORGEOUS WIFE and loves the calm energy peko brings #also that she's devoted and passionate

[fear-no-mort]

you can list on one hand the things i wouldn’t do for a scene that’s evil morty and diane meeting and just talking. her death is, in an indirect way, what lead to him and every other morty being trapped in the central finite curve. evil morty talking to diane would be like him realising that it isn’t all hate and harm and that the cfc, something he’s only ever viewed as a prison and something specifically designed to hurt him, was made out of love

#kinda related. iwthink my fav thing anyones ever said about evil morty is #his story isn’t finished until he realises ricks love mortys. it won’t be right if he doesn’t realise that ever #like that really just . Wow. probably won’t be the truth probably won’t be how it ends up going but #SUCH a beautiful thought seriously #rick and morty #evil morty #diane sanchez #rick im sorry but the person who actually needs to talk to her the most is evil morty. #i know you miss her but eh youll live #odiespeak

[stardustdiiving]

How evil is arlecchino and what is she cooking

As of 4.2, I’m really curious what they’re planning with Arlecchino as a character, especially as a villain/antagonist/morally dubious character, and how far/which direction they may go with that

Intuitively my impression is we’ll see her do something way more “villainous” than she presents herself as being for majority of Fontaine’s AQ in front of us right—(which isn’t a surprise given that, you know, Arlecchino nor the House of Hearth have never been presented as 110% ethical LOL) but I find myself not being in complete agreement with most analysis or speculation threads I see about Arlecchino’s morality and the like, level of sinister people seem to ascribe to her.

Idk how to put it, especially in regards to her children I do agree they are not a wholesome found family, that Arlecchino is not above pulling strings or using them for her own ulterior motives, but I kind of hesitate on the idea she only cares about the Hearth children as a means to the end/things she can control and there’s nothing else going on with her characterization wise there. I’m not saying that impression seems remotely unreasonable or unfounded, but just that it feels there’s something intentionally missing in how we are supposed to conceptualize her as a person

My main reasoning for this hunch is the fact they have not elaborated on Arlecchino and the previous Knave—who Arlecchino is stated to have taken over the position from by force. The extra tidbits I think about are that 1) Arlecchino was previously an orphan in the Hearth 2) the previous Knave is described as way, way crueler to the children of than Heart than Arlecchino was from when she took control of the House

Often, people’s major indicators that the House of the Hearth is kind of super fucked up are the NPCs we meet in world quests who are part of it and clearly suffering. But one thing I haven’t ever seen people mention w this that i think is a very interesting detail is, in The Very Special Fortune Slip Inazuma worldquest, where we stop this House of Hearth guy (Efim Snezhevich) from manufacturing tension between Watasumi/the Shogunate to restart the war with his other Hearth subordinates, at the end of the quest we get this dialogue that reveals he had been acting under the previous Knave’s directives:

It’s also mentioned he’s employing this plan in an attempt to “rebuild the prestige of the Knave” following Signora’s death, iirc? Now, see, the dialogue itself says that this is “assuming our captive is telling the truth” so who knows what’s really going on, but I find this a really odd/interesting thing to highlight. I’m a bit fuzzy on other world quests with Hearth members, and am not saying none of them were acting and subsequently being treated poorly by our Arlecchino, but like, this gives me a lot of questions especially when paired with implications this previous Knave seemed to be way worse

Like, what drove Arlecchino to take over? How unexpected and controversial was this within the House? Assuming the above information is all true it definitely says something this guy went rogue and acted on what the previous Knave would want and didn’t think our Arlecchino would greenlight it, which does feel consistent with the previous Knave being described as basically worse & crueler than our Arlecchino. It also makes me question how much house of hearth things we’ve seen outside the main story are the work of our Arlecchino or if there’s a bigger divide of loyalty. Heck, I could be wrong but it doesn’t even seem like we know if the previous Knave is dead or not

This isn’t me saying Arlecchino couldn’t possibly be treating hearth children worse than she wants us to know, especially ones who aren’t her “favorites” the way the fontaine trio seem to be, but I really don’t feel sure about making a solid conclusion of her exact level of malice the way ppl r generally understanding it rn when it feels there’s going to be more about her. Just the idea of she, as a Hearth child, clashed with the previous leader who was known for being cruel, overtook their position and took on less harsh methods of leading that made at least some members with more power/possible closer proximity to the previous Knave go rogue and try to commit atrocities in the previous Knave’s name…I feel this leaves a lot of room to suggest there’s more going on with how Arlecchino is as a person

I don’t mind if she’s just very evil and deceptive bc if she totally had me fall for thinking she was less evil than she actually was that’s fun tbh. But I feel people suggest that’s all her character could be with no degree of like, “sympatheticness” or deep grey morality and that if her character did go there it would be automatically poor writing and genshin walking back on making a truly evil woman when IDK. I feel you can claim at this point they have left it open ended and it’s never been completely confirmed she’s pure evil. Also sometimes I just get a hunch and feel cautiously confident in Genshin executing certain characters well. Not all characters, just certain ones. Especially given Fontaine’s character writing being very good and a character like Lyney feeling very solid to me when any development with Arlecchino would likely involve him and his siblings as well, I honestly feel open to the idea of Arlecchino being satisfyingly written to be both villainous/morally dubious but “sympathetic/likable as a person” in ways outside of just her ruthlessness if that makes sense

If I’m wrong/they drop the ball with it more than I anticipate I’ll eat my hat but I am pretty excited about her character and which way they decide to go with it. I will say the only potential impression I have of where they’ll go with her has been wondering if it will go in a “cycles of abuse” direction—I’d be surprised if they ever elaborated on Arlecchino’s character especially in how she feels about things and her also growing up as an exploited child of the hearth wasn’t relevant

#arlecchino #see my track record with said hunch with when I feel I should let genshin cook has been #for months truthing my vision of xiao’s speififc brand of internalized dehumanization induced suicidal ideation #and how genshin will one day he will get another quest of sorts thst develops his character towards #the idea he’s allowed to live and enjoy people’s company and this will likely #also come with following through on yaksha lore and when they do this they will do him SO well and it will be peak genshin quest #all of this Months before the existence of perilous trails was even rumored #and then I was soo stubborn xiao would show up in 2023 lantern rite w more character introspection to follow up PT #and also from the first fontsine teaser I was in the trenches for furina bc I felt so confident #the main storyline would handle her very well & if genshin went anywhere near the direction of her #not being a ‘true archon’ & ppl were Wrong if they thought genshin woudlnt take her seriously #and HAHA. WWOOWOOWOWOEOEOOEOEE #I have also been sent into hysteria multiple times bc genshin keeps canonizing my exact ideas of my favorite character dynamics #and often exceeding my expectations that I thought were jsut wishful thinking #yes I predicted exactly how xiao would interact w Venti & zhongli on screen yes I predicted #the exact nature of hat radish friendship no I was wiped out on the floor #by nahida enrolling wanderer in college & calling him hat guy & zhongli saving xiao’s life #& xiao having hardcore social anxiety from zhongven flirting with each other st the dinner table #this sounds so conceited. see I often don’t know What genshin is cooking but k feel sure in knowing when soemthing is going to be #a shitshow or mediocre or when we need to let them cook. even if it takes 6+ months #TRUST ME <— guy who has been waiting on genshin to cook for several characters for multiple years and is still sure I will get my food #am I crazy. yes. am I also often right when I have hunches on when genshin is going to suck and when it’s going to be good esp character #writing wise. often yes #one day I will annihilate genshined impact with my bare hands #genshin #fern.txt #fandomferns

[girlghostface]

WELL MY GIRL TAKES HER DRINKS WITH DUST AND RUSTY RAZOR BLADES 💥💥

#blondie.txt #my art #self insert #🐇 #stress relief buny *explodes* #my health insurance got canceled today :L so i need art to live #i had fun with this though^_^ im trying to let loose with my art more. and not gaf about anything #save me scissor sisters lyrics... SAVE ME SCISSOR SISTERS LYRICS!! #ACTUAL selfship content thts not just art of my self inserts...Coming eventually #< I am for sure telling the truth and not lying

[partywithponies]

I'm going to say something.

Not only is Thomas Edison as played by Robert Glenister hot, it's one of Robert Glenister's all-time most attractive characters, if not THE most attractive.

#I need to live my truth #doctor who #robert glenister #I will not be shamed into silence on the fucking that old man website

[todayisafridaynight]

sorry that im obsessed with him <- is not sorry

#snap chats #this is my favorite cutscene in the game it has everything i want and need #i love that first screenshot so much......... top ten frames of ryo aoki ever #i want an aoki photocard of it wahhh hes so cute and pookie </3 #i also like the hand detail we see int he second one....... very nice.... #i love this cutscene cause he gets deadnamed live and thats still the funniest thing to ever happen in rgg to me #'sir youre trending theyre beating your ass in the qrts' DO NOT CARE THAT I MADE THAT JOKE ALREADY. I WAS REAL FOR IT #anyway hes sooooo cuute sorryyy thats my truth #he just looks like a little lad <- hes 43. or wouldve been (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) #every time i remember the game being like 'ryo aoki is young as hell to be doing this bullshit' i cakcle #maybe he just /looks/ too young yk... round faces be damned you will never look older than fifteen #i still stand that he constantly looks lke he got a frog in his mouth #oh but. Genuine Appreciation Time it is very cute how this cutscene starts with him lit so well and then just. Dark LOL #VERY OBVIOUS AND EASY SYMOBLISM BUT I DONT CAAARRREEE i always live for it #anyway he cutie patootie awwww i wanna pinch his cheeks and then shove him back into a locker

[critterpdf]

the high today is 43 F (~6 C) so as you can all imagine. im already thriving

#my art #self portrait #artists on tumblr #illustration #i dont fit any of my old winter clothes from when i lived here last :sob: help #also the heater thing is a half truth. i mostly know how to use it i think. however. #i need to unpack all the boxes near the baseboard heater or. you know

[cashmere-caveman]

sometimes someone will reblog my "silver lied in the finale no idea abt what tho" post and their tags all full of #flinthamilton angst and i just really am forcefully reminded that even though we all watched the same show . we did not in fact watch the same show. like yes their affair is basically what set the whole plot in motion and i really love thomas as a plot device but i do have to confess that idc abt thomas as a person at all lmfao

#like i wont stop u from making the finale abt flinthamilton thats ur right go crasy go silly etc but to me that is just not whats happening #thomas being there or not is abt whether or not silver is lying about this particular detail it is not abt unburying ur gays #like. to me at least #idk how else to put it but thomas being there is not abt thomas. it is abt flint and madi and silver and The Narrative #it is abt silver trying to pay off flint with the same thing he sold this war for: a partner #and he is telling this to madi who did not want this about flint who also did not want this #so theyre both making eye contact and are waiting for the other to either flinch or turn back into a person who loves them #its driving me insane. like ur taking a moment as fucked up and genius as this and u decide this is abt colonizer romance #like im not even getting into the fact that imo flint has progressed so far in his ideological journey that they wouldnt see eye to eye #bc woodes rogers is flints mirror but wr is also what thomas mightve become and ur telling me hed happily settle for That? #ok no i'll stop here i need to go say the litany against getting mad online 10x (getting mad online is the mind killer) #black sails #cavetext #once again. live ur truth!!! more power to u!!! but if u do that on my post where i can see it i will inevitably have opinions i fear

[icewindandboringhorror]

I have a big google doc thing where I keep track of media and stuff (putting everything in loosely ranked categories), which is mostly just for my own reference so I know what tv shows I've already seen before, etc. and I never really look back through it, typically just a quick "okay, watched two movie in the past 8 months, need to quickly slap them somewhere in the lists. okay. done. save document. exit". But today I was actually reading through some of the old notes and there are like... MULTIPLE places where my comment is basically "It would have been good if it were about elves" or "I wish there was a fantasy show made in this same style" or "It's well made, but I just keep thinking about how I would like it more if everyone was an elf or was in old 1700s costumes" or etc like...... lol.... Most biased media ranking system on earth blatantly made by someone with an extremely hyperspecific range of narrow interests. It'd be like if a food reviewer only had 5 foods they actually liked, so they'd just go to a pizza place and be like "eh, the pizza was okay, but I just think it would be better if it was cereal instead. :/ ...2 out of 10"

#Which.. I mean... I am allowed to be biased because literally it's just for my own personal reference (or occasionall #y to send to friends or something if we're discussing the topic) so like.. nowhere am I saying 'I am the god of perfect taste and these #rankings are objectively the absolute truth and everyone should have my same opinion' or anything #BUT still.. it's funny to me sometimes #'Succession would be 100x better if it had the same cast/character quirks and shaky camera style and #acting choices/weird dialogue and general concept etc. EXCEPT it takes place within an elven noble family or something #managing the family business and everyone is in fantasy costumes now'' like.....okay...... but it's NOT that way..soo... thats not the show #''I like the acting style/general tone of Fleabag but i don't care for any of the characters or any of the subject matter and I wish it was #set in the 1800s and had vampires and was about magic instead'' okay..... again... you are making up an entirely new show in that case lol #OR my other beloved typical complaint ''The concept is good but theres too much plot and action and not enough people just sitting #around doing nothing and exposition dumping world and character lore'' ''this needs more goofy sideplots and filler episodes'' #''this Drama was too dramatic I think it should be more lighthearted & people need to sit around doing nothing just being weird more often' #''the Action Movie was ok except for the action scenes - which I skipped through all of- but I liked the costumes and worldbuilding'' etc. #ERM sorry your plot has too much plot. also elves have to be included somehow. bye #BUT SERIOUSLY!!!!!! I literally genuinely believe that any show I like (or even dislike) could ALWAYS be improved greatly by #putting people in fantasy or historical costume/setting/etc... why the FUNK would I want to see bland jeans and cars and cell phones #when I could see elaborate velvet cloaks and fantastical landscapes and interior design and innovative takes on historical or #magical technology or etc. etc. etc. I LIVE in the modern day. I see it all the time!!! BORING! stinky!! boo!!! #ANYWAY... another social divide for me.. People love to bond by discussing media. which is hard when I'm like #'I literally will not watch something at all unless it fits into one of these 10 extremely specific categories which are all i care about i #the entire world''.. I say this and yet I still dislike most fantasy or historical things I've watched lol. ok TWO main criteria then!! #it must 1. be in a different world or time period. 2. be goofy silly. Nothing ever has BOTH. It's always overly serious boring drama action #fantasy/history stuff OR it's comedic lighthearted but with modern day characters... WHY.. anguish and woe and so on.. #ANYWAY jhjnk... at least I can make that divide. Some people seem to project their own personal preferences and get really emotionally #defensive if you say you didn't like something - as if the fact that they DO like it is some Objective Truth or something rather than just #opinion/preference based. I can still easily say ''this is well made/well written/acted/good in a technical sense/has a lot of #points of appeal that most people would be drawn to/etc'' and admit that it's a GOOD show probably. I just PERSONALLY think its #bad because my tastes are very narrow. Some things ARE actually made badly but. things are not bad INHERENTLY just bc they dont suit ME lol #Better to recognize/accept whats odd about you and be peacefully aware of it than just being mad at everyone all the time for not fully #agreeing with you even when you're the one with the Weird opinion in that case lol.. I am right though :3 but.. lol... still. i get it

[edge-oftheworld]

maybe hot take but I actually think close my eyes is sadder than wfttwtaf as a whole. like wfttwtaf as an album could be reflecting on a moment of crisis, spiralling from the shock of getting back from holiday and realising you feel so behind in everything youre trying to do that you don’t ever know if it’ll be okay and it just reminds you of everything else that’s going on—ending with a song about how you can face it, how you’ve been doing the same thing again and again but expecting different outcomes your whole life but now you’re aware of it (with the implications that maybe you’ll try things different now). even diamonds is a testament of survival; I’m so much older than I ever though I would be; of your worries coming to nothing, it was always going to be fine in the end. even mum is the victory of actually reaching out to someone who can genuinely help for the first time, letting them in, not worrying anymore about making them worry for you but deciding that doing what it takes to survive is better and to stick around for them you’ve gotta let them help. but close my eyes is just ‘I regret my entire life’ and I genuinely don’t know how to put a positive spin on it

#it’s like efyts grew up and the moments of breathing between gasping were forgotten like a dream #they locked all the doors and hid all the keys for so long that when the doors eventually rotted away you were so conditioned to never leav #that you never did. and you think this is what life is; you’re used to it now; until the distractions are over and you can’t hide from the #truth when you’re trying to relax for sleep #I genuinely don’t know what to say about this song. I love it of course. but I would pay a lot for it to never have existed to begin with #to never need to exist. for anyone. like this is why I campaign for the right to autonomy for all; all of my life #the amount of respect I have for Luke and everyone around him is insane. but the amount I want to scream you don’t have to live like this #close my eyes #boy ep #wfttwtaf #luke hemmings #5sos #5 seconds of summer