#but anyways yeah. money amiright? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kurenwe · 25 days

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I’d love to hear more about him actually

sorry for replying like 3? days later i have no excuse i just literally forgot 😭

also im sorry for yapping so much

Anyways yeah so his name is Ilya Morozov — previously Matthias Lyon (a whole lotta running away from your old life and creating a new identity going on with him), when he was younger his mother died from illness so he grew up with his father for his teen years. If we’re continuing with the basic information and stuff then he’s 27, believe it or not, he works as an attorney despite literally just being bad at his job he’s somehow not fired (money) (wow… such a cruel society we live in am i right), he is a bisexual man with no preference, and he likes the scent of apples! How fun! That’s not really related to anything nor basic information because i doubt people add their favourite scent in profiles but we ball 😼

When he was younger he was super into rock bands and loved the whole style and music in general, thus, his first ever crush was someone who fit into that style specifically, anyways that not really anything important. All of this just inspired him and eventually, he had this huge dream to be in a band and become some big musician! Which seems nice! If only he was actually good at music. Which he was not. Cleary. But that didn’t stop him from joining some whole ass band with his friends, which they didn’t exactly mind as long as he was just standing there. Doing nothing. Which really defeats the whole purpose of being in a band!

Anyways im kinda yapping a bit so yada yada or whatever stuff progresses he falls in and out of love, like a lot, he had a really rocky love life like falling in love with a buncha people so he could probably make a whole page of a list of his exes which is super fun amiright yeah. wow. Also besides the point, actually one of the, was actually one of the band members — Katheryn Byers, which isn’t really important right now but I’ll come back to her later.

Since I’m sort of speaking wayyyyy too mcuh ill skip to about like after he (barely) graduated, despite everything he showed no signs of backing down from his (unlikely) dreams as a musician all of this and other factors, not gonna go into too much detail about how it all happened but he got into a huge fight with his father, and reallllyy injured him in the process, (kudos to the glass bottle), long story short the father developed memory loss, he used this to basically disown himself by just making his father completely forget him which i dont know how to explain but he did it…

Long long long story short again, he got bailed out for attempted murder, with the help of this guy which i am not going to go into detail about because ive spoken enough, helped him literally move away, proclaim his old identity as dead and create a new one!! Also thanks to him he got a job!! how kind!! (which explains why hes so bad at it)

When he was younger he used to be this kind of pushy, determined but also kind of meek in a way, as time went on, based on the people around him (since he felt he had to change his entire persona to be liked) he became a whole lot more like some typical angsty teen like he grew to be a lot more aggressive and had a lot of bad influences, did bad things, all that stuff. This attitude pretty much remained until he had pretty much gotten a whole new identity, new year new me, you know :3 Now he’s sort of some loser man who really wants to give back for all of the things he’s done, like he just feels super guilty. My man even turned to god, all he wants to do is be forgiven. And tell people corny jokes. Fun!

Actually something pretty ironic is that he ended up really wanting to raise a child for his own, like as some sort of way to give back or something, kinda just funny cuz he literally has a child he doesn’t know about (throwback to Katheryn Byers) (Who is currently a single mother, resents Matthias/‘Ilya’ and the only thing she knows about him is that hes proclaimed dead. Which he clearly isnt.)

jesus christ ive actually written si much im sorry 😭

he was inspired by a lot of people to be honest, design wise and personality wise, not really backstory wise i kinda just made wthat one w him if its not obvious enough. But yeah grew up in france, currently residing in russia, works as an attorney and would have been fired already if it werent for certain sources, failed musician, stupi didiot, makes stupid jokes

the fur parts he wears on his wrists arent actually even apart of his coat they’re just bracelets, he really likes fur. Wearing it. I guess i could say he does like it too but yeah. On his fingers he wears a buncha rings, one having initials of both Katheryn and him, mattias era, because that was pretty much his onky serious relationship (literally all of them broke up with him since he was too clingy or just annoying), he also has this stupid gold head band thing on his head 👍👍 i dont really have any inspiration for that i just thought his head was too plain and didnt want to add a hat

Anyways yeah I’m not sure what else to say about him I’ve said enough… hopefully… hes also a proud husband of my friend @/avendingmachine (/j) But yeah hes just a loser who regrets everything hes done and wants to forget his past life!! silly

goodbye freak nation im sorry for writing so much

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lazywitchling · 3 years

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[button tapping noises]

So a theme I keep seeing in these witch books is 'make sure your intent is specific in your spellwork, otherwise your results may be inaccurate'.

[shanks a Deku Baba]

And I agree with that to an extent, but not in the reasoning why. The infamous Skye Alexander book said that your 'hidden agendas' might 'interfere', which is like... a hard disagree. (But it's Skye, and you all know how I feel about her and The Book That Would Have Been Yitten From The Window Had It Not Been A Digital Library Book.)

[flips open a treasure chest and takes a pause to sing along with the Got Item song]

But I'm also noticing is how vague a lot of these books are. I have a whole paragraph in my notebook where I'm screaming at Skye because one of her money-drawing spells starts off saying 'If YOU need more money and some quick cash and you have bills to pay off, then THIS SPELL WILL... bring you abundance, but I'm not gonna say what kind of abundance, because tbh abundance can be anything and you really should be grateful for what you have instead of wanting more more more, amiright?'

[snipes a few Skullwalltullas and starts climbing vines]

So my theory on these things is that these books published in larger distributors have a reluctance to make any promises about spell results. Obviously they don't want you to return a book because 'I tried the spells and none of them worked!' (Which, tbh, on the Mythbusters principal, IS A RESULT. Write it down and figure out why not. Try it differently. Write it down again.) And if they're vague enough in their promises, e.g. "This will bring you abundance of an undefined nature", then when your neighbor brings you over a loaf of friendship bread, you might be like "Oh, my spell worked!" even though you definitely did an abundance spell expecting money, not bread.

[attempts to shank a Skulltulla but gets hit by the spin attack]

Fuck--

[shanks it with better timing]

So back to the original point. (Caution: UPG ahead) Yeah, I agree that you should have a well-defined intent/goal/purpose, it's not because I think that your Secret Hidden Agendas will Get In The Way. I've had some very vaguely worded spells work exactly as I wanted them to (See: sticking two pennies under a candle and yelling 'GIMME' to get a raise). But I think that if you're vague on your goal, it's easier for you to trick yourself into accepting weak spell results.

Wait I think I missed a chamber. [backtracks]

See, with that penny-candle spell, I did end up getting a store gift card, and I thought "Oh shit, was my spell so vague that I got this monopoly money instead of the raise that I wanted?" I saw that gift card, I wanted my spell and my magic to work, so I did a little mental gymnastics to make it work.

Does spell for a raise > Get a gift card > Retcon my own spell to have been for Money and not for Raise

So then I repeated the spell, saying "GIMME A RAISE" instead. And then you know what happened? Do you know what happened? I got two raises. One, followed by a second one about a week later.

See, I didn't have to do the mental gymnastics to make my spell work, because my spell was already working. But I really really wanted to see results, so I convinced myself that my spell was so vague that the results were inaccurate. In initially casting the spell, I didn't have to say 'gimme a raise' because I knew that this spell was for a raise. I was confident in that. But then when I let my confidence waiver, I almost accepted a vague result.

[leaps from a ledge, through a web, into a pool of water]

Anyway. What am I saying? Know what you want, sure. When you see results, ask yourself 'Is this really a result, or do I just really really want it to work?' Analyze the results you got. Write them down. Was it exactly what you wanted? Great! Was it sort of what you wanted? Figure out why. Hit your spell with a wrench. Figure out what's wonky. Try it again, but different. In this house, we don't accept spells that only kinda work if you squint at them and tilt your head a bit. We pop the hood and figure out wtf is going on in there.

#lazy witchblogging #jes vs witch books #lazy spellblogging #witchy meta #in this house we also overtag things because I don't know where Future Me is going to look but I know she's gonna look SOMEWHERE #be specific in your spells and vague in your tags

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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 3 years

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Into The Unknown, Part 9

First

It was kind of weird how quickly they got acclimated to civilian life.

Sure, Marinette often came out of the day with way too much energy, but they could burn off most of it by sparring. A ten to twenty minute session a day (excluding warm ups and cool downs, which added another thirty minutes or so) was enough to maintain their physiques and get rid of the uncomfortable energy that came with the sudden loss of constant danger in their lives.

(Not that this Gotham wasn’t dangerous, but it was… markedly less so. The Rogues Gallery didn’t exist in this world, what with Batman not existing, so the only thing that they really had to fear was mob activities and the occasional mugging. As long as they kept their noses clean and never stopped to tell a person the time, there was no reason for them to be scared.)

Other than that… it was almost too easy to get used to the new life that they lived.

Marinette woke up first in the mornings for work and would take care of Damian while she got ready. Tim had baby duty for the nine hours a day she was at work and commuting, so it was the least she could do.

And, really, he wasn’t all that difficult now that she was starting to get the hang of the whole baby thing.

Damian was trying to mimic her -- anticipatory socialization, she was pretty sure it was called (Or was it imprinting? Observational learning? Damn it, her psych major was not coming through for her right then). She found it cute and it was completely normal so she was perfectly fine encouraging it: she had gotten him mini versions of all of her makeup brushes.

One time, though, this backfired on her: he had dipped one of the cheap makeup brushes she’d gotten him into her makeup when she wasn’t looking and applied it to his face.

Marinette glanced down -- he had been quiet for too long, never a good thing -- and gasped. “Dami, you can’t whitewash yourself!”

Damian looked up at her, eyes wide with confusion.

She tried not to pout because he might take it wrong. Why must her best jokes always come to her when no one was around to hear?

“Don’t touch the powder stuff, please. It's not for babies, it's for grown ups.”

Damian frowned and looked down at his brush. She gently took it from him and worked at getting the makeup out.

When she gave it back to him he still seemed a little sad.

She sighed and gave him a short hug. “I’m not mad. I promise. It’s just… not your color!”

(The real reason was that makeup is very expensive, but kids don’t really understand money so she needed an excuse.)

Damian was still a little pouty. She didn’t know what to do. Damn. She supposed that served her right. She shouldn't have dared to think that she was getting the hang of having the whole ‘having a baby’ thing.

She sighed and looked down at him for a few moments, thinking. He was sitting in the high chair they kept him in when both of them were too busy to hold him. Usually he would be swinging his legs back and forth like a toddler -- probably because he was a toddler -- but now he was remarkably still, green eyes wide as he looked up at her.

She glanced at the time. Damian had woken her up early that morning, so she had extra time to get ready…

Marinette pulled her phone from her pocket and checked the internet.

… hm. Makeup could be toxic to babies. Good to know.

She grabbed one of her makeup wipes and scrubbed it from his face. She’d make sure to tell Tim so he could look out for any rashes the kid might get.

Then, she pulled out a comb and started brushing the tiny curls on Damian’s head. There wasn’t much, so it was mostly just dragging against his scalp, but the kid seemed pleased so she kept doing that for a few minutes.

At one point, he tried to take the comb from her. She allowed it, figuring he wanted to try and brush his own hair, but then he reached for her.

She leaned down to take him out of the chair, she was mostly done getting ready anyways, but instead he started trying to brush her hair.

… oh.

She felt, strangely, like crying. Her kid -- sorry, this kid -- was just so cute.

… but she didn’t want to mess up her hair...

He made a vague whining sound and she was weak.

She could always fix her hair on the train or something, she supposed.

She hesitantly leaned down so he could brush her hair. “Fuck it? I guess?”

“Fuck it,” Damian said, giving a short nod.

She groaned internally. “I’m actually going to have to stop swearing, aren’t I?”

“Fuck it!” Damian said again, louder this time.

Her lips twitched. “You’re so right, Dami. Who cares about a few little swears?”

“I do,” said Tim, who was apparently standing in the doorway.

She yelped. She probably would have flinched away if Damian hadn’t managed to make a giant knot in her hair in the few seconds that she had let him touch it.

She turned and sent Tim a weak smile. “You’re up early.”

He rolled his eyes. “Please stop teaching him swears.”

“I mean… it’s kind of funny, though.”

“It’s not.”

Marinette groaned overdramatically and turned to look at Damian. “He’s such a stick in the mud, amiright?”

“Sti-in-mu,” Damian said, nodding.

Tim huffed. “I’m starting to think he likes you better.”

“As he should,” Marinette said. She picked up the baby and nuzzled her nose against his. “Who’s a smart baby? You are!”

Damian giggled and tried to nuzzle her back.

Tim hummed as he went around the apartment, sweeping the floors. He and Marinette had come to a kind of unspoken agreement: he would do the cleaning, and she would do the cooking. It was only fair, since Tim’s standards for cleanliness were higher than hers and she was the only one out of the three people there that was physically capable of cooking an edible meal.

(Yes, he was aware that he was comparing his cooking skills to that of a baby. It was accurate, okay?)

Damian crawled along after him. He was trying to help, Tim was pretty sure, swatting the floor behind where Tim was cleaning...

Tim smiled. Maybe he should get the kid some fake cleaning supplies like Marinette had done with all of her makeup brushes. Would he like that? Only one way to find out, he supposed. He found the grocery list and wrote it down.

When he turned back to where he had left Damian -- which, he reminded himself, he shouldn’t be doing, because the kid was surprisingly fast when it came to trying to get himself killed -- and found the kid…

Holy shit.

He was walking.

Tim watched with a bright smile as Damian struggled to his feet and took a few steps towards him.

It didn’t last long. Damian had only really managed about three steps before he fell back to his knees and crawled the rest of the way. But…

Tim made a slightly embarrassing squealing noise in the back of his throat and leaned down, scooping the baby up in his arms and hugging him close. He couldn’t seem to wipe the smile off of his face.

“Look at you! Walking! Oh my god! Oh my god oh my god oh my god!”

Damian was blinked up at him in wide-eyed confusion.

Tim leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the top of the kid’s head and refused to pull back until he had calmed down a little.

He smiled down at his younger brother, who looked delighted at the attention but also very confused as to what was going on.

He looked around until he found Kaalki, who had been on his phone doing… horse things? God things? Who cares?

“Please tell me you took a video of that.”

“Nope. I did get a picture of you kissing his forehead, though.”

Tim huffed a little. “Delete that.”

“Too late. Already sent it to Marinette.”

Even this wasn’t enough to dampen his mood.

And Tim knew that the fact that Damian was walking had almost nothing to do with him, but he was proud, damn it. Or maybe the better way of saying it was that he was happy for the kid? He didn’t know, he had always been terrible with emotions. It was a good emotion, though, that much he was sure of.

He kissed Damian’s forehead again and smiled when the baby giggled at him and reached out, smushing his cheeks in his hands.

“Hello,” Tim struggled to say with the baby hands pressing in on his face.

“Nano,” Damian said.

“Close enough,” he said. “Want to watch some TV to celebrate?”

Damian nodded vigorously. Tim wondered, vaguely, if the kid understood what he was saying or if he just kind of gave answers when he knew that Marinette and Tim were asking him things.

Didn't matter. Tim would put on that one weird show with the talking cat that Damian liked and they could watch that until Marinette got home.

And, when she did, she practically ran over. She didn’t even take off her shoes, a sure sign that she was excited.

Damian looked away from the TV and smiled. “Mar-ree.”

Marinette’s mouth dropped open for a second… and then curled into a bright smile.

“You’re so… cute!” She cooed. “Yes! Hi! Good to see you, Dami!”

Tim pouted, slightly jealous.

She seemed to notice because she stuck her tongue out at him. “You got to see his first steps and I didn’t. I deserve this.”

He disagreed. The pout on his face remained until Damian saw and twisted around in his lap, leaning up and wrapping his arms around his neck in a kind of hug. Because it was kind of hard to stay sad when he was doing that.

He hugged the kid back for a few moments and then drew back, planting a kiss on his nose.

Marinette hesitated.

“Can I… have him for a few minutes? I want to see him walk.”

Tim considered this.

Then he smiled. “Only if I can take a video.”

“I would have made you do it, anyways,” she said.

Tim chuckled softly and handed the baby over so they could take the video.

She slipped into the apartment after a long day of work.

Tim was fluffing the pillows, apparently out of apartment to clean.

Damian looked up from the pillow he was hitting at the sound of the door clicking closed, and he seemed to light up. He grabbed Tim’s hand with one hand for his attention and pointed at her excitedly with the other.

“Nano! Yanzur! Mar-ree!”

“Yeah, that’s Mari,” Tim agreed.

Marinette flexed her feet now that they were out of the god-forsaken heels that she had been wearing.

“Hi, Dami. How was your day?” She asked.

Damian didn’t understand the question and certainly didn’t know enough words to respond, but he seemed sated by the acknowledgement of his existence. He slowly slid off of the couch and started his way over to her.

Marinette smiled faintly, amused. She looked over at Tim while she waited for him to get to her.

“So… he told you to look at me, that I get… but what is a ‘Nano’?”

“That’s what he’s calling me now, I think,” Tim said, slightly flushed.

She blinked. “That… isn’t even close to your name.”

“I know,” he said, shrugging helplessly.

Her lips twitched. “Maybe he’s calling you short.”

Tim threw the pillow he had been fluffing at her.

She let it hit her -- it was a pillow, it wasn’t like it would hurt -- and then stuck her tongue out at him. “Don’t blame me! I’m but an innocent bystander in this! He’s the one that did it!”

Damian tugged on the fabric of her shirt. She looked down, a grin still on her face. He made grabby hands and she obliged with ease, picking him up and nuzzling her nose against his.

Then, her eyes sparkled with mirth.

“Tell me, Dami, is Tim short?”

Damian looked between the two of them. Marinette was nodding and Tim was shaking his head vigorously.

“... shor!”

Marinette burst into a fit of giggles while Tim groaned.

“I hate you.”

Her amusement didn’t die down in the slightest. “Oh, if you hate me, then I guess I’m only making food for Dami and I. Hope you didn’t eat all the leftovers for lunch today...”

“Wait, Mari, let’s talk about this --.”

~~~~~

@unoriginalmess @hammalammadamdam @astrynyx @laurcad123 @927roses-and-stuff

#the nano thing is an actual thing that happened to me #i still dont know how my sibling came up with that #my real name is even further away from nano than olivia is #into the unknown #maribat #timinette #timari #timmari #shutterbug #tim drake #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #red robin

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in-tua-deep · 3 years

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Ok I totally want to hear more about this survivors au/Delores is real! How do the siblings handle having this different version of Five? Five may be better adjusted but he still has to heard his family around like a bunch of stray cats. What happens when Hazel and Cha Cha show up? How do they find out that Vanya causes the apocalypse and how does Five handle that revelation?!

here is the thing, i think the survivors au has the potential to be HILARIOUS

no one knows how to handle a well-adjusted five, and this absolutely includes the commission

So you mentioned Hazel and Cha-Cha?? Five in this au was not nearly as absolutely feral as he is in the show bc he knows how to interact with people - he was raised by a competent adult and a weird best friend and they occasionally saw other survivors as well

please picture old Five hanging around the water cooler and chatting with Hazel

the other funny thing is that Five is competent passing - he is well adjusted emotionally but functionally?? Hazel is out there complaining about dental being cut and office parties and budgets and Five is there sipping his drink having never filed taxes in his life. Five doesn't know what the fuck a dental plan is, he was a child soldier and then lived in an apocalypse.

So please picture for me Hazel being like "okay I know corporate wants us to keep what we're being paid to ourselves but fuck that, workers unite, what do you get paid as a legend old timer?"

and five is like "you're getting paid? i get to not get tossed back into the apocalypse, I think"

"but what about expense forms? what about medical care?"

"I'm like 80% sure i'm being experimented on, actually." Five says nonchalantly, "Don't get me wrong, my idea of medical care is fucked by being a child soldier but I'm pretty sure regular people don't have electrodes attached to their heads every time they get a checkup. Could be wrong though! My ex-dad used to monitor my brainwaves while I slept so like, my idea of appropriate shit is fucked, you know?"

This is a Five who was raised by Rick, he is polite to his coworkers. If Dot asked him if he wanted to grab lunch, Five would have gone and grabbed lunch with her or politely said that he couldn't.

Cha Cha only ever talks to Five when she wants to talk shop, so they've had a couple of conversations about weapons but not much else tbh, Hazel just tends to be more personable

So when they're sent after Five, Hazel is much more hesitant to kill who he perceives as a "work friend" and also is definitely thinking about all the times Five casually revealed a way the commission was being highkey shady about him, such as the potential experimentation, no pay, working under duress etc. He's much more easily turned against the commission because he's even more primed to say "fuck the commission" than he is in canon

Hazel out here like "how did Five break his contract when Five wasn't even being paid? I kind of want to read it."

Hazel out here like "I would unionize if I didn't think the commission was anti-union enough to send literal assassins after me if I suggested it :/"

meanwhile with the siblings

Five just. talks over them a lot and makes so much sense that it's actually really hard to argue with him, and he's weirdly considerate of his family's obligations

Like Diego is like "i have to go see Patch" then Five is like "that's great I'm proud of you buddy, it would actually be really handy to have some law enforcement read into the situation if you think she's up to the task. that goes for everyone by the way! If y'all have people you trust, more bodies would be super helpful I think"

the entire family, collectively, who have like zero trusted social links: uhhhhhhhh

Diego, with this weird permission, probably?? Does? Awkwardly attempt to read Patch into the situation? Patch is, obviously, like "what the fuck, Diego" but probably goes with him to the mansion (????????) because she's concerned and then meets his fucking whacko family with their superpowers and suddenly everything is 100% more realistic

Five is just like "yes hello I'm aware I look like a child, i'm actually in my late 50s or early 60s (apocalypse time amiright) because of time travel stuff. Yes I am Five Hargreeves who went missing in like 2002 or whatever. anyway it's lovely to meet you, i'm so glad diego has someone he trusts, and considering my sibling's shifty looks when i told them to invite anyone they trusted this genuinely makes me concerned that Diego is the most socially well-adjusted of them."

"That cannot be possible." Patch says, like someone who has met Diego Hargreeves.

"You haven't met the rest." Five says sympathetically, "In our defense we were raised in isolation as child soldiers."

"That... explains so much." Is all Patch can say to that, "But you seem..."

"I'm adopted." Five waves away.

"We're ALL adopted." Diego grits out, very aggrieved by this and also not sure if he likes the fact that Patch seems friendly with Five, or at least is listening to him?

"I'm double adopted."

However! With the recruitment of Patch, herding Diego becomes like 90% easier.

Honestly the worst to herd are probably Luther and Allison? Luther because he's Number One and resents Five taking charge and also resents Five's casual dismissal of Reginald and also suspects that Five (or at least the commission) has something to do with Reginald's death?

Allison because she is torn between following Luther and helping him and helping Five but also calling Patrick and Claire at every possible moment while ALSO trying to repair her relationship with Vanya. She's flighty - she'd bail on a Five-apocalypse-assignment if Vanya mentioned being hungry or if Luther called or anything like that

Vanya likes to be included and, if asked, would probably drop as many current obligations as she can. Like she would probably cancel her teaching if Five genuinely and sincerely asked her for her help, which he does because he's 100% sure Dolores would manifest in front of him and smack him if he dared even imply someone without powers wouldn't be helpful

Vanya is like "I'm not sure if i'll be helpful - I don't have powers ):" and Patch is like "wtf are you talking about - my superpowers are Gun, Backup, and Reading Comprehension and i am like the most useful member of this team right now"

Vanya gets a confidence boost just from hanging out with Patch honestly, I think they should be friends

Klaus is thrilled to be included are you kidding?? He says he does it for money but he's just happy to be there and also as one of the most emotionally intelligent siblings he is mildly concerned about the fact that Five looks like he's about to cry and also emotes

Five also gives Klaus positive reinforcement, hugs, and Five absolutely weaponizes the I'm not mad, but I believe that you can do better and I'm going to give you more chances because I love you and fully believe that next time you'll be amazing way that Rick used on him.

I feel like Five ends up saying something along the lines of "I understand that x is really important, and we're definitely going to look into it. Is it something that needs to be addressed right now, or is it something that can wait until after April 1st? If it can wait, I can write it down here on this list so we don't forget. If it can't wait then we can figure out a time to address it and help you" a lot

Like Grace malfunctioning and potentially killing Reginald?

"We don't have to make this decision right now." Five says patiently, "Because Grace is a robot, we have some options. Living with a robot who is potentially malfunctioning and homicidal is dangerous, but Luther saying that means admitting that Reginald might have made a mistake or error with Grace's programming or upkeep. I haven't been here for a long time, but I remember Reginald being very precise. Regardless, this isn't a choice between permanently shutting her off or not. We can shut her down temporarily until we can fully address the issue. We can ask and see if there is a 'system reboot' option or some sort of system check that Grace can undergo. We can try find and hire an expert to take a look at her programming to find the issue."

Five gives this speech while like, organizing the weaponry in the house on a table very nonchalantly

Five out here making buzzer noises at his siblings arguments like "yeah no that's a false dichotomy and a strawman's argument, want to try again?"

(Look apocalypse nights were long and they had games that were literally about arguing pointless shit like ranking types of chairs or the best way to break out of a prison without powers and things could get heated)

"Who died and made you boss?" Luther demands.

"Uh, the world? Were you not listening?" Five asks, looking very purposefully confused.

It gets even MORE delightful when Five reads Rick into the situation because a) he promised and b) his siblings really have like, no connections jeeze

Rick fully believes that this is his son from the future, like Five introduced himself, but Five skipped out on a few key details. Such as being adopted.

So Rick spends a solid chunk of time just staring at Five, who looks basically nothing like him, trying to think like, who is his mother ???? if we save the world will Five stop existing? why would I name my child 'Five'? Does everyone have powers in the future? was there like... a radioactive apocalypse? would radiation give future humans superpowers? when did my life turn into a comic book? am i even allowed to ask these questions? will knowledge of the future fuck things up?

and then when Five comes back and is like "what is up everyone this is my dad Rick who will be joining us, he doesn't have any memories of me thanks to time travel but if anyone is mean to him i WILL kneecap them"

"Your DAD?"

Five does kidney punch Klaus for saying that Rick is a DILF but otherwise everyone just is like, warily looking at this Normal Dad Man in confusion because?? This is the dude who raised Five, who they watched take out like an entire commission team by himself yesterday? He looks so. Normal.

Rick is very confused and like, wonders if he's supposed to be the team mascot? But Five keeps involving him and asking his opinion and in return Rick enforces snack breaks and makes everyone sandwiches and has gentle talks with everyone

Every time Five notices someone about to blow he just lovingly makes sure that that person is alone in a room with Rick

Luther ends up crying on the sofa with Rick gently patting his back as Rick calmly states that Luther seems like he's put a lot of time and effort into his family and making his father proud and that since Reginald isn't here to say it, Rick will have to be the one to say that he's proud and that they've been dropped into a difficult and stressful situation - so soon after Reginald's death when they're still grieving! - and he's doing so well

Luther, experiencing unconditional positive paternal regard for the first time in his life: i don't know why i'm crying so much

honestly this is just a comedy of juggling the gang, having impromptu therapy sessions and discussions, investigating the apocalypse and the eye, leonard trying to meet vanya continuously and failing because she's constantly surrounding by family or rick/patch, the commission trying their best to bust up the dream team/isolate Vanya/kill or remove Five, while Hazel lives out his romcom dreams with Agnes and also says "fuck the commission"

#HUH?#survivors au #well adjusted five au #long post #far tua long #five recruits rick to be team dad #rick is DEEPLY confused #but he's the kind of person that rolls with it #dolores probably ends up tagging along as well on at least one occasion #dolores and patch bond #five pretends that dolores is a new sibling and not his dolores #five calls rick 'dad' and it messes with everyone else #patch is on team fuck-the-apocalypse(-and-reginald)#vanya is never alone so fuck leonard #five finds out that vanya causes the apocalypse and is like #vanya: HUH?#luther: maybe we should lock vanya up -#rick: are there are any other possible actions that might be more appropriate in this situation?#vanya: i could try get more meds to take and we could address the powers thing after april 1st #vanya immediately gets validated that reginald sucks #even luther who has had multiple conversations with rick is like 'dad... didn't always make the best choices...'#everyone: :0 #hazel doesn't kill patch so he probably joins team anti-apocalypse at some point #hazel: why are you a child #five: oh you know i'm young at heart and all that #OH forgot to mention one of the main differences in this au is that five like properly grew up this time #so while he is inconvenienced by his body he's not so deeply uncomfortable or angry about it #just resigned #'this might as well happen' - five #five probably makes jokes about it as well

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bmwiid · 3 years

Text

I need some help.

Not money! For a fuckin' change, amiright?

Anyway

Over the last 3 years I've steadily been putting on weight. And I know, meh, I'm 36 now! I'm in those middle age spready years I thought was a lie when I was 20?

But here goes.

I don't feel good. I try to convince myself that I feel okay and a little bit of weight doesn't hurt anyone and all the good body positive vibes I can.

More under the cut cause I know some people don't like seeing weight things / it can be triggering

But it doesn't change the fact I FEEL like I don't belong to my body.

It feels like I've put on someone elses clothes and they don't quite fit, but I can't take them off.

I've always been... unfit skinny. Like.... can't climb stairs without a heart attack but I wear a uk12 and I'm tall so it's okay, yeah?

Only... now I'm a uk18/20 and it's not okay. Everything is hard. Why is everything so fucking hard?

To make it all 100% worse - I've never been on a diet because I don't have the self control.

I've never worked out so I don't know where to start.

I've got the worst social anxiety so going out walking seems like an impossible task.

Is there a... "I live above a family with a young kid so I can't do loud workouts, I can't afford healthy food, I can't leave the house and I don't know where to start" fitness plan?

Everywhere I look it seems to be the same thing - people EXPECT you to already know how to do a push up, or be able to afford all the smoothies and supplements and have the self control to just not... binge?

Is there a way to trick your brain into wanting to do what you tell it? I feel really stupid because I honestly FORGET things. Like I forget I'm on a diet so I eat crap. I forget I'm gonna workout today. I also forget to do things like wash my body, brush my teeth and be a human most days so there is that.

I just.... I feel super horrible. I don't want to feel horrible. I want to feel... okay? like I'm not expecting to lose all the weight and look like Kim K because I kinda get the feeling most days she's not happy being Kim K either, but I'd really like to look at myself and feel... okay.

I want to be able to have a bath and not feel sick looking at my body.

I want to be able to run. Climb stairs. FEEL ALIVE.

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dramarising-replacement · 3 years

Text

The sequel to: Literally nobody asked for this and I'm doing it anyways This time as an update!

Why wouldn’t you be able to sell it? Some people like making money OP -yes, but that market would be too easy for rich players to exploit, so it's a no. while it could help so that newer players that get a good egg could possibly sell it for even more if the colors are matchy, i cant really think of a way to prevent it from just adding to gen1 only lairs with 1000 gems at all times.

I think this was supposed to be a joke or something. -somewhat! i know it would never happen, as it's complete bullshit that comes out of nowhere, but it was a semi-serious exercise in how to introduce mechanics to pre existing games. but yeah, mainly a joke, cause it's never actually going to happen, and i also dont really want it to.

Breeding eggs… What?- OP, tell me what u took last night -ambien, if i remember right. sure, technically i shouldnt have it, but parents know best amiright?

and yeah take nothing i have done seriously, assume i am either high or out of my mind.

why do people make overly long and elaborate site suggestions on FR drama sites and not, you know, on FR’s actual fucking suggestions forum -bc this is not an actual suggestion, its a fake one meant to have fun and maybe piss people off. i did not make that very clear in my post, sorry about that.

What a long way to say “I hate snobs”. -sounds like me! :)

The absolute irony of crying about G1 people being snobby while trying to make a dragon special by creating a subspecies is chefs kiss delicious. Nothing wrong with subspecies just that OP is talking out they ass. -i meant like. for lore reasons? yall make subspecies for pricing reasons? damn. i might have to change a few forum threads to lore-specific rq

I dont get why people gotta be so rude and downplay people’s disappointment:/ -im funny like that. and also a vindictive dick. but let's stick with funny.

Hey.. uh wasn’t A___ a regular normal user who had that luck cult form around them because they were pretty lucky their first week? They’re not just some ‘fanon luck god’. This should’ve been censored. :/ -shit, my bad. thank you for telling me! (this sounds sarcastic, but seriously, thank you.)

so this anon should support a way to make any dragon a G1 then, I mean I’d respect them if they did -thank you for the inspiration!

what about that egg i got from the coli and hatched myself on my birthday and it was a neat primal -you got a primal on your birthday from rng? congrats, that's really awesome! i wouldnt really say that other people getting primals now cheapens it, having a special day primal myself, but we're different people and all. congratulations on your special hatch!

do you guys have anything better to do lmfao -nope! rip me ig, but then again i'm a teenager w/ no job in a terrifying pandemic and maybe some people i know are dead of plague, which is a rather common experience now, so sometimes you gotta make long posts laughing over dragon games. it's fun and totally not unhealthy!

#Economy #Drama #Cursing #Sarcasm #Long post #Updates #Petty #submission

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trashbaggage · 3 years

Text

“Okay okay okay, new romcom movie pitch right? We focus in on a couple, y’know, your standard ‘pretty face little ditzy heart of gold’ and ‘charismatic hottie little dangerous secretly sweet’ yeah? And they’re y’know just doin their thing it’s kinda their honeymoon period after the big get together, very domestic, but then? What’s this?? a new friend (messy bench who loves drama) comes into the picture, bringing their own problems and kinda fucking up our main couple’s shit a little bit, shakin things up, throwin em off their rhythm. So now the main couple starts to fight, like really fight a bit, and you can see the cracks and imbalances in the relationship yeah? One’s feeling like the overly responsible parent type who just wants more stability, the other’s feeling pushed aside and not heard enough yadda yadda yadda. boom, BIG fight, break up, shit being thrown out windows, motorcycles destroyed, harsh words, you know the drill. So they separate and do their own things for a bit, but eventually realize they’re lonely and wish the other one were there and remember that new friend in the beginning? Yeah he’s brought his bonkers shit and turned it up to eleven (family issues, bad life choices, a new throuple that’s clearly not going to work out well) and our mains gotta apologize to each other and get their shit together in order to deal with it and show that they are the superior couple here. so bing bang boom you got a big confrontation at this beautiful church, really pushing that wedding imagery yeah? Yeah?? commitment is sexy. anyway, big church scene, main couple working through some issues (uh, an illegitimate kid poppin up? Crazy) and realizing they’re good together and so much more in sync with each other than hot mess dissolving throuple over there, a good give and take, a, a, a symbiosis if you will. and after really giving an earful to new friend, just really biting his head off about not making his shit everyone else’s problem, our main couple run off together into the rain, some talk about taking time together, maybe a romantic trip? and then we end on them on a beach somewhere saying i love you while the waves gently crash against the sand. So sounds good yeah? What more could you want out of a romantic comedy amiright??”

Ehhhh, I don’t think I’m quite sold on it —

“Did I mention the alien parasites, explosions, serial killers, neon rave scene, tom hardy’s weird fucking accent, a lil kidnapping a lil murder, two chickens named Sonny and Cher, and enough tentacle-like appendages flyin around to give even the most avid monsterfucker a moment’s pause to gather more lube? Cuz I feel like those are very important bits to this movie”

….holy shit. you big beautiful bastard you’ve done it again! take my money

#venom 2 #venom 2 spoilers(?)#guess what i just saw

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scoups4lyfe · 2 years

Note

SAIRAETFTAIGATQIBU, Vail Questions: So I think you were on the money when you said Vail is Genta's PTSD actually, since being a supersoldier guinea pig will do that to ya. It feels like it harkens back to Showa riders like OG Ichigo, who often were nonconsensually changed into superhuman warriors. Genta's demeanor change w/wo Vail is notable tho, even tho we only see a little. It seems like Vail is separate and independent from Genta at this point - how does that affect them? (cont.)

Yeah and I think it's important too to consider the names/titles of the Kamen Riders, because each of them have meaning.

Ikkis - Revice: How he has to continually (RE) deal with his Vice's (vice) because of his constant 'repression' mode.

Daiji - EVIL/LIVE: Daiji has to learn how to live his own life on his own, but since he hasn't had to do this before the only thing he notices are the traits that are EVIL within him because they feel more obvious. (Y'know, having to live with your inequities and all that)

Sakura - JEANE: ngl I didn't really analyze Sakura's whole thing, but the first thought I have was Joan of Arc

lol......coincidences....amiright?

But yeah idk as I said,,, didn't do much analysis with this, probably will later :33,

so for Vail/Veil

(though personally I think 'VEIL' fits more, aka 'to conceal or hide') anyways I feel like theres some meaning here :DD.....

SO yeah I can see Veil being like,,,,Papa-san's ptsd, but we also have to consider the fact that he fought *as* Veil waayyy back when, so it could've also been something similar to Kagerou?

Aka a coping mechanism to use when reality is too hard to handle

(I say this because Papa-san seems to forget what's happened when he's 'back to normal' so its entirely possible that VEIL was what he used to help himself cope with the experimentation and all that stuff)

#anyways those are kinda my thoughts #:33 #kronthescoup #my thougts #kamen rider revice #kr revice #ikki why is ur demon so cringe #revice #watching revice #revice spoilers #kamen rider #spoiler anon #asks #wtf bath 25?? hours #inbetween baths #igarashi siblings #igarashi genta

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slashingdisneypasta · 4 years

Note

Hello! Can I request a headcanon where the queen of hearts (1951), Maleficent, Cruella, Shang yu and Yzma (separated) take care of a lost (orphaned) little girl (like 5-6) and adopted her as their own. Thank!

These were sooooo fun to think of, omg XD I feel all warm inside, thanks for the request! I hope you like it as much as I do ^^

~~~

Cruella DeVille (You can imagine either animated, OUAT or live action Cruella, but I liked this gif ^^):

· Cruella, is more of a… fun, rich aunt. You know, when you can post the child back to its parents any time you like with a sugar high and new Xbox?

· But, as the capable entrepreneur and businesswoman that she is, she rises to the challenge of ‘parenting’, when the stinky orphaned girl living on the streets (You, obviously) show potential in the fashion industry.

· She takes you right to the adoption agency, picks you up and plops you on the counter like a pair of shoes and asks how much you cost. You just smile sweetly, like the most adorable munchkin ever despite the off way your new caregiver handles you, and the agent has some reservations, of course, but Cruella’s able to speed up the adoption process with her connections and her money.

· Your relationship at first is similar to Oswald Cobblepot and Martin’s. And if you haven’t watched Gotham, I’ll explain; Sort of distant, but the adult is trying at least. They’re just not used to having a pre-teen around. And, somehow, they’re making the child feel more understood and taken care of then anyone else ever has, despite both parties’ reservations.

· Slowly you bond (Over fashion, obviously) and Cruella turns into, honestly, a pretty good mum (For a villain who wants to kidnap puppies from her friend and make a coat for herself out of them, anyway). She learns to not gag when your shows are on the telly, she takes more time off work to take care of you and turn up to your school things (Like parent-teacher interviews, concerts, art exhibitions, and assemblies if you’re going to get an award- she even makes artful collages out of your work on the fridge), and you two even learn how to cook some easy dinners together.

· (Cruella can cook, I think, but I can imagine they’re more fancy stuff that a kid really isn’t interested in)

· You’re a two-person team kind of family.

· She doesn’t like you to be around Jasper and Horace because their stupidity and lack of fashion sense could be contagious.

· For the longest time, you just call her Cruella… until one day she says she loves you (Which is visibly difficult for her. Not because the words aren’t true, but because she’s not sentimental) and you finally call her ‘Mum’.

Maleficent:

· You start following her around, lost and having decide the scary green lady with a cute bird pet is the one to go to for help. She tries to scare you off, but of course you’re already scared anyway! But not of her- of being left alone.

· So you keep following her through the forest, until you reach her castle and Diablo has become attached to you and is sitting on your shoulder instead of hers, nuzzling your little face.

· She leaves out some food for you for dinner and lays a clean blanket down on an abandoned bed in a random room down a dark hallway. It’s a spooky night, in that creepy castle… but the blanket smells like grass and you find that if you close your eyes and smoosh your face into it, you don’t think about the things that could be hidden in the dark. Also, Diablo comes in and keeps you company.

· Mal is sure that you’ll be gone the next day. That’s why she was so kind. She was sure you were just a determined straggler and if she offered you a home for a night, then you would be the fickle little child that you are leave without so much as a thank you the next day.

· But you don’t leave.

· And you do say thank you, and even make her a mud pie outside the castle.

· She gives you a bit of a smile (Not soft, because Mal is still an evil fairy, but it’s a refreshing look on a face that had been pinched the whole time), resigning to you. You’re all alone like her. Maybe it won’t hurt so much to let you stay.

· Okay, as a parent, Mal isn’t so bad. She settles into the pace easier than Cruella or Yzma, at least, and her lifestyle allows for a far stabler childhood for you then Shan Yu’s. Plus, she’s outwardly very calm, which is a huge improvement from if you were living under the Red Queens roof.

· Distracts you with magic when she’s busy or just when she wants to watch the awe in your face as you watch sparkles dance around the room like real life stars.

· Keeps you away from all her villainy- you don’t need to be messed up in all that. Basically no one except her crow knows you exist and she’d like to keep it that way.

Shan Yu:

· Shan Yu finds you after he pillages your village (And you’re the only survivor) and you followed along behind his men for a while until they noticed you. Which didn’t take long, of course, they’re a group of highly skilled Huns in the ways of hunting and warfare.

· He uses his noggin (A very good noggin. Much cleverness) and identifies the favourable factors to having a little girl with them. You’re unassuming, for one, and can be trained (And moulded) to be used as a diversion for them in the kind of situations in which brute force do not apply and wouldn’t be helpful.

· He also acknowledges the need to train the next generation into their image to continue the Huns control over China even after he passes away. So, off on the quest to take over China you go, with them.

· He is so big, that you can perch on his wide shoulder and he’ll be fine still marching along.

· He gets a bit soft when interacting with you. At least, he certainly doesn’t treat you like an adult because you of course aren’t one. He encourages your childish wonder and your playing around. He’ll even play eye spy with you as you travel, or play a little tug of war if you get a piece of fabric or rope (Yes, like a puppy) and he’s just sitting down chilling somewhere on a rest break or at camp, pretending that the game is actually a contest until he smirks and tugs just a tiny bit harder and you fall forward onto your face XD (He only uses one hand the entire time)

· He’s a really chill dad, really, despite the whole… killing everyone in your village… First impressions, amiright? XD

· The rest of his men either hate you with every fibre of their huge beings or love you even more, and that’s the tea. One of them once rolled you up in a blanket and strapped you to a horse so you would stop annoying them by running around in front of the mules. You decide whether this was one who hated you or loved you. (Another came along and put a roll of bread in your mouth so you could eat, but didn’t release you)

· You’ve also been tied (Safely and comfortably, yes but still tied with your feet off the ground) to a tree as a time out and dropped in lakes (Once they knew you could swim) to calm your shit when you got hyper.

· You sleep in Shan Yu’s tent until you’re like 14 and declares that you’re able to defend yourself and can kill a man, so he can keep you safe.

Queen of Hearts:

· Goodness, who let this woman adopt? (Well, I mean, no-one could stop her) Even Hades would be better, and he tried to have a baby assassinated.

· This woman would be unintentionally manipulative towards this child (Like Norma and Norman Bates. Jesus christ). Whenever the kid doesn’t do anything that she wants them to, she’ll get p i s s e d, and that might legitimately mess with the kids psyche. She won’t behead the lil girl, of course, which I guess is bit of a saving grace (she isn’t that cruel) here? But it’s definitely a good thing the gentle King of Hearts is around, to settle the flames and calm down his wife and new daughter when games go awry.

· (And ya’ll play lots of games. Some of the time, living with her and her husband as your parental figures is a dream for a little girl like you)

· She does try her very hardest to be kind and not to lose her temper, and it is made so much easier by the fact that you’re an innocent little girl (Younger than Alice was), and she’s very fond of you. So, in a way, adopting you is helping her with her issues, and by extension, helping the rest of Wonderland.

· You get a big fancy throne-like highchair at the royal dinner table.

· Your little family is a bit or very messy, but you are never not loved. You always know that you’re loved.

Yzma:

· When Yzma takes you in, its because Kronk discovered your little form sleeping in an alleyway and ran with you in his hands back to her, and BEGGED her. This sweetheart (Kronk, not Yzma) could not handle the knowledge that a little baby girl was abandoned and all alone on the streets. And Yzma’s the most well-off, influential person he knows! Of course he’s going to go to her for help.

· When she finally gives in, its because you called her pretty. She’s just like… pause… “Seems like an intelligent enough… eugh… child... Kronk come! We have to disinfect it.”

· Kronk rushes after Yzma, still holding you and clarifies for you: “She means a bath.”

· So, now, you have your protective, psycho, affection-challenged mother and your sweet, dumb, beloved… uncle. Yeah, uncle. We’ll go with uncle.

· Yzma takes a while to get used to you, and she’s very defiant against getting called ‘Mum’ or ‘Mother’ (Mama or Mummy have a more youthful feel, according to Yzma.), but she’s pretty immature due to her psychosis so she tends to blend well with your child personality.

· You laugh so much, with her. Most of the things she says are hilarious, especially when she’s exasperated and mutters about Kronk.

· She doesn’t want you to grow up without a brain like him (Or to mix with other children- she will not be dealing with chicken pox or nits. If you did get either of those things, she would be living in a full-on hazmat suit and spray everything you touch, and you. Kronk would end up getting the sickness because he gives you lots of hugs and takes care of you while you’re sick or you have the nits) so she gets you a home school teacher.

· On your birthday (They do the day Kronk found you if you don’t know it), Kronk wakes Yzma up at the buttcrack of dawn drags her along to set up the day for you. Including a treasure hunt, where its clear that Yzma wrote the clues because its very translucent through the sentences she wrote that she didn’t have coffee before writing them. Very bitter.

· She does want to make you happy though and buys you literally the best present for a child of that time. I don’t know what it is, but it’s the equivalent for them of a little car or coloured TV (Like the Barbie or Hot Wheel ones) for us. She’s so smug about it, too, like ‘Shove that up your 4 layer cake with different flavours, Kronk.’.

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frecklef0x · 3 years

Text

Mass Effect 1: Playthrough Masterpost

At last, I have finished Mass Effect 1!

I have heard some mutuals say they wish they could play it again for the first time, and you kind of can--through me! I’ve been posting little “episodes” of live-tweet-stream-of-consciousness as I play, and now I’ve compiled them into one post to make my life easier.

Anyway, here’s the first one, the rest are under the cut. :)

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode one

My ass looks great in this uniform, first of all

Impaled robo zombies, yikes

Cheap shot, Saren, smh. How will I pass my spectre test now?!

Why does he have robot eyes? Is he like, Geth-Turian? Why? Is he a robo zombie also? Was it the beacon???

Cool beacon nightmares, I'm sure this is fine

This Kaiden guy has implants? ORTEGA?!??!?

"Call me princess again and you'll be picking your teeth up off the floor" lol obliterated

The citadel elevators are very realistic, five minutes of tense silence huh

Ya girl got a PROMOTION and a DOPE SQUAD time to catch a TRAITOR

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode two

First things first, gotta go find the blue scientist to join the gang

This galaxy is HUGE! How many of these places will I actually be able to go?!

Only two friends at a time????? D:

Ah, a distress signal, let's see wha--A DESERT CENTIPEDE NOPE ABORT ABORT

Robo aliens? In MY Theronian mining facility? Its more likely than you think

Running over dudes in my Mako is extremely satisfying tbh

*runs over geth troopers* *runs over geth armature* *runs over geth colossus* ... *backs over geth colossus*

Working elevators in the ancient ruins ✔

Oooooooh man hope this nerd is gay

Wrex, a friend of yours? Nope, not a friend, too murdery

"ShAaaAame about the ruins Shep, sOooOo much collatoral damage, SHEP" stfu Council, "ruthless" was in the resume when you promoted us, 10/10 would shoot lasers through archeological digs again

When Kaiden calls us "ma'am" I am, uh, into it

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode three

Time to talk to the gang! Gotta meet the fam proper

Oh dear seems we got a shmee of racism on board, compatriots

Wow Raina, good foot-in-mouth moment with Wrex there huh...sorry about the eventual extinction of your race, lost this round of Pain Olympics

OH SHIT OH SHIT BLUE HOTTIE BIGENDER? THIS IS NOT A DRILL???

“hi I’m Kaiden wanna hear about my last crush ;)” “hi I’m Liara wanna hear about Asari mating rituals? ;)))” damn we really slidin right into the DMs no chill

Garrus: fuck rules and red tape amiright Raina: oh u right ;)

Guess I’ll actually do a mission now LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO

Honestly rolling out with Tali and Liara is a mood, squad goals

Raina @ every corporation on Noveria: I would sell you to satan for one(1) corn chip

This reactivation puzzle is some shit

I see some Mistakes were made

We already killing moms at this stage damn BioWare

FUCK FUCK BENEZIA KILLED ME AND I LOST A FUCKTON OF PLAYTIME

THERES LIKE NO AUTOSAVE IN THIS BITCH FUUUUUUUUU

fuck fuck fuck god damn it gotta shoot a bunch of deranged baby bug people again god DAMN IT

Okay we killed Liara’s mom in front of her hope that’s fine

And we let mama bug go free because after talking to Wrex, Raina’s like “this galaxy is a little trigger happy with the genocide, good luck out there bug mama ❤️ be cool please”

I have literally watched the scientist in the hot labs get killed three times now

So far the debreifs with the council have not gone very well

“You let bug mama go?! How many generations until they take over everything???” “My money’s on two :D Place your bets now assholes or stfu :DDD”

Asked Liara if she was okay and she seems pretty Cool With It

I hope to one day return to Noveria and Death Star it into oblivion

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode four

Talked with Tali and this situation with the Geth and the Quarians is giving me an existential crisis

You “inspect” my beautiful ship? You got somethin’ to say about my crew??? Talk shit get hit, bitch I will kill you

Yoooo my old earth gang, yeah what the hell, I’ll help ou—oh nope nvm he’s a xenophobe, you hang him and I’ll shoot his friend in the face, thx for your time

Went to the citadel to finish some assignments, left tasked with twice as many

“dOn’T cUt CoRneRs” fear not dear Kaiden, I have a permit: this piece of paper that says I do what I want

Still with the elevators, I really cannot with this

“You make it all sound so...dangerous...” ;) ;))))))

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode five

Headin’ to Virmire to rendezvous with the Salarian team

A cure for the genophase?!?!?! :D

Oh wait oh no are we for real gonna talk about destroying the cure like Wrex isn’t standing right here omg

SHIT GUYS NO NOT LIKE THIS WREX PLEASE

Phew for a conversation that basically started with guns drawn, it went pretty well... “What Saren has isn’t even a proper cure, he’s just fucking with the Krogans at this point. Are we gonna stand for that? Or are we gonna murder?” “Damn Shep, you right, we gon’ murder”

Okay Ashley, go join the aliens, try not to die

Shadow Team!🎵 tearing through the base 🎶 disabling all the defenses 🎵 (you gotta sing it to the tune of the Trogdor song)

We free the prisoners!!! :)

We shoot the prisoners??? :(

“Raina? How can you shoot them where they stand?” So it’s more merciful to let them explode? NAH FAM

This scientist is responsible for the mind control stuff? For Benezia? Fine I’ll let her go but I hope she explodes

We did not learn our lesson concerning beacons I see

Wait if even Saren is worried about his mind control ship does that mean there are larger forces involved here?

Oh. Oh fuck

Ugh Ashley I EXPLICITLY TOLD YOU NOT TO DIE

(so we really never found any info about that genophase cure huh? disappointing)

Oh Seren, you dumb dumb. You absolute fool. Clown man.

When Raina slings Kaiden over her shoulder to carry him to the ship—mmmmmmmmwoooow I am very bisexual

Bruh Raina takes every council call and she disconnects pissed off every time

WAIT I literally just hung up with the council, ASHLEY is DEAD, and Kaiden needs a DTR RIGHT NOW?!?!? Boy, NO, READ THE ROOM

This has been a stressful day

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode six

Shepard will avoid her feelings and go to Faros instead

Seeing Ashley’s figure greyed out and her locker inaccessible makes me sad

Wrex and Garrus, let’s go shoot some geth 💪

A mind controlling planet—of course!

Shep gets all her renegade points shooting capitalists

Saved, uh, about half the colonists

If I have one more bad acid trip I stg

Oh nope here’s another one

Shep needs a nap

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode seven

Ah, the council. Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal.

At least Liara is good at pep talks ;)

Joker, you cockblock

Haha DUDE we airborne, you THOUGHT

Now that I am exiled from the Citadel, guess I’ll run some galactic errands:

o Killed corporate scientists who though we would rescue them lol

o Destroyed a bunch of geth camps helping Tali on her pilgrimage

o Disabled a nuke and killed some pirates

o Shut down some evil Cerberus experiments

o And illegally traded information!

Okay time to get back on track

So we may or may not be flying to our doom

OH GOD LIARA LOVES ME!!! RAINA, YOU DISASTER, YOU DID IT AAAAAH ❤️❤️❤️

frecklef0x plays mass effect: (ME1) episode eight

You know what I love? Being murdered by geth armatures

All these Ilos ruins be looking the same

Security panel is only kinda helpful

Oh, luckily I know Prothean now!

“CANNOT BE STOPPED” wow very encouraging, thanks

After that super motivating message and disabling security, its time to go down, down to goblin town

Vigil? Oh word?

My girlfriend is GEEKING out

I knew something what wrong with that fucking Citadel

Vigil: information is power. Also Vigil: What does it matter why they do what they do? All that matters is you stop them

“non-essential” personnel die first, huh? GROSS, VIGIL (gotta be honest that hits different in 2020)

Garrus gets it, I knew we liked that guy

Okay, find conduit, save galaxy, break millennium-old genocide cyle, nbd

Ugh Mako you gotta do me dirty one last time I see, I hate this thing

THE CONDUIT STRAIGHT YEETED MAKO

The citadel robot says we’re doomed : )

This shootout is SO fun, seriously

Saren get it toGETHER

Renegade Raina can kill with a conversation apparently, well done then

Concentrate on the Sovereign—why am I gonna save a council that hates my guts, sorry, but I have a JOB to DO that you ACTIVELY HINDERED

Great, zombie husk Saren, just what I needed as I mull over the possible consequences of my galaxy-altering decision

GO JOKER GO

Humanity-only council seems…questionable. Raina didn’t love the council but this sits wrong. Couldn’t we just appoint a more diverse council, including a human?

Anderson seems like a good enough dude, so…we’ll see.

TIME FOR WAR BOYS, GODDAMN WHAT A GAME

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coffeebeannate · 4 years

Text

Nate Watches Things: A Saga

Or in this case, one thing. One thing that was far too long of a thing, but such a bizarre venture that I felt rather compelled to put an actual review of said thing together.

Why? Because I can and because others HAVE to experience this..this journey. A nice lil journey called Die Pfeiler der Macht/ A Dangerous Fortune. And I watched it solely because Luca looks cute in Victorian clothes, and I was intrigued by the gifs.

Curiosity has always been such a great human motivator, eh?

And..guys. I just. I don’t know what the 3-4 hours (it’s two movies, and I took a couple days to watch it) WERE, exactly, but they were..a thing? I know that it’s based on a book by Ken Follett and that this production is German. Despite being based in England.

Oh, and Luca’s character Mickey Miranda, is uh, Spanish. Make of that what you will.

So the summary is this:

A shocking secret behind a young boys death leads to three generations of treachery in this breathtaking saga of love, power and revenge, set amid the wealth and decadence of Victorian England.

And no it does not do this thing justice whatsoever.

Review under the cut. It’s too long *again, two movies here*, and I took far too many screencaps of this absolute wtfery, and uh, it’s probably better suited for a real-time live blog but nah. You can have this instead.

Some images under the cut are NSFW because nefarious boning is a key point in this..thing.

SPOILERS. So many spoilers. This thing is a spoiler fest. The caps have a very obvious Luca bias, I know why we’re here everyone. Hehe. There’s also some triggering stuff in this thing, so be warned there too.

BEHOLD:

So, a point I want to make is that the costuming in this movie is LEGIT. If absolutely nothing else works? Note that the costuming absolutely does.

The opening credits are very nice, Luca’s very pretty, this cap serves purely to showcase that because I’m a very serious man doing a very serious review.

Pretty.

So the beginning is..confusing. We have a girl, Maisie Robinson. (Around 10-13 here?) Her father is very poor and it’s her and her two siblings. He works for a man who is part of our main characters, the Pilasters? and they run this bank. The head of the bank commits suicide, since they’re having financial troubles and he cannot repay his workers. He pens a note to his young son *under 12 at this point*, Hugh.

Hugh never finds out about this letter, but anyway. At the moment, it’s 1866. Maisie’s father was one of those employees. Destitute, he leaves Maisie to..raise her siblings, and goes to America.

We never hear from this man again.

Hugh goes to live with his aunt (Augusta/Augustina?), uncle Joseph, and cousins, Edward and Clara.

THEN IT’S 1877 (we jump ten years)

Maisie’s two siblings have died, and she has a daughter, Rachel now. Who is also dying. This movie is very keen on people dying. I’d also like to point out that there is like, endless plots all happening alongside one another, and it took me until mid-way into part two to even really grasp what the main plot is.

The movie has a LOT of bank talk as well. I cannot express this earnestly enough, there is SO MUCH bank chatter. SO MUCH. This thing does not have to be as long as it is but again, bank stuff.

Anyway, the one plot is that Maisie is from the poor area, she’s had a horrible life and has struggled from day one. She’s in a constant battle with Hugh, and they argue a lot. A lot. (They like each other, they met as kids, but they’re from very different worlds. Hugh has money, she doesn’t, but Hugh has suffered as well and basically it’s your normal class struggle social commentary thing).

Maisie and Hugh in 1866, as kids, after Maisie’s father left for America. This is the funeral for Hugh’s father. So that’s the theme I mean.

Anywho.

Back in 1877, this is Samuel *left*, Joseph *middle* and Edward. The Pilaster’s get marched into work like they’re freaking army Captain’s and not just rich ass bankers. Imagine saluting your CEO. At work. Outside of the military. WHERE IS THIS A THING? Maybe this was a thing in Victorian England I have no clue I’ve certainly never come across it in my studies. Ffs.

Anyway.

So while all this is going on, there’s this man that wants to marry Maisie.

And his name is,

(That’s Rachel, Maisie’s daughter). Anyway, Solly here loves Maisie and wants to marry her. But Maisie loves Hugh, and neither of them realize this yet. Solly is a himbo and we mostly like him, but stay tuned because that doesn’t stick. Sorta. Depends on how-

Nevermind I’ll just keep going.

ANYWAY, more plot.

Here’s Edward again, doing drugs, being gay, and overall..useless. Edward is..Edward is kind of like a person who would make an interesting wall decoration. Fun enough to look at, but utterly freaking hopeless, and useless, and so dumb. Just so dumb. This character is given the substance of ash fault. Kinda like, only vaguely solid enough to be entertaining. Kinda.

I don’t know guys, BUT LOOK!

It’s his good old pal Mickey! And he’s slapped Edward awake out of his drug coma (okay he grabs his face and shakes him rather than slapping but given how much slapping happens in the rest of this movie I think I can be forgiven) and he has PLOTS.

Mostly it’s his dads plot, but it’s a plot. A very devious scheme and he needs our favourite wallpapers assistance!

(Sorry Edward, but it’s true)

So keeping in mind that the ‘theme’ of this movie is bone-and-soul crushing sadness paired with periods of intense chaos and insanity that you never see coming, our plots continue to thicken.

What Mickey means here, is that Edward’s family denied Mickey’s father what he wanted *weapons deal*, and beat the crap out of Mickey in a carriage. But that’s fine that’s fine Mickey is not deterred! BECAUSE.

*sigh*

So.

OK.

This scene.

Remember what I said about how this movie goes from being incredibly boring to so off the walls bonkers without actually WARNING YOU that it is going to do this? Yeah.

Edward, you see, really does not ‘do’ women. He’s gay. He’s extremely gay. Edward’s mother wants him to marry Florence Stalworthy for idk rich people reasons.

So..Mickey. Uh. Mickey’s solution is..this.

What is this, you ask??

Fuck if I know.

Anyway, no, uhm. This is a brothel. So (not) pictured here (I can’t post the scene on tumblr guys we have a ban) is Edward on a couch across from mask-and-feathers MIckey and this tied down woman, with another woman who is not tied down. And this is Mickey..showing Edward..how to.have sex with women. Apparently. Sort of. His lesson falls very flat. It is not a good scene, Mickey’s ‘instructions’ get increasingly louder, and he at one point makes this noise that sounds like a Joker laugh.

It is...it’s something.

(Also note there’s some extremely uncomfortable, misogynistic name-calling on Mickey’s part here..so yeah).

Oh, and it doesn’t convince Edward. At all. IMAGINE.

Around all this time, the Hugh/Maisie/Solly plot is also ongoing. And that also encompasses bar fighting (bare knuckles boxing and wrestling I think? And gambling)

Hugh has gambling debt we’ll get back to this. (He’s also obsessed with getting Russian bonds into the bank, again, the banking plot losses me a LOT)

So meanwhile, Mickey meets up with Edward’s mother.

But why Edward’s mother, you ask??

Well. *sigh*. Something I didn’t mention earlier is that Mickey likes Ed’s mum. A lot. A lot a lot. Mickey wants to take that woman to town and then some, is a very basic way of me putting it and-

Fuck it. Mickey wants to bang Ed’s mum. BADLY.

(She’s not opposed either, at all)

So their little scheme here is that Ed’s mum wants Ed to take control of the bank, but with the father-in-law alive, that’s not going to happen. So they’re plotting to take down the next person in charge who would succeed said father in law, (Samuel) who is in a relationship with the secretary mentioned above, Michael.

Yes, another GODDAMNED PLOT.

(Samuel is fairly unpleasant like all of these people, so I don’t feel that bad for him. He also kinda treats Michael like garbage, and is called out for this by Joseph later in the movie)

So the scheme here is to get rid of the father-in-law, and get Ed married. Cake walk!

(Also, while ALL THIS is going on, Mickey’s got his own mini-plot about doing these things for his father, the weapons and stuff but we don’t actually find out about the main goal of that whole thing till the end, you’ll see)

Oh, and since we’ve not had a good dose of ‘WHAT THE FUCK’ lately, Solly proposes to Maisie with an honest-to-god Alice in Wonderland party.

Yeah.

Meet the Mad Hatter! He’s a guide, he says nothing. Other people are in costume too, but you know-I have enough caps as it is.

So anyway, Maisie and Solly get engaged, Maisie and Hugh meet up at some point and bang instead.

And while that’s happening, Edward is convinced by Mickey to marry Florence.

So he does.

Lookit this shit faced smug ass grin.

(Also ahead is Samuel again, and Hugh)

BUT THEN the bank finds out about Hugh’s gambling debts. So he leaves. Taking his cousin Clara (Edward’s teenage sister-at her insistence) to the USA. And just like Maisie’s dad, another man abandons her for the States.

So the father in law is still alive, so!

It’s murder time.

Perfect wedding time event yeah?

So Mickey murders the father-in-law. (He jumps on him, suffocates him with a pillow, gets caught by Augusta and then they do this..weird ‘tensely make the bed thing’)

Murdered.

And then, exactly five seconds or so later..

Nothing like some murder pre-boning with the dead guy two feet away amiright?

Anyway at this point I was just:

And yelling at my ceiling. Not pictured.

I was a Hannibal fan and I STILL went !?!?!?

END PART ONE.

Part two starts out in 1912, and then cuts back to 1882. So in this messy timeline, note it has been six years since part one. And Hugh is married now to Nora, an American singer, and Clara is older and pregnant. (Father is never determined, but he’s a married man and that’s why Clara didn’t stay)

SO the three of them are returning home. Maisie and Solly have a son, David, and Maisie is depressed and distant, so Solly is the one who spends all the time with David. He’s shown as a legit good dad and it’s quite cute watching them.

(The kids Hugh’s, btw, he and Maisie both know this, Hugh does not, it’s revealed dramatically later but we still have so many plots)

Edward and Florence are childless. Edward doesn’t sleep with her. Everyone knows this.

(At this point I kept asking myself when this would end, I cannot stress how LONG this thing feels at times)

So Hugh and Nora meet up with Maisie and Solly, and they chat and there’s more love plots, more bank plots and a masquerade party where at some point Maisie thinks a little girl at the party is Rachel (who died in the end of part one, sorry!) and there’s a fire and Maisie and Hugh make out and Nora and Solly are both upset and it’s a whole thing.

Samuel now does something of a side business that’s unspecified with Michael, and pregnant Clara is being persued by the only man who might be a good match for her (she’s not keen on getting married. But he’s also..really old.) PLOTS.

And Mickey and Augusta are..still a thing. And Edward being chlidless is becoming an issue. So what is the solution dear friends??

*BANGS HEAD INTO A WALL*

Why the fuck not.

Absolutely flawless! Eddie will NEVER notice.

SO with this plan in motion, Mickey sets out to seduce Florence, Eddie’s neglected wife. He starts in a church, and I have to admit, this one line he gives is quite funny.

“I don’t go to church.”

Cannot begin to imagine why.

Also, around this time is when we get the infamous scene about how he fcked the wives of the three men and then made the guys suck his dick one by one. I didn’t cap that since it’s in gif form, but yeah.

Hugh and Solly and Nora and Maisie are still having their love issues. And there is still bank stuff as all this is going down.

But while on his Florence quest, we see Mickey beat up a guy who was abusing a small boy, and Florence see’s him do this as well and:

He looks so baffled.

‘Me? GOOD? I really don’t think so.”

She’s also holding a baby, and he gives the infant this face:

“Eugh, what is that?”

He also finds her in church again at some point and comes alongside her like this:

”Sup? Whatcha prayin’ about?”

Anyway, while doing all this, he’s still having some issues. He needs Eddie’s signature for a bank transfer (for his father, his father’s plot is STILL a THING) and so it is time to seduce someone ELSE. This time it’s Edward. This won’t be hard. Edward wants him so bad you could probably see it from fucking space.

Mickey is well aware of this.(I don’t think it’s one sided either, he looks at Edward all wide eyed half the time, but he’s so manipulative it’s hard to judge).

Actually me right now tbh.

So that’s this followed by the infamous gif set.

Edward takes him up on it.

‘Come along my dear there’s nefarious boning to be done’.

Absolutely vital screencap below (which is the most we get anyway and I didn’t cap the line about the freaking signature because fuck plots over nice images okay)

Vital

Anyway Edward gives him the bloody signature. And then Mickey goes along to talk to Augusta. But at this point Mickey is very much beginning to unravel. His goal seems to be more centralized to finishing whatever long ass convoluted job his father has been making him do for the last six years (possibly more tbh) and he’s sort of done with everything.

And Edward see’s this exchange. Le. Oof.

SO! IN BETWEEN ALL THIS. There’s some party where there’s drama and then basically Nora..willing gives up Hugh so he can be with Maisie and Solly just..I don’t even know, single dad for life and all. Edward knows that his family has basically been doing shit all around him, and Mickey STILL seduces Florence. He has her meet him outside that night at two am and they get together, but when he’s with her he kinda has these doubts but she wants him anyway so they bang.

Yeesh.

AFTER that there’s Edward again, because Edward knows shit is up, Mickey goes to a room to grab a bag and see’s Edward there. He tells Edward goodbye, but Edward pulls a gun. Mickey just...drops the bag, tells him to shoot. Edward doesn’t, instead he turns the gun on himself and then Mickey shoots himself in a chair.

Yeah.

DEATH! SADNESS! REMEMBER-THIS MOVIE LOVES DEAD PEOPLE~!

At some point in all this, Augusta goes to her daughter, Clara, apologies for being an absolutely evil mother for her entire life and then the movie sort of begins to wrap up.

Maisie and David were going to leave for the States together, but David wants to stay with Solly, who well DID raise him despite him being Hugh’s kid. So Maisie and Hugh are alone and David lives with Solly and the Pilaster bank has discovered the ACTUAL FREAKING PLOT OF MICKEY’S DAD AND THE ENTIRE BACKGROUND THING. Which was this:

THIS DIDN’T NEED TO BE ALMOST FOUR HOURS, GERMANY.

SO Hugh lets the mob inside. We don’t see what happens after that, but Augusta comes in to tell Joseph Edward shot himself.

Lots of sadness.

So the movie ends in 1912, with David and Hugh meeting up. David never saw Maisie again *she’s deceased now, as is Solly.* they talk, there is some moral lesson or something about love. The goddamned end.

OOF.

SO overall?

I don’t know.

It’s a movie. It has a script and plot and..it was put on screen? The costumes are legitimately amazing. They might be the best thing about this thing. But it REALLY feels like Ken really wanted to make a movie about banking, noticed that’d be boring and tried to make it spicy.

It’s so bizarre. So depressing. So many people are horrible. So many bad things happen. So much slapping, so much weirdness. There’s nothing happy in this thing. Not one. The so called ‘good’-ish ending falls flat amongst a sea of depression and I re-iterate, IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE SO LONG.

I distinctly recall lots of clock watching at times, wondering how I could POSSIBLY have more to go. It then goes so completely off the rails that you just don’t know what is happening and it’s just WEIRD.

At times that weirdness makes it fun, but overall it’s really not great. I probably would never rewatch it, and I can say that it’s an uh, experience in movie-watching.

A good one? I don’t know. But an experience, none the less.

#a dangerous fortune #nate reviews things #nate reviewing #look don't expect coherency here ya'll this thing is A TRIP #long post #too many screenshots #am i legit posting this thing at quarter to four in the morning #yes because i dont want my drafts to eat it askjdnkas #i'll just rebagel later in the day if needed ok

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steve0discusses · 4 years

Text

Yugioh S4 Ep 26: What the Hell is Glued to Valon’s Ass?

Well guys.

I should preface--since it’s effecting the voice I have in these recaps quit a bit--I’m still in quarantine and losing my entire mind. So, I took a break from making a whole lot of content because I actually can’t judge if anything I make is good or funny right now. I think it’s a weird consequence of making just so many decisions navigating things I won’t go into. tl;dr, It’s been ridiculous.

And so I’ve only really been on twitter, and it just so happens, that there’s been a bunch of really insane and juicy art fights going on that have kind of ramped up in insanity the farther LA goes into the red, (since most of art twitter lives in LA since art twitter is elitist as hell, which was it’s own very spicy art fight), but one of the most recent ones was...I kid you not...about if it was possible to make cannibalism ethical...and I threw my Wacom tablet out of the freakin window was like...y’all. I’m done.

I’m done!

I DON’T KNOW HOW ART TWITTER WORKS. At all. I don’t know what the people want!

And I was like, I need to look at something that came out before this epidemic. I just need this and so we’re back to Yugioh. I have no idea if this post is any good, because again I can’t judge my own abilities anymore, and I probably sound very very salty, and whatever, but at least I’m not talking about freakin cannibalism in the middle of art twitter. At least I got out of that mess, amiright?

I can’t get worse than cannibalism. I can’t get worse than certain people at the top rungs of art twitter that are absolutely going to eat somebody at some point in their life and I don’t really want to be a part of that club nooooo thank you.

Like Yugioh is pretty effed up, and I will eat these words (just the words) but I’m pretty sure we’re not going to venture into cannibalism.

So anyways, I had to read my own recaps to catch up with what is even happening, and so for those that forgot, like me--Everyone is sort of standing in the middle of the road in San Fransisco and there’s a bunch of orcs everywhere.

Seto is still in denial. Maybe he just assumed Roland threw out a bunch of hologram projectors all over San Fransisco and so there’s just...monsters everywhere? I mean how prevalent is his hologram trash?

We barely even have parking, why would we have hologram projectors everywhere, Seto? San Fransisco barely has HOUSING. Even when Google Glass was a thing, we only whipped those bastards out at parties for the gram. They weren’t actually USED.

Somewhere in like...the grossest park in SF, (like there’s a light pole that’s tipped over? There’s weeds everywhere? No playground equipment? What is this?) Valon and Joey are...throwing cards at eachother. Not much to say about this interaction other than Valon is going to be in a robot suit the entire time, and no you did not miss anything, I just don’t go over the cards here, and...that’s his card schtick--he gets in a robot suit and punches you in the balls. That’s it.

(read more under the cut)

Speaking of getting punched directly in the balls, Mai is still on the hunt to murder Joey Wheeler, because that’s how she’s decided to work through her trauma. Just kill a completely unrelated person to the one who actually gave her the trauma in the first place. Sounds like American politics in 2020.

I will say, it is nice that we have a consequence to the Marik season and a little more depth into Mai, I just wish we had more of an explanation of how she jumped this far other than “I dunno, man, Orichalcos.”

Anyway, she sees the Bat signal and was like “Valon, you had one job”

Bro brings up that Mai seems hella jacked now and like...yeah...It has to be a real workout to do a bunch of wheelies all day on a heavy motorcycle. Go for it, girl.

Valon’s robot suit has robot vision, by the way, and it’s extremely 00′s UI.

mmmm just like Samus Aran.

Can’t have a Yugioh show without beating up your protagonists for a good while. At this point in the series, just comparing trauma of one character to another, you’d think Joey would be the one with trauma that makes him murderous as hell. Instead, he’s remarkably one of the most stable people here. Especially compared to Valon, who is this strange hypocritical broken record of “you gotta let Mai make up her own mind” while doing his very best to manipulate Mai.

If they had both left eachother alone, then Mai would have been way more likely to come back to her senses, just throwing that out there. Valon was a guy who latched on too much, and Joey was the guy who didn’t latch on at all--she needed a good in-between guy. A good in-between guy over the age of 21. It’s a shame that this type of guy does not exist on this show for her to hang out with.

So Valon flashes back to the moments directly after he introduced Mai to his dad (Dartz) and Mai got possessed with Oricalchos powers.

After Mai refuses to join the team, she joins the team and directly kills Pegasus. To which, she was like “Oh yeah, I don’t actually have any personal agenda against this bastard. He’s just some guy who kills other people, this is just normal vigilante work.”

And so Joey decides he should share flashbacks, since that’s what we’re doing now, and we get a slight retelling of this scene in S1.

In this retelling it’s different because the hanky was actually holding the money card. This was not how it originally went, the card was given separately--but they had to do SOMETHING to make that hanky make some sort of sense, so it...has a card now.

That’s kind of the Yugioh solution to every problem, actually--just put a card on it.

(EDITORS NOTE: OK so apparently, actually-turns out the hanky DID contain a card originally in S1 but I just hella forgot--and normally I’d change this to reflect that but like my mind is full of quarantine spaghetti, so I’ll just leave it as is for posterity because I don’t feel like rewriting anything.)

What IS it though?

Don’t think about it too much, but what IS that?

On the other end of town, Seto remembered that if he spends too much time with these people, they might accidentally mistake it for friendship.

So...Seto Kaiba joined them so he could take back Kaiba Corp with the team, and then just...forgot I, guess. Maybe he got the munchies. A shame to be Kaiba, San Fransisco has NOTHING open past 11 PM except for bars. It’s not really like New York, SF sleeps really freakin good.

So now that Kaiba’s gone, Rebecca has to guess his password.

She’s supposed to be some top tier hacker but she doesn’t have a program to test these permutations for her? Whatever, girl.

And then, out of no, where Tristan had a panic attack.

Mom friends have to do that some times, they have to carry the guilt of their stupid children. But TBH, I kind of forgot that Tristan exists so it caught me off-guard.

Hey I kid you not, I went back to art twitter for a hot second, and there’s this person I follow who is very popular because they’ve drawn this one ship for I want to say 20 years--and they generally make very pretty art. And they recently drew their shipping pair on a set of matching toilets--facing eachother without any bathroom stalls--and they’re just...poopin while looking at eachother. I just...

What Is Going On With Art Twitter!?!?

I need to retire!!!

I don’t understand anything at all going on outside my bedroom, y’all.

I mean I guess I fell for it, I did click the image to see it in full--just in case it WASN’T a picture of them pooping but...no....that’s just what it is.

I need to delete my twitter account.

Anyway, stay safe out there, it’s a mess.

here’s the link to read these in chrono order if you’re bored and you just don’t want to go outside today, I get, I’ve been there, been doing that.

#yugioh #ygo #recap #photo recap #episode recap #yami yugi #seto kaiba #joey wheeler #tristan taylor #mai valentine #valon #still don't know valons last name sorry #rebecca hawkins #mokuba kaiba #s4 #ep 26 #oh duke was here too

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1ddiscourseoftheday · 5 years

Text

Thurs 5 Sept 1/2

“Happy release day everyone, exciting stuff!”

Too right Louis! Kill My Mind is out and it's awesome and the world is all over it, hell yeah. KMM hit the charts high and climbed all day, hitting #2 on iTunes and getting great press, with LTHQ going hard on the global focus.

He did the first of many radio appearances, notably the Indie House Party spot, genuinely the Louis interview of DREAMS, a full hour of real music talk and respect and Louis just relaxing and talking about what he loves with someone knowledgeable and smart who takes him seriously as an artist, I'm... overwhelmed. And Louis playing music for us? Please just give Louis his own radio show I want this content always! He also did an earlier show, played the rom com game, fun stuff but no room to get into it sorry highlights below. The Notebook still isn't a rom com though, where's the comedy? Someone needs to talk to him and Harry about that.

MTV calls KMM "bigger slicker and rockier than anything he's ever done", and talks about his note of intention, Rolling Stone published a write up and tweeted about the song (as does Rob Sheffield, "KMM is the No Control sequel I did know I needed"), iHeart says "think LBD and No Control vibes with an Oasis twist," Euphoria calls the song "a new age Britpop banger that'll shine even brighter in a live setting" and Louis "your new Britpop icon," he got a twitter moment, Power Radio UK is gonna play the song hourly all weekend, and the Comic Relief breakfast footage is finally dropping, teased today and out tomorrow.

Louis says the song is about experimenting when you're young, fun nostalgia, and looking back at being juvenile. He says it can be read as being about a toxic relationship but mostly that it's about going through an experimental phase in your youth and doing things that might not be good for you but are exciting, about "... uh... being naughty" (it's at least in part about drugs like yeah I'm saying it. It is and you know it, fight me, and also who cares, it's not a big deal.) He says, "the next few songs I have coming out represent me as an artist," "this is the most comfortable I've felt musically," "this is the vibe from now on," about the song being loud and in your face, "as promised!" and that he is "proud and excited"- yeah! Us too!!

He thanks the fans more times and in more ways than I can count but yeah bunches of tweets, radio mentions ("they're smart yeah?" *taps head cutely*), re: the fan project of a BILLBOARD IN TIMES SQUARE (can you believe?!) he says, “so fucking incredible,” he did a thank you video, and a final tweet to finish out the day "even if I don’t always see you all I feel your presence and your backing" and signed off by saying fuck fandom factions with his emphasis on how much he loves ALL his fans.

An Arista release about KMM calls TOU “the first single off (Louis') album” and Louis said today that he wouldn't be playing Miss You in Madrid- he said he will play five new songs not counting KMM yiiiikkkes and OMG. He says he will be covering one of the songs he deleted on the radio show keep or delete game! (But not the Arctic Monkeys one so that narrows it down to what like three? My money's on the Libertines) (FYI I hope yall know I'm taking that day off just getting that out there now.) About the 1D ten year anniversary he says, "we should do something for that." And yeah what about those guys? Let's be real, we need a special section for this; he's talking about Harry. He's saying his name and casually talking about communicating with him! Asked about being in touch with the boys- he said he "saw Liam most recently," that he talks to him on the phone, that he hung out with Niall at Glastonbury, in fact he really gets into specifics and details for them both, exactly when and where, and then he says he hasn't seen Harry in "a while" but "I've been in contact with him recently, it's proper nice. Proper nice." Okay okay... by nighttime radio slots we had progressed to chatting about Harry's hair. He's asked about Harry's new haircut looking like his and he says, "I'll be telling him that yeah," and later, "I'll be sending Harry a text about his hair." Listen NBD right ....unless maybe you've been force fed a narrative of them not even being friends anymore for years. So are we seeing an end to that nonsense? HELL YEAH bring it on! A good start, KMM cowriter Jamie Hartman casually dropping the factoid that KMM was recorded at Shangri La, yes, the same studio where Harry was holed up to taking all those shrooms and recording HS2. Louis also named Japan as where he'd most like to go on tour, lol. Not mentioned once today: Eleanor or Freddie. I mean why would you mention your girlfriend during a whole radio segment about rom coms and romance amiright? Mhmm. I'm not saying we've heard the last of them but it definitely wasn't a focus today.

The lyric video exists and is cool and I don't have time for it but it shows him dressed as Liam Gallagher onstage, cute, and tells the story of a couple meeting at a Louis show and in the end smooching by a, uh, lighthouse. Maybe we'll have time for video analysis in full by the weekend? Let's go girls!

Finally, when promo was done for the day he parked himself on twitter to see what was up- he responded to a fan teasing about the Real Madrid shirt- “beaut shirt tho.” It was beautiful, the rainbow especially. He defended his height, ("to be fair he's a tall fucker"), says he liked Florence and the Machine, thanked Rolling Stone and various others and a few other things.

There were also lots of pics look go check a UA or something I'm done for I mean I also left out so much interview stuff and you all saw all this anyway! Whatever! Goodbye! Goodnight to Louis only THANKS FOR THE TUNE

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fuckcanontbh · 4 years

Text

confessions in plain sight *stozier*

So this is for @ceftali in @stoziersecretsanta gift exchange! Sorry if this is late for you, but it is officially two hours into Christmas for me! This is my first time writing these characters so I apologize for any OOC-ness that happens. This is also my first contribution to the fandom, I hope you enjoy!

Note: bold lettering is Richie’s handwriting, words in [brackets] are actual song lyrics. Does contain swearing.

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The sun beat down on the group, water dripped from their hair, and despite everything huge smiles were on everyone's faces as Mike told a story from the farm. Today was the first day of summer, so all of their backpacks crowded the space as well. Soon enough the group would be dry enough to get dressed and hang out in the club house until dinner time.

"Look, all I'm saying is that half of the problems in horror movies could be fixed if the characters weren't such idiots. I mean, really? If you see the murderer, why would you scream so he sees you?" Eddie's voice was the only noise as the group headed down into the club house. "Y-yeah. But you have to t-th-think that it's for dramatic e-effect. The character's can't always have a s-s-satis-satisfying ending." The group's leader argued further with Eddie, the two of them continuing their debate in a corner of the clubhouse.

"You're actually going to be starting school with us next year, Mike? Maybe now you'll actually believe us on how crazy school can be! All the stories we've told you about Richie and Bev are true, and Richie told me he's got some crazy stuff planned for our senior year!" Ben's excited voice came from another side of the clubhouse, Mike and Bev sitting in front of him on bean bags the group had added when winter made the ground too cold and hard to sit on comfortably. Stan watched all of this happen and then his eyes fell on Richie, who was unusually quiet as he sat in the hammock, reaching into his bookbag for something. "What are you looking for?" Richie jumped at Stan's voice, but quickly pulled a comic out of his bag. "Nothing but the newest X-Men comic, Stanny my boy, you'll never believe the kind of shit Storm cooks up this time!" Stan peered down at Richie, but the boy's grin seemed genuine so he shrugged and sat down, looking over Richie's shoulder. ~ "Alright, we'll see you tomorrow! Meeting at my house at four, right?" Beverly had already made her way up the ladder, but Ben was still waiting for an answer from Richie and Stan. "Haystack, you know I'll be there. Can't let your mom miss me too much!" Stan's hand reached out to smack Richie before he could stop it. "Tell everyone Richie has been uninvited." Ben simply laughed at their antics and shook his head as he climbed out into the little bit of sunlight left.

"We should probably head out soon, did you want to come over for dinner?" The blonde stood and brushed imaginary dust off his shirt and khakis. "Uh, hell yeah! Mrs. Uris makes the best food around here! Don't tell Ben I said that, his mom's cookies are good as hell." "Yeah, yeah. C'mon Trashmouth, I think mom is making meatballs and spaghetti squash." ~ Stan's house had been Richie Tozier free for about thirty minutes when Stan noticed Richie had left his bookbag next to his bed in his haste for dinner. The zipper was mostly undone and everything was one trip away from being all over Stan's floor. The boy rolled his eyes and bent down to zip it up when a small notebook caught his eyes. The book itself was simple on the outside, but it looked like a bunch of random things were also stuck into the book, making it thicker than it needed to be. It also looked like it was almost full, a slim part of the back of the notebook was still flat.

"Just leave it alone, Stan, it's none of your business." The boy brushed his teeth and put on his matching blue and white striped pajamas before climbing into bed. Minutes seemed to drag on forever before Stan stopped fighting himself and turned on his lamp before he grabbed the notebook. "It's probably just some dumb jokes Richie's thought of...or maybe some songs he's working on?" ~ 'Science HW due Thurs 28th' 'hang out after school @ quarry' '[Somewhere I'd never ever known, right at the back of my head, it hit me like a flashlight lighthouse beam of light]' ~ "Seems like it's just somewhere for him to put all his thoughts. Wonder who the song's about..." With the idea that the book was just a glance at Richie's mind as it worked a mile a minute, Stan continued reading. ~ 'Bev is the best!! girl offered me smokes even after i had to convince her skipping mrs. hepburns class was a good idea.' 'FUCK BOWERS' 'Math HW due Tues 4th' '[Cause you talk to me and it goes over my head...]' 'operation: get haystack the girl of his dreams walk her to class!! maybe walk her home sometimes? don't offer too much help bc bev hates that! write more of his sappy poems' 'gotta stop with the your mom jokes, not funny anymore' 'why is history so boring? REMINDER: ask ben to explain' 'start saving money-no more big spending at the arcade' ~ Stan scoffed at the thought of the curly haired boy giving up his favorite past time. "What's he even need to save money for anyway? He's already gotten that truck of his." ~ 'work @ 12-9 sat, sun and @ 5-12 mon, wed, fri' 'do i have an "it" factor? don't wanna miss out on making my mark on the world.' 'i don't even think he knows he does it. soft little smile on his face when he gets to a difficult problem, who does he think he is???' 'ma and dad fought all last night again. big bill asked what was up but i didn't want to talk about it. comedy is a good distraction' 'work @ 12-9 sat, sun and @ 5-12 mon, tues, wed, fri' 'glad i saved up some money, had to buy groceries again. ma's getting real bad again. haven't seen dad in a few days.' 'can't believe i got lucky enough to have such good friends. billy invited us all over for a horror movie marathon, ben and bev were put in charge of snacks. seems operation: get haystack the girl of his dreams is in motion. good for him! now if only i could get bill, mike, eddie, and stan lovers...' '[you've been on my mind boy girl since the flood]' 'ma passed out on the couch last night, guess it's a good thing i'm a lot bigger now. carried her to bed then went for a drive.' 'i swear he gets prettier the more i look at him' 'haystack just told me he scored a date!!!' 'HW due wed 18th' 'dad came home last night. got a good earful from him. maybe i should just stop talking? not like i got the nickname 'trashmouth' for something good. wonder if anyone would even notice' 'taught myself how to make chicken alfredo, actually got ma to eat with me.' 'i think i'm gonna tell him' 'nope. not gonna tell him. there's no way it would end good. out of all of our friends he's the least likely to want me' 'they say it is better to have loved and lost than never to love at all. but then it's 2 am and all you can think about is him, and you know he isn't thinking about you' ~ Stan snapped the book shut and quickly shoved it back into Richie's bag, thoughts flooding his mind. "Who is this boy Richie is crushing on? Is it Eddie? Eddie does yell at him a lot...and they have a bunch of classes together." "I didn't know things had gotten so bad at home. Mrs. Tozier used to be a saint.." "Is Richie okay?" He couldn't pin point why, but as he clicked his lamp off, Stan's chest hurt, but before a tear could escape his eyes he rolled over and pulled his covers up to his chin. ~ "Hey Rich, you left this at my house last night." Stan held the bag in-between them, his eyes refusing to meet Richie's, his chest still tight like the night before. "Stan the Man! My savior, got some important goods in here!" The blonde's eyebrows raised, finally looking at Richie's face just for the boy to look away quickly. "Can't lose my comic so soon now can I?"

"My mom made cookies!!" Ben walked into the living room, plate piled with chocolate chip cookies in his hands. "Ben Handsome, you are nothing if not the son of a saint, if you know what I mean." Richie dived for the plate, one cookie already in his mouth and three in his hands.

"Beep, beep, Richie!" Eddie scoffed and bumped the boy's shoulder, taking one cookie from Ben's plate. Stan watched as Richie's shoulders deflated, and the brunet ate his second cookie much slower. Before he could say anything Mike and Beverly's voices took everyone's attention towards the TV.

"We're not doing more horror movies, we did that like two weeks ago!" Beverly was swatting at the movies in Mike's hands, trying to reach across him to put her VHS into the VCR player. "She's not w-wr-wrong Mike. Let's just do the Disney marathon." At Bill's words Mike sighed and gave in, backing away from the TV so suddenly that Beverly fell forward slightly.

"Did you see that foul play my good man? Foul play I say!" Richie nudged Bill just to be shrugged off as the boy grabbed a cookie and moved to sit on the couch. ~ "I think I'm gonna go ahead and head home you guys. I'm getting one of those notorious Tozier headaches." Richie stood behind the couch as the credits to Bambi played, bookbag slung over his shoulder. "Yeah, yeah, bye Richie." "See ya, Trashmouth." "I think I'm gonna head out too, gotta help my mom clean up a bit before my aunt stays with us." "Dang, bye Stan." "Have fun with that Stan!" ~ "Hey Rich, think you can give me a ride?" The boy nodded and started his truck, hurriedly throwing a couple things behind the bench seat of his truck.

"Only the best for a prince, amiright?" If Stan didn't know better he'd say Richie's ears had gone a little pink. His truck started and he pulled out of Ben's driveway onto the road.

"Are you actually getting a headache Richie? Cause if not, I wanna talk.." His hands gripped the steering wheel a little tighter but Richie put on a smile and glanced at Stan.

"Always knew you could see through me. Don't know if we can have this conversation without your mother though, she wanted to be the one to break the news."

"Oh shut up asshole." Despite his words Stan felt himself smiling as Richie snickered.

"I just want to say I'm sorry first. Because I shouldn't have pried. But I thought it was just gonna be stupid stuff. Maybe some black mail material."

"Wait, you read my fucking journal? Stanley that's fucked dude! I would never do that to you. I can't believe you went through my bag. Guess straight cut Stan isn't as honest a man as I thought. Dude, what is your problem?"

A red light had stopped them, and Richie was able to look at Stan in the eye now, his brown eyes angry, but also coming off as slightly panicked.

"Look, I really didn't mean to get into your heavy shit. I thought it was just gonna be full of those little doodles you do in class and some new song lyrics. I didn't read too much of it Just a couple pages, maybe three tops! It's just got me worried about you."

"What did you read Stanley? Worried I'm sick? I can't really say I'm surprised." Brown eyes rolled and he clicked his tongue as he pulled forward.

"Sick? What- no. I'm worried about your mom and dad."

"You know that's none of your fucking business. We're just fine at the Tozier residence. Nothing has changed, Went works all the time and Ma takes care of the house. Don't start talking like you know anything about them. Get out of my car, Uris."

"Rich-"

"No, I said I'd give you a ride home, and here we are. The Uris residence. Go help your mom clean up and figure out how to stay out of other people's business."

Stan sighed and hung his head as he got out of the truck, only turning his head towards the street when Richie sped off, a cloud of smoke following him. ~ "Beverly, I really messed up the other day." "Sweetheart, Richie is known for the theatrics, don't let it get you down." "Yeah, Stan, that boy is like a rubber ball, he'll bounce back."

A shaky hand worked it's way through blonde curls, brown eyes bounced around the room, landing on Bev sitting in the window smoking, the radio sitting next to her turned down quiet enough for them to talk over, and Mike sitting criss cross on the bed.

"Stan, what even happened? I have never seen you this worried over some little fight with Richie."

"Look, I know it was wrong, but I accidentally read his very personal journal." Stan cringed as he said the words, already feeling Mike's eyes on him when Beverly whipped her head in his direction.

"How do you accidentally read someone's journal man?" "What did you read Stan?

Mike and Bev spoke at the same time, and Bev's cigarette was out before Stan could explain.

"Look, he's just got some shit going on at home, and he doesn't want to bother us with it...andIthinkhemighthaveacrushonEddie." "What was that last part?" "I think he mighthaveacrushonEddie." "Stan, breathe sweetheart we aren't gonna yell at you." "I think he might have a crush on Eddie and I'm not sure why I'm upset about it."

Mike and Bev shared a knowing look over Stan's down tilt head, Bev's eyebrows raised in a silent question that Mike answered with a nod.

"You may be one of the smartest most oblivious person I've met Stanley Uris." "You've had that boy wrapped around your finger since you became friends in second grade." "Guess you just didn't realize he had you around his finger as well."

Mike's words stung at first, but when Beverly pointed out who Richie's crush was, Stan's face lit up like a light. His cheeks dusted with pink as he met their eyes.

"You're being serious. Fuck, now I've really messed up. He thinks I hate him!" ~ "This is such a bad fucking idea. He hates you right now Stan." With a sigh the boy threw the first stone at the second floor window. It took three stones for Richie Tozier to open his window, and only one glance to see Stan before he was retreating again.

"Wait, Richie! Please, I just want to talk. Can we go for a ride?" Stan watched with bated breath as the shadow at the window hovered another moment before it retreated.

"Called that one."

And then Richie was climbing down the siding of his house.

"Be careful! Why didn't you use the front door dumbass?" All Stan got in response was an eye roll and a thumb pointing to the car in the drive way, Went was home.

"Oh." "Yeah, oh. Let's go. Been itching to go somewhere anyway." ~ The only sound in the truck was the two boys' breathing and a soft static from the radio. Stan swallowed air and watched as they passed the movie theatre.

"Look, I really am sorry. I just want you to talk to us more. You're acting like some shitty parenting is where we draw the line, have you completely forgotten that fucking clown?"

"I know. Sorry for being a brat the other day. I just don't like people to see that stuff, I have a reputation ya know? Comedian first, dumbass second, and softie never." Richie turned left, leading to the outskirts of town.

"Yeah, wouldn't want to ruin this perfect "class clown" persona you've got going on."

"Stanley Uris, did you just use air quotes to describe my entire personality to me?"

A chuckle escaped Richie and the truck air suddenly felt much lighter. "You're a lot more than that you know. You're more than some shitty but perfect timed your mom jokes. We keep you around for a lot more than a laugh." "What else am I good at Stan? All I do is mouth off and tell bad jokes." Brown curls came down from Richie's bun as he shook his head, leading the two of them past a sign asking visitors to come back to Derry.

"They may be bad jokes, but they still make us laugh. You're always the first one to put aside time for any of us, all we have to do is ask. And- stop shaking your head. Who took the time when we were all younger to listen to Eddie explain which of his inhalers were for what and how to administer them? Who learned how to cut hair just to help Bev save money and keep it trimmed? Who helped Mike shear the sheep when Spring started just so he could hang out with us sooner? Who practiced endless tongue twister with Bill to help with his stutter? Who did all that? Richie Tozier did. You give us everything and never expect anything back. All I wanna do is give back. God knows you deserve it."

"Hey now, don't bring the big man into this conversation." Despite the levity of what he was saying, Stan could hear the tears on the other boy's voice.

"I didn't mean to make you cry. You just have such a big heart, and I think sometimes you don't know what to do with it...I saw the notes about a boy. You know we wouldn't judge you for that! Shit, none of us batted an eye when Big Bill came out as bisexual, so why would we care. You deserve to be happy, Rich. I just want you to be happy."

The more he spoke, the quieter Stan's voice became and the louder his blood rushed in his ears. Silence enveloped the truck again, and soon the tires came to a stop over a patch of grass.

"Did you mean all of that?"

Richie Tozier was not a small boy anymore, he was all long limbs of 6'2, and had developed a jawline sharp enough to cut a man, but right now, in the dim light of his dashboard, swallowed by a grey hoodie and hunched over, Richie Tozier reminded Stan of that scared boy in the sewers.

"Every last word. And I think you should know that a little birdie told me that I might be the inspiration for some of those lovely lyrics in your book..." Glasses nearly flew off Richie's face with how quickly he shot his head up, worried brown eyes magnified by the lenses.

"Bev, that bitch."

"I wouldn't say that quite yet. She pointed something else out to me too. She said I've had you wrapped around my finger since we met in second grade, but she also said that you've had me wrapped around your finger for a while now too. And I've got to say, she's right. Can't believe she knows me better than both of us. But yeah, Rich, you've had me wrapped around your finger since you told my mom at age six that she had better get used to you because you'd be around for a while."

Richie put the truck in park, unbuckled and shifted to be more in the middle of the truck, and the yellow of the radio highlighted the pink on his cheeks perfectly. "Stan...I don't really know what to say. Still can't believe she ratted me out like that."

"Say you're gonna let us in more. Say she was right. Say you want to give this a shot.”

"I want to give this a shot. I'm pretty sure I've been in love with you since we were twelve." A warm hand gently took Stan's as he spoke, squeezing gently before he scooted just a bit closer.

"Slow down there Tozier, I've only just opened my eyes to the fact that you might be it for me, let me catch up before we start tossing the L word around. Buy me dinner first at least."

A genuine chuckle and Richie moved back to his seat, his hand still in Stan's. "How bout a late dinner at-", brown eyes glanced at the clock,"-nearly one a.m?" "Lead the way, Tozier. I'll be right with you."

#stozier #it #secret santa #this is my first contribution to the fandom #im so nervous rn #send help #thanks

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