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freshbakedbreadstick · 9 months

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No. 1 Party Anthem - Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader - Chapter Two

Past!Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader

Carmy Berzatto x F!Platonic!Reader

Richie Jerimovich x F!Platonic!Reader

Summary: You knew that returning to The Beef wouldn't be easy, but you also didn't know it would be this hard either.

Warnings: All my fics are 18+ regardless of the content. Heavy spoilers. Mentions of grief, death, mental health issues, strained relationships, sharp objects, mild violence, and injuries.

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: My sweet snickerdoodles . . . I just wanna say that i adore you all . I completely forgot to mention (wow breadstick you forget a lot for being a fanfiction veteran I know I know) but this is a slow burn . All things will be revealed in due time . Patience will grant you mercy one day, but that day is not today so sit tight and read on ! ! Also, i may or may not have written this at 5 am while dealing with a bout of insomnia which is why the ultra specific time is mentioned at the end lolllll . Ily babes I hope u all enjoy !

*Note: "mija", directly translated from Spanish, means "my daughter" but in this, it is being used as a term of endearment (fem.) similar to "darling" or "sweetheart"

Taglist: @marysucks-blog

MASTERLIST / Prologue / Chapter One

The Beef was silent, an accomplishment that would be thrown into the history books. Chef chatter aside, no conversations about the latest happenings, no jokes, and nothing else aside from kitchen happenings was mentioned.

To say it was tense is an understatement.

But here you were, ignoring the way that the extremely sharp knife you were using to chop some vegetables would probably struggle to cut the thick tension in the air.

From across the kitchen and standing by the door of the office was Sugar.

Her eyes felt like they were seering holes on your back.

She chewed her bottom lip with her arms crossed and eyebrows creasing, watching you carefully. She noted the way you carefully yielded the knife, avoiding your fingers and skillfully chopped the onions into a julienne cut.

The memory of when Carmy taught you how to do that, years ago, on a night when Mikey was cooking dinner for all five of you, popped into her mind. She could practically smell the browning of garlic and even hear Mikey teasingly warning Carmy that his girl better come out of the lesson unscathed, Richie laughing loudly in the background.

With a sigh, Sugar turned to walk back into the office, catching Richie's eyes before closing the door behind her. Richie winced, unsure what to do with Sugar's silent communication of 'do something!'.

Beside you, a stranger grabbed a bowl of chopped onions from you. Turning out of instinct, you and the stranger made eye contact before she smiled briefly and turned away. You couldn't help but feel elated that someone from here, anyone, looked at you without this watery, dejected look in their eye that they either hid or showed unabashedly.

Carmy barks out a couple orders, as usual, before passing you, "Behind."

He placed his hand onto your shoulder, gripping it softly but right as he put it there, it disappeared. You barely had any time to react to it, feel the warmth for a split second before he moved away to continue his work. Your shoulder twitched as you paused for a second before resuming your task.

Everyone around you kept moving, efficiently calling out to one another to keep this machine of a restaurant going. They moved quickly and without doubt, from one place to another but they all managed to migrate back to their original stations.

And here you were, standing over a cutting table, holding a knife, with a never ending supply of onions to chop.

"Hey…"

The onions just kept coming.

"Hey uhm…"

Once you thought you finished cutting them all, more just appeared there. You didn't notice if someone put them there but, if you did, you just seemed to block it out.

"Yo…"

You could always put the knife down and step away from the onions, but you didn't. This was your station, you were needed here. If you stopped, what would happen? What would you do? What would everyone else do?

Carmy yelled out your name.

You whipped your head around, making yourself stumble. Everyone around you looked away in an instant, busying their hands and eyes.

"Everyone's getting ready to go now," he said, trailing off into a softer tone at the end.

You blinked and nodded, placing the knife down and wiping your hands on your apron before approaching the office where Sugar stood. There she held your stuff, still looking at you in a way that made that pit in your stomach come back. You forced out a smile, trying to show her that you were okay, but that look never went away.

As Ebra was about to leave through the backdoor, he paused and turned to you. He nodded and tried to smile but it came out looking like a mix of a smile and wince that made you want to both laugh and cry.

Ebrahim said your name, making you furrow your brows, before he said, "Your return is welcomed."

With that, he left.

Slowly, you began to nod your head, looking off to the side. His words felt oddly comforting. You had known him for a long time now as he was a long time chef here at The Beef and while your conversations used to be extensive, this one line he shared with you now said everything that needed to be said in the moment.

Marcus and the stranger who smiled at you earlier, whom you came to know as Sydney, were chatting quietly by the lockers before they too passed you as you took off your apron and handed it to Sugar.

"It's nice to have you around again," Marcus said, before reaching forward to embrace you.

You embraced him back, squeezing your eyes shut as you were reminded of how every 'hello!' and 'goodbye!' the two of you shared while at The Beef was accompanied with a hug, like a slow simmered and flavorful sauce that perfectly complemented a dish.

Sydney nodded and gave you a tight smile, "Nice to meet you…"

You nodded back and cleared your throat, giving her your name as you awkwardly introduced yourself. Despite spending the whole day with each other, you never once formally introduced yourselves, just listened to others throw your names back and forth.

"It's nice to meet you too."

The two left quietly.

Tina, Manny, and Angel all walked toward the door. The two men nodded in your direction before leaving while Tina stopped and smiled warmly.

"I'm glad you came, mija*," Tina whispered, reaching to place her hand on your arm.

You could feel the worn skin of her hands press into your skin, making goosebumps appear over your arms.

Hiking her bag over her shoulder, Tina left with a glance back to you.

The door closed, leaving only you, Sugar, Carmy, and Richie to be the only ones inside The Beef. Fak had left earlier in the day, hugging you tightly much to the dismay of Richie who made it known that he thought Fak was smothering you. But you appreciated Fak's sweet nature for a brief second until it became a reminder of once was, making your mood sour as he left.

The clank of the back door closing made you look over to the three others in the building with you. Carmy was wiping down some of the tables in the kitchen, Richie was glancing at you from the front counter as he messed with the register, and Sugar was chewing on her lip and staring at the floor beside you.

All three looked like they wanted to tell you something but couldn't. Well Carmy looked like everything he did want to say was buried deep inside and he was just going to ignore it all, Richie looked like he wasn't sure how to start the conversation, and Sugar looked like she desperately wanted to start the conversation but didn't want to upset you in the process.

With all your stuff in tow, you gave the three of them one more glance before shrugging and turning around, feeling relieved that the day didn't end in tears, a yelling match, or at the hospital. So you turned around, ready to go home and not deal with this stuffy air or pity and grief anymore.

"Wait-!"

You froze, face squeezing together. You were this close to getting out�� this close!

You let go of the breath you didn't know you were holding and slowly swiveled around on your feet, soles squeaking underneath you.

You knew that all three of them spoke at the same time, voicing the exact same thought at once. But no one spoke when you turned, only looking away from you.

The lights buzzed quietly and the clock in the office clicked softly, being the only sounds that echoed in the room. Your eyes shifted from each of the three as you felt yourself getting more and more desperate to just go home.

Carmy was the first to break the silence, making you take a sharp inhale, "You did good today, Chef."

You sighed, "Thank you, Chef."

He rubbed the back of his neck, other hand on his waist. His back was still turned away from you so you had no idea if he was cringing from what he said out of the blue or meant it genuinely. Either way, you would've said thank you.

Sugar said your name before continuing, "It's okay to feel-"

Richie interjected rather quickly, "Do you have a place to stay, cousin?"

Both you and Carmy winced as Sugar and Richie shared a quick glare. They then turned their attention back to you, gazes softening. But you and Carmy both understood the implication, making you both squirm a bit.

You opened your mouth to respond, before closing it again, feeling a bit like a fish. But nevertheless, you carefully chose your words and continued, "If there's anything you really want to tell me, get it over with now."

You looked around again. You can feel yourself getting increasingly agitated at the way they all avoided your gaze as if looking at you would be enough to make you shatter into millions of glass pieces.

Carmy simply nodded and looked away at your statement, making you roll your eyes. So he was just going to ignore everything, okay then.

Sugar hummed to herself, foot tapping on the floor quietly before she finally said, somewhat exasperated, "It's okay to feel… not okay, okay?"

This made you snort.

She looked at you, somewhat taken aback, as you coughed, trying to cover the unexpected snort you just let out.

"Yea… I know." You said, brief humor disappearing.

"Have you been to therapy or anything?" She continued, surprising you.

You stood up straight, actually considering her words. Therapy was something that felt somewhat foreign to you. While you were no stranger to it, having been for other things before, you hadn't gone specifically for Mikey's death. If anything, you avoided it.

"Uhm… no I haven't…"

Sugar sighed, "You uhm, if you haven't already, which i'm sure you have, you should consider going…"

You closed your eyes, the implication of going to see a professional about this making you nervous. But before you could get deeper into those thoughts, Richie spoke up.

"Where are you staying at?" He asked.

"I'm at my parent's, right now."

His forehead creased before he continued, "Are you here for a while or…?"

Sighing you let your hands clap onto your thighs, "I guess so… as far as i know i have nothing out west."

At this, he perked up, "You'll be okay there..?"

The way he worded that sounded like a cross between a question and a statement, as if he was both reassuring you that you would be okay at home and asking you if you would be okay at the place where you got the news of your boyfriend’s death.

"Yea." You stated in a matter of fact tone that even surprised yourself.

You rolled your shoulders back, holding your head up high. You walked into The Beef earlier that day hoping to pretend that you were the same confident and fun person you were prior to Mikey's death yet all that just melted away the second you were inside. But it was never too late for you to bring that facade back, was it?

You smiled and took a deep breath, "You all have my phone number, if you need me, call or text me. You also all know where I'm at right now, you are free to come over anytime. It was really nice seeing you all, goodnight."

With that, you left, closing the door and leaving all the unanswered questions that the people you once considered family had behind.

You didn't hear from any of them until a week later. You had avoided them and The Beef in the time being, choosing to stay at home whenever your parents tried to get you to do minor outings like joining them to shop at the grocery store or walk around the neighborhood. You knew that you would have to pull your weight around the house soon too, but would probably choose to do laundry, yard work, cooking meals, or cleaning before going out and risking running into someone you knew.

Or even worse, a reminder of what you lost.

So you stayed at home, leaving the few belongings you brought with you in boxes around your room. They, like you, were stuck in limbo, unsure whether or not you would be staying or going.

The only tangible thing you really had anymore were your thoughts. Somedays they made you laugh and other days, they made you cry until you fell asleep with puffy eyes and a nauseous stomach.

When Richie called you three days later to meet him at some random address, you were confused. His rough voice was oddly soft, speaking carefully and clearly. He didn't answer any of your questions either, just reiterating the directions and that he was fine. You were even more confused when you realized that you were meeting him outside an urgent care in the city. The confusion only grew into panic when you saw that he was sitting in a wheelchair with a nurse behind him next to the front curb of the building.

As your car slowed down in front of him, you quickly unbuckled yourself and hopped out of your car but before you could say anything, the nurse spoke up.

"Make sure he keeps the area dry for the next 24 to 48 hours. He needs to gently clean the area with water twice a day after that. Replace the bandage twice a day and then everytime you clean it. Richard should already know what to do but I thought this information should also be relayed to you."

"Uh... okay." You said, smiling nervously at her.

Your eyes shifted to Richie who looked at you guiltily.

After both you and the nurse helped Richie into the passenger seat of your car, the two of you took off in silence. Soft jazz played on the radio, tuned to some random channel you didn't bother to change because you were too busy wondering how you even got here.

Once you stopped at a red light a couple blocks away, you spoke up, "Why the fuck are you sitting in my car with stitches???"

Richie snorted and winced, "I'm fine, thanks for asking."

You groaned, rolling your eyes and accelerating as the light turned green, "Okay well you're alive so that's all that matters. Now tell me why you're sitting in my car with stitches."

Richie leaned his head against the window, looking out, "...Do you even want me to tell you? It has to do with The Beef…"

You were silent, debating. On one hand, you were worried and wanted to know what happened, but another part of you warned you that this piece of information would only begin dragging you back to the very place you didn't want to go back to.

Meanwhile, the soft jazz continued, filling in the space of silence between you two.

"Fine." You finally murmured.

"Shit got messy with this new to-go thing that Sydney added, which was her fault by the way, and fucked everything up right before the lunch rush. Marcus was too busy focusing on his donut to do his job and it all just… blew up in our faces!" Richie gestured wildly, very obviously still upset.

You nodded slowly, drumming your fingers on the steering wheel as you imagined what he was saying.

"Carmy threw a fucking fit and was yelling at everyone and when I tried to step in, I only ended up arguing with Sydney and when I tried to be the bigger person and walk away, guess fucking what, i get stabbed."

"What?!" You jerk, alarmed.

The car swerved a bit making Richie groan as he put pressure onto his wound. You quickly straighten the car and mumbled a curse followed by an apology.

"I'm okay! I'm okay! Sydney was holding a knife and didn't say anything so when I moved with my back to her, I moved into the knife she was holding. It wasn't like she tried to stab me or anything, she was just being stupid." He quickly adds, adjusting himself in his seat with a wince as he tried to quell your fear.

You slumped back into your seat, chewing so hard on your bottom lip that you hissed in pain when you bit too hard, "Jesus…"

"Sydney quit and Marcus pretty much did too, fucking assholes. I got halfway through the lunch rush before Tina forced me to go get medical attention. Carmy was too pissed off to say anything about it but yea…"

You parked your car in front of the place you knew as Richie's apartment. You got there purely by muscle memory, which made Richie's chest tighten when he noticed but didn't say a word about.

You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose, "So you're telling me that all hell broke loose today, Carmy lost it, Syd and Marcus quit, and you got stabbed?"

Richie nodded, "In the ass."

You stared at him blankly.

"Well fuck."

"Fuck indeed."

This made you both chuckle to yourselves.

"So what now?"

This made Richie shrug, "I don't know but, I'm going back again tomorrow and I'll just have to see…

one step at a time."

Richie wasn't a sap, he knew that. He hated huge displays of affection, greeting cards with cheesy lines, and stickers that were meant to be encouraging but actually seemed condescending.

So when he randomly blurted out that last part aloud to you, he thought he would grimace the same way he does to sappy things he hates.

But he didn't.

It felt right in the moment and judging by the way he noticed your tense frame soften in your seat, it felt right for you too.

"One step at a time," you repeated, turning to smile softly at him.

Richie sagged in his seat, swallowing the knot in his throat. He hadn’t seen you smile this genuinely since before Mikey’s death.

That night you laid in bed and stared at the ceiling, doing what you seemed to do best nowadays: thinking.

So much has changed since you were last here, not only with the places but the people. Yet, you felt the exact same. Cutting your hair, living in a new place, and leaping into the arms of a new person never once changed you.

But in that brief exchange with Richie before you dropped him off, something inside you changed. You couldn't pinpoint it, no matter how many hours you spent lying awake trying desperately to figure out what it was.

As scary as it was, it also felt good. It felt warm and soothing and not at all artificial. Not at all like what some words said to you after the funeral services were like.

It was at 5:17 am, in the darkness of your bedroom, that you decided that you would go to The Beef the next day and take it one step at a time.

#the bear #carmen berzatto #reader #carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto imagine #carmy the bear #michael berzatto x reader #mikey berzatto #mikey berzatto imagine #mikey the bear #carmen berzatto x reader #richie jerimovich x reader #richie berzatto imagine #richie the bear #richie jerimovich #sugar berzatto #natalie berzatto

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ciaonicole85 · 2 hours

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Part 2: What Then?

I promise I have a life, but I couldn't help writing part 2 today! This takes place the same day as the "Development Day" when Syd and Carmy are thrown off by each other's answers during an ice breaker activity. Post-season 2. Feel-good fluff.

Photo Credit @drrav3nb / drrav3nb.tumblr.com

"So those are the menu changes for Chicago Restaurant Week. If you have questions, feel free to ask me or Chef Sydney. You should also have an email from Natalie by later today. Okay, let's prep for night service!"

Carmy closed the meeting, grateful that it was finally over. He was no longer afraid of public speaking after rising in the ranks of various kitchens, but his mind was not in this ever since the ice breaker. He, Carmen Berzatto, had made Sydney's favorite meal ever? The last time he prepared the pork confit and the Milk and Honey dishes she mentioned was several years ago. Back then he was at Eleven Madison Park, a rising star on the culinary scene, who chain-smoked, slept 3 hours a night, and was berated by the EC daily. It was a nightmare peppered with flashes of genius. He was dying to ask her about it, but before he could get her attention Sydney had slipped into the kitchen.

He stared disappointed at the window that separated the dining area and kitchen.

"Hey Bear, what's up with you?" Richie said sidling up to him trying to follow his gaze.

"Nothing cousin."

"Yeah, right. I missed when it happened, but it seems like you crashed and had to reboot during the meeting. Then you were lost in Sydney-land. Want to talk about it?"

Carmy rubbed his eyes and raked his hands through his hair. When he used both hands, Richie knew without a doubt he had hit on something.

"First, cool it about Syd. That handout you gave us was really cute. And yes, there's something on my mind, but it's not for me to say."

Richie grinned and rubbed Carmy's shoulder.

"Fine, just get your head together because tonight is going to be loaded and it includes three anniversaries and a birthday. And second, you need to cool it about her or do something. It's like I'm living in The Wonder Years with Kevin and Winnie."

"What?"

"Oh, right. That's probably before your time. Kids!"

With that Richie sauntered over to the host stands to strategize with the wait staff and hosts.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Sydney who had a thousand things to do, was adding at least a hundred more onto her plate. She didn't want to appear like she had a moment to spare. She and Carmy could talk at the end of the night as usual, without any eavesdropping. This would also give her time to think of an explanation as to why she never mentioned eating at Eleven Madison Park and that she wasn't a stalker who followed him to The Beef. To top off this awkward sundae, Carmy casually admitted his favorite part of the day was closing, the only time they are alone every day. She hoped no one else had connected the dots on that last part.

The afternoon and the night never went quicker to her chagrin. Even when one of the line cooks was sent home due to illness and a large group put in an order for 7 Fishes two minutes before tickets closed, she thought the night couldn't last long enough. Fortunately, Carmy seemed resigned to waiting and didn't look at her more than usual. In a flash service was over and no one was in the mood to hang around. By 11:00pm Sydney had cleaned her station for the third time and forced herself to go to Carm's office. He sat there pretending to do busy work, patiently waiting like a child who consoled himself that his parents wouldn't make him wait too long to open his Christmas presents.

"Hey Syd...it was a good night," he said softly not wanting to scare her away.

Sydney nodded and took a seat. Might as well get it over with it.

"Okay, yes. You made the best meal I've ever had. During a break at the CIA, I went to NYC and ate everywhere on my list, including Eleven Madison Park. It was a Wednesday night and I ordered several things including pork confit and Milk and Honey."

Sydney couldn't help closing her eyes and smiling at the memory. Her guard began to slip.

"Carm, it was like tasting my future and the best part of my past at the same time. I asked the waiter who made those dishes and he said Carmen Berzatto."

Carmen leaned forward on the desk. Whenever Sydney praised him, he felt like a cactus in an unexpected downpour. He wouldn't waste a single word. Her sunny existence and her belief in him sustained him during his dry seasons. He reached for her whenever he looked at the debt they still owed Uncle Cicero, when his mother finally visited The Bear and cried saying that he had erased Mikey, and even when their success seemed too good to be true.

Sydney opened her eyes to find him looking at her in the way he had. It was terrifying because she had a very specific plan for her career. It also thrilled her, knowing the power she had over him. Five months ago, she had been begging for his focus and now she knew every her mood, glance, and word she spoke impacted him. Once for the fun of it during a slow night she stared at him until she drew his attention and smiled. He blushed, smiled back, came towards her without saying "corner", and crashed into one of the servers, sending three Michael cannoli to the floor. That was three months ago when she first realized something was going on with him. She'd refused to abuse her power since, going so far as to convince herself that she was overestimating his feelings. Then he said the best part of his day was closing. She hoped, well sort of hoped, that they could maintain this close, but not too close partnership and friendship without complications.

After a long pause Carmen sighed and sat back in his chair.

"So, how did you find me?"

"Well, like I said when we met, it was the job posting. I recognized your name and also The Beef from my dad taking me here."

She shrugged thoughtfully.

"It felt like destiny. Like a sign after Sheridan went under."

He nodded.

"It's really strange. You came here because I inspired you and the only reason, I felt capable of attempting something this big was because of you" he said gesturing to the ceiling.

"Yeah?" Sydney whispered.

"Yeah."

He stood up and walked around to sit on the desk facing her. Now, Sydney felt vulnerable looking up at him. It was so easy for him to unnerve her when he spoke this way, like under the table.

Carmy took one her hands and after a moment brought it to his lips.

"Thank you for telling me, Syd. It means a lot."

Sydney was unable to speak. Her throat had closed.

"Soon, is your one year work anniversary and I think we should celebrate."

She nodded.

Carmy set her hand down.

"It's late. I'll drive you home."

With that they left the office, gathered their stuff, and walked to his car in silence.

As they drove, Sydney attempted to talk herself down. Was that hand kiss, an Italian thing? Possibly. It also seemed like Carmy decided to do...something, but what? Worse, she was feeling like they had traded positions in mere seconds. She'd enjoyed having the upper hand. Oh, well. With a goodnight's rest she'd be back in form tomorrow. It was going to be unseasonably warm. She'd wear one of The Bear restaurant tanks Natalie had made for merch. Maybe accidentally brush against him. Then it would be game over for poor Carmy bear. For now, she wouldn't worry about the work anniversary. It was probably just going to be a cake Carm commissioned Marcus to bake.

Probably.

#the bear #sydcarmy #sydney x carmy #carmy the bear #sydney adamu #fan fiction #syd adamu #carmy x sydney #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #they are so cute

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vethsoddities · 6 months

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Veth’s Steph and Pete Headcanons

CW:This Follows The canon of NPMD the best I can so mention of funeral’s and death and the like so be warned if I forget any warns tell me and I’ll add them

and if I spelt or got any lore wrong lmk nicely thank you

Master List

A/n: I’m totally “normal” about these two I wrote these at 1 - 2 am and b4 that I tagged all of these at 1am hope these makes since I’m on new meds and they made me kinda tried and my eyes hurt so bad anyhow my requests are open check my master list it’s pinned on my profile anyway enjoy these headcanons I’m also going through and editing all this at 2:58 am so technically I’ve been working on this from 1 am to 2 am to 3 am I hope you like this

Stephanie Lauter and Peter Spankoffski headcanons

After all that happened in NPMD ie Steph losing her dad and Pete losing Richie and Ruth and Steph having to shoot him and Max stopping the bullet and doing the whole “I’m the only one who can kill you nerdy prudes” and Grace taking one for the the team by giving up what she cherished most

Pete and Steph didn’t want to be far from each other and ending up holding each other for a while so that led to them having sleepovers at the others home Steph hated being all alone in that big house so she was glad to have Pete being there with her.

They both try to comfort the other when they start to breakdown after all that has happened Steph seems like the type who doesn’t know how to comfort someone same with Pete but they both try and they love the other for that

Steph and Pete didn’t label their relationship right away because they weren’t sure what would happen after all that went down but they knew for a fact they loved the other after a LONG and I mean a Long time of denying the fact they were in love each other like they canonically had a song about it too but after a bit calls each other their partner or girlfriend/ boyfriend thing

These two in my mind both have They in their pronouns and or possibly t4t because they aren’t totally straight in my mind Pete to me seems unlabeled but Steph is either Pansexual or Bisexual and could be gender-fluid and or She/they but either Gender fluid or Demi girl she has She/They pronouns

Pete without a doubt is trans FTM and uses He/Him and possibly on occasion uses They and or them and I could possibly see him as Asexual but I’m not for sure on that one just yet

Pete definitely drives home the fact that Steph is smart and that he’s proud of her and whatever else Solomon told her is bull shit and he loves her no matter what and that he will be their for her no matter what

Steph does the same type of thing for Pete that he is in fact cool to her and not a loser and comforts him fully and says that he’s a handsome always especially when gender dysphoria kicks his ass and will be their for him through it all

This could be me projecting but these two would probably give a little smooch on the other’s forearm and tell the other they love them

I feel like Steph would do Pete’s hair into different hairstyles, Steph definitely teases him lovingly about the bow ties still

Steph at some point mentioned thinking about doing a wolf cut or short hair and Pete supported her no matter what Steph did the same with his hair if he wanted to cut it or let it grow more either way she could still run her hands through his hair

And as Steph does in canon affectionately calls Pete a Nerd and him possibility calling her Mean Girl or probably something else it’s 3:11 am rn and I’m proof reading this when I could be sleeping to creativity is low lmfao

Homecoming was fun for both of them and as it should be I think they have photos of it both digital and Polaroid and for the Polaroids, they have the pictures hanging up on an aesthetic string and clips thing

Content warring here’s the mention of Funerals and death(ig I don’t think I say it at all but still be aware)

Now when it came to the funeral’s of Richie,Ruth it was a ruff time for both of them and seeing as they all were friends it was one of the Moments Steph comforts Pete even if it wasn’t something she was good at still

and after words they visit Ruth and Richie’s graves and leaves flowers and possibly Anime themed stuff for Richies grave and no matter what both Ruth and Richie gets flowers on their respective graves

When Solomon’s funeral came around I think Stephanie kinda shut down having to be around her fathers colleagues friends and connecting and was going into auto pilot going through the motions of everything that she knew how to act as to make sure Solomon’s image looked good

Pete was their with her and after a while pulled her away from the people so he could make sure she was okay as she could be for what was happening and she just broke down and they decided to leave after funeral things happened

I feel like after wards of both funerals just like after NPMD but before homecoming’s they just held each other to comfort one another and saying sweet things to each other because they love each other

#nerdy prudes must die #npmd #nerdy prudes spoilers #npmd spoilers #steph lauter #stephanie lauter #pete spankoffski #peter spankoffski #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #fanfic #dyslexic writer #vethsoddities #veth’s rambling #i am cringe but i am free #And I love them so much I’m totally “normal” about them #Also sorry if this doesn’t make since and sucks I’m tired as I said new meds and it’s 3:18 am help

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invisiblegarters · 7 months

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Dangerous Romance Ep 8

Last week, Kang tried to make Sailom's friends forgive him for all that bullying and treating them like shit, mostly successfully as it turns out. But only really because they are great friends and they can see that Sailom likes him. Auto was very relatable and steadily climbed the ranks into becoming my favorite character, and Guy and Nawa were dumb with alcohol.

Also Saifah got Grandma to hire him. I'm sure that'll go well with absolutely nothing being stolen and no one being arrested and no repercussions for Sailom at all.

See? Sailom doesn't trust his big bro either. We all know.

Pffft yes Kang. Sleeping next to Saifah will totally make you smarter. Well, he knows what genre he's in, at any rate.

Just for tonight, Sailom says. That's how it starts, my friend.

Kang reminds me of my cat. I'll be minding my own business and then I'll just feel eyes on me and I'll look and sure enough, there she is staring fixedly at my face like 👀. Little creeper (affectionate).

Sailom is being really loud.

Guy and Nawa are so ridiculous. I can't take anything they do seriously.

Well I have to say Saifah has rich kids pegged. Will Sailom figure that out, though? Doubtful.

Oh wait I'm watching a different show. I forgot that Sailom is nothing like Sand. Literally the only thing those two have in common is that they're poor and in love with richie riches. And the fact that he went off without so much as trying to get an explanation pretty much guarantees that Kang's reason for not making it isn't just that he's a spoiled shit who didn't feel like it. He's not Ray, either. Gotta remember that lol.

Okay but he still could have called? Was his phone magically broken too? It just shows a certain level of thoughtlessness I dislike.

I just want to take a quick moment to say I really appreciate the trend of letting the inevitable female love rival be a real person and not just a plot device, or a villain who keeps trying to break up the main couple.

Oh that's sweet. But Saifah is not going to care Grandma. I just do not trust that face at all.

Now that the BL sheets have been mentioned I can never unsee it again.

Okay I do love Sailom. He really goes all out when he decides to do a thing, doesn't he.

Product placement!

Uh oh. And we have an injury that's gonna mess up try outs and then dad will step in and pay off coach, yes?

I have to say that this does feel a little different. Usually the rich kids have to learn the lessons of working for a thing and they don't already realize just how little it does for them to get it all from money. In these shows I mean in real life I don't think they give two shits ever haha. But Kang already seems to be very aware of this - he's aimless because nothing is expected from him and he resents it. Maybe I'm wrong though.

Huh. So he was asking for expensive stuff, not taking. I assumed he was taking. I still wonder if he stole that watch though.

Uh oh. I don't like the way Grandma asked that. I'm suspicious of everyone!

Is "I'll deal with him alone" code for makeouts? Because I believe that these two want to kill each other like I believe the sky is neon green.

Two point five please be serious.

Pfft I kind of love how chill Max and Auto are. Like I don't even care anymore it's just funny to me now.

Oh here we go with the blushing maiden shit. It's okay if these guys want to do sexy things to each other, show.

"I'm not just a spoiled rich kid anymore, right?" Oh no it's really gonna suck when you find out dad took care of this for you, kddo.

Dad what are you up to? You are so slimy right now that you're practically oozing.

Oooh he's going off. And there it is. I always knew Dad had that in him.

And hey, this is actually a good use of flashback.

Aw okay this is actually really sweet. I don't know if I'm a diehard shipper yet (so far I enjoy Nawa and Guy more overall), but do like this. I always enjoy a good "us against the world" moment.

Bro you are literally dating why are you asking if he likes you.

Lol oh dear that preview.

I'm getting better with this show. We're vibing now. I'm a little sad it took me eight episodes to do that, but at least we're here, right?

#dangerous romance #episode 8

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heytherejulietx · 3 years

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you’re all i want - richie tozier

↳ requested by anon; HELLOOOOOOO!!!. i was wondering if u could do a innocent shy reader x richie angst where yn doesn’t think she’s enough for richie bec the thinks his ex gfs were prettier please 💗💗

↳ 4.7k word count

↳ content warnings - major insecurities (body image, insecurities in general), angst, hurt / comfort, swearing, mentions of cheating, aged up losers, i suck at endings so it’s bad aishqjd. to anyone who suffers with insecurity issues, i promise you’re beautiful and i love you <3

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@bucky-j-barnes @whaddyameann @justanotherkpopstanlol @amberritonicole @deadyfreddy @3rrrr0r @dekine @michaelwheelers join my tag list

“do you like it?” y/n smiled softly as she let bev take the embroidered bracelet from her hand and watched as the redhead took a closer look at the red and green floss. she often spent quite a lot of her time making little trinkets for her friends. so far, she had made bev a collection of anklets and bracelets, knitted a scarf for stanley and a matching hat for bill, made stickers for ben, knitted a jumper for mike, made eddie tons of keychains, and thousands of bracelets and keychains for richie. his favourite one she had given him was actually an idea of bev’s; one night when the girls were having a sleepover, bev had taught y/n how to make a bracelet out of an old bra strap, and had given it to richie the day after. she hadn’t seen his wrist without it since.

“yeah!” bev smiled as she put it around her wrist, sitting with two others which were black. “it kinda matches the one on my ankle.” she pointed to her leg, where a red anklet was around her left ankle, and y/n smiled.

“i made one for richie too, it’s purple.” she explained and bev grinned.

“i doubt he has room for any more.”

“he’ll make room, don’t worry.” she giggled quietly, though looked up when the classroom door opened and watched as somebody walked inside.

there was a student transferring to their history class, which they had swapped in for geography, and she had been interested to see who it was all morning. y/n recognised the girl, though she had never spoken to her - she was a cheerleader, and y/n was a loser. the girl walked into the classroom and over to the teacher’s desk, and when beverly looked up she scoffed.

“for fuck sake.” she mumbled, rolling her eyes.

“what?” y/n frowned, looking at the girl again before back at bev. “do you not like her?”

bev blinked at y/n, furrowing her eyebrows a little. “do you not know who that is?” she asked, and y/n paused. was she supposed to?

“uhm, no. who is she?” y/n saw the look of disgust on bev’s face and wondered for a moment if she was one of the girl’s who used to bully her alongside greta keene.

“it’s ashley. ashley brooke?” bev asked, tilting her head, though the name still rang no bells and y/n just blinked in confusion. “she’s richie’s ex.”

“...oh.”

she was richie’s ex? y/n looked back over at ashley as she took a seat across the classroom and frowned. she was… beautiful. she was tall and skinny and had beautiful long hair, and thinking about it she wasn’t at all surprised richie used to like her. when they had started dating, richie had told her that he had an ex from before y/n had moved to their school, though she hadn’t minded at the time. if she knew that richie had downgraded with her then maybe she’d mind a little more. ashley was a cheerleader; she had good grades, everybody liked her, and she was so pretty. y/n was average in all of her classes, barely knew anybody other than the losers, and she was most definitely not nearly as pretty as ashley. if richie could date someone like ashley, why was he settling with her?

“y/n?” bev gently nudged her arm, and after looking away from ashley she could see that bev looked concerned. “she was a bitch, alright? they didn’t even date for three months. she just got with him because he suddenly got hot one summer.” bev scoffed, and y/n nodded, though she let her eyes drift back towards ashley and sighed. she wasn’t so sure.

after she had seen ashley that morning, it was hard to not miss her everywhere else she went. y/n realised that her locker was close to ashley’s, that they shared a free period, they even shared their math class together. by the time lunch rolled around she was almost miserable. her brain had been running non stop all day about it. about how richie could do so much better than her if he wanted to. she wasn’t cruel, she knew that richie wouldn’t break up with her, because he was kind. but was he miserable with her? did he want to be with someone else?

she had been so lost in thought as she walked outside towards the losers’ lunch table that she hadn’t seen the person in front of her and walked right into them. she felt nauseous when they turned around and was face to face with ashley.

y/n’s eyes widened, freezing up for a solid few seconds. “oh uh- i’m sorry i didn’t- i didn’t see-” she started stammering, though ashley just gave her a once-over before she walked away with a huff.

y/n watched her walk away for a moment, her heart thumping heavier than normal. did ashley know who she was? did she not like her because she was dating richie now instead of her? she swallowed harshly as she continued walking, feeling a little relieved when she saw the losers all sat outside. she’d feel better when she was sat with them, she always did. one time she was ill and when she met the losers at bill’s house for their weekly movie, they had all gotten together to make her some soup and she had almost cried from gratitude.

since they all couldn’t fit on one table together, they had pushed two wooden tables together to sit together at the start of the year and nobody had moved them since. as she walked over she could hear richie and eddie yelling at each other before they even saw her and had to smile. everything was normal, so she should, in theory, feel fine.

“will you stop saying that-”

“but she did! your mom asked me to-”

“eww stop! fuckin’ stop!”

richie had his head tipped back with laughter as she actually reached the table, and upon seeing the horrified expression on eddie’s face she had to giggle.

“leave him alone, rich, you’re traumatising him.”

eddie mumbled a “thank you y/n” as she sat down on richie’s other side, opposite bev, and gave the girl a light smile as she felt an arm tuck around her waist.

“anything for you, my love,” richie sighed dramatically as he pulled her closer to himself, and she heard eddie gag on his other side when a kiss was pressed to her cheek. “was your morning okay?”

y/n nodded and smiled as she gently took his hand underneath the table. “yeah, it was fine.” it wasn’t, but richie didn’t need to know that. ashley was probably never insecure like she was being.

she felt something hit her arm and looked up to see that bev had thrown a note at her, and upon opening it she frowned.

“i saw you walk into ashley. everything okay?”

y/n appreciated how intuitive bev was. she was her best friend, and she had been there for her since her first day in derry - which was longer than she had been friends with any of the other losers, including richie. she appreciated that bev could tell when something was wrong, but she just didn’t want to talk about anything to do with ashley or her insecurities, so she just nodded and scrunched the note up before letting it drop to the floor.

“hey, rich?” she watched as richie looked up and smiled softly when she met his eyes. “i have something for you,” as she spoke y/n dug around in the front pocket of her bag, before her fingers enclosed around what she wanted and she pulled out the purple bracelet that she had made for him the night before. “here.” she placed the gift into his open palm, and watched as his face lit up.

“i don’t have a purple one yet, thanks!” he grinned and immediately put it on his left wrist (there was only four on that one, whereas he had six on his right one, including the bra strap bracelet) before he moved both arms around her as he pressed a good few kisses to her head.

y/n smiled as she leaned into his side, though she spotted ashley sat with her own friends a few tables away and frowned as a sour feeling pooled in her belly. ashley probably didn’t make him friendship bracelets, she wasn’t childish. she probably bought him more meaningful things that he would get more entertainment and use out of. she probably was a better girlfriend overall, to be honest. why was richie settling with someone who could do so little for him?

“hey, are you okay?” y/n looked up at richie as he squeezed her hand and tilted her head slightly. every day after school he walked her back to her house, and aside from any free periods they spent together, it was one of the only times they got alone during the week. usually it was the best part of her day, but she had been dreading the walk home all afternoon. her thoughts on everything had gotten so much worse after lunch, and being around richie - as much as she loved his company - made it worse. because with her hand in his, as her arm brushed against his every time richie moved closer to her side of the pavement (because god knows richie couldn’t walk in a straight line to save his life), all she could be reminded of was how bad of a girlfriend she was in comparison to what he had in the past and what he could have if he wanted it.

“hmm?” she tilted her head and put on a smile. “yeah, i’m okay.” realistically, she should have spoken to richie about how she was feeling, but she felt like that would just be selfish. she didn’t want him to have to pity her because she had come to the realisation that she just wasn’t good enough. she just wanted it all to get better. y/n wished bev had never told her who ashley was so she could keep thinking that she was a good girlfriend, and maybe if she carried on thinking it was fine she would have no problems. but since she knew how not fine it was, it hurt. walking home with her then, as his thumb dragged across her knuckles so often when he didn’t have his head tipped back in laughter over a dumb joke he made, did he regret asking her out? in that moment did he know how much better he could have? did he want better?

she squeezed his hand back gently and tried to be reassuring, but her hand suddenly felt cold in his as nausea swirled around her stomach. y/n took a brief look down at herself, seeing hand-me-down clothes and a figure she wasn’t happy with and thought of ashley, who was always best dressed and looked like she should do modeling. if he hadn’t realised it yet, how much better he could do, then he would eventually. and then she’d lose him.

she didn’t turn up for lunch on tuesday. richie had pouted the whole time, ignoring stan’s suggestions that she was late or had something else to do. he knew she was in school - bev had seen her in their english class, and the redhead had said she was quiet, sure, but y/n was always quiet! it took her days after they had first met to get her to talk to him, and still sometimes she crawled back into her shell when she was feeling particularly shy or unwell. richie always found it adorable, of course, so nothing could be actually wrong with her, right? so why hadn’t she sat with them?

it couldn’t have been something he did. at lunch on monday they sat together just fine; she had given him another bracelet and he held her the whole time until class. and then they had walked together after school as they always did. she seemed a little off, sure, but nothing was actually wrong. maybe she was just on her period or something, girls got all sad when they were on their period. or in bev’s case she got angry; richie had tried to prank her once without realising and she had shouted at him so much he was almost scared of her. and then he was scared of her when she smacked the back of his head with her hardback english textbook a few minutes later. but if anything y/n got even more clingy when she had her period, so he couldn’t fathom what was going on.

he had pouted the rest of the day about it, and was genuinely relieved when he saw her waiting for him in their usual spot after school. she told him that she had some work to do at lunch and that was why she hadn’t sat with him, and he was even more relieved. he walked home with her and held her hand, happy that nothing was wrong.

until she didn’t turn up to lunch on wednesday. or thursday. or friday.

every day she gave the same excuse, that she had something to do, but he could see her pulling away more and more. on friday she didn’t even show up to walk home with him. he couldn’t figure out what he had done wrong.

“is it me? did i do something? does she hate me?” richie paced stan’s living room on saturday afternoon. they all were supposed to go to the quarry that morning, but again; y/n didn’t show.

“why don’t you ask her?” stan had asked from where he was sat on the couch and richie glared at him.

“funnily enough stan i haven’t fuckin’ seen her so i can’t fuckin’ ask her!” richie snapped, waving his hands around in wild gestures as he spoke.

stan huffed out an annoyed breath through his nose and pointed in the direction of his telephone. “call her, dumbass.”

richie’s eyes almost bugged out of his skull, as if stan had come up with the most genius plan in the world, before he scrambled over to the phone and put in her number so fast he almost broke the phone. richie hend the phone to his ear and pulled a face when some random old man picked up and quickly cancelled the call, huffing when he realised he had put in the wrong number and dialed again, slower that time, to make sure he used the right number.

“hello?” y/n answered after the fourth ring, and richie almost heaved a sigh of relief.

“y/n? it’s richie,” he told her, and his stomach twisted uncomfortably when he heard her sigh. “is everything okay? i haven’t seen you in a while.”

y/n didn’t answer for a moment, and richie could picture her biting her lip like she always did when she was thinking over what to say. “uhm.. yeah i’m fine, i’ve just got a lot going on, rich-”

“can i come over?” he interrupted, nervously twisting the phone cord between his fingers, and his stomach dropped when she sighed again.

“now’s not really a good time…” she trailed off, and hearing the negative tone laced in her words made him feel sick. “look, rich, i need to go. i’ll see you soon.”

“wait, y/n-” he started, though the end dile cut him off and he deflated, hanging the phone back up as his shoulders slumped. when he turned back towards stanley he was frowning too, and neither of them said anything until richie fell back onto the couch, visibly upset.

“what am i supposed to do?”

she couldn’t do it. no matter how hard she tried, y/n could never be enough for richie. she wanted to be - god, she’d give anything to be as good as ashley, or any other girl that was good enough for him. but she wasn’t.

after she had hung up the phone when richie had called she had burst into tears, not even able to hang the phone back up before she fell back onto her bed, and left it dangling by it’s cord. insecurity wasn’t new for y/n, she had alway been insecure about something; how she looked, her personality, her intelligence. but when she had started dating richie, for a while it was almost like she could look past all of that. richie made her feel beautiful and funny and good, and she finally had someone who cared about her, truly cared about her. but looking back on it, that was all a deluded fantasy stemmed by finally getting positive attention from a boy. she wasn’t enough for him - she could never be enough for him. she wasn’t as pretty as other girls. she wasn’t skinny; her thighs always touched and if she looked at herself from the side she didn’t like how much of her stuck out. her hair was never perfectly done, and she didn’ know how to get her makeup perfect. ashley had been better than her, and y/n just simply couldn’t compare.

on sunday she couldn’t stay in her room anymore. her parents were worried about her, and if they grew any more concerned she would have them questioning her too, and that was the last thing she needed, she had woken up to rain that morning, which gave her a perfect place to go; the clubhouse.

on rainy days, the losers usually just squished into bill’s basement to watch movies and eat junk food. the clubhouse was nice, but when it rained the hatch caused a leak and the ladder became too slippery to be safe; which they found out due to eddie getting a twisted ankle one time.

so y/n had gotten dressed that morning and skipped breakfast to head straight there, ignoring when her phone had rung for the fifth time since her conversation with richie the afternoon prior. she couldn’t handle talking to him. the phone was still ringing when she grabbed her coat and left her bedroom, letting the door shut behind her.

it didn’t take too long to get to the clubhouse; she knew how to get there like the back of her hand after going there for two years. the hatch was wet and the ladder was slippery but she was careful not to slip as she climbed down, and made it safely to the ground without any accidents. maybe she’d have a nice afternoon; the clubhouse was nice, and she had it to herself for once.

though that certainty popped like a bubble when she turned around and saw richie stood beside the hammock, just as frozen as she was. shit.

“y/n-”

“i should go, i forgot something.” she breathed out through the sudden nausea, though as she turned around his hand enclosed around her arm and he spun her back around to face him.

“no, no, no. i need to talk to you.”

y/n swallowed the bile that threatened to make its way up her throat. as she looked up at richie and met his gaze, her stomach twisted into an uncomfortable knot that made it impossible to form any words, so she nodded instead. he looked mad- no, not mad - fuming. she had never seen him look so pissed off, not even when henry bowers had thrown a glass bottle at eddie and missed his head by a mere inch. no, this was different. his grip on her arm was almost too tight and it made her uncomfortable, and the burning fire behind his angry stare made her want to squirm underneath his gaze. she had never seen him like that.

“no bullshit this time, okay? i need to know what the fuck is going on,” richie huffed, his free hand clenched in a fist whilst his other stayed wrapped around her forearm. “you ditch me for lunch, lie about it, then continue ditching me and continue lying about it, and then yesterday you fuckin’ blow me off? what the fuck was that- i just wanted to know if you were okay!” she could only stare at him wide-eyed as he ranted, her eyes glossing over like freshly cut glass with tears. “is it me? have i done something? are you losing interest in me? is there someone else?” he huffed, and when she didn’t respond again richie groaned and stressfully ran a hand through his hair. “i need you to answer me! y/n-”

“i know who ashley is.” her voice was barely above a whisper when she spoke, though it still shut him up. tears had started falling down her cheeks though she had ignored them and continued looking at richie through her slightly-blurry gaze.

“what?” richie cocked his head to the side, scoffing in disbelief. “what the fuck does ashley have to do with the fact that you’ve been ignoring me?”

“i know that you used to date her before i moved here.”

richie blinked in disbelief. “i told you i had another girlfriend before you and you said that you didn’t want to know who it was. is this what this is about? you’re mad that i never said-”

“no!” she yelled, and her expression scrunched up in frustration as he stared at her. “i’m not mad at you, richie! how could i ever- i’m not mad!” she took in a deep heaving breath that hurt her chest as she was holding in tears. “i’m not even mad, i’m just- fuck, richie, seeing ashley made me realise how worthless i am, you know? you used to date someone so perfect, and then you had to downgrade with me! ashley is so beautiful and smart and funny and i’m none of those things! i don’t know why you picked me but you could do so much better!” her voice started wobbling as her tears fell faster, but she ignored them still. “i’m not enough for you! i joined this school two years after everyone else so i’m already behind on everything, i haven’t even known you as long as other girls at school-”

“y/n-”

“-and you could have anyone if you wanted to because you’re smart and funny and attractive, and i’m just some quiet awkward girl who isn’t even pretty enough-”

“y/n, baby-” richie had stepped forwards to place his hands on her cheeks when she had started really crying, though she didn’t seem to notice as she carried on.

“-i just don’t know why you’re settling with me when you can do so much better than me-”

at some point the line between crying and yelling had become unintelligible, and at the point when her breathing had become unsteady and her expression crumpled, richie just pulled her tightly against himself, and as soon as she was pressed to his chest she started sobbing. richie had started saying something to soothe her but she couldn’t make it out through her crying, and could just feel his arms holding her tightly as she gripped onto his shirt in fists as her shoulders shook with her overflow of tears. if he minded the fact that she was staining his shirt with tears he didn’t mention it, and he just kept holding her to himself as she cried. her eyes were sore and her chest hurt, but after some time she had calmed down enough to just be sniffling, her breath catching unevenly and painfully in her chest.

“fuck, y/n.” richie mumbled, and when she felt his hand on the back of her head she whimpered quietly with the urge to sob again.

“i’m being really selfish,” she sniffled. “i know you can do better but i don’t want to lose you.”

“hey hey hey,” richie sighed and lifted a hand to her cheek to tilt her head up to look at him. when her eyes met his she could see he was crying too. “you’re not going to lose me, okay? christ, doll, i’ve been terrified that i was going to lose you all week.”

y/n swallowed thicky through the lump in her throat and pressed her face into his chest, not wanting to look at him. now she had made him cry, what a good girlfriend she was.

richie was moving them to sit somewhere though she didn’t look up until he sat down on one of the chairs and pulled her into his lap, her legs hanging off of either side of his thighs. she usually protested that she was too heavy when he wanted to sit with her like that, but she didn’t have it in her to try. she just continued to grip onto his shirt, and let him rub her back as she sniffled into his shoulder.

“i broke up with ashley because i found out she was cheating on me,” despite the sad words, richie’s voice was perfectly calm, though it didn’t stop the pang of hurt in her chest when she heard it. “i wasn’t really happy with her. she was pretty and somewhat good company but i didn’t love her. i didn’t love anybody until i knew you; i didn’t even know what love was until i loved you,” y/n continued sniffling into his shoulder even as he spoke, and after a pause she heard him sigh before he placed a hand on her cheek so she would look at him again. “y/n, you have no idea how much you mean to me. i wish you could see yourself through my eyes so you could understand how perfect you are. i love you so fuckin’ much, i don’t care that you’re not like ashley. i’m happy that you’re not like her.”

“but she’s so pretty and i’m not-”

richie huffed, silencing her with a pinch to her hip. “yes you are. you’re gorgeous, and i’m not just saying that. you really are the most beautiful person i know. you’re so kind and thoughtful, and you love me for who i am, all of the good and the bad; how could you not be enough for me?”

y/n sighed, her lip quivering as she looked down at her lap with a shrug. “i feel like you shouldn’t have to settle with me.”

richie scoffed, a sound that was so normal from him she almost smiled. “y/n, i am not settling with you. i’m in love with you. i want you and nobody else, that’s it,” he tilted her head up again and let his lips press to her forehead before he met her eyes again. “okay? you’re all i want.”

y/n’s lip quivered again and richie held her into him again, his arms a strong hold around her body. her eyes stung with more tears and she started crying into his shoulder again. “i’m so sorry, rich-”

“don’t apologise, doll, it’s okay. i just want you to know how much you mean to me. we can talk about how you’re feeling when you’re ready to, okay? but i need you to know how much i love and need you.”

y/n nodded and gripped onto him tighter, mumbling a muffled “i love you, too” into his shoulder. she could feel richie start to rock them as he held her against himself, and if anything she gripped onto him tighter. she still felt terrible; how she felt about herself wouldn’t go away with one conversation, and she sure as hell thought he could do better. but his reassurance helped massively, and it was enough to let her relax into his arms as he held her. the rain was still drizzling outside and her quiet sniffles filled the air, though she found comfort in knowing that she wasn’t going to lose richie, and that he wanted her.

#amber’s writing #richie tozier #richie tozier it #richie tozier x reader #richie tozier x you #richie tozier fanfiction #richie tozier drabble #richie tozier fic #it chapter one #it chapter 1 #it chapter two #it chapter 2 #it fanfiction #it fic #it 2017 #it 2017 imagine #it 2019 imagine

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farmhandler · 4 years

Text

My Everything

Rated: T

Pairing: Shifty/Richie from “Rockababy”

Word Count: 3k~

Summary: Shifty wants to know why Richie likes taking photos of him so much, and he gets his answer--and much more.

A/N: So this comic by the amazing human being @c2ndy2c1d is just really special. And then I wrote a fic because somebody had to, so please read the comic!! I was so charmed by all the characters, and I cannot resist this kind of nerd/jock/coolkid dynamic so here we are. I got permission to write this, so I hope I don’t butcher their characterizations! I tried to keep my interpretations as true to the comic as I could. Enjoy <3

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“How long do I gotta sit like this?”

“Just a minute!” Richie says. It’s the same thing he said ten minutes ago, and then five minutes before that. He adjusts his camera lens and then poses again, taking another several photos for god knows what reason. “Just don’t move. I need to get the right shot…”

Shifty doesn’t move as promised, but his tail gives the table beside him a solid thwap to show Richie just how thin his patience is starting to run.

“Why do you want these photos anyway? You’ve taken like—thousands already, I swear.”

“This is the first time I’ve gotten photos with your tail entirely intact.” He snaps another photo. Shifty lets out an explosive sigh and turns his head to give his neck a break. He’s lying on his stomach, ass up in the air, posed to give Richie ‘every valuable angle’ to get all the photos he needs for his research.

Research, research. It’s always about that damn research of his. He’s always makin’ Shifty turn this way and that, exposing every part of himself to Richie’s camera. Shifty can feel his face starting to turn pink, and without a doubt he knows the rest of his skin is sure to follow soon. It’s easier when he’s a human and there’s only so many places that can turn colors.

“I was hoping I could find a remedy to make your tail grow back faster,” Richie says forlornly, lowering his camera. “I’ve still got a lot of work to do.”

“Hey, you’re doing great,” Shifty says. He sits up, ignoring the look on Richie’s face and lifts one leg to his chest to give his arm something to lean on. “You helped make that medicine that took my pain away. That was pretty good.”

“Yeah,” Richie agrees reluctantly, staring down at his camera as if a medical marvel isn’t comparable to fixing Shifty’s tail—which was gonna grow back anyway. “But I wanted to figure this one out. I was so close…”

Shifty shrugs. “You’ve got time. Why worry about one little thing?”

“It’s not little,” Richie says, looking up at him. Even through his huge, nerdy glasses, his eyes burn with a passion that always leaves Shifty feeling strangely breathless. “I want to help you, any way I can.”

“So you’ve said,” Shifty says, off-hand, like his body isn’t changing colors. Richie’s gaze doesn’t shift, and Shifty keeps his eyes down at his feet, ‘cause otherwise he’ll never get the color to go away. “Why do you care so much about taking photos of me anyway? I mean—” While Richie stares at him, Shifty wrestles with his words, suddenly finding it hard to articulate something that’s been running through his mind since this whole thing with Richie started.

“What is it?”

“You’re always taking all these pictures because you think the way I look is—”

“—fascinating,” Richie finishes for him.

“Uh huh. Right, fascinating.” Shifty looks around for the pack of smokes Richie keeps for him and finds it on the shelf behind him. He lights it, once again ignoring Richie’s sharp look. No smoking inside, he’s always saying, but Shifty’s been dying for one for hours, and the rooms got great ventilation. “But let’s be real for a minute—don’t you prefer it when I look human?”

It’s not insecurity that makes Shifty ask the question. Well, not completely. Sure, he sometimes feels insecure about being so different from everyone, but he doesn’t wish he was a human. Hell no—they’re fragile as hell.

Richie blinks at him. “Why would I want that?”

“Well—” Shifty pauses; stares down at his hand and starts the shift, lifting human fingers for Richie to see. “I don’t know, don’t you like it more? I look like you.”

“But you’re not like me,” Richie points out. Shifty shifts uncomfortably, weighing Richie’s words. The way he says it—it shouldn’t hurt, but it unexpectedly does.

Something in Shifty’s face must give him away, because in the next moment, Richie steps forward, his eyes wide. “And that’s a good thing! You’re not like me, you’re like you. And sure, the Shifty I knew at school and around town is a handsome guy, but I also really like the real you.” At Shifty’s continued silence, he continues. “Would you prefer it if I looked like you?”

“Well, no,” Shifty admits. “You’re a human.”

“Exactly. You’re perfect just the way you are.” Richie walks up to him, even closer now, those damn chocolate brown eyes boring into Shifty and makin’ him turn fucking pink. He can feel it happening because it always does around this guy; he’s the only one that can do this to him as often as he does, and the nerd has the gall to act like he has no idea what he’s doing.

He lifts his hands and cups the sides of Shifty’s face, the warmth of his hands seeping into his skin. The way Richie is looking at him—it’s more observational. Maybe he’d even describe it as clinical. Almost like business as usual, with Richie ignoring his personal space and putting his warm hands all over Shifty, only this time, with the topic of their conversation at hand, Shifty can’t take another second of this one-sided embarrassment.

He shifts, his body morphing and skin swirling until he’s almost entirely human. By the time he’s got his human face on, Richie has realized exactly what kind of position they’re really in. With his eyes still stuck on his, Shifty feels a vicious sense of satisfaction when Richie’s cheeks start to color.

“I—you—”

Shifty lifts his hand up over the back of Richie’s hand—the one that’s still hovering by his face uncertainly. “What was that you were saying about me being handsome?”

Richie’s glasses slip down his nose. He flicks his eyes down, and then the color in his cheeks darkens.

Do I have something on my face? Shifty wonders.

“You’re naked,” Richie squeaks. His hands snap to his face so fast that he basically slaps himself and ends up stumbling back, still trying to cover his eyes from Shifty’s naked form.

Huh, he thinks, looking down at himself. Forgot I was wearing real clothes before.

“Come on, sci-fi, it’s not like you’ve never seen me naked before. I’m naked all the time, in a way.”

“Yeah, but—” Richie turns and peeks out from between his fingers, then whips around again. “That’s different! You’re usually wearing clothes why aren’t you wearing clothes now.”

“They’re usually such a pain that I always morph ‘em, but today I decided, why not try wearing some?” He scratches his chin. “Then I forgot about ‘em.”

Seeing Richie so flustered by his human self when he doesn’t seem to give a damn about a naked alien makes him feel…annoyed isn’t the right world.

“Hey,” Shifty says, stalking up to Richie with his cigarette still in hand. He takes a drag and slides up behind him, wrapping one arm around his waist. Richie jolts with a gasp; Shifty does what he does best and shifts, letting Richie feel the way his body changes, morphing back into his alien self. “You don’t think this part of me is handsome?”

“I’m not answering that question,” Richie says. His ears are red. Shifty feels the oddest urge to bite them.

“Oh, so human me is hot, but not real me.”

“I’m not—you’re not—that’s not what I’m saying!” Richie turns around, fixes his warm eyes on Shifty, and points an accusatory finger at him. “I have to remain impartial. It’s bad enough that you’re all around me at home, being…the way you are—”

Shifty takes a drag. “The way I am?”

“Like that! Just like that. Handsome, cool, mysterious,” Richie starts ticking things off his fingers, to Shifty’s disbelief. “I mean, does smoking even do anything to you? What do your lungs look like?”

“I thought you hated all that stuff?” Shifty asks, ignoring the question.

“Well—” Richie’s flush still hasn’t dissipated. He takes off his glasses and starts cleaning them. “Even I can acknowledge that from an objective standpoint, you’re attractive.”

“You think I’m hot?” Shifty says, meaning it as a tease, but it comes out like a genuine question. Richie looks up at him, all intense as usual, and something in his face shifts.

“Yes,” he admits, face flushed and looking a little shaky on his feet. But his eyes—there’s that glitter; the glamor of intrigue that he always directs at Shifty and anything worth a dime in his mind. “I do.”

Shifty goes to take another drag of his cigarette—he isn’t sure what to say—but his damn hand is shaking and he’s reached the butt end, so he lets his hand fall and stares up at the ceiling instead. “Huh,” he says. “Well, uhm, thanks.”

Richie doesn’t reply; instead, he walks up to Shifty and takes the cigarette butt from his hand and tosses it in the nearby trashcan. He has to reach over to di it, and their fingers brush; it feels electric. Shifty inhales, his heart pounding, and chances a look at Richie.

He’s now staring at him with such an intense look that Shifty wants to laugh. But man—those eyes. Shifty would never say it out loud, but he loves the color of Richie’s eyes. He likes the way he looks at him when he’s taking photos, or when he’s sleepy, or when he’s found something new and exciting to fixate on.

Richie’s hand slides over his. He leans forward, and Shifty leans back on instinct, bracing himself against the desk behind him. He’s so close that Shifty can practically smell the aftershave he uses, even though he’s barely grown a single hair on his chin—

“Richard, dinner’s almost ready!” Richard’s mom calls from the landing leading to Richie’s mini laboratory set up in their basement, cutting straight through the tension and demolishing it.

They separate lightning fast. Shifty morphs into a human (with clothes) on instinct, and Richie’s looking down at the table, his face red.

“Richie? Carrot?” She’ll cycle through all the petnames she can think of if he doesn’t answer soon. “You down there?”

“I’m here!” Richie calls. He glances at Shifty, face full of an unnamed emotion. “I’ll be up soon!”

Once her footsteps fade, he sighs and drags his fingers through his hair. Without his glasses on his face, and with his hair slicked back— Shifty wishes he had something to put in his mouth, keep him from saying something he might regret.

“We had better get up there,” he says lamely, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Before the food gets cold.”

“Yeah, we should…do that.”

They’re quiet for a few minutes, both of them lost in their own thoughts, reluctant to leave this space. Richie’s mom never comes down there, so it’s practically theirs: the two of them. Shifty is still thinking about Richie’s hand on top of his. Humans run so hot, and Richie’s like a furnace running in the high heat of summer.

Goddamn it, he thinks, grinding his teeth. He feels unexpectedly angry, for reasons he can’t explain.

He turns and starts walking towards the stairs, and that’s when he feels Richie take hold of his arm.

“Wait!” Richie cries, stopping him short. “Shifty, wait.”

“What is it, Richie?” he says, without turning. “I’ve got my eyes on your mom’s monthly meatloaf—”

Before he has a chance to say more, Richie grabs him by the labels and yanks him forward, straight onto his mouth. It’s not graceful by any means—Richie’s glasses nearly poke Shifty in the eye, and the angle’s all wrong, but it’s good. Hell, better than good, it’s great.

It’s chase, with no tongue, but Richie pulls away to adjust the angle and nearly trips backwards over his own damn feet, so Shifty ends up being the one to wrap his arms around Richie’s waist and pull him in for another kiss. And another. And then maybe a few more after that, until Richie has his face in his hands again and—god, his mouth is so soft, and his hands are so warm. Shifty could just melt in him. He’s just glad he’s not shifted, ‘cause otherwise he’d be pink up to his eyeballs. Plus, it’s easier to kiss Richie like this.

The series of kisses lasts probably only a minute or so, but it feels like forever. And when they pull away, hell, Shifty’s really glad he’s not shifted, because the look Richie is directing at him could make fireworks light up.

“That was one helluva kiss, Richie,” Shifty manages.

“Your skin,” Richie replies, brushing his thumb across Shifty’s cheek. For a second he’s worried he’s shifted back, or worse—this form now comes in the same shade of pink, too, but when he looks down at himself he can see that speckles of his scales have crept into his skin. They’re probably on his face, just under his eyes.

“Guess I just lost a bit of control for a sec,” Shifty admits, rubbing the back of his neck. Richie’s eyes widen, the look on his face is the same look he gets when he’s filing away important information for later. “Jesus, Richie, not that I’m complaining, but…what was that for?”

“I wanted…well I—I wanted to do that. Kiss you, I mean, even though I’ve never done it before, so it was probably bad—”

Shifty opens his mouth to interrupt and say that it wasn’t, but Richie continues quickly, the flush on his face down to his neck now. Maybe humans can turn completely pink when pressed.

“But I also wanted to say that I’m sorry. Shifty, if I’ve ever made you feel like you’re just a specimen or—or a lab experiment, then that’s not right. You’re more than that.” He takes Shifty’s hand and squeezes, eyes locked on his. “You’re a kind and intelligent and amazing friend, and you’re so beautiful. No matter what form you take.”

Shifty ducks his head. Praise isn’t really his thing; he doesn’t like being the center of that kind of attention, but on the other hand (and literally, he’s holding his hand), Richie has become an important part of his life he’d rather not do without. He likes having him around, even if it’s for his ‘research’.

“Hell,” he says, not sure what else to say. Richie gives Shifty’s hand another squeeze, and the place where they’re touching tingles. Shifty’s heart is still beating fast, and the words he’s been thinking about just slip out of his mouth. “You saying you wanna go steady, or what?”

It’s almost phrased like a joke, and for a minute Shifty wants to take it back, because how is that anyway to ask somebody out? There’s no way Richie would take that and go with it, but when he looks at his face, Richie’s mouth opens, and then his eyes light up.

“Are you seriously asking me?” he asks, and adds hastily after a long pause, “because the answer would be yes. I would. Very much so. If, um, kissing you wasn’t obvious enough.”

“I’m seriously askin’,” Shifty says, then realizes that while Richie gave him a nice little speech, he hasn’t really returned the favor. “You’re a nerd, Richie. There’s no gettin’ around that.”

“Hey—”

“But,” Shifty continues, raising a hand. “That’s how I like you. You’re wicked smart, and you get me, maybe more than anybody else around here. You’re one of my best friends, aside from Buttons, and when you’re in your element you’re pretty damn cool.”

A smile slowly splits across Richie’s face, until he’s grinning from ear to hear. That hand that’s still holding onto Shifty’s tugs him forward. For a second Shifty thinks he might try to kiss him again, but maybe he used up all his confidence when he did it the first time, because all he does is hold his hand and smile.

Fuck. Shifty clears his throat. “So we gonna eat, or stand here all night?” Not that he would mind.

“Oh! Yeah, my mom’s probably waiting for us. Come on.” Richie pulls him towards the stairs and Shifty goes without protest. They’re still holding hands, and when they reach the ground floor it isn’t until Richie’s mom finds them that he finally let’s go.

“Honey, I’ve been waiting for ages. What were you two doing down there?” She takes in their appearance and the flushed look on Richie’s face. “Carrot, your face is so red. Are you feeling all right?”

Despite the completely innocuous question, Richie’s face makes a complicated expression and he flounders for a response. “Ah— we— I mean I— "

“Science,” Shifty answers smoothly, flinging his arm around Richie’s shoulders. “You know how it is.”

Richie’s mom looks at them, her eyes flicking between the two, and then she claps her hands together. “Oh, don’t I ever! Well, enough science for the night. Let’s eat!”

“Very smooth,” Shifty says to Richie after she’s gone ahead. Richie frowns at him.

“You’re one to talk.” He raises an eyebrow. “’Science?’”

Shifty shrugs. Richie’s frown softens into a soft smile, and before he can metaphorically attack Shifty with his warm eyes, he steals a kiss from Richie’s half-open mouth, grinning when he sputters at him indignantly.

“Come on, sci-fi, meatloaf’s waiting,” he says, letting his hand linger at his lower back, just a while longer.

#is there a tag yet #rockababy #rockababy comic #read this comic or else #c2ndy2c1d #shifty #richie #a classic dynamic #3k #my fic #what do i know about science? well ill have you know NOTHIN #and it shows #i know it's a crime that buttons isn't in this but with another person my dialogue gets out of HAND guys we don't have TIME for that #couldn't think of a title either!! titles are hard #the summary is kind of a lie im sorry if u thought it would be spicy

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lluvguts · 3 years

Text

all better // reddie

pairing: teen!richie tozier / eddie kaspbrak

genre/warnings: fluff and angst, trauma, h/c

word count: 2111

summary: Eddie has a bad day and Richie does his best to cheer him up.

check out my ao3

It’s just Richie’s front door.

But no amount of convincing worked for Eddie’s mind as the sight of it warped into the small door in the sewer...With the grotesque face of the leper staring back at him. As he stared at the Tozier’s oak door he swore he saw a thick trickle of blood seep from the threshold and hear the sound of sickly, rasping breath from inside the hollow door. Just a few more moments and he’d be face to face with It..

It’s dark out, he told himself. That’s why I’m seeing things. But I’m here, Richie’s here. I’m safe. No need to be scared.

But that didn’t stop the nightmares that assailed him all night long—ever since they defeated It—keeping Eddie wide awake and strangled in worry for what could be lurking in the murky blackness outside. Eddie’s mother had caught on to his insomnia since the first week, making him take all sorts of supplements and medicine claiming to be a “sleep aid.” They did nothing to keep the images at bay. The noises. He only slept well on nights when Richie snuck over, or when Eddie drove to his house.

Richie could never know.

Eddie shook his head and knocked again. His eyes searched the window with its drawn curtains. I did tell him I’m coming, right?

But then the lock swung back and the door opened, showing the face that soothed all his worries. Richie grabbed Eddie’s arm and brought him in for a hug. He was suddenly pulled into Richie’s open chest and the familiar stink of cigarettes and black tea consumed him. It was a bold and comforting smell, one that Eddie loved. It made his nerves settle and for Eddie was unmistakably Richie Tozier.

“You look like shit, Eds,” Richie held him tightly, “On the phone you said it was a bad day, right?”

Eddie nodded against his shirt and they pulled away. I’m not entirely wrong. It was a bad day. He just doesn’t need to know exactly why. And that was the great thing about Richie: he didn’t need an explanation. He was more than happy to let his boyfriend curl up in his arms, his face still burning from fearful tears while Richie whispered little jokes or Voices in his ear until Eddie wiped his eyes and laughed. Most of the time they weren’t even funny.

“That’s alright, Eds. I’ll fix us some dinner, yeah?”

“You can cook?” Eddie followed Richie into the kitchen and sat on an island chair.

Richie pouted at him, his lower lip sticking out. “Don’t be hateful, sweetheart. Of course the Trashmouth can cook.”

“What’s on the menu then, Chef Tozier?”

“You’ll see.” Richie laughed and rummaged through the pantry.

Eddie glanced around the empty kitchen, not a single sound filled the house—except of course for Richie banging around looking for a stove pot.

“No parents?"

"Nope. My folks are out of town for the weekend, some family thing.” Richie said, dismissing the idea with a wave of his hand.

“And they left you alone?” Eddie asked, unable to help the smile that drifted into his voice.

“I’m seventeen. I don’t need constant supervision.” Richie growled.

Eddie pointed to him. “Yet you were about to pour marinara sauce into a pasta strainer.”

“Okay, scratch that. I’ll always need you, Eddie my love...Plus I promised them I wouldn’t burn the house down.”

“What on Earth are you doing with all that?” Eddie caught sight of two boxes of macaroni, lettuce, and red sauce.

He tried to stifle his giggling, but it was useless. “Rich, are you trying to make spaghetti?”

“Maybe.” He replied defiantly with an embarrassed blush.

“With iceberg lettuce?”

Richie inspected his ingredients again with his eyebrows raised, his eyes looked more doubtful now from beneath his glasses. “..That’s a thing, right?”

Eddie sighed and joined him at the counter. “You’re hopeless, Richie. Give me that ladle,” He loosely gestured to the wooden spoon next to him while putting back the lettuce.

“This is the wrong type of noodle.” Eddie held up the box of pasta while the marinara sauce simmered on the stove—the one thing Richie had done correctly.

Richie snorted and put his hands on his hips. “Not everything can be perfect like you.”

Eddie rolled his eyes and let Richie’s arms snake around his waist. “Okay, fine. Macaroni it is.”

He waddled over to the sink—with Richie still attached from behind—to pour water into the pot. As he let the faucet run Richie bent down and kissed his bare neck softly, his glasses poking into his skin.

Eddie stiffened. “What was that for?”

“For helping me with dinner. For being cute. Why, can’t I kiss you just because?”

“Of course you can. You’re just..distracting.”

“Oh? You mean like this?” Richie laughed and placed a trail of teasing kisses up his neck, making Eddie grip the handles of the pot tighter while he fought to breathe. He knows just where to kiss me.

“Am I distracting you now?” His mouth rested just above the space between Eddie’s jaw and earlobe, his warm lips and breath tickling him. One of Richie’s hands drifted down toward his pants and Eddie stepped on his bare foot.

“Cut it out Richie,” Eddie gasped. He realized in his daze that the pot of water was about to overflow and quickly shut it off. He carried it to the stove and set it to boil, then poured in the macaroni noodles.

He turned to him. “You’re gonna give me a heart attack one of these days.”

Richie returned his hands to his sides and smirked. “Awe, shucks. To think I have that effect on people.”

“Only me, dipshit.”

“And that’s just fine,” Richie pecked his cheek and hugged him again.

“Feeling any better, Eds?”

“After some dinner I will be.” Eddie replied while wrestling out of the bear hug to set two plates on the tile counter. Richie drained the pasta and Eddie turned off the burners.

“Like mother, like son.” Richie said philosophically at the sink.

“Be quiet,” Eddie gave his chest a playful shove and handed him the food. They sat at the table on opposite sides, and just as he was about to eat Richie stuck his fork at him.

“What are you doing?”

“Letting you try some!” Richie pushed the fork further towards Eddie’s mouth.

“I have some right here,” He gestured to his own full plate, “And you’ve been eating off that already.”

Before he could pull his fork away a few stray pieces of macaroni slipped off the fork and fell across Eddie’s shirt, staining the front with oily red sauce. Richie’s eyes widened, and he drew the fork back guiltily.

“Gross!”

“Oh, shit. Sorry Eddie! I’ll go get one of mine!” He hopped off the chair and dashed up the stairs. Eddie took the chance to eat some of the “spaghetti” before Richie returned with a fresh shirt.

“I am not wearing that,” Eddie said firmly, picking the noodles off his lap and into his empty plate.

“Just take that off and put on mine. It’s mostly clean, don’t worry. I’ll wash yours.” Richie held his shirt out to him, waiting with closed eyes for the dirty one. Eddie diverted his eyes and pulled his shirt up over his head. He threw Richie’s on hurriedly, his face was red the whole time. God, it smells just like him.

“Okay, you’re good.” Eddie told him and he opened his eyes. Richie examined him wearing his own clothes then flashed a grin.

“Why do my clothes look better on you? And the Cutie Award goes to..”

Eddie thrust the stained shirt at him. “My ass.”

“He’s not wrong, folks!” Richie shouted into the empty hallway as he went back upstairs to the laundry room.

“You want me to clean this up?” Eddie called. Richie had left a trail of dirty dishes and stray pasta noodles in his wake as they had cooked, not caring to pick up.

“Just come up here! We’ll do it later.” came his reply. By “later,” Eddie knew he meant “tomorrow.”

Eddie headed up the stairs and sat on Richie’s bed, waiting for him. Even without him there—just for a few seconds—the thoughts came racing back, like a flip of a switch, no matter if things were happy and easygoing minutes before.

He was no longer in Richie’s room. He was on the burning asphalt with a broken arm, he was running through the yard of the Neibolt house, desperate and out of breath. He was staring directly in the face of Henry Bowers, his entire arm engulfed in flames as searing as a hot iron with Patrick’s spit stuck in his eyes. He was reliving every memory.

“...Eds? What is it? What happened?” Richie appeared in the doorway but Eddie could hardly see him through the haze; he only heard his footsteps thundering in his head as he came to his side, taking his face and forcing him to look into his chocolate brown eyes.

“Eddie? Talk to me, please,” Richie was pleading, sitting down next to Eddie and keeping his hands placed firmly on his shoulders, helping to relieve his staggered breathing.

“It hurts,” Eddie said weakly but his words got choked up in a fresh wave of tears.

“Where, baby? Where does it hurt?” He searched his face and scanned his body frantically.

“God, Richie. My head..the memories, it hurts so much. They never went away,” He cried, truly feeling every ounce of that childhood pain. Richie grabbed his sides and pulled him into his lap, his face set into a hard, serious frown that left Eddie startled.

He’s always been there for me.

“N-no,” Eddie tried moving away, “I’ve been crying..It’s gross, Rich. Let me go wash my face or something.” He sniffed loudly.

“Shhh,” Richie shook his head and held him more fiercely, Eddie could feel the beating of their hearts together against his chest. He closed his eyes and counted each rhythmic thump of Richie’s heartbeat until he could breathe again.

He brought his face to Eddie’s cheek, wet with tears, and kissed him.

“Let me make it better,” Richie whispered. He moved his lips to tenderly kiss every spot on Eddie’s face: each tear, his pink nose, his eyelids.

“It’s gone, we killed It, everything’s alright now,” He kept his lips pressed to Eddie’s temple, and as he did the ache there subsided, “You’re safe with me, Eds.”

Eddie let out a shaky laugh. “You’re such a sap, Richie.”

“Only for you.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes with Richie running his hands through Eddie’s hair. He loved when Richie did this, when his gentle fingers sent shivers down his spine. His comforting touch made different tears slide down Eddie’s face.

“Is it still there? Did the nightmares go away?” Richie asked with another twinge of concern when he felt Eddie crying quietly again into his shoulder.

Eddie tucked his face into the crook of his neck to hide the embarrassment and mumbled, “No, they w-went away.”

“What’s wrong? Why are you still crying, Eddie?” Richie leaned against the headboard so he could see the smaller boy’s face and he cradled the back of his hair.

“I’ve never had someone be so..kind to me before. Not like this. No one would ever do the things you’re always doing for me. I-I don’t think I deserve it.”

Richie lifted Eddie’s legs up higher so he was more comfortable and the smaller boy snuggled in. He spoke with his chin resting on top of his head, “I know I’m kind of an ass most of the time, but I don’t mean to be. I’m always looking out for you Eds, even when you think I’m not...It’s cause I love you.”

Those three words silenced everything and left Eddie blissfully calm—despite his frantic heart.

He loves me?

Eddie questioned it as soon as he said it, but after thinking it over he knew Richie wasn’t lying.

Who else would clean me up after a panic attack, or wake me from a nightmare, even if I was covered in sweat and tears and who knows what else? Who else would hold me the rest of the night, even if it meant he didn’t sleep?

“I love you too,” Eddie said against his neck. And then, after a thoughtful pause,

“But don’t call me Eds.”

#it movie #reddie #reddie fanfic #fluff and angst #angst fanfic #h/c prompt #emotional h/c #it fanfiction #teen reddie #whump fic #comfort #richie tozier x eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #not canon compliant lol

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wtfsaidthefox · 3 years

Text

Can’t sleep?

Duskwood - Jake x MC - 1779 words - Spoilers for Ep7!

Starts out with MC (who I randomly decided to name Sam) struggling after the events of Ep7, and Jake wanting to comfort her. Ends in self-indulgence fluff, because apparently that's the only way I can imagine Jake.

Under „read more" due to length~

Middle of the Night. She could hear rain coming down, beating against the open window of her bedroom. It wasn't all that cold, but she felt cold, even with her blanket pulled up halfway over her head. There was just a shiver going through her she couldn't shake. By now, she must have been lying in bed for a few hours, trying to find some sleep but dreading it all the same.

It had only been yesterday. Someone she had come to call a friend and care about in these last days… killed, right in front of her. It still didn't feel real. Then again, it felt like the only reality she had left. The pictures didn't leave her. Richy, coughing up blood. Richy, his face slowly growing still and lifeless. The panic taking over her, her heartbeat too loud and too fast in her own ears, that one thought hammering in her head, „do something, do something, do something".

If she'd try to recall her own actions right now, she barely could. She told the others. Desperate, incoherent syllabyles and half sentences. They went through disbelief, shock and denial all in a few seconds, but one of them managed to call the police. They had barely spoken since Richy's body was found, and on her end, she couldn't blame anything but guilt. Maybe they had pushed too much. Maybe it was her fault. Maybe she could have done something.

With a small, low groan she reached for her phone. Sleep wouldn’t come, and if, it would come with the same nightmares of last night, so she was tired of fighting for it. Anything else would do.

Opening her phone, she realized that she had an unread message.

Jake.

Between everything falling apart and coming undone, Jake had tried his best to stay calm. But it was even hard for him. ‚He must be so worried‘, she thought, ‚what this could mean for Hannah. Is Hannah dead already too, after all? Will everyone abandon the search for his sister?‘. In truth, he was worried for her.

„Hello Sam. You're probably asleep by now, at least I hope so. I just wanted to ask if you were alright. I mean, whenever you wake up. Please just let me know.“

A slight smile ghosted over her lips. Had someone told her after that first voice distorted phone call that the man under that hoodie would turn out to be such a sweetheart, she'd have laughed at them. But there was really no other word more fitting for Jake. Going through the best, most convincing „I'm all good" standard responses in her head, she noticed the little green dot next to his name. He was online. And just a few seconds later, another message popped up, he had seen her being online too.

„Can't sleep?“

„No. Do you ever sleep?“

„Some times?“

There was a bit of a break. She didn't know what to say, her thoughts a mess and her fingers shaky. Jake started typing. Stopped. Erased the Text. Then again.

„If you can't sleep Sam, I'm here for you.“

„You're sweet Jake.“

This was bittersweet, if she was honest. His care for her made her feel warm for the first time since she crawled under her blanket. But she was also at a loss for words. Shouldn't he focus on Hannah? Did she really deserve his support now? And most of all… how? How could he help her, far way, at some place she didn't even know. But she’d bite her tongue off before admitting to that thought.

„Do you want to talk?“

„You mean Smalltalk? 🤭“

Well, this sounded familiar.

„I would love to Jake, it's just…. I don't even know about what. Anything else would do, but I'm only coming up blank.“

„I'd know something.“

Oh? Now this was new. Curious, she asked him to go ahead.

„While I was in hiding, the only thing I could think of was you. How much I missed you. All the things I wanted to tell you. All the things you didn't know about me yet, but that I wanted to share. Even if I never shared them before, or couldn't even say why it suddenly meant so much to me to tell you. And more then that, all the things I didn‘t yet know about you. All the things I wanted to ask for no other reason then that I want to know you.“

He straightened up in front of his PC. Close to 2 in the night, he hadn't even moved away from his desk yet. Sleep, especially good sleep, had been a stranger to him for so long now, he had given up trying. There was always something on his mind, something to be done, one potential mistake to double check, one preparation more to make. If he was honest, most often, it was pointless. Nothing but his own ghosts from these last months on the run from the governement keeping him awake.

But this time was different. This time, the reason was right.

„You can ask me anything you want Jake“

„What makes you happy?“

Unexpected. Again. She furrowed her brows as she pondered the answer to his question.

„That's a hard one to answer"

„I know. I don't think I could have answered it myself just a short time ago.“

The implication was obvious enough, but still, she needed to hear it. Hear it spelled out.

„But you do now?“

„I do. You. You make me happy.“

She read those words a few times, with a smile on her face, aloud, or in her head in what she imagined his voice to sound like. Jake was normally not too good at reading other peoples emotions, but she couldn't help wondering if he knew how much she had needed to hear that. What those words meant, especially now, when all she was capable of was blaming and doubting herself.

„You make me happy too Jake“

„And that means more to me then I can say. But still, I'd love to hear what else does.“

„Are you planing to use that information against me?“

„Yes. Repeatedly and without fail :)“

How cute could he get? Laughing, she shoke her head and decided to just list everything randomly that would spring to mind.

„Well…. My neighbours, they have this little dog, and every time it sees me in the hallway it's all excited and overjoyed and adorable. That's just infectious. And the first flowers coming out in spring. Every year. Getting to sleep in on Sundays. Getting to hug my friends and family, especially if I haven't seen them for a long time. And seeing them smile. Oh, and you know what? Giving them a present that was just right. You know this horrible feeling of anxiety and impending failure every time you fret over what best to get a loved one for their birthday or on christmas? But then when you hit the nail on the head, and they love it – that has to be one of the best feelings in the world!“

„Of course you would", he answered to the last bit, before she could go on.

„I would what?“

„List giving others presents over receiving them.“

„Well, I'm not complaining about that either 😛 oh, and before I forget to add: parks, forest, beaches – just taking a walk through any of those. Or sitting down for a picnic and just watching the sky. It’s been way too long since I did that last. Have you done that before?“

„No, at least not for a very long time. But I would love to do that with you.“

„As a warning: I will tell you how every single cloud looks like a bunny, or a duck, or my old angry math teacher"

„What if I can identify those clouds first?“

„Then I'm impressed and you get points"

„And what do I get if I have more points then you and win?“

„An actual cloud. So cotton candy.“

She really was the only person that could still make him smile. Just like she was the only one that still made him feel like one day, he could be genuinely happy again himself. That there were people in this world he could trust, no second guessing, no double checking, no constant overthinking every word he said. Talking to her was easy. It made him feel weightless and light-headed, and he had no idea anymore how he had managed to fight those feelings for one second in the beginning.

He had started to tell her, trying to write down just what she meant to him, but in the most unfair contradiction, finding the right words for that was impossibly hard. And given what had just happened, was this really the right time?

Before he could finish debating on hitting send or not, another message popped up.

„Jake…. Is there really a chance for that? Can I really meet you, one day? Because… I wished you were here"

„I know. I wished that too. So I could be with you and support you, more then just with a few words. But I promise you, once this is all over, I'll find a way.“

Yes, he would. He had started to think about how while he had been on the run, and he knew he could make it happen. There was simply no other choice.

Realizing this again, he had deleted his previous attempt at telling her just what exactly she meant to him. Maybe the time wasn't wrong, but the how was. He’d tell her in person. He’d tell her in his own voice, looking into her eyes and seeing her reaction on his face after every single word. And then he‘d tell her again, until she was tired of hearing it.

Which she would probably never be. She felt herself exhaling, letting go of a breath she hadn't even realized she was holding in, as she read his answer to the question she had been so afraid to ask. Which she should have asked sooner, because his answer brought her more relief then she could have hoped. It was exactly how he could help her, more then anyone else, no matter where he was right now.

„Thank you Jake"

„:)“

„I'll reserve all the prettiest picnic places in all the nearby parks 😉“

„Well I hope there are a lot, so we get to spent a lot of time together.“

„There are! Though at some point we will probably also have to think of something else 🤭“

„Looking back at your previous reply, I guess I’d get you flowers next. Or hugs. Or a dog. I'll decide spontaneously :P“

#duskwood #duskwood fanfiction #jake x mc #I love my hackerboi #I havent written stuff in a decade or something #and I dont think I published anything before #how did this happen lmao #I will blame social distancing #cute Jake just makes me happy I guess

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softest-cinnamon-roll · 3 years

Text

but when it heals, it beats for you

summary: my fic for @thoughtfullyyoungduck for the Writers Revolution Valentine’s Exchange. words: 3,314 rating: T a/n: I made a new taglist as it has been a year! If anyone wants on it, please just let me know! <3

* * * * *

Eddie hated parties, he always had. Even when he was younger and his friends would have birthday parties in their backyards, Eddie hated them. Maybe it was the loud screaming of the children, or the germs as they shoved their fingers into all the food that had been laid out in the open air, Eddie couldn’t tell, just knew that he didn’t like it. Even when he went to college, his hatred for parties never changed as soda was replaced with alcohol, and screaming children were replaced with screaming adolescents.

Those parties though were still a little bit more bearable than these parties. These parties being ‘work social gatherings’, a sorry excuse for all the boring office people he worked with to come together and gossip in a place with alcohol instead of at their desks. These gatherings were also a way for co-workers to cosy up to the Heads of Departments with the hopes of securing a promotion or even a pay rise. The whole thing made Eddie want to barf, and the worst thing about it was that he was obligated to be there as a new member of the staff.

Fresh out of college, Eddie had secured a job as an admin assistant at a lawyer’s firm in New York City. It wasn’t anywhere near his dream job, but when you were poor any job would suffice just to be able to pay the bills. Eddie didn’t have any other option, and he would just have to grin and bear it until a better opportunity came along. With that thought in mind, he stepped up to the bar and ordered a beer, taking full advantage of the free open bar.

“Kaspbrak, I wasn’t expecting you to actually show up. You’ve surprised me!” A voice practically yelled from right next to Eddie. He winced and turned to greet his co-worker, Josh, with a forced smile. “You should come over here, meet some people. Important people, if you get what I mean?”

Meeting people was the last thing Eddie wanted to do, in fact he had hoped to get through the evening without speaking to anyone. However, the look on Josh’s face told him that he wasn’t getting out of this one, and with a sigh he nodded, gripping the neck of the beer bottle and slipping from the stool.

“Sure, lead the way.”

Josh ran his mouth as they made their way through the crowds to whatever table they were heading to. Eddie drowned out his voice, even though it was rather difficult given how loud he was, but it suddenly became a whole lot easier when another voice drowned out Josh’s annoying tone. A voice that Eddie would recognise anywhere. He stopped dead in his tracks, eyes locking onto the back of someone he thought he’d never see again.

He was engaged in a conversation with Eddie’s boss and another co-worker, Janet, who was fake smiling and making ridiculous attempts at flirting. Even though Eddie had no right to, a feeling of jealousy built up in his stomach.

Richie.

Eddie stopped walking, freezing in the spot as his brain started providing him with escape routes. Out of all the people that had to be at the function that night, why did it have to be Richie? What did Eddie deserve to be faced with such bad luck?

Sensing that Eddie had stopped following him, Josh turned around with a frown on his face, before grabbing Eddie by the wrist and tugging him forward into the group. The force of the jolt forward sent Eddie flying, knocking him into Richie himself, who also jolted forward, causing Janet’s drink to spill on her fancy blouse.

Serves you right, Janet.

“Woah, easy there-” Richie started at the same time Janet snapped in her high pitched voice, “Fuck sake, Eddie, watch where you’re going!” Which caused Richie to freeze and look down at who exactly had knocked him sideways. Their eyes locked, and just for a second, no-one else at the work gathering mattered but the two of them. Eddie had forgotten just how easy he could get lost in Richie’s eyes.

The moment didn’t last long, thanks to Janet, who pushed Eddie away just a little to fuss over Richie, making sure none of her drink spilled over his fancy three piece suit. “Eddie is new, please don’t let his clumsiness affect anything we were talking about,” she fussed, and Eddie had to roll his eyes at the dramatics of it all.

“Calm down Janet, it was just an accident,” Eddie muttered, taking a much needed step back from Richie, putting distance between them. No matter how far he moved though, the scent of his cologne was stuck in his nostrils. He swallowed, feeling Richie’s eyes on him and Eddie knew if he looked up, he’d see the same confusion and questioning in his eyes that was there the last time they saw one another.

Eddie wasn’t ready to deal with that issue yet. Nope, no way.

Luck was never on his side though, as Josh took that moment to speak up, addressing why he brought Eddie over there in the first place. “Yes, Eddie is our new co-worker, but he should have an equal chance of meeting important people like the rest of us. Eddie, this is one of our companies interested investors, Richie Tozier.”

There was a pregnant pause before Richie smiled and extended his hand for him to take, which Eddie did. A jolt of electricity shot up his arm and he almost pulled back before he remembered everyone watching them. According to all of Eddie’s coworkers, this was the first time he was meeting Richie Tozier, they had no idea just how well the two knew each other.

“Nice to meet you,” Eddie offered, not sure if Richie wanted the group to know they had history.

Just at that moment, the music changed from an upbeat tune to a much slower one and Janet lurched forward, breaking the trance the two of them were under. “Mr Tozier, I love this song. Would you dance with me?” Eddie had to hold back a scoff at how obvious she was being. The company, of course, had chosen her to charm Richie intp signing a contract with them and she was, no doubt, going all out with her given task. It was a little pathetic, really.

Hoping to make a quick exit back to the bar for one last drink before slipping out the back door, Eddie stepped back, only for a hand to be wrapped around his wrist, tugging him back. It was Richie’s hand, of course it was, and there was a look in his eyes that Eddie couldn’t quite place. “Actually, I was hoping Eddie would dance with me, if that’s alright with you?” He asked, eyes never leaving Eddie’s shocked one’s for a second.

Eddie should say no, he should shake his head and tell Richie to dance with Janet, it was her role in all this after all. God, if he said yes Janet would shoot daggers into his back for the next month, at least. The thing was, Eddie didn’t want to say no. Call him selfish all you want, but Eddie wanted to be alone with Richie, even if it was just for a three minute dance. With his mind made up, Eddie nodded his head, allowing Richie to take his hand and lead him to the dance floor.

It wasn’t until Eddie felt Richie’s hand on the small of his back as he pulled him closer for the dance, that he realised his chest was all compressed in panic. The second that Richie’s hand touched him, all the panic faded and it was as though a bubble had formed around the two of them.

“A lawyer’s firm, eh?” Richie broke the silence, his chin settling on top of Eddie’s head. They had only been in each other's presence for ten minutes and they were already falling into their old habits. “I swear, I didn’t know you worked here.”

That caught Eddie off guard and he pulled back to look up at Richie with a confused frown on his face. “What do you mean? I never- I didn’t think you knew I worked here. Why would I think that?”

Richie shrugged a little, looking bashful as he glanced up at the ceiling for a brief moment, “I just wanted you to know that I didn’t...look you up or anything. I didn’t follow you or check up on what you were doing. Even if I wanted to.” He let out a breath. “You made your decision and I respected it.”

Another lump formed in Eddie’s throat and Richie’s words only seemed to add to the confusion. Yes, he had made the decision to end their relationship, but only because Richie was going to end it first. “I don’t understand. Why would you want to check up on me? Or follow me or whatever? You- I did you a favour by ending things first. I knew you were struggling to find a way to do it, so I did it first.”

The look on Richie’s face was nothing less than pure pain as he registered Eddie’s words. He shook his head, “What are you talking about? I wasn’t- who told you I was going to break up with you?”

Eddie froze up a little and he forced himself to think back, way back to when he had overheard the conversation Richie was having with a friend of his. The words were still bitter to think about and his heart hurt. “No-one told me. I heard you. On the phone. You were talking to someone about finding it hard to change your relationship status, and that you had to be really careful. I don’t know about you, Richie, but that screamed of wanting to break up with me. I just- I don’t know why you didn’t just tell me when things stopped working for you. I’d have understood. We weren’t...it wasn’t like we were public or anything.”

Richie blinked a few times and Eddie could see the moment when it all clicked for him. The confused look turned to one of understanding, but instead of looking guilty, Richie looked...overwhelmed.

“Eddie...holy shit...Eds, no. Fuck.” He stopped moving to the music and instead moved the hand that was on the small of Eddie’s back to his hand and took it in his own. “This is too public a place for this conversation. Five minutes, that’s all I need.”

Even if Eddie hadn’t wanted to follow Richie before then, the pleading look in his eyes was all it took for him to nod. He let Richie lead him off the dancefloor, out a door and into a hallway.

“How do you know where you’re going?” Eddie asked softly, letting Richie lead the way through the corridors of the hotel.

“I had a function here myself a while back, got a bit overwhelming so I went to explore,” Richie replied almost immediately, turning one more corner and opening a door that led to a balcony overlooking the city. “Found this place.” He closed the doors behind them, allowing total privacy, and Richie ran a hand through his hair. “I wasn’t going to break up with you.”

Out of all the things Eddie thought Richie was going to say, that was not even in the top ten. He blinked in confusion, looking a RIchie a little skeptically. “Alright, say you weren’t going to break up with me then. What did that statement really mean?”

Richie moved a little closer to Eddie, but not too close that he’d feel trapped. He reached down to take Eddie’s hand in his once more.

“I wanted to ask you to go public with me, Eds.”

Eddie suddenly felt sick to his stomach, as the look in Richie’s eyes, the sincerity, meant that he was telling the truth.

“I was just nervous because we were, as you pointed out earlier, not exclusive. I was technically your sugar daddy and we had sort of made that unspoken agreement that what we had was just...well what we had.” He squeezed Eddie’s hand, just a little bit, a soothing gesture. “Maybe it was just that at first, but then we started hanging out without the sex, we had movie nights and you’d spend the night just...chilling. We’d laugh and tease each other like it was a real relationship and suddenly that was all I wanted it to be. I wanted it to be real, but I was scared that maybe you didn’t want that. Then you broke it off with me and that sort of just...sealed it.”

The silence let Eddie know Richie was done speaking, letting him know it was his turn. His cheeks were burning red with embarrassment and he let out a frustrated groan at his own stupidity.

“I’m such a fucking idiot.” Eddie tried to step back, but Richie still had hold of his hand, keeping him grounded. “I’m such a fucking idiot, I was so caught up in thinking that you didn’t want to be with me anymore that I didn’t see the signs that maybe it was the total opposite. I can’t believe that I was that much of an idiot that I ruined the best thing I had in my life.” He looked up at Richie then, his eyes filling with tears, “Because you were, you were the best thing I had in my life. Nothing ever compared to the way you made me feel- make me feel- because I’m still crazy in love with you-”

Eddie didn’t get to finish his declaration of love as Richie swooped in fast, his arms securing themselves around Eddie’s waist as he hauled him forward, bringing their lips together in a long overdue kiss. A squeak of surprise left Eddie’s lips before it was replaced with a soft moan, his hands reaching up from where they were handing by his sides and weaving into Richie’s hair. It was just like the dreams Eddie had been having for months, except this time it wasn’t.

They pulled away after a few moments, the need to breathe too much to ignore and Eddie fell back onto his heels. Damn Richie and his height. Richie was grinning, tears clear in his eyes from behind his glasses. “I love you, too. I always have. You’re my perfect match and these six months without you? They’ve been torture.”

“I’m sorry,” Eddie breathed, his fingers clutching at the curls on the back of Richie’s neck. “I’m sorry for fucking up so badly and jumping to conclusions. I’m sorry for not just talking to you about it instead of...you know.”

Richie just shook his head and leaned down to press another, more gentle, kiss to Eddie’s lips.

“We can talk about it, over dinner maybe?” Richie suggested, a hand moving to cup Eddie’s cheek, thumb running over the skin under his eye. “We can discuss everything, lay all our cards on the table. What do you think?”

It was a good idea for them to talk it out before jumping into something with one another again, yet Eddie didn’t want to wait until the next night after dinner for Richie to take him to bed. He’d been without him for six months and now he knew Richie didn’t want to end their relationship and that he loved him, Eddie didn’t want to wait any longer. “I think it’s a great idea,” he breathed, moving his head up to Richie’s ear. “But...I also really want you to take me home,” he whispered and then added, just for clarification. “To your home.”

* * * * *

Richie’s apartment was just like Eddie remembered it, open space and filled with life. He hadn’t had the chance to properly look around the night before, his mind...and body both otherwise preoccupied. Now he was awake though, the bed next to him empty but still warm, which meant Richie hadn’t long since woke up.

Eddie sat up, stretching and groaning as his bones cracked before he climbed out of bed. He grabbed his underwear from the bedroom floor before pulling out one of Richie’s shirts from his drawer. As Eddie stepped out of the room, he could hear Richie’s voice filtering in from the kitchen area, clearly speaking to someone on the phone. He edged closer, peeking his head around the corner, and right enough Richie was on his phone, pacing back and forth.

“Something came up, but I’d be happy to meet with you on Monday morning, at the office,” Richie spoke. “We can talk business and sign contracts.” He looked up then, eyes meeting Eddie’s from across the room and he broke into a smile. “Mhm, yes that makes sense,” he spoke into his phone whilst beckoning Eddie closer with his finger.

With his own, equally large grin on his face, Eddie moved closer and stepped between Richie’s legs as he continued his call. The body heat was welcome and Eddie curled back into Richie’s embrace, taking a piece of toast from the plate in front of them and taking a bite.

“I have to go, I have other business to attend to. I’ll be at the office on Monday morning, 9am sharp and we can talk.” Richie hummed and the voice on the other end, muffled back before the call ended and the phone was shoved into Richie’s pocket. “Stealing my breakfast?”

“If you’re not fast, you’re last,” Eddie shrugged, dramatically taking another bite of the toast. “Was that my boss?” He asked.

Richie nodded, running a hand through his curls, curls that Eddie had messed up the night before. He shuddered and the memory. “Your boss is quite...forward. He wasn’t happy I ditched the party last night.” Richie shoved more toast into the toaster and set the timer, turning back to Eddie. “Do you have somewhere to be today?”

“Not unless you do,” Eddie hummed, wrapping his arms around Richie’s waist, seeking more of his body heat. “Anyway, aren’t we going out for dinner? To talk and stuff?” He looked up just as Richie looked down, their eyes meeting for a brief moment before Richie closed the distance with a soft kiss. “Mhm, morning.”

“Morning,” Richie breathed back, spinning Eddie around so he was pressed up against the counter. “Fuck I missed you, I missed you so much.”

Eddie’s stomach clenched, his eyes softening almost immediately as he glanced towards the floor in embarrassment. It was his fault after all, his fault that Richie had to miss him in the first place. He felt Richie’s fingers under his chin, tilting his head up so their eyes locked.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Richie spoke softly. “Please stop?” His head tilted to the side, curls falling loose and into his face. Eddie thought he was the most handsome man he’d even laid his eyes on. “Come back to bed?”

Richie stepped back and held out his hand, allowing Eddie to turn him down if he wanted to, always giving him that choice. Instead of Eddie’s stomach clenching in a bad way, this time it clenched in anticipation with what was to come.

Yes, they had to talk, sit down and have a conversation about their relationship and what they both wanted. Eddie was going to have to communicate with Richie, tell him everything about his past and why he had thought he was going to break up with him in the first place. The thought was terrifying, but Eddie wanted nothing more than to let Richie get to know him completely.

All that could wait though, until later.

Eddie smiled, reaching his hand out to take Richie’s, letting him lead him back to the bedroom, kicking the door closed behind him.

* * * * *

taglist

@s-s-georgie @richietoaster @jessiohhh @gazebobullshit @eds-trashmouth @thingsilike-08 @thoughtfullyyoungduck @stellar-alley @yallreddieforthis @lgbtqmads @ambitiousskychild @reddieonwheels @moonlightrichie @that-damn-clown-movie @ghostnebula @care-bear13 @madidraw @pieofepicness @transbuckaroo @vanillaredvelvet @toziertool @femmereddie @itchytoaster @eddiesasspbrak @eduardo-andale-lets-go @pinkmedusa6 @kmcarras @bowtiescarves @greetingsfromderrymaine @eduardoandale @waterflowrr @jojobeaner @mahanawhonahan @dinolaur @viciousmaukeries @sunshines-fabulous-legs @reddie-forever @sophiac356 @are-you-reddie-for-it @liilaac @no-she-wasnt-reddie @gaymoonfan @selma318697 @reddie-4-more @ratbird0917 @adhdtozier @tozierpunks

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #my writing #amy writes

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wouldduskwood · 3 years

Text

Descendants of Despair Part 53

As I lay beside Jake, my breathing returned to normal and the crawling feeling had been replaced with the warmth of his touch. I thought about just how much I had changed. Dan had hit a raw spot when he had hinted at my weakness. I had been strong for so long, so long I couldn’t even remember a time where resilience and survival wasn’t a driving force in my life. Jake had helped tame that to an extent. I could rely on him to pick up on the things that I may miss otherwise. I had wondered if it meant I was getting weak. Dan’s words reiterated those concerns. But now I saw my behaviour for what it really was. Allowing someone into my world had not made me weak, instead it had made me stronger. His strength became my strength. Relying on him wasn’t weak, it was right. I didn’t have to manipulate him to get him to do what I needed. I didn’t have to question whether he was manipulating me. He had seen me at my worst and still loved me. I could be my true self, and that was something I don’t think I had ever really seen before. The true self that allowed myself to feel, to trust, to love...to be vulnerable. As I drifted off to sleep, I contented myself with the thought that I had been strong enough to lay Dan on his ass without hesitation. My instincts were still there, as strong as always.

I startled awake relatively early to the light from the dimly lit lamp. The softness of the bed and comfort of the room was unnerving. I felt as though it was lowering my defenses. Jake was already awake as well, holding me lightly but staring at the ceiling in quiet contemplation. “It’s weird, isn’t it?” I asked quietly. Jake nodded thoughtfully. “I guess discomfort has become comfortable to us?” he questioned and sighed. “I should be happy, we had an amazing night...I slept in more comfort than I have in a long time, yet somehow it just doesn’t feel right.” “Check your laptop,” I murmured, sitting myself up on the comfortable bed, noting vaguely that my muscles didn’t hurt as much as they did when I slept on the floor, or the sidewalk, or the riverbank. It should have felt great, instead it just increased my level of unease. I got up with Jake and we got dressed, then I began pacing back and forth. I was hungry, we hadn’t eaten since yesterday before meeting up with Dan. Glancing around the room, I picked up my backpack and looked inside for anything of substance. As I scavenged, Jake appeared beside me and handed me an energy bar. “I grabbed a couple of these from the car last night. Thought we might need something. We can get some proper breakfast after I have checked where we are at,” he said as he opened his own bar and began chewing on it.

I accepted Jake’s offer thankfully, and began eating, sitting close to him, watching what he was doing on the laptop screen. Because his laptop was so limited, he flicked from screen to screen at near lightning speed. I wasn’t sure how he was keeping up with everything that was going on, but he seemed pretty sure of himself so I just sat and watched in admiration, trying to pick up strings of code that I could recognise. “Hm,” I mumbled quietly. “Yes?” Jake asked, pausing briefly in his screen flicking and typing. “Nothing, just...you’re still keeping track of Richy?” I asked. “You saw that, huh?” Jake replied. I was about to apologise for intruding into his private world when he continued speaking. “Well done, I am impressed. You know a fair bit about programming to pick up on that from the small strings you must have seen.” I shrugged in embarrassment. I was hardly a hacker of his calibre. “You don’t mind me watching?” I asked in wonder. Jake’s response shocked me as he began to laugh.

I glared at him as he turned to face me, shaking his head to try and gain control of himself. “Here’s the thing,” he replied soothingly. “I love you and I trust you. Usually my trust in people is based on what I have been able to dig up about them online. Not with you, you are a blank entity online. Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is, my reaction to you hadn’t made sense until I decided that you were made for me, as dumb as that sounds, I think of you as a soulmate...if they were to exist. Because you are truly part of me, I have made everything I do part of you as well. You have full access to my set up remember? You also have full access to my phone through yours. Everything I am, it is you.”

Jake’s response made me happy. I was thinking and feeling along the same lines as him. I still wasn’t as comfortable at admitting it as he was, so turned away from his gaze and then pouted as he giggled at my reaction. “It’s okay, you don’t have to say it, I know how much you love me,” he replied smugly. I growled under my breath then leaped on him, but he was already expecting my response and caught me with a grin. “Okay, maybe we should get you some proper food eh?” he asked, trying to stifle his giggles. “Urgh,” I groaned. Jake closed his laptop and packed it in a bag then motioned for me to gather my gear as well. I knew he was doing this just so that he could save me from further embarrassment, but I appreciated it nonetheless. If we stayed here much longer, I knew the walls would begin to close in around me. This often happened when I was stuck in small spaces for long periods of time. There were very few escape routes from enclosed spaces.

Once we had cleared out the motel room of our personal belongings, we dropped the key on the table then put our hoods up and left. It was too early to head to meet up with Dan, so we had a little time to fill in before we would need to head back to the prison. “Let’s go through a drive thru,” Jake suggested. “Then we can decide on our next steps.” I nodded in relief. The prospect of food, even takeaway food, was appealing and being able to stay with Jake and hash out future moves was even better.

The first drive thru we saw, Jake pulled in and we argued briefly over the least disgusting options from the menu before both deciding on our breakfast. Jake pulled up to the window with his head down, we paid, got our order and left. I picked up my bag and sniffed it in mild disgust. Jake glanced at me and grinned. “Okay, I know, not the best but at least it's something.” I raised an eyebrow as I pulled my breakfast muffin from the bag. “...is it though?...” I asked. Jake laughed as he pulled the car over near a deserted park. “Okay, gross food is still food,” he grinned as he dug into his bag and began to eat. I had to admit, gross take away food certainly was better than no food at all. I had gotten accustomed to healthier eating since leaving the street. I was sick of always getting sick and I wanted to maintain my physical health...it is far easier to run when you aren’t ill or unfit.

“So, the plan?” Jake asked. “I take it there is a bit more to it than the simple stuff you gave the buffoon.” I snickered in response then became angry at myself so nudged Jake with my elbow. “Sorry,” he responded with a sly grin, no doubt relishing in my slip up. “Yeah, you need to have the cameras going, follow everything outside. If something happens, you need to get a signal to me without digital means. I can’t take my phone in with me, they will confiscate it until I leave and I would rather they had no access to it at all. I’m assuming Dan will have his, but again we won’t have access to it while in there.” I paused to take a breath and have a sip of water. Jake was thoughtful for a moment.

“Okay, the programme you installed that gave me access to their system also gave me access to their alarms. If something happens, I will set off some form of alarm, nothing major that would cause a lockdown, but enough of a distraction that you can get out and hopefully it will draw the man without a face away.”

“Wow…” I gasped, suddenly impressed. He had solved the issue so quickly. I guessed when he had seen his chance to take control of their security, he had made sure he had as much control as he could. “Fuck Jake, you’re incredible!” I declared earnestly. “Uh...there is one other thing I want to do before we go. I may not get time after...I want to take down the traps on the roofs, in case an unsuspecting person gets hurt. I also want to look at whether the trap was tampered with on the roof the man without a face was waiting on.” I requested hesitantly. I knew I’d be by myself up there and Jake wouldn’t be thrilled with the idea. “I can’t stop it from happening can I?” Jake asked sadly. “No, not this time. It’s important to me.” I replied bluntly. We didn’t need someone harmed because of us. If the Police found any trace of it, it would just be another reason for them to be chasing us. Not something I was willing to risk. The main drive though was because I was frustrated with not being able to understand how the man without a face had gotten past our defenses. The more I knew about him the better. “Okay, but this time I’m coming too. We will park as far away as we can, where there is access to the roofing around that area. Do you agree?” I thought for a moment, glaring at him intently. “Ugh, fine. But you keep your face hidden the entire time. You dismantle any cameras around the area first and if there is anybody looking at you, you go!” I replied in an attempt at compromise. Jake nodded solemnly and started the car.

Part 54

#duskwood jake x #duskwood jakexplayer #duskwood jake x player #duskwood jake x mc #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood fanfic #duskwood jakexmc fanfic #duskwood #duskwood jakexmc #fanfiction #fanfic #duskwood jake #jake x mc #jakexmc #hackerman

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potatosoldier · 3 years

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Are you still there?

/Part 7/

I am hot, I am sweaty, and I am crammed into a small cot surrounded by equally sweaty men. It was the 6th of September, and we had just boarded the Great Samaria a few hours ago. We were now on a journey to Europe.

How they managed to jam us into this ship, I have no clue. It isn’t like there is 20 men over the capacity of this ship. No, this ship was made for 1000 passengers and now there were 5000 men from the 506th shoved in. I could have made the choice and went to the officers and made my stay there, I want to be near the men.

“Joe, darling, your shoulders are like barn doors, I can’t fit”

Oh yes, as the passenger count was so high, the cots were shared by two soldiers. I was sharing with Joe. At first I also considered going to Skip, but then I came to a conclusion that I could stand Joe’s singing in this suppressed place, but listening to Skip talk non-stop would make me an irritable person. And I truly did not want to become that. These men are my companions and I want to treat the with the respect they deserve. I did not have the right to become rude even in these circumstances.

Also, if I was put too high, Bull would have to carry me around like a baby monkey.

“For God’s sake, just turn the other way”, Joe grunts as I try to maneuver myself without jostling the cot too much.

“Joe, please move”, I whine and try to push him. He rasps and looks at me teasing smile on his lips.

“you wanna continue trying, Bambi”, he teases. I scrunch my brows and pout. Why did he have to make this so difficult. Then I put on my most motherly glare. “Joseph Toye, this is not how you should behave”, I scold.

He chuckles once again, but proceeds to move over so I’m finally able to fit in next to him on the cot. It was a tight squeeze, both of us were on top of the bed springs, but we tried to be so that it’s the least uncomfortable. Physically and mentally.

“So you told Muck, huh?”, he whispers once we are in and he hears Skip talking while making his way around the ship. I nod as we both look at the cot above us. “You sure that was a good idea?”, he asks. I could hear in his voice that he didn’t doubt Skip personally, but he was just checking in.

I smile. “He has been good to me since I came here, He won’t betray me now. And it does feel good to let it out”, I tell. He nods.

“So, what do you think about going to Europe?”, he asks. I shrug. “I’m glad I’m here, maybe we can speed up the process of ending this war and Matias and dad can go back home”, I answer. Matias was my older brother. I think he is the reason I’m so fond of Skip and Luz, Matias was such a jokester too. It broke my heart to think of him out there somewhere, fighting for his life.

“I’m glad we’re going to Europe too. Hitler gets one of these right across the windpipe, Roosevelt changes Thanksgiving to Joe Toye Day and 10,000 a year for the rest of my fucking life”, he says in a much louder voice.

I look at him trying not to laugh. “Joe, I promise I’ll celebrate Joe Toye Day from now on even if you don’t succeed”, I manage to say without laughing.

“What if we don’t get to Europe, what if they send us to North Africa”, Smokey points out from above us.

The conversation doesn’t awfully concern me, till I hear these words: “ I like Winters, he is a good man. But when bullets start flying, I don’t know if I want a Quaker doing my fighting for me”

My head turns sharply up towards Bill’s bed. My blood starts running cold with the rage I’m feeling. He had the audacity to condemn someone by their religion and to add to that doubt MY husbands skills in combat.

“How do you know he’s a Quaker?”

“He ain’t Catholic”

I’m about to jump up and teach the boy some manners when, Joe apparently notices my open mouth and shoves my head under a blanket. And by shoving, I mean shoving. Nothing gentle about it. I can only imagine the looks people are throwing at us.

“Okay Bambi up we go” he then says and starts lifting me up, my head still covered. I can hear Liebgott and Bill still having a spat and am about to turn to go towards the noise, but Joe keeps me covered till we are away from the scene.

“You need some fresh air, you angry hedgehog, to he deck we go”, Joe says and pushes people around to make us way forward. He really saved me from making a mistake.

With Richard

The Boat was far from comfortable, that was the only thing Richard Winters would say to the circumstances at hand. Last time he had been this hot, was while running in full gear in Toccoa.

“They really filled this Troop ship to the brink”, Lewis says looking just as sweaty as his friend. “If I’m going to be this hot, I’d rather have 5000 ladies here. At least there would be something to look at”, Nix says.

“Yeah, and by the time you’d make it to your destination they’d have eaten you alive, after finding out about Kathy”, Dick teases. Keeping your mind light in situations like this was the key to keeping your head together. His friend had his own lightness hidden in Dick’s footlocker.

Lewis let’s out his trademark chuckle. “Easy for you to say”, he snarks back. Dick knows exactly what he means. It was easy for Dick to judge other men for seeking affection because his own wife was there.

Dick only looks at his friend with a dry look and they remain silent for a while.

“Never thought this day would actually come, of course I knew it was coming, but hell we’ve come a long way”, Nix says and takes a swig from his flask. Dick lets out a small huff. It really was a miracle that Sobel hadn’t found some way to get rid off them.

“You think we can make it Nix, back home I mean”, Dick asks thoughtfully and plays with his fingers. It was a curious question, not one of sadness or fear.

“That’s not for us to decide, but hey I’ll drink to the thought of seeing your children some day”; he says raising his flask in what was supposed to be a happy remark, but when he sees Dick’s face, all the happiness goes away.

He furrows his brows and looks at his friend more closely. “You okay Dick?”, he asks while still studying his now pale friend. Dick just continues looking ahead like he was not there at all.

“Yeah, Nix, I’m okay”, he finally whispers and they drop the topic replacing it with silence.

Sonja / Day 3 on the Samaria/

“Better out than in, there we go”, George says as he brushes some of my hair back. I had been throwing up for the last two hours. I wasn’t sure was it the sea or the smell of the fish soup that made me so nauseous.

“I fe- ugh”, I puke again in the middle of my sentence. I was not the only one throwing up, no. But I felt very embarrassed to be in this situation. I was a nurse, not a patient.

Suddenly a pounding of boots is heard and I feel someone place themselves on the other side of me. “There we go, a Hershey bar for the lady. Got it from Winters, tried scrounging and he was kind enough to offer when he passed”, Skip says as he opens the wrapper for me.

And what I can take from his story is that, that he went to tell Richard I’m unwell and Richard gave him the bar.

“Thank you”, I whisper and take the piece Skip snaps me. Luz takes the bucket from my hands and gives water to rinse my mouth. “For a small lady, you sure puke your guts out like a grown man”, Luz teases.

“Shut up, I’m only three inches shorter than you”, I grumble and lean against him while savoring the chocolate to get the taste of vomit out. He only chuckles and makes a mocking “UGH” noise.

“Thank you boys for getting me out, I thought Joe was going to kill me”,I giggle softly. They both huff in laughter. “I mean you did puke on his chest”, Skip points out. I grimace, that I sure did. His chest and neck where running with fish soup after I retched on him.

“Someone get her a bucket, fucking hell, if someone isn’t gonna help her, Imma kill every fucking one of you”

“Skip, go get us some cards, I don’t think she can handle the sweat level yet”, George says as he strokes my back, as I gag again a little.

How long was I going to be stuck on this boat.

----------------------

The night was awful, I felt sickly and I noticed that Joe was turning more than usual, probably because of the back pain. We were lucky enough to fit on the cot so that we could both sleep in it, but nothing seemed to get me catch sleep. I was afraid of throwing up again.

“Nurse”, I hear a whisper. I jump and look up. Even in the dim lighting I can recognize my husband. I carefully stand without jostling Joe too much, and gently put the blanket on him again, after raising it up a little to get a little cool air on him.

“Yes sir?”,I ask professionally as I stand before Richard. He just nods his head towards the deck.

As we make it to the deck we quickly and quietly find a corner with no one sleeping in it. He takes a look around and has a seat. Before taking something out from his pocket: chocolate.

“Richard, you don’t have a sweet tooth, how do you have all these”;I ask looking at him oddly.

“I got this from Nix, he was willing to sacrifice it for I quote ‘holy business’“, I giggle at my husbands expression as he quotes Lewis. I take the bar from him and put it next to me. I honestly felt too sickly to eat it now.

I look at Dick biting my lip. He seems to notice the softness in my gaze as he utters a gentle “come here”, and gently guides me to lay my upper body onto his legs.

“Don’t worry, darling. I can keep watch, and if they ask more, I can say that I was just looking out for you as your officer”, he soothes and rubs his hand along my arms. Which feels amazing on my sore muscles.

“I think it’s time to tell the men soon anyway. They need to get used to the idea before we jump, and I think that they know you well enough to not judge you”, he then brings up. I nod against his leg, this living in secrecy was starting to become more and more difficult.

I then squeeze my eyes shut as nausea takes over me. “Richie I think I might puke”,I whimper. I always got very stressed when I had nausea, and sensitive. “I don’t wanna puke on you”,I say and try to rise, but in all honestly rising just made it worse.

Richard guides me back gently. “If you puke on me, then you do. Don’t worry about that. Let’s just get you comfortable”

----------------------

On the 15th of September we finally made it to Liverpool. I was still quite pale after the ride. Eating had really become a task, and without food, you lose strength. But with the threats from Joe and gentle urging from Carwood Lipton, I was able to get food down.

“You feelin’ good ma’am?”, comes a familiar Arkansas drawl as I give a happy sigh to be on the steady ground. I chuckle “Aye, sir, better than ever”, I say teasingly. He mock salutes me and we start walking for our shelter for the night.

I walk on Joe’s side keeping a firm hold of his sleeve as I had been told by Lip.

“We don’t want you getting lost, you are harder to find than most of us”

At first I had wanted to tell him that I am a grown woman with military training, but his truly caring gaze changed my plans. If I could express in words, how thankful I was for that mans care I would shout it at his too humble face. Okay, these boys are really rubbing off on me, I wouldn’t shout, maybe gently lecture.

Tomorrow we would be going to our final destination.

-------------------

Aldbourne was vastly different from all the places I’ve had my training and from what the men told me, it was also very different to them. We were in the middle of a village! We could actually see other people.

“Come on Sonja, please, please please”, Skip was begging on his knees. We had gotten our passes to go to Swindon for a Saturday night dance this weekend. The boys were all excited about being able to go and actually getting the passes this time.

“Skip, you know I get uncomfortable with many people, also it’ll be nice to have some time alone”, I try to reason as he keeps pushing my skirt and blouse towards my hands.

He looks at me with his green puppy eyes. “please, Bambi, for me, Joe is coming too. Aren’t you? Hear that Joe is there too”, he begs. I sigh and look at both of them.

“Okay, but when I say want to come back, I will”, I say pointing at him.

“Yes!!”

-------------------

I didn’t put on my skirt and blouse, instead I took out my light blue swing dress and let my hair down. It was nice to feel girly again, and actually have a reason to get dolled up. That was not the best part, the best part was actually putting my wedding ring onto my finger. I gave a small kiss to my cross and said a little prayer of gratitude before going to the boys.

The boys were happy to have me, their lady with them.

“Your husband is one lucky bastard”. George had said when he saw me. Bull had even blushed when I gave him a kiss on the cheek as thanks for helping me with my jacket.

All the girls in the dance were dolled up too. I found the music in there absolutely delightful. It might have not been completely in my taste, but I appreciate it nonetheless. Also the sound of shoes clapping against the floor was beautifully relaxing.

“Would my lady like to dance?”, Skip asks bowing at the waste. I shake my head at his antics but take his hand none the less. And boy did I make a mistake. I was tosses from Skip to George, to Bull, to Joe, to Don (who mind you, was an excellent dancer!) and god knows who. The Easy boys really decided to hit the floor.

Once I was able to make a run from them, I found Joe drinking a beer at one of the tables. “You having fun?”; he asks and takes a long sip. I nod and smile widely.

“I can’t remember the last time I’ve been able to dance so much! But I do wonder”, I bite my lip. “Am I a bad person to be here, without Richard?”; I whisper.

Joe shakes his head. “You’re too good for this world. There ain’t nothing wrong with you being here. He trusts you and you trust him. And hell, you were giggling like a school girl when you realized you still had time to go to him after this. You aren’t committing any sin”, he soothes with a little teasing making me blush.

Who can blame me, I just want to grab my Robert Burns poems and go read with Richards head on my lap. Was that really too much to ask for? He was my husband.

We continue our conversation, with me sipping a cup of water, until I hear a similar interruption as in the boat.

Bill and Skinny make it to our table chatting. “He might be a good man, but Quakers aren’t meant for this shit” My patience had been running thin with these comments for so long and now my patience was all run out.

“He is not a Quaker”, I snap. Bill turns to me with an odd look on his face.

“And how do you know that Bambi”, many of the Easy men were now near our table from hearing my raised voice.

I don’t know what made it come out of my mouth, but this did anyway: “If my husband was a Quaker I think I’d be the one who knows that and not you”

I quickly realize what I said and plant my palm against my face, trying to remember how to breathe. I hear Joe sigh from next to me: “Well, now you fucking said it”

@iilovemusic12us

@georgeparisole

#dick winters x reader #dick winters #richard winters x reader #richard winters #band of brothers oc #band of brothers imagines #Band of brothers #lewis nixon #carwood lipton #george luz #skip muck #warren muck #bull randleman #bill guarnere

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duskwoodloversblog · 4 years

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Hey guys!!Hope you enjoy this fiction!❤️ Please don't mind if there is any mistakes,let me know how you like it!🥰❤️❤️

Fanfic JakexFeMC

After searching for one whole month we finally found Hannah,I am so happy,but there are people who are happier than me,Thomas,Cleo, Lilly,and Jake.I know to everyone it was all like a nightmare,but to me it was something special.I found some wonderful friends, friends that I felt a strong connection to, Everyone has gone back to normal,Hannah and Thomas solved all the misunderstanding they had and got back together,Lilly apologized to me,I forgave her,I totally understand why she did what she did,I still talk to Jessy,Richy and Dan.They are amazing.The only person I miss is Jake, he's gone,I don't know where right after we found Hannah I got a text from him saying "Thank you for helping,but we can't be together, it's dangerous",it broke my heart completely,when I thought that finally I could talk to him without having to worry about finding Hannah he was just gone,Jake removed all the messages,and even his number from my phone.I knew finding him was impossible if he didn't want me to find him,Im mad at him,he just used me to find his sister and just left with just a message.Everyday I think about him,think how's he doing,is he's fine,is he safe? finally I remember that I wrote down his number in a notebook while studying just in case.So,I run to my table and start searching for the notebook."There it is" I type the number and call Jake,I knew he probably wouldn't answer but my heart was still racing.He picked up the phone,but wasn't answering.I got so mad and said "What's wrong with you?How could you just use me to find your sister and leave?you know how much I like you and you still. Just left me,after talking and working together, going through all this together you just leave a message?are you kidding me?" (You say crying and cut the call) I'm so mad right now,I'm never going to call him ever again,if he doesn't care about me I don't have to care about him either.(You decide to take a nap because you feel really tired after such a long day, it's midnight and you wake up hearing knocks on your door) "Who is it at this time?" (You open the door and see a hooded man standing in front of you,your eyes widen up and you feel yourself shaking)

(Y/N):J..Jake?...

Jake:Hi (Y/N)

(Y/N):What are you doing here?how do you know I live here?

Jake:May I come in first,if you don't mind?

(Y/N):Yes,of course.Come in.

Jake:Thank you,I traced you by your phone number,I'm sorry.

(If it was someone else you would be mad but it's Jake and right now it doesn't matter)

(Y/N): It's ok...

Jake:Look...I'm sorry (Y/N),I know it's hard to believe but it's dangerous, it's dangerous for you to be with me,you really need understand that.

(You feel anger again coming through you veins)

(Y/N):What is so dangerous Jake?Is it even more dangerous than what we went through?is it more dangerous than an old legend coming behind us? trying to kill us?After we went through so much together how could imagine that you can just leave me saying it's dangerous?!Do you know what?you don't even care,I'm just still a girl who's number you got from your sister and you needed me find to find her and now she's home so you don't need me anymore so you're leaving and that's IT!

(you said these rapidly without stopping and Jake listened to you amazed)

Jake: ...

(Y/N):Yes,now you stay quiet, Because you have NOTHING to say,you know what I just said is true.

(You try to leave the room and Jake pulls your wrist and before you could understand you felt his lips on yours.He's holding your hip by his left hand and his right hand in on your cheek.Your hands are around his shoulder, it's a soft kiss but it was the most beautiful moment of your life,it was a moment you dreamed about.)

Jake:I know how much you don't like to be wrong,but you are.I could never use you for just to find Hannah,I would never do anything that would hurt you,Yes my intention was for find Hannah at first but then I found you,you changed my life completely,you gave me hope,you made me laugh when I was lost,you came to my dark world and delighted it with your light.How could you imagine that I just used you?

(You listen to Jake amazed and surprised,you never imagined that Jake would say anything like this,the only thing you wanted to do this kiss him,so you pull him shirt and press your lips on his.)

This time it was more passionate, Because you both wanted it and felt it,there was no hesitation,no doubt there was just love,love for each other.

(You put your head against his when you run out of air)

Jake:(Y/N)...?

(Y/N):Yes?(Your voice shakes a little)

Jake:I love you,more than anything.

(Y/N):I love you too.

@introvertinthecorner @incorrectduskwood @lovehugsandhackers @loonalullaby @duskwoodraven @duskwood-fandom @jakeduskwood @hacker-ghost @hacked-by-jake @captainwanderlust78 @nerdinthecorner

#duskwood everbyte #jake x mc duskwood #fiction #mc x jake #fanfiction #everbyte studios #everbyte duskwood #duskwood jake #stories

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jonah-aesthetic · 3 years

Text

That One pt. 4 I Jonah Marais

Jonah Marais X Reader / Ivette X Daniel Seavey

Plot: Jonah escorts the reader to the gala finding out the pull to her wasn’t one sided.

Word count: 6.0k+

Author’s Note: I really struggled with this piece but I got her done! It’s been almost two weeks and I’m happy I got it finished. The piece is a whole roller coaster so enjoy!

Rating: 16+

One Two Three

--------

The sapphire dress was pulling tight around the small of your waist to your bust. The sleeves were circling your upper arms and resting just below your shoulders. The skirt of your gown flared at your hips lightly and continued to cascade upon the floor. There was a slit in the left side of the blue skirt reaching your high thigh.

Most of the day was spent with Ivette pampering yourselves for the gala that was taking place tonight. When you both came back Ivette’s entire team had been waiting in the den impatiently. Caroline a blonde stylist rolled her racks of shoes and jewellery. Aurora a brown skinned British hair stylist with a curling wand glued to her waist. Gamila an Arabic Makeup artist itching to use her brushes.

Together they made an incredible team and you knew why Ivette always picked them for her events. Aurora respected your request for a simple hair style and only vaguely curled it into soft loops. Gamila created a stunning blue cut crease smokey eye look that colour matched your gown. Caroline picked silver heels that went with your gown like a perfect combination.

The wounds on the tops of your feet had officially healed perfectly into light scars. You were now ready to slip into a pair of heels without wincing in pain. Just in time for the gala.

Staring at yourself in the body length mirror resting in Ivette’s bedroom. You could hear the fashion team bonding out in the den as if they did projects together often. It blew you away at how they could make you look like a Richie in a few hours of work. You didn’t know if you enjoyed the view or despised it.

You watch your best friend’s head pop in pass the door frame. A proud smile stretching onto her red lips, “He picked a good dress, fits you like a second skin.” Her voice light as she came into the room hands resting behind her back out of view. Her black gown flowing around her body like the damn dress was made of her. Scratch that the dress was definitely made for her.

“I knew Daniel was a scheming little devil, but you? I trusted you.” You playfully narrow your eyes at her in fake accusation. She shrugs and the gown follows the movement. It was parallel to her personality, a stunning jet black gown. A deep ‘V’ neck ran down the front and kissed the waist band. Revealing the curves of both her breasts, and circled her shoulder into a long sleeve. The skirt of the gown flared and parted in the middle, the slit reaching her thighs.

“Just give him a chance he’s a good guy.” You turned around and faced her, taking a step back not realised how close she was.

“I’ll think about it as soon you stop doubt Mr. Drummer.” Her face falls at that,

“I brought a gift.” Her voice optimistic as Ivette steered from the topic of the man in question.

“I know. Did you really think I didn’t notice your hands hiding behind your back the entire time you’ve been in here?”

“It was worth a try.” She playfully says pulling her hands front behind her. A dainty crown immersed in diamonds sat into the palms of her hands. Your heart beamed recognising the head piece instantly wanting to melt in the presence of it.

“It’s a replica of the crown Harlow Reed wears in the book to movie adaptation of The Redemption Of The Wolf. This gala is the closest thing to ball and I don’t think you’d be complete without this.” Ivette’s eyes were hopeful as she offers the crown to you.

Your hands were claps to your lips holding the excited shock you wanted to let out. The chilling accuracy of the diamond placement and the detailing in the swirls. Almost made your blood run cold, you could’ve swore this was the exact crown Mavren gave Harlow as a piece offering.

“How much was that?” Were the first words to spill from your tongue. Ivette gives you a bored look saying ‘Really I’m offering a prop from your favourite book series. And that’s what you ask?’

“Come nerd, Aurora is itching to thread it into your hair.” Ivette links her arm in yours guiding you out of the room.

-----

The overwhelming aroma of the gala made you excuse yourself from your table, leaving Ivette, Daniel, Jonah, and Corbyn behind. the contents in your stomach was threaten to pass your lips. A tightening sensation pulsed in your abdomen as you reached the most expensive ladies room. The main door blurred out most of the suffocating noise of people.

You rushed for the first open stall, shutting the door you realised it was more of a mini room then a stall. Locking the knob you could finally hear your own breathing letting the sound of it calm you down. It’s been years since your last panic attack. At first it didn’t click in your brain that you were having one. Must of been the reason why Ivette kept asking if you were okay, she knew.

You were laughing and in deep conversation and all of a sudden it dawned on you. The loud noise of many people and the rumble of the music, you began to suffocate in your mind as your body heated at the first sign of panic. The shine of the slowly spinning car in the middle of the room made your breathe quicken and bile raise in your throat.

Back pressing against the door you slid to the floor and paced your breathing pattern. How did Ivette live and survive a life style like this? You couldn’t last a few hours without wanting to throw up and go home.This was a horrible fucking idea, you didn’t belong here with all these high held people who knew they could afford that car without a dent. A car like that would cost your entire life and some.

You wondered if Jonah and Ivette would notice if you slipped out the door and into your bed?

You closed your eyes pretending to wrap your hand around a paint brush and create a new story. It surprisingly helped with negative feelings like this. Wasn’t long before your heart slowed and your body heat regulated. Gathering yourself on your feet you unlocked the door and headed for the sinks. You looked as if you didn’t experience a panic attack on the floor of the bathroom. You were fucking grateful.

Not a single crinkle creased into the skirt of the gown. The crown threaded into your hair never loosened nor was a strand of hair out of place. Ivette was right this was the closet you were going to get to a ball and it was damn close. although you never anticipated your fear reaching the surface. You weren’t Harlow, she was a badass with a dagger and you were....well you. As much as you wanted to be something from a fantasy novel you had to be patient with yourself.

“Not all of us were made for this life.” The sickly sweet voice had you twirling around. Julie stood there wearing a delicate pastel green gown gasping the aesthetic of princess Tiana perfectly. Confidence oozed out of her pores as she took in your entire outfit. “I must say you do look the part, but your expression tells me you’re overwhelmed.” She says watching your vulnerable presence fumble for words.

“Once you’re sucked into this life everyone knows your business. Enjoy the normalcy while you can.” Julie says not letting you grab onto words to share with her. As quick as she came Julie disappeared behind a bathroom door leaving you confused. Was that a threat or a warning.

Shaking the entire encounter away you catch the door handle in your hand. Stepping out you collide with another body, embarrassment gathering in your cheeks you’re about to apologised. But Jonah’s green wolf eyes catch your glance and you sigh. The plan to sneak away without catching their attention flew out the window.

Massive hands rested on your bare shoulders to stead your wobbling form. Familiar warmth bloomed against your skin. Beginning to travel down to your wrists, caressed the wings of your shoulder blades. You fought the instinct to shudder under his comforting touch. Your body reacted to him in such a way you didn’t want to admit.

Concern was carved into his eyebrows. “Are you okay?” His voice was chillingly gentle, Ivette must of told him.

“Yes, I just needed to use the rest room.” You cleared your throat with a forced grin that never reached your ears. “You sure?” He softly pressed with an expression that was unreadable. Sighing in defeat you caved into his gentle presence.

“No, It’s all a little much for me, I’m not cut out for any of this.” You felt frustrated with yourself. As if you didn’t finish something in time when you know you were fully capable of doing it. Angry at yourself for not adapting to this life the way your mind adapted entering a new book world.

“Close your eyes.” He says,

“What!?” You asked a little too loud catching a few eyes. His small command threw you off the train track.

“Close your eyes,” He repeated with a light smile. You stare at him searching for any wrong intention but you come up dry. Maybe it was his soft smile or the way his hands were placed, thumb rubbing comforting circles into your skin. But you comply closing your eyes cutting your vision into the dark trusting him fully.

“Now breathe. Inhale the positive through the nose, exhale the negative through your mouth.”

“Why?” You asked with a small giggle feeling like the exercise was childish.

“Just do it.” Jonah playfully snaps at you making you laugh more, taking the anxious thoughts away.

“Okay.” You say before doing the breathing excise you learned when you were six. You did it once, twice, and a third time. Your brain was calm and content once again and you were perplexed on how a useless calming exercise worked. Or so you believed when your mom told you to use it to chase away the icky bad feelings.

“Take my hand I want you to come with me.” You kept your eyes closed as you felt his hands leave your shoulders. Tracing the warmth down your biceps and down your forearms. Causing you to genuinely smile at the sensation but fought against the shudder your body wanted to make. Softly his hands entered your palms, heat spread like it always seemed to.

“Keep your eyes closed, follow my body.” Before you could respond you felt the muscles in his fingers and hands tense. Gasping lightly Jonah pulled you slowly and your body followed him.

“Good.” He says watching the way your body followed him. Trusting him with everything you had. Faster he pulled you through the ocean of people. A colossal of a function held in the city’s legendary museum, massive rooms connecting with spacious hallways.

With your vision gone your other senses heightened. Your nose drowning in his cinnamon scent. Callouses embedding into his finger tips from the strings of his guitar. You could feel the aroma of other people passing, hearing conversations near and distant.

You clung to Jonah’s arm then knowing he was guiding you through the sea of nightmares. Anxious blood running in your veins then washing out of your system as him warmth engulfed your whole body.

Jonah’s head strained down to see you nuzzle into the sleeve of his blazer. Crown digging a tiny tear in the fabric, he could care less as a proud smile grazed his lips. “Are you okay?” His voice was dripping in honey, “I am now.” You hold on tighter to him feeling content like this with him as he never once tired to pull away.

It was a small journey to his destination. You had a hunch he had brought you to the ball room. Delicate music flowed louder and bounced off the halls carrying it back to the centre of the room. The flooring was more slick like butter under your heels a lot different then the other rooms.

You knew Jonah was planning to stop as his muscles strained and weigh sifting in his body. Standing beside him you relied on the movement of him more then anything. He was silent as he grabbed your hand and placed it upon his left shoulder. Seconds later his slender fingers dug into the fabric of your gown and pulled your waist to his.Your body pressed into his fitting like missing pieces from the same puzzle. You let a breathy gasp pass your lips as you felt the shudder work through your body on its own accord.

“Follow my lead.” His voice smooth and deep at the close proximity of you. Words lodged into your throat and all you could do was nod at his words. Now familiar with the way his muscles strained and shift you fell in sync with him on the first step. Slow pacing into the shape of a diamond. Jonah began to pick up the pace in the same pattern, noticing you syncing with his foot work perfectly.

“Why are my eyes closed?” You asked getting familiar with his body and falling into the melody of the music. “Personal experiment.” He says continuing his dancing pattern. Adding a body circle letting your dress flare with the quick movement.

“And would that be?” You asked feeling his fingers crawl to the middle of your back. Pushing your body further into his causing your breath to hitch. Your arm instinctively wrapped around his neck as your breath began to mingle with his.

“To see how your body reacts to mine with your eyes closed your reaction would be raw and real. because your mind isn’t conscious of who you’re with.”

You’re quiet as Jonah brings you into two ratios of his dance pattern.“Why would you want to know that?”

“I’m drawn to you in a way I cant explain and no matter how much you want to deny it you are too. Tonight proves it.” At that pure fact your eyes flick open. Jonah’s immediately connect while fierce passion swam in them. Your face mere inches away from his and you could spot out the things he’d might find as flaw. The crease in the middle of chin, or the way one side of his top lips was bigger. You couldn’t help adore those things.

Dancing in his arms all you could see and feel was him. Unaware of the other couples dancing in one of the most historic ballrooms the world as seen. Taking away the fact Jonah wrote you into your own fantasy world.

Noticing your stare he smirked, green eyes shifting to your lips. Tongue poking out as he began to stare at them like they were the only source of his survival. “It’s rude to stare, Rockstar.” You mumble not sure if you should lean in and bring your lips to his. If you did you had no idea if you would be able to stop, Jonah was right you were drawn to him and you had no fucking idea why.

“Not when it’s you, Princess.” the intimate nickname caused the blood to rush upon your cheeks. You broke eye contact quickly looking at the way your feet chased his on the dance floor. A deep chuckle erupted against his chest and vibrated into yours. “I’ll let it go this time since there happens to be a crown on my head.’ You threaten playfully.

His eyes caught the sight of it in all it’s glory, “You should wear it more often, it fits you perfectly.” The diamonds sparkled into the green rings rounding his pupils. You almost snorted as you asked “Do you really think aimless flirting is getting you anywhere?”

“Usually does. Especially with the professors.” He winks at you teasingly. “God you’re so cheesy it wounds my soul to hear it.” You giggle and watch him beam at the happiness he managed to pull from your soul. Your eyes were brighter in the presence of him and Jonah never failed to notice it.

“Do you trust me?” A sudden question out of the blue,

“Seems like a trick ques-” You yelp as he twirled you a few times, hands still connected over your head. Anxious butterflies enter your stomach at the fast motion. You began to miss the warmth he brought you as if you were always meant to me in Jonah’s arms indefinitely. You giggle as Jonah pulls you back and you're relieved by his cinnamon presence.

“I trust you.”

“I know.”

The rest of the night is spent dancing in his arms, Giggling and feeling genuinely happy for the first time in along time. So distracted in him you both missed the auction. So lost in him that you hadn't noticed the couple danced a few feet away had been Julie with Trey.

------

A few weeks later

The moon hung high in the night sky as the harsh wind howled against your old windows. The blue glow of the television washed over your sleeping form. Curled like a kitten into the wall until a loud pounding at your door woke you. Mind hazy and confused as you were brought to consciousness. The loud banging started again as you heard a deep slurring voice. “Y/n? Y/n are you home?”

You almost felt like you were still wandering in dreamland. Who would show up at your dorm in the dead of night drunk out of their mind? Scurrying out of the covers you walked a couple steps to your door, your dorm was the small. Pulling the lock free you turn the knob and open the door.

Jonah stood in the hallway swaying on the balls of his feet. The bitter scent of alcohol engulfed you. He looked so wasted, a state you’ve never seen him in. you always saw him sober even at parties his frat liked to throw. Crinkles and strains littered his clothing, a rip was torn in the collar of his shirt, blotches of dried blood spotted the light fabric. Eyes dazed as he glanced at you, dark bags weighed under his eyes. Bruises and cuts were spread across his face.

“Jonah?” You asked beyond shocked,

“I saw him and I lost it.” Jonah lazily shrugs losing balance and his shoulder run into the frame of your door. Groaning he continues to lean against it too drunk too hold himself up. “I needed to see you..b-because you’re the only one that-”

“It’s late Jonah you should go.” You say regretting your words, holding the door you’re about to close it. “Please.” Jonah begs trying to nudge the door with his shoulder. But leans his entire weight against the door instead causing it to fly out of your grip and bang upon the wall. Jonah falls to the floor with a softer then you thought.

Without thinking you’re at his side helping him to his feet and you wonder how he got into the building. Once he’s onto his feet you guide him slowly to your desk and tell him to sit. He already barged in there was no point on kicking him out now. Shutting the door you flick on the light and your brain scolds you for it. Turning back to him you noticed blood seeping through his shirt on his side.

“What the hell did you do?” You asked him gently shaking your head as you walk to him. Jonah doesn't say a word as he watches you gather his shirt in your hand. Lifting it you spot a large scrapping wound running up his rib the chest. Dried blood covered his chest not too badly scraped like the side of his rib cage. Blood ran down his side that wasn’t there before. The wound tore open when he face planted to the floor.

“Take your shirt off I’ll fetched the first aid kit.” You speak to him sternly. “Yes ma’am.” Jonah chuckles darkly in a flirtatious manor and you ignore it. He didn’t have a right to that, not after dodging you like the plague for the last week.

You could’ve swore Jonah’s chest is something forged by angels. perfect sets of muscles tempted you to drop the aid kit and sit in his lap. A lazy smirk played on his lips and you had to look away, Swallowing the attraction down you forced yourself to focus.

“I don’t want to know how you achieved to look like this.” You sitting down on stool and catching the rubbing alcohol from the kit. “I wasn’t planning on telling you.” He pointed and your heart wrenched at his response.

In silence you drown cotton balls in the liquid and dab it on to his rib. They slightly shrink and expand sharply as he seethes through his teeth. You pull your lips in tight to stop the laugh that wanted to come out. It amused you to see him squirm at your hand. It was short lived as you remembered the situation between to two of you.

“Why are you dodging me like a bullet right now.” The liquid slides down his middle with ease. “I’m not.” He sucks onto his teeth as you work your way through his wound. Disinfecting it like he had that night at Chocolate Spot, taking care of you like no one else ever would.

“How can you say that when we were..friends or whatever you want to call it. We saw each other every day from dawn to dusk, almost spending every hour together. I accidentally fell asleep in your bed one night with Sawyer when we were watching Cars. We got ice cream every second day cause if we went every day Marcel would cut us off. We walked through the city and you showed me your favourite places. You pushed me to start painting again, I came to your band practise so often Jack started calling me your groupie. “

“Then one day you didn’t answer my text, you weren’t answering my calls either. Daniel was a complete asshole when I dropped by the fraternity house. You stopped getting coffee with me and you never saw the way I progressed with my painting. You abandoned me Jonah, but maybe you’re right that you didn’t.”

Your focus was surprisingly on the task at hand, not once did you look up at him. If You did you knew you would crumble into the palm of his hand and you were making good process. He was silent as he watched you work through it. You honestly didn’t know what you expected from him but it wasn’t silence.

Just over halfway through his wound and a few cotton balls later is when you felt your eyes sting. Blinking softly hot tears rolled down your cheeks and you could feel you nose get stuffy. “I’m sorry.” His voice is a gentle slur.

“Why are you sorry? It’s my fault for thinking I was different. It’s pathetic the way I believed you.” You both fell into silence vulnerable hearts beating the same rhythm, scared to say the wrong thing.

Wasn’t too long before you finished disinfecting the wound. Plastering a bandage to his rib cage where the wound was deeper. Leaving the cuts on his face alone because that’d take too much mental energy to tend to them.

“I don’t know why you chose to come here, but I think you should take your shirt and leave.” You say throwing the bloodied cotton balls in the trash and sliding the first aid kit back under the bed. “Which one?” He noticed the shirt that your body was clad in. First failed band merch he lent the first time you were at his house and you weren’t planning on giving back. You liked sleeping in it.

“The one you came in.”

“It has blood on it.”

“I don’t care, just get out.” You say heading for your bed way too tired to deal with him at the moment. “Wait.” Jonah’s hand catches your wrist and slender fingers wrap around it. A small shiver runs down your spine as if you were deprived of his touch. Body soon growing content from the skin to skin contact of him. Pulling lightly he turned you to face him, regret dripping in his eyes.

“What?” You ask sharply almost in a snap.

“I loved the time I spent with you, watching you fit into my life like you meant to be there. I see the way you get along with the band goofing around with them like they’re siblings. How you treat Sawyer as if he’s your dog, doesn’t help that the canine is in love with you. I just can’t help think that you deserve better then me. You know my past and you know who I was...still am. You don’t deserve to worry about me and expect to clean me up.” Jonah’s green eyes sparkle.

You narrow your eyes at him. Yanking your wrist from his grip and cross your arms over your chest. “What gives you the right to tell me what I deserve Jonah?” Your voice filled with anger. “I think I’m the one who decides that okay?” You asked pointing a finger to his still bare chest. He only nods watching the fury burn from your ears.

“I know who you are Jonah, and I’ll keep choosing you because no one. And I mean no one as ever made me feel the way you have in those few weeks.”

Passion burning in Jonah’s eyes like nothing you’ve seen before. Fingers dig into your wrist again as he pulls you into him. You yelp at the sudden action and let yourself get entirely lost in him. His hands are delicate as they cup the sides of your face. Soon guiding your face to his giving you time to reject him, but you don’t.

Once your lips meet his you swore you felt the entire world fall into place. He tasted of harsh vodka and coca cola while his whole being was drowning in the scent of it. You could care less in this moment as you melt into his arms perfectly. His kiss is gentle and careful as if pressing more into the kiss would shatter you into dust.

Pulling away from the kiss you look to your nightstand breathless and rosy cheeked. Instantly you felt bare without his warm touch upon your skin. It was weird the way your body always reacted to him as if this man was your whole life line. Like your body couldn’t get enough of him.

Jonah’s fingers caught your chin in his soft grip forcing your attention on his drunk hazy eyes. Exhaustion was wearing on his body now and you watched a dopey smile spread on his lips. “Beautiful.” His mumbles a soft slur of syllables as he tucks a few strands of hair behind your ear.

“You’re tired,” You respond back with fond smile.

“Can I stay with you?” Hope begins to dance in his eyes and you nod, “turn the light off.” was all you said before you pull from his grip and crawl into bed.

The light flicks off and you’re engulfed into the darkness only hearing light shuffles that Jonah makes. Soft thud of jeans hit the floor before you feel his body sink into the mattress of your bed. You giggle feeling him press his head into your stomach. The giddiness reaching your brain as his weight pushes into your legs.

“God I love the sound of your laugh.” He says into the fabric of your shirt. You smile in response and thread your fingers into the curls of his hair. Jonah pulls you thighs tighter against his bare chest and you feel his sigh contently in your arms. And you too were content in him and you begin wonder if this is what home felt like.

Jonah is quiet for a long while before you sense his breathing patterns slow and light snores erupt from him. You pull the blanket to your chest and surrender to sleep for the second time that night. This time was more rewarding then the first, because you had him.

-------

Late morning sun light floods into the dorm through light mesh curtains. Mind growing conscious while you felt the man cuddling against you nuzzle his face deeper into stomach. Looking like a sleepy puppy while doing it. You smile softly to yourself and comb your fingers into his chocolate curls enjoying the moment.

Until the Tuesday morning dawned on you, and by the bright light you knew you missed the first half of your eight am lecture. Desperately trying to get out of Jonah’s grip, he pulls you closer to his body instead. Rolling your eyes you try again, prying is arms from your thighs, but his hold is stronger then your resistance.

“Jesus what the hell is in your protein shakes?” You asks more to yourself,

“Protein.” Jonah murmurs into the fabric of your shirt. “You’re awake?” You asked surprised still trying to force yourself out of his grip. “Yes. Now stop trying to escape.”

“Can’t and because of you..” You groan digging your fingers into his bare bicep and push. “..I’m really late for my morning class..” Your grip slips and you yelp. “...Let me go!” You sigh in defeat and fall back into your pillows.

“I might be able to spare you.” He says reluctantly and pulls his arms from around you. You missed the feeling of them circling your body and as much as you wanted to put then back you couldn’t.

“Thank you.” You say gratefully and scoot yourself to the edge of the bed. Jonah crawls higher on the bed, back muscles glistening against the sun beams. He face plants into the pillow abruptly and moans into it sending shivers down your spine. Wondering what it would sound like on the shell on your ear as you reach of your phone.

The time displays on the screen and you swore under your breath as Jonah stirs in your bed and hums in question. “It’s 11:30am I missed the entire lecture, I still have time to get to my second class. I might have enough to grab a coffee on the way.”

“Me one too?” He asked in a coo and looks up at you. Gasping lightly you rush to him and grab his face to inspect the swelling of a yellowing bruise. It definitely didn’t look like that last night and must’ve grown in the night. Softly you finger tips dance onto the swell and Jonah curses at you and winces out of your grip. You muffled a small laugh, “Sorry, I wanted to see how bad it was.”

“Yeah I bet you did.” He snaps at the pain you caused him.

“Okay I’ll let you rest Mr. Attitude..” You tease him. “..I have a class to get to, and you know your way out.” You gather up your bathroom things in your catty and before you head out the door, you glance to see Jonah already sleeping peaceful in your bed.

----

After a long lecture you walk into Golden Biscuit and find Ivette already waiting for you. Ready for your two o’clock lunch date as she had ordered you an iced coffee and a sandwich. she sits in a spacious booth and you wonder how long she’s been sitting there scrolling on her phone.

“Hey.” You greet sliding into the seat across from her. Instantly she puts down her phone, screen kissing the table. “Finally what took you so long?”

“You do realise I don’t have a car right? Not to mention it’s a twenty minute walk from the lecture hall.” You reach for your sandwich and sink your teeth into it. “Calm down I know I was only teasing. I missed you and your dumb ass.” She says and you roll your eyes as your mouth was full of a deliciousness.

With Jonah on hiatus for the last week you kept to yourself. You didn’t think it was fair to come in between her relationship with Daniel. Especially since he was Jonah’s best friend and band mate. And in that time Jonah was avoiding you Daniel told you ‘if he wanted to be found you would’ve found him’ Honestly a dick move on his end of the plate but you understood his reason.

You knew Ivette would tear out his throat for that one despite what she felt for him. She’d do absolutely anything for you, that’s who Ivette was. It’s the reason you never told her about it and said you needed space. Because at the end of the day Daniel was the only whose ever made her feel secure in a relationship. You weren’t about to take that away from her, she’s happy with him.

“I missed you too and your loud personality.” You take a sip of your coffee to wash down the bread down.

“Speaking of loud I heard that a certain someone forced his way through your dormitories last night.” The excitement glowed in her brown eyes as she took a sip of her own coffee.

A small smile crawled onto your lips at the mention of the man that slept in your bed last night. “Yes..” You start and tell her everything that happened last night. That he woke up at two in the morning absolutely wasted and bruised from the waist up. How you weren’t too pleased to see his face after everything that happened between the two of you. Yet you still tended to his massive wound that ate at his side, saying how you felt the need to do it even after feeling that resentment for him. How you two made up and kissed and fell asleep in each others arms like you were meant to.

By the time you finished your coffee was gone and your sandwich was half eaten. Ivette held her coffee in both hands looking at you with an expression you couldn’t place. “The way you describe him tells me you’re in love with that one.” He voice is soft and light.

You choke and cough on a piece of bacon, shocked by her words. “Me and Jonah aren’t together together. At least I don’t think we are, he never asked. I can’t be in love with him, not yet. That-that would be almost im-impossible.” You scramble for the words. Desperate to deny the idea out of your mind.

“The way you talk about him is as if your souls are made from the same stars. It wouldn’t be that impossible.”

You muffle a small laugh, “That’s from a movie.” You point out,

“I know. What do you expect from a theatre major who doesn’t devour books the way you do?” She shrugs and takes a bite out of her panini.

You shake your head playfully as your phone vibrates in your back pocket. Eyebrows knit together while you fish it out. A white notification from eBay with a picture of you lion painting pops up. Blocking a picture of you and Ivette when you went to Disneyland last year.

You tap on it and it takes you to your listing of the painting. A green banner is displayed at the top and in white lettering SOLD is written inside it. Your eyes fall upon more zeros then you could count, your phone slips from you grip. “Holy fuck!” you shout and clamp your hands to your mouth in pure shock at how much your panting sold for. Phone clattering to the phone and you could care less if the screen cracked.

“What?!” Ivette leans onto the table with an urgent expression. eagerly wanting to know what caused you to respond the way you did. Hands shaking vigorously against your mouth as your eyes almost popped out of their sockets. Ivette watches you like this for the next five minutes letting you comprehend what the hell just happened.

Slowly you remove you hands from you mouth and look at her bug-eyed. Still in shock. “My painting sold.” Your voice is just above a whisper as if you said it any louder it’d go away.

“How much?” Ivette matches your tone,

“Five-hundred-thousand dollars.”

------------------------

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has supported me through this series. It honestly means so much to me since I’ve struggled heavily with this part.

Which was your favourite part? Mine personally was when Jonah took the reader to the ball room and danced with her.

Don’t be afraid to message me if anything offended you with my POC characters. This is a safe space for everyone and I want to make it right!

Taglist: @jonahlovescoffee @randomlimelightxxx @someinsanefangirl @evans-dejong

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stanananathon · 3 years

Text

Feels Like Summer by Weezer a Reddie au

be warned…this gets sad

Climbing up the tower, just a boy and his computer

I'm still in my bathrobe, hiding in the shadows

I'm not used to losing, bye-bye, sugar blue eyes

You're home with the angels, thank you for being so kind

Richie made his way up the tree outside Eddie’s bedroom window before very graciously crashing onto Eddie’s floor. He had a blush on his face from biking as fast as he could.

“Jesus, Rich. Did you nearly pass out on your way over here?” Eddie asked with an eyebrow raised. Richie felt the sudden urge to kiss that eyebrow. He shook his head.

“Can’t keep my spaghetti man waiting, can I?” He pushed himself off the floor and plopped beside Eddie on his bed. He was fresh out of the shower and still in his fluffy robe. Richie rubbed his head into his shoulder and pretended to purr like a cat.

“So soft.” He hummed. Eddie laughed and pushed Richie off of him before standing up to get changed.

“I didn’t know you get here so fast. I haven’t even put clothes on yet.” Richie tucked his hands behind his head and crossed his legs, relaxing against the wall.

“We’ll don’t mind me.” He grinned. Eddie threw a pair of socks at his face.

“Shut the fuck up Trashmouth and close your eyes.” Richie cackled and laid his head back, resting the pair of socks on the bridge of his nose.

“Change away, spaghetti. I can’t see a thing.” Richie waved his hand and smiled to himself as he heard Eddie shuffling around. After a few moments, there was a punch to Richie arm and he blinked open his eyes. Eddie was standing over Richie, hands on his hips. Richie knew he should come up with some kind of funny remark but he was lost in Eddie’s eyes. Richie swore if you tried, you could see them sparkle like sugar in the light.

“Hellooooo. Earth to Trashmouth.” Eddie waved a hand in fron of Richie’s face. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and sat up. “Where’d you go?” Eddie asked, crooking his head curiously.

“Excuse me, my dear Edwardo. I must’ve zoned out thinking about your sweet mother in my bed last night.” Eddie groaned and shoved Richie for the second time that afternoon.

“Beep beep, Richie.”

“Anyway! What did you wanna show me?” Eddie got up and pulled out a grey box-of-sorts. He unclipped two sides that folded out and set it on the floor. Grinning at Richie excitedly, he exclaimed,

“I’ve got my very own battleship! Mama let me get it at a garage sale because it was so cheap.”

“Sweet!” Richie jumped up and went to kneel down at the game. “You’d better prepare yourself, Eds. I’m not used to losing.” Eddie grinned in response.

“Just you wait Tozier. When I’m done with you, you’ll be home with the angels.”

I’m holding on, and I don’t wanna let you go, woah

Richie held his grip tight as Eddie thrashed against him, water flying around them. Richie laughed at the way Eddie scrunched up his nose.

“You’re not getting out of this one, Eds!”

“Just you watch me, Tozier!” Eddie managed to free one wrist and turned to swim away, but Richie just reached out around him and pulled him into his chest. He could hear Bev’s snicker behind him, but he didn’t care. Eddie was huffing loudly but his muscles started to relax as he realized he wasn’t going to win this fight. Right smiled and tucked his head over Eddie’s shoulder.

“This isn’t so bad is it?” Richie cooed. He couldn’t admit it, but he loved the way Eddie felt him his arms. Eddie was small enough that Richie felt like he could wrap him all up in his gangling arms and legs. Plus, Eddie was always warm. Richie really liked that about him. Just as Richie was getting comfortable enough to dream about staying in that position forever, he received a swift kick to his legs.

“OW! Jesus, Eddie!” In his surprise, Richie let go of Eddie, who was able to swim away, hollering triumphantly.

“I told you I’d get out!” Riche couldn’t help the dreamy smile that painted his face as he rubbed his throbbing shin bone.

Yeah it feels like summer, yeah it feels like summer...

When s(he) was a lover to me

Eddie had fallen asleep next to Richie in the middle of the movie they were watching. He’d had a particularly stressful day with his mom, so Richie had invited him over for a chill afternoon.

They’d picked out snacks and a movie to rent at the local video store and been in Richie’s bedroom all afternoon. Looking, down at Eddie’s face now Richie felt an overwhelming sensation. His chest was warm and floaty and before he even knew it, the words slipped out of his mouth,

“I love you.” It was barely above a whisper, and Eddie didn’t stir from his sleep, but it scared Richie to admit. It made him think of the clown, but he shoved it down. He would not let that motherfucker ruin the way he felt about Eddie. Eddie was too special. He was loud and argumentative, but he was goofy and caring and gave off a warmth that made Richie feel like it was always summer when he was with him. Richie Tozier loved Eddie Kaspbrak, there was no doubt about it.

Which way is the graveyard? I’m an iceberg with a warm heart

I’m spiritual, not religious. I’m a libra, if it matters

Richie pulled a yelling Eddie behind him through the darkness.

“Richie! Where are we going?” Riche wound around a tree and held Eddie closely to his chest, quickly putting a hand over his mouth just in time to hear the jeering calls of Bowers in the distance, egging them to make themselves known.

After a few minutes, they heard an engine rev and a car speed off, and Richie released the breath he was holding. He gently took his hand off Eddie’s mouth.

“Sorry about that, Eds. I saw the headlights and just ran.” Eddie nodded.

“Don’t call me Eds.” He looked around slowly. “Why a graveyard, Richie? This place gives me the creeps.”

“If it scares you that much, you’re welcome to hold my hand, Eddie.” Richie teased.

“Yeah, no thanks, your hands are always freezing. It’s like holding onto ice.” Richie feigned hurt at Eddie’s response.

“You wound me, Edward!” Richie gripped his chest dramatically, “at least my heart is warm! Unlike your cold, stone one.” Richie glared at Eddie in faux-anger, who just rolled his eyes in response. There was a sudden snap of a twig and Eddie’s hand darted out to hold onto Richie’s forearm. His eyes began to widen and he pulled on Richie.

“C’mon, Rich, let’s go. I don’t wanna stay here any longer.”

“Why not, Eddie? Afraid the ghouls will get you?” Richie teased, but he moved anyway. He could make fun of Eddie all he wanted but he wasn’t so mean as to force him to stay somewhere that clearly bothered him.

“Beep beep, Richie. Do you even believe in ghosts?” Richie shrugged as they made their way into a familiar street, Eddie’s still pulling Richie forward by his arm.

“I guess I don’t know. I’m not very religious. I did recently find out that I’m a pisces, though.”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“I have no idea.”

June bright, shine so bright

Flowers in (his) hair but it just ain’t right…

We look good together, aw yeah

The summer sun shone down on the losers club in mid-June. They were all dressed up and getting ready to take photos in the backyard of Bill’s parents house. The Derry high school had some unfortunate flooding right around the time that prom would normally happen, so it got pushed into the summer. As the rest of the losers were all getting ready to take some parentally-mandatory photos, Richie couldn’t stop messing with his tie.

“Why do these damn things have to be so tight?” Richie pulled on his tie again, finally getting it to loosen. He went to undo the top button of his shirt before he felt slender hands batting his away.

“Stop ruining your suit, Richie.” Eddie’s hands took the place of Richie’s as he carefully fixed his tie. Bill’s mom had set up a mirror against the house while she went to find her camera so they could do last minute touch ups. While Eddie was finishing up, some fluffs from a dandelion has blown into his hair. Before Richie could think to stop himself, he reached up delicately to pull them from the chocolate locks. Eddie’s hands stilled on Richie’s chest and he looked up into Richie’s eyes. There was that sparkle again.

“Sugar.” Richie whispered. Eddie’s eyebrows quirked.

“Huh?” Richie shook his head, finally tearing his eyes away from Eddie’s to make sure he’d gotten the last of the fluffs out of his hair.

“Oh, nothing, Eddie my boy.” Eddie nodded, retracting his hands from Richie’s chest. Richie tried to ignore how it felt heavier without Eddie’s hands on it. He turned Eddie around to face the mirror just so he could put his hands on some part of him.

“We look pretty good together, Eds.” He grinned at them into the mirror, slinging an arm over Eddie’s shoulders and pretending not to notice the blush on Eddie’s cheeks as he nodded.

“Yeah, I guess we do, Rich.”

Yeah it feels like summer

Yeah it feels like summer, when s(he) was a lover to me

The dry August hair pushed his way through Richie’s tousled curls as he stood on the curb next to his truck. It was packed full of all of suitcases and boxes, ready for his move out west. Maggie Tozier wouldn’t stop fussing, trying to make sure Richie had everything he could possibly need.

“Ma, it’s fine. We’ve checked and double-checked the list. If I really need anything I’ll call when I get there and you can mail it to me.” Maggie nodded tearfully before pulling Richie into a tight hug.

“I can’t believe my baby is all grown up!” She cried. “I love you so much, Richie.” Richie smiled and rubbing his mother’s back soothingly.

“I love you too, ma.” Just as he pulled back he saw a familiar shape over his mother’s shoulder. The rest of the losers had already left for their respected destinies but Eddie would be the last to go. Richie tried to ignore the prickle he felt at the corners of his eyes at the thought of not seeing Eddie tomorrow. Eddie made his way up to Richie somewhat slowly, hands in his pockets. He looked a little uneasy. Maggie went inside to do one last sweep of the house as Eddie finally made his way up to Richie.

“Spaghetti! You came to say goodbye!” Richie scooped Eddie up into his arms. Eddie didn’t have enough time to get his hands out of his pockets, so his arms were pinned to his sides. He laughed anyway before Riche put him down.

“Yeah, I figured I couldn’t let you leave without one more of these.” He reached up and punched Richie in the shoulder.

“Ouch, Edward! You wound me!” Richie held himself dramatically before grinning up at Eddie. Eddie couldn’t help but smile back. The only thought running through Riche’s brain was IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou. They fell into a small silence before Eddie broke it with a sad, scared voice.

“Do you really think we’re all going to forget each other?” He said so quietly Richie almost missed it. “Just like that?” Richie stiffened. The question he’d been avoiding asking himself for weeks. Before he thought about it too much and gave himself too much time to let the tears well up in his eyes, he pulled Eddie into another hug. He splayed his hands across Eddie’s back whose hands made their way up past Richie’s shoulders and into his hair.

“I don’t know how I could ever forget you, Eds.” He felt Eddie nod lightly and give a little sniffle.

“You know I love you, right, Rich?” Richie nodded fervently and cleared his throat before croaking out.

“Yeah, ‘course. Love you too, Eds. Love you most.” The pang in his chest flared as he heard his mother’s footsteps on the porch and he let Eddie go. He rubbed furiously at his eyes.

“Well, Richie. I guess you’re right. I couldn’t find anything else to that looked like you’d forgotten.” Richie looked up and plastered the widest grin he could muster on his face.

“Told ya, ma.” He glanced between Eddie and his mother before clapping his hands together.

“Well, it’s time for Trashmouth Tozier to hit the road! Won’t get rich and famous just standing here.” He forced himself to keep the grin on his face throughout the rest of the goodbye and only allowed the tears to finally stream down his cheeks when he could only see the faint outline of Eddie waving goodbye in the rear-view mirror.

Let me see the smile, stay with me a while

I cried for you, you were the song in my life

Richie scrambled over to Eddie’s frail body.

“No, no, no, no please no.” Richie’s voice broke into a sob and he held the love of his life tightly against his chest. He put his forehead against Eddie’s and another sob broke through his aching lungs. Eddie’s skin was so cold, too cold. He felt the same temperature on his cheek as Eddie’s hand made it into his hair like when they were kids.

“It’ll be okay, Rich.” Richie shook his head furiously.

“No, no it won’t.” He gripped Eddie tighter and added his hand atop of Eddie’s. Eddie feebly nodded to try and reassure him, but Richie just continued shaking his head.

“No. You have to stay with me, Eds. Okay? We’re gonna get you out of here and we’re gonna save you and everything is going to be just fine.” Eddie gave Richie a broken smile.

“Don’t call me Eds.” A broken laugh escaped Richie’s mouth at the ridiculousness of it all. He could hear the rest of his friends fighting the clown in the distance but he didn't care to help. The only thing he cared about was Eddie right here in his arms. He felt Eddie’s arm go limp but Richie only pressed the cold hand into his cheek harder.

“Please don’t leave me. Please.” He cried. Eddie took a labored breath.

“Rich, you know I... I..” and Richie felt the last breath leave his body. He couldn’t stop himself from watching the life leave Eddie’s eyes and Richie felt the world was crumble around him. He chest felt ripped open and raw as the sobs racked his body. He pulled Eddie’s limp body tight against his chest and pressed his lips to his ear.

“I love you, I love you. I love you, Eddie, please, please come back to me.” Richie never stopped trying to get Eddie to come back. Even when his friends peeled him off his body and dragged him out of the sewers. He cried and kicked and screamed. He felt like he was drowning. And he wanted to. He wanted to go back into the sewers and die with Eddie. So that just maybe they could be together that way. But he didn’t. Instead he cried and cried and he turned his back to the summer sun that refused to go away.

Didn’t the sun know how much it hurt Richie? How it reminded him of the memories he promised himself not to forget? The sun was too warm and Eddie’s hand on Richie’s cheek had been too cold. Richie wanted the sun to go away forever.

The next day the sun was still too much. The heat was harsh and biting against Richie’s back and he lightly traced the letters. R+E forever etched into the bridge and into his heart. Hot, heavy tears made their way out of Richie’s eyes again as he cursed sun and the summer and the wood under his fingers. The real warmth in his life had gone.

Yeah it feels like summer,

when he was a lover to me...

#reddie #Richie x Eddie #richie tozier #It (2017)#The Losers #the losers club #it stephen king #it spoilers #canon compliant death #I'm sorry about this one #angst #Eddie kaspbrak #I hope this is okay #it's been a minute #constructive criticism welcome!#I'm still getting back into writing about my boys #eds #eddie spaghetti #Trashmouth Tozier

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