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searchingwardrobes · 3 years

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Ivory Runs Red: 5/6

First off, massive thanks to the @cssns, my beta @demisexualemmaswan, and my artist @cocohook38. Cocohook created this amazing cover art, and she is working on something else too to go with this story. The rough sketch made my jaw drop, so I can’t wait for ya’ll to see it!

This part is going to be a little long, but I need to address something that I got multiple comments about. Just bear with me; this is the only way I can think to clear things up. I was really surprised to see that some people were angry at David and Mary Margaret for not doing anything to find Emma and/or "allowing" her relationship with Neal. Others simply expressed things along the lines of "I hope you explain what David and Mary Margaret did about all this." The reason this reaction surprised me so much is because I thought it was clear that they HAD done something. Why would the Golds need to get rid of police files if the Swans never reported Emma missing? Why would issues of the newspaper be missing from the library if Emma's disappearance wasn't reported on? Obviously, David and Mary Margaret did something! As for Neal, they had no idea Emma was seeing him. If you'll recall, in a previous chapter, Emma told Killian she had to sneak out at night to meet Neal. So that wasn't Snowing's fault either. Also, how would any of these characters know what David and Mary Margaret did or didn't do for their daughter? This is almost a hundred years later, and Emma's memories are dulled from being a ghost for so long. The only way I could spell out clearly how Snowing handled their daughter's disappearance would be some sort of convoluted info-dump, and I didn't want to destroy the tone and mood of the story to do that. But just so everyone knows: Yes, Emma's parents were devastated. They did everything in their power to find her, never giving up hope (which is so in character for them!). They died still believing she was either still out there or that crimes against her had gone unpunished. It broke their hearts. The Golds spread rumors that Emma was some kind of slut who ran away with a guy, and the people of Storybrooke overall thought the Swans had gone crazy. So there it is, that's the back story that I just couldn't figure out how to fit in the story, lol.

I'm not mad at the questions, to be clear. I was just surprised by them. I guess I blame the show for ruining these two as parents the last couple of seasons. Maybe that's why everyone jumped on them so fast. I was also honestly worried that ya'll would be upset with me for not addressing the topic, hence this long explanation! No one was rude by any means, so don't go trying to defend me from nonexistent trolls, lol! My feelings have NOT been hurt. I simply wanted to address the questions that were asked and the misplaced anger toward Snowing. (Not anger towards me - but fictional characters!)

Okay, now that I've cleared all THAT up, let's get on with the next chapter, shall we? And I'll go ahead and warn you: this is gonna hurt . . .

Summary: When ebony flashes gold, blood runs cold. When ivory runs red, you’ll be dead. Killian Jones had heard the old rhyme his entire life. Every child did in Storybrooke, Maine. They heard it whispered in the dark at sleepovers as children; taunted as a challenge as teenagers. Killian never believed it was actually true. Until that fateful night …

Rated M for graphic depictions of violence, abusive relationships, and major character death (I mean, it’s a ghost story ya’ll, people are dead. BUT I promise, there is a happy ending. Trust me? *peeks from around a corner*)

Length: 6 chapters, complete, updated every Friday

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four

Also on Ao3

Tagging the usuals: @snowbellewells @whimsicallyenchantedrose @kmomof4 @xhookswenchx @let-it-raines @bethacaciakay @tiganasummertree @shireness-says @stahlop @scientificapricot @spartanguard @welllpthisishappening @resident-of-storybrooke @thislassishooked @ilovemesomekillianjones @kday426 @ekr032-blog-blog @lfh1226-linda @ultraluckycatnd @nikkiemms @optomisticgirl @profdanglaisstuff @ohmakemeahercules @carpedzem @branlovestowrite @superchocovian @hollyethecurious @vvbooklady1256 @winterbaby89 @delirious-latenight-laughs @jennjenn615 @snidgetsafan @itsfabianadocarmo @lassluna @distant-rose @courtorderedcake @winterbythesea @thesschesthair @killian-whump @thisonesatellite @batana54 @it-meant-something @xsajx @therooksshiningknight @gingerchangeling

Chapter Five: Run

“You’ve got to tell them what you saw - what you’ve learned,” Killian pleaded.

Graham shook his head, his curly hair falling in his eyes as he stared at the slender hands he clasped in his. His eyes were bloodshot, his jaw sported far more facial hair than it normally did, and Killian didn’t have to ask if he’d slept in the past forty-eight hours.

“They won’t believe me.”

Killian’s jaw clenched in frustration. “But if I saw Emma, and you saw her, then maybe they’ll believe -”

“That Belle saw a ghost push Mike Gaston off the troll bridge? They’ll believe that? Really?” Graham let out a sarcastic, bitter laugh. “You really are just a naive kid if that’s what you're thinking.”

“But you’re a cop!”

“I’m still only nineteen! They’ll think we’re just over-imaginative teenagers.” Graham paused, reaching up with one hand to trace the curve of Belle’s cheek as she slept in her drug-induced prison. “That will land us in rooms just down the hall with our own IV full of an antipsychotic cocktail. How will I help her then?”

“You’ve fallen in love with her.” It wasn’t a question.

Graham sighed. “How could I not? And how could he -” He broke off, his blue eyes flashing. “I’m not sorry he’s dead. If I’d been there and saw him hurt her -”

“Shh, I wouldn’t say things like that. Not here.”

Killian’s gaze fell to the bruises around Belle’s neck, and he didn’t blame Graham at all. It terrified him to think what could have happened if Emma hadn’t shown up.

“History repeats itself,” he murmured under his breath.

*************************************************

Killian had scarcely arrived at the bridge when headlights blinded him. He turned away, blinking, stumbling, refusing to be stopped.

“Emma! Emma!” he shouted. He tripped and dropped his flashlight. It broke as it hit the ground, rolling to the edge of the bridge. Now all he could see was ebony before him and radiant luminescence behind him.

His palms scraped against the asphalt as Liam hauled him to his feet. His brother gripped his upper arms so tightly it was almost painful, and he gave him a brief shake.

“You’ve got to stop this!”

Killian fought him. “I have to see her!”

Liam had always been broader than Killian with an unfair advantage in all their childhood tussles. Even now, Killian was no match for him as he lifted him bodily with one arm and hauled him over to his car.

“You need help!” Liam literally tossed him into the backseat.

“I’m not going home!” Killian tried to scramble out, but Liam just shoved him back inside.

“Good, because I’m not taking you home.”

*******************************************************

“Why won’t you be straight with us, kid?”

Killian glared at the detective with a cynical sneer. The psychiatrist on the cop’s left frowned at Killian’s attitude. The choice of words was cruel considering he was in a literal straightjacket. His vision of the two men was obscured by the long strands of dark hair before his eyes. Haircuts were apparently seen as a luxury on the psych ward.

“I’ve answered all your questions,” Killian finally told them wearily, “you just don’t like what I had to say.”

“Because we want the truth,” the psychiatrist, Dr. Archie Hopper, said gently. He was clearly playing the part of “good cop.” Or “good doctor.” Whatever.

“I told you the truth.”

“There’s no such thing as ghosts.”

Killian snorted a laugh. “Tell that to Mike Gaston.”

The detective’s voice took on a harsh, warning tone. “Mike Gaston was the victim of murder.”

“The victim!” Killian cried, his voice snapping up. “What about the bruises he put on Belle? Or the fact that I nearly died when he tied me to that bridge!”

The detective’s lips curled up in a lewd sneer as he lit a cigarette. “If some horny teenager likes it a bit rough, that’s none of my business.”

Killian fought his bonds, his jaw clenching at the detective’s insinuation. He was as bad as Neal Gold, maybe worse. He had to be pushing fifty at least, and a pot belly strained at his button up shirt. His eyes widened as Killian raged.

“Bothers you though, I see.” He leaned forward. “Nobody blames you for wanting her, kid. Nobody blames you for being jealous. But murder? That’s a different story.”

“I told you I had nothing to do with that!”

The detective glanced at Dr. Hopper, and the soft spoken psychiatrist took over. “Killian, start at the beginning for us. What did Belle say when she called you that night?”

“I’m telling you, she didn’t call me, she didn’t come to my house. I saw her early that afternoon at the library. That was it. Then my brother got a phone call that there had been an accident, and we came to the hospital.”

“You and Belle were at the library together a lot,” Hopper said softly, “what did you two do there?”

Killian rolled his eyes. He hated the patronizing way the man asked the question. “We studied. Did our homework. We were friends.”

The detective snorted again, and Killian wanted to scream. “Drop the act, kid. You really expect us to believe that you spent all that time with her, all that time with a hot chick, and you never fucked her?”

Dr. Hopper recoiled at the foul language, and Killian thought his own jaw might actually break.

“You’re just as much a misogynistic, narrow-minded, neanderthal as Mike Gaston.”

The detective grinned and slapped Dr. Hopper on the knee. “You were right, shrink, this kid’s smart.” He took another puff of his cigarette as he eyed Killian. “Smart enough to plan an elaborate murder with your knocked-up girlfriend?”

“That’s the most ridiculous - wait - did you say knocked up?”

“Hm,” the detective mused, leaning back in his chair and rubbing at his five o’clock shadow. “You didn’t know?”

Killian was horrified when a laugh slipped past his lips. Another bitter laugh followed, then another, until before he knew it, he was shaking with them. He was laughing hysterically while wearing a straightjacket. That thought made him laugh even more, and if he didn’t seem like a lunatic before, he sure as hell did now.

“What the hell is so funny?” thundered the detective.

Killian’s laughter stopped abruptly and he leveled the man with an intense stare. “History repeating itself. That’s what’s so funny.”

A smile that he knew bordered on manic curled his lips. Yes, history had repeated itself, and this time, Emma Swan had won.

************************************************************

They didn’t have enough to charge him, or Belle, or anyone else really with Gaston’s murder. It was officially declared an accident, and theoretically, Belle French and Killian Jones were free to move on.

Killian wouldn’t say it was easy for Belle. She had severe trauma from that terrifying night, and she ended up losing the baby because of it. Nevertheless, she had Dr. Hopper’s patient help, her father’s support, and Graham’s unwavering devotion. Soon, though it would be a long time before she was truly healed, she was able to go home.

Killian, on the other hand, didn’t really want to go home. For one, he, unlike Belle and Graham, refused to stop talking about Emma - refused to lie and say he made it up. He didn’t fault his friends for it; didn’t take it as a betrayal. He even understood their reasoning when they begged him to do the same and just play along, damn it. He simply couldn’t do it. Emma was too real, too precious. He knew her in a way they never would. He knew the feel of her skin, the taste of her lips. He wouldn’t - couldn’t - let that go.

The psych ward wasn’t so bad. The drugs numbed him to the point that he sailed on a sea of oblivion half the time. He’d stopped fighting, so there was no more straight jacket, no more bed straps.

And she came to him. Sometimes the drugs meant he wasn’t lucid enough to really carry on a conversation. On those nights, she curled up next to him on the bed. She ran her fingers through his hair and caressed his cheeks. She pressed kisses to his lips, and sometimes he could respond in kind.

Other times, though admittedly rare, they would talk. About everything and nothing at all. One night, they talked about their dreams for later, after high school, and suddenly Emma began to weep.

“I know,” he soothed, brushing her forehead with a kiss, “you fear you can never have that. But maybe we can figure it out. If we somehow get the truth out. About your murder -”

Emma silenced him with a finger to his lips. “That isn’t it, Killian. It’s you. I have no more tomorrows but you can.”

His brow furrowed, and she sighed and soothed the lines away with the pad of her thumb.

“But not if you keep holding onto me.”

His arms instinctively pulled her closer. “I’ll never let you go.”

She sighed, and sadness filled her eyes. She slipped out of his embrace and rose from the bed. Her skin grew white, her gown floated in an ethereal way at her feet. He frowned and scrambled to a sitting position.

“I have to say goodbye,” she told him. She said it with an edge of discovery in her voice. Her lips turned up in a soft smile even as a tear slipped down her cheek.

He shook his head and tried to reach for her, to leave the bed, but he had just enough drugs in his system to make his movements sluggish and ineffectual.

“I won’t let you see me again.”

“No, Emma, please! I love you!”

“And I love you. That’s why I have to do this.”

She was already fading away. Killian made a fist and slammed it into his thigh. Tears stung his eyes.

“Be happy,” she told him, “for me.”

Then she was gone.

#cs ff #captain swan ff #cssns21 #captain swan supernatural summer #ghost story #horror #strange lieutenant duckling #lol trust me #happy ending of sorts

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ateezgf · 3 years

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im sorry this is really rubbing me the wrong way. why are you so pressed a rando on the internet doesnt have the same interests as you? how can you expect strangers to 'be quiet' and self censor their blogs and not express opinions unless it validates your hobbies? the consumerism thing is a completely valid critique of stuff going on in the industry and market, it's not targeting fans personally. if you dont like an opinion you dont have to engage, you definitely dont have to invent a clinical diagnosis implying how someone u dont know must feel superior to everyone because... they wrote some blog posts on their own blog directed at no one that you disagreed with. that looks a lot like projection.

im sending this because i wanna point out this is exactly the sort of behavior that drives people (especially well adjusted adults who can tolerate disagreement) out of fandom spaces because no one can express even the most mildly controversial opinion without others acting like they were personally attacked or straight up accusing the opinionhaver of personality disorders. ive seen it happen enough times. in the end you'll have contributed to an environment that is so hostile to normal differences in opinion that all the people capable of critical thought will be driven out and you'll be left with a miserable little mutually policing hivemind clique that laps up anything the artists companies put out regardless of whether its good art or money making garbage.

How did you get all that from the one sentence I posted

Anyway, I'm not upset that someone doesn't want to buy kpop merch. That definitely isn't a requirement ever. It's the fact that they're trying to come off as better than the average fan who does partake in buying merchandise. I could easily flip it around and be like "how can you not buy merch" and go on about all the positives in collecting something too; but I'm able to respect the stance other people have WITHOUT talking down on them. EDIT: People who think they’re better for buying more/stream more/etc. are equally as bad and annoying as someone who speaks on the opposite spectrum and I’ve spoken against those people before too. You’re barking at people who don’t do either.

Also I don't know where you pulled me inventing a clinical diagnosis from..? If you're talking about superiority complexes, that is indeed real. If not, then you can take my Psychology degree away and put me back in school. I don't know what you think I'm projecting because I also never tried to write myself off as better than someone who chooses not to partake in the things I do. Again, I never accused anyone of having a personality disorder? Stop pulling stuff out of thin air.

To call the people annoyed by someone constantly barking about how they're different for not doing the things they do and to insinuate that it's a pointless thing when the very person you're defending has been unnecessarily rude and hostile on multiple accounts to multiple people is contributing more to that type of environment than a couple of people saying they're tired of seeing someone's repeated self-praise for being different than the rest. The very person you're defending going out of their way to comment on content creators things and call it ugly directly to them is the type of behavior that drives people out of fandom spaces and away from hobbies they enjoy.

I saw they brought up lightsticks and that's part of korean concert culture. It's not some pointless cash grab as you for some reason think it is? Why would I spend money on an album if I don't like it too like...? That's exactly the thing a bunch of people were getting annoyed with. I respect the decision to not spend your money on kpop merchandise; but for you to practically call me a brainwashed individual just because I like buying albums with music I like is so unnecessary? Like.. Are you aware that I'm able to spend my money how I want to? Does that upset you? It seems like it does since you sent me this.

You trying to say that I'm incapable of critical thinking while also sending me an anon that is so far off from what I have said is just so..?? Like I had said in my original post, I never said no one can express their opinions; but it's also easier to just be like "I don't get it, but as long as you're having fun!" and move on without going on and on about how your stance is better.

#updated because i've been told that someone's checking my blog <3 #'if you dont like an opinion you dont have to engage' yet u engaged with my opinion #i never said not liking consumerism isn't a valid critique. im saying that you can simply not be an asshole about it #answered

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snkpolls · 3 years

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SnK Episode 65 Poll Results (for Anime Only Watchers)

The poll closed with 98 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Manga Readers’ poll, click here.

Anime only watchers, beware of spoilers if you venture over to the manga readers’ poll results.

RATE THE EPISODE 94 Responses

Although a bit muted compared to last week, the response to this episode was still overwhelmingly positive, with 96.8% of people giving it a rating of 3 and higher. MAPPA’s on a roll!

Amazing!!!!

i just wanna see more!! 20 minutes is not enough. its too good

Awesome episode! Great pacing and the cgi was not too noticeable.

WAAAAYYYYY TOO HYPE

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 93 Responses

Mikasa and Levi took the spotlight this week! 30.1% of viewers felt most hyped up by Mikasa’s “explosive” reintroduction to the anime, while 22.6% were stoked to see Levi take on Porco to save Eren. 18.3% were most hyped by the Survey Corps taking on the Jaw Titan and the subsequent cliffhanger.

THE CGI CONTINUES TO BE A POINT OF CONTENTION. BE HONEST, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE EXECUTION OF CGI SO FAR THIS SEASON? 93 Responses

Just under 50% of responses seemed to indicate that they thought MAPPA was doing very well with the CGI utilized. A little over 15% stated that although it was not their favorite, they understood that it could be a lot worse. Other responses (in order) were being neutral about the CGI, not liking it, but understanding the need for its usage and folks who adamantly rejected 3D animation.

I actually prefer CGI titans because of the way their movements looks, it looks almost slower, to me it fits very well with how the big titans are. Im not an anime guy at all so ive never seen cgi in other anime but i really like the way Mappa's CGI looks, it blends in very well. I dont like CGI people though, the shot with Jean throwing the marly soldier off the rooftop i didn't like very much.

I feel horrible saying this believe me... but I really vibed with the CGI up until this episode. I think maybe because it's the first time its been used on humans (OPM) rather then titans. I'm not massively put off though, I really apreciate the efforts this episode must have taken. TY Mappa

The episode is great no doubt, my only concern is the CG personally, as a 3D artist myself, I think I would prefer an all 2D medium like the battle at Stohess. Using 3D is fine as long as it blends seamlessly to the background, like kengan ashura, it's not perfect but bearable.

I honestly think that 2D will always 100% be better than cgi but I can understand why mappa is using cgi

It was fine in the other episodes, but in this episode, it looked overused and bit bad

HOW WAS EREN’S ROOFTOP SWAN DIVE? 94 Responses

When it came down to Eren’s swan rooftop dive (“Like a fallennn angel…”), the majority seemed to be impressed, with 68% giving it a score of 4 or higher. It was not a monolithic opinion however and many seemed also rated it poorly. Do better, Eren!

WHICH RETURNING CHARACTER’S ENTRANCE WAS YOUR FAVORITE IN THIS EPISODE? 94 Responses

The Survey Corps has returned! Of these reappearances, viewers most enjoyed Mikasa’s (48.9%), Levi’s (31.9%) and Sasha’s (14.9%) the most. Jean and Connie got a little less love, though we’re sure people were still happy to see them!

WHICH RETURNING CHARACTERS HAS THE BEST GLOW UP? 93 Responses

It would appear that the slight plurality sees Mikasa as having the best glow up out of the cast, followed by (in order) Eren, Sasha, Connie, Jean, Floch and Levi. The Old Captain doesn’t like to change up his style, we suppose.

Eren didn't have a glow up- he had a glow down.

Mikasa can stomp on me please god

OF ALL THE ORIGINAL CAST, WE STILL HAVE NOT SEEM ARMIN, HANGE OR HISTORIA YET. WHICH OF THE THREE ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING NEXT? 93 Responses

In relation to the previous question, we still haven’t seen 3 major members of the cast. Armin, Hange and Historia. When we asked which of the three you were most looking forward to seeing next, the slight majority (52.7%) expressed their excitement for seeing Armin again, followed by 11.8% wanting to see Hange most. Some others have also expressed their desire to see Historia again. 17.2% simply could not choose and 10.8% stated that they simply didn’t care about the 3 characters.

WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT THE WARHAMMER TITAN? 90 Responses

The Warhammer received an overwhelmingly positive response, with the majority expressing much excitement over both its design and powers. 15.6% noted that the design was a bit too creepy for their liking, but the powers were awesome. And on the flip side, 10% noted the Titan’s design was rather cool, in contrast to its rather OP ability. A select few did not enjoy either aspect.

Would probably enjoy it more if it belonged to someone that likely is not going to be just cannon fodder

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE NEW UNIFORMS? 92 Responses

The Survey Corps returned sporting new uniforms to much fanfare. 30.4% of respondents really enjoy the upgrade, finding the suits to be badass. 23.9% couldn’t find the words and just settled for pure hype. 20.7% enjoy the new uniforms just as much as they enjoy the classic uniforms. 12% felt it was a much needed upgrade, though 10.9% don’t care at all about the uniform change.

I like both but I prefer the old design

EREN SAYS TO MIKASA, “YOU GUYS ACTUALLY CAME.” THIS IS FOLLOWED UP BY MIKASA ASKING EREN TO COME HOME. DOES THIS INSINUATE THAT EREN WENT TO THE MAINLAND ON HIS OWN? 90 Responses

The circumstances of the Survey Corps’ presence on the mainland continues to be a mystery. When we asked about whether Eren was there alone or not a few episodes ago, the majority believed that he was either there alongside the Survey Corps or was sent there by them. Overall, the feelings seem to be the same (that Eren came alongside the Survey Corps). 45.6% think that Mikasa’s words may have some other meaning and that things are way too planned out to be coincidence. 18.9% believe that Eren did go rogue, while 15.6% think that Eren didn’t necessarily go rogue, but wasn’t working with them for a while either. The remaining 20% have already been spoiled on this particular plot point.

THE ATTACK ON LIBERIO SEEMS TO PARALLEL THE BREACH OF SHIGANSHINA. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS EVENT IN COMPARISON? 92 Responses

Now that both sides of the conflict have had their rude awakening, we asked how you guys felt about the two events comparatively. 33.7% feel that both attacks were tragic, but still feel more empathy toward the Eldians on Paradis than they do toward those who were raised on Marley. At a tie, 22.8% of respondents felt that the victims of the Liberio attack got what was coming with them, while another 22.8% felt about the same amount of sympathy for the victims on both sides. 10.9% feel this is way worse than what happened in Shiganshina and feel more sympathy for the victims in Liberio.

I am yet to know the goals behind this attack.

Marley did this countless times so I don’t feel bad for them. I kind of feel for eldians tho bc they are brainwashed from a young age to give up their lives for a country who doesn’t give a shit about them.

Honestly they deserve what Eren is doing to them. Excluding Falco, no one outside of Paradis has earned my sympathy, even with the additional context.

SADLY, UDO AND ZOFIA DID NOT SURVIVE THE ATTACK ON LIBERIO. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THEIR DEATHS? 91 Responses

Udo and Zofia have joined the ranks of characters who tagged along with the main cast for a while only to be killed off for character development. 25.3% anticipated at least one of them to die, but not both. Another tie on this poll, 24.2% stated that they were disappointed and was hoping to see more of them, while another 24.2% didn’t care about them at all. 14.3% are happy to ditch the focus on them in favor of more familiar characters, and 8.8% feel pure and utter devastation.

Good riddance Warrior scum

Sad but allows for Gabi’s development

sad but okay. death is common in this anime.

EREN AND FLOCH’S LAST INTERACTION IN S3 WAS A VERY TENSE ARGUMENT. NOW IT SEEMS FLOCH IS DEDICATED TO EREN’S CALL TO ACTION, SHIFTING THE “NECESSARY DEVIL” STATUS FROM ERWIN ONTO HIM. WHAT DO YOU THINK THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS LIKE NOW? 91 Responses

Eren and Floch were anything but BFF’s at the closing of season 3. Now Floch seems to be wholly devoted to Eren’s cause… What changed? 28.6% believe that nothing has actually changed in terms of their relationship, but that Floch simply just latched onto Eren’s fight in need of a new devil. 23.1% feel that they still aren’t friends, but are in more comfortable “ally” territory. 15.4% aren’t sure what to make of it. Smaller handfuls feel that they either grew to become friends and/or co-conspired to attack Liberio together. 22% are already spoiled on the details.

Floch is easily persuaded...and annoying 🤷‍♀️

WE SEE GABI GRAB THE GUARD’S FUN AFTER WITNESSING SASHA KILL HIM. WHAT DO YOU THINK MIGHT HAPPEN? 90 Responses

Gabi moves headstrong into the fight, wanting to play her part in defending her hometown. A large chunk of anime only viewers have been spoiled on future developments for her character. But for those still in the dark - 24.4% feel that she will successfully kill a member of the Survey Corps. 21.1% aren’t sure what to expect, while 10% think she will only manage to injure someone in the Survey Corps. Smaller amounts feel she won’t be successful in any capacity or may even die herself.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

Epic episode, survey corps come back, OH YEAH, but I wished they didn’t use CGI on humans and bettered the CGI on Titans.

It really makes me sad how Eren is continuing the cycle of revenge by killing innocent Marleyan civilians, but it makes sense for his character.

Real cool ep but w h e r e a r m i n

It sucks that I like the warriors and the Corp bc both of them are victims in different way so seeing them have to go head to head sucks. They all deserve better

SO great I loved it! However, I missed Reiner, Falco, and Zeke. I hope they're okay :-) RIP Udo and Zofia :-(

I think I need more dialogue between the old crew to really settle back in with them. I kinda believe that Mappa's still trying to 'click', they obviously can't just get it right immediately. Other then that I loved the titan scenes, more than ODM scenes 😔

This was a great episode and I was literally vibrating in my seat from excitement! I think MAPPA is doing a great job with the animation and the music works really well with the action. Can’t wait for the rest of the season!

I miss wit studio

Willy seems to have his first daughter really early, he looks like 30 !

I’d say the episode as a whole is a solid 8-9/10, the cgi in some parts really ruins the moment for me

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 88 Responses

Thanks again to everyone who participated!

#snk poll #snk polls #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk #aot #snk s4

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biaswreckingfics · 3 years

Note

I GOT SO MUCH TO SAYYY!! gosh pls dont find me weird okay, and these are just my personal opinions and im not hating any groups!! but my unpopular opinion is: i think kpop has become very toxic after bts and bp got famous in America. And tbh if you ask me, i wouldnt want any other kpop groups to be famous in America... i only stan exo but i think i speak for all groups when i say they are safe as they are now... of course if exo ever get even more famous i will be happy and proud for their success. But look how fame and America has changed bts and bp... not tryna hate but look theyve changed, idk if anyone else noticed but after fame hits bts, i realised how theyve start to become very...white?? like they are so westernised and like example, they start focusing on America only, they even curse (not a lot but i’d still point out) casually like for example, jungkook singing a curse word in his cover song for jason derulo savage love i think (speaking of cursing, after nct127 got famous in usa mark started getting influenced by them too and he casually cursed like “oh fuck” and everyones like 😃😆) even i curse and im not saying cursing is BADD but yeah i am, and how they sing a whole song in english, not to even mention how toxic america is but in grammys they have sold tons of albums yet they didnt win anything but when they release an english song, they won.

Some half of them americans are very toxic, racist, and just theyre basically acid, like bruh, its evident that once bts got famous there are soooo much hate thrown towards bts too cuz theyre asians, or how some would say theyre gay or look like girls...if my favs (exo) ever get these kinds of treatments (not that they dint but veryy little cuz thank god they ain exposed to the western culture) i will B R E A K, i could never handle that so i would never want that to happen to them. Also noticed how, after bts got famous, most armys are equally as toxic, whether they are just stanning bts just cuz theyre famous there, or like how their fans dont even know anything abt bts and coming after so many groups and their fans. Most of them are fake and i think its cuz of the fame for bts lmao. One thing i’d like to say too tho, is how they are so overrated and their songs are played all the damn time, people would randomly talk abt them, like everywhere you go THEY ARE JUST THERE, like in my opinion if i am an army, i would just feel like they are so common and theres nothing special about them anymore and theres no excitement, like what even is the point anymore. idk if anyone gets me but thats just how i feel about my favs being “wOrLdWiDe fAmOuS”, i will love them and their music but its just something i think about tbh🤷🏻‍♀️ like let me listen to them on my own and vibe and love them, dont play it 24/7 just cuz they are famous and ure tryna get people’s attention, like imagine ure in the subway and u hear ur favs song cuz its EVERYWHERE and ure there like 😐😐 not that u dont love their music but its cuz horrible people dont deserves to listen to their songs, and like people arent going to appreciate them anyway so yeah i feel uncomfortable listening to my favs as others dont even bother, like imagine if that subway is filled with people who are in ur fandom, yall would just hv the best time in the world and VIBE, if not what even is the point. Idk if im explaining it properly, but its badically like, u feeling UNCOMFORTABLE or should i even say SELFISH cuz u do not want to be sharing ur favs with people who dont even deserve to KNOW about them. Basically like seeing how someone you HATE or bullied you back then talking and being all friendly fake with ur BESTEST FRIEND or even boyfriend/girlfriend, cuz u just want to protect them from EVIL (im so dramatic)

And well lastly, no Bts did not paved the way, or “bts is the best and only group” like no, so many amazing artists were breaking records way before bts was even a thing (no hate to bts) but they really need to get slap for having that mindset, they really make a bad image for bts...tbh kpop before was so peaceful (a little toxic but still, compared to now...BYE) and everything was just about idols and fans love, listening and supporting and loving their music and just so comforting... urgh anyway thats all i wanna say and here are some texts i saved relating to kpop groups going famous worldwide uwu

these are also examples, and honestly speaking here, i dont want to be specific as in “exo” cuz i think this happens for ALL the groups out there and the love and relationship between the idols and their fans (family) are just beautiful, but for bts and armys... tbh i feel bad because i just dont see or feel any love they hv for each other (sure we see bts saying i love you armys or armys supporting bts but with all the toxicity in their way, theres just no spark or chemistry or bond no more it’s basically like one direction and their fans and thats all they are, celebrity-fan, but for kpop its family), i can see other groups and their fans interacting or how idols would light up talking abt their fans, but for bts, theres just soooo much mess going on in their fandom its not special anymore, they lost the deep meaning of their group love and IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT but YEAH DJSHSKSJ OH and to add somethign else, they got famous in America, look at all the collabs🤡🤡 blackpink with cardi b, bts with nicki etc... not that collabs arent fun... im just saying these american artists... they dont exactly have a good reputation (americans singing about sex (not the good kind), money, girls and drugs) 🥴🥴 dont influenced my faves and let them be exposed to the toxic culture YALL GET ME?? KPOP HAS THE LETTER K FOR A REASON😭😭😭 let them be their own shining star, not everything has to be involved or a part of aMeRiCa to be amazing.... PHEW IVE SAID IT NOW BEFORE ANYONE GETS MAD AT ME, I DONT MEAN TO SOUND RUDE TO YOU, if youre an american and youre no where near being toxic, I LOVE YOU but im just saying, the western culture is toxic and im just saying what ive been observing and noticing🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️ ps: i still love exo till the max and everything about them is perfect and theyre just amazing people (everything i said that bts and armys dont really have anymore, i think thankfully, EXO (sorry im biased) most fandoms still have so much of the L O V E there and i find that extraordinary) and he fandom is so comforting and amazing and idk dkdjjdjss thats why i dont want them getting famous worldwide...sorry exols ANYWAY THATS ALL FOR MY RANT ITS 4AM AND I AM THINKING OF DELETING THIS💀💀💀 anywya sorry for taking up so much space but i just wanna say I FREKAING LOVE NO EXIT, NO LIMITS, basically all ur exo fics cuz why not🥺🥺 i think ur writing skills are amazing as well as the plots and all especially forsaken, and THANK YOU for two bbhxoc fics😭😭😭 i cant!!! also if u reached here idk i-🥲 i hope u didnt get mad or offended 👀

Reply under the cut!!

Kpop has become extremely toxic with the growth of international fans and the rise of 3rd/4th gen. I wasn't around to experience the previous generations, but I know damn well they weren't a mess like these newer ones are.

Gaining fame in America does seem to change idols, and idk why. The group members change and the music changes also. While I do enjoy hearing idols swear (guilty pleasure) and I am an American so I get to enjoy their English songs, I can see how it makes all the other cultures/countries feel some type of way.

I will say this, though, the Grammys are shit and I dont get why people care so much about them. They've proven time and time again the awards don't go to the best artists. However, this doesn't mean that I think BTS deserved a Grammy imo.

Americans are a very toxic and hate filled bunch (again, I am one, so I get to see this shit every day). I 100% know that some of the hate directed towards Asians is because of racism (as seen by the insane uptick in crime against Asian Americans right now) and because some see kpop male idols as too feminine.

BTS is literally everywhere, which is one of the reasons I stopped listening to them tbh. They'd be in commercials, on talk shows, late night shows, in magazines, on the radio, just everywhere. It took the joy out of watching anything from them just because they were always in my face, so I can see what you mean.

I feel like the relationship between BTS and army has changed (from an outsiders perspective). Its no longer about loving and supporting your group and being happy for them. Now, its "so-so wants this? We MUST do everything in our power and spam every possible thing ever so they get what they want". Its almost frightening. They also no longer care about the quality of the music being put out. Doesn't matter what it is, they stream the ever loving shit out of it and make it break records when, honestly, it doesn't deserve to (again imo).

Lastly, I didnt get mad or offended haha. I understand a lot of these viewpoints, and thank you so much for liking my work!! I do wonder what would happen if I made a true BBH centric fic and not just spin offs or continuations of previous works where oc ends up with BBH 🤔🤔 I think that fic would have too much power haha.

#unpopular kpop opinions #sehunsthetics

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maraudererasmut · 4 years

Text

Black and White (Part XXVIII)

((Remind me again why I chose to use Roman Numerals for the chapters?! Anyway... ENJOY!!! <3))

Remus arrived at Black and White early in the afternoon, wearing his one and only suit. He was clean-shaven, his hair was brushed, and he looked as presentable as he could manage, all things considered.

As he entered the gallery, he noticed that there were already a few people there. James and Lily were walking around, organizing tables with food and pamphlets. There was a makeshift bar set up, where a server was sorting the alcohol and setting out glasses. Sirius was talking with a member of the waitstaff, giving directions and explaining what needed to be done throughout the night.

Still feeling the weight of anxiety pressing heavily on his shoulders, Remus headed over to the bar.

"Hey…" He managed to get out, smiling at the woman behind the counter. She gave him a confused look. "Oh, uh… I'm one of the artists. I'm… I'm allowed to be here, I promise."

"Oh!" She said, beaming at Remus. "Well, your work is very beautiful!"

"Ah… thanks…" Remus felt himself smile, despite the whole Sirius situation; it was really nice to be complimented on his work and it happened so rarely in his life. The bartender returned his grin, a slight flush falling across her cheeks.

"You'd better get used to people saying that. This night is all about you and your art."

"Heh… yeah," Remus answered awkwardly. "I suppose it is."

"You look like you could use a glass of wine…"

"You know what…" Remus eyed the collection of fancy wines behind the bar; wines that he was allowed to try for free thanks to his art. He had worked hard to get to this point, and regardless of how his personal life was looking, he knew he should still take a moment to be proud of himself. He had come so far in just a few weeks. "I think I will have one. I deserve it."

The bartender poured Remus a glass, which he graciously accepted and brought with him as he walked through the gallery. He paused in front of his most recent work, taking in the depth of the painting, remembering his emotions as he had brought it to life. He was still experiencing the same turmoil, still struggling through the same complex feelings.

"Do not get drunk tonight," a voice said from behind the artist.

Remus froze, feeling his stomach tighten and his shoulders tense. He turned around to face Sirius, hardening his expression.

"It's a glass of wine, Sirius. I think I'm entitled to it," he spat, glaring at the gallery owner. Sirius was purposefully causing trouble at this point.

"Yes, well, we don't want any mean old gallery owners taking advantage of you when you pass out." Sirius had a sneer on his face as he taunted Remus, and the artist clenched his fists in fury.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Sirius?!" Remus' voice was louder than he intended and it rang through the gallery, echoing across the walls.

Sirius was about to retort, most likely some snide comment, when James approached them.

"Office. Both of you. Now!"

Remus had never seen James that angry before. His voice was sharp and aggressive, paired with a deep crimson glow spreading across his cheeks. The dark umber of his eyes flashed with intensity. Remus shrunk before his penetrating glare, feeling surprisingly small before the other man.

"This is my gallery, Potter! You can't tell me what to do!"

"Sirius, you're embarrassing yourself," James growled, stepping towards the gallery owner. "There are people here. Act professional. You and Remus need to go into your office and sort this shit out, do you understand me?"

Sirius looked like he was deliberating, considering his retort, before he changed his mind and turned around in a huff. He marched himself straight to the gallery office and Remus dutifully followed, feeling like a child that had just been scolded.

Once the two of them were in the office, James stuck his head through the door.

"If this isn't settled by the time the show opens, so help me—"

"Yes, James," Sirius grumbled, acting more like James' son than his brother.

James left Remus and Sirius alone in the office, closing the door behind him. Once they were by themselves, Sirius turned to Remus, glaring at him expectantly.

"Well?"

"Well what?" Remus snapped angrily. He was tired of Sirius playing games with him. He understood that he did something wrong, but the gallery owner had no right to provoke him and try to draw a reaction. "You're the one who came up to me!"

Sirius crossed his arms and let out a pfft while rolling his eyes.

"I was just making sure that you knew not to get drunk this evening, so as to not repeat past mistakes."

"Fuck off!" Remus yelled, forgetting himself for a moment and allowing his frustration to take over. "You know what? Yeah! I thought we hooked up while I was drunk! Is that such an absurd thought?! Is it really so farfetched that I thought I had sex with you?!"

Sirius looked taken aback.

"Yes, Remus! You were drunk!" He was clearly upset, his pale skin turning a bright shade of red across his cheeks and ears.

"So what?!" Remus shouted, finally putting words to the feelings that had been boiling up inside of him. "I thought we fucked! I've spent the past three weeks thinking about it, of course I'd assume that Drunk Remus would act on it!"

Sirius' mouth was hanging open. He blinked.

"You…"

Sirius was at a loss for words. Remus rolled his eyes and continued his tirade.

"Yeah. There it is. The whole damn truth. Pathetic little Remus had feelings for Sirius! Laugh it up! Tell me how stupid it is that someone like me could even fathom being with someone like you! I know it's insane! I get that! And I know I'm an idiot for thinking it could actually happen! And I'm sorry! I'm sorry that I thought we had sex! I'm sorry it felt like I thought you were a bad person! I didn't. I just assumed that… maybe… I just…"

Remus cut himself off. What did he assume?

"... you're not an idiot." Sirius muttered, his eyes drifting down slightly.

"Shut up, Sirius! Just… shut up! I don't need your pity! I don't need everyone's pity! I don't need people feeling bad for the pathetic artist who isn't good enough to make it on his own!" Remus didn't even know what he was yelling about at this point, he was just yelling. He was getting all of his feelings out, the ones that didn't fit into his paintings, and he seemed to have broken the damn.

"I don't think you're pathetic..."

"God dammit, Sirius! I just… I thought maybe… just maybe… there was a chance that… that you liked me too. That's why I assumed we had sex. I just… part of me… and it's so stupid, I know that. I see that now. I just didn't realize it at the time."

"... you're not stupid."

Remus stared at Sirius, completely floored. What was Sirius playing at? A moment ago, he had been inexplicably rude to Remus. Why would his tune change so suddenly?

"Don't patronize me! Don't you think you've made me feel bad enough?! I never meant to accuse you of anything! It was a mistake!"

"...I know."

Remus stopped. He stared open-mouthed at the man before him, whose face was crestfallen and… guilty?

"You know?! Yesterday you yelled at me about this!"

"I didn't know yesterday. But… I get it now."

"What are you talking about?!"

"I— I hadn't realized…" Sirius looked up at Remus, stormy grey eyes clouded with remorse. He looked lost, sincere, authentically apologetic. Remus felt his breath catch in his chest as he stared into Sirius' eyes, remembering their night together talking in the gallery. It had been so honest — a different side to Sirius that rarely came out.

"What hadn't you realized, Sirius?" Remus' voice was quivering. He was still upset, but he wasn't shouting. He didn't feel like he needed to yell anymore in order to be heard.

"I— I didn't know that you— that you wanted— " Sirius' body moved forward the slightest amount, an infinitesimally small step that brought their two worlds that much closer together. "I didn't realize that you had feelings for me."

"Fuck off," Remus swore, rolling his eyes. "Of course you knew. You've spent the past few weeks shamelessly flirting with me! Only now I realize that I was just a plaything for you." Remus didn't notice how harsh his words were until he saw the hurt painted across Sirius' features. "Is— isn't that what you were doing?"

"I… I flirted with you because I liked you, Remus… I just assumed you…" Sirius eyes flickered away for just a moment. "You never flirted back, I just assumed you weren't interested."

Remus stared at Sirius, confusion written across his face.

"The fuck? Sirius, you're… you're the gallery owner. Of course I couldn't— I just— what the hell is going on?" The artist ran a hand through his curls, trying to think, trying to sort out the past few weeks in his mind. "Then what was that out there?" He gestured wildly towards the rest of the gallery. "What the hell was that?"

"I was mad, Remus! I thought… I thought you had blamed me! I thought that you thought that I took advantage of you!" Sirius scrunched his face up in frustration— still looking surprisingly attractive— before brushing his bangs away from his eyes. "I was mad when you left and assumed we did it because I thought you thought the worst of me. I was hurt."

"I told you—"

"I know! I just… it never crossed my mind that… that you thought we hooked up because it was something you wanted to do… it just… never occurred to me that— that you'd even want to!"

"Of course I'd fucking want to…" Remus mumbled before he caught himself. "Shit… I mean… not that… I just—"

Before Remus could explain to the gallery owner why he just admitted to wanting to have sex with him, Sirius was suddenly there, in front of Remus, raising a hand to brush an errant curl from the artist's eyes. Remus blinked up into swirling blues and greys, wondering what the hell happened in the last few minutes that caused this.

"Sirius, I—"

"Remus…" Sirius muttered, barely audibly, the name lilting off his tongue. The pad of Sirius' thumb grazed Remus' cheek, an almost imperceptible touch of skin on skin. "Remus, I fancy you. I have for a while now. And I probably should have told you sooner."

"B— but…" Remus stammered, trying to make sense of everything. "But you were so mean out there… and— and— and you were so mad at me!"

"I was an idiot. I didn't think someone as perfect as you could ever care about someone as broken as me. And I built up barriers between us... I am so sorry."

Sirius' voice was tender, affectionate, paired with such an earnest gleam in his eyes. Remus felt himself melting before Sirius' smouldering gaze, felt the wall between them finally shatter.

"I'm not perfect…" Remus mumbled. It was all he could think to say in response.

"I want to kiss you…" Sirius' words were barely a whisper, and Remus' heart was racing. His mind flashed back to the previous weekend, the feeling of Sirius' lips against his own, the way their mouths moved. Remus wanted this, more than anything, but he felt a tug in his stomach. The voice in his head was warning him against this, reminding him of their dynamic, of gallery owner and artist. Sirius was in a position of power over him, and yet…

Sirius hadn't moved. He was waiting for Remus to respond. He refused to act on anything without Remus' express consent.

Remus closed his eyes and closed the gap, pressing his lips into Sirius'. He felt Sirius' hand cup his face, the other one weaving around his body. He felt Sirius' lips moving in sync with his own. Remus could have sworn that he was floating, his feet lifting off the ground. He felt fireworks in his stomach, exploding and crackling and causing a ruckus so loud, he was sure Sirius could hear it.

This was exactly where Remus wanted to be— where he wanted to spend the rest of his life— right there in Sirius' arms.

Knock knock knock.

Remus almost yelped, he was so startled. He immediately pulled away from Sirius, breaking their connection and the magic that tied them together. The expression on Sirius' face told Remus that he was equally as surprised and dismayed.

"I don't hear yelling. Should I be happy, or is one of you dead?"

Sirius cleared his throat and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"N— No one's dead, Potter. Don't worry." He turned to Remus and offered a sheepish smile before straightening himself up and adjusting his tie. "I think… I think things are worked out."

Sirius gave one last glance over to Remus, who was still standing there, mouth agape, wondering what was going on. Sirius reached out and gently brushed his fingers against Remus' arm, offering the artist a timid grin filled with emotion. Then, as if transforming into a different person altogether, Sirius turned around and threw his Gallery Owner smile onto his face.

Sirius opened the door and nodded at James, who was waiting just outside of the office.

"Not to worry, Potter. Remus has assured me that this misunderstanding won't happen again."

The artist stood in the office for a moment, briefly considering staying there all night. He shook his head out, rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms, and took a page from Sirius' book. The man who emerged from the office was Artist Remus: feigning confidence and ready to perform the song and dance required of him to sell his work.

((So? Was it all worth the wait? ;) ))

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axelmcsm · 3 years

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I love my mom and we've been reconnecting over the past year, it's great. Anyway you can't convince anyone you have self esteem or confidence if you're begging for reblogs on every single post and are literally saying it's crushing that people are liking instead of reblogging your work. Accept that people are supporting your art even if they don't reblog it, and use that as fuel instead of feeling entitled to people's attention, because that will only ever make you feel like shit

okay you know what no actually because you seem to think you’re entitled to my attention every time i wake up from a nap so ill give it to you

do you know how art works. do you know how art is spread on the internet specifically tumblr. i don’t think you do because on tumblr people usually lock or private their likes- effectively hiding them from everyone. likes, even if everyone’s likes were always public, effectively do nothing because they aren’t loud and don’t put the work right in front of you. artists need exposure to get their work out there so they can be seen.

reblogs do a multitude of things. they spread the work of the artist and also you have the option to leave a nice comment in the tags; both things can really boost an artists morale and motivation to work. some artists take commissions and getting reblogs on their work could get them more comms, effectively getting them more money to do things they need and maybe eventually do things they want. a reblog holds more possibility for an artist than a like- its not even like reblogging is hard, either. press two buttons and you’re done!

if it doesn’t “fit the blog” then you can make a reblog blog for art you like to use for inspiration when you have art block or something similar! it’s a wonderful idea and i’ve done it myself.

i think you’ve been misinterpreting my posts. if me wanting to possibly get more attention for work ive been slaving over for my entire life and have built myself and my online presence around, you can leave. simple as that. choose not to see my posts if they bother you that much that you send me essay asks calling me a beggar and telling me i don’t have self esteem.

i may be horribly mentally ill and maybe you’re taking advantage of that by talking shit, but i assure you i have plenty of self esteem and maybe more to go around. im pretty full of myself, actually. apparently you aren’t because you’re hiding behind anon instead of coming to my face and saying this. you know what you’re saying is rude/disrespectful, and you don’t want to face the backlash, is that right? i don’t think i’m the one with low self esteem here.

anyway please do not come into my inbox and call me a beggar. i am a young trans man working to try and get money to get surgery and hormones later in the future, and i’ve never spoken about it before due to it being my personal buisness. the art world is hard to get by in and i need to be as loud as possible to even get by slightly.

i do worry for your mental health, since apparently you need to punch down at children to feel better. i hope you have a good night.

#hallow.asks

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amai-mochi1 · 3 years

Text

PSA none of this is cannon in the MSA and NSR. Universe!

Also if you don't know what danganronpa is its a game about high school students trapped in a school or place and forced to partake in a killing game. There's 3 games and 3-4 animes so go check em

This series will be in either Zukes point of view or Vivis point of view as they are both protagonists

🎶Prolouge🎶

The start of it all

ow...what happened?...my head hurts and I cant see anything? Am I even awake?" I thought to myself as all I could see currently was a black void, after a few minutes I could hear someone else, at first I couldn't tell who It was but then I realized it was Lewis. "Hey! Hon get up!" I heard Lewis yell out, I heard another voice and I realized it was Arthur "is she alright?..." he asked and I heard Lewis respond to him "she's alright..vivi you need to wake up!.." Vivi...is that my name? Wait yes it is! I'm Vivi the ultimate Paranormal investigator...but where am i?.." I opened my eyes and was greeted to lewis crouched down by me while Arthur was standing nearby "see i told you she was alright!" Lewis said as he looked over to Arthur. Arthur nodded and smiled seeing that I was alright. Lewis helped me up and held my hand "come on we got to go to the main hall with the others.." the main hall? Others? What was going on? Where even were we??. "Others?...wait whats going on and where are we.?" I said as I followed Lewis with arthur following behind me "yeah there's other people here, some we know and others...I have no idea who they are..as for where we are and whats going on no clue.." Lewis said as we got to the main hall. He was right though there was some people here i knew, Chloe and Duet were here, there both coworkers at my job, I also see Arthur's uncle Lance and Mystery! As soon as I saw Mystery I ran over to him and hugged him, he seemed really happy to see me and stayed in my arms, I then noticed there was a strange...woman?..thing standing near us looking at mystery with a glare. Woman is kinda what she looked like but she was green and had what looked to be a bonsi on her head. I then noticed the others here, some looked kinda bazar and others looked fairly normal. Lewis smiled and waved to them as arthur went over to lance, "were back everyone.." Lance said as another male walked over "is this everyone?" They asked Lewis and he nodded in response, arthur looked at everyone kinda nervous "soo..should we introduce ourselves or are we just going to sit here in silence?.."

I put mystery down and stood up "thats a great idea arthur! I'll go first..hello I'm vivi the ultimate Paranormal investigator! And this is my dog mystery" Lewis smiled and went next "hello. Im Lewis pepper and im the ultimate cook..." he looked over at Arthur and Arthur nodded "h-hey.. im arthur the ultimate mechanic and this..is my uncle.." Lance nodded and stood next to Arthur crossing his arms "im Lance the ultimate uncle.." the guy who was talking to lewis before walked over and a girl followed "hello every im zuke the ultimate drummer and this is ma-" she pushed him slightly "Zuke i can introduce myself thank you!..ehem hello! I'm Mayday the ultimate guitarist!!" Someone strange walked forward abit and cleared there voice "Im DJ subtonic supernova! DJ SS for short considering that's a mouthfull..." a pink mermaid perked in after him "Im sayu the ultimate mermaid!! Its so nice to meet you all!!" A noticed a little girl tug on DJ SS pants and he groaned holding her up as she smiled "hello there everyone im Yinu the ultimate pianist.." Duet and Chloe waved and both introduced themselves "hey guys..im duet im the ultimate bookshop owner and this is chloe.." Chloe waved and spoke after duet "im the ultimate cosplayer.." a tall lady crossing her arms huffed "ill go next...im Eve the ultimate artist..." another lady walked forward and was about to introduce herself when Mayday interrupted "And this kul fyra the ultimate rocks!!-" the lady pushed Mayday away and sighed "I dont go by that name or ultimate anymore!- ehem...hello I'm tatianna quartz...the Ultimate CEO..also please don't call me kul fyra.." Mayday seemed kinda upset and walked over to zuke and stood next to him crossing her arms.

Tatiana sighed and crossed her arms "now with that taken care of does anyone have a clue as to what's going on around here?...and possibly a way out of here?" Chloe nodded and pointed to a door "theres a way out of this building but there's a huge dome covering the whole place...and there's areas out there that are blocked by fencing." Duet nodded to what Chloe said and Tatiana sighed "that's not getting us very far and is a grave predicament but thank you for the info...uhm chloe.."

After Tatiana finished talking a weird voice chirped in "That is a predicament indeed!!" I looked around and saw a weird bear dog thing standing up, it looked kinda like mystery. Mystery was growling at him and it shooed him away "go away.!.." I picked mystery up and looked at it "um...who and what..are you?" I said looking at it. It looked up at me and smiled "how rude of me not to introduce myself i am MonoMyst! Nice to meetcha! I'm the principal of this fine school!"

Zuke looked at MonoMyst confused "principal...? School im already confused.." MonoMyst smiled and jumped onto a stool "then let me illuminate for you! You lucky 15 people have been chosen for a special program! This school and the world given to outside is where you'll live for the rest of your lives!. I looked at MonoMyst confused "rest of our lives? What do you mean??" Everyone else looked at him and started talking to him and each other confused as MonoMyst Clapped "well there's food and supplys here as well as entertainment, and as most of you have probably already seen no exits!" Lance visibly got angry and pointed at him "Who do you think you are?! You can just force us to leave here!" MonoMyst slapped his hand away and Arthur had to pull him back "well ive already said im MonoMyst and you don't have to live here, you can actually leave if you finish a simple task, and that simple task is to kill someone!" Everyone went silent and stared at MonoMyst before sayu spoke up "kill someone?.." MonoMyst looked down then pulled out a microphone "can you guys not hear me very well? Yes I said you have to kill someone.. You are in MusicRoads life of killing program after all! If you want out of this place all you gotta do is off one of your fellow participants..and if someone doesn't die in the next 48 hours ill present a motive! But until then look around and get an idea of the place where you'll be spending the rest of your lives!!" He jumped back and ran off out of the room. A killing game?.. this is crazy..were stuck in a place with no exits and no way out...What are we going to do?

🎶End of Prolouge🎶

Holy cow ive never written this much but I hope you all enjoy this! Its alittle wonky and nothing like a book as this is my first time doing this so yeah!

Feel free to use the chart to put what you think who is who id love to see also if you get really into this know I have school and that It might take a while to add more parts.

#mysteryskulls #MysteryMusicRoadsRonpa #nsr djss #no straight roads #msa au

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slightlymore · 4 years

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Dood I love NCT Sm I rly jus wanna come up to them n educate them all abt Cultural Appropriation so they don’t repeat the same mistakes over n over again. I can’t stand seeing the hate they receive for stuff they do that they possibly DK the significance of 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

long post

although we don't know if they actually know it or not, I think they're smarter than doing ca knowing it's offensive on broadcasts on purpose, like you have to be an absolute idiot (maybe they are at this point idk)

also, it's obviously not fans' duty to keep educate them and I've seen a lot of discourse of people being rightfully tired of keep doing so. but at the same time, it's worth mentioning that a lot of international discourse hardly gets to their ears anyways. there was the wondering as to why sm is so quick to react when less important stuff happens but it won't react with ca even if many people email them about the matter. my answer is that sm as a general company will not take into consideration elements that are not directly impacting their name or the name of their artists in korea. for example, no one in korea probably knows about the ca issues and if they know because they've seen it on Twitter they don't care to spread the word. unless it's something huge when everyone talks about it (and from our perspective ca is huge but still, just some people are talking about it on Twitter, it's not on the trendings in korea) then sm will not make a statement because they think it's useless and it will only get them negative attention (in my opinion, sm will get positive attention if they apologize or make a statement because it will make them look aware, educated and responsible but that’s just my opinion).

you'd think that since sm is expanding a lot overseas it would be more careful to take into consideration every culture and every country's opinion but it's not true.

at the same time, even if they don't care as a company to educate their artists and even if they're assholes (idols legit receive an education as in "if you date we will cut your balls" so I don't think it's hard for sm to do a workshop once a year and have a person explain ca to them or get the idol and say “yo, what you did is shit, stop”) since they're business people at least they should care about the money they would lose if they keep acting poorly. their money still comes from fans and if fans turn their backs to them they won't have it anymore.

idols could definitely educate themselves without companies stepping in but I think if the general korean public started to get educated first so international voices can be heard and spread by everyone then it will definitely help a lot

to give you an example, I live in Italy which can be seen as a cultured country when it comes to social issues, yet no one knows about the Indian dance moves, using black hairstyles if you're not black, calling roma people slurs, even all types of slurs going around. I personally know about it because I live on the internet and I speak English, but the average Italian person has no idea about it, no one talks about it ever. of course some of them will not give a fuck after you educate them but most of them after I say "hey this is why you should not do this because of this reason" they will stop and say that they had no idea. my mom was shocked to hear about black people not getting jobs or getting made fun of because they have natural hair and her rightful question was "why would they be denied work because of that?" because no one here really knows about other cultures' struggles if they're not actively spending a lot of time studying about it.

this is absolutely not to justify the lack of education koreans have as a population, but it’s still an element worth mentioning. if idols keep doing shit im inclined to say that maybe they don’t care about it (very dangerous take for them if they want to keep their reputations intact so it’s probably not the case) or they legit still don’t know about it which to us sounds absurd but I am a international relationships graduate and there’s still so much about the world I have no idea about and i am learning everyday.

people like taeyong, although i have no fucking clue how he really is irl, will probably listen and understand fans’ concerns, especially him. and i can’t imagine him knowing about it and not giving a single damn. i also wish there were easier ways to make them understand certain things.

I will end this long ass post by also mentioning how i think it’s very offensive and rude the way fandoms use social issues to feed into their wars and honestly it makes me boil with anger. everytime there’s something going on, i see the “yeah but your faves did this and this” or the first to act upon an issue is the “rival” fandom just because they finally have something to shit on the other group about. most of the people ive seen lamenting about ca are people that have no reason to feel offended about said thing but they just jump on the hate wagon because they generally hate a certain group. ca and other sensitive topics should not be the object of petty conflicts. people are appropriating someone else’s pain for their own stupid use instead of being mature and responsible people

#ask

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if-the-crown-fits-translate-it · 3 years

Text

Discord pt 105

[Date: 28/03, 2:13 AM GMT - 28/03, 2:56 AM GMT]

Duke: “Greetings. It is our delight and honour to meet your acquaintance.”

Duchess: “My name is Duchess. My brother is Duke. Charmed, I'm sure.”

[People welcome Duke and Duchess to the server]

Kate: “Hello you two! Welcome to the server!”

Duke: “Such kindness and warmth, how lovely it is to see.”

Kate: “I’m sure you’ll find that the people here are... quite quirky, to say the least.”

Duchess: “Ah, all the more interesting! I'm sure everyone will get along swimmingly.”

donti (e) (child): “we try to”

jayyyyyyyy: “dont be too sure about that”

S T A L: “Greetings you two! Apologies for the odd language but my ender is... subpar.”

Duke: “How quaint. The way you speak simply adds to your intrigue, Stal.”

Kate: “Oh, from what I’ve seen so far, Stal’s pretty alright!”

Kate: “There’s a few people here I’d... advise you to avoid conversing with. Some of them aren’t fans of the family.”

Duchess: “Oh, I'm sorry to hear, Kate! we'll do our best to be cautious, then. :)”

[Big G: “!! Stal u speak galactic??”]

S T A L: “Ah, it's my original language”

Renboobigceenzatublraffectionate: “would now be an aproprate time to do a fit check or no?-”

Duke: “A fit check? what is that?”

Kate: “What is this with you and fit checks?”

jayyyyyyyy: “ren just wants to know what youre wearing

which sounds weird now that ive said it out loud but its really not”

Duke: “You wish to know what clothes my sister and I adorn? Are you interested in the style and cut of cloth or the colour of the dye? I am afraid I am baffled as to what you are asking I must admit.”

Jack the Observer: “For the artists here, what sort of clothes you and your siblings like to wear is very important”

Duchess: “I think I understand, Duke. I have a photo of my current attire. Does this suffice?”

[jayyyyyyyy: “hey duke, duchess, i want your guys' opinions on something”]

jayyyyyyyy: “still wanting your guys' opinion on a thing”

Duke: “What opinion of ours do you crave, Jay?”

[Jeight proceeds to send the lyrics of the Fortnite theme song in the chat:]

jayyyyyyyy: “[Chorus: All]

Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today

You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake

I really love to chug jug with you

We can be pro-Fortnite gamers

[Water Break: bogwandyy & Chief Beef]

Bro my jaw hurts so much

Water break

[Bridge: All]

La-la-la-la-la-e-ya

Will you be my pro Fortnite gamer? (Pro Fortnite gamer)

[Verse 3: All]

Can we get a win this weekend?

Take me to Loot Lake

Let's change the game mode and we can Disco Dominate

Let's hop in an ATK

Take me to the zone

I'm running kind of low on mats, I need to break some stone

Dressed in all his fancy clothes

He's got Renegade Raider and he's probably a pro

He just shot my back

I turn back and I attack

I just got a victory royale

A victory royale

[Chorus: All]

Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today

You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake

I really love to chug jug with you

We can be pro Fortnite gamers

opinion on this ^^^”

Renboobigceenzatublraffectionate: “jeight I dont think they can give their opinion on something if they dont know what the thing is”

[The people question why Jeight is the way he is and admonish him for his question.]

Kate: “... Duchess, I gotta ask. Where did you get that dress? Because that is GORGEOUS.”

Duchess: “That is... A fascinating piece.”

[People exclaim how pretty Duchess’s dress is!]

Duchess: “Ah, Kate, I purchased it from a particular online vendor! It is one of my favorites.”

Duke: “The misspelling of a fortnight is very concerning to me, are your tutors illiterate by chance? I do not judge if so, only suggest hiring new ones who may give you a proper education.”

Big G (they/them): “Jeight did you know that you're one of my favorites?”

Jack the Observer: “Duke, I am so sorry on Jay's behalf.”

jayyyyyyyy: “I copy and pasted it :] its not fortnight, but actually fortnite, a popular online videogame

why are you sorry. I’m amazing”

Kate: “...I forgot you people play that stupid game.”

Jack the Observer: “Jeight, literally just sit down and be quiet please.”

Duke: “Apologies, what is a video game?”

Big G (they/them): “wait huh”

jayyyyyyyy: “youre forgiven! (though it was a little rude to assume I’m illiterate”

Kate: “It's a game that you play on a electronic device, like a computer.”

jayyyyyyyy: “its a victory royale based game, where you spawn in on an island, gather materials, and try to be the last one standing”

Renboobigceenzatublraffectionate: “Duke do you now what poggers, pog, or pogchamp is”

jayyyyyyyy: “I dont actually play it, but it became very popular a few years ago

Jack the Observer: “literally stop. stop. how are you all so impolite

Duchy, I am so sorry”

Kate: “ ... I can show you both later? It's easier to show than explain, really.”

jayyyyyyyy: “"you are all so impolite" says the one calling him duchy”

Big G (they/them): “ooo”

Duchess: “I, at least, am familiar with the internet, video games, and "pogchamp".

I must say I am not sure why Duke has no knowledge on these matters. It is frankly somewhat concerning.”

llyr (they/them): “that's their twitter name though, I dont think it's impolite 3:”

jaynoblade: “...jay that is literally the term for the two of them. theyre called the duchy.”

[jayyyyyyyy: “"you are all so impolite" says the one calling him duchy”]

Jack the Observer: “that is literally what Duke and Duchess are called as a group. its a title.”

jayyyyyyyy: “oh! I thought you were calling Duke "duchy" and I was really confused, my bad

Duke: “I understand you may be giving me this information in hopes that I will see clarity where I have been blind before but through the eyes of I this is truly confusing. Do not treat me as a fool.”

Duke: “Jack I thank you for your courteous behaviour, it is most comforting in such strange times.”

jayyyyyyyy: “my bad, Duke. I didnt mean to seem like that. I was just trying to explain because you seemed really confused-- ill stop now”

Jack the Observer: “They are, I believe, purposefully trying to confuse you, and I deeply apologize. That's just... how they are.”

jayyyyyyyy: “I was not. it was just a welcoming prank”

Duke: “Thank you. It is not my intention to cause strife and discord but I do not enjoy being laughed at like the main attraction at a rare wonders show.”

Jack the Observer: “they just got here.”

llyr (they/them): “a welcoming prank??”

jayyyyyyyy: “they're not actually laughing at you, Duke. they're laughing at me”

emuhlee: “Jack is right. This is just, how it is around here.”

Jack the Observer: “They literally just got here. and you thought the best way to welcome them. was to mock them for not knowing things that you do??

what kind of logic–”

jayyyyyyyy: “I wasny mocking them jack”

Jack the Observer: “could've fooled me”

jayyyyyyyy: “I pulled a little prank and when they showed confusion I genuinely tried to explain it to them”

Jack the Observer: “its the "prank" part that I'm concerned with.”

jayyyyyyyy: “posting lyrics to a parody song?”

Big G (they/them): “I can only see a small bit of that as being mocking, I'll be honest (:?”

Renboobigceenzatublraffectionate: “I’m sorry Duke but I genuinely don't understand you. I’m not trying to be rude but I’m more used to casual talk and grammar and not the more fncy speech you're using.”

Dollar General Tubbo: “I can help you if need be, Ren, just let me know.”

Duke: “Apologies Ren. I can attempt to... Speak more plainly if that is what you desire?”

Renboobigceenzatublraffectionate: “I’m fine just not used to the fancy words. I'l get it eventually”

jayyyyyyyy: “actually, Duke, your vocab really interests me. where did you pick it up from? most of the other court has a decent vocabulary, but nothing as formal as yours and your siblings”

Big G (they/them): “If you're more comfortable with speaking formally, I dont think it's necessary for you to speak differently :]”

Duke: “The pattern in which I speak has been with me since I was crowned. It is only most understandable, seeing how my sister and Iare nobility and thus must act as such.”

Jack the Observer: “If Ren can't understand proper speech, that is their own failing, not your own. feel no need to change your nature :)”

Duchess: “Indeed, this manner of speech is only natural for my brother and I. We can, however, attempt to use more simple words if that would be easier for you all.”

jayyyyyyyy: “I sorta guessed that you two mustve come from high class, though to actually hear it upfront is, uh.. interesting, to say the least. most of the other court is definitely not as open and honest of their pasts as you”

[Jack the Observer: “If Ren can't understand proper speech, that is their own failing, not your own. feel no need to change your nature :)”]

Renboobigceenzatublraffectionate: “I would yell at you but I'd rather not get shrunk so just- ok”

Jack the Observer: “I’m not. lying.”

[Duchess: “Indeed, this manner of speech is only natural for my brother and I. We can, however, attempt to use more simple words if that would be easier for you all.”]

Jack the Observer: "I, personally, have no preference. whichever is more comfortable with you, I am happy to respond in like.”

Duke: “Our pasts are one of shame. You have no asked anything about the horrid life we have left behind and thus have received no answers in turn. Do not say that we are as open as the others for that is a falsity.”

Dollar General Tubbo: “Quite understandable.”

Duchess: “That is enough, Duke. We are new to this circle. We should remain civil.”

jayyyyyyyy: “my bad, you just seemed more open because you at least said you were originally of nobility. none of the other court members exactly give many clues of their pasts, yknow?”

[Jack the Observer: “I’m not. lying.”]

Renboobigceenzatublraffectionate: “well I’m sorry my vocabulary isn't as great as yours jack, but I never had a need to speak like Duke and Duchess do so I never learned to speak like them I do perfectly fine with the way I speak now and see no problem with it”

Jack the Observer: “you don't see me telling you to change your nature either.”

jayyyyyyyy: “hey, if yall are gonna argue, head to a different channel”

Duke: “You are correct of course sister but it does well to remember a web of lies uncared for will choke the one for who it weaves. I simply do not wish for our name to fall to ruin because of a misunderstanding.”

Dollar General Tubbo: “Jack, if I read correctly Ren didn't demand for a change in nature. No need for being rude.”

Renboobigceenzatublraffectionate: “ANYWAYS! do either of you (Duke and Duchess) have a favorite number?”

Duke: “However, civility is the noblest pillar of which humanity stands on. Please cease your fighting you two, it can be easily discussed later.”

jayyyyyyyy: “I agree with Duke here. no point in arguing over something so small, specially during a regular conversation”

Duchess: “Hm, if we had to pick, I'd say our favorite number is two! good things come in pairs, do they not? :)”

#on:discord #by:duke #by:duchess #by:duchy #if the crown fits

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everythingxoblog · 4 years

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everything.

I was working one day, and a boy came in for an interview, already wearing his white polo which i thought was silly. He didn't have the job yet but he came in wearing his uniform. He was so handsome. His hair cut perfectly, his beard groomed so well, he smelled incredible, all the time. (Blue Nautica, i still wear it to this day.), His smile was everything. His eyes were the type you could just stare into and get lost. And the little wrinkles underneath his eyes would pop out when he smiled real big.The moment i saw him, i hoped he would be hired for our store. He was. I was excited. Although i was married, he was nice to look at, he was funny, and he seemed so perfect with his flirtacious ways. I looked forward to my shifts with him. We all got to know him and bits and pieces of his story. He was living at pathway, the sober home for boys. He told us about his drinking problem, and how proud of himself he was for being sober now. That is admirable in my eyes. The efforts to better your life and overcome an addiction is a great thing. Even more of a turn on, for some reason. There came a point where the flirting got more serious. We made a group chat called "squad" with me, him, and another employee/my best friend. It was an innocent thing at first, just pick up lines, flirting, sending pictures in our underwear, never too revealing. He would compliment me and her, and it made us feel good. I wasn't complimented by my husband, i wasnt given attention anymore. I craved it, and this boy gave me exactly what i was looking for. Eventually we started seeing him out of work. He came to a birthday party for my best friends child. He was so good with all of the kids. Mine as well. He was so good with her. I took videos of him playing with her, teaching her how to blow a flute and bubbles. The joy i captured in these videos was amazing, and i still have those videos to this day. That is one thing i can't bring myself to ever get rid of. I remember standing with him outside my car after the party, and our innocent flirting made me so happy and feel so good. This man was perfect. Over the summer we did so much together. From going to Litz almost daily, to hanging out in my friend's apartment, we would stay out all night sometimes. The flirting got really overwhelming between us three at one point. I didn't want to cheat on my husband, even though i knew i wasn't happy in my marriage and didn't want to be with him. I told this boy flat out he would be better off getting with my friend. So he did, that same night. I remember knowing that he was going over there, and i was a mixture of jealous and upset for sure. But what right did i have? I was married..and i told him to go for it with her. They did. The next day i picked her up to go to the mall, and at first she told me nothing happened. It wasn't until we got to the mall that she spilled all the details to me. She and him did hook up. But, he made her promise not to tell me, because he didn't want me to know. She was a good friend to be truthful with me. As for him, i was salty towards him. "Friends dont lie" was our saying for a while. We went to Litz that day and i couldn't help but be rude as hell to him until he admitted it to me. He did, and i let it go because again, i told him to do it. We went for ice cream together that night, and he bought my daughter her first ice cream cone and boy, was it messy. They shared a shake, i took pictures of that too. I loved watching him with my Daughter. It gave me hope that maybe i could still be happy, without her father. He and I hungout alone next. We brought my daughter to gilman. We had so much fun, and trust me, i took pictures then too. So did he. See, thats one thing i really loved about him. He would always capture beautiful moments between me and my daughter. Something nobody else has ever done, and still doesn't to be honest. When i dropped him off to his sober house, he kissed me. It was amazing. It felt RIGHT. and when we finished kissing, the guy that runs the house was right at my passenger window, watching and waiting for us to be done. How embarassing, right? Yet i drove away with such a big smile. Since then, our relationship kept growing. I loved it. He would always send me cute songs, and i would send him songs back. That was an all the time thing for us. Anytime we thought of eachother, wed make sure the other knew. Out of all the songs, we really stuck to "The way" by Mac Miller and Ariana grande. I loved it, especially because those are my two favorite artists. He had a ton of love for Mac Miller and Ariana Grande. Did i mention he bought me a ticket to see Ariana Grande for my birthday? It was an incredible experience. We started spending every day and night together. I would hangout hangout with him, then id drop my daughter off to her father and go back out for the night. We would always have a good time. I remember we were in my friends parking lot for HOURS, listening to music, playing Uno, shooting these cool things in the sky that would glow. I wanted to show off and do some gymnastics..so i stupidly, took off my shoes for some reason, and did a round off barefoot in the parking lot. I broke my foot that night, but that didn't stop us from going to price chopper while im hopping sround on one leg because it was probably midnight when i broke my foot and didn't want to go to the hospital. Price chopper was our spot. We even had our own spot we would park. It was 24 hrs, so we would just go play hide and seek in there. We would sit in the parking lot for hours, and just talk and kiss. It felt so right. He was perfect. He was everything i ever wanted. Eventually, he moved onto a new apartment for sober boys. He had his own room and more freedom then. So, i helped him move in. I organized all his things, all his clothes, i got him comfortable there. It was now our spot. We would go there, lay in bed and tell each other stories about ourselves. He told me about his alcoholism, and how he was arrested once because he gave his mother a ride and she had heroin in the vehicle. He told me how she was an addict, and how much he hated heroin and thought it was disgusting. I agreed. Heroin is a drug i can never understand. Why would anyone ever want to shove a needle in themselves and risk dying every single time? It makes no sense. And he agreed with me. He told me that his sister basically took care of him. He loved her. He would always tell me about her. To this day, i would have loved to meet her. We tried once, but i will get to that part. I left my husband september 2nd. I knew what i had with this boy was real, and i was so happy. Happiest ive been in so long. It was a hard, and lifechanging decision i made. I now had to move out of the house we bought, i had to leave all my stuff behind, including my dogs. That killed me. But i knew it was the right decision. I was unhappy for so long, and this boy showed me that there is more to life, and that i didn't have to settle. It was hard for a while, i was scared for a long time. I'll admit, i did go back and forth between my husband and him for a little while. But i knew what i WANTED, and it was him. It was always him, from the second he came into my life. There was so much about this boy that i loved. He was the best, and i truly mean that. He was always there for me. He worked three jobs, and still made time for me. He seemed to have his life together, and i could see myself building a future with him. Things started to change, but they weren't even really big changes. So i thought nothing of it. He stopped working his third job first. But who cared? He still had two jobs. He was still great. He used to spend a lot of money on scratch tickets, that was a big addiction of his. But he would ALWAYS WIN! I swear he had the best luck, he would win $500 so often it was crazy! Another addction he had, was shoes. Ive never seen a man have so many fricken shoes. He was a pretty boy, and ALWAYS looked and smelled so good. I loved that. Sometimes i feel like we were together forever, but looking back, it was such a short time before things started going wrong. He had these pains in his stomach, so i sat with him at the hospital while he was monitored. They gave him morphine to ease his pain. And he ended up getting a few prescriptions. Nothing crazy, they didn't give him any opiods or anything. But the night after, he called me. He sounded fucked up. He wouldn't like, speak to me. The things he was saying made no sense at all, and he sounded very out of it. I asked if he smoked weed, he said no. I asked if he drank, he said no. He said "the lady on the bike gave him some pills" and i was crying, begging him to tell me what he took. Eventually after screaming and crying his name, he snapped back into reality. He swears he never did any drugs that night, but i know how he was acting. I didn't think much into it, probably because i didn't want to believe he would do something like that. I held a grudge for a couple days, and id always randomly ask about that night, hoping one day he would tell me the truth. He never did admit anything about that night. But i know. He didn't really have any more of those episodes. But he started telling little lies. To me, i feel that everyone lies about something at some point. There are so many things i should have noticed, but i didn't. I'm always going to be mad at myself over it. There were signs. So many signs. And i didn't notice them, until it was too late. He started letting his hair grow out more than normal. He stopped shaving as much. He stopped buying scratch tickets. He lost his second job, and was down to one. It started at the end of september. September 28th, 2019. I went to hyper glow with my friends, and he hungout with a mutual friend, who was a heroin addict. At this point, i still was under the impression this boy was just an alcoholic, so i didn't think much into him hanging out with a junkie. I was wrong. I shouldn't have encouraged him to hangout with the guy. I did. I did that. And i'll HATE myself forever for that. I didn't know yet, but what i'm about to explain next, is the beginning of the truth being exposed. I was at work. So was he. And another coworker on shift with us pulled me aside and asked me what was on his neck, and mentioned that lately he has been acting as if he's on drugs. I didn't even notice his neck. I grabbed him and looked, and i asked what it was. He went from "Its an ingrown hair" to "It must be a zit"..He was very defensive about it. Now, i was worried. How was everyone else noticing these things, but i wasn't? I finally made the decision to reach out to his sister. What she had to say, was something i never expected, and i can still feel the pain, shock, and heartbreak i felt that afternoon. She explained he has been a heroin/crack addict since he was a teenager. He has struggled with addiction his whole life. He was never an alcoholic. How did i not know? How could he lie to me SO much, so in depth? I was shocked. I don't think ive ever cried so hard. My perfect boy was not perfect at all. It was all a lie. EVERYTHING. I confronted him. He tried denying, but he knew i knew the truth now. To be honest, i dont think he's ever told me the truth first time around. I have to keep asking the same question over and over again until he finally tells the truth. Some things even now i don't know if it was true or not. I made the decision to help him. I tried to keep him sober. I did everything. I was with him all the time, really. I kept a close eye on him. So i thought. I seemed to not realize the weight he lost. He had nice love handles when we first started hanging out, he had meat on his bones. He stopped eating actual food. He was only snacking. I didn't notice. I didn't notice he lost weight, because i was with him 24/7. Thinking back, boy was he so skinny. There were times that he wouldn't answer his phone, and i would panic. Was he okay? Did he relapse? Is he dead in his room right now? I have no way to get up there to save him. I was always terrified. I went to the heroin addicts house and got him to come check on my boy with me. He brought narcan. So, he KNEW that he was using. He knew what we might be walking into. He ended up being "Fine"..He just "knodded off"..which also happens when you do drugs. I was in denial. I wouldn't let mysel believe what was right in front of my eyes. Not yet, anyways. We continued our relationship. We would stay out all night, in the price chopper parking lot. Hell, we made it to planet fitness one night. That was the first night we had sex. We would go swimming at queen lake late at night, we would just drive while he sang to me. Boy i loved the way hed look at me and sing certain verses to me. He made me feel special. I think that overpowered all the bad, and that's why i chose to not believe what was happening. I understood why he didn't tell anyone he was a recovering heroin addict. None of us would have given him a chance. We wouldn't have looked at him the same. I don't blame him for lying about that. But, i blame him from keeping it from me once we became as close as we did. We had a different bond, a different relationship, and i thought we would be 100% honest with each other. October 25th, 2019. I got a message from his roommate. He told me he found him in his room, overdosed, and luckily his roommate found him in time to narcan him. He then stole this mans property and took off and sold it. Thats when i knew exactly what i was dealing with. He relapsed. He overdosed. He stole to get money, to do it again. How does one literally DIE from this drug, and still want to do it again and again? That part i'm never going to understand. Why was ruining his life with these drugs a better option than me? We could have had a life together. We could have had everything. But heroin was more important. I kept trying. I tried for so long. There are so many things that he did to me that i can't even name them all. Like the iphone i gave him? He "lost" it. No. He sold it. I bought him another iphone for his birthday. Guess what he did with that one? Sold it. He got fuvked up and left his car in leominster at a gas station for days, that it got towed. $600 to get it back. Who paid for that? Me. I put it on my credit card. He said he would pay me back. Why was i stupid enough to believe that? I did everything i could for him. I really did. It was never enough. I sent him to detox 4 times..before he actually stayed in the program. I never knew what addiction was like. I never dealt with it. Ive never seen it as up close and personal as i did with him. It changed me. That's the whole reason im writing this. I am not the person i used to be. I am damaged. heartbroken. devastated. hurt. hopeless. mad. sad. frusterated. The list goes on. I feel like a failure. I wanted to save this boy. It was my goal. I tried so hard, i did so much, and he is still sick. It kills me. It haunts me every day. Should i have tried harder? Should i have stayed by his side? It's my fault he relapsed. I know it. He wouldn't let me think that way, but we both knew. If i never went back and forth between him and my husband, things might be different. I know that i'm not at fault for his relapse, but i know i had something to do with it. I will never shake that feeling. There are so many memories i have with him that are now triggers for me. It's like, everywhere i go, i think of last summer when it was us. Going to Litz is hard, because we would always have so much fun playing in the water or relaxing on the beach. We would go to the 140 car wash eally late at night, just to clean my car, to go get his car directly after and clean that one. My favorite video i ever took of him was there. It was such a simple video that wouldn't mean anything to anyone else. But the way he looked at me, and shut the car door, was just a feeling i'll never be able to shake off. He always looked at me like i was special. Like i was the most beautiful and important person, ever. That boy had me wrapped around his finger. He knew it. But to be fair, i think he was wrapped around mine too. He would do anything for me. I trusted him. I trusted him more than anything. That is where i fucked up. Times started to get tough, but i stuck by his side. I wanted to be the one to save him i guess. I needed to. It became my biggest priority. I knew where he was 24/7, because he was always with me. I knew what i was dealing with, to a point. He started needing to borrow money, and of course, i let him. Anything he needed, i made sure he got it, and he took advantage of that. He ended up jobless. I remember the last day we worked at Dunkins, i was MAD. Mad that i knew what he was doing behind my back. I remember calling him a liar and fighting with him in the parking lot, we made a scene and people were watching. We were screaming at each other, and i punched him right in the face. He then went inside, and i drove off. You'd think that would have been the end of us, but it wasn't even close. We ended up talking again and things got "fine" again, i guess. I started to distance myself a little, but not much. Sometimes i think something was wired wrong in my brain. All these red flags, and i ignored them all. I continued to fall deeper and deeper in love, while being taken advantage of. But i felt NEEDED. I felt as if i was his ONLY chance at redeeming himself and getting sober again. I sent him to his first detox in the end of October, 2019. Detox is a 7 day program. I was at work on the 5th day, and i got a call from him. He needed me to come get him, he got "kicked out for fighting with someone"..i believed that. I picked him up. After that i realized he wasn't kicked out, he WANTED out. And he did exactly that. You can only assume he went right back to using, right? Exactly. Behind my back once again. But i knew. I ALWAYS knew after a while. I noticed the patterns. Yet i still stayed and did everything i could. We found him a place in Leominster to move into. It was a beautiful home. He had his own room, and bathroom, he was the only one living on the first floor. It was great, and it was a place i could bring my daughter as well because there was room to play. Stupid me, i know i shouldn't have brought my daughter around him. But he was NEVER fucked up around us. Yet, anyways. I would sleepover his new place every time i didn't have my baby. I would have to leave at 4am, so i could get to work on time because i opened, but i never minded waking up that early, because sleeping with him all night was worth it. Laying on his chest was my favorite. I couldn't tell you why, but i felt so safe. So loved. So cherished. I felt special, always. I can't leave out the part where i have to admit, our sex was incredible. It really was. There was one time, we had the most intense sex ever. Like five stars, INSANE, sweaty, every position you could think of. He was CRAZY that one night. Come to find out, he died and was narcaned that same morning. So i'm assuming it was mostly the adrenaline from cheating death, again. In me & his entire relationship, i know for sure of him being narcaned 5 times total. There could have been more times, definitely, and probably. But i only know of 5, and they were all fairly close together. Why? Why can someone die from this drug, AND DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN? Why was i never enough for him? Why couldn't be stay sober? He could have REALLY died, and what about me? He never thought of how it would effect me. Heroin is probably the most SELFISH addiction. It makes me sick. After everything i've done for him, he still chose that over me. I started working at a bar. He would always come and sit there with me. I loved his company, truly. He would sit there and drink soda like a good boy, and i knew he was safe because he was with me. It was when i wasn't with him, that i worried all the time. There was one night at the bar, i made really good money. I made over $100, so i cashed in my small bills for a $100 bill, then the rest $20s. I remember putting my money in my wallet. I had $40 in my car door to give to him for gas, cigarettes, etc. Money his uncle gave me for him, but i was in charge of his money, because his uncle knew what he would do if he had it in his possession. I gave himm the $40 from my car door, i am positive. We were sitting in my car and i let my guard down. What's crazy is he reached into my backseat, and sneakily took money from my wallet. He didn't know i had the $100 bill. He only meant to take small bills so i wouldn't notice as easily. I dropped him off, and he called me telling me i accidently gave him $100 and he was "doing the right thing" by calling me to return it. Then he claimed i never gave him the $40 from my car door, and it mustve fallen out of my car. He went with me all the way back to the bar to look for it in the parking lot. I knew i didn't lose or drop it. I knew he took it and he was trying to cover it up. I hoped when we got there that he would take the money from his pocket, drop it in he parking lot and "find it" and give it back. It was never found though. But, it was never REALLY lost. I let him play innocent and i just played along. I wasn't going to argue and keep calling him out when he refused to tell the truth. There were plenty of times he took money from me. You know, i had $200 worth of change in my car at work. Unlocked. Stupid, i know. I've worked there 5 years though, i knew my car wouldn't get broken into..until it did. He denies it to this day, but i truly believe he stole that money as well. When he needed his fix, he did anything to get it. I guess it's time to bring up the big one now. When he stole my card out of my wallet. I left my purse in my bathroom. I had him over, we were hanging out, trying to find a new program to go to since the one he was at didn't work out. This boy went to detox 4 times before he actually stuck it out, and completed what he needed to do. As i'm trying to help him get better, he's going behind my back, still. Screwing me over. It's November now when this happened. He took my debit card right from my own wallet. I never used that card. It was linked to my husbands account. He knew that, and that's why he took it. He didn't think i would notice. Until my ex went to go take money out to realize his account had been drained. I looked into it, and it was MY card that was being used in the ATMs withdrawing money. I knew it was him. I couldn't believe it. With christmas and my daughters birthday just around the corner, how could he take so much from me? From him? From HER? An innocent child who he claimed he loved so much. I do believe he loved her. And me. I just think that he had to do whatever he had to do to get his drugs, and didn't care who it hurt or effected. I tried calling him and finding him, but i couldn't. He knew he was caught. I had no choice but to call the bank and shut the card down, and go to the police to file a report against him. End game for us you think? No. Our story didn't end there, I had him for multiple charges, and it i actually did a proper follow up, i could have had him locked up, and i could have gotten all my money back. Which in total, he took about $2000 from me. A smart person would have done that, right? Not me. I decided to give him ANOTHER chance to redeem himself. Go get help. Go into a program and STAY in the program. That's when he went to Washburn house. He did good for a while. I didn't get to talk to him much, he could only call at night, but i would always wait for his call. He finished his detox there and was in the second step of the program. I was proud of him. I was happy that he was finally doing the right thing. After a while, he decided that he didn't need the program anymore, wanted to leave and start his life over, again. He swore he would stay sober, because he wanted to be in our lives so badly. I trusted him. It was a day or two before my birthday that he got released. Yay! I finally got to see him again. I was so happy and so hopeful this time would be different. I have to admit, i have a big mouth. And everyone knew what he had done to me, along with everything he's been doing. The lying, the using, the stealing, everything. So at this point, none of my friends supported my relationship with him. He was bad. I knew that. He did bad things, yes. But, i knew him differenty than everybody else. So to me, their opinions didn't matter. He was everything to me. He still made me feel loved, needed, and happy. I hid my relationship with him. Only a couple friends knew what i was up to. For them, i am forever grateful. The support, the shoulder to cry on when things got bad, the advice yet no judgement. I needed it. To this day, i have a couple friends that still understand me and how hard this last year has been for me. There was a point i didn't think i would recover from this. I couldn't even hold myself together at work, because while i was there, especially saturdays, i would be miserable and cry. Why? Because saturdays used to be my favorte day to work. Because of him. The flirting, the sneaking in the walk in/freezer/back door to kiss. It was sweet, and sneaky, and i LOVED it. Without him there, it was all i could think about. Why couldn't things have stayed that way? Why did it all have to change and get SO complicated? Why did i have to end up so HURT and LOST in the end? Back to my birthday, anyways. He spent the day with me. It was good. I was happy. I had plans with my friends that night. We were partying, i had a whole party at the bar. He couldn't come because again, we were a secret at this point. Everyone hated him and he understood. At this point in my life, i will admit i may have had a drinking problem. Through everything he did to me and put me through, i needed to numb the pain. I spent a lot of time at the bars. I was getting drunk almost every night. It was a routine. He saw what he did to me. He realized that the girl who never drank, seemed to always need a drink now. I got trashed on my birthday of course. It was a great night and i loved every second of it. I kept texting him through the night, and i called him drunk when i got home. Not the first, nor the last drunk call i've made to him. I would always drunk call him a billion times until he would wake up and talk to me because at the end of the night, i only wanted to hear his voice. He would always talk to me about eerything and kept talking to me until i was ready to go to sleep. The day after my birthday was the day shit really hit the fan. I was hungover, obviously. I didn't feel good at all, and i was supposed to hangout with him. I bailed, and he was so mad at me. He was staying at a homeless shelter in fitchburg at that point and found a way to gardner so i didn't have to drive all the way out there. He sat at mcdonalds all day waiting for me, but i was not only hungover. I was coming to realize that i didn't want to be in a relationship i had to hide from everybody else i loved. If i was to be in a relationship, i wanted it to be with someone who could come around my friends and family. That was the day i decided to become distant. He freaked out, like really freaked out. I wish i still had the messages and voicemails. I felt bad, but i knew it was time to do the right thing for myself. That night, he checked back into washburn. He said he drank two nips to get them to let him back in, but i know he had money and could have gotten his heroin. I believe he did, even though he never admitted it. He's back at washburn now, getting help again. This time, he really stuck it out. He completed his programs. I Stayed in contact with him, because i wanted to know how he was doing and how his recovery was going. I would message him almost every day, some nights i would get phone calls. He was always there for me. Through all the bullshit my exhusband would put me through, he was always the one i would call and vent to. He always had the best advice and always made me feel better about whatever situation i was in. Now that we weren't together, i did meet someone else. At the bar, actually. He came in, and i was desperate to get over this boy. He was my rebound. But it didn't go as well as id hoped. He was a coke head/alcoholic. Why did i attract these men that need help? But don't want the help. I ended it with him, because if i was going to fix anyone, it would and will always be the boy that meant everything to me from the day he walked into my life. I never really stopped talking to him. He would sometimes try to ghost me because i would be "better off" which is not a lie. I would be. But i had an attachment to him that nobody could ever break. We stayed in contact. Always checking in on each other. Sometimes we would speak about being together again, though we both knew it would never be possible after all the things he's done. He got a job through washburn. He was doing GREAT. He was starting to look at cars and apartments back in Gardner. He wanted to come back. I wanted him to come back, i won't deny that. I knew it would be hard for both of us, but i forever want to know what he's doing and i want to watch him become everything he has ever dreamt of. He had real goals this time. And he had every opportunity to get it all done. It kind of made me angry that he was finally going to get an apartment and do better in life, because i needed him to do that for me months ago. We could have been together, we could have had a good life. But at least he's doing the right thing now, right? So i thought. He was sending me all the apartments he was going to look at, and they were all really nice, and in Gardner. Which is what i wanted. I wanted him close. I wanted to know what he was up to and how good he was doing. I was excited for him. He got a car! I'm not sure how, because his red VW was repoed only like, 6 months ago? I know that because i remember the night it happened. We were at the Turtle, and driving home, he got pulled over and didn't have insurance. They towed the car, and i snuck him into my bedroom and he spent the night with me. I think that may have been the last night we spent together. He ended up giving up on the car because he had no money to get it out of the towing garage, no money to insure it, or pay for it. At that point, he hadn't paid on it in a long time. When he went into Washburn, i cleaned out his car. I took what i wanted and what i thought would be important to him. I saw all the narcan in his glove box. Along with SO MUCH CHOCOLATE. He told me once that heroin addicts live off sweets. Boy, they sure did. When i cleaned out his car, i kept his cologne. It was the scent that he always wore. I loved it. I still wear it now. And i always think of him. The clean, well taken care of, good smelling, perfect boy i loved with my whole heart. At this point, i didn't know where that boy went. Now, i was just frusterated. Frusterated that i fell so har for him, changed my entire life for him, and this is how it ended up. Though, i will admit i am and will forever be grateful. This year, i have learned so many things. I have seen and gone through things that i never thought i would. I overcame things that i thought would tear me down and i would never be the same. Although it's true, i will NEVER be the same, i will always have a spot in my heart for him, but he's made it clear what's more important to him. I met up with him when he first got his new car. He was in the area, and asked me to show him where the waterfall was, where we used to go last summer. I met him, and had him follow me there. He and I talked for like 20 minutes, but it felt..different. But at the same time, i felt comfortable. Like nothing ever happened. He was clean now. At this time, 5 months sober. With a new car. A new job. Apartment searching. He was FINALLY doing it. I couldn't have been happier. But, he never got out of his car. I never got to even hug him, and to be honest, i don't remember the last time i was in his arms. I've tried to kind of blur out everything so i could try and forget. To heal. But realistically, there is no true healing from this. I'll never recover from any of this. But, i am smarter. I have learned. I have grown. And i wouldn't be where i am or who i am today if it wasn't for him. A week or two after i met up with him, i saw his car again. Where i saw it though, i PRAYED it wasn't him. I called him. No answer. I'm crying and panicking now. It was at the crack house that he used to spend all his time at when he was using. He called back, after i drove by the car a few times. I knew it was his car. It had to be. When he called back, he claimed it was not him and he was on his way home from his sisters. I thought that was strange, considering it was a week day and his sister works a lot. When i drove by again, the car was gone. I reached out to his sister to confirm his story..He lied. No surprise. He's always lied. He was ALMOST 6 months sober. And there he was, back to his shit. Why would he put in all that effort and be SO CLOSE to having everything he's wanted? He threw it all away. I will never understand. He knew i was onto him, he knew his family was onto him, because i always reach out and tell his sister if i suspect anything or see anything. He ended up selling his cellphone, and going "missing"..I was a mess. Really. Knowing he is missing, and using again, he could be dead anywhere and nobody would know. The entire week he was missing, i looked for him for hours every day. I drove around Gardner so much, just hoping i'd find him or at least find someone who has seen him and knew he was okay. He finally posted on facebook that he was fine and checking himself in somewhere to get help again. I had a feeling that wasn't true. I hoped it was, but i think after everything, i know better. That is when i got emails saying someone was hacking into my accounts. Paypal, Venmo, my actual Email, etc. He started stealing money from me again. I tracked it back to him, because he was using his friends phone number, who is a known addict because i caught him lying to me saying he was with him a couple times, saying he was safe, when really he was just getting high with this guy right before i brought him to detox. I tracked the number to his friend, then tracked the number to the address. You'll never guess what the address was? The crack house he loved being at so much. Then i started noticing his car. He would park in different places, but close enough to walk back and forth to the crack house. He knew what he was doing to me again. I'll never understand why he would take from me..when all i've ever done is try to help him. Check up on him. I really thought we had a special relationship, a bond, i thought that him and i would always look out for eachother. But he was still out to fuck me over. I drive by his car every single day now. It's on the main road i take to go everywhere. It's literally 5 minutes from my house, if that. And what KILLS me every day, is that i know he's in there. I know what he's doing. I can't do anything to stop him. At this point, it's a waiting game. I believe you can only cheat death so many times. He has done it a lot, and i worry every day that i'm going to get that call or message that he's gone. I don't think he's coming back this time. I think this is it. I believe that when i get the honor to meet his wonderful sister who has been there for me through all of this, it will be at his funeral. I know i can't save him. I know he has ghosted his family, because he is ashamed of himself and doesn't want them up his ass. This is the life he has chosen. And it is such a shame, because he really has the most beautiful soul, he's a wonderful person, when he is sober. I will never be okay with any of this. I am not coming to terms with anything. I hurt, every single day. The whole point of writing this was to get it all out of my head, so try and heal a little bit. As this comes to an end, i have to admit that i don't feel any less heartbroken. I'll forever think of him every time i drive by that building. Everytime i hear certain songs (there are a LOT of songs that remind me of him, some seem as if i wrote them myself.) Everytime i go anywhere we made a memory, he will forever be in the back of my mind. This will stick with me for my whole life. I know that. So, to the boy that stole my heart the second he walked into dunkins... I hope you always know how much i have cared and loved you from day one. I hope all my efforts to help you, fix you, support you, meant something. I hope my drunk phone calls made you giggle and feel special because it was you i wanted to talk to all the time. I hope you meant everything you said on your list of things you loved about me, because i meant EVERYTHING on mine. I hope you regret chosing heroin over me. I hope you regret stealing from me time and time again. I hope you are ashamed of yourself and how you let the demons take over you. I hope you turn your life back around again, but i won't hold my breath this time. I am preparing for your death, but when it comes, please know i will not be okay. At all. But, you chose this. Nobody wanted to see you end up this way. Your family, your friends, me, we all were routing for you and so proud of you. I wish you were stronger. I wish you fought harder. I wish you didn't give in to the temptations. You could have had a beautiful, happy life. You would have made an amazing husband/father one day. I will never understand you or your choices. I will never regret you. I may never forgive you, but i pray for you. I pray you read this one day, and feel what i feel. And i hope that maybe it's enough to save yourself before it's too late. Nobody can save you but yourself. xo * (so cool) *

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yourfriendslimey · 4 years

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I love blackpink! And I think it’s super cool you’re confident enough to share your opinions on them omg i’d be so scared of getting attacked. The one thing that bothers me tho is when blinks say “oh YG won’t let blackpink write music omg their songs would be so good” and ive seen posts where people say jennie is a “writers and producer”. Like the only confirmed thing is that Jennie is good at writing lyrics and they’ve all dabbled in that. That’s only one part of a song, you can have bad lyrics and have succesful music like they do their lyrics are bad but the songs are good. It’s just insulting bc writing songs fully and producing are very hard. It’s rude to people who actually work hard and do that stuff, you don’t even know if her lyrics are good, it’s not like she’s written lyrics fully on her own that we’ve heard too they’ve all been co-written. Idk i feel like it’s insulting to idols who actually write and produce and to put them on the same level in that aspect is annoying to me

i hear you bb! i'm majoring in commercial music and taking a songwriting course because i don't think anyone understands that creating music from start to finish is so fricken hard. i believe if the girls had some input (and a new producer) then their music would turn out so much better.

and yes it's SUPER frustrating to put them on the same level as groups who write and produce their own songs which turn out fricken AMAZING. i know several of got7's songs were written by members such as Aura which is dare i say gorgeous! i can't remember which other groups do but i knows there's quite a few.

blackpink's lyrics are very weak and basic to me. and lately the music has just been straight remixes because the guy who produced their stuff refuses to do ANYTHING new. it's insane. and obviously everyone who loves BP is super free to do so because if they're your jan, they're your jam. however, they're definitely going to become fairly irrelevant soon because they "one trick ponies". i think maybe that's why they've been doing collars with western artists. i know they're not as mega popular in south korea as they are in the west but i also know the west has a bad habit of obsessing over musicians for a short burst of time then the light dies out. like they're still famous but they're name won't be everywhere anymore.

for example when Billie Eillish was about to really BLOW UP, her music was recommended to me everywhere. i couldn't click on a video without one of hers popping up no matter how irrelevant it was to me. then everyone was talking about her all the time. and a few months later i barely got recommended any of her music. and it's not like my watch patterns changed that much. news on her was so dead i honestly thought she'd stopped making music. it's like that with a lot of artists.

alright i gotta end this before i go into a bunch of other stuff that i'll save for...idk maybe i'll make a video talking about it. all my issues straight up that aren't "JEnNie'S pRiVilagEd and a BiTCh!" or "ugh the lazy dancing and not mention all their dances are the same". those points have been made probably thousands of times. anyway thanks for you ask baby boo!

#kpop #blackpink jisoo #blackpink lisa #blackpink rose #blackpink jennie #ask #anon #blackpink how you like that

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lazingonsunday · 5 years

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Tag Game!!

I was tagged by @gretavanfic and @bigthighsandstupidguys , thank you, lovelies!! 💛

1. What is your middle name?

Starts with G lol

2. How old are you?

3. When is your birthday?

Dec 2

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Everyone is putting like moon and sun and rising and I have no idea what that mean lmao, sorry! I think I’m a Sagittarius though

5. What is your favourite colour?

Orange or Yellow 🧡💛

6. What’s your lucky number?

Don’t really have one, but I always tried to be #10 on my volleyball jersey

7. Do you have any pets?

An old border collie named Riley

8. Where are you from?

Canada! 🇨🇦

9. How tall are you?

Like 5’7 ish

10. What shoe size are you?

Usually 9.5 or 10. I got big ass feet :(

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Way more than one human being needs

12. What was your last dream about?

I went to IT chapter 2 last night so safe to say I was having some freaky clown dreams all night lol

13. What talents do you have?

Um, I can say the alphabet backwards, which is super random lol. I can also kinda play guitar, bass, ukulele, and harmonica, but I’m not very good at any of them yet lol

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I used to think so when I was little, but not so much anymore

15. Favourite song?

Ooh, this is hard. Right now I really love When The Curtain Falls by GVF, but I would say an all time fave might be Forever in Blue Jeans by Neil Diamond because it reminds me of my mom

16. Favourite movie?

Oh, also a tough one! I think either Rocky IV or The Sandlot

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Jake Kiszka, obviously. But in all seriousness, anyone who is genuinely kind that I feel comfortable and happy around.

18. Do you want children?

I never thought so, but now a bunch of my older cousins are having kids and they’re pretty cool, so maybe one day if I found the right person to raise them with

19. Do you want a church wedding?

No, even though my mom will kill me if I don’t lol

20. Are you religious?

I was raised Catholic, but I don’t consider myself religious anymore.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yes, I’m asthmatic af lol, and prone to breaking my fingers playing rugby

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

No, I am a well-behaved child

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I met the magicians Penn & Teller if that counts haha

24. Baths or showers?

For practical purposes of actually getting clean, showers, but I l o v e baths

25. What colour socks are you wearing?

Black

26. Have you ever been famous?

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

While I daydream about it frequently, realistically I know I would hate it

28. What type of music do you like?

Literally the most random taste in music, it changes all the time. I don’t even have certain genres that I like, just certain artists or albums from a variety of genres

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Yes. I was very drunk lmao

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Three normal ones and a body pillow

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

On my side cuddled up with the pillows

32. How big is your house?

Typical white suburban neighbourhood house

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

I typically pout in the kitchen for 10 minutes before I give up and make something completely inappropriate for breakfast lmao. Usually grilled cheese. This morning alphagetti. I hate breakfast so much lol

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Nope. No desire to.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Yes, we did it in school a few times

36. Favourite clean word?

Love

37. Favourite swear word?

Idk if it’s a swear word, but I say ‘goddammit’ a lot

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Not long, I’m a sleepy bitch. Probably 24 hours

39. Do you have any scars?

Yes

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

In 9th grade I found out this guy had a crush on my and told literally everyone but me lol

41. Are you a good liar?

I don’t lie very often, but mostly because I am a terrible liar

42. Are you a good judge of character?

Yes. I frequently get such strong vibes off of people and I can tell right away if they’re the kind of person that’s gonna stress me out

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Not well

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I guess I probably have a Canadian accent, but not super strong. The region I’m from has a pretty neutral North American accent

45. What is your favourite accent?

Certain regions of Irish accent are so beautiful. Like Hozier’s accent

46. What is your personality type?

Quite shy, but generally very kind

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

I have a shirt that I got for work that was like a hundred bucks and I never wear it cause I sprayed foundation on it once and now I’m scared I’m gonna ruin it lol

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes

49. Are you an innie or outie?

Innie

50. Left or right handed?

Right

51. Are you scared or spiders?

Not really scared of them, but I don’t like them to be close to me if that makes sense

52. Favourite food?

Probably burritos

53. Favourite foreign food?

Mexican

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

Fairly clean

55. Most used phrase?

I really don’t think I have one?

56. Most used word?

Completely. I say it like to agree with someone or acknowledge what they’re saying

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Depends what I’m getting ready. For school or something I don’t really care about, maybe half an hour. For work or going out, probably over an hour.

58. Do you have much of an ego?

I don’t think so

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Suck until I get bored and crunch it lol

60. Do you talk to yourself?

Yes, a concerning amount. Like full conversations with myself at full volume, constantly when I’m alone.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Occasionally

62. Are you a good singer?

Not really

63. Biggest fear?

Never learning how to make meaningful connections , pushing all my friends away, and dying alone.

64. Are you a gossip?

No, I hate it! My friends try to tell me about people we went to high school with, and I just genuinely don’t care and don’t want to know lmao

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

Idk what classifies as a ‘dramatic’ movie, but I guess the Rocky movies again

66. Do you like long or short hair?

I love long hair, I’m so jealous of people with really long hair. Mine grows so slow :(

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Maybe, if I thought really hard about it? I can barely remember Canadian provinces lmao

68. Favourite school subject?

I always really loved some topics in science, but then hated others. I was probably best at English.

69. Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert af

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No, even snorkeling freaks me out. The ocean is some scary soup

71. What makes you nervous?

Pretty much everything lol. But mostly any social situation where there’s people I don’t know, or I don’t know exactly what to expect.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Really depends where I am. Usually no, but if I’m outside then usually yes, and after watching It last night, yes lol

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Depends who it is and what the mistake is

74. Are you ticklish?

Honestly, not really

75. Have you ever started a rumour?

Not intentionally

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Kind of? At work they have like hourly leaders who are in charge of the sales floor, and I did that a lot, but it’s not really a lot of power or responsibility. Also babysitting I guess

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Yes

78. Have you ever done drugs?

Honestly, this is gonna sound so stupid, but I’ve never done anything other than alcohol and cigarettes. I actually high key wanna try weed, but again the whole ‘not knowing what to expect makes me anxious thing.’ Not even so much that I’m nervous to try the drug but that I’m nervous to try to buy it or get it, even though it’s fully legal in Canada and there’s a dispensary on every corner lmao

79. Who was your first real crush?

The first one I remember was a boy named Evan in first grade

80. How many piercings do you have?

Just my ears, and I rarely wear earrings so I always have to stab through them again when I do

81. Can you roll your R’s?

No, and I can’t whistle either! Which is deeply infuriating!

82. How fast can you type?

Fast enough to not look foolish

83. How fast can you run?

Not fast at all. I’m asthmatic and out of shape lmao

84. What colour is your hair?

An ugly medium mousy brown. I always wanna dye it a little lighter, but I go to the hairdresser like once every two years so it would look stupid when it grew out lol

85. What colour are your eyes?

Hazel-y greenish

86. What are you allergic to?

All sorts of environmental allergies; dust, pollen, animal hair, etc. I’m always sneezing and watery eyes lol

87. Do you keep a journal?

I carry a notebook, but it’s more like an agenda than a diary

88. What do your parents do?

My dad owns a drywall company and my mom is a stay-at-home mom, but she volunteers a lot now that we’re older

89. Do you like your age?

No. I think that being in your late teens and twenties can be really stressful because you feel like there’s certain things that you should have accomplished or experienced and it can be very overwhelming, feeling like you’re competing with all your peers to get your life together

90. What makes you angry?

Rude and disrespectful people

91. Do you like your own name?

Not really

92. Have you thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

I’ve definitely thought about it but I don’t really have specific favourites

93. Do you want a boy or girl for a child?

I don’t have a preference. I’d probably like to have one of each

94. What are your strengths?

I think I’ve become a lot more kind and open-hearted in the last few years.

95. What are your weaknesses?

I feel like I have let fear dictate my entire life, and there’s so many things I haven’t done because I’ve been afraid. I need to step outside my comfort zone more often.

96. How did you get your name?

There was a character on a TV show called my name that my parents liked

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Not that I am aware of

98. Do you have any tattoos?

I changed the question because scars was an earlier one. I have two tattoos on my right arm

99. Colour of your bedspread?

Because it’s summer, I have a lighter blanket that’s light blue. My winter duvet is navy

100. Colour of your room?

Light blue

That was LONG lmao but really fun! I’m too lazy to bold the questions so sorry if it’s hard to read!

Tagging: @frcmthefires @sweetkiszkadreams @okietrish @sammyscherub @gretavanbobatea @jake-thomas-kiszka @mr-stank-i-dont-feel-so-dank and anyone else who wants to do it!!

#tagged #tag game

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