#but i genuinely feel like im shouting into a void most of the time

[rambunctioustoons]

gotta be the funniest thing having p.mdd as a trans person. I've got double dysphoria baybeee. Brain can't take being this gender and neither can my hormones!!

#vent #white knuckle gripping the sink like this is my blog don't gotta be funny and cool all the time!!! AH #im perfectly fine genuinely. its just literally the most invaliding experience alive feeling THIS dogshit. #because my hormones take a nosedive. #i feel a bit too weepy. and everything feels lonely oh god wait its not even me it's THIS GUY AGAIN- #literally just feels like you're going nuts and all you can do is stare ahead until its over. #and then it starts all over again #srryyy i guess just shouting into the void here #anywya the solar eclipse is happening now

[chocsra]

"Birds in the House of Flies."

15! Chuuya x gn! asa mitaka! reader

A/N: genuinely sorry but im gonna have trouble posting since tests are a BITCH DAMN, im sorry if u sent a request itll take some time thank you guys 😭 ALSO SORRY AB THE ONE BED TROPE THINGY IM STILL WORKING ON IT WILL BE POSTED TMRW . also asa mitaka is like the only character i kin besides shoko 😭 thank uuuu for the request 🙈

content: based off the building scene in csm, oneshot, slight angst?, pre-relationship, holding hands 🥺, ooc, mentions of suicide, mafia chuuya, civilian reader, slight crack, fluff mentions of girl once

"Fuckin' hang on!!"

Those three words echoed loud in the cold air admist the darkness below your figure, each passing second felt more like an anomaly than the present taking over it's future. A dark whirling pressure pulls you down more, a completely dark void which surrounded you fully, an emptiness that induced fear, unknowingness, it was uncanny.

Despite the dreading pull along your feet, the same body parts you hated for walking - it walked you to your worst and hated places, it held you up when you would much rather decompose in the filth of your bed, something clung onto your hand and held you up even when the only vision you see is a complete reflection of your thoughts, empty.

Sometimes, you hated touch - that was a lie, you hate touch. You hate it when you get a hug that held no value, you hate it when others send warmth to your body, your cold, without any second thought. However, the hand that held yours somehow felt like holding a mug of hot tea, like intaking hot soup relaxingly burning down your throat.

The warmth that held you was a boy, you noticed the ivory complexion laced upon his warm hands, a different feeling than when he was wearing cold, leather gloves. "Dude- you gotta be shittin' me.." a husky voice sighs from the other side, hands deeply clung onto your own in a gravitational pull.

"I'm okay with falling! Just let me go.." you mumble, now you wouldn't have to meet expectations, or feel the dread of waking up ij the morning. You watched as the ability you were trapped in completely used your greatest fear against you; the dark.

You weren't sure how you got into this situation, when you were younger - some people were gifted with special abilities that defy science, yours was no different; but instead of joining an organization to be against or with humanity, you lived your life as somebody normal would.

Only now, your ability got sold for a high price on the black market, not only do criminals desire your skill, but government workers too; strangers from fucking hell. You were taken into the backropes of the Port Mafia, reigning from Yokohama, Japan; the wish was to transport you back to Yokohama in one piece, fuifilled by a trusted mafioso, Nakahara Chuuya.

He was like any other boy your age, he was a nice guy, actually; just in the wrongest, most immoral line of work, at the ripe age of what, sixteen?

And to you, a normal student, the normalization of superpowers was pretty crazy. Nakahara Chuuya was a shithead that showed you of that, he was chill but aggressive, moral but immoral, small but incredibly strong?

"No way I'm lettin' ya go, you're fuckin' crazy!!" he shouts, pulling your limp body up from the void, you pensively look down at the endless pit, reminicing moments where you were at peace. "I'm not crazy, you are! And stop fucking swearing!!" you scream back, dangling yourself and grasping onto the leather sleeves of his jacket.

"You stop fuckin' swearing!"

"Nuh-uh!!"

A heavy silence filled the void, and the sudden tug from his hands. "The ability uses your darkest fear against you, why the hell did you willingly fall?!" the boy shouts back, a little crack in his voice emerged, causing you to lower your eyebrows in slight embarrassment. "Because why would I keep living and fufill expectations I never asked to recieve?!" you answer, eyes flitting to every corner possible in that dark void, a star, a light - no, only his hand. "You can't be serious - I get it! Life is a bitch, doesn't mean you hafta kill yourself!" he argues, pulling you upwards as you dangle your body weight down.

"I am not killing myself!" you hiss, listening as Chuuya retorts with a scoff. "Yeah, you just let yourself fuckin' fall." he chews on his bottom lip stressfully, "Think of all the amazing shit you can live for; dogs, puppies, smoking!!"

"Gross!! Don't you know how much damage that smoking causes your lungs?!" you shout back, the sleeve of your uniform cuffing onto your held up arm. "Fine - alcohol!" Chuuya clicks his tongue, trying to find out luxuries of life. "That's disgusting! The blurry lines between a social drinker and an alcoholic are extremely thin!" the boy tightens his grip in annoyance, "What the hell do ya even like?! Parties?"

"Parties are a mix of sweat and loud noises that give me migraines! Not everyone is a fuckin' gangster, y'know?" the redheaded boy sighs begrudgingly, attempting to pull you up. "..I don't know what girls like, clothes...?" you pause and rub your temple with your free hand, "Just let me go already! Nobody has it worse than me!"

"Fuuck!" Chuuya groans at your dismissal, "I'll tell ya what I'm living for - I saw weird shit until I woke up in the real world when I was like 8?! Now there's a God living inside me!!" you grew silent, ".. I'm not your therapist!" you stammer, causing the boy to hiss. "[Y/N]! Let me help you so I can find out about the past I've never had." you bit your lip torn, hearing as the void went silent.

From the minimal interactions you shared with the ginger, his actions always seemed barricaded, as if he were put behind glass his whole life. And from his story, it seemed pretty right. He's far too loyal with that mafia, and blames himself for the short coming of his old organization. 'Nobody has it worse than me!' rung through your mind, god, how you internally facepalmed. You hated being touched, but you were sort of touched; and as selfish as you were, or are, you had to dress another morning successfully waking up.

"..Or else Ima call the God - O' grantors, of dark dispa-"

"Fuck! You can help me, alright?!"

#Spotify #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #15 chuuya #spotify #bsd x reader #15 light novel bsd #chuuya x reader #chocsra #asa mitaka #asa mitaka reader #csm #csm reader

[squeakadeeks]

i havent overshared something extremely complicated and personal on here in awhile so its time to fix that

you might recall that after this past summer i've been trying to recover from anorexia. progress has been....ok. i suppose better than nothing but im certainly in the rocky/awkward phase of it now. Thats part of why i've been doing more illustrative art/doll art as opposed to sharing images of myself/things that relate to my appearance like cosplay.

which brings me to the primary thing thats on my mind which that historically, whenever people give accolades or shout out my strengths as a costumer, a majority of the time its on my shilloweete. and sure, i do work a lot with petticoats and padding to make things more dramatic, but fully and genuinely 90% of that is just because of how disproportionately weird my measurements are with respect to my head and skeleton. its not actually a skill, talent, or anything i've put effort into, its just a consequence of anorexia. and its hard because when people draw attention to it, i cant be like "thanks. its because ive been intentionally and resolutely trying to off myself for the past 10 years."

i guess this is something that i shouldn't be picky about, i feel bad getting upset over compliments but i do wish i could be recognized more for my design work, material strategy, and actual craftsmanship over how i look. especially because of the next thing, which is the fact that i get...a not insignificant amount of feedback from people saying they wished they looked like me in a post, or saying that they dont feel like they can cosplay the same characters because of their body.

and at the risk of being controversial, i know that oftentimes the response to statements like that are "COSPLAY IS FOR EVERYONE <3" or a similar sentiment, but this ignores that fact that cosplay is not the same for everyone. because look, there was a brief period in 2016 when i actually was at a healthy weight and my treatment in the cosplay community was like night and day. i dont know what to say when i know that the way we're going to be viewed for doing idential things is going to be significantly different, and i think back to how much praise i get for things that are disordered behavior. If those comments wernt there...would anything else actually fill that void? if that person wasnt giving me a compliment on how much i "actually look like that character", would they have said anything at all?

one of my goals is to eventually get to the point where i can make good on my word and my internal morals and try to challenge those ideas by existing in spite of them, but dawg. i just simply do not have that mental resolve yet. at the very least ive wanted to address it on tiktok and IG where this problem happens the most, but i both dont know how to approach the topic responsibility and if i could handle the upsetting comments, be them well intentioned or otherwise.

#tw ed descussion

[lifesver]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN !

what made you pick up the muse you have ? : my friend typecasted my muse type when the victims concept art was announced. just immediately pointed out the horror jock like yep. that'll be the one u like. and then i played the tcsm beta back in may me and rae started wildly theorycrafting.... and well my demons have been winning since. i love a jock who is kind of fail but trying his best like you got me there.

is there anything you really enjoy writing ? : i'm a creep i'm a weirdo i love exploring horror and the many themes that can coexist in it. ig i like to kind of examine trauma and the healing process through the lens of the slasher genre, as well as where horror and love coincide as themes. i think there is underrepresentation in just....... letting slasher final kids have some kind of healing arc, or letting their story continue in general? seeing them before and after the things that happen to them? and i can't always do it but i do also like to kind of dive down into slasher horror and light gore and just practicing writing dynamic action scenes and what a character's thought process is like during those kinds of moments. i love an opportunity to be mean to my blorbo

is there anything you don't like to write ? : probably just anything needlessly like... melodramatic between characters? i have no interest in plots like genuine jealousy and love triangles and interpersonal shit like that, mostly because i write horror and there are so many more interesting things to focus on imo? and because not enough slasher content casts seem like they actually care about each other lmaooo. is this a callout post about gun.'s take on the friend group? perhaps.

how do you come up with your headcanons ? : dude i just receive the prophecies and act like im on twitter tossing my every stupid thought into the void.

do you write in silence or listen to music ? : tbh i usually write either in silence or in a deranged third way (writing between games of overwatch) my adhd sometimes demands that i am doing several things at the same time and sometimes i can sit down at the coffee shop put on some instrumentals and just slam some replies in

do you plan your replies or wing them ? : hmmm a bit of both? i usually have to start by winging it, which usually involves me dropping in whatever reaction dialogue immediately comes to me. kind of work around that, save and close the draft, and then think about the reply a bit until i eventually know where i'm going with it LOL

do you enjoy shipping ? : i do with friends! i'm not actually a huge like... ships person in a general fandom sense and i rarely feel any particular way until something is compelling to me in fanon, but i can ship most things if it's with a writing partner i like! simply ask rae we will be creating ships 0 people are thinking about shout out leland/connie tcsm tommy/jenny f13 and jake/adam dbd. i also usually go hard on the slowburn, and that's just like, personal comfort for getting to know my muse and my writing partner's muse, but also just think slowburn rules

what's your alias / name ? : kels.

zodiac sign ? : pisces sun, gemini moon, aries rising.

Birthday? : march 20th!

favorite color ? : a sort of pastel pink-lilac

favorite song ? : feel that it must be go your own way / fleetwood mac

last movie you watched ? : oh jesus i fear it was hellraiser: revelations

last show you watched ? : icr if it was an episode of goosebumps or true detective tbh

last song you listened to ? : putting the dog to sleep by the antlers....

favorite food ? : veggie burritos probably. or honestly like. just a really good bagel cream cheese LMFAO

favorite season ? : spring (:

do you have a tumblr best friend ? : rae and i have been in and out of these trenches for years i fear

TAGGED BY : @solarisgod thank u!!! mwah mwah <3

TAGGING : all my fellas

#:3c #readmore'd bc it's kinda long

[sparksnevadas]

I have finished reading the latest GIHASM chapter and I am here to let it be known that I am once again wailing sobbing crying about mumscarian.

I feel like it can’t be said enough but the way you write them together… they’re just so soft. The little domestic scene of Scar and Grian cooking together. The implicit trust between Mumbo and Scar as they talk about how they are doing in the wake of everything. Grian trusting Mumbo to be there while he and Pearl preen and Mumbo getting the courage to speak about his experiences with the HA inspired by Grian. I could probably write a whole novel about how much I love the tender affection between them and how absolutely romantic your depiction of them is <3

(Side note: the way you write cooking has really reminded me that I do indeed love to do that)

The dancing scene needs a special shout-out, okay? I had to keep pausing to hide my face because it was just so good. I love your redscape dynamic so much, I think about them often.

The bit about Bdubs’ driving was great too! You got so much of his chapter into such a short bit.

And the parts about Grian’s complex emotions about the HA </3 they were so realistic and I loved getting to see that (especially with the added context of that post about why you named the chapter as you did).

I know you’ve said you are starting to wrap up GIHASM and while I am obviously excited to see what you come up with next, I am definitely going to miss this AU a lot. Every time I get that AO3 update email it puts a smile on my face and I drop whatever I’m doing to go and read it immediately. I love GIHASM so much and if anyone who is still reading at this point hasn’t read it yet I highly, highly recommend you go and check it out!

void!!! my friend <3 i had not noticed you sent this, i am genuinely sorry!

i love little domestic scenes, even if these idiots wont admit they're in love, they will cook for each other, sacrifice for each other, let each other sleep in and distract each other when its needed.

this is a very minor thing but i feel like in popular media and fic, once a character finds out they like someone, its very fast: attempted confessions, miscommunictions (my dearly detested), etc. etc. my thing is like... i wanted to explore what it would be like to fall in love with your friend over a year and not notice. and what'd be like to figure out you kinda see your nemesis as a friend (and maybe more, as you get to learn more and more about him). and even when you do find out, are you really that quick to turn around and risk something you value so much? maybe, maybe. Im trying really hard to find a balance between the two ends i suppose. its very slow going, but im glad everyone seems to be enjoying the ride? But anyways ya, ya, they are in love, but more importantly, they are best friends :)

(I LOVE COOKING!!!! the recipe for the spanish omelet is a mix between official recipes (putting it in the oven) and my own (adding bell pepper occasionally. it adds flavor and color))

its really funny to me that when i started drafting this fic, my head was so full of redscape stuff. and then i kinda realized i needed to focus on grian, so then i went full scarian mode for a bit. grumbo is the ship i feel like in a way i've had to put on the back burner for most of the fic bc mumbo wasn't "there" for the first half. anyways i love redscape. it consists of one Anxious but sweet man and his Confident but too sweet man wholoves him very loudly (but maybe not loudly enough?). and theyre best friends :) and they were roommates!

<3 <3 <3 i think i havent made it super clear in the fic up until this point that everyone and everything is morally gray, including the like. ig antagonist? of the fic. The HA has good people in it, and it has people who are not so good. everyone has different opinions on what should happen to it, and they are all valid in their own ways. given that a lot of readers were rallying against the HA, i was like :3c time to reveal why grian likes bleaching his wings and why he loves the HA and will always feel mixed emotions about it.

(can you tell i like writing about complicated relationships? lmao)

i have about 2 more story beats to finish off on..... i have also been saying i have two more beats for about 2-3 months. I say "soon", i have no idea how much longer this fic will take to write. for example, i thought of the stuff for this chapter within the last three weeks. so it was a last minute beat add. soooooo idk. "soon" but like. im gonna take any excuse to write more domestic scenes lmao. a meandering "soon"

anyways!!!! hi void my friend!!! thank you so much for this long ask i love long comments so much i love seeing what everyone picks up on and what parts are fun to read!!! genuinely the interview part was nervewracking for me to write bc i was like... i hope i dont sound preachy but journalism is important to me, and morality is important. anyways, i wont ramble any longer, but i lov u!!!

#its void! #gihasm

[that-bookworm-guy]

I've not really been active on here much and I'm way more active on my Instagram that_bookworm_guy

I'm not sure what to do with this account and I'm not sure if I'm going to attempt to enjoy this again, or whether I just delete it.

I feel like booklr died years ago near enough. I've not really had much interaction on the bookish content I put out or on my blog as a whole. I've lost a lot of motivation that I had to create own content, I've not written many book reviews in months because I was spending time on them for next to no interaction

I can't tell whether this is just my depression sucking the joy out of this, because I genuinely used to love coming on here, but now it feels almost like a chore. I feel like I have no reason to come online.

I've been considering deleting this for a while now because I don't even know what I contribute on here

I want to enjoy it, but lately I haven't been

I feel like, apart from my scheduled posts, I come on here to post something just so there is something, then I disappear for weeks

#i think im attached just because ive had this account for over 6 years #but i genuinely feel like im shouting into a void most of the time #it was really fun when booklr was a biggish thing #idk #im depressed and i cant tell the difference between not enjoyjng something for reasons #or not enjoying something because of depression #i think i seriously need to think about the future of this blog and my side blogs #and if they do in fact have a future

[2dmenenthusiast]

I can't remember if I sent this to you already but could I request headcanons for aizawa, hizashi and Toshinori finding their s/o that has a chipmunk quirk that makes her fall into hibernation when it's too cold (kinda like tsu) but when the guys find her with her heart rate low and her breathing shallow maybe they freak a little bc she didn't tell them about that part of her quirk yet

omggggg this idea is literally so cute I got so excited when I first read it. Also thank you love for comin through with the requests, I really appreciate it! <3 I also hella struggled cuz like, what can someone with a chipmunk quirk do? Stuff their cheeks? Climb up trees? Also I legit forgot what a chipmunk even looked like I had to look it up lmaoooo im so dumb it hurts

Aizawa is an intimidating fella, okay

So when you first told him about your quirk, you were lowkey embarrassed?

Like, here’s this grown-ass man with a badass quirk who is more than capable of taking down villains and defending himself, and here you are just-

🐿️

But you know what’s great about this man? He couldn’t give less of a shit about your quirk or anything like that. He strikes me as the type to care more about personality than anything else

concealing your quirk is fairly easy. People probably wouldn’t even know you had one if it wasn’t for the small fluffy ears popping out of the top of your head, and even then you could just cover them with a hat

But that doesn’t mean you don’t experience the effects of your own quirk just because it’s subtle

You have a mutant type quirk, so you experience certain things that actual chipmunks do

Sometimes you won’t even notice that you’re stuffing your cheeks to full capacity with whatever you’re eating before Aizawa has to cut you off and just be like

“y/n. Chew.”

Or when you’re rushing, you’re usually going so fast that Aizawa can barely even see you zooming from room to room

you can also get kinda skittish at times, your ears twitching whenever you hear a noise that sounds weird or out of place, and you’ll just look at Aizawa with wide eyes until he checks out what made a noise that he could barely hear

“y/n, it was just some kids outside.”

“Oh... sorry, Sho.”

he wants to be frustrated, but he knows it’s not your fault. And honestly? He finds you so cute that he can’t really stay mad at you

So he’ll just let out a huff before patting your head lovingly, grazing his fingers over your ears (Which he KNOWS are sensitive, that asshole)

Experiencing long periods of deep sleep is also a thing. You wouldn’t call it hibernation cuz you still have to do normal, everyday things, but there are times during the winter where you’ll sleep for a few days in a row and only get up to go to the bathroom or eat

And since you can’t actually burrow into the floor of your home, you usually make a blanket fort in the corner of your bedroom and stuff all of the pillows and blankets you can in there until it’s nice and warm, ready for you to bury yourself in

and you might’ve left that little part of your quirk out when you moved in together. whoops

So when Shouta comes home and sees the living room couch void of all of its pillows, he’s not expecting to walk into your shared bedroom and see you curled up in a blanket fort

he’s a bit curious at first, just kinda looking at you like “All right, I guess this is normal?”

and he’ll crouch down and kinda examine you for a bit before he eventually wonders if you’re even breathing? You’re burried under blankets, so he can’t really see your chest moving

eventually he’ll check and see that your breathing is abnormally slow and he kinda just... pauses and checks again to make sure he’s not going crazy.

and he wont deny that he kinda freaks out at first, his immediate thought being that he needs to get you out of there, but the second he grabs the blankets to pull them off of you he’s like wait... hold up.

then it all clicks

you’re a mutant with a chipmunk quirk...

c h i p m u n k

safe to say he’s relieved, so he just lets you be and goes about his day. 

When you wake up a few hours later to go to the bathroom, you come out of the bedroom with your clothes practically on backwards, rubbing at your eyes and stumbling past Aizawa like he’s not even there. And when you’re done, it’s right back to sleep you go

“Back to bed?” Aizawa would ask as he watches you with an amused smirk on his face

“Mhm.”

“Okay. Goodnight, y/n”

“Mm’night.

Listen, when he first heard of your quirk, he thought it was the cutest shit ever

“Your quirk is Chipmunk?! That’s SOOOOOOOO CUUUUUUUTE!”

No he’s legit your number one hype man. If you think your quirk is lame, he’s literally shouting at you how cool he thinks you are.

“You can stuff so much food in your mouth, y/n! And that’s pretty dope if you ask me! I’m totally jealous!”

speaking of food, he’ll just randomly ask you to shove as much as you can of one thing in your cheeks until they’re at full capacity.

“Hey y/n, think you can shove this whole pack of jumbo marshmallows in your cheeks?”

“But... I just bought those :(”

“I’ll buy you more, LET’S DO THIS!!!”

also asks you the dumbest questions omg. You don’t know if he’s genuinely curious or if he’s just doing it to piss you off

“So do you just eat nuts all day?”

“You’ve seen me eat, Hizashi. No.”

“Do you prefer to sleep in trees?”

“That would be extremely uncomfortable.”

“Ooh you’d probably be great frieds with Kamui Woods then.”

“Did you not hear what I just said?”

He also REALLY likes your ears. Like an unhealthy amount? Whenever you’re around he literally wont stop touching them and even tugs on them playfully until you’re swatting at his hands and telling him to go away

He can’t help that they’re so cute :(

so on a particuallry cold day in winter when he has to go to work at the school, he leaves your home while you’re sleeping, only to come home hours later to find you... still sleeping?

You haven’t moved an inch the entire time he’s been gone, so needless to say, he’s a litle concerned.

and when he checks to see if you’re still alive only to discover your heart rate is super slow, he’s A LOT concerned

His brain just goes to the most dramatic thing he can think of, which is that you’re in some weird coma and need to wake up

so rather than, i dont know, gently shaking you awake like a normal person, he grabs you buy your shoulders and starts shaking you violently while shouting your name loud as fuck

“Y/NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN”

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!”

you literally wake up so violently, you sit right up and shove him off of you before asking what’s wrong with him, pretty sure you’ve officially gone deaf

He then explains that he thought you were in a coma or something cuz your heartbeat was so slow, and at that point you just roll your eyes because of course he would come up with this ridiculous conclusion

“Hizashi, my quirk is chipmunk and it’s a mutation quirk.”

He doesn’t even get what you’re getting at, just tilting his head in confusion as he squints at you.

“What do chipmunks do in the winter, babe?”

Cue more confused squinting

“Oh my god, they hibernate, you headass.”

it finally clicks and the look on his face makes it seem like he just learned the secret of the universe, and afterwards he’s going on about how cool that is while you just roll your eyes and lay back down to try and go back to sleep, bringing the blanket over your head to try and drown him out

He eventually gets the hint and leaves, but after a while, you kinda feel bad for blowing up on him. He was just concerned and didn’t fully understand your quirk

so letting out a huff, you pull the blanket down and call out his name, to which he immediately runs to you at the sound of, asking you what you need

you just wordlessly lift up the blanket to expose the empty side of the bed, and oh boy, the size of the grin he gets on his face is unmatched

immediately throws off his hero costume so that you can both be comfortable and jumps into bed with you, holding you impossibly close

you fall asleep in a matter of minutes while he just looks at you fondly, hand soothingly rubbing your back.

Just like the other two, he finds you incredibly cute. Like mans is in love, okay?

everytime he sees your little ears twitch, he just gets the strongest urge to touch them, but he never does without your consent becuase he knows how sensitive they are.

“Uh... y/n, do you mind if I... touched your ears?” 

Baby probably feels so awkward asking ugh PLEASE REASSURE HIM

“Oh? Yeah, of course, Toshi. Knock yourself out.”

oooh he’s excited. He’ll be super gentle about it, just lightly grazing them with his fingers before gently rubbing them between his thumb and forefinger

and at that point you’re littlerally melting, practically falling into him because him caressing your ears like this feels absolutely amazing

When he sees how it’s affecting you, he immediately becomes a blushing mess and apologizes, but you just hug him and tell him it’s okay and that you liked it

yeah he definitely rubs your ears whenever you’re feeling stressed or anxious because it’s become a quick way to relax you

only when he does it though. If anyone else randomly touches your ears, you get kinda uncomfortable

Just because they don’t look human doesn’t mean they still weren’t a part of you, dammit

Anyways, one day when you’re waiting for Toshi to come back home, you’ve got yourself wrapped up like a burrito in your blanket, sitting on the couch as you watched tv

it had been snowing all day, but luckily Toshinori had turned up the thermostat before he left, remembering how you mentioned that you’re not a huge fan of the cold

unfortunately for you, the harsh weather had no trouble taking out the power, leaving you in the dark and the cold

it didn’t take long for the cold to start seeping in through the cracks in the windows, and you quickly began to grow tired before you inevitibly passed out on the couch, still wrapped tightly in your blanket

When Toshi gets home and sees you on the couch, his first reaction is “aw, how cute.”

but then when he comes up to you and starts calling out your name to try and wake you up and you just won’t, and then he notices how much your breathing has slowed down, he quickly growns concerened.

He’s not in full panic mode yet, but he’s getting there, and he’s quick to crouch down to your level and grab your shoulders to start shaking you to wake you up

which you do, blinking groggily at him like you weren’t just in full hibernation mode

“Oh... Hey, Toshi,” you mumble, and you reach up to wrap your arms around his neck to pull him down so that you can nuzzle yourself into his warm chest

He’s not able to ask you about what happened to you before you’ve already fallen back asleep, and when the power comes back on a few minutes later, he does a quick google search on chipmunks and mutant quirks before putting two and two together

Now he’s thinking of all the ways he could make you something to burrow into during those especially cold winters

#mha headcanons #mha x reader #all might headcanons #toshinori headcanons #toshinori x reader #aizawa headcanons #shouta aizawa x reader #present mic headcanons #present mic x reader #hizashi yamada x reader #bnha headcanons #eraserhead headcanons #eraserhead x reader #request #ask

[sunnomnoms]

Wow hi anon is on 😳 whoever could this be? Totally not someone who sent an ask about appreciating polly before 😳 Could I request apollo having feelings for y/n who is also king of like phoenix's kid? Like maybe since the trilogy games and they are a little oblivious to the fact. I feel like phoenix would be slightly protective seeing how he was concerned about trucy calling Klavier handsome, but that might be been since she was 15. Also woah this is a lot sorry 😳 im excited

oh hello stranger 😳never seen u before 😳😳😳 this is a super cute concept ashskdkd, I decided to use a headcanon format for this one if that’s okay! also I smooch u for asking for Apollo bc I fricken love him, I’m always happy to fill the void with more Apollo content.

You’re a big sibling to Trucy, you had been adopted a bit before her by Phoenix back when he dealt with a case where you lost both of your parents. His heart bled too much for you to leave you behind to be lost to the foster system.

You work with Trucy often with her magic tricks, often making sure she didn’t do anything to get herself hurt or anything. You had your own hobbies of course, but you did enjoy working with Trucy at the now Wright Anything Agency.

Apollo sort of had an eye for you since the beginning. You were similar to Trucy in many ways, but a bit more level headed and mature (and around his age, thank god). The way you kindly offered him help with his work when he knew any other person would rather do anything else... it made him feel looked out for. Surprisingly enough, when you did help out, you offered good insight and interesting new angles to take the case. You were good with helping him when he was stuck at some part of a case.

Apollo didn’t want to admit to himself that he had an eye for you, he really didn’t. He felt it would damage the relationship you two currently shared, and he would rather die.

Unfortunately for Apollo, literally everyone else can sense his internal dilemma. Except you, of course.

Apollo is NOT subtle at all with his feelings for you. He can choke down his nervousness when the two of you are working a case together most of the time, but when you two are together and have no main task at hand.... he’s kind of a wreck.

Apollo is teased a lot by Trucy about you. She has a tally system. Whenever Apollo stares at you longer than about 3 seconds, she puts a tally and shouts the number he’s at. He’s currently at 57. You have no idea why Trucy is shouting numbers. Whenever you ask Apollo insists he’ll tell you later, but he never does.

Apollo has a bad habit of giving you things. You may be asking: the hell does that mean? You see, whenever you’re around, he usually gives you little things like snacks or something of that sort. It gets to a point where he might even give you his lunch just to be sweet to you. It isn’t uncommon for him to bring you coffee or tea in the morning, he usually stops at a cafe in the morning for something to eat anyway. He asked you once if you liked coffee/tea and what kind, and he immediately memorized your favorite. Even if it’s one of those super complex Starbucks orders, he knows it like the back of his hand. Besides just food, Apollo has a habit of picking up little keychains or knick-knacks he thinks you might like. You have probably 17 keychains because of him.

One of the things Apollo will never admit is that he enjoys when you accompany him to court. Maybe more than he should enjoy it. He always enjoys your presence, but a part of him really enjoys you getting to see him pick apart cases and serve justice (haha). He feels “cool” when he makes a break in a case when you’re around. He absolutely lives for the praise you give him for it too. Hearing you gush about how cool you think he is almost better than the satisfaction of serving the justice itself.

Despite how much Apollo fumbles around you, you have no idea you are the center of his attraction. No one knows how you can’t tell. It’s... painfully obvious?

Apollo doesn’t mind the teasing from Trucy, but there was something he was afraid of with the situation more than you finding out.

And that’s Phoenix.

Phoenix, like anyone else who has seen the two of you interact for more than 2 minutes, is pretty damn aware of Apollo’s attraction towards you.

As your father, he’s a bit protective over you. Sure, you may be an adult, but you were still his baby deep down inside. This being said... Apollo may or may not have been intimidated by him a few times.

Phoenix is super passive aggressive. He makes jokes about how Apollo should be “careful” around his baby [Y/N], and often tells him “don’t get any ideas” when they go to investigate a crime scene or something like that alone. Every now and then, he’ll tease you in front of Apollo, saying how he’ll chase any boys who like you away. You of course laugh with him, complaining how he’s no fun. Apollo acts like he isn’t affected by the playful interaction between a father and their kid, but he most certainly can see the glances Phoenix shoots at him.

After awhile of you two being close, Phoenix does eventually warm up to the idea a little. He has a genuine talk with Apollo about you, letting him know that if he really wanted you... he wouldn’t want any other guy to have you really and truly. Apollo nervously explained that he had no malicious intent with you, and that if Phoenix would allow him, he’d give you everything. It was a tense moment of silence before Phoenix spoke up saying “that’s what I like to hear”.

Apollo didn’t actually expect Phoenix to give him an ‘okay’ to date you. He just assumed he would always be stuck in a situation of “gosh I really like you but your dad scares me”. But now with your fathers permission, he can now safely pursue you. Uh... assuming he has the guts to ask you out, that is.

#ace attorney request #ace attorney apollo justice #ace attorney imagines #ace attorney x reader #apollo justice x reader #apollo x reader #apollo justice #i love him #ryu aa tag

[galaxytale]

mmmm…. i have new thoughts about my ex and i’s situation.

i know i have rambled on here in the past about them. often bitterly and angrily. to be honest, those words came from a place of immense hurt and betrayal. a lot of pain and a lot of complex emotions that i needed to vent out and process. and the way i did this previously was… rather embarrassing and harmful and not good for anyone. but it has been a long year, and i have had much to think about. and my brain does not like to process many of these things in a normal way. i often just use this blog as a place to barf out my thoughts at random so i can work out whats going on in my mind. this doesnt excuse it but i hope it allows for some understanding.

its been a long time since my ex and i broke up. and i just… idk didnt know how to deal properly. but i think about them a lot. obviously. what you see is mostly the negatives. the frustrations and the confusions and the residual aches and pains. mostly because these are what im trying best to understand. i want to understand them, i want to understand their perspective. it frustrates me when i cant understand, and it frustrates me more when i feel as if they couldnt understand me or didnt even try. but i still care for them greatly. which is why i get frustrated. i do not think many people understand this. i want to understand why they hurt me. i want to understand how i hurt them. i want to learn and grow. but to do that i also have to experience and process the anger and frustration i felt towards them. this is what you all see when i ramble and rant.

anyway this is the last time im doing this publicly because honestly this is a stupid way to process stuff this and i figured out something way better. also im just. tired of it. im tired of being angry and being hurt. that doesnt mean itll stop but. yall wont be seeing it.

i still hold many of my previous thoughts and criticisms of them. and i still consider many of these valid and fair. and i still deny ever doing many of the things they accused me of because ive spoken with other people about them - people actually involved in the situation(s), and they have supported and corroborated my side of the story as well as my feelings regarding those various situations.

however i have come to some realizations that i think allow me to better understand parts of their side of it all.

ive realized some things about myself and how my mind functions that have lead me to other realizations. these realizations include that i misunderstood a lot of things they were trying to get me to do, tools they were trying to get me to employ, things that actually would have been helpful to me had i understood. i see now that in some of the cases they were pushing me on and making me extremely uncomfortable with, that they were genuinely trying to be helpful because they cared. because they were trying to help me just as i was trying to help them.

the problem here is that i was not ready for, and did not understand a lot of the new things being pushed at me. much of what they were trying to get me to engage with were therapy techniques and stuff to learn to cope better. unfortunately due to a lot of previous bad experiences with therapy and such techniques i am extremely adverse to and suspicious of therapy and therapeutic settings/techniques. combined with a lot of new information about myself that i needed time to adjust to and process. a lot of it scared me and i needed them to slow down and be gentler with me in this rather than throwing me in the deep end and expecting me to swim.

i misunderstood a lot of the tools they were trying to offer me - how to use them properly and why. i thought i made this obvious that i didnt understand a lot of it and in fact didnt want to engage with a lot of it outright - even though i was willing to try. the issue is i also needed a good example or instruction of what they wanted from me and… well. they did their best, this i know they tried, but it was not enough for me to understand what they really wanted from me.

i now understand that this is likely why they grew frustrated with me. and this also factors into something that ive come to realize and understand about myself - in fact its one of the things they criticized about me most… ive come to understand the true nature of what the thing i did that they hated most was actually. and ive since worked out a solution to it that actually has been shown to be far more effective and efficient in doing what the thing they were criticizing me about most was doing. this took a lot of work and a long time for me to come to the realization of what it was that i needed to do and how it worked. and i needed to be allowed to make this discovery on my own time, at my own pace to be able to accept it as part of how i work.

unfortunately due to a lot of things, i was also quite terrible to them myself. and i recognize this. i recognized it before - i tried my best to fix my understanding of it but i did not know what i didnt know. i did not know, and did not understand, what i now know and understand. but much of my actions were because i was scared, confused, uncomfortable, and dealing with a whole lot of shit outside of our relationship. and i am genuinely and truly remorseful for what i did. i was remorseful back then, and i still am now. i did some bad things and i know this. i speak of it vaguely here because honestly while im just shouting to the void i still know this is a public blog and theres a chance people will actually read this and frankly. i consider it none of their business unless they were involved. i did lash out at them, and i did treat them unfairly.

however i still feel as if they refuse to acknowledge my point of view in much of this, as well as that they lashed out at me and have refused to acknowledge and apologize for it all. i have never heard them say the words “im sorry” for any of the things i consider the worst things they did to me. much of the time they refused to even acknowledge the fact that a lot of it hurt me despite me outright stating such. they also refused to acknowledge that i had repeatedly tried to assert my own boundaries with them and refused to accept a new boundary when it was drawn.

they did a lot of terrible things to me in return. including things that they, themself, accused me of doing to them initially. i still deny these accusations and consider myself completely innocent (at worst, should my own memory really be that faulty, i consider myself only having caused a huge misunderstanding among friends as well as having accidentally fucking up something that left out important context). i feel this way because they would not produce any evidence to prove to me my own actions that would negate the memories i myself actually have as well as the evidence in support of my side of the case that i have. all they could provide was testimony from a person who would not have had direct access to either side of the conversation that they are alleging happened a certain way. a conversation that i, personally, was half of. a conversation that i spoke with the other half about again, after showing them what i was being accused of, who also verified my recollection of the events.

i feel as if they refuse to even consider my perspective. i felt this way for a good amount of the relationship, and i still feel this way. i feel that they refused to communicate with me and ensure that both of us completely understood the other. i feel that they refused to be considerate of my needs and respectful towards me as a person after a certain point. i feel as if they refused to work to compromise with me on many situations, and i feel that they often tried to demand of me many things that were unreasonable, and that they often moved goalposts or failed to deliver on their end of the deal when i still bent over backwards to do something for them.

however. i do also feel that at some point in time, they did genuinely care for me. and i do feel like i would like to apologize for the new places where i realize i caused them undue stress and frustration.

but i also feel that they would not accept this apology for those parts that i now recognize my own hand in without me accepting and apologizing for the narrative that i know is false. additionally… i do not feel as if they would accept or apologize for any of their own parts in the situation. i still feel theyre likely to reject that they hurt me very very deeply, and badly in return.

as much as i would like to start the conversation of potentially working out the issues and reconnecting as friends… i still feel as if they would view this as an impossibility. because i feel they view me as something of a monster, and not as someone who was under immense amounts of stress and pressure and was very confused and scared for months on end.

i recognize its very likely their feelings echo my own. except for the portion about potentially being friends again… i feel as if this is a forgone conclusion to them that it will not be happening.

all this said…

i also want to say this. in hindsight they were right about the tool they gave to me for one of my specific issues. the one they gave me before the start of it all. the one i was extremely adverse to accepting and trying to adapt to. i did not understand what its actual purpose was for at the time, nor did i understand how they actually meant for me to use it. because of some recent things ive learned about myself, as well as have been able to actually accept, i now understand what they meant. and ill admit that they were right about this one. its really helpful now that i understand what i was supposed to do with it.

they were right and i was wrong. simple as. at least, in regards to this one thing.

#chrono speaks #griff talks about his ex #for the final time anyway #this is all for me tbh #just cuz its helping me to come to terms with some stuff and feel more at peace with things #i dont think theyll see it #they never looked at my blog anyway before #just ive been doing a lot of introspection and thinking and you guys only see a portion of it all and not even my real like #level headed thoughts on things

[freddiesaysalright]

Soft in Love Part 9

A Gwilym Lee x Student!Reader Fic

Summary: Y/N is an acting student in her last semester of college. When a professor unexpectedly can’t make it for the senior capstone class, a very famous (and handsome) substitute is called in. When they connect, they face a few challenges.

Word Count: 3.2k

Tag List:  @psychosupernatural​, @someone-get-a-medic​, @bensrhapsody​, @deakyclicks​, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession​, @minigranger​, @crazyweirdocalledfriday​, @benders-diamond-earring​, @im-an-adult-ish​, @anincurablefangirl​, @kiainspace​, @lookuptotheskiesandsee​, @god-save-the-deaks​, @assembledherethevolunteers​, @misslolasworld​, @not-john-watsons-blog​, @spacedustmazzello​, @theindiealto​, @riddikuluslypotter​, @depressedbitchxox​, @tenement-funstah​, @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls​, @sarablog10​, @johndeaconshands​, @coincidence-ithinknots-blog​, @simonedk​, @queenlover05​, @goodoldfashionedloverboyy​, @the-claire-bitch-project, @kerouacsroad​, @rose-writes-prose​ If you’d like to be added, let me know!

A/N: The drama intensifies! Gwilym and Y/N make some important decisions regarding Edith’s blackmail.

Warning(s): none!

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8 

Part 9 here we go!!!

That night, Gwilym picked you up from your dorm. His hands were sweaty as he waited for you to emerge. Again, he was debating telling you about Edith and her threats. That way you wouldn’t be so angry at him. But a stronger part of him didn’t want to make you feel bad. Still, he knew you were going to have questions. He had to come up with something to say to satisfy you.

You slid into the passenger seat, his heart skipping its usual beat at the sight of your smile. When you leaned over to kiss him, he was surprised.

“You’re not angry with me?” he wondered as you sat back to buckle up.

You shook your head. “Daniel told me what happened.”

“Daniel?”

You explained what Daniel told you in the dressing room. You even shared his suggestion to break up and take away Edith’s power. You carefully watched Gwilym’s expression at this. His mouth turned down and he narrowed his eyes. He pulled up to his hotel in silence. As you followed him to his room, you grew more anxious. He wasn’t actually considering what Daniel said was he? You had refused it as an option because it felt impossible. Did Gwilym not feel the same? What did that mean?

Gwilym opened the door for you and you walked inside, legs slightly shaking. You weren’t sure what he might say now. Would he end it?

He flopped down on the bed, lying spread eagle. You crawled up after him and cuddled into his side. His arm draped over your shoulders. It made you feel so safe.

“We’ve got to figure something out,” he said. “She can’t take shows from you.”

“I dunno, baby,” you said. “Maybe we should just let this happen.”

“It’s not right!” he protested.

“No, it’s not, but what can we do?” you replied. “We’ve sort of done this to ourselves.”

“I know,” he sighed irritably. “But I hate this for you.”

“I do too,” you agreed. “I really do. Especially opening night. I wish you had given her closing instead.”

“She asked for that,” he said. “But I couldn’t.”

You sat up and looked sharply at him. “What?! Why?!”

“Now that, I really can’t tell you,” he said. “I’ve got something in mind for that night.”

“A surprise?” you asked, curiosity piqued. “What is it?”

“Well, it wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, would it?” he returned.

He sat up too and pressed his lips to your temple. Then he sighed again. Your eyes searched his face. You saw in his eyes a deep sadness. It had come on so suddenly, it frightened you.

“I think Daniel’s right,” he said. “I think we should...call it a day.”

Once again, tears filled your eyes.

“Is that really what you want?” you whimpered. 

He looked at you, took in your tearful face, and he pulled you into his arms.

“Of course it’s not,” he said. “I just don’t want you to miss out on your rightful chance. I care about you too much, and if being without me is better for you -”

“Stop it,” you sighed and tugged yourself away from him. “Gwilym, you either want to be with me or not. Which is it?”

“I want to be with you,” he answered without hesitation. “It’s just that -”

“No, listen to me,” you said. “It doesn’t matter if we break up. She still heard what she heard, and so did Dan. We can get through this as a couple or separate and still have the same problem.”

He looked thoughtfully at the floor.

“I suppose you’re right,” he said. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have considered it.”

You offered a watery smile. “It’s alright. Just...fuck, Gwil. What are we going to do?”

“So now you’re on board to do something?” he teased.

“Yes!” you said, perking up. “Edith can’t do this. She can’t take my shows away from me and she can’t take you away from me.”

“I admire your conviction, darling,” he said with a soft smile.

“Well, she can’t,” you repeated stubbornly. 

His heart swelled as he looked at your determined face.

“You’re so cute,” he said, cupping your cheek. You closed your eyes to his touch. “I love you.”

Your eyes snapped open to meet Gwilym’s. His were wide, frightened, as if he’d just told you something terrible instead of perhaps the most wonderful thing you’d ever heard in your life.

“You...you love me?”

Gwilym took a deep breath, relaxing his face. He looked at you. This time with strength and confidence.

“Yes, Y/N,” he said. “That’s where my heart is. I love you.”

A smile spread slowly across your face as he said it again.

“I love you too,” you replied. “So, so much.”

He grinned. Then pulled you in for another kiss. It was soft and tender and expressive. Everything that reflected the moment. Your heart felt full. This was so right.

“I love you,” he said again as you parted. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you giggled.

“Because I love you, I’m not going to let Edith have this,” he said, getting to his feet. “I’m going to restore your nights to you and go to the Dean’s office myself.”

Panic shot through you.

“No!” you cried. “They’ll fire you!”

“So what?” he returned. “I’ll tell them it was me, and you shouldn’t be punished.”

“If you’re going to lie, it might as well be a flat out denial,” you pointed out. “Let’s face it, I came on to you. I think we should let her go to the Dean’s office and then deny when there’s questions.”

“It is her word against ours,” he said.

“Oh, fuck,” you sighed. 

“What?”

“I forgot about Dan,” you said. “He heard us too. She’s got another witness.”

“Shit,” he muttered.

A beat passed as you both pondered.

“Y/N, please let me do the honorable thing,” he said. “Let me take the fall for this so you don’t have to lose.”

You bottom lip quivered. “But then you’ll leave…”

“It won’t be forever,” he said. “I’ll stay in New York until you’re done and then we’ll figure it out. Together.”

“I can’t let you,” you told him. “I can’t let you take this alone.”

“Please,” he said again. “Let me do this for you.”

A tear slid down your cheek. Any more ups and downs and you were sure your head would literally be spinning.

“We don’t have to decide tonight,” you said. “I’m so tired. Can’t we just lay down and forget about all of it? We love each other, we should be celebrating.”

He smiled gently.

“You’re right,” he said. “I’ll order some champagne and then we’ll just relax. It’s been a long day.”

“You’re the best,”  you told him.

He did order champagne and some dinner from room service. Together, you ate, took a bath, and then settled into bed and watched some trashy reality TV show. For a couple hours, all thoughts of Edith, the show, and anything else were null and void. You were in love with Gwilym, and he loved you right back. Despite everything going on, you were completely and totally happy.

On Thursday, when you arrived early, Edith and Gwilym were already there. He was speaking calmly to her but she looked furious. Her eyes flashed toward you when you walked through the door. She stormed toward you.

“Just because you’re fucking the professor, you think you can get whatever you want,” she spat. Literally. She was so close to you, you felt drops of saliva on your face. “Well, I’ll get rid of you right now!”

“Oh, shut up,” you replied, rolling your eyes. “I got the part of Esther before Gwilym was even here.”

She stamped her foot and then whipped around to face Gwilym again.

“I’m going to the Dean’s office right now!” she shouted. “You’ll both be out of here!”

“Go then!” you yelled back.

She swept out of the auditorium, trying to slam the door behind her, but it was too slow and it clicked shut softly. When she was well away, you jogged over to Gwilym.

“What do you want to do?” you asked frantically.

He stared at the spot where Edith disappeared.

“I want to keep teaching,” he admitted. “I want to stay with you.”

“So, we lie?” you wondered.

He nodded and looked at you. “We lie.”

You sat in anxiety for the remainder of the ten minutes until the rest of the class started showing up. Gwilym started to go on with class as usual, starting with attendance, when suddenly, Edith burst back into the auditorium. You would have rolled your eyes at her dramatics if it weren’t for the three people following her: Dr. Curtis, the head of the department; Dr. Dragel, the Dean of Students; and Sheri Peacock, the Chancellor.

Gwilym glanced at you before turning to his old teacher.

“Dr. Curtis,” he said. “To what do I owe the pleasure of our guests?”

“It’s very serious, Gwilym,” Dr. Curtis replied. “Miss Bernard here has made an...an  accusation.”

“What sort of accusation?” Gwilym asked.

God, he was good. If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought him genuinely confused.

“About you and Y/N,” Edith said. “You’re sleeping together!”

The whole class turned eyes on you and Sloan gasped loudly next to you. Andrew was staring daggers into your left side. Gwilym blinked and his mouth dropped. You wanted to disappear into your chair. You didn't think she’d do this in front of the whole class.

“I - are you joking?!” he cried. “That’s ridiculous!”

“It is not a joke, Mr. Lee,” said Dr. Dragel. He was a stern man who was not very popular with the student body because of his strictness. “This sort of accusation is no laughing matter. She claims she heard the act taking place in Dr. Bennett’s office.”

The whole class was whispering now, a wave of shock going through them. Sloan grabbed your arm and leaned into your ear.

“Is it true?” she hissed.

You gave a curt nod, barely moving at all, and only after ensuring that the three upper faculty members had their back to you. Sloan glared fiercely at you.

“We should discuss this in private,” Dr. Curtis said. “There are dressing rooms backstage where we won’t cause so much commotion.”

He scanned the crowd and found you.

“Y/N, come with us, please,” he said.

You stood up, feeling every person’s eyes on you as you shimmied down the row and into the aisle. The murmurs of everyone were driving you crazy. You couldn’t hear what they were saying, but you guessed the general idea. They were discussing favoritism and scandal. You clearly heard the word “slut” from someone a row in front of you.

Putting your head down, you followed the faculty members and Edith to the dressing room. The same one where Gwil had delivered the horrible news to you earlier that week. Chancellor Peacock and Dr. Dragel looked between you and Gwilym as Dr. Curtis closed the door.

“Well, Miss Y/L/N,” said Chancellor Peacock. “Is it true? Are you and Mr. Lee in a relationship?”

“No!” you insisted. “Edith’s been jealous of me all semester, she’s making this up!”

“Don’t lie, I heard you!” Edith interjected.

“Miss Bernard, please,” said Dr. Dragel. “We’ve heard your side of the story, now we need to hear theirs.”

“I don’t know what she heard - if she heard anything at all,” you said. “But I don’t go to office hours ever. I don’t need to. This class has only one grade and it’s the show.”

“Why would Miss Bernard accuse you of something like this?” wondered Chancellor Peacock.

“Edith’s ambitious and jealous,” you said. “She really wanted my part. Not to mention, she’s been hitting on Gwilym all semester. Everyone in class will tell you that. I guess it was because she was upset I got more attention from him than she did.”

“Mr. Lee, anything to say?” Dr. Dragel asked, turning to Gwilym.

“Y/N is right, Edith has made several advances, all of which I’ve turned down,” he said. “I don’t want to say she’s a liar, but I can’t speak to what she heard that day.”

“Were you...watching pornography or something?” Dr. Dragel pressed.

“What? God, no!” Gwilym answered. “That office doesn’t even belong to me. I wouldn’t dream of doing something like that.”

Chancellor Peacock looked at Edith. “Is it true you made advances toward Gwilym?”

Edith’s face went pink. “Well - I - yes, I did,” she admitted. “But I stopped after a while because he was so clearly into Y/N.”

“Was it clear?” Dr. Curtis spoke up. “Y/N is the star of the show, it’s natural for the director to spend extra time with her. In all my rehearsals with you, I’ve never noticed anything other than professionalism from both of you. Edith on the other hand, I did see being flirtatious.”

“And you didn’t say anything?” Dr. Dragel snapped.

“Well, I expected the girls to like him,” Dr. Curtis said. “Look at him! It didn’t seem very serious, so I let it go.”

“Let me get this straight,” Chancellor Peacock said. “Edith has been flirting with Gwilym consistently over the semester. She wanted Y/N’s role from the start. Y/N got more attention from Gwilym. Now, just two weeks before the show opens, she’s come to us with a claim of an inappropriate relationship between Y/N and Gwilym that no one else can corroborate. Is that the situation here?”

“Yes,” you and Gwilym said in unison then exchanged a playful smile.

“Well, then,” Dr. Dragel said. “I think it’s perfectly clear what’s going on.”

“Hold on, I have another witness!” Edith said desperately. “Daniel was with me when I heard them. He heard it too.”

Your stomach dropped. Dr. Curtis left the room to fetch Daniel and get his statement on things. Your heart pounded. Would Daniel lie? Would he defend what Edith said? He told you he didn’t agree with her, but he was already on academic probation. If he lied now, and was found out, he could be suspended from the school.

You looked at Gwilym, willing him to look back at you, only he didn’t. He couldn’t really. It would be too obvious now. Your hand itched to clasp his for comfort. If this was the moment you went down together, you needed his support. Only, you couldn’t. Everything hinged on what Daniel might say. When the door opened, it startled you.

“Okay, Mr. Snow,” said Dr. Dragel. “Here’s what we’ve heard.”

He went over everything again. What Edith said, what you and Gwilym said, and all the information. Daniel listened, not looking at anyone, his focus solely on Dr. Dragel.

“So,” Dr. Dragel wrapped up. “Did you hear them...uh...well - did you hear them -”

“Bangin’?” Daniel finished.

Dr. Dragel flushed. You fought back a brutal urge to throttle your ex boyfriend.

Chancellor Peacock interjected. “Did you hear them having intercourse in the office?”

“Nope,” he said with a shrug. “I don’t know what she’s talking about.”

Edith’s mouth dropped. Yours almost did too, but you couldn’t look shocked. You looked relieved instead, which was also something you were feeling.

“We went to his office so Edith could ask to play Esther for one night,” Daniel went on. “Gwilym said no. That was that.”

Gwilym sighed with relief. You did the same.

“Well, I think this makes things perfectly clear,” said Dr. Curtis, glaring at Edith. “You, young lady, will be -”

Guilt washed over you. Edith wasn’t lying, and as angry as you were with her, she didn’t deserve to be punished.

“Dr. Curtis,” you said, interrupting. “Please don’t punish Edith. I know her actions were drastic, but jealousy is a complicated emotion. I don’t want anything to happen to her.”

“Miss Y/L/N, this is a serious thing she accused a member of our faculty of,” Dr. Dragel said. “And quite frankly, any disciplinary action is not up to you.”

“I agree with Y/N,” Gwilym added. “It was likely a misunderstanding. Something she thought she heard, but didn’t. Besides, it’s not like I’m a permanent member of faculty.”

“Permanent or otherwise,” Dr. Dragel went on. “To falsely accuse someone of taking advantage of a student makes cases like these all the harder for real victims of such offenses. It isn’t right.”

You opened your mouth to protest again, seeing the anguish on Edith’s face, but Chancellor Peacock stepped forward.

“Dr. Dragel, Dr. Curtis, and I will deal with Edith now,” she said. “The rest of you may go.”

“But -”

“Y/N, we must go,” Gwilym cut across you.

He led you and Daniel back out, and all three of you went to the next dressing room on the other side of the stage. You popped in and closed the door.

“Thank you!” you cried, throwing yourself into Daniel’s arms. “Thank you so much!”

“No problem,” he returned. “You can owe me one.”

“I owe you a thousand,” you said, pulling back and looking at him.

“Why stand up for Edith, though?” he asked.

“Because she wasn’t actually lying,” you replied. “I felt kinda bad.”

Daniel laughed. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Really, Daniel, thank you,” Gwilym added, extending his hand.

Daniel shook it. “Really, it’s nothing. The situation is all kinds of fucked, but I thought you guys deserved a chance.”

He looked at you and remembered how you’d exclaimed your love for Gwilym. He would never tell you so, but that was what convinced him to lie for you.

“It means a great deal,” Gwilym said. “Now, I’ve got to go tell the class what happened so they don’t get carried away.”

“Oh, yeah, pretty sure Mary and Leon already started a rumor that Y/N is pregnant,” Daniel said.

Gwilym sighed. “Oh, God. I might be too late.”

You chuckled as Gwilym kissed you swiftly on the cheek and went out. You looked at Daniel.

“Seriously, Dan, if there’s anything I can do for you,” you said. “Let me know.”

He looked at the floor and toed the ground with his boot. “Well...there is one thing.”

“Anything!” you reminded him.

“D’you…” he trailed off. “Ah, nevermind, it’s stupid.”

You took his arm before he could leave.

“Dan, just tell me,” you said.

He sighed. “Do you know if Andrew is into guys at all?”

You blinked, absolutely stunned.

“A-are you into guys?” you questioned.

“Yeah…” he said. “Well, mostly the one guy. But he’s so hung up on you and I dunno how he feels about...y’know…”

You smiled. “To answer your question, yes, Andrew is also into guys. And I think he’s mad enough at me now to be over me.”

Daniel chuckled. “Alright. Thanks, Y/N.”

“If you’re gonna go for Andrew, you better not cheat on him,” you warned.

“I won’t,” he said with a laugh. “Promise.”

You went out together to the auditorium.

“...so please forget what you heard,” Gwilym was finishing up. “It was all a misunderstanding.”

“So, you and Y/N aren’t sleeping together?” asked Leon.

“No, we’re not,” Gwilym said.

Your eyes found Andrew and Sloan. Both of them were glowering at you. You knew they were mad, and you were pretty sure you understood why. You just hoped they could understand too.

#gwilym lee #gwilym lee x reader #gwilym lee imagine #gwilym lee x you #BoRhap #BoRhap cast #borhap boys #borhap imagine #borhap cast imagine #borhap cast x reader #borhap boys imagine #borhap boys x reader #bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody imagine #Queen #Brian May #brian may x reader #brian may imagine #brian may x you #soft in love series

[b1oodpink]

if you want to grow and change, then why do you keep posting about all your issues? it’s always the same pattern. sorry but I genuinely used to follow you bc of ur art work, but sometimes your posts are so self deprecating that it’s suffocating. your parents, hair, ED, friends, again and again. i think you’re taking my words the wrong way, but what im trying to say is that this self deprecation is so toxic for everyone, including yourself. it seems pick me-ish or “i’m going through worse!!”

i hear you. this will be my last response, to the other messages as well. 

i understand the way you view my posts as self deprecating, i understand its a bummer to read and you can unfollow if anything makes you uncomfortable, but i think alot of assumptions are being made. i really don’t have to explain myself, its just i don’t like the misunderstanding thats going on. i used to post alottt more ‘woe is me im sad’ things on tumblr. its just something ive learned to do from watching other ppl on the internet do it. ive cut down alot, and im more concious about how my posts are gonna make others feel. i know its not a coping mechanism to just shout into the void about my problems. i know theres a difference between talking about my struggles and wallowing in it. im a human being, i have alot to work on still.

but sometimes in vulnerable moments, i want to express how im feeling just through a post or two. i know i have friends to talk to and others i can reach out to, but being honest with ppl in my life is something im working on, and its not easy. 

also, i dont think you know anything about the circumstances i have around seeing my one friend on a picnic. ive gotten my covid test, its negative. im going to get tested regularly because I have to go on campus sometimes. ive been isolated and social distancing for the entirety of quarantine unless i needed to go out. and im allowed to give myself a breather safely. when we hang out, which is like, once a month, we wear masks, we’re outside, and we avoid all other people. in this pandemic, im allowed to find an ounce of joy where i can and embrace it. im allowed to do what i need to survive. you do too

lastly, when i make posts about my feelings, i am no way suggesting i have it worse. im only talking about my own personal experience, that does not encompass everyones experience, and voicing it doesn’t make me self centered or naive to anyone elses pain. to make an assumption/jump to a conclusion like that, is on you. no one on this site knows my entire life. you dont know my lowest moments, what ive had to overcome, and what i still struggle with, even if you do see the posts i make. 

the things you’re informing me about with these messages, isnt something i dont know or havent thought about. im fully aware that sometimes i can just be stuck in sadness or desperation, and i cant think positively. i also think these moments are allowed as well, for everyone. of course it can’t be the ONLY coping mechanism, and it certainly isnt for me. im aware at times that i’m doing the best I can in the moment, AND i can do alot better. i CAN be coping better. at the end of the day, im simply doing what i need to do to survive in the moment. sometimes thats just making a dumb tumblr text post to get something off my chest. other times its talking to a friend. sometimes its an unhealthy coping mechanism. most times its just staying quiet about it. 

anyways thats all 

#Anonymous

[fightmewiatch]

Breathe

Pairing: Forrest Bondurant (Lawless) x Reader

Prompts: “Me and the boys will handle it.” & “Don’t shut me out.”

          Franklin had always been home, felt comfortable to you. It was like a second skin, didn’t matter what time of day it was, or how many people were around. You were always happy to fix your dress, slip into your shoes, and make your way into the masses, whenever it was needed. Even after you started working for the Bondurants, you liked those trips into town, hitching a ride in with Jack in the old jalopy they used for transporting, and walking to and from the shop while he did whatever it is he needed to do. 

         Forrest was your favorite, not that you would ever say so. He looked so intimidating and spoke so little so gruffly, that most people were genuinely afraid of him. But all you saw was a bear of a man, soft, with a smile you’d kill to see more than in tiny flashes in the mirror. He never spoke too much, no more than he had to, but he seemed content listening if you started talking. You tried not to ramble, but you felt like you needed to fill the silence when the place was void of customers. 

         He’d pull you out from behind the bar a time or two a week, low voice rumbling out the things he needed you to pick up, pressing the money into your hand as he led you to the porch where Jack was waiting. He was gentle, and sweet, something you were sure he’d scoff at if you ever openly admitted it. 

         You squeezed his arm, thanked him for the money and promised you’d be back soon, that you’d finish up stuff behind the bar when you got back. He’d grunt an okay, and wait until the truck was rumbling off down the road before going back inside, like he was making sure you headed off alright. It made you feel warm and fuzzy, silly smile on your lips as you watched the trees pass by the window. 

         This trip wasn’t the first time Howard was the one to run you to town to pick things up, but it was the first time he wasn’t where he was supposed to be to pick you up and take you back. You lingered, pacing a bit around the spot, certain he must be coming - Forrest wouldn’t stand for him to simply forget about you, and he knew it - but with the sun slipping away, you realized he must have done something stupid, and wasn’t coming. 

         It was too damn dark by the time you reached the station, but it didn’t stop Forrest from seeing you as you were, your hands shaking as you clutched to the bag from the shop, your shoes missing, feet bleeding across the rocks of the road. 

         Jack burst out through the front doors with a single shout from Forrest, looking around in confusion for a brief second before his eyes fell on you, and he leapt from the steps to get you, hurry you inside. 

         None of them had ever seen you so quiet, your hands trembling, eyes unfocused like you couldn’t quite see them. Forrest knew his voice was getting through, your eyes shifting but not really looking, when he murmured your name, and got you into a chair. Your skin was ashen, tinged pink along your chin and your cheek where the skin was broken and had bled. 

“Sweetheart, don’t shut me out. What happened?” he rumbled, his large hand moving slowly up to tilt your head and look at the wounds on your face. 

“Why’d she walk up, Forrest? I thought Howard took her to town.” Forrest’s eyes darted towards his brother, brow pulled down, before he sighed, glancing to the door.

“Go check out back. Find ‘im.” 

         After depositing a bowl of water and a rag at the table, Jack was out the door, hollering for Howard. You winced, just a little, but beyond that, you didn’t move, not until Forrest stopped asking what happened and tried to get the blood off your face. The moment the rag touched your skin, you blinked, eyes filling and dripping with tears, a soft, broken gasp falling off your lips. Immediately, he dropped the rag, warm hand curling around your hand as it rested on the table.

“Darlin.” 

         He never, ever wanted to see that empty, haunted look again, as you finally, finally turned your eyes to meet his. He didn’t have to ask again, he knew what happened. But the words, soft and shaken, stuttered and broken, dripped into the room, as you struggled to tell him, finally whimpering and dipping your chin against your chest. 

“The Rocklin boys…” you whispered, barely audible, but oh, it rang so loud in his ears. His eyes darted up as the door swung open, caught before it could slam by Jack’s hand as he shoved a clearly drunk Howard a few steps forward.

“You was supposed to pick ‘er up, Howard. Where were you?” He hesitated, but it was enough for Forrest to grunt, and jab his hand against his brother’s chest. “Get the truck, Jack.”

“Sorry, Forrest,” Howard winced, but he shook his head, pointing towards you trembling at the table, your hands now covering your face.

“Sorry ain’t fixin’ that, Howard. Go get Cricket, bring ‘im here.” Howard glanced towards you, but he was quick to duck out the door behind Jack. 

         Clearing his throat, Forrest rounded the bar, moving a box onto the counter, and grabbing a glass of water, leaving the box in place but bringing the glass out towards you.

“Breathe, darlin. Drink this.”

“I’m so sorry, Forrest,” you whispered against your hands, but he grunted, shaking his head.

“Ain’t nothin’ t’apologize for. Drink this. Nothin’ else is gonna happen...me and the boys will handle it.” You whimpered, but nodded, reluctantly lowering your hands. Forrest may have been a man of few words, but the way you looked in that moment was permanently etched in his memory now, and he didn’t need to say anything for you to know he was going to ensure you had nothing to worry about.

         Cricket stayed with you, instructed carefully to use what was in the box if it was necessary, before Forrest rounded the table to check on you one last time, and left with Howard and Jack back into town. You wanted to scream, you wanted to cry, you wanted to hit something and you wanted to collapse to the floor, but you felt it was what those bastards would love for you to do. Instead, you swallowed, hard, choked down the water Forrest insisted you drink, before asking Cricket to bring the box and stand at the bottom of the stairs so you could change up in the spare room. The boy was the farthest thing from threatening, and despite flinching at Jack’s help when he came out to get you inside, you reached for Cricket to help him to the steps, dragging a chair over for him to sit in, before heading up the steps. 

         You were curled up on the steps, wrapped up in slacks and shirt you stole out of Forrest’s things, too unsteady to wear your dress, as Cricket cleaned up your torn up feet. He was finishing wrapping them for you when the rumble of the truck sounded outside, your head snapping up in concern until you saw Jack jogging up the steps, Howard and Forrest behind him. 

“Thanks, Cricket,” you spoke softly, as he nodded, and dragged himself to his feet. “I appreciate it.”

“Glad to help,” he chuckled, smiling, before turning around and moving towards Forrest. 

         Once you were on your feet, steadier but still shaky, Jack and Cricket left, and Howard headed off, too, leaving you alone in the room with Forrest as he slipped behind the bar, his hands dipping into the water basin. 

“Forrest?” you murmured, limping towards him, catching sight of the water growing dark before he grabbed a rag to dry his hands. “...what’d you do?”

“We took care of things,” he replied, tossing the rag down, and turning to see you, his eyes immediately falling to the clothes you were wearing. 

“I’m sorry...I didn’t feel good in my clothes,” you admitted, looking down at yourself.

“Hm…’s’okay. Looks better on you.” You looked up, surprised, as he came back around the bar towards you. He was quick, blowing out the last few lanterns on the tables, the rest of the lights already turned off except for the upstairs, before coming to you. 

“...you don’t mind?”

“Told you. Looks better on you. Come on,” he rumbled, extending an arm towards you. It took you a moment to realize he was offering help up the steps, something you ordinarily would have declined, but, with the ache in your feet very apparent, you nodded, and accepted. 

         Sleep didn’t come easy, as you curled up in the spare bed and tried to find it. You were sure you spent hours staring at the wall, despite the bone-deep exhaustion, but you didn’t really have it in you to care, knowing it would come in time. When it finally did, it didn’t last, as you woke up sobbing and thrashing, gasping for breath to the sounds of your name. 

         If you had been more aware, you would have been ashamed of how long it took you to recognize that familiar, comforting rumble, as Forrest waved his hand out the door before lowering himself onto the bed beside you. 

“Darlin’, you awake?” Gasping, you curled forward, pulling your knees to your chest and covering your face.

“I’m sorry...I’m so sorry,” you whimpered, body shaking once again. 

“Ain’t got nothin’ to apologize for,” he promised, twisting to look at you, prompting you to tilt your pale, tear-stained face towards him. 

“...why’d you do that for me?” you asked softly, blinking away tears again. Forrest stared back at you, face blank like always, before he clicked his tongue and looked towards the window, a soft sound rumbling from his throat. 

“No one has the right t’make you be afraid of what you love,” he replied, shaking his head. “Never seen you that scared...Rocklin boys ain’t gonna bother you no more.” You wanted to be surprised that he read you so well, but you knew it was something he did, something that came with the territory he was in, the lifestyle he had, so instead, you reached out a trembling hand, fingers brushing his arm. 

“Thank you.” He glanced down, and hummed soft, gravelly, and nodded. 

“Don’t gotta sleep...but try t’rest, ‘kay?” he asked, already climbing to his feet without waiting for your answer.

“Forrest.” He stopped a few steps towards the door, turning back to see you. “...will you stay a while? I...I’m...I’m scared to close my eyes.”

         With a glance over his shoulder to the hall, Forrest grunted, nodding, and motioned for you to hold on, before disappearing into the hall. When he returned, he lit the lantern beside your bed, dropping the match into the ashtray, and flicked off the other lights, resting his weight on the bed by you. You lingered a moment, before leaning over, pressing a chaste kiss to his scratchy cheek.

“Thank you,” you spoke softly, sniffling against the pillow. 

“Every time, darlin.”

#forrest bondurant #forrest bondurant x reader #lawless #my fic

[pathogenic]

Y’all are getting tunes whether you ask for them or not

1. A song that reminds you of your childhood

Orinoco Flow - Enya

One of my favorite songs as a kid. I still listen to it because I love the otherworldly feel it has to it. Plus now I associate it with Myst because the instrumentals are a lot like the Myst classic soundtrack. That matters because the Myst series is the only video game my mom plays and I have fond memories watching her play.

2. A song to sleep to

Bad Wings - The Glitch Mob

The Glitch Mob has a lot of tracks I find to be rather soothing. This one especially because it is slower than most of their other tracks. I actually found this one when I was playing my bed time Pandora radio like back in ohhhh 2014 I believe? So it works.

3. A song that your best friend loves

We’ll roll with Isa over @ aiiizawa 

Pay No Mind (Feat. Passion Pit) - Madeon

Feeling is pretty mutual on how much this song rocks. It is nice, bouncy, and the song just makes you feel warm all over.

4. A song that hypes you the fuck up

Never Gonna Stop (The Red, Red Kroovy) - Rob Zombie

I will not be surprised when I get a speeding ticket due to this song. It’s just that good and I will never not go apeshit to it. I also love the bass in the intro, it sounds fucking killer in almost every car/truck I’ve been in.

5. A song you like to daydream to

Here Comes the Rain Again - Eurythmics

It’s soothing, it has a sweet vibe to it, it also has a longing feel to it. It works for almost every ship of mine, it instantly puts me in a mood. What else could I want from it?

6. A song that’s on at least 3 of your playlists

Bite Me! (Chrom Remix) - Hocico

This one was recommended to me by a very dear friend and I just love it. It’s on my personal playlist, a playlist for a friend’s character, and my general VtM playlist. It’s just a really cool song.

7. A song that you love from a genre you don’t usually like

Train, Train - Blackfoot

Rockabilly is something I want to get more into, but I really am so choosy. This was one given to me by my Dad and he was absolutely right to. The song fucking slaps.

8. A song that you liked when you where 10 that still slaps

Imaginary - Evanescence

I’ve loved Evanescence since I was a little one and I’m still right on that. Amy Lee’s voice is amazing and I still listen to her very often. This one was my favorite as a kid because on the Fallen album, you go from Tourniquet with it’s full orchestra ending and then it drops to this single violin in the intro and that rocked. I was always so excited to hear it as a kid. I also loved shouting “FLOWERS”. Didn’t really know any of the other lyrics until much later.

9. A song that makes you want to go on an adventure

Uncharted Worlds - Sam Hulick

Is it cheating to pull from a game OST? Either way, this song always makes me want to explore the galaxy. Lucky bastards in ME.

10. A song you’d want to dance with your partner to ( or future partner )

Ragtime Cat (Ft. Lilja Bloom) - Parov Stelar

I’ll take my L on this one, but I do genuinely love electro swing, I love swing dancing, and this one feels like the perfect one to dance with. It has a fun tempo and I also love the jump between new and old in this song.

11. A song to stomp around and pout to

Happy? - Mudvayne

I mean really, what else do you need beyond a passive-aggressive nu metal song to be angry to?

12. A song to listen to whilst you lie in a meadow

Wheel in the Sky - Journey

Sounds like the perfect place to contemplate, and Wheel in the Sky is the perfect song to do that with. Think about the future and fate while enjoying a good tune by Journey.

13. A song that reflects your views on love

Sparks - Faith and the Muse

Kind of my go to love song? There is a reverence and a hesitance in this song that really speaks to me. Love is scary, but it’s alive and well.

14. A song to sing to the sun

I could have been cheeky and picked The Sun by Gothminister, but I won’t

Honestly, I’m not sure how to read this, so take something that is definitely a daytime tune with Song 2 - Blur

Not a “sun” song, but I always associate it with the kind of sports I like and that as close as I can get.

15. A song you like that sounds like its on the soundtrack to an indie coming of age film

Volcanic Jig - Natalie MacMaster

Feels like the kind of light, bouncy stuff they would play in an opening scene to me.

16. A song that you like that romanticises being a teenager

Electricity - Red City Radio

At least part of it. It has a growing up with someone you like kind of feel to it and part of that would have to be being a teen. Beyond that, evidently nothing I listen to matches this either.

17. A song that makes you want to grab your friends jump up and down dancing and screaming the lyrics

Devil’s Dance Floor - Flogging Molly

Mostly because it’s just the song stuck in my head really bad, but that chorus, it sounds so fun to sing!!

18. A song that you like that the lyrics are just so beautiful they’re practically poetry

Oh I regret using Sparks already

Love You To Life - Grace Jones

Might as well be a poem really! Just take a listen and enjoy.

19. A song that you can imagine listening to in an abandoned church ( if it isn’t hozier im judging you, but whatever )

Listen to more artists

Sunday Morning - The Bolshoi

I would pick this one for a number of reasons - first off, it has a good sort of distant feeling to me that matches an abandoned place, second it has to deal with negative feelings with Christianity, which would match my mood best while standing in a church, abandoned or not.

20. A song from the soundtrack of a film that you like so much after the film finished you immediately looked for it

Warrior Falls -  Ludwig Göransson

Yes, it is a Marvel movie soundtrack, but consider - The drums in the Black Panther Soundtrack rock. Now to be honest, this is like one of the only movie soundtracks I have saved. If we went video game, then god it might have to be

Assassin’s Creed IV Black Flag Main Theme - Brian Tyler

AC soundtracks in general tend to fucking rock, but this theme is so powerful every time I hear it, I’m fuckin ready to be a pirate.

21. A song for when the sun has gone down and you are feeling absolutely buck-wild with exhilaration!

Augen Auf - Oomph!

I have so many songs that work for this. This is normally when I listen to music so I have many Manic Energy Songs. 

22. A song that makes you feel like you’re strolling through Ancient Greece living your best life

Very specific indeed, but perhaps Antvmnos - Eluveite ?

Tell me it wouldn’t be perfect to stroll a Greek shoreline with.

23. A song that when you listen to it you’re transported to a liminal space, time is pointless and you must sit and wallow in the void that remains

Black Car - Beach House

I listen to this song and my mind is instantly somewhere indescribable and unknowable and all I can do is listen, relax, and go through it. It’s very pleasant to me.

24. A song to listen to on a long drive when you have the really strong urge to keep driving until you find somewhere to start a new life (preferably a europian city whose language you don’t speak)

Perhaps not that exactly, but a song that makes me want to be a weary traveler seeing sights most can only dream of is Far Horizons - Jeremy Soule

[voidsfanficfortress]

The Only One♡

The prisions in Ceuta were big,but most of it seemed to be reception ..., you lean into the counter.

-I came here to visit someone- you say to the police Officer-His name is Ryad All-Hassar Ramírez-

The police Man looks at you with his Brows arched.

-You came to visit that Cabron?-He asks you, genuenly impressed, as you just glare daggers at him- okay, ill tell him youre coming, please do be careful, that son of a bitch is smug as hell-

You nodd and the policemen escort you to a room with tables,when you arrive he is there looking away, How do you break it to him that Orange is not his color?.

-Hey Ryad,its been a while- You say sitting infront of him- I dont think youll recognize me, I was a teen when we first met-

He looks up ,his brown eyes are just how you remember them, he sees you, and cant help but notice the polite smile on your face, a genuine one.

-Por Dios,its you..Man look how much youve grown- You can sense a bit of sascarm there,Like he doesnt like being visited. But you ignore it.

You two met a long time ago, You were around your teen years when it happened.

Jackal doesnt remember how did dokkaebi convice him to go to that event, Or even if it was indeed dokkaebi who changed his mind about even setting foot there, but in the end he was there, he sat on one of the Chairs on the stage,Harry was saying a couple of words, and then his turn came to talk a bit, everything was going well until...

-Fuck me papi!-

Someone screams from the back of the crowd, and he stops, looks around the crowd and blushes, Tachanka steps in and quickly and starts talking, ripping the microphone away from jackals hand.

After that fiasco , he decides to go for a walk, everyone seemed so happy, so illusioned with the event,people laughing, talking about other operators, and buying merch related to them, he seemed alone, with no genuine fans who dont just thirst about him but do actually care for him, he is all alone except--

-Perdoname (excuse me) are you jackal-

The teen girl looks shy about it, jackal finds it somehow cute, the only teenage girl who was polite enough.

-Why yes I am indeed,and you are?-

His tone seemed friendly and polite, the girl seems to get out of her Shell and smiles.

-People..people call me G, I uh w was wondering if we could take a picture togheter?-

-Im sorry-Jackal says- Im not really comfortable with photos kid-

Ryad expects the kid to just go away and talk shit a obout him, instead, the teen perks up and looks up to him, And smiles so kind .

-its okay-The girl says- I dont like pics either-

-So, Why you were asking ?-

-Oh...I was kind of forced, b but! That doesnt mean I dont like you,I I do!-Jackal chuckles at the teens behaviour- I just, I dont like pics anyway, but before I go, There is something I want to say-Ryad for once, pays attention to what the girl says- One, the person who shouted that at you is a degenerate, Two, after all the things you lived Through and all the things you see in battle, you deserve this-

G gives him a brief hug, jackal can just feel the warmth that comes from that hug,the understanding, then she smiles, says goodbye and leaves.

-Goodbye mr Ramirez!, enjoy the event-and she rans away to her Group of Friends.

He smiles and turns away , Maybe he changed his mind about having at least one fan.

-I know you just want to go back to your cell and dont have anymore contact - she isnt wrong on that one- I want to leave you this-

She gives him a necklace, his brother's necklace, the one he sold a Long time ago for money, all well preserved, he opens the little sphere that hangs from it, there is his brother's photo.

He was about to say thank you, but.

-How did you find this?-

His anger builds up.

-I learnt from the best tracker in the world-

How dare she? How she dares to bring this back to him? Does she know the memories that this brings? The suffering?.

-Leave- Jackal says- Leave!-

No. Stop.

This is all wrong.

Please dont leave.

The woman quickly grabs her bag and goes away.

Then he goes back to his cell and night falls.

He cant sleep again , he looks at the ceiling, and then it hits him like truck.

Well, a thousand trucks.

She cared for him, she gave him that same smile that she gave him when they first met.

Full of compassion,kindness.understandment .

And he scared her away like he always does, he holds his head between his hands.

She isnt coming back,is she?.

《...》

Morning arrives and jackal is there, in bed,not even trying to cover his eyes from the light.

-Ramirez, you have a visit-

What?

He is escorted to the same room he was yesterday, and she was there, with two cups and a flask full of coffee.

She brought him coffee.

He smiles and sits infront of her.

-Hey ryad, we started with the wrong foot yesterday, coffee?-

He nodds quickly like a kid in a candy store.

Maybe...maybe there still was hope.

Maybe once he gets out of there he has a chance to rebuilt his life.

And this time hes not letting it slip away.

《...》

@laminath

Cabron: Son of a bitch.

This idea Came up from a voice call between @grain-crain-drain and me.

Sweet bittersweet ending!

-Void

#r6 jackal #ryad all-hassar Ramírez #rainbow six siege #rainbow 6 siege #r6

[xuune]

Dang mate, I gotta say that your art is some of the best I've ever seen and I always find myself on the edge of my feet staring at anything new you post cause I can't wait to look at it. Heck you deserve a whole lot more then nice comments. That's just all half of us can give you so we have to settle for that when we wanna like, shower you with glitter and shake your hand or something. Good gravy shaking your hand would be surreal. I love your art, can you tell? Lol.

my guy i cant even emphasize more on how i could tell this message was more than just 100% genuine, and it means a lot to me when i read these long messages that express so much wholeheartedness into it. i dont even know how to properly go in depth with how i felt about your message when i read it. like shit dude even if there was a possibility for you to shake my hand youd have to wait until i actually do tabling at conventions or some shit, and thats something i actually wanna do some day. maybe one day i would be able to meet some of you and talk or something idk. but even then im shit with talking with people since im just one of those people who usually dont have a lot to say unless theres actually something going that could keep our conversation rolling. not to mention, im really self conscious about the impressions i make on people so theres that lmao. 

as much as i want to convince myself or have myself understand that people do actually like the art i create, everything just goes on a full circle of doubt where i doubt my own skills and capabilities even when i do work on myself to improve. sometimes it doesnt seem like it since what i present here will not always be explicit with the thoughts i have since some of these things i believe is part of no one’s business to care about unless i wish to address it or just shout it to some void.

i wont always be able to tell what people on the other side of the screen is thinking, so with that too its just hard to convince myself that people enjoy the things i make (and more so the reasoning on why nice comments through inboxes just catch me “off guard”). this sounds selfish, even while im typing this right now, but just seeing nothing in terms of comments on the posts i create just doesnt have me believe that people actually like it. if the notes are just reblogs with no actual comments or thoughts mentioned in on it, then i just wont see what i created as having actual value (”value” being the feedback i get and the opinions expressed by the people that saw it). i will only see the number of notes as just a mere number, not as people explicitly showing me that they genuinely enjoyed the content. and yea, theres the things with ppl using tags and putting their comments through that and you could just look through those, but to me, comments added to reblogs, comments itself on the posts, and messages through inboxes or dms just seem more valuable in terms of feedback; its more straightforward and open. so when people actually directly say how they feel about my art, it puts it on a whole new level for me in a way. im pretty shit with explain this whole thing on how im perceiving it, but i hope you and others reading this get what i really mean with this. 

most of the time, i tend to find more value in seeing the feedback i get on tumblr than the ones i see on ig due to the fact that comments on tumblr are just so much more rare for me since tumblr’s system is based primarily on reblogging and tagging. sending something in through the inbox can be something intimidating for people, especially when theres no anonymous option, and i get that, but if i see a comment, then damn, thats just something that makes me go “woah, someone commented”. my surprise from that comment would just increase if the person commenting would mention further on how they felt about it. sometimes the more you mention just holds a lot of importance to the person reading it and has the person reading it deeply understand further on the feelings the person wants to express. i get the impression that some ppl would think that sending something less concise would be a bother for me, but it really isnt if you want to express more on how you enjoy my art and things like that. just talk to me fully if you want to do that even if it seems like my response to you isn’t long or just seems lacking in response to show equal reciprocation. im just pretty lackluster with words. 

to get this out of the way, and to just mentioning it: my choices of actions here, the way i interact here, will always be different compared to how things are on my ig. some of the things i say here will always stay here, and wont belong on or be mentioned on ig, and i wish for it to be that way. i feel more personal with the people i speak to here, and i enjoy that a lot. through the inbox system, people are being exclusively direct about their message thats intended to grab my attention, and i love that when its someone who wants to express their genuine feelings through giving a compliment. ig’s environment compared to tumblr is just entirely different, and its often because of the vibe from the audience/followers that gets created. comments that get put on a post in ig just makes it seem like the comments are much more for the broader audience viewing it, and that just kind of deprives the idea of sending more personal feedback towards the creator of the content where it is strictly direct. 

so yeah, often times its just harder for me to recognize when people are genuinely enjoying my stuff even when all the signs are there, but all those signs just dont give much of a meaning to it when no one is being explicit about it through words for me to read. its just the feeling that comes with it that makes everything more different about it. 

#answered asks

[jacktherph]

Hi, Jack! We are a new murder mystery roleplay inspired by A Series of Unfortunate Events with new plot twists and characters. We would love some feedback. May we please have an opinion? Please, feel free to take as much time as you need. Thank you so much! We really appreciate it!

hi there @unfortunate-rp​! i’m happy to give you an opinion. since you didn’t specify private, i will post this on my blog. feel free to ask me to take it down if that was a mistake.

NOTE: all opinions expressed here are mine, jack’s, belonging to jack. i make no claims to knowing what is best for every group – i only offer advice based on my experiences, what i’ve seen in the community, and my personal knowledge. no one person knows what is best for you or any group other than yourself; because you were the one who put all of this together in the first place. so take everything i say as a suggestion, and remember that you have accomplished so much!!

and if you have any questions, want feedback on something specific, or want elaborations on anything said in this opinion, don’t hesitate to message me!!

this isn’t just an opinion, it’s a shoutout and a rec!! any fans of the asoue book series &/or recent netflix adaptation will adore this rpg. it perfectly captures everything snicket was about from beginning to end and the skeletons are frankly fucking amazing. what a creative admin team!! 

start: 2.30 | pause: none | end: 2.58TOTAL: HERE 28 minutes to read all pages (please don’t take this as a measure of anything, I simply time myself and am a speed reader)

*spelling error on /uptown: Mureau Cinema -- Christmas

So the first thing I’m going to say before I go into the full details of each page and contents and such is that I have one big recommendation: finding a way to adjust your line height in your code. The common theme I ran into while reading all of your pages is that after a while my eyes would gloss over certain sentences because I thought I was reading each line but they were too bunched together. Because you have such beautiful pages with so much information to give to your members, this is super important. If you’d like me to see if I can find that part of your code for you, feel free to IM me at any time and I’ll be happy to help.

My first impression of everything is a big fat fucking WOW. From the pages to the graphics to even the way you word things I feel like I’ve been transported back to that dreadfully delightful macabre world Snicket created for me as a child. I don’t know if you’ve been given proper praise for that yet but if you haven’t you certainly deserve it. You have a functional and helpful theme that works for what you need from it and your design of everything is both simple and artistic at the same time. When you have a new acceptance posted the dual ember gifs make it feel like there’s a lot going on but it’s not consistent, with too many repeated or flashing gifs, and so there’s not anything you need to do to change that in my opinion. It just tends to happen with graphics that use the same images. Really though, please feel extremely accomplished about the tone and theme you set on your main. I’ve never gotten more of an impression of what an rpg is about by one glance than I do here.

Your Plot is astounding. Disregarding the fact that you wrote it just like Snicket, I think this is one of the most original fandom concepts I’ve seen in some time. This was the perfect story to be able to take away from the canon and still keep it within the realm of possibility. I’m actually really glad you did this so well because this way people can still have all of the fun of the storyline and plots and not have to worry about the possibility of “playing a canon character wrong” or trying to fit it into the canon of the books/show.

I’ll sort of go into all of your lore pages as a whole rather than go through every single page? Because the love and dedication you’ve taken to ensure potential members and your members have everything they need in order to work within the worldbuilding of your group. I can seriously appreciate that as an admin of a group with a ton of lore, myself. That you go into so much detail on the locations pages and everything about VFD, you make it so your main is the one-stop shop for information rather than asking people to go elsewhere like a wikia page and I’m gonna shout my praises to you for that!

So your Guidelines are something I’m a little iffy on -- and I’m gonna say this is honestly the only thing I really find debatable about your rpg. The very nature of the ASOUE series was about children being involved in all of the gruesome stuff that comes with being an adult; so in that I can see why you allow writers of any age. But you also have content warnings such as smut, violence, drugs, and etc. and state that the roleplay itself will have mature themes and contents. So that being said, I have two moral issues: allowing members under 18 and the playing of characters who are minors. Generally I’m against playing characters who are minors of any kind. That results in using FCs who are minors and yes, while they are celebrities, it gives the potential for undue associations with the child star. Have you considered possibly keeping children out of the RPG except for in the case of mentioned NPCs? Regarding the “members under 18” bit, honestly that one isn’t as much of a big deal so long as your members are tagging and using read-mores where and when needed, but i’ll include that it will deter a certain number of people from joining your group. I’m not telling you to change anything -- but these are things I think you should maybe think about and consider adding changes to?

Your Skeletons and Faceclaims are so widely wonderful and diverse. You have such a wide range of trans characters and I always look for that in RPGs. But you’re also extremely body positive and age positive as well. This is what the faceclaim page of every rpg should look like, so applause for you. I only looked at a few of your skeletons to get a feel for them, but from what I did look at each one is unique in their own way and you have done an impressive job weaving them in with not only one another but the story. Each one has an important role to play and none feel like they’re just there for any sort of token points. You must have put a lot of work into this and you admin/s need to recognize that this immense amount of creativity is brilliantly impressive.

Personally, I think all you need to do is link to your skeleton page with the filters, rather than having a whole page with links that bring people to the tags the filters divide by, but that is more of a suggestion and if you find what you have works for you then there’s nothing more to be said. As for the images on the skeleton page: you obviously make them fit better with the psd/texture, which I like, but some of them still stick out in their brightness. Maybe go back and look at them and dim some of them individually or try to get them with a matching color hue to make them seem a little more uniform?? But the distinction between npcs and skeletons with the monochrome is great.

Overall your graphics match very well!! Your character template is perfect for the vibe and the psd you have on your images ensures they all look very uniform and put-together. The sidebar gif on the homepage feels a little left out compared to the rest, though? I don’t know if you have a lot of history working with gif editing but either changing the size, adding the psd, or adding a little SOMETHING to it might make it seem a little less “floating on it’s own in a void” in your sidebar.

Your Applications, both of them, are very well thought out and you definitely ask for everything that I can see being necessary in this group. Some in the community are against fully fleshed out apps like this but those who see your group and see the effort in your applications should feel inspired with everything that they answer!! You even provide links for them in helping find occupations and such, and that’s going above and beyond. My one thing is…. Why are both applications on bright white backgrounds and not set as pages of your main? It’s just confusing to me, nothing big. And the white sort of startles me after looking at your darker-colored pages for such a long time.

My FAVORITE THING about your rpg: the complete-ness of it all. I genuinely cannot think of one thing I would like to see here, information or rpg-wise, that would help me as a potential member understand your rpg better. You obviously put so much work into everything here and I could not be more thrilled. As the story goes on you might add more pages or such but for an rpg that hasn’t opened yet (at the time I’m writing this) there is NOTHING that needs adding, in my opinion.

My LEAST FAVORITE THING about your rpg: I’m… struggling to find something, but I guess if I had to pick it would be the layout of your applications -- how they exist on a white page rather than within a page on your main. It’s just slightly jarring to go from all that darkness to a bright white page. Think about putting them as pages on your theme and honestly you’re good to go??

OVERALL this is probably one of the best examples of a put-together skeleton and bio rpg I’ve ever seen. Like, I don’t even know anything about the series beyond the show and I had to stop myself from joining while writing this opinion. Even if someone knows nothing about the fandom they could be coaxed to join after just taking a few minutes to look at everything you’ve put together and provided for people. You didn’t leave anything I could think of out and included more than I would have thought if I were the one putting this rpg together. The fact that you may have done this solo stuns me even more. This is an rpg everyone should check out because it has everything people are looking for: diversity, depth, a well-formed plot, and the potential to last for some time with the right cast and crew behind it.

Well fucking done.

Sincerely,Jack

#rph #rpc #rp opinion #skeleton rp #secrets rp #bio rp #shoutout #unfortunaterp #answered #rec #jack does rph things #opinion #unfortunate-rp