The Conversation
Final Part of The Interview [Part One] [Part Two] [Ao3]
Steve finishes putting on his boots, shoves a beanie on his head, and grabs his thermos of coffee before heading outside. Robin had texted when they left Pendleton so they should be arriving soon, and he wants to make sure the dogs stay clear of the driveway, and also finish some of the chores he is being lazy about. The mountain air is cold in February, and the snow is deep, but it's still warm for a winter day in Eastern Oregon.
His childhood house had been at the edge of a little forest. His current home is tucked away in the woods, trees for miles, and the nearest neighbor farther still than that. He's lived a lot of places, been able to see the whole of America almost, and in the process, he's learned that he'll always be a small-town boy. The real revelation is how at home he feels in this two-bedroom cabin sequestered away from any town at all. Sure, he's got to drive a little over half an hour to get to the nearest grocery store, but he's learned he likes that.
He's got 1600 acres of woods all to himself and the dogs. He's owned this property for almost four years, but recent events made him finally move out here. Originally, he'd bought it to make it as another flip project, but something in his gut told him to make it a vacation home / safe haven for his family instead. Robin, mainly, as a getaway from the LA life and overwhelming spotlight she'd started to face as her music career took off. He might be turning it into his permanent home and base of operations, but everyone knows they're still welcome.
Anyway, the day might be warm for winter, but the night won't be, so Steve sets his thermos on the top of the wooden railing of the porch and heads down the steps to the woodshed. The plan in the summer is to update the cabin, which includes adding central air and a good heating system, but until then, portable heaters are in the bedrooms and the wood stove gets the rest of the cabin. There's also plans to start the construction on the guest house. It's going to be a busy summer.
He replenishes the woodpile on the porch from the woodshed and debates chopping more but decides against it. That can be a tomorrow chore. Next is cleaning up the snow paths he's made previously. Doesn't want anyone falling on their ass on the way to the house, no matter how funny that'll be to watch. As usual, Pancake makes the task difficult because she wants to play with the snow shovel. Melody cries until he throws snow into the air by the shovel full for her to play in. Chowder, old man that he is, supervises from the porch, front paws hanging just off the top step.
It's rough going but he manages to complete the few chores, even with two dogs underfoot.
Steve is on the front porch, forearms holding his weight as he leans against the railing, thermos of coffee between his hands, taking in the afternoon sun and enjoying the silence when Dustin's work truck slides into the driveway. Almost literally, given the foot and a half of snow still on the ground. The driveway is long, okay. Steve's doesn't have enough time in his day to keep up with salting it all.
It'll be strange to see Eddie after all these years. He still can't believe Robin got him to come. When he'd asked how she did it, she brushed him off with an it's not important.
Speaking of Robin, she's the first person out of the truck, sliding out of the passenger seat and then cursing when she drops right into the snow. She shoots an accusatory look towards the cabin, and therefore Steve, like he placed the snow there himself, when the fault is Dustin, who has left the driver side with plenty of room between the truck and the snowbank.
Dustin gets out of the truck and Steve faintly hears him say this side, man, less snow before pushing his door closed and turning to brace himself as Pancake and Melody rush from the porch to circle like sharks, barely restraining themselves from jumping up. Chowder follows after slowly, taking his sweet time getting to Robin, his favorite human. Steve can't even be jealous about that because Robin is his favorite human, too.
The back driver side door opens, and he watches as Eddie Munson all but falls out of the truck. It's the least graceful anyone's looked getting out of the back of the truck and that's counting Chowder and his old man hips. Seeing Eddie again is- well, it's a lot of emotions all at once, but they're are all overshadowed at the moment by how Eddie looks... well, bad. His hair is longer than Steve's ever seen it, a little longer than mid-back length, but it looks like it hasn't seen a proper hair brush in a couple of days. Even from this distance Steve can see the bags under his eyes. He looks like he hasn't slept in days.
He pushes himself off the railing and meanders down the two steps, waiting for them to notice he's waiting. Robin trudges out of the snow berm and to the front of the truck, where Chowder is waiting patiently for his pets and kisses. Dustin has managed to get Melody to stop hopping in front of him so she can get her side scratches, and Pancake has realized there is a new, third person with a set of hands currently not petting her, and is circling Eddie, waiting for him to reach down and pet her but he just stands completely still, heading tracking her in her circles.
"She's friendly, I promise," Steve calls out, which makes Eddie's head snap up to look for the source of the voice. Well, everyone looks, but Eddie looks like he's seeing a ghost, which. Fair. Steve kind of feels the same way.
"Hello, Dingus," Robin calls as she stands from her crouched position, where she's been cuddling Chowder. As soon as she stands, he starts making his way back to the porch. "I have delivered one Edward Keaton Munson. You are not allowed to ask anything of me for, at minimum, a year."
"Steve! Why didn't you tell me you knew the Eddie Munson?" Dustin shouts.
Robin is scoffing, clearly offended. "Am I not famous enough for you Henderson!?"
"Get back to me when you've run a 24-hour Dungeons and Dragons live stream for charity!" Dustin shoots back, then has to dodge Robin's half-hearted punch aimed for his arm.
Eddie stays silent, looking more pale than when he got out of the truck. Steve's a little concerned he's going to faint.
"You been living under a rock, Dustin?" Steve asks. "My knowing him is apparently the only thing on the internet currently."
Dustin puts his whole head into the eye roll. "You spend a month backpacking with your girlfriend in the southern hemisphere and you never get to hear the end of it. I told you I'd catch up on your drama after I catch up on my DnD Live Plays."
"You also missed me winning a Grammy, you know."
"I thought Steve's thing was more important?"
"You are impossible, Henderson."
"You guys going to argue in the snow all afternoon, or do you want to come inside?" Steve says then places his fingers in his mouth and whistles. Melody and Pancake dash for the front door, where Chowder is already waiting. Dustin, Robin, and a still eerily quiet Eddie fall into line to walk the trail to the porch Steve had cleared.
Steve jumps the steps, grabs his thermos, lets the dogs in, and then holds the door for everyone else. Robin and Dustin breeze past, but Eddie slows, eyes jumping around Steve's face as they just look at each other for a moment. Eddie opens, then closes, then opens, then closes his mouth.
"Hi," Steve offers up, shifting a foot to hold the door open so he can wave his fingers at Eddie.
Eddie swallows thickly, then whispers back, "hey."
"In the house, Eddie. Don't want to let too much cold in," Steve tilts his head towards the doorway.
"Oh, right, sorry," that kick starts Eddie again and he crosses the threshold, Steve close behind.
Robin and Dustin are currently occupying the bench just inside the door, taking off their shoes. Once Dustin has his boots off, he leaves the bench, heading to the kitchen. Eddie seems lost, just standing in the entryway, so Steve takes the spot Dustin just left and proceeds to undo the laces on his boots. He gets one boot done by the time Robin stands, wandering after Dustin once she's hung up her coat, scarf, and gloves. Eddie doesn't move still, so Steve pats the empty spot beside him.
"No shoes in the cabin. Dogs track in enough snow, don't need us doing it too," Steve says, then busies himself with his other boot.
He sees Eddie sit and begin to untie his- jesus, he's not even wearing boots. Just a black pair of sneakers. Eddie unties his shoes in silence, sitting rather stiffly next to Steve.
This quiet, obedient Eddie is not what he expected.
"You want something to drink?" Steve asks, once both of them are free of their shoes.
"No, thank you."
"Alright. Have a seat, then," he gestures towards the couch. The cabin door opens up directly into the living area, which Steve has set up as 3/4th a living room and 1/4th dining room, in that a small kitchen table is along the far wall. Beyond that wall is the kitchen, where Robin and Dustin are undoubtedly helping themselves to his coffee or hot chocolate.
Eddie shuffles off to sit on the edge of the couch, as close to the armrest as he can get. Now that Steve can see him closer, he can see he's added more piercing to his face than just the eyebrow ring he wore in high school. Snake bites, a septum piercing, and a second eyebrow ring next to the original. He's sure that if Eddie's hair wasn't covering his ears, he'd see more metal there. Eddie had hung up the coat he'd been wearing but under that is a hoodie he didn't take off, so Steve can only guess if he ever got those tattoos he'd been planning in high school. His entire outfit is black, which just makes him look sickly in the cabin lighting.
Steve drops himself into the chair facing the couch. It's Melody's favorite chair to curl up in, but Steve thinks she'll forgive him for taking it. There's tension in the room, so he tries to break it. "You look like you've seen a ghost, dude."
Eddie makes a weird nose, almost a whimper or a whine, but before he can say anything, Robin rounds the wall, holding a mug of hot liquid and she says, "Oh, I'm sure he feels that he has. I didn't tell me we were coming to see you."
"Robin!" Steve is shocked.
"What? You said you wouldn't mind getting some closure, so I got him here. Does it matter how?" She takes a seat on the opposite end of the couch from Eddie, making a show of how comfortable she is in the space by sitting cross-legged and leaning back against the couch, in comparison to Eddie who is sitting up completely straight, barely on the couch with how close to the edge he's sitting.
"Yeah, it does! If he's not here voluntarily- if Eddie doesn't want to talk to me you can't-"
"I do," Eddie says. It grabs Steve and Robin's attention and Steve sees Eddie almost wilt under their twin stares. He clears his throat before continuing, "I mean, I would have come still, if she'd told me. I do want to talk to you. Apologize for.... for everything. So much I don't even know where to begin, or how."
"Uhh, this feels like something personal," Dustin says from where he's standing with his own mug, hovering nearby. "Should I be here for this?"
Good question. Steve doesn't care if Robin and Dustin hear what they talk about, but Eddie might. "How about we just relax a bit. How was the drive?"
Eddie scrunches his face, a half confused expression on his face.
"Fine," Robin says at the same time Dustin says, "Tense as fuck."
"Those two things don't seem like they match," Steve says.
Dustin moves to plop himself on the couch in between Eddie and Robin, then quietly curses as his drink sloshes over the edge of the mug. He starts mopping at it with the sleeve of his shirt as he says, "Robin is a liar. The tension in the truck is going to linger that's how bad it was. I'll be feeling the tension every time I get in the rig. Clients will feel the tension when I pull up to their curbs!"
"It was not that bad!" Robin swats Dustin. Successfully this time, since there's no way for him to dodge unless he wants to spill his drink again.
Steve just laughs. "Robs, light of my life, mate of my soul, knowing you and your grudges, Dustin's probably going easy on the description of the tension here."
"Well, there wouldn't be tension if I was allowed to say what I want to say."
"Can we go, like, five minutes without your negativity?"
"My negativity!? I'm not negative, I'm rational and level-headed!"
"You are not sounding very level-headed right now."
Dustin chimes in, "Steve's right. Level-headed people don't have to shout that they're level-headed."
"What say you, Eds?" Steve asks, the old nickname slipping out. He doesn't have time to be embarrassed about it though.
Eddie stands quickly and flings his hands in the air, having reached an invisible limit Steve is unaware of, pacing about the living room as he basically shouts, "Why don't you hate me!? You should hate me! I hate me! I can't- why are you just sitting there, trying to have a-a decent conversation with me? You should be screaming at me! You should be mad! Why aren't you? My fuckin' song ruined your life!"
The silence in the living room is heavy following that, all eyes on Eddie. Even the dogs, who had been in various states of sleep, lift their heads and look in Eddie's direction.
He looks mortified by the out burst, and his face turns red. "I-I'm sorry. I- I'm just, I'm sorry. I need air."
They all watch silently as Eddie jams his shoes back on and goes out the front door without tying them or grabbing his coat.
Steve sighs, deep and annoyed. At Robin and himself. He looks to Robin and she looks shocked by Eddie's outburst. She was watching the door, but turns her head to meet Steve's eye, a small frown on her face.
"Well, it's not like he's going far," Dustin says. "You going after him?"
"I don't know if I should."
Dustin scoffs. "Don't be an idiot, of course you should. We drug that guy to the middle of nowhere to talk to you. He agreed to come to the middle of nowhere even though I could have been a hit man hired by Robin to off him in the woods and he didn't even complain. Didn't even question. I don't know what happened, but I think you two need talk it over."
Steve blinks at Dustin. "Since when did you get so wise?"
"I've always been wise. You just refuse to see it with your ageism. Go. Robin can fill me in on the beef, here in the toasty, cozy cabin, while you two chat in the cold, and freeze your asses off."
"I don't have ageism-"
"Wrong argument to be having, Steve!" Dustin interrupts. "And take another cup of coffee with you. Even if he doesn't drink it, dude doesn't have gloves either so y'know, warm the hands."
Steve does just that. Fills his other thermos with coffee, taking a chance by adding cream and sugar, before putting his boots, coat, and beanie back on. He throws Eddie's coat over his arm and tucks both thermos' against his body with that same arm so he can have a free hand to open the door.
Eddie isn't far. He's pacing back and forth in front of the truck, talking to himself.
Taking a deep breath to steel himself, Steve steps off the porch and makes his way to Eddie. "Hey."
The pacing stops and Eddie turns to look at Steve. They just look at each other as Steve approaches. Steve doesn't stop until he's close enough to reach out and touch before he shuffles the two thermos's to his other arm and extends the one with Eddie's coat on it out.
"Thank you," Eddie says, taking the coat and shoving himself into it quickly.
"Brought you coffee, too," Steve holds out one thermos and after a pause, Eddie takes it, too, then almost instantly brings his other hand up to cradle it, warming his fingers.
He looks up from the thermos and meets Steve's eye. "I am sorry, Steve. I'm sorry for how things ended between us, and for the song I wrote, and for-for not thinking about how people would be able to work out that you were the Steve from Hey Steve. You should hate me for that alone. I'm so sorry for everything that's happened because I didn't think of the consequences."
"I don't- I don't hate you man. Not... not anymore. Not for a long time."
"Well, you should!"
Steve frowns. He wants to argue because who is Eddie to tell him how he should feel? But that's not going to help anything. "When Robin called me. During her interview after the Grammy's and asked if she could tell the truth I never- I didn't know what she meant by the truth. But. Well, nothing she said was a lie, but it wasn't the full story."
Eddie stays silent, seemingly waiting for Steve to continue.
"Those first two years after our breakup were- I'm not going to lie, they were fucking awful. I think I received my first bit of hate mail the very same day Hey Steve released. It was harsh. All from the same person, but sent to my Facebook and my Twitter and Instagram. Guess they really wanted me to read it.
"And then, with each passing day, a new person, new message, just as awful. After three days I deleted Instagram and Twitter. Then I locked down Facebook but like- physical letters showed up at my house. I can't lie, it certainly felt like you'd ruined my life."
Eddie makes a wounded sound at that. "That's because I did! What I did was unforgivable and-"
"You don't get to decide for me if I forgive you or not!" Steve snaps. "I haven't actually said I did forgive you, did I? All I've said is I don't hate you."
That gets Eddie quiet again for a moment, then he says, "you ended up hospitalized because of me."
"Robin said I ended up hospitalized, and that's true, but it wasn't- It was more complicated that just being your, and your fans', fault. For people who were supposedly on 'your side' of our breakup, they used a lot of homophobic language. That's how my mom found out. The letters were easy enough to just get rid of because all the bad shit was on the inside, but someone sent a post card, and mom collected the mail that day. It's... I don't like talking about this."
"Then don't," Eddie is quick to say, "you don't have to explain anything to me, or make yourself relive these events. It's- you don't owe that to me."
"I think I need to. I wrote you a song, said I'd do it all again, and I meant that. I want you to understand why. Just. Just give me a minute."
Eddie nods and takes a sip of his coffee. He looks pleasantly surprised and takes bigger drink before his face falls into a frown as he stares down at the thermos and Steve has to look away. He turns and squeezes his eyes shut to continue. "Mom showed the postcard to my father, and he confronted me that evening. It was.... it didn't start off bad. He asked if it was true. That I was gay. I made a choice, then. I didn't have to; I could have lied. I could have told him I was straight and that I didn't understand what the postcard was saying, but I didn't.
"I knew how he felt about queer people, and I told him the truth anyway. I was bisexual. I thought it was a miracle that he didn't kick me out instantly. Instead, he calmly asked me if that meant I liked woman. I said it meant I liked more than just woman.
"Then he told me that didn't matter. That so long as I liked woman, I would be with a woman, and that we never had to speak of this again. And I told him no. He didn't get to decide that for me. He said that he would rather have a dead son than a faggot one. And I thought- I never- surely he was just meaning, like, metaphorically, right? Like, he'd disown me, kick me out or something so I scoffed and said- God, I was so stupid. I knew it wasn't safe, but I was so angry at him, I shouted 'dead or alive, I'm your faggot son so deal with it.' And he- he said 'dead it is' and he attacked me."
He hears Eddie suck in a breath, hears the crunch of snow in what could only be Eddie taking a step towards him but stopping after just one step. Steve doesn't know if he wants Eddie to close the distance and give him the hug he knows Eddie wants to do. Steve doesn't know if he'd welcome the embrace or not. He sucks in his own shaky breath, and continues, "He almost beat me to death that night. The only reason he didn't was because mom dialed 911," Steve turns around, looks at Eddie and sees the tears falling down his own face reflected on Eddie. "As far as I know, dad's still serving time for his attempted murder, so like, at least I don't have to worry about him. And mom... I don't even know what to think of that.
"She called 911, didn't want to see me die, I guess, but also couldn't have a gay son. She sold the house, and everything in it, while I was still in the hospital, and just... disappeared. Robin's family took me in. She told that story during the interview, you knoe, but I wasn't even at the house when that guy with the gun showed up. I was meeting with a lawyer.
"She-Mom was- I don't know what she was trying to do but she gave me the family business. The whole company! It felt like she was trying to buy my forgiveness, except she didn't ask for it and still hasn't contacted me. It's like... she felt guilty about what happened but hated me at the same time. Felt she needed to do something to alleviate her guilt? Or maybe she just wanted to cut herself free of the whole Harrington name; free herself from me and my father. I don't think I'll ever get closure for that one."
Steve quits talking, needs to take another moment. He'd already rambled on about more than he meant to but talking to Eddie had always done that to him. Afterall, before they dated, they'd been friends. He sips at his coffee, not knowing what else to say.
"Jesus, Stevie, I'm so sorry. I didn't know- It's no excuse but I'm just so sorry."
He doesn't think Eddie knows he called him Stevie, but it's nice to hear. "So, see, it wasn't your fault. Your song set things into motion, for sure, so it's nice to hear an apology, but like, if anyone is the bad guy in this situation, it's Richard Harrington."
"But Robin said she just had to help you move to here. That you still get hate mail, and doxxed. That's on me. I saw your list of addresses, Steve! You've had to move, like, eight times a year!"
Steve can't help the cackle that springs from him. He surprises himself with the laugh, and Eddie, too, if his wide eyes and eyebrows hidden behind his bangs are any indication. "I- yeah, I move a lot. And yes, this most recent move was because of a brick with Hey Steve scratched into it broke my living room window, but like, I've only had to move because of harassment like, four times, if I'm counting the whole mom-selling-the-house thing."
"What?"
Steve holds up a finger, adding a new one as he counts them out. "Mom sold house. Scary gun guy at Robin's. The year anniversary of your first album's release. I was still in Hawkins, figuring out what to do with all the money I'd, uhh, inherited I guess, so I was easy to find. And the most recent one. Not sure what inspired it this time. Usually, the hate mail resurges when you go on tour, but it's less and less every time. Anyway, none of those other moves are because of crazy fans."
Eddie blinks at him, a picture of confusion. "But I found a YouTube video and that guy- he showed all your old addresses. He said- I thought..."
"Well, there are a lot of addresses. But not because of your fans. I move for my job. Do you... did you even read the truck?" Steve gestures to Dustin's truck and Eddie steps around to see the printed H&H Project Flip and below that is their website.
Eddie looks back to Steve like that answers nothing. Which, fair, but it would answer a lot of questions if Eddie had looked up the website. "After that surge of anniversary hate, I knew I needed to get out of Hawkins. Robin was graduated, then, and headed to college. I decided I wanted to see more than just Hawkins. I followed Robin to college in Chicago, and uh, bought a house. A real fixer upper but that was fine. I had plenty of money to throw into it. On a whim I thought, what if I try to fix it. I had a lot of free time and if it ended up badly, I could afford to pay a professional to fix whatever I broke. I found that I loved doing that."
He's still just being looked at like he's not making sense.
Steve rolls his eyes, "I flip houses, dude. Me and Dustin. Harrington and Henderson Project Flip. I was in Chicago for three years, lots of addresses for that city. But then Robin pointed out there were a lot of states. That I should see all 50 of 'em by renovating a house in each. She'd moved in with her then-girlfriend by this time, so she said I should go. See the States at the least. So, I did. I find it easier to just live in the house I'm renovating, so I'm not paying mortgage and then rent somewhere else in the same city."
Eddie looks like he's had a rug pulled out from under him and he lets out a laugh that's a little hysterical.
"And moving so much has allowed me to meet so many amazing people, y'know? I got friends in all the states. So, like, yeah, you did ruin my life, but like, just my life from 18 to 20. So, yeah, I'd do it all again. Did you think I've been living in perpetual misery for the last ten years?"
"Robin certainly made it easy to assume that, so yeah!"
"I think she did that on purpose. To hurt you back."
"I deserve it," Eddie says. "I didn't even try to check in on you. Well, once, but when I couldn't find you on any socials I just. Gave up."
Steve shrugs. "I didn't reach out either. And if you'll remember, I broke up with you. Screamed in your face that we were over and went home."
"I don't know when, or even if, Corroded Coffin will tour again, but I swear to you, we'll never play or release Hey Steve again. And I'll release a statement, or go on camera, or something, and address this. I can't make it right, but I can make a change starting now, to do better and be better," Eddie says this while gripping his thermos to death.
"I believe you, and I forgive you."
Eddie nods grimly, then looks from Steve to the cabin, and back to Steve. "Do you think Robin will ever forgive me?"
"I don't know. You hurt her pretty badly, too. We were all best friends in school and when we broke up, you cut off Robin, too. And then, when she started to gain her own fame- I think when she first moved to LA, she thought you'd try to reach out. But you never did."
A silence falls over them, and Steve refuses to break it. He's done enough talking. They drink their coffees 'til they're empty before Eddie speaks.
"Where does this leave us?"
Steve thinks about it before answering. "You were my best friend before you were my boyfriend. You'd been in my life longer than you've been out of it. We don't have to be anything. We can have our closure and go our separate ways, if you'd prefer. But, I think I'd like another chance at being your friend."
"I can do friend," Eddie says slowly, like he's picking his words carefully. "I can. But, full transparency, I think I still love you."
It hurts to hear, after all the pain and the time, and it's a bittersweet kind of hurt. "I'll always love you, Eds. I meant it, you know, every word of the song. But I don't know if we can, or should, try again. We were so good until we weren't."
Tears spring from Eddie's eyes when Steve says he loves him, and they don't stop falling even as he's nodding along with everything Steve says. "No, I know. I know. I just, I needed you to know. Friend is, it's so fucking great. More than I ever expected, and certainly more than I dared hope."
"Come on. Let's go inside where it's warm and chat with Dustin and Robin like civilized people. I need a break from the heavy talk."
"Yeah. Me too. Thank you, Steve. For the chance."
Steve shrugs and shoots him a crooked grin. "Yeah, well, ruin this a second time and Robin will rip you to shreds on live TV, probably."
There's more to talk about. More hurts to heal and things to discuss, Steve knows. And maybe after all the talking, they'll learn they've changed too much to even be friends. But that'll be okay, because if that's how it goes, it'll be because they talked it out instead of screaming at each other in a living room.
If they've changed too much, this time, it'll end gently.
It doesn't stop Steve from letting a little bit of hope in. That this won't end, that they can find a way to be in each other's lives again.
As friends, or more.
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I made a mile long twt thread about okuyasu that I'll just paste here too because I have many thoughts about him <333 anyways heres my messy rambles about this specific line because AUUGH
do u ever think about this one line and how perfectly it encapsulates his entire character and how it fits into diu. Like first Okuyasu is NOT a traditionally kind person, he's no saint, he's quick to violence and anger and frustration, he's close-minded and is very clear about his lack of regard for others.
But coupling that with this line from Keicho (sometimes it's translated as "only when I hit him does he listen to me) and its like damn. Their entire lives have been shaped by violence, the only way they've made ANY progress is through death and hurt.
Keicho's power in the family comes from discipline, violence over his father and violence caused by the arrow. The one thing standing between him and a "normal" life is the literal death of his father. It doesn't matter how many lives he ruins in the process, all that matters is getting that second chance. His life has been on an uncontrollable downward spiral, but with the arrow and his own family at his heel, he has power. He can make decisions. He can unshackle himself from the past 10 years and finally start his life.
And of course Okuyasu would absorb all this, because Keicho was all he had, and his own father always responded to that violence. And if you follow the interpretation that the brothers gained their stands from the arrow, that's another instance of them gaining power through suffering. Becoming "better".
And it's so interesting that keicho treats his father and Okuyasu as deadweights "holding him back" when in reality, it was Keicho that was sinking down into tar, refusing to get out because a happier life could be just on the other side.
Okuyasu wanted to save his father the moment that possibility was established, but Keicho held onto the arrow, his sinking fate, his suffering, until the very end. He believed he crossed his moral event horizon and he was destined on this set path. No matter how much power he could scrounge for himself, death ruled his entire life, whether that of his father or the lives of the arrow's victims.
And all this makes Okuyasu's relationships with Josuke and Koichi so much better because. Okuyasu did NOT care for their safety. He was, at least on the surface, on board with Koichi or even Josuke dying. Maybe not all that passionate, but he's seen death, probably participated in it, and believes that it's the Number 1 Nijimura Way. So then Josuke healing him is completely antithetical to his entire damn life.
He was ready to die, ready to "learn his lesson", ready to be discarded because he failed, just like how all those people died to the arrow because they failed to handle a stand. But Josuke's very lukewarm "i jus dont want ppl dying??" belief is so groundbreaking because death was so necessary for any and all progress.
Okuyasu's own stand is inherently destructive and erases things permanently. Maybe a deep-seated desire to actually make lasting impacts on his surroundings erupting as a power beyond death. To cause total oblivion. I know we all love to think that Keicho didn't want to force Okuyasu to kill his own father, but Keicho wanted a normal death. Because at least a normal death can happen to a normal family. And completely erasing someone's atoms isn't a mortal death.
Then here comes Josuke's healing schtick which WORKS, and Josuke is fully prepared to sacrifice an arm and leg just to save Koichi. In like 15 minutes, one guy completely overwrote the past 15 years of Okuyasus life. He helps Josuke heal koichi (extra layer of fucked because all those arrow victims never HAD to die), gets called a great guy, and starts his character arc of. Making decisions in the absence of violence. Choosing to heal and rebuild instead of destroying and moving onto the next victim. Of continuing the cycle of beating life lessons into people's heads.
And Koichi, dude he choked out with a gate, becomes his close friend too. Koichi who gets repeatedly harassed thru diu but still has it in him to forgive and befriend others. He's far from naive, gets fed up with shit, but he's another opposite to Okuyasu. His stand evolves through pain, maybe, but it's from a desire to protect himself or others. There's a chance Koichi was never supposed to survive, but he did (part 4's theme about fate is a different story oooboy) and his active ability to see the best in people compliments Josuke's more aloof demeanor and Okuyasu's short temper. Koichi is like. The embodiment of growth in that way.
and ik its eoh dialogue but this interaction was always neat to me because of how it highlighted Okuyasu's disinterest in improvement, at least when it comes to character. For him, as long as someone "gets" the lesson at a surface level or is good enough at it, there's no reason to dive deeper. To fully wrap your head around it and Feel it. Its the same utility-first philosophy Keicho held, the same idea that all that matters is the end goal, not the means or the people along the way. + how Okuyasu still bickered and talked back to Keicho, but understood well enough that Keicho was the one in control.
"bare minimum" is how okuyasu lived his entire life; his house, how keicho treated him, his response to Josuke and Koichi's kindness, his entire relationship with his father.
He desperately wants, yeah, but its for more material things. Money and power, things either robbed from him or held over his head. And YEAH he's supposed to be hypocritical here, but like. Why does he lose his morals and sense ESPECIALLY when those two things are involved. Why does he "regress" in character growth back to tunnel-visioned violence and discipline about them.
And rahhhhhh is it lackluster writing or is it interesting that Okuyasu's pretty stagnant for the entirety of diu. It's like he's passively absorbing things about befriending former enemies through kindness, inspiring loyalty through passion not pain.
He calls Mikitaka weird and dismisses him (remnants of Keicho's utility stuff?), gets ghost tricked, acts like a big brother a few times. But it's when he meets Keicho face-to-face that it all crashes down around him. The same way Nijimura father had shackled him, Keicho had also been weighing on Okuyasu.
Its like. Keichos death made Okuyasu rebound onto Josuke and get consumed by vengeance against Otoishi, and Okuyasu didn't know how to properly grieve Shigechi either. His entire life, when someone died, violence was the answer. Hide the body, kill the father, don't ever think about what you've done.
But its Keicho, the one that spearheaded the power-and-suffering-over-all thing, who steps in and requests that Okuyasu thinks it over. The Keicho that said he stopped regarding oku as his brother, was willing to kill him to prove a point, who quite possibly shot the arrow at him. Who taught him that only violence yields the answer. Self-inflicted or not.
He says to just think about it. And Okuyasu thinks long enough for Josuke and Hayato to lose their damn minds and for him to actually understand it, fully wrap his mind around it. The fact that he has a "second" life, the life Keicho pursued for so long and died for. And he has it because of the love and compassion from his friends, how they see past the failures and transgressions of others.
How they just dont want people to die. And Okuyasu doesnt have to either. He doesnt have to stay sinking for his brother, doesnt have to lose everything for a mistake, doesnt have to destroy to make a difference. and so he chooses to live. Really, fully live. For himself.
And he comes back, now able to recognize and separate himself from Keicho's teachings. THERES A REASON STRAY HAS BEEN MY PFP FOR FOREVER BECAUSE Okuyasu comes back and saves Stray. The little creature that literally EXPLODED him.
And it means so much that it wasn't a "this creature is good and I will rescue it" moment, because Okuyasu was never a saviour hero-type. He didn't even mean to "save" the cat. He just removed Stray from Kira's grasp, and THEN realized oh I think it's just a little guy. Alright cool I guess the fucker stays with me.
He's growing his own way, beginning his new life by first and foremost helping others. He brings stray home BEFORE it takes a liking to his father. It's just. The first independent, weighted decision he makes is giving a stressed, unfortunate cat a second chance at life. It was struck by an arrow, revived due to forces outside it's comprehension, and was fuelled by instincts to lash out and attack. And because it was destructive and able to follow orders, it was weaponized. Before finally being removed from the situation and calmed down. Sound familiar?
And now Okuyasu has a semblance of a domestic family. The Nijimura family is all about growth from death and it's so interesting. Nijimura father becoming cruelest after his wife's death, him mutating after DIO's death, Keicho believing his life begins after his father's death, Okuyasu's life actually beginning after Keicho's demise, Stray being reborn as a plant (symbol of growth), and Okuyasu reviving too (also due to Keicho's death).
+ shit about nijimura father unable to die and Okuyasu constantly being pulled from death by Josuke ADDING MORE FUNNY LAYERS TO LOOK AT + the name nijimura literally meaning rainbow village. Both the physical irl place and the idea that rainbows = rebirth and hope and new beginnings + stray being reincarnated under one + Okuyasu reviving after the rain passed. Death doesn't rule them, but is also inescapable??? Idk anyways
ALL THIS IS WHAT I MEAN BY okuyasu is a flawed character surrounded by violence and bad decisions, he's not a pure soul and does fucked shit and is NOT a 2014 tumblr era cinnamon roll PLEASE. He can be an ass and it makes the hopeful buds of his new life that more beautiful cuz like. Morioh is the best place for him to settle and grow, reteach himself everything because it's a community of equally if not more dubious weirdos.
Oku's far far from perfect, he's still got a lot of anger and shortsightedness but he's with people that love him, willing to help him when he makes mistakes, doesn't hold him back. His relationships with Josuke and Koichi and others aren't like. Super poetic or cosmic or "I will find you in every universe"esque and it suits him. He's just a teen guy who went thru everything and missed out on everything. He's suffered, caused suffering, but he's leaving that cycle.
Judging by the book (semi-canon), it's going as messy as expected, but he loves his friends so so much. He's still putting himself in harm's way and being reckless and an asshole, but he has something more to fight for. And he cares a lot. Is willing to go beyond for it, maybe even improve. And that's enough for him (in the best way).
Idk how to end the thread anyways he's my son my baby perfect angel also he sucks bad BUT HE'S PERFECT ‼️‼️ this is how I feel about him every given day it just depends on the celestial alignment of the planets and stars
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