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venoti · 11 months

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A chance?

Summary: Dating Miles as Miguel’s sibling.

Spider-man across the spider verse

₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊

After watching the movie, I can tell Miguel would be attached to his remaining family.

He wanted the best for you. His best thought was putting you in a seemingly safe area, earth 1610. Later, it was definitely not the best option. “Especially with miles” Thats what he said.

You were younger than Miguel. But roughed it out, talking to him occasionally and living your life. And it was normal.

Till miles, he changed everything. And yada yada, went through hardship and got together from a kiss in his room.

And in the moment it seemed amazing! But what about after..?

—

“So.. is it uh.. official?” He stuttered trying to keep his cool. I noticed his nervous movements, rocking his hand, whistling in the silence. I laughed before turning to him.

“Miles, theres no way I would kiss just anyone.” I muttered getting closer. His cheeks turned hot, feeling touched by those words. “So.. I’ll meet you at the rooftop tomorrow?” I smiled.

God you are hot—

He tilted his head, he felt the world disappear, only seeing you. He did a silent yes hugging me by the waist. Laughing before he went out the room happy. What will he tell his parents..?

—

When you told your brother, it was a easy no.

—

“He’s really nice!”

“That’s really funny!” He said sarcastically with a fake smile. It soon dropped. “Because I don’t believe you” He scoffed crossing his arms. I just rolled my eyes.

“You haven’t even met him..?” I snarked.

“And I don’t have too” He sighed. I waited tapping on my sude. Till getting a very.. capable idea. I took a deep breath, then went into action.

“Pleaseeee” I pleaded getting on my knees.

He choked on his spit. “Why are you doing that? Get up—!”

“Please!!” I grabbed his leg clinging on him.

“Are you serious..!” He struggled getting me off. He couldn’t just kick me, that’s the only weakness he has “Fine! Just get off..”

I shed a fake tear. “Thank you”

—

When miles met your brother, it was tough. He was on edge whenever he saw him, after that one talk. It was worse than anything else.

And had to swear on his life to keep you safe, and probably was not a joke. He still loves you though..?

He takes it slow for the most part, but will automatically want to smother you with love. He definitely loves affection, and texts you every day.

Even with Miguel constantly on eagle watch for him, he acted the same never changing for a person. Unless it was good, but miles never understood why Miguel had a offset grudge.

Aside that He is such a sweetheart, and likes to do things for you. He understands his job as Spider-Man, having to take most of his time into that.

So whenever he has free time he spends it with you. Drawing, ice cream, flying in air as you screamed. You both had fun.

But even with that, expect a lot of flowers and letters. They will be wrote in delicacy and cute doodles on the side.

He always gets soft when you pay attention, he just feels so appreciated. As he should

But obviously all the time spent as Spider-Man and then with you caught up with his parents.

So it was time to introduce you.

At first it was really intense, they glared at you asking constant questions, too fast for you to even answer. But they were worried for miles, that was their kid and they didn’t know if he was safe.

But after dinner, they knew he was gonna be fine. You guys actually started getting closer, and you came over more often for dinner. They started treating you like the family.

And miles only fell for you more. Every time after dinner he gave you a kiss goodbye, always filled with warmth. Even his roommate would make fun of him by how lovey dovey he gets. Especially on his hour rant about you.

—

“Ahh.. wow” Ganke sighed, his eyes were closing, thinking it was finally silent. Till he heard miles words again, ready to just sleep outside.

“And have you seen their smile? It was like heaven to see—!”

“Dude Just go to bed!” Ganke groaned covering his ears with the pillow. It’s 12 at night, and he preferred sleep than some talk about a person he hadn’t even met.

—

Mile’s was protective, he definitely wanted to make sure you weren’t ever hurt. No matter when you tried to help. His first priority was you, so making sure you are safe made him most calm.

A lot of dates. What he loved most was just sitting down in silence staring at the city. He was able to just admire you.

So overall 10/10 he’s definitely worth it. Except for the soon tension with Miguel, that will be a awkward conversation..

Which I might make a part on, thank you for reading!!

₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊

#x reader #gender nuetral reader #across the spiderverse #spiderman #miles x reader #miles morales #miles morales x reader #spider man 2099: dark genesis #miguel oliveira #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderman into the spiderverse #spiderman x reader #atsv x reader #atsv

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sweetbeagaming · 5 months

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How to install TS3 for the ✨chronically TS4✨

Getting back into TS3 posed a challenge for me as compared to TS4. It's a 10+ year old game and of course requires some extra TLC as compared to TS4. So I hope this guide will help y'all to get everything set up cleanly and smoothly! It took me three separate tries and if I can help the next person struggle less, then that's great. Happy simming!

You'll need a copy of TS3 and these resources:

The Sims 3 Performance & Bug Fix Guide 2023 by anime_boom

This lovely post from TS3 community extraordinaire @nectar-cellar

How Use CCMagic YouTube video by @florydaax

No Intro mod edited for 2023 (original by retired creator EllaCharmed) The original mod from Ella does not work for current patch 1.69. I fixed it in s3pe with the help of some commenters on MTS so that it does actually remove the intro. If the creator happens to see this and would like this modified version removed, let me know.

How to clear cache by Carl's Guide

Got everything pulled up? Great! You're ready to start.

1. Download a FRESHLY INSTALLED copy of TS3 to your computer. If you're able, I'd highly recommend having all the packs you're wanting to own already so you don't have to do all of this again. If you are redownloading the game for any reason (like me bc I was struggling lol), remove the existing TS3 folder in your documents and save it somewhere so you can keep all of your mods or worlds there. Back up any reshade stuff from the bin folder. Completely uninstall the game through the EA app/Steam. You may lose your saves and sims due to a change in script mods through this tutorial. This cannot be avoided, trust me I tried. But it's worth it for a smooth game.

2. Do a test launch so that the game generates a new TS3 Folder in your documents. DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT INSTALL ANY SIMS 3 PACKS THROUGH THE LAUNCHER! NO WORLDS, NO CLOTHES, NO HAIR COLORS, NOTHING. This will be very important later on when you merge your CC using CCMagic. If you need worlds or other CC there are alternative ways to obtain them.

3. CLEAR THE GENERATED CACHE

4. If you use EA and open to test anywhere between steps (which you shouldn't really need to after step 1 of the Bug Fix Guide) or after playing at any point, open up task manager and ensure that you end the tasks "EA" and "EA Background Services" before continuing. It doesn't really use much memory but I noticed that it caused stutters if it's open when launching using your shiny brand new Smooth Patch. It will look like this:

5. Begin following the steps in the Performance & Bug Fix guide. The first thing you'll do is set up your mods folder. Follow those steps exactly as they are in the guide, except use the No Intro mod I linked above instead of the one you get in that folder if you actually want the intro removed.

6. Continue to FOLLOW ALL REQUIRED STEPS IN THE GUIDE UNTIL YOU'RE DONE. I mean it, all of them one by one. Heck, if you're open/able to do the bonus and optional ones, I'd suggest doing those too.

7. Once you've completed that, go check out nectar-cellar's excellent post for tips and a fix to make the smooth patch to compatible with Master Controller. I will not be providing an edited version of this as LazyDutchess who created the Smooth Patch is still active and I want to respect their work.

8. If you've made it this far, you're doing great sweetie. Do another test launch through the patcher and if everything runs correctly it means you've done everything RIGHT. You're ready to start playing or downloading mods if you want! If you do start downloading mods merging them will 100% be a must do if you want to maintain any sanity. You can use CCMagic to do so. I linked that handy lil video above!

Keep in mind script mods, overrides, patterns, and CC counters should NEVER be merged. Always check the creator's notes, yada yada. And always clean up your cache on a regular basis. Have fun y'all!

#ts3 #ts3 help #sims 3 #the sims 3 #sims #the sims #ts3 simblr #simblr #simblr community

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woodlaflababab · 2 months

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Thinking about Zuko's influence on the audience's perception of Aang, specifically in Book 1. I kinda touched on it in this post but that post is pure unsorted rambling in which I didn't get to delve as deep as I wanted. Anyway, the relevent part was:

"With this whole episode, it's just the fact that Zuko is the reason we first get to see just how fucking cool Aang is. It's so easy to be like the others in the show and see Aang for his childish antics and sweet nature, but Zuko is the one that consistently reminds us, “No, this is the Avatar. He's powerful, he's brave, he's fiercely protective, and he deserves respect and acknowledgment for that.”"

Like, I mean, the point is redundant, everyone knows they are foils, so I'm not saying anything ground breaking when I say Zuko is often the one who brings out the best in Aang and encourages him to embrace being the avatar and that a lot of Aang's strongest charater moments are because of Zuko, yada yada, okay, we know, zukaang meta 101, nobody wants to hear it

But also, Zuko's opinion of Aang is so interestingly different from everyone else's. We get a view of Aang from the pov of himself, in which we see his doubts and struggles, the pov of the gaang, through which we see his antics and improvement and flaws. We also understand the opinion of the Fire Nation abt Aang (pure threat that's weirdly small), and we get plenty on the different opinions of the rest of the world.

If you took out Zuko's reactions to Aang, you'd feel like you know pretty much all there is to know about Aang. But to Zuko, Aang is an ever present mystery. The gaang doesn't really question anything abt Aang except what he can do and the rest of their enemies don't care to know things about Aang

But Zuko does. To Zuko, Aang is a source of constant questions, and this is sometimes played as a joke (i.e. "He must be a master of evasive maneuvering." to "You have no idea where we're going, do you?") and sometimes it hits the very core of Zuko's being and changes the course of the plot, (i.e. The Blue Spirit)

Zuko is unique because, to everyone else, Aang is one of two things. A Hero, or An Threat. He is neither to Zuko.

Zuko has no desire to defeat Aang. Aang is not a Threat to him. Hell, as Iroh says, Aang actively gives Zuko hope. But Aang is also not a Hero or ally.

He is neither a protagonist or an antagonist in Zuko's story. He's a goal. And that's such a unique perspective that allows us to question who Aang is from a neutral standpoint. Who is this person who effortlessly escapes trouble while having no idea what he's doing? Who is this person who saves someone they defeated? Who is this person who looks at an enemy and says 'you remind me of my best friend'?

Who else makes us ask these questions?

Through Zuko we, or at least I, see Aang as more than a person, and more than a hero, but as this unconventional conundrum that defies expectation at every turn, baffling and beautiful. Aang is so much more than your conventional hero and nobody sees or shows us that more than Zuko.

My favorite way to look at Aang is through Zuko's eyes.

#zukaang #atla #you know what other stories have a character whos 'a goal' to the protagonist #romances #im just saying #zukaang talks #talks #just came off a long shift #so Im not entirely sure this makes sense #but I cant sleep with zukaang thoughts #woodlaflababab

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chronicrabbit · 1 year

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A Very Steddie Christmas

Listen. I had an idea.

It’s post-Vecna. Steve and Eddie are friends. Eddie has had a hopeless little crush on Steve for years, yada yada yada. The usual shit. You get the picture.

It’s mid December and Steve Harrington is hyped up for Christmas.

Steve had always been a Christmas fan. He lives for it; the tacky decorations, the twinkling lights strung up on every tree and house on the block, the joyous atmosphere, the warmth of a good cup of cocoa on a snowy Hawkins night.

Everything.

Steve loves Christmas, even more so now that he has a Family™️ to share it with!

So when he overhears Eddie talking to Gareth about how he’s:

“Never had an actual Christmas”

he knows his services are needed.

He makes it his mission to give Eddie Munson the best Christmas ever, despite Robin’s teasing looks and Dustin’s frown of confusion.

He starts it all off with inviting him over to decorate inside and out, mostly because he doesn’t particularly want to do it himself and Robin point blank refuses when he asks her.

It’s not the funnest holiday activity, but the end goal is worth it; that’s what Steve’d always thought, anyway.

The Harrington’s were not terribly festive people, but they were deeply prideful and competitive, so naturally there were about five shelves in their sizable garage packed full of lights, tinsel, baubles, and other more expensive pieces of decor purchased by a fuming and wine-drunk Claire Harrington after a single and very passive aggressive conversation with Mrs. Thompson across the street.

Steve and Eddie work for hours, ending in tinsel littering every available surface, a bent gutter from a very close call with the ladder, and a declaration of hatred for string lights, but the huge grin on Eddie’s face is undeniable as they stand side by side, clinking together their hideous holiday mugs of eggnog and rum as they survey the impressive product of their hard work.

It looks amazing.

Mrs. Thompson, eat your heart out.

His next step is to bake his Nonna’s red-hot cinnamon snickerdoodles, the ones she’d sneak him every Christmas when he was a kid before his parents decided visiting was too much effort, and to watch a few Christmas Classics.

The cookies were meant to be a surprise, but Eddie shows up an hour and a half earlier than he’d said he would with the movies Robin had set aside for him and finds Steve in the kitchen, hair pinned back, glasses on, and red knit sweater covered in flour despite the apron tied around his waist.

He finds he doesn’t so much mind the change of plans as he and Eddie dance around the kitchen to George Michael, Eddie grabbing the batter covered wire whisk for a compelling performance of “Last Christmas”, a song he very clearly knows none of the words to.

Once the cookies are safely tucked away in the oven, they make their way to the couch, sitting nice and close for extra warmth as “It’s a Wonderful Life” begins to play.

Eddie talks through the entire first part of the movie, and when they return from the short break they take to retrieve the cookies from the oven and divvy them out between the two of them along with two cups of steaming hot cocoa, he talks through the rest through his mouthful of cookie.

Steve’s never enjoyed that movie more.

The third step is a bit more of an impromptu thing, because when Steve wakes up to see a fresh layer of beautiful powdery snow on the ground, he basically has no choice but to round up the party for the worlds most epic snowball fight.

Eddie complains at first, but quickly changes his tune the moment Mike manages to nail him directly in the face with a snowball.

He leaps into action with a declaration of:

“Oh it’s on, Wheeler!”

No matter how much Dustin swears you can’t win a snowball fight, Steve and Nancy definitely take the victory that day between her killer aim and his brutal throwing arm.

They split up into groups after the fact for some more snowy day activities.

El, Max, Nancy, and Steve build a little snow family together, Mike, Lucas, Will, and Robin work exceptionally hard to craft a nice sturdy fort with packed snow and ice (they write out actual equations and dimensions that make Steve’s head spin), and Erica, Dustin, Eddie, Jonathan, and Argyle make a serious of increasingly more ridiculous snow angels, ending in the five of them just tackling each other over to see what shape it makes.

Everyone stays out until their fingertips and noses are bright red and numb, finally giving in and heading inside once the sun starts to set and fresh snow starts to fall.

They clamber into Steve’s house, bundling up in blankets and huddling in front of the fireplace together to watch, much to Steve’s chagrin, the He-Man Christmas Special from the year before that Dustin had recorded over an episode of Night Court (Claudia was still upset with him over it).

And he couldn’t lie to himself and pretend he didn’t know how close he was sitting beside Eddie on the couch; close enough that their shoulders were bumping together with each breath.

He also couldn’t pretend he wasn’t enjoying every single time Eddie would turn to face him, to share in the excitement of whatever was happening on the screen.

Steve hadn’t watched a single second of the movie, far too focused on the dimples that appeared whenever Eddie smiled that big sunny smile, or the crinkles that appeared likewise around his big brown eyes, or the small freckle just over his lip…

Oh.

Well…

He’d have to adjust his plan just a little.

With that new information tucked safely away in his mind, his next step became very clear. Thankfully, he didn’t need a different gift idea than the one he’d already come up with, perhaps just a different method of delivery.

………

It’s the afternoon of Christmas Eve when he knocks on the door of Eddie Munson’s trailer, the only one in the park with a complete absence of Christmas decorations or, at the very least, a wreath or something.

Eddie answers with that heart stopping smile, dressed in a blue sweater Steve is 90% certain he snatched from Robin who stole it from him some time last year.

He doesn’t give Eddie much time to greet him, holding out a small green bag with a red bow.

“What’s this, Steve?”

Eddie’s eyebrows pinch together, his smile not quite dropped, more slanting into a look of gentle confusion.

“It’s a present. I couldn’t wait until tomorrow, so…”

Steve does a ‘here we are’ motion with his hands, pushing the present towards Eddie once again.

The movement seems to reactivate Eddie, who pulls Steve into the warmth of his living room with a shiver.

“You got me a present?” Eddie inquires the moment the door was closed behind them, protecting them from the bitingly cold air.

“Of course. Can’t have Christmas without the gifts, can you?” Steve laughs.

“Christmas,” Eddie repeats after him a bit dubiously.

“Yeah, I suppose you can’t,” he shrugs, as if he doesn’t know.

“Exactly, so!” Steve extends the bag towards Eddie once again, shaking it enticingly.

Eddie’s nose scrunches in that way it does when he’s very carefully considering something.

“Steve. As much as I appreciate the constant stream of hot cocoa and holiday cheer you’ve been bombarding me with for the past week, I gotta ask. What gives? Why are you doing all this?”

Steve sighs.

“Well, I…” he starts, licking his lips as he tries to sort out his jumbled thoughts before continuing.

“To tell the truth, I overheard you telling Gareth that you’ve never had a real Christmas before. I… I’ve always loved Christmas. It’s the only holiday my parents would stay home for- well, up until I turned 16, that is. So, I guess I just… wanted to give you one. A real Christmas, that is.”

Eddie presses his lips together into a thin line, his usually open expression strangely unreadable as he considers Steve closely.

He nods when he seems to come to a conclusion, reaching his hands out towards the little bag and clenching and unclenching his fingers as if to say:

“Gimme.”

Steve smiles and hands over the gift bag, his stomach turning somersaults like an Olympic gymnast.

Eddie tears through the tissue paper, sending it flying to litter across the carpet, until his fingers find the occupant of the bag; a single Polaroid.

He fixes Steve with a raised eyebrow before letting his eyes fall back down to take in the picture.

“Alright,” Eddie nods as if he’s trying to understand a joke, mirth-filled gaze landing back on Steve over the Polaroid.

“Ok, Stevie. Very funny.”

Steve can’t help the smirk that overtakes his own face.

“And it’s all yours,” he assures him, playing into the playful tone as he watches Eddie survey the snapshot of the guitar; a BC Rich Warbeast with a glossy black body and a cherry red flame motif.

“I’ll cherish it, Big Boy,” Eddie snorts good naturally, pressing the image to his chest with a dramatic little sigh.

“I sure hope you will,” Steve nods.

“It cost me most of my savings up front, and I still have payments to make on it for the next few months.”

Eddie eyebrows scrunch together at that, that puzzled look from before returning to his face as he pulls the picture back up to take a closer look.

“Steve, wha- this… is this in your living room in this pic- Did you…”

Steve watches as several emotions crossed Eddie’s face; confusion, bewilderment, disbelief, and then, finally, understanding.

“Steve…” he says in what’s barely a whisper, Steve leaning in a bit closer to hear him.

“Did you… did you actually…”

He can’t seem to finish the sentence, so Steve takes it upon himself to answer him.

“I know you’ve been missing your old one. It’s not the same, but it’s the closet I could find and it’s waiting for you under the tree at my place. I had to drive all the way to Indy for it, and it’s not new, but I checked it out and it’s only lightly used. The scratches were easy enough to buff out, and Jeff helped to make sure it was-“

Steve grunts at the sudden impact of a body against his, warmth flooding through him as Eddie wraps him up in the tightest hug he’s even been given in his life.

He can’t help the surprised laugh that escapes him, sputtering as some of Eddie’s hair gets in his mouth. He winds his own arms around Eddie’s waist, pulling him somehow closer and simply breathing him in.

“You are unbelievable,” Eddie breathes as he gives him a solid squeeze before pulling back, though he doesn’t relinquish his hold on Steve’s shoulders.

“So, I’m guessing you like it?” Steve asks through his smile.

“Like it? Stevie, I… I could honestly kiss you right now! You’re damn lucky there’s no mistletoe here, or else-“

Eddie’s words die out as Steve digs in his pocket, pulling out and raising up high above their heads a little sprig of mistletoe with the most charming smile he can muster.

He prays his nerves don’t show through as Eddie’s eyes meet his, wide with shock as they flicker back and forth between them and the mistletoe.

“Damn lucky,” Steve says, his tone steady with resolve even as his hand shakes.

In the next second Eddie’s lips meet his and it’s everything he could’ve ever dreamed of.

It’s everything every single cheesy little Christmas RomCom promises.

Magic.

When they finally part, both breathless and dazed and smiling like complete idiots, Steve tugs Eddie in close by his pilfered sweater.

“So? Was this a good first Christmas?”

Eddie’s eyebrows raise up and he honest to god giggles.

“Considering Christmas is tomorrow, I’d say it’s a pretty solid start.”

Steve allows himself a very John Bender-like fist pump, much to Eddie’s amusement as he pulls him into another kiss.

“As sweet as this is, Sweetheart,” Eddie whispers against his lips, hands fisting in the fabric of his sweater to hold him nice and close, which is lucky considering how hard Steve swoons at the word “sweetheart”.

“I feel the need to ask.”

“Anything,” Steve promises, nudging Eddie’s nose with his own as he presses a couple more gentle kisses against his grinning mouth.

“You know I’m Jewish, right?”

………

I might turn this into an actual multi chapter fic. Let me know if that’s something y’all would want!

#no Steve did not know that #steddie ficlet #steddie fic #Steddie #jewish eddie munson #I’m so glad that’s a tag #steve harrington/eddie munson

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orangewisteria · 1 year

Note

Hi! I'm the anon who asked you if you wrote for s//lf h//rm, so I'm here to request something related to it, that been said.

⚠TW: S3LF H4RM⚠ ⚠If you are triggered by this theme please do not interact, we care about your mental state! Thanks⚠

If it's not a problem could you maybe write separate headcanons for Cody, Alejandro, Duncan and Scott with a gn!s/o who they find h4rming theirself?

Thank you and Hope you have a nice day! <3

ᴰᴼᴺᵀ ᴴᵁᴿᵀ ᵞᴼᵁᴿˢᴱᴸᶠ ᴮᴬᴮᵞ

⚠ TW: S3LF H4RM ⚠

⚠ If you are triggered by this theme please do not interact, we care about your mental state! Thanks ⚠

ᶜᵒᵈʸ

-> hes crying a fucking waterfall when he finds you

-> hes trying not to hug you so tight and never letting you go

-> hes frantically running around to gather badnages, napkins, etc etc to help clean up your cuts

-> Hes desperately babbling to you and pleading with you to never ever do this again

-> Saying how if you need to talk to someone or rant or feel like hurting yourself to talk to him

-> Please for the love of all that is unholy in this world talk. to. him.

-> hes not going to let you out of his sight for a while

-> hes gonna baby proof his house now

-> going as far as to lock the coupards that contain chemicals and sharp objects

-> he contemplates getting a safe but goes against it cause he knows for a fact hell forget the password and have to buy new knives for his mother

-> he lives with his mother btw its facts

-> back to the topic at hand

-> he more careful aroudn you

-> treating you like porcelain cause he doesn't want to accidentally heart you (due to your recent injuries)

-> he calls them boo boos by the way

-> hes loving and is willing to do anything to help you

ᵃˡᵉʲᵃⁿᵈʳᵒ

-> hes clsoe to tears

-> hes keeping himself composed so he doesnt break down and panic right at that moment

-> hes carefully dressing your wounds and whispering his worries

-> hes calling you all the name sin teh book

-> princesa, carina/o, etc etc

-> i dont know much spanish lolz

-> anyways

-> once youre all cleaned up and in bed

-> hes holding you close and running his hands along your back

-> hes not going to let you out of his sight or out of arms reach for the next few months

-> he worried

-> he doesnt want to lose the lvoe of his life

-> hes trying not to break down each passing day as he sees the bandages on your body

-> hes runs his fingers over them daily, hes frowning as he does so

-> he changes them daily for you too

-> wont let you do it cause hes going to take care of you

-> hes a worried dead donkey :(

ᵈᵘⁿᶜᵃⁿ

-> hes frozen when he finds you

-> hes confused and worried and angry

-> he wants to know hy

-> why would you hurt yourself

-> why why why why

-> thats all thats on his mind

-> as well as the fact that hes blaming himself for letting you get this low when he most likely could have prevented it

-> hes slowly and uncharacteristically quiet as he helps cleaning up your wounds

-> bandaging them and staring at the with no emotion whatsoever

-> hes pulling you to bed and laying on your chest

-> hes just laying there and listening to your heartbeat

-> his arms are around your waist and hes unusually quiet for the next few days

-> he doesnt want to leave the house cause hes feeling down and soft and yada yada

-> he loves you and would do anything for you so hes a but angry at himself and trying to deal with it

-> give him some time and hes back to his normal self with a hint of more care and softness for you <3

ˢᶜᵒᵗᵗ

-> Hes wailing and blubbering out words you cant understand as he bandages you up to the best of his ability

-> its not the best and his fumbling words nd shit are making you laugh at the stupid words you can't even understand

-> hes glaring at you while sniffling but he understadns somewhat why youre laughing

-> although hes puffing his cheeks and pulling you clsoe

-> hes mad at you for laughing but he hears himself and blushes bright red

-> hes holding you close and never letting go

-> hes just here man

-> he doesnt know what to do at this point

-> so he just holds you close to comfort himself and you at the same time

-> i dont have much for him due to the fact that hes not too good with words

-> he tries to comfort you verbaly and shit

-> but he sucks at it

-> hes better with physical contact

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heartlilith · 5 months

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My Placements and How They Manifest

Capricorn Ascendent:

My mother told me that when she gave birth to me, it was worse than my other 3 other siblings by far. She had to be induced because there was no sign of me wanting to come out into the world (lol). She said she was in labor for hours and when I finally came out, she started hemorrhaging. It wasn't fatal obviously because she's alive today but yeah, I kind of associate that with my Capricorn rising. Still to this day, change is very uncomfortable for me especially if I have no control over what's happening. My childhood was great until my mom divorced my dad and remarried, that's when shit went south! I had new siblings, a stepfather, and had to see my dad heartbroken while also battling melanoma and being laid off (2008 recession). My sister stayed with him and I went with my mom. They were always fighting and spiting each other but it was my sister and I that missed out. It was always "what is your father saying about me?" yada yada yada. Growing up, I was bullied by my sister a lot, in my opinion, it was more than the usual sibling fights. My mom also took a lot of her anger out on me; she ended up getting a divorce not too long after remarrying, became an alcoholic and filed for bankruptcy. Being a Capricorn rising and dealing with the backlash of that, I always have money saved, ALWAYS. I'm like a squirrel hiding nuts I stg. If I'm completely broke I'm an anxious mess. It's also why I strive to be independent and self sufficient. It's why I manifest being filthy rich. High school was terrible tbh and I battled with depression and anxiety. College was a lot better and moving away from my mom and chaotic family did me well, I went from a 2.6 GPA in high school to 3.85 in college. Rereading this it sounds kinda like a sob story and that's not what I'm trying to accomplish so I'm just going to move on.

1st House Neptune, Uranus, Lilith:

I made a separate post either on here or Reddit about how my features have changed so much over the years. As a child, my hair was blonde then it turned blonde/red in late elementary school. Since then, it's turned darker and darker through the years. Now it's dark brown. My eyes were dark blue as a child and now they're light green - I attribute this to Uranus and Neptune being on my Ascendent. In my opinion, I'm not photogenic at all (Cap rising?) and I think I look different in every picture I take or is taken of me. With Lilith being in my first house, I was sexualized a lot growing up by older guys/men. And also bullied by boys my age; I remember they thought I was "too girly". Guys, I shit you not after I had enough of it, I started showing up with boy shorts and those tank tops guys wear HAHAHA to be more of a "tomboy"... I'm not really sure what that is but yeah, I must've been 10 or 12 or something. People would always say "it's because they have a crush on you/because they like you!" and I would be so confused. Nowadays, I think I rub some people, specifically men, the wrong way and they dislike me for "no reason", or maybe they have a reason but they never come out and say it. My Uranus in the 1st shows up as being quirky I guess? I'm not really sure. Maybe it's that my parents were never disciplinary at all, I could do whatever I wanted. At the time I loved it but deep down I think I wanted to them to care, so I would act more and more reckless. Today, maybe that sets me apart. One last thing about Neptune/Uranus in the 1st is that I can't stand to see people treating people/animals/or what have you, the wrong way. I can't even watch Youtube videos of animals starting off abused... even if the videos end with them being happy and healthy, I CAN'T DO IT. It deeply disturbs me.

Side Note (1st House Lilith):

As a small child I was obsessed with being naked all the time and skinny dipping LMFAO like it was a problem. Luckily there were no creeps and I was fine but would this placement indicate that in anyway? Let me know because it doesn't really fit with my Capricorn rising.

(I'm really sorry this post is so long and detailed I think I'm having word vomit)

Virgo Moon:

As a child I was really reserved and "chill". I already talked about my relationship with my mom and she was critical and whatever. One thing that sticks out about this placement is that she would always push the idea on me to "stay pure" and to "stay innocent", especially when I was a teen. Always pushing this on me. Always telling her friends I was "naive" and yeah maybe I was in a sense. I don't know it's weird how that fits. My mom wasn't all bad though. She definitely had many faults but she was a great mom in certain aspects. Growing up, I realized she's just a human like me, with problems of her own. I don’t hold it against her. Today, my Virgo moon makes me sooo anxious and worrisome. I definitely see the negative qualities it brings but the good qualities out weigh them. I love buying people gifts and I'm a great gift giver if I do say so myself. With my Capricorn rising and Virgo moon, I hate PDA and it can be hard for me to be lovey dovey (even with all my Leo), so I show love by buying gifts - kind of like my dad. My parents were never there for me emotionally but they bought me great gifts hahaha, I guess that's why. Also I tend to "mother" my partners; I do their laundry, do the cleaning, make their doctor appointments, and take care of them in a sense - like my mom did for me. Writing this out I can now see why I am the way I am lol.

Moon square Jupiter, Pluto, and Saturn:

Ooooff. Well I won't dive into it too much. I will say it affects my mental health greatly and I've had a lot of trouble in that department. My Moon square Jupiter really makes my moods go up and down. Like high highs and low lows for sure. I try to look at it positively even though it's hard sometimes. Having the high highs brings out my inner child (Jupiter in the 5th). When I'm happy I'm really happy and giggling and silly. And of course the flip side is low low :( But I like the high highs so I deal. Also with this, I tend to avoid being sad at all costs. All costs. I'm a true escape artist when it comes to emotions. With Pluto and Saturn squaring my Moon, I am infact a MOODY BITCH. LOL, hey at least I can admit it. It brings intrusive thoughts, obsessive thinking, insecurity, and guilt with it too - all that great stuff. Moving on.

Cancer Mercury:

I like my Cancer Mercury a lot, even though it's paired with my all my Leo placements which can make me a ~smidge~ dramatic. I wasn't the best student in high school but I did take the hardest English courses they offered, which in hindsight saved my GPA lol. In college, I studied English with a concentration in creative writing. I mostly wrote and studied poetry which I loved so much. I'm a great listener and if I could write an advice column I would. I love how my Cancer Mercury makes me empathetic and how I'm able to put myself in anyone's shoes. One negative about this placement is that I get hurt easily (paired with Leo Sun and Virgo Moon esp), but I won't let you know I'm hurt, I'll just get angry and mean. I don't like that about myself and I wish I was more vulnerable in that aspect but it's easier to be angry than sad... right?

Leo Venus and Mars:

After talking about all the above placements, my Leo side is definitely my ray of sunshine in a way. I feel like with my Virgo Moon and the aspects it makes, it kinda settles my Leo ego. That's not to say I don't have an ego, I definitely do... just look at this post it's all about meee :) I have pictures of when I was 3-6 years old and flexing my muscles hahaha and I thought I was so strong I would go around and show everyone that I could pick my mom and older sister up. So weird. Other than that, when I dislike someone I tend to go on rant for awhile about everything I dislike about them. My least favorite thing is when someone makes me feel inferior or small, that will put me on 10 easily. I don't get mad all that much, it takes a lot but when I do get mad, I see red. Maybe cause I have Mars at 0 degrees. I do get over things quickly though, emotionally anyway, but I do hold a grudge. Also yesss, I have Leo hair. It's long and thick and hard to manage. Growing up, my mom would never let me color or cut it and I'm kinda glad now looking back on it.

8th house Moon & Venus:

This is why I hold grudges hahaha. In my opinion, the 8th house can be hard to understand/put into words until you experience it (in synastry, transit, natal, etc), then you just know. With Venus here, every person I'm romantically involved with transforms me but also takes a piece of me as well. In my experience with the 8th house, you can gain a lot of good things but it comes with a price. Whether its a mix of my placements or just these placements specifically, love really hurts! Break ups have put me in dark dark places. When I do love someone, I want to merge with them, like become "one" if that makes sense. So when it comes to an end, I have a huge hole left. In my life, this has manifested as when I ran away from home to a different state and ghosted my family and friends just to get back together with my boyfriend, all on a whim. I'd give it all up for someone I love. With Virgo Moon being in my 8th house, my anxiety mixes with my obsessive behavior which manifests as dermotillamania. I struggle with it so bad. I'm working on it but yeah that's kinda interesting looking from an astrological sense. Moon in the 8th house gives me great intuition though... I'm always right about the vibes. But this comes at the cost of feeling things extremely deeply.

Scorpio MC:

This is another placement that I like about my chart because my Capricorn rising makes me come off as intimidating and my MC makes people see me as powerful and mysterious. I don't know if people actually see me this way but even it being a possibility gives me like Olivia Benson vibes. I love her. Anyway, one thing I will say is I don't have social media anymore and haven't for years (besides Tumblr and Reddit) because I really value my privacy. I don't like people knowing things about me unless I decide to share it with them, even small things. Tumblr and Reddit are okay in my mind because I don't know anyone in real life. But even this post I'm already thinking of deleting and I haven't even posted it yet lol. When I did have social media, I would overshare and then delete the post an hour later. I was always deleting pictures and revamping my aesthetic. I became obsessed with likes and comments and scrolling that it was too much and I didn't like the power it had over me. Something else that I think manifests from my MC is that I love psychology, astrology, and things that tie into personalities.

5th house Jupiter & Saturn:

It always confused me on how to interpret having Saturn, the planet of limitations and responsibility, and Jupiter, the planet of expansion and luck, in the same house. I thought that they canceled each other out in a way, or level each other out... is a better way of putting it. I actually messaged @astrosky33 and asked how they interpret it. Her (?) answer was interesting and made a lot of sense. Jupiter and Saturn in the same house gives off both energies at the same time (why didn't I think of that? lol). So for the 5th house, in terms of my hypothetical kids, I would be a parent that has fun and is silly but also strict in some ways and responsible. One way Saturn in my 5th house manifests is that I don't want to do anything creative unless I feel it's productive in some way, which I don't like about myself. Meaning, I don't want to read a book if the genre is fantasy, I would rather read non-fiction or a self help book; something that I can learn from. Also, I really like hobbies where I can produce something, like making candles or making spell jars. If I can make money from a hobby that I love then even better. Jupiter in the 5th house manifests as being child-like and also loving kids. If things are going well and I'm happy, then I can be excited and goofy like a child. If things aren't going well, then I can throw a tantrum like a child. I love kids because my early childhood was the best time of my life before life hit me upside the head (lol). This past Halloween, I made goodie bags for the trick or treaters and got so excited when the doorbell rang. I don't know, I just want to protect kids and shield them from the bad in the world. Kids, out of everyone, deserve to be happy.

Sun sextile Jupiter:

Things tend to work out for me, well, as of lately anyway. I struggled a lot growing up and I was always wishing my life were different. I couldn't wait to leave home. Now, I have a boyfriend who I love very much and we live very comfortably. I have a great job and I am so much happier than I was before. Of course, life isn't always perfect and there are problems at every turn. I wish I could go back in time and tell 15 year old me that everything is going to be okay, more than okay actually. I have a dog and two kittens who I love very much and I'm very fortunate to have the life that I do. I try to stay positive because there's no point in being negative and sulking all the time. Plus, you never know what can happen so be thankful for what you have, even if in your eyes, it isn't enough. I believe in being nice to people, you never know how far one act of kindness can go. Lord knows I needed it during some pretty tough times in my life.

Venus square Saturn (TW: Eating disorder, drug use, phobias):

Going back to having fear of abandonment and being uncomfortable with PDA... well here is the culprit. Or some of the culprit. Since Venus is in my 8th house, I feel like this aspect plays into my fear of my family dying, more specifically, my parents. Whenever I visit home and I see they look a little older, move a little slower, I get really sad. Their birthdays are supposed to be for celebrating but I can't help but get sad. It takes over me and I obsess about what I'm going to do when the day comes and they're not here anymore. I put on a brave face though and I buy them nice gifts and send flowers on holidays... but it's always in the back of my mind. This aspect also manifests as having low self esteem and growing up this was very prevalent. I didn't care about myself at all; I did drugs, I put myself into bad situations that I get anxiety just thinking about what could've happened. I had an eating disorder, dated boys that were awful. I'm fortunate that I made it out okay. I still have insecurities today but during that time in my life it was so intense because even as a teen without this aspect, you deal with insecurities. It was like double trouble.

If you read this far, thank you. I hope it was semi-interesting and Im really curious to know what you guys think. Should I make a part 2? I’m feeling a little “out there” by posting this so I hope it's not too much. Thanks again for taking the time to read this.

(let me know what you think!)

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animentality · 2 months

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Did they get a postive response from adding those Gortash lines? I thought a bunch of people hateing on it instead? Also what if they removed the lines to change them a go a diffrent direction. I'm sorry. I have a lot of worry they wont do something I agee with.

The overwhelming reaction was positive. Durgetash artists went on Twitter to celebrate, and the small but passionate fans of the ship went nuclear here and on Twitter, and helped BG3 trend, yada yada, tale as old as time.

Most people don't care about Durgetash or Gortash. The majority of people you hear from would be the people who like both of those things. It's also a small ship.

The haters of that ship are even smaller in comparison, because the hand that reaches out will always touch more than the hand clenched into a fist.

And the only "legitimate" complainers, who don't just dislike the ship on principle, are the whiners who keep insisting their durges are lesbians, and how dare Larian "force" them into a relationship with a man - which is literally not what Larian did.

No one bitches about how Gale's ORIGIN completely precludes him from being gay.

I see no reason why you can't similarly have Durge's ORIGIN make them attracted to men. Or, you know. Enver is special.

Oh. And also. It's so fucking platonic, if you want it to be. Stop being stupid and just say you don't like Durgetash. It's as easy as that.

Stop using "lesbophobic" as a handy label for your self righteous soapbox. You just don't like the ship, and that's fine. It's FINE. But acting like Durgetash is lesbophobic - oh, go play a Tav.

And also, Astarion and Gale and Wyll better not flirt with you in game, even though you can tell them to fuck off, or else they're lesbophobic too.

That's the only discourse that gained traction on Twitter. As far as I know.

If Larian had made Gale wear blackface or something, and people got pissed, then yeah. They'd back up on that, and get rid of it pronto.

But Durgetash???

Aside from the general evil antics, they're not that fucking controversial of a ship.

Most people don't even PLAY the Dark Urge.

I don't know how to stress this any other way...

People act like Durgetashers are loud - we're honestly not that loud.

Astarion fans are far louder, and yet, the most romanced companion is SHADOWHEART and then Laezel and KARLACH.

He's not even in the top 3. And yet, he dominates the content on Twitter and Tumblr... he's definitely more popular than Gortash or the Dark Urge or Durgetash together...but his fans are still technically the damn minority.

So Durgetash in comparison to Starries???

Infinitesimal.

And Durgetash haters?

Would be even smaller.

So what I'm saying is...

I'm kind of tired of answering asks about this.

I don't KNOW for certain whether or not this is Larian backing up or walking forward, and while I don't believe they'd walk back on this, and especially not for a handful of people, it kind of annoys me to even think about things outside of my control.

now if Larian makes a big grand statement and says actually we totally rescind something WE WROTE AND ADDED TO THE GAME because some people got mad...then I'll call them cucks, and complain.

But as of right now?

As far as I know personally, and assume in my heart... it's neutral.

The lines are probably just bugged. Also, not ALL of them are bugged either, so.

Please stop freaking out, guys.

I am the world's biggest resident durgetash freak, and I'm shrugging at this, and just saying it's a bug.

Don't let it bother you. It's out of your control, regardless.

(And I stress again - if we find out they're legitimately backing away from something they did...they have the spine of a ham sandwich. But until we know that for sure, I won't condemn them for this, because as far as we know, it is legitimately an accident.)

#durgetash #please stop asking me about this #i dont know what you want from me #i just dont think theyre walking back on it #peartree was totally different #after this addition too #even if they do alter lines i just believe its still going to be durgetash coded anyway #although if theyre changing them so soon lmao cuz theyre embarrassed and want to make them a little less #idk cheesy maybe #then damn larian you have no self esteem #stick to your fucking guns #dont you stand by your own writing at all #stop letting fans change how you write #grow a fucking spine #if youre gonna add durgetash then add durgetash #if youre gonna remove it then go ahead and be a bitch and remove the only character you bothered to give gortash #but dont sneak back and try to edit shit that you already sent out #but also im sorry if its just a hotfix bug #then this is me being mean for no reason and i apologize

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icaruspendragon · 1 year

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I know you've really struggled with the passing of your brother (and I'm sorry if this reminder is too painful) but if I may ask a personal question?

How do you motivate yourself? Because I look at you and I see that your life is hard and you maybe be struggling at times but you're still pushing forwards- and I want to be able to do that. I want to try to better myself but it's like every time I start, I spiral deeply and I have to crawl my way back up, never truly making progress.

So how do you motivate yourself?

cw for discussions/mentions of suicide, death, and grief:

it was 6:30 am on my twenty-fifth birthday when i woke up to my mother standing in my bedroom, my husband already awake and dressed and next to her. i knew something was wrong. she wished me a happy birthday and then said she had to tell me something. the first words out of my mouth were “is this going to ruin my day?” and she said, “yes, it is. your brother is gone.”

i still have not found the words to describe the everything that happened inside of me in that moment. i don’t think they exist. despite this, i continue my search.

at the time, i had just embarked on my mission to create meaningful chaos (which can be summed up as doing good things in weird ways) because i had realized my platform on tiktok gave me the privilege to have more of an impact than most. and i wanted to use this privilege to help who and where and how i could. my entire plan for my birthday was to commit acts of chaotic kindness and ask my followers to do the same. instead i had to try and come to terms with my brother killing himself.

i had to start planning a funeral.

i made a video sharing what had happened because i had been hinting at my birthday plan for weeks and wanted to give my followers an explanation as to why it was no longer going to. and because i felt compelled to make sure that something good came out of that horrible day.

and to my bittersweet amazement, tens of thousands of people took heed my call for chaotic kindness. in the days and weeks that followed my brother’s suicide thousands of dollars were donated to a plethora of charities. thousands of dollars were sent to me. day after day after day my po box was overflowing with cards and letters and offers of comfort. an incomprehensible number of strangers saw my sorrow and my hurt and my pain and they decided to try and counteract it by putting as much good into the world as they could. they eased the weight of my grief by picking some up, not because i asked them to or because they had to, but because they saw an absence of good and decided they could create some.

it was these acts of kindness done by strangers on the internet that gave me the strength to put one lead laden foot in front of the other. their kindness gave me the strength to spread my own. these people gave me the determination to try and return some of their kindness to the universe and those in it who desperately need it. i needed something good to come out of my brother’s death. even if it were one life saved or one person helped with the story of him taking his own, it would be enough.

then, i got a card in my po box that kinda changed my life.

the card was sent by a stranger as most of the mail i receive is.

this is what they wrote:

in my almost 24 years of existence i have searched far and wide, for an answer. i have looked and looked, for a while, long before i even knew what i was looking for. the answer to the question that every Human Being has at some point asked.

Why?

“What Is The Meaning of Life?”… why are we all here…. what is it all for… yada yada yada

and time and time again, i have failed to find one. the best i can come up with is that we are just here for shits and giggles and you should try not to be a dick. just have some happy moments when you can and don’t actively cause damage.

however you, dear berklie…

you have decided to break through neutrality. you, in your quest to spread Meaningful Chaos have entered the terrifying realm of Positivity. you, in this cold, dark universe that is constantly trying to snuff out the light, have fished in you pocket, pulled out a lighter and started committing arson.

and for that, you have my utmost respect, awe, and if i am being honest, envy. it is no easy task to stand up and say ‘fuck this. there can be good. and where i cannot find it, i will create it.’

that last sentence has rattled about in my brain every single day since reading it. the words this stranger wrote for me, about me were so incredibly profound. i wanted to be the person they wrote about, so i started looking everywhere for ways to create good.

i will say, the projects i come up with to help with my creation of good are also distractions so i do not have to be left alone with my thoughts and my grief, so they’re not entirely for selfless reasons.

with every single word tenderly crafted and given to me about how i have helped someone in someway somehow my need to do more for more people, grows.

so anon, here are some words tenderly crafted for you.

this world is awful and terrible and overwhelming and isolating and in desperate need of change.

in terrible need of good.

but how can i, as one single person, change anything? there’s just too much.

i am here to tell you that you canchange this world or change yourself or change something because you’re not alone.

if enough one single persons get together, everything looks a lot less awful and a lot less lonely, and all of those one single persons doing what they can becomes an entire group of people making what they think are meaningless little changes, but are meaningful acts to be both seen and felt.

in the six months since my brother took his own life, i’ve had dozens and dozens of people tell me that my grief was their sign not to do the same to their families. i’ve had hundreds and hundreds of people tell me that seeing my grief was helping them feel less lonely in their own. i’ve helped raise over 20,000 for charities all across the globe not because i had 20,000 dollars to give, but because i exist in a community of people who want to do good. it is easier to get one hundred people to give five dollars than to get one person to give five hundred dollars. the change enacted because of that act will be felt the same by the people who need it. they don’t care that it was a hundred people doing what most would consider to be nothing. they care that it happened at all.

it matters not the size of the gesture, it is the effort in doing something at all.

i’m motivated because i know i’m not alone in my attempts to make good where i cannot find it.

neither are you.

i hope this helps you in some way.

i’m rooting for you. we all are.

and just know, i have a spare lighter for you.

#asks #long post #death cw #grief cw #suicide cw

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gongustheawsome01 · 3 months

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Headache! SO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!!

IM JUST GONNA SIT YOU DOWN AND MAKE YOU LISTEN TO WHAT I THINK THE EVIL WORLD OF EVIL PIZZA TOWER WOULD GO BUT ITS NOT IN ORDER AND ITS JUST HEADCANNONS!

MR STICKS AND BURTON ARE DIVORCED NOT SORRY! ( Mr sticks became too obsessed with getting his revenge on the Italian. )

Gustavo has essentially taken peppinos throne of being the most miserable cast member! Is balding! Aaaannnnddd *pulls out a random card* has really really REALLY CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH! Let himself go.

Bricks become the one cast member that's mentally stable it's kinda ironic it's the pest that's having the best time! Except also maybe not because he has to see his owner suffer everyday..

OC STUFF Vicky now works for Peppino it was that or death sooo.. sucks to suck!

Vicky also wants to kill Peppino ( shocker I know! )

Im trying to inspire the evil alternative universe kinda off of how old cartoons tried to get away with a lot of stuff ( ex ren and stinpy and courage the cowardly dog ) with their imagery and wording ( like instead of someone's eyes getting torn out on screen you only see the SILHOUETTE of them getting their eyes torn out! So it's good for the kids to watch I'm sure they won't be mortified beyond comprehension!.. right? )

Blah blah blah something something Peppino may or may not have killed a few people yada yada

I kinda inspired Mr sticks off of Dr. Horrible form Dr. Horribles Sing Along Blog I'm not gonna explain how though

Pizza head is BAKED. I mean. Like actually like. He was burnt to a crisp. Like. He is ashes. Like. He is nothing but magma. Like- Ok you get the point.

Mr sticks and Vicky are frenemies.. kinda.. later on down the line though they turn into enemies. SWORN enemies! Ok well.. maybe not sworn.. BUT STILL! ENEMIES NON THE LESS!

*sighs* man I sure do love making cartoon characters suffer.. and the French! But that's all I've got for this evening! Tune in for next time folks! Who knows! I might even change something!

#pizza tower #pizza tower oc #evil peppino #peppino #peppino spaghetti #mr sticks #mr sticks pizza tower #gustavo #gustavo pizza tower #I'm not sure if I should tag pizza head or Burton #only mention of the two is horrible events!#vicky vargeth

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some-pers0n · 8 hours

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Back on my Peril ramblings again guys

Peril is a character with a lot of polarizing opinions. You've got some people who love her to death, while others who, well, don't. The people who dislike her will go about how she's obsessive. Too clingy and relies far too much on Clay. That or go on about how she's just rude, mean, dangerous, and overall kind of a bad person. I...couldn't disagree more if I'll be blunt.

For starters, Peril is in a difficult situation. She was molded and shaped by her childhood. What she is now is a product of being raised as a living weapon. She was seen as being dangerous and a blight on dragon society. A hazard that, at any moment, could kill somebody. She is danger. She is peril.

Scarlet took hold of that. Scarlet manipulated this tiny dragonet that she stole away from her mother and raised her, feeding her lies in order to keep her docile and dependent. She was never alone. Never to act on her own accord. Anything she did was first of all approved by Scarlet, somebody she trusted and loved in a way. All Peril ever knew was hate and fear, so a dragon showing her any other emotions felt like love.

Peril is...unstable to say the very least. Like I just said, she's got a warped sense of relationships due to her upbringing. She has literally nobody outside the walls of the SkyWing palace. She clings to those she deems as friends and loved ones as she knows nothing else. She craves that feeling of love and especially touch. She has never known the love of a mother's hug. She has never felt the wings of a friend comforting her in a time of crisis. She only wants to be held and loved, but she cannot. She was born wrong. She is unlovable in her eyes. That's what everyone tells her at least.

It's when Clay comes along that things change. For once, she's seeing a dragon who, while still kinda scared of her...is respectful. He holds conversations with her. He's nice, friendly, and when she hears that he tried killing his troop, she immediately relates. It's one of those things that I feel Sick about, where in Clay and Peril both are deemed to be monsters since the moment they hatched when in reality they weren't at fault for anything. Clay and Peril are so good when you actually treat them like characters.

The point is that Peril sees herself in Clay. For the first time ever, she finds a dragon like her. A dragon that at the very least tolerates her. After years of abuse and being shunned and seen as nothing more than a monster, it's basically like Clay is giving her a boquete of roses and confessing his undying love.

She becomes obsessed, even more so when she's eventually free from Scarlet, but that comes later. She holds him to such high regards and views him as a dragon she wants to be around. She's easily jealous when other dragons talk to him. She's protective and constantly wants to be near him. She adores him.

Yada yada, the whole fight scene happens between her and Clay. Scarlet notices that Peril is rather fond of Clay and is using her emotions to manipulate her further. Again, Scarlet is extremely manipulative of Peril. She's the one who molded her into this. She's the one who was responsible for this. She's the one who made Peril feel as though all she could ever be in life was a murder machine, and that Scarlet was doing her a favour by letting that be her existence as opposed to killing her. Scarlet made Peril dependent on her.

So when she's gone...Peril feels lost. She feels like she's the blame for one of the very, very few dragons in her life that at least cared about her being gone. Now she's alone and seen once again as a creep. A weirdo. She doesn't belong here, not in the Sky Kingdom. Osprey is dead (another example of Scarlet toying with Peril's emotions cause the one time she acts out she has to suffer for it) and she's just tossed into the world without warning.

She in turn seeks out Scarlet, eventually finding her. Despite all of the abuse and suffering that Scarlet has put her through, she has nobody else. Scarlet's twisted and distorted love is the only thing she knows. She feels guilty for everything that happened to her.

I think it's easy for people to not really understand Peril if they don't really get her situation. What I lay it out, it sounds pretty easy to understand. Peril is a deeply traumatized and abused character who is shaped by her trauma and struggles to exist in this world as she only knows to kill. She's trying to unlearn all of this. She wants to be better. She's trying to be better.

That's what Escaping Peril is all about: Peril's recovery.

Escaping Peril is the conclusion to Peril's arc, with her coming to grips and terms with her trauma and by the end realizing that she is her own person. Over the course of the book, she struggles a lot. She goes back and forth on her feelings with Scarlet, conflicted on whether she loves her or wants to kill her. Perhaps both at the same time. It's messy and she feels lost and hopeless.

The only real thing that seems to be a beacon of light in her life is Clay, whom is basically not even in this book. Clay is her moral compass here. Anything she does has to be something she believes Clay would approve of. She's doing the exact same thing that she's done for years with Scarlet because, yet again, it's literally the only thing she knows. She is a deeply hurt character who struggles with the whole morality thing because ever since she was a dragonet she's been a child solider. She's trying to unlearn it all.

Which is helped significantly with her friends, namely Turtle. She isn't alone. She has a group of dragons who care for her and like her the way she is. Again, the themes of friendship and togetherness is a very strong one in this arc. The Jade Winglet learn how to be themselves and how they don't need to pretend to be somebody they aren't with a group of dragons who love them for who they are.

Peril...learns. She learns. She grows. I cannot emphasize this enough since some of you guys still don't get that part. Her character shifts and changes and develops over the course of this book. She learns that she doesn't need to depend on somebody for her own actions. Hell, by the end of the book, she burns the scroll of her own volition, knowing fully well that Clay would've hated that. She's acting of her own accord. She learns that she's not a monster and doesn't need to have her flamescales be repressed to be liked.

She's a deeply traumatized character who is trying to get better. She has been getting better, and she will only get better with time. She's happy now. She's happy with her friends and loved ones. Everything will be okay.

#wof #sp-rambles #wings of fire #peril wof #She's also got BPD trust me I'm literally Tui

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tempenensis · 10 months

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hi Lele-san, im interested in your interpretation of Geto’s downfall.

so obviously, he was traumatized, but what I find interesting is his and Gojo’s rivalry and what part it played in his life. the way i see it, before purple, Gojo and Geto, on a surface level were similar in stats (but Gojo seemed more capable even then) and I guess you could call them rivals. though Gojo is leading, I think. but sure, rivals. and after Toji, that all changed really fast. suddenly the difference in Gojo’s and Geto’s powers was significant and very visible.

so what I understand happened is that Geto suddenly became aware of just how much they weren’t rivals(?) i think that is emphasized by: Gojo demonstrating Limitless to Geto and Shoko; Nanami saying that the jujutsu world could just send Gojo to do everything; Geto’s famous parting words to Gojo. and after that he felt utterly useless, and decided to go his own way, try to complete a task he knew was impossible, and gather followers- which made him feel powerful and capable. of course, there is the morality point: how unneeded and unnecessary the regular people are and yada yada. you get the main gist.

if I’m correct, Geto’s feelings were: desperation, sadness and jealousy- but then, the popular interpretation of the whole manga is that Geto did it all for Gojo? like, because the jujutsu society used Gojo for everything, Geto wanted to make Gojo’s life easier? i don’t get that. am I wrong? did I interpret the whole arc incorrectly?

Hi, hello, anon. This is interesting question.

Firstly, I wouldn't actually call them rivals, as they didn't try to compete with each other. In the flashback arc, they are introduced more like two sides of a coin; similar in strength but with contrasting views. While Gojou thought of being a jujutsushi is like a troublesome job, protecting the weak, Getou thought of it as a duty - "with great power comes great responsibility" actually painted his view well during this time.

"survival of the weak", that's how an ideal society should be. helping the weak and keeping the strong in check. listen, Satoru, jujutsushi exists to protect non-jujutsushi

Rather than Getou realizing how much of NOT rivals they were, I think the situation is more complex. But it boils down to the unfairness of jujutsushi system. Riko was very important to them and they protected her risking their life; her death was brushed aside when Tengen can be stabilized even without her. Haibara was a close friend, and his death just meant that he wasn't strong enough, he can be replaced by other jujutsushi - hence Nanami said that Gojou should and can handle everything by his own. As he realized this unfairness, Gojou growing stronger feeds into his insecurity - that only the strong is needed in the jujutsu society. It is the opposite of what he believed, that the strong must protect the weak. However, all he saw is that their death, at the end of it, were meaningless for the jujutsu society.

And then when he met Yuki, he learned that cursed spirits exist only because of non-jujutsushi who jujutsushi supposed to protect with their lives. And this means that the cursed spirits are infinity compared to jujutsushi that sacrificed their lives. Everything that they did, doing, will be done, is just meaningless in front of such unending force. This is why he keeps insisting on "meaning".

And all this is what drove Getou to finally go his own way, with the aim to reshape the society.

And to reduce this... complex idea that shape the core of Getou's character to just "for Gojou".... I'm sorry, I can't accept that, as Getou is one of the more complex characters in the series, with one of the best character developments.

#le-ask #jjk #getou suguru #jjk manga spoilers #eta forgot about the meaning

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wander-wren · 11 days

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almost escaped the anti-ao3 posts this donation round but of course today i get smacked with a few, so i go hunting for this year’s arguments, which, as expected, touch a lot on palestine.

what i’m seeing here is a shitton of inflammatory language and very few sources, and even fewer sources that aren’t screenshots of That One Tweet. most of the arguments from both sides are made on things that aren’t entirely true. i dislike this. so let’s clear the air a bit, hm?

1) ao3 is a racist/zionist organization

ao3 has had its scandals, including the 2023 management scandal in its full glory, which you can read about at the linked fanlore article. that covers several different areas where ao3 messed up. i will not defend these instances. i will, however, point out that very few of the current anti-ao3 posts mention them.

additionally, there is this fanlore article specifically about the issue wherein a volunteer was told to remove “from the river to the sea, palestine will be free” from their status, which is the singular piece of evidence referenced for ao3’s zionism. it has been spread that the otw banned or kicked out this volunteer, which is untrue; they left voluntarily. the otw also offered to allow the volunteer in question to change the status to “i stand with palestine,” communicating the same message in a less polarizing way.

you are allowed to dislike this decision. i do. but the otw slack is first and foremost a professional space, and they are within their rights to ask for political discussion to be kept out—or, in this case, to a politics channel so it can be opted out of. i am not currently aware of anyone having asked the otw board to ban or otherwise address pro-israel sentiments in the slack server, so i cannot actually make any statements about unequal decisions, because those decisions were not made.

ultimately i do not disagree that otw/ao3 have made poor choices rooted in racism in the past, but i also believe many of these posts discussing it now are performative, inflammatory, and misleading, which is not helpful

2) donating to ao3 during a genocide is bad/selfish/racist/etc

there are always problems in the world. this is literally the same argument as every previous year with new paint on it. people can care about more than one thing.

3) ao3 is a scam/mismanages money/gets more than they need/is horrible for not paying volunteers

here is a post i made last year breaking down ao3’s budget. what’s funny is, i saw a post going on for paragraphs about how they “calculated” that ao3 has 2.8 million in reserves (assuming their 2023 numbers shook out, it is like $1.5 million at best. these numbers are public and easy to find) and that they have “no idea” what to do with it and are deliberately not being transparent about it (they have publicly stated in news posts exactly what that money is for).

one very confusingly-worded post seemed to argue that it is morally wrong to have volunteer library workers, which is the same as ao3? something about master’s degrees? i just thought that was funny because. like. what. do you think the volunteers are the ones with a master’s in library science, friend?

also, people have said it’s a scam because they don’t update the site, and i’m like….what do you want them to update, exactly? i just want more tags wrangled. i suppose that translates to me wanting an update on the servers or whatever bit of hardware is limiting the tag system. otherwise i don’t see why you have to fix a good thing.

4) ao3 hosts evil bad fanfiction

ah, the age-old “child porn” argument. or racism is a big one this year. do i have to get into this one? it’s so goddamn annoying. just read the about page or a wiki article with your eyes. anti-censorship. yada yada yada. also, if you use the phrase “child porn” i do not respect you or take you seriously.

okay, first of all, fanfiction does not meet the definition of csam. it’s fanfiction. it’s fiction. there are tags for a reason. none of it is illegal. most of it has been published in real books for money before. you can hate it, but it deserves to exist, and with the way explicit material is getting deleted off the internet (see: wattpad’s new policies, google drive’s new policies), ao3 is a last bastion in the storm.

5) you should check out end-otw-racism for more helpful info

honestly i thought this movement was dead by now, but i’ve seen a lot of it mentioned today so i went to check. some things i found, scrolling alllll the way back to august:

a pinned post from SEVEN months ago that is several paragraphs of back-patting from the mods about how much “work” and “goals” have been accomplished and how grateful they are to the community. no mention whatsoever of what those goals were or what specifically was accomplished. also says the mods are going on break for a while, which presumably is still in effect

a few posts about the otw’s board meetings for various months, each rehashing how a board meeting runs and when the next one is being held. no information about what questions or comments the organization wants to focus on for each meeting or specific actions supporters should take

post about substack being a nazi site now (this is the only post i fully respect)

more board meeting reminders of no substance

a post reviewing the board elections, going over each candidate. the post acknowledges that no candidates mentioned the campaign or its specific goals, and instead grasps at vaguely related topics as if to show the volunteers are listening to them and they have done something

more board meeting reminders

a post about an update to the board’s strategic plan for 2023, which also acknowledges that the update does not really do anything end-otw-racism wanted it to do. many instances of “could have been a great opportunity to” do what they wanted. this one DOES finally state eotwr’s “recommendations” for the next strategic plan update, which literally all boil down to “more transparency,” which i suppose is fair enough

absolutely NO mention of palestine whatsoever

post on the weibo scandal, which is fine but generic, and again, not something brought up ever again despite being made in AUGUST

here i will give you a reminder that some of eotwr’s goals, particularly the ones around moderation and censorship, were unrealistic given the otw’s mission. while i believe eotwr started with good intentions, it seems to have rapidly dissolved into something performative and did not have solid enough organization to actually make any difference. their silence on palestine (and they are still posting despite the “break”) also makes bringing them up in convos about otw’s potential zionist leanings very weird.

at the end of the day, support ao3 or don’t. your morals and reasonings are your own. just don’t lie about them in ways that can be easily disproved, mkay?

this discourse also made me realize it’s been a minute since i reblogged a proper donations masterpost for palestine, so i am on the hunt for a good, up-to-date one now. feel free to link me any you know of.

#ao3 #anti ao3 #pro ao3 #otw #otw board #wren wrambles #wren attempts fucking nuance on the piss on the poor website #i’m problem going to regret posting this but fuck it #stop spreading misinformation #and maybe i wouldnt have to

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visionthefox · 7 months

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sams rant of the day yes- yes KC was half right - BM has been nothing but tool for everyone- and I even say! a tool for Ruin too! BUT BUT Im the only one who think KC is a hypocrite? like, he is on a high horse talking about having a purpose and that him changing is good and yada yada... but- my dude- you said they are part of your code- they are a mini you after all and you did used them too so like- why does KC still insult them ? look down on them? when KC first tried to fight back his need of Blood - he suffered a lot! (remember? when Earth talked no stop over how she was gonna be a good sister meanwhile KC was holding on so much pain?) KC does mention he decide to go against his programming and now understands life, and that kiling will never make BM trully happy-

I agree on that.. but also, KC was also helped to not be who they used to be! he was lucky! that he meet Freedy- he was Lucky! that Moon didnt killed him in the spot and rather gaved him a new life.. Kill Code was lucky! BloodMoon had no one being kind to him- oh wait-Lunar was nice- oh no wait, he used them too- no one was nice to BM, no one told him why he could be kind, be good! like, actually talk him down- give him a powerpoint presentation as to "why being good is actually poggers!" just like KC-BM have a curse on their sytem, they can not stop killing and eating! that would be a torture! I dont want KC back, he's of no use of the show and also, he now only made the twins feel more anger to everyone, what KC did was not hepfull if anything, now BM will be close to the only person who doesnt want to change them, who gets them.. "for real" (I mean Ruin here- who I believe is also a liar but he at least puts on a show) I may be bias here too, but I dont see why BM should stop being evil, or change to be "a good robot" just like I never lked KC being sentient and then having a body.. if only KC had stayed like Venom? that would make sense that is the only route I see the twins taking if they are forced to play the good guys, be like movie Venom- and by that I mean: -Kill and Eat bad guys , only the bad guys, since the world sure is full of them! is not fully ok, but is the best use of their curse! if not, then they should be the balance of the good guys.. the twins as the evil ones work so well to balance the "good" guys of the show, and I use " because, Sun is not pure, he did bad things,(he mentioned months ago he no longer looks after the kids as good as he did- is not as bad as everyone but, is the little things) and Moon? uuf! so if anything, the twins should only show that bad guys can suffer and be sad, be left with no other options because that who they are.. or just be bad because is free!!~

#tsams #sams #the sun and moon show #im not actually mad tho but im just mmh angy #KC being ded is good-tho also #I talks as if Im back hahaha no #never no noim not back no #im here for the funny gameplay #lore vids only make me confused and i dont like being confused

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corpsepng · 29 days

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tell us all about your favorite sci-fi stories!!

!!!!! To be so honest I feel a little too under-read to talk specific stories as I’ve only recently started Reading reading again. But in this time of growing a (robust tbh) reading habit I’ve also (FINALLY) developed my taste and realized (after 25 years of life) I’m accidentally a sci-fi guy when before I was VEHEMENTLY opposed and convinced I was a staunch fantasy enjoyer lmao. So I think instead of rattling off stories I’ll describe WHAT I like the most in my sci-fi/my reading tastes (film included). AND. AND. If anyone has recs based on this let me know!

I like my sci-fi down to earth, because I have weird intrusi-qualms about secondary worlds that are supposed to make sense (fantasy gives me this reaction too now unless I change my headspace). (So far) I have found no one (the scavengers show on HBO excluded bc that impressed me) is making their alien worlds ALIEN enough for me!!! I like sci-fi that is near to home in both space and time, therefore believable. And with societies that don’t feel like archaic repeats of the past (could not even get 2 chapters into red rising). Some stuff like Dune just feels space fantasy to me. Yada yada space travel, where’s the science yk? All I see is magic. (So like the seep and annihilation and possessor, just weird enough to feel different but similar enough to feel real)

I also only like space travel if it talks about how horrific space travel is because the isolation should be the main character. The hopelessness and high stakes of failing should eclipse everything else. If they’re on a space ship I need people to die bc space should, logical, be 10 times as unfriendly as the sea. (Europa report, sunshine, that one with Sandra bullock hyperventilating for 2 hours)

And first contact!!!!!!! The three body problem, arrival, annihilation and the seep again!!! The many ways we can and might encounter and react to alien life but with very clear discussions about human nature, alien nature, and the nature of life itself. Can we really coexist? Are we really all that intelligent? What are the consequences of our hamfisted human choices? How can we ever hope to effectively communicate anything to anyone ever?????????????

And lastly. Lastly. horror. I think all sci-fi SHOULD be a little scary just like all fantasy should be a little scary. Horror is an essential element to every story regardless of genre, because fear is a cardinal human emotion. All animals know fear. SO. Take the scary out and the whole thing is defanged. I want body horror, existential horror, creature horror, isolation horror, tech horror. Alien and event horizon and I have no mouth but I must scream and annihilation (again) and three body problem (hill to die on) etcetera!!!!! The world is terrifying and science fiction is meant to examine the truth of that.

Tbh a lot of my fav HORROR has an element of sci-fi to it (ie lovecraftian work especially Caitlin Kiernan, sunshine, the genetically modified worms part of the troop, possessor!!!!!! All Time Faves) The science of horror AND the horror of science yk. We’re creating the monsters in laboratories if you will.

I’m also reading a lot of non fiction as well, but this is already too long so I’ll list my books and films in a reblog. Thank you for the excuse to write all this and PLEASE someone recommend me more books (and film)

🖤💙🦋🩵🩶🖤💙🦋🩵🩶🖤💙🦋🩵🩶

#mail.txt #I could literally go on for 1000 years #<<33 #sci-fi #am reading

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