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megabuild · 3 months

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hi how is ethubs toxic for etho? I’m curious, and don’t really care either way lol just wanted to see your perspective (I think you implied it in a post of yours)

so i would personally interpret ethubs as toxic from both sides and it feels unfair when analysing something like that to say "this person definitively had the Worse Experience" because that's not something you can measure- having said that i definitely like to look at etho's more, mainly because it lines up with my own personal experiences and is also something that i don't see discussed very much.

ethubs as a whole can be difficult to read as toxic sometimes because as a viewer you're already aware the two actors are close friends outside of the roleplay and so their constant back and forth and commitment to each other is obviously in part because of that but as characters they very much read to me as dependent to an unhealthy degree. all of last life functions as a push-pull exercise, mainly with bdubs as the one pulling while etho allows himself to get pulled along even into intense danger for them both until he realises bdubs is pulling him off a cliff edge and pushes (the wither fight/telling bdubs he won't give him a life). bdubs demands a lot from him, often pointing to "the good old days" and promising that once etho does whatever he needs to do things will go back to normal- to the point where etho himself starts leaning into that idea, telling bdubs "we can be buddies again!" in their final meeting despite this, again, being a death game where there is no hope for either of them. this could still be read as just a very committed relationship but what sets it against etho for me is that bdubs is (unintentionally) emotionally manipulative- he is desperate to stay with etho, of course he is! and often directs comments towards etho insinuating other people won't get him the way bdubs does (an element of truth- etho is a lone wolf and was never as open with his other allies as he was with bdubs) and, most importantly, telling etho to kill himself in order to join him as a red life or else he will kill him himself. this is bad!

bdubs is also an incredibly reckless character, which isn't really a toxic trait but in their partnership becomes significant as etho is always chasing after him to try and save him- while etho never directly gives him a life of his own he is constantly at ends trying to find lives for him, be that in asking tango, striking deals with scar, or allowing bdubs to kill tango despite having the means to stop him. stuff like when bdubs trades off a life for the enchanter and etho frustratedly says back "i care about bdubs more than i care about the enchanter!" bdubs is constantly working towards a win for them both (and i don't doubt that had it been the two of them left, he would have asked etho to kill him- he does this all through his own warped perception of loyalty) while etho is constantly working just to keep them alive and safe and the two ideals end up clashing a lot.

does all of this make a toxic relationship? not in every case. but to me (again, likely because of personal similar experience and bias) it reads very much like that and i think if etho was more into the roleplay and displayed even the slightest bit of distress it would suddenly look INCREDIBLY apparent. part of the reason it doesn't is because as a character he is used to hiding his true feelings and discomfort in order to survive.

#i-just-want-to-see #asks #ask to tag #thanks for letting me ramble haha.. i hope this makes sense but it might not #a lot of it is literally just. Ll happened to me you had to be there to get it

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y-rhywbeth2 · 5 months

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Sooooo I am very curious about your Durge and how they are built. Do they link into the lore of the earlier games? Are they a resist or accept type? Tell us more! 👀

You mean built as in "how Bhaal made him", or as in character build, or as in characterisation? Well, I'll answer them all anyway. Here's more rambling information than anyone needed about my fucked up, socially-unacceptable mess who needs therapy!

[Be aware dead doves may be present, ymmv]

Resist, technically. He woke up with a tadpole in his head and no memories, he wasn't going to trust a presence in the back of his head that kept stealing his bodily autonomy until he understood what it was. As he grew fond of his party, he began to be pushed towards doing good things and helping people to please them (and because it honestly does feel good to see people happy, even as it makes the Urge hurt him).

Of course there were a few exceptions where nobody except Astarion was looking where he was a bit pragmatic or just plain mean, because it was funny.

Then he got his memories back in Act 3 and had a full blown nervous breakdown as he realised how badly he had failed Father and his sole reason for existence by allowing himself to fall for the delusion that he was a real person. He tried to go back to just being Bhaal's evil little puppet, but it was too late and his loyalties were torn between being what his friends wanted and being what Bhaal wanted. There was another panic attack when he couldn't bring himself to kill Minsc because it would upset Jaheria, Wyll and Karlach. Still murdered a few innocent people and a celestial being behind their backs. Also every Flaming Fist in the Lower City, but that was their own fucking fault for having stupid AI. Turns out you can't have everyone you love, but luckily he got to solve this issue by letting Father kill him as punishment for his failure! He repents for his failure and his friends get to believe that he died a heroic sacrifice and move on with their lives - win-win! Except that Jergal interfered and now he has to carry around this tainted, stolen flesh he doesn't want to claim - damn you, old man.

Post-game he's living with Astarion; both having their bad days where they have time to stop and process their trauma now, and also having good days where they adventure; grow into being fully free willed individuals; hunt and kill people for fun, blood and profit where socially acceptable; and get some research done on stuff like Bhaalspawn and vampires. He'll probably be ok in, like, a decade or twenty, once he's finished coming to terms with the idea that he was genuinely miserable and terrified living under Bhaal's control and has formed his own life and a stable identity. In the meantime - abandonment issues, identity crises, issues about autonomy, paranoia about retaliation and religious guilt!

If he had failed in his duel against Orin and been condemned to lose his autonomy (and seen his friends immediately give up on him), or had he not been given death as a choice, he probably would've forsaken the party and fulfilled his original purpose in the end game. But he would've quickly killed them in their sleep first as a mercy! He's not totally heartless! He's an absolute mess.

He doesn't have much in the way of connections to the original games.

I go back and forth on how old I want him to be and haven't settled yet. I don't think he's young. Originally I had him be born in the temples before the Time of Troubles, along with the other Bhaalspawn but then it turned out that Durge's backstory is weird.

Going off of what we're told about being carved from Bhaal's dead flesh, having no birthday and being conceived beyond mortality, I'm assuming he was created from a part of Bhaal's corpse on the Astral Plane, where there was no time. Probably shortly after the end of Throne of Bhaal, in 1369 DR - maybe Bhaal was paranoid about Amelyssan and Bhaal's failure to be resurrected triggered the failsafe and initiated plan B: the Dark Urge.

Or Vel was born after 1372 DR, when Bane was reborn and Bhaal maybe felt a little insecure.

I have contemplated having my Charname meddle with his "birth" to piss Bhaal off, adding part of her own essence into the mixture. Technically it's not incest, because it's purely by magic, but it's still enough to make her sort of his mother and make it weird. Just to make the family tree even more complicated. Also technically makes him a half-human, half-hin, sun elf, quasi-deity. Nothing in this guy's life makes sense.

He's a ranger, because hey, he's a hunter - he just hunts people. He's comfortable hunting and surviving in urban or natural environments; he learned to live off the streets while being homeless after his foster family's death (and the subsequent massacre at the Ilmatari shrine that sheltered him) and learned to live off the land after fleeing into the wilds to lie low. It's also how he's familiar with poisons and venoms. He has an interest in death as part of the natural cycle, so the nature class suits him. Also likes animals, who are significantly less judgemental and more pragmatic about killing. Scavengers tend to follow him around for the corpses he leaves, and he ended up with a few rat and corvid animal companions (though Bhaal often forced him to kill them if he got too attached). It also lets me play a divine spellcaster, although I assume in his case the power is coming from his own soul rather than a patron god.

He's a divine being and an excellent killer, he knows this and it gives him self-confidence in his actions that some have described as "insufferably arrogant" or "suicidal". His go-to tactics for dealing with a problem are: Step 1) Promise death if subject does not submit Step 2) If subject does not submit; kill them Skipping to step two is also always on the table. All problems can be solved with murder.

His dump stat is intelligence, because the poor kid who ended up alone and homeless didn't have much time or resources for education. In another life he would've been a bard, he has a knack for carrying a tune and writing prose. I like to think Orin would've enjoyed art and maybe the theatre in her own alternate Bhaal-free universe, so it's an interesting parallel for them.

He takes an approximation of elven form because Bhaal decided to reverse engineer the Blessing of Corellon, using the soul of one of his elven kids as a reference, to give Vel a physical fluidity/flexibility that would be useful to his plan to breed an army of Bhaalspawn using Durge. Also works as a threat; obey, or there are other uses I have for you, and some of them will see you locked up for nine months. (Vel goes by male pronouns and presents as a cis man, but is somewhat flexible and accepts they/them pronouns. Not she/her though.)

Vel also has a million and one hang-ups about sex because of stuff like this; namely that he won't have any kind of sex that might cause pregnancy, and he used to kill the partners he begrudgingly took so that they wouldn't be able to perceive him during the act or remember him sexually. He makes a special exception for people who he's assigned an "equal" or "higher rank" over himself - they can do what they like with him and it's their right. Those exceptions would be Bhaal (Vel's body is Bhaal's body, as far as he's concerned), sort-of Gortash (except Vel didn't fully trust him and their relationship makes Bhaal irritated, so every time they had sex Vel had to leave and have a panic attack afterwards) and Astarion (who has his own hang-ups). There might have been something kind of going on with Orin, partly due to pressure for them to have "sacrificial lambs" together, but neither want to talk about it. He considered Ketheric, but Ketheric can't die and that would ruin it because Vel would be too busy trying to kill him to actually have sex.

Originally he was going to be the son of a member of the Eldreth Veluuthra, who turned to Bhaal for divine aid because the Seldarine still won't aid the terrorist organisation in committing genocide against the human race, for some strange reason. She would've raised her little abomination into be a weapon to set on them, and enjoyed the irony of humans being slain by an abomination spawned by of one of their own gods.

Since "the Dark Urge" gets you some funny looks when you use it in public, mine concedes to being called "Vel" - a name that only gets you funny looks from the minority that speak elven, because you've just introduced yourself as "dagger/knife." It's a description of him as a tool, not a person. His foster family did give him a name, but he refuses to acknowledge it because it was intended for a person who only existed in their imagination and he'll stab you if you call him by that name. He technically got the name from Gortash, who once "jokingly" referred to him as his favourite weapon one evening, enjoying the success after one of their joint plots to exploit some noble or other and advance both their goals via assassination/politicking. Vel has identity issues and complicated relationship with real Tel'Quessir, so he chose the elven word for the irony (no real elf would accept association with a Bhaalspawn, least of all this one).

Mostly he goes by no name at all. He might pick a new one, in a few decades when he's grown, healed a bit and feels secure in having his own identity.

Vel is Lawful, and alternates between Evil and Neutral depending on his mood and situation. He will fall to pieces without a purpose to structure his life around. He doesn't care if people around him are more Chaotic though, it's purely a personal code. If he takes a mercenary or assassination contract or something, he will fulfil it to the letter and make no attempts to backstab his employer or get any more than the agreed upon payment. He makes zero promises about the actions of anyone working with him, they can do what they want and it's not his problem.

He has a hierarchy in his head: Bhaal > Himself, Gortash, Astarion > Orin, the party > everyone else

His moral compass is a twisted thing that he's cobbled together out of scraps over the course of under two months, it's not very complete or useful. On the good-evil axis, he doesn't usually have second thoughts about taking actions that are evil, and he's not keen on the concept of morality as a whole; there was never any point in developing a sense for it. He never had any real say in his actions and he kind of resents people who judge him for them.

He kind of misses Sceleritas, his "great purpose" and all the power he used to wield, and he would make a fantastic Sharran.

#Forewarning of dark possibly dead dove content #I can't not write essays #I put way too much thought into my characters but it's fun #OCs #Vel #long post #edgelord hours

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barryallenhotpants · 4 months

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Carnal

Masked! Ghost face x reader

Let me know what you think! Likes and reblogs are always appreciated!

Tags:

18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!

Hair pulling, choking, excessive use of force, dubcon (implied consent), predator v prey themes, degradation, harsh language.

A one-shot in which reader goads ghostface to chance her through the woods.

Enjoy the depravity lovelies~

Y/N’s pants filled the air as she ran towards the woods.

Was this a bad idea? Most definitely. Did she care? Not really.

Y/N had developed a strange fascination with ghost face over the years. There’s something about a cold-blooded murder that really got her going.

Running, Y/N’s feet pounded against the uneven forest floor. Each step sent a jolt through her entire body- her legs hurt.

Y/N found refuge from behind a tree and squatted down, her warm breathe fogging the cool air.

“Mouuuuusyyyyy…” A cold, modulated voice rang out.

“Ohhh, Mousy!” The voice yelled, a sinisterly deep baritone.

“Where are you, bitch? Just wait until I find you.” Y/N gulped. She found herself growing wet and rubbed her thighs together. Was she serious? Was getting hunted down by ghost face really turning her on? The want crept its way up her spine, until her entire being was quivering with need.

What she was thinking, was dumb. It would most likely get her killed and at the very least, she’d be dangling herself in front of a notorious murderer like a piece of meat. Y/N regarded her plan for only a moment, before deciding that she didn’t care.

Akin to a doe foraging in the foliage, Y/N stepped out from behind the tree. She could tell that ghost face was near, the sound of loud footsteps and the breaking branches filled the air.

Suddenly, the figure tramping about the woods stopped. Y/N glanced around behind the tree and saw him, in all of his glory. The signature black robe clung to his lithe body, his handy knife was prepped to kill, and his mask— oh, that mask, glowed under the bask of the moon.

Y/N could feel the slick coating her thighs. It was warm, sticky, and entirely uncomfortable. Kara knew that this would probably get her killed, but she was so horny that she just wanted her pain to end and needed someone to fill that ache.

With a bravery that presented itself from thin air, Y/N yelled, “Come and get me, Mr. Ghostface. I bet you can’t catch me.”

For a brief moment, Y/N wondered if she had made the correct decision. But when she saw the figure ghost face chasing after her, with a renowned figure, she knew that she had. Y/N took off once more, running into the woods. Her legs which were taught with exhaustion, pushed her through. If this ended, how she wanted it to you, she would die happy.

A game of chase was afoot- and Y/N was many things, but a final girl was not one of them. Ahead, Y/N could see a clearing. She could hear the fierce pounding of ghost face’s footsteps behind her, each step squelching on the mud-riddled forest floor.

Suddenly, Y/N felt two angry hands circle her waist before she was tackled to the ground. Ghostface wrangle Kara onto her back and pressed his knife against her throat. His presence loomed over her and she was trapped, he straddled her with knees on either side of her waist.

“What the actual fuck?” The garbled voice exclaimed, panting above her. Y/N could feel every inch of him through his black robes. His crotch just so happened to be place conveniently above hers and each time he moved, she could feel the friction in her most intimate parts.

“Do you have a death wish, blondie?” He asked, masked eyes boring into her soul. gulped, she could feel the edge of the knife pressed into her throat. Its blade was sharp, dangerous, and- oh fuck. YN’s orgasm caused her body to spasm, it left her breathless and listless. Ghostface pause upon feeling her trembling form beneath him. Tears, happy tears, began to stream down Kara’s face as she pleaded to the masked man atop her— “Please fuck me, Mr. Ghostface, I’ve been a real bad girl.”

The request seemed to startle him. Ghostie paused and withdrew his knife-laden hand from her throat. He sat back, now fully seated against Y/N’s groin.

“Oh, so that’s it, huh?” The modulated voice grunted out. “You’re just a filthy little slut?” Y/N fiercely nodded her head in response. She would do anything, be anything, and say anything to get what she wanted. Ghostface tilted his masked face to the side, as he pondered her offer.

Y/N had offered herself up on a silver platter. She didn’t care about what consequences would ensue afterwards, she was only focused on satisfying her need. Like some kind of depraved animal, Y/N shifted her hips up and humped into Ghostface. The masked man above her groaned, grinding down against her. This continued for a short while, bodies grinding together, desperate to gain a little bit of sweet friction. And Y/N did, she could feel ghostface hardening as they ground against one another.

Growling, ghostface tossed his signature knife to the side and stood, shuffling around with his pants beneath his robe.

“Get on your knees, bitch.” He barked. Clumsily, Y/N scattered to her knees. They dug into the wet earth, squelching into the mud. Y/N didn’t care.

Ghostface grunted as he freed his cock and slapped it against her cheek. Y/N was mesmerized, not just by his impressive member but also with the way his mask glowed in the moonlight. Fuck, she wanted to take a picture. She gave no thought to who might be under the mask and felt filthy as she found herself not caring. Her masked attacker was mysterious, dangerous, and the fact that she would never know who she was sent shocks right down to her clit.

Impatient, gloved hands gripped either side of her face, thumbs sliding in her mouth to open it.

“Open wide, slut.” Ghostface crooned, sliding his big appendage past her waiting lips. God, he had to be at least nine inches. Slobber began to dribble down Y/N’s neck and chest as ghostface set a merciless pace to fuck her throat. She could hear his gasps and pants as he entered her over and over and over again. Her throat burned with the friction, the sides of her mouth becoming sore as he held her stretched her mouth wide.

Y/N was incoherent and moaned each time ghostie slid his way further down her throat. It was a good thing she didn’t have a gag reflex, she was sure that if she tried to push him away that he would cut off her hands.

Groaning, ghostface pulled his hands from her mouth and grabbed a fistful of her hair, working her up and down against his crotch. His pace was brutal, and Y/N could feel herself gagging and she struggled to take the full force of his length. Y/N put her hands against his knees to try and steady herself. Ghostface paused his ministrations and yanked her head back, the pull against the back of her skull burned. It was delicious.

“What, too rough for the bad little bunny?” Y/N whimpered and shook her head.

“No, Mr. Ghostface. Anything for you. I want to be your good girl.”

Ghostface groaned and released her, tearing at his cloak. He ripped off a long chunk of the cloak and wrenched Y/N arms behind her back. He secured both of her wrists with the black material and pulled on them- the sting was delicious.

“Good sluts don’t use their hands, he chimed. Struggling as he peeled off the rest of his robe. Soon, ghostface stood in all of his nude glory, but kept his signature mask on. Y/N even through the mask, could feel him smirking.

“Oh what a pretty sight you are,” he breathed. Wiping some tears away from her eyes. He had literally torn the clothing away from Y/N body, leaving her cold and shriveling in the cool night air. Y/N was glowing, her soul was radiating with a happiness that couldn’t quite be explained. Long slender wrapped around her throat and squeezed. Y/N gasped, she could see stars. She moaned as the pressure increased and started rutting against the forest floor. She was no better than a bitch in heat.

“That’s right, baby,” ghostface expressed, “moan for me. I want to make you scream.” And suddenly, Y/N was being pushed into the muddy earth. Ghostface positioned her on her knees, molding her like clay. Her ass was sticking out into the air, and ghostface began to spank it.

“What a dirty girl you are,” he mused. “Do you want this cock in your tight quivering hole?” Y/N could have died right then and there. “Yes please, Mr. Ghostface.” Ghostface groaned as poked and prodded against her entrance. His thumb circled her other entrance and he popped the tip of it into her tight wring of muscle. Y/N eyes shot up in surprise. She wasn’t expecting butt stuff, but she wasn’t against it.

“Do you want this murderer to fuck all of your pretty holes? Huh? Do you want to get destroyed by my raging cock? Want me to make you a screaming mess until all you can do is cry and scream for more dick?” Y/N’s second orgasm ripped through her.

“Oh god, yes! Please! Anything you fucking want!” Ghost face slapped her ass as he wrapped a hand around her throat, pulling her flush against him. Y/N winced, her arms strained against their restraints and her thighs burned. But fuck, it was everything she had ever wanted.

Just as her vision began to blur, ghostface slammed into her pussy. The entrance was abrupt, there had been no prep. Y/N didn’t need it. She was so wet that she almost pushed him right back out.

“Ugh,” he moaned,”you’re so fucking wet. I could fuck this pretty pussy all day.” His sheer size had forced itself into her walls and with each thrust in, Y/N could feel him against her G-Spot.

Suddenly, she was being forced down. Ghostface had shoved his hand against the side of her head, and pressed her into the ground. As he pummeled into her pussy. Y/N let out animalistic groans as he pounded into her from behind. She could feel his hip bones against the curve of her ass each time he pounded into her. One hand made its way to her hair and drug her face up off of the ground and the other began kneeling itself against her ass. Ghostface then crept his free hand toward her asshole and began to scissor it.

Y/N started screaming. It was the best thing she had ever felt. She felt so full. As ghostface repeatedly pistoled his hungry cock into her desperate lips, Y/N felt herself approach her third orgasm.

She came just as he pulled out and forced her back on to her knees.

“Say ‘ah’,” ghost face ordered. And she did, Y/N stuck her tongue out like the good little slut she was. Ghost face grunted and groaned as he pulled at his cock to edge out his orgasm. He came on her face, in her mouth, in her hair, and on her chest. It was like raining gold.

Ghostface shoved the tip of his cock back into her waiting mouth.

“Suck it dry, bitch.” And she did. Y/N was literally on cloud nine. When ghostface pulled his soft cock out of her mouth, he pinched her jaw with two fingers and squeezed.

“Who’s your god now, slut?” She moaned as she sucked on a finger.

“You, Mr. Ghostface, thank you for wrecking my pussy.” He snorted as he began to dress and walk away.

“That’s my pussy now, bitch. I’ll come to collect again soon.”

#ghostface #scream #billy loomis #stu matcher x reader #fem reader #reader insert #x reader #predator v prey #ghost x reader #minors dni #dark! reader #fanfic #obsessed #reader loves ghostface

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yanderes-galore · 1 year

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hi hi! can i get a yandere kiana kaslana with a female darling who's also an valkyrie but just more skilled than her? make this take place before himeko's death, love your works!!

I'm actually not that far in the story (My computer had issues and I never got to download it again) so either way this'll be before Himiko's death ^^ I tried not to involve lore so much but... minor spoiler warning. I'm assuming you mean the one in the main game story/the clone...?

Yandere! Kiana Kaslana with Valkyrie! Darling

Short Concept

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Clingy behavior, Manipulation, Stalking, Overprotective behavior, Invasive behavior.

You both go to Freya Academy to learn how to be valkyries.

Kiana naturally reaches out towards people with her personality.

She's outgoing, always happy, and overall just friendly.

Kiana also hates the idea of being alone.

Despite you out-ranking her, Kiana still treats you like family as she does with most of the academy.

You're always focusing on training... Kiana takes notices and pulls you away sometimes.

She has excuses... like Mei made something tasty or she wants lessons from you.

Which is strange as Kiana usually doesn't study willingly.

You probably rank as high as Mei, an A-Rank valkyrie.

She really cares for both you and Mei.

Mei comments a lot on how Kiana has grown attached to you when with you.

She's a sweet girl, always managing to make you smile.

You don't mind it when she asks you to train/study, it's always good to be ready for when Honkai strike.

You just notice she's distracted at times.

You'll be telling her a lesson or critique her skills... only to find her staring.

She then asks you to repeat yourself, making you sigh.

It's hard to tell she's yandere, it's always the bubbly ones.

Kiana's mostly Clingy, Overprotective, and Manipulative.

At least that's what she is before becoming a herrscher....

Kiana looks up to you as a skilled valkyrie.

She supports you and asks Mei all about you.

You and Mei are the same rank so you most likely keep in contact somehow.

Kiana tends to always want to know where you are.

If she hears you're studying, she's running in the room and disturbing you.

If she hears you're training, she's coming to join you.

You barely get time away from her.

Kiana also seems like the type to be physically affectionate.

She's tackling you in surprise hugs all the time.

Soon you have to start honing your senses to detect her before she strikes.

Her hugs aren't that bad when you expect them.

Kiana also gets a bit protective when you talk to people.

She stops her bubbly persona temporarily to watch you talk to someone else.

Her blue eyes narrow softly, swapping to yellow briefly before she tries to ignore it.

She tries not to show her jealousy when you hang around higher rank valkyrie.

Although it ends up showing when she becomes more clingy and nosey towards you.

Kiana isn't extremely manipulative.

Not like mastermind level manipulation, but enough to convince you to pay attention to her.

How could you not when she throws herself around you all the time?

Kiana is not one to harm people when she's jealous.

She usually keeps it bottled and tucked away from you.

Kiana saves her overprotective rage for Honkai.

Oof... if she saw you get hurt on the battlefield, she's pushing herself harder.

Kiana would not kidnap, she prefers to follow you around.

She likes you and her hanging out whenever she can.

Overall, Kiana would respect a valkyrie more skilled than her and cling to you.

She loves to be around you all the time!

Hopefully those dark desires of hers don't manifest something sinister... right?

#yandere honkai impact #yandere kiana kaslana

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enden-agolor · 3 days

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Hey enden! I just wanted to reach out as I know these are hard times for you. I’ve been wanting to say something and give you some support, but I have never known what to say, so I’m just gonna wing it.

First off, I would like to preface by saying you are an incredibly humble artist and writer. You carry great talent, yet you seem to almost expect people to not notice that. Never forget your talent, and that even something you spill out at 2am will most definitely be praised. You inspire me to create, I have been in a art and writing slump for so long. I got caught up in life and lost the love for it. You’ve lit that spark in me once more and want to get me creating, and most definitely writing, in honor of you!! That’s amazing man. You have some real special talent, and the mcsm fandom alongside others are seriously so so lucky to have you.

Second, I send nothing but love and support to you and your boyfriend. I know everything will work out just as you guys need it to. If she doesn’t get her karma legally, she most definitely will another way. I know you guys are so strong and will pull through with flying colors!! Death of a loved one is never ever easy, and the worst always happens to the best people. Know that none of what happened is your fault, don’t let guilt consume you, and both of you take care of and love yourselves. You guys seriously deserve it.

Lastly, on a less dreary note, I would like to ask if you had any fan fiction prompts for Jesskas? I want to write so bad, but I cannot come up with a proper idea that is really interesting and solid, yanno? I want to write something long, that I can really pour my heart out into. So if you had any tips or story prompts, it would seriously be appreciated, and you of course would get a huge shoutout, as you would with or without helping me since you are such a huge inspiration to me.

Best of wishes Enden!!

This may be a long response, so here-

First off, I suppose you are right when you say I don't really expect people to enjoy the content I create. It's not an easy concept for me to grasp. I have a lot of trouble seeing how people can like my stuff so much, or god even say I'm their favorite mcsm artist when there's so many others out there that carry so much more skill with colors and backgrounds and such. I know I'm not supposed to compare myself to others, but it is an incredibly hard habit to end. It's why I'm so shocked when I see actual fanart of my aus, or god even my writing. I cannot go back and read me own works for the life of me because I just cringe so bad at it, so when people say it's good I really just have to trust them and believe it.

All I could ever dream to do is inspire people to create and grow with their own imagination, so hearing that my stuff has done that sort of thing for you (and others who have told me the same) it brings me so much joy, but it truly is entirely hard to believe that it's me and not someone else being the one to do that. I don't know, but I am very honored to hear this from you. It only inspires me to push myself further and I don't know. Maybe some day I can push my imposter syndrome aside and really get a firm grasp on my full potential and be proud of it.

And thank you for the love and support towards our situation... As the days go by I fear more and more that that woman will get to keep her dog and nothing will come out of this other than we just have to move past it. So I hope you're right when you say she'll get her karma some other way. I've never in my life wished something bad to happen to someone. Not like this... So if karma does catch her, let it be as devastating to her as it was to us.

Now, real life shenanigans aside, we can get to the jesskas stuff 😏

For fanfic prompts, I always suggest exploring canon before getting into anything truly ambitious. If there's a certain scene in the game you'd like to further explore and add on to- do it! Like I've always wanted to write a fic that gets into a deep emotional moment between Jesse and Lukas after Jesse rescues Lukas and Petra from the Nether during episode 8 and they all enter the player dorms for the night. Just those off screen moments where you can take the characters and add more to the story is easy and fun in itself. I always like to look deep into the emotional aspect of it all, and really dive into how the characters might be feeling after a situation and how that gentle moment alone together could bring them closer. What I already mentioned being a good example because it's directly after PAMA, Jesse having to watch Lukas and Petra(or Ivor) die, and so on. There's a LOT of feelings to explore there. If that's something you'd want to try and tackle, go for it!! But if there's another scene from the game that really sticks out to you that you feel could be so much more, go for that too. It's good to start small and practice how you want to write the characters. Only reason I started a huge fic like Recovery straight away was because I'd been rping jesskas for like a year and a half already and was confident I knew how to write the characters and I wanted to do more for the little community by writing a nice big fic.

And again, it's Minecraft. There's a whole world to explore and put these two right in the middle of it. Think up certain scenarios you like and add on to it! Like if there's a certain scene you really want to do, build to it. Give the characters a goal and put obstacles in the way so you can really flesh them out on the way to that goal. What made them want to go there? How do they get there? What do they do when they get there? How do they communicate with others that might also be there? And how differently do they treat eachother compared to how they treat the others? Those are all things you really want to know ahead of time. Also pay attention to the scenery. Really look into the visuals your mind creates and do your best to get into the details about it all. There's a lot to get into with writing, and the best part about it is you're in complete control, so go crazy with your imagination, especially since it's Minecraft. It could be entirely self indulgent, or even something out of your comfort zone. No matter what it is, it's still growth and it's still progress to being a better writer. Just make sure you're having fun.

Also, thanks for taking the time to send this ask. I appreciate you 🩷

#ask

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zvtara-was-never-canon · 9 months

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hello! I once heard the opinion that the zutara fandom (the loudest and most toxic part of it, of course, we are not talking about normal people who just enjoy their ship) has features of cultist, sectarian thinking and organization. I haven't thought about it much, but recently a friend of mine who understands quite a lot about cults and sects and to whom I showed the most popular zutara blogs and their meta tags here, tumblr (I didn't push him on this idea, we were just chatting about fandoms) said that according to the type of thinking zutara's fandom has features of a religious cult. this thought seemed interesting to me. what do you think about it?

I'd say it's true, but it does not apply solely to Zutara, or even to the ATLA fandom.

I lost count of how many times I've seen some legit insane news here in Brazil about angry fans of some soccer team violently beating, or straight up murdering, people that were wearing the "wrong" t-shirt after a game.

Harry Potter had the weird thing with the Snape wives, and now has the current cult-like TERF bullshit JK Rowlling encourages on a daily basis.

One of my cousins is VERY into K-pop and told me some WILD shit about some idols literally have to sign contracts that forbid them from dating (or at least publicly dating) anyone because half of the marketing around their persona is "You, regular person, could totally date them!" and faced some ABSURD backlash, including death threats towards them and their partners, when they were revealed to be in a relationship.

Anything, no matter how mundane, can be used by some disturbed people to excuse/encourage awful behavior. It's usually a result of desperate, lonely people needing to find ANYTHING that makes them feel like they belong, are part of a group, of a community, to the point that they shut off from anything else and become obsessed. That kind of thing has always existed, but BOY, has the internet made it sooooooooooo much worse.

I mean, seriously, just look at the things the "extreme" zutara fans do.

Creating whole conspiracies to justify why their was totally canon until some evil authority screwed it over, lying about anything and everything that happened both in canon and in the making of the show, even going as far as creating fake "evidence" of some huge power struggle between Bryke and other writers (mainly Ehasz).

Harrassing, bullying, doxxing and threatening anyone that has a different opinion, and justifying their actions with "Oh, but the people were doing this to ship Kataang/Maiko, which means they're all raging mysogynists, rape apologists, and 100% against interracial relationships."

The constant claims of "Bryke are creepy pedos because they only pushed Kataang because they are attracted to Katara, a cartoon character, and thus are attracted to real-life 14-year-olds! That's even the real reason why Aang is bald! To look like one of them!" that are not only ridiculous but could EASILY lead to a lawsuit, and ignores the fact that Zutara, like any popular ship, has tons of smut of it even though both characters are underage - make it make sense!

And, of course, the classic "This bad behavior people accused some of us of is completely false! I didn't see it, so it didn't happen! Nobody here would do that! Never one of us! Must have been one of them, the evil fans of kataang/maiko/(insert any ship for either Zuko or Katara here)!"

Some of the bad apples in the Zutara fandom are just entitled assholes, but I'm also pretty sure that some of these people legit need to see a mental health professional. There's being passionate about a ship and being upset that it didn't happen, and then there's being downright delusional.

And before anyone tries to pull the ableism card on me: I've been through this shit. Thankfully I've never reached the point of ever harming anyone in any way, but I was a mentally ill child/teenager that just latched onto the media I liked, and it made it my whole life.

I had full on panic attacks because the power went out and I couldn't watch my favorite TV show, and I'd cry for DAYS when something bad happened to my favorite characters. I legit started showing signs of depression because one of my favorite bands had broken up, to the point that my parents were really fucking scared. I got FURIOUS at an annoying classmate in school who talked shit about my favorite singer, to the point that I legit had to get away from them as fast as humanly possible because I was three seconds away from starting a physical fight - again, all because a random kid whose opinion on literally anything else wouldn't have meant a damn thing to me.

That is not being passionate. That is not being a loyal fan. That is a clear sign that something is VERY wrong and that you need some help FAST. See a therapist, deal with whatever it is that is pushing you to act like that, THEN engage in fandom stuff as much as you want. But don't ever make this your whole personality.

#anti zutara #mental health #personal

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honey-minded-hivemind · 2 months

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Okay! So, I have an idea for an au. It focuses a little more on the platonic yan X-Men and Reader and their relationship, but the au is a bit more... wild? Kinky, maybe? It's more for an older audience. I am a bit inspired by Genshin and those weird playlists i find for dancing and being... "down bad"... but it isn't about or for Genshin. And it's all platonic. Because that is what I do. Let's discuss it:

So, imagine each teen/adult is a small god/entity of a territory/kingdom. They live as long as their territory does, and the people who worship them and live in their kingdom add to their strength. Of course, each kingdom/deity has their own special skills, trades, and traits. But they also have the whole... conquering, problem. It isn't romantic or s*xual, but... it can get weird, at times. They're deities who are older than the human race and some of the other younger deities, but they're a bit like... young adults. A little childish, sometimes petty. Still ancient by human standards, but they can make most of their own choices and own up to them in full.

To avoid wars and the like with each other and to avoid risk of death or fading away, they will have games to deal with issues. If they want to rule or conquer another region/deity, they have to win the game they're playing. If you win, the deity/ies who lost are in their control and their kingdom and people are too until the next games. If they/you lose, you are under the control of the winner and whatever they want to platonically do with you.

The problem is they're all weird, they have their own platonic kinks, and they like having friends/kids who can't leave them. If they want to make them into a drone for a bit, only able to feel their love for them, then that's what will happen. If they want to tie them up and cover them in platonic kisses, then that is set in stone. If they want to make them forget for a bit, make it so they can't worry at all or remember to and only feel at peace, then it will be. (None if it is s*xual, okay? I am so sick of everything being about s*x and romance. So are the platonic yans and Reader. Why can't kinks be platonic, too? Who doesn't want to platonically blindfold their friend and do a trustful trustfall, catching them and then rewarding them with a slice of cake and butterfly kisses? Who doesn't want to take away the pain of a companion for a bit, just letting y'all cuddle in bliss for awhile? I hope y'all get what I mean). They all need to smooth over issues, and this is the healthiest way they can think of doing so. There are safety rules set up, plans in case something goes wrong for even a minute. Look, the winning platonic yan wants their friends/wards/kids to feel good for a bit while also letting them have all the power. So, it's a win-win in their eyes.

It all gets a little fierce when Reader is involved, though.

A deity around their age or younger, and their traits are kind, loving, caring, and down for a good time. They are always giving gifts, letting everyone know how much they care, and always dressed to their best, handsome and beautiful and gorgeous. So the other platonic yans are always trying to catch them, to win a game against Reader... But it is near impossible. Reader is good, and they are a polite winner. With a sly, warm grin, a kiss to the knuckles regardless of which platonic yan it is, and pushing a bowl of sweets towards them with twinkling eyes. They don't mind losing against Reader... But they really, REALLY want to win against them, even just once. Reader never even keeps their control over them, backing out of the games before it can be set in stone.

Of course, they all love Reader. Who doesn't?! Their kingdom is one of the largest, full of art of all kinds, and is one of the most peaceful. They are cute, they're nice, and sometimes they all just really really really want to put them under and get them so relaxed. So completely under, that they can't fight any love they give. So they can relax for once, so they aren't worrying over anything. And to have that kind of power over them... It would be special, wouldn't it? To be caring for them and being cared for in return, with no issue or doubt or fear. Because those wouldn't be allowed, not one bit.

Of course... They'd have to actually WIN against Reader, which no one has ever done before... Well... except once... But THAT was ages ago! And no one will fess up who won over them, or what game it was, or how it went! It drives them mad, not knowing!

But the games are coming up again, and this time, if they win... They want to try out a few ideas with their favorite friend/sibling/rival/kid...

(Y'all see what I mean? This AU is kinda new, and the best I can manage. I also maybe want to give us all a way to relax a bit more, and this seems like the perfect way to do it. If y'all want to ask questions, please do. Just please keep in mind this all PLATONIC!!! So anyone who wants s*x or romance, get out. NOW. Okay? And find that somewhere else. For those who enjoy the platonic stuff, feel free to stay. And those who want to have some more relaxing and cute and slightly (insert word for platoncially hot) (IS there a word for platoncially hot?) snippets and prompts with Reader, feel free to read it and send in a prompt idea or two).

(Why aren't there more platonic bad*ss songs? Or friendship songs that AREN'T for a cartoon?? Come on, music makers! Please please PLEASE do a playlist or song or album about platonic hotness and being cute and being friends and being kick*ss buddies til the end!!! At least one that isn't about romance... or... eugh... s*x...)

(I need to come up up a name for this au...)

(🖤Ace of Hearts💖 AU it is!)

#honeycomb thoughts #platonic yandere marvel #platonic yandere xmen #yandere x-men #platonic yandere xmen evolution au #platonic kinks by honeycomb thoughts #🖤Ace of Hearts💖 AU

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dulcewrites · 1 year

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Double standards.

Alicent is a bad mother

She has them young. YOUNG.

and people actually believe by being a single mother is easy,also at 14 years old..ew just ew..just please: it is not and my mother constantly tells me to have my children when I'm older because having kids is a choice and a labour.

Alicent was forced to, Nyra as well and at the end of the day she has the fortune and misfortune to bore Harwin's children,condemning them because they are bastards and we know that in the game of thrones, the war happened because Cersei's children were illegitimate despite looking alike their mother.

Alicent didn't give Helaena to Jace because she knew the danger of it, didn't another civil war happened between a legitimate and another illegitimate Targaryen?the blackfyre rebellion i think and it didn't end well...at all

They call Alicent a cunt, when you know who is the really cunt here:the men but I don't see anyone blaming them and among them, I'm talking about Daemon.

Him.

Who killed his first wife, ignored the second and his daughters and who, in the books, has abandoned his third wife(who was grieving her children's death)and groomed a teenager(the people trying to call Nettles his daughter when he ignores the others and it's canon he likes younger girls..ew)

Him

Who at least try to connect with her daughter, despite not understanding her hobbies and believing she was odd.

Alicent.

Who loved her children more than anyone else because they were all she had

Alicent who stood in front of her son to protect him

And we know what a mother would do for love

Alicent is my morally gray character, also Rhaenyra, flawed and tragic -the dance of dragons is gonna wreck me

sorry to rant, thse comments and tik tok pisses me off so muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

It’s just so funny to me bc all the same people who say they want morally grey characters (while praising just straight up evil ones like daemon) or lie and say they would rather have book Alicent, drag Alicent anytime she does something relatively mean or ‘cunty’.

Like which one is it?? You want female characters to be allowed to stand in their evilness or you hate show Alicent for apparently being the most evil woman to grace westeros. You can’t have it both ways. It’s goalpost moving bc they know damn well they would hate Alicent all the same, maybe even more, if she was pulled straight from f&b. They hated her even before the show aired… based on her book character 😭. Even though she’s not the most devious person on team green, let alone out of all the characters. Book Rhaenyra does way more shit if we are being real. But she’s a blonde dragon rider so she’s allowed to do that.

It’s why I hate the whole ‘alicent has no agency. Alicent is just a victim’ argument. Alicent throughout the season challenges and pushes against multiple people. And even if she didn’t, why is Alicent required to show her victimhood in a way that makes people comfortable. If she wants to be anxious, jealous, bitter, or angry, she (out of anyone) is allowed to be. I think Rhaenyra stans have this weird idea that everyone must be benevolent towards her bc she’s the ‘main character’. Like I’ve literally seen people on Twitter say that Helaena deserved what happened to her and her kids bc she didn’t warn Rhaenyra. Why on earth would Helaena side with a woman she barely knows? They cling to that “Helaena my sweet sister” or whatever the fuck it was line. Not taking into account that Rhaenyra only thinks that way bc she doesn’t she Helaena as a threat. If Rhaenyra actually cared about her sister, she wouldn’t have put a bounty of her kids head’s. Literally all of Alicent’s kids know Rhaenyra would throw them under the bus in a heartbeat, why would they trust her lmao

And one day we will have a conversation about a lot of people use Helaena as either a self insert or only talk about her if they prove she hates team green… despite that being the only family she knows

#this all over the place but yes it’s double standards #asks and requests

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shkika · 1 year

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I LOVE ALL THOSE POINTS I also never really knew about the terror area that's so cool wtf!!

Anyway I definitely agree with like everything I find it really silly about how moon, despite how soft-spoken she appears to be-, talks so bad about the ancients while five pebbles being the one on the meaner/blunt side speaks so highly of them I LOVE that the iterators are their own people like they have their own opinions rather than just being machines..they really feel like they have that biological aspect to them :]

Most of my musings are based around fp (i miiight be a little biased) but I love the thought of exploring even more in depth with his relationship with the ancients ...like the way he interacts with artificer?? The way he considers her to be one of his citizens is so silly (I wonder does he find a source of comfort in that??)

Like... I wonder how did he feel about the ancients all ascending, he seemed to admire many of them and he must have felt some sort of emptiness at that (STARING at the posts of ancient talking to him like siri) like especially with the cities on top of the iterators too, like i wonder wonder wonder what daily life was like for the ancients

Aghghgh adding on even more I wonder does he ever feel rage towards the ancients, like surely he must feel some way abandoned, like yes ascension is such a big thing for them but still like how EASY it was for them to just get up and leave him behind

ALSO THAT ECHO THAT YU FIND NEAR MOON THAT MENTIONS THE RANDOM GODS it must've been so nasty to hear yur literal parents talking so badly about you. Like it wasn't the iterators fault they couldn't find a solution and it wasn't their fault they lost themselves to time but the ancients still seem to blame that stuff on them

As for cycles that IS really silly I think like it seems at first just like death but it goes so much further in such a weird way, I love games with vague ass lore but AUGH GODD

For having like everything based around those cycles there really is such little information on them........maybe nobody really figured it out? That's unlikely though considering how everyone talks about them

I've just started really playing the game so I have yet to get into every little thing but I really enjoy the broadcasts u find as spearmaster I love the like conversations I love how much further it pushes the previous thing of iterators being their own things but I'm sure they had so many limits put on them too

It's also pretty late for me forgive me if this is really rambled but yuhyuh

OH HEHE ALL THIS FOR ME YUMMY!!

moon is the kind of person whod smile passively agressively at you when she wants to strangle you and she has no mouth! so nobody ever noticed <3

I adore Pebbles attitude towards Artificer actually. It’s incredibly funny. She posesses an ID of a citizen and it’s attached to her. So like.. what is he supposed to do??? Yeah. she is one ig..

He even at some point tells you that he has absolutely no power to kill or kick you out (probably an ingrained taboo!) because of her id! which is why you can hit him with spears and rocks all you want and get him to yell at you. (did that for 30 mins <3).

My personal hc for him is that he wanted to kill this weird cat so bad. Wasn’t allowed to. and now shes his emotional comfort beastie (awful garbage dweller)!! shes part of his city, tending to it even. A citizen if you ask me! (the overseers literally give her ads i lost my shit at that). Ancients seem to share similarities with us!! They have campfires and festivals! (info from moon) They get copius amounts of ads, they have neat little shopping lists!!!

I think Pebbles is a deeply lonely little man who got stuck being Moon 2 (he was built to house her people in the first place) even though she doesnt even like them. Grew to like them himself and got then abandoned. I think the idea he feels deeply betrayed and hurt by the ancients leaving him really shows in the conversation with Suns. He can hardly believe all he was ever made to do is be.. uh.. some useless little bug. He wants to escape.

I also really enjoy thinking he loved the attention and loved feeling important. Them leaving was confirmation that he was not actually. (then we decided we’re gonna be the next sos actually). He also believed he had to go through everything alone. Pebs constantly asks to be left alone up until riv campaign. him acknowledging that maybe he doesnt have to be, so he probably got to share his last functional cycles with moon has me in tears!!

As for the echo!!! I can understand the anger partly. I’m pretty sure the karma gates and building complexes on the ground imply that not all ancients were fortunate enough to live on the back of an iterator. (Shaded citadel people did not!) That echo iirc was a worker I assume. Imagine wasting your entire life building a god that never even fulfilled their purpouse. They just crumbled on the ground you built them on!! Not to mention you had to suffer the rain if u lived on the surface (jeez Moons rain siren sounds horrifying btw!!!)

Hopefully cycle lore gets cleared up in rw 2 (cope)

Also also the logs for spearmaster are incredibly interesting and show that iterators are in fact very diverse little discord people that like gossip <3 and that nsh is horrifying i think <3

#HEHEHE #hope i commented on everything #feel free to hop in my dms if u ever wanna ramble about lore!#i love loove lore #and i love how pathetic pebbles is #ask #pinkavtomation #fuck i didnt tag the last one with spoilers #rw spoilers #downpour spoilers #i dont know if jt matters because this blog is NOT spoiler free to begjn with #but yeah yeah!

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raayllum · 2 years

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Hi! I saw in the tags of one of your reblogs you talking about how sometimes magic systems need to be malevolent and that you sometimes write parasitic magic systems. I was wondering if you could recommend anything with a magic system like this? I find in my reading I usually gravitate towards neutral magic systems, where it's kind of like using a sword. But I'm super fascinated by the idea of a story where perhaps the magic itself is evil, rather than the evil side to a good half (like the Sith and the Jedi type of thing.) I hope my question was articulate! And thank you for your time and the awesome blog, of course.

Re: this post. So I would argue Dark Magic falls under a malevolent magic system with primal magic under a beneficial to volatile magic system (aka it can still be dangerous but is mostly about control), since Dark Magic consistently damages the body and the souls of other beings (re: Through the Moon, Bloodmoon Huntress, and even the containment of Sarai's last breath saying "No" before Thunder is slain). Also obligatory mention of TDP's Jewish themes and its implementation of Kosher / views of nature and animals.

ATLA gets close to having a mostly spiritual and tool based magic system, as sometimes bending is linked to spirituality (illusion of separation, which bloodbending arguably violates because it doesn't separate enough)

(And is now making me curious as to how Aaravos' body has withstood centuries, possibly millennia or more, of dark magic use)

I myself write a volatile to parasitic magic system, in which the danger is of constant excess of power in the body. The limited set of magic users are more in tune with the world; with each other, with certain elements (more awake at night, alert when it rains, or out in nature, or when surrounded by death, etc etc), so in some ways they're living a fuller experience than ordinary humans. But the magic is also latched onto their souls and does not care for them as a vessel, and will consume/destroy them if they use too much. Cue this snippet from my drafts:

“Better nothing than too much,” Rynn said, eyes flashing. “Your nea is not a game, Ally. You have no idea how much power is held behind that block of yours, and what it will do if too much of it leaked out before you were ready. It is not something to push—or it will consume you.”

which was heavily inspired by interpretations of the Force in Star Wars from certain materials, expertly laid out in this post, and a type of magic system I find very compelling (and why I think I love Dark Magic and its various allegories - for cannibalism, hunting, and fossil fuels - because the characters themselves also hold those matching, allegorical attitudes towards it).

Malevolent magic systems used to be far more common in like, older tales and mythos (think anything with traditional fae) because magic was a symbol of the Unknown, and the Unknown was always Dangerous (a lot of cautionary tales, for example) but it's not nearly as common an exploration nowadays, which is too bad. I don't read nearly as much fantasy as I should, so i don't have any strong recommendations in that regard - and I would say most fantasy leans on magic being neutral and it depends on what the user is well, using it for. Which has its own interesting set of ethical and moral implications / explorations & allegories, it's just not what I'm super keen to explore!

#tdp #the dragon prince #judaism #mini meta #thanks for asking #anonymous #writing advice #Kind Of??#writing stuff #the english major strikes again #also SJM and modern day fae are Not Fae okay thank u goodnight #my pet peeve lmao #also the nature of your magic in your magic system is a perfect case of when to Tell > Show as far as construction goes

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sublime-beyond-loss · 2 years

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The End Of The ‘Keeping The Narrator Company’ Livestream

The end has come after 42 days of nonstop company keeping lol. I put together these two videos as a sendoff to both the stream and the game.

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Make sure to watch it all the way through. The way it is structured is deliberate. This video is very personal to me and maybe a tad over the top in sentimentality, but I think I've earned the right to a little sentimentality lol. Maybe just like how I thought nobody would care about the stream and was proven wrong, others will still get meaning out of this video too. This video is meant to represent what the Narrator as a character and The Stanley Parable as a whole means to me as a creative inspiration after a long bout of depression destroyed so much of my creative energy. All of this has helped me to begin the long and ongoing process of escaping the awful place I have been in.

The video is also about how fictional works inevitably take on new forms through the creativity they inspire in others. The death of the author is also the (re)birth of the author. An endless cycle of inspiration branching off and growing only to inspire more branches to grow. Ideas building upon one another. The end never being the end does not have to be a cycle of stagnation. There will always be sparks of inspiration to carry us onward.

It's also mild commentary on one of the big things this stream showed, that the game fundamentally denies you a means to interact positively with the Narrator in almost all cases. Skip button? He will never notice that you're not pushing the button. Zending? He has nothing to say unless you start to defy him. Even the freedom ending, where you do play out his story in the way that he wants, you are denied because he remains an impersonal narrator lacking any of the nuance the other routes give him. But for me, and staying true to the hopeful theme of the stream, it doesn't matter much because I still found meaning in the act. I like to think that I both honored and gave something back to this game in the form of a unique interaction with it. I don't think there are many other games out there that would get someone to consider sacrificing 41 days of their PS4's lifespan to it for no in-game benefit lol.

One thing that ultimately inspired this video as the sendoff for my time with this game was the unavoidably of pressing the skip forward button. The big irony of the stream is that it only happened because that button has already been pushed to its conclusion. This stream about defying pushing the button only exists because the emotional weight of pushing it has already occurred. This meaningless gesture toward this character I empathize with only takes on any sort of meaning after having pushed the button to its conclusion. You cannot escape the button, really, because you would not avoid pushing onward until after you've already seen the content that lies ahead, but on the other hand, defying it only has its impact once you've seen how bad it gets.

As I spoke of in my blog post about running this stream, I saw a lot of myself in the skip button scene and I think the desert that comes after it scared me in a different way because of all the unpleasant implications it has. I cannot know the true meaning behind the desert and I have a million different theories, but the general conclusion I come to about it and the epilogue is that, yeah, the unknown is scary, and when facing the unknown but likely sad fate of this character I empathize with, I have made the choice to interpret it in a hopeful light because of what I see of myself in it, even if everything about it points toward cynicism. Death of the author and all that jazz. This desert is a bleak thing to be confronted with, but one must confront it. I understand that all too well. It is so easy for me to envision the effect my own depression has had on my mind as the same sort of desert and I know now that it was never the end that I thought it was. It's the start of something new after what has felt like several eternities filled with pain, solitude, and apathy. I think the post-skip desert is a place of endings but also a place for new beginnings. A place for new possibilities to rise up out of the dust of what came before. Maybe I'm just a hopeful fool who wants to see hope in a game so lacking in it. Maybe it's because the game can feel like a mirror at times, but I guess I just like to think that there is hope to be found in this game that so badly wants you to interpret it as a hopeless spiral. I leave this game defying it to the very end lmao.

Well, this is the end of the road for me. I could not keep the Narrator company forever, even if it was fun to pretend like I could for a little while. Regardless, I'm going to carry this spark with me into whatever I create next. It is that which inspires inevitably taking on another new shape as the cycle continues.

Take care, pal. It's a desert out there, but I think we'll be fine.

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This second one is even more personal and unlikely to resonate with anyone but me, but it still carries the theme of sincerity mixed with silliness. It's flawed due to my own inexperience (I didn't catch that I was filming in vertical mode till it was too late to fix it, for one lol), but I've decided to accept the imperfection of it. I'll let you in on something so that maybe this video will have a little more meaning. When I was a kid, my grandma would take me and my sister to this park all of the time and we would never miss a chance to walk this forest path. Even as an adult I would still get together with her every once in awhile to come to this park and walk the path with her. This is the first time I've walked it since her death. It's a lot lonelier now, but I'm glad to have finally walked it again. All it took was a stupid little livestream that made me want to take a video outdoors so that I could end it on a joke about touching grass lmao.

EDIT: There is also a post-livestream Discord chat. If there is anyone left who isn’t already in there who wants to keep chatting now that the stream is gone, message me and I’ll get you an invite.

#the stanley parable #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #tspud spoilers #tspud

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fashionablyfyrdraaca · 1 year

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11 - 14 for nona pls ?? ;u;

thank you sam!! (ﾉ∀`♥)

11. justice : does your muse find it easy to be impartial in emotional situations ?

It really depends on who is causing the emotional situation. If it is a conflict in her government between the Stolen Lands and an outside force (such as Pitax), Nona is able to put her own desires aside and come to a conclusion on what is the best solution. However, if it comes to something that involves her friends, she can be a bit of a push over and will do what she can to make her companion happy. For example, when Nortellara comes for Jaethal, Nona refused to allow Jaethal to be killed and pushed for her to pick the sacrifice to Urgathoa that best fit her own desires (rather than pick for her to stay undead or to become living again).

This is also a large part of why she forgives Tristian despite his betrayals. She enjoys his friendship and wants him to be happy, so she puts aside her own feelings of hurt. (I'm glad I wrote her that way though because if I didn't, I wouldn't have had ANYBODY for the councillor role lmao)

12. the hanged man : how open is your muse to new opportunities ? do they constantly look for them or do they simply take whatever comes their way ?

It's not that Nona goes out of her way to find new opportunities so much as it is that trouble comes to her. The closest she got to seeking out trouble on her own was when she was a small child. She got lost in a cave while her parents weren't watching her. However, this was ultimately good as it led to her being rescued by a lampad that left her with the matronly bear that becomes her druidic familiar.

Nona's response to Jamandi Aldori's summons was more of a "why not" then a "let's look for something new to do".

She's more than happy to tag along, but she rarely goes out of her way anymore.

13. death : is there anything in your muse’s life that they should be letting go of ?

The biggest thing in Nona's life (that occurs in game) she should let go of is her grief toward the death of Kesten Garess at the Womb of Lamashtu. She genuinely liked him and felt some attraction toward him. At the very least, she would have loved to have him continue as part of her city guard for Tuskdale or as some part of her army (not as her main general, but at least a captain of some sort).

However, she knew she had to go back to Tuskdale because she didn't have much faith in Jhod to be able to protect the capital and what is a barony without any people? She still had hope as well that Kesten could hold out long enough for her to come back to him. She feels genuine guilt for his death and wonders if she could have convinced him to not go.

Other than Kesten, Nona (in my opinion) could do with being less attached to Brevoy. She has never gone past the River Kingdoms as she was born in a village outside of Winterbreak. This makes Pitax the most exotic place she has ever been. I think if she wants to improve her skills as a Mystic Theurge, she could do with travelling.

14. temperance : does your muse make plans ? how impulsive are they ? has this gotten them into good / bad situations and how have they dealt with them?

She likes to have a general sense of the future. For example, she knows she wants to turn Tuskdale into a cultural hub and will invest into ventures like Linzi's printing house regardless of immediate payoff.

With her personal life though, she prefers to have a vague idea and let instinct take her the rest of the way. She knows she wants to learn as much as she can about the natural world and deepen her connection to the Fey, but she has no concrete plans to do so and being Queen takes up a lot of her attention.

She also wants to work more on ensuring that slavery has no place within her lands, but she largely leaves that to Regongar and Octavia to deal with as she has no personal experience with the problem.

#thank you so much for asking!!!#miss shania talks too much #nona currminder #aelyosos

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loosesodamarble · 2 years

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And your darling devil divine for the ask game please ❤️

Ah yes… My beloved Nacht…

BINGO! We got a bingo!

Man do I have thoughts about Nacht. Ever evolving thoughts too.

At first I was neutral. Then I started to like him when it was revealed he was a self-loathing hypocrite who was not so above it all. And now I’ve analyzed his character twice in a matter of weeks.

I believe Nacht is a well written character. He has a compelling backstory which influences his present ideals and actions. It's only my personal bias saying that Nacht needs more screen time. In reality, what attention he does get is used effectively to tell the story of someone who has damned themselves to living in the shadow of another, "better" person and deciding that eternal punishment is what he deserves for the mistakes he's made.

Tabata did Nacht a disservice by rushing Nacht's whole arc. He was laying it out so nicely and then one conversation with Yami seems to fix it. (Maybe it's not totally resolved yet and we just have to wait and see?)

And the fans do Nacht a disservice by like... Oh here are the opinions that would be like hitting a wasps nest...

The way I see it, Nacht only seriously hurts people he cares for on accident. He pushes away people like Morgen and Yami, creating a rift, but Nacht's intent was to save them rather than harm them. Even Nacht's greatest sin, Morgen's death, was an accident and not entirely on him since Morgen was the one to put his life on the line. Nacht is similar to Nozel in that both characters don't intend to harm their loved ones but it happens anyways because of poor/a lack of communication. Nacht's first interaction with the Black Bulls doesn't count because the Bulls didn't know Nacht at all and he was still projecting onto them. Not a good first introduction but it really doesn't hold the same significance to Nacht causing Morgen's death. Also, Nacht does eventually acknowledge the good the Bulls have done and how incredible they are. Yes, Nacht has said bad stuff about Yami, his best friend, but that still circled back to Nacht seeing the worst of himself in Yami instead of actually disliking Yami. So the way I see it, depicting Nacht as being whole-heartedly and intentionally malicious towards those he truly cares about is... not right.

Another mischaracterization of Nacht would be the idea that he wants forgiveness and redemption. Nacht doesn't want to be forgiven. Nacht never seeks to become good and instead believes he will always be evil. He even says he will "fight evil with evil" instead of determining that he will do only good after Morgen's death. Nacht ran away from forgiveness... Up until Yami talked away his issues all too easily. (But like I said, that's Tabata's fault.)

Does it sound like I'm absolving Nacht of guilt? Oh absolutely! Like, I know he did really shitty things. But I also want to point out the context and and possible emotional significance to the characters that gives the situations nuance. Still, I said these opinions would be like a bat to a wasp nest so I know these thoughts won’t be taken well by some.

Also these my opinions so if you’re reading of Nacht is different. We can keep it to ourselves.

Moving onto more light-hearted things about Nacht...

Yeah the music thing sure is accurate. I mean... I did do the whole Music of Faustsele series. And I still have yet to talk about the Yonzeu songs that I think relate to Nacht alone and one's that express his thoughts about Morgen! As you can see, Kenshi Yonezu and Nacht Faust go really well together./lh

And I do think about him so much. I mean, did you read the meta I did of his character? One of my most complex ocs exists thanks to me being absolutely taken in by Nacht's story! I want to learn more about him! Have more to analyze and study!

As you can probably tell, I really like Nacht. In fact, I love him. As a character. A plot device. A vehicle for themes and narrative progression.

Still debating if I'd like him if he were a flesh and blood human though. I wouldn’t be able to handle his criticism well if he had anything to say to me at all. Maybe. Depends on if he keeps the devils. The Bremen crew make him 10x more attractive, let's be real./lh+j

#questions from the ask box #ask game #nacht faust #black clover #soda asides #laura the writing senpai #i can't say the popular ships for nacht sucks because i think there's only one popular ship for him #and that's yami x nacht #and it's fine it makes sense #but also i think it's funnier to imagine them as exes #exes that can hang out but should never get back together again #i do admit that i have a bias as i have an oc i ship with nacht...

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spirit-small · 2 years

Text

Edgeworth didn't like taking Phoenix to work with him. He tended to find him more distracting than helpful, and more often than not they would wind up arguing over something trivial and it simply was not a pleasant experience for him, no matter how much Phoenix missed being in the courtroom.

It was hardly a substitute, but to at least break up the monotony of being stuck at home, he would sometimes accompany Trucy on her daily activities. Now, a middle school classroom isn't the most exciting place for a borrower in his 30s. But it's a change, at least. Even if he is just kinda sitting in a bag. The real excitement comes when Trucy does her magic act.

Being a magician is, in many ways, he thinks, similar to being a lawyer, weirdly enough. The way the lawyer captivates the crowd, making them believe whatever unbelievable thing you're selling them. It's about not only convincing them, but even believing in yourself that what you claim is true. That you can truly perform miracles. The magic stage or the courtroom, the game is the same. And the name of that game is deception.

Now, sure, being a borrower ratatouilling a bean in order to practice law is a couple more layers of deception than most lawyers would have, but the principle here is the same.

Or was.

He misses it. The thrill of it all. Cracking the case and solving a crime is a feeling unlike any other, and one he'd gotten hooked on in his brief career as a lawyer.

So when he spots a crime scene from the safety of his daughter's pocket, he can't help but get a look.

"Hey, Truce... Can you see what's going on over there?" Phoenix calls up to her.

"Hmm... Looks like a murder. Wanna go see a dead body?" Trucy holds up her fists and looks down at Phoenix in her pocket, excitement in her eyes.

"Oh, you know I- actually. Wait. Wait. Am I a bad father if I take my daughter to crime scenes...? I mean, murder and death and crime doesn't exactly... Seem like the kind of thing I should be exposing you to? Hmm..." Phoenix thinks back to his days as a lawyer with Maya, and how Pearl would often accompany them to the site of crimes much worse than this, at an even younger age, and she turned out... Fffffffine? Relatively speaking.

"Oh, come on, Daddy, what's the worst that could happen?" Trucy rolls her eyes and waves her hand dismissively.

"Alright, alright, let's go look at a dead body."

Trucy does an excited little hop and bounces toward the police line - do not cross. She hides Phoenix in her cape on her shoulder, for ease of talking without suspicion. Just as she tries to duck under the police tape, she's stopped by an officer.

"WooOOOOoooOOOOooOOOOOOAH there, kiddo!" An ear-piercing screech. "Y-Y-You can't go in there!" He gets on his loudspeaker. "THIS IS A RESTRICTED AREA, SIR!!!"

"Listen, Truce, this was a bad idea, maybe we'd better-"

"No way, Daddy, I got this. Watch!" Trucy winks and sticks her tongue out. She turns her attention to the officer.

"I'm here on behalf of Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth. And I don't think the man in line to be the next Chief Prosecutor would take all too kindly to you holding me up like this. Hrmph!" She crosses her arms and pouts at him.

"Prosecutor... E-edgeworth? But this is... Prosecutor Gavin's..."

"grrmbl more like prosecutor FOP... grmmbrgrl..." A detective in a lab coat pushes past them, shoveling snacks in her mouth.

"Ema Skye...?" Phoenix whispers.

"Ema Skye?" Trucy repeats aloud.

"Hm?" Ema turns and looks Trucy over, up and down. "Am I supposed to know who you are?"

"Well... No, but, I think... You know my Daddy?"

"Mmhmm." Phoenix nods.

"Your Daddy."

"Phoenix Wright!"

"Phoenix... Wait, for real? I didn't even know that was scientifically possible! I mean, science is still totally unaware of the mere existence of b- Ahem. You have to tell me everything. Is he nearby? Is he..." Ema gets in close to Trucy and whispers. "Is he here with us right now?"

Trucy nods.

"Perfect. Let's go somewhere private, I'd like to catch up." Ema grabs Trucy’s arm and starts dragging her away from the crime scene.

"But don't you have an investigation to do?" Trucy asks.

Ema shrugs. "Dude's dead. He ain't going nowhere. I'll get on it in a bit. Meekins, hold my calls."

"I-I-I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT, SIIIIIIRRRRRR!" Meekins yells into his loudspeaker.

Trucy takes Ema back to the Wright Talent Agency, formerly the Fey & Co Law Offices. She takes Phoenix off her shoulder, placing him on a cluttered table after clearing off a space for him (just kinda shoving some junk onto the floor).

Ema gets in close to Phoenix, violating his personal space just a little bit. She hasn't seen him, nor any other borrower, in years. They're elusive creatures, and any sort of scientific research into them is almost non-existent. She has, since they first met, had a desire to thoroughly study his biology and put together a full paper on borrowers, but he and Maya said something about "potentially catastrophic consequences" and "putting millions of borrowers at risk" so even her offers to only publish it posthumously, either after her passing or Phoenix's, were shut down.

Her curiosity had never quite been sated on that front. Though she didn't want Phoenix to feel uncomfortable around her or like he was nothing but an experiment, so she tries to keep the scientific angle to a minimum. Which is hard, since science is one of the few things she has left that bring her joy. Science, and snackoos. She can't resist asking at least one question.

"Soooo... How did this... Y'know... Happen?" She gestures to Phoenix and Trucy.

Phoenix looks up at her and closes his eyes, putting his fingers together and kind of making a triangle around his nose. He inhales deeply.

"That... is a long story."

-----

"...huh. So it's true, then? Maya's no longer practicing... But like, for real this time. Because, remember, when we first met she said she was retired-"

"Yes. Yes I remember, Ema. I was there too."

"Right. Well, anyway, that's too bad. I was really hoping I'd get to work on some cases with her. This prosecutor I'm working with, ugh, don't get me started. He's both glimmerous, AND a fop! It's like the worst two in one! I was planning to help her out just to spite him..." Ema leans back and munches on a few snackoos, a kind of annoyed look on her face.

"Well... You know... If he's that bad... I do have an in at the prosecutor's office... Maybe I could make things... A little difficult for him? Eh?"

"Would Mr. Edgeworth really do something like that?” Ema perks up.

“Well... maybe not. He’s been on a real ‘morals’ and ‘ethics’ kick the last couple years, he’d probably say it’s some sort of ‘abuse of the power and respect his position affords’. Like the square he is.” Phoenix crosses his arms and pouts.

“Damn.” Ema follows suit.

"...so, detective, huh?"

"Ugh, yeah. They wouldn't put me on the forensics team. Can you believe it? They expect me to actually investigate without the latest in scientific investigative technology? Do they think I'm some sort of barbarian? Or cro-magnon? Or maybe like a wild west samurai, or-"

"I get the picture, Ema."

"R-right. I just... Urggh!" Ema looks away and shoves a handful of snackoos in her mouth. "I jussh don shee ow zhey shink-" she swallows. "-I can actually solve any crimes if they don't even give me the basics. Like, CSI Miami circa 2004 at LEAST. I'm flopping here, Wright. FLOPPING!"

"Well... Y'know... If you ever need some help investigating... I was pretty good at figuring out the real culprit in court." Phoenix smirks at her. Ema's eyes go wide.

"You wanna... Ratatouille me?"

“Well, no- Maya knew absolutely nothing about the law, but you became a detective all on your own. I don’t think ‘ratatouille’ is the right word here. I just wanna lend a helping hand, if you want it.”

“You really trust me to keep you safe? To keep you a secret?”

Phoenix chuckles. “I trust Edgeworth to, don’t I?”

“Ha! Well, alright, Wright- What do you say we head down to the crime scene?” Ema puts her hand down palm-up next to him. Phoenix steps on and she lifts him up to her shoulder.

“Ummm, Daddy?” Trucy looks at Phoenix and makes a face.

“Riiiight, Truce. I forgot you were here for a minute. Just, uh... head on home, don’t tell Edgey about any of this.”

“Well of course not! He’d be sooooo mad at you.” Trucy winks and sticks her tongue out. “I’m just wondering how you’re gonna get home.”

“...hm. Ema, you can drop me off later, right? If not, Trucy should be fine walking across town in the middle of the night, won’t you, Truce?”

“You know I love the smell of a seedy alleyway after dark, Daddy!”

“That’s a good girl.”

“...no, uh, no, I think I’ll drop you off. It’s fine. I feel like as an officer of the law I’m supposed to discourage teenage girls from going out alone at night.” Ema makes a moderately concerned face but pretty quickly wipes it away when she realizes she doesn’t actually care that much.

“Come on, Wright.” Ema adjusts her hair to hide Phoenix on her shoulder. “Let’s go solve a murder.”

#ratattorney #phoenix and ema bonding over being depressed pathetic losers that failed to achieve their dreams is everything to me

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jatavia-nicole · 1 year

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https://music.apple.com/us/al

bum/at-least-we-tried/1627365840?

¡=1627366445

I wasn't raised around weak women, nor was I hurt by men my entire life. granted victimized in unspeakable ways sure but I didn't learn my relationship rules and roles from women. I was raised around men that beat their wives, had entire families yet still tended to all their hoes and side families with no one batting a eyelash... im talking the worst of the worst when it comes down to how to treat the person you claim to love and have started a family with.. my mom always talks about how great of a man my grandfather was... but left out how bad he beat my grandmother... he was always gentle and sweet with his kids and grandkids but not with the woman he loved... I studied that man. I wanted to embody what it meant to be him... drug dealing and all... especially the way he was able to treat women like the shit on the bottom of his shoe while they treated him like some type of messiah... till his death shit still to this day he garnered this unwavering love.

I set out on this journey to humble men. shit they know | treat them like shit they know i hate them to the say the least yet they have this magnetic pull towards me? They can’t get enough of being pushed and pulled almost… but with honesty. He was always honest he either told you or he just didn’t. Simple.

There’s this weird piece though because he always loved me he showed unwavering love and support to me growing up... in ways that i needed. so i kind of do the same when i come across a guy that i can tell is dealing with a lot. its weird tbh. kind of all over the place.

how can someone teach me how to love and build yet hate and destroy with no clear instructions on how and when to do these things. i never seen him cry so... i never cried.

sadness was met with anger and a angry me is a ignorant me.

here i am in a situation where i possibly love someone and i have to coach myself out of toxic tendencies because yes technically we aren't together but emotionally i don't want anyone else to see me as vulnerable as he has....or does... i also want to meet him with the same softness he meets me with i want to be those things he is to me and then some but i also don't want to lose my footing. i cant fathom the idea of having my feet swept from under me and landing on my face... but i also have these dark tendencies that yell GO FUCK SOMETHING! USE YOUR BODY TO NUMB YOUR PAIN! GO MAKE A GROWN ASS MAN YOUR BITCH JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN JUST BECAUSE YOURE THAT BITCH AND YOU HAVE THE POWER TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!!

but I cant? I don't want to... am i wrong for not doing these things that have nullified my emotions and made me numb? am i wrong for not wanting to completely disassociate from someone that has shown me actual patience and care? am i playing a stupid game?

having to constantly fight these toxic ways that have just festered and grew overtime is work. its really a lot of work. i don't feel like he understands sometimes…which can mean i don't feel like its appreciated... but i have to remind myself that this is for me... not for him... well in the moment yes... will it be in vain if this blows up in my face?? no because by the time I'm done with these toxic ideologies this will either be one of the most beautiful love stories... or one of the most beautiful mistakes ive ever made... my goals are in motion ive given myself a very narrow window and when I set my mind to something it gets done.

may 3rd 2023

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