#but yeah he definitely has issues and in his little private special episode he is 100% aware of them. he's not happy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

youwontlikethisblog · 3 years

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Adriana Arboleda

I find this episode so interesting and since I like to avoid many things, I've put off writing this post because I just don't know where to start.

Previously:

Armando was visibly upset when they mentioned the wedding in front of Betty, it was purely because he didn't want her to once again feel guilty and break things off. While at the same time he overheard a conversation with Nicolas and Betty that sounded like she was jealous and mad at him for "cheating" on her and that he was a bad boyfriend.

This feeds the distrust that Armando has towards Betty's fidelity and his insecurity regarding their relationship(and his role in Betty's life) as well as his rivalry that he has against Nicolas.

Betty was visibly upset with both Nicolas and Armando. For one because Nicolas really is a huge reason as to why Armando feels a certain distrust. As much as I find Nicolas endearing there's many things that annoy me from him. For example the fact that he continues to find ways to converse with Patty even though he knows that Betty doesn't like it, especially that she doesn't want Patty to know anything regarding where he works at and what he does, but Nicolas; to impress Patty, always brings up the topic of money to make himself more desirable. Yeah he's insecure and he wants to get her attention but that doesn't excuse his crappy behavior as Betty's best friend, someone that he considers as his family. That adds so much pressure, distrust, and resentment towards Betty and Armando's relationship. Yes Nic wasn't aware that they were in a relationship to begin with but Betty often times told him, reminded him, and got upset with him for telling or talking to Patsy Pats about Terra Moda or what he does for a living and the dangers of that information getting out.

Two: that Armando is getting married. For one it makes her feel inferior, that their relationship isn't as strong and that Armando isn't serious about her like she is of him.

Armando had convinced Betty to continue the affair, despite the fact he's getting married. He told her it was only for show, that he'd continue with the preparations of the wedding but call it off last minute. Mario had told him that he needed to get Betty on their side because she was the only one that could embellish the balance for the board meeting this is when we start getting the trails to the letter and why Betty rationalized Armando's behavior after reading the letter.

However that isn't the real reason as to why he goes to fix things. It's what he uses as an excuse to justify why he goes to fix things with Betty. Mario, to get him to do this, weaponized what Armando had told him earlier that day about what kind of relationship Betty and Armando have. Had Armando not shared any of what he did he wouldn't have had any ground to continue to manipulate him.

Currently:

It's the morning of the day AA arrives to Eco Moda. When Betty exist her office she sports a huge smile and greets Armando, who is absorbed by her presences and very content. His eyes follow her through his office as she moves around it and just the same, Betty's eyes are on him, barely noticing Mario. When she does, as she's about to exit the office she greets him, we see Armando with a smile just absorbed by her until Mario speaks and he composes himself to act like that didn't make him happy, joyful, at peace, etc...

Why does AA hold such a significance here?

Armando is now slowly accepting and willingly understanding his feelings(he does try to justify them as something else at times). Betty says she has felt this through his kisses and his affection towards her, that she knows that he loves her now and that he is faithful to her-when it comes to Marcela.

However as she said the previous night as she wrote in her diary that she isn't so sure about his love or fidelity when it comes to his true vice; the models. Models like AA.

Jealousy isn't something healthy in any relationship, even when media tries to paint jealousy as this normal and healthy thing that every person experiences, it's not.

In the previous post I mentioned what the definition of Jealous/y is. It's a combination of feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, or resentment but if you look up the definition of it it says "concern over the relative lack of possessions-"

Sometimes it isn't an object, rather a person, however the issue lays within the fact that person who feels the jealousy views said person as an object rather than a human. Armando's jealousy is possessive, insecure and resentful however Betty's jealousy is of inadequacy and insecurity. She doesn't feel resentful towards Armando for being attracted to "beautiful" women. She expects that from him.

AA represents Betty's insecurity as a woman in a physical form. When Betty finds out AA wants to see and speak with Armando privately she tries to stop that from happening, contrary to the past when she'd help the man out, this time she tries to stick to "he said he doesn't want to be bothered" but when Armando realizes who wants to speak to him he ignores his duties as the president of the company and the importance of him being in said meeting for the future collection, which will help Eco Moda be able to pay off its debt. Betty knows this so when she sees that Armando doesn't stop to think, at least of the company, much less consider her(the true nature of her anger), and that he is an easy prey or weak idiot to women like AA she gets angry at him but her jealousy lays where she feels the most insecure.

Armando forgets of Betty and how happy he was when he saw her that morning. Now all he can think about is AA.

AA is the symbol and the token object of Armando's weakness: seggs with society's "perfect" women. He places this "need" of his above anything, his responsibilities as president, as an engaged man, and as someone in an committed and mature relationship.

I find Mario's behavior interesting in this scene however. He stares at Armando with raised eyebrows and a frown on his face, contrary to before where he was trying to keep himself from laughing, however freaked out over Armando's feelings, this time he's annoyed at him.

I keep trying to figure out why he'd get annoyed at him for this. In this scene Betty is behind Mario, where Inesita and Armando have a clear view of her. Betty is trying to stay composed and not let the personal seep into the impersonal so Mario hasn't seen her. Yes we're fully aware that Mario is a man that is extremely detail oriented when it comes to human behavior which gives him an advantage to manipulate people and get whatever he wants out of them so he can simply assume, by Betty's tone, that she isn't pleased by this. However this scene and Mario's behavior is very much unlike him.

This is my speculation, not what we are being told.

Maybe based on how Armando had spoken about his relationship with Betty and his feelings for her, Mario was annoyed at Armando for his behavior like saying "How can you say you cherish her and that you love her as a friend and then do this to her? And yet I'm the terrible one? The one that doesn't understand why the plan is wrong? The one with iron skin?" or one could simply point out that Mario didn't want to get stuck doing most of the work in the meeting while Armando went off to spend time with a hot woman.

Later when Betty agrees that they should take a break, when Betty exits the office(I'm skipping that scene for now) and Mario is walking up to it he asks her if Armando is still in there, she tells him that he is and with AA. Mario then says he shouldn't go in there and interrupt them then but he notices Betty's demeanor and asks her if she's alright.

Betty doesn't look at him, she doesn't pay him attention. She doesn't even make eye contact with him so again Mario behaves naturally.

Of course he pretends to be unaware of the relationship Armando has with Betty. He says he won't go in there and interrupt them, but he pays close attention to Betty.

We're all fully aware that Mario would be capable of seducing Betty. He lacks all the moral and ethic rules to not do that. Mario is a villain, a well written one. So his behavior here is just odd imo.

I do believe and know based on his character, that Mario is also annoyed at Armando for screwing up once more, therefore jeopardizing the company and all that it implies. However, take into consideration what happened the previous day. Mario isn't stupid, he is way too smart. He knows that Armando deeply cares for Betty, he's known this all along though he has also tried to deny any true motive of Armando caring for Betty because she's ugly and he knows his best friend and only uses Armando's feelings towards Betty when it benefits him. He knows that Betty is important and special to Armando. Unlike Marcela.

Mario pointed this out the previous day when he told him that he[A] had made love with Marcela in the past but that from what Armando had shared it had never been sweet. He is fully aware that Betty is vastly different to all the other women Armando has been with and it's not only because she's "ugly" but because Betty is of extreme importance and significance to Armando.

Does Mario disprove of Armando's behavior towards AA being in Eco Moda? Yes.

For two reasons: One that Armando is screwing up the plan again. Two that Armando is a hypocrite who gets mad at him for making jokes about their relationship but then he goes and does that, (which is an even bigger disrespect to Betty, Armando's Betty.) all while constantly telling Mario that he is scum because he feels no guilt while he does.

Does Mario care about Betty's feelings? No and if he does it's not enough to make him have a change of heart because what he truly cares about is remaining in the social statues he's on with being the wingman of Armando.

Again even if he did care a little about how Betty feels it's not enough for him to re-evaluate his role in the plan and what comes above that is Eco Moda's ownership but it gives him more intel on how to manipulate Armando. In the meeting board, when he finally got a view of Betty when she went to sit back down at the table, Mario examined her quickly, did so as the meeting continued, glancing at her, studying her.

Resuming to a chronological order.

As Armando leaves to his office to speak privately to AA, Betty stays behind in the conference room with Inesita and Mario where as Mario said, she looked broken and not her computer like self.

Once Inesita suggest they take a break Betty says she'll go to her office, to which we see Mario with his worried expression, look at her and then turn to look towards Armando's office doors in a silent plea that Betty doesn't catch him indecent.

In their office, Armando is busy talking with AA so Betty doesn't catch some indecent Armando, but because she knows him, she knows that he's capable of acting like everything is normal. When she looks at AA she looks her up and down, insecure in herself as a woman with such a woman in the same room. Armando in this scene is absorbed by AA's body, a contrast to when he was absorbed by Betty's presence(that includes body). Barely paying attention to Betty and speaking to AA in an informal and casual way, something he doesn't even do with her. In some places in Latin America speaking formally is a sign of respect and impersonalism. When you speak more casually it implies a personalized relationship with someone: meaning that they have a more deeper connection than someone you work with, a friend, a family member, a lover, etc. Betty and Armando aren't even on that and they've had seggs.

Betty takes note of this, again, this now moves on from her simply being insecure as a woman to now being mad at Armando for behaving this way.

Once Betty exits the office to go grab their refreshments she overhears Armando call AA espectacular

Whenever Betty is mad she always places her hand to her hip. As she stops to talk to Marcela she does this, again implying her anger towards Armando.

The last thing I'll note about this whole AA thing at this time is how both Betty and Marcela react. Marcela goes into the office fuming, throwing shade and whatnot to display her jealousy towards AA and her possessiveness towards Armando, however Betty only displays her anger towards Armando while very minimalistically showing her jealousy because of AA.

Marcela's anger was targeted towards both of them while Betty's was towards Armando.

Later that day after AA leaves, Betty remains angry. When Armando tries to apologize for yelling at her, Betty ignores him and tells him they need to get back to work.

Armando not only made her feel insignificant as a woman but he also said she got on his last nerve, tell me you wouldn't feel bad about yourself and be mad at the person who did that.

Obviously Betty feels inferior to AA. Who wouldn't if we're being honest? She's hot. Again when it comes to Betty it isn't hard to understand or sympathies with her over this.

However lets just remember that Betty has always felt insecure and inferior as a human being and a woman.

Insecurity presents itself in many ways. For some it could be them acting loud and obnoxious, like Armando. For others it could be them never asking for anything or expecting anything because they believe they don't deserve anything, like Betty.

Slowly however, her relationship with Armando has built her self-esteem. She walks a bit taller, she doesn't have such a tremble in her voice anymore unless she's speaking to Marcela or Daniel. Even on this day she dresses differently. She sports a more juvenile outfit, there's a glow to her. Though her clothing isn't form fitting or revealing, she has changed her clothing. Even now since they started to date she doesn't wear the super long skirts with the very boxy blazers from the shoulders or the clothes she wore at the start of the show. She wears the green dress, the yellow, red, and black dress often and the green skirt suit(the olive green one with the skirt that's shorter than all the other ones she wears).

In the past, on one of their first dates, Betty joked that she was ugly and Armando got upset with her, told her that he didn't like that and that she needed to respect herself. Ironic ain't it?

Armando's sole attention has given her a boost of ego, but his confirmation the night they sinned(lol) that he too felt what she felt for him, which was desire, has helped her a lot. Again to recall what her first time was like, this second time around it built her self-esteem. Especially because since then Armando hasn't been able to keep his hands to himself whenever Betty and him have been alone together, out of office hours.

(Currently listening to the YSBLF playlist on Spotify and honestly I just wanna dance)

The previous night though aware of Armando's fidelity to her when it came to Marcela, which was why she said she felt no jealousy or the likes in regards to that relationship(outside of guilt) she still is very aware of Armando's s. addiction tendencies. It isn't only a matter in which Armando is weak to women like that that even when he doesn't want to cheat on Marcela or whomever, he still falls for their manipulative or even pushy tactics to get him to sleep with them.

Let's not forget that Betty knows Armando and his behavior when it comes to the Models because unlike Marcela who has only seen snip bits when she stands behind him when he's flirting, Betty has seen it and heard it all from Armando. She has been in the room when Armando and Mario discuss how to get away with his affairs, she has seen him in action, she has even heard and seen the way he plays women. However Betty lacks the knowledge we have of Armando's seggsual affairs.

What does this mean?

To Betty, this weakness of Armando is solely based on the body of the women he is sleeping with(which are all A Grade) and though to some degree this is true(his obsession with perfection etc.) there's more to it. Armando, aside from having slept with her and saying he desired her, has never acted eager to jump her bones or expressed it like he has about all the other women he has been with. He has never made her feel validated as women for her body, though she knows he has an emotional attraction to her, she doesn't believe he has a physical one(I'll get to that scene in time ok! for now I'm talking about it like they haven't screwed again) for her, or at least one that matters. So when she sees AA in the office and she looks her up and down Betty compares herself, not as Armando's girlfriend, but as a woman in general.

For us women looks are the most important and most valuable thing we're told we have. Without them, what are we?

When you grow up being the "other" of society standards for women you grow up with no self-worth. Comparing yourself to others becomes second nature. We know Betty has said she grew up lonely, only Nicolas was her friend, kids in school made fun of her. She never had this moment when she looked at herself and was at least okay with what she was staring at. The contrary, she hated it but learned to tolerate it. Her self deprecating jokes were her acceptance of it, her way to cope with the way the world treated her. It was for her to be able to not care as much about it. However the way people treat her based on her looks still stings and this time it's a lot more.

Could you put yourself in her shoes? All your life you go about it feeling lonely, ugly, unwanted, inadequate, etc. and one day after so much heart ache, a terrible relationship that left you emotionally disfigured and scarred, a man that is desired by so many women AND men, who is "educated", "smart", handsome and has a good sense of humor pays attention to you, how would you feel?

Realistically speaking; a lot more insecure.

Some people hate themselves so much that they hate when people take notice of them because it's like saying "you have terrible taste if you like me, therefore you are not as great." Burdening someone with your own self-hatred. Betty has shown this in the past, when Armando first started to pursue her. She asked him time and time again why he'd be interested in her or notice her because a man like him could never notice her as more than just his employee.

AA is the incarnation of Betty's own dilema. Her self-hatred and insecurity as a woman because in her eyes she lacks beauty. Body wise she doesn't have Meat on her bones, she has frizzy wavy hair, doesn't wear makeup and has one eyebrow plus a mustache. However, despite this, Armando has fallen in love with her and in a matter of seconds this is shattered.

Armando forgets who Betty is for him. He forgets what he feels for her, the importance and significance of her to him and his life and is enveloped with the idea of AA wanting to speak to him and not in this "fanatic" manor but as a man wanting to conquer. Betty's ego isn't only hurting but she(in complete) is hurting by this. Next to Marcela she knows she is the one to hold Armando's heart and now his desires, but next to women like AA, she is insignificant not just as a woman, but as a person in general.

Especially after Armando yells at her, after a long time of not doing so, he yells at her in front of AA, he forgets Betty is even in the room or in the world. While with Marcela he tries not to bring her up or the subject of the wedding because he knows it hurts her(visibly kept glancing towards her office when AA was asking about it, confirming that whenever he seeks her comfort when she isn't with him in the room he'll be facing or standing by her office), he doesn't even consider her when AA is the room. She's heard him say he'd forget all of his commitments and relationships and run away with AA and marry her, just that day she saw him kiss a picture of her and basically make out with it.

She believes that unlike Marcela, AA is real competition because she's hawt(even though Marcela is hawt too) however she knows that Armando isn't in love with Marcela or even interested in her for that fact but she knows that Armando is of AA. However again because Betty is so insecure as a woman she believes that she isn't even in a competition with AA, because if AA wanted to, she'd take Armando and he wouldn't even put up a fight, he'd go willingly on the first attempt. Add that to Armando saying that Betty gets on his last nerve?

He dug his own grave.

One could ask how is it possible that Armando didn't pick up on Betty being jealous?

For one because Armando has only experienced Marcela's jealousy which is loud and arrogant. She throws shade, she yells at him, she demands from him. Betty doesn't do that. She interrupts his one on one time with AA by entering his office and looking for some paper work. She drops a box full of things to ruin any momentum he could be building with AA. Her jealousy is displayed in quiet and timid ways. The one time it she makes it "loud" enough is when she hears Armando flirting with AA and steps out of her office and stands in the middle of them, until he notices her, but then, after she bumps into him, he yells at her. You can tell right away this isn't just like when he yelled at her in the past that it made her want to cry(I mean who doesn't want to cry when they're being yelled at) but this time it was something that hurt her deeply. For the reasons mentioned above.

And two because he's clueless. Though in the past episodes we have seen Armando learn to be in sync with Betty's feelings and make an effort to be attentive and understanding, all of that work of his is thrown out the window when AA appears, making Betty not only feel inferior and insecure as a woman in general but making her feel like she's nothing, not even in a "my fav. employee" type of way. He makes her feel worthless as his girlfriend.

This is when the hurt moves on to anger.

Anger at herself and anger at him for making her feel this way.

When the Love Guru brings all of this to his attention, Armando has a face of realization.

He truthfully thought Betty was just being her unaware and naïve employee self. The one who trips, who doesn't back up her files on disks, y'know, the one she was at the start of the novel. He doesn't think that Betty is acting out in jealousy because again she doesn't act like Marcela does.

When he finally realizes this thanks to Mr. Dimples, we see the sudden "oh crap" face. Like it all made sense and he knew he messed up.

It's interesting to see how these scenes play such a huge roll to Betty finally speaking up in the relationship later that night.

Sorry this post took so long for me to write. I wanted to fully understand the huge significance of Adriana Arboleda as she has been one since the start of their affair, unbeknownst of Betty.

#armando mendoza #analysis of ysblf #don armando #armando ysblf #betty pinzón solano #beatriz pinzón solano #beatriz pinzon solano #betty ysblf #betty #betty la fea #Adriana Arboleda

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tomoonine · 4 years

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[reaction] oneus’ idol!s/o being shipped with another member

Oh, I didn’t know you were going to do a continuation of Ravn’s scenario 😅. I can’t wait to read it! And the fact that it’s named after one of my favorite songs just makes me more excited! I’ve been addicted to “One (Lucid Dream)” ever since it was released, haha. Since my last request was declined, can I get a Oneus reaction where they’re in a secret relationship with their idol!s/o, and their fans start shipping their s/o with another member of Oneus?

☽. it’s alright!! i tried to keep it a secret since i haven’t finalized the plotline yet, but i hope you look forward to that one! hope you like this one too anon! i let my mind run freely while writing ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ if you enjoyed reading this, please check out more in my masterlist! requested: yes; anon word count: 1.6k words

[RAVN] —

It sometimes disappoints Youngjo that he can’t publicly display his affection

He’d keep his longing stares short when you stand on stage together during music shows, saving all his affection for another time through private messaging

It’s difficult, but he can manage

He’s alright just watching your activities from the screen, because he knows that you’re aware that he’s always supporting you

So he’s definitely watching your special appearance in a reality show, not only because you’re there, but because Keonhee was going to be another guest

It was perfect for both of you, because it was a special halloween special where you had to go to a horror house

And while everyone had a good laugh from it, people started to notice how much chemistry you two had, and tried to partner you two for more activities

People on social media would urge your companies to consider a vocal collaboration, a special stage, practically anything because they really liked your combination (and inevitably, shipping)

Is he jealous? Yeah a little bit, because if you had to do a collab... He’d want to be the one you duet with... Like he’s written a couple of songs you guys could do together... Might as well... Collab... Now...

He’d jokingly warn Keonhee that he should be careful

But you know that later when you’re alone, you’re going to have to convince him that you two have the best dynamic (bcoz he’s going to whine for cuddles and kisses lol)

[Seoho] —

It was an honest mistake really

Seoho was supposed to like the tweet of your recent cover of Wicked’s “Defying Gravity” from your group’s twitter account using his private account

Except he accidentally,, forgot to log off of ONEUS’ account,,, and boy did it cause such an uproar among ToMoons,,,

But the thing is, they actually thought it was Dongju’s doing since he’s an avid fan of musicals

So at that point, everyone believed that Dongju probably had a crush on you or something

Seoho found it funny at first, he’d even tease Dongju about it for fun

HOWEVER... When you actually made a comment about the love you received for your musical cover, that’s when everyone completely lost it and started believing that you and Dongju had something going on in secret

Was it still funny to Seoho? Yeah a little bit, but when it got out of hand, he’d be very pouty about it :<

It may not be enough to make him consider publicizing your relationship, but he’ll probably subtlely ask you to reassure him from time to time

You definitely make sure to remind him that you only love him even if he tends to take the issue very lightly

Regardless, both of you trust each other a lot so there won’t be big issues stemming from it!!

Although since both of you tend to be playful, there are times where you tend to baby Dongju when he’s around just to tease Seoho

He’ll probably sulk for a bit, but he knows you only love him anyway!! uwu

[Leedo] —

You and Geonhak have known each other for years, in fact you knew each other since pre-debut

But you know who else knew you since pre-debut? Youngjo does, because you three used to train in the same company before joining your respective companies now

All three of you never really brought up your relationship with each other, more so for Geonhak who was actually dating you in secret

However, when an old picture of all three of you begins to resurface in the internet, that’s when people started assuming that you and Youngjo had some special chemistry going on since he was holding onto you comfortably in the image

He’s definitely shocked at the rumors because for one, he has no idea how that picture managed to surface in the first place

And two, it concerns two people that mean a lot to him, and it might put everyone at an awkward position (and could harm your reputation as well)

Geonhak trusts both of you with all his heart, so he bears no ill feelings over the entire matter

Although he still can’t help but feel a bit worried about the public’s perspective, so he does his best to bring it up to both you and Youngjo since you’re all close friends after all

It ends up with both you and the two to clear things up if it gets brought up in an interview or something similar

Except this time, you emphasize on your friendship as a trio, and everyone starts to acknowledge that all three of you are just close friends!!

Geonhak won’t mind this set-up since it will give him opportunities to be close to you in public

And he’ll decide to worry about publicizing your relationship when the time comes

[Keonhee] —

To be honest, it was to be expected that you would end up having a special stage with Seoho and a couple of other idols

You were a vocalist of your group after all, and since Seoho’s a main vocalist, it seemed inevitable that it’d happen

Like okay, maybe he complained a little bit because hello?? He’s also a main vocalist :<

But he agreed that maybe Seoho’s style fit better with everyone in the group (he thinks Seoho can do anything, and your voice matches anything too, and that’s on Talent !)

And everyone apparently shared the same sentiment, which is good because Keonhee thinks your performance with Seoho was absolutely astounding

Except aside from the performance being astounding, everyone seemed to think that your tandem was astounding and romantic

It was to be expected though, because Seoho was comfortable enough to send glances towards you jokingly, and you’d retaliate with your own winks

Supportive King Keonhee lived for your amazing facial expressions, but he’s probably going to playfully glare at Seoho for actually pulling all that

On that day, he’d go live on the V App and talk about the performance, and he’d subtly compliment you in the guise of praising the other artists who were there

But of course, he’d get his revenge on Seoho by jokingly saying that his glances and winks look like something went in his eye lmao

He’s proud of you and he knows you love him, but he’s also a little petty so he’s not sorry for making those cheeky jokes HAHAHA

[Hwanwoong] —

Hwanwoong loved you for your genuine heart, and for how nice you were to everyone you met regardless of age, nationality, ethnicity, and practically everything

So it was no surprise to him that you’d end up casted for a reality show that dealt a lot with interacting with people around you

He’d watch the show every time he was free, and Hwanwoong always seems to grow to love you more every time you do humanitarian work in the show

In this particular episode, you were going to help out at a local preschool, and surprise surprise !! They were able to get Geonhak as a special guest since he was so known for taking up Early Childhood Education

It was really endearing to watch!! It wasn’t awkward at all because you knew Oneus well!! It was very wholesome really

But as soon as you asked Geonhak to dance the 5G choreograph in front of the kids (to which he did after being coerced to), a lot of people began to wonder just how close you were with him to even know it existed

The reactions made Hwanwoong panic a little bit, because regardless of you being shipped with anyone or him, it’s still going to cause suspicion (@_@)

He’s more worried about how it would affect you though, considering the stigma towards dating

But he’ll never forget to congratulate you for a job well done (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

Especially because you were able to make Geonhak dance like that in live television LOL

Catch him teasing Geonhak for whatever happened in the reality show to lighten the rumor HAHAHAHA

[XION] —

It’s really funny how it all ended up like this

It was a joke at first, how it just so happened that both you and Hwanwoong coincidentally wore the same top on the way to a music show

Your stylist may have reformed the article of clothing to fit you best, but because some people are quick to jest about how idols wearing the same thing are dating, the rumors started circulating fast

And in fairness, Dongju was also quick to tease you and Hwanwoong about it

But it went a bit out of hand when it happened again, and again,, and again,,,

It’s a meme on stan twitter, one that is worthy of a struggle tweet entry, but there are actual fans who are starting to be suspicious about the whole situation

Dongju still finds it funny though because,,, I mean yeah, someone from Oneus, but not Hwanwoong LOL

It’s also an inside joke among you and your group mates, and sometimes you’d pout at your stylist for pulling the matching clothes again (but rest assured,,, these are all coincidental,,,)

Will Dongju be too worried about it? Probably not as much as you’d think, he truly finds it amusing how it’s all playing out truthfully

In fact, he might be the type to play around a bit, asking his stylist if he could coordinate with your stylist on an outfit just to mess with ToMoons

He trusts the fans to find the situation fun as much as he does and that they wouldn’t harm you in any way for it

But just because he ends up color coordinating with you this time, it doesn’t mean he’s going to be free from a struggle tweet entry with you

The internet will find a good space for a struggle tweet with you and Dongju together, but it’s a subtle relationship flex to him uwu

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the-desolated-quill · 4 years

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It’s Summer And We’re Running Out Of Ice - Watchmen (TV Series) blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. if you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

I’m not going to lie. I was incredibly sceptical going into this. This isn’t the first TV adaptation of a classic novel to go beyond the source material and try to continue the story, and they nearly always suck (see The Handmaid’s Tale and The Man In The High Castle). There’s a reason why books end where they’re supposed to end. If the author intended to carry the story on, they would have done so. This is why I get angry when the TV industry arrogantly oversteps the mark and try to continue a plot that has already come to a satisfactory conclusion. Doing a sequel to Watchmen, a story that hinges on the ambiguity of its ending, is just utter madness to me, and allowing Damon Lindelof to write that sequel borders on moronic at first glance. This is the man behind the TV series Lost, a show that ran out of steam within the first couple of episodes due to the fact that the plot was complete and total bollocks and the fact that nobody could be bothered to come up with satisfying answers for these ludicrous mysteries and series arcs beforehand. They were just making that shit up as he went along. Now you’re handing Lindelof the keys to one of the most intricate and detailed comic book properties of all time?! Fuck, why don’t you just let JJ Abrams direct the next Star Wars mo- Oh yeah, I forgot, he already did that.

Thankfully, judging by this first episode anyway, HBO’s Watchmen is nowhere near as bad as Lost. It’s certainly far more engaging and coherent. Does that mean I’m looking forward to the rest of this season? Well... I don’t know if I’d go that far. I’m definitely intrigued though.

HBO’s Watchmen is a sequel to the graphic novel (Lindelof called it a remix, but come on. Grow a pair and call it what it is. A sequel). Superheroes are still illegal, Robert Redford is now the President, Rorschach’s death has inspired a white supremacist cult, and it’s raining squid.

Yeah, the raining squid thing feels like the only egregious bit of fanwank in here, to be fair. Maybe they’re going somewhere with this, but I have my doubts. Are we supposed to assume that Ozymandias has been making squid rain for the past thirty odd years in order to keep up the whole alien invasion ruse? Why squid rain? And why is everyone so nonchalant about it? Shouldn’t people be just a bit concerned by this, considering what happened in New York?

Speaking of Ozymandias, we see him riding a horse and writing plays for his butler and maid in some fancy mansion. Quite what the significance of The Watchmaker’s Son is, I don’t know. All I do know is I’m not going to be able to sleep at night without thinking about Jeremy Irons’ thighs from now on, so thanks for that.

Putting my cynicism aside for a moment, I do like what Lindelof is trying to do here. He’s not merely cashing in on the Watchmen brand. There is a genuine effort to do something fresh and different with this material, and I commend that. Watchmen’s central theme has always been about power, but whereas the source material focused mainly on its relation to sex (Comedian’s hedonism, Nite Owl’s impotence, Rorschach’s mummy issues and the sexual objectification of Silk Spectre), the TV series seems to be zeroing in on race as a topic. This I applaud. Expanding on certain areas that the graphic novel only ever really touched upon is a great idea. This doesn’t feel like a repeat of the graphic novel, but rather a clarification of it, exploring areas and themes that Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons may have overlooked. This helps set this series apart from the outset.

The opening scenes where we see the Tulsa Massacre of 1921 is a pretty harrowing way to start. I’m ashamed to say I had no idea about the Tulsa Massacre prior to this, and we could have a whole other discussion about why schools seem to have been avoiding teaching specific topics like this in favour of the broad strokes of the Jim Crow era, but now is not the time. The fact that it’s depicted here sets the stage for what’s to come. Some have criticised the show for the length of time the opening focuses on Tulsa, claiming that it sensationalises the pain of black people at that time. I personally don’t think it does. It’s not overly graphic or gratuitous, at least in my opinion, but it is a very shocking way to open a series. Some might say even upsetting, but I think it’s important that we saw this because it’s relevant in setting the tone for the episode and indeed the season as a whole, as well as letting the audience know that this show isn’t going to fuck around or shy away from more sensitive topics, and I can respect that. Unlike Zack Snyder’s overly stylised adaptation from 2009, Watchmen the HBO series is grounded very firmly in reality.

Let’s discuss characters. This episode mostly focuses on Angela Abar, also known as Sister Night. Regina King has given some terrific performances in the past and this is no exception. She’s simply phenomenal. The way she switches from light-hearted wife and baker to violent, no nonsense vigilante cop. The shift is noticeable and yet both personas feel like they’re aspects of the same character. It’s exceptionally good. It also helps that the character herself makes for a great protagonist. Having survived the ‘White Night’ four years prior, where the Seventh Kavalry attacked the families of forty Tulsa police officers in response to the government giving special reparations to the victims of racial injustice, Angela has become cynical and battle hardened. She has no sympathy for Kavlary members and is willing to skip due process by beating one of them to a pulp and bundling him in the back of her car. She’s angry and in pain, and yet retains the audience's sympathy. I’m interested to see what happens to her over the course of the season.

I also really liked her friendship with Don Johnson’s character Judd Crawford. Johnson is a charismatic performer and Crawford is a charismatic character. He really dives into the olde western sheriff persona and seems to be having a lot of fun with it. Crawford is the only other character, besides Angela, who stayed on as a police officer after the White Night, and the two characters seem to have a great relationship. They laugh and joke around and there’s clearly a mutual respect between the two. I genuinely like this character, which is what makes his murder at the end so much more heartbreaking. Not to mention all the little details that force us to realise he may not be what he seems. We see him sniff cocaine in private and there’s a photo on his desk featuring the kid from school who aggressively asked Angela why black people deserve reparations. It doesn’t necessarily mean that Crawford himself is racist, but there’s clearly more going on with him that we don’t know about.

The final character of interest at the moment is Tim Blake Nelson’s character Wade Tillman, aka Looking Glass. We don’t know anything about him yet other than he’s a human lie detector, which I find very intriguing and I hope will be explored further as the show goes on. There’s a lot to play around with there, and the moral implications are tantalising. A conviction based not on physical evidence, but rather on the observations of one man. Even Sherlock Holmes has to back his deductions up with evidence, and yet Looking Glass clearly doesn’t need to. That just raises so many ethical questions. What if he has a particular bias towards someone? What about burden of proof? What if forensic evidence contradicts him? If Looking Glass is supposedly that accurate, does that mean the police will side with him regardless? It’s a great premise for a character and I really like Nelson’s performance, giving him a cold and detached personality that contrasts beautifully with Angela’s.

The characters and ideas are solid, however where I feel the show is lacking is with the consistency of its world building. Let’s analyse. This is an alternate history where Nixon used superheroes to extend his term limits, but after the New York attack at the end of the graphic novel, he’s been kicked out in favour of Robert Redford (nice nod to the source material there by the way. lol). As a result, black people got reparations for the racial injustices their ancestors went through and police are now unable to openly carry firearms without special permission from Panda (literally a cop wearing a panda costume). However, after the events of White Night, the government agrees to allow cops to wear masks to protect their identities, hence why quote/unquote ‘superheroes’ like Sister Night and Looking Glass are around despite the existence of the Keene Act. These are, in effect, legal vigilantes. Except already there’s a problem with conflicting messages. I like the idea of masked cops. In the current age of Black Lives Matter and police accountability, it makes sense and could be interesting to explore. However this is hindered by the whole ‘no guns’ stuff. Again, not a bad idea. America’s current gun laws are, to put it mildly, woefully inadequate. What if we went the other way? What if not only was it near impossible to own a gun, cops couldn’t even use a taser without special permission. Both ideas could work... but not at the same time.

Cops being allowed to wear masks creates the effect of empowering them through anonymity, and runs the risk of officers overstepping the mark and normal citizens being unable to hold them to account. But on the other hand, we’ve also got cops whose lives are constantly at risk and who are hindered in their duties by an overprotective nanny state, which effectively depowers them. So... which is it? It can’t be both. I like the scene where Panda reads the law about how the use of firearms can only be permitted in extreme circumstances, and everyone just angrily shouts him down because it tells us how the police feel about this new system. The fact that they’ve made one cop the sole arbiter of these new restrictions and forced him to dress like some ridiculous furry demonstrates the sheer amount of disdain they have towards this policy. But having said that, with the masks on, they have the power and freedom to break into people’s caravans and basically kidnap and assault them without consequence anyway. So what the fuck are they complaining about? It just doesn’t gel together. Either have it that the rules and regulations of the police are the same as our world except that cops can wear masks now, which has led to an increasing problem of police brutality and corruption, or have it that the police are being too heavily restricted and so a few have chosen to turn toward more ‘unorthodox’ methods of crime fighting out of frustration. Pick one and go with it.

Then there’s the Seventh Kavalry. Again, not a bad idea. In fact I love it. A white supremacist cult that’s taken Rorschach’s journal as gospel and have banded together out of a fear of being sidelined in a more liberal world. Very relevant and very interesting. Except... well... there’s not an awful lot to it, is there? In the original graphic novel, there was no clear bad guy. Ozymandias believed he was doing the ultimate good by killing millions of people to save the world, and everyone reluctantly went along with it. It was morally complicated. This, not so much. They’re unambiguously evil. The end. So what? What is there to discuss? It just feels lacking compared to the graphic novel and it runs the risk of creating a conflict that’s too clear cut. Obviously we’re going to end up siding with the cops, regardless of what they do, because the alternative is objectively bad. Hopefully Lindelof is going somewhere with this, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t say I was slightly concerned.

So on the whole, would I say I enjoyed this first episode? Well... I’d say I did, but with reservations. There’s some good characters and ideas that could be interesting to explore and develop, but its execution feels a little shaky in places. Hopefully the episodes to come will offer further clarity.

#it's summer and we're running out of ice #watchmen #watchmen hbo #damon lindelof #dc #hbo #review #spoilers

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notebooknebula · 4 years

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How to Build a Passive Rental Portfolio with Lane Kawaoka

https://www.jayconner.com/how-to-build-a-passive-rental-portfolio-with-lane-kawaoka/

Jay Conner (00:09): Well hello and welcome back to another exciting episode of Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner. I'm Jay Conner, your host and The Private Money Authority. And if this is your first time to the show, I want to give you a special welcome here on the show. We talk about everything related to real estate investing. We talk about all kinds of deals, we talk about single family houses, apartments, commercial land, sell storage and on and on and on. And if you've been following and listening in for a little while, you know I've had just some amazing guests and experts here on the show and today is no exception. But before I bring on my special guests today, I've got a free gift for everybody and that is if you are looking for more funding for your deals, regardless of what your mortgage broker or your hard money lender or such my site, I've got a free on demand online class that gives you the 5 steps that shows you exactly how I went from having no funding to over $2 million in funding in less than 90 days.

Jay Conner (01:12): So you can check it out and get right on over to www.JayConner.com/MoneyPodcast. So with that, I am so excited to have as my guest today, a good friend of mine also, we're in a mastermind group. His name is Lane Kawaoka and he currently owns 2,600 units as in apartments and et cetera across the United States. What you're going to love about listening to Lane today is that he is truly a virtual investor, meaning he lives in Hawaii, but all of his investments are in elsewhere in the United States. So we recently quit his day job as a professional engineer and he is now enjoying the wealth and the freedom that I know all of you all are looking for.

Jay Conner (02:11): So what Lane does is he partners with investors who want to build a portfolio but are too busy to mess with the tenants and the toilets and the termites, et cetera, by curating opportunities. And his company, which was called the HUI Deal Pipeline Club. Whereas investors have personal access to him and know that Lane is perfectly putting his money on the line too as well. Well, his pipeline club has acquired over $155 million of real estate and it's acquired by syndicating over $15 million of private equity just since 2016 so he's also another great connection as I am in this world of private money. So what Lane does is he reverse engineers the wealth building strategies that the rich use to the middle class via the 50 investing podcast, which you can check out. It's SimplePassiveCashflow.com and Lane's mission is to help hardworking professionals out of the rat race one free strategy call at a time. So with that, Lane welcome to the show!

Lane Kawaoka (03:15): Hey, thanks for having me, Jay. Aloha!

Jay Conner (03:17): Aloha. I love it. I love it. Like what's that thing you call when you put them around the neck and they welcome you to Hawaii, a lei. There you go. There you go. Yeah, well, as I said about Lane and I are in a high end mastermind group and we've gotten to know each other and in fact we were in the same focus group at our last mastermind meeting and I was just very, very intrigued with Lane and what he's got going on and it's therefore invited him here to the show. So whether you are a investor with capital or if you are a real estate investor and you're just sort of tired of going to the local REIA club, hanging around some broke people and you actually want to change what that looks like, you're definitely going to want to tune in today closely and learn how to connect with Lane. So Lane, give us your background story. How did you get, well, first of all, before you give us your background story, give us an overview of what you've got going on in this world of real estate investing. I mean, you've got over 2,600 units. What does that look like?

Lane Kawaoka (04:23): Yeah. So I'm kind of more evolved buy and hold investor instead of buying one of single family homes these days, I get sent apartment deals that get syndicated and I get to know the operators and sponsors and I do my due diligence, run the numbers, get the PNLs and rent rolls. Then I see if I want to invest and to bring along my investors with me.

Jay Conner (04:45): I got you. So you just said through syndication, just to make sure everybody understands what we're talking about. What do you mean when you say syndication?

Lane Kawaoka (04:56): Yeah, so a lot of these properties that, you know, say you're buying a hundred unit building, you know, you're going to need a couple of million dollars with down payment and you know, potentially funding from someone like yourself. But you know, you're going to get that private equity raise to get the big loan with the bank who controls 80% of it and you're going to pick up a $5 million property. Most people don't have $2 million lying around, nor is it very smart to you know, most of my investors, we go by this principle, we don't put any more than 5% of our net worth and to any one deal, [right?] So we diversify it over multitude of these types of syndications.

Jay Conner (05:38): So really what we're saying, when you say syndication, what we're talking about is using other people's money, private money, and having them invest into the deals with you. Right?

Lane Kawaoka (05:46): Right, right. So we create a couple of asset classes for general partners and limited partners, you know, limit partners, very little liability. They don't do anything other than bring your money in and check some monthly statements and hopefully we all get to the destination. Right?

Jay Conner (06:05): Exactly. Exactly. So you're living in Hawaii, none of your investments are there. All of your commercial properties are elsewhere in the United States. So how do you decide where you want to invest and where to go look for deals?

Lane Kawaoka (06:23): Yeah, I mean, my first criteria is cash flow. So the rent to value ratio is kind of what governs where I even start looking. So just like when I was buying single family homes, you know, I'm looking for a hundred thousand dollar house that rents for at least a thousand dollars a month. Because at that point I know I can pay all my expenses, all my mortgage expenses, and have a little bit buffer there to be able to cash flow because let's face it, I think over sessions coming up in the future and you know, even if the price goes down a little bit, I still want to be able to cash flow

Jay Conner (06:59): sure. That makes sense. So is there any particular area of the country or cities that you are focusing on or not focusing on?

Lane Kawaoka (07:09): Yeah, I mean most of the deals that I kind of look at are in the Southeast. More of the red States with very landlord friendly and a lot of blue color job force growth out there. A lot of manufacturing. Some of these places might be more tertiary market settlers. People hear less about, you know, like a Huntsville, Alabama, Birmingham, Alabama, Gulf port, Mississippi, Lake Charles, Louisiana. You know, those are typical markets that we like to target as emerging markets.

Jay Conner (07:43): I got ya. So let's say you know, you've determined a particular city or area or the Southeast that you want to focus on. So where do you go find the deals? I mean there's other websites that you use. Do you use direct mail campaigns? I mean, if somebody is starting out, where do they go to look?

Lane Kawaoka (08:01): Yeah, I mean if you're starting out, I mean, I hate to say this, but you don't have a shot. I mean, I think in single family homes, we can all agree, most deals, 80% of them are found off market in the commercial realm, over 50 units, 80% of deals are controlled by brokers. Unless you close a hundred or 200 units before, he ain't going to get a shot at closing. This next one, people are saying, well, what about the other 20% that are out there? It's like, yeah, you can direct market a sophisticated seller who owns an apartment, but unless that property is some huge issues and you know, I target properties that are 90% occupied or more, so I can get that qualified for them. Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, non-recourse Monday, I won't really want to deal with those 20% problem property even though they're out there. So it's an unfair game.

Jay Conner (08:54): Yeah. So you

Jay Conner (08:56): say if you've never done one of these deals is going to be very hard for you to break in. So how does somebody start?

Lane Kawaoka (09:04): Well, I mean that's where most of our investors, they've done a bunch of single family homes. They fill up their net worth to be half a million dollars or more. They've gotten sophisticated in terms of they know the risks of real estate and they know how it works. But then they come into deals as a passive investor and they invest anywhere from $30,000 to $50,000 into a deal. And it's kind of buying your way into a big company. But it's, you know, you know the operators,

Jay Conner (09:36): right? So in other words, to really get started in this game, you need to be partnering up someone starting out. It needs to be like partnering up with someone like you that's already got the relationships that already knows the ropes that already knows how to do the workings of the deal. Right?

Lane Kawaoka (09:52): Right! And because we follow, we follow SPC protocol and there's a big thing about mass smart it being out there. So a lot of it, is you have to have a preexisting relationship with the sponsor you're going to work with. [Right] Most deals out there, 90 to 97% of deals are for non-acute investors, but you need to have a preexisting relationship.

Jay Conner (10:18): Exactly. I got you. So what's a realistic ride-over return that people can anticipate to get in these types of deals?

Lane Kawaoka (10:26): You know, from the get go, a lot of these properties with prudent leverage on it, your cash line, you know, high single digits, you know, maybe 8% that's usually, but these properties along of course cap rate compression has kind of taken over and it's hard to find these properties, which is why you've got to get about a thousand properties to find one that actually works. But the kind of deals that we kind of folk it's on or actually today, but there's some kind of value add opportunity. For example, putting about $4,000 into every unit with new paint, new flooring. And then it's just like on a pig. So they, we can raise those rents. 50 a hundred dollars if you get that bump in net operating income, which in commercial real estate, that's your operating income divided by your cap rate equals your, market place.

Jay Conner (11:22): Okay. So lane, you know, we hear people in your space and apartments talking about primary, you know, secondary, you know, other types of markets. So what's your comment and thought about, you know, should you invest in particular kinds of markets or not invest in particular kinds of markets?

Lane Kawaoka (11:42): Yeah, so I mean just to kind of define it for folks who don't know what primary, secondary, tertiary markets are. Primary markets are your top tier markets like Los Angeles, Hawaii, York, San Francisco, Seattle. You're not going to find the rent to value ratios out there to be able to cash flow. Now you know, I'm not going to knock anybody strategy in terms of investing, but my strategy is I want to cash flow on the property because my number one was not to lose money. You know, [that's a good rule.] You know that whole, you know, investing in those kinds of markets. Yeah. Everybody wants to live in a place like Seattle or San Francisco and generally the prices are going to be going up. But you know, we all seen what happened in the past and there's always going to be another recession where the prices kind of tank.

Lane Kawaoka (12:36): Again, I would rather skew my portfolio to more of, Hey, the property creates more rental income than it has an expenses and it can support itself. You regardless of what the market price is and when I can do that, I can sell at the right time whenever I want, at my price I want to be in. So to do that you need to go to a little bit off the beaten path to secondary markets like Birmingham, Atlanta, Indianapolis, Kansas City, Memphis, Little Rock or tertiary markets, which are about 50 a hundred thousand in population. Like you know, I guess El Paso is probably a larger Trisha market, but a Lake, Charles, Louisiana, Huntsville, Alabama would be good examples of tertiary markets.

Jay Conner (13:24): All right, I got you now. So that's the markets. So let's talk about for a moment the different kinds of properties or assets. So you know, in the commercial world you hear people talking about class A, assets class B, assets, class C assets. First of all, define for everybody what are these different types of classes of assets and what should you invest in?

Lane Kawaoka (13:48): Yeah, so the A-class or your brand new properties, these are the luxury assets that you know are usually brand new builds built anywhere from the last 20 years till now. The class B assets are kind of your 1980s 1990s vintage, a little bit older. And then the class C assets are like your 1950s to 1970s it doesn't go by age. There's no hard and fast rule, but you know, you talk to a broker, of course they're gonna bump up the rating on you for one grade, right? But you know, investors, you know, kinda know this lingo and they can kind of know what kind of class of building it is. But you know, just like how I said you don't invest in primary markets, you don't really want to be investing for class a luxury. We kind of target class B and C because that's where we can get a bargain. And we're not competing with unsophisticated investors just looking for a choppy asset. Right.

Jay Conner (14:45): That makes sense. Now you've mentioned a couple of times, you know there's another recession coming and of there always is. Nobody knows when for sure, but I know that you practice what you preach and you invest in what you would call recession proof assets. So other than say apartments or rentals, I have you got any other, of course nothing's guaranteed, but anything, any other what you would refer to as recession? Proof of assets?

Lane Kawaoka (15:15): Yeah, I mean another option are like mobile home parks. You know, I think when you talk about mobile home parks, people think about trailer homes, which that scares a lot of people off and that's a good sign. When people are scared on sophisticated, dumb money doesn't follow. So mobile home parks in a recession, if what you're thinking is people are going to the A class, people are going to move to the Bs, the Bs, they're going to move to the Cs and move into mobile home parks. It's an asset class that they aren't going to build any more of because of late on, no politician wants the responsible for permitting a mobile home park and also mobile home parks. Don't generate revenue for the city. So cities and counties don't want them, so they're, you know, most people in America believe it or not make under $30,000 and they need good housing like mobile home parks. That's one form. I'm, you know, I'm kind of getting into that a little bit. I know apartments the best, but I understand it's smart to invest in different asset classes. It's still sort of impacted by the economy. If you want to really go to the deep end and get totally non for later with the economy, I would say like settlement investing would be another good one. You know, investing off people's life insurances when they die, you get paid. Is that Saint out there? Nothing guaranteed more than death and taxes. Right?

Jay Conner (16:38): Right! Interesting. Interesting. Now I heard you mentioned this a few minutes ago, but I want to drill down on it. You referred to the rent to value ratio and that's you know, a common phrase in the broader commercial. So first of all, explain to everybody what do you mean by rent to value ratio and then what is your rule of thumb on what the ratio needs to be for the deal to make sense?

Lane Kawaoka (17:00): Yeah, so you know, just a quick example, some of the first properties when I was purchasing rental properties was a hundred thousand dollar house that rented for a thousand dollars a month. Threats evaluation. As you take the monthly rent divided by the purchase price, and that's the rent to value ratio, you're looking for something 1% or higher, 2% awesome. But it's sort of hard to find good areas. That's not a war zone, but you know, you're going to have to put it into the spreadsheet and go down. But line by line and every expense and income, but from a quick and dirty way of doing this, that the rent to value ratio above 1% is a good indicator that shows good cash flow, now I invest off cash flow. That may not be your, your listeners personal strategy. But when I'm investing off cash, I look for that 1% indicator. You know, like here in Hawaii, you know, this million dollar house rents for $3,000 a month. That's a 0.3%

Jay Conner (18:04): that works doesn't fit your formula, does it?

Lane Kawaoka (18:06): Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's the California will say no one all, you know, that doesn't work.

Jay Conner (18:12): Right. I got you. And you know I know this about you Lane, and that is, you know, it wasn't too long ago that you retired from your day job as an engineer, but you've been building this empire of real estate assets while doing a day job. How in the world do you do that? How do you find the time to do the, you know, actionable items that you gotta do in order to build this kind of investment company while you're working full time?

Lane Kawaoka (18:45): Yeah, I mean when I was just picking up single family homes my first five, seven years, you know, I use property management companies, you know, they're well worth, but 10% of your income that you bring in. Someone told me that you know, you don't do things unless you can scale it to seven acres and a single family homes are a great way to get started. Especially turnkey rentals. You know, like my first 20 podcasts were all about turnkey rentals, how I started. But as your network grows, you kind of drift into more syndications and private placements like all I have. And yes we use property managers, but there's also asset managers who are another layer of managers who kind of make sure we're doing the right thing with the asset and they are partners aligned with the passive investors. So everybody has skin in the game. And that's a key component that I don't invest without.

Jay Conner (19:40): Well that makes sense. That makes sense. Well, Lane, I know we put together a special URL for my listeners, which is www.jayconner.com/Lane, and tell our audience what is that URL address and why would they want to go there?

Lane Kawaoka (20:01): Yeah, so one thing that I've kind of, pretty much the only product I've made is, you know, your network is your net worth is what they say. And I work with high paid professionals who have money, most of which are accredited and you know, to get access to these deals, you've got to build up your network. Unfortunately, the worst place to go is these pre internet forums and the local real estate club because let's face it, they're just a bunch of broke people, you know, how do you prefer, you know they're not going out to be skiing scrapyard or whatnot. Use my podcast, which attracts passive investors and created this little mastermind.

Jay Conner (20:45): Excellent. So folks go to www.JayConner.com/Lane, and that will get you in contact with Lane and have a strategy session with them and have the opportunity to work together with him on commercial projects and invest if you like, and get connected and truly learn what passive income is about. So Lane, parting comments? Last piece of advice for our listeners and audience.

Lane Kawaoka (21:15): Yeah, I mean if people want to book a call, my email is lane@simplepassivecashflow. Just to make sure you tell me that Jay sent you because, and I think that's a big thing. That's why you and I joined these different masterminds, right? Jay like it's all about like it's a small world out there and you know, you never really want to work with some random person, so at least know they came from you. You know, I know that they're, you know, I can kind of follow the breadcrumbs, what kind of, what they're all about.

Jay Conner (21:45): You know, so our viewers have definitely heard me say this before, but I don't know who came up with the phrase that opposites attract. That's stupid. I mean, I want to hang around people that are like me, right? So yes, birds of the same feather do flock together. So anyway, Lane, I'm sure you'll be hearing from a good number of our, audience members Lane. Thank you so much, man, for taking the time to come here on the show and tell folks what you got going on.

Lane Kawaoka (22:12): Yeah, yeah, we'll catch up in a couple months there in San Diego. Good to see you again.

Jay Conner (22:17): You got it. Lane, thank you so much for coming on and I'll see you soon. Well there you have it folks. Thank you for joining in for another episode. I'm Jay Conner, The Private Money Authority, wishing you all the best and here's to taking your real estate investing business to the next level. We'll see you on the next show. Bye for now.

#Lane Kawaoka #Jay Conner #Private Money #Cash flow #passive rental income

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edorazzi · 5 years

Text

Well, here we are again! Twitter said yes to a review post for a Miraculous magazine that suddenly showed up in my local area. ‘Tis the season after all, and by that I mean someone bought it for me as a joke birthday gift and I was way too happy about that.

I’ve done previous reviews of the Miraculous Christmas calendar, Easter egg set, superhero fashion dolls and action figures, so let’s dive into the unknown world of merchandising yet again!

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4 FREE GIFTS! PACKED WITH ACTIVITIES! MEET THE KWAMIS! PRANKS & LOLS! CUT-OUT MEMES! FANGIRL ALERT! NAIL ART! 100% OFFICIAL! I’m overwhelmed! It feels like I’m having a seizure just from the packaging!!!

I should preface this by saying I haven’t bought a magazine like this in years. Possibly ever. I read things like the Beano, Animals & You and the odd Disney Princess zine when I was a kid but I have no idea what to expect from a free-gift-packed kiddie magazine in 2019. If the outside is anything to go by we’re in for a wild ride.

I’m noticing that it says “Miraculous #20″ on the back. Does this mean I’ve missed 19 previous issues? I’m genuinely a little upset by that. My local area is a complete dry zone for Miraculous so I haven’t had the chance to pick these up.

First step: let’s separate everything out and get a look at these freeeee giftssss. Except they aren’t free, because this magazine was like £3.99. This does seem to be the current trend - it’s kinda rare to see any kids’ zines without the excess packaging crammed with ‘free’ stuff. Is it really too expensive to just produce the magazine? Probably, in this economy.

Chat Noir is revealed on the cover! He was on the back of the plastic jacket, but it’s still nice to see the kids as a front-cover duo. Apparently we’re going to learn to draw Pollen, too, which sounds fun. I’m actually liking the look of the gifts as well, but we’ll get into those in a minute.

This hairbrush............. is adorable. Oh my god. It’s pretty cheap and flimsy but it functions the way it’s supposed to, and the Ladybug design has been taken into account in a better way than “it’s red/black, that counts” (lest we forget the UTTER BULLSHIT of the Christmas calendar, and YES I’m still mad about that). I don’t know how well I expect the outer sticker to last, but if it can take a bit of wear and tear this would be an adorable little travel brush. Nicely done, lads!

These nail stickers? Also adorable. They remind me of the kiddie makeup sets I had when I was little, back in the early 00s when plastic stick-on nails and decals were all the rage. Are they still a thing? That’s nice to know.

There are 13 designs (that I can count) - a Queen Bee mask, Chat Noir pawprint cake, macaron, cupcake, heart-print cookie, Ladybug stud, flower, lightning bolt, love heart, Marinette heart, bee, fox tail and star. The majority are directly related to the show and that makes them feel special. No Carapace though? :(

I’ve put a little Marinette heart on my furthest finger. At the time of typing this up (about a day later) it’s still firmly in place. I haven’t really knocked it around, granted, but it’s not flimsy enough to fall off after five minutes either. It’s also really cute to look at. Guess I’m still a decal-loving 2004 girl at heart......

These stickers though!!! Wow! They’re those holographic and slightly-puffy kind and they feel like pretty good quality, and the designs are so cute! I can’t fault these, they’re absolutely adorable. I immediately want to stick them everywhere.

So I’ve stuck them everywhere. I’m especially proud of the light switch pun. My room looks GREAT.

I saved these “mystery stickers” for last because I’m weak for the thrill of mystery bags, and there wasn’t anything on the packaging to indicate what kind of designs to expect. And OH!!!! OH, IT’S MY BOY!!!! Look at him!!!!

I made jokes with the Christmas calendar about all the Chat Noir items being stolen ahead of time, but that’s definitely NOT the case with this magazine. I have been SPOILED with the presence of my cat son.

These stickers are similar to the sticker sheet (and the Chillin’ Out design is reprinted), but they’re puffier and non-holographic. I’m deeply allured by the “decorate your phone or tablet” suggestion on the packet, but I’m going to see how the previous stickers withstand the wear-and-tear of my laptop lid before adding any more. If I damage these beautiful Adrien stickers I’ll be devastated.

Those are our free gifts! They’re actually very fun and cute, I’m really happy with them! I guess now it’s time to get into the magazine itself...........

I genuinely almost forgot the magazine was the main part of this package. I figured I was done, but we’ve barely even started! Here’s a splash page of the kwami. Kwami with a capital K? Kwamis? I still feel like it should be singular-lower-case-k-kwami. I’ve never been happy about this “miraculouses” business either.

But is that--

It IS!!!! It’s Nino!!!

I guess this is the new flavour of Miraculous tie-ins. Now they’ve broadened out to a full team we’re seeing a lot more of Adrien alongside the girls, and Nino is the elusive hero who shows up once in a blue moon. At least this time his name isn’t in the title of the gotdam show.......

Anyway, I can see I’m supposed to draw my “fave Kwami”. Better get to it.

Felix just wants a break. Just one break. But not in this magazine.

Speaking of seeing more of Adrien (and, tragically, less of Nino), this is the kind of splash page I want to see! Both kids are here! The banner themed with Marinette’s signature flowers is a nice touch too; that’s associated with her arts ‘n’ crafts in the show already and it makes sense to apply it to the creative portion of this magazine too.

I LOVE the promotion of Chat Noir nails as something the little girls buying this magazine will definitely want to try. I’d expect them to do Marinette vs Ladybug nails, but instead we get a boyish option! Hell yeah!

I’m a little confused by the Queen Bee masks apparently going on the Chat Noir nails though. I guess they’re friends? Is this secret AdriChlo confirmation? Watch out, Marinette, Kagami’s not the one to be worried about.

SURE WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE SOME TURTLE STICKERS FOR AN ALL-BOYS THEME BUT I GUESS NOT HUH

Next up is a short merch catalogue (why would you put the big bold arrow pointing right to the underoos.....). Would those Chat Noir socks come in my size? Asking for me.

Then there’s......... this page. FANGIRL ALERT. God. It’s like the Ladyblog, if only the Ladyblog ever gave a heck about reporting what Chat Noir’s up to.

THE SPELL WAS BROKEN AND THE FANDOM IMPLODED WITH JOY.

I really have to wonder what age range this is meant for. Do kids know what a “fandom” is? Do little girls consider themselves “fangirls”? I guess most kids have enough internet access to figure it out these days (all the hashtags and LOLs and memes speak volumes), but I can’t imagine being young enough to fit the target range of this magazine while also knowing these terms. I dunno.

(Also, the definition of ‘implosion’ is ‘an instance of something collapsing violently inwards’, so I’m not sure that’s the word they’re looking for. Unless the return to the status quo in Dark Cupid and the continuing stagnation of the love square was enough to make people quit in frustration? Probably.)

I’m filling it in, of course. Because I must.

I gave up on the pre-approved ratings system pretty much right away, but I think this is an accurate rating of my LadyNoir opinions.

I might be kinda cynical about it here, but I am actually pretty fond of how this magazine sells Ladybug and Chat Noir as a couple. The show’s portraying it as very onesided lately, with Chat pining over Ladybug who has absolutely no interest in him (Glaciator was a TERRIBLE episode and I’m still hurting from it), but reading this zine I’d guess they were already dating. It’s cheesy, but in a nice way.

I have to laugh at “the most amazing thing about this super duo is that they always look out for and protect each other” though. Chat’s usually pretty focused on LB, sure, but there are endless instances of LB using Chat as cannon fodder and just generally abandoning him to get mauled by akuma while she carries out her personal private plan to save the day. Maybe we’re just focusing on the better-written episodes, huh?

Moving ahead. I’ve been dreading this page since reading “Plaggs Pranks & LOLs” on the back of the packaging. I feel hatred in my very bones just looking at it.

I like that there’s ONE instance of the term “ladybird” in the joke column. This is a UK-based magazine and that IS the word we tend to use over here - “ladybug” is an Americanism - but it’s like they’re worried kids could have got to the middle of this magazine about a superhero named Ladybug and then not understand the bug jokes. Maybe whoever was writing this page slipped up?

OH NOOOOO. MARINETTE, NOOOOOOOOOO.

THIS IS WHY FELIX GOT RID OF YOU, PLAGG. THESE ARE ADRIEN’S PROBLEMS NOW.

(mmm whatcha saaaaay)

I mean........... YEAH, I guess, but we absolutely did see Plagg destroy Felix with an entire shelf of heavy books. I guess he’s nicer with Adrien. It’s all fun and games until someone has a nervous breakdown in the library.

I do love the concept of Tikki getting glitter-bombed by Plagg through the mail. She just curiously opens up the little letter which got slipped into Marinette’s purse, and-- WOOSH. One entire wall of Mari’s room is glittery except for a little Tikki-shaped silhouette.

Next up is a two-page comic which is absolutely adorable! Look at those little chibis! The warm and soft colour palette! This is nicer than most of the official Miraculous comic book art I’ve seen, I hope they keep giving this artist work.

Nino’s here too (and he looks great!), and I like the touch of Marinette and Adrien playing as each other’s superhero characters. Adrien even wins the match, though I guess there’s something to be said about Ladybug beating Chat Noir (again)......

It does raise the question yet again of where this tie-in merchandise is coming from! They’ve had action figures, a movie, music video features, now an arcade game... Who’s getting the royalties here? Who’s profiting? Is this how Fu can afford to buy all those rare ingredients for the magic potions?

Over the page we have an activity to Design your Secret Lair! Right away I love the Marinette theme of the page, the soft pink and flowers, and the drawing space looking like a page in a binder with marker tabs and everything.

I have to design my secret lair, of course:

What do you think? I’m very creative. I’ll need an adult to send in the drawing of my hideout but I think I’ve really got a shot at those unicorn headphones.

Now we’re on to puzzles and character pages. I don’t know what ol’ Gabe is doing trying to meet a 13 year old girl in the dead of night without telling anyone, you’d think if he’s got that much free time on his hands he could be spending it with his son.

I don’t know how those points in Ladybug’s power profile are awarded or what they mean, but you can tell this is a fan magazine. Official sources would have put her at a 10.

Standard House of Villains page! Most of these were good episodes but I’m deeply offended Riposte isn’t on here. Maybe her motives weren’t dramatic and cartoonish enough to be up in the ranks with Glaciator and Gorizilla?

“Cat Noir’s dad is also the evil Hawk Moth”, huh? I mean that’s not WRONG, but is it really something to put in his power profile when Adrien doesn’t even know yet??? Feels like we’re kinda jumping the gun on the poor boy. What if he picks up this magazine?

Apparently he’s one point weaker than Ladybug (seriously???), two points faster, equally as agile, one point less skilled and two points less cool. Despite all those lesses he still comes out at an equal 9, which is a relief! These kids are a team, putting either of them below the other would have been a big no.

I did the colouring page too, naturally. Je suis un artiste.

Now we’ve got a page fresh from the Ladyblog, a Miraculous quiz! Not a lot of excitement, but it’s nice to see Alya getting her own section.

I like that the qualifications of “you could be Ladybug herself!” are knowing what city Marinette lives in and what school she goes to. Well done, Mari! You’re doing your best!!!

TEACHER I AM SO HUNGRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I gotta say, I’m not so sure about decorating donuts with fondant. I’ve never tried it so I could be wrong, but it feels like rolled icing instead of frosting(?) would be too heavy for an entire donut. The texture is totally different.

I mean I guess if you’re going to load your kids up on sugar you might as well go all the way. They’re going to look like they’ve eaten something horrible with all that black fondant, but they’ll have fun. Adrien would love these.

WHERE’S NINO. THIS IS JUST UNFAIR. You’ll have four out of five heroes, then a double of Marinette and Tikki? Maybe this just goes to show how little memorable dialogue Carapace has.

Though if “Spots On!” is Marinette’s dialogue and not Ladybug’s, why are the other transformation phrases attributed to Rena Rouge and Queen Bee instead of Alya and Chloé? Surely they could have picked something better for Marinette to justify having her on this list twice instead of Nino.

The next page brings us one of those flowchart quizzes! And ouch, yet again the absence of the other heroes is obvious. I can understand not including Chloé here since she’s technically not a “friendly” character yet, but no Nino? Alya and Marinette are close friends, but Adrien doesn’t really hang out with them without Nino around. Having the three of them together just seems strange.

I do like the little fashion page! They’re all cute and affordable and easy to find on the high street here. I’d love to see how other issues of this magazine are structured; is there a different fashion spot every time? Styles to channel each individual hero would be adorable.

Moving on to a tutorial for a Ladybug notebook! I would have made this, but I didn’t have the time nor a notebook to stick it to.

Between this and the donuts, it seems weird that these designs are based on, like... an actual beetle, eyes and antennae and all. Shouldn’t it be Ladybug’s symbol? These come across more like “fun animals” arts ‘n’ crafts instead of themed after Miraculous specifically. I think if I made this (or decorated the donuts) I’d miss out the head and match the spot pattern to Ladybug’s symbol.

The hidden message design is adorable though. I can see this being a craft kids are super proud of.

Another activity page! I didn’t have a go at these but they’re pretty standard. It’s cute that the coded message designs are the same as the stickers and nail decals!

Also, apparently Ladybug’s ‘secret’ is “LB mask + heart + CN mask”, which was (somehow) stolen by Volpina. Is that the secret Hawk Moth was talking about earlier in the magazine? Is he blackmailing Ladybug with revealing she has a crush on Chat Noir? How did Volpina ‘steal’ this secret? Is LadyNoir finally reciprocated???? THIS IS A WHOLE EPISODE IN ITSELF, I NEED ANSWERS--

Next page we have an ad for another girly magazine (Quizzes! LOLs! Celebs! Cringes! Puzzles!). I think I’ll pass, no matter how appealing that giant microphone pen is.

And a “Miraculous Identity” quiz! Tikki’s apparently super fickle with her wielders, three seasons of relentlessly praising Marinette and now she’s telling us we’re the Chosen Ones. You can’t fool me with those big ol’ eyes.

My inner superhero is Marvellous Fox, by the way. Though yet again I’m noticing we don’t have turtle options...................

And on the back cover... the memes. Oh, sweet lord, the memes. They’re hashtag-SoRelatable! And I can cut them out to keep! Oh boy!!!

Is this what kids do when they have limited internet access? Cut fresh memes out of magazines and carry them around? I need to know.

That’s a very sinister Ladybug at the bottom of the page though. What’s-- What’s she going to do to me if I don’t cut out and keep these memes. Ladybug what are you going to do if I d--

Well that brings us to the end of the magazine! And yet again I’m surprised by how much time it takes to just put a bunch of photos together and write about them.

This is a neat little magazine all in all! The ‘free gifts’ are pretty nice, there’s a fair amount of content and the whole thing is pretty cute for young fans of the show. I could see myself buying this again - if it ever shows up on shelves, Miraculous is so scarce around here that I fully expect it to disappear again after this one issue - just for the free junk, but it would be interesting to see how they’d structure different issues too!

I notice we never did get that promised tutorial on how to draw Pollen; the one advertised on the cover. Was the “draw your favourite Kwami” activity supposed to cover that? I’m not sure that really counts.

If you got this far, thanks for joining me on this Miraculous journey! We’ll meet again whenever I get another piece of weird ML merch to cover. Bien joué!

#miraculous ladybug #josie talks about things #josie's art #i really should get a review tag #ANYWAY there's a bit more art in this which isn't just the header image so give it a look!#and felix features a couple of times because WHY would he not on edorazzi dot com

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bilgisticallykosher · 5 years

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Sanders Asides: Are There Healthy Distractions? reaction

Pre-anything: I'm not expecting to love this one as much as the last episode. Nothing terrible, but the disgusting trash man intro is just a hard thing to beat.

I’m expecting this to be SvS part 2. I'm expecting some sort of reaction and conclusion to Virgil's reveal at the end of DWIT. I'm therefore looking for any sign of confidence from Virgil immediately pointing to him being Deceit. I think it's likely not going to be addressed until late in the episode. Virgil angst until he comes back. Will Deceit be wearing Virgil's current hoodie? People have theorized that since he took notes on Roman's advice, it's possible for him to be better at pretending to be someone else. Especially someone who pops in, as opposed to rising up.

I'm also anticipating Thomas to come up with a different solution to the callback/wedding thing. Namely, Logan asking him if he'd just speak to Lee and Mary Lee, and ask to celebrate another time, more privately, and if he could go to the callback. Like, there's definitely a reason Deceit threw Logan in the back where he thought he'd have less influence.

I'm also waiting on Roman angst. We needed to meet another character (there's no way it wasn't Remus) before entering Roman's room.

OH GOSH they're doing animation, right? Or, another medium? That's gotta be for Roman's room! I was thinking maybe stop-motion or fluid animation. I'd also LIKE Deceit's name reveal, but I'm not sure we'll get that.

Post-title screen. I thought this was an old TS & Friends I'd missed. I, didn't love Frozen. This is an understatement. Okay. Still really like the name Sanders Asides, it's funny. That's. Hm. Well, it looks like Virgil. In a different outfit? Intriguing. So, distractions, like distracting yourself from wedding/callback? Also, "Are there healthy distractions?" Almost like "Can lying be good?" (At least, I have misremembered the title as "Can distractions be good?" at least five times already.)

Okay I'm also focusing too much on my theory and supporting it. I know Frozen has been used as a metaphor for Depression and/or other mental illnesses, so, maybe that's why Virgil's the focus in the title screen?

WATCHING! Y'know, despite the Jewish thing, I've only ever seen two episodes of The Goldbergs, didn't really get into- YES HELLO THOMAS. What. Is this an actual ad? Why does he sound like a pirate? HA! He acknowledged it. "What the hell is that accent?" Idk, a little Remus, a little midwest?

Okay, that was the opening? Wondering if the red jacket plays any special significance, or they just saw it and bought it.

I like the effects of the A. Virgil is. There already. Hnnnnnm. I dunno, man. This is supposed to be part of the chronological series, right? Oh it's a skeleton onesie! Canon onesie for Virgil!

WOAH EVERYONE! Ooh, Roman's Beast? I wonder if that'd change depending on what show either actual, or character, Thomas is in. They're all there! Different order, too!

OH MY GOSH is this taking place twenty minutes after DWIT? IS THIS DECEIT??? I failed at not pushing my theory, whoops. I'm still suspicious. (Roman's floppy horns.)

Literally nobody believes that you didn't put all Frozen answers in, Ro. "I don't wear those anymore, they're too childish." Still waiting on Logan angst, too… probably after Roman.

"Thomas is in a bad place" Virgil looks uncomfortable, but he also didn't seem so offended when Roman pulled his "twenty minutes ago" line. Well, it's definitely Logan, "Thomas is at home." Haha. Also, Roman's hood falling down was hilarious??

Okay, screw it, I'm pushing this. Virgil did learn last episode that repressing problems isn't the way to deal with them. But I feel like Deceit would also keep pressing for them to acknowledge why he feels bad? Also, Thomas's face, wow, discomfort.

I don't get the "Thomas in the movie" joke, it's a snowflake? "Or neutral." Burn! "This weird ice cutting song." Man, where's the Critic? "Externalization" he had a little smile, guys.

Some Logan vs. Patton tension AND some Logan vs. Roman tension. "Fear will be your enemy." Virgil looked at, Thomas, I think? Damn guys, this might actually be Virgil.

Okay I watched this four times, Virgil and Logan do not shout Joan. And Thomas does it sadly afterwards. "Passage of time," This might actually be Virgil!

I just choked! Oh my gosh, you guys, he is naked my throat hurts from not screaming. I'm having trouble getting over this. This cannot be a shock to anyone, but I want to hear him say "I sleep in the buff" several thousand more times.

"Did I screw everything up" oooh, I was wrong, it's Virgil, but who cares, buff. Thomas is looking at his phone, is it not too late for callback?

WOAH going right for Patton's throat! Ahaha, the tallies were hysterical.

"Why have a ballroom with no balls?" "*snrk*" Don't lie, Thomas, that's hysterical.

Patton's sadness and "without trust issues" hmmm. Shut out [her] whole life, is this supposed to be a comparison to anyone? Logan's "hey, yeah!" Is oddly hilarious.

Is the "he" that Virgil's talking about the director? "Well she really shouldn't be letting go of anymore of her clothing." Oh my gosh.

Oh, today is April 13th! The wedding is at night, so is he already missing the callback? ICE TOILET! Remus, my god. Also, just noting, minus hair and makeup, this is some easy Remus-ing for the crew. They didn't have to deal with the whole outfit.

Good point, Logan! This is not how Roman shows affection! Especially towards Disney! You guys, what if Roman is Deceit?... No, he hasn't been pushing the callback enough. But like. Beast/Prince symbolism? Hm. I'm watching him.

Wait, what the hell party? I, I'm confused, wait he's telling Thomas's friends? That doesn't sound like he's going to the wedding? Who is "he"? If he were missing the wedding, it'd be him talking about Lee and Mary Lee.

Unless he sent someone else to the wedding in his stead? So he could go to the callback? Did he send Deceit? That's. Unlikely. But misrepresenting his side? Idk idk.

"If he lied on purpose." MUSIC! Wait what's this about unsympathetic judgemental jerk? Who are they talking about??? This had better be revealed at the end. I went back, judgemental jerk used twice, and combative compatriot sounds like Deceit, what other "he" is there, but the Sides can't be seen by others, so????????

The music is still going. Rico? Oh, is that the answer? So is this unrelated to the wedding/callback? Okay, party isn't wedding. That was also an incredible act of breath control from Thomas. Standing ovation, dude.

Oooh, the grounding thing! Ice machine! Ice machine is one of my favorite Shorts characters, guys, I love him, he a loud boy. "Deodorant" *excited noise*... oh, no that's fine.

But I mean. Couldn't he do something now? Call or text an apology? Logan "have I mentioned that you called me cool yet" Sanders. Long ice powers list.

I just realized that the voting hat was Deceit's! I- oh, he's just literally off-screen. I'm. Fairly certain that I was wrong now, yes. Virgil hissy. Ha, they didn't want to do Deceit's makeup. Understandable. Oh, is this the animation thing?

"Love is an open wound" ooooh, nice. That was actually a cool re-write. In the buff. Is Thomas legit writing fanfiction now?

I do not like the holiday season, I'm Scrooge. I do love Joan, though! DARK SIDE SWEATERS I would legitimately never wear them. Ever. Because X-mas. But eyeballs and demons.

Logan angst is still incoming.

So, it was tied to the main narrative, but… Virgil wasn't addressed? So, is it just loosely tied, but not necessarily sequentially? It's real cute seeing them all hanging out together like on everyone's fanfics, and that had to be crazy to edit. And hey, the Frozen stuff was better with commentary. But I'm still waiting on SvS part two, I think. And post-DWIT "fallout," but I did really enjoy all of them together being (relatively) cute.

Sorry for being really focused on one theory. And, really, it's not like I'm disappointed with the episode. In and of itself, I liked it. It's just that I was expecting a direct continuation of the last two episodes, which this was not. And that's fine! I just, I hope we get that continuation. Like Thomas said, narrative has been building up for certain things, and they've been waiting on other aspects for a long time, so I'm sure they're even more excited to show them to us as we are to watch them. And have I mentioned editing? Must have been some job to do all that. Really great.

#new video reaction #character!thomas #sanders sides #ts spoilers #patton sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders

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asiandramastoke · 5 years

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Drama Rating: 9/10

Sung Doek Mi lives a double life as a successful art gallery curator and a full time fan girl who’s popularly known online as Shi An is my Life. Though she’s famous in her online name, she does her fan-girling discreetly by covering her face while attending fan meets and concerts. In the midst of her fan-girling business, she accidentally meets an important person she’s about to encounter in her real life… Ryan Gold. A renowned artist from New York who was recruited to become the new Director of Cheum Gallery which Deok Mi works as a curator. As both of them start working together, both clashed with their own opinions and judgement but as time went on things goes smoothly between them and they open up to each other little by little. Eventually they find themselves in the middle of a romantic endeavor. As they get closer to each other, their past is also slowly unraveled one by one.

This drama definitely nailed how fan-girling occurs, not only in Korea but in the whole world. A lot of people are wondering what runs through a fan’s head and this drama totally explains it. Though the fan-girling story line was only showed during the first few episodes and was merely kept in the background halfway through to give way to the actual conflict of the drama, it was an enlightening watch. It would show how much money, time, effort and dedication a fan does for their idols. I may not be a full time fan of a specific idol or actor, but I had my fair share of being a KDRAMA fan altogether… so yeah. Definitely a big respect to these type of people specially when they restrict themselves to the “Look only and No touching” policy when it comes to fan-girling. Come to think of it, a lot of self-restraint has to be done when a fan-girl’s idol is right in front of them and they just want to touch that person but because of the said policy, they keep their hands to themselves and let that person pass by in peace. That’s got to be a looooooooot of will power.

Now back to my actual review.

I was thinking of the rating for this drama and ended up 1 point short. The reason for this is that the drama was far from perfect. The first few episodes somewhat gave me a bland feeling, not because the focus was about fan-girling but it simply failed to make me feel excited. Up until episode 5 came out and followed up by episode 6, that’s when things simply made me anticipate the next episode. As to why I gave it a 9 instead of a 7, is because I give props of 2 points for the male lead. This is the first drama I’ve ever seen that had a perfect boyfriend-material-kind-of-leading-man. Therefore the name Ryan Gold is going to stick in my KDrama history, a name that has yet to be surpassed by someone who’s more than this guy. Well, a drama character of course, since a real life Ryan Gold is probably next to non-existent. I loved the drama dearly because of his character. He’s like a password because he’s the case sensitive type – he’s the kind of guy who would be thinking of other’s feelings and set aside his own. He’s very understanding beyond belief and he’s the type of guy who would swoon any woman off her feet. In short, he’s too good to be true. Setting those aside, he does have his minor issues which I won’t dwell on since it’s going to be a spoiler but it’s what makes him an over all halfway realistic guy. Then there’s Deok Mi, a woman who has her own world and sometimes think that her idol is the center of everything. However… when she’s around Ryan Gold, she becomes an entirely different being. I would want to talk more of her character but I feel that it’s also supposed to be in a spoiler tag, so I’ll probably just simply leave it at that. What I’d like to emphasize on though are the actors who portrayed both characters. Park Min Young as Sung Deok Mi was such an adorable actress and I couldn’t imagine having someone else play her part. She had perfect on screen chemistry with Kim Jae Wook, the guy who portrayed Ryan Gold. I usually refrain from watching behind the scenes because I hate comparing real life to drama world but here, I couldn’t help it. I wanted to know how their off screen chemistry was and when I watched it, they were both adorable and even did so much ad-lib for the drama. No wonder that their onscreen performance was so appealing, their actual selves were in sync with each other that acting along side each other was easy as pie. Not only that, everyone on set seems to have a great filming atmosphere that things were able to run accordingly. Even the director seemed to be happy in the midst of filming.

As for the side characters, I love each and everyone of them. Even the previous chairman of Cheum Gallery Mrs. Eom who’s supposed to be an antagonist in this drama. I love how she’s always over the top with the way she speaks and dress but in the inside she’s simply a mom who cares so much for her daughter. There were two characters though whom I initially disliked but learned to be amicable with in the long run. Nam Eun Gi and Artist Choi Da In were given the role of being such pricks. They’re the type of character that was supposed to love the main ones unconditionally but instead make their lives more complicated. But despite their meddling ways, I’m glad they weren’t much of a hurdle for the main couple. There’s also the intern named Cindy, the sessaeng fan who’s the daughter of a chaebol namely Mrs. Eom. Despite her initial role of being an obsessive fan, I like the the fact that she had so much character growth thanks to Deok Mi and her family. I especially like her interaction with Eun Gi and a hint of something else at the end of the show. Then there’s Deok Mi’s ever faithful best friend. Lee Seon Joo a cafe owner with a rich father and was previously an avid fan girl just likeDeok Mi but due to an early marriage because she got pregnant to a very adorable child, she became a mom and a cafe owner instead. Gaaaaaaaaad I love this woman and how she paved the way into her best friend’s love life. She’s not meddlesome but she definitely gives her all out support for her best friend and try as she can, fan-girls with Deok Mi at the sidelines. I always look forward to their interaction together, they always look like they’re having fun even though they’re dissing some boys in the process. Then there’s Shi An, the KPop Idol who caught Deok Mi’s heart. There’s not much screen time from this cutie and he still have room to improve his acting but he did nail being an idol in this drama. His interaction with Deok Mi and the rest of his fans did look genuine. Lastly, there’s Deok Mi’s parents. They may seem oddballs but both have big hearts and I can’t say anything more hence the spoilers. What I’d like to mention is how Kim Mi Kyung’s interaction with Park Min Young in the drama seemed real and palpable as if they have bonded together as a mother and daughter.

Overall it was a great show. It made me cry a lot by the end of the drama when the mysterious hints were finally revealed. There was an unexpected twist in the story and that totally set my emotions into berserk tears thanks to my hormones due to being pregnant, I just couldn’t contain myself to feel all the feels on behalf of Ryan Gold and Deok Mi. The OST is love love love and I would definitely recommend this drama to all those who are looking for a lot of FLUFF like literally rom-com-feeling-kind-of-fluff-with-lots-of-kissy-touchy-feels.

Her Private Life (Korean Drama 2019) Drama Rating: 9/10 Sung Doek Mi lives a double life as a successful art gallery curator and a full time fan girl who's popularly known online as Shi An is my Life.

#그녀의 사생활 #Geunyeoui Sasaenghwal #Her Personal Life #Her Private Life #Kim Jae Wook #Korean Drama #Park Min Young #Year 2019

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rxnningfreetoday-a · 5 years

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A Series of Nice Things bc We Deserve Them

Set in Eliot's 'I got drunk married to a sports superstar wat do' verse, co-starring aftg's Kevin Day but honestly if you’re just looking for some Nice Eliot & Quentin content after that dumpster fire of a finale, i welcome you with open arms;; verse tag is here, the tl;dr is el accidentally marries a Very Famous Sports Guy while drunk in vegas and shenanigans ensue and they fall in love for real. dedicated ofc to @im-possiblelimits ♥

The 'what am I fucking doing for the rest of my life if magic never comes back' fear comes creeping back on him.

He and Kevin have multiple important conversations.

Kevin Day gives the best fucking pep talks ever. Eliot walks away from every hard conversation with him wondering how he got so lucky.

Eliot becomes a fashion designer

And hes fahcking BALLER at it !!!!!!!

He collaborates with Margo for a few collections; they become instant classics.

Margo models in like every show.

Eliot watches in Absolute pride.

Frankly???? El designs all his dresses for her specifically.

Routinely he either flies Quentin and Margo out to Chicago or goes to New York and crashes on Margo's couch.

Obviously Margo and Q stay in The Condo, in Eliot's old room which still houses a good portion of his stuff.

Once he starts raking in that Goöd designer cash, he gets them both stupid expensive gifts just cause.

"Eliot this bikini top is made from Swarovski fucking crystal"

"Eliot I CAN'T accept this case of Moët"

........"please just let me love you :( "

Of fuckin COURSE he gets box seats to a T Swift concert & takes Q along.

"How did you...?" "I'm making her a dress. Oh yeah, we're meeting tomorrow to consult and you're coming with." " .O."

This hurts extra good and cozy bc when Eliot moves from NY he makes Q promise him to always text him a singular emoji if he feels Bad(TM).

Eliot tells him that he doesn't care what time it is or what he has going on or even how bad Q feels, he'll drop just about anything.

El always texts back asking if hes up for a phone call. Usually he is; cue Eliot gently asking about what he ate last, how much he's slept, if he's taken his meds.

One time Q's completely despondent and Eliot starts racking his brain on what the next question should be when it just.......comes out of his mouth;;

I stay out too late. Got nothing in my brain. That's what people say...

"...I had no idea you knew that song."

Kevin totally hears him but thinks better of ever saying anything about it.

Margo however razzes the hell out of him (only lovingly)

Suddenly its Eliot taking Kevin to events instead of vice versa and everyone loves him

Eliot does some of his best sketch work at Kevin's practices.

Just practices tho, games are too high stakes and theres too many people around.

He always makes jokes at the end of the season about it being the end of the season for him too bc of that.

Eliot does try very very hard to balance attending exy games & practices and his own shit.

He's way more willing to go to a game than go to an event alone; he'd so much rather go with Kevin especially as he cuts his drinking back to almost nothing.

The exceptions tend to be when Margo (and Q) are in town. He's been known to bring them both.

Since its years later and his romantic feelings for Q are p much buried he gets a special kind of resentful about the fact that he can't just take Q to an event without it being An Issue(TM).

Even when it's the 3 of them, rumors fly. Eliot's extra conscious of his body language at that point and hates that he has to be.

He gets completely mortified one day bc of a hickey-slip that the press asks Kevin about.

"We think Q left it, what do you have to say?"

Kevin, raising his eyebrows: "No that was definitely me...."

Eliot, putting his head in his hands: "Ohhhhh my god....." -Can we get back to politics (please?)-

Q thinks the rumors are kind of funny He gets asked about it and hes just like "you've SEEN Kevin, right? Like......there's no competing with that, El's a lucky guy."

Really who doesn't think Kevin's hot?????? ofc Q’s not immune

Idk how but through sheer force of will Q and Kevin become friends

(or at least friendly-ish, which for Kevin? Fucking huge.)

Like obviously its nowhere near the level of friendship between Eliot and Q but Somethin noice happens there however many years later.

Q goes thru a bad breakup sometime down the line. Eliot asks Kevin if it's okay to fly him in.

Kevin patiently tells him that he doesn't need to ask that anymore.

Eliot's floored bc hes never actually been with a guy who was so secure????? It gives him a lot of feelings about being trusted and loved and accepted for who he is and how he expresses his affection.

Idk all I can think of is it being like Friday night and the 3 of them are on the couch together.

Q's sad and sleepy, his head on Eliot's lap, barely registering the Buffy episode El put on. Eliot's leaning against Kevin's shoulder, one hand holding his and the other absently playing with Q's hair, snarking lovingly every few minutes about the campiness.

Q apologizes to Kevin privately later on because oh god his head was just in his husband's lap and that's Super Weird, sorry....

That's probably about the time Kevin decides earnestly that Q's alright.

Idk how but SOMEHOW Eliot's left with a toddler for a minute and we all cry together in this chili's

I decided its Q's, let Q be a dad tbh. He's together with Eliot's makeup artist who was a single father before Q came into their lives.

Anyway Eliot’s sketching--like always. He hands over his notebook for color palette planning and a few colored pencils. "You wanna color with me?"

Everything's fine until bab starts Screamin.

(Gentle voice) "What's wrong?" [Screaming] "You hungry?" [No.] "Are you thirsty?" [No] "Are you tired?" [Soft affirmative noises] "Let's take a little nap then."

Eliot just picks bab up with so much care and love in his eyes, holding them gently and off on a mission to find either a guardian or a soft reclining chair.

Kevin witnesses all of this and is probably pretty sure he's never seen anything more wholesome in his damn life.

Kevin's most likely the one who suggests kids (I'm guessing he's retired)

Eliot probably would have but he just doesn't even think about it?? And then Kevin says in so many words that he'd be a good father and Eliot just about loses it

I can't decide if their kid's definitely a jock or definitely not a jock. Maybe they're a dancer?

Regardless, they're both endlessly supportive

Eliot of fucking Course joins the PTA.

His gym buddies flip their collective shits.

He's really out here advocating for good sex ed & preserving arts in schools bc hes a fuckin hero

Also family vacations to Everywhere but especially beachy places!!

#the magicians #eliot waugh #quentin coldwater #special focus on q because honestly that boy needs nice things and i'd give him all of them if i could #eliot verse || you and me could write a bad romance #eliot & kevin || light will fade & i will stay here with you #eliot said fuck canon so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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hopevalley · 5 years

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WCTH Write-Ups: 1.5, “The Dance”

Good morning, and welcome to another episode write-up! Two in a row! I feel like I’m on a roll, here!

In the last episode, we saw answers to a lot of questions, mostly in regards to the church fire. Cat was innocent, the fire was an accident, and Mr. Spurlock framed Cat out of bitter spite because she told him she wasn’t interested in him.

In this episode, the town finally gets some new miners!

12 of them, to be exact. This doesn’t even come close to replacing the 47 who died, but I guess it’s a start? Anyway, they’re not too happy about walking into the saloon only to find it’s inhabited by a whole classroom.

“We’ve spent six days crossing this cursed country. We came a long way to work in this mine. Least we can get is a drink.” Six days? That’s it? I mean, that’s nothing compared to how most of these people got out here. They were probably able to take a train and then get wagons instead of having to cross it all by horse, so... I don’t know. Six days is nothing. Try six months of travel and then I’d feel like you deserved a drink.

“Company’s just hiring single men.” Gee I wonder why. Maybe that has something to do with it being cheaper and easier, and they can house ‘em in the saloon rooms in smallish groups. I mean, there can only be so many rooms up there... Maybe 3? That puts four men to a room up there...

Anyway, I love Emily Dickinson so much, and for an episode to start with one of her poems is lovely. Billy Hamilton might be scummy, but Andrew Walker, his actor, does a beautiful delivery of the first stanza.

“Hope” is the thing with feathers - That perches in the soul - And sings the tune without the words - And never stops - at all -

First of all, this poem is a delightful addition to the series, but I don’t think that its theme should be overlooked. This is a poem about hope, but the series itself isn’t just about the general concept of hope, it’s about...the kind of hope that you feel through the worst times in your life, that protects you, that gets you through the storm; it’s about...hope everlasting. So it’s really fitting that it’s here, but I think with all of the other things that go on, it’s easily passed over.

Also, Billy is a smoooooth criminal... Calling her professor... That’d make me feel special, too. ;)

Anyway, Abigail returns for this episode, and we see a bunch of town women coming together to unravel sweaters to repurpose for baby blankets and clothes for Carla, a very pregnant lady.

Also present are Florence, Elizabeth, Cat, Mary, and someone I don’t know.

“My husband wasn’t a chivalrous man, but he provided just fine for Caleb and me.”

I just want to say that I enjoy Mary’s character a lot. We don’t really see anyone else like her for the rest of the series, so it’s sad for me that after her little plotline wrapped up, she left the series.

Most of these women are able to admit to their husbands’ faults in, perhaps, more private company, but I think Mary’s admission is realistic and to-the-point. Her husband wasn’t much of a romantic, or maybe even a good lover, but he did all right as a provider and that was good enough. These days we might find it really sad to think about—I know I do—but in 1910 things would have been a lot different for these women. A reasonably good provider was about as good as it got, sometimes.

And Abigail echoes Mary’s point:

“You’re right, Mary. We all know how hard it is to find a good man.”

And then Carla: “Or a good father for our children.”

That they have to sometimes choose whether he’s a good husband, good lover, good provider, or good father is just awful. But that’s that on that, I guess. 1910, everybody!

Carla’s definitely at that late part of pregnancy where everything hurts and nothing is comfortable and sleeping is basically impossible. Doubly so for her because she has a little boy to take care of already, so it’s not as if she can take a nap whenever the mood strikes!

“Mounties and marriage: two subjects that don’t go together. At the academy they told us, if the Mounties wanted you to have a wife, we would have issued you one.”

Watching Jack put his foot into his mouth at the speed of light should be a little fun, and I know when I first saw this episode I was amused, but this is my fourth or fifth time watching this episode... Now I can’t help but think that this kind of...set up is actually an ongoing problem in the series. That is to say, Jack didn’t actually say anything bad? Anything unreasonable? Elizabeth literally just twisted his words to make what he said sound worse. I mean, women aren’t delicate, but he can’t exactly come out and say, “If a woman wants to pee she has to sit down or squat, and out in the wilderness with other men/soldiers around, it’s not exactly conducive to cultivating a full and loving marriage.” Or, “Imagine being pregnant out there with no help for miles if something goes wrong, or when you need to deliver.”

Jack is being perfectly reasonable and he’s saying it in a way that gives the audience the idea that he was hoping to make Elizabeth laugh. But she doesn’t laugh, and the narrative, since it mostly follows her around (even the music does this), suggests that he’s some kind of vaguely misogynistic guy who underestimates women’s skill and ability or even their perseverance.

Sound familiar?

Yeah, it sounds like s4 and s5 Bill Avery, right? Consistently painted as unreasonable for overestimating women. Even though nothing about Bill’s personality in the early seasons would suggest he is that type of person at all.

Well, I guess they had to pass Forced Foot in Mouth Syndrome onto someone. (And the really nasty part of me can’t help but think that Jack is kind of a victim of this literal writing disease for quite some time... I wonder if or how much this played into Dan’s choice to leave the series, in the end?)

But that’s just speculation.

Anyway, that whole scene can be summed up as ��Elizabeth fishes for a date and pulls out the wrong fish. Maybe. Flings it back into the sea.”

Listen, we’ve all been Mary at some point; we’ve all done something completely embarrassing in a store and wanted the ground to swallow us up. Luckily for her, a reasonable looking man helps her pick up the mess and introduces himself as Dewitt Graves.

This scene is actually like, several levels of good, because even the music changes to accommodate a feeling, in this case, Mary at the counter being told her tab is full. Nobody gets mad at Ned over this, but I wish they did; heck, I honestly wish he had his own plotline. But the way the camera pans to Florence while the piano plays is just so...awful. I mean, sure, we know Florence is going to gossip about this incident, but in this particular moment what’s highlighted by the narrative presentation is Mary’s situation. We’ve probably all been there, too: had a card declined, or a card reader couldn’t read it at least. It’s awful, and it’s much worse for Mary. How’s she going to pay that tab off? (I also noticed the yarn in her basket... I wonder if it was to make something for Carla’s baby...)

It’s Mr. Graves to the rescue! Thank goodness. Even that scene is awkward and embarrassing...but at least she didn’t have to put everything back.

*Ned is the company store owner, so seeing him transition to a regular mercantile would be super, super cool. Plus he wouldn’t be a very popular person in town since he has to balance store credit and can’t do much more than the company policy allows him to, so that would have been a really fun plot to have.

Albert and Caleb interacting is another good scene, because Caleb gets to complain a bit about his family’s situation, and Albert gets to be understanding (and actually in more than just the episode he was introduced in, which sounds goofy but we need to be thankful for the little things).

We also find out that Mary’s a pretty good cook.

After a couple of episodes without Abigail, it’s nice to see her back, and her patience is literally unmatched. I howled with laughter when a coworker told me he wanted to plant pickles in his garden; he had no idea that pickles came from cucumbers!! Literally no idea. NONE. I could not contain my amusement. But Abigail is kind to Elizabeth and instead of mocking her ignorance, she makes each new thing into a learning experience. And Elizabeth takes it in stride and even mocks her own ignorance a little bit.

“At home they were just in the serving dish... magically.” A shared joke; this was honestly and truly pretty cute.

Florence just barging into Abigail’s place out of nowhere was hilariously in character, but hey, she’s come with that hot goss so I guess that’s almost like she’s got a key. ;)

I love how Abigail doesn’t rise to the lure of gossip, though, and is just...practical about the situation? Mary’s had it harder than most, so it was nice of that man to buy her groceries.

“I don’t think we can judge each other’s circumstances, Florence.”

“Are you ready to forget your Noah?”

“I will never forget my Noah, but at some point life goes on. For all of us. For you, too.”

And then Carla falls in the front door crying out for Abigail, kind of ruining this scene, or shunting it into the background.

Honestly, and again, this is the Abigail I loved as a character. She was good, but she wasn’t perfect, and her advice was always pretty gentle. I think she could have delivered it a little better, but she’s not wrong. Life does go on. But it made me think of Florence in s5, when Laura and Bill returned the note from the coat pocket to her. We learn about Florence so slowly that it’s wild to think at this point in the story we don’t really know her. She was madly in love with her Paul, and we know he adored her, too.

I never got the feeling that Abigail felt that way about Noah, but something I’m more than willing to praise this show for is its diverse showcasing of relationships. Not every marriage was one of love at this time, and not every marriage that started out with love stayed that way. That’s still true today, though, isn’t it?

Anyway, these women oftentimes couldn’t support themselves, so relationships were their best bet. And I love that Abigail takes Mary’s side; it’s not fair to judge. As we see later in this episode, Mary’s position is difficult.

But back to this scene: when Carla needs help, even Florence rushes to help her and reassure her.

This is the good stuff, you know what I mean? Abigail offering to let Carla move in for a while, Florence reassuring her that someone will look after her older boy, Elizabeth touched and moved by how these women step up and help one another.

“They go through life with such grace under fire. It makes me realize just how little I actually know about the real world. These women are teaching me by their example that when each of us offers a small kindness to a neighbor, it can become a very large blessing to the whole community.”

Like, Elizabeth isn’t stupid. She might be ignorant about how much work goes into making pickles, but she’s observant and willing to learn. In Elizabeth��s former life, she had no reason to think about these sorts of things; what ‘small kindness’ would she have offered her Hamilton neighbors? What kind of ‘community’ was she a part of there? It was a very different place and a different way of living. Here, in Coal Valley, small kindnesses oftentimes go a long way. People don’t have much; sometimes small kindnesses are all they have to give.

I really loved the touch of Mr. Backus showing the guys around a bit...recommending they all become a teetotaler (sober) like him. It’s not a long scene for him, but he’s clear-headed and obviously making an effort to improve himself...and he’s happy with that decision. It’s also kind of cool that he goes over to hang with Jack a bit afterward and have a drink of coffee.

Anyway, Billy puts on those smooth moves again with Elizabeth, and of course they work. He keeps it pretty low-key, though. And he doesn’t finish the poem. :(

Jack’s suspicion of him is kind of...eh. The guy hones in on Elizabeth but like, she’s the only really young woman in town that we’ve seen. Mary might be the next oldest? It’s hard to say.

Anyway, any sane young miner would have the hots for Elizabeth... Just sayin’.

The real question is: who is that curly haired guy and why didn’t he stick around?

I still really enjoyed Sam (the miner that Jack locked up) telling him that night in the jail was actually “kind of peaceful.” I’m pretty sure this is when Jack decides to move into the jail.

James, the former school bully, asks Caleb about his mom’s attempt to get a new husband, which of course Caleb denies.

I had to look James up to see if he was supposed to be the son of a character we know, and...I don’t think he is. His last name is Fermont. Maybe he’s the son of the unknown dark-haired woman who was at Abigail’s house for the sewing circle?

Anyway, there’s something to be said, again, about Ned.

He handles all telegrams so he knows everyone’s business. Even police business. It’s wild that he doesn’t have a larger role in the story at any point, and has never had his own arc.

“No one’s ever called me Mr. Graves.”

He’s charming. You know, he’s not the most attractive guy ever, but he’s a good person and he’s got a nice sense of humor and he’s humble. I liked Dewitt a lot from the start. And y’know what else I like? That he looks a mess after a day in the mine. You know this guy works hard and he’s tired as heck and all the lines in his face took 10x worse with the coal dust, and... Just... He could be a real person.

And he clearly thinks Mary is cute and sweet as heck. I love her hesitation, though; she’s not sure what she should do, but she invites him to dinner because it’s what’s best for everybody.

“I know it’s making me a better person.” Elizabeth wanting to be a better person is great, too.

Jack’s intrusion and comments are so pointed though. “All you need is good aim.” I mean, also, I don’t know that he ever is shown going hunting again? Huh.

Anyway, Billy starts pushing a little more seriously; and Elizabeth doesn’t quite accept the bait. She admits she has dreams but says, “Dreams are like birthday wishes. Say them aloud and they might not come true.”

And then we get the part of the season that drives me bonkers: the poem that Billy gives to Elizabeth and claims as his own.

I wrote an entire post about how this drove me nuts, so I won’t repeat too much of it here, but c’mon. This is a famous ballad that Elizabeth probably grew up playing on the piano, or at least singing ‘round the piano. I find it really hard to believe she wouldn’t immediately know that he didn’t write it.

I mean, she does say, “It’s very familiar... I can’t place the poet, though.” But the fact that she doesn’t remain suspicious about that is wild.

On the plus side, Andrew Walker has such a blessed ability for reciting poetry. I wouldn’t have minded hearing him recite more. He’s good.

I think with a little tweaking, I could have found this whole thing a bit more believable; maybe a different poem, one that she probably wouldn’t have had such an exposure to. Something more...obscure that she probably did read in the last few years, but which might have been easily forgotten in her studies. Not something she probably grew up singing? I don’t know.

I guess I just gotta give the writers credit for the way Billy tries to push off her feeling that it’s familiar with humor/romance and she just goes with it.

Listen, Dewitt is a good man. He doesn’t push Mary’s boundaries, he apologizes easily, he shows an understanding of Caleb’s situation, he waits for Mary to be seated before he sits, he’s genuinely sorry about taking the wrong hook on the wall...

I was frustrated with Caleb watching it, but I totally got it.

I think my favorite thing about this scene is that when Dewitt asks Mary to the dance (in this roundabout awkward kind of adorable way), she says she honored but asks to have time to think about it, and he’s fine with that.

“That’s all a man can ask for, is a little bit of hope.”

It’s sweet, but it’s not over the top.

Mary’s conversation with Caleb is a little sad...but I feel like he’s just too young to really understand what it is she’s saying when she tells him: “Things don’t always turn out the way we want them to. Now, I’m your mama, and I’m going to do what I have to do for our family.” And then, a little bit later, “I need to look out for our future now. It’s what I’m doing as your mom. And you need to understand that.”

Clearly she’s trying to say, “I can’t provide for us by myself. I need a man and it’s not what I want to have to resort to, but that’s just how it is. It sucks but you need to understand that I don’t have a choice.”

I mean, we’ve seen her situation: the tab is full at the company store, she’s relying on Caleb to catch fish just to have something to eat that isn’t potato soup, and without store credit even potato soup is off the menu. How are they going to last the winter?

In its own way, the whole situation is tragic. Even if Mary wasn’t madly in love with her husband, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want the time to grieve properly. Unfortunately her feelings aren’t allowed to matter; she can’t let them. She has to do what she can to ensure that her son has a future.

Something I don’t like about this episode is the suggestion that the town had a midwife “for years” who “left after the mining accident.” It’s one of those situations that might have been best left alone. I would have preferred that Abigail be an unofficial midwife or something, or even a short discussion about how their supposed midwife was just a woman who had birthed six children or eight children in her younger years and had experience and was better than no one at all.

The only reason I can think of that a midwife would leave town would be if she was afraid the town’s infrastructure would collapse and it would die. But eh. I think the worldbuilding around this midwife is extremely fragile and not very well-done. At least it was mentioned? I don’t know.

The Elizabeth/Jack conversation about Billy is kind of painful...and again we have Jack flinging his foot down his own windpipe... Sigh. The more it happens the less I like it.

That’s all I can really say right now.

Elizabeth’s conversation with Mary is... I don’t know. It’s heavy. Not gonna lie, I wanted to see Mary all done up. That said, it’s probably for the best that Elizabeth brought up Caleb and ruined the moment.

Mary tries to be frank with Elizabeth about her situation:

Mr. Graves is a good man

I think he may care for me

I didn’t think another man would ever pay attention to me again

I’m not willing to waste another minute frittering away my son’s future when this could be a chance for us.

Elizabeth says she “understands” to which Mary says, “I don’t think you do understand. You were raised with all of the options in the world available to you, and I have next to nothing.”

Mary isn’t wrong, and this is something I like about the early episodes; Elizabeth has GOOD INTENTIONS by saying she “understands” but there’s no way she fully can. She can’t really grasp what Mary is going through, not fully. It’s a shame because Elizabeth really didn’t mean any harm by it; she also really did want Mary to wear a pretty dress! But Elizabeth’s worry about Caleb came at the expense of her worry for Mary, and what that did was alienate Mary from feeling like she could rely on Elizabeth.

This is the kind of “miscommunication” that is believable and real, and that I wish the show had continued to utilize where it matters.

And here we’ve got it... Florence busts into the jail where Jack is and tells him that someone stole her late husband’s gold watch.

“Someone broke into your house?”

“Right in the middle of the night with my child slumbering nearby!”

Missing is: gold watch, cufflinks. Both out of her top dresser drawer.

Well, Florence has a child. Apparently. I don’t think we ever find out who the child is, let alone see them. I’m pretty sure this ends up retconned by the end of the first season/at the beginning of the second. Unless Florence’s “child” is a cat.

Anyway, something I do appreciate? That Florence is asked to keep quiet about this (so that the thief doesn’t get nervous and skip town) and...she actually...does so.

I find it hard to believe that the entire class would panic over a snake, but okay.

Caleb’s talk with Elizabeth is nice. She’s not always very good at talking to other adults about their pain, but I think she’s pretty good with the kids. Adults can’t help but see hidden meanings and nuance in everything; kids tend to just hear the words that are said.

Anyway, Caleb’s struggle with the memories, with the idea that maybe for his mom memories are painful, but for him they’re all good... That gets me a little in the feelings. And how Elizabeth just jumps in to let Caleb talk about his dad by asking what he was like... Man, she really is pretty good with the children. They need to grieve too, and oftentimes it’s in a way that’s different to how we as adults get through it. Her place as a bit of an outsider lets her ask these questions without any issue.

And Caleb doesn’t say anything, you know, revolutionary about his pa. He just says that he was tall and strong and funny, he liked to sing and whistle and fish, and they cooked fish together on the riverbank after they caught ‘em. “Nobody can replace him... Nobody.”

Abigail goes to the dance with Carla’s instructions to dance a waltz for her (which Abigail does, with Mr. Backus) and a promise to return soon.

Last year I made a post about how this dance is a great example of the magic of season one and I don’t want to repeat it too much here, but in the first few seconds you get an idea of how well off people are financially just based on what they wear; you see Cat and Ned as part of the musical trio who is playing. You see the younger women with their hair down or partially down and all the older women with their hair up and you see Abigail take charge to get the party started (this would be more or less her job as the highest ranked mine employee’s wife).

Even cooler, some kids did come to the party. The dances are short. The second the waltz comes on Abigail gets the dance she told Carla she’d get, and Elizabeth comes into the room with Billy Hamilton.

And then Caleb shows up in his dad’s coat.

Which gets me right in the feelings every time, but the best part about it is that, at first nobody even really notices he’s there; the other kids don’t mock him or anything. Everyone is just...touched when he cuts in on his mom’s dance with Dewitt.

And Dewitt bows out gracefully--and a few people seem touched by it but most people are wrapped up in their own dance and a big deal isn’t made of it. It’s just a nice, short, surprisingly touching scene.

The episode ends with Carla in labor, Billy being sweet on Elizabeth, and Jack getting a telegram that says the company Billy claims to have worked for...has never heard of him.

DUN DUN DUN...

Overall Thoughts:

The plot in this episode is a lot calmer than before. We have small things going on, but the big plot was definitely the concept of ‘moving on’ and of, I guess, doing what needs to be done—or at least respecting other people’s decision to do so.

I don’t actually have a lot of thoughts? I guess I sat around going, “Wow there are a lot of people named William in this series who go by something else I guess.”

But other than that, I was pretty much satisfied with this plot. Very little about it annoyed me or made me want to do editing. I really enjoy Mary as a character, too; her motivations are unique to her in this show and I wish they had been a little more thoroughly explored overall, but we get a decent amount of attention on her for a background character! (Still, her story alone could be almost its own novel.)

To end, how about the entirety of that Dickinson poem, hm?

“Hope” is the thing with feathers - That perches in the soul - And sings the tune without the words - And never stops - at all - And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard - And sore must be the storm - That could abash the little Bird That kept so many warm - I’ve heard it in the chillest land - And on the strangest Sea - Yet - never - in Extremity, It asked a crumb - of me.

(314) Emily Dickinson

See you all again next episode!

#when calls the heart #season 1 #abigail stanton #mary dunbar #dewitt graves #caleb dunbar #elizabeth thatcher #jack thornton #billy hamilton #analysis and meta discussion #character studies and information

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italicwatches · 6 years

Text

The Good Place - Season 2, Episode 01

Okay, so, we’ve got a few things to run down the line.

First and foremost, you might notice the lack of image. Real talk, I delayed this by two entire series, just trying to find a way to screenshot or screen grab or somehow get a fucking image out of Netflix on mobile.

I have, as you can see, failed to do so. There might be a way to force it that I haven’t figured out yet, and if any iOS or Android wizards are reading this and can help me figure out a way to do it, I’m all ears. Until that point, we are kicking this old school.

Secondly, if you are reading this on the RPGNet forums, you might know that we are about to undergo a mega upgrade that will put us on lockdown the whole weekend.

I am not stopping for that weekend. While posts will go up after, I also post these to a tumblr blog, Italic Watches. Check in and see what’s going on, follow, reblog, annoy your friends, click on anything bell-shaped, I think that’s how it works.

Oh, and thirdly, if you’re reading this on Tumblr…We’re about to super spoil this show’s first season, which I haven’t had a chance to get up here yet. Make sure you’re caught up first, got it?

With those things said, let’s get this show on the road. It’s The Good Place, season 2, episode 01! Here we GO!

-LAST SEASON on the Good Place. Eleanor died, woke up, was told she was in the Good Place, met Chidi, revealed she wasn’t intended for the Good Place. Met the couple Tahani and Jianyu, and Jianyu is really an idiot DJ named Jason from Florida. I am not fond of him having my name. She ultimately revealed that she was a liar…And then figured out that this was all an experiment by the Bad Place crew, and this WAS the Bad Place from the start! And so, the man in charge, Michael, realized the one answer was to reboot and start things over…And Eleanor had one single chance to hide a clue…

-Chapters 14 & 15.

In his office, Michael prepares for his latest meeting with his boss who I forget the name of. He’s made a bunch of little tweaks, like how now there’s no fresh coffee, it’s JUST pod machines. And new soulmates, trained actors. He won’t let you down! Yes you will. You most absolutely will fail, and be truly infamous for the next round of eternity.

-So Michael frantically has a company meeting with his staff crew. Various demons have lots of questions, including Vicky really wanting to get to play Real Eleanor again. Now she’s stuck playing Denise, and she doesn’t get Denise, and yeah there’s a lot of uncertainty…

-But, okay. Listen, guys. The opening salvo from version one was SOLID. They’re gonna re-use it. Get Eleanor drunk as hell at the welcome party, and then get her to make mistakes so they have material for the next morning’s chaos sequence! And he gets it, that humans with their mouths and elbows suck and are the worst. Sure, you’ll be tempted to do this the easy way, the old way. But this is going to work, and it’s going to be better. Now, say it with him. One, two, three, TORTURE!

-So hey, back with Eleanor, she’s trying to figure it out and also remember Janet’s name. Which is not working. But now she has a name. Chidi. But who, or what, is Chidi? Is that a type of soup? Okay, whatever it is, it’s gotta be in this town.

-Into the town! Where she meets Nina and Bart, soulmates, and tries to figure out how to find people…And also learns there’s no phones. No phones. At all. …Fork. So that didn’t work.

-And then she runs into ‘Jianyu’, silent monk, who passes her a sprocket…? Is, is he…?

-Cue Michael! Who quickly lets her know about Jianyu, the Taiwanese monk who never speaks. Might not be the first person you should get to know, what with a barrier that big. And look, they both know you’re not like everyone else here…

-S-She isn’t?

-Your work as an environmental activist was amazing, truly amazing! “Yes, well, I loved…Mushrooms. I can honestly say that.”

-Pop quiz do you think she’s referring to the ones other people put on pizza or the magic kind.

-So of course, Michael wants her to say a few words at the welcome party…By which he means an hour. And she gets a special little something to wear.

-A sash that declares her BEST PERSON. Which she has on at the party with her new man, whose heart is in the pope, his liver in the Dalai Lama, and his teeth are a necklace for a child king. And then he immediately ditches his tux to go get ripped. I kind of like his character. Very charming meathead.

-So who’s running this amazing manor, what with it no longer being Tahani? It’s Jessica, who wants to hear her big speech! And also she brought a very full glass of wine for Eleanor…Eleanor who tries to refuse, because can you imagine being drunk right before a big speech? “Getting kicked out of your niece’s christening…And only later, once you’ve sobered up, realizing you don’t even a niece? It’s like, who was that kid?”

-The whole party, of course, is full of people trying to offer her drinks, trying to line up that first shot. The problem is, it’s not working…She eventually tries to sneak a quick shot and a few shrimps, just trying to clear her head a little, and it’s looking like things might get back on track…

-Then she hears a woman arguing with a man.

-By the name.

-Of Chidi. SHE KNEW HE WASN’T A SOUP! Listen. They need to talk. Privately.

-Flashback to the moment Chidi awoke, rebooted. And learned that all of his heroes, all of the great philosophers, are in the Bad Place. Where they go naked to a class they’ve never been to on quiz day, every day. …And then they get smashed with hammers. That part’s not as clever as the rest. But you beat all of them at actually living by the principles you spoke of…

-And where things got interesting, is that Chidi was set up with multiple soulmates. See, normally, you get matched with one person. A perfect match to your core personality, the single best person across all things for you. But every so often, you get two paired matches. And so you have a choice!

-Here. Meet Pedro, Angelique, and Pevita. So, you four have a paired match. Any one of you, would be happy with any one of the other three. So all you have to do is someone has to make the call. Have fun! Chidi, did not have fun. He did not have fun with this at all. Because if you know Chidi, well, you know how badly this was gonna be for Chidi. The man who once had a moral panic attack at a make your own sundae bar.

-Sidenote, listen, buddy, the answer is simple. Chocolate pallet. Chocolate pallet, with creamy, and some of those little cheesecake bites.

-I’d fight somebody for some of those little cheesecake bites right now. Like, just so we’re clear.

-So he started trying to get to know them both, and an incredibly obvious answer was set before him with Angelique being so much more obviously better…But literally the instant he said that, Michael came racing in, and showing that there was a calculator error from one four-hour gap in mid-2003, and with that deviation taken into account, there was a deviation somewhere deep in the decimal points that DEFINITIVELY showed that Pedro should be with Angelique and Chidi with Pevita!

-…Shit. He’s good.

-And Chidi immediately buckled under the pressure and went with it instead of standing up for himself.

-So of course, they all ran into each other at the party. Which sent things even more sideways…Oh, and to make things even messier, right after he went to the bar to try and clear his head, up came ‘Denise’ to throw an additional wrinkle…I mean until Angelique stepped in.

-Basically what I am saying is that Chidi has had a very bad day.

-Which swings us back to the Now, and to Eleanor pulling Chidi aside to have a long, serious conversation. And she takes him to a side room, and shows him the note…At some point, before she woke up here, this note, in her handwriting, was in do-not-say-her-name’s mouth. And everyone’s been trying to ply her with liquor at this party.

-Something is not adding up. Her soulmate won’t spend more than two seconds with her. And a weird monk guy gave her THIS mysterious magic bracelet. …Eleanor now that I have a better look at that I am about 95% sure that is a bicycle gear, and most of the remaining 5% is taken up by the phrase Spacely Sprocket. She can’t hear me, this is linear fiction.

-…And then Chidi takes it all off the track because he is too consumed with his own shit to help her. And then, it’s speech time!

-Actually it’s time to get back to the start point. Tahani’s waking up. …And I’m just gonna add her name to the dictionary so I don’t get a super racist autocorrect error. And she gets to meet her soulmate, Tomás, whose medical work was ultimately funded by her tireless fundraising! Such perfect pairings you’d almost think some twisted, vindictive devil was setting it all up.

-Especially since Tomás here is about a head shorter than her. And it’s just getting from bad to worse, as we see her new house with him. It’s a…

-Actually shit I kind of love this place. It’s this little cottage out in the middle of nature, comfy and cozy and I’m getting real warm vibes off of it, good job lighting team on that one. Tomás then declares that they don’t need anywhere near all this space, so, bye-bye second floor! …Listen I know he’s playing a bit to dig under all of Tahani’s unexamined superiority issues but I would fucking love this cottage.

-…Oh fuck her sister’s paintings are all over the walls. Jesus, Michael, there’s torture and then there’s just cruelty. And Tomás is just gonna go in his usual digs to this swanky shindig, so…

-So that’s how Tahani ends up at the party in the inverse of her soulmate’s clothes. He’s in jeans and a green jacket, she’s in green pants and a denim jacket. And she’s really not handling it well. “I’m just not used to dressing like a plumber-ess!”

-You know, I’d feel bad, but literally everything Tomás’s character is presenting to fuck with her is kind of my jam so mostly I’m just rolling my eyes at her…her-ness.

-They are really digging in just how bad of a person Tahani is at the zero-point, though. …Also okay I will grant, I’m not a fan of Crocs unlike Tomás here. More of a flip flop man, comes with the Californian territory.

-So he’s off to the bar, and Tahani gets a chance to talk with Michael…And of course he puts the doubt in her head, reminding her that the system is Never Wrong. And if she wants, they can change the house! Do you want a mansion like this? Bigger? How about a moon? They can put you on a fucking moon Tahani, if that is how much space you need, to be in literal space. Is that what you need? Do you need your own personal moon, Tahani?

-Still not feeling bad for zero-point Tahani.

-Like, not even a little bit.

-So we get back to the encounter point, as Tahani ends up being the one left with Eleanor’s drinks when she races after Chidi…Just in time to run into another guy wearing the same green cargo pants as her. They’re cargo pants buddies! He was a garbage man in Winnipeg, what did you do in life? …Right, time to down them shots!

-And then it’s speech time. Eleanor gets up in front of the crowd, and tries to get to work on something akin to a speech, frazzled enough to actually be trying to take this seriously—

-. . .

-o o o

-I don’t know what I expected.

-But a drunk Tahani shoving her out of the way to vent about the bullshit of her first day, was not exactly at the top of my expectation list. So she’s…Not doing great. And Michael quietly tries to encourage Eleanor to get things back on track.

-Which is when Tahani is drunk enough to demand the mansion, and so Eleanor tries to take her aside to get some coffee and Tahani is not having it. “Is this your first time ever wearing a sash?!” …Well good job, Tahani, you made me sympathize with and feel bad for (nearly) zero-point Eleanor. That is not an easy task.

So that’s how Tahani…

-Um…

-…Oh boy.

-Oh dear.

-She rips the sash off of Eleanor. Stumbles back over the shrimp table. Knocks over a candelabra. And sets the curtains on fire.

-…Not a great day for Tahani.

-Back to the zero point, for our final man. ‘Jianyu’ woke up, and got handed his chance to just keep his mouth shut. And learned that his own soulmate connection was more deeply forged on a spiritual level than a romantic one. Which is how he met Luang, a fellow Buddhist monk. Binary souls, a perfect reflection of the other!

-And indeed, they spent all their time together, with lots of action mirroring, much to Jianyu’s frustration…Which led to that encounter with Eleanor. Right when he was taking the gear and wheels off of Luang’s bicycle to better ditch him. Which is how Eleanor ended up with that gear, right off the bike, before Jianyu rode off in a flash, finally on his own…

-Only to find Luang waiting for him back at their shared hut. Because of course.

-So to their point in the party, where Jianyu got introduced to the whole Janet situation. And got a pair of heaping glasses of yak’s milk. Jianyu did not do well with it, to say the least.

-So back into the Now, Tahani goes down hard as the fires burn furiously, and Jianyu books it, and right about when Tahani is sobbing about an excessive amount of pockets, Michael realizes shirt is off script.

-Back to his office, to the zero-point for him, and to all the lining up the details. Setting up Eleanor for the speech. Torturing Tahani in her little ways. Setting up Jianyu with the one character who would be of no help to him. Chidi’s hellish situation…And then ‘Denise’ pulling him aside.

-Vicky’s still not liking this situation one bit. Even if Denise runs the best pizza place in town and has a cat, and Michael insists those are pretty cool. …I mean, he’s not wrong there, but Vicky adored playing Real Eleanor! She got to break Chidi’s heart like 20 times, and really mess with him, but now Angelique is playing the game?! She’s a Ferrari stuck in the garage while some little Smart Car put-puts around!

-Listen, listen listen listen. You’ve got a great part coming up in just a few decades, and it includes Chidi. He’s gonna accidentally kill your cat. And it’ll TORTURE him. …Just give her a bigger part! A character bit! You know what, give her a limp! Just SOMETHING to act with!

-Which explains Denise’s whole circus-injury thing when she ‘ran into’ Chidi. I’m not gonna lie I might be more invested in Vicky the bristling actress than in a lot of the other hooks for the actual main characters.

-And things were starting to line up, as Michael checked in with some of the others…And learned that Eleanor wasn’t drinking. Eleanor, who snuck a flask into the car with her during her driving test. But okay, just start moving it forward, aim for the speech…

-And then, well, you know the rest of how that went. And Chidi pulls Eleanor aside, because he’s realizing things aren’t lining up. That note, it was on a page of a book he used to teach. He’s getting…Some kind of feeling off of her, one of those deja vu ‘swear I’ve met you before’ vibes. …Eleanor is pretty convinced that that’s some kind of pickup line. And she’s not entirely turning the idea down, either.

-You know, there was a lot of speculation on whether Eleanor might be bi or such given her attraction to Tahani bubbling up through the first season, but real talk I think she’s just horny.

-Anyways, Michael pulls some core cast into another room to talk, because things are off the rails. You can’t build a chaos sequence for Tahani because Tahani isn’t in here on the “mistaken identity” fiction! They need to get something going with Eleanor, where is she?

-…Good question, Michael.

-Great question.

-Superb question.

-Nobody knows.

-Also Chidi and Jay are also missing.

-Michael is…Shall we say…Displeased. And then Eleanor’s ‘soulmate’ comes to check in because it turns out he’s been claiming he’s off to the gym literally every time Eleanor tries to confess to him. So he really is a meathead.

-How. Many. Times. Have you claimed you were going to go to the gym, or work out, or otherwise used exercise to escape. “Five…No, nine!” Listen, he liked his old job! It was simple! He was a twister! People came in, he twisted them until they snapped in half, he moved on to the next person! But this job is weird! It’s all talking, and emotions, and nobody’s getting twisted! Now he’s REALLY going to the gym!

-Okay. Okay. Deep breath. They need the four humans so they can get back on track. …MOVE YOU IDIOTS! MOVE!

-Cut over to Chidi and Eleanor, who’ve caught up, and Chidi’s…Not handling it well. They clearly met before. But not in life. But she’s not supposed to be here. And this is their first day here. Is he also not supposed to be here?! Did they meet in the Bad Place, or some other cosmic metaphor?!

-And what do they DO?! Eleanor has no idea, but they need to figure it out…!

-Late at night, all on his own, Jay calls up Janet. And in need of someone to talk to, confesses you know everything he’s confessing. So Janet listens, and Jay just wants to be less confused and lonely…And so Janet has somewhere he can go, and so he hugs her, as their ship starts to build back up.

-Back at Eleanor’s place, Chidi’s…Well he’s gotten it to two possibilities. This book this is from is not exactly a 101 text. It’s something he taught at the grad-school level. So, they must have had a lot of time to discuss and study the material…Or, you know, you just tore it out of the first book you found. But still, it’s something.

-And that’s when Michael finds them! Here to apologize for the commotion at the party, and to escort Chidi back home. Which is when Tahani drops by to return the sash after everything that happened…And she’s feeling things aren’t right!

-And that’s when Tomás finds them, and also Pevita. And Janet brings Jay on by and Eleanor is still convinced that that bicycle gear is a magic amulet and Luang comes to get Jianyu and…

-…And Jay breaks character openly and in front of everyone and then Eleanor’s man shows up and, seeing things are off the rails, he just rips his suit off once again to go back to the gym. Again.

-And Eleanor can tell you one thing right here. This is NOT what Michael there’s saying it is. This is NOT the Good Place. This is some…Some prank show! And then she reveals the note, and Michael can’t help but laugh. Very clever, Eleanor! This does explain how things went off-script immediately. But okay, another loop, and without any tricks or built-up materials this time!

-Tahani tries to talk to his boss and SNAP

-Fresh meeting with the crew. You know the human saying, third time’s the charm, right folks? Listen, it was a false start, but Eleanor has no note…He calls up Janet, and checks her internals all the way shoulder deep. …Hey, Michael, did you check with Shawn the boss-man? Of course! And he thought it was very funny and is very supportive and don’t call him he’s a busy man.

-Any other questions? Vicky has one! Michael is not acknowledging it. At all. Then it’s back to his office, where…Shawn calls in and what is going on, Michael? And Michael just starts lying through his god damned teeth about how attempt number 2 is going. You will not be getting an attempt number three if this goes awry, Michael. …Riiiight. Right right right.

-Credits!

…Well that did not go how I expected.

#where I watch #recap #live action #the good place #season 2 #spoilers

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redandfranticfeelings · 6 years

Note

'tag things making fun of doug' because your personal enjoyment of an abuser's content should supersede the feelings of the people he abused by making them act out rape jokes? the fact that making fun of an abuser upsets you because you like him warrants some serious self-examination on your part. 'you can't make fun of an abuser around me bc i like his content and you can't criticize me bc mental illness' is some wendycorduroy shit. i'm surprised you'd do this given how critical you are of her.

and yes, people are allowed to not like you for still liking the show. ofc people can have problematic interests if they want, but content that has been directly used by its creators to abuse people is a special kind of bad. you’re allowed to like it, but guilt tripping people or implying they’re not allowed to dislike the fact that you still support it is incredibly callous to the people rob, doug, and mike abused. this is not, nor should it be, about your feelings. this is about the victims.

you know what. upon further consideration, those asks were not kindly phrased. my intention was to emphasize that because the anniversary movies were vessels for abuse (injuries, rape jokes, etc) it was inappropriate to prioritize one’s own feelings over the feelings of the victims or block out criticism, but i phrased them in a way that was not productive and was attacking you. i’m sorry for my wording and for being a dick

thank you for your follow up apology. i see where youre coming with this but i think there’s a few things that i can point towards me not giving up on the show altogether.

short answer: while i detest the way the company has been run and is executing public relations, and i am uncomfortable watching any video on their channel and have not done such for weeks, and i really want the harmed ex-producers to receive justice, i still believe there is a shred of hope for the show based on what recent producers have said, and that doug can reform himself by owning up to his deliberate ignorance, neglect, and egotism, though he is not the biggest abuser in this situation. i have a lot of emotional history with NC that means i need time before i’m able to drop the show altogether, if i ever can, and i just want to avoid anything that isn’t constructive and just intended to make anybody feel bad for liking the show/movies before this information was widely known.

long answer:

most of the criticism lauded against doug isnt so much being the direct abuser but being complacent and ignorant of people’s health. if i recall correctly, while it was a pretty unnecessary and terrible joke to make in my opinion, he didn’t pick up that the drill scene in TBF made anybody uncomfortable at the time? and in recent years he seems more concerned about what his cast undergoes, and a lot of them have said that he does ask about jokes that might hurt them and make sure they’re comfortable. i believe he apologized for it and acknowledged his naievity in the movie’s commentary but restating that apology would be beneficial now, yeah.

while complacency and ignorance is bad, i think he has been neglectful, not directly abusive. also, idk if you meant this, but your phrasing makes it kinda sound like his projects were intended as a means to abuse people; the abuse happened because of the movies, yeah, but it was because of doug being egotistical and ignorant, not malicious. the content of the movies reflect’s doug’s massive ego but it doesn’t reflect a desire to abuse anybody. if he did the shit that mike michaud or mike ellis did, that would be inexcusable for me and i would have lost hope for him.

if anybody is definitely abusive, it’s the CEO, who i love watching get bashed because he is indeed a sexist verbally abusive asshole who holds the power in the company and is using it for his stupid selfish needs. it’s also been stated that doug is restricted by his contract with the CEO and could just straight up not be able to make videos if he stepped out of turn, so while i wish he would use his walkout power more, he doesn’t have as much power as some people attribute to him. he’s complicit in abuse but i don’t think that’s the same as being abusive? the producers themselves seem to go back and forth about how they feel about him but a recurring theme is that he’s tragically ignorant of abuse, but not on the same level of abusive as michaud, if they call him abusive at all (most just seem to feel betrayed by him).

additionally, almost all creators who have worked with him in the past couple of years, have stated they had generally positive experiences with the network, even the ones who are now leaving. the only thing that seems to remain an issue is the awful, awful PR (that apology sucked, i criticized it myself) and the lack of communication towards anybody not chicago-based. i feel they need to ditch michaud (which probably won’t be easy, since he’s a shady capitalist fuck), formally apologize and maybe provide compensation for past producers who were abused by the higher-ups, and either improve relations or just restrict everything to NC, because at this point that’s the only show that’s going to be left if they don’t get their shit together anyway. but i do think that if they just take the easy solution of apologizing, even though it’s already way too late and they royally fucked themselves over, things can be a little better.

i’m also not against criticizing doug for not speaking out, because the least he could do is apologize at least privately and i’ve even emailed him imploring him to do at least that (i don’t expect a response though lmao). i just get hurt at people attacking the show and movies as being terrible and something no fan should like. a lot of people really attached to the series before this blew up, and for the most part the content of the show doesn’t reflect the behind-the-scenes issues.

i’m spreading relevant information on twitter regarding abuse and producers’ feelings, but so many people (obviously not the producers, but the fans/haters) involved in this are more concerned with just shitting on doug bc they don’t like him and a lot are trying to make him out as worse than he is. i want to spread what the producers say because i trust them, but i’m wary of fans who seem to just be in it for the drama or bc they never liked NC and they wanna spite people who did (yes, those people exist, they mocked me on kiwifarms).

i know this isn’t about me, but i’ve invested a lot of money and time and emotional energy in the show, it’s introduced me to new friends, and it’s been directly and indirectly responsible for some of my highest and lowest points of the past year and a half. my comfort ship has been very helpful in helping my loneliness. it gave me something to look forward to every day. not to pull the autism card, but it’s difficult for me to drop a special interest very easily and i’m jealous of people who can. i need time to grow entirely out of it if i can.

but even still, i haven’t watched a NC episode in weeks, even the new ones, due to my discomfort and shame towards the show and network (only NC thing i watched lately was the hyper q&a, which is on tamara’s channel, and i used it to fall asleep). i unsubscribed, and i really i only care about a few aspects of the show anyway.

if you want to hate me because i can’t immediately remove NC from my heart then fine, but if so, just unfollow me. i don’t want people to not post NC criticism, and i fully endorse spreading relevant information because i care about the victims and i want them to receive justice. i just want hate tagged so i, personally, do not have to be constantly reminded that a show that is/was close to my heart has so many awful things behind it, even if i’m not sure if i still love it anymore. and while i have been a bit guilt-trippy in the past i’ve been confronted on that already and i’m trying not to come across that way, and i’m sorry for having been manipulative at all. i’m paranoid about being abandoned and hated just for having watched this show but unless you’re like, a super close friend of mine, you can unfollow any time you want.

#answers #this is WAY TOO LONG i spent too much time on this #but i needed to address this #i rly rly rly hope i didnt misspeak on this hhhh #Anonymous #nostalgia critic #im not against criticism bc ive said shit on my own #im not even against ppl making fun of it i just dont wanna see it #channel awesome

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cheezybiouwiou · 4 years

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a briefing so i don’t have to repeat myself

My parents got divorced when I was one. He ‘went on holiday’ to Switzerland when I was about 6, the only contact I’ve had with him has been like through letters when we’ve tried to change our names in court or something.

I’ve lived in three countries and moved house over 30 times - it sounds weird but there’s always been a good reason.

We were like the famous five kids (my cousins, my sisters and I) for years, but then my aunt’s a little crazy, so long story short we fell out and didn’t see them for like 8 years (side note, saw them this summer and it was weird but nice).

Uncle is batshit crazy and a psychopath, we don’t talk to him. He likes to remind my mum that he could kidnap/murder us every so often which is fun. My grandma has alzheimers (so does my great aunt), and my dad’s side of the family we don’t have contact with. Everyone else just isn’t around or is dead I’m pretty sure (that’s not tragic it’s just old age yk).

Umm, so, mum was determined to send us to private school, so after the divoce although we stayed in private education, she/we sacrificed a lot to get there. We weren’t poor or anything, just life was tight. That at one point led to us moving to Spain for a year (wonderful but crazy experience, I was like 6 at the time and genuinely my heart is in Spain. We have a house there in this tiny village, it’s kinda the only constant I’ve had in my life.

After that we moved back to England and I went to a boarding school (very minimal boarding at first though, so easy). Had an amazing time, yada yada then my mum met my soon-to-be stepfather. Long story short again, he had a bit of money and they got married quick, it seemed great at first but he turned out to be a wackass hoe as well.

A series of unfortunate events involving us moving into my grandma’s to look after her and my batshit uncle threatening to kill our cat and kicking us out of that house led to us moving a bajillion times between holiday rentals for like a year. We then ended up moving to Shanghai, again seems incredible at first until you remember that this is the point at which he started showing his true colours and being super emotionally abusive to my mum. Shanghai also happened to be a really convenient way to isolate a person. Anyways, I got sick of it after a year because the education was shit so ended up going to the UK and going to a super uptight full-time boarding school for the next year.

Went here, homesick as shit and my brain decided it would be a perfect time (when I’m in a super intense academic and conservative environment where the only person I have in the country is my sister) for my ✧・ﾟ:* issues *:・ﾟ✧ to manifest/me to actually understand shit. So yeah, bad year for me. This was also compounded by my mum (yk cut back to China where she’s being emotionally abused and my other sister is having a shit time) having an absolute breakdown. Idk the timing worked out great bc my shit time coencided with hers and she couldn’t cope with that on top of my homesickness and on top of her issues so this, combined with the multiple arguments that I had with her, meant that she told me to stop bothering her and so I did. We didn’t talk for weeks, and now I have ✧・ﾟ:* emotional scars/trust issues and our relationship has never been the same *:・ﾟ✧.

Anyways, she escaped by some miracle and we ended up back in England all together. This was when we returned to the flexi-boarding school (the one from before China) because it was the only one we could afford to go to. Sooo that place was super negligent and basically all I can say is that they had a really good PR team to stop all those suicide attempts within that school from going public.

Anyways, the first year was iffy, but as I said before, the issues that were becoming more apparently at the last school were kinda becoming more and more apparent (I now know it’s anxiety, depression, and then a possible spicy element of ADHD that we haven’t even got to yet). There was also another issue in that I’m bisexual and I was figuring that whole thing out (this is a side note but I’m probably non-binary but that’s a whole other issue that I’m confused/in denial about), but that led to me becoming friends with basically just the queer kids in my year because all my friends stopped talking to me. At this point I started almost full-boarding again.

Then I started dating one of my friends (Draco, AFAB but confused about their gender identity). Started off sweet, but long story short we dated for a year and a half and I’ve never been more broken (tried to kermit the frogicide 3 times hehe they barely counted as attempts yeet). Uhh there’s a lot to unpack with this one but I’ll try to simplify:

They had abusive parents (physically and emotionally)

They had bipolar

They also were raped by their dad multiple times

They were super manipulative. I wasn’t allowed to be happy about anything because it made them feel bad.

I wasn’t allowed to feel confident in my body because they had severe body issues. I ended up developing an eating disorder (all I ate was tea, toast after midnight and like milk and digestives).

I started self-harming.

My relationship with my sisters and mum was atrocious. It was definitely a huge part my fault, but not entirely.

As a group we were definitely very toxic. But yeah, on top of all this their best friend committed suicide, and they’d been in emotionally abusive relationships. This led to them being super suicidal. There was I think from November to February where every time they left school to go home, they’d literally try to kill themself. And I’d be stuck while they’re messaging me the whole time saying like “sorry you’re not enough to save me”. Every night. For months I was spending my whole life literally just trying to keep them alive.

Idk if I blame them, because it was definitely their trauma that made them act like it, but some of the stuff they did was manipulative and shit. Lying to me a lot, promising they’re telling the truth when actually lying. Constantly pushing me away, and then being mad when I couldn’t talk to them because they blocked me. Telling lies to my friends to get them to stop talking to me and then stopping me from telling my friends the truth (I wouldn’t tell them just because Draco made it seem like it would hurt Draco, and I was terrified of doing that). That sorta stuff.

I became a therapist for a lot of kids in my year, and so all that pressure of keeping like 20 kids from committing not-alive, on top of my issues just wasn’t a good look for me.

This led to as I said, the eating disorder, and also heavvyyyy dissociation. It also led to alcoholism which was just an unexpected turn. I just didn’t realise how bad all of these problems were at the time. Not a good time, a lot of loneliness, skipping lessons, that sorta thing.

Anyways, mum managed to get me out of the school (after a breakdown and an ambulance having to be called to the school because I drank too much). I did my GCSEs from home by some miracle, and she moved me to the local sixth form. I broke up with the person, and then had a few months over the summer that were life changing.

I moved to a new sixth-form, and it’s been rocky and uphill and super hard but I worked my ass off and I’m in so much better of a place than I was. It was rough at the start, but basically I had a pathetic amount of CBT therapy from the NHS, and the only good thing it did for me was to let me know that 1) I hate CBT, and 2) I already managed to teach myself a lot of the coping skills in the last year.

Then corona rolled around, and my anxiety went through the roof again, depressive episodes came and went and I’m still getting no help. But yeah, it basically made me realise that sure I’ve come a long way but I’m barely holding it together. It most CERTAINLY isn’t helped by the astronomical stress levels I’m getting from my A-levels and just generally existing at the moment is hard. I’m also low-key lonely because people kind of suck (I lost almost all my friends from my old school, don’t get me wrong that was for good reason, but that doesn’t mean that it didn’t suck. But yeah, I also got into a group of people at the start that were kinda shitty and so now it can be kinda lonely because it’s hard to make new friends).

My relationship with my mum has improved but it’s rocky as fuck. She’s very childish and I’m pretty sure hit the jackpot for trauma in every capacity but just pretends that sHe’S fiNe. While I’m writing this, she’s been incredible. Genuinely incredible. But also she can be one of the biggest problems in making me want to cease existing. She can be extremely manipulating and invalidating of my emotions, and generally make me feel like I’m going insane because she knows that I have no power over my life. She’s admitted it’s because she has to be in control of everything, but admitting it doesn’t mean it’s not toxic. It’s one of the hardest things in my life when it gets bad.

So yeah, I think that’s most of it!

Also side note, I may have attachment issues from the constant moving schools/houses/issues with my mum/dad leaving/crazy stepdad/i completely forgot to mention my step-brother who nearly got institutionalised in china because of schizophrenia that i didn’t see after that/constant changing schools.

Also second side note, only figure out recently and I’m probably completely wrong and I can’t remember it properly because I was so young but a kid a few years older than me might have touched me up when I was younger. It wasn’t anything serious, it just made me uncomfortable when I realise. I don’t know if I want to talk about it though because there’s a part of me that wonders if I just invented this trauma to make me feel special or some shit and YES I’m aware that’s the dumbest shit to ever think but oh well. Edit: also I feel like I have no friends/they're constantly changing. Also, childhood Moreton bullying.

#lol

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sextonsharpwinhalstead · 7 years

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SHIPS Could They? Should They? Will They?

There has been a lot of discussion (again) around ships especially since it looks like there is a shake-up among the characters; whose with who and what relationships are ending and some that might be beginning. Currently Connor’s relationship is strained due to Robin’s health; Nina is paranoid as all get out because Will is back to publicly making goo goo eyes at Natalie. Natalie and Jeff broke up, Tate and April broke up, and Vicky and Ethan are done too. And who the hell knows what’s going on with Sarah and Joey as they are trying to pull Rexton 2.0, the bootleg version, out of nowhere. Which made me wonder about all the ships; their pros and cons and what could happen or if it should and better yet will the writers ever do it….most of these I’d say no cause I just don’t believe it but it’s fun to see.

(I’ve only paired the ones that I have had people talk to me about or I know other people actively ship. Obviously the sky’s the limit here.)

Let’s start with the big 3.

Natalie Manning and Will Halstead

Ship name: Manstead

Why they work: Will genuinely cares about Natalie; he cares about her well-being and there is a protectiveness that he has for her. With that being said Natalie seems to have walked into a relationship without the effort or the pressure. She gets along with Will effortlessly and their friendship deepens because she doesn’t have to think about betraying Jeff or what it means in the big picture, the feelings she has for him snuck up on her and there is something nice about that.

Why they won’t: A lot of shippers that love Manstead forgot about his behavior in the first season towards her. It’s the classic I can’t have you so I’ll treat you like shit. She was originally written pretty tough, witty, and someone that would never take his shit but as we watched her mourn her husband in-between him gas-lighting her every other episode (Like literally after the first 3) she lost a lot of her autonomy and her toughness and it dissolved the other half of the ship. Also another easily forgotten line is that he literally told her he was in love with her but not willing to wait while she mourned her husband that hadn’t even been dead a year….yikes.

Connor Rhodes and Sarah Reese

Ship Name: Rheese

Why they Work:The show has a very had time filling in the gaps for a ton of their characters but it’s hard to believe that Sarah didn’t grow up wealthy. Her mother is a lawyer and from the sounds of it a litigator and a very successful one. She may not have multi-million dollar Dolan Rhodes money but they are by no means poor…and that’s just a maybe, Connecticut (where Sarah is from) is one of the richest states in the nation. Anyway these two would bond over feelings of inadequacy as being a doctor in the world of monetary elites is still not that impressive so they talk about what it’s like to have everything and still be neglected and disrespected. He can take her to any place and she gets it because she was raised similarly.

Why they Won’t:Canonically Connor kind of has a thing for feisty women, both Robin and Sam were assertive and he’s drawn to a woman that will put him in his place. Sarah is just now getting comfortable in her skin let alone telling someone else how theirs should fit, also Connor is a bit of a rebel ; South America for med school, Riyadh for his residency. Sarah follows the rules.

Will Halstead and Connor Rhodes

Ship name: Rhodestead

Why they Work: Canonically these two really should already be best friends, they both lost their mothers, have one other sibling, strained relationships with their fathers, and special connections with their mentors whom they both ultimately lost. We watch them go to the ends of the earth for their patients but mostly because of ego which is this ships downfall….

Why they Won’t: They are both a bit egotistical. Both want to be top dog so badly, with it unceremoniously going to Halstead, I know we are in the Church of Connor Rhodes but Halstead is actually the better doctor. He was born with the talent that Connor is learning to get. However when it comes to people and jumping through hoops to get to conclusions Halstead is constantly doing them to Connor and ending up wrong every time. The verdict here is if it ever happened it would be slower than Manstead because this is literally when social worlds collide.

Ethan Choi and Sarah Reese

Ship name: Reethan

Why they Work: Rigid rule followers with a sense of discipline, although applied in different areas, these two have a strange balance of each other. He lifts her up so she can see that she can do more and with that teaching it gives her tenacity to step into that role. (Remember that gun episode? Sarah was not letting him steamroll her). She lends a softness to him that allows him to loosen up (which is much needed).

Why they Won’t: Besides the age gap, it’s kind of clear that Ethan only sees her as a kid-sister, a private, so to speak. I could see endless fights about her trying to help with his PTSD and him lightly and not so lightly telling her to back off.

April Sexton and Sarah Reese

Ship Name: Rexton

Why they Work: This has the potential to be literally THE CUTEST same-sex coupling on the show. Both of them are not the hard partying types, they tend to be the quintessential “good girls.” Kind, easy going, and encouraging. This ship has presh written all over it. SO MUCH FLUFF.

Why they Won’t: When is the last time these two had a scene together? Yeah. Also Sarah has yet to really let her hair down, at least April does every now and then plus the inevitable fight between them about April’s sacrificial lamb-like behavior for her brother and Sarah’s indecisiveness about her future.

Connor Rhodes and April Sexton

Ship Name: SexnRhodes

Why they Work: These two, after that pilot scene, there was chatter but they went nowhere. They could’ve been cute because April would’ve actually been pampered and loved in a relationship where her partner respected her work and her drive. They also have that in common. April isn’t just a nurse; she’s a trauma nurse, who thrives under pressure, with speedy actions, thoughts, and choices. Connor is the same, even though he switched to cardio-thoracic surgery, he is still a rebel that likes the challenge and pace of quick decision making. Also can we talk about the secret fights/dirty talk they would have at work all in Spanish? That ship wrote itself but….

Why they Won’t: It’s all a little too perfect right? Yeah April would definitely take issue with the way Connor fled after his mother’s death. She literally sacrificed her ability at being a doctor to help her little brother who is less talented. Even though there are feistier parts of her personality, I think Connor would end up running over her or getting bored.

Will Halstead and April Sexton

Ship Name: Sexstead

Why they Work: Both are catholic and grew up in Chicago, these two are driven and worked their way to where they are today with little or sometimes NO encouragement from the people that were supposed to love them. Confused and or dumped/bypassed by their crushes (Severide/Natalie) they would share some kind of basic ground for it. April and Will both thrive in the ED and she is an amazing nurse to him because of her speed and accuracy and his quick, logical, and usually correct analysis and diagnosis of the patients but…

Why they Won’t: When they think they’re right…they ‘re right (remember the drunk-guy going through DT’s episode?). She has no problem going toe-to-toe with him but they are both stubborn as hell (his insistence at her taking her meds when she was pregnant, how interesting that story would’ve been if it was his baby) anyway this would still be a hard ship to sail cause Natalie’s ass would still be walking round the ED causing problems…plus her and April were /are? friends.

Ethan Choi and Connor Rhodes

Ship Name: Rhoi

Why they Work: Aww the quiet little interracial M/M ship between the two hottest male doctors on the show…(yeah I said it). This would be the curiosity ship, who are you? What do you like to do? I never knew that about you kind of relationship. Long talks/walks about the places they had traveled to and the unique cases and ways that they handled them during their times abroad.

Why they Won’t: Remember that ego thing that would tax the hell out of Rhodestead….Ethan Choi is not exempt from that either. Two alphas fighting for control when they are adamant about being right. Connor would cave, problems and fights would ensue.

Ethan Choi and April Sexton

Ship name: Chexton

Why they Work: Arguably the two best looking folks on the show (fight me) they could work because he is probably the second best doctor that works in the ED (I have made my feelings known about the first) and she is the best trauma nurse there. They’d bounce ideas off each other and then go back to the other’s place for good-looking people sex afterwards. What they would talk about…no clue.

Why they Won’t: Remember the episode when April came back after her miscarriage and she was adamant about helping that women who was a mule? Yeah, Ethan is too black and white and the violence he has seen keeps him that way. April sees shades of grey and that would be a huge problem for them, handling cases, and then arguing about them when they got home.

Ethan Choi and Natalie Manning

Ship Name: Channing

Why they Work: One word: military. I could see them laughing over stories about basic training, bad military food, pranks, and residency stories. They would bond over his quiet love of children and her obvious field of pediatrics. His insomnia would be awesome for midnight feedings for Owen while she slept.

Why they Won’t: Remember when he mansplained pregnancy and childbirth as basically not being a factor in trauma (so cringe-worthy)? Yeah he doesn’t respect Natalie’s opinions and that would END them. Also I don’t see Natalie getting together with anyone that was enlisted ever again after what happened with Jeff one and two to be honest. It’s time for her to try something new.

Natalie Manning and Connor Rhodes

Ship Name: Mannors ( I totally made this up and couldn’t stop laughing so…)

Why they Work: Barely, they are both attractive. Other than that when the show debut they couldn’t have been in more different places in their lives, she was eight months pregnant and he had been overseas treating Saudi millionaires. The danger and excitement of his world may have intrigued Natalie at first and her relative mystery at not answering his questions about her husband might have made him curious but….

Why they Won’t: For all the reasons above, not to mention they stopped writing feisty Natalie like three episodes in and we ended up with second-guessing –judgy -Mary Sue that I have so much contempt for. Connor likes decisive women that challenge him. Also Natalie seems like she has the healthiest family out of all the characters, Connor would feel like an outsider or feel a little ashamed opening up about his screwed-up family.

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youcanrantifyouwantto · 5 years

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Delino DeShields and Falling In Love With Baseball Again.

I’m always down to celebrate whatever makes you happy. Do you love playing Dungeons & Dragons or LARP on the weekends? Do. Your. Thing. Are you into trivia nights? Enjoy your Tuesdays at the bar with tipsy friends. Do you enjoy cosplay and going to conventions? Live your life! For me, it’s always been baseball. After all, what is a sports fan other than a cosplayer dressing as their favorite player?

I’ve been a fan of baseball since I can remember life. Pudge Rodriguez started it all for me, and I’ve never really looked back. A few years ago, I even thought I got to live my dream come true and write about baseball for the D-FW sports world to enjoy. As it turns out, dreams change. Here’s how that stifled my love of baseball, and how I got it back largely because of one player.

Growing up, Pudge Rodriguez was my whole life. I wanted to be a pitcher so I could throw to him. I spent days outside playing catch with my dad, acting like I knew how to play baseball. As I grew up, I was becoming more interested in other things. I still watched baseball, but my interest began to vary (read: boys), and I didn’t always have the time to invest. The summer after my senior year of high school, a player by the name of Ian Kinsler was called up to the Texas Rangers, and I was back. Say whatever you want about why I liked him, but I did like him a lot. He wore his heart on his sleeve. He’d get angry, and he’d show it. When he’d pop up or fly out, you could always tell that he was not pleased with his own performance, and I loved that. His wiggly batting stance that should never work, his little hops at second when a batter is getting ready to swing. It just brought me all back in. Yeah, he wasn’t too bad on the eyes either. Sue me. Baseball is fun and quirky and a game. It helped to never take it too seriously

Then I took baseball way too seriously. So did the people around me. I was afforded the opportunity to write about the Texas Rangers on a public, unpaid forum. It felt like the best dream come true, and for most of the time I did it, it was. Since it was an unpaid position, I was able to keep some freedom of just being a fan. If I thought Craig Gentry had a nice face, I’d say so, but then I’d write about why Joe Nathan had been almost as good as Mariano Rivera. I tried to create a place for myself where I could have fun and still be a fan, but show some analysis about the sport I love. For me, I didn’t want it to be one or the other. ¿Porqué no los dos?

Don’t get me wrong, for the majority of the time I was writing, I loved it. I was able to meet a good set of people through the online sports world. The Dallas-Fort Worth sports community is really something special, and being able to live my life in it was a whirlwind at times. Events were frequent and usually so much fun, and I once embarrassed myself in front of Mark Followill by being way too excited to meet him. I was able to interview Don Welke, an MLB scout, for a podcast that was definitely my favorite part of the whole experience. The podcast, Girls of Summer, was a product of which I couldn’t be more proud. Creating something like that with another woman in sports was something I will never forget. Plus, my partner, Sarah, is a brilliant person who I am lucky to know.

However, I loved it until I didn’t. If you’ve followed me through my baseball experience, maybe you remember the “emotion is for women” debacle. Perhaps the first red flag, but it wasn’t enough to make me quit, even though I thought heavily about it. The website I was working for had a video podcast or discussion they’d do from time to time. Honestly, it was a really neat way to get writers together to talk through ideas and throw fun little arguments around, and I enjoyed doing them. During one episode, two of the men were discussing Mitch Moreland. His stats with the Texas Rangers were brought up to prove he had not been good so far. One of the men simply said he knew that, but he really liked watching Moreland play and wanted him to stay with the Rangers so he could root for him to be better. He truly just wanted this player to get better. Then a phrase was said that made my face hot. “Come on, man. That’s emotion. Emotion is for women.”

Maybe it’s just a joke. Maybe it seems harmless, but as a woman who was trying to change the way women are viewed especially in the world he was representing, it definitely didn’t sit well with me. Another man very clearly stated he had an emotional attachment to a player just because he did, and the response was that only women like players like that. Very heavily implied that women only like players for that reason.

Here are some basic problems with that statement, but I will reserve full discussion because that’s a whole separate conversation: 1. A man just admitted his emotional attachment, so already you are wrong. 2. Women have emotions, but men also have them. Men like to set things on fire when their sports team loses, but oftentimes we ignore anger in men as an emotion. 3. The website you represent has female staff members, and you used sexist language without apology or thought.

When I say “without apology,” I truly mean it. What happened after I called him out about it proved to me that women still have a long way to go in male-dominated spaces. It was abundantly clear that the only person who professionally had my back was me. The owner told me that I shouldn’t have publicly said anything about it and reprimanded me for starting an argument by tweeting how he shouldn’t have said it. And that was basically all he had to say. In all fairness, we were supposed to be on the same team, so I apologized for so publicly calling him out instead of coming to him first, but still not for actually calling him out. I asked that he address it, and he told me that I was proving his point by being so angry about the whole thing. Neither one ever publicly or privately apologized to me for the issue, and while it might seem like a small thing to some people, it felt alienating to me.

Eventually I let it go. The relationships between us definitely weren’t the same, but I continued writing for them because I loved baseball, and I love writing. Most other aspects were positive about the job, and I didn’t want them to get rid of me that easily. Although it never felt quite right after that moment.

It was a constant battle of why I liked Ian Kinsler so much, justified by all his stats because I couldn’t just like him because I did. Kinsler is a good baseball player, though, so I was happy to rattle off all his numbers and analyze his career. It was a constant battle of letting me be a fan and high-five players at appearances. Letting me appriciate the experience and get excited when I get to meet players, and how that somehow made me less of a writer. It was a constant battle of me making a very online social media joke about a player’s likeability, and people assuming I thought that player was good or better than everyone else. Trust me, I know Robbie Ross isn’t the best pitcher, but I want him to be because I like him as a person. Let me live my life.

Keep in mind this whole time I wasn’t getting paid, but none of my articles ever had anything to do with a player’s likeability or their face, for that matter. I kept my articles professional with a hint of funny and baseball wonder. It wasn’t until close to the end that I started feeling very unwelcome.

The website changed owners several times after the first year I wrote. Each one was seemingly worse than the last, and much of the structure got lost in the shuffle. There was one, in particular, who was not a fan of mine. To my face he was fine, but he thought I was too much of a fan-girl and couldn’t be taken seriously. In the interest of fairness, I am a fan-girl, but this wasn’t a real job. It was a hobby. A hobby I loved and wouldn’t be mad if it turned into a real job, but still a hobby.

There were new staff members, and people who took baseball way too seriously started popping up all over the sports community. Everything was persistently about which analytic was better and why each player was good or bad based on whatever obscure stat. I started to notice how everyone became exceedingly judgmental of everything and everyone. Baseball is truly unpredictable, but everyone kept insisting they were right. Who could talk louder? Who could laugh at someone else to make them feel dumb? The arrogance was suffocating. I enjoy analyzing players, but it’s nowhere near an exact science. People would scoff at the idea of a human element like each player was just a robot with consistent results with no life outside of the GAME they got to play for a living. If you weren’t always talking numbers, you weren’t good enough. If you didn’t listen to only this one radio station, you weren’t good enough. No one came out and said it, but the atmosphere had been created, not just for my website, but the whole sports world around me.

It wasn’t always that way, but on days when everyone was trying to talk over each other, it became exhausting. I lost most of my desire to write over this time. Taking on new positions at the job that actually paid me, and the pressures of keeping up appearances at the one that didn’t made me decide that I needed to stop. It was too draining to listen to men insist they were right at every turn without ever knowing if they were actually right. Too tedious to keep up with every opinion I was supposed to have. So I walked away.

I am in no way trying to say that I handled everything perfectly. I was young and stupid and abrasive at times. I made so many mistakes and did things the wrong way when trying to stand up for myself, but I needed my team around me to be supportive and constructive and a lot of the time, they weren’t. I could’ve done more to insert myself into the space or create my own lane, but I chose not to. I could’ve practiced more kindness and chose different words when I became defensive, but I didn’t. I don’t look back on any of it as a unfortunate experience, rather just something I tried to do but couldn’t quite figure out how to make it mine.

I’ve spent the last few years distancing myself. Mostly trying to find my way back to the comforts of baseball the way I once knew it. Game after game, I’d find players I wanted to root for, and I tried to go through the motions. Part of me still wanted to dive into the stats, but nothing ever really clicked the same way it had in the past. My favorite player had been traded from my favorite team, I’d stopped being so involved in the world I had once so desperately wanted to be in, and I started to feel left behind. Did I quit too soon? Should I have fought harder? Should I have just unapologetically created my own place? How did this fit into my life anymore?

Delino DeShields started playing for the Texas Rangers, and I took notice. I loved the energy he had as a young guy trying to make it. His speed was a great and unique asset, and made watching him a fun experience, whether it was a stolen base, a single stretched into a double, or a ball into the outfield he had to sprint to catch. He was an underdog, too. Not a minor league superstar everyone had been looking at for years, but I was pulling for him to be successful anyway. It started to remind me that everything in baseball doesn’t have to be so serious. Let them play.

I recently went to the Texas Rangers Fan Fest and had a moment of clarity. I love this sport. I love the superstars, but I love the underdogs, too. I love getting to know a team that I can root for professionally and personally. I’ve always enjoyed meeting players (and musicians) to be able to thank them for the small role they play in bringing joy to my life. I’m 31 years old, and it still makes me feel like that little kid looking at her heroes. I get nervous. I forget they’re just people trying to do their best, but I’m sure on some level, they still enjoy the fact that someone is rooting for them. I can’t speak for them, but I would hope it makes players happy to see fans invested in them.

Then I met Delino DeShields. I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t think it was going to happen, so I didn’t have time to think about it. I was a complete mess. I shakily told him how happy I was for the opportunity to say hi. I explained through watery eyes that he was currently my favorite player to watch, and I’m thankful they (and he) let us interact. I word vomitted all over because my brain was working too quickly, and my mouth couldn’t keep up. I apologized for being a mess, thanked him too many times to count, and asked for a high-five as I always do. After all of that, he still smiled and thanked me multiple times for coming out. He laughed at me while I laughed at myself because we could both tell I was struggling to remember how to be a person. Later on he gave me an unprompted hug and thanked me again. He didn’t have to do anything, because he owes me nothing, but those small gestures solidified his place as my favorite. The loveable, underdog who I just want to succeed no matter what any stat could possibly tell me. It snapped me back. This is why I started.

I’m not saying the sport should never be analyzed. I always want the best version of the team I’m rooting for to take the field. I understand why it needs to be discussed, but I don’t personally put the team together. That has never been nor ever will be my job. I still want certain guys to succeed so they can earn that place on the field. Delino became my favorite because I want to see him win. He became a favorite because guys like him deserve it. He became a favorite because he resonated with me. It’s fun to root for people you like.

I’m unbelievably fortunate to experience baseball during the Mike Trout era. I’m lucky that I’ve gotten to see guys like Pudge, Josh Hamilton, Clayton Kershaw, and Adrián Beltré play incredible careers. Believe me, I’m always in awe of high-caliber talet—the ones who step on the field, and everyone knows who they are and exactly what they can do. It’s great to watch, but I’m also lucky to see the guys who fight and work and claw their way up to the Majors. The ones who are young guys with potential they just haven’t figured out yet. The ones who have spent years in the Minors just for their one shot, even if it is just one game like Guilder Rodriguez. It’s equally as fun for me to be invested in them. When they succeed, it makes the moment that much sweeter. I’m always rooting for them.

The whole experience reminded me why I love baseball. These players work hard their whole lives for one shot to play the game for a living. No matter what stats predict what play, they’re just trying to put their best effort out there, and maybe inspire the community around them to do some good. A sports community can be a positive thing for a city or metro area. It brings people together, it provides an escape, and it gives everyone common ground. If these players weren’t personable or ethical or hardworking or sometimes underdogs, I suspect it would just become boring and unrelatable. I like my baseball with rules and emotion. I like my baseball with exact stats and unpredictability. I like my baseball weird and exciting. I like my baseball with big homeruns and little ground balls with eyes. I like my baseball loud and quiet. I like baseball.

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