#but yeah it's fucking exhausting

[loverboybreakdowns]

just. ugh. youll say “i am experiencing something that is a literal textbook symptom of the disorder i have” and nts will tell you youre making it up and its obviously not a real thing

#‘being anxious about school isnt a symptom of gad’ oh sure yeah not like its. yknow. LITERALLY LISTED AS A SYMPTOM IN THE DSM-5 #living with nts is just. so fucking exhausting #you mention anything they havent personally experienced and they think its somehow impossible #actually autistic #autism #autistic #neurodivergent #adhd #actually neurodivergent #autism/adhd #actuallyautistic #actually adhd #neurodivergence #generalized anxiety disorder

[starry-bi-sky]

I'm so annoyed. @kingcrow01 tumblr ate your ask about Danny's opinion on the League. tumblr i pressed 'save draft' why didn't you sAVE DRAFT.

ANyways I'm making a post instead. For everyone else, the ask was in summary:

What was Danny's opinion on the League now that he's left it? If he missed the familiarity of it, if he recognized the cult-like behavior inside it, and if he now detested his grandfather.

And to answer (again, grrr): It's complicated! We love complicated <3. Yeah, Danny does miss the familiarity of the League, it was still his home for the first ten years of his life and he has a lot of memories there. Plenty of good along with the bad, and while he's less homesick than he was when he was 10, it still hits him like a truck at random intervals.

Sam, Tucker, and Jazz are great, and he likes the Drs. Fentons enough that he's contemplated murdering Vlad for his meddling, but if he wants to eat the same food his mother used to make him and Damian, he has to do it himself and he can't get the taste right. No one knows arabic so he speaks it to himself because he doesn't want to forget his mother tongue, and he has a few books too. Frankly? He genuinely misses training.

Getting to use Sam's gym helps with his restlessness, same with training with Maddie, but he has no one on or above his level to go against other than his mother. And he only sees her twice a year at most. He knows that he's getting stagnant and he fucking despises it like a bad itch he can't scratch.

He feels conflicted about missing the League, however, since by now he recognizes the flaws and what was wrong with it, and he recognizes that it was cult-like. But even that is kinda, hrm, complicated? If this was a fic I would be able to go better into depth about what he has and hasn't unlearned because cult deprogramming is hard and Danny's doing most of this on his own.

Sam, Tucker, and Jazz have helped with the more obvious stuff: like the ecofascism, the disregard for human life, his emotional constipation; the more obvious stuff that shows in his behavior and personality. But none of them are professionals nor do they actually know the full extent of what Danny's life in the League was like. They only have snapshots since Danyal is very tight lipped about it. So they can only help with what they see themselves through Danny's behavior or word of mouth.

But in summary: He sees, for the most part, what's wrong with the League and disagrees with some of the stuff they do now. But he's very conflicted, and trying to dissect his feelings on the League confuses him. His protests about it whenever Sam and Tucker joke about it have at this point become mostly empty (altho it still causes him some discomfort), and its an inside joke between them three.

As for Ra's? Despises him. If only because Ra's wanted him to kill his little brother -- thinking about his motives with the League confuses Danny, cognitive dissonance and stuff, -- a lot of his hatred stems from "He wanted me to fight my baby brother to the death. I destroyed my relationship with Damian because of him, I had to fake my death and leave my home, and I will never meet my father or see my brother again because of him. Fuck that guy."

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc crossover #dpdc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #danyal al ghul au #starry asks #demon siblings au #danny's opinions on the league is rather complicated but he knows that some of the stuff that happened inside was wrong. and while he's #always known that his upbringing wasn't normal -- and he took pride in that -- its only in recent years that he's learned that #this was a *bad* thing. that his upbringing was wrong. he's still kinda grappling with that. #danny's homesickness hits the worst when he's patching himself up from a ghost fight alone. stitching up his throat in his ghost form when #he gets hit with a deep child-like grief and the unwitting 'i wanna go home'. he's exhausted and sad and hurting and fucking *tired* #good mom talia al ghul supremacy. she's trying her best. #but yeah sam and tucker did a lot of good for Danny by becoming his friend. he's a lot better off than he would've been if he remained alon #'a child not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth' type of stuff. danny's aware of this and is incredibly grateful #for sam and tucker. and as a result can and will get violently protective. his moral code on killing can be summed up as: i dont kill bc i #value human life and it's inconvenient. but i will do it without remorse if i must. #vlad is only still alive because he's incompetent. but the ice is thin #catch me about to make an incorrect quotes post about this au. i am so close.

[hella1975]

it's been pointed out on here before that a lot of terf arguments are actually rooted in sexist idealology that feminists fought and died to unnormalise decades ago and that's its own kettle of fish but one thing i also find very frustrating about this so called 'radical' feminism is that it's so... defeatist? like the moment you categorically label an entire section of society as Bad and Inherently Evil then there's also the implication that nothing can be done about it, and it completely takes all accountability away. saying all men are evil is just another way of saying boys will be boys. he raped her because he's a man. he hit her because he's a man. he didn't listen because he's a man - it's almost offensively oversimplified. there's no point trying to fix this issue in society because men are just Like That, okay! so now what? it's not like they're going anywhere, so you just accept that 50% of the population are evil and will forever treat you terribly and there's nothing to be done about it bc they're biologically predisposed to it? like is that fr the argument here? you're soooo radical for that

#this is coming from someone who used to very genuinely be a misandrist #ironically it was only when i started actually analysing my own feminism that i got MORE confrontational with men #and started respecting my boundaries a lot better BECAUSE i started holding them accountable again #like when men treat me like shit nowadays i dont just write it off as 'what did you expect? he's a man' i get MAD about it #because i EXPECT BETTER FROM THEM even if it's just tiny shit women have to deal with daily #i hold them to just as high a standard as im held to and i make them take accountability when they dont meet that #and whether you realise it or not even on a subconscious level the MOMENT you black-and-white blanket statement all men as bad #you stop holding them accountable. #like it is literally just boys will be boys. do terfs seriously not realise they're sending feminism BACKWARDS #like if a girl came to me with her trauma and people - other girls no less - tried to comfort her with 'yeah all men are evil' #id be fucking furious. like no he did that because he was a piece of shit that had it normalised to him that women arent to be respected #dont you dare let him off the hook with something as simple and uncritical as 'he's a man' #i promise you men like that will MUCH prefer a blanket statement such as 'all men are as bad as each other' #than actually being point blank told they're an abuser or a rapist. because being lumped together is comfortable and even empowering #wheras isolating their behaviour with words that are Bad and Ugly (LIKE 'rapist') is not comfortable at all and has heavy connotations #idk i dont think radical feminism is always bad on its own it can be v liberating. just terfs and misandrists that i have a problem with #dropping this post in a piranha tank and closing tumblr knowing im gonna have some thirty year old karen yelling at me within 5 mins #i probably wont respond to any terf comments bc they literally mentally exhaust me with their stupidity #but that also depends on my mood and ability to keep my mouth shut LMFAO we shall see

[justastrugglinghotchocolate]

So like a year ago, I made a post asking why Dorian confessed to murdering Basil in the 1891 edition of the book, but not the 1890. For the last few months, while working on tlg and the comic, I’ve on and off again worked on a small animatic for the ending of TPODG. Because of this I’ve had to reread the ending conversation with Henry again and again. And a thought occurred to me:

Is Dorian’s ‘desire to be good’ actually an attempt to stop being objectified?

Dorian’s ‘desire to be good’ is obviously horseshit, even to himself, but why does he do it? "To feel something new" is a lazy explanation especially when the book literally says that “[h]e felt a wild longing for the unstained purity of his boyhood”. He doesn’t want something new, he wants what he had before. But it’s not the innocence of his youth, nor something material he desires—it’s the way people treated him before Henry and Basil.

The thing that always stood out to me was this exchange (occuring after Dorian’s confession): 

“There is someone at White’s who wants immensely to know you—young Lord Poole, Bournemouth’s eldest son. He has already copied your neckties, and has begged me to introduce him to you. He is quite delightful and rather reminds me of you.”

“I hope not,” said Dorian with a sad look in his eyes.”

While many modern adaptations either forget this line or give a charitable reading, to me it reads as though Dorian realizes he’s replaceable. Even though he has a magic portrait and eternal youth, he still is a dying relic of a changing world. He will never be anything more than the innocent, youthful doll society and Henry treated him as.

His confession, to Henry of all people, was a final plea to be seen as more than the dumb youth, as an innocent angel—he is begging Henry to look at him and see that Dorian Gray is a person. That he feels more than youth, or beauty, or idolatry. That he is capable of great violence and even greater crime, like any other man and through that can be capable of evolving with the time like any other. He doesn't want to live as a passing fancy of perverts and naive young people.

But Henry breaks all of that in one simple line:

“You and I are what we are, and will be what we will be.”

But, Lord Henry was never going to see Dorian as a real person. Because Henry himself isn’t real. ‘Lord Henry’ is a role he plays, one that consumed him far before the first chapter. In many ways, his cynical philosophy is his own defective portrait. He hides any semblance of a person in his role of ‘cynical hedonist’ and denies any change. He too is a dying relic of a changing world.

When Henry denies his attempt to change, Dorian seeks Basil’s portrait of him. I think it's quite telling that even after he murder him, Dorian seeks implicit comfort from the man who had idolized his rose-white purity. Basil was the only relationship that was closest to what he had before. But the sad truth is laid bare:

No one ever saw Dorian Gray as a real person. 

He was always a role being played. 

And he dies tragically discarded.

#this is only a theory and opinion piece. #it is something I've thought about for a while #I hope I get across what I'm trying to #this is def 70% analysis #30% exhausted brain #dorian gray is a tragedy first and foremost #i discovered this when I read hamlet at the same time as this book #uhhh yeah gimme your thoughts if you want #the picture of dorian gray #tpodg #dorian gray #basil hallward #henry wotton #analysis #essay #unironically essays are so fun when you enjoy the material #choco drops an essay and won't reply for seven fucking days #long post

[crabussy]

I LOVE AND APPRECIATE MY FRIENDS WITH NPD 👊👊👊👊👊👊💥💥💥 OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#npd #narcassistic personality disorder #one of my best friends has npd and he gets SO MUCH SHIT CONSTANTLY #I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be #yeah. it’s one of the coolest guys I know and I hate how much misinformation narcissism is subject to #I'd recommend researching the disorder and asking your npd loved ones how you can help them manage their disorder!! #god warning it is so hard to find information on npd that isn’t ‘my EVIL narcissist friend and how I isolated and hurt them #as punishment for their disorder!!’ #Id suggest asking people who have npd about their experiences #seriously. god I believed the stigma before I got a friend with npd and it’s so so wrong #yeah. unfollow me right fucking now if you believe that narcassists are inherently abusive and evil and unable to have good relationships #STOP DEMONISING DISORDERS

[mamawasatesttube]

everyone who prompted "can you hear me?" from that list last night. well there's good news and bad news. the good news is i had a banger idea for what to do with it! the bad news is that it's definitely not gonna fit in a ficlet AND im out of town for the next couple days and probably won't have time to write so i Really hope i retain the "oh shit this is a banger idea" juice 😩😩😩

#it's cass & kon primarily. tim is also there. (he's there to be a damsel in distress) (like. in a competent way. but you know) #and the coda is just tim vc cass Please quit flirting with my kon. cass vc make me. tim vc (exhausted) you Know i can't. cass >:3c yeah #but first its about kon and cass getting to be Scary together :) <3 #need to brainstorm a bit on it. but also im in a car and i get so fucking motion sick so fast augh #points at my friends. one of you is going to become the soundboard for this. be aware #rimi talks

[skunkes]

ok posting it here bc im not sure if its going to stay in the doodle page

#delete later #deleting soon bc eyes on me #for those of you who kept asking about Something last year LOLLL #sorry this is too entry level vent comic ykwim i jst needed to get it out #im over it in the sense that like ok yeah whatever #but not in the sense that i came out worse than before. i was already Small. ive been further Smallened #i was a rebound and lied to and discarded...which thank god i was Set Free but wow! #all my personal fears reinforced. it is embarrassing for me to want and need...i get it neow. i was a stepping stone i am an npc #idk that i could do it again! im not sure its worth trying i am too much of a...project. #as i was told from day 1 but still ran directly into it #and i was too much of a coward to leave myself. if it happened again i wouldnt be able to leave then either. #im happy that i dont think it could get much worse than all that for my first experience but it was also exhausting #and weirdly at the same time i dont think i cld ever expect better #its almost been a year since its been Done and the words and treatment linger <3 #this is also why i had to enlist talon as imaginary bf number 2 LOL need extra reinforcement and love #cringe as fuck but it rly will never be as good as whats in my brain...i know that neow. i will spare everyone the trouble #and remove myself from the dating pool (<- implying he was ever even in it) #i dont even hold any ill will toward em bc they were right...its just hurts ykwim

[godblooded]

just an fyi, and it feels like it needs to be said here: your blog is your own space and you should be able to say whatever the fuck you want. if you’re sad? vent. get sad. maybe put it under a cut, definitely tag it, but get sad. if you feel like you need someone to talk to? drop a freaking message about how you’re feeling like you could use a buddy, or anything randomly engaging. if you’re having a hard time, you should feel safe and okay to talk about it in your own space. we’re writers and we’re people and while there’s a lot to be said for how engagement outside of oneself is necessary in rp (and really really needs to improve), i think there’s a lot that must be said about people reaching out to others. it’s become so solitary here — the whole ‘reblog from source’ thing when it comes to shit like about and musings is absurd. the whole refusing to like things is ridiculous. yes, curate your space, that’s important, but curating your space into a studio apartment only you live in doesn’t make this a community anymore, it makes it a studio apartment you live in.

just be yourself here. do whatever you want. but i’m always saying: remember you’re not alone, and don’t let yourself feel that way.

#ooc. o kaptain. #[this is illogically worded and after an argument I’m already upset but I just felt like this has to be put here. it’s been sitting on my #brain for so long and it’s something i just wanted to discuss. the way the rpc has become not even an echo chamber just… a shitty ny #apartment only one person lives in that can fit your fridge and your bedroom in the same room. the way literal fandoms have divided each #other through nothing but massive senses of entitlement and so much gatekeepy fucking language. it’s exhausting to watch this happen #literally all because i have no idea where interaction went and yes I’ve been virtually inactive for months now but. it absolutely isn’t for #lack of trying to come back. it’s hugely due to a lack of interaction whenever I reach out and then the feeling like I’m being either #entertained or dismissed. this is a social space and we’re people and everybody just needs to recognize that. like. last week my introverted #broski started discussing how as he’s older he feels loneliness more tangibly but he hates people and i looked right at him and said …yeah #dude. that’s natural. we’re humans. we need each other to live. we need spaces we create and communities we make. but like. there need to be #interactive people in those spaces. we’re social creatures. i love you guys and this is a ramble but… it’s been on my mind awhile. and #frankly? feels kinda good to finally speak my mind.]

[devilfic]

you know that scene where joel is torturing ellie’s kidnappers to find out where she is while the one guy in the back is begging for mercy and joel does a little smirk and says “you’re next” before stabbing the other one in the knee? that scene? yeah it’s gonna keep me up all night

#MANS IS ON PENCILLIN RAGE AND A DREAM AND YOU FUCKED AROUND AND FOUND OUT #like yeah he’s stumbling all over the place. he’s exhausted and hungry and fighting infection and he’s also gonna enjoy every second of this #also ellie breaking that creep’s fingers for trying to touch her ooooooo. oooooooh ellie miller you are the only 14 year old ever #the last of us 1x08 #hbo the last of us #the last of us spoilers #tlou spoilers #joel miller #mjspeaks #tlou

[darubyprincx]

ok give me like two hours to write a oneshot about lag-induced chronic pain and its effects on players (specifically in minecraft)

#ray's tag #'ray how do you have such a good idea of what lag feels like' you see. In our headspace when our brain is going a billion miles an hour #i have to focus up here to move around and talk and things #so when our brain is going haywire i am sometimes physically unable to focus #and it affects my physical state pretty heavily. it manifests as me basically glitching the fuck out #it is NOT fun it is EXTREMELY exhausting and VERY painful. and also from what my headmates have told me pretty scary to watch. #so yeah lets just say that i have experience with this sort of thing #also i played mcpe on a kindle fire for almost ten years and my internet connection was TERRIBLE #rip my ping when i tried to play mineplex

[keymintt]

HELLO you teach elementary schoolers how to draw dragons?? 👀 that is the DREAM I used to teach my friends how to draw dragons during lunch in high school heheh

oh that is SO much fun HELL yes >:D

and yeah! i'm a part-time art teacher and as part of a program i'm in i go around to elementary schools and teach art workshops!! in the fall i taught them the basics of making comics and now that it's spring i'm teaching them how to draw dragons, somedays i wear my dragon button-up shirt and dragons socks too and it fucking rocks i feel like ms. frizzles cousin who's also gay

#lylahammar #asks #thank you for sending in the ask!! i hope you've been well!!!!! #taught three classes today actually. it's a lot of fun and the kids are always excited to see me bc #there's a certain sort of magic to being the cool adult that comes in to interrupt math time to draw comics or dragons instead #does get exhausting though having to talk over excited children dghlkghdf #and you know my ass is masked the fuck up. you kiddos are fun but i've seen how you cough. i mean i wear my mask in general so #but yeah! i'm on my second and final year of the program it's been great hehe #i'll still be teaching kids how to draw dragons n whatnot after that tho. i also teach at public art centers n stuff #i don't ever talk abt my teaching shit despite doing it for two and a half years at this point it just never comes up hdsglkfd

[wetcatspellcaster]

↑↑ Live action footage of me, lying in my bed and trying to sleep after drafting A Big Scene and Having A Plot Revelation

#the emotion i am trying to express is not necessarily sadness so much as fear and shell-shocked exhaustion :))))))) #i jumpscared myself with a jumpscare i fucking wrote. then fixed a plothole i didnt know existed. then had to draft a big speech #anyway yeah #my writing #wip: pieces still stuck in your teeth #love fic. what a hobby i choose to do for fun and relaxation. #remember when I wrote a fake dating AU? good times. :')

[recklessmoss]

i'm so unironically baffled at the amount of downgrades this site pushes out on a nearly weekly basis at this point. Near half if not all of them are almost completely useless and give absolutely zero benefit to user experience, if anything @staff is quite literally distancing their userbase.... do you think i want another twitter? Like what purpose or benefit does taking away dash avatars has... what's the benefit of taking away basic accessibility features.. fucking genuinely. I hate it here. I don't know how many more feedback letters I have to send in order for all this shit to stop... i'm so tired.

#i'm so tired. like genuinely. #i'm so very tired how as an artist who also relies partially on a FUNCTIONAL social media is being forced into a fucking corner like this #where the site is broken in every sense imaginable. and you have no intention to fix it. other than making it worse. #I've seen 12 year olds with java codes do a better job than this site #and u think i'm rambling nonsense bc i'm angry and yeah. i kinda am but then again i'm fuckign exhausted. and every day I have less desire #to spend even more than a second on this site #sorry! #anyways tldr. i hate it here. #please for the love of god stop giving this site money. in anyway. #i get u want the funny checkmarks but this staff doesnt deserve your pennies in any shape.

[dootznbootz]

#It works for many aspects of their lives😌 #Oath of Tyndarius Agamemnon: “I'm just here to help my brother.😌” #Oath Odysseus: “FUCK YEAH!! I wasn't even planning to get married and I STILL got a fucking cool wife!!!😍” #Oath Menelaus: “My wife is so pretty and I love her so much. I'm so happy.🥰" #During the war? #Agamemnon: Dead inside. Exhausted. trying to keep shit under control. so so sad #Odysseus: part of the reason shit is out of control. Feral. Down for every single war crime as he misses his family. #Menelaus: so exhausted and sad but trying to act like everything is alright. (You will see a man barely holding it together) #Yay! :D #odysseus #menelaus #agamemnon #greek mythology #tagamemnon #iliad #greek mythology memes #the odyssey #the iliad #odyssey #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus

[socialbunny]

Sure, Brandi’s life isn’t going in the direction she thought it would; she’s a highschool dropout, her husband left her right after her second pregnancy, her oldest son is doing everything in his power to fuck up his and her life, she recently lost her house and had to grovel to stay at her parents place, and her ex-husband just moved back into town, rubbing his carefree life in her face. Sure, her life isn’t going how she wanted, but it could be worse…. she could be pregnant!

Betty never approved of Brandi’s more extravenous life choices, and that included everything with Skip Broke. With her daughter recently losing her home and having to move back in with her children, can Betty bite her tongue and try to be understanding like her husband?

#ts2 #brandi broke #dustin broke #betty newbie #bob newbie #beau broke #and their shitty ass little dog too :) #pvrdx #Betty and her mommy issues #Brandi and Her mommy issues #Dustin and HIS mommy issues #Beau and his grandpa throwing football in the yard fuck yeah #teen mom brandi you live in my heart.:( #sims 2 childrens short little fingers is so funny to me right now #hi im posting this but i exhausted myself from doingthis which means the portrait of cass i did is goin to lay rot even tho she is so finee

[godblooded]

so i’m pretty tired of feeling like i’m just supposed to take this and let it go because everyone’s busy but like. if i write you a meme reply here or on @clawsextended i’m asking you to at least like it so i know you saw it.

i don’t care if you want to continue it or not. i’d always prefer to, but i never expect it. it’s not out of the realm of politeness just to ask someone acknowledges that i wrote them something.

#ooc. o kaptain. #[like. when i drop someone like five paragraphs i was excited about and never get a response nor a like… well it feels a little bit like i #have no reason to be here. ‘Kat do things for yourself!’ yeah man i get it but shut the fuck up because rp is collaborative. like. at least #ACKNOWLEDGE that you saw it. otherwise?? seriously if somebody does this to me repeatedly im not answering shit for them. I’ve been here too #long and im genuinely exhausted of being taken for granted because apparently decorum no longer exists and there are no rules to #communication anymore. it’s absolutely absurd and im done with doing this ‘maybe im being too sensitive’. no. maybe i spent time caring #about something to do for someone else and it’s repeatedly forgotten.] #negativity / #[just fucking communicate.]