#c: tori vega

[hydesjackiespuddinpop]

Full Name: Carly Lisa Shay

Nicknames: My Sister (by Spencer), Carls, Cupcake, Carly Girl, Mrs.Benson (by Sam), My Best Friend (by Sam and Freddie), My Girl, Frisky, Life Alert (by Freddie), Little Baby, Kiddo, My Sweet Carly, Girl, (by Spencer), Stupid American Girl (by Wade Collins), Dumbo, Dummy (by Mrs. Benson), Aunty Carly (by Charlie and Julie)

Gender: Female

Birthday: July 24, 1994

Age: 29

Occupation: Host of iCarly/YouTuber, Student at Ridgeway Junior High School (formerly, graduated), Employee at The Groovy Smoothie (formerly), Employee at the 32 Flavors Ice Cream Shop (formerly)

Education: Ridgeway Junior High School (graduated)

Residence: Apartment 8-E, Bushwell Plaza (currently), Apartment 8-C, Bushwell Plaza (formerly), Italy (formerly)

Hair Color: Dark brown, Brown with blonde highlights (revival season 1 & 2), Dark Brown (revival season 3)

Eye Color: Brown

Family: Colonel Steven Shay (father), Mrs. Shay (mother), Spencer Shay (older brother), Granddad Shay (grandfather), Gramma Shay (grandmother), Great Grammy Shay (great-grandmother), Barry Dorfman (uncle), Tess Dorfman (aunt), Faye Dorfman (cousin), Ozlottis Dorfman (cousin), Margaret (aunt), Sunny Johnson (11th cousin), Potter Shay (niece), Julia Puckett (honorary niece), Charlie Shay (niece), nine other nieces and nephews

Friends: Harper Bettencourt (best friend; roommate). Freddie Benson (best friend), Tori Vega (close friend, future girlfriend), Millicent Mitchell, Sam Puckett (best friend), Principal Franklin, Sunny Johnson (11th cousin), Gibby Gibson, T-Bo, Melanie Puckett, Wendy, Shelby Marx, Missy Robinson (formerly), Claire, Toji, Gwen, Paul Denham, Lewbert Sline, Tinsley

Romances: Tori Vega (crush, has feelings for), Sam Puckett (kissed one, bi awakening), Freddie Benson (Ex Boyfriend), Ben Huebscher (first kiss), Jake (former crush), Gibby Gibson (one date), Shane (dated), Nevel Papperman (alternative reality boyfriend), Griffin (ex-boyfriend), Austin (one date), Adam (former crush), Steven Carson (ex-boyfriend), Kyle (ex-boyfriend), Cort (former crush), Lance (one date), Gary Wolf (former crush), Luke Tyler (one date), Justin (dated), Trenton (one date), Beau (ex-boyfriend), Wes (ex-boyfriend), Troy (dated)

Pets: Cookie (former bunny), Shelly (former baby chick), Huevo (former baby chick), Omelet (former baby chick), Benedict (former baby chick), Yoko (former baby chick), Poachy (former baby chick), Sparky (former dog)

Enemies: Nevel Papperman, Tasha, Valerie, Ms. Briggs, Mr. Devlin, Jonah, Amber Tate, Zeebo, Ms. Ackerman, Kyoko and Yuki, Wade Collins, Missy Robinson, Chuck Chambers, Chip Chambers, Mr. Howard, The Petographers, Nora Dershlit, Mr. and Mrs. Dershlit, Penny Tee Employees, Steven Carson, Aspartamay, Ashley, Dana Bukowski, Mandy Valdez, Griffin, Beau, Wes, Argentina Woolridge, Pearl Wallace, Prunella Pitz-Papperman, Emily Haines, Myrtle, Her mother

First Appearance: iPilot (OG), iStart Over (Revival)

Last Appearance: iGoodbye (OG), TBD

#icarly reboot wikis #carly shay

[pussyandpetrichor]

Had a dream last night where I went to pride with my girlfriend (Tori Vega from hit Nicklodeon tv show, Victorious) but when I got there I was sidelined by every main character from her school trying to get my opinion on a product that they had "invented" that was invariably disgusting and fucking bizarre, like a peptobismal flavored alcoholic energy drink that was only sold by the bucket.

I then found out that it was because their marketing professor had told them they needed to get an endorsement from the LGBT+ community as part of the assignment and Tori, forgetting that since she was dating a girl she was a member of the LGBT+ community, outed me as trans to all her friends and promised I'd give them endorsements without telling me this was going to happen.

I then had to explain to her that a) she was in fact queer b) she should have told me I was going to be bombarded with sales pitches and c) that I didn't appreciate being outed to a bunch of cis people I hadn't actually met yet.

We then smoked some weed

#koko speaks #dream journal

[multitudecontainer420]

edge of glory , call yr girlfriend

so hot ur hurting my feelings, wuthering heights, suspended in gaffa, dont stop me now

thunder road, american teenager, elo twilight, modern love, hounds of love, like a rolling stone, the circle game, david bowie starman life on mars, wig in a box, billy joel the stranger, marina, crj, tmbg its not my birthday, tom waits, green day, whats my age again, go sailor, strawberry switchblade, judy & mary, help im alive, a better son/daughter, maa okay, aishi aisarete ikiru no sa, leonard cohen, tell me ur that somebody, talking heads, the neverending story, i am a cat, fiona apple, beach boys, charli, kylie, tmg, total eclipse of the heart, pat benatar, cyndi, jump for my love, wake me up before you go go, i would die 4 u, africa, bizarre love triangle, just like heaven, friday im in love, footloose, 9 to 5, gokinjo monogatari op, stevie wonder, jolene, garden song, rainbow connection, i dont want to live on the moon, under pressure, ajj rejoice, invisible touch, shes so high, kiss me, as i lay me down, hungry eyes, lovefool, everything u know is wrong, enya, sunday morning, belle & sebastian, c is the heavenly option, talulah gosh, how come ur a hit with the boys jane, fast boyfriends, mummy the peepshow, the raincoats, kleenex/liliput, heaven is a place on earth, lets kill grandma, nicole dollanganger, build me up buttercup, molly drake, vashti, duncan browne, kt spit, deep time clouds, seasons come seasons go, linda linda, dressy bessy, they dont know, sign of the times, voyage voyage, 500 miles, of montreal, lili marleen, margo guryan, you cant hurry love, the barrel, judee, pram, the chicks, hier ou demain, nena, klaus nomi, nina hagen, paul simon, dar, mitski, fast car, puffy, joan armatrading, suzanne vega, the ruling class, tori, tomoyo harada くちなしの丘, shiina ringo, jun togawa, seagull screaming, ua milk tea, chocolat, heaco, halé?, i think were alone now, speena, hiromix, miho asahi, makoto kawamoto, harco, kyoko togawa

[bee-a-garbage-shipper]

Terrible Hot Takes about VicToriOus ships.

#victorious #bori #jori #cori #cade #tiermaker #vt #yes i know no one cares #but because quinton reviews doesn't think anyone ships bori #i had to do it #c: beck oliver #c: tori vega #c: jade west #c: cat valentine #c: andre harris #c: robbie shapiro #c: trina vega #s: bori #s: cade #s: jori #s: cori #s: bat #s: bandre #s: tandre #s: bade #s: trobbie #s: treck #s: cabbie #s: bobbie #s: jandre

[goldenlie]

Do you think George had the dream about tiny Quackity running around his room around when tiny Quackity ran around the classroom in their teaching George spanish stream?

Your mind anon, I think you're on to something. Ngl the 'important documents' reference felt very American visa application which honestly could've correlated to the time surrounding that stream. That or Georges subconscious just really held onto miniscule Quackity flying around the screen and causing him slight stress so he acted as the perfect culprit for whatever panic leaked into his dreams.

#anon i literally just listened to that banter podcast ep for the first time last night your timing is so good #not maintagging #ngl if i dreamt i did something only to wake up and find out i simultaneously did it irl 😟 #i would as tori vega once said freak the freak out #when c and cc george can't differentiate actions in dreams from reality 😍 /j #was gonna say i never get good dreams but two days ago i literally dreamt foolish wrote george a christmas card in mc #to which george read on stream and uttered one of the most out of character sentences imaginable #'aww this is cute' #... #in the defense of my minds conjuring's i was thinking about george on love or host that day and i guess this was born as a result #they don't warn you about the side effects of watching the austin show for three hours

[werewolfcave]

A WIP look at my Victoriou(s)stuck AU >:)c

Unfortunately this is not a joke

#victorious #tori vega #trina vega #sinjin van cleef #victoriousstuck #victorioustuck #victoriou(s)stuck #au #i did the edit thing #:) #>:)c

[randomxreaders]

Her Best Friend

Jade West x Reader(she/her)

a/n: So it's been about a year since I've posted anything i'm so sorry about that but here's another jade x reader science my last one did well

Summary- Y/n is in love with her best friend but doesn't know if she can tell her

Warnings- Crying?

!NOT MY GIF!

“Hey Y/n whats up?” Jade asked as she walked up to you, “Nothin just bored” Y/n said while admiring her best friend. She’d liked Jade for two years now but as far as she knew she didn't swing that way and she'd just broken up with Beck again, she deserves so much better. “Jade”Y/n announced while coming out of her trance, “Y/n” She replied turning her attention towards you, “Um are you..are you free to hang out tonight?I was thinking we could have a sleepover and watch the scissoring, then we could sneak out and t.p. Beck's R.V.” “ I like the way you think Y/l/n, I'm down” Jade said with a huge smile on her face. “Great I'll meet you at my house after school” Y/n said then walked to her next class. 

                                                   ~4 hours later~

Y/N and Jade had been out of school for officially 1 hour 3 minutes and 13 seconds Y/n was itching to see Jade and couldn't wait for her to come over, she had everything set up from the movie to the popcorn, the strawberries and the blankets. Y/n had decided to clean her room a little while waiting for Jade then she heard a ding from her phone, it was a notification that Tori had updated the snap absentmindedly Y/n checked it wand saw a picture of Jade with Tori making a kissy face towards her cheek. Y/n’s smile dropped when she saw the picture and dropped even more when she saw the caption; FEELING: LOVED

What did that mean? Had she lost her shot with Jade? Did Tori even like Jade? A couple minuets later Y/n door bell rang through the house, she went down to open it and saw Jade with her bag while, Jade walked in not so much as glancing at Y/n when she walked in “did you see that stupid picture that Vega posted I swear to god when i see her i'm going to rip-”  Jades head swung around when she heard you sniffle, she sped over to you and gave you a hug then wiped the tears you didn't know you shed, “Aw muffin whats wrong?” She asked gazing into Y/n’s y/e/c eyes. “Um nothing i'm fine let's go watch the movie yea?” Jade left Y/n alone as she knew if she wanted to talk about it they would. Y/n went to the bathroom before they started the movie to freshen up and saw her mascara and dried tears on her face. She quickly cleaned her face and reapplied some mascara then went to watch the movie. 

Y/n and Jade stayed on separate sides of the couch while they watched the movie, this worried Jade they would always sit next to each other when they watched movies with one's head in the other's lap or they'd cuddle and run fingers through each other's hair. Jade abruptly got up and paused the movie, “ok Y/n what's going on?” 

“Nothing Jade i'm fine”

“See no you're not you're hiding something from me and you never hide anything from me can you please just tell me whats wrong”, Jade begged you, you were sure this was only ever a side you and maybe Beck saw from Jade and it made you love her even more, Wait. Love? Do I love Jade? “Hey Y/n” Jade tried to bring you out of your thoughts “Muffin come on whats wrong” she soothed, God that name drew me insane the way she says it so softly,so gentle, what no Y/n stop she doesn't like you like that, but you couldn't live like this anymore. “Jade” said at almost a whisper, “Yes?” “Um you know i'm gay right” “Yes muffin I know whats going on?” “ok so I like this girl-” Jade cut you off “Is she why you were crying? I swear to god give me a name and I'll kick the shit out of her” Y/n let out a low laugh at Jade's protectiveness  “Jade.” Y/n said “Yes?” “That's her, her name is Jade, Jade West, that's who made me cry. And I cried because I saw a picture of her with someone and I thought they were together but i'm assuming with how you came into my house that you're not, but I don't even know if your into girls or not, and now i'm terrified that I just ruined our friendship by telling you so please say something or we can forget this ever happened and-” Jade put her hands on Y/n's face and pulled her in for a deep long kiss, which turned into a brief make out session before they pulled away for air. “Will you go out with me?” Y/n whispered as her lips grazed Jades “Yes.” Y/n smiled and pulled Jade in and gave her another kiss. “Ok now let's go t.p Beck's R.V” Jade smiled.

a/n: I really hoped you liked this and idk why but I definitely feel like Jade would call someone muffin and i stand by that, also so sorry if there are any typos!<3 p.s while writing this i had the song Flaming Hot Cheetos in my head    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f43ODtOUmBw 

#lgbtq #jade west #victorious #jade x reader

[sapphicwhxre]

angst prompt m. list

the characters i’m doing for each letter, using this list. updating next to each name whenever a fic is posted.

❦ A ─ narcissa black // drops of poison

❦ B ─ parvati patil // hopeless romantic

❦ C ─ cho chang // the ghost of cedric diggory

❦ D ─ nymphadora tonks

❦ E ─ harry j. potter

❦ F ─ tori vega // burn-out

❦ G ─ lavender brown // better

❦ H ─ cat valentine

❦ I ─ pansy parkinson // promiscuity

❦ J ─ fleur delacour

❦ K ─ george weasley

❦ L ─ bellatrix lestrange

❦ M ─ queenie goldstein

❦ N ─ jade west // starring role

❦ O ─ draco malfoy

❦ P ─ daphne greengrass // a proper girl

❦ Q ─ luna lovegood

❦ R ─ padma patil

❦ S ─ hermione granger

❦ T ─ tina goldstein

❦ U ─ astoria greengrass // the better one

❦ V ─ fred weasley

❦ W ─ ginny weasley

❦ X ─ lily evans

❦ Y ─ ron weasley

❦ Z ─ angelina johnson

────────────

xoxo, asteria

────────────

#harry james potter x reader #hermione granger x reader #draco malfoy x reader #pansy parkinson x reader #ron weasley x reader #ginny weasley x reader #fred weasley x reader #george weasley x reader #padma patil x reader #parvati patil x reader #astoria greengrass x reader #daphne greengrass x reader #lavender brown x reader #angelina johnson x reader #nymphadora tonks x reader #fleur delacour x reader #narcissa black x reader #bellatrix lestrange x reader #lily evans x reader #cho chang x reader #jade west x reader #cat valentine x reader #tori vega x reader #luna lovegood x reader #queenie goldstein x reader #tina goldstein x reader #harry potter #victorious #fantastic beasts

[iconsramdom]

Matching icons: Tori Vega and Cat Valentine

screencaps (c): @victoriajusticestuff

don't repost, please.

like or reblog if you use/save, please.

ig: icons.ramdom

#nicolepsd #nicole #icons #icons with psd #matching icons with psd #matching icons #icons matching #psd icons #icons com psd #girls icons #icons goals #icons metadinhas #metadinhas #metadinhas icons #with psd #icons with filter #psd #ariana grande #icons tori vega #tori vega #cat valentine icons #icons ariana grande #icons victoria justice #victoria justice icons #victoria justice #victorious #icons victorious #cat valentine #icons cat valentine #icons nickelodeon

[fresa-x]

Yikes. Lemme help you find your MiNd.

1. In For It - Tory Lanez, RL Grime

2. The Percocet & Stripper Joint - Future

3. St. Tropez - J. Cole

4. Acting Like - Tory Lanez, Shlohmo

5. Like Me - 2 Chainz ft. The Weeknd

6. Furthest Thing - Drake

7. Marijuana - Kid Cudi

8. Saint Pablo - Kanye West

9. King Troup - Young Thug

10. Crew Love - Drake, The Weeknd

11. Man On The Moon - Kid Cudi

12. Canal St. - A$AP Rocky, Bones

13. Savage Mode - 21 Savage, Metro Boomin

14. Too Bad I Have To Destroy You Now - Kid Cudi

15. Mojo So Dope - Kid Cudi

16. Jungle - Drake

17. Loft Music - The Weeknd

18. Heartless - Kanye West

19. Guwop - Young Thug, Quavo, Offset, Young Scooter

20. Love Yourz - J. Cole

21. Land of the Snakes - J. Cole

22. Wolves - Kanye West

23. You & The 6 - Drake

24. Wu-Tang Forever - Drake

25. Can't Tell Me Nothing - Kanye West

26. Heaven Or Las Vegas - The Weeknd

27. Smoke Break - Chance The Rapper ft. Future

28. Wednesday Night Interlude - Drake, PARTYNEXTDOOR

29. FML - Kanye West ft. The Weeknd

30. Novacane - Frank Ocean

31. King Wizard - Kid Cudi

32. Myself - NAV

33. Low Life - Future & The Weeknd

34. The Knowing - The Weeknd

35. Don't - Bryson Tiller

36. Exchange - Bryson Tiller

37. L$D - A$AP Rocky

38. Wicked Games - The Weeknd

39. A.D.H.D - Kendrick Lamar

40. What You Need - The Weeknd

41. Bitch, Don't Kill My Vibe - Kendrick Lamar

42. Frequency - Kid Cudi

43. So High - Wiz Khalifa ft. Ghost Loft

44. Pink + White - Frank Ocean

45. Thinkin Bout You - Frank Ocean

46. Purple Swag - A$AP Rocky

47. All The Time - Jeremih, Lil Wayne, Natasha Mosley

48. Twenty Eight - The Weeknd

49. Lean Wit Me - Juice WRLD

@lowkeydazed

#Tory Lanez #Future #J. Cole #jermaine cole #The Weeknd #abel tesfaye #xotwod #2 Chainz #Drake #Kid Cudi #Kanye West #Young Thug #asap rocky #a$ap rocky #21 savage #metro boomin #Young Metro #Trilogy #Quavo #Offset #chance the rapper #partynextdoor #Frank Ocean #Nav #Bryson Tiller #Kendrick Lamar #Spotify #Spotify Playlist #Hip Hop #Juice WRLD

[randomperson46]

Benson (Tori Vega x Male Reader)

I'm #23 in #torivega it's about time I wrote a story on her. She isn't my favorite but I'll put my bias aside. Hope you like it! Requested by: Natalia-The-Human

Tori just got a new dog. Her family rescued an old man who needed a home.

"Oh my goodness who is the bestest!" A (h/c) boy said to a dog laying in the chair across from him. The boy pet and loved on the dog and they wagged their tail. Tori saw her new boyfriend playing with her dog. She giggled. (Y/n) scooted closer to the dog and in response the dog sat up. His tail wagging so much you could see his butt shaking. (Y/n) slid onto the chair with him.

"What's his name?" Both boys were smiling but only (y/n) spoke.

"His name is Benson." Tori replied.

(Y/n) turned his head to face Benson and said in a serious tone, "I love you Benson." Tori laughed at him. And Benson lifted his head to give (y/n) lots of licks and kisses.

"Oh oh oh no no no! Not the face! Awe I love you kisses! You're a good boy! Yes you are! Awe you my best boy!" (Y/n) became mush in front of Benson. Tori just shook her head and reached for (y/n). She ruffed his (hair/type) hair and copyed his words.

"You're a good boy! Yes you are!" But Tori was cut off by a chaste kiss on her lips. She was stunned and looked at the boy in front of her.

"Benson was giving me kisses so I gave them to you," he rubbed the back of his neck," I'm sorry I didn't ask. I'll be sure to ask next time."

"Next time?" She rose her voice some when she hit the 'i' sound.

"Yeah," he put his hands on his face to hide his embarrassment, "can I kiss you again?" His voice was muffled behind his hands. Benson however was having none of this teen drama and jumped off the chair and jumped into the couch to lay down.

"Okay." Tori was red now. "Okay, yeah you can kiss me again." She smiled and leaned toward (Y/n). Tori fell because (y/n) was sitting in the chair and she was standing. She slid and her jaw met his kneecap.

"Ow Tori next time just tell me I'm a bad kisser." (Y/n) held his knee and winced. He then reached out for Tori's face. He tilted her chin. "Oh you're bleeding bleeding." He tilted her head. He got up and walked into Tori's kitchen and looked around. Tori followed. (Y/n) opened all the cabinets except the one he needed.

"Why?" Tori held her mouth and leaned back. (Y/n)'s head snapped to her. He walked up to her. He put a hand on her stomach and his other on the top of her back. He gently pushed her forward and tilted her head down. Blood fell onto the floor.

"Now I gotta clean that!" Tori groaned.

"I'll mop it up if it means you won't choke on your own blood." (Y/n) responded.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

#victorious #victorious x reader #victorious x male reader #tori vega #tori vega x male reader #tori vega x reader

[jalapeno-princess]

All I Need is You

(Guys I miss Mark so fucking much *Cue Tori Vega I think we all miss Mark)

Songwriter Mark X Reader

Genre: Extremely fluffy angst (is that even a thing?)

Word Count: 5.8K

Summary: For all your life, your parents raised you to be the perfect daughter of every parent’s dreams. You did every single thing your parents forced you to do and never did you complain about anything they’d make you do, no matter how badly you wanted to. That all changed the day your path collides with Mark Tuan. After being stripped of your childhood completely in order to be respective and follow your parent’s desires, Mark shows you how beautiful life can be when you do the things you want to. Mark is the breath of fresh air from a life you feel so suffocated in. For the duration of your relationship, you did your best in hiding him from your parents in fear of them disapproving of the older boy. However, once you graduate from college, you decide you are old enough to make your own decisions and you build the courage to introduce your boyfriend to your family. The night starts off without a hitch; everyone seems to really like him up until your mom asks him what he does for a living. That’s when things take a turn for the worst and your mom gives you an ultimatum; to chose between the love of your life and your family.

A/N: Hey guys, so I’ve been wanting to write an imagine based on the song Paris by the chainsmokers for the longest time and here it is. Only when I reached the middle of writing the story did I realize this is the complete opposite of my other story “Second Chances” LOL. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this story (most of it is written in past tense so I hope you don’t get confused).

We were staying in Paris To get away from your parents And I thought, "Wow If I could take this in a shot right now I don't think that we could work this out" Out on the terrace I don't know if it's fair but I thought "How Could I let you fall by yourself While I'm wasted with someone else

"If we go down then we go down together They'll say you could do anything They'll say that I was clever If we go down then we go down together We'll get away with everything Let's show them we are better Let's show them we are better Let's show them we are better

“Hey, everything okay?”

It was currently 2:45 a.m. and normally, you’d be fast asleep right now but you couldn’t help feeling as if the bed grew more spacious and colder than it was when you first went to sleep. Mark was your own personal furnace; the two of you fell asleep pretty early after a long day of sightseeing and an even longer night of love making.

After multiple rounds of his all but gentle kisses on your neck, jaw and chest as he rammed himself in and out of your velvety walls, you both were too tired to get up and clean yourselves off. He immediately pulled you in to his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around your waist while placing his face in the crook of your neck and whispering sweet nothings until his dreams finally took a hold of him. It’s been like this for the last three weeks since you and Mark ran away to Paris in the hopes of hiding from your extremely overprotective and non-understanding parents.

You’d go sight seeing, visit a couple of museums, cute little coffee shops and sometimes you’d even go to a farmer’s market and you’d buy food to make for recipes you and Mark learned while watching whatever they had on television. Almost every single night ended up in sex; on a few occasions, there were drunken stupors where one of you or sometimes even both of you would have a little too much to drink and you’d have wild, kinky sex.

Then there were the days where you’d argue over minuscule and unnecessary things and usually Mark would be the first to give up and apologizing with his head between your thighs. Most of your love making sessions were soft, passionate and very romantic.

To strangers or people who weren’t familiar with him, Mark gave off an intimidating and sometimes standoffish kind of vibe. It was only because he was actually very shy and soft spoken and those who actually knew him were aware of how talkative and outgoing he could be around those he was comfortable with.

Unfortunately, your parents were the kind of people you’d always sought praise from and you’d do whatever you could to make them proud. Ever since you were a little girl, you went along with every command they would give you, you never complained about the clubs they’d put you in or the clothes they had you wear. It wasn’t as if you were the only child, you had three other siblings but since you were the youngest, your parents were a little more strict with you even if you never gave them a reason to question or mistrust you.

It wasn’t until Mark came in to your life that your relationship with your parents took a completely different turn. You’ve known Mark since middle school and although you hardly ever talked to him, you did admire him from afar and you could only wish to build up the courage so that maybe one day, you’d be able to at least say hello.

He was always such a social butterfly and made friends with anybody he’d interact with. All the girls in your grade had a crush on him, but you couldn’t blame them. Not only was he a sight for sore eyes, he was such a free spirit; he had decent grades and not once did the teachers have any problems with him like they did with his friends. But he was never one to genuinely care about his education, and unfortunately that was his downfall.

When you finally entered high school, it’s as if the world felt like it was time for you and Mark to come together and for your two worlds to become one. In your first semester, he was in almost every single one of your classes. You didn’t think you were the smartest person in your grade, but you did pretty well in all the subjects. All those years of long, grueling days of summer school actually paid off. Sometimes, you hated being the youngest.

Your parents expected so much out of you but they never seemed to care about anything that your two older brothers and your older sister did. They all got to join groups, clubs and sports that they genuinely liked whereas you were coerced in to learning how to play the violin and the cello. You were thankful that school was considerably easy for you seeing as how your parents made education your first priority.

While your brothers would play video games and your sister would talk on the phone with her friends, you’d be practicing math problems and read books about the civil war. You didn’t think you got to experience a legitimate childhood you’d witness all your classmates and friends had. For that reason alone, you always felt different from everybody else and it was the reason why you were so hesitant on continuing friendships with the few friends you did have from middle school.

You could never relate to anything they’d talk about; all their favorite movies they’d watch, the latest installment of Grand theft auto that they’d play, going to each other’s houses—you weren’t even allowed to cross the street by yourself let alone go out with your friends. Entering high school by yourself had to be one of the most scariest things you had to go through and because your siblings were at least five years older than you, none of them would be there at least if you needed someone to confide in or run to.

From all the stories you’d hear from each of them, their high school experiences were ones for the books. Both of your brothers joined each and every sport you could think of and your sister was the co-captain of the cheerleading team. She also had a few boyfriends in high school and you felt as if a lot of the mistakes she made were the reasons why your parents took complete control of your life.

It didn’t take long for Mark to acknowledge your existence; in fact, what you didn’t know was that back in middle school, he noticed you even if you didn’t realize it yourself. While all the girls would ogle over him and try to get his attention, he would find himself admiring you from afar.

Mark always thought you were so cute; you were always hesitant to answer the questions your teacher would ask you even if everyone was aware you knew the answer, whenever someone asked you for help you were always so quick to attend to them no matter what they were asking of you and he could never get the way you would blush when you were flustered out of his head.

He had no problem talking with other girls, but he’d become a mess at even just the thought of having to talk to you. Mark was quick to pick up on how you had most of your classes together, and he was going to use this to his advantage. Only a month in to school, both his algebra teacher and his language arts teacher pulled him to the side to tell him that he wasn’t doing too good in their classes. It wasn’t that Mark was purposefully failing his classes in order to get you to tutor him, he never was all that amazing in school to begin with.

High school wasn’t even half as easy as middle school was. Getting anything lower than a C wasn’t going to cut it and now that he had two Ds, he planned on asking you for some help. When Mark did approach you and asked you to help him catch up with a couple of missing assignments and to help teach him some algebra formulas, you had a hard time believing he was even talking to you. In the beginning of your tutoring sessions, he was always quite the gentleman.

He’d give you his full attention, always waited till you were done talking before he’d ask you a question, he’d tell you silly jokes so that it wasn’t always about studying and learning and sometimes he would drop you home after your meetings. It didn’t take long for your tutoring sessions to turn in to something more and only three months after getting to know each other, he asked you to be his girlfriend.

Dating Mark was a dream you never think would become a reality. He was extremely kind hearted and took care of you in ways you didn’t think you’d be able to experience. You were shocked when he confessed that he’s liked you for all these years, and you were quick to admit the same to him. Knowing how your parents could be, you decided to keep your relationship with Mark a secret and he was very understanding about the entire thing.

The two of you would sneak around during and after school for the entirety of your high school years and your love for one another only grew stronger as the time went by. You fell in love with him in tiny little coffee shops, in the back of the library where you’d be making out together when you were supposed to be studying. You’d lie to your parents and say you were preparing for tests and picking up on extra credit when really you’d be lying in the back of Mark’s truck, cuddling in his arms while looking up at the stars.

Mark did a great job at helping you take your mind off of how perfect you were supposed to be. He was the breath of fresh air that you’ve always craved and now that you had him, you didn’t think you would be able to let him go. Ever. He made you feel like a little kid again; you actually got to experience all sorts of things you’ve wanted to do as a child through your relationship. It didn’t take you long to fall in love with him.

Being in love was an indescribable feeling. Every time something good happened to you, he was the first person you wanted to tell and whenever something bad happened, he was the shoulder you wanted to cry on. He always knew the right thing to say; but if there ever was a time he didn’t know how to respond to something, he would just hold you comfortingly while whispering sweet, encouraging words in your ear.

People claimed that perfect people didn’t exist and if that’s the case, then Mark came pretty close. You felt as if he was sent in your life to be your safe haven; your sanity. The burst of color in your world of black and white. He had a habit of telling you he loved you every single day and even if he weren’t to do so, his actions spoke for him. You don’t know how you did it, but you actually did a great job in hiding Mark from your parents for the last few years.

There were times where you did come pretty close to getting caught; whether it was because of how loud you didn’t think you were while talking on the phone with him, or when you’d come back home with swollen lips and tousled hair. It didn’t matter to you though. A part of you was ready for whatever response you’d receive from your parents. Honestly, Mark was the kind of guy you’d bring home to your parents; so you weren’t afraid of the idea of introducing him to your family.

The only thing you were really worried about was what they would say when they were to find out you were hiding a boyfriend from them for over six years. After graduating from high school, both you and Mark went straight in to college. You went in to study criminal law and he had high hopes of becoming an engineer. Three months in to college, Mark decided it wasn’t for him and as his girlfriend, although you were upset at the idea, you supported and trusted his choices.

College wasn’t for everybody. With that being said, it was then that you found out he wanted to become a songwriter. In the few years that you’ve known him for, not once did he ever talk about wanting to write songs. You didn’t think he was passionate about music in general let alone wanting to write music for artists but when he showed you a few of the songs he had wrote, with most of them being about you, you knew he was extremely talented.

Mark always had a way with words and now that you saw them written down on paper, you knew you’d continue to support his dreams and his future endeavors and that you would do anything to help him if he needed it. Before you knew it, four years came and gone and you graduated from college with your bachelor’s degree in criminal justice. It didn’t take too long for law firms to reach out to you with internships and to see if you were interested to work for their companies. Mark was also very successful  with his career.

He started off small; he wrote a few things here and there for some up and coming artists but it wasn’t anything too major. No matter how patient he was, there were times he did grow discouraged and felt like giving up but you never allowed him to. You saw how passionate he was about writing. You’d watch him stay up trying to write down any ideas that would pop through his head.

The road to success wasn’t easy, but when he got an offer from a record company to write songs for a popular artist you both listened to, he was extremely over the moon and made sure to let you know your love, your patient, your support and your determination to help him succeed was what kept him going.

The day came where you felt like you were ready to tell your parents about the man you were head over heels in love with and the reaction you got wasn’t one you were expecting. When you brought him over for dinner, both your mother and your sister raved over how good looking he was and your brothers tried their best to come off as the older, overprotective brothers boyfriends wouldn’t want to mess with. But when they heard Mark played fortnite, they were sold.

Even your father took a liking to him once Mark told him his favorite football team were the Patriots. Everything seemed to be going perfectly and you were so upset with yourself for keeping him a secret for so long. It wasn’t until your mother asked him what he did for a living that things only went downhill from there. I’m a songwriter. You could still remember the grave look on your mom’s face and with the way she motioned for you to follow her and your father in to the living room while excusing the three of you from the table, you knew it wasn’t going to be good.

You were angry that she didn’t wait for dinner to be finished or even for Mark to go home before ridiculing him on his career. It was obvious that she wasn’t too happy to hear he was a musician but it didn’t matter what she thought. Hell, you didn’t care about what anyone in your family thought about him. You loved Mark, with every beat of your heart and there was nothing your parents could say or do to change your mind about him.

“You are to break up with that boy immediately.”

Your eyes widened in shock at your mother’s command and for the first time looking her, hell, looking at your parents, you didn’t feel afraid of them. This time, you had something beautiful worth fighting for. This wasn’t something minuscule; it wasn’t something you could just stop like piano lessons or tennis practice. This was an 8 year long relationship she was telling you to end and there was no way you were going to lose against your parents without putting up a fight.

“No.”

The scoff that came from your mother’s throat wasn’t unexpected. This was the first time ever you talked back to either of your parents. This was the first time you actually said the word no in your 23 years of existence and damn, it felt really good.

“Excuse me? Did you just tell your mother no? Y/n, he’s a musician! He will never be able to give you the life you deserve! That is not a career! You’ll be the one having to take care of your entire family, I refuse to let this man ruin your life. You’re going to throw away everything you’ve worked so hard for—for someone whose position in your life isn’t promised. You know better than this, there are plenty more men in the world with better jobs and probably better living situations. Mrs.Choi’s son is a—“

“I don’t give a shit about Mrs.Choi’s son or Mrs.Park’s son or anyone’s damn son for that matter. I love Mark. I am in love with Mark. I only want Mark. Mark is all I need. I don’t care about what his job title is. It makes him happy and he’s pretty fucking amazing at what he does. But like I said, I don’t give a shit what he does for a living. He could be a garbage man and I’d still love him with every fiber of my being because that’s what love is mom. Love is not money, it’s not a big mansion in Beverly Hills with a doctor husband and six cars I will probably never drive. Love is what I feel when I’m with Mark. He takes care of me. He makes me laugh when I’m sad, he makes me smile even in the most inconvenient situations. He does my laundry, cleans our apartment, blow dries my hair when I’m tired, takes me to and pays for all my doctor’s appointments. We’ve been together for almost 8 years and these last 8 years have been the best years of my entire life because of him. The two of you stripped away the entirety of my childhood from me and Mark was the fountain of youth to help me experience actually being a human.” If looks could kill, the glare your mother was sending you would have you six feet under, but you didn’t care.

“I’m not a little girl anymore. I’m grown. I’m an adult for crying out loud you guys can’t tell me what to do anymore. I’m sorry you can’t accept it but I love Mark and I plan on doing so for the rest of my life and there’s nothing either of you can say or do to change my mind.”

“If you leave with him tonight, you are never allowed back in to this house ever again.” The burst of confidence and bravery you had confessing your love for Mark and the fact that you had every intention of staying with him went right out the window at your mother’s ultimatum. Was she really making you choose between your boyfriend and your family? There was no way you could choose between the two of them. Yes, Mark was the best thing that’s ever happened to you. But to lose all contact with your family because your parents were being unfair and irrational with their decision? She didn’t even take the time to listen to your words; did she not care about your health, happiness and well-being? Here was a man putting her youngest daughter on a pedestal, giving her the entire world and more but yet she still couldn’t accept that. You didn’t know the consequences of your next few words, but it wasn’t even a question. “Mark, we’re leaving. Let’s go.”

Your boyfriend came out from the kitchen and you had a feeling he probably heard the entire conversation between you and your parents, but your mind was so focused on leaving before things could get any worse. “Y/n, wait, sweetie think about this—think about what you’re doing—are you really willing to give up your family for a boy?”

“A man—he’s a man and yes—he’s all the family I could ever need. He’s shown me more love and support in our 8 years of being together than either of you did in the last 23 years of my existence. If you were a really family, you’d accept Mark for who he is and what he does and you’d be happy with the fact that he takes such good care of me but no. Your pride, your reputation, your wealth, your social status and your ego are more important than my feelings and what I want. You don’t care about me. You never cared about me you just cared about what others would think about me and I’m sick of it. I’m done. Have a nice rest of your life. Assholes.”

You marched out of the house and a huge weight was lifted off of your shoulders. With the rate you were walking, your boyfriend had to practically jog to catch up with you because you were filled with so many different emotions. Anger. Sadness. Grief. But no regret, nor any remorse. You knew you made the right decision in choosing Mark because not only did you choose Mark, you chose yourself. You were no longer going to allow your parents to dictate your life anymore.

“Baby—are you alright?” You gave him a sad smile before stealing a soft kiss from the corner of his mouth.

“Maybe not right now, but I will be. Take me home Mark.” Your siblings tried to get in touch with you for weeks, trying to get you to come back and to talk things out with your parents, but the damage was done. Neither of them were going to accept your relationship. It was a tough pill to swallow, but you accepted it for what it was.

Even if one day they came around and accepted Mark being a songwriter, there was no way you could ever forget the look of disgust on your mom’s face when Mark said what his job was nor could you forget how your dad just stood there and said nothing. It genuinely showed that neither of your parents really cared about you even if you were the star child out of the four of you and that’s what was hurting you the most.

Mark did his best to try and take your mind off what had happened and every time you’d look at him while he was sleeping, while he was cooking the two of you dinner or while the two of you would shower together, you’d see the glint in his eyes as he looked at you like you were one of the seven wonders of the world and you knew you made the right choice. You’d pick him again and again every single time.

He never brought up the fact that your parents didn’t accept his passion but you were sure it must have hurt him. Especially because that’s was caused you to be cut off from your entire family, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t extremely content with your decision. A few weeks ago, Mark got a call from the record company he was working for and gave him the opportunity to travel around Europe to work with a couple of the entertainers there and he didn’t hesitate to ask you to tag along with him.

The adventure started off in Italy, then you found yourselves in London and Greece. Each and every city was more than you could even imagine. The scenery was so beautiful, the food was delicious, the people were so sweet and the fact that you got to experience it all with your soulmate; your favorite person was a feeling you would never be able to fathom in to words.

Paris had to be your favorite place you had visited so far and you were sure it had to deal with the fact that it was the city of love and you were making the most of it with the love of your life by your side. It was currently winter in Paris right now; the temperature only grew colder as the days went by which is why you were shocked to see Mark outside on the balcony in only his underwear, but the sight did make your cheeks pink.

No matter how many times you’ve seen him naked, you always got so shy and flustered. He was freezing cold when you finally found your way behind him, you placed your chin on his shoulder blade and left a soft kiss there while lazily wrapping your arms around his hips. The giggle that fell from your lips at the feeling of your bare chest against his back couldn’t be helped, he was so cold and the frost nipped at your skin.

It took you a few moments to notice the cigarette in his hand and when you did, you grew worried. Mark hated cigarettes. He hated the smell and hated the negative effect they had on people’s bodies. However, you noticed he began smoking them after working with a well-known rapper who claimed that smoking helped him relax. It was a habit you weren’t too fond of; you knew it was probably damaging his lungs and you could taste the ash in his kisses, but you knew something had to be bothering him for him to want to even start smoking so you never tried stopping him.

For the last month, you haven’t seen a pack of cigarettes lying around the place nor did the scent linger on his clothes so you knew there was a chance he stopped. Seeing that ugly death stick in between his fingers made your blood boil; you didn’t want anything happening to his health because of a stupid decision he‘d make whenever he was upset.

“Go back to bed baby. I’ll be there soon, I just needed a little break. I’m fine.” You’ve been with Mark long enough to know when he was lying. You didn’t have to see him; the lack of confidence in his voice and the way he tensed up against your body made it clear that something was indeed on his mind, and there was no way you’d be able to go back to sleep knowing he was overthinking.

“Talk to me Mark. Something is obviously bothering you and I want to be able to help you.” He released a long sigh before putting out the cigarette and turning to face you. His eyes were red and puffy and there were dried tears on his cheeks.

The idea of him crying made your heart hurt; he was always the strong one in your relationship. No matter how rough life would get for him, he never showed that he was having a hard time. He hated burdening other people, especially you. So all his battles, he’d keep to himself. You hated that he never confided in you the way you always seemed to with him. You wanted to be able to help him carry the burden or to help fight the war in his mind that he was battling alone.

“Why did you do it?” You immediately looked at him in confusion. What was he talking about? What did you do that could be causing him so much distress and frustration?

“Mark—“

“You gave up everything to be with me. You’re completely cut off from your parents, you gave up your job at the law firm, you had to sell your car, you left all your friends without any explanation as to why you were leaving—just for me. I can’t give you everything that I want to just yet. I can’t promise to give you a big house, a nice car—we’ve been together for years and I have every intention on marrying you y/n but I can’t afford to buy you the ring of your dreams—I’m honestly nothing. I’m a college dropout trying to become a renowned songwriter y/n. Sure, I’ve been getting quite a few amazing opportunities but it isn’t enough for us to be set for the rest of our lives nor can we really be comfortable. Like your mom said, there are many men out there who’d be able to take care of you in the ways that I can’t. All I can do is love you y/n, and fuck. I love you more than you can even fathom yourself. But you deserve so much more and sometimes love isn’t enough—“

“Do you hear yourself right now? Are you really asking me why I left my life behind to be with you? My family, I love them dearly. But you know how I feel about my parents, how they sheltered me, overprotected me, forced me in to doing things I didn’t want to. They never did care about how I felt; not once did they stop and think maybe they were working me to the bone. I was never happy Mark. Until you came in to my life and I really don’t know what I would do if I were to lose you. I’m assuming you must’ve heard what my mom said and don’t you dare listen or even think what she said was true. You are not nothing Mark. You are so talented, so hardworking, so passionate and dedicated and if anyone deserves the world baby—it’s you. I meant what I said when I told her I couldn’t give less of a shit about any materialistic things. What’s a fucking Porsche going to do for me if my husband neglects me? What’s a big house if the person that I love isn’t there to share it with me?” You brought your hand up to cup his cheek and released a sigh of relief when he leaned in to your palm.

“You and I could live in a fucking box and I wouldn’t care and you wanna know why? Because you’re there. All I need is you. I don’t care where we go, who we meet, how much money we have in our bank accounts; as long as I have you right beside me, I’m not worried about anything. I can get another car Mark, I can find another job, I can make new friends—but there is never going to be another you. So stop beating yourself up about the decisions I made in the last few months. I did it for us. I did it because I love you. I will never love anyone the way I love you. Now get it out of your head that I deserve someone better than you because a man like that doesn’t exist. And yes—your love is enough Mark. It’s all that matters to me. The way you take care of me when I’m sick, or hold me close as we watch a scary movie. The way you take a bite out of my food to make sure it isn’t too hot, although I feel like you use that as an excuse just to try my food. The way you can be so tired, yet you want to sit down and listen to me go on about my day. You love me Mark. You never fail to say it, but it means more to me because you never fail to show it either.” At this point, his tears were flowing steadily from the bird of his eyelids and you found yourself wiping them away every time new tears fell.

“A person’s job title, the amount of education they’ve received, the kind of car they drive and the house they live in; none of that matters babe. I know you probably hear this all the time, but it’s what the inside that matters. Genuinely. All the wealth, the riches, it doesn’t make you better than anyone else. Your personality, your selflessness, your golden heart, your generosity, your patience, the love you never fail to show others, that’s why I fell in love with you. Oh—and your stupidly handsome looks but that’s besides the point. I’d go wherever it is that you’ll go. Whatever you need me to do, or be in order to help you grow as an artist or just a human being in general, I’ll do it. I’ll do anything for you Mark Tuan. And one day, when everything works out with your career, we can rub it in my parents faces. No more tears my love. It’s just you and I; and that’s what makes me the most happy. Oh—and I don’t need a big wedding or a huge diamond ring to get me to marry you. You could get me a ring pop for all I care. I just want to be with you. We could honestly elope in one of the hotel’s chapels if that’s what you want.”

He didn’t miss a beat before bringing his hands on either side of your face and roughly connecting your lips together. His mouth was warm and wet against yours, his kisses were rough and needy. It’s as if he was putting everything he wanted to say to you in to the kiss. How grateful he was for you. How much you meant to him. How much he loved you more than his heart could genuinely handle. Mark knew he needed to continue fighting for his dream in order to prove to you that you made the right decision in choosing him. Soon, the atmosphere was filled of sexual tension and it didn’t take too long for you to feel something hard against your thigh.

“I just—I hope—fuck. Thank you baby. I could never thank you enough for everything that you’ve done and continue to do for me. You’re the most ethereal being to walk on this earth you know that. I really, really do not deserve you but I will spend the rest of my life proving to you that I’m sure happy you chose me. Don’t tempt me, I might just go down to the gift shop and get you that ring pop. I love you—so fucking much my beautiful girl. God , only you could make me hard as a rock while I’m in the middle of crying—I know it’s 3 A.M, and I promised I would take you to the Champs-Élysées later on today, but I really want to show you just how grateful I am for you. I also kinda want to solve this problem in my pants and fuck the shit out of you so let’s go baby. You might have to rent a motor chair to get around once I’m done with you.”

#got7 imagines #got7 #got7 mark #mark tuan #mark tuan got7

[backtobasicbellas]

only wanted a taste of your lips

words: 3,167 relationships: Jade West/Tori Vega warning: angsty

(tbh I really don’t know what this is I just had an idea and ran with it and now it’s here and idk how to feel about it but enjoy?)

//

It starts like this.

It starts at one of the many summer parties the gang attends, the ones all their - now old - classmates throw at the start of summer in celebration of graduation and starting what they believe is adulthood.

It starts with too many vodka shots and not enough water.

It starts with Tori and Jade tumbling into the bathroom, Tori whining about how she can’t go alone and hasn’t seen Cat since they arrived.

It starts with Jade just watching her as she washes her hands, how her cheeks are flushed and how the smile doesn’t quite disappear.

It starts with Jade not moving and Tori just staring, both of them clearly not ready to open the door, both so close in this tiny upstairs bathroom.

It starts with Jade leaning in, but it ends with Tori on the bathroom counter, doing her best to be as quiet as she can as she comes undone.

They don’t say anything after, not when Jade stands up and wipes her mouth or when Tori hops off the sink and pulls her pants up. 

Not when Jade opens the door quickly and makes her way downstairs, Tori following closely behind as the music fills them up.

Not when Andre teases them for taking forever in the bathroom and Beck notices the way Jade looks distracted.

They don’t say anything, but neither of them have to.

It’s obvious: something’s changed.

And, yeah, maybe it does become a thing.

The way Jade sees it - at first - is that she’s starting a whole new life in New York this fall anyway. Who cares if she’s fucking the girl she insisted she hated for the better part of four years?

(Okay, maybe fucking is a little too crude. They hang out before or after that part of it, too, Jade supposes. Tori isn’t as awful as Jade has insisted all this time.)

It’s not like they tell anyone; they don’t mention it, but it’s clear - neither of them say anything about it to other people. Tori seems just as content as Jade to not share the information with the world, not tell their friends when they see each other, but they can’t help the occasional glances or the way Jade’s hand brushes against Tori’s when they’re next to each other.

If there’s one person on the planet Jade doesn’t want to find out, it’s Beck. It would be awkward, Jade figures, considering they’re all friends and she and Beck dated for so long and then Beck almost dated Tori and all that.

It goes on for the whole summer that way, when Tori’s family isn’t home or when Jade’s parents are out. It’s easy, Jade discovers, being around Tori like this. Tori doesn’t hold a grudge against her for all the mean things she’s done and Jade isn’t nearly as cruel as she can be. Jade decides she likes being around Tori.

“So you move to New York next week,” Tori says one day.

“Yup,” Jade nods, trying to ignore the rising feeling in her chest. “And you’re starting at UCLA next month.”

She knew they couldn’t avoid this conversation no matter what, but Jade was still hoping there would be no final word.

“Yeah, pretty crazy,” Tori muses.

They’re both silent for a moment and then, “We’re good, right?”

Tori tilts her head, biting her lip in a stupidly adorable way. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” Jade shrugs, trying to make this as normal as possible. “I mean, like, it’s not going to be weird...with you and me.”

“Oh,” Tori says after a beat, nodding. “Yeah, totally. I mean, you’re off to New York, but we’re good. It’s not like we’ll just stop talking.”

“Right,” Jade nods.

It’s not exactly the answer Jade wanted - what answer did she want? - but she’ll take it.

Tori smiles just a little. “And, it’s not like you won’t be home for holidays.”

A sliver of hope, despite her thoughts, infiltrates its way into Jade’s system.

“Of course,” she agrees.

So that’s that. Jade moves to New York, Tori starts at UCLA, and when she comes home, well, it’s like she never left.

//

They still don’t tell anyone.

Not until sophomore year when Jade has found herself increasingly thinking about Tori even when in New York, that Jade spills out the secret over coffee with Beck in between their busy schedules.

“I’m sleeping with Tori.”

Beck coughs up his last sip, eyes wide as he says, “What?”

Jade shrugs, staying a nonchalant as she possibly can. “It’s not - like, we’re not dating. It’s just..I don’t know. We hook up when I’m home.”

Beck is silent for a moment and then, “Oh.”

“Oh?” Jade repeats.

“How long has it been going on?” Beck asks.

He’s not mad, this much Jade knows. It’s curiosity in his tone that puts Jade at ease.

“Uh, the summer after graduation I guess,” Jade shrugs.

Beck nods, taking the information in. Jade tries not to squirm.

“Do you like her?” 

Instead of snapping, Jade shrugs, looking at her half empty cup of black coffee.

“I don’t know,” she says. “It’s Tori.”

“Yeah, it’s Tori.”

When Jade looks up, there is a knowing smile on Beck’s face. She rolls her eyes, kicking him under the table and asking him how his last date went.

(They don’t talk about it much after that, at least not when Jade can help it.

It doesn't stop Beck from his teasing when they visit home and Jade is too busy for him.)

//

For a moment, Jade feels like she’s in high school again.

Here she is, in her favorite hole-in-the-wall diner, sitting at the exact booth she’s always sat in. Across from her, Beck Oliver is chowing down on his fries, burger half-eaten and a chocolate milkshake at his side.

But Beck is not her boyfriend and they aren’t teenagers at Hollywood Arts with big dreams and miniscule problems. Instead, they are now twenty-one and on the verge of real adulthood. But this, this moment in the corner of the tiny diner that’s still somehow running, this is tradition.

Despite breaking up somewhere between prom and graduation, she and Beck still remained good friends. Of course, it was hard for all of their friends to understand, how quickly they transitioned from boyfriend and girlfriend to just friends, considering all the other times they’d broken up. But there was just something about the finality of it all, the way Jade didn’t scream and yell and kick and punch, as if she knew this was the only way it could go, the way Beck didn’t have to argue with her, that made sense to the two of them.

Jade still loves him, always has if she’s honest, but she knows it’s not the kind of love they both are looking for. Beck is her sounding board, he’s there and doesn’t push and just lets Jade be. He’s her best friend, if she’s being honest. The two of them still ended up going to New York after graduation, Jade to film school and Beck for acting. And despite wanting to get as far away as possible from the life she’d known in Los Angeles, there’s always been something comforting about having Beck not too far away.

But here they are now, in the diner they’d frequent over high school, where they’d go on their first date and then just because many times after. This place has been grounded in their relationship.

“I think the food just gets better every time we come back,” Beck tells her as he leans over to slurp out of his milkshake.

Jade only scoffs. “I think we’ve just been away too long.”

He gives her a look, one that she rolls her eyes at, but they both smile in the end. They flew in together last night, finishing finals just around the same time. Their stay is only temporary though, just for a few weeks. Jade landed a summer internship in New York for a film company. Beck’s got an acting gig at a local theater by his apartment. New York suits them both, Jade thinks, though she’s grown fonder of Los Angeles since she’s been away.

“So, have you made plans to see your girlfriend yet?” Beck asks, a teasing edge in his voice as he wipes his mouth with a napkin.

Jade shoots him a glare. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Sure you do,” Beck insists, that stupid smile on his face. 

“Tori isn’t my girlfriend,” Jade says pointedly, her jaw setting.

“Right,” Beck nods. “She’s just your friend who you occasionally hook up with when you come home.”

Jade resists the urge to squirm. Beck usually keeps quiet about Jade’s friendship with Tori, but the older they’ve gotten, the harder it is for him to ignore. Jade knows deep down, he’s known it all along, known it longer than Jade herself has for sure.

She’s never really hated Tori, not at all.

But she still won’t admit it out loud.

“We’re fucking adults, Beck,” she snaps. “I can hook up with whoever I want.”

Not that anyone outside of Beck knows, or that Tori knows that Beck knows that this has been going on for years now.

Beck softens them, leaning forward in his seat as he says, “Yeah, but it’s not just casual.”

Jade pointedly looks away, her jaw working. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Jade, you haven’t dated anyone since me,” Beck says softly. “I think we both know why.”

“No.”

“Jade.”

“We’re just friends,” Jade insists. “We don’t even talk that much when I’m at school.”

Beck sighs, deciding to let it go. “If you say so.”

There’s silence for a moment and then, “She’ll be at that dumb thing Sinjin’s throwing tomorrow night. Guess we’ll see her there.”

“Guess so,” Beck echoes, staring at Jade for another beat before he’s finishing off his milkshake.

//

Jade is two drinks in and she’s still not even really sure what this event is that Sinjin’s hosting - is it a birthday? A random party? Who knows - but it’s nice to have all her friends here, even Robbie and his stupid puppet.

“Where’s Tori?” Robbie asks.

Jade, too, noticed she’s the last one of their group to arrive, though it’s usually not normal of her. 

Andre looks up from his phone. “She said she’s five minutes away, she’ll be here soon.”

Jade, for her part, hasn’t talked to Tori since she got back to Los Angeles. Something about seeing Tori again always makes her just a little jumpy, though. She can’t help it if her eyes wander around, looking for the skinny brunette with those dumb cheek bones.

It’s only a few minutes later the girl in question wanders in, and hates that there’s a sense of relief that runs through her at the sight of Tori. Andre follows Jade’s line of sight quickly and begins waving, and Tori’s dumb smile graces her face and she is quickly making her way over.

Jade then notices, behind her, a blonde is following closely behind, and Jade wonders if she’s brought one of her friends from UCLA with her tonight.

“Did Tori tell you she was bringing a friend?” Beck asks, and Jade is unsure if the question is for her or for Andre.

Andre’s the one who answers, “Nope.”

“You guys!” Tori squeals, excited like she always is to see her friends from home.

She is quickly swept up in Andre’s arms, the closest to him out of everyone else here - well, if you don’t count whatever it is she and Jade are - and Jade admires it for a moment, how despite getting older, they all seem to find time to be together.

Tori makes her rounds hugging everyone, and Jade tries not to hold on too long when it’s her turn, tries not to make it obvious she misses Tori more the longer she’s away. Tori still smells like fruity shampoo and vanilla, and something about it settles Jade.

“Hey,” Tori murmurs.

“Hi,” Jade replies in a low voice, still enough to be heard over the stupid music Sinjin’s got playing. “Good to see you.”

Tori pulls away, giving her a quick smile before she’s being pulled into an aggressively tight hug by Cat. Jade chuckles softly, looking on at the exchange fondly.

(For a moment, she forgets about the girl standing behind Tori, looking in awkwardly and waiting for her chance at an introduction.)

Robbie is the one who provides it, in typical Shapiro fashion.

“So Tori,” Robbie starts as soon as Cat releases her. “Who’s your pretty looking lady friend?”

Jade notices the way Tori tenses for a moment, giving Robbie a nervous smile.

Tori looks at all of them, the nerves creeping on to the rest of her features and she reaches back and offers her hand to the blonde, who takes it and steps forward to stand even with Tori. Jade doesn’t miss the way the blonde gives Tori’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

“I want you guys to meet my girlfriend, Grace.”

There is a moment where out of the five of them, four are taken aback for a moment.

Robbie isn’t quite sure he heard right.

Andre can’t say he’s completely surprised, but he is still somewhat shocked.

Beck is worried about Jade.

Jade just stares at Tori, trying to process the information.

Cat, bless her heart, doesn’t let a beat pass before she’s stepping a step forward and shaking the blonde’s - Grace’s - hand.

“Hi I’m Cat!” she says enthusiastically, and it’s clear her actions put both Grace and Tori at ease.

Tori can feel the way Jade’s eyes burn into her, but she refuses to look in her direction, refusing to acknowledge what Jade is trying to convey.

After Cat’s introduction, everyone quickly follows suit, and then there are a thousand questions, and Tori does her best to answer them and make sure nothing falls apart.

Jade is quiet for all of it, her jaw working as she tries to process her emotions, process the new information before her.

Tori has a girlfriend. Tori has a girlfriend. Tori has a girlfriend.

Tori has a girlfriend and it isn’t you.

“I need some air,” Jade says suddenly.

It’s the first time she’s spoken since Tori’s announcement, and it seems like almost everyone notices. Beck is casting her a worried glance and Tori is trying to catch her eye now, but she doesn’t pay attention to either of them, walking with purpose out the door to the back of the building.

Beck watches her go, wondering if he should go after her. But then he feels eyes on him and his gaze shifts to find Tori, eyes filled with concern and eyebrows knitted together in slight confusion. Beck contemplates saying something, or at least giving Tori a look, but Tori seems to make her mind up for the both of them

“I’ll be right back,” she murmurs, squeezing her girlfriend’s arm before she’s following the path Jade just walked.

When she pushes open the door she sees Jade paces a few feet away, her jaw tight as her hands run through her dark hair.

“Jade,” she begins, though she isn’t sure what else to say.

Jade stops immediately at the sound of her voice, head turning to face her.

“You didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend.”

“I didn’t tell anyone in there until now,” Tori reminds her defensively, motioning to the building behind them.

Jade’s jaw sets. “That’s different and you know it.”

Her eyes flare up in - is that hurt? - and Tori feels the pit of her stomach drop. Something about this has shifted their entire dynamic and she knows it. She knows now, not telling Jade beforehand, letting her find out just like everyone else, was a mistake.

“We...this couldn’t go on forever,” Tori tells her, voice a little softer now. “You know that.”

Jade scoffs. “Right.”

She doesn’t look at Tori, instead focusing her attention on the light post not too far away. Tori can’t remember a time when Jade’s felt so far away like this.

“What was I supposed to do?” Tori asks helplessly. “Was I just supposed to wait around for you to come home?”

“Why did we even do this, Tori?” Jade snaps, her eyes blazing. “What the fuck were we doing?”

Tori throws up her hands like it’s obvious. “We had no idea what we were doing, Jade. We graduated, you just broke up with Beck. You were moving to New York.”

Jade looks at her, cold, unmoving.

“So that’s what it was, huh?” Jade asks, her voice eerily thin, a tone that Tori’s never heard from her voice. “I was just the experiment, testing out the waters.”

Now Tori’s the one with the hurt expression.

“No, that’s never what it was.”

“But it was never enough to be anything more,” Jade continues, and Tori notices the way her jaw tightens and how her eyes walk the line between sadness and anger so well. “I wasn’t ever going to be anything more to you.”

“That’s not what it was,” Tori insists, her voice practically begging for Jade to understand.

“But it was never serious?” Jade asks, her voice coming across hard in the air between them. “Not seriously like Grace in there?”

Tori looks at her for a long moment, unable to put her thoughts into a sentence. Jade swallows the lump in her throat.

“Jade.”

They both turn to see Beck by the exit of the building, watching the exchange from there. Tori wonders how long he’s been there, how much he’s heard.

“Fuck off, Beck,” Jade responds, her eyes not leaving Tori.

“Jade come on,” Beck insists. “Before you say something stupid.”

“I don’t need you here,” Jade tells him harshly.

Beck lets out a sigh before he is walking over to Jade, who doesn’t move at all. Tori doesn’t say anything. She only watches as the pain and hurt grows more and more evident on Jade’s face.

There is something she’s missed between them all along.

“Let’s get you home,” Beck says to Jade quietly.

“Leave me alone,” she mutters looking down at her shoes, but her voice breaks and it’s clear to them that this is only going downhill now. 

“Jade,” he says again, this time softly.

There’s a pause and then, “Fine.”

Beck nods, giving Tori one last glance, an apology, before he starts walking Jade to his car. Tori realizes now, Beck knows what this is all about.

Jade turns around after a few steps. Her eyes are shining, but it doesn’t hold her back from speaking.

“You were always more than just a hookup,” she says. “Christ, Tori, you were never just a hook up.”

Tori stands there dumbfounded, watching Jade walk to Beck to his car. Even after they’re long gone, she doesn’t go back inside. She stands there trying to understand how this all went so wrong.

#mine #minific #victorious #tori vega #jade west #jori #jade x tori

[photolover82]

The Masked Singer Season 4 Episode 2: Group B kicking it off... with a twist!! Guesses and Commentary

Hello my fellow Masked Singer guys and gals! It's that time of the week again (albeit I am a bit late, but let's go with it), time for Ana's Masked Singer recap woohoo! *insert fanfare here* This episode was such an insane one not gonna lie, Group B came in with a bang like wow... let's just get into it because it's a crazy episode in it of itself.

Firstly, I gotta point out the contestants of Group B, which this time were 6 unlike A and C which only have 5 contestants total.. and those 6 are (order from left to right, top row first then bottom row in the image below) Crocedile, Gremlin (the purple fluffy guy), Seahorse, Whatchamacallit (the blue and red hair cousin It thing), Baby Alien, and Serpent.

Alrighty so this elimination is gonna be a bit different than usual because it isn't the norm of what usually happens with these sorts of things (I'll tell you what I mean in a sec)...

So the first contestant unmasked for Group B actually wasn't eliminated (I know what you are thinking... "whaaatttt Anaaaaa that makes no sense")... but actually he unmasked himself (whatttt?! yeah you read that right, he legit was hot and suffocating and he seemed super over it and just took it off by himself... yup, that happened like what mind blown!

Anyways the mask who did this was...

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

THE GREMLIN

Performance: He sang Stand by Me by Ben E. King and honestly it was meh, it was really breathy as if he forgot some of the words, I don’t know if he was overcome with emotion (because he dedicated it to his friend who passed away) or what, I felt kind of bad but I low key feel like he was going to go home regardless, but on the bright side I love the costume and it was a great song choice for his range. He has a very raspy voice... like almost like a smoker’s voice and I can kind of tell that he’s an older man, but I couldn’t recognize the singer. 

So the Gremlin ended up being revealed to be.... 

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

MICKEY ROURKE 

Ugh this upsets me because I don’t know who he is so I really couldn’t guess him correctly. I searched it up and apparently he’s an actor and director and was in Iron Man 2, which I’ve never seen like ever. But yeah, he did good, he looked kinda drunk not gonna lie and I guess he was suffocated and got over it. 

Alright now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to my favorite part, the remaining 5 contestants: 

1. THE SEAHORSE

Performance: I really love Seahorse, she’s one of my favorites of the night and so far in the season in general. Her performance of Rihanna’s Only Girl in the World was amazing and I definitely knew who that voice is...

My guess and I am so sure about this guys is singer, songwriter, American Idol alum... 

TORI KELLY 

Dude like that voice is so recognizable... but also because of the clues: 

Emotion Ocean= she’s super emotional when it comes to songwriting, like she legit said in an interview that she cries a lot

Tea Party= she hosted tea parties with her fans in 2019 (well before all this ofc) 

Rainbow Frog= sang Rainbow Connection with Kermit the Frog 

Judges’ Guesses: 

Jenny: Halsey (say what now? This doesn’t sound like her... is Jenny ok? This episode she’s been messing up with guesses more than Ken... you’ll see what I mean) 

Nicole: Hailee Steinfeld (meh, that’s ok I guess, but not quite) 

Robin: Bebe Rexha (he was onto something when he said country but then he said this, but this is the closest guess of the 3)  

2. THE SERPENT 

Performance: This one is my other favorite of this group. His performance of “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” by The Proclaimers was absolutely stunning, I got chills! If it is who I think it is, I love him (partially because I think I know who it can be) 

I think the Serpent can be actor of the iconic Broadway sensation Hamilton aka Aaron Burr, Sir:

LESLIE ODOM JR. 

Dude like I feel pretty good about this guess because of the voice and the clues:

Map of the Caribbean= reference to the beginning of Hamilton where Alexander Hamilton is from

Jr. References= he’s a jr. 

Between medicine & music= he played a doctor on Murder on the Orient Express in 2017

Number 31118 (this was from the Sunday before the premiere but still worth noting)= 3 albums, 11 stage productions, 18 years on Broadway OR bible verse Romans 3:11-18 which was written by Paul, a character he played on Rent

Judges’ Guesses:

Jenny: John Legend (See what I’m saying? Jenny, what are you doing man? That is not John Legend, like they don’t sound alike at all) 

Ken: Daveed Diggs (Wow! Ken got it kinda close, I’m proud, that’s an achievement for him we gotta give it to him) 

Nicole: Leslie Odom Jr. (WOOOO!! Yesss Nicole!!) 👏🏼

3. THE CROCODILE 

Performance: I also really liked Crocodile and his performance of It’s My Life by Bon Jovi was great! I feel like I know who this is, and I am pretty familiar (well, more or less) with 90s and early 2000s boybands and this one is someone in that realm I am so sure of it... 

Ok so being more specific, I think it’s boybander from The Backstreet Boys: 

NICK CARTER 

The voice and the clues were a dead giveaway:

The Vegas vibes in the clue package= he performed in Vegas with Backstreet Boys 

Water clues (the water slide and happiest in water)= he was born in Orlando, FL home of the theme parks and FL is also some of the Gators so it would makes sense with the costume

Grew up in Hollywood= moved there when really young

Judges’ Guesses:

Ken: John Hamm (and he’s back, that was a terrible guess)

Nicole: Nick Lachey (so close, but not quite)

Robin: Donnie Wahlberg (um, Jenny agreed, how does she not know that this ain’t your husband?!) 

4. THE WHATCHAMACALLIT

Performance:  His performance of “I Wish” by Skee-Lo was good, not my favorite, but I didn’t hate it. I am kind of feeling that it’s an athlete due to the height and also how he speaks. 

So this guess is an idea I got from the Internet (subject to change because I have no clue about sports players): 

Rashad Jennings?

The only thing I got from the clues was:

Dancing with Stars= he won DWTS 

Clues IDK

Orange Jelly= ?

The clock with the Bear Mask on the 5= ? 

Swinging Keys= ?

Judges’ Guesses:

Nicole= Swiss Beats (meh idk) 

Ken: Damon Lillard (I like this guess, tbh.. I kinda agree with it being a sports player)

Robin: Tyler the Creator (that would be cool but I don’t think so) 

5. THE BABY ALIEN

Performance: His performance of Faith by George Micheals was good too, better than I expected for the costume ngl. I had pretty low expectations but I am pleasantly surprised. He isn’t my favorite by any means and I am also a bit stumped by him especially because of that fake Russian accent, but I am in between 2 people at the moment....

The 2 people I am in between are either Ventriloquist Jeff Dunham or actor 

JASON SEGEL 

It kinda sounds like him and the clues are a bit confusing but there’s one I understand too:

Tony Awards Reference= he’s been on Broadway 

The mask’s a puppet and Segel is a big fan of puppets (He was also in the Muppets movie) 

CLUES IDK 

Space clues= ?

Friends Reference (2nd Gear)= ?

Ferris Beuller references= ?

Judges’ Guesses:

Jenny: Ralph Macchio (meh I guess that’s good) 

Nicole: David Schwimmer (not bad, but idk it doesn’t really sound like it)

Ken: Freddie Prinze Jr. (ya, no) 

Alright so that’s it! I am so sorry for it being late, but better late than never... I’ve been pretty busy so hopefully this weekend I will have tonight’s episode recap up... THANK YOU FOR READING AND I WILL SEE YOU IN THE NEXT ONE *blows kiss* byeeee! 

#mickey rourke #the masked singer #masked singer season 4 #gremlin mask

[quinntessentiallyglee]

Jade M!A: You are unable to say the word No, or hold scissors, until you say something nice about Tori, Trina, Cat, and yourself.

Jade: That’s Bullshiz! I don’t care if you are “Magic”, you can’t stop me from saying Nnnn-... Nnnn-...  NNNN-

Quinn: Is this your first M!A? I’d say welcome to the club, but-

Jade: I don’t want to be part of your stupid club. I want to find whoever’s behind this and take my scissors an-OW! *drops scissor* What the Hell?

Rachel: *enters the room, looks at the scissors sticking up from the floor* Magic Anon?

Quinn: Magic Anon. She can’t say ‘No’ or touch her scissors until she says nice things about a bunch of people from her verse. At least I think they’re from her verse. I know they aren’t from here.

Jade: *kneeling next to her scissors, eyes the handle while flexing her fingers* Can you stop talking about me like I’m not here?

Quinn: At least you got to keep your clothes on.

Dani: *enters the room*, looks at Jade, the scissors, then Quinn and Rachel* Magic Anon?

Quinn/Rachel: *nod* Magic Anon.

Jade: Instead of repeating the same thing over and over, why don’t you do something useful, like fixing this bullshiz!

Dani: What are the terms?

Rachel: She has to say nice things about Tori and some others before she’s allowed to touch her scissors or say ‘No’.

Dani: *winces* Ouch. No wonder she’s in a mood. At least she got to-

Jade: Keep my clothes. Yes, yay me. *sarcastically waves her hands in cheer*  Now tell me what I need to do to fix this!

Rachel: We already did. And do did your Magic Anon.

Jade: Nnnn- Shiz! Not going to happen.I won’t.

Quinn: *to Rachel* How did you know Tori was one of them?

Rachel: Hmm? Oh, it’s obvious. Jades got a crush on her and won’t admit it, so of c-

Jade: I do not have a crush on Vega! *reaches for the handles os her scissors. They start to glow red hot*

Rachel/Quinn/Dani: ... Yeah...

Rachel: Maybe don’t burn the apartment down?

Dani: or hurt yourself.

Rachel: Yes, that too. Obviously.

Jade: I like pain.

Quinn: Then you should love the pain of saying something nice about your friends.

Jade: They aren’t my friends! ... Okay, Cat is, but Vega definitely isn’t, and there’s nnnn- Dammit!

Dani: *bends down and pulls the scissors out of the floor with a dull -thunk- sound, quickly back-pedals away as Jade tries to grab them.

Dani: Yeah, no. I’m not getting burned because you’re a stubborn bi-

Rachel: Dani!

Dani: Bi. I was going to say Bi.

Jade: Give me back my scissors!

Quinn/Rachel: *stand in front of Dani*

Quinn” Trust me, I hate this shiz as much as you, but the only way you’re getting out from under this curse is by giving in to it.

Jade: Never!

Rachel: And that’s your choice. You can always wait it out afte-

Quinn: No she can’t?

Rachel: She can’t?

Jade: I can too!

Quinn: There’s no time limit on this one. You think I’d tell her to give in if she could wait it out instead?

Rachel: Oh.

Dani: Ouch.

Jade: ... *sighs* Fine. But I’m only doing this because I have nnn- *growls* because I don’t have any other choice. Got it?

Dani/Rachel/Quinn: *nod*

Jade: *sighs, grumbles something about ‘stupid magic anons’ and ‘regret the day they were born’* Cat is my best friend, even if she drives me up a wall sometimes, Trina is always good for a laugh, even if she doesn’t mean to be, Vega- Tori is... okay, I guess. Now give me my scissors.

Dani/Rachel/Quinn: *exchange glances*

Rachel: I’m not sure that counts as nice.

Jade: What are you talking about? Of course it was nice. You think I’d say any of that if I wasn’t under an actual magical curse?

Dani: She has a point.

Quinn: Easy way to find out. *to Jade*: Say ‘no’

Jade: N-nnnn *a look of horror spreads across her face* What the actual f-

Quinn: Wait! I just remembered. She needs to say something nice about herself too.

Rachel: Really? This is an unusually moral building anon.

Quinn: I know. I’m almost jealous.

Dani: Really?

Quinn: ... Forget I said that. I take it back! It doesn’t count!

Rachel: Fingers crossed Quinn.

Jade: If you all done talking amongst yourselves... I say something nice about myself and I’m done? Everything goes back to normal?

Dani: Well, as normal as anything around here ever gets. Yeah.

Rachel: Assuming that what you said about your friends counts as nice, that is.

Quinn: *waves her hand in the 50/50 gesture*

Jade: Fine: I’m an excellent director. 

Jade/Rachel/Dani/Quinn: *pause*

Dani: Did that-

Jade: No!

Jade: *laughs*

Jade: No! No? No. No! No. No.

Jade: *grabs her scissors from Dani* And now, some anon-hunting. *leaves room, snicking her scissors with every step*

Dani: How long till she gets cursed again?

Rachel: Within the week.

Quinn: *snorts* Please, with that attitude, I give her 24 hours, tops. I just hope the next anon is as focused on her as this one was.

Rachel/Dani: Quinn!

Quinn: What?

Dani: Are you trying to jinx us?

Rachel: Honestly, Quinn. After all the anons we’ve been through, I’d think you’d know better by now.

#anon #M!A anon #asked and answered #ooc: muse #m:Jade #m:Quinn #m:Rachel #m:Dani #verse: Apartment

[poppyseedxx]

FINALLY CHAPTER 8 IS HERE!

Chapters: 8/? Fandom: Victorious (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Underage Relationships: Tori Vega/Jade West Characters: Tori Vega, Jade West, Beck Oliver, Cat Valentine, Erwin Sikowitz, Andre Harris, Robbie Shapiro, Rex Powers, Trina Vega Additional Tags: Coming Out, LGBTQ Character, Bisexual Jade West, Hurt/Comfort, Jade has abandonment issues, Love Confessions, break ups, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, References to the Beatles, Self-Esteem Issues, Sexual Tension, Eventual Sex, Kink Exploration Summary: When Jade's father kicks her out of the house for coming out to him as bisexual, she finds herself at Tori Vega's front door of all places in the world. She is looking for acceptance and comfort, but she finds a lot more than that later down this painful road.

#finally updated this fic #omfg guys #jori #jade west x tori vega #femslash february #was able to type this out with a stitched hand be proud #will be updating other fics #yall my hand doesn't even hurt #i'll probably regret this later tho