#cannot choose ough

[synthshenanigans]

Literally some of my favorite songs rn especially instrumental wise I am ruined

Instrumental Links:

Not Perfect

Light

[Reblog for more of a sample size if you'd like]

#i love these two songs so much tho #both lyric & instrumental wise #cannot choose ough #chonny jash #chonnys charming chaos compendium #cj tmph #moss polls

[eff-plays]

What is it that you struggle with in the vanilla durge story?

OUGH I just about stopped bleeding followers, now I'm gonna start again.

Oh well RIP in piss me 😔 You're my sweet cheese though so I'll answer 💖

Basically I find that Durge (as far as I know) actually having a pretty good time before Orin put a worm in his dome undercut a lot of the "oughough I'm struggling against my nature" storyline they're going for. Because Durge never chose to try to leave before being forced to, him attempting to redeem himself basically happened by chance, without any sort of motivation. And that makes sense for a video game character with amnesia, but that's where the "set backstory" clashes against player choice. What in-universe reason does Durge even have for trying to resist his urges? Just like ... an innate feeling of wanting to be good? But why? How? If he's made from Bhaal's flesh, why is that instinct even there at all? If he's a thinking independent being, why didn't he try to leave before Orin did the worm thing?

I'm not even particularly against the Urge itself, even if the way its presented is very edgy and juvenile at times. But the fact that it's implied the Urge was SO strong before but now is just gone and been replaced with a new personality just doesn't mesh with me.

Either Durge had some agency before and chose to be a serial killer horny for murder, and that's why his not remembering shit makes it possible for him to prioritize doing good now that his Urges are suppressed/forgotten. OR he's Bhaal's own flesh and the Urge is an intristic part of him and he physically cannot comprehend doing good.

But because the player needs to be able to choose whether to indulge or redeem Durge, why Durge is choosing/capable of doing good is left to the player. And that just doesn't mesh with the backstory they set up. The Urge was so strong before that he was gleefully a serial killer, but now it's so weak that he's able to resist? Why? What changed? Why was there a personality below the Urge at all? What use does Bhaal have of a puppet who is, on some level, able to think for themself? And if Durge was always able to think for himself, why didn't he rebel sooner? Well, because what if the player wants to play Evil!Durge, then it wouldn't make sense for Durge to rebel in his backstory!

My friend said it's basically a factory reset, and that's what's bothering me. It's unmotivated, it's chance, it's not Durge acting on his own accord. Larian are trying to have their cake (protag with a set background) and eat it too (protag is vaguely enough defined that you can just insert your own motivations into them).

Idk ... Does that make sense? It's a very difficult sort of incongruence to explain, so I'm sorry if I rambled a bunch and said fuck-all.

I'm considering making Phoebus into a classic Bhaalspawn from the previous games, but I'd have to do a bit of research to make that work.

#bg3 #durge critical #i guess?? #bleh #i don't actually care if ppl play durge or anything #i'm not actually like 'DURGE SUCKS' or whatever #it's just like a personal issue i have with the way it's presented #so if it work for you? great! #you're lucky cuz you get way more in-game and fandom content! #and that's not me being sarcastic it's just an observation #i would love to join but it just doesn't do it for me

[cassyapper]

i am so curious about your pucci thoughts...

I AM SO FUCKING SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO GET TO THIS ASK OH MY FUCKING GOD my life has been crazy lately but still i am So Sorry

okay so basically i love pucci we have to kill him. here is a list of my thoughts in no particular order

he makes me so ill like genuinely he is one of the most well written jojo characters ever and DEFINITELY the most well written villain. like holy shit. i think a lot about how weather said the evilest of people are those who think they are good and how that relates to pucci oh my GOD it makes me sick. pucci like many villains are a "ends justify the means" kinda guy like while he was cruel at many points i truly think he was jsut like, yes this is a moment of weakness but it wont matter because im going to fix it. i think aobut how he really thought he was going to save everyone. he was going to save perla. he was going to save dio. he was going to save himself. and thinking baout things from his side, like, oh my god. dio was his only friend. we the audience know that dio groomed him (not necessarily sexually but still grooming) and even though dio did seem to grow to truly care for pucci, he didnt care enough to not use him for his plan to restart the world -- but PUCCI didnt know that. im sure he had inklings and feelings like he's not NAIVE, im sure he KNEW dio was using him at SOME point, but it wouldnt change the fact dio still eventually saw him and was his friend either way. it wouldnt change the fact that he would do this one thing for his only friend, even if his only friend BECAME his friend in the first place just to make him fulfill this task. god dio and pucci's relationship is so insane i hate hate hate that people boil it down to just shipping LIKE THERE WAS RESENTMENT THERE WAS ANGER THERE WAS SO MUCH LOVE AND HALF OF IT WAS LOVE FOR WHAT THE OTHER COULD DO FOR HIM INSTEAD OF JUST HIM HIMSELF . LIKE FUCK'S SAKE im sick of ppl putting a romantic spin on everything and YES this is half me being aromatnic but also COME ON. and that's not even getting into the fact dio and pucci's relationship is supposed to parallel jolyne and jotaro's/jolyne and jonathan's. but anyway

god he loved his sister so much man it makes me sick he jsut wanted her safe man. after everything....i choose to believe his final thoughts were of perla. it's why he was begging for everything he did to have meant SOMETHING -- please let if have meant perla got a good life in whatever universe the world will end up in. i like to believe she did. he won't be there to see it. oh god he wont be there ot see it. fuck. maybe that was for the best in his mind anyway

his drama and tragedy aside he's also the funniest guy in the entire world. why the hell is a catholic priest wearing gucci. well i guess that answers the question but still. he is so fucking funny he is not even subtle about it he is LITERALLY like EOUGH DONT TOUCH MY EXPENSIVE DESIGNER PANTS and then he kicks a cop to his death for it. he's so fucking funny i love him so much. i love that whitesnake is independent enough to have its own personality and he and pucci get into spats sometimes OS FUCKING FUNNY. MFW I ARGUE WITH MY OWN SOUL.

also my disdain for shipping culture aside i cannot deny that pucci is a homophobic homosexual. he and jotaro totally banged a couple times and awkwardly called it off when pucci first sees jotaro's birthmark and he's like oh no. SO FUCKING FUNNY

ugh sorry i jsut want to go back to this point he's so smart he's so Aware of how people work and connect he's always had a fine sense for it (do you believe in gravity...) OUGH like there's no WAY HE DIDN'T KNOW DIO WAS USING HIM BUT HE STILL LOVED DIO AND I THINK BEYOND THAT. I THINK HE TRUY BELIEVED WHAT DIO WAS SAYING. I THINK HE TRULY BELIEVED OKAY EVEN IF DIO HAS HIS OWN MOTIVES HERE, THIS END IS JSUT. SO I WILL KEEP FOLLWOING ALONG. LIKE. I. i truly think he thought this would save everyone, especially perla. ohuogh my god PUCCIIIIIIIIIIIII

in short, he makes me sick we have to kill him. i like him a lot

#cass cries

[frodo-with-glasses]

I have question!

So have you seen this tumblr post about Merry and Pippin's memory of Frodo beginning to fade as they get older after he leaves for Valinor? Okay, now you have.

So now in the Magnolia AU, what do you think their relationship would look like with Frodo choosing to stay in the Shire, in Middle Earth? How often do they see each other? Do they feel sort of distant from him, wanting to reach out and help him but knowing there's nothing they can really do for him, since they don't really know what he went through, not the way Sam does? I just- OUGH I get emotional about this either way 😭

“Of course we did not get so far as they did, but we have heard the stories. We know something of what they saw. Merry helped to slay the Witch King, after all, and I…well, I…”

“And Pip met Sauron himself, in the Palantir. We’re not ignorant. Of course Sam was with him the whole way. That has well earned him his place as Frodo’s dearest friend. But after Sam, no one else in the Shire understands what he’s endured as well as we do. And we do what we can.”

“That’s right! We’ve our own business in Tuckborough and Buckland, after all, and we cannot go to Hobbiton as often as we’d like. But we know Frodo will be ill in October and March, and we put forward our best efforts then. And—and they do the same for us, when they can.”

“I—er. Well, it’s not…”

“Speak up, Mer, they can’t hear you.”

“I…I recall that last year, Sam came to visit Brandy Hall just before the anniversary of Pelennor, and he saw to it that Estella and Theo were cared for while I was ill. I feel I’ve yet to repay him that debt. That is what it’s like. We four Travellers, we look after one another.”

“Precisely. If Frodo is thin during his ill spells, it is not for the lack of food or drink in Bag End. I shall always see to that.”

“Perhaps our memories shall falter as we age. Such is the lot of old-timers. They have much to remember, and cannot keep it all in, sometimes. But we are not yet old, and we shan’t forget a friend. Not one for whom we have sacrificed so much.”

“That’s right! We love him dearly, don’t we, Mer?”

“That we do.”

- - - -

MAGNOLIA AU ASK GAME!

#magnolia ask game #peregrin took #pippin #meriadoc brandybuck #merry #lord of the rings #lotr #my art #fig tree au #magnolia au #it is so weird to draw pippin looking more grown up #i feel like he would’ve lost the baby face eventually but it is WEIRD TO LOOK AT #he looks stretched. (like butter scraped over too much bread) #string bean pippin

[quantumshade]

🔥favorite and least favorite doctor who episodes (if you can choose at all lol)

OUGH this is hard... can i do top five and bottom five maybe

bottom five:

let's kill h*tler. do i need to explain this one? i don't think i need to explain this one

spyfall part 2. i don't think i need to explain this one either.

girl in the fireplace. i know that's the one my pfp is from. rose is just so pretty in it. anyway. it's a poorly written episode that gets way too much praise, not to mention just how painfully ooc everyone is. you can really feel how much moffat hates rose in that one. and also it feels so gross when you think about how the real madame de pompadour was groomed from age 6 to be a king's consort and basically allowed no agency in her life whatsoever, coupled with moffat's weird obsession with "someone meets the doctor as a little kid and grows up to be obsessed with him" is so painfully... icky.

kill the moon. outside of being an awful episode with a weirdly anti abortion message, it's the episode that made SO MANY PEOPLE give up on my baby girl twelve. if you stopped watching twelve because of that episode i'm begging you on my knees to give him another shot his era is so so good other than a couple stinkers.

legend of the sea devils. i cannot even begin to express my sheer hatred for this episode. everything about it sucks so so bad and i'm beating it with hammers in my mind 24/7. it's just everything i hate about the chibnall era coalesced into one steaming pile of dogshit.

top five:

heaven sent. sorry to be basic but. heaven sent. i love it so much it's so perfect. and reading it through a classics lens makes it even better. i'm planning on doing the capstone for my degree (partly) on this episode as a modern representation of katabasis. the acting, the music, rachel talalay's directing, g-d. it's so good.

dalek. honestly every single one of nine's episodes fuck so hard and i don't dislike a single one of them. but eccleston really acted his ass off in this one and it's such a wonderful exploration of the doctor's time war trauma. it's the only episode that manages to make daleks scary. rose is amazing in it. "it's not the one pointing a gun at me" and "and what about you, doctor? what the hell are you changing into?" "oh rose. they're all dead" OUGHHHH. the ending hits so fucking hard.

mummy on the orient express. i think i'm legally obligated to put this one on my top five because i have watched it nearly a dozen times this year alone. it's such a good episode. great monster. clara and the doctor both get to be incredibly bisexual. it's the one episode of doctor who in which the phrase "sex machine" exists. what more could you possibly ask for.

the christmas invasion. it's sooooo good it's so good. it's tied with the husbands of river song as my favorite christmas special, but it's higher on my list of Overall Episodes. if that makes sense. again rose is incredible in it. david tennant makes the entrance of all time. they're so in love and so fucking stupid about it. song for ten... well i woke up today... and the world was a restless plaaaace.... it could have been that way for me........

the pilot. bill is gorgeous and perfect and wonderful. twelve being a wacky professor was the best choice anyone has ever made. it's like a crash course in doctor who but also a fun and well made episode with absolutely gorgeous music. i love it i love it i love it. murray gold put the s10 soundtrack on spotify right now.

it's so hard limiting myself to just five... i'm sure i'll think of an episode tomorrow and be like DAMN that should have been on the list... but that's okay <3

#i wanted to put turn left on the top 5 list because i truly love it #but i don't rewatch it as much as the other ones because it makes me sad </3 #doctor who #send me a 🔥 and a topic and i’ll say an unpopular opinion

[tiredassmage]

It's that time again - update rambles time kdfnalsdfnsd. The short version is, overall, I'm really pleased with this update, but there's... at least one thing missing that did sort of derail me in the end and I'll still need to go back and play it pubside on my Trooper, which I think I might enjoy slightly more for... cohesion of a story's sake, but that's. a) getting a bit into the actual ramble and b) getting my personal blorbo feelings involved which is absolutely what I do here but, let me do it in the right place, lmao.

Mechanically, this was. a really sweet update to me. There's lots of doing in progressing through the story part. The fights are engaging, the action is selling. It doesn't play like a bunch of run to checkpoint x, do y, hand in z, which is very nice. There's. actually a few things to consider. Comparing to 7.2 in Showdown, the action isn't just in the cutscenes this time - it's definitely there, too, I have plenty of nice action shots to add to the blasters out collection, lol - but it's also in the gameplay, at least from my take, so! I've really no complaints from a gameplay perspective thus far.

I haven't worked on any of the dailies or done the little follow up with Lane or whatnot yet because I sort of had my fill with the story for the day and I wanted to check out some of the lighting changes in other parts of the game, hehe! So, might run into other things later, but we'll see.

I also love seeing locations from earlier in the game making a comeback. The little hints here and there are enough to be exciting for me - though I see some people saying missed opportunity to do things with Jorgan and Corso and I will more than likely agree with that. I'd always be a sucker for more references.

Petra's really cool. I love her. Loved meeting her and working with her. As a local Imperial Agent enjoyer, I think it's only natural to say I do love the sneak and spy elements of this update, lol.

I got a lot of what I could've ever hoped to ask for out of this update. I'm just... missing the saboteur options? Which... really threw me at the end. There's at least a place or two that it felt exactly where those sort of options should've come up, but there's at least no directly labeled sight of them around, which is... jarring given Tyr's extensive history as a double agent for the Republic.

It's... a really tricky situation to deal with on Ord though, so that's. how I'm choosing to sort of interpret that one. There are some areas that felt a little too tight on strictly Imperial loyalty for how I typically play him, so it's. It's jarring, in short. One of my disappointment areas, I have to admit. I haven't done any of the dailies, but it looks like it'll end up being interpreted as Imperial support either way - which, fair, I'm playing an impside character, I know, but the lines were very clear on Ossus for where that saboteur option was involved and they even appeared on Manaan. I'm still hoping to see that storyline go somewhere even though there feels like there's a lot of moving parts on the board at the moment.

SO. With that said, onto my giggles and other miscellaneous references because it seems the last several story updates have thematically been reflective and reference-pockmarked for me, lol.

I cannot tell you the way I squealed with excitement to see these two in frame and actually doing something like cooperating.

And also the way I am, once again, haunted by being an Imperial Agent girlie. Because all I can think of in this is Double agent. Triple agent. Do you even know whose lies you're telling anymore?

Primarily, of course, my own feelings about blorbo who's been in the spy business for literally about half his lifetime and a double agent for maybe half of that - now he's going to balance being a double for the Republic with working with Sa'har? Ough. Tyr, babe. I hope you know what you're doing.

He wants to help her. He's wanted to from the start. Sa'har's I'm not sure I -want- to leave, speaking to that I'm not sure I can leave a job unfinished that Tyr is so, so painfully familiar with experiencing. Maybe he's got fleece over his eyes because of his own complicated feelings about working in unseen ways, but he does believe her.

ALSO THIS GIRL. NEARLY GIVIN ME A HEART ATTACK. GIRL I LIKED YOU DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT. Anyway. I love her. I love. Again, one of the most hilarious dialogue wheels you could give this man is I'm no traitor (lie, you've been once since you were in your late twenties, and you're like, what 46ish? It's been a long time since Hutta, agent) / I don't work with traitors (another lie, you're still kissing Theron Shan [Tyr. argues that doesn't count which is the only reason this is the option I went with] / and [Attack]

And then I won't be normal about him taking option 2 and dropping "I'd like to believe I've always been fighting for something greater."

I'm fine. I'm sure I'm fine. [Girl who is constantly plagued by the emotional agonies of maining a double agent.]

ANYWAY. Or perhaps also on that note. Krovos getting a little sharp about his misplaced priorities. Nothing comes of it. Yet. But it's enough to keep my brain stew going and bubbling about the weight of it all.

And it's just. so very Tyr to throw himself in the line of fire trying to keep people he meant to keep out of overcomplicating situations safe.

And I am, overall, just a sucker for the way this update brings it back to... I guess grass roots, you could say. Grounding the story in what's actually happening to places like Ord Mantell, brushing with some of the consequences on people in general - the Hidden Chain stealing supplies, possibly moving people, even, or at least their allies might be - sells the big story in the end, I think. Otherwise, the big, vague prophetic 'the fate of the galaxy sets on your shoulder' doesn't really settle as much. This might be what you're fighting for, or it might be what you're costing along the way. And I just like having that connective tissue that is 'they're here for supplies;' they're rebuilding and moving forward with plans after Ruhnuk, and Malgus's threat that all things will still unfold according to a plan is still lingering around.

[Also, Rass people. The flirts. wtf I love it. They're adorable.]

And I really am just. Such a hopeless sucker for scenes like this. A little slice of just being people in between all the galactic turmoil and heroics.

So, I've still got a fair amount of things to be chewing on! Once I'm through this last week of finals stuff, I'll expect I'll hop on TrooperTyr and go. redamage my emotions further and play it pubside and have a whole other whirlwind of emotions about how he handles it too dlfknsadlkf;sld. For now, time to pop some screenshots into the queue! ^.^

OH. ALSO. Kessing's Landing is fucking beautiful.

#dot talk #swtor spoilers #swtor 7.4 #spoilers #swtor chains in the dark

[yuukei-yikes]

just rewatched mekakucity actors and. kano really just goes whole haruka on ene just because she said "someone gotta take care of shintaro" to TAKANE as her last words. my man kano just got triggered the moment she said shintaro and last word together 😭 AFTER ALL THE FUSS TOO HES LIKE "sorry for doing that but u were talking really stupid" ??? chill man get this dude therapy ene had a heartattack for no reason </3

EXACTLY I KNOW

kano is SO FUCKING MEAN TO ENE and it's never acknowledged😭 Kano's literally like u were just saying stupid shit and it pissed me off❤️ the stupid shit in question was ene telling him abt her feelings of herself dying and her 2 best friends dying and not wanting her third best friend to meet the same fate. THAT'S what was stupid and insensitive to kano. this bit in the anime has always annoyed me bc it moves kano from being morally gray to just being a full on asshole

like he already has these asshole tendencies to shintaro, but since kano acknowledges that shintaro doesn't deserve it and is a good person and kano's just being unfair, it doesn't feel the same. like kano's been in a situation out of his control since he's a kid and repeatedly keeps losing everyone he loves, he's trying to protect his family and simmering in his own guilt because of some really tough decisions that weren't really decisions. and he's just been so alone keeping horrible secrets to protect everyone and like. yeah he chooses shintaro to take it out on. it's not fair ofc but u can understand why kano does it and like i said KANO ACKNOWLEDGES that he's been unfair and shintaro's a really good guy

but the same isnt done for takane... i know its just a bit in the anime and the anime isn't particularly known for being Good at all but THE BRUSH OFF is insane. "u were just saying stupid shit" "ok ill forgive u cuz im older" like DAMN!!! and kano's also super rude to takane in his pov in the novels so it's worse. idk. like damn

ough its such an interesting bit too kano and takane have so much potential for being best friends but also for having an antagonistic relationship.... kano hating shintaro&takane basically just because they're too nice is rly funny. kano hates shintaro bc he likes him and he hates takane because she's like him but nice.

the post str conflict that scene could bring to kano&takane because takane forgave him and kano's overthinking like omg she's trying to be the bigger person ugh this is because im such an asshole etcetc like kano is hating himself and so focused on mirroring himself on takane that he thinks her easygoing attitude has ulterior motives and/or resentment and takane's just fucking living her life. kano trying rly hard to figure takane out bc she's a lot like him but there's something about her he just cannot decipher. that something is that takane is genuinely just really nice, and she forgave kano bc she felt like it, and yeah it sucked he did that but she knows what he's been going through and well whatever life goes on. this attitude is insane to kano so he keeps trying to make sense of her and he can't lol. takane is like kano in a lot of ways but he can't realise that she is EASYGOING something he's always Acted as but actually Isn't so he's like !?!?!??!

#takane's easygoing about everything but haruka and since most of her pov revolves around haruka #shes very easily mischaracterised #and even when it comes to haruka she's still pretty normal lmao she's just being stupid. #i wish she was judged by her other moments too like ene is takane bro. ene IS takane. #ask tag #kagenalysis #takane enomoto #kano shuuya

[battle-of-the-jrwi-aus]

ELDRITCHSTRINGS AU!

Creator: @burning-sol

Links:

Summary!

After Rumi being met with a reality incongruous with the one they has envisioned, Rumi makes the unprecedented choice to part ways with Thanatos, taking Peter with them. Put in the position of now being reliant on Peter's unwanted co-host; Exandroth and Rumi develop an unexpected bond, for better or for worse (but mostly for worse).

Additional Propaganda

OKAY LIKE LISTEN. LISTEN OOKAY OKAY SHHH LET ME. LET ME PULL YOU IN CLOSE. I am sorry I'm sorry for submitting themst but I'm so deranged abt them okay okayy I'm SO deranged. How do I even put into words. There's just so much about this au that I could rave on about, different moments, different themes, ough.

Well I guess, first off, I really like the conflict of the story that is just INEVITABLE based on the circumstances. By changing the structure of the group, you foresee the worst things to happen that *will* happen because it's unavoidable. You make the group rampantly dependant on two people getting along? Watch them find a way to cooperate <- but then watch the conflict play out between angel and host because they cannot exist at the same time <- watch how this reflects on the morality of the third <- see the false pretenses unravel until the inevitable confrontation with their former comrade where it has been rendered undeniable what the alignment and goal of our main cast, is regardless of if they say it aloud.

Something else is that I, generally, really like is any opportunity to drag out the uglier sides of Rumi, and here it really hits its stride. By being in the presence of something that's worse than what Rumi is, and by giving Rumi a degree of anonymity, it presents a scenario where Rumi could commit to things that Rumi would never think to do in canon. It leaves open opportunities for dialogues where Rumi can be flawed, because Exandroth will always be more flawed than Rumi. And Rumi can always feel afforded the right to blame Exandroth and call her heinous, cruel, to make Exandroth the scapegoat, because Exandroth is already sickening. Rumi can be allowed to take another step lower, because Exandroth will be there at the bottom, though Rumi refuses to address their sheer descent.

The confrontation with Zuen is a confrontation with what Rumi and Exandroth were meant to be, and what they are instead, and confronting what they have done to reach where they are. In canon, this confrontation was triumphant and subversive of what the narrative had meant to be, but here there is such little hope and a straight path ahead towards a tragic ending. In this way, Zuen is bored. He got what he wanted, he got to see the bloodshed and betrayal he'd projected, but it's predictable and unexciting. Just to zoom out the frame and put things into perspective, like, what WAS this narrative about? What WAS the value of this text? Is there some tangible message we can come away with? Or do we just look back at all we have done and recoil in disgust and fear of our own attrocities.

Zuen dies but not before constructing a fight where Rumi and Exandroth have to see what they've done and know now, if not already clear by their decision to cut down Thanatos, that they are choosing to commit to something awful. They have systematically shut down the external voices that could contradict them, and whatever mocking last words Zuen has for them will be the last. Was it worth it? (No.)

Anyways, I was going to type more for this but looking back I am so tired so just believe me bro, my au is so good.

#eldritchstrings au #au propaganda

[houndofmay]

having thoughts ough i think the world is so cruel and no one needs empathy to be good but people who preach about being good people and how u need empathy to be good or a person at all are usually the ones who lack it . empathy to them is only good if you have it for people they deem are good if its anyone else youre just as bad as them or ur a monster . people no matter what they do , are still people . you cannot take away their humanity just to separate urself from them , just to let everyone know you would NEVER do something like that . u dont have to do that , it doesnt fix anything . people cannot help how they are made , but they can help what they do about it . what makes you good is not what thoughts / feelings / desire you have its not at all about them being pure and good but how you decide to deal with them . people who feel they have no options will choose to take whatever option they can make out of the circumstances theyre made to live with . there should still be punishment but if people focused more on rehab and HELPING people who are clearly fucking struggling we wouldnt have to punish people as much . i think the world is so cruel but it does not have to be , it really does not have to be . people have to understand that you dont have to get rid of bad thoughts sometimes that might not ever happen and its okay , you might not ever be free of it but youre allowed to live a kind life youre allowed to have the pain ease youre allowed to exist with it and learn how to cope with them so you dont hurt others and yourself . its just so frustrating .

#im just OUGHG #makes me so irritated when people get mad at people who are obviously UNWELL . finding home in people who struggled with similar things #who could not get help who were not listened to #I WONDER WHY PEOPLE CARE SO MUCH ABT THESE GUYS #whatever #ripping my hair out #love anf light guys

[neolxzr]

i had ur post about twt stuff reccomended 2 me and ough. ive never been on twitter and i love aira sm what the hell are they saying about him over there.

sorry if this gets long this topic bothers me so much dghfk the first part actually answers your question anon the rest is just me ranting

amen to you for never looking at twitter but basically theres a lot of people on enstars twitter who HATE aira. it depends on the person but its usually some variation of "he's racist." ive seen several people on twitter get harrassed and have to go private over making tweets that boiled down to "aira is fine actually." there are people who like him on there but i get the consensus that hating him is a very normal and accepted opinion to have

there is one interaction of aira's that i think is bad and choose to ignore like most enstars fans do with at least one of their favorite characters because sometimes the writing sucks lol. like most people choose to ignore all of the weird transphobic comments towards naru that their favs have made but apparently aira isnt allowed that same treatment? lol

but in general the way he's treated over there bothers me for a couple of reasons

1) stop drawing conclusions about characters when you havent fucking read their stories!!!! i know for a fact that most people who hate aira haven't even read most of the main story or feather touch or any story that talks about his character and just take what other people say about him at face value and its annoying. also they just disregard his growth as a character entirely 2) most people take a very western centric view when looking at him so they disregard his struggle with being mixed race because they dont think hes like. oppressed enough? when most people dont understand how different the culture in japan is and how it might actually affect him (again. read his stories please) 3) aira is like. 15. and yes, he is mean sometimes. he is a child. the way he acts is pretty normal teenager behavior, especially for someone who is written as being really insecure 4) he is not real!!!! you cannot ask a fictional character to take accountability for their actions because he is not going to make an apology video about it

this goes back to the thing i was saying in my other post about twitter's weird obsession with having the moral highground when it doesnt matter at all. liking an anime character is like the least harmful thing ever and trying to police what characters are ok to like isnt social justice grahfghdj

TLDR twitter loves calling aira racist and i think its really annoying, reductive of his character, and kind of just plain wrong, but its a really good example of twitter users feeling the need to try and be morally superior to other people for no reason over stupid things

#cryn answers #anon #sorry for how long this is shfjghdg #i didnt even get into people hating hiiai #same sort of thing aira is racist to hiiro and aira is an awful person etc #like read any alkaloid story and youll understand that isnt true and also you are not protecting hiiro by hating aira #hiiro LOVES aira. he mentions him in every other sentence #whatever. anyway

[flowers-of-io]

Dunno if you read my tags on that recent Light v Dark post yet BUT… I think the idea of Savathûn becoming a Lightbearer as the (current) penultimate example of the Traveler / the Light favouring complexity-change-growth-expansion would be very interesting to you. Of Savathûn literally rejecting simplicity by ridding herself of her worm in favour of choosing complexity / the Light and the Light in turn choosing her. 👀

I'm!!!!! You're SO right about the whole thing but these tags especially smacked me in the face because. ouGH.

I'm terminally sick about the fact that the Light is all about choice. The Winnower says about the Gardener:

That wandering refugee chose to make a stand, spend their power to say: "Here I prove myself right. Here I wager that, given power over physics and the trust of absolute freedom, people will choose to build and protect a gentle kingdom ringed in spears. And not fall to temptation. And not surrender to division. And never yield to the cynicism that says, everyone else is so good that I can afford to be a little evil."

It's all about giving you a gift and letting you choose what to do with it--all by yourself, out of your free will. All this talk about the Traveler choosing Guardians, the Young Wolf being "Traveler's Chosen", and yet you must first choose to be chosen! Light is a reckless gift because the Gardener wagers you will use it well, even (and maybe especially) if you don't remember making the choice to accept it. Nokris says in Arrivals, "Give and be given. Take and be Taken.", and this--this is exactly what is required, only this: devotion that births bravery that births sacrifice--this ultimate offering of giving yourself up for someone else...

And yes, yes, this is exactly why Immaru chose Savathûn!!!!! I'm INSANE over the fact the Traveler showed her the vision of her death--"I saw the end before it happened"--when she was still in the crystal. It knew her so well!!! It knew her nature had always been cunning and insight and--quoting Savathûn herself here--"ignorance keeps, knowledge usurps". Savathûn, who after millennia of serving the Deep had still been wary of the Logic, because she had not found that strict, eternal proof it was right. Savathûn who fed on people's failed guesses about her, who flipped the absolute shit when we dared assume we knew her.

And what the Traveler did was smack the ultimate lesson about trust into her and tell her she would never know!!!! She would never be sure!!!!! If there's an answer, I don't hear it!!!!!!! BECAUSE NOW THE WORLD BEGINS TO FADE!!!!! And it fucks me up so much because then in the Altar of Reflection Savathûn says, "I didn't want to die, you know. I had always wanted to live." One of the first things we learn about her, back when she was Sathona, is her mortifying fear of death. She says about the forst year of sailing with her sisters, "these are the happiest years of my life", and RIGHT AFTER THAT writes: "I want to be a mother not because I want to spawn but because I want a long life. Long enough to make a difference. We have been at sea a year and I am afraid, afraid we will die out here." This is what prompted her to dive, that they were running out of time and she was almost too old to eat the mother jelly. More time. More life.......

AND SHE STILL CHOSE TO GO THROUGH WITH IT. DESPITE NOT BEING SURE. DESPITE RISKING EVERYTHING.

My feelings about Sav outright asking the Traveler to save her, submitting to it, calling herself a supplicant, are a whole 'nother can of worms entirely, but--again--CHOICE.

I love your notion that she gave it all up to have a choice--not only to side with the Light, but also in the broader sense, to be free to make her own fate.

And we should mention too how insane a wager the Traveler was making here. This woman had stalked it for billions of years! This woman who cannot be trusted, who feeds on deceit, who had once stood for everything the Traveler is genuinely afraid of. This had all the right to go so horrendously, spectacularly wrong!!! And to some extent it did, and that's even more insane, because the Traveler did this immense act of trust, and she did an immense act or trust, and then she just went and immediately broke it. Proving the Winnower right, unwittingly as it were.

AND WHAT'S EVEN MORE INSANE is that the Traveler DOESN'T PUNISH HER FOR IT. ALRIGHT? LET THAT SINK IN. She doesn't get laserbeamed to death, the Traveler doesn't remove her Light, Ghost cries about why the Traveler isn't doing anything--even after we free it from the cobwebs! It is still just there, silently watching. And the last thing it does when Sav finally dies is blinding us with a flash of light right as Immaru escapes, so that we won't catch him.

There's this play I had to read in high school, The Undivine Comedy (the one by Z. Krasiński, not the one by T. Barolini), I absolutely hated the story but loved the tropes. I should probably dissect it in a separate post on my main, especially the point it makes regarding the romanticisation of an artist's lifestyle, but that's for another day. But here I wanted to talk about the ending, when Pancras (essentially the epitome of evil) screams, "Galilaee, victis" in all caps and gets laserbeamed to death by the light of God's glory. And I remember being like holy shit when I read that, because I'm always like holy shit when the cornered antagonist realises the Force Of Good was actually right, like when Savathûn (SAVATHÛN, with her plans upon plans!!!) admits she miscalculated. But put in a (roughly) the same situation, in the general orbit of the same trope, Pancras gets obliterated and (dead, vulnerable) Savathûn has her Ghost saved from certain death by the very entity whom trust she has just broken.

Because redemption is not a single grand decision!!! It's a decision. And then it's a decision. And then it's a decision. It's making this choice over and over to build and protect, not to fall to temptation, not to surrender to division. It's not a pact, like with the worms, a single choice you can never back up from. No, there is always a way out, always the choice to stop choosing the Light. THIS is forgiveness!!! THIS is a redemption arc!!! And it's still far from being done, and I'm so here to see it unfold, and I'm in tears.

Anyway. Yeah. I, um, I'm sorry if you expected a more hinged reply to that...

#savathûn just royally fucking up 5 minutes after being given a second chance is the best gift TWQ could offer me #THANK YOU for the opportunity to go feral about this whole thing!!!!!! #reply #cassiefisherdrake #aunt savathûn #the light #traveler #immaru #long post

[snailfen]

7 and 25?

HIII SKITTY idk if you want this to be abt pokemon or rainworld, but youve said you like seeing my incomprehensible nonsense sooooooo! im going for rainworld cus choosing violence on pokemon opinions Scares Me (i still might do it if someone asks but ough. Scary)

7.) what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

hmm... cant think of one honestly! i can say there's a lotta interpretations im not fond of for characters like five pebbles, seven red suns, sliver of straw or some of the slugcats but Honestly. im a big boy. ive been a rw fan for a long time, ive been in fandoms longer than i should have, im long past letting fandoms ruin characters for me. fuck it we chill

25.) common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

im sick of hearing older fans complain about downpour actually. like... i know the influx of new fans is overwhelming, i know some things about the lore arent the best for some people! but its so exhausting to see people act gatekeepy about a game because of other older fans who made a fanproject (which was originally going to be FREE, people made this for FREE until videocult brought it in-house) which was a love-letter to this game. im sick of them treating it like some mod when it has been referred to as an official alternative canon.

maybe you enjoyed the days when the rain world tag was flooded with unrelated aesthetic posts and other fans were impossible to find, maybe you enjoyed the days where the only fandom was either the main world server, the subreddit, or your group of friends who all got into it at the same time, but buddy, i cannot understand being angry about your experience no longer being limited to those options.

i know the community might have been more tightly-knit to you when barely anyone knew about the game, but a fandom is ultimately a community of people who love a piece of media. newer fans belong here just as anyone else does. the best thing you can do is make newer fans feel as welcomed as you did.

#asks #ask game

[ragnarokhound]

your tags on that post you just rb’d (about dc being inconsistent and thus more open to fan interpretation) are so real that’s exactly how i feel about it

haven’t been reading the comics/watching the various animations + films for long but i have noted how differently characters and dynamics are portrayed per source

some of the writers (comics not fanfiction) can be a bit annoying when it’s clear that they don’t like the character they’re writing and it’s directly affecting how they write the character but for the most part it’s honestly kinda refreshing imo that dc has this yesterday does not reflect today sorta vibe when it comes to characterization and how the characters interact

like yeah let them be insane in different but complementary ways throughout the various forms of media <3 it’s a treat

they seem to do this especially with jason todd and like i’m all for it bc it opens up so many different ways fans can interpret his character in fanwork

there’s not really a right or wrong way to go about interpreting dc characters bc chances are, the source material has already portrayed them in that manner years back before scrapping it for a slightly different characterization (that still maintains a few core personality traits that act as the character’s signature)

kinda pick your own adventure in the sense that you can choose which canon version of the character/plot you like the most

(I got excited, wall of text incoming lmao)

Yes!! Exactly, yes - the funniest thing to me about writing fic for comics is that I'm p sure the Official comic artists and writers basically get a set of golden rules on the characters they're going to be writing for (batman must be x, dick grayson cannot do y, gotham must be grungy) but a lot of things are up to them.

While their stuff goes through edits and vets to make sure it will fit the canon...the canon is already one big, ongoing game of telephone. It's why we can sort comics ala the "golden age" vs the "silver age" and why these tonal shifts happen. So when you write fic, you're basically hitching a ride on this grand tradition lol you just don't have any industry standards you have to follow or edits that you have to make

And oh god, yeah, it can be very annoying when you figure out that a writer simply...does not like a character lol. Like, excuse me, DC, could you tag this for character bashing please

But I 100% agree, and i love that way you put it, that 'yesterday does not reflect today' - absolutely the vibe. The desire to be evergreen in comics means that they Will scrap things at a certain point to reintroduce a character so that they can tell a different story with them - which is fun! And very, very close to the nature of reading fanworks!

Every time I open a new fic, I have to reset the characters in my brain because a different author is writing them and will cherrypick the things they like about canon and about the characters. It's like a faster, rawer, and generally hornier version of picking up new source material lol (with many caveats about accuracy, something something industry standards something something "i know them best" but i digress)

"like yeah let them be insane in different but complementary ways throughout the various forms of media <3 it’s a treat" - points at this. yes. YES. YEESSSSS

And Jason. Ough. Jason is such a fascinating character to me, not just because of the whole black sheep of the batfam thing he has going, but because of the absolutely divisive nature of him. (I still reel over the whole 'do you HATE this child? Would you like us to KILL HIM FOR YOU? Vote now and we'll brutally murder a teenager!' thing. Like what!! That happened!!)

You can't get away from how brutal he is (cool backstory, still murder) but there is a wiiiiide range of sympathy to play from. You can figure out a lot about how a person feels about the death penalty based on how they treat Jason Todd lol

But yeah, I kind of love the modular nature of comics - from a writer's standpoint it makes it so much easier to relax about getting it "right" because like. There is no right way and also a hundred right ways, and you're doing fine sweetie <3

#hardlycats #dc #i could talk for hours about this #me: i'm a casual comics enjoyer #also me: *gestures at this post #jason todd #he is my little babygirl meow meow and he does so many wrongs #and I love that for him <3

[bluiex]

The idea is kind a play on an idea someone else had sent in, with Grian being kept in a facility somewhere, went into heat, and Scar was placed into his room/cell for him to 'play' with.

Except the twist is Grian doesn't want to follow through with what the facility has planned for him, even going as far as killing those they had sent in to breed him/ breed with him prior to Scar, because 1: he knows what the scientist are really planning on doing. And that is experimenting and dissecting his eggs and hatchlings. Which is obviously not something Gri wants to subject anyone too, especially his children. And 2: he didn't like them. He didn't like everyone trying to pin him down, thinking he was weak and someone they could easily force into this. But they all learn that Grian has claws, talons, and a mouth full of sharp teeth for a reason :)

But Scar doesn't want to follow the foundations plan either. No, he actually hopes Grian will kill him. To Scar, he was given a choice between a (hopefully) easy death and a horrible one. So he choose the easy one.

It's kinda 'Enemies to Lovers'-esque. But more 'You give me a reason to want to live/You give me reason to want to prosper.'

It's Grian having to deal with this strangely calm and smiling man just existing in his cell and being confused on why this man hasn't tried to follow through with what they had been put in here for, while Scar acts nice and friendly to Gri and is wondering when Grian will finally decide they're 'done' with him or if he has to prepare for being the bird/human/thing's 'toy' for the rest of his natural life.

That's soooo gooooddd omggg I cannot WAIT for it to be finished- the whole idea an premise.. ough..

#bluie gets an ask poggers #long post

[iliketodecompose]

thank u @cankersoregirl for tagging meeee :33 i have attempted to do this twice already today and both times i was interrupted by Train Nonsense

Current time: 19:26

Current activity: ummm in-between watching the jarvis johnson and jordan adika series abt that one rlly racist show from 2006 and doing my yoga 4 my stress.... ough. i am like a squashed grape

Currently thinking about: tomorrow bc i have a uni open day and my brother's 21st bday celebrations. but also by extension my future. it's like torturous can i just choose Nothing perhaps.. where's the Nothing option. seems rigged to me idk

Currently reading: final volume of mdzs again lol!! and a book my mother gave me on managing panic attacks from when she was my age. duel wielding. gay and mentally unwell

Currently listening to: nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol.

Currently watching: nothing once again but there r things i have been Thinking About Watching. i just cannot get around to it emotionally ... ONE DAY.

Current favorite character: tbh i'm still like... not emotionally recovered from t8s. i think abt them all the time... esp while im going to sleep. so jaewon and jihyun BOTH i dont play by the rules

Current WIP: something gentle for my distressed mind and body. :-3 <3

[justastrugglinghotchocolate]

hehe basil hallward

ough you're really gonna ask me to write about the man who has captured my brain for the last two years?? Oke doke sit back and get ready!

Favorite Thing: Everything, literally everything but if I had to choose: The fact he tries to see the good in everyone no matter what they do. Basil is someone who loves the world and people in it, he's a diamond in the rough that gets exploited by everyone :(.

Least Favorite Thing: Everyone, at least in a lot of adaptations (shout out to the korean musical for not doing this!) and a lot of fics, make him all 'uwu i am baby and i never get mad but i'm always sad and in deep regret uwu' And no hate to that, except uuhhhh fuck that? Where are my fics where Basil gets angry? Where are all the Henry/Basil fics where Basil isn't like 'oh, he insulted me and never listens to me, that's just Henry,' and instead is like 'Henry, you motherfucker, I am done with your bs, you're a terrible friend, never talk to me again' and then Henry has to do the work of making their relationship better??? I hate the absolute infantilization that happens to Basil because he's shy. Yeah, he's quiet and keeps his opinions to himself, but he's not an innocent little baby--Let him be an adult human please!

Favorite Line: "I know you and Harry are great friends. I say nothing about that now, but surely you need not have made his sister's name a by-word." Translation: "Dude wtf, you slept with Harry's sister then fucked off?!"

brOTP: Basil and Sybil would have been best friends, not just because both loved Dorian, but they have a lot of similarities and I think they both need a friend like each other :)

OTP: Dasil only if both have had the chance to fully grow up. So like 25 and up year old Dorian dating Basil after going to college or finding himself. Basil/Henry otherwise, because they already act like a married couple.

nOTP: ....Basil and Death? Or Basil and Stabbing? With the amount of fics about Basil being stabbed to death, you'd think this was an actual ship. Listen, I LOVE angst, but be creative! Have Dorian keep Basil alive, but trapped in his attic as some kind of twisted punishment for making the portrait. Have Basil be the one who destroys the portrait and have him deal with the aftermath (Maybe he goes to Henry all bloodied and traumatized or something [Maybe it becomes a recovery fic?? Idk just make it happen lmao]). Have Basil escape to France, but, because he knows about the portrait, he's always scared Dorian might someday come for him when he is old and dying and thus defenseless. Give me creative Basil angst, please!

Random Headcanon: Basil (6'2) is the tallest in every friend group he's ever been in.

Unpopular Opinion: Besides the fact people are kinda uncreative with Basil angst or seem to be obsessed with it? I don't like how many people push the responsibility of redeeming Dorian on Basil. I think that's a product of the flawed belief in true love, but it leads to a ton of victim-blaming, which is stupid. There need to be more fics where the change of heart is inspired by Basil, but not caused by him.

Song I Associate With Them: Every song becomes a Basil song at some point, lmao. But genuinely, "Sign"- Liana Flores, "Not Ur Friend"-Jeremy Zucker, and "Happier Than Ever"- Billie Eilish.

Favorite Picture: I wanna put my bunny pic so bad, but I won't because minors.

I FUCKING LOVE BASIL HALLWARD YOU CANNOT EXPECT ME TO PICK 'ONE' PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#ask answered #junkyard! #i am so sorry for how long this is but I love Basil so much and never really get a chance to just talk all about him!