#cas showing off his power is so sexy
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The use of Chuck as a tool of analysis in fandom is genuinely so frustrating, because fundamentally it encourages people not to engage with spn as a piece of media made by real life flawed human writers, which is what it is!! Like, Cas’s inadvertent structural protagonist status at various points has nothing to do with ~him vs Chuck~ or whatever, but due to specific oversights by the writers such that his actions are the ones driving the plot rather than salmondean’s. ‘Chuck’ isn’t trying to ~keep him out of the story~, that doesn’t really mean anything (and if it wasn’t for that one line in Unity, no one would necessarily even think it) – it’s that the writers, trying to keep him off screen, gave him more interesting and more impact-having things to do than they gave salmondean with their much larger amount of screen time. Like I get the Chuck explanation being enjoyable, but we already have a real life explanation, and it’s pretty fun in itself imo! Gamble very much did arguably make Cas the structural protagonist partially as a direct result of trying to kill him off, which is kind of hysterical.
Also the thing is like, Chuck as the authorgodvillain was such a late addition that pretty much nothing is designed around him being the most satisfactory explanation – and it’s incredibly nebulous what viewing earlier events in that light of his intervention is even supposed to entail. If the writers had the courage of their convictions a little more, we could have been invited to recontextualise various really out of left field events in this light, eg @autisticandroids has talked about this re godstiel and the way the leviathans came out of nowhere, and me and them have also discussed it re gadreel being set up to be the “perfect deantransgression” (as @themauvesoul has pointed out) – it would make sense for a villainous author trying to create drama (and undermine Cas) to have contrivedly brought those things about specifically to that end. It is absolutely the case that there are places where it can be fun to say “it would make sense for Chuck to have made this happen for x/y/z reasons”, and it would have been very brave and sexy for the writers to be like “oh yeah lol this thing we wrote would have made more sense of it was Chuck”, but it would be very silly to say “oh the leviathans coming out of nowhere wasn’t actually bad writing because that was Chuck” y’know? Chuck as the authorgodvillain is a concept you can play with if you like, but he’s not a tool of analysis. In the show’s protagonist-powers-deconstruction episode the writers aren’t even brave enough to attack the most egregious writing conveniences facilitating the story, so extending the Chuck lens anywhere else in a way that lets them off the hook is extremely generous, as well as just pretty meaningless.
Fundamentally , the main function that Chuck as the authorgod really serves is a way to handwave away the bad writing (or any other disliked things) in spn when 1) the bad writing is interesting and 2) do we really want to give the writers that get out of jail free card?
#many nick posts cited here hi nick!#chuck spn#castiel#spn meta#spn#worded thoughts#this is not to be a killjoy it’s just it’s not a tool of analysis.#this applies to chuck won theory also tbh#if they wanted us to think chuck won they did a bad job conveying that also!!
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Title: Uncaged Heat
Author: Eyes_of_a_Tragedy & tfw_cas
Artist: ariasune
Primary Ship: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Other Ships: n/a
Length: 6600
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Tags: Episode 6x10: Caged Heat, Canon Divergent, Canonically Inappropriate Boner, Casturbation, Dean Winchester Isn't As Straight As He Appears, Dean Winchester/Castiel First Time, Top Dean Winchester/Bottom Castiel, Grace Powered Orgasms, Multiple Orgasms, Porn With Very Little Plot
Posting Date: September 21, 2023
Summary:
What do you get if you have a sexually inexperienced angel watching porn and getting a boner, in a room with his hunter best friend who's secretly lusting after him? A shitload of sexual tension, followed by lots of sexy times… that's what.
Excerpt:
Dean takes Cas’s hand and climbs off the bed, then crowds into his personal space until there’s only an inch between them. His breathing’s become rapid and shallow, and he notices how his own voice has gone from a whisper to a husky growl. “I wanna know what you showed Meg… what you learned from the pizza man.”
Cas's brows furrow even more, and he looks down at their joined hands. "I'm confused. You had to explain to me about the pizza man…"
Dean doesn’t know if Cas really doesn’t understand or if he’s being deliberately obtuse, but he does know it’s making him even more frustrated. “I didn’t explain dick. I did tell you not to talk about it, but that’s not what I’m asking you to do. I want you to show me.”
"So you want to watch the pizza man? Do you need me to show you how to operate the television?" he asks, pulling away from Dean and moving towards the television.
Fuck it. It looks like Dean will have to show Cas instead.
Reaching out to stop him, Dean grabs hold of Cas’s elbow and turns him back around. Cas looks kind of startled but doesn’t resist, but his eyes grow wide as Dean walks him backwards until his back hits the wall.
Dean places his hands on the wall to either side of Cas’s head, and dips his own head so he can stare into those gorgeous blue eyes. God, he’s fucking stunning.
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The UC Theatre, Berkeley, CA, 12/31/23
As I was about to board my flight from Portland down to Oakland who should run up - after boarding was well in progress - but Amanda Fucking Palmer herself, with a large bag from Powell’s Books over her shoulder, which is so on-brand it’s not even funny. The whole crew was on the same flight with me. Cosmic coincidences.
The inimitable Kat Robichaud dominated as Mistress of Ceremonies, and she brought along some friends from the Misfit Cabaret, so this promised to be a great night from the start.
Kat kicked things off with her original song Charade, then The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence provided a series of short, pithy blessings for the new year that managed to be funny, touching, and queer in equal measure.
Snatch Adams did an amazing burlesque routine involving a leaf blower and a giant balloon that she somehow got completely inside … and then removed her clothes.
Another original from Kat, and an extremely sexy dance from Aurora Rose, and it was time for the Dresden Dolls.
In 2017 Amanda did an NYE show a week after having a miscarriage and barely made it through the show. This show was similarly performed amidst some personal tragedy. Amanda had just learned that a good friend from New Zealand - whom she was actually en route to go visit - had died suddenly and tragically. And the longtime landlord / den mother of the artist collective Cloud Club, where Amanda “grew up” as an artist, was in hospice on his death bed (he passed early on the 2nd). While she did talk about this a little on stage for the most part she just powered through and delivered a killer show.
My favorite way to ring in the new year is with Amanda and/or the Dolls, and this show went a long way towards explaining why. Flamboyantly talented people providing astounding spectacle; who could ask for anything more? Halfway through the show my friend Nikki turned to me and said, “I can’t imagine being happier than I am right now!” I couldn’t agree more.
Annotated Set List:
Good Day (Brian on guitar to start)
Sex Changes
Gravity
Modern Moonlight
My Alcoholic Friends
Shores of California
Welcome to the Internet (Bo Burnham cover) - Before this song Amanda often asks, “Are there any young people in the audience?” and she typically chooses one to serenade during the ‘Waiting for YOOOOOU!’ bridge. Tonight this turned into a bit of a bidding war in which we started at 18 and worked our way down to 5. At one point Brian became an auctioneer, “I’ve got 16 here do I hear 15? 14! 14 going once, can I get … 13 over here!”
Mandy Goes to Med School
Amanda said she wanted to repeat the collective primal scream they had done last NYE, and while that’s true the tradition actually started at the very first solo show Amanda did in the States post COVID in August of ‘22.
“Close your eyes, and on the count of three I would like you to scream as loudly as possible to release the good, the bad, the ugly, the better, the unfulfilled, the loneliness, the whatever you fucking went through last year it’s now gone and you’ve got about an hour to sit with it if you wanna be sad or happy and then it’s all gonna go away and we’re gonna go into 2024 into a bucket of unicorn dreams!”
PRIMAL SCREAM!!
Mister God
Amanda said that she and Whitney had come up with a working title for the new Dresden Dolls album: Downer Bangers (“That was my nickname in high school!” quipped Nikki.)
“I found out this morning that a really good friend of mine from New Zealand just died really suddenly and tragically, and I’m in the middle of losing someone else in my life, and it’s just one of those days where you’re like, ‘This is happening, and I still have to play a show.’ This has happened to me enough that I know how to do it, but I’ve gotta tell you that it’s still really weird to get up in front of everybody while I’m going through what I’m going through. And here’s the great thing about being in the Dresden Dolls: I have a song for that! So I’m gonna play it.”
Houdini
Another Christmas (Brian on guitar, Amanda on jingle bells)
Amsterdam (Jacques Brel cover) (Brian on guitar, Amanda on beer) - At the beginning of the second stanza Amanda lost track of the lyrics. “In the port of Amsterdam, there’s a sailor who … ”
“Dies!” I helpfully yelled
“Dies … sorry, Tom.”
Hey don’t apologize to me; I live for this shit!
Missed Me - Brian has taken to really going all out on this one, often performing entire melodramatic vignettes. Tonight he just … left. Got up, left the stage, disappeared. He has played with briefly “leaving” during this song, but this time he was just gone. And Amanda had no idea what was going on. She was talking to the crowd - he’s really gone, I’m all alone, what do I do? sort of thing - when a large, potted plant crept up behind her. As Brian was creeping about the stage hiding behind the plant like a cartoon villain Amanda said, “This is the same guy who during soundcheck was like, ‘Let’s keep the intro really short.’” The antics went on so long that Amanda got flustered and got confused about where they were in the song. She looked at me and asked, “Is this right?” I gave her a big thumbs up.
Backstabber
Astronaut (A Brief History of Nearly Nothing) (Amanda Palmer cover)
Mrs. O - Quick restart after Amanda thought she detected a medical issue in the crowd, something that happened at both the LA and SD shows earlier in the month. It was a false alarm, and the band played on.
Delilah (featuring Kat Robichaud AND Whitney Moses (the OG!)) - Double Delilahs for double the pathos. Before starting Amanda entreated the crowd to sing along. “I want you to sing this song tonight for someone who needs it. And that someone might be you.”
Sing - Amanda was keeping one eye on the clock and the tempo on this one was a bit faster than normal so they could get it in before …
MIDNIGHT! Balloon drop! General pandemonium!
(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party!) (Beastie Boys cover) - Everyone on stage!
Coin-Operated Boy
War Pigs (Black Sabbath cover)
——
Girl Anachronism
Photo Gallery:
Preshow family portrait.
Destiney performed as a living statue before the show.
Snatch Adams, ladies and gentlemen.
The Dresden Dolls!
Welcome to the Internet
Another Christmas
Amsterdam!
Sometimes you just can’t see the drummer through the trees.
Dual Delilahs!
MIDNIGHT!!!
Submitted without comment.
Good night!
Traditional selfie with Whitney Moses and post-show family selfie featuring Michael!
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Some time ago you asked me about my angel Gabriel and I am here to return the favor, PLEASE tell me about your gabriel when you have a moment 👀
- @starshine-selfships
Can’t believe I am just getting to this, I am the worst.
YES LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY AWFUL BEAUTIFUL BOY!!
This is my Gabe and he makes me feral and insane. ❤️❤️❤️
How do I begin to describe Gabriel. He’s crazy smart and just plain crazy and a tiny short king who is also terrifyingly strong and powerful. He has no off switch, never shuts up, runs off of sugar and spite, has the world’s cutest dimples and the most beautiful golden eyes and is just annoying and hot and wonderful.
This sexy bastard is one of the most powerful and ancient archangels and was one of the first fallen angels, he left/was kicked out because he refused to join the infighting and corruption in his family. He was tired of watching his siblings tear each other apart so he ran off to take the place of one of the pagan gods (Loki, if you can believe it) and ended up with his powers—sort of a pseudo angel/Trickster God hybrid. He’s a chaotic neutral silly boi who likes to wreak havoc by killing nasty people in creative ways and looks really hot doing it.
In my canon, he’s also my guardian angel and not super happy about it at first but he catches feelings and it’s all very bittersweet bc he knows I love his brother and he wants me and Cas to be happy so he’s willing to step back and let us be together, even though it tears him apart inside. Instead he just follows me around acting vaguely annoying.
In my happy little headspace though we’re madly in love and all over each other constantly and it’s very gross. We are the OG chaos couple, we enable each other’s insanity and annoy everyone but it’s okay bc we love each other so so much ❤️
What’s funny and stupid is that he was a platonic f/o for a long ass time but I was not platonic about him at all and just didn’t realise it and it was cringe and pathetic. We actually meet him before we meet Cas, and from the moment he showed up I was like “that guy.” Don’t learn his name until like season 4 but every time he showed up I’m like “oh my god it’s my fave it’s the trickster he’s back I hope he’s in every episode ever he’s great omg” and then I learned he was an angel and not only that he’s this universe’s Loki and I lost my shit and made him a platonic right then and there but also couldn’t shut up about how cool he was (srsly look at my Gabe tag, it’s pathetic 💔) and eventually had to face facts and felt stupid. Now we kiss a lot.
Anyway he’s hot and stupid and perfect and he can be so charismatic and flirty or so gentle and sweet and he is everything and I love him and I want to cry.
Also here’s a fic about our first meeting if anyone is interested 👉🏻👈🏻
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Hmm. 20-22 inclusive …. making you be negative 😈 I’m assuming you’ll do zelda but as a scholar I’m also interested in your spn thoughts so you pick mwah
oooh dealer's choice this is so tough...what if i just answer for both LMAO im so sorry ok Lets Go
20. part of canon you found tedious or boring
for zelda: i really, really wish i liked wind waker. i wanna like wind waker so fucking bad. i love wind waker's story. i love wind waker's ganondorf. i love how bright and cheerful the graphics are contrasted with how solemn it is underground. i love the dungeons and the gameplay. but god i HATE the cartoony little balloon heads. it takes me right out of those serious moments. i don't mind stylization but if it could have been just a LITTLE BIT. less stylized. just a LITTLE LESS like animal crossing characters. it's beautiful to look at but for a game with such serious hidden elements WHICH I LOVE i find trouble taking it seriously.
for spn: god, all of crowley's little arcs. he was almost never interesting, and while you can excuse bad writing for cas because it's cas, you can't make crowley happen. fetch is never gonna happen! you can show me his fun hot mom and his dead son and it still isn't happening! he's just the walking talking embodiment of the "angels and demons are just like OFFICE WORKERS" trope which i hate so fucking deeply because it's the least sexy direction they ever took and the exact opposite of what i want from my angels and demons. all of the middle seasons suffered deeply from this. crowley COULD have been interesting, but tbh, i liked him best in the season they killed him off.
21. part of canon you think is overhyped
for zelda: i could do wind waker again but actually i completely understand the hype, bc wind waker is a great game even if i can't deal with it like a normal person. same with botw - i found most of the joy thru exploration, so it just didnt Hit on replays the way other zeldas do, but its influence cannot be understated and the hype is deserved. what if everybody is right all the time to hype any and everything about zelda?? oh wait actually. sorry. twilight princess ilia. idk if people hype her but if they do theyre wrong. love and light to her, she's Fine, but it feels kind of like a knockoff of malon (superior) and i generally dislike when link has romantic interests besides zelda, even if the love interest gets amnesia (wistful sigh). this sin was especially egregious bc zelda barely has any screentime at all, but i forgive tp for this because what screentime she DOES have is spent being in lesbians with midna. so it works out just this once due to the power of gay people, but that's some thin fucking ice. anyway, sorry to ilia and ilia fans for being a misogynist
for spn: i hate canon claire. i can't get into it in depth but like...sorry, even without the issue of My Own Claire Ideas, i still don't know if i could do it. being gay does not save her from having the exact same "damaged but spunky teen girl" personality given to almost EVERY OTHER TEENAGE GIRL (or young woman) on the show. to some extent she, krissy, mary from the winchesters, charlie, jo, alex, etc etc all have the same personality with a few defining quirks tacked on as an afterthought. do i love some of these characters? yes, of course. are they well-written? absolutely not <3
22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores
for zelda: in general, i think skyward sword gets a bad rap despite lanayru desert's entire (waves hand vaguely) and zelda being a fucked up evil goddess who canonically manipulates link's love for her. AND GROOSE. never forget groose. more specifically i think not enough people have acknowledged 1. the champions corpses are definitely still in those cockpits 2. oot link essentially became a stalfos by walking into the lost woods without navi and never came back. hello?? generally those dark little implications that u have read between the lines to get <3
for spn: oh baby its michael!dean. i waited so long and i only really got what i wanted for one episode but it was so good. it was SO good. no one else is as hype about the fact that it took nine REAL LIFE YEARS to get there. a DECADE of my finite time on earth. but ohhh was it ever worth the wait. what else could i possibly write 100k+ about
[ASK MEME]
#liz answers asks#paty-ofarrell#ASK MEMES#liz watches spn#loz blogging#sorry this took forever i did literally have to do both.#thank you SO MUCH for asking
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Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 136
Meet the New Boss
“Meet the New Boss”
Plot Description: Assuming his new role as god, Castiel sets out to right some of the wrongs in the world. Dean decides to bind Death in order to stop him
Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: No one died. Sure
My baby’s all grown up and playing god now
Oh we are picking up RIGHT where season six left off. It is…when I say uncomfortable to watch, I don’t mean in the regular way like gory when I’m trying to eat lunch. Godstiel is something else. I really thought for a second that he was backtracking on making the boys and Bobby bow to him when they actually started doing it. No. He could just see they didn’t really mean it. That it was out of fear, not love and respect. BABES. Come on
This must have been so fun to play. FUCK. After playing Cas as so in love with humanity (Dean) and so sympathetic to their plight and a bit of an underdog, to just turn and be cold and ruthless and SO. POWERFUL.
I recant my statement about no one dying. No HUMANS died, so maybe I’m still okay. But a fuckton of angels did
That’s so uncharacteristically healthy of you, Dean. I know you’re gonna kinda fuck it up probably later just based on the summary, but for now just fixing up Baby and then helping to fix up Sam when he wakes up is good.
Huh…what’s going on with Sam NOW??
YES, Godstiel!! I know this is Cas’s literally villain era but telling bigoted pastors that god is “utterly indifferent to sexual orientation” should never be counted among his crimes this season.
Oop. It’s already going wrong for him…
OMG this woman the news is interviewing about the 200 religious leaders Castiel’s killed today. “He had no beard, no robe. He was young…and sexy” STOPPP 💀
Love that Dean can’t argue with some of the things he’s doing though. But I mean, if your actions forced the klan to completely disband, I’d be handing you the Nobel peace prize
Oof, Dean is not taking this break up well. Or too well? He’s in a very cut all contact, don’t even think about contacting him mood. Dean doesn’t have a choice but to hear about Cas’s countrywide rampage, but there’s nothing he can really do about it…yet
Okay, it’s not all death and destruction. He has healed everyone with leprosy
Oh, Crowley…this is so unlike you. An RV? And Cas got to you anyway
Jeeeeeeeeesus, Cas. You are making it really hard to love you right now. You still need hell to serve as a threat to your enemies??
I had been wondering what had happened to the Cage since Crowley’s remodeling. It’s still there SOMEWHERE. But we’re just gonna gloss over that
Poor Sam. Like…I know Dean had this deep, dark emptiness when he came back from hell, but he didn’t get these visceral flashbacks that seep into his every day.
Dean in his little mechanic’s jumpsuit is working for me. Anyway, Sam overheard Dean and Bobby talking about how Dean just wants this to be the one time they’ve caught a break (re: Sam SEEMING mostly okay), and I’m so afraid he’s gonna try to cover it up to not be a burden
The SASS between Bobby and Crowley!!!
I KNOW it’s just because the stomach is the squishiest part of the torso overall…like, in terms of showing that something is trying to get out of the human form, but why was my first thought to seeing the purgatory souls trying to get out of Cas “oh, this was not tagged mpreg”
I know we’re in desperate times but did you have to tie up the owners of the house you just broke into to get to this crystal thingy??
Dean tried to bribe Death with fried pickle chips…Death, you are missing out. I’d take that bribe in a HEARTBEAT. (Especially since sheetz switched from chips to pickle fries……..)
THESE POOR HOMEOWNERS. Just sitting tied up in their living room while three men wearing flannel, a mutated angel, and the physical embodiment of death have a standoff. No one is ever going to believe them if they live through this
I know it’s ridiculously self-destructive but I do love when we get Leviathan Cas
OOOOOOOOOO THAT IS JUICY. Dean commanding Death to kill Cas and, before that can happen, Cas breaks Death’s binding.
Castiel, what did you doooo? You killed everyone on that senator’s election staff
Oh Sam…I’m glad you have your soul back and that you know all this stuff now, but…fuck. It’s so hard to watch you put yourself on the back burner so as not to burden Dean while you two figure this Cas stuff out
Sam reaching out to Cas is really wholesome
Oh no. Please don’t believe this, Sam. He (Lucifer) IS just a hallucination…………..right? Still. It’s a very good torture
Uuuuuggggggghhhhhhh the break in Dean’s voice when Cas wakes up from putting the souls back in purgatory.
Do I like how much I love Leviathan Cas?? We’re just not going to answer that question…
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Pairing: -
Canon: Supernatural
Content: crack fic, vulgarity (mild)
Author's Note: -
Summary: With God missing, the angels in heaven experiment with free will. Gabriel returns once again to antagonise the Winchesters with his tricks, except this time it feels a bit more real, and this time he does something far more sinister... Sticking them with Barney The Dinosaur.
Dean paced angrily up and down the bunker, running his hand through his hair and scratching at the stubble on his face.
"Dean, you need to calm down", Sam suggested from the table a few feet away.
"I can't calm down, Sam!", Dean snapped back.
"Why?", Sam questioned.
"Why? Really, Sam? God's missing. GOD. MIA. Off the grid".
"And there's nothing we can do about that", Sam stated reasonably.
"Exactly. We have to clean up all of heaven's crap, as usual we don't get a choice, there isn't an angel in sight besides Cas--".
"I wouldn't say that", an unknown voice calls out following a 'woosh' sound.
Sam and Dean turn their heads in shock to see The Archangel Gabriel standing at the top of the bunker's staircase, "Did you miss me?", The Trickster asks.
"No", Dean said sternly.
"You said you wanted an angel", Gabriel stated, putting his hands up in defence.
"Anyone but you", Sam replied.
"The last time we saw you, you trapped us in TV land", Dean adds.
"You guys aren't still hung up on that are you?", Gabriel asked, to which Sam and Dean replied with only furious expressions, "Ouch", the archangel added, "Well then it's a good thing I have this", he said as he pulled out a vile containing some kind of magical blue substance.
"What is that?", Sam asked.
"Grace. God has some kept aside for rainy days. Since he's gone... I figured I'd borrow some".
"You stole heaven's break-in-case-of-emergency grace... Why?", Dean asked as he furrowed his brow
"One last trick", he says cryptically.
The brothers wasted no time in drawing their guns and pointing them at the archangel.
"I am not going back into Dr. Sexy M.D.", said Sam.
"Actually that was the one part I didn't mind", Dean added, to which Sam shook his head in confusion.
"Well, Sam, you won't have to worry about that. See, this time I'm not taking you into the TV... I'm bringing the TV to you".
They didn't quite know what that meant but before they could question it, Gabriel broke the vile of grace, absorbing it and harnessing it's power. His eyes glowed a magnificent, bright shade of blue and the silhouette of his wings grew on the wall behind him. The brothers can only watch in awe as a white light fills the room, eventually, so bright it blinds them.
As the light faded away and their vision returned, Sam and Dean squinted their eyes and looked around for Gabriel, but he was gone. They assumed they were alone, until they heard the relentlessly joyous scream of another voice.
"WELL HI, KIDS!".
And now, they knew exactly what The Trickster had meant by his earlier statement.
"IT'S ME... BARNEY THE DINOSAUR!".
"Son of a bitch!", Dean exclaimed, as he took in the enormous, jolly, purple dinosaur standing before him.
Later...
"Dean, you can't shoot Barney The Dinosaur", Cas tries to explain.
"I can't live with this hippy happy life lessons crap!", Dean exclaims.
"It's just until we find a way to get him home", said Sam.
Dean sighed, "Fine".
Cas turns his attention to the big purple dinosaur standing not too far away from them, "Well Barn-meister, looks like you're staying with us".
"Barn-meister? ", Dean asked as he cringed
"It's a nickname that Murray gave him in the classic TV show, Barney & Friends, which ran from 1992 to 2010, consisting of 14 seasons and 268 episodes".
"Wha-- Cas, how do you know all this!?".
"I watched it".
"Why!?".
"Because it taught me the importance of caring, sharing and learning".
"Super-Dee-Duper!", Barney screamed excitedly.
Cas turns back to Dean. "It's his catchphrase from the show", he explains.
Dean rubs his face tiredly and squeezes the bridge of his nose, "I'm going to bed", he says before walking off.
The next morning...
Dean's eyes twitch as he struggles to wake from his sleep. The heaviness on his eyelids prevent him from being fully aware of his surroundings. Although his vision is blurry, he can vaguely make out a figure standing above him. "Uuuggghhh", he groans as his sight clears up.
"WELL HI, DEAN!", Barney yells.
Dean screams in shock as he realises Barney is standing directly above him and only a few inches away from his face.
"What's the matter?", Barney asks with a giggle.
"Damnit Barney! Haven't you ever heard of personal space!?".
"No".
Dean stares questionably at the big purple dinosaur in a moment of awkward silence, then he sighs, "I almost pulled out a gun on you".
"A what?".
"A gun".
"What's that?", Barney asks excitedly.
"... nevermind", Dean says as he forces himself out of bed and stretches his back, "C'mon let's get something to eat".
Dean walks into the kitchen, Barney not too far behind him, as Sam tends to several eggs on the stove and Cas sets out the plates.
"Morning", said Cas.
"Morning", Dean replied in a tired voice.
"Rough night?".
"I slept better when I was in hell".
"How so?".
Dean peeks over his shoulder to make sure Barney is out of ear shot, "Cas, I woke up with him basically on top of me! I felt like a Cosby victim!".
"Well, Barney doesn't exactly understand the concept of personal space".
"Yeah. I figured that out when he was breathing down my neck!".
"We're alot older than his usual company, Dean".
"How old are his other friends?".
"Well, Baby Bop was originally 2; but she turned 3 in the Season 2 Episode, 'Look At Me, I'm Three!'".
"Baby Bop", Dean snickers, "Sounds like the name of a cheap hooker".
"Dean. Please. She's three years old... And a dinosaur; you can't have sex with a three-year-old dinosaur".
Dean opens his mouth, originally intending to speak before stopping himself and deciding to close it, "Let's just eat", he says unenthusiastically before pulling up a chair at the table.
Barney and Sam join them, "Sam, did you find anything that could help us get Barney home?".
"Well I haven't, but--".
"--Hello, boys", a previously absent voice called out.
Sam, Dean and Cas turn their heads towards the direction of the voice, "Crowley?", Dean asked.
"Dean, Sam, Cas, I just popped in to...", Crowley trails off as he notices the large purple dinosaur sitting at the head of the table, "Why do you have a stuffed dinos--".
"WELL HI, CROWLEY!"
"AH!", Crowley screams in fear.
"It's not stuffed", Dean said before filling his mouth with several pieces of bacon.
Crowley steels himself, "What... How... Explain!".
"Gabriel stole Heaven's emergency grace to amplify his powers. Now, he can do more than send people into a trick, he can bring the trick to them", Sam explains.
"As perilous as this situation is... We have a bigger problem".
"What?", Dean asks as the tension in the room thickens.
"A demon by the name of Ozzoden. The absence of God awakened him after more than a century. He was one of Lucifer's most devoted disciples... And I think he still is".
"Are you saying...", Sam asks but trails off, not daring to complete the sentence.
"...Ozzoden is trying to break Lucifer out of the cage".
A dark, gloomy sensation of dread filled the room as everyone fell into silence. "How?", Cas asked.
"He's a consumer demon. He gains power as he consumes people's souls. Once he's consumed enough; he'll return to the very spot Lucifer was locked into the cage and exchange them for his freedom", Crowley explains.
"And how are we supposed to stop him?", Dean asks.
"With this", Crowley says dramatically as he lays a single red bullet on the table.
"What is that?", Sam asked.
"The Crimson Bullet. it was crafted and forged using hellfire and soaked in the blood of Lucifer for 666 years... And it's the only thing capable of killing Ozzoden".
"If you had the bullet, what did you need us for?", Cas asked.
"Because the bullet itself is worthless. It needs to be fired from one specific gun. A gun that you happen to have".
"The Colt", Sam stated.
"Precisely", Crowley responded.
"So, where do we find him?", Dean asked.
"He needs to consume souls. What's the one place lost souls are left to roam?", Crowley asked cryptically.
"...A graveyard", Dean said as he figured it out.
Later...
Dean pulled into a graveyard, the headlights of The Impala flickered off as he brought the vehicle to a stop. "I can't believe we brought Barney".
"We couldn't just leave him alone", said Sam.
Dean rolled his eyes and stepped out of the car, followed by everyone else. The group travelled slowly, keeping an eye out for anything that could point them towards Ozzoden.
"You see anything?", Dean asked.
"No", said Sam.
Randomly, Barney giggled.
"Ssshhh!", The rest of the group said in unison.
"Barney, you need to be quiet!", Dean said in a hushed, yet aggressive tone.
Barney giggled again, "Sorry".
"Look. Over there", Crowley said as he turned everyone's attention to a man on his knees in the centre of the graveyard, chanting something in latin.
"It's gotta be him", Dean whispered.
"Ok, here's the plan", said Crowley, "first, we'll--".
Crowley is cut off as Barney steps on a twig, making a large 'snap' sound and breaking the silence. Everyone's eyes turn nervously to the ominous man kneeling in the middle of the graveyard - He's staring directly at them.
Ozzoden lets out a loud, screeching scream as he opens his hands and flies through the air, baring his demonic black eyes as he soars towards the hunters.
"EVERYONE, DOWN!", Dean screams as they jump out of the way.
The demon takes a swipe with a swing of his hand and narrowly misses Sam, who jumps out of the way and lands roughly on his shoulder. Ozzoden turns around and plots his next attack, and in an act of desperation, Dean pulls out The Colt. He aims it the demon, but it swings left and right in the air, "I can't get a clear shot!", Dean screams.
"Don't waste it, Dean! There's only one bullet", Crowley screams back, to which Dean subsequently lowered the gun in his hand.
Noticing this, Ozzoden takes his opportunity and flies towards Dean. The hunter puts out his shoulder, bracing himself for the impact, but it never comes. Instead the demon flies right past him and heads right towards Barney.
"Barney, watch out!", Cas yells.
"Well, Hi Ozzoden!", Barney welcomes the demon as it engulfs him, abandoning it's old host and turning into a cloud of black smoke that flies in through Barney's mouth while the dinosaur stares helplessly at the sky.
"What... What happened?", Asked Sam.
Crowley dusts off the dirt from his suit, "Ozzoden... He's possessed Barney The Dinosaur".
Barney opens his eyes, now a demonic, remorseless shade of black, and stares at the hunters.
"Well, Hiii kids! ", And towards the end of the sentence Barney's voice changes from its usual, happy-go-lucky, optimistic tone to that of a shrill, low-pitched scream.
He lifts his right hand and effortlessly, tosses them aside without having to even touch them. Then, without so much as looking back, he walks away.
Back at the bunker...
Sam holds an ice pack to his shoulder as Dean paces up and down the room, Crowley and Cas sitting at the table.
"So, what now?", Sam asked.
"Now he has enough souls. He'll go back to the place where you locked Lucifer in the cage", Crowley answered.
"Stull cemetery", Dean added.
"We still have The Colt... And The Crimson Bullet", said Cas.
"And how do you plan on getting him out of the dinosaur before using it?", Crowley asked.
"I... Don't know", said Cas.
"It doesn't matter", said Dean. "We'll find a way. We always do", he turns back to Sam, Cas and Crowley, a determined look on his face. "We're gonna cast out a demon, stop the son of a bitch... And save Barney The Dinosaur... Never thought I'd be saying that", he says as he makes his way for the stairs leading out of the bunker, the rest of the group following closely behind him.
Later...
Dean pulls up infront of Stull Cemetery, as he exits the Impala he's stunned to see the hundreds of souls in the form of ghosts flying thoughtlessly through the air to the centre of the graveyard, where a purple dinosaur stands. The four of them struggle towards him, the wind wrestling with them and ushering them in the opposite direction. As they edge closer to Barney, possessed by Ozoden, they hear is sacreligious incantation: "Hail Satan, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in hell, we will praise your unholy name, SATAN SHALL EMERGE!". As he chants it, the ground beneath his feet is set alight in the form of a pentagram.
"Dean!", Sam screams desperately. "HE'S ALMOST OUT OF THE CAGE! WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING FAST!".
Looking between Barney and the souls flying faster and faster into the opening of hell's gate, Dean pulls out The Colt and aims it straight at the big purple dinosaur.
"No, Dean! You'll kill Barney too!", Screams Cas.
"It's the only way!".
"There's always another way! You have to do what Barney would do and use the power of friendship!", Cas says as he struggles to keep the volume of his voice above the noise of the wind and wandering ghosts.
Dean looks nervously between Cas and Barney, The Colt shaking in his hand. He looks at Cas, then at Barney, then Cas again, then Barney again, before the angel calls out, "The power of friendship, it conquers all...", Cas says before his voice is swept away and lost in the chaos.
Dean weighs his options for a moment, then, sensing an inward change, lowers the gun. "I love youuu", he starts to sing, "You love meee, we're a happy familyyy, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to youuu, won't you say you love me tooo?", He completes the rest of the song.
As Barney hears it, he flickers, momentarily regaining control of his body before losing it once more to Ozzoden.
"It's working!", Said Sam, "Keep going altogether!".
Sam, Dean, Cas and Crowley all started to sing in unison as they limped closer to Barney, "I love youuu, you love meee, we're a happy familyyy, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to youuu, won't you say you love me tooo?".
The strength of the pentagram starts to fade, the souls start travelling slower and Barney's eyes return to their normal colour. His head cocks up as a back cloud is evicted from his body, flying out through his mouth.
"Dean! Now!", Crowley screams as Ozzoden flies out, extremely weak and struggling to fly away.
Dean fires The Crimson Bullet from The Colt directly into the black cloud of smoke. A light flickers from inside it, followed by several painful screams and eventually; it fades away, almost as if it never existed.
Dean dramatically swings the gun by it's trigger and holds it up to his mouth so he can blow away the smoke.
"Barney!", Said Cas, as everyone rushed to his side.
"C'mon, don't give up on me", Dean said as he shook the unconscious dinosaur by the shoulders.
Slowly, Barney opened his eyes and coughed, earning a sigh of relief from everyone else. He giggled, "Hi, Dean!", He said causing everyone to laugh before they helped him to his feet.
Then, a portal opened, ripping a whole in reality and providing the pathway to a new one. "What's that?", Asked Dean.
"It's... It's Barney's home", Said Cas as he peeked through and saw the setting of Barney & Friends.
"What? How?", Asked Dean.
"Well, in the show, Barney isn't even real. He's a figment of a child's imagination that appears to educate them about valuable life lessons", Cas explains. "Once the lesson is taught and the episode is over, Barney is allowed to leave until he's needed again".
Dean scoffs, "So when I sang that song back there..."
"...You allowed him to teach you about the power of friendship, enabling him to leave now that his lesson's been taught".
"Well, Barney, I guess this is the end of the road", Dean says as he extends his arm and offers a handshake. Barney doesn't take it. Instead, he pulls the hunters, the angel and the demon in for one big hug before stepping through the portal. "Well bye kids! See ya' next time! I love you!", Barney says as the portal begins to close.
"Love you too, Barn-meister", Dean says with a smirk after making sure no one was close enough to hear him say it.
Afterwards, he puts his hand in his pockets as he walks back to the Impala, Sam walking next to him. "So Dean, did you learn a valuable life lesson today?", Sam said mockingly.
"Y'know what, Sammy? I did! I learned that the power of friendship is unmatched, and that not every problem has to be solved with a gun. Sometimes, we can just--".
And then, another portal opens, "Well, hi kids! It's me! Mickey mouse! Welcome to my clubhouse! Come inside, it's fun ins--".
Dean pulls out his gun and fires three bullets in the direction of the portal, subsequently causing silence and the portal to close.
"Nope".
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Tags: @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @melthedwarf @mercutrix @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes @mad-elia @castielinanutshell @nicoistrying
#spnfandom#spn#Crowley#dean Winchester#sam Winchester#Castiel#Barney the Dinosaur#Barney#Barney and Friends#Supernatural#supernatural Fanfiction#fanfiction
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Castiel / angel of the Lord / multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent / 1000+ ft tall / middle aged gay dad
#castiel#supernatural#supernaturaledit#spnedit#castieledit#misha collins#dean winchester#bobby singer#janielook#donestiel#cas showing off his power is so sexy#i love that he was literally a comet at one point#my stuff#flashing gif
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Obsessed w the way that dean believes himself to like torture. Ooooo it’s delicious okay iirc we only really see dean getting down and dirty torturing a few times. Once being thee head of a pin, which, other ppl have written theses on the way that dean is just performing for alastair, it’s a show for him. Dean is never in control in that scene, despite being the torturer he is still attempting to be what alastair made him etc. the other torture moment is in hunter games, when metatron won’t explain the spell to get rid of the moc.
That scene also gives me major head of a pin vibes because again metatron is the one with all the power. Dean is performing as a monster, as conjured by metatron 10 minutes ago “he’s gone nuclear” and requesting that dean not be left alone with him. (also like when metatron literally exactly made him a demon a few eps ago). For all that dean is the one holding the knife again, metatron is egging him on the exact same ways as alastair.
alastair with hell torture and metatron with the mark of cain demon-ification . is the same thing. the choice to reinforce it complete with matching torture scene. supernatural is good sometimes.
Im off my point. Anyway every time dean tortures it’s for the pleasure of the person inventing him. They create a monster and he plays the part and then he internalizes it into himself.
“Oh but what about in the end! He tortures then! Or [insert forgettable torture scene im forgetting about].” most of the other torture scenes r either a. Not as graphic or close up and personal as the two ive cited or b. Are that sexy scene where dean nods and cas uses angel torture powers. Which doesn’t count for this post. As for the end, that was an extreme situation and dean is a dog who will bite his own leg off in a bear trap that boy will do what it takes to survive . also we dont actually see the torture in there. So im nixing that.
Anyway tl;dr deans lack of a sense of self makes any performance feel key to his character including being a torturer and also metatron and alastair are the same
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so I was thinking about the whole hbo supernatural thing and all I could think was how it would fit in my major spn interpretation which is TRANSFEM SAM WINCHESTER!!!!
• changed her name to samantha for pure praticity
• is a lesbian, so all the romantic part is pretty similar to the canon, monsterfucking and all
• in which dean got a little confused about the distinction of gender ≠ sexuality at first like “wait but why did you become a girl if you like girls?” (he doesn’t know a lot of queer people, give him some time)
• AND SPEAKING OF DEAN! the biggest ally of all times. at first he doesn’t understand lots of stuff that seems obvious to sam (“why are you putting on a suit?” “dean we’re going to a small town, the case will be way harder if everyone is staring at me”), asks indiscrety questions (“can i ask you something?” “it depends” “you wanna chop your dick off?” “NO YOU CANT ASK IT”) but over time he starts to get it more naturally
• despite his numerous hook-ups, dean has never spent so much time in his life in a company of a woman so even the smallest things are extraterrestrial to him (“hey whats that bowl in the microwave?” “depilatory wax” “OH CMON SAMMY I WAS GOING TO HEAT UP MY DINNER THERE”)
• of course, there would be a scene where they met some hunter friend of john who says shit about sam, misgender her etc and dean goes FERAL, fist fighting with the guy and stuff. later sam yells at dean, saying she doesn't need dean to protect her and the argument would escalate to all the times that dean treated her in a condescending way, dean yelling back that dad said it was his job to take care of her and sam yelling even louder that dad would probably dead by now (in this moment all the lamps in their room (and in the street) simply explode, but they ignore. it was probably some short circuit…. right?)
• ok lets talk about john. still the same asshole, still gave a gun to kid who was afraid of the boogeyman, still tried to summon azazel when his son was in comma in 02X01 BUT now he also has a whole series of microaggressions with sam. she’s not stupid, she know the dad she has so doesn’t come out until she’s in stanford, SO john finds out sam is trans in 01X16 when john see sam after two years wearing a skirt and holding a .45 gun. he looks at her up and down and doesn’t say anything however, suddenly stops calling sam sam and starts calling her strictly samuel.
• it got worse after s1 season finale with the whole azazel possessed john > sam had the opportunity of killing azazel/her dad > couldn’t do it > azazel escaped > the winchesters get hit by a truck. when sam questions her father about being worried about the colt while his own son is dying, john explodes with her “you know samuel this is all your fault, once again you couldn’t just man up and pull the fucking trigger, kill the thing, you had to be same old sissy and chicken off, if your brother dies its his blood in your hands”
• aaaaaanyway, lets go back to our girl :D
• her style is kinda a mess. makeup done in a hurry, most of her clothes are mid skirts, hoodies and long dresses but now and then she spends a week wearing baggy jeans and band t-shirts, like dean’s, and no makeup at all. when he asks her “where is the whole angry teen outfit?” sam would simply respond its “because of the praticity, it’s tough to fight with a vampire in a dress lol” dean knows its because sometimes sam’s internalized transphobia ft repression gets loud
• her music taste is mostly grunge, punk and some alt bands she discover in stanford but dean call all of it emo “oh fuck off sammy, i let you drive once and you already put this emo shit” “dean this is literally nirvana, you cant call everything made after the 80’s emo”
• when she came out to bobby his reaction was literally “so now you’re a girl?” “uh… yeah” “gonna change your name or something?” “now is samantha but sam is still fine” “okay, now look this sigil... (and went back to the lore they were searching)”
• sam’s catholicism being more portrained on screen and how the dilemma of being a Christian and queer filled sam with religious guilty
• her paranormal powers also showed up sooner and since the beginning she knew something was wrong. her throat felt sore every time she recited the rituale romanus and holy water made her skin itchy. the older she got, the harder those “symptoms” became and with her denial, desire to be normal combined with religious guilt, it was easier to just convince herself that all this was just god punishing her for living in sin.
• surprisingly, all the demons and angels (and most of the monsters) even being assholes treats sam with the right pronouns
• which make sam and cas fist encounter even more interesting because cas literally turns to dean and go “is this your sister, samantha winchester?” “yeah” “ABOMINATION”’
• samruby second (cause the real first was ruby killing the seven deadly sins and stuff) encounter on the other side was a little more like "why are you following me?” “because youre tall and tall women are sexy as fuck” (then sam’s brain was short circuited for a sec because her height make usually makes her dysphoric)
• between s3-s4, dean still in hell, there would be a scene of one of the first times that sam drank blood to exorcise a demon with her mind. so here they are, demon tied in a chair and trapped in a trap, sam with blood all over her chin and ruby looking at her all heart eyes. Sam tries to do the exorcism but it doesnt work so ruby says sam needs more blood. Sam responds that shes nauseous and if takes any more shes gonna puke (cause you know voluntary vampirism came too natural in canon and that disturbs me) so the demon, who's wearing a cheerleader as a vessel, laughs and says "you know sammy, for real women blood tends to be a natural thing". ruby kills her on the spot.
• speaking of the catholicism (and the blood drinking) again, sam prays every single time before/after drinking demon blood, ruby mocks her for it but she doesnt care. its a weird feeling because even thinking that what shes doing is right, that she needs to get strong to kill lilith, it still feels bad, unholy in some sense.
• of course lucifer tempted her in s5 not only appearing as jess but also saying things like "why samantha, after all, are you willing to sacrifice yourself for a society that treats you like scum, that looks at you like a freak?"
• no need to say that in 05x04 "The End" episode when dean faces lucifer using sam as his vessel, she's wearing an outfit way cooler than that abbey-road-john-lennon-white-suit (to know what i mean search amanda seyfried 2018 met gala look THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!!!!!)
• even after being clean of blood drinking, sam still has some of her paranormal powers. she can't do exorcises with her mind anymore but she can move small objects with telekinesis (she doesn't do it in front of dean cause she knows it would scares the fuck out of him)
i also had a list of some episodes rewritten in this au but this list is already long, guess i'll post later
#daaaaaaamn i have so many feelings about this#hbo supernatural#trans sam winchester#supernatural#samruby#transfem sam#lesbian sam winchester#kripke era#yeah im projecting#headcanon#mine
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megstiel and samruby
starting off with the sexiest ones sooooo true <3
megstiel: look, it’s gender swapped enemies-to-lovers where the girl is evil one getting soft and the guy is the good, pure hero going bad (okay, this is samruby a bit too…) how am I, a simple bisexual, not supposed to be into that. I love that meg was a whole fleshed out character with a story and history and motives of her own way before meeting castiel (unlike most female interests on this show #RIP) and that their relationship was basically all chemistry-based in the beginning because they had sooooooo much. and then s7 happened and she stayed with him under the pretense of it just being her main form of self-protection, but it’s clear they actually began to care about each other and wanted to keep the other safe. she actually looked out for him and defended him against the winchesters when he was already in a very vulnerable, self-hating period and I’m like “yes go off queen.”
sometimes I wish the rest of her arc hadn’t been just about them in the end but it’s okay because it was such a bittersweet, tragic ending and done well all considering. I also wish they had a lot more onscreen interaction while they could and it makes me insane how they never show cas grieving her, even for people who somehow only saw it as platonic (which HOW????) you can’t deny that was an important friendship for him at least y’know. but also consider: when he calls her thorny beauty <333
samruby: SAMRUBYYYYY. I used to be “I don’t actually ship it, because it’s #toxic” can you believe. now I’m very “I see it, I enjoy it” + your samruby endgame & t4t truthing definitely made me see the light and enjoy it more and see the true depth of it. so many people were involved in manipulating sam to make the apocalypse happen from the angels to azazel & lilith, but ruby never saw sam as just her part of the lucifer group project. she ALWAYS saw it as helping sam reach his true potential and stop being afraid of his powers and become the king of hell she knew he could be.
and she cares about him soooooo much. we don’t talk enough about how she’s the only reason he’s still alive. like, his revenge mission in-between s3 and s4 was becoming a suicide mission and she refused to let him isolate himself and work/drink himself to death. she protected him, stayed with him, and helped him get stronger & smarter instead. she's literally the only reason he’s still alive, the reason why he kept fighting and got confidence in himself.
also as basically the only m/f romance we get to see interact naturally and often onscreen because spn refuses to let women be main characters, their interactions in s4 make me sooooo. like yes there is the obvious inherent sexiness of blood drinking, that is a given. but they have multitudes! they’re SOFT around each other!! the way she encourages him and cheers him on as he masters his abilities <3 the way he smiles at her approval and support <3 <3 the way she jokes about him being a buff nerd <3 <3 <3
I think in canon the ending is definitely a tragic love story, with ruby truly believing they felt the same and were on the same page (which is still delicious tho.) but with how many pointless characters got added and brought back later on, there was sooo much they could’ve done with a ruby resurrection (not whatever that cameo in s15 was.) a redemption arc, her turning against lucifer, her mysterious past being explored, her and lilith being besties. a sam and ruby relationship post-apocalypse would've been so interesting. like it was the biggest betrayal of his life but also he owes her everything and truly never felt more powerful & confident in himself than when he was with her. also I think it’s insane that they almost never bring her up after s4. like that was the most important relationship of his life outside of jess and you’re just never going to bring that up. I cannot find the suncaptor post about it, but is that he feels like he can't grieve her?
last note: my controversial samruby opinion I guess is that I refuse to think ruby 1.0 & ruby 2.0 are different demons (RESPECT the long con) but do enjoy the ruby-is-jess headcanons when I’m feeling evil (jess and ruby both believed in sam and hated how his family treated him, coincidence? maybe, maybe not)
send me a ship and I’ll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it
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Empty Promises V
[Part 5] Cas is struggling to adapt to his new powers as well as the changes happening between Dean and himself.
The next morning, Cas lit up as Dean walked sleepily into the kitchen, and the lights flickered slightly. Could’ve just been a coincidence, but Dean grinned over at the Angel nonetheless.
“Morning, sunshine,” Dean’s voice gravelled, and yet again the lights flickered.
“Good morning, Dean,” Cas responded self-consciously.
“Sammy,” Dean nodded a greeting, “Jack.”
“Morning, Dean,” Jack grinned happily.
The hunter poured coffee into a chipped gray mug before taking the seat next to Cas at the table.
“So,” Sam looked up from his laptop, “Jack and I are going to go out for a bit today.”
“Sam’s taking me to play putt-putt,” the new god beamed.
“And what? We’re not invited?” Dean feigned offense.
“No, you two are going to figure out how to get Cas’ powers under control,” Sam shot back, an amused gleam in his eye.
“I’m perfectly in control,” Cas huffed.
“Dean, smile at Cas,” Sam deadpanned.
Dean laughed but acquiesced and the mug in his hand cracked down the side, leaking coffee into his lap.
“Oh shit,” Dean jumped up and rushed to grab another mug, “Yeah, okay.”
He looked fondly at Cas as he approached again.
“We‘ll figure this out,” Dean placed a hand on Cas’ shoulder and grinned down at him warmly.
His eyes darted around for a moment before settling back on the Angel again.
“Hey,” he exclaimed proudly, “We’re getting better already!”
“Well, you two have fun with that,” Sam rolled his eyes, “Don’t forget, Eileen is coming over tonight, so it’ll be dinner for five.”
“Hell yeah, I’ll make burgers!” Dean smiled brightly.
“Jack, go finish getting ready and we’ll head out,” Sam nudged him, and the nephilim was off down the hall with no objections, “Please don’t blow the place up while we’re gone…”
“Jack could probably fix it,” Dean shrugged.
“Let’s not test that theory,” Sam gathered his things and disappeared around the corner as well.
“This is so embarrassing,” Cas spoke to the table, avoiding Dean’s gaze.
“Hey, you got super charged less than 48 hours ago, give yourself a break,” Dean wrapped an arm cautiously around his shoulder, “Let’s watch a movie today… or start an old tv show and binge watch til we’re tired of it…”
“Yes, that sounds nice,” Cas’ lips turned upward as his eyes found Dean’s.
“Okay, cool,” Dean spoke softly, eyes cutting toward the other man’s lips as he absentmindedly leaned in.
“The lights,” Cas warned.
“Fuck the lights,” Dean leaned in the rest of the way.
“Just focus on me, I got you…” he prayed in his mind, and the light above them stopped brightening to return to its normal shine, “There you go, Angel…”
“Dean,” Cas sighed into his lips.
It was short but sweet, neither willing to push their luck just yet.
“We should get all cozy and order pizza,” Dean pulled away, with a soft look, “Make a whole thing out of it… I could loan you something of mine… Get you out of that trench coat for a change.”
“Whoa-Kay,” Sam came to a quick stop in the doorway, “You guys aren’t playing around… I mean, at least wait til I can get the kid out of the house…”
“You misinterpret,” Cas amended, sitting up straighter in his chair.
“Yeah, Sam, get your head out of the gutter,” Dean smirked humorously.
Sam rolled his eyes, “We’re headed out. See you guys later.”
“Bye!” Jack waved excitedly.
“Have fun!” Cas called to Jack.
“So, what movie do you want to watch?” Dean turned back as the others vanished down the hallway.
“You want me to choose?” Cas looked at him in skeptical surprise.
“Depends on what you pick, but yeah,” Dean shrugged.
Cas rolled his eyes at himself before he even said the words.
“Let’s watch Dr. Sexy…”
“Wait, really?” Dean looked at him with barely hidden excitement.
“Yes,” Cas looked like he was steeling himself for a battle, “I will try not to let the medical inaccuracies bother me.”
“You aren’t going to be disappointed,” Dean winked, “The men in it are- wait, I never asked… I should probably know if we’re really doing this I guess,” he added off-handedly, “Are you… Do you just like guys..? I mean, there was Meg and that reaper lady, and I always got a weird vibe around Hannah-”
“I had a curiosity with April, and yes, a fondness for Meg, but I have only ever really wanted you,” Cas replied thoughtfully, “I have no need for labels, myself, but if it makes you more comfortable, I could try to come up with something that fits-”
“No,” Dean stopped him with a sweet expression in his eyes, “No, that’s perfect…”
“I always got the impression you liked women exclusively…” Cas seemed to tread carefully even though it was Dean who had brought it up.
“Yeah,” the hunter cringed slightly, “I was in some pretty deep denial, but there were moments in my past that should’ve clued me in better… You’re the Uh… this is the first time I’ve really…”
“I understand,” Cas nodded.
“Yeah,” Dean relaxed a bit before a gleam shone in his eye, “Let’s get you changed and steal everyone’s blankets.”
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@spuffy-destiel @skylerkernaghan
#dean winchester#castiel#sam winchester#jack kline#jack winchester#castiel x dean#destiel#destiel fanfic#destiel fic#deancas#deancas fanfic#deancas fic#spn#supernatural#finale fix it#15x18 coda#castiel lives
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here are episodes i would have added that adequately use jack’s powers:
changing channels. obviously. im thinkin its probably ala hunter heroici where hes in a coma and warping reality so dean and cas and sam are traipsing through his coma mind of riverdale and the fake kids show they made up because sesame street said no you cant use our character in the serial killer show and. doctor sexy (he watched it with dean once)
french mistake TWO! idk how this one would get pulled off. probably he jets em over there bc something’s after them. who cares. must a plot have reasoning. is it not enough to see actor men, mean and bullied,
body swap. this one could probably be swung as jack going hmmm well i have to be 18 or older to do [thing].... i will simply swap with sam to do so and. oops. i’ve swapped everybody!
more truth spells that’s always a funny lil conceit
i really really really want to see jack in riverdale
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“They say love is weakness.” Cas’ gaze is somehow turned inward and focussed all at once. “But I’ve never felt as strong as when you are by my side.”
Dean stares.
It’s all he can do to stop his jaw from dropping to the floor.
Clearing his throat, Dean attempts in vain to gather some grace in the face of Cas’ unyielding romanticisms. “No need to sweet-talk me, Romeo, I’m already in your bedroom.”
Cas just smiles at him.
It’s that same sly little bastard smile he shows off when he’s trapped an opponent in a corner – sure of his victory. It’s sexy as hell.
Slowly, menacingly, he steps closer, vanquishing the space between them. You can’t win a staring contest with someone who doesn’t need to blink, Dean’s learned that first hand. Yet, he can never seem to look away from all that blue. He thinks he gets it now, the helpless compulsion sailors feel hearing the sirens’ song.
“Beloved,” he breathes, and Dean’s knees nearly buckle. “You are the fuel that powers me. The grace that sustains me. The wind beneath my wings.”
Dean snorts. “Okay, almost got me there, Bette Midler.”
Head tilted, the smile on Cas’ lips never wavers. Cocky bastard.
Launching a counter-attack, Dean quickly rids himself of his shirt. Sometimes the bluntest actions earn the best results.
Cas’ gaze falls, tracing the outline of freshly exposed skin, considering. Eyes not straying from their target, he cants his head to the other side in a curt nod. Seems like judge, jury and horny rebel angel let him have this round.
Dean can make a compelling argument, if he can say so himself.
#putting some spn content out there when my followers least expect it#i miss bendmeshapeme:'))#spn#destiel#ficlet#heli tries to write#stopping it hear bc i actually just wanted to get that first line out#idk how this spiralled into weird ppl foreplay but here we are#u need to know cas is 100% sincere here#it's dean's fault if he takes this as a pick-up line
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Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 94
Changing Channels/Planet of the Ood
“Changing Channels”
Plot Description: Sam and Dean get stuck in TV Hell when the Trickster imprisons them in an alternate universe
Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: they play out like a sitcom, I think I can handle that
My question off the bat is: is this the episode we find out the trickster is actually Gabriel? Yes, THAT Gabriel
God these bright almost Barbie-esque colors when your so used to the grimdark colors spn usually is
And GODDDD the cheesy lines and laugh track. I cannot.
I’m dying at this late 80s/early 90s sitcom opening. It’s very much Full House
Oh another Ohio episode!!
I’m sorry. What?? The Incredible Hulk killed this woman’s husband?
This “if we can’t befriend this super powerful being, fine, we’ll kill him” stance IS kind of funny
This is possibly one of if not the best/funniest episodes of this show
DEEEEAN!! Your composed descriptions of all the female doctors as “sexy yet [other adjective that actually describes part of a personality]” compared to when THE Dr Sexy appears. You can barely make eye contact
The over dramatics of it all
CAS!!!
“Mr Trickster does not like pretty boy angels” 😂
So if you’ve been missing for DAYS, how have you not beat the game??
Poor Sam first gets hit in the nuts and then has to do a genital herpes commercial lmaooo
Angels have such a fascinating way of coercing the Winchesters
The number of times the boys put on their sunglasses in this CSI Miami remake. Just love it
I FORGOT THEY DO A NIGHT RIDER SEGMENT!!! With Sam as the impala
Some of the best episodes are all fun and games for the majority and then they drop some of the heaviest shit in the last segment. In the middle of the episode, we find out “the trickster” is doing this to get the Winchesters to not only play their roles in his little game but in the real world as Michael and Lucifer’s vessels. But then…we find out Gabriel just wants this spat between his brothers to be over with already. The Winchesters fucked things up and now his brothers are at it again, this time without dad there to do any intervening.
Man the lengths Dean will go to for Castiel. He just threatened an archangel’s life like it would have no repercussions
“Been On My Mind…”: sort of. Like…they were illusions created by Gabriel, but…I dunno, bump it back up to 7??
“Planet of the Ood”
Plot Description: a dying Ood leads the Doctor and Donna to discover a terrible truth about the human race
Good for that Ood. Doubt they’ll let them live much past killing the guy selling his kind, but good for them anyway
I fucking LOVE her, comparing the TARDIS to a “real, proper spaceship” by calling the TARDIS a box and the rocket a Ferrari
Mmmmm, I’m pretty sure that guy gets turned INTO an Ood
GODDDDDD the way she cares for the dying and then dead Ood. Like, she does get one short freak out of seeing him for the first time, but she’s so gentle after
Ew ew ew, they’ve programmed these living beings like they’re little more than robots
I love how the companion automatically becomes very interested in whether or not the Ood have a say or fair compensation for all this. (Interesting though they didn’t write an Ood episode for Martha. Not that I 100% trust they would have done it right)
This Ood’s long game in revenge is brilliant
Honestly, Donna has to put up with a LOT in her time. Last episode it was the Doctor’s decision over what to do about Pompeii and now they’re dealing with transgalactic slave trade. It’s no wonder she WANTS to go home
I honestly can’t wait til Donna’s big speech. Her line about the Ood NEEDING to trust every being they come across because they’re born with their brain in their hands. She’s wonderful
I read that this was supposed to be the episode after Partners in Crime but RTD didn’t wanna put such a “macho” episode so early. And while there are a bunch of guns and explosions, it is at its core about compassion and treating others with dignity and about liberation and community
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Anyways if I was gonna do an epic s8 rewrite:
y’all remember that Sam and John parallel they set up all the way back in s1 and didn’t do anything with bc the writers collectively forgot abt it? Payoff time babey. Put a pin in that.
Anyways. The first ep opens exactly where s7 ended. Dean and cas just vanished. Dick is exploded. Kevin is freaking out. Crowley is gloating.
Like I think sam should snap. He’s just been through the wringer. He’s been beat down and beat down for a solid year at this point. He’s lost and grief stricken and doesn’t know what to do, but he gets Kevin out and away from crowley. And then Kevin looks at him and says there was something else on that tablet. It said there was a way to seal hell off forever.
ok so. lemme explain some things. I think that sam is at his core a very angry person, just like dean at his core is always afraid. So like. Dean will lash out and use anger to cover his fear. Sam tries to sublimate and suppress his anger by choosing to be kind instead. and i think that s7 made him feel too tired and helpless to be angry, UNTIL kevin accidentally gave him an outlet. so like. I wanna see sams repression skills fail. I wanna see him lose the last shit he had left to give and go absolutely balls to the walls insane. I want a mystery spot 2.0: This Time It’s Permanant.
And HERES the payoff of that little parallel. Sam latches onto revenge the way that John latched onto his. like theyre operating under the same delusion: if i kill the thing that destroyed my life, I’ll experience some sort of catharsis.
So like. Sam goes off the deep end. I think he starts off by going full witch, but I think it would be extremely sexy if he eventually started drinking demon blood again. Kevin is like. i dont think this is right but idk enough about hunting or witchcraft to dispute it. They’re on an evil road trip trying to track down the demon tablet and kill crowley once and for all. This is the A plot.
The second ep opens with dean landing in purgatory. This is the B plot.
The season alternates between Sam doing evil fucked up shit on his and Kevin’s revenge road trip and dean doing fucked up shit in purgatory
Sam and Kevin get ahold of the demon tablet for a bit, and decode enough of it to start doing the trials. that happens in s8 right? im only halfway thru.
Idk if spn has a mid season break, but halfway thru the season shit pops tf off. Sam completes the first trial, and in the same ep dean finally gets out of purgatory. that would happen in the last ep before the midseason break. idk yall i havent watched a tv show live in literal years.
Speaking of purgatory, I think it’s dumb that the angels scooped cas out of purgatory. So I’m changing it. Instead, cas goes out of the portal with dean, but the angels scoop him mid-transit. Dean wakes up alone in the woods and cas wakes up in heaven, speaking with Naomi.
I think there should be a power struggle in heaven, between Naomi and metatron. They’re fighting to control lesser angels like pawns. Naomi has an edge because she can like. Brainwash angels into being loyal to her, but metatron LOVES murder and manipulation. Girlboss of him.
Shit REALLY pops tf off in the second half of the season. Sam is doing the trials. Kevin is helping Sam do the trials. Dean is desperately trying to get Sam to stop, because the trials are actively killing him. Dean is also having a really hard time adjusting to normal life after being in purgatory. Cas is actively being brainwashed by Naomi. Crowley found the angel tablet, and now he’s trying to close heaven, while simultaneously trying to fend off winchester and co
Crypt scene! It’s exactly the same. Naomi tries to make cas kill dean, but he breaks free and fucks off with the angel tablet. its extremely homoerotic. Dean DOES say i forgive you, cas. I love you.
Metatron finds cas after he fucks off and convinces cas that the only way to save earth from getting caught in the crossfire of a three-way war is to close off heaven, while the winchesters close off hell.
The end is the same as canon. Metatron tricks cas into giving up his grace, and then uses it to make all the angels fall. The last shot of the season is that one with all the angels falling from the sky.
In conclusion why so many flashbacks when you could just start the season at a different point in time mr. carver. explain your thought process to me.
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