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chocsra · 13 days

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✧ "YOU CLING TO YOUR PAPERS AND PENS;

(wait until you like me again)"

☆ synopsis ↺: your ex, chuuya nakahara drunk calls you, only to realise you're all he ever wants. (based off arianas song: we can't be friends (wait until you like me again)

☆ content ↺: angst, slight stormbringer spoilers, swearing

Haunted - (of a place) frequented by a ghost.

—You were no ghost, Chuuya knew that. But in the rise of the sun, and awakening of the moon, he was haunted.

No, he didn't feel haunted. He's convinced he is, even if the fuel to propel those kinds of shitty thoughts is getting drunk on days when he should be resting.

—

"I want to burn every memory of you."

Chuuya murmurs under his breath, gloved fingers twirling the base of the wine glass to stimulate his turbulent thoughts—vibrant emotions that swish in the swell of his chest.

"You'd have to burn your own skin." A sweet voice breaks through the bitter taste of the red wine dissolving on his tongue. The statement and hollowness of your voice make him sharply turn behind him. Nothing. Just his empty office, the window before it, the cold air dancing around his tensed-up figure. Your absence evocative him.

Chuuya exhales sharply, a chill running up his spine. "My own skin?.." He takes a slim hand to card his russet locks in a cold confusion, scoffing just a bit. "Shit."

The mafioso leans back in the leather seat of his chair, before pouring the last of his wine bottle into the glass. Patting down his bolo tie and white dress shirt, he decides to waste this night drowning in red wine. A heavenly distraction from the reality of your hauntings, or the reality of your absence.

18k worth of alcoholic beverages wasted, down in the trash. Inaudible words conform on the curve of his lips, words of plea. It was a huge contrast to when Chuuya left you. "I'm sorry, really am.." he whispers, remnants of his scarlet wine ghosting over his lips. Fedora placed atop his head, covering his face, Chuuya lazily took out his phone, punching in his password with the messy coordination of his gloved fingers.

You're here, that's the thing.

Your number.

The mafia executive takes a shy and longing peek at your contact. Your last call 3 months ago, your profile picture stained with an old photo of you kissing his knuckles with an innocent smile tugging on your lips, and his thumb hovering over the 'call' button. Even in this drunken state, in the back of Chuuya's mind, he knew calling you would be audacious and pathetic. Especially when he left you first, but in the front of his mind, all he wanted was you. To hear your voice, either empty or full anger, or your voicemail, polite and concise, to hear the humanity that he lost by losing you.

The winter night

Chuuya presses on the call button, his screen lighting up and ringing. No real expectation that you were going to pick up, considering the time and caller. In the sea of his heart, that dreadful feeling was fought back by the artistic shuffle of his delusions. His once romantic poems chanted a mantra for you to pick up, that you were going to pick up the phone, not your ghost.

Chuuya's brows furrow, planting a line in the middle of his glabella. On this chilly night, where the usual jazz tunes of ensembles played in the Port Mafia's lobbies, musky scents and a hint of jasmine, and the click and clatter of heels and dress shoes..

My heart grieves;

..Chuuya feels himself yearning. Yearning for something more than this. The scent of home, your articles of clothing, your skin. He wants back the memory he wants to burn so badly, to smell the smoke and die on that same hill..

Greives without reason…

.."Please pick up." He feels himself pleading. Chuuya may tell himself you're all he wants right now, alcohol running wild in his noggin. However, he questions if he even knows what he needs..

My heart is rusting, turning purple.

.."Hi, you've reached [Y/N]. Thanks for calling, can't answer at the moment though. But if you leave a message I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

Beep.

The night ends as Chuuya gently shuts off his phone.

But his first dream starts once enough alcohol is in his system.

They say the mind blocks out traumatizing memories to save itself from despondency. Nakahara Chuuya dreams, but he cannot grasp to remember that concept. Maybe, it's awful memories from his childhood or hallucinations from the children of the Sheep, or the Flags; Albatross, Doc, Pianoman, Iceman and Lippman.

"I'm sorry, if I stay with you, you'll just get hurt."

As if he was restricted in the ocean of his mind, Chuuya sees you and himself in your living room.

"I won't! You can send your bodyguards for protection, it's fine."

A constricted groan pulls from Chuuya's throat as he stares at the couch, wooden flooring, and anything but your pleading face. He remembers this all too well, the evening you separated. It was when Dazai left the mafia, and Chuuya continued to see his men drop like flies day after day from just his job alone. Apart from the other half of his soul disappearing completely, every piece of humanity he built up came crashing down on the body that his older brother called 2383 lines of code.

"It's not other people, it's myself! Don't you fuckin' get it?!"

A piercing silence fills the room. Aside from Chuuya's heart dropping at his own hurtful words, he tries to shut himself up, for looking at the way your eyes conform from pleading to understanding was all too much.

His voice cracking from the boiling misery in the pit of his stomach, Chuuya continues to look down, refusing to meet your teary eyes.

"You won't gain shit by being with me. I'm a monster, [Y/N]. I'm sorry."

The mafioso stares right at your pitiful figure, crystal tears poking the corners of your eyes. Like the hauntingly beautiful ghost he's ever seen through tunnel vision, Chuuya hasn't seen your truthful humanity in so long. For he saw you—a figment of himself, as he saw himself; inhuman.

...

"I'll always love you."

Chuuya snaps awake on his office chair, rays of sunshine ghosting over his ivory skin.

Pant.. Pant.

The man's eyes gaze at the loose ends of his office: the empty wine bottle, his dishevelled clothing, and the same, corporate-filled air surrounding him. Then, his phone.

2 missed calls.

Chuuya inhales sharply.

Perhaps it was the remnants of his dreadful hangover that took over him, that made Chuuya make the stupidest decision the Port Mafia has ever. But, his drunk words were his sober thoughts and, he wanted you back.

From [Y/N] [L/N].

Sent 7:35 AM — "Are you okay?"

And so, he swiftly grabbed his overcoat and dashed out of his office.

—

Mwah!

"I, Nakahara Chuuya, vow to love you forever and ever."

The man, bent down on one knee kisses the back of your hand teasingly. Chuuya Nakahara always took it next level, his grand gestures and sophisticated aura made him all the more appealing. That also meant planting an abundance more kisses on your fingers and knuckles.

You two had this unspoken code for each other: that hand kisses were an extremely valuable thing. Since Chuuya believes his hands are the ignition for Corruption, and are usually used for destruction, you could've chosen to have done anything with his ungloved hands to avenge the lives he's taken; but instead, you choose to kiss them.

"You're being corny again," you giggle, pointing to the bouquet in your hand—irises. "you even got me flowers."

You hit his head, huffing. "Hey!"

The mafioso smirks, chuckling. "I think you should be proud of yourself though," He teases, rubbing your hand gently, "you finally cooked something other than instant noodl—

Thwack!

—

In a disorienting manner, Chuuya hops off his motorbike at your workplace. Inhaling softly as he holds a bouquet of irises. All kinds of turbulent thoughts ran wild in his head, especially since he didn't get to shower yesterday. The man patted down his clothes and fixed his fair, adjusting his wrist to check his watch.

8:54.

Your work starts at 9:00 sharp.

Just as he's rushing to adjust his raven collar and fedora, the sight of your hair and work uniform catches his eye.

"Wait!"

—

Distance, timing and expectations.

The great adversaries of love.

A person cannot change distance or timing, but expectations are self-inflicted.

Chuuya felt like you were always going to expect more from him because he felt like he lacked in every way besides destruction. He expected that he was going to hurt you after Dazai left the Port Mafia, like a lingering spirit after they've lost their other half. Chuuya was responsible for inflicting negative 'what if's because of his own insecurities, losing you in the process.

He expected because you wanted him to stay back then, you were going to want that forever.

Because that's clearly not the case right now.

—

The redhead finally sees you in the sea of passersby, a clear image of your smiling face, pretty outfit, and glowing aura.

You stood out to him just like before.

So did the man beside you, with a bouquet of daffodils.

He took a fancy bow and kissed the back of your hand, handing over the flowers.

Oh, how irises—the flower of light, brought nothing more to him than darkness.

As crystal tears paint his eyes, Chuuya ponders the ache in his heart. He was truly foolish to believe more in your ghost, than you.

✧ chocsra™

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luneariann · 1 year

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<33

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awoogayanderes · 4 months

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“i wish you didn’t love me,” you say to chuuya as moonlight shines on both of you.

“if i had a choice, i wouldn’t,” he says, a gloomy tone lingering to his words.

“you do have a choice, you can turn away from me and leave at any point, forget about me,” you say, almost as if you’re running him off.

“leave the only person who i genuinely feel like a human with ?” chuuya asks rhetorically.

you can only sigh, you know maintaining this friendship isn’t healthy for both of you, yet you care about each other, in your own ways.

“do you…do you think you’d ever be able to love me ?” chuuya asks, looking at you with genuine curiosity in his eyes.

“no, not at all.”

#written by terra #sincerely terra #engraved with bitterness #bsd #bsd x reader #bsd manga #bsd manga spoilers #bungou stray dogs #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya bsd #bungo stray dogs chuuya #chuuya x reader #bsd chuuya #chuuyabsd #chuuya nakahara #chuuya angst #chuuya nakahara angst #bungou stray dogs chuuya #chuuya

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aphroditesswan · 9 months

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OML THANK U FOR RESPONDING TO MY QUESTION 😭🙏

Okay so like how about this...

Chuuya and reader/y/n are dating, but she's been hanging out with dazai more often then with him. But in reality they ploting a surprise for him for an anniversary or his birthday! (Gender can be any I don't mind!)

Angst to fluff please 😢🙏

Can be either a short fic, headcanon or anything I don't mind as long as ur confterble and happy! Anyways have a nice day/night (might request more in the future...) ♡♡

rather melodramatic, aren’t you?

chuuya nakahara x gn! reader

warnings : a lotttt of drinking, jealousy, insecurities in the relationship

summary : chuuya absolutely loses himself thinking of why you would pick dazai of all people over him to hang out with, jumping to conclusions until you get home to explain everything.

genre : angst to fluff with like one suggestive comment

notes : i listened to cigarettes out the window, a pearl, step on me, the other woman christmas kids, and mr loverman for this so if you see any references to those, they were most def intentional 😭

its been a week and you’ve been hanging around that idiotic dazai, probably out flirting and getting all close to him…

at least that’s how it was in chuuya’s eyes.

he was a bit delusional and when you sprinkle dazai in along with the absolute insanity that goes on in his head, it can’t lead to anything good.

maybe you’re growing tired of him, he thinks.

maybe you’ve grown to love that idiot more than him, he thinks.

there are infinite possibilities running through chuuya’s head as he consistently drinks away this thoughts, the days and nights feeling utterly, completely, inexplicably empty without you.

you fill the hole in his heart that he’s had for as long as he can remember, and to think he’d have dazai take that away from him??

not on his watch.

well… his sober watch.

he threw his hat onto the couch, grabbing a bottle of wine without even looking at the cabinets for a cup. he didn’t care at l this point, all he wanted was to forget the ache in his chest, the spinning in his stomach, the burn of tears in his eyes as he flopped his back flat on the bed, breathing deeply to at least try and calm himself even a little bit.

but he knew that was pointless.

he felt like nothing without you. sure he was an important figure in the Port Mafia but without you? please, his status and power could’ve meant the same as a dirty nickel he almost tripped on while walking on the sidewalk.

he opened the bottle, sitting up as he did so he didn’t spill it all over his soft silk sheets. those were expensive, not worth the mess he thought.

he chugged a bit of it, throwing the cork into a forgotten corner of the room as he threw his head back to throughly get the most out of his five second gulp.

he slammed it onto the nightstand, the aggression in his movements aimed at you, at dazai, at his insecurities. he tore his gloves off, throwing them onto the nightstand before putting his hands over his face, his fingers in his hair as he quietly cried into his hands.

he wished he was better. he knew him and dazai were a team at times, that you wouldn’t do this to him, that he was just as good as everyone else if not better…

but he couldn’t shake it. he couldn’t shake his insecurities, his anxieties all because of dazai.

he’d drink himself to death inside a prison cell before he admits that though.

he just wished that you wouldn’t disappear from his life, he’d let you do whatever you want as long as you stay with him. okay, that was a lie, he isn’t a pushover. a devoted boyfriend? absolutely but a doormat? never.

he grabbed the cold dark bottle of wine again, drinking and crying the rest of the sunset away as all he could think and worry about was whatever the hell you and dazai were doing and why you had barely texted him all week.

he paced through your shared bedroom, talking rather loudly to himself as he tried to come up with reasonable explanations, his reasoning for your absence getting more and more insane as he kept drinking.

thankfully, he heard you finally walk through the door. he quickly grabbed his hat, throwing it on as he went to meet you at the door with his cheeks flushed and his eyes dazed from alcohol.

“there you are! do you- do you know how long i’ve been waiting for you- to get back? i swear i was about to text you and ask what- what position you two were in for fucks sake i-“

he rambled on and on until he saw your amused yet concerned smile… and a gift bag in your hand…?

“what the hell- stop smiling like that! don’t tell me dazai got you that bullshit- you’ve got to be joking don’t tell me your-“

he was cut off by a kiss, his lips tasting like alcohol and his breath smelling the same. you counted the seconds until midnight like it was new year’s eve and although you could tell he was already breathless, you didn’t let go. he could hold out for just a bit longer, he’d have to.

as soon as it hit 12:00 and the notification for a very very special day popped up you let him go, the poor man almost falling straight into you.

“why-… the hell did you-“

“it’s april 29th chuuya.”

“what does that have to do with anything? i don’t give a single shit what the day is.”

“chuuya.”

“what??”

“it’s your birthday. happy birthday, love.”

you smiled, one hand still holding onto his shoulder and the other bringing up the gift bag you have for him. it takes him a good minute or two, but eventually his drunken mind put two and two together and figured out everything on its own.

“oh- ohhh… ugh, i’m so sorry dear.”

he groaned with a frown, his forehead falling onto your shoulder as he lazily wrapped his arms around your waist to bring you closer to him.

“it’s fine chuu, i missed you, you know. it’s not easy keeping secrets.”

“i’m glad you feel that way.”

he sighed into your shoulder, breathing in your scent. he thanked the gods that you didn’t smell a bit like dazai but just like you always do, maybe a bit tainted with wine and his cologne but that’s how he liked it, he was possessive like that.

“we can spend the day together… right? just us for today.”

“well after you get some sleep and a pill for your hangover, yes of course we can.”

“as long as you come with me, i accept.

“see? what would you do without me.”

“baby, i’m a wreck when i’m without you.”

sorry this was super short!! i wrote this at like midnight cause that’s when i get randomly motivated but i hope this is to your liking!! please feel free to request more :DD

#chuuya nakahara #chuuya angst #bsd angst #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs #chuuya x reader #bungo stray dogs angst #chuuya fluff #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya nakahara fluff #chuuya nakahara angst #chuuya nakahara bsd #chuuya bsd

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hopelessdazai · 2 months

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✿ 》Half Worth

╰⧼ 🪻 note.. ⧽ ; this is just a quick filler cause I'm going through my notes app it's super short ok. hi I'm gonna dissappear for a few. idk how long. enjoy.

╰⧼ 🌙 contents.. ⧽ ; pure angst. chuuya bottles up his emotions ( then drinks the bottle in the form of alcohol ). not a lot of warnings because it's like barely any text.

memories. so many of them, and yet such an inability to stifle them.

mornings were already a vaunrable time for chuuya, there was something always so stressful about them that caused an unconditional worry. a tightness inside, an excruciatingly painful feeling. one the mafia executive couldn't ever seem to handle.

usually, the male would continue about his day. biting the feelings back, until he could pour alcohol into the gaping hole in his chest. and even yet when it doesn't heal; he tried again the next day. but this day, in particular. his hold on himself seemed to snap. The overthinking was too much, he was never good enough for anybody. no matter how much done for them, how much sacrificed for their pleasure. he'd always be the last resort. the second option.

So he let out tearless sobs ; sliding down the wall and onto the floor of his bedroom. painful wails and cries from the heart echoed his walls.

chuuya would never allow anybody to see him this vaunrable.

#chuuya nakahara #bungo stray dogs chuuya #nakaharachuuya #nakahara chuuya #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs imagines #bungo stray dogs #bungou sd #bsd #bungo stray dogs angst #angst #chuuya angst #chuuya nakahara angst #nakahara chuuya angst #bungou stray dogs chuuya #bsd angst

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urgirlmoon · 2 months

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For once… I wish people would stop leaving me // Chuuya Nakahara x Reader

Warnings: Angst, fem!lead death early on, Female Reader, death(slightly very descriptive), blood, nicknames(Doll, Princess, etc.(All by Chuuya)), called Y/n by Chuuya once, Everyone else calls reader Miss Y/N or just Y/N, Let me know if I missed any!!

Words: 777(She's a short one but so worth it)

Now playing: As the world caves in by Matt Maltese

Please do not copy, translate or post on any other platforms this belongs to @urgirlmoon thank you :)

Ever since you were a child you always loved the idea of heroes and their stories. The older you got the more you realized that the villains were a better choice. The hero would sacrifice their loved one for the world while the villain would sacrifice the world for their loved one. No matter the cost they would try and get them back.

You didn’t know how you ended up in this situation. You were currently held hostage by Fyodor. Your fiance, the Port Mafia, and the ADA stood in front of you, a few feet away. You’re scared, of course you would be. Mori and Fukuzawa seem to be trying to reason with Fyodor while Dazai holds your fiance back from doing anything rash that could get you hurt. “And you guys really think that I would do that?” Fyodor’s voice brought you out of your trance.

At that moment everything seemed to go in a flash, loud screams as you felt something stab into your abdomen then it was twisted. You coughed up blood and fell to the ground. Fyodor ran and everything was a blur from there. “Doll. Look at me. Please.” Chuuya begged as he laid your head in his lap. After Fyodor ran off, everyone ran after him but a few people. Atsushi stayed back to call an ambulance, and Kenji stayed beside Chuuya’s side the whole time.

Oh how Chuuya wished Yosano was there. She wasn’t. She was currently at the agency building helping Junichiro who had gotten hurt pretty badly. “I’m sorry Chuuya… I wish it could have been different.” You said putting your bloody hand on his face. He looked startled “No. No no no no no! Don’t talk like that! NO! You aren’t leaving me! Princess please!” He seemed desperate, a lot different from the Chuuya you knew. “Were-tiger, Where's the ambulance?!” He asked Atsushi “ He didn’t look away from you at all.

“They should be here soon!” He said back, finally coming beside Chuuya and Kenji. “Miss Y/N please don’t leave.” Kenji said, crying. You hated seeing him cry. He was like a son to you. You looked back at Chuuya, not being able to look at Kenji anymore.

It seemed like all your memories were flashing in front of your eyes. All of your dates with Chhuya, your small hangouts with Kenji, your picnics with Kyouka and Atsushi.

Flashback

“Chuuya!” You yell as your then boyfriend picked you up kissing your face. You were laughing and he gave you a rare smile. It was one full of love and you both wouldn’t have it any other way.

Flashback

You and Chhuya were walking around when he spotted Kenji, hoping he wouldn’t see him, unfortunately he did. “Mr Nakahara!” Kenji yelled and ran up to the two of you “You know him?” You asked and Kenji looked at you “You must be Miss Y/N!!” Kenji said and you tilted your head to the side “Mr Nakahara talks about you when he takes me to lunch sometimes.” He says and Chuuya grumbles and you giggle. You all go out to lunch together and you and Kenji get along well, by the end of lunch you’ve grown attached and see him as if he was your own.

Flashback

Kyouka had always taken a liking to you when you would visit headquarters to visit your boyfriend and when she joined the agency she invited you to go on a picnic with you and Atsushi. That day you all had a lot of fun and promised to do it with them again sometime.

End of flashbacks

“I’m sorry Chuuya, I love you…” You said, smiling, as your hand fell from his face, falling limp in his arms.”Miss Y/N!” Kenji yelled, grabbing one of your hands, crying a lot harder than before. “Miss Y/N!! No, you made a promise to Kyouka that you would join our next picnic!” Atsushi yelled, finally falling on the ground crying “Y/N!!! NO! Answer me doll! Please!” He yelled. He put his hand on your face “Y/N! Please! Don’t leave me!” He seemed oh so desperate. No one had ever seen him like this.

The rest of the Port Mafia and ADA came back and saw him squeezing your lifeless boy to him, Kenji and Atsushi crying. Kyouka teared up for the first time since her parents died. Mori walked up to Chuuya and put his hand on his shoulder “Nakahara-san, You have to let her go.” Mori said and he just held tighter “No!” He yelled.

After much coaxing from everyone, he finally let go. That was the day he swore that he would not stop until Fyodor was either in jail or dead.

#chuuya nakahara #chuuya x reader #angst #bungo stray dogs #chuuya nakahara angst #bsd #bsd chuuya

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irish-journal · 8 months

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Daily reminder that Chuuya is always everyone's last choice

#chuuya nakahara angst #chuuya angst #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd stormbringer #dazai picked oda over chuuya #chuuya kinnie

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oh-ranpo · 2 years

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right there beside you

☾ -- pairing: chuuya nakahara x reader ☾ -- word count: 1.9k+ ☾ -- a/n: ANGST. hurt comfort fic. for the sake of this imagine, we're going to pretend that chuuya would have no access to yosano's power. i didn't want to hurt anyone, i swear. ☾ -- preview: when you end up in the hospital after an attack from a port mafia enemy, chuuya is faced with the uncertainty of your recovery.

It wasn’t supposed to end up like this. It wasn’t supposed to be you laying in this hospital bed, it was supposed to be him. Or, no, if it had to be someone, it should have been him. You were innocent in all of this. So, so innocent, it wasn’t fair. It made his blood boil in rage before it started simmering into a deep-rooted guilt that filled his stomach to the brim. This was his fault. It was his fault that you were here. If you never would have gotten mixed up with him and his job, you would have been safe. You would be at home, asleep in your own bed instead of here, hooked up to all these annoying machines. Sure, he also wouldn’t be holding your hand and he wouldn’t have the precious memories of you that he held so close to his heart, but he was willing to make that sacrifice if it meant that you’d be okay. He’d let you go forever if you would just wake up.

As selfish as Chuuya could be, when it came to you, he was different. While he used to put his job first, now, that spot was reserved for you. That was what made this entire situation so unbearable. He wasn’t where he was supposed to be when you needed him most. He was too slow. He couldn’t… they didn’t… His mind raced as he thought about all the different scenarios that might have resulted in your safety. If he would have been faster to the scene, he could have stopped them. If he would have warned you about the case he was working on sooner, he could have protected you. But instead, he had kept everything a secret from you, and they had found you before he could find them. How was he ever going to live with himself if you didn’t get better? It was late, and while he was sure that the nurses had considered trying to kick him out by now, they also knew better than to even mutter the words in his presence. He might have been an executive for an operation that worked mostly in the shadows, but his reputation was still fairly prominent around the city. No one asked questions. No one ordered him around. And if they tried to send him away, he would have sent them straight through the floor without a moment’s hesitation. He couldn’t leave because he had to be here when you woke up. He had to apologize. Both of Chuuya’s gloved hands gripped yours tightly as he rested his head against the back of them. If he was a praying man, he would have begged a higher power to heal you. He would have sold his soul to the devil himself if it meant that you would come out of this without any lasting injuries. Tears welled in his eyes as he realized how helpless he was, and how there was nothing that he could do except wait. The hallway lights had been turned down, and the last time the nurse had come in to check on you, she had turned the room’s lights down as well. A majority of the light came in from the moon outside, and as alert as he wanted to be, Chuuya’s eyelids started to droop and he could feel the exhaustion from the day start to settle into his bones. It was amazing how ten hours could feel like a lifetime when something that meant so much to him hung in the balance. He wasn’t sure how much waiting he could do before he would start to lose his mind. Maybe he already had. Slowly, he lifted his head as he took another long look at you, his heart sinking in his chest at how vulnerable you looked. The bandage on your head was reminiscent to the one Dazai used to wear when they were younger, and Chuuya might have almost been amused if the situation wasn’t so dire. There was a bruise forming on your cheek and the cut along the side of your neck made his stomach turn violently. They had really done a number on you. If they weren’t already dead, Chuuya wouldn’t have hesitated to kill them again. His grip on your hand tightened as tears welled in his eyes and your name slipped past his lips. He was calling out to you despite not knowing if you could hear him. He murmured your name again, this time a little bit louder, in hopes that you would recognize his voice and come back to him. “I just want to see those pretty eyes of yours again, doll,” he smiled sadly as a lump formed in his throat. “You know how much I need that smile to get through the day.” When you didn’t stir, Chuuya let out a heavy sigh as the first tear fell to the bed covers in front of him. Would he ever see that smile again? Would he ever hear your laugh or enjoy the way your voice wrapped around his name? Would he ever get to experience the softness of your touch and the way your fingers would gently card through his hair as you laid next to one another in his oversized bed? Despite having all the space in the world, you always opted for sleeping right next to him, cuddled into his side or having him rest his head on your chest so that you could play with his hair as he dozed off after a long day. “I sleep better with you close to me,” you’d say, and Chuuya’s heart would skip a beat. As the thought passed through his mind, Chuuya found himself standing from his spot in the chair next to the bed and gently crawled into the space on the mattress beside you. He was careful not to bump any of the tubes that were connected to you as he slid under the covers, his arm resting across your waist as his head found its place on the pillow right next to you. He felt a tiny bit better being closer to you now, even though that nagging despair was still twirling in his chest, but he closed his eyes and pretended like he was back home. The two of you were laying in his bed, just like you did every night. The steady beeping of the machines was simply white noise as he allowed himself to sleep in the comfort of your presence. You would both wake up tomorrow morning, and all of this would be just a terrible nightmare. “Chuuya?” He dreamt about you. The two of you were laying in his room, just as he had imagined before falling asleep, and you were whispering his name as your fingers brushed along his skin. The light filtering in from the window gave you an ethereal glow, and he could feel deep within his soul that there was nowhere else he wanted to be. He didn’t care about the Port Mafia, he didn’t care about anything else except for laying next to you with your touch gliding up his arm, across his collar bone, and then your fingers wrapping strands of his hair around them, all while wearing a peaceful smile on your face. “Chuuya.” Your voice was louder this time, but there was something about the sound of it that didn’t feel right. Your voice was definitely more hoarse than it had been previously. It wasn’t silky smooth like your regular voice, though the love and care was still laced in his name. Your fingers were now pressed against his cheekbone as you slowly tilted his chin upwards to meet your gaze. “Chuuya, love, open your eyes.” He was confused. His eyes were open, so why were you asking him to do so now? His brow furrowed in confusion and his body stirred restlessly. The room around you slowly started to fade and he could feel you slipping away. No, he wanted to say, desperate to cling on to your presence a bit longer. No, please don’t leave me. Only when the room completely disappeared, his eyes were opening again and he was greeted with the blinding white light of the hospital room. The beeping of the machines were still steady, and his heart was racing as he fought to get his bearings. His stomach sank when realization settled in that the moment he had just shared with you had all been a part of his imagination. “Good morning.” The sound of your voice startled him as he turned his head to look at you. He was surprised to see you staring back at him, a soft, tired smile on your lips. “I was beginning to wonder when you would wake up.” He realized then that your fingers were nestled in his hair as your arm draped across his chest. He was laying on his back but you were laying on your side facing him, almost identical to how you had been in his dream. Tears immediately filled his eyes once more as he rolled onto his side to face you, before pulling off his glove as his own hand moved to cup your cheek. The bandage on your head kept him from brushing his fingers through your hair, but he could still feel your warm skin beneath his palm, grounding him in this reality. Your hand slowly moved to the back of his head, your fingernails gently scratching against his scalp in a way that always made him putty in your hands. The movements were languid and slow as you still seemed to be partially sedated, but you were awake and that was all that mattered. “I was… oh, doll, I am so… I can’t believe I let…” Chuuya stumbled over his words as he tried to come up with the right thing to say in that moment. I was wrong. I am so sorry. I can’t believe I let them get to you. Those were only a few of the things that weighed heavy on his mind, but before he could get any of those complete sentences past his lips, you were scooting closer to him - which wasn’t the easiest considering all the tubes you were still connected to - until your forehead rested against his own. “I’m right here, darling, and I’m going to be okay. You’re safe, I’m safe, and that’s all that matters, right? That we’re together?” The little pieces of his fragmented heart started to heal with your questions, and his thumb brushed across the apple of your cheek. A tear slid down his face as he nodded against you, his lips turning up slightly bringing about the first smile to grace his lips in the last 48 hours. “As long as you’re here, nothing else matters,” he murmured in response, and the laugh that he had grown to live for filled the room. “You’re such a sap, Chuuya,” you teased, pulling back just enough so that you could meet his gaze. His blue eyes sparkled as he stared back at you, feeling relief and love and adoration fill him up all at once. “But I love you and I’ll always come back for you. I’ll never leave you alone.” That was when he kissed you, his lips melding slowly with yours. He was as careful as possible so that he wouldn’t bump or aggravate any of your injuries. He just couldn’t help himself. “And you call me the sap,” he joked right back the moment that you pulled apart. “But I’m holding you to that promise.” The smile on your lips was all the reassurance that he needed. Nothing like this was going to ever happen again. He would bet his life on it.

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ay-chuu · 2 years

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Just thinking about Chuuya.

Arms entwined, Friday night, slightly sad mood, Maybe you're both thinking about your boring and overwhelming life. the people who hurt you, everything you have worked for and for nothing.

But... At least you two have each other :)

Yes, life hurts a lot, but at least at its worst, you have someone by your side even when you can't tell anything.

There is someone you can TRUST.

The sun is setting , you are both on the couch, Chuuya is smoking. Normally you would take it away from him... But you know that he needs it and even you can't afford to take a cigarette from him.

"Life sucks." You say to Chuuya with eyes that fill involuntarily as you think about what you've been through.

Chuuya smiles sadly. "Oh yeah, this shitty life."

He smokes his cigarette for the last time and throws its butt on the table next to you. After that, he wraps his arms around you again and kisses your forehead. Whic makes you relax.

“But strangely, life is still perfect enough to give me someone like you."

#chuuya #chuuya fluff #chuuya nakahara #chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #bsd #bsd chuuya #bsd fluff #lol im kinda sad anyways #chuuya nakahara angst #chuuya nakahara fluff #chuuyabsd

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yuyonyu · 7 months

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“What happened to arresting me, detective?!

I thought you were gonna show me the light…!”

#bsd stormbringer #chuuya nakahara #i saw this post where someone drew chuuya visiting murase’s grave talking about saving people whom they barely know #got sad #really sad #so i unleash the angst #he went thru sm pain (heartbreak)#MURASE AS CHUUYAS FATHER FIGURE EUEGEUEGH THE POTENTIAL #chuuya 16 #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #nakahara chuuya #stormbringer #angst

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lotus-pear · 3 months

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in love with tragedy

#did you know if i don't draw skk angst every month i will explode and Die #IN MY HEAD HE NEVER JUMPED #idk which version YALL read but in mine he does his dramatic speech on the roof and then walks away #and leaves aku n atsu there thinking “??????? bitch tf”#before going and filing paperwork while chuuya screams at him abt missing a meeting while he was out playing cards on the roof w sskk #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #nakahara chuuya #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #soukoku #skk #bungou stray dogs beast #bsd beast #beast soukoku #beast skk #lotus draws

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homoesia · 8 months

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visiting a grave [twilight goodbye]

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luneariann · 11 months

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Something something betrayal of the self

#depresssing Chuuya art completed #it’s been ages since I’ve done proper drawings awhshh #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs fanart #chuuya nakahara #chuuya #chuuya nakahara fanart #chuuya nakahara angst #chuuya nakahara bsd #chuuya nakahara bsd fanart #teen chuuya nakahara #nakahara chuuya #tw blood #tw injury #blood #injury

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twilicidity · 3 months

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#bungou stray dogs #bungou #chuuya nakahara #bsd chuuya #dazai osamu #skk #bsd dazai #bsd skk #soukoku #dazai x chuuya #bsd #bsd beast #beast dazai #bungou stray dogs beast #beast chuuya #beast skk #major character death #angst

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osachiyo · 6 months

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˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 by anonymous user ꒱. . . hello ! I really like your works, could I please request an insecure!reader with chuuya? and him fucking some sense into her? don't feel pressured to do this btw and feel free to ignore :D

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 note ꒱. . . here u go, nonnie ! I really liked this idea and sorry for taking so long on this request 😭 anyway, hope you enjoy ~~

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 c/w ꒱. . . (18+) n/sfw content, mentions of insecurities, body worshipper chuuya, praise, lowercase intended, hints of dumbfication, overstimulation, fingering, mirror sex, cunnilingus, chuuya eats it from the back !! 🗣️🗣️& more + not proofread

summary. . . you've been feeling insecure about your body and started to wonder if you were really good enough for someone like chuuya? but no worries, your lover doesn't mind reminding you how much he loves your body and more importantly, you.

you sighed, staring at your reflection in the fancy full-body mirror in front of you; god, you looked horrendous. you didn't know how chuuya, one of, if not the most beautiful man you've ever met, love someone like.. you.

what you also didn't know, though, was that your beloved chuuya had been standing in the doorway the entire time, slender figure leaning against the doorframe as a dull pain throbbed in his heart while he watched, heard you pick apart your body like it was the ugliest thing you had ever seen. he watched as you ran your fingers up and down the parts you hated the most, a frown tugging at your lips as you muttered something about "not being pretty enough". he didn't understand why you'd say such things about your body− all of those beautiful parts of yours that he cherished wholeheartedly.

you whipped your head around hearing the sound of the once slightly ajar bedroom door shut, your boyfriend entering the room. "hey doll, what're you up to?" chuuya's voice was heavy, laced with something you couldn't exactly put a finger on.

"hey, chuu," you smiled, though the action didn't meet your eyes. and chuuya could tell.

his eyes narrowed, gloved hands found their way around your waist, tugging you closer to him− your back flush against his chest. when did he walk all the way across the room?

"y'know, I heard everything right?" he muttered into your neck, strong arms tightening around your figure as you gulped nervously. "chuuya I−" "you're fuckin' beautiful. so don't say hurtful shit about yourself 'cause it for sure ain't true," he cut you off, now pressing soft kisses on the back of your neck to your shoulders, gloved hands reaching up your shirt to knead and gently caress your soft skin.

a whimper caught in your throat as chuuya's hands found your breasts− pushing your bra up to grope them under your shirt. "i love all parts of your body. fuck, you're so pretty. i'll fuckin' prove it to you if i have to."

"you see that, baby? see the way this pussy sucks my fingers in?" chuuya mused, now bare fingers plunging in and out of your sopping cunt as he had you spread in front of the giant mirror. "mm-! fuck, chuu−!" you were cut off by your own moans, beads of sweat forming on your forehead, making the little strands of your baby hair stick to your skin. "shh, baby. just focus on the way i finger fuck this pretty cunt, yeah?" your lover's voice was muffled by the soft kisses he was busy pressing all over your nape and shoulders, moving your hair out of the way to make it easier.

you could see everything in the mirror, from the way chuuya's slim fingers disappeared inside of your pussy to how much of a mess you've already become− glossy lips parted as loud moans and whines escape from your throat, the way your tits bounce and jiggle with each thrust of his digits. and hell, was it embarrassing. you jolted up when the tips of his appendages rubbed against that one spongey spot inside of your gooey walls− your jaw slacking as your eyes shut. only to receive a gentle but firm slap on your face from chuuya, "nuh-uh, baby. you're gonna watch how I please this beautiful body of yours," he growled lowly in your ear, fingers speeding up their pace as you twitch and whine in response. your vision was blurry− but you could still make out the way your face contorts to one of pure bliss in your reflection.

"yeaah− cum on these fingers, sweetheart," the ginger groaned as you soaked his fingers− your slick running down his wrist and staining the bed sheets underneath, soft curses and his name spewing out of your mouth as his fingers slowed down, aiding you to ride out your orgasm.

you gasped when he abruptly pulled them out of your still sensitive cunt− only to pop them in his mouth as he moaned from the taste of your juices melting on his tongue. "fuck, doll− I gotta taste you, need'a make you cum on my tongue−" he pushed you on your hands and knees before even finishing his sentence− a large hand pressing your back to a perfect arch, face down ass up.

"such a nice fuckin' ass," he groaned, fingers digging into the soft fat and spreading them as you whimper, pitifully clawing at the bed sheets. he playfully bit one of your globes, earning a whine in return which made him chuckle. chuuya's greedy hands ran down from your ass to your thighs, only to go back up to knead at your ass, "and these soft thighs− god, I could kiss 'em for hours."

and as if to prove himself, he started littering kisses all over your inner thighs, hands still kneading your ass before giving it a firm spank, making you jump. "hah, and of course−" he smirked before making his way to your pussy, "this pretty fuckin' pussy− prettiest one I've ever seen," he growled before diving in between your legs− hungry lips wrapping around your clit as you gasp out from the feeling.

"fu−ck! chuuya−!" you babbled, pussy still sensitive from your orgasm from earlier, his nose bumping against your slit as he runs his tongue in a zigzag motion across your clit. his fingers were spreading your ass apart for him, to get easy access to your sweet pussy that he wanted to devour so bad.

shamelessly nasty slurping noises came from between your parted thighs. your slick was already dripping down chuuya's chin as you tried your best to keep your gaze on the mirror, watching yourself getting eaten out from the back. fuck, your hair was a mess− your bare figure covered in bites and bruises that your boyfriend gave you, claiming it was his way of showing you were his. your makeup had been completely ruined; mascara running down your cheek in inky streaks, lipstick smudged− you looked utterly debauched, chuuya's favorite look on you.

a gurgled moan came out of your mouth when two fingers pushed inside of your sloppy pussy, the mafia executive's tongue now writing his name on your clit. a deep groan rumbled in his chest when you tried to run away from the feeling of his tongue and fingers on you− pulling you back before harshly cracking a palm down on your left globe, before curling his fingers further into you. tears were falling freely from your eyes at this point, mouth dropped to an 'o' as you chanted his name like a prayer− "chuu− please, fuck! s'too much−!" you cried out, if it weren't for chuuya's death grip on you, you'd already have fallen face first into the matress.

"you can− fuuck− take it, sweet girl," chuuya moaned into your pussy, the vibrations of the sound making your toes curl and apparently that was the last straw for you− "fuckfuck! 'm cummin'− cummingg−!!" your eyes rolled back into your skull as you squirted all over chuuya's face, his own hips rutting into the mattress as his eyes widen− he wasn't expecting you to do that.

chuuya gave your messy cunt a few more licks before kissing your clit, then pulling away. you looked back to see his face completely drenched− him licking his lips as he gave you a lopsided grin. "holy shit, baby. that was..." he muttered, still dazed as he ran his clean hand through his sweaty orange locks. you were still panting, chest heaving as you tried came down from the euphoric high before looking away in embarrassment, fingers fiddling with the sheets− then suddenly, you got slammed back against the bed. face down, ass up, again.

you heard a metal clink− likely his belt. the sound of expensive leather hitting the floor snapped you back into reality, he must've tossed the belt somewhere. it wasn't long before your thoughts got quickly cut off, chuuya's heavy tip slapping against your clit a few times as you whined, begging him to give you a rest but no− he wasn't gonna stop until he was sure he fucked all those negative thoughts out of your mind− wasn't gonna stop 'till all thoughts but his left that pretty little head of yours. you just had to sit still and take it, like the good girl you were.

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