#could REALLY use an undo button in character creation

[shortbreads]

just spend an hour making a dunmer character that looked badass and accidentally hit randomize

im ok

#haah #elderscrollsonline #could REALLY use an undo button in character creation #im not ok im sobbing

[tinkertayler]

Farscape feels like exactly the story I needed at this point in my life. It explores trauma, loss, love, loyalty, growth, and personal accountability in refreshingly mature, nuanced, and authentic ways. It just clicks with me. Had I watched it five years ago, I don’t think it would have clicked in quite the same way. I kind of think... and this might be a strange thing to say, but... I kind of think Farscape is to the latter half of my twenties what The X-files was to the first.

Despite their many obvious differences, Farscape and The X-files occupy similar places in my head and heart. At their cores, they are both science fiction love stories that revolve around their central couples. However, the way they handle those couples is dramatically different. This is due in part to their disparate tones and storytelling goals, but frankly, a lot of the differences between Mulder and Scully and John and Aeryn come down to the quality of the writing.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: John and Aeryn are what Mulder and Scully should have been, could have been, and would have been had Chris Carter not stood in the way of his own creation.

Much as I love it, The X-files' biggest failing is that it never fully committed to Mulder and Scully’s love story. While the show was always fundamentally about them and their (eventually romantic) love for each other, the writers allowed much of the dramatic potential to remain untapped and let many opportunities for relationship-building slip away. Simply put, the writers - Chris Carter, especially - were afraid to let the leads get together. They constantly hit the reset button. They gave us grand romantic declarations only to undo those declarations 45 minutes later. That kind of writing is cheap, manipulative, and frustrating as hell.

Farscape, on the other hand, committed to John and Aeryn's love story in the pilot and never wavered. The writers understood the power of that relationship and wholeheartedly embraced it. They were not afraid to let the leads get together. They didn't dare hit reset. They gave us grand romantic declarations and then forced the characters to live with those declarations and figure out how to move forward. That kind of writing is complicated, challenging, and satisfying.

In the end, John and Aeryn develop a more mature and healthy relationship than Mulder and Scully do, largely because the Farscape writers were willing to do what The X-files writers were not: openly, honestly, and consistently acknowledge that they were writing a love story. While The X-files is shrouded in mystery and emotional repression, Farscape is brightened by emotional availability and direct communication.

Not long ago, I found the aforementioned emotional repression and mystery of The X-files deeply alluring. I saw poetry and romance in Mulder and Scully’s denial and inability to openly articulate their feelings for each other. But these days, emotional repression and evasive declarations of love don't feel as poetic and romantic as they once did. What I really want more than anything is honesty and direct communication. And while Mulder and Scully fail to deliver on that front, John and Aeryn deliver in spades. 

If my early twenties were defined by quiet passivity; emotional repression; straight-laced professionalism; preoccupation with fear and the danger that lurks in the shadows; an affinity for the mysterious, the enigmatic, and poetic intellectualism; romanticization of codependence; and personal stagnation...

Then my late twenties are in many ways the diametric opposite, defined by assertive communication; emotional vulnerability; bold willingness to be true to thyself; illumination of fear and the danger that lurks in the shadows; an appreciation for the straightforward, the candid, and profound earnestness; respect for independence; and personal growth and change amidst chaos.

In other words, while The X-files spoke to who I was five years ago, Farscape speaks to who I am now. I still love The X-files, but it isn’t the story I need at this particular point in my life. Farscape is.

#here i go comparing apples and oranges again #mulder and scully have nothing in common with john and aeryn #i mean yes they do but also no they don't #they practically exist in different UNIVERSES #but still my brain says: PERFORM A COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS #so #here we are! #i have a lot of feelings today #farscape

[popculturebuffet]

Pinky and the Brain: A Pinky And the Brain Christmas Review or I Just Think Schotzie’s Neat

Christmas Continues on this blog... and getting away from one set of Christmas commissions and into another, I offered my friend Blahdiddy three commissions as a present. The other two we’ll get to eventually, but with Animaniacs on the brain, heh, due to the reboot, he selected two Pinky and the Brains and one Animaniacs for me to cover. And while I intended to cover this one sometime this month anyway, my friend’s recent and sad covid diagnosis meant i’m bumping this one all the way up to the front of the line so he has some christmas cheer during this rough time. So with that in mind let’s talk about pinky, pinky and the brain brain brain brain brain shall we? Of course we can’t really talk about pinky and the brain without talking about Animaniacs. I absolutely love the series, I grew up with it as a kid and reconnected with it as an adult when it ended up on netflix. It was smart, well animated and most importantly really fucking funny. I highly recommend checking both the original and reboot of it out some time if you have Hulu. Speaking of the reboot while I might go on in full about it at some point it’s pretty good, with some creatvie jokes, some nice updates, with Rita Anita Anrita being a great new addition to the warner side of things. It’s only real flaw is it gets a bit reptitious as for the most part there’s only really the warners and pinky and the brain with a few exceptions one of which DAMN well deserved at least two segments and we all know which one that is. 

Bring.. this.. to series. The warners and pinky and the brain segments weren’t bad, but as is inevitible in a screwball comedy some just weren’t as good as others and those fell harder when you’ve already seen 2 or 3 better versions of this sort of skit in the season. They did really find their groove towards the end and if you like both Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain, or even just one or the other, it’s worth checking out.  But enough about the reboot let’s talk about those labratory mice whose genes have been spliced. Thanks to wikipedia, I now know the duo were based on Eddie Fitzgerald and Tom Minton, who worked with Tom Rutgeter on Tiny Toon adventures, with menton being the one who came up with Narf, even saying it in one episode of Tiny Tunes. During the creation of animaniacs, Bruce Timm, yes THE Bruce Timm, sketched the two, and Ruetger added mouse ears and the rest was history. Maurice LaMarche was the one who added the Orson Welles to the character, as LaMarche saw the Orson Welles in Brain, ran with it and got the part and a long and storied career in voice acting as a result. In a nice and fitting bit of contrast, Rob Paulsen got the part.. because he was already on the show. Not to downplay Paulsen’s clear talent, I just find it hilarious. 

That’s about what I could dig up on the behind the scenes of the show. From what I can tell it was greenlit because Animaniacs was a massive it, and Pinky and the Brain was the most popular segment, so it just made sense. The show would likewise be a massive sucess with both adults and kids, and go on for three seasons and what should legally be considered a war crime. 

For those of you blissfully unaware yeah, that happened, no no one people actually LIKED from Tiny Toons was in it. And yeah if you want me to talk about it commission it otherwise not going near this one. While I do need to tackle more bad animation... I’ve successfully avoided watching an episode of this show for 22 years next wedsday, I’m not breaking the streak for free. 

But some.. things aside I remembered liking the series as a kid but just never got around to seeking it out as an adult. I had nothing against the animaniacs segments and I even still have a stuffed brain doll I got at a garage sale.. the pinky is sadly missing and persumed dead. I just wasn’t as bit into it as I was the slappy bits rewatching animaniacs and didin’t really see reason to watch the show. Watching this though made me realize I was wrong and I probably watch more of it in the future This special is damn good, i’m pleased ot review it and to revive and old childhood memory. So with all the exposition out of the way let’s talk Pinky, PInky and the brain brain brain brain christmas edition after the cut. 

This was indeed a special: while it was presumably produced with season one of the show and is packaged with it both on DVD and on Hulu, where I watched it, the special was aired in prime time and even put on it’s own VHS.. which I found out and of course, like with my review of the Darkwing Duck Pilot, had to use as the art for old VHS’ tapes for cartoons.. was really fucking beautiful and it’s a nice break from my traditional screencaps.   So we open with a clever Christmas rendition of the theme, frequently sprinkling in bits of other christmas stuff, utterly fantastic. The intro animation is less impressive as it’s literally just the regular intro but with a stock snow effect over everything. In case you thought Ducktales doing that was a new thing. I do not blame the team however, as apparently they only had a week to get the scripts out, so I highly doubt warner was forking out more cash for the animation than they had to. They still forked out enough to make it LOOK really good mind you, something I wish they’d do more often with their DTV Movies but do do with their animated shows still with certain exceptions so good on them, i’m just saying they clearly cared more about money than having a memorable christmas opening. Given a budget to actually make one, i’m sure the animators would’ve come up with something lovely, and i’m sure the same is true of Ducktales and other shows and like i’ve said, i’m highly in favor of shows actuallly doing unique openings for the holidays, especially since Holiday episodes tend to get reaired every year as long as the show is in circulation on the network. Sometimes even if it isn’t. So it’s fully worth the effort to fork out a little extra for this as while you’ll most likely only use it once, you’ll be using the special for years. You can afford to treat yourself networks come on. It’s...

Just like Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain. But onto the episode itself after 80 years. We find Pinky writing his Christmas list to santa, complete with Narf, a gag I like. As usual for a comedy show, I will try to gloss over as much of the gags as possible, to avoid repetttion but yeah this episode is really damn funny and reminded me just how good these characters are. Maurice and Rob just have perfect chemistry. It’s like Tom and Jerry: It’s a very simple premise, that one being “Cat chases mouse and Mouse beats shit out of mouse”, and pinky and the brain of course being “Super genuis mouse and dimwitted but loveable sidekick try and takeover the world eveyr night”. But a simple premise can be used just about anywhere and adapated for anything. To me a cartoon’s premise only has to be as complicated as it needs to be to work. Sometimes you have a vast complex tapestry behind the world like She Ra, Steven Universe or Avatar with lots of planning and ins and outs and deep character stuff.. and sometimes you just have two mice who get into shenanigans because one is a would be dictator who sounds like orson welles and the other’s a loveable british weirdo/moron. Sometimes simple just works. 

Anyways, Brain, noticing Pinky’s distracted and replaces himself with a horrifying poorly made doll of himself called Noodle Noggin, which is both an excellent name and not the only time they’d use the name either, as there was an animaniacs short about Brain making himself a fad to endear himself to the children of the future with the same name. It’s just an inherently funny set of words, but also shows Brain’s genius in a subtle and clever way as he never spells it out, but despite sounding kind of ridiculous for such a buttoned up intellectual like brain... he knows that’s the kind of name kids will eat up. His schemes may often fail, but he’s an objectively brilliant schemer and i’ts often either PInky’s incompetence or his own miscalculation of humanity, either over or underestimating them, that undoes Brain.  Back to the plot, so Brain’s plan is to distribute noodle noggins around the world, make it the hot new toy, and as always, take over the world. Problem is naturally two Mice simply don’t have the resources to make the billions of dolls. But PInky stumbles upon the solution in the paper: a want ad for elves! Everything about that sentence except “pinky stumbles upon the solution” has not aged paticuarlly well, but point is they have a plan and we have our christmas special.  This does bring me to my one problem with the special.. Brain’s weird inconsistency towards Santa. What I mean is he spends the portion doubting Santa can do anything he’s claimed to despite being proven frequently he can. That part is not all that annoying as it’s in character with him and while yes, he is a talking mouse, he’s also a man of science and reason and Santa is the opposite of that. That would be fine... IF it wasn’t for the fact that said magical bollocks weren’t constantly part of his plans. Despite Brain constantly throughought the special doubting Santa... his plans FREQUENTLY rely on everything we’ve heard about him being right. His initial plan here ENTIRELY runs on the fact Santa has a massive workforce to make the toys yet even if that’s true by Brain’s own logic, he wouldn’t be able to deliver them. Later when the boys need to escape, They hide with the Reindeer despite Brain just saying santa can’t be everywhere in one night.. which if he can’t then the odds are slim he’ll wind up at Acme Labs isn’t it? It would be fine if the special acknowledged any of this outside of one bit we’ll get to, but other than that one bit.. they don’t. IT’s just really frustrating and really sticks out since the rest of the special is perfection, so this one failing bit really grates. That being said, it dosen’t last long enough to really drag the episode down as a whole, just to annoy me a bit every so often. It speaks to the episodes quality that the bad part ONLY drags so much because everything else is so well put together.  So our boys head to the north pole with the help of a kooky pilot and a santa dummy, this pilot is voiced by Tress MacNeile and is easily one of the best parts of the special. And naturally given their luck, she asks them to take the wheel so the plane instead jerks and causes them to fall out. Luckily they end up near Santa’s workshop and soon apply for temp work with local head of things and gruff type Shotzie, played by Jeff Bennett. And yes that is his name.  I like Shotzie: he’s a goateed elf and Bennett just plays him well.. hard to explain honestly I may just like his name and Bennett’s voice for him, one he used before in animanaics for various bit parts and in shows after this, it’s just a voice i’ve always liked. 

They get put to work in the mail room, which is the bit I mentioned: Brain earlier scoffed at Santa answering all the letters with Pinky simply suggesting that Santa had his elves go through all of them. Turns out Pinky was right... while he may be a BIT stupid, one intresting thing i’ve found about Pinky after watching the reboot that ironically the friend who comissioned this and I discussed is that he’s not ENTIRELY stupid, it’s just , much like Dan from Dan Vs his knowledge is just random.. he can not know how a lot of things work, but sometimes like in this instance Pinky generally just GETS something. It’s part of why he and Brain are such a good team despite their failures: Brain is all about planning and thought and research, Pinky is about intuition and gut instinct. He just does things and it often works out. This also makes their recently added backstories all the more brilliant as they explain this well: Pinky started life just being told to find the diffrence in cheeses and thus was taught form childhood to trust in himself and his weird brain. Brain was cruelly torturued with an experiment on learned behaviors via electroshock, and was taught to never give up control again, to always know what’s going on and to always control it. It perfectly sums up who the two are and why they are that way.  Brain however quickly pivots, as the mail room ends up being the perfect location to start his plans. Since their job is to file away what each person wants Brain simply adds Noodle Noggin to it and plans to put his plans into the workshop. While Santa and Schotzie are suprised and baffled, Santa quickly adds it to the list. However things hit a snag when Schotzie gets supscious when the two try to sneak into the blueprint room to drop theirs off and he accidently yanks off their disguises leading to a REALLY fun chase scene, as the boys end up in a toy wherehouse and thus try out various toy cars: a barbie dream car that dosen’t have a working motor, a toy truck that dosen’t go very fast, and finally an rc car that while fast naturally just means Schotzie can grab it and capture them. It’s easily my faviorite scene of the episode just for how clever it is and as someone whow as a kid around the time this came out, I applaud the accuracy.. granted I didn’t have any of those personally but I had lots of friends so yeah. 

So our heroes are interrogated.. and again Brain brilliantly pivots. Schotzie assumes since they have the blueprints their spies for the easter bunny or the tooth fairy or Herschel, the Hanukah Goblin. Why Herschel never got his own Hannukah special trying to stop Pinky and the Brain from using it to take over the world, I genuinely do not know and that’s something the reboot really needs to adress in the future. Seriously Hannukah needs a mascot and it’s either Herschel or the Hannukah Zombie. Kwanza already has Kwanzabot. I want to see more of Herschel the Hannukah Goblin dammit!. I love goblins. Especially this one.

And this one

And most of all this one

I likes goblins. It’s a thing. So anyway, point is Schotize has the blueprints taken in while our boys slip out and sucessfully make their way outside, though they have to find a way home to turn on the mind control device. They see Santa and brain being a dick refuses to let pinky hand in his letter.. but does as mentioned earlier have them pose as reindeer.  So our heroes make their way home and in time to be able to activate the device once santa’s route’s finished!

And.. then land directly on the mind control device thing, meaning they now have to scramble to repair it. Oh and Pinky is inconsolable after realizing Santa didn’t get his letter and Brain is a HUGE dick about it. Easily the worst i’ve seen him just far more focused on his machine than his friend’s wel lbeing especially since ALL he needs from pinky is for him to throw one lousy switch. 

But we then get easily the best part of the entire special. As Brain scrambles to rebuild his device while abusing his best friend we get a really nice tense sequence as Brain rebuilds while kids all over the world warmly receive noodle noggin. I mean.. it’s not the creepiest doll I’ve seen a kid enjoy. 

Also Bill Clinton gets one because the series apparently really likes “Bill Clinton is stupid jokes” Oh you poor innocent dears who haven’t had to suffer through the president being revealed to be a sexual predator, the one after him being even dumber if not a predator, the one after that being easily one of the best people around, and the outgoing one being a waking nightmare whose both a preadator and dumb beyond all comprehension ina dangerous and soul crushing way. 

But yeah onto the good part, Brain, for whatever reason, reads the letter.. and finds Pinky asked for nothing. He just wanted to give Brain the world at long last, recognizing his friend really and genuinely means well for it and that he’s worked hard to conquer it. And with that goal in reach, with the very thing he’s always wanted his... Brain instead uses the device to wish a merry christmas. He sees through his friend’s kindess and selflessness that he himself.. has been selfish once again turning something into a world destroying plot and being cruel to his best friend... when all his best friend wanted was to selflessly make sure he finally got what he wanted. It’s then that Brain, for all his cold and cynical logic and superiority complex, realized the true meaning of christmas, which i’ve said before and i’ll say again: it’s about giving, about giving someone something with your heart and soul just to be nice with no expectation of something in return. It’s about being selfless for once instead of selfish. I’ts about love. And Brain loves his friend too much to destroy his faviorite holiday. For once the world can wait.. and for once they all join in saying merry christmas to one another and in love and camradire. And I know not everyone celebrates christmas, there are other winter holidays and not everyone in the world would willingly do this. I know all that.. but the special has such a well meaning message, I really can’t be mad at that or get into the weeds too much> This isn’t some jackass making an entire movie, of which there have been several, saying “There’s a war on christmas” which instead equates to them just bitching about not everyone celebrating HIS holiday. It’s about a mouse for one moment truly being selfless and putting ihs loyal and faithful friend over his greatest want to give him a nice christmas and to do something nice for the world instead of trying to take it. And that.. that’s really damn heartmelting.  So we end on the two exchanging presents, with it being a little extra heartwarming as Brain likely already got Pinky something meaning even before his big revelation, he really does care beneath all the dope slaps. Pinky got him a keychain of the world and rather than be frustrated like you’d think.. Brain just takes it in stride. It is christmas after all.. the world.. it can wait. For now it’s just the two of them having one moment in time, this merry christmas.  Final Thoughts: If it wasn’t obvious, I loved this freaking special. It’s funny, clever and has one hell of an ending. There isn’t much more to say other than go watch it if you have Hulu.. you will not regret it and a sepcial thanks to Blah for comissioning this. it was an amazing time and is now a competitor for a spot on my best christmas special list. For now though it’s just really good and I say go check it out. Merry christmas, happy holidays and later days. 

#animaniacs #pinky and the brain #warner brothers #pinky #the brain #santa claus #christmas #blahdiddy #christmas specials #reviews #animation #kids wb

[unpopularly-opinionated]

My friend shared with me this reddit thread where someone outlined a list of features they claim are “missing” from CP2077, and because I’m me and like to rant, I wanted to go through it and agree/disagree based on what I think should or shouldn’t be in the game.

So probably spoilers below, at least for gameplay.

- Walk toggle for keyboard.

Agree.

- Key re-mapping for certain elements.

Agree. The game has some rebinding functions, but not enough to be honest.

- Accessibility features missing (ie: text scaling for menus).

Agree.

- In-game benchmark feature.

Personally, I think this is somewhat extraneous and I wouldn’t knock a game for not having it since most games don’t, but sure if they add it I wouldn’t complain.

- Dash should be a separate key and not a double press of walking key.

HARD agree. It’s beyond me that they thought it was okay to have that as-is, honestly. It makes moving around while sneaking a huge pain because you accidentally dodge which puts you into a standing position which can reveal you easily. At the absolute least, they should disable dodging when crouched, but ideally allow it to be rebound to something else.

- Crouch and skip dialogue should not share the same key.

Again, HARD agree. It’s possible to rebind the key (I certainly did) but something I noticed is that, while the dialogue no longer skips when I press crouch, it doesn’t seem to register the crouch button at all while in dialogue, meaning you can’t uncrouch if in dialogue.

- The minimap is too zoomed in to be helpful in many cases.

I only noticed this as an issue while driving, personally. You’ll be going 90mph down the freeway and not know that your turn is coming up until you’re already 90 miles beyond it. Outside of that, I’m not sure why you’d need the minimap zoomed out but hey if it fixes it while driving, I’m for it. Agree.

- Missing a toggle aim feature.

Quality of life, sure. I won’t use it, but agree.

- Ability to respec attributes (Note: Existing item respecs perks only)

Personally, I disagree with this. I think respeccing perks is fine because some of the perks are kinda lame so I can understand wanting to undo that, but I feel like respeccing attributes would sort of negate the purpose of developing a character a certain way. It makes multiple playthroughs more valid, forcing you to develop your different characters different ways. Sooo disagree.

- Ability to disable objective marker.

Agree. Mild nuisance to be sure, but still a nuisance never the less.

- Ability to lower ADS sensitivity.

Quality of life, sure. Agree.

- Add proper ultrawide (21:9, 32:9) support.

Quality of life, sure. Agree.

- Add loot by area or/and autoloot feature.

Eh... I don’t know. I think there should be a “scrap item” button when looting added but I’m unsure about a loot all or autoloot feature. It’s a change that I personally think falls under “optimizing the play out of the game”. Disagree.

- Add “stash all” feature.

And then some. Inventory management is atrocious in this game, it’s actually unreal how they thought it was okay to ship it like that. You can only manage one item at a time, and the UI needs to completely reload each time you do. It’s obscene. Hard agree.

- Add transparency option for HUD elements.

Quality of life, sure. Agree.

- Add way to remove mods from unequipped weapons.

This was actually sort of news to me. I’ve just been scrapping weapons I unequip with the mods still attached, assuming the mods were just going back to my inventory. Evidently that’s not been the case, but I haven’t actually noticed it as an issue because mods are so frequently found. A bit arguable, to be sure, but I don’t see why guns couldn’t return their mods automatically when dismantled. So agree, I guess.

- Add toggle mouse acceleration.

Quality of life, sure. Agree.

- Driving markers and onscreen trajectory (alternative GPS).

I don’t actually know what this means. Does this mean have the line leading to your objective be in-world as opposed to the minimap? I can maybe see that being a thing, I guess. If that’s the case, agree.

- Body slider customization (height, weight, muscle mass).

Eh...I’m ambivalent on this one. It seems extraneous in that it’s unnecessary and just something someone wants rather than something the game strongly needs, but at the same time, with as much marketing that went into how customizable your character is in this game, it’s sort of depressing how poor the character customization really is. Because of that, part of me wants to agree with this, on the grounds that the game was sort of sold to us this way. So I’ll say I tentatively agree.

- Very few options for some of the character creation features (hair colour, tattoos, skin complexion, scars, etc).

See above.

- Animations for eating and drinking (excluding scripted ones).

The problem with adding animations to consumables is that not only would you need one for each type of consumable but that the animation would then need to completely play out each time, which can give players burnout. Going to have to disagree with this one.

- Unable to remove underwear outside of inventory.

I assume this means giving the player the ability to run around stark naked as opposed to in your underwear, and weirdly enough I have to agree. Much like the character customization, a significant amount of attention was paid to the fact that this game has nudity, and yet nothing is done with it. Even in the areas where you’d expect nudity to play a part (I.e. having sex, showering, etc.) it doesn’t, so it begs the question why even implement it?

- Vehicle customization.

This is going to maybe sound odd given my next answer but I kind of agree with this one to an extent. You can buy a fair amount of vehicles in the game, but you can’t customize any of them. At the very least, changing it’s colour and/or design I think is warranted.

- Apartment customization.

This I disagree with, again, to an extent. This isn’t Fallout 4 or the Sims, I don’t think there needs to be a fleshed-out feature to decorate your apartment. I do however think that some changes to it would be nice, even if they’re just preset changes. Like maybe the layout of misc. objects in your apartment changes as time goes on. Shit moves around, I don’t know. Or maybe you can pay for preset additions, like buying a lamp or poster or something that always goes in the same spot, but lets you feel like you live there I guess. Ultimately though, this is completely extra and unnecessary. Disagree.

- Cosmetic slots or transmog feature.

Hard agree. Again, customization of your character was made out to be a big deal, so let us wear the clothes we want to wear. The number of times I’ve had to run out in a skirt that says “Bitch” on it and a bra as a man simply because they’re my best clothes is unreal.

- Very few actual merchant stores in quantity and variety.

Quantity, I somewhat agree. The map could do with a few more of each type of merchant, although the map does sometimes already feel cluttered so perhaps not. Variety however, I disagree. I think there’s plenty variety in terms of merchants, I’m not sure what else you’d need. There’s merchants for guns, clothes, hacks, cyberware, resources, and consumables. What else is there.

- No garages or parking lots.

I assume this is related to owning multiple vehicles which I don’t yet so I’m not sure I understand where this argument is coming from. There is a parking garage at your apartment, so I don’t see why that couldn’t be a garage you can use, but ultimately I can’t weigh in on this without more information.

- Crowds have low level of reactivity and awareness to the game world.

This one bugs me because it’s like how much reactivity do non-interactable NPCs need? They run away from cars and violence. They say “oh shit” lines when you’re driving into them or shooting near them or they see a body, etc. What more do you need? Gonna have to disagree.

- Very few interactive NPCs outside of missions with meaningful dialogue.

See above and literally every open world game ever.

- Very few options to meaningfully construct a personality to V. You get to choose mission endings, but not an actual persona.

I disagree, I think you can pretty comfortably pick a persona for V. I mean it’s not the most advanced system in the world, no, but every game is going to limit your options. You can choose to be an asshole, a scumbag, a nice guy, honest, a liar, competent, incompetent, etc. It all depends on your attributes and what dialogue options you pick really.

- Lack of non-action oriented stories and quests about meaningful themes of cyberpunk dystopia.

This one I sort of agree with, but then again I’m a huge philosophy nerd so I generally can’t get enough philosophy in my games. I want every game to be as deep as Bioshock. I still have a long way to go in CP2077, so perhaps the quests get better, but many of them I’ve not found super interesting. Some have been memorable, sure, but very few, and of those not many are memorable for fitting the Cyberpunk theme explicitly.

- Player cannot smoke.

This one is just funny to me because, yeah in an RPG it’s not ideal to railroad the player, but because of the way the story goes, V doesn’t smoke. All so they can have a few funny lines of dialogue in the story, but w/e I’m okay without smoking.

- Weapon mods and skill trees largely irrelevant outside of marginal and mostly numerical improvements to combat.

I kind of agree with this. To be honest, I don’t even look at any of the stats outside of DPS and I get along just fine. I am playing on normal, so perhaps at a higher difficult these things matter more, but I can’t imagine how much more. So sure, I agree.

- Lack of emergent gameplay events in the game world (ie: dynamic and random triggers).

This falls under “how much is enough”, similar to the bit about the NPC interactions. From what I’ve seen so far, the only in-world ‘events’ that transpire are shootouts between cops and gangs that aren’t marked on your map as predetermined events. Could there be more? Sure, I guess. Does there need to be more? Eh, not really.

- Unable to alter character’s appearance (barbershop, tattoo parlors, plastic surgeon).

Agree. One mission I did, one of the rewards I received was a tattoo which made me think I was going to frequently unlock new customization aspects like that, but it ended up being a piece of cyberware for some odd reason. I think it would be neat if you didn’t have every bit of customization unlocked from the start and could change your appearance as you go unlocking more things.

- Lack of character reflection outside of the few mirrors available. This furthers the disconnection between the player and the character.

This was something I was thinking about genuinely, when standing in front of a mirror. A mirror has to be ‘activated’ in order to start showing your reflection, which I thought was odd, but I assumed it was because of performance issues which makes sense. At one point, even though my PC can’t run the game at ultra graphics, I switched over to it to see if mirrors would reflect all the time but they do not. I don’t however think we need to see our character all the time but more would certainly be better.

- No ownership of items (you can rob NPCs under their nose).

Yeeeeah, this bit I find kinda odd to be honest, especially because the UI for looting items is red which is commonly the colour used to denote “this item is owned and picking it up constitutes as theft”. Part of me thinks that the reason items don’t have ownership though is because of how clunky the stealth system is. There’s no way of knowing if an NPC can ‘see’ you or not. I feel like this is also why when you break a glass bottle or something, it doesn’t alert enemies because that would be so broken in this game because things explode all the time for no reason at all, you’d never be able to steal period. So I feel like no item ownership is because the developers know their game wouldn’t be fun with it.

- No prison or lasting crime system.

The lack of a prison is sort of explained (very briefly) in-game. The prisons are just way too overcrowded, and the police are basically a paramilitary organization who shoot on sight anyways, so there’s really no need for prisons. That said, committing a crime doesn’t have lasting consequences but again I think this is because the game knows that it’s too clunky to punish players for that. Driving is so wonky in this game, imagine if running over an NPC punished you beyond the small threat of police intervention? It would be unbearable.

- Wanted system is largely underdeveloped, with cops spawning out of nowhere and disappearing shortly after.

Yeah it is a little scuffed how cops just appear, that I will agree with.

- Cybernetics lack variety in meaningful choices that alter gameplay (except for limb weapons). Deus Ex has far more impactful mods that actually change the way you approach combat.

While I do sort of agree with there being a lack of variety, I feel the comparison to Deus Ex is a bit unfair. Deus Ex used cybernetics as it’s skill tree/progression system. When you leveled up in Deus Ex, you installed new cybernetics. That’s not the case in CP2077 though. I do however believe that outside of the legs, arms, and hands, not much really changes. I’m not sure what else they could do, but more would certainly be nice.

- The lifepaths are frustratingly brief and have little impact other than dialogue choices. V is essentially the same character regardless of path.

I can’t speak much to this because I haven’t even finished my first playthrough yet, but I will admit that there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot that comes from your lifepath. I’m playing as a Street Kid, and as someone who supposedly grew up on the streets, running with gangs, getting to know everyone, etc., it seems like there should be a bit more maybe. Like maybe Street Kids start with more gang rep because everyone knows who you are because you grew up together. The game tries to explain this away with “you went away for two years and have just recently come back” but right off the bat you meet one of the fixers who you knew and worked for before you left as if you were old friends, and two measly years is not enough for everyone to just forget who you are.

The traffic AI is lackluster and there are too few cars driving around for a large metropolis.

Disagree. There are plenty of cars for a reasonable driving experience. I don’t know if this guy was expecting bumper-to-bumper LA traffic or what, but there are plenty of cars to make the world feel alive and full while not being obnoxious and make driving impossible.

- Trains were obviously cut, even though the whole infrastructure is visible.

I genuinely don’t even know what this is referring to so I won’t comment on it.

- The world interaction is quite minimal. Among items that should be interactive: chairs, benches, toilets, stools, sinks, gym equipment, light fixtures, restaurant menus, smartphones, taxi, trash bins and dumpsters, most merchant stalls, microwaves, dancing floors, gaming tables, arcards.

This is a lot but some of it I agree with. You should be able to sit down on a lot more chairs, but at the same time I kinda understand why you can’t. The world is littered with places to sit, so much so that “Press F to Sit” would be on your screen 99% of the time. Taxis I was actually extremely disappointed were not in the game. The game literally sets up from the beginning that being a passenger in a car is a thing which gives you the impression that it’s a thing that can happen often, and that you’re able to either sit through the car ride or skip it altogether. I thought for sure that fast travel was going to constitute you hailing  cab and it taking you to wherever you’ve marked on your map, with the option to sit through the ride or skip it at-will. It’s actually a huge disappointment that that’s not the case (I even had my friend who is playing as a Corpo test whether Delamaine was specific to Corpos-only but alas, it didn’t work).

- You cannot preview wardrobe and weapon purchases.

I’ve not actually bought any guns or clothes so I can’t comment on this.

- There is no reliable cover system.

This one is odd because there is a cover system, but it’s only a weird hint of one. If you’re crouched by a low wall and you aim your weapon, you will peak around the wall, but it’s very finicky and poor. I think the game could do without one altogether, but the fact that there’s a hint at one already implies it’s intended, so it needs reworking.

- Loot system is overdone, invasive and distracting. You are constantly showered with redundant and marginally better items and have no attachment whatsoever with your fashion and weapon choices. (Dear god, I hate this one).

Hard agree. This seems like somewhat of a repeat to an earlier one about not being able to really customize your character out of necessity to wear whatever is best. Loot is prevalent, but hardly ever relevant.

- Enemies are too spongy and level design forces frontal assault way too often.

This one is interesting because I almost agreed with it until I played the game a bit more. In fact, I might’ve made a post about this before, I can’t recall, where I said that it didn’t feel like stealth was always an option. In many cases, I stand by that statement. The stealth gameplay specifically isn’t always an option, which is frustrating. If you’re like me, and you’re using stealth with quickhacking, then it becomes way more relevant. Being able to breach into a camera network and kill everyone with quickhacks is amazing. However, the game seems to somewhat punish this style of gameplay for some odd reason. I will go through and systematically kill everyone via cameras from outside the building, but the moment I step into the building, more enemies will show up out of nowhere. It’s not just that they’re hiding in areas outside of the cameras view, no they literally spawn into existence the moment you go inside. It’s really jarring, odd, and kind of unfortunate. Oh and as for sponginess...eh, yes and no sometimes. Weirdly my quickhacks sometimes one-shot enemies, and other times it takes like 8 quickhacks to kill one enemy. It’s seemingly random, or a bug, or something. I’m not sure.

- Robotics and drone control largely absent (outside of scripted missions).

Hard agree. I was genuinely shocked to find out I couldn’t control turrets when they started popping up more frequently. Drones I can let pass because they’re mobile and therefor a bit more complex to code properly I guess, but turrets are child’s play to code. They’re literally the same as cameras but with guns. It’s really odd that you aren’t even given a perk that’ll let you control them.

#random rant #cyberpunk 2077 #holy shit this is long #I'm sorry #don't read this if you aren't ready lmao

[fairydust-stuff]

Tape  Banana Ash & Yut Lung fan fiction

Warning this is a hurt comfort fic with implied Non con and Major character death though no more then the actual show. It also has one of the most fluffy dark endings, i've written.

“ Ah Mr Lee what a pleasant surprise,might i ask the reason for this call”

Ash, Eiji, Ibe and Max are huddled around taking advantage of the fact Ash bugged Golzine’s private phone while he was in the manor so now they could hear all of his calls. They heard a couple about Banana Fish but this one was interesting to say the least.

“ You know exactly why I'm calling…..” Yut Lung sounds on the verge of a breakdown. Ash would be lying if he wasn’t enjoying hearing him squirm.

“ I see you received my video then” Golzine says casually.

“ There’s no need for this…. sneakiness between allies” Yut Lung argues.

“ This of it as a lesson an elder educating a youngster on proper respect,” Golzine replies.

“ I apologize if my pursuing Ash without your leave offended you in any way” Yut Lung was all charm.

“ All is forgiven as long as you’ve learned to be a little less arrogant” Golzine promises.

“ I’ll try it appears i have much to learn,” Yut Lung says with forced humbleness.

“ I want complete use of your men, you don’t get involved unless I call for you. Also i want more frequent meetings between us” Golzine demands.

“ Of course and i presume this mishap will go away?” Yut Lung presses

“ Yut Lung you shouldn’t presume anything” there’s a cruel glee in Golzine’s tone.

The group disengages at the dial tone.

“ So Golzine has some kind of black mail material on him now, that’s karma” Max laughs.

Eiji is wearing that cute devilish grin of his.

“ Maybe he got caught embezzling funds from the foundation. Either way it may reveal some weakness we can exploit” Ash says

“Can you hack him?” Ibe asks

Ash smiles darkly “ Oh i can do better” he dials a number on his phone

“ Hello Sing, you wouldn’t happen to know Yut Lung’s password for his private account?”

“ Try Cao Zhi, he’s one of Yut Lung’s favorite poets,” Sing suggested. Ash did, nothing “ Anything else?” he asked

“ Song of Everlasting Sorrow?” Sing said with a shrug

“ Still nothing” Ash responds.

“ Despair and Courage” said Sing after a moment.

“ Bingo, thanks Sing!” Ash said

“ After what he did to my guys, i want to see that shit fall” Sing said.

Ash hangs up taking note of some stuff to check out later he finds the video and clicks on it.

Golzine and what appears to be Yut Lung ranting around his own dining room clearly drunk.

“ That’s the blackmail” Ash feels very disappointed

“ Given how arrogant that guy is it does make sense” Eiji says.

“ Maybe we can get a few laughs out of it” says Max, trying to look on the bright side.

“ Or at least something to annoy him next time he kidnaps me” Eiji brings up.

“ Woah a drunk little cat” one of Dino’s men cackles

“ Not a cat, i’m a snake” Yut Lung hisses at Dino, the group laughs.

“ Do you always consume this much wine?” Golzine asks pleasantly

“ i feel sad a lot” Yut Lung replies “ wine make it better,” he adds with a bitter laugh.

“ Why are you sad?” Golzine asks in a concerned tone

“ I don’t like Eiji, stupid, Eiji” he pouts.

“ Oh” Golzine says.

“ You stare a lot, your old enough to be my grandpa. Dad old enough to be mom’s grandpa” Yut Lung laughs again bitterly.

“ Your mother was young then” Golzine says

“ Where’s Sing?” He asked quietly

“ He abandoned you for Ash” Golzine says with false sympathy.

“ I liked Sing” Yut Lung says “ Why Sing leave me for Ash” he whispers.

“ Ash is better then you”Golzine says patiently then goes on a rant about Ash as his wonderful creation that makes Ash want to break the screen.

“ hate him for it” Yut Lung admits “ i kinda like him” he adds.

“ You like Ash?” Golzine asks

“ He doesn’t like me” Yut Lung says somberly he stumbles and Golzine catches him.

“ Easy there lets sit down” he leads a wobbly Yut Lung to the large sofa.

Where Blanca?” Yut Lung asks him

“ You dismissed him you were angry, he only wanted to help Ash” Golzine says.

“ I want Blanca” Yut Lung tries to leave the parlor and one of Golzine’s goons locks the doors. “ Let me ou….” One of Dino’s men covers his mouth and drags him back to the couch

“ Now, we were having fun. Here you like wine right” Dino pours him another glass. Ash suddenly feels a pit in his stomach suddenly remembering that Yut Lung is younger than him by at least two years. Why the hell did that never occur to him till now.

“ I don’t like you” Yut Lung insists but he takes another glass, his hands shake slightly.

“ So your a pretty liar then” Golzine says, taking one of his hands and rubbing it against his face. Yut Lung yanks it out of his grip.

Golzine looks at him amused “ I prefer you like this, you're usually so cold and aloft ” he says.

“ I wanna go” Yut Lung tries to get up but Golzine pushes him down.

“ Shhhhh” he undoes Yut Lungs hair, the camera zooms in it hits Ash one of Dino’s creeps is filming, this was planned.

“ No brothers dead no more” Yut Lungs tries to shove him off.

“ Your not strong like Ash just a trembling, broken mess” Golzine smiles viciously “ I saw through your little mask from the beginning” he pauses “ I was going to let you keep it, as long as you played nice but you had to be a brat”

“ Here hold the camera” says a cold voice Ash feels a chill run down his spine at the sound of the man from the gay bar. He’s wearing a mask but Ash knows that voice anywhere.

“ Get away from me! H…..” Yut Lung goes ballistic at the sight of him, Dino gags him.

“ Mr Golzine that makes it less fun” The man complains.

“His men are outside as long as he doesn’t call they won’t come.” Golzine says. “ Its the Lee way to only obey direct orders”

“ I’m afraid Mr Lee I'm the reason you're in this predicament, see Mr Golzine wanted to get back at you and as someone who’s observed his allies. I noticed your quite the alcoholic, I prompted him to take advantage of your vice” he purrs, touching the boys cheek. Yut Lung tries to bite him.

“ Incredible so much viciousness in something so delicate and soft to the touch” the man says.

“ He’s nothing compared to Ash Lynx” Golzine scoffs.

“ Still, I will enjoy him, why limit myself to one type of prey?” the man smiles savagely “ And after i’m done with him you’ll be aching for his tight little body”

“ True” Golzine laughs “ I love nothing more than a beautiful boy in distress”

Max slams his hand on the pause button looking furious. This knocks Ash out of horrified stupor enough to close the laptop completely.

No one says a dam word awkward silence fills the room. Ash should have suspected he knew Dino but Yut Lung had always seemed so icy and vicious, un touchable.

“ He’s like you” Cain and Sing had said. Maybe Ash had projected too much of his own unstoppable raging beast onto the other boy. Yut Lung had worn the mask well better then even Ash ever had. Everyone looked at each other waiting for someone to say something.

“ Its all my fault” Eiji gasps “ At the manor the night Shorter died, Dino had me and Yut Lung in his bed he was going to…….but then the phone rang” he tears up “ I was so confused he seemed so calm about it…..i didn’t understand”

“ Eiji its not your fault” Ibe insisted.

“ I didn’t want to understand!” Eiji says quietly.

“ Its mine, I knew he was like me,” Ash confessed. “ That’s why its so easy for me to hate him” the blond confesses.

“ No! It's no one's fault but the bastards who touched you! My god at least fifteen in Golzine’s bed. I don’t even want to think about how young he started doing that” Max exclaimed. Ash calls up Sing again “ Hey did you find anything” the boy asks

“ I want it gone, take your guys break into Golzine’s manor delete, smash every trace of that video” Ash orders.

“ Did that snake capture Eiji again?” Sing sighs.

“ No its just a really bad video Sing, one i would never use against an enemy” Ash insists.

“ That bad huh?” Sing replies. “ Ash did someone hurt Yut Lung?” he asked tightly

“ You sound almost concerned,” Ash says.

“ I know he hurt my guys but i just don’t like the thought of anyone harming him” Sing confessed. Ash flashed back to a drunken Yut Lung asking for Sing.

“ i think several people hurt him” Ash says after a moment

“ I think so too” Sing said sadly. “ I’ll get my guys on it” he added...

Ash cannot distract himself from waiting for the phone call confirming the mission was a success. He practically jumps to answer the phone when it rings “ Confirmed?” He asks quickly.

“ We ran into some trouble. Golzine increased his security since we last broke in, then Blanca showed up. He really saved our asses. Yut Lung sent him to do exactly what we were doing” Sing explained “ That guy is so cool!” the fourteen year old starts rambling about Blanca.

Of course Yut Lung wouldn’t just take his assault lying down like a good boy. He'd act sweet and submissive then use his resources to gain the upper hand. We really are quite similar.

“ Did you get everything?” Ash asks a bit impatiently

“ Yeah do you want the camera?” Sing asks seriously

“ Yes” Ash says after a moment. “ Sing do you know Yut Lung’s number?” he asked

Sing tells him and Ash dials.

“ Blanca is that you?” Yut Lung asks tentatively

“ Its Ash, I have your camera” Ash here’s a sharp exhale on the other end of the line.

“ At least your demands won’t be as heinous as Golzine’s” Yut Lung sounds more calm now. “ Banana fish? Me to leave Eiji alone? Use of my men? Helping you disappear?” he lists

“ A meeting” Ash says

“ Alright makes more sense to do it in person” Yut Lung responds casually. They set a time and a place…

“ Welcome Ash Lynx normally i’d greet you in the parlor but….” Yut Lung trails off.

“ You can't step foot in that room without flashbacks” Ash realizes as he stands in the dining room.

“ Please sit can i get you a drink or would you like to proceed?” Yut Lung asks

Ash hands him the camera Yut Lung gapes at him in silence. “ You’d give up your leverage for nothing” he says quietly.

“ When i was ten i had several of these videos. I’d have given anything for one person not to have put them up” Ash responds.

Yut Lung takes the camera and says “ Well at least this inconvenience is over with?” his tone is light.

“ What happened last night was not an inconvenience, it was rape and its happened to you and i multiple times” Ash states bluntly.

“ Stop ok, it was just something that happens in our world!” Yut Lung insists

“ That doesn’t make it right” Ash argues.

“ It was my fault, I shouldn't have gotten drunk around Papa Dino” Yut Lung says brokenly.

“ I ran away from home and accepted a ride from a stranger. We all make mistakes, sometimes those mistakes are costly. That doesn’t mean the bastards that hurt us aren’t the ones responsible” Ash argues.

“ I think this is the most we’ve said to each other” Yut Lung says thoughtfully.

Ash looks at him “ Want to smash the camera?” he asked

“ Together, for your ten year old self” Yut Lung responds.

“ Together, one, two three!” The two of them hurl the camera as hard as they can at the walls and proceed to stomp on it until the lens cracks and the frame breaks.

Then Ash’s phone rings “ Hello?” he asks

“ You little Lynx retrieving my camera like that” Golzine chuckles.

“ I’m not giving it to you bastard” Ash says calmly putting him on speaker.

“ No no hold on to your leverage just like I taught you. Do you want a piece of the action? I know how you like Asian boys” Dino continues.

“ Hello this is a piece of the action” Yut Lung says in his soft voice then he holds the phone up to the glass which he crushes under his foot.

“ You smashed up my camera you little whore!” Golzine growled

“ Considering your so hungry that you have to tie down young boys to get action. I’d say your the one who cannot go without” Ash taunts.

“ i hope you got something good out of it” Golzine grumbles.

“ I got nothing from it” Ash informs him.

“ But that’s not….”

“ Not what you’d do. You may have raised and fucked him up and i’ll admit some of your terrible teachings rubbed off on him, but Ash is not you. He’ll never be the kind of person who takes advantage of boys like me” Yut Lung said cooly.

Ash looked at him in surprise.

“ Looks like the kitten grew some claws” Golzine laughed “ You weren’t so gutsy last night, though you did make a lot of noise” he taunts.

“ So you molested me, so what? You and half of New York. I had claws long before then. If I didn't have claws I wouldn't have found a way to get through every abuse, you pathetic old perverts threw at me. I simply learned to sharpen the claws, i was born with” Yut Lung said boldly. Ash watched his face change into something darker

“ You have no claws, you're a sad old man chasing a teenage boy. He latched onto because, he was unable to deal with his own morality. You're not Ash’s greatest enemy, creator or father. You're just a pathetic little groupie obsessed with an idol. Since the Ash in your head doesn’t exist, the fact he chose to save me proves it”

“ I’ll kill you!” Golzine roars

“ Your not worthy of killing me” Yut Lung’s voice dripped with disdain, then he casually hung up on Golzine.

“ Did you just?” Ash was stunned

“ You’ve been feeding Dino’s ego this whole time with your campaign against him. I grew up with egoistic people , i’ve learned how their minds work” Yut Lung replied.

“ He still has to die” Ash pointed out.

“ I have an idea” Yut Lung said “ I need you to contact Blanca” he adds…

“ Rather rough Blanca” Yut Lung chides at the sight of a beaten Golzine hanging limply on the wall.

“ I failed to protect you just like i failed Ash” Blanca said remorsefully.

“ You helped me get the tape, you were there when it counted” Yut Lung put a hand on his arm.

“ Jeez Yue could you be more obvious!” Sing rolled his eyes

“ You're one to talk practically drooling in Ash’s wake” Yut Lung responded.

“ Sure you're not projecting?” Sing asks The two of them bicker until they're interrupted by Golzine’s groan.

“ Heeello!” Ash waves in a sarcastic cutesy way.

“ Ah so the creation destroys its creator and takes his place to build a great legacy” Golzine gloats.

“ Hi you piece of shit i’m Sing soo Ling” Sing says smacking his fists together

“ Doesn’t ring a bell” he said.

“ Shorter Wong was my cousin,” Sing said.

“ You mean that stupid street punk with the mowhawk” Golzine tastes his own blood. Sing gears up for another punch.

Yut Lung pulls Ash toward the door “ Come on Ash lets go get some ice cream” the blond looks at him as if he’s crazy but see’s the younger give him a trust me look. Then starts to follow him out.

“ What are you doing Ash? Your going to end me right?” Ash almost turns his head in Golzine's direction.

“ Keep walking” Yut Lung mutters Ash obeys him.

“ Ash isn’t going to be killing you, i am” Sing says, punching him again.

“ What i’m the great King Pin of New york, that’s all i get ended by some punk?” Golzine asks “ Ash, Ash?”

Ash continues to follow Yut Lung toward the door “ i overpowered you, i beat you down, i made you!” Golzine yells “ where are you going, you drunken slut?” he demands.

Yut Lung continues to lead Ash out “ You're not even going to watch, i’m your greatest enemy and you don’t even want to watch my demise?” Golzine asks

Yut Lung pauses“ Ash, i just remembered i have a hair appointment, we can do ice cream afterwards right?” he asked

“ Of course Yut Lung” Ash says then opens the door. “ Hair appointments, ice cream Ash Ash Ash Ash!” the blond slams the door shut.

“ I cann’t believe that worked” Ash says as a gunshot echoes from the other side of the door.

“ I told you, people with big ego’s hate being ignored” Yut Lung collapses against the door with relief, his face tight with tension, his body shaking.

“ You were really bothered by seeing him huh” Ash says.

“ I can still feel him all over” Yut Lung says “ I can even taste him” there’s a look of broken revulsion on his face. “ I couldn’t let him win through,” the younger boy insists.

“ You did good” Ash informs him.

“ He won’t be the last, there're so many bastards in our world and i’m trapped here with them. I tried to become like you, fierce, ruthless to never look back or hesitate. No matter what i still end up helpless at the mercy of some bigger beast” Yut Lung confesses.

“ Is that why you want me to kill you?” Ash asked him

“ You have a chance at freedom, that's why I hate you!” Yut Lung confesses tears drip down his cheek. “ You have the power to live freely, no matter what. My blood is always going to tie me to this Family. The only way i’m leaving this life is in a box”

Ash turns to him “ You can be the youngest mafia boss to retire in history. In exchange you stop tormenting Eiji and everyone” the blond stresses.

“ But how would i live? As much as i hate it, i’m codependent on my family’s wealth” Yut Lung admits.

" Leave that to me" Ash promises...

" i cann't believe i'm taking Yut Lung Lee to Japan?" Eiji sighs

" He'll blend in better then i would" Ash points out. " Lots of Chinese people live in Japan its not that unsual"

" He hates me and i'm not exactly fond of him either" Eiji points out.

" Too bad because i was thinking of adopting him" Ash says

Eiji stares at him in horror " don't even joke about that" he shutters.

" You get to boss him around big brother Eiji" Ash says.

" Since when did i agree to that?" Yut Lung scowls clutching his luggage a very small portion of the things he owned. He'd have to get used to the simple life, Eiji told him cheerfully.

" You go to Japan your under Eiji's care, so you have to obey him and Ibe" Ash says.

" What if they do something stupid like make friends with the Yakuza?" Yut Lung asks

" If that happens you are in change until i get there" Ash agrees after a long pause.

" Thank you Ash, for everything" Yut Lung tells him sincerely before stepping onto the train that will take them to the air port.

" I have to sort out some things here, then i'll join you two" Ash promises. He stands there and waves good bye to both of them.

" Don't be too long, i may start experimenting with putting certain herbs in Eiji Chan's tea" Yut Lung yells out the window!

" i heard that you little shit!" Eiji yells back

Ash laughs then turns and walks back to his concrete playground his phone rings " Hey honey just finishing up skinning a Foxx" the man says cheerfully.

 " Good " Ash hisses.

 " Need anything else while i'm in town?" Blanca asked him

 " i need your help with persuading a certain Chinese crime organization to let the head of the Lee family retire early, without a bullet to the head, got any ideas?" Ash asks him

#Banana Fish #fanfiction #Yut Lung & Ash Lynx #implied noncon #Ash and Yut Lung team up #standing up to papa Dino #protective Blanca #very protective angry Sing #Foxx gets what's coming to him as well

[goliath-de-senfina-sango]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Danny Phantom Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dash Baxter/Danny Fenton, Jack Fenton/Maddie Fenton Characters: Dash Baxter, Wesley Weston, OC - Character, Danny Fenton, Tucker Foley, Sam Manson, Ghost Writer (Danny Phantom), Andrew Riter Additional Tags: Soulmates, Reluctant Soulmates, countless headcanons, Not Phantom Planet Compliant, my canon now, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Identity Reveal, will tag with progress, No Betas we die like fools Summary:

Casper High is a school that has several clubs, including the Occult Club, which Dash should've stayed very far away from no matter what Wes said. Now thanks to the conspiracy theorist, Phantom was pissed at him and the jock and hero were soulbound by a spell that Wes had fudged and Dash had mispronounced. How's he gonna make it up to his hero?

Or

The soulmates fic that only my best bro really wanted out of me, which my brain was forced to provide.

Ao3 / Fanfiction.net

In hindsight, Dash should've stayed away from the occult club altogether.  Sure, Wes had said they were gonna use some magick ritual they'd figured out to summon phantom, but people generally wanted to think they could do that and a club at school was the least likely to succeed.   But Weston had been confident and Dash wasn't gonna pass on an opportunity to meet his hero without an attack happening.

So he'd gone along with it, even demanded to be the one to do it when they started.  There was a chalk circle on the floor, candles, and one of em had a fuckin needle to prick themself with for it.  Whatever, Dash wasn't unused to a little pain - he busted his knuckles on nerd's faces sometimes. So he got a drop on the circle, and he said the chant, and the candles turned green instead of reddish-yellow.  But while the room went dark and cold and started looking like the night sky had come down to grab them, Dash may have fucked up a word in the book.  

There he appeared, in a flash of light so bright Dash had to squint.  Sky blue skin, a halo of white hair, freckles that glowed green and that ghost hunting hazmat suit of his.  While Phantom was looking around like he was dizzy, Dash felt something. He Saw it, even, a line of bright silver that came out of his chest and turned toxic green before ending at the DP on Phantom's chest.  Frowning, Dash looked over at the head of the club. "The fuck is this? A cord?"

"Oh no… oh no no no."  The head nerd, a brunette with glasses and a mint green shirt, grabbed the book in Dash's hand and read what he'd said.  Then his head whipped over to Wes and the basketballer backed up, his camera flashing the recording light. "You fucked up the summoning ritual!"

"Austin, I swear I was just-"

"This is a binding ritual, Wes, it binds the spirit to the target object - the circle, it looks like?"

"Pretty shitty binding," Phantom said, turning everyone's attention back to him.  The blue-faced ghost was floating all around the room, soft green inner light casting weird shadows everywhere.   "I'm nowhere near it. What is this thing between me and Dash though?"

"… Fuck."  Wes quickly played back his recording on his camera to listen to what Dash had chanted.  Dash could hear the moment he fumbled the words and Wes paled when he heard it. "That was the wrong subject word-"

"So you've bound Phantom's soul to Dash's soul now, is what I'm translating here.   Cause that, wait lemme.” Austin grabbed the camera and replayed the video a few times while Dash dealt with a sea of complicated emotions.  Confusion, shock, anger, resentment, anxiety. Those last three weren’t new per se but they felt… off. Not his. “Wes this is a permanent binding what the fuck?!”

“It wouldn’t’ve been permanent!  We coulda scuffed the circle and the thing he’s bound to would be gone!”

Phantom reached down and grabbed the ginger by his shirt, lifting him two feet off the ground.   His eyes were blue and gold and red, that dim green aura was now white and yellow and flaring up in arcs.  “So lemme get this straight, Wesley. In your insane attempts to prove me as the still-living son of ghost hunters, you decided you'd bind me to a chalk circle.  Which might bind me to the chalk itself, tearing me apart to keep myself connected to since you're a fucking hack."

"I-I-I hadn't uh thought of that, b-"

"And instead of that you let Dash, a jo- no THE Jock, read off the spell and so now you've bound me, irreversibly, to another person's soul.  Did I get that right?"

Wes nodded the slightest bit, his entire frame shaking and Dash couldn't blame him.   Dash was entirely up for pummeling Wes for fucking up his hairbrained scheme, but Phantom looked like he was about to rip Wes apart.  He had fangs and his hair was turning into a cloud of fire that sucked all the heat out of the room instead of pushing it out into everything.  Wes' shirt was frosting over and Austin and his band of merry freaks were shivering.

"When you get to the afterlife, Wes, I promise you a world of pain.  And if you do something so fucking stupid and dangerous that it risks my safety and the safety of everyone else around you again, I'm tossing you to the police by your Fucking underwear!"  Wes was dropped on his ass and Phantom growled, fading from sight. There was a Pop, all the pressure in the room shifting, and Dash rubbed his head with a groan.

"Wes you fucking idiot!  Now Phantom is pissed at me and it's your fault!"  Phantom may have decided not to give Wes what he had coming to him, Dash didn't have superpowers to worry about getting out of hand.

And so Dash had detention that day for wailing on a fellow school athlete.

“I swear I’m going to shatter his camera into a million tiny pieces and make him eat them,”  Danny growled and struggled with not breaking his locker when he slammed it shut. The lights overhead buzzed louder and shone brighter from the energy pouring out of him, and Danny took several deep breaths.  “Not only was what he wanted to do stupid and dangerous, now I’m fucking - what, Soulmates? With him?”

“Chill, Danny, I’m sure we can fix this.”  Tucker pulled his sash from around his shirt and with a flick, it became a scepter once more.  Holding out the golden rod over Danny, a look of concentration passed over the geek’s face while azure light bathed Danny’s body.  The green thread leading off toward Dash was highlighted, though the silver threads leading to Tucker, Sam and Jazz were also visible and even the blue ones trailing off to his Mom and Dad.  Tucker’s magick wrapped around his green thread and for a moment, Danny was sure that it’d be cut and all of this would be over and dealt with.

Tucker’s scepter was knocked out of his hand and clattered loudly on the tile floor of the school and the green thread shone brighter than before, seeming to have simply soaked up the magick.  Danny’s growl was deep in his chest this time, and one of the lights blew a fuse. “That’s fucking ridiculous! He just read off the spell without even knowing what it did, why would that be stronger than the Pharoah’s command?”

“The language might not be from this world, Danny.  We’ll have to ask Andrew if he knows how to undo it.”  Sam patted Danny on his shoulder and he leaned onto her, embracing the calm of her aura.  The bell rang and Danny pulled his hood over his head, pulling it shut over his face with the drawstrings.  “C’ mon, let’s get you home and we can head over to see him right now.”

Danny grumbled as he was pulled along by Sam and Tucker outside to the parking lot, where all three of them pulled out their hoverboards.  Danny mounted his star and nebulae covered creation and slipped on his helmet. The one he’d made for Tucker was gold and chrome-colored, a techno styled F on the bottom of it, while Sam’s was black with creeping vines appearing to weave all around it.  It had been fun building these boards with Tucker and personalizing them since they made flying to school easier on them all. Magnetic boots locked in place, Danny slipped on the remote control glove and took off, followed closely by his friends into the even sky to the envious stares of their schoolmates.

The only ghosts that got in their way home were Skulker and the Box Ghost, and while Boxy was easy to take down with a few well-placed shots, Danny had to split off a Phantom copy while still in human form to take down Skulker, which sucked because he didn’t have the energy to make one as strong as he normally was in ghost form.  With a kick to Skulker’s head that removed his helmet, and a swift click of the button on the Thermos, Skulker was dealt with and they headed to Fenton works.

Descending the stairs of the Fenton home to the basement lab and finding it empty was a blessing, mostly available due to Sam and her meddling in the business affairs of Fenton Works.  Getting to the Ghost Writer’s library from there was a cakewalk, and soon they were knocking on his doors.

“Andy, I have a problem and I need your help fixing it!”  Getting no reply for a moment, Danny took a deep superfluous breath and whined loudly against the door.  “Aaandyyyyy!” The door opened inward fast enough that Danny hit the floor, and grumbled something rude about Vidya playing cruel pranks on him.

“Don’t pretend that Vidya doesn’t love you about as much as she does me, Danny, you’ll never get away with a lie that flimsy.”  The baritone laughter of the Ghost Writer, otherwise known to a few as Andrew Riter, met Danny’s ears and a shark-toothed smile greeted Sam and Tucker.  The librarian in grey and purple invited them deeper in to sit on couches and cushions scattered about the shelves of the library and cups of coffee and tea set themselves down on the table before them.  “Alright, what trouble have you gotten yourselves into this time?”

“This time it wasn’t one of us, actually.”  Sam nudged Danny with her boot and he slumped against Tucker, taking a long sip of his tea.  “An idiot, Wes, tried to bind him to a circle during an event that the Occult Club was performing to summon Danny, but they let Dash Baxter read it and when Danny appeared, apparently Dash stuttered the wrong words and now he and Danny are bound by the soul.  As far as we know.”

Andrew adjusted his glasses, eyes narrowed at Danny as a trio of books flew to him and Danny repeated the spell for Andrew to decipher.  “Give me a couple of days to look this one up. Artificially created Soul Bonds like that typically break with the right spell and if both parties agree to sever the link.”  Tucker groaned while Danny buried his face in his hands.

“I have to convince Dash to unlink himself with me?  Wonderful. Fuck me, I guess.”

Tucker patted the ghost boy on his shoulder and Danny whined.

Ao3 / Fanfiction.net

#Danny Phantom #Dash Baxter #wes weston #Who the heck is wes #Danny Fenton #Tucker Foley #Sam Manson #Andrew Riter #Ghost writer #The Ghoswriter #Swagger Bishie #Teddy Ghost #dash/Danny #Fanfiction #Soulmates #Phanfiction #Fanfic #Phanfic #Fanphiction #Phanphiction #FanPhic #PhanPhic #Rexy Writes

[overheadgames4-blog]

ePic Character Generator

Short intro: ePic Character Generator lets you create realistic character images you can use as assets for your games, illustrations for your stories, or avatars for your role-playing sessions. Long intro: ePic Character Generator is an excellent tool for anyone who wants to create realistic character avatars in no time. You can simply choose what items to display on your character, save as an image on a preset or transparent background and use it for anything you would like to. You don't have to worry about lighting or finding the right camera angles, as everything has been prerendered and post worked for you, so creating characters is really just a matter of clicking some buttons! Users & target audience: The software is mainly used by role-players and game developers to illustrate their player and non-player characters, but don't have the resources to create or buy many unique characters that fit their needs. The option to save the images as tokens and cards simultaneously even reduces the work needed to use the pictures in a session moments after they've been created. The characters can be saved and loaded using a custom file format, which enables an easy way to manage character progression, as changing little details are quick and convenient.

Available character types: The software is designed to satisfy various needs when it comes to realistic character creation. The available packages are divided into seasons. The software launched with Season #1 and later expanded the selection of characters in this domain in the first year. Human, Elf, Dwarf, Anthro Cat and Ork characters are available in Season #1, both in Modern and Fantasy settings. With Season #2, the focus was shifted to provide mixable characters to be able to extend the variance of characters even further. To do this, a single base shape was created for each character type and various wardrobe options were added to each of them. Using the available packages Drow, Elf, Fae, Sorcerer, Archer, Warrior, Barbarian, Adventurer, Pirate, Supernatural, Superhero, Sci-fi, Post-apocalyptic and Modern-day characters can be easily created. To allow unlimited customization, each of the differently themed packages can be combined on a single character to create unique avatars. In Season #3, different art styles and themes can be found, created in collaboration with external artists. By using the Portrait packs hand-drawn styled characters can be easily created. The Comic Monster pack focuses on capturing the essence of creating beast characters which could be featured in any kind of comics, while the Throne Lady packs takes the art into a much darker and more deep style to make users looking for these kinds of pleasures also satisfied.character generator

Feature overview: The software comes readily available either on a Windows or Android device. One can start designing their characters on a desktop machine, and later continue editing it on a phone while on the go. To allow this the software uses the same backend server for all versions, which means that anyone can access their collection regardless of what platform they are using. A custom file format was developed which can be used to Save characters and later Load them back to continue editing. This way the software can be used even for longer role-playing sessions, where representing character progression is necessary. The characters can be exported as PNG images with or without a background for easy usage, but exporting to layered PSD images is also supported. This way, each layer can be post-worked separately, to create a truly unique look or feel to any of the items. For those, who can’t decide where to start editing, a handy Random button was developed. By a press of a button, a character with random items and properties will be generated, and then can be used to continue editing instead of starting from scratch. Having a wide range of options for the characters is a good start, but being able to further customize them to give them a personal touch and create truly unique avatars are essential. Using the Coloring tool most of the items can be further colored to divert from the default look and get the perfect match. Even specific RGB codes can be entered to get the perfect shade for the items or use the recently used options to quickly change multiple layers to the same color. Similarly, to coloring, some layers can be moved around, like companions and background items. Even the character can be moved, so it can easily be placed at different positions in the scene. There’s even a nifty Undo button to revert the last few steps and the characters can also be Reset by a click of a button to start from scratch again. There are tons of beautifully rendered backgrounds to choose from, but exporting on a transparent background is also supported. This way, even multiple characters can be composed on a single scene, or any details can be changed in post-work. Supported worlds: Thanks to the wide range of characters already available in an ever-growing library of good quality packs most of the popular tabletop role-playing games can be represented by characters created by ePic Character Generator, such as Dungeons and Dragons, Pathfinder, Blades in the Dark, Warhammer or other Superhero games. When it comes down to representing avatars in a game, anyone can rely on ePic Character Generator to get the job done. There’s also an active community in the Forums where the developers are always looking to get feedback and suggestions on what to add to their coming packs!

Commercial license is included: The generated images can be used in commercial products as well. There are various card games, board games, and books on the market illustrated with the images created by ePic Character Generator.

#character generator

[overheadgames-blog]

ePic Character Generator

Short intro:

ePic Character Generator lets you create realistic character images you can use as assets for your games, illustrations for your stories, or avatars for your role-playing sessions.

 Long intro:

ePic Character Generator is an excellent tool for anyone who wants to create realistic character avatars in no time. You can simply choose what items to display on your character, save as an image on a preset or transparent background and use it for anything you would like to. You don't have to worry about lighting or finding the right camera angles, as everything has been prerendered and post worked for you, so creating characters is really just a matter of clicking some buttons!

Users & target audience:

The software is mainly used by role-players and game developers to illustrate their player and non-player characters, but don't have the resources to create or buy many unique characters that fit their needs. The option to save the images as tokens and cards simultaneously even reduces the work needed to use the pictures in a session moments after they've been created. The characters can be saved and loaded using a custom file format, which enables an easy way to manage character progression, as changing little details are quick and convenient.

 Available character types:

The software is designed to satisfy various needs when it comes to realistic character creation. The available packages are divided into seasons.

The software launched with Season #1 and later expanded the selection of characters in this domain in the first year. Human, Elf, Dwarf, Anthro Cat and Ork characters are available in Season #1, both in Modern and Fantasy settings.CLICK HERE

With Season #2, the focus was shifted to provide mixable characters to be able to extend the variance of characters even further. To do this, a single base shape was created for each character type and various wardrobe options were added to each of them. Using the available packages Drow, Elf, Fae, Sorcerer, Archer, Warrior, Barbarian, Adventurer, Pirate, Supernatural, Superhero, Sci-fi, Post-apocalyptic and Modern-day characters can be easily created. To allow unlimited customization, each of the differently themed packages can be combined on a single character to create unique avatars.

In Season #3, different art styles and themes can be found, created in collaboration with external artists. By using the Portrait packs hand-drawn styled characters can be easily created. The Comic Monster pack focuses on capturing the essence of creating beast characters which could be featured in any kind of comics, while the Throne Lady packs takes the art into a much darker and more deep style to make users looking for these kinds of pleasures also satisfied.

 Feature overview:

The software comes readily available either on a Windows or Android device. One can start designing their characters on a desktop machine, and later continue editing it on a phone while on the go. To allow this the software uses the same backend server for all versions, which means that anyone can access their collection regardless of what platform they are using.

A custom file format was developed which can be used to Save characters and later Load them back to continue editing. This way the software can be used even for longer role-playing sessions, where representing character progression is necessary.

For those, who can’t decide where to start editing, a handy Random button was developed. By a press of a button, a character with random items and properties will be generated, and then can be used to continue editing instead of starting from scratch.

Having a wide range of options for the characters is a good start, but being able to further customize them to give them a personal touch and create truly unique avatars are essential. Using the Coloring tool most of the items can be further colored to divert from the default look and get the perfect match. Even specific RGB codes can be entered to get the perfect shade for the items or use the recently used options to quickly change multiple layers to the same color.

Similarly, to coloring, some layers can be moved around, like companions and background items. Even the character can be moved, so it can easily be placed at different positions in the scene.

There’s even a nifty Undo button to revert the last few steps and the characters can also be Reset by a click of a button to start from scratch again.

There are tons of beautifully rendered backgrounds to choose from, but exporting on a transparent background is also supported. This way, even multiple characters can be composed on a single scene, or any details can be changed in post-work.

 Supported worlds:

Thanks to the wide range of characters already available in an ever-growing library of good quality packs most of the popular tabletop role-playing games can be represented by characters created by ePic Character Generator, such as Dungeons and Dragons, Pathfinder, Blades in the Dark, Warhammer or other Superhero games. When it comes down to representing avatars in a game, anyone can rely on ePic Character Generator to get the job done. There’s also an active community in the Forums where the developers are always looking to get feedback and suggestions on what to add to their coming packs!

 Commercial license is included:

The generated images can be used in commercial products as well. There are various card games, board games, and books on the market illustrated with the images created by ePic Character Generator.

#avatar creator

[lorirwritesfanfic]

Projections - Part 2

Author's note: Proceed with caution with this part. Read the warning. [Original characters are owned by Pixelberry studios and some of the others are creations of the author.] Book: The Royal Romance Pairing: Liam x MC (Jade) Rating: M Word count: 1742 Summary: Jade reveals the real reason why she doesn't approve Hana and Leo's relationship Based on the music prompt: I Am

Warning: This piece contains psychological issues (eating disorders, manipulation, psychological abuse, drug abuse) which may be disturbing/offensive for some readers. Reader discretion is advised.

Liam opened the door to Jade's room and got in, carrying her in his arms. He was well aware of how much she drank that night and how sadness was capable of draining her energy. He carefully put her down, helped her take off her clothes and as she sat on the bed, he removed her shoes and jewelry.

She barely said a word. Tiredness and inebriation were enough to keep her quiet, but she was mostly sad and regretful. There was nothing she could say at the moment that would undo the fight with Hana and it was killing her.

Liam went to her closet and picked up a nightie. Returning to her the room, he helped put on the tiny cotton black dress after she finished brushing her hair. "I assume you need to remove your makeup before sleeping."

"Yeah, I do, but I don't want you to look."

"Why not?"

"Because it gets messy once I take the false lashes and start to remove the mascara."

"And?"

"It's not pretty. You can't look at me while I'm removing my makeup," she nagged.

"I've seen you without makeup several times. You're beautiful," he smiled.

"This is not up for discussion."

He chuckled as she stood up and sat by her vanity dresser, then picked up a bottle of micellar water and a few cotton pads. "Turn around."

"I just undressed you, I helped you putting on your sleepwear and this is the moment you ask me to turn around?" He asked.

Jade folded her arms.

"Fine," he turned away smirking and picked up two anti-inflammatory pills and a glass of water for her when he caught her pulling out her eyelashes. "Dear god, what is that?!?"

"I said don't look!" She yelled throwing a cotton pad at him.

He laughed. "I'm kidding," he stood behind her leaving the pills and the water on the dresser. "It's just makeup. I don't mind."

"Really?" She asked looking at him from the mirror, using one last cotton pad damp with the makeup remover.

"Yes," he bent over, kissed her shoulder. He took off his jacket and tie, placed them on her end table, took off his shoes and sat on the bed.

Jade finished cleaning and moisturizing her face, took the pills and joined him in bed, cuddling with her fiance.

"How are you feeling now?" His hand ran through her hair as she played with the buttons of his shirt absentmindedly.

"Terrible. My head hurts, I'm tired, my best friend hates me."

"Hana doesn't hate you."

"She clearly doesn't want to talk to me. Maybe it's for the best that we're going to Puerto De Las Rosas for a week," Jade shrugged.

"Hmm..."

"What?"

"I had the impression you didn't want to go."

"I didn't. But you were right when you said I should visit my family before the wedding. It is the right thing to do if I want them here with me, supporting us. I'm just anxious and I don't want to mess it up."

"It's completely normal to feel this way, though I don't see any mess happening. Your grandmother loves you the same way she did the last time you saw her and she's the toughest one to please." Liam grimaced feigning apprehension.

Jade grinned. "She wasn't so bad last time I saw her. Abuela was really cool, actually."

"Easy for you to say. Try to be the one who almost started an international incident for falling in love with her beloved granddaughter, putting her in danger and sleeping with her, even though the laws of Cornodia and Calenvia forbid me to do so."

"You're joking, right?"

"I wish. As the monarch of Cordonia, I can bend some of these rules, since this is more of a tradition than a rule here, but your family didn't exactly give us their blessing."

"Didn't she give us her blessing when you talked in New York?"

"Queen Sofia said I only asked for her granddaughter's hand, but I shouldn't have assumed I could take such liberties with a member of the Calenvian Royal family before the wedding."

She laughed.

"How supportive of you, my love. Thank you," he scolded her, pretending to be mad.

"Sorry," Jade smiled sheepishly.

"It's fine. You're worth the risk."

"Aww..." she gave him a quick kiss smiling. "Thank you for making me laugh, taking care of me and being so patient, even when I snap at you because of your brother."

"It's not a problem. But you can thank me by telling me why are you so against Leo and Hana going out."

"I don't know," Jade picked at an invisible cuticle. "You'll think it's stupid."

"If it made you cry, I don't think it is," he said brushing a thumb on her cheekbone.

"Okay," she snuggled up against him, holding him tighter. "I had an ex-boyfriend who was a lot like Leo: older, easy going, always charmed his way out of trouble, had all the girls at his feet. He was the older brother of a friend and I had a crush on him for years, but he never looked at me. Then one day when I was seventeen, I was working on a project with my friend at her house and he returned to New York for his parents anniversary. He saw me in his sister's bedroom and he flirted with me. He kissed and said I had to keep it a secret because it was more fun."

"Of course he said that. He was taking advantage of a minor," Liam's jaw clenched.

"I didn't know better, I did everything he asked me to do. Sometimes he convinced me to do things I didn't I wanted to and he'd say I did it because I wanted. I felt so guilty I started to eat too much and barf again. I wanted to talk to somebody, but I thought no one would believe me. His sister didn't and she stopped talking to me. And he knew everyone I knew, everybody loved him. Well, except Jules and I didn't know why."

"Because she and her father were already onto him," Liam added.

"Yeah... In the beginning, I thought she was just jealous or something, so he told me to stop talking to her and I did." Her lips began to quiver. "I was always away from home and my mom was alone all time. When she died, he said it was my fault so many times I started to believe it. He had this power over me and I didn't know how to fight it."

"Jay, you were a teenager. How could you have fought an older man on your own?" He kissed her forehead as she curled up against, tugging his shirt to hold him closer and started sobbing again.

"I— I could've—" 

"Hey, look at me." He lifted up her chin. "It wasn't your fault. Your mother had depression and you did the best you could, all things considered. This guy, whoever he is, he manipulated you and he should be in jail."

Jade simply frowned, biting her lip. "I don't know what happened to him. A few months after my mom died, I was at a party with him and then he was gone. Juliet told me the police showed up and Juliet's dad picked me up at the hospital because I passed out that night. I went to rehab right after and never heard about him again. About a month later, Jules paid me a visit and asked me to live with her family in Long Island for a while. We became roommates since then."

"Now I understand why she was so protective of you when I first met her."

"She hides her feelings pretty well, but I know she always got worried when I had a date with someone she didn't know."

"With good reason," he replied, caressing her shoulder.

"I know I'm probably projecting my fears on their relationship and not all guys are jerks trying to take advantage of inexperienced girls, but I can't help it. Hana is like a little sister to me and the thought of her going through what I did—" Jade trailed off, her face hardened as her eyes welled up again. "I can't let this happen to her."

Liam cupped her face in his hands and wiped her tears with his thumbs. "I understand, Jay. But there's something you should know about Leo. My brother taught a lot of things, but one of the most important lessons I had was about consent. I know my brother well and he wouldn't force Hana to do anything."

Jade looked down at her hands, considering his words. "I think Hana said that at some point. You know, among all the yelling...” 

Liam shook his head.

“I think I also need to not underestimate her. She's getting bolder."

"I agree. She has a loyal friend who taught her how to stand up for herself." He smiled at her. "And if he hurts her in any way, I can always tell Bastien to torture him."

“Really?”

He nodded. 

"Can I watch?"

"No."

She brushed her feet on his and gave him a pleading look.

"Don't even try it. I'm not falling for that."

Jade pouted, making him chuckle.

"Thank you for telling me all this, Jade. I can see it wasn't for you to talk about it and I'm elated to know you trust me."

"I trust you with my life, Li."

"I could say the same about you." he smiled, tightening the embrace as their lips met in a sweet kiss.

As they pulled away, Liam stifled a yawn.

"Oh... I didn’t realize it was so late," Jade said looking at her phone. "We have to be up in a few hours."

"It's okay. We can sleep in the jet. There's a room newly decorated in it just for us, you know?"

"Mmm... Good to know," she smiled as he sat up to pick up his shoes and jacket to leave. “Liam?”

“Yes?”

“I know I'm risking another international incident, but can you stay with me here? We don’t have to do anything," she said, chewing on a nail.

He chuckled. "Of course, my love."

Liam got out of the bed to remove his shirt and pants and crawled back under the comforter. Wrapping his arms around her, he nuzzled her shoulder, savoring the warmth of her body until both of them fell asleep.

#choices fanfiction #the royal romance #the royal romance fanfiction #trr fanfic #king liam #duchess jade bourbon #liam x mc #liam x jade #reader discretion is advised #lorirwritesfanfiction #lorircreates #tw eating disorders #tw psychological abuse #tw drug abuse

[funkymeihem-fiction]

My Lovely Assistant- Chapter 4 (Junkenstein Meihem)

Junkenstein sat with Mei’s body propped up against him, his tongue stuck out in concentration as he ran a hairbrush through her locks, carefully bundling it with one hand before snapping the circlet back around her new pigtails. “There we go! You look good, darl, I think I’m getting better at this. No more tangles for you, eh?” He eased her stiff form back down into his bed, tucking the quilt around her chin before pausing. “Oh! Looks like you’ve uh…s’popped open again; here, lemme get that for you.” One of the jiangshi’s eyes had half opened, staring blank and white as the doctor leaned across to lick his broad thumb and very carefully push her eyelid back closed. “There! Pretty as a picture! I’m just…I’m just gonna be over there if you need me.” His own eyes felt droopy and tired, and the bags under them had turned almost black with exhaustion. He had shut himself into his personal quarters days ago, with piles upon piles of books and papers. He hadn’t been eating or drinking, hadn’t been sleeping, and definitely had not been bathing. Even he had to admit that he was beginning to stink a bit, spending all his time hunched over his notes of translated Chinese characters, useless taosims, charms, and manuscripts as he tried to understand everything he had on hand about the jiangshi. Everything had to be cross-referenced and then corrected, filling in the bits that were lost in translation, piecing together what he could…but he’d always been good at piecing things together. “Don’t worry about a thing, love, we’re almost there. You’re going to be right as rain. Here, you got lots of room if you need it; you got the bed all to yourself again, wouldn’t want to suggest anything improper while you’re asleep. Don’t you fret, I’m going to keep working and make it all better. Don’t let anyone say that Dr. Junkenstein ever gives up on a project.” He gently patted her head before moving back to his desk, slumping down into the chair and taking up his pen. The words and symbols all over the papers were starting to blend and blur together, an incomprehensible mess of ink and parchment as he tried to focus. Sure he was feeling a bit tired and all, but he had to keep at it. His genius was the only one who could fix her, after all. He still blearily remembered falling to his knees with the jiangshi in both arms, pleading with the Witch to bring her back. But the Witch had turned him away time and time again. Mei was his servant, not hers. She owed the Witch no debt and had never been bound to her will, not like Junkenstein or the Reaper. Mei was not one of hers, and no matter what the good doctor had tried, the jiangshi’s life could not be bartered for. He had asked for the Summoner, and received a curt reply that the ancient Dragon’s power had no way to revive a creature that had already felt the ice of death. He had even asked for the advice of the Reaper, but the Reaper had never bothered with an answer at all. So it was up to him to undo what he had done. There had been a particular character that had caught his attention, seeing it used time and time again. 血液, for ‘blood’. Over and over, it spoke of blood. The jiangshi were not precisely like their Western vampire counterparts, but they had a specific interest in their victim’s essences and their blood. And though Dr. Junkenstein didn’t know how to harvest something as nebulous as ‘essence’, he knew how to get blood. And not just any blood…

***

He’d taken a bath and forced a meal into his jaws, waiting for the moon to rise into the sky. The Monster stood firmly by his side, his gut shuddering occasionally as his piecemeal lungs struggled to breathe life into his massive form. Junkenstein fussed nervously at his hair, still a little damp where it had formed into a spike on one side and dried that way, refusing to change shape now. Scarecrow was nowhere to be seen, though that was hardly unusual. A small group of zomnics drifted around the enormous lab space, carrying tools and stacking equipment…And a new figure lay under a large white cloth on the same table that had birthed his beloved first creations. He waited, chewing at the tip of his glove nervously, the rubber catching in a disgusting textural way between the tips of his teeth, squeaking as he gnawed and waited. Occasionally he heard the opening and shutting of doors as the zomnics moved around the tower and courtyard, but they were not the sounds he was listening for. The only solace was that this breed of company was never late, and he waited for them with bated breath as the clock on his wall ticked down the minutes to their alloted meeting time. The Monster tilted his head down to him, and offered one of his very, very rare instances of input. “Hrm…Bad idea.” Junkenstein’s glare snapped upward, baring his teeth with the sharp canines still sunk into his glove. “Begging your pardon for my language, mate, but that’s tough tits for you! Because it’s the only idea we got. You know what to do! I’m going to bring her back, just like I brought you back. And this is the only way I can do it.” The Monster rumbled unhappily and turned back, lifting his ponderous chin as footsteps sounded from down the hallway. Junkenstein beamed, clasping her hands together as the doors to his lab creaked open with the squeal of old wood and even older hinges. The Reaper came first, metal boots heavy against the cracked tiles, the grin of his jack-o-lantern head throwing eerie shadows over his leather-clad form, coat trailing behind him. The Summoner was second, scaly hide emanating heat and malice as her eyes glowed wild yellow against the darkness of her scales. And behind them came the Witch herself, carrying her broom in one hand and not nearly so intimidating as her servants; her expression kind but cold, and her soft lips curled into that ever-present smile that never truly reached her eyes, her presence a potent mixture of both offputting and soothing that Junkenstein had never been able to understand. Her attendants stood aside to let her pass as the Witch strode forward, resting her broom on the ground before removing it again with a little curl of her lip…The floor was too filthy even for her broom. Glancing back up to the twitching Dr. Junkenstein, she placed a gloved hand to her hip, her eyes drawn past him to the sheet-covered form on the slab. “I understand that you think this is worth gathering us all here, good Doctor?” Junkenstein wheezed out a shrill giggling laugh, tapping his fingers together nervously. “Ladies and gentlemen! I’ve had some spare time on my hands as of late, and I happened to remember an old prototype I’d been working on ages ago. I’ve improved on the zomnic formula to make them better than ever. But we’re still missing something, don’t you think? The zomnic shock troops and the rank and file are all well and good, but what we need is something a bit more…in-your-face, shall we say?” The Summoner examined her claws, somehow managing to look the most unimpressed out of all his audience. “You brought us here to look at an old prototype?” He tried not to bristle at the criticism, tried to remember Mei’s sleeping face on his pillow instead. “N-not at all, my dear Lady! I brought you here to look at its improvements. If we put a few of these out onto the battlefield during our attack, it’ll make them think twice, if they’re still alive to think at all! So, for your approval, I want to present you…The Harvester!” With a curt nod, he signaled the Monster, and the sheet was yanked from the table to reveal his newest creation. The zomnic below was thin and scrawny, with skinny metal digitrade legs and curved claws. Its top half resembled something of a cocoon, almost a thin metal barrel with vertical slits up and down its circumference, up to a metal skull-like head, its mouth brimming with needle-sharp spikes, on top of a spring-loaded coil neck. It wasn’t really the most elegant thing he’d ever made. Honestly when he looked at it now, it looked a bit topheavy and silly, and judging by the expressions of his ‘business partners’, they thought even less of it. He quickly lifted a hand, bearing a remote control panel, and fumbled with the switches. “Unassuming now, isn’t it? But wait until you see what she’s capable of!” With a press of the button, the Harvester whirred to life, its eyelights flickering on and glowing bright blue as electricity crackled over it, shuddering to life. It launched abruptly upright, landing with a click of rigged-together metal feet as numerous arms extended and unfolded from the length of its body, unfurling into multi-jointed appendages that each ended with a sharp metal scythe. Junkenstein made it perform a little twirl, its movements rapid, but unnatural and jerky as its arms whirled and spun, transforming it into a whirling dervish of deadly metal blades, whistling through the air as it tromped forward at them. The Reaper tilted his head and for once seemed thoughtful. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but…this one isn’t that bad.” The Witch tapped her chin and nodded. “I suppose we could use a more deft sort of troop to deal with melee distractions. What else can it do?” A zomnic target-bot drifted forward at that, and the Harvester turned its head and immediately set upon it, scythes whirring and slicing as its unlucky victim was shredded into parts with a screech of metal. The next several target-bits suffered much the same as the Harvester gave several agile little leaps, slashing apart anything that stood in its way. But then it shuddered hard as electricity suddenly crackled around its lithe body, head jerking to and fro before its glowing eyes set upon its next target, and it leapt again… This time it slammed into the ground next to the Reaper, and its scythes swung straight for him. The pumpkin-headed specter managed to dodge the first two, much to his credit, but the third and fourth caught him across the arm and torso, spraying black ichor as the ghostly figure bellowed. The Summoner’s yellow eyes widened and she tried to step back as the berserk Harvester turned upon her next, its blades clanking against her hard dragon-like scales. The Witch turned upon the doctor, eyes narrowed. “Turn it off!” Junkenstein slammed at the buttons, “It’s not listening! It’s not listening!” The Summoner’s armor broke, a long cut opening up along her upper arm as it bled molten yellow-red. She clutched at it and fell back, just as gunshots echoed through the hall. The Reaper was retaliating, his lower half shrouded in black smoke as the bullets clicked and clanged off the Harvester’s steel form, bouncing off its armor plating where it did not manage to rip through. Junkenstein made a show of slamming his fist into the buttons of its controls, then paused when the metal monstrosity turned its eyes not upon the Witch…but onto him. With a warped cry of mock vocal-cords, the Harvester set upon him, one of its blades catching him across the chest and another along his shoulder and nicking his cheek. He fell, red fountaining out over his once clean labcoat, the control panel shattering under him. Still, even as he grasped at his new wounds, Dr. Junkenstein watched as the Harvester finally -finally- fixated on the Witch herself. It advanced, its blades dripping with blood of all sorts, as the Witch took several steps back, cursing under her breath. But before it could reach her, The Reaper blocked its path yet again, more gunshots ripping through it and sending two  of its arms clattering to the ground. And Junkenstein almost screamed aloud when his Monster joined the fray, grasping one huge hand onto its spiked head and pulling it up away, crushing and ripping even as the Harvester flailed its scythes at its bulky form. With several more wrenching blows and the squeal of metal, the blade-bearing omnic monstrosity went limp, sparks occasionally erupting from its twitching body. Blood still oozed down his front and onto the ground around him as Junkenstein clutched his chest. The rush of adrenaline in his ears almost drowned out the words of those that gathered around him, shouting insults and abuse at his stupidity. He saw the wounds on the Reaper and the Summoner above him, and only the presence of the Witch and his Monster kept the two from destroying him outright as he lay bleeding on the floor. His eyes darted under his goggles, searching for any sign of a cut or gash on the Witch herself, but his heart sank when he found none, her skin as young and beautiful and unmarred as she had always been. He mumbled apologies and excuses, promising to do better, that this was just an unfortunate accident. The Reaper was not convinced, his gravely tones still raving. The Summoner even spat on him, a glob of molten saliva oozing down his coat and eating away the fabric. Junkenstein quailed and shook slightly, and the Monster rumbled dangerously and moved to shield him, grasping him by the peg leg and pulling him out of the fray, smearing red as he went. “The next time one of your creations goes awry, I’m putting it- and you- in the ground,” the Reaper snarled after him. “You’re lucky it didn’t manage to hurt Our Lady or I would have destroyed your mad soul!” “I told you including this lunatic was a worthless endeavor!” The Summoner ran a claw ruefully along her wounded arm. “If your zomnics were not necessary to this plan, I would do this world a favor by sparing it from your further ineptitude!” The Witch waved a hand to calm her associates, speaking platitudes and calming things that Junkenstein could barely hear. “Well, it seems as though we have seen enough here for tonight, I think. The prototype I liked, I think. The mess that came from it? Well…” She gestured to the wounded. “Come now, my friends, I will take you back and heal your wounds. Although I believe I will let the good Dr. Junkenstein think on his mistakes for just a bit longer.” The Summoner and the Reaper vanished in a spout of black flame just as Dr. Junkenstein slipped into unconsciousness, still holding his wounded front. ***

Things returned to a tenuous quiet despite the carnage around them, as the Witch tapped a finger to her chin and watched as the Monster leaned down to scoop up the doctor’s limp body. “You know,” she said in an almost conversational tone, “This was all a rather bad idea.” “Mmm,” the Monster agreed. “I will admit, I actually do like the prototype. We might be able to use it later, although I believe there are more…pressing matters to attend to. It’s a shame he ruined the thing with this little plan of his.” “Ghmm.” “Still, there’s almost a part of me that’s impressed that he had the gall. And another part that was impressed that he actually managed to get my servants to bleed. I suppose it’s the only way he could get it. His acting could use a bit of improvement, but I appreciate the effort,” she waved a hand, a little flicker appearing in her palm before going to hand the Monster a tiny vial. “This is a single drop of my blood. If he is planning what I believe he is planning, there may actually be a small chance for it to work. Or well, I hope it does. I’d love to be able to invite Mei for tea again, she’s a breath of fresh air in the chaos of this place.” The Monster nodded and took the vial carefully into one huge palm, before offering up the Doctor’s sprawled form. “Mm?” “He will live, and really, it’ll be a good reminder about caution during these schemes of his. Do let me know if all this works, won’t you? This has been…amusing.” With that, the Witch vanished in a whirl of black shadow, and was gone. The Monster placed one huge hand to his creator’s chest, staunching the blood under his fingers as he carried him away. ***

Junkenstein awoke later, his chest and shoulder crudely bandaged, slumped in his favorite armchair in his study. He groaned, clutching at the stained gauze, muscles sore and his mind still delirious from stress and lack of sleep. He coughed wetly and heard the answering shuffle of someone nearby, as his Monster loomed up out of the dark and into the fire’s light. Junkenstein allowed himself to relax slightly. “Did we get everything?” “Mm,” the Monster confirmed. Scarecrow appeared on the other side of his chair, straw shuffling with a dry hush as it held out containers filled to the brim with blood; the black sludge from the Reaper, the molten yellow of the Dragon’s servant, the bright red from Junkenstein himself…and there was the teeny, unassuming vial that glowed eerily from within. Her blood. The Witch’s blood. Strange. He couldn’t remember seeing his creation wound the Witch, but he must have simply been mistaken. He had all the blood he needed now. “Victoryyyy!” he managed weakly, lifting both fists in his chair. “All right, naptime’s over, boys. I’ll take these!” He snatched the vials from Scarecrow’s hands, heading for the set of vials and tubes he had rigged up on the table earlier. Turning on the burners, he went right back to work. Far from the chaotic mess he had caused down in the kitchens, now he had the need of being precise and careful, no matter how much his hands were shaking. Dumping the blood from vial to vial, he carefully measured, poured, and stirred. The blood was not the sort to mix naturally, and he had done all the research he could on getting them to meld. The Summoner, a being of fire, and the Reaper, a dead thing of black cold, were not exactly close friends in business relationship or blood types, and it had taken all his chemical finesse to get them to blend. Perhaps it had been a good thing the Harvester had accidentally provided so much more of Junkenstein’s own blood then, a human blood that the other blood types could blend into and dominate, adding in more and more of his own red as it was threatened to be consumed by the yellow and black. When the balancing act was perfected and boiled and blended and finally stabilized…then came the final ingredient; the Witch’s own blood, that single, precious drop of glowing red that was so much stronger than his own. The droplet bobbled and wobbled, clinging reluctantly to the lip of the vial before gravity finally seized hold, dripping into the mixture. There was no crackle of electricity, no steam or smoke, not even the faintest of booms, but Junkenstein felt something ripple across the mixture, change it, and its power changed tenfold. Very carefully, he took the mixture and dumped a portion into the ink pot, taking the jiangshi’s spell paper and her old peacock feather. Dipping it into the mixture, he carefully painted the Chinese symbols he had made before, the bloody mixture seeping into the paper, redder than ink and blacker than blood. With his tongue stuck out and biting until it almost bled even more, he carefully swirled the pen into the last symbol, finishing the new spell into an infinitely more powerful version. “Bring her in!” Junkenstein shrilled quickly, just as the door opened and the Monster reappeared, cradling her stiff body in both powerful hands. He brought her down to Junkenstein’s level, the Monster shifting her into one massive arm so his other could pry her fanged jaws open. The doctor took the remainder of the blood mixture and, after pulling her tongue out of the way with two delicate pinching fingers, poured it down her cold and unresponsive throat. Pushing her jaws shut once more, he attached the spell paper to her hat and then draped it across her forehead as the charm fluttered slightly, the symbols on it seeming to glow for a moment before going dull. Junkenstein held his breath as he and the monster leaned in expectantly. Scarecrow, lurking nearby, also tried to lean in, only to have Dr. Junkenstein roughly grab onto its head and shove it away again. He and the Monster listened quietly…and then they heard the jiangshi swallow. Smacking away the sticky blood concoction in her throat with a few gulps, Mei’s eyes rolled back down into focus, turning from unseeing white back to their usual gentle darkness as she blearily adjusted her glasses as though that would help. Junkenstein didn’t feel tired anymore, a too-wide grin stretching nearly across the entire width of his skull, baring almost every single one of his sharp teeth. Especially when she coughed a little and tried to find her voice, whispering aloud in her strong accent, “D…doc-..tor?” “Welcome back, Mei.”

#meihem #meirat #junkmei #junkenstein #junkenstein au #junkrat #mei #mei-ling zhou #roadhog #monster #scarecrow #overwatch #fanfiction #funkymeihem

[seokmins-thighs]

[fic] one of these nights

Pairing: hinted (?) + broken!Hoshi x Dokyeom/Soonseok

Genre: Shelter!au, angst

Word count: 2156w

Warning(s): couple mentions of suicide

Description: Soonyoung builds lonely worlds with the tablet in his hands.

a/n: i just had to… the title is from Red Velvet’s song that i listened to while writing this. idk if it would be better to watch the video before reading this so... :D

____

The mattress relaxes under dry fingertips as he shifts beneath the sheets and welcomes sunlight seeping into closed eyelids. He drags a long exhale and rubs his eyes, sitting up on the bed and letting his blanket ride down his stomach.

He looks out to the clear walls, tilting his head back up to trees glaring down at him. Bark climbing up to reach for the skies but green leaves touching clouds closer. Sacrifices of branches left at the foliage below heights and nearby his arms. A black tint of a bird shoots across the sky, between one swaying branch and the next, and Soonyoung wonders when exactly he drew that bird. His decisions level off whether or not he should add in some rain to listen to pitter-patters vibrating on the flat ceiling when another idea arises.

His hands crawl for the tablet somewhere on his bed and his fingerprints pave ways to the pile of pillows on his side of the bed against the wall. Cool metal meets his hand like a warm greeting and the stylus follows right after.

No messages in 2598 days

What should I draw this time? is a question he throws hanging in the air every day, through a tight grip of the stylus in his fingertips and strong, anxious hold of the tablet on his lap. The end of the stylus hovers over the eraser button, quickly knocking down trepidation and sending the pen closer to the screen the further down his mind goes into imagining a new world.

Trees collapse down into waterfalls of gray, earth of his surroundings melting into liquid browns before solidifying into monochrome. Black tints explode into nothing and it takes an awful screech scratching into his ears to realize that it’s the bird he saw from what feels like decades ago. Clouds snap into blocks before dissipating and crashing down in a humming silence.

Soonyoung simply sighs as everything starts building from the bottom up through careful strokes of his hands over the tablet–tints of blue bleeding onto surfaces besides the cube of his room but never through it, chromatic floats of fishes, splashes of water hitting against transparent walls. He points the stylus over the duplicate button, dotting the screen at the lake and letting fish multiply behind his headboard and next to his pillows. He circles the only square on his screen, flashing a calming red and bright blue, and drags it higher on the pixel canvas.

Under his toes, fishes become wandering microscopic blacks against the blue, not really knowing where they’re going and why they’re there. He pulls his blanket off and sits at the edge of his bed, feet dangling above coaxing waters through barriers of the floor.

He paints a boulder right under the cube and he stops himself from bringing his cube right through the rock.

0000

No messages in 2598 days

He doesn’t stop himself from pressing the eraser button the next morning, letting all lakes and streams evaporate into grays and whites below his toes, staring blankly and specks of fishes breaking apart so easily. The boulder right below him melts into gray smoke like burning grass.

Nothing wrings his heart heavy and numb as he continually taps his stylus at the eraser button, not even after everything around him is a blaring white.

It’s at that moment, when everything above him doesn’t change a single shade in color, that he notices he didn’t even draw a sky.

1111

No messages in 2599 days

He fiddles with the tablet the next day, twirling the pen between bored digits. He stares at the desolation in every centimeter around him that isn’t in his cube, pondering what he should construct next.

He picks up his stylus and washes the entire screen with black, except for the gradual fade of red to blue and red again of his cube still alive in the pixels. Black crawls into white space above like ocean waves, trails of gray clouds drifting merely seconds behind. He blinks once, twice to get his eyes adjusted to the new oblivion above.

Once he’s done, he lies back down with arms folded under his head, at the moon above and ringlets of light. Not a single star to comfort the moon. His heart lulls in his chest, serene and smooth.

2222

Soonyoung swears he didn’t press the eraser button before he fell asleep. It’s a routine to lock his tablet so that not even his own handprint on the screen will stir the device awake and ready to create his lonesome surroundings before he does.

Outside of his four walls, there’s a room much more complicated, more lively, more organized than his own cube. With more blankets and pillows on the unoccupied bed, way too many for a single person to use. Light tumbles through parted curtains of a window and falls right onto a bookshelf, oozing hardcovers and paperbacks behind small trinkets. Soonyoung steps closer in his cube and reads the titles, characters decipherable to his own eyes and brain. Some words pluck at his memory, tease him that this could be something that he has drawn for himself before.

It’s when he hears another voice in the distance, not in the room, that he knows he definitely did not draw this before. He couldn’t have. He can’t draw voices.

Someone walks in after a lazy creak of the door, door stopper banging against the wall once before that person walks in. It’s all bare, languid steps towards the bed, early-morning digits carding knuckle-deep through unstyled hair, a sudden kick at Soonyoung’s guts that this isn’t the first time he has seen this person.

“Soonyoung,” the person calls and their voice reaches somewhere into the depths of Soonyoung’s memory, but the grasp is barely fingertips away. A missing sound in between the first and last part of his name because this person’s voice is still shaking sleep off of their throat.

“Seokmin,” Soonyoung hears his own voice off in the distance.

“Let’s go back to sleep,” the person smiles before falling on the mattress, hugging the pile of pillows closer to his chest and ruining the fixed bed in a way that urges Soonyoung to leap out and mess up the covers even more.

Soonyoung watches himself walk in with a plate in his hands, stacks of eggs in random shapes scattered across porcelain. His hair is even messier than the person’s, strands standing at many angles. “I just made breakfast, though.”

Soonyoung swears he didn’t press the eraser button as everything falls apart without the tablet in his hand, without him robbing the chance to put pieces of different puzzles together. His fists bang on the transparent walls for everything to stop and for once, for everything to stay the way they are, to not draw a single change. His screaming to bring everything back doesn’t burn at his ears as it used to. He believes he has gotten used to it, but he doesn’t know when the last times his throat ached this bad, his voice wrecked so broken and quiet for something yearns for but doesn’t know why.

3333

He lies in bed with fluttering eyes that night. In fact, his eyes never leave the tablet at all that night and the night after.

The tablet lights up every few seconds when he attempts to go back to his drawing history, to manifest whatever he saw that day. He wonders why the undo button decides to malfunction now, when Soonyoung never wanted to go back until now.

No messages in 2603 days

4444

Soonyoung tried drawing a human once. Allowed his stylus to draw anything that resembles himself or someone that tugs his memories in harsh pulls, nearly rope-snapping heaves that leave him breathless. It never breaks the right ropes, though.

A person.

Someone with flesh and bones like him. Maybe a little taller than him. With a gentle smile that Soonyoung hoped had welcomed him to somewhere in the past. Remnants of sunlight at pure eyes when the person looked up at the sun that Soonyoung drew specifically for them. Maybe it’s because when people say that humans are made from the stars, the person is actually made out of the sun.

But when Soonyoung proffered a conversation with that person, held out a hand to hold for the first time in a long time, he froze as his creation dissolved into something more like sand, something far off from a human. His fingers hung in lonely space, dust collecting under his nails and into creases of his trembling palms. He didn’t even wipe off the irritating dust lingering at his eyes.

That was the first and last time Soonyoung sketches his last escapes of isolation.

5555

No messages in 2613 days

Soonyoung composes himself in a busy whim of a cityscape, stuck in the center of traffic where no one drives to nowhere. He lets cars run by themselves, gas pedals jammed at sporadic times without restriction, without purpose of reaching a certain destination. Night lights switch on in holes of skyscrapers, helping guide blind eyes of vacancy in stranded darkness.

He draws a crooked opening at the opposite wall of his bed, a sorry excuse for a door if there was anyone else around to care about it, and steps right through. His eyes start to burn at the ghost of a life in the back of his mind, a wish for his past that he never knew, of a future he yearns to settle for, of the present he wants to know why and how.

He strides down the sidewalk barefooted, tablet and stylus tucked in his palms and swaying at his side. Cold concrete and pecks of stones meet at his feet along the way as he squints to read flashing neon signs perched at buildings. No matter how close to his face the details of advertisements are, no matter how big the names of stores and buildings blink, he can’t understand a single word. Every single letter blurs at his vision, some distortion of print playing with his brain.

He thinks perhaps that it’s because he never named the places, papers, signs himself. Perhaps he can’t think of any names at all, besides his own.

6666

No messages in 2624 days

It takes a while before Soonyoung can pick up the stylus to control his surroundings again. He sketches a flame kindling under floors of his cube, tips of wavering red prying closer to his toes but never close enough. He circles the cube in his tablet and brings it up higher on the canvas as the fire grows taller.

Blazes engulf the molten ground from below, seeps of deadly red breaking through the cracks, and a part of Soonyoung wants to draw another door and run out.

7777

No messages in 2624 days

Soonyoung’s chest caves in while he tries drawing a door into the sadistic illusion at the other side of his walls, tears blurring his periphery and dropping right onto the screen when the tablet on his shaking lap doesn’t cooperate with the pen in his hand.

Each motion of the pen for an open door forces Soonyoung to watch the person hold a slumbering Soonyoung in their arms. Everything feels so, so real outside that Soonyoung wonders if this is how he lived his life before being trapped in here, wherever here is. He doesn’t know if it’s the person’s tears or his tears sending both of them crying, but the person whispers something into Soonyoung’s ears, deaf into his own.

The person’s voice is a mess of syllables and unclear as they shudder a slight and lift a long kiss onto Soonyoung’s forehead. The person slowly slips out of the bed, not wanting to leave, mattress already looking too big with only Soonyoung’s body on it. The person heads for the door and turns around to look at Soonyoung before leaving.

A throat-scratching scream boils through clenched teeth as he presses the stylus harder onto the tablet, trying to build that door into the life outside. He just wants to vanish from the lonely box he lives in, wants to make the person cease at their steps and return to him, whoever they are.

He holds the edges of the tablet in his hands and nearly snaps it in two, until his hands hurt just from feeling the metal and reminding himself that he doesn’t know what will happen if he does break it.

But which one will break first: the reality he lives in or himself?

He doesn’t want to know, but something tells him to give it a try.

8888

Soonyoung lives in a word of white, pressing his eyes shut to the black but occasionally giving way to hope that one day, the person will come back to the Soonyoung outside for the Soonyoung inside.

____

a/n 2: i hope it makes sense. idk why i’m so worried about that. me poor heart for soonyoung :’c and i hope no one minds the way i separated each section bc it made sense to me that way ???

pt. ii

#seventeen #hoshi #seokmin #soonseok #seventeen fanfic #tabi writing

[erriikkka]

As I develop my capabilities, I’ve been really a hoarder of movies, Disney films to be exact. Since then, it has always been a part of me to pay attention to these movie pictures that accompanied and innovated me throughout the years. Furthermore, i have abide to tackle the route in reaching my dreams and I have these bundle of films that represents my childhood in which i can relate to. These movies are the reason that at some point in my life, it also happens to me, and there, I see myself in my that particular scene so what are you waiting for? come on and see what’s inside my movie blog!

I. Beauty and the Beast

the 18th-century fairy tale was brought into life.

Beauty and the Beast

Disney has already given us live-action versions of animated films like Alice in Wonderland, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty in recent years but in a way, Beauty and the Beast feels like the riskiest of them all so far, as far as potential backlash is concerned. Beauty and the Beast is still much more recent than those other animated classics, and many can clearly remember growing up during the film’s initial release and explosion in popularity. Starting from editing, the musical, the casting, setting and the whole production staff made everything possible for this film has to be brought into life and its just very alluring, it will never disappoint you. There are numerous scenes from the film that leave me breathless and had me in tears. One of these scenes is when Belle and the Beast had their first date and dance in the tune “Beauty and the Beast” which depicts their love story. Speaking of their lovestory, the story’s fantastical elements made it feel truly “realistic,” these touches the hearts of its viewers especially, the die-hard Disney fans who waited for this time to happen. It was like a time travel from time to time through the use of the music box which plays the life of Belle since she was born. Lastly, it was when Gaston fatally shoots the Beast from a bridge, but it collapses when the castle crumbles, and he falls to his death. The Beast dies as the last petal falls, and the servants become inanimate. As Belle tearfully professes her love to the Beast, the enchantress reveals herself and undoes the curse, repairing the crumbling castle, and restoring the Beast’s and servants’ human forms and the villagers’ memories. The Prince and Belle host a ball for the kingdom, where they dance and lived happily ever after. With that, I could definitely say that i am mesmerized by this film and it has a huge impact in my life. This movie get to be my favorite movie. 10/10

II. Frozen

Frozen.

My happy pill.

  Frozen desalinates the new generation, our generation. Wherein, the youths are being portrayed by Elsa who would always keep a particular secret from everyone for the reason that she’s afraid that the society wont accept her. Within her, i saw myself, i saw how excruciating it is for her to lose her loved ones, i’m not saying that the same thing occurred to me but, even my family’s complete, there’s always that something that’ll be missing.  Since then, this film has been my happy pill and Elsa served as my spirit animal and just like her, I should be continuing what I’ve started and what I want because basically, it’s me, that is me. No one could ever deny the hard fact that these challenges will always come and test us, but we should all believe in ourselves that we can like what Elsa did. She stood up for herself and she even managed to grow into a beautiful rose even if she’s all alone. The reason why i really can’t resist this film is about it’s life lessons that we should always think first before we should do any decisions for it might affect our future.

III. Inside Out

The universe is full of dark matter and black holes, of planets made of diamond and space clouds that smell like raspberries. It is beautiful, terrifying and very, very odd. but none of that wonder holds a Christmas candle to what goes on in the mind of an 11-year-old girl. Take Riley—a fun, goofy, hockey-loving kid from Minnesota. Sure, she might not look all that unusual from the outside. But dive into her gray matter and you’ll see towering shelves full of memories and terrifying forests of broccoli in her subconscious, cloud cities forming in her imagination and elaborate dreams taking shape on the sound stage of her psyche. Above it all, in the control tower, work Riley’s core emotions: Joy, Sadness, Disgust, Anger and Fear. They push buttons and twist knobs and help power Riley through each and every day, making scads of marble-like memories all the while. Most of those marbles are eventually whisked away to long-term memory storage. But a handful stay in the control room. They’re her core memories, moments so critical in Riley’s development that they’ve spawned whole islands of identity. When Joy is sucked out of the control tower, though, it becomes impossible for Riley to do much but sulk and cower and occasionally blow up. And while that’s not good in and of itself, it’s a fantastic depiction of what kids feel when they’re under a lot of stress. When you’re 11 and your whole world has changed, your inner world is shaken, too. And we learn here that our emotions, even ones that might seem, on the surface, “bad,” can help stabilize things. Riley’s parents don’t understand what’s going on with their suddenly sullen daughter, but they want to help. And so they do—through love and patience and understanding. It’s pretty obvious that Mom and Dad are great (though not always perfect) parents, and Riley, eventually, sees them as such. That means Inside Out isn’t content to depict how awful things can get when our lives take a sudden downward turn. No, it also wants to show us how important family can be in the process of picking yourself up and moving on.

IV. Moana

  Princesses come in all shapes, sizes, and colors, though Disney’s latest addition to its ever-growing gallery of empowered female heroines, Moana – The sail of the century. It is a tale of the young daughter of a Polynesian chief who seeks to explore the world beyond her island in the Pacific and save her people in the process. Moana’s father continually asserts that because her role is to be the island’s next leader, she must remain on the island. However, her decision to defy her father’s orders leads to a fulfilling experience. She skillfully incorporates Polynesian culture into its plot, demonstrating its beauty and intricacy while respecting its origins. The film includes the traditional Polynesian legend of Maui, a demigod known for his mischievous personality and contributions to mankind, most notably his creation of the Pacific Islands by pulling up rocks from beneath the ocean. Maui’s character is cleverly utilized to highlight the significance of Moana’s agency as a young woman. Demonstrating his rude personality, Maui constantly doubts Moana’s ability to navigate the ocean and help her people because of her status as the young daughter of a chief. Moana’s continual capacity to prove Maui wrong emphasizes her independence and inherent talents regardless of her social standing or gender. Though Maui and his godly powers contribute to the storyline, Moana’s strength and determination are central to the film’s plot and communicate a stirring message of female empowerment. Patience is the key to happiness, they say, and nearly the entire film embodies that belief. For example, Moana must find enough patience to learn how to sail, patience in Maui who doesn’t trust her at first, and patience throughout her entire journey. During the film we see Moana fail a few times before she finally succeeds, and that added humanity to her character, which a lot of protagonists tend to lack. When a lot of people see this, especially our youth, I think it will help them realize that mistakes are a part of our journey through life, and some things require patience before success. The film will be cheered as many things — an entertaining holiday film, a princess story without the slightest hint of romance, a multicultural addition to the Disney family — but best of all, it’s a sharp attack on helicopter parenting. Unlike most of the young women we meet in fairy tales, Moana has a happy childhood and never wants for anything. Like many middle-class American kids today, she has two wonderful, caring parents who only want what’s best for her. Otherwise, the movie offers positive messages of self-discovery and empowerment. And Moana herself is a great role model, demonstrating perseverance, curiosity, and courage.

V. Coco

They say, Coco is the best movie of Pixar in years, and I totally agrees with it. Most of the scenes in the movie takes place in the Land of the Dead, but the movie never stops overflowing with life. Colors riot and effervesce, Mexican folk-art patterns tease the eye, music and song ride beneath each scene and goose it forward. The movie’s so exuberantly visual that it feels as if you’re sticking your head inside the collective unconscious of an entire culture. Not to mention it’s soundtrack “remember me” which says the whole story and within that, we can all see that many people can relate in this kind of music especially the emotional ones. Although out the movie, it made me cry for the reason that at some how I can relate and I know how it feels when your parents are contradicting the things you wanted to do. This movie is a 10/10 for me. It’s really nice and knowing me, being emotional this movie suits my sentimental heart. While all is well in the end, the movie can be dark and sad , especially for those who’ve lost beloved relatives. But it also has powerful themes of perseverance, teamwork, and gratitude and encourages audiences to love and appreciate their family and always follow their dreams.

5 worthy movies that you shouldn’t miss! As I develop my capabilities, I've been really a hoarder of movies, Disney films to be exact.

[lela-steep-blog]

Literary References in Lela & Co

“Imagination, fiction and fantasy are important to me. I have respect for verbatim theatre but that’s not personally how I write. It does come down to what’s happening in the world around me? What am I reading? What am I listening to? What’s inspiring me? And then how does all that go into my head and make a play?” - Cordelia Lynn

Lela & Co. is an unusually referential play, filled with direct quotations and stylistic allusions, spanning from 16th century poetry to the modern novel. This befits a metatheatrical text like Lela & Co., which is examining and deconstructing the way we think about storytelling. It also seems to be the result of Cordelia Lynn’s extensive background in English literature - she majored in English lit at University of Bristol and received her masters in Modern Literature at University College London. What follows is a brief catalogue and analysis of the way Cordelia Lynn uses literary reference throughout the play.

King Lear/Shakespeare

“I put her in the bath, and I took her out of the bath again and I held her close and I said ‘Never never never never.’ Never. Is a very long word.” (pg 43, Lela & Co)

“And my poor fool is hang’d! No, no, no life! Why should a dog, a horse, a rate, have life, And thou no breath at all? Thou’lt come no more, Never, never, never, never, never! Pray you, undo this button: thank you, sir. Do you see this? Look on her, look, her lips, Look there, look there!” (5.3 324-330, King Lear)

In final scene of Shakespeare’s King Lear, the title title character repeats the word “never” five times over the dead body of his daughter. Lela also repeats “never” five times to her child, but in this case it signifies her resolution to keep her daughter alive. Cordelia Lynn takes an infamously existential moment in Shakespeare’s writing and makes it affirmative.

Blasted/Sarah Kane

“I would kill all of you. I would take out your eyes and eat them. I would eat. Your eyes.” (pg 44, Lela & Co.)

“The soldier grips Ian’s head in his hands. He puts his mouth over one of Ian’s eyes, sucks it out, bites it off and eats it. He does the same to the other eye.” (pg 50, Blasted)

In one of the most infamous stage directions in modern drama, the protagonist of Sarah Kane’s Blasted is gruesomely blinded by a soldier. Cordelia Lynn has said that Sarah Kane is one of her favorite writers, and it seems she borrowed that image from Blasted for the moment Lela banishes the male voice from the stage. In other less direct ways, Kane’s influence can be felt throughout Lela and Co. Kane frequently sets her plays in nebulous spaces - a space can be a luxury hotel room in England, a war zone, and a Beckettian hellscape all at once - and that sense of dislocation can be strongly felt in Lela & Co., which deliberately avoids being set in a single time or place. Her influence can also be felt in the formal transformation that Lela and Co. undergoes as it descends into it’s much darker second half, and in its interest in the way interpersonal violence and political violence are connected. As Cordelia Lynn wrote in an article for the Guardian, her world’s characters “have been, and are being, shattered by violence, and they helplessly recreate what happens on a vast public scale within the walls of their homes, in the minutiae of their relationships.”

Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?/Edward Albee

“So, yes, all in all bad to...better...best...bested.” (pg 26, Lela & Co.)

“Dashed hopes and good intentions. Good, better, best, bested! How do you like that for a declension? You didn't answer my question. Don't condescend. I asked you how you liked that declension. Good; better; best; bested. Hm?”

“What do you want me to say? Do you want me to say it’s funny, so you can contradict me and say it’s sad? Or do you want me to say it’s sad so you can turn around and say no, it’s funny. You can play that damn little game any way you want to!” (Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?)

Cordelia Lynn makes a direct allusion to Edward Albee’s iconic 1962 play Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf. In the above passage from Albee’s play, Nick expresses frustration at the inevitable humiliation that will occur if he agrees to take part in George’s games.  George creates the game, so George makes the rules. In Lela & Co., Lynn brings back “Good, better, best, bested” when Lela’s husband explains the business of selling Lela’s body, interrupting the monologue structure to assert his dominance and control over Lela’s life and body. Her husband makes the rules. In an interview about the creation of Lela & Co., Lynn cites a quote from Albee as a guiding philosophy for her - “since art must move, or wither – the playwright must try to alter the forms within which his precursors have had to work.”  This desire for formal innovation can clearly be seen in Lynn’s writing.

Fight Club/Chuck Palahniuk/David Fincher

“Every week, Tyler gave the rules that he and I decided. Gentlemen, welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.”

“The first rule of Lela & Co. Limited is you don’t talk about Lela & Co. Limited or we’ll break your legs...We’ll probably break your legs anyway.” (pg 32, Lela & Co.)  

Lynn references Chuck Palahniuk’s novel Fight Club (which later became a film directed by David Fincher) in the section where the husband outlines Lela & Co. Limited’s “rules and regulations.” In a disturbing and darkly comedic back and forth, the husband establishes Lela as the company property, and Lela interjects when she can, assuming the husband’s vocabulary of violence used previously in the play. This scene from Fight Club is a popular pop culture reference and extremely fitting for Lela & Co. in the irony that something so dehumanizing and vicious has “rules,” as well as the themes of patriarchal power present in both texts.

The Giaour/Byron

“Oh! who young Leila’s glance could read And keep that portion of his creed Which saith that woman is but dust, A soulless toy for tyrant’s lust?” (The Giaour)

Cordelia Lynn might have derived her protagonists name from Lord Byron’s poem The Giaour, which was written in 1813 after Byron became aware of the Turkish custom of throwing a woman found guilty of adultery into the sea wrapped in a sack. The poem has a Rashomon-esque structure in which three characters tell a single story from different perspectives. In it’s depiction of the political repression of women, as well as multiple storytellers fighting to control a narrative, one can see several connections to Lela & Co.

Westron Wynde

“Oh Western Wind, when wilt thou blow? The small rain down can rain. Christ, if my love were in my arms, and I in my bed again.” (pg 49, Lela & Co.)

Throughout Lela & Co. the title character tries to sing the song quoted above, but is always interrupted by the male voice. This song was written in the 16th century, originally in Middle English. It’s been set to many different melodies over years (including the original melody our sound designer Thomas Dixon created for this production), and has been the basis for several religious Masses and a movement of Stravinsky’s Cantata. Several writers have quoted it, mostly notably Virginia Woolf in her novel The Waves, as well as Thomas Pynchon, who used a lyric from the song as the title for his first published short story, “The Small Rain”.

Angela Carter

“When I saw him look at me with lust, I dropped my eyes but, in glancing away from him, I caught sight of myself in the mirror. And I saw myself, suddenly, as he saw me, my pale face, the way the muscles in my neck stuck out like thin wire. I saw how much that cruel necklace became me. And, for the first time in my innocent and confined life, I sensed in myself a potentiality for corruption that took my breath away.” (The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories)

“I was shy of him, he seemed very distinguished, in his suit with his little trimmed moustache, a quiet sort of man with a very steady gaze, and nearly ten years my senior. I’d catch him looking at me, very steady and it made me shudder inside, when I caught him looking at me. A funny little shudder that was like something dropping out of me, an emptiness forming all the sudden deep inside, so deep it hurt” (pg 14, Lela & Co.)

When discussing finding Lela’s voice, Cordelia Lynn described “reading Angela Carter in the evenings to take [her] mind off [the play], [and] everything clicked...of course [Lela] can speak in this quite baroque and poetic and lyrical and excitable way.” Angela Carter is an English novelist who wrote fairy tales in prose informed by modern influences such as psychoanalysis and surrealist poetry. In the above quotes, you can clearly see the similarities in the narrative voices.

Ismail Kadare

“At street corners, where walls join, I thought I could see some familiar features, like outlines of human faces, the shadows of cheekbones and eyebrows. They are really there, caught in stone for all time, along with the marks left by earthquakes, winters and scourges wrought by men.” (Chronicle in Stone)

“I walked out the door... It was very noisy and very dirty and there were broken buildings and bullet holes in the walls, the walls were like pockmarked faces, like the skin of the city the whole city was diseased, and all around were foreign police and soldiers and officials and immigrants and refugees and homeless and homecoming and there it was this felled city and these felled peoples and the dust and the dirt...” (pg 45, Lela and Co.)

Lynn references Albanian novelist Ismail Kadare as an inspiration during the writing of Lela & Co.  She says, “I had the initial story as a basis, did research and was reading Ismail Kadare who writes about conflict.”

#lela: ad