Tumgik
#didnt sleep all night and its almost 6 am now lol
blackvail22 · 7 months
Text
9/22/23 — 1:20am
i hate wanting to be productive in the middle of the night. i was tired all day tdy, and now i just want to do something productive. no!!! i work earlier than usual tomorrow!!!!
im doing my skincare now... i wore makeup tdy so i have no choice but to do it 🤯
im tired still but i dont want to sleep. i feel like i havent been productive enough tdy even though i went to 3 different appointments and within the 2 hours before work i cleaned my bathroom sink (that was incredibly disgusting, i am not exaggerating. no one has cleaned it in like a little over a year. my dad shaves his face there whenever it gets like 5 inches long and doesnt clean the hair out of the sink/on the counter. its gross.), made ramen (it wasnt v good).... at work i walked around almost the whole 6 hours. my feet hurt so!! bad!! after i work. it happens every time. it doesnt help that when i fell down my stairs, my "sprained" foot didnt heal properly. i also hurt my hand at work and have not seen a doctor .... im ngl im like a mess and if i tell anyone abt this theyll tell me its because im fat and need to lose weight WE GET IT. I KNOW. IM TRYING, AND JUST BECAUSE I AM DOESNT MEAN THAT I CANT HAVE SMTH WRONG WITH ME?????
anyways
im tired. like mentally and physically. i had counseling tdy and i told her everything and the time still wasnt full. she shared some things abt her life recently... still didnt fill the time. she didnt respond much at all, but she's grieving, so i understand
im not telling anyone except u and my digital diary about my situation with my ex... i need to stop complaining to people abt him and making it everyones problem when its really my fault i keep letting him back in my life. its bad! ive literally had dreams where he did that *thing* but like in an extremely worse way, and i told myself that i just had to live with it, that i have to get used to it. and, i mean, i guess i do... if i can *** ***** then he can do whatever.
im not even with him... just flirting heavily. he picks up on it, i think so, anyway....
im tired
i saw that u updated ur music playlist you sent to me recently ! so heres a song for u in return
2:51am
idk why it pisses me off so bad but when b says shes ugly it makes me so angry. "why cant i be like the pretty girls?" she is the definition of a pretty girl... she may not see it because people were mean to her growing up but its like... ive cried SO much because of how pretty she is. my parents call her the pretty girl, people at school say shes pretty all the time... it just makes me so upset that someone as pretty as her cant see it. and i wish she could, honestly.
and i hate that this makes me so angry. i have so much envy that it rips me apart every second of the day, and i hate it!!!!! im the fat, ugly friend, and i always felt bad for her being friends with me. she says that im one of the prettiest ppl she knows.... if that were true, would she have deleted all the photos of me off of her phone? who knows. and the fact that people compliment her all the time at school and in public should say A LOT about how pretty she is. it happens all the time! and i mean all the time. maybe she doesnt think it was genuine or she forgets? idk... i think the last time a stranger complimented my appearance was a year and a half ago at a taco bell drive thru. the last time i was called pretty (besides when my mom says it) was at leastt 6 months ago. im like distraught because she is literally so beautiful fuck
this is going to make me cry myself to sleep because i cant say any of this to her because this is really just unhealthy of me, like the envy and making me seem like the victim. it just makes me so upset that everyone thinks shes pretty but herself
yeah im def crying myself to sleep gn i work in 11hrs which sounds like a long time from now but i havent slept yet lol
3:16am
ok i lied i messaged her and said "i saw you commented "i wish i was one of the pretty girls" on a tiktok, and i really need you to know that you are the pretty girl. youre so incredibly beautiful not only on the outside but the inside too... it can be rare to find someone like that. i hope youre able to see yourself through my eyes someday and see yourself for what you truly are—beautiful"
i hope it doesnt come off weird
ok i cried and messaged her i should rlly just sleep now
0 notes
khaleesiofalicante · 3 years
Note
Hiiii i am back!!!
I was planning on commenting on every chapter but i usually read it at night and then i will go to sleep and then i try not to think about it the next day cause then i get greedy for more 😅... but i loved loved loved all of the chapters💖💖.. and i loved all the ships!! (I can be very dense sometimes, and usually all the ships are a suprise to me, but i hope i am not mistaken about Rafael and Anjali 👀) (ooohh and Lexi and Olivia... thats soooo going to crash and burn!!! But i am pretty sure it would be worth it!! - also i have a doubt and i might sound dumb here, but in the latest chapter there was a line about Lexi and Liv getting haircuts and there David called Liv Lexi's girlfriend and in chapter 6 it was said that the gang would be told about it being fake (oh honey if only you knew) ..so does that mean its not fake anymore? Or was it because David just knew it was going to be real soon so he said it like that (or thought it like that) i am very bad at keeping ttrack of the ages so i dont know how much time has passed since chapter 6.. ) (i am still not very sure about Gigi and Ronan (? Thats his name right?) Cause we got very little about him and i want the best for Gigi) (and yeahhhh Selena for centurion!!! I love her goal and her love for idris (actually thats something i wanted talk about too.. all the characters are soo diffferent and unique!! I dont know how you do it but i am amazed!! 🙇‍♀️💕)) and now to chapter 7.. first of all i loved the friendship between Jackson and David!!! I wonder if they would become Parabatai 🤔.. i dont remember if there was an age limit set for that ..but anyway it was really cute and though at first i didnt like that he was soo rude, Jackson has now officially joined my favorite character list🤓.. then *drum rolls* MAVID IS CANON!!!!1 🥳🥳🥸.. I thought it would only happen in the main series so i was suprised it happened in this chapter ... but loved the pacing of it all.. i also loved how you mentioned Max and portals in almost every chapter and made me so hyped that i got almost as happy when he did it as David!! I am so proud of my blueberry!!.. i guess thats all.. hope i didnt forget anything
Phew this got long.. ❤❤
PS: i love how all the kids adore Magnus..its what he deserves (i cant believe you mentioned a scene in which Magnus raised hell and u didnt show it!!!!)
Hope you are doing well💞💞
That's totally fine!!! I'm just glad you read it and like it fsjdfbjkfk.
I'm just gonna quickly clarify some of the questions you had in the ask:
Rafael and Anjali...Tis a bit complicated. We know he likes her. But we also know Anjali went back to Mexico. And we know Rafael is studying in Columbia University - where "coincidentally" Camilla is also studying. So only god (and I) knows what's gonna happen with the three of them.
David (and the others) do know Lexi and Liv are fake dating. But they prefer to think of Liv as the girlfriend. It's also odd to call someone their fake-girlfriend. Even in your head lol. Besides, we know David is a romantic. He 100% ships it.
It's been a year since the last story.
His name is actually Roman (named after Rome - where Haline met for the first time) and yeah we don't know anything about him other than he has dope taste in music. We will see more of him in the main fic :)
David and Jackson will not be parabatai since they are already past 18 - which is the age limit according to the law. But they will remain to be very close friends.
AND HECK YEAH MAGNUS DESERVES ALL THE LOVE AND ADMIRATION.
7 notes · View notes
onewomancitadel · 2 years
Note
im replying to your replies as an ask now just for ease dnendnend.
1) i thought i replied to that individual reblog BUT it was like 5 am my time when i did it so i might have hit the original post by accident 😭 sorry for that confusion!
2) yeah WOG for me is like. its a decent baseline but if WOG interferes with whats actually being presented within the story i just kinda disregard it. (like neo's backstory apparently taking place as long as 5 years before volume 1 makes no sense to me for a lot of reasons? so i just dont really pay attention to what ecm said about it. or cinder possibly being almost 30 because youre right! she's presented as younger than that and 24 is my maximum age for her)
3) you didnt come off as mean at all! i thought we might have gotten some wires crossed when you replied which is why i explained myself :^)
i DEFINITELY think that ruby's journey starting at 15 and cinder's starting at 15 is purposeful on many levels and it wouldn't surprise me if theyre evenly spaced in their gap (and i think it would be a cool parallel if winter and cinder are both placed at the same gap from each of their shadows/sisters! winter being 5-6 years older than weiss and cinder potentially being only 5-6 years older than ruby) definitely might be something to add to the ruby+cinder parallels post!
(Context: Cinder's age debate).
1. Oh no, I think I got confused... I just saw the reply in my notifs and went straight to reply, and I got mixed up with the reblogs. XD XD I first saw it last night after midnight... maybe we should not Internet on sleep deprivation
2. Yes basically that's my modus operandi too. I also think that authors change their minds on smaller details or they realise they jumped the gun revealing something too soon or they fucking suck at timelines. Also it's sometimes easier to be wishy-washy ('early twenties') because sometimes viewers/readers ask difficult questions or questions that need a complicated answer so you just go wow, that's a great question,
lol.
3. Oh you're correct. You're very correct, Cinder is Ruby's shadow the way Winter is Weiss' so of course their age-thing lines up, that makes perfect sense, especially because all of the Maidens are/will be the main four's Shadows. (Not entirely set on what the Maidens being the Shadows means thematically. The moral challenge to the ego, but why that idea embedded in the magic? Is there some idea about magic being explored there? It's a great way to offset the main four not having the powers though, because it's symbolically part of them that does and carries that for them, but then in a story they ARE actually different characters).
I also think there's something sad about Winter in that she was fast-tracked to be the Winter Maiden and was hand-selected early in her career, so she's also similar to Cinder in this respect. Much older in behaviour but really younger. In Winter's case though she had a humanising friendship with Penny.
But yeah, I would stick that into a Ruby and Cinder post. Then we need to make a Ruby and Cinder masterpost lol.
Hope you had a good holiday and Happy New Year! <3
2 notes · View notes
mejomonster · 2 years
Text
almost dying was like. god id do anything just to not puke nonstop and get a break from nausea. would do anything just to type again and watch a show and manage a conversation 
now its like. yes im grateful god im so grateful im so happy im not like that anymore and not in the er once a week. but also its like. well now i fucking miss dancing that i used to do everyday before this. or taking a walk around my block. or the energy to have a movie night with my nieces. or the energy to study a language again. like... just to do anything beyond day to day stuff. and i Know im getting ahead of myself. because like fuck i cant actually DO all of my daily life stuff yet anyway. still can barely do 1 chore a week still dizzy when i stand still cant sit up for work without hour long breaks laying down to re-build stamina for another goddamn attempt at doing computer work. still get absolutely wrecked if i try to put in the energy for a video game for an hour. a shower is still absolutely benching me for the rest of a day, im doing everything i can to avoid grocery shopping cause that is also benching me for a whole day so no work no friends no hobbies that day ahahah. still too exhausted to fucking cook and pushing myself to get up and prepare food like the basic minimum of microwaving or opening up a can cause my energy levels just screaming at me to sleep and rest and that getting up isn’t worth it. but i Gotta make myself eat, gotta make myself take my meds 2 times a day, if i wanna keep any of the health progress i made.
like. about 5 weeks ago now i had ONE good week. it wasn’t my normal energy level from before lol! but it was like 7/10 my normal energy! i had just enough energy to sit up for 4 hour bursts at work with lunch as my break, enough to dance OR play a video game or have a friend over or walk the neighborhood as the ‘exerting task’ after work without it making me useless the next day. then after that 1ish week bam back to 3/10 of normal energy levels. i thought maybe some supplement was helping but i tried all the various supplements i’d been using since, in the past 5 weeks, and nothing gave me that energy again. yeah even that week i didnt have energy to like do my old normal range of activities or chores but at least work was manageable and i could do at least 1 of my old normal hobbies a day. versus now this week where i am trying to figure out how to keep my job again since fmla ran out a while back but i absolutely can’t do 8 hour days i keep collapsing then waking up then working until like 6-8 pm cause i can’t get my work done in the regular 8 hours then i feel exhausted and just want to rest and make myself eat then its rest time :c. had 3 panic attacks this past week just cause i cant physically do this man. im not even pushing myself to do anything close to my normal range of activity im just trying to do maintenance ‘must do to keep job and keep eating’ tasks and im failing to handle them all. wooh. i desperately wanna get a higher energy level and have no idea how man. i wanna know why i had that 1 good week and if thats possible to achieve again.
like. and none of this is covering the stuff i miss and know is unreachable for a fucking while. i miss being able to HIKE, to go window shopping with a friend, to go to some place to hang out, to drive reliably to somewhere over 20 minutes away, to have energy to fucking see all my friends again to have energy to wear makeup and dress up to have energy to travel and see loved ones like. to have energy to learn new things again. goddamn u know... all the goals where u improve stuff, where u grow or build muscle or learn something or get to socialize. im way too wiped to do any of that, even when i was level 7/10 that one good week i was too wiped for any of that. 
i know i gotta be happy im not dying anymore. and i am. i dont wanna do that ever again. i dont want it to ever last so long again. but im so frustrated im still so sick and no one is telling me WHY or WHAT the fuck im sick for, or if it will ever get better, or if i can do ANYTHING. ive been seeing doctors, alternative medicine, looking up supplements and over the counter shit, looking into fucking anything to help myself but im not a doctor i have no idea im just throwing myself into things hoping something helps me and im so fucking exhausted. and the people who are supposed to help me have so far kept saying ‘well unless ur dying again/get even worse and have to go to ER again’ we don’t want to see u, we have no idea whats wrong, good luck, we hope u will simply improve in a while.’ in fact even if i get worse again, unless its new symptoms they’re pretty much all ‘well that sucks we tested everything we know, good luck! hopefully u improve, either way our meds will keep u alive in combo with the ER so just deal with it.’ 
u know. and all this combined with every fucking time. i spend energy trying to figure out how to help my own health, or try to get a doctor to help me. is energy i no longer have for work to keep my job and health insurance i need for the meds keeping me stable and out of hospital. is energy i dont have for daily life maintenance or anything else. im so exhausted im so exhausted 
1 note · View note
ggukcangetit · 4 years
Text
Dreamcatchers 6
Tumblr media
Pairing: jungkook x oc
Summary: DI Jeon didn’t need a new partner. Unfortunately, his superiors felt otherwise; especially considering the extremely high-profile murder that had just taken place in the port city. Recent transfer, DI Choi Yuri finds herself confronted with a new cityscape, unfamiliar people, a hostile partner, and a homicide that is certain to bring back unpleasant memories.  
Genre/AU: fluff/action/mystery | detective! au | police!jungkook, police!oc
Word Count: 5.2k
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: mentions of violence, alcohol, blood, drugs, death. basically stuff you’d associate with a murder mystery/crime drama.
Chapters 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 
A/N:  it’s been a while since i posted and even longer since i updated this fic but its still here and so am i! lol. updates are not gonna be very frequent but i have a list of works in progress that i plan to finish so there will be something or the other being posted at the most random moments.
also, reminding everyone that this story features a named oc because i’m still very unfamiliar with writing second person reader inserts. i’m not aiming for strict accuracy in this story, and all criminal investigation/forensics knowledge i have has been gathered by watching crime drama/procedural dramas! my knowledge of geography is also not totally accurate so apologies for that. once again, one thing right by @hobios​ prompted me to write a police inspector! jungkook story. would highly recommend reading that because it’s probably one of my most favorite pieces of writing!
Tumblr media
21st December
"Is this how you conduct a sample analysis?! Where did you even train? I've half a mind to report you and get you kicked out!!"
Yuri stopped at her desk, surprised to hear Seulgi's yelling so loudly that she could be heard all the way from the floor above. She was usually extremely calm and even-tempered, but the past couple of days had seen her irritable, snappy, and downright furious.
"Dr. Ahn sounds really angry," whispered Jisoo, clutching a file close to her chest. "I've never heard her yell at anybody before. I hope she's okay."
"I'm sure everything's fine," said Jeon, walking over to his desk and dropping a bunch of files on it. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
Yuri raised an eyebrow at him, but complied nonetheless. They walked outside, standing near a clump of trees outside of earshot of anyone in the station.
"Guess who I've just brought in on suspicion of murder for the 2nd Nov case?" he asked, lowering his voice.
"No!" gasped Yuri. "Minhyuk?"
"Yep. He's been in the country for a while now. Fancy giving me a hand with the interview?"
"Me? I mean," she bit her lip. "I wasn't part of the original investigation."
"I know, but in light of what you've found out and the fact that you're now my partner, Goh thinks it's okay."
"You told Goh?!"
"I had to. I can't restart the investigation without his permission."
Jeon stared at her for a few moments, trying to gauge her reaction. "So, what do you say?"
"Alright. Let's nail this bastard."
Tumblr media
Ahreum was late. She had a meeting with one of her professors to decide on which medical stream she'd specialize in. Despite using forensics as an excuse to distract Seulgi, she was seriously considering it now. Deciding to pursue medicine had been a drastic career switch for Ahreum, and a lot of people had questioned her decision relentlessly. But if there was something she had learnt in the years following her parents' divorce, it was patience and the ability to block out irrelevant conversations. Namjoon had always been immersed in his studies, barely affected by the bitterness existing between their parents. Ahreum, barely in high school, felt lost and helpless during those times. After the divorce, things had become less tumultuous and she was able to see her parents as individual entities. That was when she realized that her father was never going to like any of her decisions, no matter how hard she tried to please him, and her mother preferred to stay aloof at the best of times. Ahreum learnt pretty early in life, that she needed to be there for herself. She loved her brother and parents, though the latter a lot less than the former. Her decision to study English Literature and Creative Writing had been a spur of the moment one - dictated more by the fact that her high school boyfriend was going to study at a major Arts university. She didn't really regret any of her decisions. Her degree had led her to finding a hobby she adored - photography. And having a freelance job meant that she could stay with Namjoon - who earned a significantly larger amount than her - and move whenever he needed to move as well. This was also how she had met Taehyung 3 years ago - a happy coincidence of events when she had been taking pictures outside the museum at Seoul. They had started talking about art and photography, eventually realizing that they lived in the same part of the city. In addition to Yuri, she also considered Taehyung to be her best friend. She had seen him during one of his lowest moments when Seokjin had left home; and then some time later when he had found Seokjin living in the town Ahreum and Namjoon had recently shifted to, she had stayed by him as he grappled with his anger and frustration towards his older brother until an eventual reconciliation.
But at this moment, she was beginning to lose patience with him. Five minutes before she was about to leave for her meeting, she received a bunch of frantic texts from him.
8.25 am
T: ahreum?? are u up??
T: jimins still in custody
T: im so worried
8.26 am
T: u there?
T: i want to visit him...
T: will u come with me?
8.27 am
T: hey
T: ???
T: i didnt sleep much so i dont wanna drive there
8.28 am
T: are u sleeping?
T: ???
He knew she had a meeting today. He knew how important the meeting was for her. She had spoken about it many times. Not for the first time, Ahreum wondered whether Taehyung cared about her beyond what directly concerned him. If it wasn't somehow relevant to him, he never seemed to remember much. It was a careless apathy that had hurt her during the beginning of their friendship, but she had accepted it as a part of him.
Her meeting was at 9 am and she usually needed 20 minutes to get there on her bike. She closed her eyes and mentally rehearsed the points she was going to bring up during her meeting. Her phone pinged once more, breaking her concentration.
8.30 am
T: hey
T: can u pick me up?
She frowned and shot a quick text before pocketing her phone and strapping on her helmet.
A: sorry have a meeting... talk later
As Ahreum sped through the narrow lanes, she was convinced that there was no way she was going to talk to Taehyung today. He would have to manage on his own for once.
Tumblr media
Yuri and Jeon sat across from a very nervous Park Minhyuk, his bloodshot eyes indicating that he had been brought in after a rough night.
"Good morning." Jeon began the interview, his notes stacked neatly in front of him. "You were very hard to get a hold of, Mr. Park. Specifically because your company categorically states that you've been out of the country for business."
"I-" His face was white as a sheet.
"When we called your office, we were told that you are often out of the country on business trips. Short trips," Jeon flipped through his notes. "A fortnight, 20 days at max. Your secretary was very obliging - he told us that you traveled on October 12th and returned on October 27th. Then left the country again on November 1st and returned on November 16th. Another trip between November 22nd and December 6th. And finally, one more on December 10th from which you still haven't returned."
"Your phone records are very interesting, Mr. Park," said Yuri, joining in. "I'm DI Choi, by the way, and I will be assisting DI Jeon as his partner on the case. Now -" she opened the file in front of her and took out a particular page - "is this your cell phone number?"
"Yes, but-"
"Our Telecomms division looked over recent activity over the last 3-4 months. While your office confirms that you have been on multiple trips out of the country from October onwards, your phone has been operating in Korea for almost two months. Can you tell us why?"
Minhyuk remained silent, his hands clenched on the table.
"Do you recognize this?" Yuri placed a plastic bag on the table and moved it towards him.
The remaining color drained from Minhyuk's face as he stared at the ring inside the plastic bag.
"Let me help you out, Mr. Park," she continued. "This is an heirloom from your mother's side of the family. There was three such rings - one buried with your mother, one on your brother's finger, and one found at the scene of Son Eunbi's murder. Can you tell us how your ring found its way to a murder scene?"
"I didn't kill her!" Minhyuk looked like he was going to pass out. Jeon poured some water into a glass and passed it to him.
"She was dead when I got there!" he said after gulping down the water. His hands were shaking by this point.
"If she was dead when you got there, why didn't you call the police?"
"I..."
Faced with a possible murder charge, Minhyuk looked frightened but not nearly as forthcoming with an alibi as one would have hoped.
"Mr. Park," Yuri spoke after a period of silence. "Did you know that Ms. Son had a three year old daughter named Gina?"
Minhyuk gulped, his eyes breaking contact with hers. He removed his hands from where they had been clenched on the table, choosing to hide them in his lap.
"Are you Gina's father?" she continued. Minhyuk head shot up at her question.
"H-how did-"
"When did you find out?" she asked.
Minhyuk sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I guess there's no point in denying it since you know everything." He reached out and finished the remaining water in the glass. "In October, after I came back from a trip, I happened to meet her by chance and Gina was with her. It was odd, the way that she tried to avoid talking to me. And the fact that Gina also had clear grey eyes."
For the first time since the interview started, Yuri realised the resemblance between the Park brothers was limited but striking. Their eyes were the exact same shade of grey - while Jimin looked cold and unwelcoming, Minhyuk's glasses did well to give him a warmer appearance.
"I asked her why she hadn't contacted me when she got pregnant. Or in the three years since Gina was born."
"What did she say?" asked Yuri, softly.
"She was scared that I wouldn't believe her." Tears had started to roll down his cheeks. "I loved her... so much. And then she just disappeared one day. I tried so hard to find her but..."
Jeon poured another glass of water for him.
"I told her how happy I was to hear about Gina. That I wanted us to be a proper family. I was willing to do whatever was necessary if that's what she wanted as well. I think she was beginning to warm up to the idea. I even told my father to postpone my next trip so that I could spend a little more time with both of them. But-"
"But?"
Minhyuk stared at his hands, looking tired and dejected. "He - uh, he wasn't happy when he heard about Gina. My father has very particular expectations."
"What did he say to you? Did he threaten you, Mr. Park?"
Minhyuk let out a soft chuckle. "My father doesn't threaten. He suggests."
"And what did he suggest you do about Gina and Eunbi?" asked Jeon.
"That I stay away from them. For the sake of my inheritance."
"And did you?"
"I was planning to... I-I was meant to travel the next day and I thought I would go and see her once more before I left. But when I got there..."
Minhyuk covered his face with his hands, taking deep breaths to try and calm himself.
"What happened when you got there, Mr. Park?"
"She was lying there... in a pool of blood. Gina was asleep in the back. I-I didn't kill her. You have to believe me."
Yuri and Jeon exchanged a quick look as Minhyuk protested his innocence. They were aware that the homeless man had killed Son Eunbi. The DNA found at the crime scene confirmed the fact that he had stabbed her. But they needed Minhyuk to give them as much information as possible.
"I'm afraid we do not conduct our investigations based on belief, Mr. Park," continued Yuri, shuffling her notes meaningfully. "You still haven't provided us with an alibi for that night. Strange thing - the Park family seem to have a particular aversion towards providing alibis. Your brother was also extremely resistant when we spoke to him."
"You spoke to Jimin? What for?" Minhyuk's expression had changed completely. He looked strangely alert.
"I guess you aren't aware that Jimin was arrested for the murder of Kang Eunwoo on December 15th." Jeon spoke deliberately, hoping to elicit a reaction. And he was successful.
"What?! That's impossible! There's no way he could've done that!"
"Why are you so certain of that?"
"Because he was with me on December 15th!"
"I'm sorry but we can't take you at your word. You can't even provide a proper alibi for yourself on the night of Son Eunbi's murder. How can we be sure that the two of you aren't just covering up for each other?"
It was then that Minhyuk realised that he would need to come clean. There was no way to save Jimin without telling them the entire story.
"Fine," he sighed. "I'll tell you everything."
"Everything?"
"Yes. If it can help Jimin, I'm willing to risk my father finding out."
Yuri glanced at Jeon who gave her an almost imperceptible nod.
"Go on."
"After I saw Eunbi... lying there, I couldn't leave Gina. No matter what my father had said, I couldn't leave my daughter in such a situation. So I... took her away with me."
"Where is Gina now, Mr. Park?" Yuri asked, frowning.
"She's safe."
"Where is she?" asked Jeon, sharply.
"In Busan. I have an apartment there and she's been with me since that day."
"Why didn't you tell the police that you had her? Why does your company believe that you are abroad on a business trip?"
Minhyuk rubbed his eyes tiredly and drank some more water. "I couldn't let my father find out. Jimin and I have an apartment in Busan that we bought under a different name. It was a place our father couldn't find us. Gina's been staying there with me since 2nd November."
"Are you sure your father thinks you're abroad? It doesn't seem like something easy to cover up."
"Jimin helped with that," said Minhyuk, leaning back into the cold metal chair. "He told father that I had run away because he hadn't been understanding of my situation with Gina and Eunbi. Jimin's good at convincing people - it's a talent he's barely ever put to good use."
"So Jimin knew that you were hiding in a secret apartment with your recently discovered daughter?"
"Yes, he did. I have an alibi for 2nd November. I was in a meeting till 9 pm and then stopped for drinks at a nearby fried chicken place till 11 pm. I was a bit tipsy after that, which is why I decided to visit Eunbi and Gina. After taking Gina away from there, I went to Jimin's place, got the keys to the apartment and drove straight there. I think I reached around 2 am."
Yuri jotted down all this information, making a note to check on every new detail that had been mentioned.
"What about December 15th? You said Jimin was with you. Why?" asked Jeon, folding his arms across his chest.
"We meet once a week to make sure everything is going okay," said Minhyuk, pinching the bridge of his nose tiredly. "Sundays are usually the best days for that."
"Where did you meet?"
"At the local ice-cream shop," Minhyuk frowned, trying to remember something. "You know the one near the end of town?"
"The Dairy Berry? Yes, I know which one you're talking about." Jeon gave Yuri a brief nod to confirm that this was a legitimate spot and not something Minhyuk was making up on the spot.
"Gina loves sweet things and I thought it would be easier to take her with me the same day I met Jimin. I think we were there till 10 pm. After that, I dropped Jimin at a bar and drove back home."
"Which bar was this?" asked Yuri.
"Sunset."
"And you drove straight home after that?"
"You can check the dash cam on my car and the security tapes at my apartment building, if you want."
"We definitely will, Mr. Park," said Jeon, surveying him carefully. "In the meantime, you will be in custody until we have verified each and every single thing you just told us. So I suggest you keep yourself hydrated."
Tumblr media
Yuri could feel a pair of eyes on her as she spoke to Jisoo and Suho.
"We need to verify everything that Park Minhyuk told us. But there's a lot of ground to cover and we've lost quite a bit of time since the murder of Son Eunbi. So I suggest you recruit some uniformed officers as well." Jisoo jotted down the locations and the times they needed to verify, and nodded to Suho to indicate she had forwarded the details to him. "We need to get the information as soon as possible."
"Will do," said Suho, giving her a reassuring nod.
Yuri waited for them to leave before walking over to the person who had been watching her for a while.
"Did you want to talk about something?" she asked Seulgi.
"I-" Seulgi tugged at her sleek, high ponytail, looking oddly hesitant. She seemed in a better mood than earlier in the morning when she had almost scared one of the interns into leaving the country. "Do you have a minute?"
"Yeah- " Yuri checked the clock on her phone - "just a minute though. I'm waiting for Jeon to get a warrant from Goh."
"Did he-? I mean, Jimin, uh... have you...? You know-" It was strange to see her grappling for words. "Are you certain he's done it?"
Yuri stared at her for a second. This wasn't what she had been expecting Seulgi to talk about. The doctor's relationship with Jimin was even more puzzling than she had originally perceived it.
"We're looking into it right now." She paused, trying to gauge Seulgi's reaction. "But you already know about the blood sample match - that, in itself, is pretty damaging."
"Y-yeah, I know."
Before Yuri could say anything more, Jeon came out of the Chief Inspector's office. "We've got a warrant to search Minhyuk's apartment. Let's go."
Glancing one more time at Seulgi's ashen face, Yuri put on her coat and scarf and followed Jeon out the exit.
Once inside Jeon's car, Yuri debated whether or not she should attempt to engage him in conversation. Her decision was made for her when he drove onto the main road, and lowered the volume of the police scanner.
"What was Seulgi saying?" he asked, his eyes focused on the road.
"Just where we were in the investigation."
"I see."
Yuri fiddled with the button on her coat, itching to say more.
"What's the deal with her and Jimin?" she finally asked.
"I- what do you mean?" Jeon raised his eyebrow and gave her the most puzzled expression he could muster while trying to stay focused on the crazy traffic.
"Their relationship is... weird. He keeps flirting with her, and she is on the verge of ripping his guts out at every given moment. But just now, she seemed almost worried about him."
"I don't really know... they've never really seen eye-to-eye on much." Jeon checked the rear view mirror to make sure he was clear before deftly changing lanes. "Jimin has always been the person who tries his utmost to push everyone's buttons. And Seulgi... well, she has a lot of buttons."
Yuri snorted loudly. "That tells me nothing and everything at the same time. You really have a way with words, Jeon."
He smirked at this, his eyes never leaving the road. "So does that mean you trust me now?"
"No." She looked at him and caught the way his face fell slightly at her response. "But who knows what the future holds..."
The smirk was back.
Tumblr media
Ahreum had a terrible headache. She usually didn't get many headaches. So on the rare occasion that she did, it put her in a really terrible mood. The only person who knew how to handle this situation properly was Namjoon. He knew that she needed silence, dim lighting, green tea, fresh bread, and absolutely no unexpected company.
So when Ahreum got home after her grueling 3 hour long meeting, hoping to relax and recuperate, she wasn't too pleased to find Taehyung sitting in her living room, playing a very loud game on his tablet.
"You're back!" he yelled, once she slammed the door to make her presence felt. "I've been waiting for hours. How was your meeting?"
"'S okay," she replied, shortly. Taking off her coat, she opened the middle cabinet in the kitchen and searched for the green tea.
"Great! So do you wanna go and visit Jimin now?"
"No."
"What? Why not? You don't have anything else to do right now. Just come with me. Please!" He had walked into the kitchen and was standing in front of her with a pout on his lips.
As endearing as she always found his antics, Ahreum was at breaking point. She placed the cup on the counter with a loud clink, and turned to face him.
"Because I don't have time to follow you on your every whim, Taehyung. Because I have a life of my own. Because I am studying medicine, which, if you aren't aware, is a very taxing occupation." She paused for a breath, as his mouth fell open in shock. "Because I am not your babysitter. Or your handler. Or your caretaker. And I'm tired of being responsible for you. You're a grown ass adult and it's about time you acted like one."
"Ahreum, I'm-" His eyes were wide and worried, and she felt a tiny sliver of remorse. "I don't think you're my babysitter or handler or whatever. You're my best friend."
"I thought so too. In fact," she said, looking away from him. "I thought we were, or we could be, more."
"W-what? Ahreum?" Taehyung sounded so lost and confused that she was tempted to console him.
She walked to the front door and held it open for him. "I think you should leave now. I'm tired, I have a headache, and I don't want to be around anyone right now."
"Wait! What did you mean by that?" he asked, hesitantly standing at the entrance.
"I'm tired, Taehyung. I don't have the energy to explain everything to you. Now, please," she began closing the door slowly. "I want to rest."
Tumblr media
"It's clear!" The uniformed officer confirmed to them, before opening the door further.
"Okay, let's see whether little Gina is here," instructed Jeon, his face drawn into a frown.
Yuri nodded and walked into the room on the left of the large living area. It was a study of sorts, with a large wooden desk, a swiveling chair, and shelves upon shelves of books. She quickly checked to see if there was anyone in the room before shouting "clear!". There was another door connecting to a smaller room, it's walls bathed in bright sunlight and smelling of soft lavender. This was clearly some sort of guest room, judging by the inconsistent decor theme. The furniture looked sleek and modern, but the sheets on the bed were soft and pastel colored. A bunch of soft toys stood leaning against the flat screen tv, and Yuri realised that this was probably the room that had been hastily fixed up for a small child's unexpected stay. And sure enough, soft strands of brown hair peaked through the large covers on the bed.
She walked over to the bed slowly, not wanting to startle the child. Yuri barely managed to stifle a gasp as she looked into the child's clear grey eyes - the same color as both Park Minhyuk and Park Jimin.
"Hello," she said, softly. "Are you Gina?"
The little girl nodded, bringing the covers closer towards her.
"I'm a police officer. I help catch bad people." She didn't respond, staring at her with wide eyes.
"Do you want to go to your dad, Gina?" She nodded vigorously, sitting up at the mention of her father. "Okay, we will. But first, tell me, are you okay? Do you feel pain anywhere?"
The little girl shook her head.
"Are you sleepy?"
Again, she shook her head.
"Are you hungry?"
Slowly, she nodded her head.
"Okay, we'll go and see your dad, and also get you something to eat. Is that okay with you?"
"Yes."
"Wonderful."
Tumblr media
It was just after 2 pm and Yuri felt completely drained. After they had found Gina, she had insisted on returning to the station to ask Jimin about his alibi for the night of Kang Eunwoo's murder. From what she had understood, he had refused to provide an alibi to protect his brother and keep him out of the police's radar until the situation with Gina worked out. Even though she still couldn't get herself to consider him a pleasant person, his desire to protect his brother had humanized him a great deal in her eyes.
Sure enough, once he was made aware that Minhyuk had come forward and spoken about his daughter and the events of the past month and a half, Jimin looked much less hostile than before.
"I was at Sunset from around 10.30 pm to closing time - which is 2 am," he said, sighing tiredly and rubbing his face with his hands. "You can confirm with them."
While Minhyuk and Jimin's alibis were verified, Yuri received a text from Namjoon, asking her and Jeon to meet him at Seokjin's bakery. It was barely a 2 minute drive there, so Jeon suggested they get lunch over there and make it before Goh finished compiling the list of paperwork for them to finish.
The smell of freshly baked milk bread wafted out of the kitchen, adding another layer of warmth to Seokjin's cozy shop. The man in question picked up the large tray filled with various different confections, and brought it over to the table by the window.
"Peach danish and americano for Namjoon, chocolate fudge brownie and vanilla bean ice cream for Jeongguk, and a snow croissant and hot chocolate for Yuri." He placed everything on the table, before grabbing his lukewarm cup of tea and sitting down with them.
"So you finally find the child, then?" asked Seokjin, sipping the tea. He made a face at the odd taste that tea acquires when it's between comfortingly steamy and soothingly chilled.
"Yeah we did," Yuri replied, when her partner remained silent. "Goh is dealing with Minhyuk and the custody charges. It's no longer in our jurisdiction."
"Namjoon, how's grad school treating you?" Seokjin diverted the conversation, realising that his friend wasn't ready to talk about the case at that moment. "How much longer do you have?"
"A few more months and I should be done." Namjoon wiped the pastry flakes from the corner of his mouth and nearly tipped over his americano in the process. Yuri chuckled at this, suddenly remembering those random moments in high school where Namjoon was a lot thinner and less confident, but still had a propensity for knocking things over.
"Remind me why you're putting yourself through this?" Seokjin broke off a piece of the peach danish and popped it into his mouth.
"The last time I tried to explain that, you spaced out and created a new pastry recipe for your menu. As much as I like helping your business flourish, I'm gonna preserve my energy and only talk about things when necessary."
Seokjin chuckled and picked up a spoon from the dispenser. "Jeongguk, can I get a bit of ice cream from you?" There was no response, and looking at him for confirmation Seokjin's eyebrows shot up in alarm.
"Okay okay, I won't eat any of your ice cream. You don't have to tear up about it!"
Yuri and Namjoon turned towards him as well, not sure what to do when they saw tears slowly sliding down Jeongguk's cheeks.
"Are you okay? What's wrong?" asked Namjoon, patting his shoulder softly.
They sat in silence, as Jeongguk sobbed softly and wiped his face with his coat sleeve. He turned towards Yuri, his eyes glazed with tears but holding a soft radiance unlike what she was used to.
"Thank you."
Yuri felt her face heat up suddenly. This wasn't what she had been expecting. The soft sincerity in his voice startled her. It was nothing like the person she had met only a week ago. She looked away abruptly and nodded her head.
"There's nothing to thank me for. This is our job."
Jeongguk smiled and resumed eating the disgustingly sweet dessert combination in front of him. He nudged Seokjin to take some ice cream like he had originally intended. There was silence once more, but this time, it was very different.
Tumblr media
Back at the station, Yuri finished the paperwork for the day. There was a lot to complete, and since they had stopped at Seokjin's for a break, they had lost some time as well. Goh had been very clear about completing all the paperwork for social services to take over the case from them now that Gina had been found.
It was barely even 5 pm but Yuri felt a large yawn coming on for the third time in the past few minutes. She wasn't sure how long she would be able to carry on without getting proper sleep at night. At this rate, she would eventually burn out. There was only so much coffee could do for her.
A light tap brought her attention to another person standing in her cubicle. She looked up to see Jeon holding two steaming cups of ramen, tilting his head slightly to confirm whether it was okay for him to sit down.
"Did you need anything?" she asked, after moving her slightly. He placed the ramen on her desk and pulled up his own chair and sat down.
"I've got a peace offering," he gestured to the ramen. "I wanted to apologize properly for being an absolute dickhead to you. I-" He hesitated, looking down at his hands that lay clenched on his lap - "I don't really have an excuse for my behavior but I had a lot on my mind. Particularly about finding the little girl. And, well... you really don't know what solving this case means to me."
Once again, Yuri wasn't sure how to react. She felt embarrassed that he was thanking her for doing her job - something that he did as well. While she appreciated his apology, his entire being remained confusing to her.
"Don't worry about it," she said, waving her hand dismissively. "And thanks for the ramen; food is always appreciated."
Thankfully, her computer ping-ed with a new email before the atmosphere could get any more awkward.
"Okay, we've confirmed Minhyuk's alibi's for 2nd November and 15th December. He wasn't involved in either murder. Jimin was with Minhyuk till 10.15 pm on 15th December - his car's dash cam confirms that he dropped Jimin off at Sunset bar around that time."
"Fantastic! And what about the CCTV footage at Sunset? Does it confirm Jimin's story? He said he was there till 2 am."
"Hang on, I'm opening the report. Th-" she stopped abruptly, frowning at the screen.
"What?" asked Jeon, looking over her shoulder to read the email.
"CCTV footage does not place Jimin at Sunset from 10.15 pm till closing time at 2 in the morning. He doesn't have an alibi for Eunwoo's murder."
She turned to look at him, an odd sense of foreboding hitting her as she realized that they would have to charge Jimin for murder by the next evening. He held her gaze, his dark eyes reflecting a similar shadow of doubt.
Tumblr media
please reblog and leave a comment if you liked this part! thank you! 😊 
57 notes · View notes
theycallmegothboy · 3 years
Note
1-100 >:DDDD REVENGE!!!
FELIXXXXXXXXXXXX >:(( 1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?  -spotify  2. is your room messy or clean? -it’s pretty messy i guess  3. what color are your eyes? -blue and grey
4. do you like your name? why? -yeah it’s fine 5. what is your relationship status? -single 6. describe your personality in 3 words or less -certified intrusive thot 7. what color hair do you have? -brown and rn it’s red 8. what kind of car do you drive? color? -i dont have a car 9. where do you shop? -hot topic, goodwill, target 10. how would you describe your style? -comfy emo 11. favorite social media account -of mine, probably discord or youtube 12. what size bed do you have? -twin >:(( 13. any siblings? -i have 1.5 brothers  14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? -probably vancouver, idk canada seems lit 15. favorite snapchat filter? -i like the one with devil horns and a tail but its cute 16. favorite makeup brand(s) -i dont wear makeup 17. how many times a week do you shower? -i used to shower every day, but i dont do anything that gets me dirty so like maybe 3 times but if i leave the house then i shower 18. favorite tv show? -stranger things 19. shoe size?  -8 or 9 20. how tall are you? -5′6 with shoes >:(( 21. sandals or sneakers? -sneakers wtf 22. do you go to the gym? -lol no 23. describe your dream date -making some pie or something together and then eating the pie and then sitting on some rooftop looking at stars 24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? -quite a bit actually but i’m saving up for a phone lol so soon it will be like maybe 10 dollars lmao 25. what color socks are you wearing? -not wearing socks but the ones i had earlier were white (ankle length) 26. how many pillows do you sleep with? -just one but it sucks 27. do you have a job? what do you do? -NO BUT IM TRYING TO GET A JOB BUT THE FUCKIN PEOPLE THERE ARE GHOSTING ME AND WONT REPLY TO MY EMAILS SO LIKE SBJHBJS 28. how many friends do you have? -like 4 lmao 29. whats the worst thing you have ever done? -idk nothing super bad but i do a lot of small shit that makes me feel guilty when i realize what i did 30. whats your favorite candle scent? -juniper rosewood 31. 3 favorite boy names -leo, clay, charlie 32. 3 favorite girl names -ivy, uh... idk thats all ive got 33. favorite actor? -no clue 34. favorite actress? -no clue 35. who is your celebrity crush? -not a celeb but i’d smash danny phantom 36. favorite movie? -nightmare before christmas or edward scissorhands 37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? -no, but my fav book is probably the prince and the pauper? idk 38. money or brains? -CASH MONEYYYY jk probably brains but if your entire personality is being “smart” like fuck off lmao   39. do you have a nickname? what is it? - a bunch of people call me son (see #49, #100), some call me rat, dumdum, goth boy
40.how many times have you been to the hospital? -just once i think when i was birthed. i also went once with my brother cause he kicked some scissors i left out on the floor and it sliced his toe the fuck open and he needed stitches and i watched him get the stitches and almost passed out :/ 41. top 10 favorite songs -please dont make me do this i dont have it in me 42. do you take any medications daily? -yea i take 20mg of vyvanse but i need to get it raised to 30 cause 20 is Not Enough 43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) -i got some dry fuckin skin yall dont even know 44. what is your biggest fear?  -it depends. the dark is a pretty constant one though 45. how many kids do you want? -like 2 or 3 eventually 46. whats your go to hair style? -in my face, looking stupid 47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)  -it’s pretty small 48. who is your role model? -i dont fuckin know lmao  49. what was the last compliment you received? - “i belive in you, my son, you’re an amazing human being“ (same friend mentioned in #100, not actually a parent of mine) 50. what was the last text you sent? -”no it’s a raccoon“ YOU GET NO CONTEXT LMAO 51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? -i dont think i ever hardcore believed in him, maybe i did though i remember sleeping under the tree one christmas eve waiting for him but i was like “oh yeah that makes sense“ i guess 52. what is your dream car?  -i honestly dont give a shit as long as it actually fucking works 53. opinion on smoking? -cigarettes? fuck no that’s nastyyy. weed? that’s fine i guess but wait till you’re like 18.  54. do you go to college? -no. am sophomore n highschool 55. what is your dream job?  -musician/palentologist 56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?  -fuck the suburbs lmao, but also im tired of rural, so like.. semi urban?? 57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?  -no but i take the little soaps >:)) 58. do you have freckles?  -yes 59. do you smile for pictures? -awkwardly, yes 60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?  -dont have a phone but i have like 12 on my computer currently. 4 are of me, the rest are of my cat or random shit 61. have you ever peed in the woods?  -yes 62. do you still watch cartoons?  -cartoons these days kinda suck but like if they were good fuck yeah i would like gravity falls can come hang yknow? 63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? -i had nuggets from mcdonalds today so i guess them? i dont really care 64. Favorite dipping sauce?  -i got sweet and sour but i dont like it that much. that schezuan sauce was great 65. what do you wear to bed?  -wouldnt you like to know? ;))  66. have you ever won a spelling bee?  -NO ive only been in two. the first one i misspelled the word “turmoil“ cause i had never heard it before and the second one i spelled the word “owed“ as “ode“ cause i was thinking like ode to joy and then i felt like a big Fool afterwards :(( 67. what are your hobbies? -lol what hobbies 68. can you draw?  -i am physically able to draw, but not well, no 69 (haha). do you play an instrument? -yeah i play a few 70. what was the last concert you saw?  -i saw Chicago in either georgia or tennessee i cant remember in like 2016 71. tea or coffee? -hot coffee, iced tea. NOT the other way around. (i love both though) 72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? -starbucks 73. do you want to get married? -sure why not 74. what is your crush’s first and last initial? -dont have a crush 75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?  -idk maybe 76. what color looks best on you?  -i dont know but i wear black a lot and that’s pretty dope 77. do you miss anyone right now? -yeah  78. do you sleep with your door open or closed? -closed 79. do you believe in ghosts? -on the fence. not 100% “oh my god look at these gHoSt oRbS i need to sage my house!!!“ but i accept that there’s some things i wont understand about the world and that i have no answers to. i wouldnt be surprised if there are, and i wouldnt be surprised if there aren’t. 80. what is your biggest pet peeve? -whatever my adhd decides i viscerally hate with a firey passion right at that moment  81. last person you called -my brother (the 1 of the 1.5 from #13 and the one who sliced his toe in #40) 82. favorite ice cream flavor?  -chocolate is dope 83. regular oreos or golden oreos?  -regular double stuff. if you say golden, mint, peppermint, or thin oreos i’m gonna have to euthanize you, i dont make the rules.  84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? -rainbow cause it’s prettier  85. what shirt are you wearing?  -queen shirt from hot topic 86. what is your phone background? -i didnt get a phone between question 60 and now but my computer one is some mountains with the moon in the background 87. are you outgoing or shy? -really depends on who i’m around 88. do you like it when people play with your hair? -YES FUCK AAAAAAA (this girl played with my hair literally once in middle school and i was like oh shit and i had a crush on her until the end of middle school true story,,, so ashley if you’re out there-) 89. do you like your neighbors? -to the left they’re fine and their dog is nice but idk what happened to the horses so that’s sus but that’s where our cat came from so they can hang  guess, behind me they’re fine but their boys are loud, to the right they’re fine, and even further to the right are the dope neighbors and waaaaaaaaaay far to the right is a llama and he’s dope as hell 90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? -whenever the fuck i remember to/have the energy 91. have you ever been high?  -i dont think so but i wouldnt put it past myself 92. have you ever been drunk?  -not that i can remember, no 93. last thing you ate?  -sloppy joe from a can 94. favorite lyrics right now -”not gonna waste my life, cause i’ve been fucked up“ 95. summer or winter?  -fall. fuck you 96. day or night?  -night but i like it when it’s actually night and it doesnt get dark at like 4 fucking pm cause that makes me depressed 97. dark, milk, or white chocolate? -dark is good, milk is fine, white is only suitable for fancy stripes on chocolate covered strawberries 98. favorite month?  -i vibe with september 99. what is your zodiac sign -sagittarius (was almost a scorpio but i was holding out >:))) 100. who was the last person you cried in front of?  -in person, my mom like 6 months ago, on a discord call, my friend (i love you by the way, you’re the best,,, i dont think he has tumblr but im just putting it out there) like a month or so ago. i hate crying in front of people, i turn into such a hyperventilating snot monster which is not suitable for human gaze and thats the real tea :/
felix this took like 2 hours of my life i will never get back i hate you and i hope you’re happy with what you’ve done <3 <3
also anyone who wants to stalk me, enjoy this information that im handing to you on a silver platter :)) <3
3 notes · View notes
themidnightdisaster · 3 years
Text
Slurp's Nanowrimo Journal
Day 1 of Nano
Woah there i was able to write three chapter outlines and gave all my characters their own professions and some traits.
I'm being productive icb. Hoping to finish these chapters before the week ends.
Q1 : What was your first piece of writing?
Overall in literature I would say it's a script for the trailer we made during the 7th grade. *im cringing on grade 7 self fr*
Then in fiction novel, a university au with my classmates as characters I wasn't able to finish it though.
Day 2 of Nano
Was able to write only like 200 words to end the first scene bc i taught my sis for her modular classes.
: ( hope i can make it up tomorrow.
Q2 : What time of the day are you most likely to write? Why?
If it isn't curious with my username, during midnights. The only time of the day where everyone is asleep and my surroundings is peaceful as well. Kinda not healthy but yea, I've been used to it since the start of HS when I'm procrastinating with school tasks.
Day 3 of Nano
My days are alr late I havent realized lol.
So I wrote approximately 500 words last night (a record I guess) and I'm going out today so I have a chance to refresh my mind! Wearing masks ofc hehe.
Q3 : Do you plan or just go with the flow? Why?
With social media aus, I don't plan like not at all. With novels, I don't too but I at least write my ideas vaguely especially when I think it's so mindblowing!
I feel drained when planning traditionally for some reason no one would understand and that includes myself. Lmao.
But for this nano, I outlined my chapters and the vague idea dumps are still there. We'll see what will be the outcome.
Day 4 of Nano
I surprisingly broke a record again! I wrote 2184 words today yoohoo! And i think i finally found a 1 hour writing music for me and starting tom ill be using that. Another miracle, i wrote those in the afternoon so thats why im sleeping early today. How i wish silence like this happens everyday.
Q4: Is a word count important to you? Why or why not?
Yep! I like it when I see my progress through time and it motivates me. But like... word count in a chapter? I dont think its that important. Every novel is different. We all have our own ways.
Day 5 of Nano
I finished my chapter 1 by 5 am so i did nothing writing-related today. I started watching a web drama series and binge watched Chicago Med by night (im planning to find the full episodes)
Q5: What's your favourite writing snack/drink?
I usually go with water especially at midnight since im always thinking by that time, "oh my maybe i havent drink water earlier yet maybe i should drink today" and food? Whatever we have in here.
Day 6 of Nano
Was able to write 1/4 of the chapter, yet im not contented bc i wasnt able to reach the scene i wanted to write. Im worried that i would break the streak tomorrow bc classes are finally starting again. Maybe i would go by 500 words per day. This week. Ill try.
Q6: Do you have a favourite place to write? Do you change it up or write in the same place every time?
I just want somewhere silent and peaceful. At night, I just roam around the house and feel the vibe. During the first days of Nano, I'm on my bed. Now, I'm comfortable to write on my study table even during the day as long as I have my headphones on.
Day 7 of Nano
I fucking have no idea how come im super late in this when i started on nov 2. Eh. Weird.
Anyway, i almost got frustrated when at the 23rd hour of the day, i wrote only 500 words for the chapter 2.
So i skipped to chapter 4. Wrote a flashback as an intro and yea, got 1500 words! Unfortunately, didnt add up for nov 9. So its for today.
Q7: Who is your favourite author?
Well, it's a local author from wattpad. Serialsleeper. She's the only author whom I will read everything whatever she writes! Her mindblowing plot twists, the humor, the characters. I love the way she builds up every character she makes, she makes everything relatable even when her forte is horror slasher! One of my unfinished works is inspired by one of her books. How I wish her books gets translated so she can also gain fame worldwide. She deserves it.
Day 8 of Nano
I didnt write anything for today (yea thanks to the bunch of modules for my sis) but im writing atm. Yea. Im writing on my birthday. What about it?
Q8: What is your favourite book?
This is hard... i dont have anything in particular. Like that all time fave. I love all the books ive read in their own ways.
Day 9 of Nano
So this is the day i literally wrote nothing. went out for lunch in a faraway place, had a celebration when we got home, and watched the half of sonic the hedgehog movie. We got some visitors sleeping over here too so i really wasnt able to write anything. We have no classes tomorrow so i hope i can make up.
Q9: What is the premise of your current project?
The nano one? So, it's a film maker who is making an attempt to reunite her old crew from College to join a film festival in their place. Ok its sound so boring yea but the thing is... it wont be easy for her. Why? Well, she left them hanging after the tragedy she herself made.
Day 10 of Nano
Welp im three days late. This is so bad. Today. Nov 13 i started writing again. And... i want to survive this chapter today !!!!
Q10: What is your favourite genre to write? Why?
Slice of life? That's where I relate to. Friendships, to be exact. A romance story that only not focuses on the romance itself, but also the characters' friendship with others. That's where I guess, comfortable writing about. I got the experience, I got hurt because of friendships too. So there.
Permanent Note : came across this amazing idea by @emotionalfig that i will be answering in the every day! Yay, go try it too!
4 notes · View notes
starryknightace · 4 years
Text
I had Top Surgery! (Post Op 1 1/2 Weeks pics)
[[MORE]]
Suprise! I had top surgery almost 2 weeks ago. It was a bit of a process to get to that point and i was literally counting down the hours til i went under. I kept joking to people i was most excited about my "induced 4 hour nap" more than anything. I got to my day surgery clinic early in the morning, to which i got changed into scrubs, was told to wait under a blanket to keep my body warm, and met with the nurse, anesthetist and my surgeon for pre op discussions. Then i was escorted into the operation theatre where i hopped on the table, got nice and comfy with blankets, tubes, oxygen mask annnnddd.... woke up 4 hours later forgetting i had surgery 🤣
I did this in my last surgery (which in comparission was more terrifying cause i had blood in my mouth and couldnt remember what happened to me), but i woke up and couldn't work out where i was, why i felt so dizzy and how i got clothed 🤣 i spent about 2 hours in the recovery room sat in a recliner chair dozing off, except to eat (cause i had been fasting prior) and drink. I did try to pee but couldn't which was frustrating 😅 then i was taken home, where i promptly went to sleep lol
I had my drains in for 72 hours and they were the worst part of recovery. I carried bottles in a pillow case and they had be be positioned lower than my chest at all times. Luckily i wasn't able to move much and while i was on strong pain medication i mainly slept. I had my mum stay with me for a week and i'm thankful she did cause she really saved my butt by doing everything for me (i really had to let go of my control which was weirdly hard, i just felt bad making her do things for me but she was happy to). The drains were uncomfortable and by the morning there were to be taken out i was really hurting where they were inserted. After they were taken out it was a blessing and recovery got A LOT easier. I had shallow baths every few days and my mum helped me was my hair. I had baby wipes for my armpits and chest area which again saved me from being stinky. I still mainly slept, or watched tv shows with my mum up until she left. She prepped me a LOT of meals before she left so i wouldn't have to cook.
Sleeping on my back was probably the most uncomfortable part (after the drains), because i'm a stomach sleeper. I have been managing to sleep though which has been nice (and Maple has been good, sleeping beside me all through the night!). I've been sleeping elevated to help with swelling. I actually got told off by my nurse while doing my week post op check up cause i was still doing too much. I went to Uni for a 6 hour workshop that day too and went to a costume showcase that night. Safe to safe i was exhausted the next day and didnt do much but sleep.
So i'm still quite swollen and bruised 1 1/2 weeks in, which will eventually settle down. my nipples seem to be taking well so crossing fingers the blood returns. I was worried about puckering but being able to closely examine my chest it's due to the swelling at the moment so hopefully that goes down too.
All in all i can't stop smiling at my chest - i finally feel like myself 😁
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Some tips for those looking to have Top Surgery based on my experience:
MEDICINE
I have a high pain threshold - i was willing to go to uni a week post op because i could stand to - would recommend people booking off at LEAST 3 weeks prior to work/study if you can help it. I have only one class per week at the moment and its only theory so thats why i was able to travel and even then i was taken pain killers ever 4 hours.
In my mother's words "don't be a hero, if you need to take pain relief, do it". Best advice. I've weened myself off pain killers to 2 just before bed (panadine forte), or before i need to go out and do things (genral paracetamol). If you need to take more just do it - also write down when you've taken things (because its good to know how much you've had per day!) You can take iburofen and paracetamol intermittedly in 4 hour intervals (eg. Iburofen at 12pm, paracetamol at 2pm, another dose of iburofen at 4pm, etc).
You'll also be taking antibiotics - generally 3 times a day with meals. I also took probiotics 2 hours after taking my antibiotics to avoid the sideaffects of them (eg. Mouth Ulcers (which i did get dang it), thrush, etc).
I was also taking strong pain killers (for the first few days i took 2 every 4 hours then weened down to one per night). Be careful with strong pain killers - the thing doctors/people don't tend to mention is that they can be addictive/dependent drugs. Sometimes you would prefer to keep taking them and that can be an issue. I asked my surgeon at my 1 week if i could please get one more script of something a little stronger than paracetamol to take a night and it took a bit more of a discussion to get it. If you can try to get by on the paracetamol alone do so and remember you can alternate with iburofen every two hours.
WEIRD BOWELS
With all these medications you'll more than likely get constipated so adding to the list of medications i also took good ol' laxatives. The first poop after surgery was like 3 days later and it hurt 😅 the laxatives helped me after to soften my stools (cheat mode is when you're lactose intolerent and you eat a bunch of cheesecake whoops 😅). Also peeing was weird for the first week due to the anesthestics in me. It took me ages to pee, sometimes i had the feeling of needing to pee but nothing happened, and i was peeing like, every hour.
SUPPORT
Both in furniture sense and people sense.
My mum was my main support especially in the first week. She looked after me, my house and my cat. She grabbed things i couldn't access, drove me to my appointments, managed my medicine, cooked me food and generally just helped me around the place. Originally i only wanted her there for a few days but im glad she was there cause i was sore and out of it most of the time. Alongside her my two best friends were also a massive help - coming over to keep me company, drive me places, help me do my grocery shopping, tell me off for overdoing it, gave me plenty of entertainment (thanks to katie i finished wind waker!). Get yourself some support and let go of that control, you will honestly be too tired and sore to do anything anyway.
Make sure you get yourself some comfy pillows. I got myself a U shaped pillow and it has so far saved my neck so much pain. I sleep elevated which means more pillows to prop myself up. And pillows for my couch.
WASHING
So for the first 72 hours i was just a gross gremlin with dry shampoo because of the drains. My chest was covered in bandages so i couldn't wash that area anyway. After the drains were removed i was told i could have showers, but i opted for shallow bathes anyway. I was able to wash myself fine (just go slow), then i would put pants on and get my mum to help wash my hair. After my 1 week check up i started having showers, but stood out of the stream. I only have tape to cover my stitches now (i took them off for the photo) so am able to carefully wash parts of my chest and back i couldnt get to before. I can now wash my hair (slowly). Raising my arms is still not easily fesable but i can lift them to a certain point.
EMOTIONAL
Now, i wasn't as emotional as i thought i was going to be but i do know other trans guys who said they went through bouts of depression after their surgery. Its something to look out for. For me, it was emotionally draining to talk to people about it constantly. I didn't mind though and it was nice people checked up on me but it did wear me out. Its always good though to check in with your emotional state throughout to see how youre feeling. It's not an inmediate grattification, the swelling and bruising is a lot and it won't look right for a while. Also leading up to surgery people can feel fearful and doubtful, always chat to a loved one about your feelings! Personally i had no nerves leading up to surgery but afterwards i was constantly worried that i wasn't healing right. Talking to your surgeon will HELP trust me!
SCARRING
Ok this was a big shock to me so i hope this helps other people but scar medication/ointments don't actually work. I asked my surgeon about it and as a skin professional who has been studying the effects of scarring for over 40 years - this is a beauty scam you don't need to bite into.
"Time and your genetic biology are the only ways that help your scars heal, sorry to burst your bubble but save your money on that placebo".
Looking after yourself the first few months post op will help you get good results later.
Of course i understand if people will still want to buy scarring products but thought i would post the words of a professional too 😅 don't shoot the messenger on this one. And if you do decide to use the stuff then wait 6 months before doing so.
I think that's all i can think of at the moment. There's a really good private facebook group for top surgery and i got a lot of my info from there. If people are curious feel free to DM me, send me an inbox and i'd be happy to chat as best i can! My experience is based in Australia so people might have different expectations/experiences in different countries!
🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈💛💛💛🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈
15 notes · View notes
nicolejopia · 4 years
Text
Performance Task
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pre-test
1. What do you mean by the word Privilege?
2. What do you think is the job of news reporter and documentarian?
3. In your own opinion do you think it is right to rally in times of pandemic?
4. Define the word Frontliners.
5. Who are considered frontliners?
A. Medical personnel
B. Food Delivery Driver
C. Wet Market Vendors
D. All of the above
Privilege
How do you define privilege people? a thousand square meters house? Designer bags? luxury cars? huge amount of money in different bank accounts? capability to eat at a fancy restaurants which the amount of their tip to the waiter is the same amount as their bill?or what about the people who are able to eat three times a day without leaving the four corners of their house? Or the ones who are on the top of the triangle?
I am laying on my soft and comfortable bed with my breakfast ready on my side table when I decided to watch the news with our 75 inches tv. Its 4:00 o'clock in the morning and I need to wake up this early to go to work. The news is outrageous and very stressful, I said to myself. My name is Seri Janica Davila I am working as a news reporter && a documentarian here in the Philippines for eight and a half year. In that period of time I was able to build my own house, buy two luxury car, save money, raise my three kids on my own and send them at an exclusive school. I got divorce with my husband 6 years ago and never heard anything from him since that and started raising our three kids without asking not even a single centavo from my him. I guess that was really the essence of being a woman continuing to go && grow without needing a man in their lives.
It was now 4:30 in the morning and I need to get my day ready I'm done preparing food for my kids and so I can now leave the house. I been doing this for almost 9 years I can say its really exhausting but this is really my passion. Witnessing peoples daily lives, understanding their reasons and knowing how social status affects. It is a very frustrating job however when you get use it you'll realizes that there are things you're not in control, You can report it, you can flash it on national television but still when those higher officials don't give a single damn about them, the poorest ones will still remain at the bottom. Just like the usual poverty really sucks.
I arrived 5: 35 am at the GMA building I was on time. Today is the 1st week of the community quarantine at the whole vicinity of Luzon. I wait orders from my superior and they told me I will be in one of the border of metro manila while I was on the way I can see people walking and looking so tired when it fact it is only 5:50 am which supposed to be just the start of their day. I can see people waiting for buses, traffic enforcers giving reminders of social distancing, taho vendor who seems to be so weak, and the face of different frustrated employees who desperately wants to make it to their work. On the other hand I also saw silk-stocking people bulk-buying grocery items coming out from SnR. The world is crazy I sadly utter to myself.
It was 6:45 am when I finally headed to my destination. I hear people different opinions and sentiments. A jeepney driver who is being interrogated by the police caught my attention, I hurriedly go towards them with my microphone on my left hand and my cellphone on my right hand and I urgently call my camera man to go with me. I asked one of the police men whats happening he said " Ang kulit e sabi ng wala munang babiyahe hanggat may quarantine, Eto naman si manong sige pa rin sa pasada hindi mapagsabihan " The jeepney driver heard him and he said " pag hindi po ako kumayod wala po kaming kakainin pano naman po yung pamilya ko pano kami mahirap lang kami hindi kami pwede tumunganga sa bahay mamatay kami sa gutom " he was in tears and so I was. He's right, how about them? How about those isang kayod isang tuka? How about the people who are in what we called "laylayan ng lipunan"? How about the vendors? The drivers? They are the one who are much by affected by this situation.
My phone rings it is my boss is I answered it and he told that there's a rally at Quezon City, We hurriedly go to the exact location, In 18 mins we arrived, I could'nt help but to stare at them. They are mad, no they were not mad, mad is too shallow to describe they were furious. The AFP showed-up and the people began to run others successfully escaped but the others are caught. They are shouting "bigas lang po" "asan na ang ayuda" "ilang araw na kaming naghihintay bakit wala pa ding tulong". They are yelling for help, asking officials to remember them. That mess was heart breaking they were just asking for a little help yet the laws are not fair to everyone.
It was 11:57 in the evening I was about to sleep when someone knocks on my door. It was my sister who just got home from work asking for a phone charger. "I left my charger at the hospital can I borrow yours?" she said and sat on my bed. "Sure" I answered, and quickly look for my charger, "How's work" I asked, "Exhausting and frustrating, those senators and higher officials wants themselves to be priority for testing. They are'nt even PUI's nor PUM's yet they want to get tested." Shes a Doctor at Makati Medical Hospital for 9 years. "Those privilege people always wants to put themselves first before others, they are selfish as hell. People are dying and they're still thinking of their own sake yet they called themselves leaders and frontliners. They are the worst virus in our country." She added, You can see how exasperated she is by the she talks. "I need to get some rest, Goodnight" She utter and then left my room. She left me hangging. How can those self-centered individuals sleep tight at night thinking that our country is suffering from pandemic and people are lack in food yet they have the guts to think first of themselves. Our Doctors and their constituents are dying yet one of them have the guts to walk through SnR and go for shopping and even go to hospital to accompany her pregnant wife. I mean, who the fuck do you think you are.
It was 2:00 in the morning and I couldnt sleep it feels like I need to do something. I browse my phone and an idea come up to my mind "why not raise a fund?" I told myself. I urgently posted my idea and a lot of people are willing to donate I was so thankful that people wants to help in this midst of calamity. I raise a fund of 3 million pesos and turned it into a groceries. I asked my neighbors and friends to help me in repacking. After 2 days were done and ready for distribution. We gave the grocery items to the poorest one and to those who needed it the most like the beggars, scavengers, drivers and we also do house to house distribution. Their smiles are priceless even though its just a little help they are still grateful and smiling from ear to ear.
It was 9:40 pm and Im finally home. I am eating my dinner alone cause my kids are at sleep and my sister isnt home yet when i decided to browse my social media account. People on the internet are arguing the dds and anti. I continue scrolling reading and reading. When one post pop up to my news feed " One netizen ask me for help pang kain lang daw may apat daw syang anak nahihirapan na daw sila lol hindi ko obligasyon buhayin kayo" that was the post I just read coming from a famous vlogger who are earning half a million in just a month. I roll my eyes "wow this ill-mannered && inconsiderate human have the audacity to shame?? didnt your momma taught how to have helping hand??" i freakingly talking to myself.
In this cruel world I hope people can have each other. I hope we can be an extension of blessing. Set aside our selfishness instead we should have a heart that will always care for the others. A little humanity and compassion will do to surpass any circumstances that China, the universe rather may throw to us.
Its been exactly a month since this pandemic started in our country. The number of cases arises and there is still no concrete solution to this calamity. It will be a long run, I hope our frontliners won't get tired in solving this. To our Nations frontliners, Thank you so much && Keep safe! 🖤
Post-test
1. According to the story, What is the essence of being a woman?
2. Why does the sister of Serica Janica becomes frustrated and exasperated by the higher officials?
3. Why does narrator said that it was cruel world?
4. Do you think laws are unfair?
5. What is the mood of the story?
1 note · View note
ronancegayass · 4 years
Note
Flower Asks: all of them >:3€ (forgive me)
(this is so many omg but I’ll allow it only bc i love u)
Alisons: Sexuality? 
     Gay af (ace lesbean)
Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?
     Waman (she/they)
Amaryllis: Birthday?
     November 2nd
Anemone: Favorite flower?
     Funnily enough anemones are one of my favs but i think my top favs are chrysanthemums and morning glories but I really love many flowers and flowers in general
Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?
     As of right now, stranger things duh
Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?
     Like favors or? I mean I really do try to be a kind and helpful person but if I don’t know somebody or haven’t at least seen them a couple times before I usually don’t do much bc of anxiety 
Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?
     "The extraordinary is in what we do, not who we are.” Lara Croft mostly bc I cant think of anything else right now and that stuck with me
Aubrieta: Favorite drink?
     Like a really good cup of black tea with cream and sugar or sweet tea
Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
     Never been kissed before but I definitely have someone in mind I would kiss ;3
Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?
     Hell yeah I am right now and I don’t think I ever have been before now
Baneberries: Favorite song?
     Oh hard question... currently really digging We Fell In Love in October by Girl in Red 
Basket of Gold: Describe your family.
     My family is supportive (for the most part) and very loving, even if they express love in weird ways sometimes. We also like to joke around a lot and make fun of each other but in a good way? Like we all have a good time mostly and I get along better with everyone since I started college
Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?
     My girlfriend is my best friend uwu I also have a lot of good friends but yeah
Begonia: Favorite color?
     Purble but specifically like a pastel purple and purples that lean more towards blue than pink
Bellflower: Favorite animal?
     Lynx! I love so many animals tho and I also like many cats and domestic cats in general
Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?
     Night!
Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?
     Probably would love to just be a loved house cat who gets to lay in front of the fire all day or a lynx bc i love them
Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
     A veterinarian (or a special agent lmao)! I also still plan on being a vet tho even tho I get discouraged at least once a month 
Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?
     I mean I like kids and I was a camp counselor for a summer, but I dont really want any of my own
Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?
     Oh god so many things.. Biggest thing would maybe be death/dying? Like if i think about it too much like the possibility of there just being nothing after death freaks me out. That and throwing up/nausea 
Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.
     I played soccer and then I was a competitive swimmer so i was kind of an athlete? even tho i hated sports
Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  
     I think I would like to go to waffle house, have the perfect cup of tea, spend lots of time with my loved ones and pet my kitties, play video games with my gf, and sit under a tree in the mountains preferably on a warmer day in the fall and watch the sunset 
Buttercup: Relationship Status?
     Very happily taken
Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?
     Always wanted to visit Norway
Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?
      Really big long hugs, good morning or goodnight messages, and I also really love cards 
Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  
     I have 6 
Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?
     Yup! I have an industrial, orbital, and 3 earlobe piercings   
California Poppy: Height?  
     5′2 or maybe a little less
Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?
     Yeah I think so, but I do also get freaked out easily lmao
Carnation: What are you currently wearing? 
     Red flannel, jeans, fuzzy socks, and big dyke boots  
Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?
     Yeah I did for a long time and I still sometimes sleep with one or like a bathroom light on if Im sleeping by myself in a new place
Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  
     Either my mom or my dad I dont remember technically who was last bc my parents are visiting me at college
Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?
     Again, never kissed or been kissed! but maybe soon... :0
Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?
     Font? I like the font in Night in the Woods?
Columbine: Are you tired?
     Pretty much always either sleepy or tired lol
Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?
     Christmas, getting to see my gf again, and Magfest!
Coneflower: Dream job?
     Like a veterinarian but having my own practice and also being able to take in injured wildlife if possible
Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?
     Introvert for sure
Crocus: Have you ever been in love?
     Oh repeat question, hell yes
Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?
     Depends what it is but I would go pretty far for somebody I care about and Im also a crazy person and would drive/travel no matter what distance for someone I love
Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?
     Yup! I had a ballerina bunny, named Bunny because I was very creative and I still have her
Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?
     Scorpio
Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?
     I think so? I did a lot of cool stuff with my GS troop like our bronze award project and going ziplining and to sliding rock. 
Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?
     My GS gold award for sure, that shit was hard work and stressful af
Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  
     Umm??? I would tell my dad to eat shit and die and I cant imagine my mom being anything but sweet and supportive so I dont even know
Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?
     You! This morning uwu
False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?
     uhh Im pretty good at making sense of stuff in my science labs and reasoning and im sometimes good at art? I feel like I do traditional better but Im getting better at digital
Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?
     bad at not being impulsive sometimes and bad at dead by daylight 
Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?
     a little over a month but officially got a girlfriend who i love very much, my gf came down to visit and we got to chill on the mountains together, and I had a pretty nice birthday 
Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?
     Good! Got breakfast at a diner with my parents and got coffee and a donut at my fav coffee shop so thats all i really need in life tbh 
Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?
     Yeah Im happy even tho Im stressed with school at times 
Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?
     Get a job after graduation and hopefully get into vet school on the first or second try
Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?
     My kitty, mom, wonderful gf, sister, dead by daylight, heated blanket, apartment, waffle house, my sisters kitty, and my dog
Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?  
     Donuts, coffee or tea, blankets, video games, and loud music
Hellebore: How do you show affection?
     Hmm... I really like to draw art for those i love, tell them how much i love them even though i can be bad with words, and i just try to spend a lot of time with the people I care about no matter what we are doing
Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?
     uhhh trying to open up more? and Im really proud of my gf 
Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.
     Going to waffle house. Go to a mountain and hike a little, sit on the top with girlfriend. Admire beauty of mountain countryside. Admire beauty of girlfriend while they admire the beauty of the mountain. Then warm up together with hot chocolate and play video games
Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  
     I like to doodle and do the arts, play video games, and I like to bake sometimes
Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?
     uuuuuuh I have a good friend I’ve known since kindergarten or first grade when I first moved to where I currently live
Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?
     My gf uwu and my mem
Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?
     probably like less than 10 
Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
     I think its really cute especially when you compliment my laugh
Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?
     ??? I think I am an okay person? And I try to be a good person and be kind and polite to people
Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
     Umm... I mean I like that Im kind? and Im not fake and I try to be a good person     
Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  
      I hate that I procrastinate and that I can get frustrated easily at myself and at situations like crowds and traffic
Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?
     I liked to play ‘restaurant’ with my sister with our littlest pet shops
Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?
     I had a really great best friend named Rachel :c
Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?
     Losing a lot of friends and for being distant for a long time 
Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  
     Cutting off a friend that was bad for my mental health and who didnt treat me well even though we were best friends for a long time 
Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?
     My name is literally my parents ship name... like they even told me they chose my name by putting their names together lmao but I mean I like my name so i guess its okay..
Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.
     Small town in new jersey when I was really, it was nice and family was closer. Then we moved and that was difficult but I ended up adjusting and it was good, had a decent amount of friends and the schools i went to were good
Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?
     For a long time I shared a room with my sister and we had a bunkbed and I had the top bunk of course, when we moved out of the apartment and into a house I got my own room and it was baby blue only because I told my dad that no, I didnt want a fuckin pink room and that was a whole thing lmao
Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  
    It was good? but also sucked a lot. I had a lot of issues with my mental health and struggled for a long while with something. I was bullied and stuff at home wasnt always that great. And i got outed so that was fun. Other than that I enjoyed swimming competitively and I got into art
Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.
I love my mom!! she is the most Mom mom and is so sweet and always there for me. She helps me out so much with so many things and I just love my mom so much
Onions: Tell about your dad.  
     I mean I love my dad? And hes better than he used to be, but he still doesnt help with shit and irritates me a lot. 
Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.
     I never got to know my grandfather on my moms side bc he passed away a few months before i was born and I sort of knew my grandmother but she lived far away and passed away 10 years ago. I usually see my gramma on my dads side the most and I try to visit often and help her out with stuff and I love her even though she can be a bit... racist and shit.. and I sometimes see my grandpa and step grandma but they can be strict about weird shit and always ask a lot of uncomfortable questions
Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?
     I dont really do much on my birthdays? Ive had a lot of nice birthdays and it usually involves going out to dinner or having a nice dinner at home and having birthday cake and playing games like jenga or yahtzee.
Peony: What was your first job?
     I did some petsitting for a while but my first real job was being a camp counselor/tower belayer/lifeguard at a girl scout camp
Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)?
     Met online after following them for a long time and drawing some arts for them, but didnt really start chatting until stranger things 3 came out bc I saw they had just watched it. Didnt meet irl until fursonacon and I just remember seeing them walking up to my car when I got there and just being like .... oh no.  I had already had a crush but at that point I was just heart eyes      
Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?
     Its a little fucked up but depending on the type of physical pain I like it? Like getting tattoos and stuff.. emotional/mental I just curl up in blankets and listen to sad music lol
Pink: Where is home?
    I feel like I have many homes? I feel really at home in the mountains, at home with my family, and when Im with my girlfriend
Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?
     Every event no matter how shitty shaped me into who i am today and Im pretty content and lucky with what I have today so maybe nothing?
Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.
     My GS leader Miss Kristin. So incredibly kind and outgoing and just willing to do whatever she can to help others. Shes so adventurous and outgoing and made my gs troop so amazing. She is such a wonderful lady and shes basically like another mom to me.
Primrose: Describe your ideal life.
     To be with my SO in a nice cabin in the mountains with a nice fireplace. Its cozy and we have pets (especially kitties but also maybe a dog and chickens and such) and life is okay and we’re happy
Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?
     God and Santa Claus (i was so heartbroken (over santa not God lmao))
Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?
     My girlfriend and my mom
Rose: What’s your favorite sound?
    My gfs voice and their laugh c: and I also really like the sound of thunderstorms and rain
Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?
Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?
Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?  
     To see my gf again and for winter break to just be here already I am so done with school lol
St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?
     Difficult? I try really hard to express how I feel but I usually mess up and I get anxious but I try my best lol
Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?
     Any of my loved ones and my cat 
Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?
     I wish I got more sleep but it was an okay amount
Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?
     Good morning texts from my gf and my gf in general
Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?
      I dont currently have a job but I occasionally do art commissions which is usually fun and gives me something to do 
Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?
     Any of my flannels and my leather jacket (also not mine but my gfs hoodie they gave to me to borrow)
Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic. 
     mountains, cabins, flowers, fall, flannel, small coffee shops, pastels 
Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?
     Im not one to be picky about gifts? I just love anything that someone put some thought into and thought I would like or reminded them of me but i feel bad if it was something expensive or anything lol
Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?
     Final exams and graduation
Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?
     0 lmao I used to read a shit ton but Ive been picky about what books I want to read lately 
Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?
    Working towards applying to vet school and maybe thinking about moving out depending on a lot of things.
Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?
     Unfortunately
Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.
     I like collecting pins, pennies, and postcards which is funny to me
(So in conclusion,,, I love my gf)
(wow that was long as hell and took forever but done!)
4 notes · View notes
letstalksymphogear · 5 years
Text
Symphogear, EP. 6
Last Time on Grand Theft Auto:
Tsubasa recovers from the world’s gayest coma as Hibiki trains her mind while putting aside such silly concepts as “the love of my life” and “literally being with my girlfriend.” After cooling Miku’s paranoia with her brand new washboard abs, Genjuro prepares the team for a pizza run across the city to deliver a dangerously hot pizza pie named Durandal. Chaos emerges as the delivery is intercepted by a rival pizza gang, lead by the nefarious Gremlin known as Yukine Chris. But, before the pizza could be claimed, dedicated pizza deliverywoman Hibiki not only steals it back, but eats it, harnessing the power of the pizza and unleashing cheesy pasta based chaos around the location.
Ryoko is so into it that she taps into her superpowers and protects Hibiki after she passes out. The delivery is considered a failure, and no tip is given.
And so, the journey continues...
Tumblr media
Meanwhile, in this weird, tricked out mansion...
Tumblr media
Chris meditates on some water metaphors of her own.
Tumblr media
“that pacman colored freak took only touching it to activate a cheap ass french sword that gave her weird demon powers and its taken me YEARS to use this dumb stripper outfit and the funny cane that goes with it, what the FUCK man, what even is my life”
Tumblr media
“maybe... maybe honeybaked hams ARE that powerful...”
Tumblr media
“NO! turkey is the superior meat! it’s healthier, lower in fat, and way more tasty! fuck you! i’ll get my goddamned revenge!”
Tumblr media
Chris begins musing about Fine’s motivations to capture Hibiki; during these, we’re treated to some brief image flashbacks of Chris’s life.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Suddenly, those jokes about food are a lot less funny.
Tumblr media
It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together as to why this young woman is helping a strange nudist dominatrix spread alien terror across the city of mumblednoises, Japan. She doesn’t really have many an option on the table. It’s either help the weird kinkster with her plans, or die.
Tumblr media
Despite everything, she has a high opinion of Fine, for the same reasons someone might have a high opinion of a television show if it were the only show they were ever exposed to. She is deeply afraid of being alone again, because she has lived through such misery that the very thought of existing out in the cold again terrifies the shit out of her.
The Sun rises casually amidst Chris’s thoughts.
Tumblr media
“ah shit. it just hit me. i literally have spent the entire night standing here instead of actually going the fuck to sleep. goddamnit.”
On such a devious metaphorical twist, Fine stands behind her as the Sun rises.
Tumblr media
“yeah, jokes on you. i couldnt sleep for shit either. turns out, all nude, no blankets? in japan? real bad idea.”
Tumblr media
“thats why i decided to GO GOTH, babey! whattaya think? do i give those witchy vibes, huh? real ‘black magic woman’ santana hours? feeling cute, gonna head out with the girls and summon satan in the woods kinda aesthetic looking shit? come on, be real with me. does this not look baller?”
Tumblr media
“you look like morticia decided to go to the grocery store to buy some wonder bread, but other than that, its a step up from your usual pussy out attitude, so sure”
Tumblr media
“you know i decided to get some brain cells on loan from Brain Cells R Us, and ive been thinking this solomon cane stuff is solomon lame. i dont need this dumb oversized harry potter cosplay prop to get shit done. also, murder is... sorta bad? im still trying to get the brain cell stuff down.”
Tumblr media
“i can punch just as good as goody two shoes if not better.”
Tumblr media
“lol go do it then champ, im gonna go cut down a forest of trees now”
Tumblr media
And so, they both just kinda... stand there.
Tumblr media
“QUACK, NEXT SCENE, QUACK”
Tumblr media
Meanwhile, Tsubasa is rapidly trying to rehabilitate herself from her wounds like walking like a madman, her IV drip presumably filled with Taco Bell brand Doritos Locos Tacos super spicy nacho cheese. Taco Bell: Live Mas.
Tumblr media
“im gonna clear every fucking taco bell in your goddamned memory, kanade”
Tumblr media
“think outside the bun! wait, what? that was a taco bell slogan? ah fuck it, im dead. what nerd’s gonna try and correct me?”
Tumblr media
“i would, kanade. i am that nerd.”
Tsubasa is hell bent to try and understand Kanade’s simple philosophy of helping others selflessly. Unfortunately, when Kanade died, she took all the brain cells between them in the process, so coming to this epiphany is a work in progress.
Tumblr media
“listen its a fucking miracle you are 1. alive and 2. able to have your blood run on the garbage melted plastic taco bell tries to dupe people into believing is cheese so why dont you just lie down and think of better franchises to eat from”
Tumblr media
“no! you dont understand! taco bell is a franchise of the PEOPLE! their meals are cheap and filling and- and the chicken quesadillas are of good quality for their price! i promised kanade- my vow to the death. taco bell... ergh... now and forever... i-”
Tumblr media
“wait. my gay senses are tingling.”
Tumblr media
It’s Hibiki, probably running track with Miku.
Tumblr media
“oh yeah... her... i should probably apologize to her. about trying to kill her. and then letting her almost be kidnapped. and just giving her a general hard time about something that wasn’t explained to her in the slightest for months. she’s a good bean.”
Tsubasa proceeds to never canonically apologize to Hibiki throughout the entirety of all 4 seasons of Symphogear.
Tumblr media
Look at em run. See, it’s a metaphor, because they haven’t communicated yet and they’re running from their problems! But they’re running towards Tsubasa, who is part of the representative problem these two share! Clearly literary genius.
It’s like someone went halfway into writing an NTR plotline and went “maybe this isn’t a good idea to market our songs on.”
Tumblr media
Hibiki is still thinking about her Hellshake Yano moment with Durandal. Mainly how she nearly killed someone with it. Hibiki is very starkly in the “killing is bad, and wrong” camp of morality, a trait currently unique to her that she’ll wind up teaching literally everyone else she meets one way or another.
Tumblr media
Some could argue the L stands for Lydian, and they’re wrong. It stands for Lesbian.
Tumblr media
“that was one hell of a run, hibiki! im pooped! why dont we go to the locker room and call it a day, have a nice shower and just get some dinn-”
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
“this is the last straw.
i clean your plates. i cook your food. we eat, shit, shower, and sleep in the same FUCKING area, and this is how you repay me? huh? you think being your wife is easy shit, hibiki? half the damn time you’re running off like clark kent having food poisoning and the other half ive gotta babysit you, the emotional equivalent of a preteen clown, to make sure your life doesn’t self destruct harder than Atlantis sinking into the ocean. im done! i am DONE. im reopening my tinder, im slamming my ass BACK into okcupid, and im gonna date some CUTE ACADEMY GIRLS that treat me BETTER than this ABSOLUTE BETRAYAL OF HEART AND IM NOT CRYING I SWEAR ITS JUST THE SWEAT IN MY EYES AND HIBIKI HOW COULD YOU-”
Tumblr media
“oh yeah, sure! hey, lemme just do a few more laps, ive just been feeling judgmental about myself and my figure, you know? gotta push myself further...”
Tumblr media
“o-oh yeah, sure. no worries, ill wait for you. love you too, hibiki...”
The girls bathe together, as good friends typically do.
Tumblr media
“hey you ever notice the showers here have like, weird psuedo-luxurious minipools to bathe in? like, how rich is this school?”
Tumblr media
“whoever made this place is either rich or a pervert. or both, probably!”
Tumblr media
Miku remarks that Hibiki has changed since she’s entered Lydian, in a manner most unheterosexual.
Tumblr media
“oh FUCK you really DO have washboard abs now! ohhh my god.”
Tumblr media
“damn, those abs were heavenly. let’s get pancakes later.”
I won’t screenshot it but something to note is that they actually wear each other’s corresponding underwear colors (or even, if you want to examine more closely, each other’s underwear). Here’s an equivalent scene to give you the mental image.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This is the face of someone who knows what they want and already have it. Such is the power of Kohinata Miku.
Meanwhile, Genjuro comes back from the funeral of the guy the Americans filled violently and with impunity.
Tumblr media
“yo that all black look looks baller. i should borrow that look... id look pretty gothy in it.”
Tumblr media
“ryoko i sympathize with your sharp, fashionista eye but this was for a funeral, i was paying my respects to the dead. thats the usual dress code.”
Tumblr media
“didnt know they updated that. i remember back in my day, we just went in white garments and chanted in latin!”
Tumblr media
“shit was fire. literally. lots of funeral pyres.”
Tumblr media
“lmao ryoko buddy your larping sessions arent actual history”
Tumblr media
“hey dont shit on larping around me. i used to be a professional larper while i was majoring in acting. helped really sell my career when i had to pretend to slay the Dark Lord Jyarloen atop the mountain of skulls in Hargobor after my family was killed by the Dark Army. asshole.”
Tumblr media
“haha yeah, larping, thats cool yeah, i do that
i...
i larp.”
Tumblr media
“oh yeah? you wanna join my larping session sometime then? we’re gonna do an ancient babylon plot thats inspired by some anime, itll be fun”
Tumblr media
“.....................................im super into realism.”
Tumblr media
“i know im dressed for a funeral but id like to not part ways with my dignity yet. besides, we’ve got serious shit to talk about. basically, we’re on the verge of getting shitcanned.”
As it turns out, the death of this politician removed the last obstacle of opposition to maintain the 2nd Division, as the average criticism against the 2nd Division is “why are we funding this mystery division when we don’t know what they do”. Of course, the sensible idea for an organization that defeats the Noise is to declassify it, given people of different jobs and positions have physically seen the Symphogear in action, but you know. “Oh no, the other governments will come after us” stick gets shaken.
Tumblr media
“im in a union. i know my rights. you’re not taking my acting job here away from me.”
Tumblr media
“im not going back to be a preschool teacher. its been ten year. the bites on my ankles still havent healed...”
Tumblr media
“yeah man, shit sucks ass. i cant fund my adoption habits if im fired.”
Tumblr media
Look at these cinematic parallels. Symphogear truly is a franchise made by someone living in 3030.
Tumblr media
“worst part is the new minister is super into america. he’s a... westaboo.”
Tumblr media
“a westaboo?”
Tumblr media
“westaboo?”
Tumblr media
“did he just unironically say westaboo”
Tumblr media
“he said westaboo. oh my god. this is the hell timeline.”
Tumblr media
“i mean people kept calling me that for worshipping all these fighting flicks so i guess it fit? i dont see the problem here”
Meanwhile, in Lydian Academy...
Tumblr media
“so it hit me, right? we’re ALL girls. and we ALL sing. now, humor me a moment. what if... what if we’ve all been recruited to potentially be superheroes... through our singing? like, there’s no coincidence that all this shit happens around us, right? and a famous singer LIVES here? i saw the black cars outside! weird shit is happening here- im not even gonna eat the all you can eat bar anymore!”
“kathy there is literally no such thing as superheroes who sing. this place is more likely to be a organ harvesting op than whatever madness you’re saying”
Tumblr media
“what? you need me, a singing superhero, to go stop a problem happening underneath the school, a location meant to recruit young women into potentially becoming fellow crime fighting singers?”
Tumblr media
“yeah im too busy poppin’ caps in asses so go kick ass in my place”
Tumblr media
“sure!”
Tumblr media
“.....................................who ya talkin to, hibiki?”
Tumblr media
“the boss! gotta go do a thing again...”
Tumblr media
“hibiki, i dont like the fact that capitalism is tearing us apart.”
Tumblr media
“you’ve gotta join me in the revolution, hibiki. you. me. luxury automated gay space communism. aint it the dream? share my vision, hibiki. its glorious.”
Tumblr media
“n... no...? no gay space communism today? well, what about tomorrow? or the next day? or... maybe the next day? baby steps, you say? but, direction action, hibiki! we’ve gotta strike now!”
Tumblr media
“it’s okay hibiki. when i take over the world and destroy all first world government leaders, and unite the globe in my encompassing reign and love... ill make sure to spare you, and be my bride to be.”
Tumblr media
“thanks miku. im just not ready yet for the globe to burn in an unending ball of fire as the continents fuse into a new utopia composed of our combined wills. also, ive really gotta go, its genuinely an emergency.”
Tumblr media
“for the cause!”
Tumblr media
“yes hibiki... for the cause...”
Admittedly, you can see the stages of grief Miku goes through when she sees Hibiki say she can’t join her for pancakes. It’s sad. This side story sucks.
Meanwhile, as it turns out, the problem Hibiki needed to resolve was checking on Tsubasa to see if she hadn’t dissolved into Taco Bell brand hot n’ spicy Tabasco sauce.
Tumblr media
“god, cant believe taco bell was closed. now i gotta deliver these lame ass flowers”
Tumblr media
“cant wait to get threatened again. wonder what she’ll say. ‘hibiki, i should have killed you when i had the chance.’ or ‘you’re so goddamned weak. i could break your spine with my fingernail’, or some other stuff about metaphors. oh, my stops here”
Tumblr media
“HEY BITCH WHATS GOOD-”
Tumblr media
“HOLY SHIT”
Tumblr media
“you are already”
Tumblr media
“dead.”
Tumblr media
29 notes · View notes
deobis · 5 years
Note
i'm not trying to clown you or anything, but i'm just genuinely curious as to why you bias sunwoo now? like what do you love about him and all? if i'm not mistaken, you used to be hyunjoon-biased correct?
hello! god bless this ask :’) i was waiting for someone to allow me to be absolutely gr0ss and gushy about my sunshine : (
and yes! you are correct :’) i used to be very hyunjoon biased! but if i were to make a comparison,,, hyunjoon was really just a crush but sunoo is the one i really fell for. anyways gush under cut cuz i doubt anyone cares
so if i have to be honest, i “fall in love at first sight” w groups. usually the person i notice first becomes my bias. theres always one defining feature i usually fall in love with. so usually i tend to bias dancers (ex. ten, taemin, chaeyeon, wooyoung, san, etc etc) but with tbz i had exposure to them since boy and had been following their music since debut, but not the group. 
Not until no air dropped did i really begin to fall in love w them. I had a lot of trouble picking a bias w tbz, which is very rare for me but i also think its because i had a ton of exposure to them before. in the boy mv i think the ones that stood out to me were sunwoo hyunjoon and jacob. In giddy up i considered joining the fandom (bc legendary song omg) and the ones that stood out in that mv were sunwoo chanhee and changmin. unluckily for me, i didnt end up getting into the fandom until no air dropped and i spent over a week picking a bias between hyunjoon, sunwoo, changmin, and kevin (as u can see its not that surprising i fell for sunwoo lol,,, it was just a matter of time) anyways, it was a long week but hyunjoons smile really just,,,,,, sold me
Tumblr media
like cmon are you kidding me look at that he has the prettiest smile on earth and i still stand by that opinion. and after really investing myself in tbz, i found myself loving his unique dance style. the way he presents himself is so genuine and different from what i usually prefer in dancers. My favorite dancer is by far Ten and my brain auto compares dancers to him but with hyunjoon,,, the style was just so different that it was impossible to compare the two. So yeah I still love hyunjoon a lot! its just,,,, i love sunoo more
tbh i have no idea when i started falling so hard for kim sunwoo. it really just came gradually,,, and thats super strange for my “love at first sight” aries venus :’) though i dont remember exactly what moment made me start swerving, i know his lyrics and rap style played a big part in me becoming the biggest sunoonator on this earth. His first verse in 4EVER is by far the best thing i have ever heard (and in an interview he also said those lines were some of his favorite lyrics hes written!!!
another thing that really swayed me was the bday prank. that clip made me pay so much more attention to him when before i was one track minded on hyunjoon. but seeing him just break down when he realized those he loved weren’t actually fighting showed me how genuine he was. by paying more attention to him, i really just,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, swooned for that dorky smile of his (example below bc i want to c’:)
Tumblr media
and his overall quirkiness.
something ive also been loving and noticing recently is his absolute hatred for skinny jeans LOL and same. I literally wear joggers every single day bc i cant be bothered. Sunwoos fashion looks so comfortable and he pulls it off so well! its something i can appreciate and love
and the final thing. this is probably the biggest reason i absolutely love love love him! its the way he interacts and treats his fans. idk if you follow the fancafe but sunwoo updates the most out of all of the members. He basically writes in the fancafe every single day, even if its as simple as “deobis what are you doing?” and no matter what, hes always talking about deobis in his updates and almost always reminds us that he loves us! theres one fancafe letter he wrote that i have bookmarked and saved and its the one where he literally starts off by saying that hes awake at 5:20 am (iirc this was after TFMAs where they won the next leader award) bc he cant sleep and he just pours out his late night (or in this case early morning lol) thoughts and its just him talking about his career and how he is so honored to be able to perform on the same stage as his seniors. he also talks about how he is so grateful to deobis and begins explaining his thoughts about the relationship between artists and their fans and how beautiful he finds this relationship. and he continues to describe what kind of singer he wants to be: a loveable singer who can cheer others up. he said that deobis are the ones who helped him become the person he is today and how he always will be sincere to deobis that cheer for him :’(( this is a super dumbed down ver of his letter bc my korean isnt extremely good but he basically ends by saying he’ll continue to improve for deobis and that he really loves us :( this letter was then posted around an hour later at around 6 am :( so he basically spent an hour writing a letter to deobis at the crack of dawn just bc he wanted to tell us his thoughts,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i rly,,,,,,,, im so sad hes the sweetest :( 
oh also special creds to @jushaknyeon (especially this hakkjae clown), @noairmv, and @hwqll for clowning me so hard into finally biasing him love u guys sm lol
this is probably way way way more than what you were expecting but i really needed to let it all out :’) i love him to the end of the universe and back! and im pretty sure this time hes just going to be stuck with me :’) (his loss lmao)
if you read all the way down to here im so sorry for wasting your time LOLOLOL here is a sunoo gif as an apology
Tumblr media
11 notes · View notes
madisonrooney · 5 years
Text
well it was fun while it lasted
and so ends the year where i was constantly aware of when id next see dove
early 2016-mid 2017 i ALWAYS knew when i’d next see her, and i got a little too used to the feeling. i first met her in summer 2015 and i considered myself lucky to have that chance at all, even getting in that wasnt easy, and i didnt really think about every getting to meet her again cuz i just...didnt think i could. i moved out to california a couple weeks later and began to learn about all the opportunities it had for me. once liv and maddie got renewed for season 4, my friend and i are like lets just go to every taping and im like yah theres...no reason we cant? so i expected to get to see her p much every week for a number of months and i was ecstatic. then most of the tapings got cancelled one by one (or two by two at most) and every couple weeks id get my hopes up only for them to be torn down again. (also the tickets may have been free but getting them was not easy! you had to refresh the website for like 2 hours!) it hurt me every time but it taught me to not get my hopes up too high in the future. ofc, i still treasured every time i had with her, but i did even more so after going through that.
after mamma mia in summer 2017, i had no idea when id see her again and for that and some other reasons i had a major relapse the night after. i was def posting about it on here. that was miserable and the coming days, weeks, months, were rough too.
i got a random chance to meet her at the end of that year, then another early in 2018. these, ofc, lifted my spirits a lot and gave me more hope of the fact that random encounters with her can happen. and when i say random i mean RANDOM both of these were announced like a week in advance.
clueless put me back on the path id been on in years past. shortly before it, i got tix for light in the piazza in london, so i knew even after clueless, id see her again in 7 months, plus that gave me a LONG time to look forward to seeing her. disney channel fan fest ended up happening in between those to make it even better, and then shortly before london, i got my tix to see the show in LA, extending the period four more months.
but now its over. light in the piazza is behind me. i knew this day was coming and ive been through it before so its easier to deal with than it used to be but its still hard. especially because after mamma mia, even tho d3 wasnt confirmed, it was still likely, so i had hope that that would lead to more events and encounters soon enough. now i dont have anything like that to lean on.
the more that i think of it, this period has technically lasted longer than a year. d3 being announced in february 2018 basically signified id see her again soon. it didnt confirm it but it made it more likely. so its more like....the last almost TWO years of my life are over. yeesh.
but now that both lam and descendants are behind us, the future is so uncertain. album signings? concerts? more musicals? no one really knows. i wanna hope for the best and especially hope for more random encounters like in 2017/18, but i dont wanna rely on that and get disappointed if it doesnt happen.
i hate sounding like im entitled to any of this because i know how fortunate i am and that not everyone gets these opportunities. like i said, meeting her for the first time was beyond my wildest dreams. but for one thing, i just dont know what to look forward to now. to add on to it, ive been MAJORLY bored and lonely. ill have days upon days with no plans. i just sleep, dont leave the house, and have no social interaction. i dont like it that way and i try to make plans but it isnt always that easy. ever since i was little, ive thrived on having some big thing to look forward to. thats whats pushed me forward, but now i dont really have one. not dove or otherwise. i have some things im looking forward to, but only so big and only so soon. (my mom reminds me to remember that were going to NYC soon but it feels so far away. i need my Boys to heal me lol)
for another thing, and im probably worrying too much about this, i worry that if too much time passes between us seeing each other our relationship may fade away/she may forget me. ive been proven wrong about this before. weve gone like...8 months without seeing each other and not only does she remember me but she can spot me in a crowd/remember details about me/etc. but i always worry regardless, especially since its already been almost 6 months since we last interacted. and who knows how many more months it will be.
and lastly, the pain of the tapings getting cancelled still really hasn’t gone away. think about it, i STILL haven’t reached the amount of times i would have met her by summer 2016 had none of the tapings been cancelled or been overbooked. and its been THREE YEARS! the way it was organized was so shoddy and never felt fair to me. i get it, things get cancelled sometimes, but this was just out of control.
not only do i not know when ill see her next we dont even know when were getting any new content out of her. thats what ive been living on for 5 years. i had LAM and even after it ended i had descendants. now i dont know what i have. and all of that has become such a big part of who i am that i feel almost lost.
ill be starting work at the beginning of next year so at least i have a new chapter in my life to look forward to, one with significantly fewer boring days and plenty more social interaction. but the time between then and now is dragging on, and it’s only going to get harder now.
1 note · View note
dfwemelie · 5 years
Text
August🔥
August 5th. I finally got my phone back from the cruise and omfg I wanna go back so bad. It was so incredibly fun and I met alot of amazing people. I met Gage, Taylor, Emma, Destiny, Dezi, Josh, Jacob, DJ, Andre, Adam, Daniel, Ty, Preston, Eddy, Aiden, and so many more people. It was such an experience and definitely the best birthday I've ever had. None of them are gonna read this but thank you to everyone who made my first cruise and my 16th birthday so awesome. I love and will miss everyone.
I got to watch Gavin today cause Sebastian has a eye doctors appointment which is not fun for me. I also have to get my school schedule today cause I wasnt able to on the 1st cause I was in Cozumel. I'm really hoping I get classes with my friends. I'll be upset if I didn't but itll be okay. If I dont I'll just be known as the quiet girl again.
August 6, I have to force myself to stop liking swedish boy but ngl it's so fucking hard. Hes perfect for me. God fucking damn it why does he gotta live so far. Why do I have to get so attached to people so quickly. I just get left in agonizing pain again and again. it's just a constant state of heartbreak. I hate this. I hate myself. He told me hes forcing himself to stop liking me cause he knows there is no way of us meeting. That really broke me. I keep saying it's fine but it's not. Why do I do this to myself. Why cant I just stay away from all of it like I wanted to in the first place. None of it matters anymore. I guess the only thing I can try to do is move on. I was talking to Parker about it and he said if he really did like me then he would try all he could to make it work. Ugh I just wish he could make it work. Hes not my cute swedish boi anymore, just a guy I met on tiktok. It hurts saying that but that's all itll ever be now. My tiny little sliver of hope that I had was incinerated by the flames of tragedy. I gotta move on. I dont wanna move on. I have to though. It hurts. Its weird not seeing his name as Swedish boi now when he texts me. He asked me to change it.
August 9th, I went driving today and i did kinda good. I went on Birnhamwoods and i was scared but i did good. My mom doesnt know how to give directions. Other than that I've just been in bed all day again. I've been watching Jane The Virgin season 5 with Misty and so many things are happening it's great. Theres 5 days till school and I want to go back but I really dont want to. First I'm gonna have to see Gage and that's gonna be hella awkward. We havent talked since he blocked me like a month or 2 ago. I also have to give Scott his stuff back and that's really gonna hurt. I don't tell anyone but I still wear his jacket sometimes. I know it's bad and I need to stop but I cant help it. I cant help the fact I still miss him. But now I gotta give it back to him. By me doing that it means its really over. I guess that's how its gonna be now. Just over. I gotta ignore the fact that I loved him and he was my first. But now it's gone and I have to accept that. I'm just gonna stop trying ya know. Im tired of getting my heart broken. I just need to be alone from everyone for awhile.
August 10th, Yesterday I was playing with the boys and needed to switch the party from my phone to the xbox. My headset was dead so I asked sebastian for his charger cause I lost mine. He said no but I took it anyways. He knew I was gonna take it so he rat me out to my parents and told me to give it back. I asked if I could borrow it again and he said no. I was angry so I grabbed his headset and threw it on the ground, breaking it. My dad heard and ran up the stairs and started yelling at me. He told me to clean my room so I locked myself in the bathroom. They took my phone, xbox cable, and TV cable. My mom tried talking to me but I didn't say anything, only that I wanted my phone back. While everyone was distracted I grabbed pillows, blankets, markers, and my fan and slept in the bathroom as a protest. At around 1am my mom gave me back my phone and said she deleted everything. I was pissed. But I'm fine now.
I went driving today again. We went through benders and looked at the rich people houses. Must be nice not being broke. I also drove to Kroger which I was nervous about since there were so many cars but I did good. I even parked, not perfectly but in the spot. My dad felt bad about yesterday and got me Starbucks. School is starting up soon and I'm excited to see kaylie but that's it. Not looking forward to giving Scott his jacket back. I'm just gonna walk up to him, say nothing, and hand it to him. I'm gonna stop talking about it before I start crying again lol
August 14th,First day of school and I've already cried twice. Scott kept talking about how he broke up with me and how he feels bad about how he did it and regrets it. Then he asked me about Gavin was and I said he really fucking misses him, cause he does. Then the bell rang and I cried walking out. Other than that it was an okay day. Coach Clair remembered me and I was really happy about that. Also my son Jadon is in that class and that made me happy.
August 15th, I'm in chemistry rn and I fucking hate it. I don't think there are any juniors in here and it sucks. I feel like shjt that I failed this class. It wasn't my fault though. I really hate this. It makes me really nervous and anxious and emotional. I'm not gonna cry but I wish I could. Everyone knows eachother and I don't know anyone. I wish I was in Physics instead but i guess that's harder than Chemistry. Now I'm in level chemistry so its gonna be easier cause I struggled with how fast they were teaching.
Looks like I gotta reset my days clean tonight.
I met this guy named Allon yesterday. I see him everyday since he's in my culinary and he's also in my history and my English. He seems cool and is friends with Eugene. Culinary was fun today, we did a speed dating thing and it was awkward at first but once we got to talking to everyone it was easy.
August 16th, its Friday. School is done for the week. I was upset today cause they changed my history teacher and I loved him. Now they put me with this monotone teacher Mr.Horton. it's weird cause there is only like 10 kids in that class. I am now also in Livestock production and there are 12 student in there including me now. I don't know why some of the classes are so small, there are over 2,000 students at gohs now. In culinary we had to split up in groups and I went with Eugene, Allon, Adam, and Tamara. They are a really fun group. I almost feel bad for leaving Michael to be in a group with a bunch of people he doesnt know but he would've had to choose to sit with them or Eugene so I sat with them so he didnt have to. I had alot of fun. I already know culinary is gonna be my favorite class this year. Mrs.Langley says we aren't allowed to choose our groups this year but I hope she changes her mind. Allon seems really nice. I got his snapchat and we've been talking alot. He has the cutest fucking poodle ever. I see him everyday, not just cause of culinary but hes in my blue day English.
August 18th, its 12:06pm and I just realized I haven't done my review for the last 2 days. I haven't done much. I've mainly been texting Allon and watching Netflix.
August 19th, I try to sleep away my depression. It doesn't work
August 20th, by far one of the worst things about grand oaks this year is the bus situation. There are way too many kids on each bus and they have to get more busses cause it's so over crowded.
Last night was okay, I played Apex with Eugene then after we just talked for an hour. He was the main person talking he kept saying he felt bad for talking so much but I told him I'm a good listener so it was okay. We talked about some deep stuff and we actually have alot in common. We both overthink situations and create random scenarios in our head that would never happen but like what if they did. I almost feel kinda bad about talking to Eugene so much cause Michael hates him and I consider them both of my friends. I've just known Michael for so long but I have alot in common Eugene. More than I thought. I've kinda been leaning away from Michael and from my friends in general. I feel horrible for doing it but I don't want to completely cut them out of my life cause they've been in my life for so long. I guess I've kinda just grew out of some friendships, mainly Michael and I's. Idk maybe I'm just talking too much and should just keep everything how it is.
August 22nd, okay so update. Derek hit me up and I'm like ew but whatever. Allon is making me watch pokemon and ngl kinda love it. My hair is curly. We stan. I feel sick but that's cause I ate a sandwich and kept moving around. Also my back hurts. I wanna die. I'm at the bus stop. Its humid. Ew. Gross. I hate myself. That's it. Goodnight.
August 23, I was kinda quiet in culinary today and everyone was very concerned apparently. I spoke maybe 10 words. I dont know the exact reason but it was mainly thinking about Scott and the fact I kinda feel left out alot of the time. I don't even know why I'm still thinking about him, maybe I should take the time over the weekend to try to stop thinking about him. I feel left out alot in culinary, and in life in general. Culinary cause I sit with all guys and they talk about things I dont really know. I dont feel like talking about it anymore. Goodnight
August 28th, not much has happened since I last updated. I played minecraft with Allon last night and it was pretty fun. He died twice and it was super funny. Before he left we talked about just life. How we've both given up on relationships in general cause we've been fucked over so many times. Which I think is weird cause I keep getting mixed signals from him that he likes me but he also thinks of me as a friend. It's weird. But yea he also asked me if I was gonna go to homecoming this year and I told him I would if someone asked me but other than that I probably wouldnt. Yeah and then he left and I cried myself to sleep cause i talk to my ceiling about how lonely i feel at night. Yeah that's it.
I have such bad luck with guys holy shit I hate myself
August 29th, I played more Minecraft with Allon yesterday. We played for 3 hours lol. It was really fun. We both kept dying in the nether and we also kept killing eachother. I still get confused on whether he likes me or not. So many mixed signals it's crazy. I forgot my chemistry notebook at home and I'm very upset about that but oh well. I get to see Julian today so that's gonna be interesting. I keep seeing Scott everywhere I go and it just makes me so incredibly sad. I wish it didnt but it does. I'm sitting next to Johan and it's very obvious he likes me. I feel bad for not liking him back but I cant help for the fact that I will only see him as a friend. I think the whole Scott thing is playing a part in it too. I dont wanna date Johan cause it means I'll be around him more often. I really miss him but I dont. I want him in my life but I dont. Ya know? I'm confusing myself. Carlos and his friend walked to my house yesterday to get his phone and wallet back. It was funny cause there was alot of lightning and thu der and Carlos got hella scared. My mom pulled up and we drove them home.
August 31st, ah the end. I've played minecraft with Allon all day except for when I went to Akashi. Lifes been okay. I still think about him alot but I'm getting better. At least I feel like I am. Hopefully. I know it takes time but fuck I'm impatient. I miss Kaylie. I like culinary. I've officially established a group. It's me, Allon, Eugene, Adam, and the occasional Ty and Tamara. It's great. I'm happy I've made friends. Also I have a new friend in fashion. I'm trying to plan ahead on outfits for the show and I already have my whole 5 outfits but I need my fashion sketchbook to come in quick cause I'm dying from not drawing these. Adam has concluded I'm addicted to vitamin water. This month was ight. Hopefully I get better next month.
1 note · View note
Text
tagged by @leonard-cohen-the-second so i guess i have no choice lol 
Nickname: they’ve varied over the years. I’ve been called cheesecake (don’t ask), Jiggles (again, don’t ask), and my “family nickname” is bean-bean. my dad was called bean as a kid or something, and somehow i became bean-bean. I’m just a beannnnnn.
Gender: I’m a boss ass bitch, bitch, bitch
Astrological Sign: LEO. IDK about this sun vs moon bs, but my “sun” is leo and thats all i need to know.
Height: 5′6″. anyone that calls me short can STUFF IT
Sexuality: honestly been toying with this lately, but lets just say im the gayest bisexual i know.
Hogwarts House: i’m almost always put in gryffindor, but im a hufflepuff at heart.
Favorite Animals: KANGAROOS AND ZEBRAS. I WILL HUG A KANGAROO ONE DAY. I WONT GET KICKED. IT IS MY DESTINY.
Average Hours of Sleep: depends, usually 6-9 hours a night. 
Number of Blankets: i used to hate using a sheet as a kid, but now i prefer a sheet with my one blanket. i have a LOT of pillows though.
Where I am From: Born in Kansas but lived in North Carolina the majority of my life. Currently live in NC.
Dream Trip: I would LOVE to go to italy, ireland, and canada one day. and just... do whatever i want, to be honest. not worry about expectations, time, money- just do whatever feels right. take in the world.
When I Created this Account: high school? but i barely used it then. Didn’t start using it till college. So, prob created it in 2012 but really started using it in 2014.
Why I Created this Account: I had friends telling me how great tumblr was, so i got on it. but i couldn’t get into it because no one explained to me how it worked. i didnt get it till i got into obsessive fandoms in college, then i found the use of tumblr. 
Followers: I have no clue why people follow me, but thanks for seeing my random shit y’all. its a mess but im  a trashCAN not a trashCANT so
...and I’m too tired to tag people so 
2 notes · View notes
Note
What have been some creepy encounters you've experienced? Story please?
ive waited quite some time to respond to this message, like literally a long ass time lol, probably more than a year, sorry. i feel like i have several encounters to tell you about, but what im going to relay to whomever might be reading this right now is a thing that went on over the course of an entire year.
quick backstory: during the better part of 2017 i lived with my then boyfriend (who now is just my best friend since we broke up in october this year) in the old parts of the city center. all buildings in that area are from around 1870, and the building where we lived is one of the first ones to have been erected. his aparment was on ground level and it has all the features of turn of the century housing with the fireplace, original floors, weird nooks and crannies etc, and looks as if it was meant to be lived in by service people/kitchen personnel. it also had its original door (i suppose) with the kind of springy locking mechanism where you have to turn the key and pull down the handle real hard simultaneously to open from the outside, the knob is very tough to turn from the inside, and it locks itself instantly once you close it (so if you forget your keys youre basically screwed). it makes a loud brassy springy clicking noise when the lock shuts or opens. takes a lot of effort to open this old door and its loud, is what im saying. the entire apartment is all original details, the flooring in the corridor has its original wood planks, original ventilation, weird but beautiful glass panels on the door etc.
the key and the door unlocking from inside
first off, when he moved in, the landlord was missing a key in the set of four. my then boyfriend, lets call him C, didnt really think about it. he moved in, gave his dad one of the extra keys. the first weird thing that happened was when C got back from work in the afternoon maybe two weeks after moving in. in the middle of the corridor, on the floor, he sees the missing key. like smack dab in the middle of the narrow corridor leading from hallway to the bathroom, next to his boots. its too far in to have been thrown in by someone through the letter slot in the door, and could not have been dropped there by neither him nor his father since they had all of their keys. so he’s like, weird, but doesnt really think about it. he also told me that around that time he heard coughing from the corridor when inside his bedroom (it opens up to the right from the corridor once you step inside the apartment), but also waved it off since it might as well have been neighbours just outside in the hall.
next weird thing that happens is after we had started dating and i pretty much lived there with him, and this time i experienced it. i started work around noon whereas C left around 6 in the morning. so im in bed and its maybe 10 o’clock, and i wake up to that loud, springy clicking noise of the locking mechanism in the door. and im like, what is he doing home at this time? so i get up, but no one is there. the door is also juuust a little bit askew, as if someone was going outside but then decided not to, like its just shoved open enough for the lock to click open, but the door isnt opened, its still within the width of the doorframe if you get what i mean. so i look outside and the hall is empty. i should have been able to hear steps in the very echo-y stairwell (which is also old and the acoustics are fantastic because we hear everytime a neighbour passes by, and subsequently opens the building entrance door which is also a loud, heavy door), but heard neither steps, up or down the stairs in the hall, nor anyone opening the heavy entrance door, or any evidence of human activity. all is quiet. i get a bit freaked out, because that means that unless someone else had a key, our door was unlocked from inside.
i tell C when he gets back, and after this is where shit starts to ACTUALLY go down.
im going to try to remember all of this in the correct order, but i know it started in january 2017, and went on until he moved out in december.
the song in the hallway
C talks a lot in his sleep. sometimes he even sings, he speaks in english (we’re swedish) and  he has been known to get up and take a shower at one in the morning while still asleep thinking hes late for work. for those who are on heavy sleeping medication, u get it. its not weird, mostly its funny, and its just because of the medication. these things go on literally every night and it was a bit hard to fall asleep to loud talking and incoherent words sometimes because he used to go to bed three-four hours earlier than me, but i managed just fine. one night we were in bed, it wasnt that late but C was asleep, i was on my phone next to him. i hear this weird melody being hummed, thinking its coming from C i take out my earplugs and check, but its coming from the fucking hallway. again, no one outside in the stairs, just someone or something humming a melody in the hallway. i remember my hair standing up all over my body and i was glad i slept closest to the wall, C shielding me from being viewed directly from the hallway. somehow i manage to fall asleep. and this part is going to sound weird and like its made up, im very aware, but having been through this crap i dont really care because i know it happened: the morning after C was off from work, and i for once woke up before he did. if i wake him up and his medication hasnt ‘wore off’ yet i guess (dont really know how that works) he’ll be disoriented and it takes a few minutes for his brain to register that hes awake and he can speak coherently. i did not poke him, i did not try to wake him up, but all of a sudden i hear him humming that same melody, very much deep asleep. that freaked me out.
the mimicking begins
another night around that time, i was up at around 2-3 am to go to the bathroom. i wiggle out of bed, out into the corridor, at the end of the corridor is the bathroom. when im done, i scurry back into the bedroom, information of value here i guess is i always sleep with my socks on so im wearing socks, aka i dont make a lot of noise when i get up. when im back in bed, looking at my phone, i hear footsteps - from the corridor. the freakiest thing is its like they are imitating the way i walked back from the bathroom, i can so CLEARLY hear sockless, BARE feet on the creaky floor of the hallway, literally stepping at the same pace i did. that was my first thought; someone is imitating my footsteps. i can hear them from behind the wall in the hallway, coming to a stop at the opening into the bedroom. like someone is standing there, watching. i get so scared i hide under the covers and press myself close to C and cant stop feeling icy shivers down my spine. i also cant stop thinking that someone or something waited for me in the kitchen, then walked behind me, mimicking me, and is now standing at the beedroom threshold, watching me. somehow i fall asleep, or i dont, i cant remember.at this point, im thinking somethings up with that hallway.
the poorly covered hole
this part isnt anything scary/supernatural really, just uncomfortable and kinda sets the tone for living in this apartment at the time: in the bedroom, C had placed a clothing rack next to the old 1900s floor-to-ceiling ventilation pipe that is plastered into the wall in the corner. literally just a wide ass pipe in the corner of the room that isnt in use anymore. behind the rack, leaning against the pipe, he had put a rarely used pink neon tube light and i decided it would look cool to try it out, but it was dusty in that little nook thing where it was so i had to clean it up a bit. while moving the clothing rack to vacuum, i realize there is a hole at least as big as my hand in the side of the pipe. i was like ??the frick is this? and i poke into it and there is just this thin paper membrane covering it. you could almost fit an entire head through there, and i can literally feel wafts of cold wind moving through it. there probably used to be an attached pipe of some sort to allow smoke from the kitchen to go up into the ventilation like a hundred years ago, but the thought that this at least 1 meter wide pipe, wide enough to fit a person, goes up through probably all apartments above us, up through the attic, ending as an open chimney in the roof, has this big hole in it is just… unsettling to me. obviously the pipe is not in use anymore, but that kind of only made it scarier. ive seen enough scary movies for that to make me feel a bit paranoid lol. i was almost expecting a hand to push through that paper when i touched it. but i covered it back up with the clothing rack and nothing really happened with that.
the mirror incident
one night, me and C were getting ready to go out. im getting ready in the hallway, because thats where the big wall-sized full figure mirrors are (of course). C comes out of the bathroom, runs past me infront of me, veering off to the left into the bedroom, wearing only underwear. i look after him in the mirror, i can see him in the bedroom, in front of his clothing rack. im fixing my hair at the time, both hands on my head. to my direct left is the front door and the space with our shoes and jackets. right in front of the door, for a split moment while im turning back to keep looking at myself in the mirror, i see what looks exactly like C but paler, wearing only underwear, standing in the same position as me, turned away from me as if the thing is also looking in a mirror. heads on its head like its fixing its hair, just like me. imitating me. i get shivers just typing this down. i tell C what i just saw, i literally went: ”uh C? i just saw a man infront of the door”, dumbfounded, and we both got a bit freaked out, and got out of there pretty quickly.
learning about demons
a few weeks later, C invites his friend to comes to visit. im not there at that time so i never met her, but she apparently had a knack for sensing ghosts and picking up on energies etc. he told me that when he got up to get them more wine from the kitchen and left her alone in the couch in the bedroom, she said she really felt very uncomfortable sitting with her back to the hallway corridor. she also told him that ghosts and spirits are usually not malevolent and you can get by fine living in a ‘haunted’ house. but when he told her what we had experienced so far, she told him that ghosts usually dont behave that way, and that a rule is that if something is imitating or mimicking you, its probably not a ghost, but might be signs of fucking DEMONIC ACTIVITY. apparently demons like to mock and impersonate people. friendly caspers dont do that. fun.
realizing the triangle/cursed ground
so, yeah. weird things kept happening. but we had jobs, sometimes you just gotta ignore that shit and try not to live your life terrified of demons. which we still were for the record; i dont think we ever left each other alone in that apartment for any longer than necessary after that, i remember C actually staying at his dads during the time i went away to see my family.
anyway, when we had started dating C had introduced this podcast to me. its a swedish one where a guy called jack reads creepypastas, analyzes spooky stuff, old folklore, all that stuff, and also reads original content and real stories written by listeners. its really good and really creepy. so that podcast had been going for maybe two years by then so i had a LOT to catch up with, wich wasnt a bad thing at all. i remember by this time is was summer and i was out on the street smoking a cigarette after doing dishes, and the episode i was listening to was about the last of the execution spots/gallow hills (?? i guess is the correct term? not sure) in sweden. remember, we lived in the old part of the city center, in the northern part of the city. very old buildings, very old everything. so jack commences to talk about the famous last gallow hill in [our city] and where it was located, when the final execution took place and for what, how many people had been killed there and its entire bloody history. i almost drop my cigarette, because he says it was located on zenithgatan (”zenith street”), and where the gallows used to be there is now a kindergarten. so im on our street, just outside our kitchen windows, looking right at that specific kindergarten. just across the main road. i will provide a screenshot of a map and a street view of what i was looking at to let you know i am not making this up:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
so the street we lived on is called döbelnsgatan (”döbeln street”, döbeln is apparently a city in germany, i just googled that), at the very end of the street, our citys main old cemetary is juuust beyond our line of sight to the right from the kitchen windows and where i was standing. however, across from us: zenithgatan, with all of its bloody history. i couldnt help but to wonder how far the blood could had flown from there and where the bodies had been thrown, if this entire part of town is built on bloody ground etc. it really gave me massive creeps.
a few years later (which would be a few months ago, when i moved in to the room where i live presently) i happened to land a conversation about ghosts with my new flatmate. turns out she also used to live in those neighbourhoods, in an apartment on the third floor literally overlooking the cemetary, but on celciusgatan, which would be the next street over from döbelnsgatan (see map). and she told me, without me having said anything at all about all of this, that that part of town including her apartment has always been haunted. she used to see a shadow of a man through frosted glass doors, moving around in rooms that were closed when both she and her son and her sister were in the kitchen. she didnt experience any malice however, and also had someone come check it out for her, but apparently she just had nice ghosts. but we agreed that yeah, these buildings are literallty inbetween a cemetary and the gallows; there are probably bound to be a lot of lost souls wandering around.
this could also be over-analyzing it, but if you draw lines from the cemetary to the site of the executions to döbelnsgatan/celciusgatan, it makes a perfect triangle. while googling the translation of ‘döbeln’ just now it says right in the wikipedia description that it is located ‘somewhat in the middle of a triangle, made up by three cities’. coincidence, perhaps. probably. but still. by now im pretty conviced of anything that could hold any significance about all of this.
Tumblr media
the painting
later on, maybe by a few months, and C tells me when i get home from work that he had woken up that day, after i went to work, from the painting atop of his big secretaire/chiffonier/bookcase (its really a big piece of heavy furtinure, but lets call it bookcase just to be simple) coming crashing down behind it. that painting had stood there since january, at least 9-10 months, and had not fallen down ONCE. it was leaning against the wall, perched safely and steady on the bookcase, with at least a centimeter bookcase until the gap between wall and furniture. i remember thinking last time i looked it was covered in dust because no one even as much as dusted that thing off, and there had been no weird vibrations in the walls that would have shook it either. by this point we’re both very, very uncomfortable in this apartment.
the painting and the hollow in the wall
and here comes the final thing that happened before he moved out, the part that we have on film. ill have to ask my ex for the footage if anyones interested in it, which is fine.
C was doing a collaboration with some people on instagram, an educational account about depression, self-harm, anxiety and such. they gave him the assignment to film himself talking about personal experiences, i think they wanted maybe 13 videos or something like that, the theme being ‘death’ (those videos are still up, im unsure if they posted this one as it kind of strayed from the mental health stuff a bit, but i know C has it still). so at this time - maybe september or october? i really dont know exactly when this was, i could probably scroll on their instagram account but im too lazy - he was filming himself a lot. so, he brought up the painting crashing, and filmed us both while demonstrating how it physically could not have moved and crashed down behind the bookcase because of the way it stood on top of it. it would have been one thing if it fell forward, but then it would have landed on its front and fallen in front of the bookcase, probably shattered the glass. but it fell BEHIND it. on camera, you can see my hands pushing on it to demonstrate the way it went down into that snug space inbetween. you would have had to physically push on it, at least a centimeter back, from the front. so for some reason, i get the very random idea to knock on the wall behind it. which means, i stand in the corridor and knock on the corridor wall that divides the bedroom from the hallway. and i swear to god, this is ON FILM. i knock all over the wall and its all concrete - except for THE SPOT EXACTLY BEHIND THE FUCKING PAINTING. the wall is hollow. right behind the painting. where it stood leaned against on the other side. i cant explain why i all of a sudden tried knocking all over the wall, or why the actual fuck there is a hollow square in the middle of the corridor wall, but that really fucked us up. there were just too many weird coincidences, you know.
like, all of this happened, or seemed to be centered around, the corridor. as if our hallway was some nexus for supernatural activity. and with that hollow thing, it was like it was starting to make its way into the bedroom, you know? unsettling.
thankfully, C moved out of there in december and we didnt have to stay there anymore, but i sometimes pass by and think about asking the current tenant or the neighbours if they experienced anything strange. its just so eerie. the mimicking parts were the scariest to me, and i get chills thinking about them and reading it even now.
so, thats my long, long overdue creepy encounter. i am VERY aware i sound insane but, hey. what can i do. i am not one for lying and i know that so thats all that matters tbh. i have other encounters as well, but living in that apartment takes the fucking cake.
1 note · View note