#divine hag of the ashes

[miri-tiazan]

#brb about to make this my entire personality #divine hag of the ashes #aspirational

[trilliansthoughts]

Imbolc

Imbolc is celebrated from February 1st until sundown on February 2nd and signifies the beginning of spring in the Celtic calendar. Imbolc marks the halfway point between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox and is one of several Pagan festivals that highlight some aspect of winter and sunlight to herald the change of seasons.

The celebration of Imbolc dates to pre-Christian times and the earliest mentions in Irish literature are found in the 10th century. Poetry from that time connects the holiday to ewe’s milk, with the implication of purification. As this ritual stems from the breeding cycle of sheep and the beginning of lactation, Imbolc traditionally aligned with the first day of spring and the idea of rebirth. The most common explanation for the etymology of Imbolc is from the Old Irish i mbolc meaning 'in the belly' and refers to pregnant ewes at this time of year.

In Neolithic times, Imbolc celebrations honoured the Pagan goddess Brigid, who was invoked in fertility rites and was also the goddess of poetry, crafts, and healing. Brigid was worshipped by the Filidh, the Celtic poets and historians of ancient Ireland. Brigid is one of the most powerful Celtic gods and is the daughter of the Dagda, the oldest god in the Celtic pantheon of the Tuatha Dé Danann. Modern-day Pagans set up an Imbolc altar to celebrate Brigid with a corn husk doll, white flowers, a bowl of milk, and candles. A group gathering casts a circle and recites invocations to receive a blessing from Brigid.

Brigid was said to visit homes on the eve of the Imbolc festival. To receive her blessings, an effigy of the goddess was crafted from rushes and oats, clad in pieces of cloth and flowers, and put in a basket overnight, with gifts of food and drink. Brigid was evoked to protect homes and livestock and items of clothing were left outside for her to bless. On Imbolc, the effigy of Brigid, known as a Brídeóg or Biddy, was paraded around the community by girls and young women. Sometimes, a young girl took on the role of Brigid and went from house to house wearing a crown, and carrying a shield, both made from rushes.

Over the centuries, Brigid was adopted by Christianity as Saint Brigid to become one of Ireland’s three patron saints along with Saint Patrick and Saint Colmcille. Saint Brigid is said to have lived in the 6th century and founded the important monastery of Kildare. While there are many stories about her, there are few historical facts. In the 12th century, legend holds that the nuns in Kildare attended to a fire built in Saint Brigid’s honour. The fire had burned for 500 years and produced no ash, and only women were allowed in proximity of the fire.

Imbolc rituals still include burning lamps and lighting bonfires in tribute to Brigid, who is associated with both milk and fire. Although there is some debate that Saint Brigid was a separate historical figure who shares the same name as the Celtic goddess, many scholars maintain that they are the same person with the later saint based on the earlier Pagan deity. As with many Pagan traditions and festivals, the names and dates were often adopted by Christianity to make the new faith more acceptable.

Imbolc is also believed to be when the Cailleach, the divine hag of Gaelic tradition, gathers firewood for the rest of winter. If she wishes to make the winter last longer, the weather on Imbolc is bright and sunny, so she can gather plenty of firewood. However, if Imbolc is a day of bad weather, it means the Cailleach is asleep, and winter is almost over.

On February 1st, people display a Brigid’s cross woven from rushes gathered by rivers and ponds. Traditionally, the cross is set over doorways and windows to welcome Brigid and protect the home from any kind of harm. Brigid’s Day parades and “Biddy’s Day” festivals are still held in some towns around Ireland, and it is also traditional to visit a holy well, praying for good health while walking clockwise around the well.  

#Imbolc #Brigid #St. Brigid #Saint Brigid #Brigid's Day #Celtic #Pagan #Ireland #Mythology

[jkottke]

Writer Adam Sharp has made a list of how you’d say couch potato in 8 other languages including divine hag of the ashes (Irish), slipper guy (Italian), and armchair fungus (Flemish). Collect all 8!

[darkobssessions]

I want my body to rot.

Loose skin and sagging breasts

lips thinned by the years of laughter

every line untucked and carved deep.

I want to be so wrinkled and withered

that the AI can’t even identify a face

to smooth and plump

and your $86 serum drowns itself

in my crow’s feet.

My divine feminine doesn’t need

jade eggs or goddess codes

she doesn’t need to up-level

her mind, body or orgasms

by finally investing

in your five figure quantum transmissions

or finding a man to surrender to.

She’s an old hag

Sheela-na-gig

her vulva sagging to her knees

Baba Yaga

lighting your way

with a burning skull.

She’s the dirt between your toes

the thunder clapping on a July afternoon

the ocean breaking on your thighs.

She’s singing 90s R&B

with the volume all the way up

while going 90 on the highway.

I want my belly soft and supple

full from an appetite satiated

by giant bowls of pasta

Sunday morning lovin’

long naps in the afternoon

choosing a slow burn

over hustle

every time.

I want my success measured

in joy and rest and pleasure

in how well I protect my peace

and how much I savored

the small moments.

I am the wildflowers and weeds

fucking up the clean edges

of your manicured lawn.

I am a raging maiden

the mother who birthed all of creation

a crone witch cackling at the audacity

of being a dangerous old woman

and loving it.

I am Lilith crashing your dinner party

with an apple pie

after you invited Eve

to wash your dishes.

When I die

I want my body to rot.

Let me be good meat

for the vultures

until I am nothing but

bone and memory

and grind me down

into an ancestor of the land.

I want to melt back into the dirt

that gets stuck under your nails

and muddies your feet

good soil for the next harvest.

I want mycelium sprouting from my decay

feeding the oaks and ash

and psychedelic epiphanies.

I want to dissolve

back down

into everything

and nothing

all at once.

~ Gina Puorro : https://ginapuorro.com: Gina M. Puorro - Writer

[recoveringpsychotic]

New Year Forecast Spread

Summary of Year Gone - (Modern Witch Tarot/MWT) - Ace of Pentacles/The world around you is full of possibilities and promise. Engage with it. Live your life and let good things come to you.

Career Outlook - (Pride Tarot) - The Fool/Innocence and new beginnings, optimism, and hole. Hiker with dog by their side.

Financial Outlook - (Pride Tarot) - Six of Wands - keywords: victory, achievement, success, well-deserved recognition, praise, approval; supportive environment. Don't forget to uplift and support those who need it to be heard. [Donate those who don't have a voice]

Love Outlook - (African Goddess Oracle/AGO) - Soucouyant/Shadow of Scarcity [air] Trinidad -AKA Boo Hag. You have more than you realize. Scarcity and lacm are an illusion. My blessings always overflow.

Family/Friends Outlook - (AGO) - Yemaya/Goddess of Awakening [water/High Priestess] Yoruba/Nigeria. You have chosen to lift the veil and have a real relationship with the Divine. "I am receiving and radiating love."

Spirituality Outlook - (AGO) - Jumbie/Shadow of Masks [Air] Carribean. Where is the lie? Get quiet to get clear. Show hour true face. Dare to reveal yourself. "I am willing to remove the mask."

Jan-Mar Outlook - (Buffy the Vampire Slayer Tarot/BtVST) - Death/The Gentlemen - Change is coming. You can get the creeps out of your life; painful memories, outdated beliefs, and toxic relationships. Find your voice.

Apr-Jun Outlook - (BtVST) - Five of Stakes - Seek value in conflict to uplift underrepresented voices, and rise above the pack.

Jul-Sept Outlook - (BtVST) - Two of Pentacles - You've got your plate full. Slow down. Yes you have tons of responsibility but you won't get anything done if you don't create time to be organized.

Oct-Dec Outlook - (BtVST) - Page of Pentacles - Novice, inexperienced beginnings. Learning new skills. Time for self improvement, focusing on health & new hobbies.

Biggest Obstacle You Will Face - (Wisdom From the Dragon Realms Tarot/WFDRT) - Eight of Pentacles - Each coin pentacle is better made, showing evolution from novice to master artisan. You're still a journeyman. With time and practice you can mold your world.

How To Tackle That Obstacle - (WFDRT) - Ten of Swords - Grieving dragon challenges the storm. Sbe is a survivor and will move kn. The final blow has been struck, now you are passing through a landscape of ruin, grief, and devastation. This is moment of the ultimate letting go. Get up. Learn. Survive.

Overview of the Year Ahead - (MWT) - The Tower - Disaster has struck. There is nothing we can do as we watch it's destruction. The pain of sharp rocks below is unavoidable. Sudden massive and probably painful change is on the horizon. From the ashes, a pheonix. Tragedy can help us grow stronger. Fee your pain, dont ignore it.

#NewYearForecast Spread #Multideck spread #Annual prep

[tamrieldrifter]

Double, double toil and trouble

Few people live day to day without some sense of a continuing story, a pathway to either Aetherius or Oblivion. Nowhere in Tamriel was that more evident then in the Temple District of the Imperial City, said to be the home of a thousand cults. The only real difference between a cult and a religion is political advocacy, and whilst the Temple of the One may for now still be dedicated to Akatosh, the longer this Daedric occupation lasts, the greater the prospect that it becomes rededicated to Molag Bal; and the Worm Cult may become not only a religion, but the only religion.

Sister J'Reeza has watched on helplessly as the Daedra have desecrated temples, smashed relics, and imprisoned clergy. She now has a plan however to stop the monsters from destroying more religious artefacts, yet rather ironically it requires the use of old pagan magics The Khajiit priestess wants me to kill Grievous Twilights that roam the streets and cut off their claws. After anointing them with ritual wine and then burning them in a sanctified brazier, I am to sprinkle their ashes over casks of consecrated oils which should be enough to save them from the impious claws of the Daedra.

When I think of witchcraft, my first thoughts turn either to the foul hags of the Reach, or the somewhat fairer, yet not no less ill-disposed Wyrd Covens of High Rock. There is something to be admired about a people who when most in need wait not upon a miracle from the Divines, but instead provide themselves with miracles of their own making.

S.K

#642 #The Elder Scrolls Online #RPG Adventure #Imperial City #TamrielDrifter #ESO #Screenshots #ESORP #The Elder Scrolls

[thecreaturecodex]

Forchoreai

“Forest God” © Cosme Lucero, accessed at their ArtStation here

[The planes in D&D have been through several iterations. In 1e, the Neutral Good with Chaotic tendencies plane was called the Happy Hunting Ground, named after something that white people made up and claimed were Native American beliefs (notably, the phrase first appears in James Fenimore Cooper). So it’s for the best that its name changed to the Beastlands in 2e, and that in general its description has been good at avoiding Native American stereotypes. At least since the Planescape days. I haven’t read the 1e Manual of the Planes.

I bring this up because the forchorai, from “Creature Catalog 3″, is a denizen of that plane. Its overall vibe reminds me of the Ceryneian hind and other uncatchable animals from Greek mythology, as well as Tanngrisnir and Tanngnjóstr, the goats that Thor kills, eats and resurrects every day. It appears to be a wholly original creation of Peter Zelinski.]

Forchoreai CR 8 NG Magical Beast This majestic stag stands taller than a man at the shoulder, with pearlescent antlers. It has a calm, benevolent expression.

Agathions are spiritual creatures, but those modeled on carnivorous animals still feel the need to hunt as part of embodying the virtues and values of their type. Celestial animals do eat each other as they roam the wilds of Nirvana, but also turn their attention to greater game. One of these empyreal prey animals are the forchoreai—sacred, magical stags that are born to die and be renewed in the process of the hunt. Each forchoreai is philosophical about its deaths, as it knows that it will return and be all the wiser for the experience. When not being hunted, a forchoreai may act as a guide for mortals traveling through the wilds of Nirvana.

A forchoreai is more interested in fleeing than in fighting, both in order to preserve its life as long as possible but also to pose a worthy challenge for those that would hunt them. They are not slowed by thick vegetation, and often talk to animals and plants in their environment in order to gather intelligence about local hazards and terrain they can use to their advantage. Most forchoreai have a sense of sportsmanship, and only use their magical powers, such as invisibility or mirror image, against similarly magical foes instead of against mere celestial animals. They fight when cornered, or if attacked by a truly evil creature rather than a hungry predator or animal exemplar.

Forchoreai all have antlers, regardless of sex. These antlers are coated in mother-of-pearl and are fantastically beautiful, as well as being functional weapons. When slain, the antlers of the creature remain, and are an art object worth the average treasure value of a CR 8 encounter. If the forchoreai is killed permanently (such as by an evil weapon or in the area of a desecrate spell), the antlers crumble to ash. Some fiends and hags value this material for making cursed versions of healing items, such as potions of poison or periapts of foul rotting.

Forchoreai               CR 8 XP 4,800 NG Large magical beast (extraplanar) Init +13; Senses darkvision 60 ft., Perception +23 Defense AC 21, touch 15, flat-footed 21 (-1 size, +5 Dex, +6 natural, +1 dodge) hp 95 (10d10+40); fast healing 2 Fort +11, Ref +12, Will +7 SR 18 (25 vs. divinations) Defensive Abilities freedom of movement, rejuvenation, uncanny dodge Offense Speed 60 ft. Melee gore +14 (4d6+7), 2 hooves +9 (1d6+2) Space 10 ft.; Reach 5 ft. Special Attacks pearlescent antlers Spell-like Abilities CL 10th, concentration +13 Constant—freedom of movement, nondetection, speak with animals At will—detect snares and pits, speak with plants 3/day—invisibility, mirror image, pass without trace, quickened protection from evil 1/day—heal (DC 19), tree stride Statistics Str 21, Dex 20, Con 19, Int 14, Wis 18, Cha 17 Base Atk +10; CMB +16; CMD 32 (36 vs. trip) Feats Alertness, Dodge, Improved Initiative, Quicken SLA (protection from evil), Run Skills Acrobatics +14 (+26 when jumping), Knowledge (nature) +8, Perception +23, Sense Motive +12, Stealth +20, Survival +12, Swim +12; Racial Modifiers +8 Perception, +8 Stealth Languages Celestial, Common, Elven, Sylvan, speak with animals SQ insightful reactions Ecology Environment any forests and plains (Nirvana) Organization solitary Treasure special (see above) Special Abilities Insightful Reactions (Ex) A forchoreai adds its Wisdom modifier to initiative checks. Pearlescent Antlers (Su) A forchoreai’s gore attack is treated as magic and good for the purposes of overcoming damage reduction. Rejuvenation (Su) A slain forchoreai returns to life without penalty 3 days after it is slain. A forchoreai can only die permanently if slain with evil-aligned weapons, or in the area of a desecrate or unhallow spell.

#forchoreai #dragon magazine #D&D #pathfinder 1e #Manual of the Planes

[julandran]

They said, “No.”

It started as a bit of a joke. “We are The Mighty Nein.” Big no. Hard pass. The unwanted underdogs. The players and characters poked fun at Liam/Caleb’s accent, so he gently poked back. And yet…

It stuck. It became an ethos. Standing up for the little guy. Leaving a place just a little bit better than you found it. Doing what’s right, even if you have to work with someone of questionable morals, break a few unjust laws, or risk an international incident along the way. And most of all, standing up for each other.

In their finest moments, the Nein have protected each of their members from threats big and small, and even from themselves. They shielded Nott/Veth from anti-goblin bigotry and from her own alcohol-fueled recklessness. Since her transformation back to her original halfling form, they have done everything in their power to ensure that she can return to her family when the adventuring is done. They have backed up Beau as she sorted out her complex relationships with both the Cobalt Soul and her family, helped her explore possible paths outside those spheres, and reminded her of her value to the group when she needed it. They have guided Caleb out of the shadows and ashes of guilt he was wallowing in, and stood by his side as he confronted the monsters from his childhood. They have shown Jester that there is value in her joy and mischief, but it’s also okay to express her sadness and anger. They have let Fjord find his way to who he wants to be, offering advice or magical implements in times of need, but mostly just accompanying him on the journey with acceptance. They have coaxed Yasha out of her shell, helping her to remember and process the tragedies of her past, while showing her that she is not disposable by freeing her from physical and mental captivity, and refusing to blame her for actions she didn’t choose. They have brought Caduceus out into the world to see more of the Wildmother’s domain, and allowed him to consider that obligations are not always what we have been led to believe they are.

And Molly… oh, and Molly.

They never gave up on Molly. After he died, they honored his legacy while holding onto a spark of hope that he would rise again as he had once before. After the Tomb Takers brought Lucien back in all his selfish, egotistical glory, The Mighty Nein persisted in their belief that Mollymauk was still a part of him that could be brought forth and saved. They believed it so hard – and continued to ask for it in the midst of the Astral Sea, where dreams can be made manifest, and the gods are less restrained by the Divine Gate – that they made it true. They clung so tightly to their friend that they loved him back into existence like the Velveteen Rabbit. They entered the final fight in Cognouza with eight party members and came out with nine.

The Nonagon and the Somnovem wanted power. Wanted control over all of existence for a host of disparate reasons. And the Mighty Nein said, “No.”

Uk’otoa wanted freedom, to carry out its purpose of destruction and domination. The Mighty Nein said, “No.” Avantika wanted a fraction of that power granted by proximity and loyalty to the leviathan. And the Mighty Nein said, “No.”

Trent Ikithon wanted power – arcane, political, and personal. He wanted Bren back under his thumb. He wanted Essek under his control as a means of influencing the Kryn Dynasty, as well. The Mighty Nein severed the tendrils of his web one by one, saying over and over, “No.”

Whether they faced a single nergaliid, a small pack of regular gnolls, a complex community of pirates, a powerful hag, the governments of warring nations, or a hive-mind of ancient archmages inhabiting a living city, The Mighty Nein have rarely hesitated to stand up for what they knew to be right. And when faced with circumstances they knew to be wrong…

they…

said…

“No.”

Big no. Hard pass. A mighty “Nein!”

#Critical Role meta #The Mighty Nein #my darlings #trying so hard to do the right thing #Critical Role #season 2 #spoilers #long text post #queued

[onewaywardwaif]

Welsh Folk Customs : Calan Gaeaf

Http://Dunbrython.wordpress.com

(Copied from the Dunbrython blog - discontinued but a fantastic archive )

Many of the seasonal customs recorded in rural communities have their roots in stories and folklore well established for generations before they took the shapes identified in those recording them. Some may go back to even older observances with mythological origins.The coming of winter, or Calan Gaeaf, is resonant with tales and images that reflect deeply embedded responses to the shortening days and the coming of the longer, darker, nights. We are all familiar with the modern practices of ‘trick or treat’ at ‘Hallowe’en’ and the associated paraphernalia of ghoul masks and scary images. Older customs were less eager to engage so familiarly with the darker denizens of the night, or at least preferred to do so with more respect than is shown by modern revellers. There was, however, a custom of calling at houses asking for food on behalf of the ‘messengers of the dead’. No tricks here but some bread, cheese and apples were a welcome treat.Apparently benign customs such as apple bobbing provided the amusement of watching people trying to eat apples floating in tubs of water or dangling from strings without using their hands. Bonfires were lit and while they burned food could be cooked or nuts thrown into the flames for the purposes of making predictions from the way they burned. But as the fires burned low and gradually went out, more serious divinations might be attempted from the ashes as the dark closed in.It was on the way home from such bonfire events that the sort of spirits represented by the modern ghoul masks might be encountered. But they were to be avoided rather than imitated. On such a night the Cwn Annwn might be encountered. These are familiar to readers of the Mabinogi stories as the red-eared hounds of the otherworld king Arawn. But their appearance on the folklore tradition is often much more sinister. They are variously described, but their red ears often have an eerie glow and they sometimes also have fire-red eyes. Marie Trevelyan describes them as follows:Sometimes they travelled in weird packs alone, but frequently they were guided by their master. He is described as a dark, almost black, gigantic figure, with a horn slung around his swarthy neck, and a long hunting-pole at his back….. sometimes with a creature half wolf / half dog with him. There too is the Brenin Llwyd or Grey King with the Cŵn Wybyr, or Dogs of the Sky, in his court of mist.Here, although he is not named, is a memory of Gwyn ap Nudd in different guises slipping through the mist between the worlds, his hounds held in check as it is said in the medieval Welsh tale Culhwch and Olwen that he ‘contains the essence of the devils of Annwn in him, lest this world be destroyed’. Such devils are not to be held up as figures of fun, but treated with respect, as they surely would have been by those coming home from the Calan Gaeaf bonfires.Another creature they might have feared is the Hwch Ddu Gwta (Black Short-tailed Sow), an otherworld pig who it was said emerged from the bonfire ash and then waited at stiles for those walking home late from the festivities.  She is remembered in this old Welsh nursery rhyme:

Hwch Ddu Gwta Ar bob camfa Yn nyddu a cardio Bob Nos Glangaea … Adre, adre, am y cynta Hwch Dddu Gwta gipio’r ola.

📷

Black short-tailed sow On every stile Spinning and weaving On Calan Gaeaf night… Get home quick, be the first

The Hwch Ddu Gwta gets the last.

Who spins and weaves by stiles on such a night? Perhaps the ‘Ladi Wen’ (White Lady) another spirit who was said to be abroad at Calan Gaeaf, and who might she be but Ceridwen, mother of Afagddu (‘Deep Dark’), keeper of the cauldron from which Taliesin gained inspiration and acknowledged by the early medieval Welsh bards as the source of their awen. But she is perilous. Like the Cailleach of Irish and Scottish tradition she is the wise crone but also the Hag of Winter, embodying the very darkness itself as winter falls. Her name is ambiguous, with the possible range of ‘crooked hag’ , ‘woman who brings fever’, ‘passionate one’. As well as the mother of Afagddu she also has a daughter Creirwy (‘living treasure’) who was ‘the fairest maiden in the world’, and whose name might might be related to Ceridwen’s own name. Here we have the hag who becomes a young woman when kissed by a chosen suitor, common in folklore and in medieval literature. So she is the mother both of darkness and of all that is fair. Her cauldron is the cauldron of unmaking, the darkness which must be embraced if rebirth is to be possible. Her withered lips that must be kissed set the seal on winter and the potential of the far-off spring. She contains all in her cauldron.This is the parable of Calan Gaeaf, of Winterfall, of the Grey Mari (who appears later in the winter festivals as the ghostly horse’s head of the Mari Lwyd customs), of the Black Sow, of the Mother of Darkness who brings the night out of her cauldron and from which the season can be re-born if the devils of Annwn can be contained by the Lord of the Otherworld in the Kingdom of Mist; but we must bide the time for this to be so and not deny them in either trick or treat as they flit through the dark , but keep the season with them, and for them, as they pass.

#Welsh folklore #Calan Gaeaf #halloween #Samhain #Paganism #Polytheism

[timextoxhajima]

HOSTIS, Chapter XVII.5: Inevitabilis, Inevitable

HOSTIS PLAYLIST: WONHO - LOSING YOU

Previous Chapter (XVII: Et Universum Parallel)

Member: Lee Hyunjae (tbz) 

Genre (by chapter): drama, angst

Category: Short Novel/Long Series

Dana’s A/N: this is a special piece written by @vxstarlightxv​ who has been feeding me ideas to fuel this story. i did not write this chapter, i only merely proof-read it/gave her tips etc, but otherwise the beauty of this chapter will never be able to be my own original work.

P.S: if you’re emotional, please keep a box of tissues with you 

“there is no escape from you, not now, not ever. you are inevitable.”

The day the kids at school start calling you Ares is the day Hyunjae loses faith in humanity. You are a spineless, low-life coward, who hardly deserves to be bestowed with the same title as himself. Yet here you are, acting as though you were worth being on the same plane as him.

He hates you. Oh god, he truly does.

He remembers the way you fucked him over so well and thoroughly, and in front of the whole school that too. Granted, he may have screwed with your equipment, but maybe if you didn’t suck so bad you wouldn’t have failed.

Blaming him for your shortcomings. How typical.

But showing Minhee ​that picture of the accidental kiss (that meant ​nothing​) for the sole purpose of destroying his relationship? That was a bitch move right there. So he has no regrets when he posts a cleverly edited picture of your lab teacher with his girlfriend. None at all. In fact, the sight of your tears when that himbo Younghoon dumps you is something that brings him delight.

His heart definitely did not twist when he saw you cry, because he definitely does not care. You hurt him, and it’s only fair that you’re hurting too.

Nonetheless, he is pleasantly surprised at how fast you bounce back. His breakup with Minhee was a huge watery mess, and he cannot help his grudging admiration for your strength when you power through your own with Younghoon.

It is only admiration, for he definitely still hates you.

When the time comes to choose a medical school, he chooses the one that seems the furthest away from you. But fate hates him, so after 4 years of respite, he is dumped back on your doorstep as your fellow intern in the neurology department.

Of all the fucky coincidences.

~~~

Ares is a brutal god. He is the fire of war, wild and relentless.

Hyunjae is furious when he finds out you’ve stolen his report, but he’s not surprised. Not when he would’ve done the same thing. Then again, he was kind of hoping you would leave him alone. Naturally, you’ve done the opposite. He wonders if his emotional response is a little… disproportionate, given the situation, but he’s not going to let you fuck him over like this and escape unscathed. He isn’t a fucking pussy, your thoughts on the matter be damned.

Silly little kitten. Put your paws in the fire, and watch the heat bubble your skin.

He is simmering as he bangs on your door. He hears you screaming some nonsense about your mother, but he’s too pissed to process anything. You open the door, face falling as you see him. He cannot help but reach out a hand and grab you by your pretty throat.

He shoves you into the house, fuelled by the magnitude of his anger. You’ve hurt his pride, made a fool out of him in front of Dr Kim. He wants to shred you to pieces, get you on your knees and rip the apologies from your mouth.

Tonight you will understand why the other gods fear the wrath of Ares.

 ~~~

Hyunjae replays the encounter in his head as he drives home. He has never once considered you as anything but an enemy. But today, something of seismic proportion has shifted in your dynamic.

The flutter of your lips against his, like butterfly wings on a flower. The warmth of your chest against his in a tight alcove, hiding from Dr Shin. The way you felt when you took him in, the way you cried when he hit every single spot that made your toes curl. The way you purred when he called you kitten and mewled as you fell apart on his cock.

In retrospect, he hopes that he didn’t hurt you. He usually likes to stick around for aftercare, but he didn’t want to ruin your pride even more. You’d already been dealt with a devastating blow, and he didn’t want to make it worse, regardless of how big of a dick you think he is.

(Ring, ring)

The sharp blare of his ringtone shatters the silence of his ride home. He glances at the screen, smiling when he sees the caller id.

“What’s up, Juyeonie? Are you finally back?” Hyunjae is thrilled to hear his best friend’s voice. Juyeon is very busy these days, being a commercial pilot and all, so these rare moments they have with each other are more precious than gold.

“Hey, hyung! Yes I am! On that note, are you free next Friday? Let’s get drinks and catch up!” Juyeon sounds so eager and hopeful that Hyunjae can’t help but say yes, no matter how packed his schedule might be. The rest of the conversation proceeds pleasantly, and he is happy to forget the day’s drama.

It is only when he reaches home that he realises that the thought of you has never quite left his head.

~~~

“So what happened? The last I heard, she left you high and dry in JFK.” 

He watches as feline eyes crinkle with delight at his question. His friend launches into a happy tirade about his mystery girl, going on and on about fate and chance encounters and love lost and found. Hyunjae listens carefully, admiring the way Juyeon has changed. He wonders for a moment if he'll ever experience something as profound as Juyeon has, will ever wake up one day knowing that his heart sits in the palms of another person, and will not fear the idea.

The image of your eyes dancing with wicked laughter arises unbidden, and it punches the breath out of him.

He is jostled out of his thoughts when a hand lands on his thigh. It is so abrupt, so sudden that he all but jumps out of his skin.

“Long time no see, stranger.”

Choi Minhee is standing in front of him, batting her mascara-painted eyelashes at him seductively. She is as pretty as ever, with her delicate collarbones and anime-girl eyes.

But she is not you.

The thought is so dreadful and unsettling that he cannot help but flirt with her the whole night in order to get it out of his head.

When have you become anything but an annoyance, anything but a pest that’s been shoved down his throat?

It is pleasant, talking to someone who he hasn’t met in a long time. He remembers her fondly, despite how miserable their parting was. Minhee is soft and kind, a gentle cherry-blossom compared to your ever-burning inferno. She complements him well (not perfectly, because only ​one​person does), and for a second he feels white-hot annoyance at you for fucking him over in this regard. Hyunjae cannot help but wonder if they would have been married by now had you not intervened with that photo. Would they be living the white-picket fence dream? What would their kids have looked like?

All he can see are children with your ash-brown hair and his almond eyes. The image causes his gut to clench so tightly that he wonders if something inside him might have cracked open.

“Have you and Y/N gotten together yet? I figured that after we broke up the two of you would end up going out. You were always kinda obsessed with each other.” The question jolts him out of his reverie. Juyeon, who has been listening politely so far, decides to insert himself into the conversation.

“Yeah, hyung. The two of you have always had something special, right? What was that stupid nickname we gave you? Paris and Helen?”

The irony is not lost to him. Enemies, being compared to the two greatest lovers of all time. A face that launched a thousand ships, a blaze of love that destroyed a nation. Only fools succumb to Aphrodite, the cruelest of the divine hosts.

“Ares and Ares. And for fuck’s sake, I will never be attracted to that hag. You won’t believe what she did at work last week-”

Hyunjae misses the knowing look Minhee and Juyeon exchange. He’s only seeing you.

~~~

If there is one thing that Hyunjae hates, it is surprises. So he really, really hates it when he sees you flirting with the intern as though ​he ​doesn’t exist.

The day had actually started off pretty well. He came into work feeling all pleased with himself. Not only did he break you down, but he also figured out a solid way to keep you in line. You were reacting beautifully to his taunts, and seeing you unable to walk made something vicious inside him preen.

And then, before he can breathe, you are making stupid cow-eyes at the snot-faced little intern as though he created entire galaxies in your honour.

How dare you, honestly? You’re wearing ​his ​hickeys on your neck, limping and ​sore because ​he​ripped you apart last night. How can you even ​think​of flirting with another man? Are you doing this on purpose, to get some semblance of power back?

This is not jealousy. It definitely is NOT jealousy because that would mean he would have to be attracted to your hideous hag face. No, it was an issue of pride. And no, he definitely was not deluding himself right now.

Nonetheless, watching Eric help you into his car after work makes him want to vomit.

~~~

It is the party incident that truly knocks it into his head. He spends the entire night seething over your flirtations with Eric, with even ​Sangyeon. He glares at you, but you pretend to not see, and it shoves him off the edge.

Why won’t you look at him? A room full of people, but you are the only one he sees. So why aren’t you seeing him too?

He reminds you that night, who is the only one who knows how to pick you apart, snap you in half. He reminds you who is the only one who can make your body thrum and vibrate, who is the only one who can coax tears from your eyes and pleasured sobs from your throat. But he is also tender with you after, because under that diamond-hard exterior is a heart wrapped in silks and satin. Hurting you is the last thing he wants to do.

It is only when he wakes up alone in the morning that he realises that maybe, just maybe, he wishes he could see you in his bed again, hair spilled across the sheets as your breathing slowly evens out into slumber. He wants to coo over your keening wails, drink the moans from your mouth.

A thought, fleeting and profound, surfaces.

He wants you to be his.

~~~

He goes to work on Sunday with iron resolve. He has spent the entirety of Saturday thinking hard about you, and the relationship you shared with him. The line between obsession and infatuation is a thin one, one that the two of you have been dancing on for 10 whole years. When did his foot slip? When did the late nights plotting revenge mutate into candied dreams of your lips, of your body, singing for him?

But of course, who else could it be? You have always been, will always be, his forever other half.

Ares and Ares, locked in their death dance. But when did Ares become Aphrodite? War has become Love, and Love has become War.

Somewhere along the way, something has gone wrong. At some point or the other, he has forgotten the hatred that sizzled through him like blazing poison. He has forgotten that you are annoying, that you are competitive, and that you get revenge in the sleaziest ways possible. He has forgotten everything, because all that remains is the way your smile looks like a flashing ray of sunlight, like a tendril of shimmering starlight. All that remains is the sound of your wind chime laughter, the softness of your small hands on his heated skin. All that remains is the memory of how good you are for him, how addictive the juxtaposition between your submissive sweetness in bed and your fiery heat outside of it is.

So he decides that he is going to make you his. Granted, the order of things was completely wrong, but he would fix it. He would cook you dinner, press kisses onto your cherry mouth, and then love you till morning comes. And then he would repeat it every day, till the day the two of you are cradled in the eternal embrace of death.

Surely, surely you reciprocate his feelings? How can you not, when your body weeps for him the way it does?

He likes to think you do, when he admires the way your eyes flutter closed when he steals kisses in the pantry. He likes to think you do, when you stay four hours past your shift and order takeaway for him. He likes to think you do, when you dangle Eric in front of him in order to get him to fuck you ​hard,​just the way you like it.

You are his, now.

~~~

Hyunjae’s love for you grows like tender flowers. It starts off small, but grows into something lovely and heartbreaking. You have carved your way into him, nestling against the walls of his heart and beseeching him to let you in with your stupid almond eyes.

He loves your stupid almond eyes.

He is on a cloud these days, brimming with affection that lights up his every step. He never considered himself to be one of those annoying, lovey-dovey honeymooners, but he can definitely see where they get their joy from.

Lovers alone wear sunlight.

You become his greatest delight. When you are around, even dust seems to sparkle like a thousand tiny diamonds. He loves waking up with you, your eyes half lidded and neck covered in his marks. He loves to see you in his clothes, smelling of his body wash, smelling of ​him.

(He has an extra special fondness for the days in which you are soft and pliant, allowing him to dress you like a doll. It makes his internal organs feel like they are tumbling over each other, and it makes him a little giddy. He loves taking care of you.)

But if he really had to pick a moment, he supposes he loves you most when you are with your patients, hands calm and steady and strong. It reminds him of everything beautiful there is about his profession, and he cannot get enough.

You are beautiful, in all the ways there are to be beautiful. You race through him like lightning, and he is sucked further into your orbit everyday. You carry his heart with you (inside yours), and you are never without it.

So he is overflowing with love when he picks you up and tastes your peach-covered mouth. He is overflowing with love when you smile at him with a sort of lightness that he's never quite seen directed at him before. He is overflowing with love as he goes to your favourite cafe one day to pick up the chowder you never stop talking about. Tonight, he will ask you to be his girlfriend, make this tentative little dance official.

Perhaps that is why the pain is so exquisite when he sees you with Younghoon, and hears you talking about Eric with such tenderness in your eyes.

“​He’s super enthusiastic and there’s just something about him that’s so... comforting. I see him and I think about nothing but sunshine and warmth and laughter. He’s just... so cheerful, compared to whatever i’ve been used to.​​” Something inside him shatters into a million jagged pieces when he hears the words, and every breath becomes as a blood-drenched ordeal.

Sunshine and warmth and laughter. Sunshine and warmth and laughter. Sunshine and warmth and laughter. The words ring like alarm bells.

Fool. Naive, hopeless fool. You were never really his, were you? You might be the light by which his spirit is born, you might be his sun, moon and stars, but he? He is your nothing. He is the shadow that is birthed of your radiance, forever connected and forever forgotten.

Is this is why storms are named after people? You have destroyed him in the sweetest of ways. Is this taste of heartbreak? Rust coats his tastebuds. Is this how tears are born? The agony is magnificent and all-encompassing. There is nothing left for him here. He has never been enough, never will be.

He leaves quietly, chowder forgotten.

~~~

It is truly repulsive, the fact that he can see what you adore about Eric. The intern is strong and sweet, kind in all the ways Hyunjae is not. He is soft and mellow, and will cool your scalding tantrums with gentle words. He will not stir up the embers of your fury the way Hyunjae does, hoping for a reaction. He will be tender with you, gently laying you out and coaxing your body to sing. He will not be harsh and hard and possessive like Hyunjae, claiming you with bites and bruises and writing his possession into your blood.

He has been measured, and he has been found lacking. Eric is the perfect Hephaesthus, a sweet spring dandelion, and it is no surprise that Zeus will give you to him.

Aphrodite never belonged to Ares, after all.

“Hey, Eric! Do you have a moment?” By some miracle, his voice doesn’t crack.

“Hey, hyung! What can I do for you?” Eric is as mirthful as ever, and Hyunjae wishes they weren’t fighting over the same girl because he might actually ​like the​ intern otherwise.

“Have you gotten Y/N’s number yet?” He pauses to watch the bashful amusement dance across the intern’s face, and waits for the head shake he knows is coming. “Well, you didn’t hear it from me, but she’s very into you. So here’s her number, and make sure you call her, alright?” The teasing lilt he’s going for comes off more as a hoarse croak, and he realises belatedly that he really needs to be less of a shit actor.

“Thank you so much, hyung! But hey, don’t you hate Y/N? Why are you helping her out?” The intern offers him a cheeky grin, and all Hyunjae wants to do is knock his teeth out. But he’s a ​professional,​so he offers Eric a tight smile (read: grimace) and says “Well, maybe I’m hoping you’ll distract her from work so that I’ll get the promotion first.” He tosses a wink in for good measure, before reaching out to ruffle Eric’s hair with a certain sadistic pleasure.

That’s thirty minutes in the bathroom gone down the drain. But that’s what he gets for stealing Hyunjae’s girl.

Of course, because Eric is quite literally an angel who can apparently do no wrong, he gives Hyunjae a sweet smile and rolls away happily in his chair, high off his excitement at finally getting the girl he’s been after for ​ages.

And then Hyunjae is left alone to drown in self-loathing.

Hyunjae is clearly a masochist who likes to hurt himself, so that’s why he decides to tell you to meet him at the carpark after work. One last time, he’ll be the one to drive you home, the one who kisses you goodnight.

He promises he’ll let you go after this.

~~~

The car ride is as quiet as ever. You enjoy being left alone with your thoughts, and Hyunjae isn’t about to interrupt you when he’s being pummeled by his own.

The Japanese once made up a fictional disease to describe the horrors of unrequited love. They call it ​Hanahaki​, in which flowers grow in the lungs of the victims, causing them to cough up petals when they suffer from one-sided love.

He supposes that it is the exact feeling that he feels now. His love for you coils in his chest, choking leaves and thorns that crush his internal organs. It is rooted so deep that it might never leave, killing him softly but surely. The petals tickle his throat in an insidious kiss as he chokes on his desire for you, their softness a poisonous taunt of your lips against his, a feeling he might never know again.

“Are you okay?” Your voice is a balm to his wounded heart.

Of course he’s not okay. He’s in love with you, but you’re not in love with him. He knows that he is nothing without you, and that knowledge is somehow everything.

All this time he wanted to make you his, but you have made him yours.

He cannot form words, so he looks at you, really, really looks at you. He memorises the contours of your face, the slender bone of your nose, the tilt of your eyes, the exact shade of red your lips are. He'll hold every little detail close, remember the last night you're his and his alone, because tomorrow Eric will ask you out and his Aphrodite will never be his again.

He wants to pretend like the sudden moisture in his eyes is surprising, but he can't lie to himself anymore.

Liar, liar. Ares is a liar.

Is this how Lucifer felt when he fell from heaven? You are life, you are life and light and everything bright. And he is cold, dark and alone. He has fallen from grace, and all that is left are the coiling tendrils of hubris keeping his spine straight and gluing the shattered pieces of his heart together. He is heartbroken, but he will clench his teeth and grit through it. Your joy is worth it. His ego won't let him fall apart. He's stronger than this. Isn't he?

Break my heart. Break it into a thousand pieces and then some. It was only ever yours to break anyways.

“Why wouldn’t I be? Anyways, we’re here now. Get out already.” Your scoff is musical. He is aching and he is broken, so he does not have the strength to resist the screaming in his head to steal one last kiss from you. He luxuriates in the feeling of your petal-soft lips against his, before pulling away reluctantly.

Everything is more beautiful because the two of you are doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. You will never share this moment again.

“Goodbye, kitten.”

The words are far more permanent than he likes. You don’t hear them.

His tears run as he pulls out of your driveway. He allows himself one last look at you, confusion blossoming on the face he once swore was hideous but now haunts his every moment.

Love is fire. It burns as much as it warms, and he is the poor fool who allowed himself to get scarred.

~~~

Crossing the line from enemies to lovers was a wheeling drop of ecstasy and biting kisses. Crossing the line from lovers back to co-workers is a study in heartbreak, and Hyunjae doesn't know how much longer he can handle it.

How do I forget you? I've tasted your secrets on my lips and drank the whispers of your body. You are the weakness in my bones and the hollowness in my lungs. How do I cleave my soul from yours, when you are the drum that my heart beats to?

It is an awful sort of pain, feeling his chest cave in when he watches Eric roll over to you from his cubicle. You find him cute, it's obvious from the way your eyes crinkle like little stars when you regard him.

Look at me. Look only at me.

You look up, searching for his eyes like you’ve heard his prayer. You're expecting jealousy, disdain, fury. You're expecting him to drag you to the pantry, to call you ​kitten ​and kiss you till you bleed. But Hyunjae has no more poison to offer you. He is empty, and all he can do is give you a blank look. He hopes you will be happy, silently wishing you the best.

Hephaestus gets Aphrodite, and all Ares can do is watch. Bloody, brutal Ares is never the winner.

His lack of response throws you off. By now, you are used to his hissy fits, his seething rages. But who is he? What right does he have? You are not his to rage over, or his to claim. You might wear his marks on your neck, but you are definitely not ​his.

How he wishes you were. But wishes are like pixie dust, and this is no fairytale.

The rest of the day is agonising. His body is so keenly attuned to yours now, and he doesn’t know how to rewire himself. He keeps a cool distance from you, but every molecule in his being roars in fury at the forced detachment.

He misses you already.

You continue to press him, trying to push his buttons and rile him up. Hyunjae studiously ignores you, hoping his coldness will further fray the ropes holding up the fragile bridge of a relationship that the two of you have developed. You are looking at him with a strange mix of anger, disdain and annoyance. For a second, he thinks he might even see-

Is that? Could it be? Longing? Do you miss him like he misses you?

Wishful thinking. That’s what it is. But it hurts so bad that he decides that he’s just going to avoid you from now on, until he finds a more appropriate coping mechanism than simply crying like a toddler when he can’t get his way.

Maybe he should call Minhee, and try to rekindle-

He cuts the thought off before it dredges up more painful memories. All he can see when he thinks of Minhee are the one-thousand-and-one different ways you exceed her.

You’re fiercer, with more spine. You don’t give in as easily. You’re not afraid to fight with him. You have a kinder heart. You are so much smarter. Your lips are softer. Your hand fits into his so much more perfectly. You are lovely in all the ways she never was, never will be.

It is a numbing, novocaine relief when Dr Choi summons him for rounds. If Hyunjae is left for even a second longer with his thoughts, he might just spiral into a pit of depressed longing and self pity that he might never emerge from.

Mighty Ares, on his knees. Aphrodite’s laughter perfumes the air, irresistible and menacing.

~~~

He is on his final round when he meets Mrs Kang. The kind, old lady takes one look at him, eyes lighting up with knowledge that he wishes she wasn’t able to glean so easily.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Well he doesn’t, but the words explode out of his bleeding heart like ink spilling on ivory pages.

“I... I thought that it would be okay, that I could forget and let go and that it would all be fine and good but then… I saw her--” his voice cracks miserably as a lump etches itself into his throat. His heart is racing, and every inhale feels like swallowing glass shards.

“I saw her and something went terribly wrong because I couldn’t forget and my heart was remembering and I felt like I was dying but I couldn’t do anything because all I want is for her to be happy and I know that happiness isn’t with me and I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT.”

Mrs Kang is silent, regarding him with a look he can’t quite decipher. He takes it as an invitation to continue.

“I wish I was him. I wish I was the one who could make her smile, make her laugh. But I’m angry, I’m jealous and I’m immature. I’m overly competitive, and I don’t know how to lose graciously. When I’m pissed, I do stupid, radical things.”

Silence. Inside, outside. It is deafening.

“Why would she want me? I don’t deserve her, and knowing that I’ll have to live my life watching her in another man’s arms is ripping me apart.”

He’s breathing hard, like he just ran a marathon. It’s a terrifying prospect, facing his feelings head on. Until now, they were swirling around his head in an ugly tangle of emotion. Verbalising them, hearing them out loud, is painful and cathartic at once. But he’s already feeling like a pathetic little sap. He wonders if you would sneer at him if you heard. Is this what it feels like to lose? Is this how you felt, lifetimes ago, on your sofa? The two of you have always been push and pull, a forever impasse. But today, you’ve finally shoved him off balance.

Who is the stronger Ares now? Your kisses are his kryptonite.

A hand comes to rest over his.

“Love always finds a way. I know you’re feeling hopeless now, but know that if you are meant for each other, you will always find your way back,” Mrs Kang finishes with a gentle smile. The pretty words do not reassure him.

If only love was as perfect as love seems to be, if only his flaws and broken edges could be hidden away. But this is a dream that will never come to life, a flower that will never grow to bloom.

She does not know who it is that he is fighting with, who it is that is slipping away from him with every passing second. She thinks that it will be okay, but she does not know that Ares has no mercy. He expects none from you. Nonetheless, he gives her a watery grin in return before standing up to complete his rounds. He may have lost, but he has enough composure to know better than to break in public.

It is a monumental effort, holding it together.

Hyunjae makes it to the lift in peace, stepping in through the shiny doors and slamming the button for the fifth floor. When they slide open, the sight before him makes his heart drop like a wineglass.

You and Eric are standing across him, hand in hand. Eric’s foot is tapping impatiently, eager to drag you off to wherever he was taking you for dinner.

For a second, he loses control over his emotions. Agony crumples his face, and you, because you’re just that smart and just that perceptive, register it. He doesn’t have the heart to pretend anymore.

Hyunjae brushes past the two of you, ignoring your questioning look, ignoring Eric’s cheerful greeting, and most importantly ignoring the writhing in his chest. He goes straight for his briefcase and shoves his belongings in, flicking the lights off and rushing to the carpark. He does not want to see anyone. He does not want to process anything.

He is empty. So, so empty, and hollow. The void inside him threatens to consume him whole.

The moment he reaches home, he goes straight to his spirits. There’s a bottle of whiskey sitting in the top most shelf of his kitchen, a birthday gift from his father. He pulls it down, slamming the glass decanter onto the kitchen counter, and the pressure nearly cracks it open.

He remembers the sight of you pressed up against this very counter, squirming under his ministrations. He remembers your lips fall open in a sigh, and then to beg. He remembers standing between your thighs, feeding you and then licking cream off your lips. Memories swirl through his head, cutting through his ribcage and slicing his heart open.

He doesn’t bother to grab a glass, pouring the scorching liquid down his throat. It claws at him, and he welcomes the pain.

Love is cruel, love is cold. When it kills, it does it slow.

He knows the tears are coming. The pressure has been building in his head for the last twenty-four hours. They fall as he walks over to the living room, staring at his reflection in the mirror.

The mirror you clutched when you moaned wretchedly, promising him that HE was the only one who could ever ruin you this way.

He lifts the bottle, forcing himself to look his reflection in the eye as he drinks a toast to Eric. ​Here’s to you, buddy.

His reflection sneers back, bloodshot and desolate. A half of a whole, incomplete. This is what he is without you.

Hyunjae sinks to the ground, bottle thumping down on the carpet. It rolls once, twice, and rivulets of alcohol splash across the floor. Another memory lunges up.

There is nothing more striking than red on white. Blood on snow. Wine on cream skin, tracing paths his eager tongue follows. A hiss of anger that softens into a sigh.

The sofa smells like you. The study smells like you. You are everywhere, and it breaks him, tearing a wail of grief out of his chest.

One day, the smell of you will fade. You will slip between his fingers like the wisp of a dream, and all he will be left with is the recollection of the fleeting seconds you were his and his alone.

Too much. This is too much. He cannot think, he cannot see, he cannot ​breathe,​without being haunted by you. You are in every orifice, in every nook and cranny and cell. You are in the water of his blood and in the porous hollows of his bones. You are in the fibre between his atoms, you are in the electricity racing across his neurons. 

There is no escape from you, not now, not ever.

You are inevitable.

(Knock, knock)

It takes him a moment to realise that the pounding is not from the blood rushing in his head, but from someone impatiently banging on his door. He picks himself off the floor, not bothering to fix his appearance.

By now, you must be in Eric’s arms. He would kiss you softly, like summer rain. You would sigh into his lips, and he would look at you like you hung the moon. He would take you home, and press more kisses into your silk skin as he whispers his love. One day, he would get on one knee and present you with a diamond. You would say yes, because Eric is sunshine and warmth and laughter. Sunshine. Warmth. Laughter.

This, this is what you deserve. Not him, not his twisted mess of anger and jealousy. He is a stinging scorpion, and you deserve more than his petty poisons. But his heart still lurches at the thought of you, nestled into Eric.

The gods have always feared Aphrodite more than Ares. He thinks he can finally understand why.

He swings the door open, and once again forgets how to breathe, forgets how to think, forgets that he kinda hates you but now kinda loves you because there you are, raindrops glistening in your eyelashes, and you eclipse every star in the sky. There is nothing but you and you alone, and his withered little heart is shooting to life because ​that’s just what you do to him. There’s so much he wants to say, so many thoughts tumbling through his head. But he’s a frightful, useless coward, so all that flies out of his mouth is:

“Why the fuck are you--”

And then your lips are cushioned against his, kissing the venom out of him. He cannot help the sigh he breathes into your mouth at the way your body slots so perfectly against his.

Home, home is in your arms. He has been running all his life, and you have always been his only destination.

Tears slip out, hot and fast, washing the festering wound inside him clean. The cracked pieces of his soul begin to lift up and fuse together.

The light of a thousand suns slices through the void in him, and the darkness melts like ice on a hot summer day.

He is shuddering, wrecked by the sheer ​force​ of the emotions in him. But you are holding him tight, so very tight. He hopes you will never let him go. ​Never ever, ever let him go.

He is yours, and you are his. Where he ends, you begin and where you end, he begins. There is nothing else, no one else, because there was never anyone for him but you. Love not at first sight, or even the second, but at last sight and at ever and ever sight.

When you finally pull away to murmur the words he would have never even dreamed of hearing from you, it’s like starlight is filling the dusty hollows of his chest, sewing the pieces that have fallen apart back into the tapestry that is you. He is surprised, he really is, but something inside him has always known, has always clung to the hope that you would choose him, despite everything.

All that matters, is that you’ve come back to him. You are the only truth he’s ever known.

~~~ 

Later in the evening, when the two of you are spent from your love-making and coiled so tightly that your breaths have become one, Hyunjae takes a moment to contemplate the situation. You have won this competition between the two of you. You have planted yourself as first in his life, and for once (​and of course, the only time ever, because he is still going to get that damn promotion before you)​, he is happy to cede to you. This is what love is, to break and to be broken, to be full and to be empty, to win and to lose. He would have it no other way. All that he is, and all that he will be, center around the axis that is you.

Do you feel like this too? Like your heart is bursting from the seams?

You sigh in your sleep, seemingly agreeing. He loves you so much, it hurts. But there is one final thing to do.

He lifts his head to the stars, who have been waiting for this collision of souls for a long, long time.

Thank you, he whispers.

And for once, Zeus smiles down on his Ares.

ENDING THOUGHTS:

First of all, a very big thank you to everyone who made it to the end!! This piece has been a wild, emotional ride from start to finish and I understand that the sudden change in style can be jarring for some. As such, I am very grateful to everyone who took the time to read it :)

Hyunjae has always been a very complicated character. We’ve seen him through Y/N’s eyes for the last 17 or so chapters, and she is definitely not the most reliable of narrators. Many of her thoughts regarding his actions and motivations are shadowed by her own negative emotions, and he has come off as a rather poisonous character, except for the rare moments of tenderness he seems to show. Hopefully this will help you get a glimpse into Hyunjae’s psyche, in a way that is untainted by Y/N. I’ve seen many of your asks about Hyunjae and his behaviour, and perhaps you will see this as a sort of redemption for him, in the sense that he is so much deeper and complex than the seething neanderthal Y/N sees him as.

Writing this was a challenge nonetheless, and I think we should all be very grateful to Dana for powering through Y/N and Hyunjae’s story, given how much of a hot mess this couple is! It’s very hard to write an enemies-to-lovers fic without it coming off as corny and shallow, and she had the double struggle of writing that dynamic in a medical setting. The fact that we’re all whipped for these two is testament to her brilliant writing, so let’s all say a big thank you for that :))

Before I end, I’d like to pay homage to some of the writers that have inspired this fic. Reading through, you will see quotes inspired by the likes of Nabokov, Cummings and Homer. If I’m not wrong, there’s a little bit of Sarah J Maas and Caitlyn Siehl in there as well. And of course, who can forget the little bits of mythology peeking out here and there? If you happened to notice these references, feel free to scream in Dana’s ask box! It’ll be fun to read your thoughts :)

Once again, a very big thank you for following Hostis so devotedly, and showering Dana with your love. I hope you’ll continue to give her all your love and support the rest of her works.

(P.S Did anyone notice Pilot! Juyeon? If you didn’t, you should 1000% check out his story too, here.)

Love Always,

V

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter XVIII: Renuntiatio

#hyunjae #lee hyunjae #the boyz #the boyz hyunjae #the boyz lee hyunjae #timetohajima #timetohajima hostis

[my-witchy-journal]

🌕Working with the Lunar Year 🌕

For this post I’m using the book called ‘GRIMOIRE OF A KITCHEN WITCH ‘ by Rachel Patterson. In this book I have found a lot of interesting and useful tips, list and recipes which I’m gonna share with you lil’ witches as soon as possible. 

So as you all know each month has it’s own particular Moon and they has theri own Moon energies which can be used for Moon magic. 

⛄January⛄

Nature spirits: gnomes, brownies 

Herbs: marjoram, nuts and cones 

Colours: white, violet, black 

Stones: garnet, onyx, jet, chrysophrase

Trees: birch 

Animals: fox, coyote, pheasant, blue jay

Deities: Freyja, Inanna, Sarasvati, Hera, Ch’ang-O, Sinn

Energies: Sluggish, below the surface, beginning and conceiving, protection, reversing spells. Conserving energy by working on personal problems. Getting your various bodies to work smoothly together for the same goals.

❄️February❄️

Nature spirits: house faeries 

Herbs: balm of Gilead, hyssop, myrrh, sage

Colours: light blue, violet 

Stones: amethyst, jasper, quartz 

Trees: rowan, laurel, cedar 

Animals: otter, unicorn, eagle, chickadee

Deities: Brigit, Juno, Kuan Yin, Diana, Demeter, Persephone, Aphrodite

Energies: Energy working toward the surface; purification, growth, healing. Loving the self. Accepting responsibility for past errors, forgiving oneself and making future plans.

🌷March🌷

Nature spirits: merfolk, air and water beings

Herbs: broom, High John root, yellow dock, wood betony, Irish moss

Colours: plate green, violet 

Stones: aquamarine, bloodstone 

Trees: alder, dogwood 

Animals: cougar, hedgehog, boar, sea crow, sea eagle

Deities: Black Isis, the Morrigan, Hecate, Cybele, Astarte, Athena, Minerva, Artemis, Luna

Energies: Energy breaks into the open; growing, prospering, exploring. New beginnings; balance of light and dark. Breaking illusions. Seeing the truth in your life however much it may hurt.

🌿April🌿

Nature spirits: plant faeries 

Herbs: basil, chives, dragon’s blood, geranium, thistle

Colours: red, gold 

Stones: ruby, garnet 

Trees: pine, bay, hazel 

Animals: bear, wolf, hawk, magpie 

Deities: Kali, Hathor, Anahita, Ceres, Ishtar, Venus, Bast

Energies: Put energy into creating and producing; return balance to the nerves. Change, self-confidence, self-reliance. Take advantage of opportunities. Work on temper, emotional flareups and selfishness.

🌻May🌻

Nature spirits: faeries, elves 

Herbs: dittany of Crete, elder, mint, rose, mugwort, thyme, yarrow 

Colours: green, brown, pink 

Stones: emerald, malachite, amber, carnelian

Trees: hawthorn 

Animals: cat, lynx, leopard, swallow, dove, swan

Deities: Bast, Venus, Aphrodite, Maia, Diana, Artemis, Pan, Horned God

Energies: Full creating energy; propagation. Intuition, contact with faeries and other supernatural beings. Strengthen connection with supernatural protectors and beings around you. Power flowing from nature

🐝 June 🐝

Nature spirits: sylphs, zephyrs 

Herbs: skullcap, meadowsweet, vervain, tansy, dog grass, parsley, moss 

Colours: orange, golden green 

Stones: topaz, agate, fluorite 

Trees: oak 

Animals: monkey, butterfly, frog, toad, wren, peacock

Deities: Aine, Isis, Neith, Green Man, Cerridwen, Ishtar

Energies: Full but restful energy; protect, strengthen and prevent. A time of light; Earth tides are turning. Decision-making, taking responsibility for present happenings. Work on personal inconsistencies. Strengthen and reward yourself for your positive traits.

☀️ July☀️

Nature spirits: hobgoblins, faeries of harvested crops

Herbs: honeysuckle, agrimony, lemon balm, hyssop

Colours: silver, blue grey 

Stones: pearl, moonstone, white agate 

Trees: oak, acacia, ash 

Animals: crab, turtle, dolphin, whale, starling, ibis, swallow

Deities: Athena, Juno, Hel, Holda, Cerridwen, Nephthys, Venus

Energies: Relaxed energy; preparing, succeeding. Dreamwork, divination, meditation on goals and plans, especially spiritual ones.

🍃August🍃

Nature spirits: dryads 

Herbs: chamomile, St John’s wort, bay, angelica, fennel, rue, orange 

Colours: yellow, gold 

Stones: cat’s eye, carnelian, jasper, fire agate

Trees: hazel, alder, cedar 

Animals: lion, phoenix, sphinx, dragon, crane, falcon, eagle

Deities: Ganesha, Thoth, Hathor, Diana, Hecate, Nemesis

Energies: Energy into harvesting; gathering, appreciating. Vitality, health, friendships.

🍁September🍁

Nature spirits: trooping faeries 

Herbs: copal, fennel, rye, wheat, valerian, skullcap

Colours: brown, yellow green, yellow 

Stones: peridot, chrysolite, citrine 

Trees: hazel, larch, bay 

Animals: snake, jackal, ibis, sparrow 

Deities: Demeter, Ceres, Isis, Nephthys, Freyja, Ch’ang-O, Thoth 

Energies: Rest after labour; balance of light and dark. Organise. Clean and straighten up physical, mental, emotional and spiritual clutter.

🎃October🎃

Nature spirits: frost faeries, plant faeries

Herbs: pennyroyal, thyme, catnip, angelica, burdock

Colours: dark blue green 

Stones: opal, tourmaline, beryl, turquoise

Trees: yew, cypress, acacia 

Animals: stag, jackal, elephant, ram, scorpion, heron, crow, and robin 

Deities: Ishtar, Astarte, Demeter, Kore, Lakshmi, Horned God, Belili, Hathor

Energies: Energy to let go; inner cleansing. Karma and reincarnation. Justice and balance. Inner harmony.

🍂November🍂

Nature spirits: subterranean faeries 

Herbs: verbena, betony, borage, cinquefoil

Colours: grey, sea green 

Stones: topaz, lapis lazuli

Trees: alder, cypress 

Animals: unicorn, scorpion, crocodile, jackal, owl, goose, sparrow 

Deities: Kali, Black Isis, Hecate, Bast, Osiris, Sarasvati, Lakshmi, Mawu

Energies: Take root, prepare. Transformation. Strengthen communication with the deity who seems closest to you.

🎄December🎄

Nature spirits: snow faeries, storm faeries, winter tree faeries

Herbs: holly, ivy, fir, mistletoe 

Colours: dark red, white, black 

Stones: serpentine, peridot 

Trees: pine, fir, holly 

Animals: mouse, deer, horse, bear, rook, robin, snowy owl

Deities: Hathor, Hecate, Neith, Athena, Minerva, Ixchel, Osiris, Norns, Fates 

Energies: Energy to endure, die, and be reborn; Earth tides turning. Darkness. Personal alchemy. Spiritual paths. Reach out to friends and family, the lonely and needy.

💎🌛Lunar crystals and stones🌜💎

A lot of crystals also have lunar associations.

Crystals & Stones like this:

quartz

 rose quartz

 aquamarine

 mother of pearl

moonstone

 pearl

 beryl

 sapphire

hag stones (stones with holes through them)

How to use them?

Use a crystal or other stone to make yourself a lunar charm to help keep you in synch with the Moon phases and the phases of your own life.

#tips #moon #moonphases #witchcraft #witches #witch #witchy #kitchen #kitchen magic #grimoire #book #moon magic

[grimoire2020aa]

Working with the Lunar Year

For this post I’m using the book called ‘GRIMOIRE OF A KITCHEN WITCH ‘ by Rachel Patterson. In this book I have found a lot of interesting and useful tips, list and recipes which I’m gonna share with you lil’ witches as soon as possible. 

So as you all know each month has it’s own particular Moon and they has theri own Moon energies which can be used for Moon magic.

⛄January⛄

Nature spirits: gnomes, brownies

Herbs: marjoram, nuts and cones

Colours: white, violet, black

Stones: garnet, onyx, jet, chrysophrase

Trees: birch

Animals: fox, coyote, pheasant, blue jay

Deities: Freyja, Inanna, Sarasvati, Hera, Ch’ang-O, Sinn

Energies: Sluggish, below the surface, beginning and conceiving, protection, reversing spells. Conserving energy by working on personal problems. Getting your various bodies to work smoothly together for the same goals.

❄️February❄️

Nature spirits: house faeries

Herbs: balm of Gilead, hyssop, myrrh, sage

Colours: light blue, violet

Stones: amethyst, jasper, quartz

Trees: rowan, laurel, cedar

Animals: otter, unicorn, eagle, chickadee

Deities: Brigit, Juno, Kuan Yin, Diana, Demeter, Persephone, Aphrodite

Energies: Energy working toward the surface; purification, growth, healing. Loving the self. Accepting responsibility for past errors, forgiving oneself and making future plans.

🌷March🌷

Nature spirits: merfolk, air and water beings

Herbs: broom, High John root, yellow dock, wood betony, Irish moss

Colours: plate green, violet

Stones: aquamarine, bloodstone

Trees: alder, dogwood

Animals: cougar, hedgehog, boar, sea crow, sea eagle

Deities: Black Isis, the Morrigan, Hecate, Cybele, Astarte, Athena, Minerva, Artemis, Luna

Energies: Energy breaks into the open; growing, prospering, exploring. New beginnings; balance of light and dark. Breaking illusions. Seeing the truth in your life however much it may hurt.

🌿April🌿

Nature spirits: plant faeries

Herbs: basil, chives, dragon’s blood, geranium, thistle

Colours: red, gold

Stones: ruby, garnet

Trees: pine, bay, hazel

Animals: bear, wolf, hawk, magpie

Deities: Kali, Hathor, Anahita, Ceres, Ishtar, Venus, Bast

Energies: Put energy into creating and producing; return balance to the nerves. Change, self-confidence, self-reliance. Take advantage of opportunities. Work on temper, emotional flareups and selfishness.

🌻May🌻

Nature spirits: faeries, elves

Herbs: dittany of Crete, elder, mint, rose, mugwort, thyme, yarrow

Colours: green, brown, pink

Stones: emerald, malachite, amber, carnelian

Trees: hawthorn

Animals: cat, lynx, leopard, swallow, dove, swan

Deities: Bast, Venus, Aphrodite, Maia, Diana, Artemis, Pan, Horned God

Energies: Full creating energy; propagation. Intuition, contact with faeries and other supernatural beings. Strengthen connection with supernatural protectors and beings around you. Power flowing from nature

🐝 June 🐝

Nature spirits: sylphs, zephyrs

Herbs: skullcap, meadowsweet, vervain, tansy, dog grass, parsley, moss

Colours: orange, golden green

Stones: topaz, agate, fluorite

Trees: oak

Animals: monkey, butterfly, frog, toad, wren, peacock

Deities: Aine, Isis, Neith, Green Man, Cerridwen, Ishtar

Energies: Full but restful energy; protect, strengthen and prevent. A time of light; Earth tides are turning. Decision-making, taking responsibility for present happenings. Work on personal inconsistencies. Strengthen and reward yourself for your positive traits.

☀️ July☀️

Nature spirits: hobgoblins, faeries of harvested crops

Herbs: honeysuckle, agrimony, lemon balm, hyssop

Colours: silver, blue grey

Stones: pearl, moonstone, white agate

Trees: oak, acacia, ash

Animals: crab, turtle, dolphin, whale, starling, ibis, swallow

Deities: Athena, Juno, Hel, Holda, Cerridwen, Nephthys, Venus

Energies: Relaxed energy; preparing, succeeding. Dreamwork, divination, meditation on goals and plans, especially spiritual ones.

🍃August🍃

Nature spirits: dryads

Herbs: chamomile, St John’s wort, bay, angelica, fennel, rue, orange

Colours: yellow, gold

Stones: cat’s eye, carnelian, jasper, fire agate

Trees: hazel, alder, cedar

Animals: lion, phoenix, sphinx, dragon, crane, falcon, eagle

Deities: Ganesha, Thoth, Hathor, Diana, Hecate, Nemesis

Energies: Energy into harvesting; gathering, appreciating. Vitality, health, friendships.

🍁September🍁

Nature spirits: trooping faeries

Herbs: copal, fennel, rye, wheat, valerian, skullcap

Colours: brown, yellow green, yellow

Stones: peridot, chrysolite, citrine

Trees: hazel, larch, bay

Animals: snake, jackal, ibis, sparrow

Deities: Demeter, Ceres, Isis, Nephthys, Freyja, Ch’ang-O, Thoth

Energies: Rest after labour; balance of light and dark. Organise. Clean and straighten up physical, mental, emotional and spiritual clutter.

🎃October🎃

Nature spirits: frost faeries, plant faeries

Herbs: pennyroyal, thyme, catnip, angelica, burdock

Colours: dark blue green

Stones: opal, tourmaline, beryl, turquoise

Trees: yew, cypress, acacia

Animals: stag, jackal, elephant, ram, scorpion, heron, crow, and robin

Deities: Ishtar, Astarte, Demeter, Kore, Lakshmi, Horned God, Belili, Hathor

Energies: Energy to let go; inner cleansing. Karma and reincarnation. Justice and balance. Inner harmony.

🍂November🍂

Nature spirits: subterranean faeries

Herbs: verbena, betony, borage, cinquefoil

Colours: grey, sea green

Stones: topaz, lapis lazuli

Trees: alder, cypress

Animals: unicorn, scorpion, crocodile, jackal, owl, goose, sparrow

Deities: Kali, Black Isis, Hecate, Bast, Osiris, Sarasvati, Lakshmi, Mawu

Energies: Take root, prepare. Transformation. Strengthen communication with the deity who seems closest to you.

🎄December🎄

Nature spirits: snow faeries, storm faeries, winter tree faeries

Herbs: holly, ivy, fir, mistletoe

Colours: dark red, white, black

Stones: serpentine, peridot

Trees: pine, fir, holly

Animals: mouse, deer, horse, bear, rook, robin, snowy owl

Deities: Hathor, Hecate, Neith, Athena, Minerva, Ixchel, Osiris, Norns, Fates

Energies: Energy to endure, die, and be reborn; Earth tides turning. Darkness. Personal alchemy. Spiritual paths. Reach out to friends and family, the lonely and needy.

💎🌛Lunar crystals and stones🌜💎

A lot of crystals also have lunar associations.

Crystals & Stones like this:

quartz

rose quartz

aquamarine

mother of pearl

moonstone

pearl

beryl

sapphire

hag stones (stones with holes through them)

How to use them?

Use a crystal or other stone to make yourself a lunar charm to help keep you in synch with the Moon phases and the phases of your own life.

Source: my-witchy-journal

#witcblr #witches #witch #kitchen magick #kitchen witch #moon magic

[apothecaryforwearysouls]

The air grew cold as the moons reached their peak. A tavern once a host to the joyous laughter and warm embrace of many now lay nothing but cinders. A lone man kneeling in the ash, a long buried rage brewing within.

"You call this mercy?" Uthorims voice began to shake. "My life was simple, quiet, peaceful, i showed mercy to those who would be given none!" He rose ash caked upon his skin, a revenant returned to the life he so desperately clawed away from.

Whispers filled the air morphing together, a cacophonous noise that of a treachery of ravens. From the shadows three hagravens emerged their voices speaking as one. "Your pain is felt by many. You need not sit by and suffer. You must continue your work. Show mercy to the lost. Punish those who use kindness to hide their hate."

Uthroim turned to the malformed creatures his fists clenched. "Tell me what i have to do, so many passed through my doors fearing that very night would be their last!" Uthorim stepped closer picking up the once beautiful glass axe from the muck. "I wont allow the suffering to continue."

One by one a crooked smile crossed their faces. "It is simple all you must do is Seek the heart, Trancend, then you can Punish the false!" Cackles filled the air as they disappeared just as they arrived. A single piece of parchment lay at Uthorims feet. A map, guiding him to deep into forsworn territory to hags end.

Uthorim left that very moment letting nothing get in his way. Most travelers gave a wide birth to the orc, his regal purples stained grey, his eyes filled with fire. Uthorims path is an easy one to follow as any bandit, beast, and creature that tried to claim his life lay lifeless on the stones. As he approached the cave leading to caves end Forsworn met his advance. Arrows littering the sky, and briarheart warriors blades raised to cut him down. Like all others they fall to Uthorims axe, radiant energy enveloping any wound suffered. The halls ran red with Forsworn blood as he made his way further in.

The final chamber lay behind oak doors. Uthorim could feel the power of whatever lay beyond the threshhold. Uthroim pushed the doors open the air growin warmer with each step in. A pedestal sits in the center of the room surrounded by piles of Briarheart corpses their chest empty and cold. Upon it floating within a crimson aura a steady beat echoing throughout the room. Uthorims body grew weak, his axe falling to the floor. Drawn to it like a moth to a flame he took the heart into his hands. It began beating furiously the thumping growing louder and louder, Uthorims vision blurring before fading to black.

When sight returned he found himself floating in and endless abyss. Pain racking his body as his skin split and bones cracked his screams filling the nothingness. "It is time, a new Prince enters the The plain of strife. Your new kin play a frivolous game with the souls of mortals and the so called divines use their influence to destroy or simply sit idly by as many use their names. We have witnessed your souls intent, you have been chosen." The voices words filled Uthroims mind pain continuing to engulf him. After what felt like an eternity his body gave in and darkness took him once again.

Once more Uthorim awoke no longer in the abyss nor the bloodied halls of Hags End. But the ruins of the Lavender Lodge. The ground wet with rain, offerings left on the doorstep. How long had it truly been? Rising to his feet Uthroim stepped from the ruins looking into one of the offering bowls filled with rain water. His visage taking hin by surprise, his body clean of soot and ash, his clothing returned to the vibrant purples and golds. No longer fabrics and forged jewlery but of material pulled from the earth. The furs of his coat made from the most elegant of beasts, the cloth replaced with soft moss, his jewlery no longer soft smooth metals and cut gems but raw material growing from him as if placed by the elements themselves. His eyes now completely void of iris, the whites replaced entirely with the soft blue of original eyes. His hair tide back and braided with lavender, a crown or orchids set upon a set of pristine white antlers.

What stands on the mortal plane is no longer simply a compassionate orc but something more.

Here stands Uthorim, Daedric prince of mercy, nature, and protection.

#uthorim gollick #long post #Story #my oc #im honestly not 100% happy with his Daedric promce form #but i can adjust that in a seperate post later #writing #late night writing #i really hope you all enjoy this

[andrasteguidesme]

@heshields | Starter

Struggling to hold his pace on unsteady feet, the boy pushes onward through hagged breaths.  He could vaguely hear the shouts of the templar following after him over the loud cracks and bangs of spells whistling in the air. The ground shook beneath his already stumbling footsteps as he rushes to the tree for refuge away from the battlefield. The death of the Divine had been the call to war. Mages and templars would spill blood over her fresh ashes, killing each other out spite, hatred, revenge. Sparks of revolt had popped up across the lands, but the Hinterlands would be ground zero for whatever massacre that would precede the end times. 

Hal wasn’t part of any of this nor would he take a side. Following the dissolve of his circle, Hal made his way south to Fereldan, in hopes he’d have better luck at a fresh start out of the country. Without his staff or robes, most took the boy as a returning refugee, maybe even a farm boy, or a merchant’s son. He did everything his power to hide his magic, especially when visiting the chantry. He was a pious man at heart, and once he heard the Divine was coming to Haven, he was eager to go see what was happening. Unfortunately, for him, it was not the holy welcome he was expecting. The boy made haste to Redcliffe for refuge but was caught in the crossroads by the templars and rebel mages. In hasty effort to defend himself, his magic slipped, and a target was placed upon his back. Despite Circle rules, the Templars were not taking any prisoners and cut down any mages who immediately surrendered. Any apostate was to be killed. With no other choice, the boy ran for his life, through fire, ice, lightning, and blades. Through grass and earth torn asunder by fireballs and holy smites. He ran until he couldn’t run anymore, his legs giving up beneath him as he fell to the ground. Clawing at the dirt, he winces, squeezing his eyes shut in pain. The boy flinches as he feels an arrow fly past him, stabbing into the ground beside him. Opening his eyes, he spotted men clad in chainmail, branded with the flaming sword of Andraste. They found him.

Stricken with fear, he finds himself frozen, eyes locked on the warriors like caught prey. 

#heshields

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2010s: 15 - 11

15. Ieva Zasimauskaitė - “When we’re old” Lithuania 2018

[2018 Review here]

~wen wir owld HOOOOOOOOOOOO~

So close to the endgame it’s time to open all of the emotional registers. Much like Hovi, I did not expect to love Ieva as much as I do, however unlike Hovi I had already fully embraced Ieva and “When we’re old” long before rehearsals started.

And for good reason because Ieva fucking disarms me every time without fail. She herself is of course a hilarious, relatably weirdo indie girl, this time in the guise of a Born Again Hindu who ~FELT A COSMIC PRESENCE~ on the stage with her. 😍 Telling the true story of how she overcame depression by falling in love with her hubby. Flanked by holograms that project Ieva’s life dream: to be happy and grow old with the love of her life. All my hopeless romantic triggers are activated by this song. ALL OF THEM.

People are generally divided on Ieva’s voice, but um hello welcome to BorisBubbles. I ranked Nina Kralic and Jana Burcheska hellow-high. I LOVE Ieva’s husky, nasal, ovine, falsetto whine of a voice. It makes “When we’re old” for me. Ieva injects so much vulnerability and authenticity into a song that whenever she performs it, all I can do is sit in silence, tears welling up in my eyes, bleating along with the WHAOHHHHHs. Time truly stands still during “When we’re old” and I’m speechless.

________________________________________________________________

14. Conchita Wurst - “Rise like a phoenix” Austria 2014

You can be damn’ sure the highest ranked powerballad on this list is “Rise like a phoenix”. It isn’t as much as a song as it is an INSTITUTION. 

Which is why, symbollically, “Phoenix” is a very important winner. It’s a plight for overcoming hate, for overcoming bullying, from being yourself in the face and of adversity and rising from the ashes reborn, reinvented, reinvigorated. Its presentation is provocative, yet secondary, putting vocals and song on the foreground. It is rooted in the political zeitgeist of its winners, like most modern winners, obviously, 

however, ask yourself this:

Would “Phoenix” have won if it hadn’t been a great performance of a great song? 

I don’t think it would have. Take away the powerful composition and leave just the politically correct message, and you get Bilal Hassani. Take away the beard and you have, well, a really good song bond theme by a talented vocalist, that probably would’ve finished top ten, if not top five in most years. 

It’s easy to get distracted by Tom’s stick because a “Bearded drag queen” provides a lot of cognitive dissonance, which I personally love because it forces me to think, keeping my mind sharp. The use of a gimmick does NOT cheapen the talent on display here, however. Tom’s delivery of the song is flawless, hitting every note, delivering both ‘feminine’ nuturing comfort and ‘masculine’ strength to his glorious song. He even throws in some small nuggets of fierceness, providing levity, reminding us of Conchita’s drag queen roots

The act is cut from the same professional cloth; it is maybe a tad provocative, but at it’s core it remains dignified and classy, maintaining a moral high ground that instantly sheds a bad light on any hater. You may pull her down, but she’s gonna FLYYYYY.

Conchita Wurst is the best winner of this decade, period. No winning performance is as ironclad, vocally, musically or stagingwise as hers. No other winner has shown as much raw performance talent as she has. No winner has been able to make such a statement while at their core maintaining a high-quality musical standard. No winner has been such a champion of those whose voices are trampled for being different. To use Conchita’s own words after she won: “WE ARE UNITY. AND *WE* ARE UNSTOPPABLE.” 

________________________________________________________________

13. Zlata Ognevich - “Gravity” Ukraine 2013

This is the last female fronted act from 2013, you know what that means: EPIC ENTRANCE TIME 😍

What a beautiful dreamscape. I felt bad ranking Elina Nechayeva in a fairly low 39th place, but honestly, “Gravity” vibes very similarly and does the same things a lot better: Breathtakingly regal woman, a mirage of near-divine grace, stunning visual effects... SIGN ME UP ALREADY. At the core we of course find Zlata, the winner of the Best Human Award in 2013. Zlata’s backstage bits were rife with personality facts that instantly endeared her to me. A praraphrased selection from her infinitely quotable interview gold: ”I PRACTICE BIG VOICE BY HOLDING BREATH UNDERWATER”; “I COME FROM PLACE IT’S CALLED CRIMEA, IS LARGE ::reads from online dictionary:: PEN...EEN...SYOO..LA(?) WITH BIG MOUNTAIN AND LARGE SEA ^_^”; “I LOVE UNICORN IS FAVOURITE ANIMAL”. GODDESS. 😍

Fortunately her overpoweringly loud, yet disarmingly weird personality is also omnipresent during her big screen performance. “Gravity” is a mirage of Disney mojo and Zlata absolutely fucking hits it like A SHTRIKE OF DUNDAR

I don’t think I’ve ever listened to a song that is legit quotable at every interval? There is not a single line in “Gravity” that doesn’t bring out the bedroom karaoke: “IMMA LIIIKA BADDERFLYYYYY.” “NOTHING COMES FROM PRIDE, -*HAYLALE*” “NOW I FEEL NO FEEEEE-AAAAAAR.“

And I’m not even done because Gravity ALSO features an excellent backing choir (the male backing vocalist is incredible). It’s just a perfect example of world music, conjuring three minutes of pure, unicorn-endorsed magic. IMMA LIIIKE A BADDERFLYYYYY. 🦋

________________________________________________________________

12. Juliana Pasha - “It’s all about you” Albania 2010

YUARDAWAN 😀 YUGIMMEDATSAMTINANEED 😀 ITZMI 😀 ENDAMFOLIN 😀

We are at #12, which means we’re at that Olympian milestone where every entity ranked is a fucking supernatural force. In Juliana’s case a forced of pure, unfiltered, streechy harpism. 😍 It is so weird to think that she was the first of Albania’s now iconic ‘Shrieking Boss Hag” archetype because it feels like a alliance older than time, sealed and styled in cuneiform onto a shard of Sumerian pottery, blessed by the Annunaki and then embedded into the muddy banks of the Euphrates. 

Anyway, Juliana earned my HEART once she greeted us with her uncanny-valleyesque diction and cheshire-catesque leering, all YUARDAWAN! and proceeded to throw everything, both vocally and facialexpressionly, into the mix, in ascending degrees of deafening loudness. 😍

With a criminally addictive electronic schlager song too boot! One which, like Zlata features an INCREDIBLE supporting cast in a bangin’ gospel choir, as well as a very generous dollop of ❤ ELECTRONIC VIOLA REALNESS ❤

One of the fave musicians of NaziPope, btw. “It’s all about you” is such a Triumpf of the Shrill. 😍

Anyway, this high quality list of ingredients make for a very replayable ride that never spoils or grows stale, no matter how often I listen to it. Which is actually a lot. I’ve looped “It’s all about you” at countless occasions since 2010, making it perhaps the song on this list that I have to the MOST often. (Or second most because there IS a song I still have to rank that may challenge Juliana for that title.) If that ain’t a hallmark for quality, I don’t know what is. 

________________________________________________________________

11. Koza Mostra ft. Agathonas Iakovidis - “Alcohol is free” Greece 2013

Has life been letting you down? Have you been struck by a financial crisis? Do you no longer know how to continue living. Fear not, because :cracks knuckles: we are about to embark on a MASTERCLASS of unabashed drunken REVELRY:

Um a small disclaimer though. This song has a really really, really, REALLY irresponsible title. DO NOT at any circumstance use alcohol as a coping mechanism, engage in drunk driving or other activities under influence that you may life to regret later, if you live to regret it later. Also don’t drink if you’re underage. Also also, alcohol can cause obesity and cardio-vascular arrest. and cancer, possibly. Drink, but do so RESPONSIBLY. 

HOWEVER, what if this song is... a PSA???😈 An Anti-Crisis PSA that is, lol. A group of folk hipsters literally PARTYING AWAY the misery of the financial crisis in a delightfully self-deprecating fashion is just the pinacle of fun for me and Koza Mostra fucking ROLL with it. Watching them dart out in all wind directions, interacting with each other gives me LIFE.

It’s exactly that sort of industriousness which sets “Alcohol is free” apart from other party songs. There is a LOT of randomness going on in the background and it gives you ZERO time to process all of it, making every rewatch an easter egg hunt.

This approach to staging usually doesn’t work, but here it is actually very intelligent and I’ll explain why: The act places a lot of focus on Agathonas (which it should because he’s the lead singer despite his featured status), but by the same token offers constant distraction by all the Koza Mostra shenanigans in the background...  In other words, it’s an act that forces your attention away from the main event by confusing your senses, requesting all of you concentration keep up with everything that’s going on... which is actually a brilliantly accurate simulation of how 'being drunk’ works.

(btw if you listen closely you can hear the sound of Agathonas tapping his skull lol <3)

So the next time you listen to this song, pour yourself a drink (ONE drink!) sit back and embark on a Waldo-esque hunt to see how many beautiful nuggets you can find hidden in that splendid act, as the upbeat sirtaki madness fills your head with cloudy thoughts. As far as I’m concerned, Koza Mostra have WON the Eurovision Fun Contest. 

EVERYONE RISE AND APPLAUD THE  10 BEST ENTRIES IN THIS DECADE:

From now on, I’ll only include maximum 2 songs per update :o

And in this update we finally say goodbye to Greece, Albania, Ukraine, Austria and Lithuania. Read my thoughts on them, below:

LITHUANIA

Lithuania was hands down the worst country in the 00s and look at their chart now. They are slowly getting their shit together and it shows. Keep on going, darlings!!

AUSTRIA

God Austria are so boring. At least they occasionally provide us with a great entry here or there, but they’re so inconsistent in their entertainment. 2 great - 6 okay - 1 terrible is NOT a great ratio by any means. 

UKRAINE

ALBANIA

Albania are very hit-or-miss, but I really like their presence in Eurovision actually. Like Georgia they entries are so left-field that they are always *interesting* even when they’re not good. Except “Fairytale”. Fuck “Fairytale”.

GREECE

Fuck this decade was ROUGH for Greece. They are a shattered nation and if you think this chart is bad, let me remind you that their best result in the past five contests is 19th place. Same in fact, as San Marino’s highest and lower than the highest placements of Albania, Montenegro, Slovenia, UK, Ireland, North Macedonia,...

#Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #Greece #Albania #Ukraine #Austria #Lithuania #koza mostra #Agathonas Iakovidis #Alcohol is free #Juliana Pasha #it's all about perspective #Zlata Ognevich #Gravity #Conchita Wurst #Tom Neuwirth #WURST #Rise like a phoenix #Ieva Zasimauskaite #When we're old

[lcwk]

Hag woman,

you are not meant to be divine,

you are not of this earth

you are no angel,

but a witch.

Always awake and howling

at the cold moon.

Her light sets a fire in you.

fire so bright,

you burn down villages

with just the passing of your heels.

Their praise of angels

beg forgiveness.

Your scent in the distance,

ashes rain down.

Hag woman,

you are not meant to be divine.

You are not of this earth,

you are no angel,

but a witch.

Always singing in solitude.

The loneliness brings you ease.

ease so capable,

you float through the suffering,

pull to surface the drowning

as you flow along.

Your hair drips in sorrow

salt dries your skin.

Hag woman,

you are not meant to be divine.

You are not of this earth,

you are no angel,

but a witch.

Always learning in love.

Love so deep,

you dance in ecstasy under any sky,

call those who have no rhythm

to join in the thunder.

Your heart cries with joy

broken feet carry you.

Hag woman,

you are not meant to be divine.

You are not of this earth,

you are no angel,

but a witch.

Always living,

life so free

you can not hear their protests

to your being.

Hag woman,

You are divine.

#original poems #poem #witch #witchythings #writing