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kalinara · 2 years

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So I saw an article whose title pissed me off so much that I felt like I had to write about it.

I haven’t even read the article. The title alone fills me with such rage that I know trying to read it would probably cause an aneurysm, So I’m basically going to react to said title, making this all your problem.

So the title, paraphrased, was that Luke Skywalker’s actions in Boba Fett means that he has failed three of his students.

I suppose it’s possible that the title is misleading and the article says something completely different. But I’ve seen this sort of sentiment before and it pisses me off, so here we are.

Personally, I think Luke has failed exactly NONE of his students, especially the three that we’ve seen on screen. And I’m going to elaborate on that.

1) Luke never failed Ben Solo.

I actually liked Luke’s plot in the Last Jedi. I liked that he was dealing with his own shit. I liked that he wasn’t infallible. I liked that he goes through his own arc, and comes out stronger by the end.

I even, mostly, liked the reveal of his “failure”: specifically, that moment where, full of fear and forboding, he stands over his sleeping nephew with a lightsaber. It’s a moment of terrible temptation, which Luke does not actually give into.

Okay, look, was that experience traumatizing for Kylo? Probably. Did he have the right to be mad? Yeah. Would I have blamed him if he ran home to Han and Leia and told them his uncle just tried to (or at least contemplated trying to) kill him? Probably not.

He doesn’t do that though. He runs off and joins an organization of child-enslaving space fascists, assists them in multiple genocides, murders multiple unarmed old men, orders the massacre of villages, tortures people, and so on and so forth.

Basically he proves Luke’s fear and forboding were 100% correct, and Luke’s only real failure here was to the galaxy when he didn’t skewer the ADULT, TWENTY-THREE year old asshole in his sleep.

Kylo’s not a child. His fall was his own fault. Luke made a mistake (though again, was it really?) but Kylo didn’t have to dive into the dark side head first and with bells on.

2) Luke never failed Rey.

I love Rey. She’s my favorite character in the Sequel Trilogy for a reason. And when she came to Luke for training and he turned her down, that was heart-wrenching.

But it was absolutely within his rights to do. Luke at that time was retired, in hiding, full of recrimination and self blame. Rey isn’t entitled to his training just because she’s super powerful in the force. That said, he does train her.

And I would argue that he trains her in a very similar way that Yoda trained him. (especially when we take the deleted scenes into account). He’s not a comfortable or comforting teacher, by any means. He pokes and provokes, he mocks her and tries her temper, he avoids easy answers.

I’d argue though that he’s exactly the kind of teacher Rey needed at this moment.

Rey is new, green, and incredibly powerful. Things come very easy to her. She needs to be challenged before her arrogance puts her in serious danger. (Unfortunately, the forced mind-link with Kylo pushes Rey into that situation before anyone is ready. She is arrogant enough to think she can reproduce Luke’s greatest triumph without understanding why, and it slaps her in the face.)

When they meet again, after Rey’s had more than one horrible and humbling experience, Luke is a lot gentler and more supportive. He’s a force ghost now, but as we’ve seen from Yoda, being a force ghost doesn’t make you less of an asshole troll. Luke changed his approach because Rey needs something else now, and he gives it to her.

Rey survives to be the first new Jedi. She survives to be a Skywalker. That’s because of both Luke and Leia.

3) Luke ESPECIALLY did not fail Grogu.

This is the big one, of course. But Luke never fucking failed Grogu and I will stand by that.

Look, I’ve said before that I thought there were enough odd aspects of Luke and Grogu’s interaction that I think something else is going on. I don’t think Grogu’s choice was as straightforward as it was presented, and Luke (asshole troll of a mentor that we know he can be) might well have something else in mind.

But let’s say he doesn’t Let’s say he means exactly what he says and Grogu really does have to choose between a life with his father and a life as a Jedi.

That’s still not an example of Luke failing Grogu.

If anything, it’s an example of Luke avoiding the mistakes of the old Jedi Order. Because Grogu, at this stage of life, is a LOT like Anakin Skywalker.

He’s very young, for his species. He’s very powerful. He’s very traumatized. He’s got a parent that he’s very attached to, one who might not be his birth parent but has still provided him with the first sense of safety and support that he’s had in decades.

I don’t blame the Jedi for Anakin’s fall, at all, that was Anakin’s decision. But let’s be honest here. They were RIGHT when they told him no, initially. Anakin is powerful, he’s brilliant, he’s incredibly talented, but he has never been emotionally suited for membership in the Jedi Order, and a life under their restrictions.

Qui Gon Jinn was wrong. He was deluded by the false lures of “prophecy” and “midichlorian levels.” He was drawn in by Anakin’s power and destiny and decided that this was best accomplished by bringing this very attached, very traumatized child into the Jedi Order against everyone else’s better judgment.

Qui Gon Jinn was a good man, but his failing was pride. And even granted that he was right, Anakin DID eventually “bring balance to the galaxy”, it was only after he helped make the imbalance like a million times worse. The galaxy became a worse place for quite some time because of Anakin Skywalker, and they’re still feeling the effects.

Now, is Grogu quite so bad off? It’s hard to say. He’s younger than Anakin, maturity speaking. We don’t know about his species’ biology, so it’s possible that the romantic/marriage restrictions wouldn’t be an issue. (If indeed Luke wants to keep those in place.)

We do know that there were a couple of times when Grogu was alarmed enough to flirt with the dark side. When he choked Cara for example. Or when he thought that the robot was going to kill him in the Prisoner. Obviously Din saved him first, but look at that gesture and the look on the baby’s face and tell me that he wasn’t TRYING for force lightning in that moment.

So, maybe it really isn’t a great idea to separate a traumatized child from a devoted, loving and protective parent. At least not until you’re sure said child’s had a chance to recover from his horrible experience.

And the thing is, for the entirety of the Mandalorian, no one actually asks Grogu what he wants. Din is tasked with returning Grogu with his people. He sincerely believes that’s what’s best for the baby, and until meeting Ahsoka, he really doesn’t have a way to communicate clearly with the baby at all. But I remember that Grogu seemed a little hesitant to send out the signal when he has the chance. And while he does go off with Luke willingly at the end of the season, it is completely understandable that he might have changed his mind.

So Luke finally sits the poor kid down and asks him what he wants: does he want to stay here? Or does he want to go home to his parent? And Grogu finally gets to make his own choice.

How is that an example of Luke “failing” Grogu?

(I mean, okay, the dude COULD have brought Grogu to Tatooine himself instead of sending him with chaos robot 1.0, but I feel like that is probably not the gist of the article’s complaint.)

So anyway, Luke did not fail any of his students. He made mistakes, sure. But their choices are theirs.

#magic barbarian farmer from the ass end of the universe #rey skywalker #poor little serial killer #the cutest magic cat baby ever

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nebou · 2 years

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tbs honestly upsets me so much because lauren IS actually pretty good at representing certain things entirely on a character basis (damien is actually a really good portrayal of a neglect survivor who develops harmful maladaptions to survive, and also how difficult and frustrating it can be to stop said maladaptions when you have absolutely no frame of reference for what relationships of any kind are supposed to look like, which doesn't go away during adulthood even if you're expected to "know better" without actual guidance (which people don't realize having learned those things from experience growing up because they take it for granted) and also being in a position where you feel safe and comfortable enough to be able to drop them in the first place!) but the way she USES those characters makes me want to grit my teeth until they turn to dust ("damien is Bad because he's the Bad Kind of abuse survivor and those survivors are Bad and they Don't Want to do better and that's why they won't (nevermind that nobody will help them no matter how much they reach out ignore that)"), but the BIGGEST sticking point for me was mostly how damien (who has at most interpersonal power over others) gets run through the wringer even though he clearly DOES want to do better, whereas wadsworth (who has enormous systematic power being basically the CEO of a big government organization that MEDICALLY TORTURES PEOPLE) gets away with basically a slap on the wrist because Famiwy. like this could honestly be commentary on how traumatized mentally ill people with maladaptions and no societal supports are often failed by the psychiatric system and even further traumatized by having the rug pulled out from under them at all times and big important people in powerful positions in corporations are allowed to just do whatever they want without real consequences but instead it's a W because damien is an Icky Mentally Ill Man and wadsworth is a Girlboss. i'm so sorry i've unleashed this here something was Awoken in me

lauren IS actually pretty good at representing certain things entirely on a character basis [...] but the way she USES those characters makes me want to grit my teeth until they turn to dust ("damien is Bad because he's the Bad Kind of abuse survivor and those survivors are Bad and they Don't Want to do better and that's why they won't

YES! YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS ! i think TBS was meant to be a story about queer/neurodivergent people and an empowering story about how they Stick It To The Man......but end up repeating this issue of accountability in society in the most ironic way possible. i'm glad i'm not the only one who goes a little nuts at the topic because it's honestly just SO FRUSTRATING.

manipulate mansplain malewife Damien gets more abandonment trauma as well as has to relearn how to LIVE(which i'm sure all of us who had a full education and resources still struggle with)whereas gaslight gatekeep girlboss Wadsworth is on bad terms w her nephew : [[[[[[ both are found narratively Bad and yet for whatever reason only Damien is the one to face any real consequences.......as someone who in his last episode revealed a very deep want for personal growth and actually displayed some.........and as a neurodivergent guy........and a queer.............and a child neglect victim to the most severe degree.........................and now poor and broke........... but hey. that's a W for the rest of the cast right. why show a story about love and growth in even the most unlikeliest of people in your story about love and growth.........

i believe we're entitled to be at least a little bit unhinged by this.

#TBS traumatized my ability to trust authors to stick to their themes and i want compensation #all i have is this all consuming obsession with this funky lil no-gooder #tbs #the bright sessions #anon #the raccoon speaks #damien gorham

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ariainstars · 4 years

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Thank You, Disney Lucasfilm… For Destroying My Dreams

Warning: longer post.

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So… I watched The Rise of Skywalker on Disney+ a few weeks ago. Again.

Sigh.

I guess it has its good sides. But professional critics tend to dislike it and even the general audience doesn’t go crazy for it. I wonder why?

The Fantasy

When his saga became a groundbreaking pop phenomenon in the 1970es, George Lucas reportedly said that he wanted to tell fairy tales again in world that no longer seemed to offer young people a chance to grow up with them. The fact that his saga was met with such unabashed, international enthusiasm proves that he was right: people long for fairy tales no matter how old they are and what culture they belong to.

“Young people today don’t have a fantasy life anymore, not the way we did… All they’ve got is Kojak and Dirty Harry. All the films they see are movies of disasters and insecurity and realistic violence.” (George Lucas)

I’ve been a Star Wars fan for more than thirty years. I love the Original Trilogy but honestly it did not make me dream much, perhaps because when I saw it the trilogy was already complete. The Prequel Trilogy also did not inspire my fantasy.

The Last Jedi accomplished something that no TV show, book or film had managed in years: it made me dream. The richness of colorful characters, multifaceted themes, unexpected developments, intriguing relationships was something I had not come across in a long time: it fascinated me. I felt like a giddy teenager reading up meta’s, writing my own and imagining all sorts of beautiful endings for the saga for almost two years.

So if there’s something The Rise of Skywalker can pride itself on for me, it’s that it crushed almost every dream I had about it. The few things I had figured out – Rey’s fall to the Dark, Ben Solo’s redemption, the connection between them - did not even make me happy because they were tainted by the flatness of the storytelling reducing the Force to a superpower again (like the general audience seems to believe it is), and its deliberate ignoring of almost all messages of The Last Jedi.

Many fans of the Original Trilogy also were disillusioned by the saga over the decades and ranted at the studios for “destroying their childhood”. Now we, the fans of the sequels and in particular of The Last Jedi, are in the same situation… but the thought doesn’t make the pill much easier to swallow. What grates on my nerves is the feeling that someone trampled on my just newly found dreams like a naughty child kicking a doll’s house apart. Why give us something to dream of in the first place, then? To a certain extent I can understand that many fans would angrily assume that Disney Lucasfilm made the Sequel Trilogy for the purpose of destroying their idea of the saga. The point is that they had their happy ending, while every dream the fans of the Sequel Trilogy may have had was shattered with this unexpectedly flat and hollow final note.

I know many fans who dislike the Prequel Trilogy heartily. I also prefer the Original Trilogy, but I find the prequels all right in their own way, also since I gave them some thought. However, it can’t be denied that they lack the magic spark which made the Original Trilogy so special. Which makes sense since they are not a fairy tale but ultimately a tragedy, but in my opinion it’s the one of the main reasons why the Prequel Trilogy never was quite so successful, or so beloved.

Same goes for Rogue One, Solo, or Clone Wars. They’re ok in their way, but not magical.

The sequel trilogy started quite satisfyingly with The Force Awakens, but for me, the actual bomb dropped with The Last Jedi. Reason? It was a magical story. It had the spark again that I had missed in the new Star Wars stories for decades! And it was packed full of beautiful messages and promises.

The Force is not a superpower belonging solely to the Jedi Anyone can be a hero. Even the greatest heroes can fail, but they will still be heroes. Hope is like the sun: if you only believe in it when you see it you’ll never make it through the night. Failure is the greatest teacher. It’s more important to save the light than to seem a hero. No one is never truly gone. War is only a machine. Dark Side and Light Side can be unbeatable if they are allies. Save what you love instead of destroying what you hate.

Naively, I assumed the trilogy would continue and end in that same magical way. And then came The Rise of Skywalker… which looks and feels like a Marvel superhero story at best and an over-long videogame at worst.

Chekov’s Gun

“Remove everything that has no relevance to the story. If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it’s not going to be fired, it shouldn’t be hanging there.”

(Anton Chekov, 1860 - 1904)

If you show an important looking prop and don’t put it to use, it leaves the audience feeling baffled. There is a huge difference between a story’s setup, and the audience’s feeling of entitlement. E.g. many viewers expected Luke to jump right back into the fray in Episode VIII, because that’s what a hero does, isn’t it? The cavalry comes and saves the day. And instead, we met a disillusioned elderly hermit who is tired of the ways of the Jedi. But there was no actual reason for disappointment: in Episode VII it was very clearly said (through Han, his best friend) that Luke had gone into exile on purpose, feeling responsible for his failure in teaching a new generation of Jedi. It would have been more than stupid to show him as an all-powerful and all-knowing man who kills the bad guys. Sorry but who expected that was a victim to his own prejudice.

A promise left unfulfilled is a different story. The Last Jedi set up a lot of promises that didn’t come true in The Rise of Skywalker: Balance as announced by the Jedi temple mosaic, a new Jedi Order hinted at by Luke on Crait, a good ending for Ben and Rey set up by the hand-touching scene which was opposite to Anakin’s and Padmés wedding scene. Many fans were annoyed about the Canto Bight sequence. I liked it because it felt like the set-up for a lot of important stuff: partnership between Finn and Rose whom we see working together excellently, freedom for the enslaved children (one of whom is Force-sensitive), DJ and Rose expressing what makes wars in general foolish and beside the point. So if we, the fans of Episode VIII, now feel angry and let down, I daresay it’s not due to entitlement. We were announced magical outcomes and not just pew-pew.

The Star Wars saga never repeated itself but always developed and enlarged its themes, so it was to be expected that delving deeper, uncomfortable truths would come out: wars don’t start out of nowhere, and they don’t flare up and continue for decades for the same reason. In order to find Balance, the Jedi’s and the Skywalker family’s myths needed to be dismantled. Which is not necessarily bad as long it is explained how things came to this, and a better alternative is offered. The prequels explained the old political order and the beginnings of the Skywalker family, and announced that the next generation would do better. The sequels hardly explained anything about the 30 years that passed since our heroes won the battle against the Empire, and while The Last Jedi hinted at the future a lot, The Rise of Skywalker seemed to make a point of ignoring all of it.

The Skywalker Family Is Obliterated. Why?

Luke was proven right that his nephew would mean the end of everything he loved. The lineage of the Chosen One is gone. His grandson had begun where Vader had ended - tormented, pale and with sad eyes - and he met the same fate. Luke, Han, Leia, all sacrificed themselves to bring Ben Solo back for nothing. Him being the reincarnation of the Chosen One and getting a new chance should have been meaningful for all of them; instead, he literally left the scepter to Rey who did nothing to deserve it: merely because she killed the Bad Guy does not mean she will do a better job than the family whose name and legacy she proudly takes over.

I do hope there was a good reason if the sequels did not tell “The New Adventures of Luke, Leia and Han” and instead showed us a broken family on the eve of its wipeout. It would have been much easier, and more fun for the audience, to bring the trio back again after a few years and pick up where they had left. Instead we had to watch their son, nephew and heir go his grandfather’s way - born with huge power, branded as Meant to Be Dangerous from the start, tried his best to be a Jedi although he wanted to be a pilot, never felt accepted, abandoned in the moment of his greatest need, went to his abuser because he was the only one to turn to, became a criminal, his own family (in Anakin’s case: Obi-Wan and Yoda) trained the person who was closest to him to kill him, sacrificed himself for this person and died. And in his case, it’s particularly frustrating because Kylo Ren wasn’t half as impressive a villain as Vader, and Ben Solo had a very limited time of heroism and personal fulfilment, contrarily to Anakin when he was young.

The impact of The Rise of Skywalker was traumatic for some viewers. I know of adolescents and adults, victims of family abandonment and abuse, who identified with Ben: they were told that you can never be more than the sum of your abuse and abandonment, and that they’re replaceable if they’re not “good”. Children identifying with Rey were told that their parents might sell them away for “protection”. Rey was not conflicted, she had a few doubts but overall, she was cool about everything she did, so she got everything on a silver platter; that’s why as a viewer, after a while you stopped caring for her. Her antagonist was doomed from birth because he dared to question the choices other people made for him. It seems that in the Star Wars universe, you can only “rise” if you’re either a criminal but cool because you’ve always got a bucket over your head (Vader / the Mandalorian) or are a saint-like figure (Luke / Rey).

One of Obi-Wan’s first actions in A New Hope is cutting off someone’s arm who was only annoying him; Han Solo, ditto. These were no acts of self-defense. The Mandalorian is an outlaw. Yet they are highly popular. Why? Because they always keep their cool, so anything they do seems justified. Young Anakin was hated, Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christensen attacked for his portrayal. For the same reason many fans feel that Luke is the least important of the original trio although basically the Original Trilogy is his story: it seems the general audience hates nothing more than emotionality in a guy. They want James Bond, Batman or Indiana Jones as the lead. Padmé loved Anakin because she always saw the good little boy he once was in him; his attempts at impressing her with his flirting or his masculinity failed. Kylo tried to impress Rey with his knowledge and power, but she fled from him - she wanted the gentle, emphatic young man who had listened to her when she felt alone. Good message. But both died miserably, and Ben didn’t even get anything but a kiss. Realizing that his “not being as strong as Darth Vader” might actually be a strength of its own would have meant much more.

The heroes of the Original Trilogy had their adventures together and their happy ending; the heroes of the Prequel Trilogy also had good times and accomplishments in their youth, before everything went awry. Rey, Finn and Poe feel like their friendship hardly got started; Rose was almost obliterated from the narrative; and Ben Solo seems to have had only one happy moment in his entire life. Of course it’s terrible that he committed patricide (even if it was under coercion), but Anakin / Vader himself had two happy endings in the Prequel Trilogy before he became the monster we know so well. Not to mention Clone Wars, where he has heroic moments unnumbered.

The Skywalker family is obliterated without Balance in the Force, and the young woman who inherited all doesn’t seem to have learned any lesson from all this. The Original Trilogy became a part of pop culture among other things because its ending was satisfying. We can hardly be expected to be satisfied with an ending where our heroes are all dead and the heir of their worst enemy takes over. What good was the happy ending of the Original Trilogy for if they didn’t learn enough from their misadventures to learn how to protect one single person - their son and nephew, their future?

For a long time, I also thought that the saga was about Good vs. Evil. Watching the prequels again, I came to the conclusion that it is rather about Love vs. War. And now, considering as a whole, I believe it to be essentially Jedi against Skywalker. The ending, as it is now, says that both fractions lost: they annihilated one another, leaving a third party in charge, who believes to be both but actually knows very little about them.

Star Wars and Morality

After 9 films and 42 years, it still is not possible to make the general audience accept that it is wrong to divide people between Good and Evil in the first place. The massive rejection of both prequels and sequels, which have moral grey zones galore, shows it.

It is also not possible without being accused of actual blasphemy in the same fandom, to say the plain truth that no Skywalker ever was a Jedi at heart. As their name says, they’re pilots. Luke was the last and strongest of all Jedi because he always was first and foremost himself. Anakin was crushed by the Jedi’s attempts to stifle his feelings. His grandson, too. A Force-sensitive person ought to have the choice whether they want to be a Jedi or not; they ought not to be taught to suppress their emotions and live only on duty, without really caring for other people; and they ought to grow up feeling in a safe and loving environment, not torn away from their families in infancy, indoctrinated and provided with a light sabre (a deadly weapon) while they’re still small. A Jedi order composed of child soldiers or know-it-all’s does not really help anybody.

The original Star Wars saga was about love and friendship; although many viewers did not want to understand that message. The prequels portrayed the Jedi as detached and arrogant and Anakin Skywalker sympathetically, a huge disappointment for who only accepts stories of the “lonesome cowboy” kind. The Last Jedi was so hated that The Rise of Skywalker backpedaled: sorry, of course you’re right, here you have your “hero who knows everything better and fixes everything for you on a silver platter”. The embarrassing antihero, who saves the girl who was the only person showing him some human compassion, can die miserably in the process and is not even mourned.

Honestly: I was doubtful whether it would be adequate to give Ben Solo a happy ending after the patricide. I guess letting him die was the easiest way out for the authors to escape censorship. (I even wrote this in a review on amazon about The Last Jedi, before I delved deeper into the saga’s themes.) The messages we got now are even worse.

Kylo Ren / Ben Solo

A parent can replace a child if they’re not the way they expect them to be. A victim of lifelong psychical and physical abuse can only find escape in death, whether he damns or redeems himself. An introspective, sensitive young man is a loser no matter how hard he tries either way. A whole family can sacrifice itself to save their heir, he dies anyway.

Rey

Self-righteousness is acceptable as long as you find a scapegoat for your own failings. Overconfidence justifies anything you do. You can’t carve your way as a female child of “nobodies”, you have to descend from someone male and powerful even if that someone is the devil incarnate. You are a “strong female” if you choose to be lonely; you need neither a partner nor friends.

In General

Star Wars is not about individual choices, loyalty, friendship and love, it is a classic Western story with a lonesome cowboy (in this case: cowgirl) at its centre. Satisfied?

The father-son-relationship between Vader and Luke mirrors the Biblical story of Cain and Abel, saying that whoever we may want to kill is, in truth, our kin, which makes a clear separation in Good and Evil impossible. The “I am your father” scene is so infamous by now that even non-fans are aware of it; but this relationship between evil guy and good guy, as well as the plot turns where the villain saves the hero and that the hero discards his weapon are looked upon rather as weird narrative quirks instead of a moral.

In an action movie fan, things are simple: good guy vs. bad guy, the good guy (e.g. James Bond may be a murderer and a misogynist, but that’s ok because he’s cool about it) kills the bad guy, ka-boom, end of story. But Star Wars is a parable, an ambitious project told over decades of cinema, and a multilayered story with recurring themes.

A fairy tale ought to have a moral. The moral of both Original Trilogy and Prequel Trilogy was compassionate love - choose it and you can end a raging conflict, reject it and you will cause it. What was the moral of the Sequel Trilogy? You can be the offspring of the galaxy’s worst terror and display a similar attitude, but pose as a Jedi and kill unnecessarily, and it’s all right; descend from Darth Vader (who himself was a victim long before he became a culprit) and whether you try to become a Jedi trained by Luke Skywalker or a Sith trained by his worst enemy, you will end badly?

Both original and prequel trilogy often showed “good” people making bad choices and the “bad ones” making the right choices. To ensure lasting peace, no Force user ought to be believe that he must choose one side and then stick to it for the rest of his life: both sides need one another. The prequels took 3 films to convey this message, though not saying so openly. The Last Jedi said it out clearly - and the authors almost had their heads ripped off by affronted fans, resulting in The Rise of Skywalker’s fan service. It’s not like Luke, Han and Leia were less heroic in the Sequel Trilogy, on the contrary, they gave everything they had to their respective cause. They were not united, and they were more human than they had once been. Apparently, that’s an affront.

The Jedi are no perfect heroes and know-it-all’s and they never were, the facts are there for everyone to see. Padmé went alone and pregnant to get her husband out of Mustafar - and she almost succeeded - although she knew what he had done and that he was perfectly capable of it (he had told her of the Tusken village massacre himself) because she still saw the good little boy he had been in him; Obi-Wan left him amputated and burning in the lava, although he had raised Anakin like a small brother and the latter had repeatedly saved his life. But Padmé was not a Jedi, so I guess she still had some human decency. Neither Obi-Wan nor Yoda lifted a finger for the oppressed populations of the galaxy during the Empire, waiting instead for Anakin’s son to grow up so they could trick him into committing patricide. Neither Luke nor Leia did anything for their own son and nephew while he became the scourge of the galaxy, damning his soul by committing crime after crime. On Exegol, Rey heard the voices of all Jedi encouraging her to fight Palpatine to death. After that, they left her to die alone, and the alleged “bad guy”, who had already saved her soul from giving in to Palpatine’s lures, had to save her life by giving her his own. The Jedi merely know that “their side” has to win, no matter the cost for anyone’s life, sanity, integrity or happiness.

Excuse me, these are simple facts. How anyone can still believe that the Jedi were super-powerful heroes who always win or all-knowing wizards who are always right is beyond me. Luke, the last and strongest of them, like a bright flickering of light before the ultimate end, showed us that the best of men can fail. There is nothing wrong with that in itself. But it is wrong and utterly frustrating when all of the failure never leads to anything better. If Rey means to rebuild the Jedi order to something better than it was, there was no hint at that whatsoever.

And What Now?

The Last Jedi hit theatres only 2 years before The Rise of Skywalker, and I can’t imagine that the responsible authors all have forgotten how to make competent work in the meantime; more so considering that Solo or The Mandalorian are solid work. Episode IX is thematically so painfully flat it seems like they wanted us to give up on the saga on purpose. The last instalment of a 42-year-old saga ought to have been the best and most meaningful. I had heard already decades ago that the saga was supposed to have 9 chapters, so I was not among who protested against the sequels thinking that they had been thought up to make what had come before invalid. I naively assumed a larger purpose. But Episode IX only seems to prove these critics perfectly right.

The last of the flesh and blood of the Chosen One is dead without having “finished what his grandfather started”?

Still no Balance in the Force?

And worst of all, Palpatine’s granddaughter taking over, having proven repeatedly that she is not suited for the task?

Sorry, this “ending” is absurd. I have read fanfiction that was better written and more interesting. And, most of all, less depressing. I was counting on a conclusion that showed that the Force has all colours and nuances, and that it’s not limited to the black-and-white view “we against them”. That’s the ending all of us fans would have deserved, instead of catering the daddy issues of the part of the audience who doesn’t want stories other than those of the “lonesome cowboy” kind. I myself grew up on Japanese anime, maybe that’s one of the reasons why I can’t stand guys like James Bond or Batman and why I think you don’t need “a great hero who fixes the situation” but that group spirit and communication are way more important.

It was absolutely unexpected that Disney, the production company whose trademark are happy endings and family stories, would end this beloved and successful saga after almost half a century on such a hollow note. Why tell first a beautiful fairy tale and then leave the audience on a hook for 35 years to continue first with a tragedy (which at least was expected) and then with another (unexpected one)? And this story is supposed to be for children? Like children would understand all of the subtext, and love sad, cautionary tales. Children, as well as the general audience, first of all want to be entertained! No one wants to watch the legendary Skywalker family be obliterated and a Palpatine take over. The sequels were no fun anymore; we’ve been left with another open ending and hardly an explanation about what happened in the 30 years in between. If you want to tell a cautionary tale, you should better warn the general audience beforehand.

The Original Trilogy is so good because it’s entertaining and offers room for thought for who wants to think about its deeper themes, and also leaves enough space for dreams. Same goes for the first two films of the Sequel Trilogy; but precisely the last, which should have wrapped up the saga, leaves us with a bitter aftertaste and dozens of questions marks.

We as the audience believe that a story, despite the tragic things that happen, must go somewhere; we get invested into the characters, we root for them, we want to see them happy in the end. (The authors of series like Girls, How I Met Your Mother or Game of Thrones ought to be reminded of that, too.) I was in contact with children and teenagers saying that the Sequel Trilogy are “boring”; and many, children or adults, who were devastated by its concluson. There is a difference between wanting to tell a cautionary tale and playing the audience for fools. This trilogy could have become legendary like the Original Trilogy, had it fulfilled its promises instead of “keeping it low” with its last chapter. Who watches a family or fantasy story or a romantic / comedic sitcom wants to escape into another world, not to be hit over his head with a mirror to his own failings, and the ones of the society he’s living in. Messages are all right, but they ought not to go at the cost of the audience’s satisfaction about the about the people and narrative threads they have invested in for years.

This isn’t a family story: but children probably didn’t pester the studios with angry e-mails and twitter messages etc. They simply counted on a redemption arc and happy ending, and they were right, because they’re not as stupid as adults are. I have read and watched many a comment from fans who hate The Last Jedi. Many of these fans couldn’t even pinpoint what their rage was all about, they only proved to be stuck with the original trilogy and unwilling to widen their horizon. But at least their heroes had had their happy ending: The Rise of Skywalker obliterated the successes of all three generations of Skywalkers.

If the film studios wanted to tease us, they’ve excelled. If they expect the general audience to break their heads over the sequels’ metaphysics, they have not learned from the reactions to the prequels that most viewers take these films at face value. Not everybody is elbows-deep in the saga, or willing to research about it for months, and / or insightful enough to see the story’s connections. Which is why many viewers frown at the narrative and believe the Sequel Trilogy was just badly written. This trilogy could have become legendary like the Original Trilogy, had it fulfilled its promises instead of “keeping it low” with its last chapter. As it is now, the whole trilogy is hanging somewhere in the air, with neither a past nor a future to be tied in with.

The prequels already had the flaw of remaining too obscure: most fans are not aware that Anakin had unwillingly killed his wife during the terrible operation that turned him into Darth Vader, sucking her life out of her through the Force: most go by “she died of a broken heart”. So although one scene mirrors the other, it is not likely that most viewers will understand what Rey’s resurrection meant. And: Why did Darth Maul kill Qui-Gon Jinn? What did the Sith want revenge for? Who was behind Shmi’s abduction and torture? Who had placed the order for the production of the clones, and to what purpose? We can imagine or try to reconstruct the answers, but nothing is confirmed by the story itself.

The sequels remained even more in the dark, obfuscating what little explanation we got in The Rise of Skywalker with quick pacing and mind-numbing effects.

Kylo Ren had promised his grandfather that “he would finish what he started”: he did not. Whatever one can say of this last film, it did not bring Balance in the Force. What’s worse, the subject was not even breached. It was hinted at by the mosaic on the floor of the Prime Jedi Temple on Ahch-To, but although Luke and Rey were sitting on its border, they never seemed to see what was right under their noses. It remains inexplicable why it was there for everyone to see in the first place.

We might argue that Ben finished what his grandfather started by killing (or better, causing the death of) the last Jedi, who this one couldn’t kill because he was his own son; but leaving Rey in charge, he helped her finish what her grandfather had started. The irony could hardly be worse.

Episode IX looks like J.J. Abrams simply completed what they started with Episode VII, largely ignoring the next film as if it was always planned to do so. We, the angry and disappointed fans of The Last Jedi, may believe it was due to some of the general audience’s angry backlash, but honestly: the studios aren’t that dumb. They had to know that Episode VIII would be controversial and that many fans would hate it. The furious reactions were largely a disgrace, but no one can make me believe that they were totally unexpected. Nor can anyone convince me that The Rise of Skywalker was merely an answer to the small but very loud part of the audience who hated The Last Jedi: a company with the power and the returns of Disney Lucasfilm does not need to buckle down before some fan’s entitlement and narrowmindedness out of fear of losing money. And if they do, it was foolish to make Rey so perfect that she becomes almost odious, and to let the last of the Skywalker blood die a meaningless death. (Had he saved the Canto Bight children and left them with Rey, at least he would have died with honor; and she, the child left behind by her parents, would have had a task to dedicate herself to.)

The only reason I can find for this odd ending is that it’s meant to prepare the way for Rian Johnson’s new trilogy, which - hopefully - will finally be about Balance. We as the audience don’t know what’s going on behind the doors. Filmmaking is a business like any other, i.e. based on contracts; and I first heard that Rian Johnson had negotiated a trilogy of his own since before Episode VIII hit theatres. Maybe he kept all the rights of intellectual property to his own film, including that he would finish the threads he picked up and close the narrative circles he opened, and only he; and that his alleged working on “something completely different” is deliberately misleading.

Some viewers love the original trilogy, some love the prequels, some like both; but I hardly expect anyone to love the sequel trilogy as a whole. What with the first instalment “letting the past die, killing it if they had to”, the second hinting at a promising future and the third patched on at the very last like some sort of band-aid, it was not coherent. I heard the responsible team for Game of Thrones even dropped their work, producing a dissatisfying, quickly sewn together last season, for this new Star Wars project and thereby disappointing millions of GoT fans; I hope they are aware of the expectations they have loaded upon them. George Lucas’ original trilogy had its faults, but but though there was no social media yet in his time, at least he was still close enough to the audience to give them what they needed, if not necessarily wanted. (Some fans can’t accept that Luke and Leia are siblings to this day, even if honestly, it was the very best plot twist to finish their story in a satisfying way.)

I’m hoping for now that The Last Jedi was not some love bombing directed at the more sentimental viewers but a promise that will be fulfilled. “Wrapping up” a saga by keeping the flattest, least convincing chapter for last is bad form. Star Wars did not become a pop phenomenon by accident, but because the original story was convincing and satisfying. Endings like these will hardly make anyone remember a story fondly, on the contrary, the audience will move to another fandom to forget their disappointment.

On a side note, I like The Mandalorian, exactly for the reason that that is a magical story; not as much as the original trilogy, but at least a little. Of course, I’m glad it was produced. But it’s a small consolation prize after the mess that supposedly wrapped up the original saga after 9 films.

We’re Not Blind, You Know…

- Though Kylo Ren (Ben Solo) has Darth Vader’s stature, his facial features are practically opposite to Vader’s creepy mask. This should have foreshadowed that his life should have gone the other way, instead of more or less repeating itself. - As a villain Kylo was often unconvincing; by all logic he should have been a good father figure. (Besides, Star Wars films or series never work unless there is a strong father or father figure at their center.)

- Like Vader, Kylo Ren was redeemed, but not rehabilitated. Who knows who may find his broken mask somewhere now and, not knowing the truth, promise “I will finish what you started”. - The hand-touching scene on Ahch-To which was visually opposite to Anakin’s and Padmé’s should not have predicted another tragedy but a happy ending for them. - The Canto Bight sequence was announcing reckoning for the weapon industry and freedom for the enslaved children. It also showed how well Finn and Rose fit together. - Rey was a good girl before she started on her adventures. Like Anakin or Luke, she did not need to become a Jedi to be strong or generous or heroic. - Rey summons Palpatine after one year of training. Kylo practically begged for his grandfather’s assistance for years, to no avail. Her potential for darkness is obviously much stronger. - Dark Rey’s light sabre looked like a fork, Kylo’s like a cross. - The last time all Jedi and Sith were obliterated leaving only Luke in charge, things went awry. Now we have a Palpatine masquerading as a Skywalker and believing she’s a Jedi. Rey is a usurper and universally cheered after years of war, like her grandfather. - The broom boy of Canto Bight looked like he was sweeping a stage and announcing “Free the stage, it’s time for us, the children.”

Rey failed in all instances where Luke had proved himself (so much for feminism and her being a Mary Sue): - Luke had forgiven his father despite all the pain he had inflicted on him. She stabbed the „bad guy”, who had repeatedly protected and comforted her, to death. - Luke never asked Vader to help the Rebellion or to turn to the Light Side, he only wanted him back as his father. She assumed that you could make Ben Solo turn, give up the First Order and join the Resistance for her. She thought of her friends and of her own validation, not of him. - Luke had made peace by choosing peace. Rey fought until the bitter end. - Luke had thrown his weapon away before Palpatine. Rey picked up a second weapon. (And both of them weren’t even her own.) - Luke had mourned his dead father. Rey didn’t shed a tear for the man she is bonded to by the Force. - Luke went back to his friends to celebrate the new peace with them. Rey went back letting everyone celebrate her like the one who saved the galaxy on her own, she who were tempted to become the new evil ruler of the galaxy and had to rely on the alleged Bad Guy to save both her soul and her body. - Luke had embodied compassion when Palpatine was all about hatred. Where he chose love and faith in his father, she chose violence and fear. - Luke had briefly fallen prey to the Dark Side but it made him realize that he had no right to judge his father. Rey’s fall to the Dark Side did not make her wiser. - Rey has no change of mind on finding out that she’s Palpatine’s flesh and blood, nor after she has stabbed Kylo. Luke had to face himself on learning that he had almost become a patricide. Rey does not have to face herself: the revelation of her ancestry is cushioned by Luke’s and Leia’s support. Rey is and remains an uncompromising person who hardly learns from her faults.

This is cheating on the audience. And it's not due to feminism or Rey being some sort of “Mary Sue” the way many affronted fans claim. Kylo never was truly a villain, Rey is not a heroine, and this is not a happy ending. The Jedi, with their stuck-up conviction “only we must win”, have failed all over again. The Skywalker family was obliterated leaving their worst enemy in charge. Rey is supposed to be a “modern” heroine which young girls can take as an example? No, thank you. Not after this last film has made of her. Padmé was a much better role model, combining intelligence with strength and goodness and also female grace. The world does not need entitled female brats.

Bonus: What Made The Rise of Skywalker a Farce

- The Force Awakens was an ok film and The Last Jedi (almost) a masterpiece. The Rise of Skywalker was a cartoon. No wonder a lot of the acting felt and looked wooden. - “I will earn your brother’s light sabre.” She’s holding his father’s sabre. - Kylo in The Last Jedi: “Let the past die. Kill it if, you have to.” Beginning with me? - Rey ends up on Tatooine. - The planet both Anakin and Luke ardently wanted to leave. - Luke had promised his nephew that he would be around for him. - Nope. - Rey had told Ben that she had seen his future. What future was that - “you will be a hero for ten minutes, get a kiss and then die? (And they didn’t even get a love theme.) - “The belonging you seek is not behind you, it is ahead.” On a desert planet with a few ghosts. What of the ocean she used to dream about? - Ben and Rey were both introduced as two intensely lonely people searching for belonging. We learn they are a Force dyad, and then they are torn apart again. - Why was Ben named for Obi-Wan Kenobi in the first place, if they have absolutely nothing in common? - The Throne Room battle scene in The Last Jedi was clearly showing that when they are in balance, Light Side and Dark Side are unbeatable. Why did the so-called “Light Side” have to win again, in The Rise of Skywalker, instead of finding balance? - Luke’s scene on Ahch-To was so ridiculously opposite to his attitude in The Last Jedi that by now I believe he was a fantasy conjectured by her. (Like Ben’s vision of his father.) - Anakin’s voice among the other Jedi’s. - He was a renegade, for Force’s sake. - The kiss between two females. - More fan service, to appease those who pretended that not making Poe and Finn a couple was a sign of homophobia. - We see the Knights of Ren, but we learn absolutely nothing about them or Kylo’s connection with them. - Rose Tico’s invalidation. - A shame after what the actress had gone through because for the fans she was “not Star-Wars-y” (chubby and lively instead of wiry and spitfire). - Finn’s and Rose’s relationship. - Ignored without any explanation. - Finn may or may not be Force-sensitive. - If he is: did he abandon the First Order not due to his own free will but because of some higher willpower? Great. - General Hux was simply obliterated. - In The Force Awakens he was an excellent foil to Kylo Ren; no background story, no humanization for him. - Chewie’s and 3PO’s faked deaths. - Useless additional drama. - The Force Awakens was a bow before the classic trilogy. The Rise of Skywalker kicked its remainders to pieces. - The Prequel Trilogy ended with hope, the Original Trilogy with love. The Sequel Trilogy ends on a blank slate. - “We are what they grow beyond.” The characters of the Sequel Trilogy did not grow beyond the heroes of the Original Trilogy. - The Jedi did not learn from their mistakes and were obliterated. The Skywalker family understood the mistakes they had made too late. Now they’re gone, too.

P.S. While I was watching The Rise of Skywalker my husband came in asked me since when I like Marvel movies. I said “That’s not a Marvel movie, it’s Star Wars.” I guess that says enough.

P.P.S. For the next trilogy, please at least let the movies hit theatres in May again instead of December. a) It’s tradition for Star Wars films, b) Whatever happens, at least you won’t ruin anyone’s Christmases. Thank you.

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iamacolor · 6 years

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Different anon (felt the need to invite myself to the conversation). Now that you've mentioned, I realized we really don't know enough about Jonah's life. I've never noticed it before because Jonah is such a big part of the show and we do know a lot about his personality, but I feel like Jonah and Garrett are the ones whose lives outside the store we know the less. I've finished re-watching season 1 and 2 and here are the things I could collect about him: He went to business school for a while +

I guess he did something else in the mean time between high school and college, because he only spent a year there and he left it around the time he was hired at the store. He has at least two brothers who have children because he mentioned it on the episode Emma appears for the first time. I get the feeling they are younger because he said he played with them.. Since the show's been on for 3 years, the oldest I'd give them would be 11. I believe what he told Amy about having debts and flunking out of college, but that whole story about partying and stuff doesn't sound convincing to me? I think that was him trying to pretend to be cool because my headcanon is that he was unmotivated and feeling a little lonely. Nothing traumatic, but I guess he wanted a sense of belonging and that's why he applied for that job. I also believe that's why he tries to get on with everyone and have them getting on with each other? And I feel like he is such a caretaker, the times he talks about himself is mostly trivial stuff, so far he's been more of a listener to people than the other way around. I like that. But I do want learn more about him and his family. I want to see his brothers and nephew(s)/niece(s). And more vulnerability of him. Like, we've seen a little bit of hurt and jealousy when it comes to Amy, but I want to know what's in his mind. Yeah, the timing was tricky because the kiss happened during a tornado and when Amy was getting a divorce after a decade of marriage and they spent some time apart before the re-opening. Not to mention that dating your supervisor is already complicated enough. So I get them not bringing the kiss up again and acting like it's never happened and I appreciate Jonah for not being that selfish and entitled guy who pressures the woman he wants to be with and ignores that she already has too much to deal with. However, he probably took it as if Amy regretted the kiss and now everything's messier. :( I want him to talk about this and other stuff to someone. And I know he is probably insecure but I want him to make the move next time. I feel like Amy is afraid of changes so she keeps a lot to herself and only kissed him because of the situation, but still, on that moment she took the risk. Then, she acted like it'd never happened because she was afraid of losing his friendship and Jonah believed she just doesn't have feelings for him. It's frustrating but so well-written, ugh. But I need Jonah to find the guts to be honest with her, because imo Amy just needs to hear that no matter what happens they'll still be best friends to safe enough to give it a chance.

Hi Anon! Welcome to the conversation haha this is an amazing message, thanks for sharing all this!

I agree with everything, we really don’t know enough about jonah (and same goes for garrett you’re right) I agree that the partying thing doesn’t sound convincing and it doesn’t really fit him.When you say “ so far he's been more of a listener to people than the other way around” that was very on point! he cam einto the store to find a job and he found amazing peopel but this wasn’t his initial plan so I’m wondering how he feels nwo becaus ehe obviously likes it here but I wish we had more background informations to understand why it matters to him. And I siding with you when you ask fro more vulnerability from him. Does he have doubts about his future? or anything else? what doe she want in life?

An dyeah I also understand why they decided to not bring up the kiss but it lead to both of them misinterpreting the situation. Especially now that amy has shared her feelings with dina I want Jonah to find someone he can talk about this stuffs with instead of always denying it. And then there’s the situation with kelly which is going to be complicated for him now that she knows about the kiss and he’ll need someone to talk to even more. Also yeah Amy is afraid of losing him, espcially after teh divorce thing I think she doesn’t want to mess up any other relationship in her life? she doesn’t want to lose anyone so she’s not taking any risks which isn’t good right now because it means that if it was up to them they’d be stuck (so thank you dina!!) the kiss was because she was desesperate and she can be quite impulsive when she’s overwhelmed so that’s what happened and I want jonah to reassure her by making a move first like you said (which woudl also give him confidence) but for that his relationship with kelly needs to be delt with.

This long slow burn is so well written and I love that they built this great friendship with always a lingering romantic aspect to it but that was never too strong so that the wharacters could really grow into their feelings. And they’ve had their complications but I just want them to find peace together!! I love them

#You have no idea how happy I was to receive all your asks #which is why i wrote a novel of my own lol #superstore #amy and jonah #jonah simms #amy dubanowski #Anonymous #I've got mail

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jordan202 · 7 years

Text

My Boys: Beneath the Surface - Chapter 8

Thank you @jia911 for proofreding this for me!

@onlyfreakincaterina your 84 year old wait has come to an end! Here it goes

Previous chapters are HERE.

My Boys: Beneath the Surface – Chapter 8

“Amelia, if not Lucas, then what firstborn? What baby are you talking about?”

As Kathleen’s grey eyes intensely stared at her, Amelia felt trapped and unexpectedly attacked.

“Kate, perhaps it’s better if…”

“Addie, don’t!” Kathleen looked from her sister to her brother’s ex wife who had tried stepping in. “I know you mean well, but this is not about you. I’m talking to my sister.” Kate then looked back at the youngest Shepherd. “Amy? What’s going on?”

By the time Kathleen asked that question, Amelia had already gotten up and nervously clutched to the handbag she was holding.

“I was talking about Lucas, Kate. You misunderstood,” The neurosurgeon improvised, feeling her stomach churning.

“You mentioned a grave site,” Kathleen cornered her, looking concerned and irritated. “I heard it, Amelia. What’s going on? What haven’t you told me?”

Amelia thought very hard about an excuse to get her out of that situation but all the hurt and anxiety was completely clouding her creativity.

“I don’t owe you any explanations,” She irritably said, shifting her small purse in her hand before taking a step back. “Addie, can you please keep an eye on the kids? I’m going to the bathroom.”

Kathleen was left speechless, with a baffled expression on her face as Amelia quickly walked away to the direction of the house. From a distance, Owen noticed the alarmed expression on his wife’s face as she took large strides opposite to him, but got distracted when Robbie pulled his hand asking for help to get the football the kids were playing with that got stuck up on a high bush none of the boys could reach.

Amelia locked herself in the first bathroom she could find, nervously letting out a breath only when she noticed she was alone. Trying to control the panic that was starting to assault her, the neurosurgeon looked at her own image in the mirror and forced herself to breathe in and out, focused on using reason instead of allowing her emotions to engulf her thoughts.

The situation was exactly what it looked like: Even though it’d been more than a decade since Amelia had left Los Angeles, never had she told her mother and sisters about the traumatizing experiences she’d lived there. During her entire adolescence and early years, Amelia had been repeatedly condemned for her drug addiction and how much of her life she’d jeopardized because of it. Her family had always expressed their worry, at the same time they’d made Amelia feel like she was the weak one for resorting to drugs in the first place.

Amelia thought back of a time when she’d been seventeen years old and Nancy had caught her stash of pills inside one the handbags Amelia had borrowed from her sister without the intention to return it. Nancy had been already irate enough about Amelia taking her things without permission, but she’d flipped when she found the drugs. Amelia could still remember her sisters’ words, implying she was a lazy and ungrateful child, who returned everything her family had ever done for her with impulsive and careless actions. Nancy had gone further to say that Amelia was weak because while everyone had pulled themselves together after their father had died, Amelia was the only one who hadn’t.

At the time, Amelia had responded to the accusation with more rebellion and a bad attitude, disappearing from home for a couple of days, until everyone was so worried about her that the pill incident had been mostly forgotten. But now, as a clean, sober adult, she could fully feel the stinging weight of her sister’s words as hurtful as a stab in the heart.

Her family had always made her feel like she wasn’t good enough and in spite of that, Amelia had exceeded everyone’s expectations. Including her own, she sadly admitted. Now, she had an amazing life filled with love and support and Amelia wouldn’t let the years and years of bashing from her sisters become bigger than everything she already had.

While in Los Angeles, for a period she’d gone back to using drugs and drinking alcohol, to then make some bad choices and ultimately suffer the hardest blow of all when she’d accidentally got pregnant only to lose her partner and child within months. Once again against all odds, Amelia had rebuilt herself and she was proud of how far she’d come. Even though she hadn’t told her family about any of that, because she didn’t want to go through any of their scrutiny and judgment, deep down Amelia knew she had nothing to be ashamed about. That was her life, she couldn’t change her past and she definitely wouldn’t let it compromise her future any more.

Telling herself that she didn’t owe her mother and sisters any explanations, Amelia felt an unmistakable fit of anger start to consume her. Who the hell did they think they were? Her family was quick to judge, but truth was, they had no idea about anything: what she’d been through, the lengths of her suffering, how she’d faced most of the pain all by herself and how tough she was to still be proudly standing when that entire nightmare had been over. The Shepherds weren’t entitled to a damn thing and it was with that thought in mind that Amelia finally left the bathroom, fuming with anger and indisposition.

She was ready to summon Owen and gather the kids to go home and once for all, leave all of that behind when, unsurprisingly, she found Kathleen standing outside the door. And her sister wasn’t alone.

Their mother and Liz stood next to her and by the looks on their faces, Amelia knew Kate had probably said something. The three women stared at her with a look of consternation and worry that was far too familiar, and Amelia couldn’t take it. She could feel her irritation going to extremes when her mother’s voice interrupted her thoughts.

“Amelia, is it true what Kate is saying?” Carolyn Shepherd took a step closer to her youngest child, her eyes glowing with what Amelia interpreted as pity. “She said you had a baby before Lucas? What… What does that mean?” The older woman chose her words carefully, trying her best to delicately approach the situation. Carolyn hoped with all her heart that somehow, that was all a big misunderstanding and that Amelia’s words, repeated later by Kathleen, referred to a baby she’d conceived and lost with her husband, and not something even more impacting than that.

Amelia stood still for long seconds, staring at her mother. She opened her mouth to say something, but quickly closed it again, suddenly feeling too irate to talk.

“It means that once again, she didn’t tell us!” Kathleen lost her patience, venting out. “How could you, Amelia?” Kathleen lost her composure as she paced forth, trying hard to understand her sister’s hesitation. “We are your family! You didn’t tell us you operate on your mother in law, and now this… I mean…” Kate looked up, trying not to be aggressive. “Do you hate us that much that you feel like you can’t even trust us for that? To share the worst moments of your life with us? We are your family, I am your sister!”

“Not everything is about you!” Amelia exploded, feeling the anger she was trying to contain come to surface with full force.

Kathleen was about to reply when they were interrupted by the door. Nancy walked in, a look of sheer confusion on her face as she noticed her sisters and mother gathered around, visibly worked up.

“What’s going on?” Nancy asked, confused by the scene. “The photographer wants to take pictures of our family together, but I noticed everyone was gone and I…”

“What’s going on is that Amelia once had and lost a child and failed to tell us!” Kathleen interrupted, looking from her older to her youngest sister, deeply hurt by the realization that the Shepherds meant nothing or very little to their youngest. “We had a nephew that we never knew about…!”

“What?” Nancy asked, visibly blown away by the information. “What do you mean, she…?”

“Amelia,” Liz took a step forward, making an effort to contain the animosity. She knew that while everyone was that worked up, nothing good could come out of it. “We are not judging… We just want to know what happened.”

“You’re not judging?” Amelia replied with bitter sarcasm, dangerously looking at each of the women in the room, hating them for having the power to make her feel unworthy. “That’s all you’ve been doing my whole life… Why wouldn’t you now?! But fine!” Amelia yelled, completely losing her mind. “Go ahead and judge… What do you want to know?” She took a step forward, ignoring the tears accumulating in her eyes. Her sisters’ attitude hurt so much that she was going to give them exactly what they wanted. “That I relapsed while I was in Los Angeles?” The neurosurgeon bitterly asked, seeing the look of surprise on her mother’s face. “That I operated on someone while I was drunk?” She looked from her mother to Nancy. “Is that what you’re going to laugh about to your friends next time you have them over for tea? When everyone is sharing tales about the screw ups in their family, will you tell them the sad story about the little sister who woke up with a dead, overdosed guy next to her?” Amelia swallowed her tears, rejoicing in the look of shock on their sisters’ faces.

She paced around the room, knowing she was torturing her sisters and mother, but Amelia didn’t feel the least bit sorry about it. If that’s how they wanted to do it, then they would have their way.

“Is that what you want to know, Kate?” Amelia fired, feeling the tears running down her eyes without control. “Do you want to hear about how I found myself pregnant with that guy’s baby and after finally accepting it, I found out he was anencephalic?” Amelia finally stopped walking around, ignoring the utter surprise on everyone’s face as she revealed the darkest secrets of her past. “Will it make you satisfied to hear that that’s the baby who died?” She lost her mind, taking out her anger and frustration for the years of hurt her sisters and mother had put her through. “Or perhaps, mom, you’d relate better to that,” The neurosurgeon fired, continuing with her shocking monologue. “After all, you were the one who lost a son too,” Amelia added, seeing how her mother’s face transformed into a mask of hurt and pain. “The only difference is you didn’t get to watch yours die like I did.” She threw both hands in the air, taking a breath before finally adding. “But that’s okay, right? I mean, I watched dad die too… The experience shouldn’t come as a shock.”

Amelia noticed the scandalized expression on each face of the four women around her and that boosted her anger.

“Don’t you all have anything to say now?” She asked with sarcasm, visibly disgusted by the scene. “I am sure I don’t need you all to remember this is the moment you tell me how wrong I am, how everything is always my fault, how…”

“Amelia, that’s enough!” Carolyn’s voice resonated in the room. Her expression was so anguished that it was visibly how tormented the woman was. “How could this… How could have this happened without you saying anything?” She took a step forward but Amelia got out of her reach. “Sweetheart, you could have called, we could have been there for you…He was my grandson, he was your sisters’ nephew… We are your family!”

“I didn’t need you there!” Amelia replied aggressively, trying to hide how defensive she really was feeling. Her mother and sisters had hurt her too much for her to ever let her guard down again. “I didn’t want you there.” She added, knowing how much the words would hurt her mother.

Carolyn’s face was pale and expressionless when her daughter’s words finally sunk in.

“Well, that’s very clear,” Nancy confessed, trying to contain the situation. “You never let us be part of your life in any moment, we shouldn’t be surprised that you hid this from us too,” She gave Amelia a censoring look before adding, moved by hurt and disappointment. “We would have liked to be there for you, Amelia, but you never let us. You always did everything behind our backs and if you just…” Nancy’s voice trailed off as she interrupted her thoughts.

“If I just what?” Amelia asked, eager to hear what came after that. “Tell me, Nancy. If I just what?!”

Nancy seemed to hesitate but the way she was pushed made her finally explode and let out what everyone else thought but didn’t have the guts to say.

“If you’d just stayed here and married William and did everything like you were supposed to, none of this would have happened!”

Amelia opened her mouth to reply but the words hit her so hard that for the first time that night, she found herself not knowing what to say. One quick look at each of her sisters’ and mother’s faces and she instantly knew they all agreed on that.

How typical, Amelia thought. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that instead of talking and assessing a bad situation, her family would simply opt for pretending it didn’t exist in the hopes it’d disappear. It was pretty much like covering a bullet hole with a band aid. Amelia was so distracted by her own thoughts that she didn’t see Owen standing at the door, his eyes wide with shock and disbelief at the words Amelia’s sister had just fired.

After spending long minutes helping out his kids rescue a football, Owen had scanned the yard and noticed his wife hadn’t returned outside after she’d rushed to the house. Something in her heavy expression had warned him she wasn’t okay and even though they had fought and were avoiding each other, his gut had told him that maybe he needed to step up and be bigger than the fight they’d had.

“Sure,” Owen heard his wife’s voice as she was obviously drowning in anger and sarcasm. “Life would have been a blessing if I’d married William, wouldn’t it?” She scoffed, clearly hurt. “It would have been like a beautiful TV commercial… We’d have amazing kids, our lives would have been a blessing pretty much like yours,” She looked at each of her sisters. “And I am sure it wouldn’t take long for me to become just like you,” Amelia added with mock sweetness. “I bet three years into the marriage, I would begin to hate him. I am sure you can relate to that, can’t you, Nance?” She attacked, seeing her sister’s face grow angry with horror. “Or maybe he would have cheated on me. Or left me to go on a cruise with his young secretary. Maybe then we’d finally have something in common, Kate?”

“Amelia, stop!” Liz’s voice interrupted her, seeing the chaos her sister was causing.

“You’ve ruined way too many moments for our family already,” Nancy barged into the conversation, looking at Amelia like she was a reckless, misbehaved child. “Mom is too good and decent to have to put up with this, you spoiled little brat... She didn’t deserve to see you die once, she didn’t deserve seeing you destroy yourself drinking and whoring and doing drugs your whole life and none of us sure as hell deserve to see you wreck everything now,” The oldest sister took a step forward, seeing everyone was on the verge of tears. “Remember how you got drunk at Liz’s wedding and bumped into the table crashing the cake on the floor?” Nancy brought up one of the many moments she had of Amelia ruining things. “Yeah, I am sure everyone here does… Remember how that’s only what people talked about for days, instead of how beautiful Liz looked or how great the ceremony was?” The obstetrician looked her sister’s deeply in the eyes and affirmed with conviction. “You are not doing that again, Amelia. Not to me, not to mom, not on my wedding. Not under my watch.” Nancy decided and then cruelly added, “Dad’s nickname for you surely suits you well… You really are a Hurricane, carelessly destroying everything you dare to touch!”

The mention of their father set Amelia off. Amelia opened her mouth to talk but her lower lip trembled uncontrollably. The youngest Shepherd had been a lively, full of energy child, but when her father nicknamed her, he’d done it affectionately and not with the connotation her sister had just implied.

“Nancy, enough too,” Liz tried to get to Amelia, hating to see their two sisters fighting like that. But the neurosurgeon dodged her touch while Kathleen proudly stood next to Nancy, clearly taking a side. “Guys, stop with the fighting and the hateful words, you’re making everything worse!”

“I really thought this would be a happy day,” Carolyn’s voice sounded louder than any other. By the look on her face, she was clearly disappointed. “Isn’t it bad enough that I lost your father, you brother… Now you’re making me have to watch you destroy each other like that?” From a distance, Owen watched as his mother in law took a step back with clear intention to leave. “This is not what I raised a family for… This is not what I taught you your whole lives! You won’t make me stay here to see you two bring each apart,” She looked from Amelia to Nancy. “I refuse.”

Carolyn exited the room through the back door, being followed by Nancy and Kate and finally, Amelia’s eyes met Owen’s. He was shocked by everything he’d just witnessed, for even though his wife had warned him, he’d never seen a family fighting that bad. At the sight of her sister’s husband in the room, Liz realized she’d have support and decided to go outside too, leaving the couple alone.

“Did you get the answers you were looking for?” Amelia asked with a sniff, sadly biting her lower lip to contain her cries. Owen noticed that even though she still sounded very hurt and somewhat startled and scared, the anger and the sarcasm had given room to tears and heartbreak. “Or do you still think that it’s hard to understand why I never want to see them?”

Owen took a closer look at her, seeing how broken and devastated his wife looked. He saw her sitting on a couch in the room they were in and took a seat on the coffee table right in front of her, bending forward and gently placing his hands on her knees. It was the first time since she’d gone inside that Amelia hadn’t pulled away when someone tried to touch her.

Owen studied her features closely, hating himself for having pushed her the way he had the previous day. It was clear now that Amelia’s relationship with her family was infinitely more complicated than he had initially imagined. Even though he’d always know they were estranged, never could he have been prepared for just how bad reality really was.

“Now you know who you married,” Amelia embarrassingly added, looking away from him.

“I’ve always known damn well who I married,” Owen said with conviction, gently holding her chin and forcing her to look at him again to make sure his wife knew he meant the words.

Amelia once again broke eye contact with her husband, unable to bear the weight of the situation. Her sister had exposed everything and Owen had probably been there to watch it all. Even though she’d spent the past day angry at him, right now all she could feel was shame and embarrassment. That man had built with her the best thing she had ever had her whole life and Amelia knew he loved her very much. She didn’t want Owen’s opinion of her to change because of what had happened in her past. The idea of her husband thinking ill of her because of the things she’d once done or said made her feel weak to her stomach.

“You have nothing to feel sorry about,” Owen tried to get to her and ease some of the pain that was clearly consuming his wife. “The things that have happened to you… None of them were your fault.”

Amelia knew he meant the death of her father, brother and her son. She agreed with him, but she also felt responsible for spending a lifetime trying to be good enough for her family and repeatedly failing. The neurosurgeon had made her peace with the idea that she never would redeem herself in the eyes of her family, but being faced with that so directly had really broken all her defenses.

“You should have escaped when you could, Owen,” Amelia bitterly said, returning to that familiar twisted circle of letting her family make her feel unworthy and undeserving of good things happening to her. She turned her head back to face her husband and her eyes were dangerously expressionless when she finalized. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come back on our wedding day, after all.”

Even though Owen knew Amelia was using those words to torture herself, the impact they had was too overwhelming. To hear Amelia voice out doubts about their marriage, despite knowing it had nothing to do with him but with herself made Owen feel hurt and attacked all the same.

“Stop,” He commanded with impatience, hating to see his wife being so vulnerable and so affected by the atrocities she’d said to her family and then heard back. Amelia couldn’t believe it, she was far too good for that. “You don’t mean this and you’ll stop before you say things you’ll regret,” Owen gave her a gentle but harder squeeze on the knees, forcing her to look into his eyes. “I know you’re hurt and I know this is what you to do in reaction, you fire back instead of hiding in a corner. I admire that. But right now, I’m asking of you to please not.”

“This is not what I do, Owen,” Amelia’s voice sounded sarcastic again when she defensively took out her frustration on him. “It’s who I am. If you don’t want to deal with this, then maybe I was right to begin with. You should have gone away when there was still time.” She angrily added, hating herself for blurting out things that she knew would hurt him but Amelia couldn’t help it. She was unconsciously testing him.

“You know what,” Owen got up, frustrated and disappointed. He knew Amelia was hurting and lashing out, but the likelihood of her saying something to set him off, making matters even worse was far too big for him to risk it. “I will walk away. When you feel like dealing with this like a grown up, you can come find me and let me support you like I’ve been trying to.”

At the sound of his words, Amelia watched her husband get up and head to the door. Owen took one last look at her, hoping Amelia would ask him to stay but she simply looked away, ignoring everything else around them. He knew she was desperately hurting but that wasn’t an excuse for her to say things like marrying him had been a mistake. That had been especially hard to hear, especially having witnessed Amelia’s family say she should have married William Hartley instead. And after seconds of hesitation at the door, Owen finally walked out.

Amelia lost track of time as she stayed silently sitting on the couch inside the empty room. She knew that somewhere outside her kids were playing and that at some point, she would have to go out and face everyone as she gathered them to go home. But she didn’t feel ready just yet.

”Hey…” Amelia looked up at the sound of the word to see William sliding into the room through the semi open door. “I just heard from Nance that you were in here. From the look on her face I figured there has been a fight?” The neurologist correctly guessed, taking a seat next to Amelia while placing an empty whisky glass on the coffee table.

“No surprises,” Amelia replied hoping to sound indifferent.

“The only surprise is it took this long,” William offered her a friendly smile and when Amelia saw the mischievous expression on his face, she realized he meant well, for the first time letting out a contained sad laugh. “So what was it this time? Did they accuse you of talking too much? Or not enough?” William immediately got it right, far too familiar with the relationship between the woman he’d once dreamed of marrying and her sisters. “Or maybe they complained about some of your life choices and tried to change your mind?”

Amelia noticed by William’s slurred speech and easy smiles that he was drunk. She didn’t mind it, finding some comfort in the company of one of the few people who could actually understand the complicated relationship she had with her family. Will had been there from the start and while growing up, it wasn’t uncommon that Amelia would run to his house after having a fight with one of her sisters, finding comfort in how he always did everything he could to cheer her up.

“All of it,” Amelia vaguely replied, not really too excited to talk about the subject at the moment. She didn’t need to dissect what had happened. William understood and that was already enough at the moment. “I never got to properly say this, but… Thanks, Will. I mean it,” Amelia look into his eyes, thinking back at how much she missed a brotherly figure in her life. “You were always there for me when I needed it and you always understood.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” William replied, mesmerized by her eyes. She was obviously in a lot of pain and he felt his heart constricting for not being able to ease it. “You know how I’ve always felt about you, Amelia,” He blurted out the words, unsure of what exactly he was doing. “I mean, a while after you left I convinced myself I didn’t have any more feelings for you but,” He touched her face, making Amelia’s eyes wide with alarm. “Just one look at you crying like this and I can feel my heart breaking all over again,” She could feel the whisky on his breath and wondered exactly how much William could possibly have had in one afternoon. He had never been much of a drinker and she knew it.

“You’ve always been a loyal friend,” Amelia clarified, hoping to set some boundaries. He was getting dangerously close to her face and she was suddenly uncomfortable with the proximity.

“I have always wished to be more than that,” William went on saying, his drunken state of mind unable to filter any of his thoughts. “And for a while you agreed to it and I was so happy,” He smiled like a love struck teenage boy. “You know, Amy, I could have made you happy…”

“Will,” Amelia interrupted him, trying to move away when he splayed a hand on her shoulder.

“If I’d married you, I would have devoted every single one of my days to making you happy…” He blabbered, looking into her eyes “And don’t get me wrong, I know I shouldn’t be saying this, I know you’re married and that you seem happy with it but I…” He hesitated, looking from her eyes to her lips. “I also know that I am still crazy about you.”

Owen swiftly jumped up the back stairs, slowly making his way back to the room he’d left his wife in. After going outside to clear his head and taking some deep breaths, he’d come to feel awful about leaving her alone inside. Owen knew Amelia had been put through a lot and even though he’d witnessed some of it, he had no idea what else could have been said to his wife before he even entered that room.

Amelia was understandably heartbroken and if what she needed was to angrily lash out to feel better, Owen would silently stay by her side and let her get rid of her pain whichever way she needed to. A few minutes outside thinking back at the sad, broken look on her face when he’d found her were enough to make Owen change his mind completely. He knew Amelia was wrong to deflect her pain and take it out on him, but they could deal with that later. Owen could overlook his own hurt while they focused on hers, because at that moment, Amelia was the one who needed comprehension the most. And truth was, he couldn’t bear seeing her so hurt. It absolutely destroyed him.

Owen was still thinking about that when he opened the door to the room in which he’d left Amelia, eager to suggest they went home and put all the fighting behind them. He would find a way to comfort her and if necessary, he would hold her until she was able to stop crying. Then they would calmly talk about everything that had happened and eventually, Amelia would heal those deep wounds as she finally allowed herself to talk about her past.

But never in his wildest dreams would Owen be prepared to find out someone else was holding his wife instead of him, at the exact moment William Hartley’s lips covered Amelia’s in an intense, eager kiss.

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