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fangirleaconmigo · 1 year

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It's been awhile, Geralt x Jaskier enthusiasts, but here is your newest installment of...

Otherwise known as...

Things that sound like Geraskier fic writers made them up, but that are, in fact, book canon.

This time with commentary on the original Polish wording from @cherrypoison1889! Thanks, Cherry!

Today we're talking about dopplers, otherwise known as shape shifters, also called vexlings in the world of The Witcher. Dopplers are often used to expose the fact that Dandelion is a vulnerability for Geralt, that he loves him.

There are quite a few Geraskier fics that play with this trope. (I will give you a rec or two at the end of the post.)

It makes sense! Plus, the show used a doppler, (more on that later) so the concept is right there!

But does the concept of using a doppler to reveal Geralt's true feelings for Jaskier just exist in the fevered imagination of Geraskier fic writers?? Is this pure fanon? Or canon?

Well, you may have guessed (since I didn't write all this out for my health!)...

It is canon.

In The Witcher book, Sword of Destiny, we meet a doppler called Dudu, who turns into Dandelion (Jaskier) to protect himself from Geralt. He even has a few choice words to say about what he sees in Geralt's thoughts.

Want the details? Of course you do, you've read this far, why not?

When Geralt meets Dudu in this story, the doppler is in the form of a halfling called Dainty Biberveldt. Dudu has bonked Dainty on the head, stolen his shit, taken his form, and is running around Novigrad making business deals with his ill gotten gains.

Dainty wants his shit back from the doppler, but does not want to turn Dudu over to the city guards because Dainty is a decent person who knows that they will murder the doppler in an absolutely horrific way that I will not describe to you. Novigrad is rife with violent bigotry towards non humans, and dopplers in particular have been slaughtered to near extinction. They've been subject to genocide, basically, just because they creep people out. (I could write a thesis just on the way this short story handles themes of racism)

But anywho. That's how we get Geralt's involvement. Geralt is pitching in to get Dudu under control so they don't have to involve bigoted law enforcement. (We stan Dainty ACAB Biberveldt in this house)

This particular scene opens when Geralt has pursued the doppler into a crowded marketplace and has finally cornered him in a tent. Dandelion is elsewhere in the market, being a slut, so he is nowhere to be seen. When Geralt corners Dudu, they are alone, and the doppler panics. He can't get away. So, he decides to be crafty.

First, he turns into Geralt as a way to protect himself. The book describes Dudu changing into Geralt, down to the last detail. Now there are two identical witchers in the tent. Then Dudu speaks.

"Don't come any closer," the second witcher said huskily and smiled. "Don't come any nearer, Geralt. I won't let you lay your hands on me."

So now he looks just like Geralt and has his husky voice. Perhaps he is hoping Geralt will not be able to harm someone who looks like himself. Perhaps he just wants to be equal to him physically.

Either way, Geralt's self esteem is too low for the first one to work. Here is how Geralt responds to an exact copy of himself.

"What a hideous smile I have," thought Geralt, reaching for his sword. "What a hideous face I have. And how hideously I squint? So is that what I look like? Damn."

So, Geralt reaches for his sword immediately, and the only reaction he has for himself is disgust.

Here is where I asked Cherry for her thoughts. Is Geralt as mean to himself in the original Polish? Hideous is pretty strong a word! Here is what she said:

Cherrypoison1889: Geralt is indeed very harsh on himself, when he sees the doppler transform into him. In Polish, he uses the word "paskudne" to describe himself, which is literally hideous. However, he also calls his face "gęba" which is a more vulgar word for face, which in Polish is "Twarz". So he's even harsher on himself, I'd say.

Oh noooo. But just when you think Geralt's low self esteem is going to be a strategic advantage, it betrays him. Why? Because when Dudu says, you can't defeat me, because I am you and I know everything you know...

"I am you," the doppler repeated. "you will not gain an advantage over me. You cannot defeat me, because I am you!"

That is where Geralt starts to lose ground. Why? Because Geralt of Rivia says, no, you can't really copy me! Because you are a good person, and I'm a bad bad bad man. I kill people. I'm a killer. You cannot relate. You cannot even begin to understand the mind of a bad evil killer man like me.

"No," the witcher countered, "you are not. And do you know why? Because you're a poor, little, good-natured doppler. A doppler who, after all, could have killed Biberveldt and buried his body in the undergrowth, by so doing gaining total safety and utter certainty that he would not be unmasked, ever, by anybody....But you didn't kill him...Because you're a poor, little, good-natured doppler, whose close friends call him Dudu...you only know how to copy what is good in us, because you don't understand the bad in us."

Geralt isn't saying this to be strategic. He truly believes it! He knows Dudu has seen his thoughts! Listen to what he says next...

"you aren't capable of defying me, because I am what you are unable of copying (sic). You are absolutely aware of this, Dudu. Because you took over my thoughts for a moment."

So, Geralt is like, you saw what a mess it was in there. You know what a killer I am. You may as well give up now.

I thought 'took over my thoughts' was a little bit of an awkward phrasing, it almost implies thought control, when I feel like the context is thought reading, so I asked Cherry about that. She said:

Cherrypoison1889: As for the "taking thoughts over" bit, it is the same in Polish, I am afraid. the word Sapko uses is "przejąć" which means exactly that, although I assume that the "take over" in English was meant to be understood as "acquiring" although I can't be sure of that. It sure does sound a touch awkward.

But back to the story, Tellico (Dudu) has now been inside Geralt's head. So he knows that's absolute bullshit, even if Geralt doesn't. He has seen what is in Geralt's heart, which prompts him to take another shape.

Tellico straightened up abruptly. His face's features, still those of the Witcher, blurred and spread out, and his white hair curled and began to darken.

"You're right, Geralt," he said indistinctly, because his lips had begun to change shape. "I took over your thoughts. Only briefly, but it was sufficient. Do you know what I'm going to do now?"

Do you? Do you dear reader, know what he's going to do now? I'm going to let you make a guess.

The leather witcher jacket took on a glossy, cornflower blue colour. The doppler smiled, straightened his plum bonnet with its egret's feather, and tightened the strap of the lute slung over his shoulder, the lute which had been a sword a moment ago.

Well, if you've read the books up to this point, we all know who's form he has taken. Cornflower blue, egret's feather, lute....smart doppler.

"I'll tell you what I"m going to do, Witcher," he said, with the rippling laughter characteristic of Dandelion. "I'll go on my way, squeeze my way into the crowd and change quietly into any old body, even a beggar. Because I prefer being a beggar in Novigrad to being a doppler in the wilds."

He then has a powerful monologue about being subject to extermination and genocide. About hunger and fear and freezing to death. He makes a very touching plea to Geralt, asking the Witcher why he is denied the right of survival, granted to everyone else, just because he is a doppler. It is about a page and half long and I HIGHLY recommend people read Sword of Destiny, because this is good shit. He says he will stay in Novigrad.

"As a resident of Novigrad, I'll trade, weave wicker baskets, beg or steal; as one of you I'll do what one of you usually does...."

The Witcher said nothing.

Now, Dudu, in Dandelion's shape, having seen Geralt's thoughts, takes his gamble. And boy does he have guts. He tells Geralt about himself, about his supposed bad bad heart.

"Yes, as I said," Tellico continued calmly. "I'm going. And you, Geralt, will not even try to stop me. Because I, Geralt, knew your thoughts for a moment. Including the ones you don't want to admit to, the ones you even hide from yourself. Because to stop me you'd have to kill me. And the thought of killing me in cold blood fills you with disgust doesn't it?

The Witcher said nothing.

Tellico adjusted the strap of his lute again, turned away and walked towards the exit. He walked confidently, but Geralt saw him hunch his neck and shoulders in expectation of the whistle of a sword blade. He put his sword in his scabbard. The doppler stopped in mid-step and looked around.

"Farewell", Geralt, he said. "Thank you."

"Farewell, Dudu," the Witcher replied. "Good luck."

Dudu wins that one, quite handily.

The doppler turned away and headed towards the crowded bazaar, with Dandelion's sprightly, cheerful, swinging gait. Like Dandelion, he swung his left arm vigorously, and just like Dandelion he grinned at the wenches as he passed them.

As he walks away, Dudu even plays the lute and sings "exactly like Dandelion". Then he shouts back advice for Geralt to pass on to the bard.

"Pass that on to Dandelion, if you remember," he called. "And tell him that Winter is a lousy title. The ballad should be called The Eternal Fire. Farewell, Witcher."

Dudu has seen Geralt's thoughts EVEN THE ONES HE WILL NOT ADMIT TO EVEN THE ONES HE HIDES FROM HIMSELF, and his next choice was to turn into Dandelion.

Now, do I think that the author meant to imply that Geralt is trying to hide his love of Dandelion? No. Slim chance of that. However, it isn't like it's a secret that Geralt hates killing creatures who do no harm or who cannot fight back. So there is still something a bit fuzzy to me about the thoughts that Geralt hides from himself.

It is ripe territory for a Geralt x Dandelion enjoyer to exploit, cultivate, and use for their fics and headcanons.

I asked Cherry for her thoughts about this, about what Geralt's hidden thoughts are having read the original Polish, and she said this:

Cherrypoison1889:

I feel like Dudu used Geralt's self-loathing against him, in a way. As in, if Geralt were to kill Dudu-as-Dandy, he would admit to himself that he is a ruthless, horrible person, who kills "intelligent" beings, despite what he claims, which would also make him a hypocrite. And we know Geralt is a big softie, so he wouldn't do it anyway. I think changing into Dandy was an additional precaution, just an extra measure in case Dudu turned out to be wrong.

I really liked this story, I don't remember reading it back when I read the books (it was ages ago, so I might be wrong anyway). It's really funny, and Geralt is babbie. Darling boy, he just bought himself a new jacket and it got ruined in the frenzy...

Babbie Geralt, that's our darling.

It is sad that Geralt has so much self loathing that it didn't help Dudu to look like him, but it is very sweet that Dandelion is such a point of vulnerability for Geralt, and that Dudu had his number.

Dudu wins this round soundly. The story isn't over. I won't spoil it in case you guys want to read it. But it has a great ending. It is definitely one of my favorites.

I will just never get over how easily he gets the upper hand on Geralt here. Geralt of Rivia, legendary monster hunter, defeated by little Dudu because of his low self worth, his mushy heart, his solidarity with non humans, and his love of a slutty bard.

Now, recommendations.

The Doppler Effect, by @a-kind-of-merry-war This is the first doppler fic I read in the fandom and it has alll the delicious emotional drama, pining, and sexiness that you want from a fic like this. It is excellent.

Images of You, by @pherryt This one is a delightful 'continuation' of what happens in Sword of Destiny. After Dudu learns about Geralt's feelings, he essentially matchmakes Geralt and Dandelion eventually receiving a sexy thank-you of his own.

Them, by @gilligangoodfellow I feel like dopplers and Dudu in particular is so ripe for exploration in fic. So it is wonderful to see a fic like this. It's a short character study of Dudu as gender fluid, with the doppler coming out to Zoltan. Seriously, try it.

Alright, thanks for reading, folks!

For more Geralt and Dandelion "I can't believe it's not fanon..."stay tuned. I am organizing a master post with all of the posts I've done. So keep your eyes out. (in the mean time, most of them seem to show up in the tag, just not all of them)

And lastly, THANK YOU CHERRY! I love having a partner to do these posts with!!

#the witcher #geralt of rivia #jaskier #dandelion #geraskier #gerlion #the witcher books #i can't believe it's not fanon #canon or fanon

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countingstars-17 · 9 months

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Dudu Barrichello (Rubens Barrichello's son), talks about his experience in a simulator session with Max and how he didn't believe that Max really took time to help him with the setup:

I was 17, it was my first year in Formula. I was driving in the simulator like any other day, and Max Verstappen came into the room I was in and I said oh my god! I was first in the room and he gave me a tenth and a half. 😅

A little while ago I raced in the US, along with a Formula 1 weekend. Max wrote to me in the chat section and he said "Do you need a setup?" I replied "Yes I do".

But I thought, it's not Max Verstappen, why would he write to me? I didn't believe it. And he sent me the setup and we turned out very similar and we spent the day kind of battling and it was super cool.

And then at the end of the day I said "if it's really you, send me a message on instagram". Not even two minutes later I got a message from Max Verstappen on instagram!

#max is so sweet 🥲#((feel free to correct me... i used a translator))#max verstappen #dudu barrichello #f1 #formula 1

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transgender-battlekukku · 6 months

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*runs to ask box* DUDE DUDUE IVE BEEN JGE SNENEJENDEKNE

I was talking to my friend and omg not only do we potentially have two Martian mickeys on our hands but Mickey may not consider.. Rocket mouse “real”

Him and that other marshy are from “stories”

MICKEY THEY ARE REAL YOUR HOUSE IS JIST ABLE TO ACCESS THE MULTIVERSE SOMEHOW?

As a marshy and rocket shipper I was going rabid

Have you considered that Mickey is a bigass toxic positivity and fantasy guy and may have just. forgor

#/lh #/pos

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luluisgreendraws · 2 months

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Idk if it's weird but I'm making an alternative universe that takes place in Paris during the 30s.

And me and my friend Anthon put our favorite characters and OURSELVES in this universe. It's called Ponpon and Dudu !

We are basically living together in a small appartment but when the crime appears we become Ponpon and Dudu, two detectives with moustaches- because we need to hide our identities.

And you're going to say "but lulu what's the point? Why are you talking about this ?"

Imagine having Faba , Lysandre , Astarion , Lord ever Gortash , Kizaru , Marco the phoenix , Mirio etc.. in the same universe ?

Litterally Mirio and Faba are roomates, Colress is in an evil group called "Le syndicat d'obscurité".

I just added some forced marriage because I,'m currently watching Whole Cake Island.. Katakuri is now here..

I'd like to share this with you if you're interested 🥺 here's some drawings I did for the occasion , we've been developping this since 2020!

#branch chief faba #pokemon #lysandre pokemon #one piece #AU

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applejuicefruit · 1 year

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dusan request? either taking him to the airport before international break or going to his game and seeing him again?

decided to make this with reader taking him at the airport but i made it a little bit sad

dusan vlahovic x reader

Don’t leave

The tension in the car was pretty evident. No one would dare to speak or make a joke. Your mother in the backseat alongside with your best friend while you were all driving Dusan to the airport. He was sat on the passenger seat next to you while you were driving. Your look never leaving the road, not even when Dusan tried to talk to you or approach you.

You weren’t mad, not at all. You were just a very nostalgic person and you couldn’t handle very well your emotions, so everything came crushing down when Dusan told you he had a week off from Torino because he had to go back to Serbia for international break and you couldn’t go with him.

You didn’t handle it good at first but he tried to reassure you he would be back in just a week.

So now you were driving him because you wanted to be the last person to wave him goodbye before he departed, your mom and best friend were only your emotional support, in case you needed one, or two.

“And…we’re here” your best friend said while you parked. She definitely didn’t miss the death glare you gave her from the mirror.

“Why don’t you go first honey?” your mom suggested, knowing you needed this time with Dusan.

“Sure…” you whispered, already trying to not break in front of everyone.

You and Dusan went straight into the airport, some of his teammates were already there, others were a little bit late but it didn’t matter when you have a plane just for yourself right?

“Baby can you look at me?” Dusan gently grabbed your wrist, trying to stop you from going into useless shops.

Your eyes never met his look, otherwise you would be a crying mess.

“You know I’ll be gone for just a week right? I’ll be back home as soon as possible” he tried to reassure you. He knew you were sensitive over this topic, the feeling of being alone without him made you shiver. Dusan knew how nostalgic you were and he didn’t want to see you cry for him.

“I know but I’ll miss you…” you said, your voice cracking a bit while a few tears fell from your eyes but Dusan was quick to wipe them away.

“Don’t cry baby…” he hugged you so tight you cried into his shoulder. He hated seeing you cry.

“I can’t help it, I’m gonna miss you so much Dusan” you whispered and his heart broke a little.

“I promise you, this week gonna pass so fast you won’t even notice I’ll be gone, I promise you my love…don’t cry okay? I don’t want to see you cry baby…” he said lifting your chin up and gently kissing your lips.

You melted into the kiss, while his hands were on your waist, keeping you close.

“Don’t leave…” you whispered and he smiled a bit at your cuteness.

“I’m not going on Mars baby…next week I’ll be back in Torino, I promise you…” he said kissing your forehead.

“Okay” you sniffled.

“I really have to go now baby…” he said, his heart feeling heavy as he watched your sad look.

“I know, I’m gonna miss you a lot Dudu” you called him by nickname.

“I’m gonna miss you too principessa…I love you” he said while kissing you again.

“Ti amo…” you whispered in italian and he softly smiled at you.

He waved you goodbye while he was going back to his teammates.

You sat there, at the airport, watching his plane leaving, watching Dusan leaving, knowing he’ll be safe back in Serbia and he’ll be having a lot of fun with his teammates, knowing that he’ll call you once he lands and that he’ll call you every day after practice.

You just loved him so much and the thought of him leaving you for even just a few days made you sad.

#dusan vlahovic imagines #dusan vlahovic x you #dusan vlahovic smut #dusan vlahovic angst #dusan vlahovic imagine #dusan vlahovic #dušan vlahović #dusan vlahovic one shot #dusan vlahovic x reader #football imagine #football fan #football one shot #football headcanon #football blurb #football drabble #football x reader #footballers x reader #juventus

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space-mermaid-writing · 1 year

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The witchling and the god [Loki x Witch!Reader] Chapter 30

Summary: The Avengers were looking for someone to help Loki fit in with the team. To become socially acceptable, so to speak. He had been given the choice of sitting in a cell in Asgard or serving some sort of community service probation on Midgard. The Avengers and Shield both felt that as long as Loki was on Earth, he should be under supervision. This is now your job. Why? Because you’re a witch. You’re not sure why this qualifies you, but here you are, giving it a shot. What could possibly go wrong?

Tags: Witch!Reader, Magic, Witches, slow burn, everybody lives in the tower, character development, Loki‘s redemption, Stephen Strange is a friend, Loki and Stephen are frenemies, Tony Stark is a good bro, kids love Loki, Tony has stupid nicknames for everybody, eventual smut

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Read it on AO3 | Previous | Next

Chapter’s Note: It’s the final showdown! Dudu du dududu du *kazoo solo* | I produced fan art |Beta by @zaria-04

Chapter 30: Someone on my mind

You are standing in a part of the Sanctum that is unknown to you. Magic has led you here, you were drawn to it. No, not you were. You're just sitting in the backseat of a car with no choice of where to go or what music to listen to. All you can do is to look out of the window and be terrified. Because the car is your body and you lost all control over it. Someone else is sitting in the driver seat.

You hear Stephen's voice as he steps through a portal to you. On the one hand you are relieved, the Sorcerer Supreme can help you, right? On the other hand, you want to scream, to warn him so he doesn't mistake you for yourself.

"Who am I talking to?" he asks you, taking a step closer.

"A witch." A smirk appears on your lips.

"Try again."

"Nah." With a flick of your hand, in which you hold the gemstone of the sword, you shoot a raw blast of energy at him. If only Stephen had shown up sooner, he might have been able to stop you from taking the gem.

In the fight that breaks out now, you can only watch. You try to fight back, to take the wheel again, but you didn't even notice that someone put you in the backseat and buckled your seat belt – not until it was way too late.

Stephen summons one of his spells in the form of a golden mandala and sends it out to you. But you counter it without any problems and dodge it.

It's a weird feeling to wield magic, that is not your own. Your fingers move in unfamiliar ways and you mutter spells you never heard. The gem in your hand amplifies your own magical power and multiplies each of your spells, so you have no trouble keeping up with the Sorcerer Supreme.

"Where is Wong?" Stephen growls questioningly, for the Sanctum is never without supervision. Either he's here himself, or, when summoned, Wong fills in for him.

Your mind is searched for a memory, and a brief encounter between you and Wong flickers in your mind's eye, dating back some time.

"Ah, your friend," your voice says. "Well, let's just say he's sleeping. Funny guy."

You know he's one floor down, lying unconscious in the hallway. You couldn't help it. You'll apologize to him for that later. If there is a later for you.

Stephen is furious. "I've got no time to deal with you right now."

That's right, you remember him saying something about a demon in New York before he left you unsupervised in one of the most important, magical buildings in this world. Man, he really trusted you. You guess that's over now.

You laugh. No, Daegal laughs and he twists your lips into a smug grin. "I don't want to keep you from your business. Go. I promise I'll wait."

That’s a lie. You stand near the door to leave at the earliest opportunity. Daegal has what he came for.

The next attack hits you right in the chest and you double over in pain. Just because you have no control over your body doesn't mean you're immune to pain. You see everything, hear everything, feel everything. And that right there was a nasty spell.

Blindly you reach for the door handle behind you, but the door is already open. Suddenly, something is wrapped around your throat and tightens its grip. The next moment you feel incredibly weak, as if something sucks any energy from you. You turn around and stand face to face with someone else.

You feel as if someone has opened the window next to you. "Loki," you whisper, and it's your own word you hear this time. Your gaze travels down you and you see that the Asgardian has put a necklace on you. It looks like an amulet, large and golden. An intricately crafted piece that once belonged to a princess.

"The others need you." Loki's eyes meet Stephens'. "Go. I will take care of this."

The sorcerer looks at him appraisingly, but the Asgardian is right. Time is short. Stephen opens a portal and jumps through.

Daegal had time to gather your strength. It feels like your powers are slipping through your fingers, like something is absorbing them from you. But Daegal still has enough to fight. The window is closed again and you roar against soundproof glass.

Your throat feels tight, like something is pressing uncomfortably against it. The necklace doesn't constrict you, but you feel the magic emanating from it. Or rather, flowing into it.

"Help me," Daegal whines, sounding afraid. He takes a step forward and wraps his arms around Loki. "Please. It's in my head."

It's a convincing performance. You probably would have acted exactly the same way, used the same words. And for a brief moment, you fear Loki will fall for it.

But Loki is the god of lies. And even if the words are technically true, Daegal doesn't mean them. It's a fine line, one that Loki walked for centuries. His hands light up green with magic and rest against your temples.

The car skids, and for a moment it feels as if Loki is sitting next to you in the back seat. He sees you and he sees Daegal. Then he's gone again, because Daegal has rammed the gem in Loki’s stomach. It's not devastating, because the necklace drains you of as much magical power as the gem gives you. But it's enough to make Loki stumble back a few steps into the hallway.

He glares at you grimly. "You're that wicked witch from the west coast."

"Don't stand in my way. I just take back what's mine," Daegal growls, glaring grimly at Loki. He starts losing control over you, clinging desperately to the wheel of the lurching car.

"You broke into my refugium, took my stuff and then you fucking obliviate me! It took me a while but we have security cameras, you know. It wasn't hard to find you, you have been all over the news. And your little witch girl was an easy target. You shouldn't have made her cry with your harsh words. She was so busy with her own worries that she didn't even notice me in her head."

He reaches for the necklace around your neck and tries to pull it off, but it doesn't work. Instead, you feel the familiar tightness around your neck that always appears just before panic sets in. You are prepared for it, you know your weak point. Daegal doesn't, the feeling makes him uncomfortable and he doesn't seem to know if it's coming from you or Loki.

The Asgardian walks right into your space and Daegal backs away.

"We should have killed you when we had the chance," Loki spats. "But she wanted to spare your life."

"What a noble action of a burglar. I'm so fucking thankful!" Daegal words drip with sarcasm as he prepares his next spell. However, due to the necklace and the part of the artifact that is incorporated into it, it is only a faint imitation of what he had wanted to do.

Angrily, he stares at your hands.

"Knock me out," you shout to Loki, your voice no more than a whisper. "He can't do anything if he can't breathe." You move a hand Daegal is looking at toward your neck.

Punches to the back of the head always look handy in movies, but they can damage the brain. And they kinda hurt – though you're desperate enough to take that, too. But if Loki cuts off your air, your body would go limp and the witch would have no control over it.

Loki understands what you're trying to tell him and shakes his head vehemently. "Absolutely not." Under no circumstances would he do that. There are other methods. But he wouldn't risk triggering you by cutting off your air. He notices you trying to fight your uninvited guest.

"The gem is mine!" Daegal spits furiously. He needs to leave before things get out of hand.

"You've gone mad, witch." Loki creates an illusion in his place and steps behind you. His hands glow green with magic.

"Oh, you think you're clever, don't you?" Daegal snickers. "But I know your secret, god of lies. When you told her, you told me and I-…" He falls silent as Loki puts his hands to your head. It's not difficult for him to enter your mind. You're his Witchling, you are familiar to him. You're home. Daegal has neglected the wards in your head after he broke them down and that makes it easy to bypass them.

You hear steps on the roof of the car. Loki's head appears upside down at the driver's window and looking inside. Daegal gasps and for the first time something like panic sneaks on his face. Loki yanks open the door and grabs the witch to pull him out.

Daegal stubbornly holds on to the wheel and the car starts to lurch. You feel dizzy, motion sick, but you also feel yourself getting more control. You move your leg and kick Daegal out of the car. Now driverless, the car trundles along and slowly comes to a stop.

You climb to the front. Daegal and Loki are no longer visible through the rear-view mirrors, as if they had suddenly vanished into thin air. You close the door and lock it, for good measure. Then you try to start the car, but immediately stall.

"Come on," you curse softly. "Please, don't let me hanging."

You try again, and again.

On the fourth try, it starts - still a little bumpy, but you're back on track. Alone.

You open your eyes. You're still dizzy and feel like you've suffered whiplash. For some reason, you're sitting on the floor, Loki’s arm around you. He looks at you with concern. At some point in the last few minutes, you must have fainted briefly.

When he notices that you're awake, he breathes a sigh of relief. "Are you alright, love?" he asks gently. Gone is his previous aggressiveness.

"I will be." He helps you stand up and you move slowly as a wave of nausea washes over you. It may also be due to the necklace still scratching your throat, draining magic from you. "Just give me a minute," you mumble. And, "Thank you." You have a headache, but you finally feel alone in your mind again. You notice how long you haven't been.

"I’m afraid, we don't have that time." Loki presses a quick kiss to your temple, then turns to the shelf. "Blackheart, the prince of hell, is in the city, and as long as he has been mesmerizing people and absorbing their strength, I doubt Stephen is able to send him back to hell without help."

You try to process the flood of information. Your brain still seems to be running a little slow. Whether it's from your magic being absorbed or you need to get used to using the full capacity of your brain all by yourself again, is hard to say.

"Oh," is all you manage to say, because you have no idea what to do about a demon prince. At least Loki seems to have a plan, because he picks up one of the three boxes in which the parts of Bloodweeper are stored and opens it with a spell. The hilt disappears into his pocket dimension.

Then he turns back to you. "I need the necklace, Witchling."

You take a step back, because you realize what Loki is up to. And that worries you. He notices your uncertainty and takes your hands in his. "He is no longer in your head. I promise. You are safe to remove the necklace. I won't let him take you again."

His words move you, but it's not the actual cause of your objection. "Loki, you must not put the sword together. It's too dangerous."

The Asgardian's expression changes, becomes harder. "I understand your concern, but this is not up for discussion, love. I'll do what is necessary to ban Blackheart from this world. Whether you approve of it or not. So please don't fight me."

You've never seen him like this. He is determined, ready to do whatever it takes to save the city. You know he wouldn't hurt you, he knows other ways to take you out if necessary. You won't stand in his way. You can't. So you nod. "Okay. I trust you."

He offers you a hand and you take it. His face doesn't change, because what he's about to do is a difficult task. Impossible if he were on his own. But there's a team waiting.

You briefly kiss his lips.

The next moment you two are gone from the Sanctum.

There's chaos in the streets of Greenwich Village.

A hole in the size of Blackheart is in the wall of the abandoned building, Stephen had been fighting the prince of hell earlier - the Avengers do their best to hold him off. But their weapons are virtually ineffective. Each wound they inflict on the demon bleeds for a second or two before closing. It doesn't seem to cause him any pain or even so much as discomfort.

Blackheart lunges at Sam. Stephen creates a magical chain and ropes it around the demon's arm. Planting his feet in the ground, he tries to hold him back. This buys Sam time to fly out of reach, but Stephen is pulled forward, his boots skidding across the asphalt.

A spider web catches the other arm of the demon and Peter pops up next to the sorcerer, mimicking his moves. He manages to bring Blackheart to a halt. It's a testament to the boy's immense strength.

"I can hold him," Peter assures the sorcerer, breathlessly.

Stephen doesn't argue, drops his chain and takes a step to the side, to have space for his spell. With his fingers, he paints golden runes in the air, forming an intricate mandala.

With his now free hand, Blackheart grabs the web and hurls Peter through the air. Tony rushes after him as an arrow shoots toward the demon. He catches it before it hits him. A soft ticking sound is heard, then the tip explodes.

Blackheart stands there as if nothing happened. Part of his skin is burned - ironic since he is used to the burning flames of hell. A second passes, two seconds, then the skin heals from the edges of the injury. There’s almost no blood.

Stephen knits his brows together in concentration. The spell is almost completed. He just needs to add a few more runes.

Blackheart is bombarded by various blasts from the team, all of which serve to distract him. Unfortunately, he is not stupid. Searching, he turns and runs with a few steps to the unprotected Sorcerer Supreme. He grabs him around the waist, arms pressed close to his body. The mandala vanishes instantly, the spell lost, unfinished.

"Stephen Strange, you're quite insufferable," it echoes in his head.

"I've been told." Stephen can't move his arms. He flicks his wrists for spells and tries everything to get free. To no avail.

Steve’s vibranium shield hits Blackheart's back, dealing the smallest of scratches, which disappear right away. The demon moves the fingers of his other hand to Stephen's eyes.

"The soul of a Sorcerer Supreme will be an interesting addition to my collection."

Stephen tries to think of a spell that will help him, any spell. He hears the shouts of the team, but doesn't listen to them. Without magical weapons, they can't do anything for him.

But then, surprisingly, Loki appears, jumping on Blackheart's shoulders from behind, in his hands a sword with a bright blue blade, like cold flames. There's no witty remark, no cool one liner. He simply rams the sword between the shoulder and the neck of the demon.

Blackheart hisses and it echoes in the heads of everyone nearby. For the first time it's a truly effective attack. But Loki doesn’t stop at that. He pulls the sword back out and jumps down from the demon.

The wound on Blackheart’s neck bleeds. One second, two seconds, three seconds... more and more black blood seeps out. Slowly, thickly, as if it's not used to leaving the body.

Blackheart doesn't even notice at first, far too busy reaching for Loki. But the Asgardian deftly dodges the tall figure. He cuts into his arm. Not enough to sever it, but it's enough for Stephen to get free. His cloak immediately puts him at a distance and the sorcerer doesn't hesitate to start the binding spell a second time. He assembles the golden glowing mandala while Loki continues to fight Blackheart.

It's insane and genius and very, very brave.

The rest of the team helps to draw the demon's attention away from Stephen.

Blackheart finally notices the blood running down his body and screeches. He isn’t used to this, maybe it’s the first time ever he is bleeding, and there’s a touch of insecurity in his moves. Along with a large amount of anger.

"How dare you?!" It sounds threatening in Loki's head, attacking him like pin needles.

The Asgardian does not respond. He lashes out at the prince of hell without mercy, adding more and more cuts onto his skin.

Stephen completes his spell with a last rune. "Stand back!" he shouts to the others, for all who stand too close to the demon will be dragged into hell with him.

Loki takes a step back, but Blackheart reaches for him. Loki dodges with a roll and stabs him in the flank. He has no chance to get away. The demon’s focus is on him and he seems determined to kill the Asgardian.

Holding the spell with one hand, Stephen reaches back with his other to pull the cloak of levitation from his shoulders and throw it in Loki's direction. At the same time, he hurls the glowing spell at Blackheart.

The mandala wraps around the demon, binding him. At the last moment Loki is pulled back by red fabric. Sword firmly in hand, he hovers in the air, ready to attack again if necessary.

The mandala spins, Blackheart screeches. His red glowing eyes are directed angrily at Stephen. With a motion of the sorcerer's hand the demon is sucked into the earth.

Then he is gone and all that remains is a black scorch mark on the asphalt.

Everyone stares at the spot and breathes a sigh of relief.

The cloak brings Loki safely to the ground and then leaves his shoulders. The Asgardian thanks it with a silent nod before the cloak floats back to its owner.

You rush to the men. Loki had dropped you off in the security of the sidelines before he threw himself into the battle. You're not delusional enough to think you could do anything against an immortal demon of hell, and you had watched with bated breath, glad it ended rather smoothly.

You cup Loki's face and look at him in concern. "Are you alright?" you ask as you look at his bruises and cuts.

He nods, placing his hand on yours. Loki’s gaze falls on Stephen, who has spotted you, and his expression darkens in response. Stephen makes a gesture in front of his forehead, opens his astral eye and steps to the both of you, looking straight at you.

Loki steps in front of you, the buzzing sword still in his hand. "Don't touch her," he growls.

The sorcerer actually seems offended at this innuendo, but before he can say anything, you step around the Asgardian. His protection is appreciated, but you know you have to stand accountable and apologize.

"I'm sorry for what I did."

"It wasn't you," Loki throws in as if that were an acceptable excuse. He wouldn't even be on Midgard if it were.

Stephen's third eye scans you. "I can no longer sense that second magic presence within you," he mutters, blinking as he closes his astral eye. "I should have known what it was the first time I noticed it."

He has been speaking more to himself, but it still draws your attention. "What do you mean ‘the first time’?" you ask, frowning.

"Back when we met in the tower and talked about the necklace, I sensed another presence in you. I was wondering why Loki hadn't noticed it. But I didn't think someone was invading your mind… I thought," his eyes are briefly darting to the Asgardian, "you were pregnant."

A cough that could be a hidden laugh comes out of your mouth. "You thought I had a magical gifted baby with Loki?" you ask incredulously. And because Loki looks actually offended by your tone, you add, "I think I'd notice if I were pregnant."

Stephen's weird statements in your recent conversations with him suddenly make so much more sense. It'd be funnier if it hadn't resulted in a fight with your friend just earlier.

While you were talking the other Avengers approached you.

"Okay, anyone else got the feeling they missed an important part of a subplot?" Tony asks before eyeing the sword. "Is that…?"

"Yes," Loki answers Tony's question without looking at him. The fight against the demon and also the fight against the witch in your head, have cost him strength. Especially Blackheart's claws, because they have left their marks on him.

"Looks less haunted than I anticipated."

"It just helped us to defeat the prince of hell." It is Stephen who answers.

"Will he die?" Steve asks.

"No, he's still immortal. But the open wounds will keep him busy for a while." Stephen's gaze moves to Loki. "So, you stole the last piece of the artifact." It's a mere statement.

"Next time I may just wait for your order to finish the negotiation."

"Let's clean up and go home. If we're done here?" Steve interrupts the discussion, but looks questioningly at Stephen. The sorcerer nods. Yes, they are done here.

"Loki, I need the sword back."

"Of course." The Asgardian grins broadly before he asks, "But don't you want to know how I got my hands on the necklace?"

Stephen's face drops while he is having a deja-vu. Must be his personal circle of hell. "Look, it's been a long day and I-…"

Loki interrupts him at this point, as funny as he finds the situation the two always seem to find themselves in.

"You know, if you had listened to me the last time, you might have connected the dots to the Witchling's mind invasion."

"Alright, tell me your story then." Sighing, Stephen concedes defeat.

Loki's grin is very wide and pleased. "If you insist." He puts his arm around Stephen's shoulder and leads him a bit away while starting his story. You watch them with amusement, but then turn your attention to the Avengers, some of whom are cleaning up the destruction.

Fortunately, there are only slightly injured on your side. You heal a few minor wounds with magic before everyone agrees to head home.

Stephen heads back to the Sanctum to check on Wong.

"You have three days to sort your shit out," he says, turning to Loki, before disappearing through a sparkling portal.

"What does he mean?" you ask the Asgardian.

The corners of Loki's mouth twitch upward. "He's not happy I stole the necklace from the museum."

While that is true you sense that is not the full answer to your question. Still, you drop the subject for now.

"Wanna order food? I'm starving."

The Asgardian has no objection to that, and some time later you're both sitting in the compound with empty pizza boxes in front of you and full stomachs.

Loki kept throwing you weird looks during the meal, as if he was thinking about something. You've given him the space and waited for him to speak on his own.

"How are you feeling?" he finally asks you innocuously.

"It's good to be alone in my head again. I still feel like I'm not fully back online." It will probably take a few days to come back to normal after this long time with another person taking the shots. You think back to the strange dream you had. That was weeks ago. You feel sick when you think about how long Daegal was in your head.

"I'm sorry," Loki apologizes, and you look up in wonder, because he has no reason to.

"Huh?"

"Stephen was right," the Asgardian murmurs as if he himself can't believe he’s saying that. "I should have sensed the presence in your mind."

You push your food aside and take Loki's hand. "It's not your fault. I heard his voice in my head and it didn't occur to me that something was wrong with that. He's a master of manipulation. He slipped through my defenses like nothing. And we had a lot going on that distracted both of us."

"But not anymore. It's just you and me now, love."

"Yeah." You return Loki's smile. "We should celebrate. You just saved the city."

______________________

Suuuurprise, she's not preggers :D

Remember Daegal from Club Enchant and the mission in LA? Well, I did and I made it to y’alls problem...

And yes, I compared mind control with driving a car.

Tag List: @lokisgoodgirl @lokixryss @itsybitchylittlewitchy @yokshi-unbeliebubble @fictional-hooman @elennair @all-envy-suyu @purplekitten30 @elisadmaggiore @nothing2113 @ceo-of-stfu @moonlightreader649 @ronipiamka @fluffybunnyu @ninjarose23 @ozymdias @huntress-artemiss @sofi786 @thedistractedagglomeration @rosaline-black @msrawog @moonlightreader649 @paetonnn @eldriidd @r4inlov3r @eleniblue @eleniblue @maeisonline @marvel-love24 @sinsandguilt @kalinaselennespeaks @ohtellmelove @eleniblue @hyojin-2579 @just-someone11 @marygoddessofmischief @fall-myriad @melavoris @baebeepeach

#loki x y/n #Loki x reader #loki layfeyson x you #loki laufesyon x reader #Loki x you #imagine loki #the witchling and the god #imagine marvel #mcu prompt #loki odison x reader #marvel x reader #mcu x reader #loki fanfction #slow burn #loki odinson #loki laufeyson

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phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing · 1 year

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How would you personally rewrite... the slow reveal of Durandal being the actual Kiana and treat it as a big deal? And Durandal herself, as much as I like her, she REALLY needs a rework.

Regarding Durandal’s writing I don’t think it’s that bad, especially after Kolosten, I guess letting her lose a fight against Mei to humble her a little and make both Herrschers and World Serpent more of a threat. Also a treat for me personally. That would be cool. Just beat the fuck out of her.

More moments of bonding too, whether with Rita or other Immortal Blades, or Nagamitsu, so she’s not stuck infodumping during the Kolosten stuff?

I’m fine with the reveal to the player, but I really dislike the reveal to the characters (Rita just spills it offscreen? wtf) so post Kolosten I’d have a build up of Durandal acting strange coz she’s awkwardly trying to get closer to her sister.

Bonus points for a rumor that she’s in love with Kiana or something. Missed opportunity for shenanigans right there. Could be one reason for Mei to beat her up, as a treat to the like, 2 Kiamei fans that probably follow me

I’d also have her slip up about her secret, and have to cover it up, maybe making someone suspect she’s an illegitimate child of Siegfried’s as a callback to his womanizer reputation among Schicksal’s ranks. Just… shenanigans and teasing to build up the tension and explore the status quo.

Then eventually she’d come out and say it, probably as they save Siegfried similar to canon but without the weird magic photo or excessive poetry. Calling him dad tearfully would be enough. Coming out as the original Kiana, all awkward and choked up throat, but assuring Kiana that she’s well beyond earned her name and this Bianka doesn’t want it back.

Maybe someone making fun of Dudu for calling herself Kiana B. Possibly a callback like Siegfried recalling the children talking names moments before the plane was shot down. cute stuff.

Rita bonding with Kiana as well since she’s a bit of a package deal with Dudu, they never really picked this relationship up after Arc City. That would give a path for some of the above points to come up.

#honkai impact #hi3 #asks #rewrite

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stillness138 · 3 months

Text

As a companion post, i also redid my least favourite Gwent card art into a top 20, though i daresay a lot of the technical complaints are universal. I'll try not to be too mean.

Also under the cut.

My (but i am objectively correct) top 20 least favourite Gwent card arts:

They can't all be precious...

There's a certain amount of "why is she naked" or "why is she dead" or "why is she dead and naked" kinda art, but then Karol Bem rolled up and somehow made the card pool so much worse. At least Whoreson Jr. is technically impressive.

20: Ciaran aep Easnillen by Bryan Sola ...however i'm still allowed to not like it when my blorbos suffer on their card arts. Bryan is a great artist and i'm sure he didn't mean malice, unfortunately this is Ciaran's most memorable (read: literally only) scene. This is mostly personal bias.

19: Milva by Bartłomiej Gaweł To be nice! I like the tiled floor, that's a nice level of detail. I like her practical outfit in the spirit of the old minigame art, too. Heck, even the tragic irony of the scene wouldn't be so bad - she clearly shot before getting shot... If only this wasn't Milva's only card art for years and if she wasn't a well-explored book character with plenty of scenes to choose from. It could've been way worse too i guess.

18: Chapter of Wizards by Maciej Łaszkiewicz Listen. Maciej is a cool artist with a very distinct, also quite "classical painting" style. I like a lot of his pieces from the last card sets. But. Whose idea was to solve the question of representing a historically changing organization with a statue of its founders? Furthermore, who thought people are gonna be blown away by the in-game avatar this inevitably spawned? :D It's just funny more than anything. I guess I can appreciate the Lord of the Rings reference.

17: Mammuna, also by Maciej Łaszkiewicz This one is unfortunately not that funny. I'm not sure i can explain it; it's a Monsters card, offputting things are the name of the game. This is one of the artworks that definitely, or probably, fall under completely personal reactions, or at least i never heard loud complaints about it the same way say Coup de Grâce is widely considered one of the best Nilfgaard card arts. Maybe i don't like how the character design seems a bit random, maybe i'm tired of the tired witch=hooked nose trope, maybe it's the color scheme and weirdly unpleasant looking textures. I guess it's just very much not for me.

16: Selfeater by Alicja Użarowska Similar case as previously. I don't even mind a lot of gross art - the infamous Parasite (the parallels now that bg3 is out lol) isn't on this list - and the Monsters faction is there to go crazy with this type of stuff. And yet, i can't stand this little abomination, and neither can most of the Gwent playerbase. It's not even the toe-in-mouth that really makes it bad, at least for me it's the texture and stretching of its skin. It simultaneously looks like it's melting and about to tear apart. Just an overall no thanks.

15: Miner by Christof Grobelski Christof is my new, excuse the zoomer language, pogchamp, because i think he is severely underrated given the crazy impressive lengths he went into with card art like Vivaldi Bank and even Phooca, and Miner isn't really bad. Unfortunately, fear of depths.

14: Doppler by Bartłomiej Gaweł Bartłomiej loves himself some dirt and mud and wet beast wednesday, and i can appreciate that. But this one isn't it. The palette, the scene. This, beside Dudu's card art, is the only way dopplers are represented in the game, and that's a shame. Leave the poor soul alone :(.

13: Brehen by Oleksandr Kozachenko I'm sorry to say, this is the weakest Way of the Witcher art. I appreciate it's the one scene everyone knows Brehen for, but why must he look like the village lowlife parents tell you not to talk to? I mean, not that Brehen could be trusted with kids. He's despicable, but that doesn't need to be communicated by making him look unappealing. On the other hand, wouldn't his personality have more impact if he was comparatively good looking? Or maybe i'm a shallow bitch who'd rather some eye candy... To give some credit to the character design though, the fact the lady is wearing the opposite of revealing clothes is a welcome refreshment. And i quite like the shading on her clothes too.

12: War Chariot by Grafit Studio There are a couple of more fairytale-like, bright and whimsical card arts, and there are arts with smoother, almost glossy textures, neither is really my issue with this. What rubs me the wrong way is the scene itself. It comes off as showing the elves as something grotesque, the butt of a joke, and, sure, this is a Northern Realms card, but it still feels... unserious in the wrong way. Admittedly i am biased.

11: Toad Prince by Marek Madej It's again a matter of personal taste in the Monsters faction, because in essence, everything i don't like about it can really be justified by having the red faction sticker. But he still looks like a formless mass of vaguely green snot to me. And his comparably thin little arms look like he's wearing long sleeves that also got covered in green snot. Which, admittedly, was the case for the whole sewer in Hearts of Stone, so who am i to complain. It's far from the worst, maybe it shouldn't be this high on the list, at least this piece mostly fades into obscurity and Marek is an actually skilled artist. I'm saying this because Bem's time draws near.

10: Vilgefortz by Nemanja Stankovic Full personal bias. Technically very much fine between the different textures, little drama in the lighting and fire particles borrowed from Bryan Sola. Look at the crazed look in Vilgefortz's face, lore accurate. Then look at the gloves of the guy he's melting into paste. And then suffer with me.

9: King Radovid V by Nemanja Stankovic and Radovid: Judgment by Valeriy Vegera Ok, this is a special case. I'm lumping them together because my issue with them is the same; their metatext. CDPR has a very obvious boner for Radko and despite writing him to be a complete cringefail idiot, they keep pretending like he's the coolest mf this side of Yaruga. If they actually allowed him to be the 17yo grooming victim he is with some nuance and without the thinly veiled nationalism projected onto the worst possible candidate with no self-reflection, i'd hate his ass (at leas the Gwent one) a lot less. Also the second art is the stupidest decision in the last card drop. Calanthe died for this. Literally.

8: Saov Ainmhi'dh by Ivan Vilmant Price of Power's infamous outsourcing of card art led to this unfortunate letdown. The artist tried! You can tell. But, in a spark of bitter irony, the spectral deer ended up looking as plastic as the Hobbit movies it references.

7: Temple of Melitele by Karol Bem This should be higher and would be if i didn't have to go through some more "please don't do this, good artist". But trust, this is one of Karol's worst crimes against good card art. From afar it looks alright! Cute piece with maybe even a bit of an old postcard vibe. Then you look closer and it falls apart completely. From the top; some roofs have texture, some don't. Some windows and arches don't line up or have ever so slightly off perspective. In places that are unexplainably sharper or blurrier than others, it's apparent Karol used extra assets. And on the very left, the foliage just sort of blends in until it disappears, because Karol doesn't understand depth. As a cherry on top, check out the little wooden bridge making no sense. The more and closer one looks, the more of a mess it is. Karol, you bloody hack.

6: Savvy Huckster by Siarhei Hlushakou This one, surprisingly enough, is more bearable upon closer inspection, but something about it used to absolutely grate my nerves when i still played or watched the game somewhat regularly. I don't know if it's the odd use of its color palette, the kind of obsolete idea of a card to begin with or the weird rocks on the tray unpleasantly standing out, or all of the above, but i can't stand looking at it for too long. But again. At least the artist actually painted something. Right, Karol?

5: Kerack Cutthroat by Valeriy Vegera Technically alright, if only too dark and washed up. Then again, the scene itself is tired too. The "why is she naked and dying?" And actually, taking the premium into account, why must she be getting stabbed over and over infinitely? Y'all didn't think this one through, did you. I'm sorry Valeriy, i still love your art, but this one really wasn't it on pretty much any front. But, even for this one, like every other legitimate artist on this list, you get the honorary "not a hack" badge.

4: Saint Gregory and Rosa and Edna var Attre by Karol Bem These two don't necessarily have all the same issues, but i guess there isn't enough slots in the universe to describe Karol's astonishingly low levels of competence. St. Gregory suffers from Karol's lack of depth understanding, but moreso it's a good example of that thing he does where he applies atrocious amounts of noise or grain onto everything. Enlarge and look at the area of and around the center left guy in the forefront. I'm also really not a fan of the magic fire glow this thing has. Rosa and Edna deserved so much better. To get the carelessness out of the way, check out Rosa's thumb in the foreground. What. Both their faces are inhumanly smooth, someone said they might be 3D models painted over and i wouldn't be surprised. Even in such a detail as the texture of the wooden sword you can kind of tell Karol relies on outsourced assets and thelike a lot; he doesn't have that much of a personal style (other than the awful grain) so when a unique texture shows up, it's probably safe to assume he pasted it in. To top it all off, the lighting of this piece is atrocious.

3: Yaga by Bogdan Rezunenko and Lesser Witch by Karol Bem Fatphobia. Just don't. That's to Bogdan. You, Karol, quit trying to fit in with the cooler kids, and by that i mean you should've long since quit making Gwent art by the time this unfortunately saw the light of day. I did promise i'll try not to be too mean, but there really isn't much to say about these two. Bogdan is a capable artist who should maybe check his biases or maybe just think about whether the way too estabilished visual shorthands for evil are faulty (they are). Karol Bem wouldn't know believable illusion of perspective and good texturing if they smacked him across the face.

2: Artaud Terranova by Katarzyna Bekus Molegion actually tried to explain this one to me. And, sure, having terrible characters with terrible traits represented by doing terrible things is fine on paper. For once we got a book scene, too (god why are most of the book scenes in Gwent all the painful stuff), that's cool. Making the canon pedo fat, i think less so. It's otherwise technically a good artwork with merits, i like Ciri's hair, the textures in the columns and the color palette. The pose, as much as i hate it, makes anatomical sense (this will become relevant in a short bit). But i can't get over how in the premium Ciri has to wriggle around waiting for Geralt who just won't show up. In the end, did Terranova have to exist in Gwent at all? Since this was in the Thanedd drop, why not a Nilfgaard Isengrim card? That would've been cool. He actually has a few usable book scenes.

"Honorable" mention: Little Bird by Karol Bem Karol's worst tendencies: the card. A pile of assets, none of which are fitted, or in the case of the stuff hanging from the ceiling, even cropped well. Misunderstanding of depth, the hanging herbs are blurry but the guys under them are sharp, the items in the foreground are blurry again but way too much. Strands of the girl's hair straight up cut off in the middle and then resume again. And, of course, a noise effect to try to cover it all up. I swear to god Karol.

1: Vereena by, of course, Karol Bem I hate to hate it. Because it could've been another book-adjacent scene and the color scheme is actually a rare moment of brightness for Karol, because usually, Vereena is put in colder tones. But unfortunately, he bungled this one in a whole new kind of spectacular fashion. The leg. The leg is very obviously, undeniably, comically, anatomically...incorrect. The rest of her isn't very good either, the front hand looks awkward, her neck and shoulders aren't properly built. The foot is too small. Even the hair is made in a way that makes it look like a weirdly solid mass. The drapery doesn't make sense in the waist area. On a vibe or depicted scene level, there are probably pieces i loathe more than this one, but as an artist and a person with legs, the painfully obvious anatomy issue of this one earns it the title of worst Gwent art in my book. Karol Bem is a hack, which is why this happened at all. I'm willing to believe he's not a malicious person either, but he should probably stop seeking work in a field he clearly has to fake his way through. Perhaps he'd make a better graphic designer?

To add something more positive at the end of this list as a whole, Gwent has a card pool of, i believe, a little over a thousand and a couple hundred, and the strong majority of it are incredibly stunning works of art. The overall quality is of its own kind, and it's much easier to choose 20 amazing and impactful pieces than find 20 that are bad enough to be ripped apart online. The existence of premiums is cool, but the static art on its own is some of the best modern fantasy art to be found. That's really heckin cool for an obscure game set in a relatively obscure universe.

#shut up elis #the witcher #gwent: the witcher card game #bem gave me a tummy ache it's nearly 4am and i'm about to peace out #read peace as pass btw #(im fine)

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