#either confused women or predatory men

[cl0ckworkqueerness]

trans women are not listened to because any connection to femininity makes their viewpoints "less valuable" by misogynists

trans men are not listened to because any connection to femininity (even in the past) makes their viewpoints "less valuable" by misogynists

trans women are demonized because any connection to masculinity (even in the past) makes them "dangerous and predatory" by radfems

trans men are demonized because any connection to masculinity makes them "dangerous and traitorous" (or infantilized for being "corrupted") by radfems

nonbinary people are forced into one of these two categories because of what either of these groups perceive their "true sex" as, regardless of whether or not it's true, because "Only Two Genders" and "We Can Always Tell" (nevermind the fact that gender is unquantifiable and they can almost never reliably tell in my experience lmao) and then completely dismissed as "not real", "faking it", "dangerous", or "confused"

all forms of transphobia joined at the hip, and exist because of the same root problem: gender/bioessentialism. there are different types affecting different groups of people, and those types are separate with different consequences, but it's all the same motivation: the upholding of the strict, sex-based gender binary, which not only ignores trans people but forces intersex people into categories that often do not fit them

so when a fellow trans person tries to recreate or uphold what they were fed by a society largely created by those who wish to see them dead, my heart hurts a little for them. it's a poisonous idea that has spread like wildfire, and the only way to stop it is to construct a fireproof home, not to build a shack of wood and pray the embers have died. they haven't. they never have, and they never will so long as flammable homes keep burning down

#transgender #trans #transphobia #transmisogyny #transandrophobia #nbphobia #<- please tell me the more accurate term if you know it i genuinely forgot it #obviously this is not a complete list of everything experienced by every trans person ever but

[inazuma-fulgur]

I like the scent of people but I hate the scent of sex

Like all participants can have showered until just five minutes before, done a deep clean doesn't matter

""Not all odors are bad," Sherry Ross, MD, an OB-GYN" yeah but what if I don't like them

Kids [endearing, joking] it's time to learn about your body and stis

Here's the source for the quote:

#legit smell might be my no 1 reason to never have sex again #i mean there are other issues that make me very much not fond of the idea that are more pressing #being ace and telling ppl because it's relevant in regards to boundaries has unfortunate effects. usually it's confusion (annoying #because then I have to answer questions or leave) and sometimes straight disinterest. which honestly is fine. #desinterest is definitely the best result #sometimes people don't get it but just accept it but that's honestly almost worse than the annoying questions because someone is avoiding #the topic instead of choosing to broaden their horizon. sure some people do their research privately but you can't do research about me #at least not about my sexuality. you can do quite some online searches about me lmao #and the third common reaction is fetishization. were people either assume I'm some innocent pure fantasy being and make up shit about me #(or about ace people in general) and if there ever is just one thing not framed well or perfectly nuanced that's a wild card for folks to #believe whatever they prefer to have heard and then if you correct anything there's more confusion and pain #because everything I say or say about myself turns into a fact fact. about everyone which is just not how it works #and the other form of fetishization (in my experience by allo cis women who have not made any experiences not getting fetishized by men #(and also misread me as a man. people's education about trans people is miserable. to a lot of cis people seemingly being non binary is an #on top label and still has you qualify as a man or woman underneath that. as if calling yourself non binary was like a lesbian calling #themselves butch. which obviously isn't an accurate comparison even if nb women and men exist.) #and with those types there comes a fetishization of being seen as respectful and not predatory which then makes you more sexually appealing #which idk kinda makes sense if you're dealing with a sexually active person that is interested in you as well #it does not make sense purely on the terms of you being attracted to someone who mentioned being ace to you. it is not about you. whether #said ace person is sexually active or not

[a-faggot-with-opinions]

I'll probably add to these thoughts later but I feel like the way that transandrophobia or transmisandry or whatever you choose to call it mainly operates is by making itself confusing in order to make it extremely hard to actually pin down and call out. We're treated as women when it's convenient to leverage misogyny against us and treated as privileged men if we call it out, but we're also treated as hysterical women when it becomes convenient to ignore our concerns. We're treated as evil disgusting faggots and trannies to be exterminated, as predatory men who want to make the "good" men have sex with us, but we don't even get the benefit of being seen as fully male. This is the intersection at which we lie, and the intersection that we've decided to call transandrophobia.

When it's convenient, we're treated as hyper-emotional whiny women with no agency, but when it's also convenient, we're predatory males who just have something wrong with them. And when the transandrophobe finds that the time is right, they treat us like some strange creature that is neither male nor female, either to be fucked or to be exterminated; often both. We're just objects to be fucked until we show any interest in a man; then, we're predators, almost like we're from another planet, preying on the poor helpless males. And when we show interest in a woman? Well, I can't speak on this myself since I am gay, but from what I have seen from listening to other transmascs? We've become predatory men trying to prey on poor cis women, but we still know nothing about the world and should shut up and let the real men speak for us.

And when we ask for one thing, to simply be able to speak, we are both aggressive privileged males preying on helpless women and hysterical women crying about nothing at the same time. Every word we say can and will be held against us because the truth of what the world thinks of us is that whether they admit it or not they think that we are less than human. And they will use whatever tactic they have, every tool of oppression, to remind us that we are not. Every day that we exist in this world as transmasculine people we are told that we are something nonhuman, something that needs to be killed. But we are also told every day that we exist in this world that none of this is real. That we're crazy, that we're lying, that we're just hysterical privileged women who need to shut up and let others do the talking for us.

That is what I mean when I say transandrophobia.

#star speaks #transandrophobia #anti transmasculinity #transmisandry #please reblog this #long post

[thebutchtheory]

I believe that butches and trans women are hated with the same, or a similar, kind of vitriol for introducing some sense of masculinity into womanhood that gets us both universally hated by many, and i don't think enough people are willing to talk about this.

Butches are seen as ruining their beautiful feminine bodies and are seen as betrayers of womanhood and femininity, even by lesbians. They ‘ruin’ femaleness by introducing masculinity into it, by being a woman who chooses masculinity, and she is seen as a predator, as sexually aggressive, perverted, and more.

Trans women are seen as ‘ruining’ femininity by bringing masculinity into it on the basis of having been assigned male at birth. Just as being born female is seen as an inherently feminine trait, being born male is seen as an inherently masculine trait, and the act of becoming female is seen as ‘tainting’ femaleness by having an ‘inherently’ masculine person become a woman, and she is similarly seen as a sexually aggressive, deceitful predator and pervert.

People act like people only hate butches because they confuse us for trans women as if the predatory lesbian stereotype hasn't been most directly and harshly applied to butch lesbians. Butches are not solely hated for being mistaken for trans women, butches are hated very harshly in our own right for 'tainting' femininity in a similar way to how trans women are seen as 'tainting' femininity by having been assigned male at birth.

Butches get kicked out of bathrooms not inherently for being mistaken for trans women or even men, but because by nature of being masculine and a woman at the same time is something that is deeply unacceptable to society, and we are immediately deemed as predatory.

Drag queens are highly visible for their flashy fashion and artistic portrayals of hyperfemininity, and in many cases are even loved by many straight people (particularly women) because of this. Butches, however, are some of the most unaccepted forms of being GNC out there because you can't sexualize butchness in the same ways. Masculinity is consistently stereotyped as lazy, dirty and ugly, as well as generally aggressive and sexually predatory, and so when a woman chooses to be masculine, these worst stereotypes of masculinity are always applied to her first, and then she is ignored when she is brutalized because she has 'tainted' her 'inherent' femininity by choosing to be masculine, and people are secretly hoping that this will 'help' her to become feminine.

Even in queer spaces, butches are routinely mischaracterized and ignored. Butches are seen as jokes, they are deeply stereotyped in media to be predatory and ugly and aggressive, to the point that when a butch character is portrayed in a TV show, people get angry because they immediately assume that she is a stereotype--particularly of lesbianism--even when she is portrayed well and not at all written as a stereotype, because butch women like this can't exist in real life, because there's no way a woman would choose to be a dirty, ugly, masculine person instead of a beautiful feminine one.

'Butch' and 'masc' as terms in many especially young queer communities are so poorly understood and so poorly applied to women, who are seen as having a natural inclination to femininity by default, that women in full faces of makeup will be called 'butch' and 'masc' with absolutely zero self awareness.

And god forbid you be a transfem butch of any kind.

People absolutely hate the idea of a woman being masculine so much, that they water down these terms and refuse to understand them, they buy into the idea that being butch is a stereotype, that feminine people are inherently safer and that being masculine is more aggressive and less safe, that butches are ugly, or even that butches aren't real.

There's a lot of overlap in the ways that trans women and butches are treated in being seen as 'tainting' femininity and femaleness by having some kind of masculinity, either by choosing to be such, or being viewed as having masculinity by being assigned male at birth.

This is mostly an incredibly rambly post on something I would like to make into more of a coherent essay one day, but this is a topic I wish people would talk more about. I just can't go on for much longer because it's late at night and I'll start to get repetitive.

#txt #transandrophobia #transmisogyny #transphobia #transgender #transgender theory #discourse #trans discourse #lgbt discourse

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

I'm kind of confused about the argument that aang was a bryke self insert tbh. I get the whole adult aangs design was based on bryke (which was weird) but too my knowledge that was literally it. I don't like him as much as the next person but I don't understand the insistence that aang is bryke because he's.. a fictional 12 year old written to be 12?

"I get the whole adult aangs design was based on bryke" Zutarians say that a lot, but I don't remember if that was ever actually confirmed that Bryan and Mike based it off either of them or anyone else, but even if it was true I wouldn't find it that weird.

June's looks was based off a staff writer, and Nyla was the name of her dog. I don't think that means she dreams of being a bounty-hunter, or that anyone else in the staff she wanted to be one, or that June's secret dream was writting kid's stories.

Azula's design was deliberately reworked to look more like her voice actress, Grey Delisle, once she got the job. I don't think that is supposed to imply Grey wants to be the traumatized princess/child soldier of an imperialist nation, or that 14-year-old Azula is a former stripper.

Cartoon characters being designed to look like real people, especially people closely associated with said cartoon, is SUPER common. Zutarians only throw a fit about Aang's design, both as an adult and a CHILD, being supposedly based on Michael Dante DiMartino because they like to use the bullshit "argument" of Kataang being the Male Gaze, while Zutara would be the Female Gaze.

Adult MEN supposedly projecting onto the character they want 14-year-old Katara to date is weird, creepy and predatory. Adult WOMEN openly, heavily projecting onto the character they want 16-year-old Zuko to date is a-okay. Double-standards at it's finest.

Also, I cannot get over how much they specifically try to use Aang shaving his head as proof that Michael was projecting onto him since he's bald. Someone please let these idiots know that Tibetan monks, which the air-nomads were clearly based on, have the tradition of shaving their heads for longer than many countries have existed.

Hell, Zuko was practically bald through all of book 1. That must means he's ALSO Michael's self-insert. Zutara is cancelled, guys!

Seriously, I have my issues with many of Bryke's choices, especially for the material post-original show, but the way Zutarians talk about them makes them sound like the most cartoony villains ever. By this point, I'm convinced that everytime they come up with yet another conspiracy and "reveal" the people who had been secretly pulling the non-existent strings the whole time to sabotage Zutara/push a creepy agenda through Kataang, they imagine Bryke doing this:

#anti zutara

[xekstrin]

Bi dude here: the bi/panphobia I've seen women experience tended to cast them as confused or attention-seeking (or traitorous if it's coming from radfem circles), whereas the bi/panphobia I've seen against men tends to usually fall into the buckets of calling us either creepy and/or predatory, in my experience

I’m so sorry. I’m holding your hand and gripping it tight so our sick as hell muscles can show off because we’re stronger than the losers who hate us

[papirouge]

"l also think they went hard on her bc she's very beautiful and nothing angers conservative men more than attractive liberal women lmao"

You are onto something here. I remember once in my country there was this polemic because a right wing politician said in a show he hosted that a female leftist politician had stated that pedophilia "had to be reinstated", which turned out to be false. This sparked a conversation in which a member of his political party (and also ex co-host of the show) also spoke up. He talked about how many middle aged men from the right would obssess over the young women from the left. He said that this guy was like this; he would say a lot of outrageous things about pretty leftist women just so they would go to his show and be near him. He also said even right wing women though he was too much and too sexist and pervy.

He also expanded on the right wing's men obsesion with young leftist women, saying how many of their conversations would focus on these women physical appareance. He also commented that male right wingers also had this delusion/fantasy where they believe they can 'save' these women from the left with their masculinity and rationality, and they compare themselves to the 'effeminate, somewhat homosexual" men from the left, believing themselves to be superior to these 'soyboys'.

Funnily enough, this same dude who would antagonize the young pretty women from the left just so they would pay attention to him, also tweeted something like "teen girl first anal", apparently confusing Twitter with the search engine. Once he also told a reporter he was attracted to her since she was 12 years old. He was 19 when she was 12.

Conservatives? Being hypocrite sex freaks? Color me shocked ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

This also confirms my theory that conservatives are ultimately only attracted by liberal women to have the satisfaction of taming/humbling them. Such gratification is impossible when they date doormat conservative pickmes. Look at all the women fawning at Musk or Andrew Tate... they aren't those they pick to date or breed with.

This obsession with tranny groomers and gay pedo of conservatives is peak projection. It's insane how the straight up pedo narrative of some conservative figures is glossed over, but someone being gay or with a gender identity is enough for them to suspects them of being a predator... I always said conservatives didn't care about pedophilia unless it was to dunk on liberals or "progressive" symbols (Epstein, Balenciaga, etc). They won't peep a word about conservatives caught with teens if not defend them (isn't Russell Brand -although not conservative got into conservatives good favor ever since he got vocal against the c0vid vaccîne- is accused of dating/sexually abusing a minor? and yet they're defending him like there's no tomorrow). Lately there's a twitter account who got suspended for accusing Musk of being a pedo (to get back at him after he accused a marine dude of being one when he refused his held when rescuing kids lost in a cave in Asia). I really think there's something to dig with him about it.... I'm still not over how fast Musk simps shrugged off his twitter side account where he role played as his own child and made sexual tweet.... His laptop should be investigated. Unfortunately the Musk savior syndrome is so strong, I think he could be caught raping a child people would still defend him, so.....

Sexual offenders & pedophiles are in the majority cis straight male so their obsessions to paint LGBT as these predatory groomers is lowkey insane. I've always said that since rape and sexual abuse stats disproportionately incriminate MEN they are desperate to find way of other'ing the issue. They'll either point fingers at non White men (so ugh, still men) or promote the idea that these stats are over amplified by false rape allegations 🤡

Aren't most father of teen moms grown adults? But suuuure, we should be focused on trans people in schools... controversial opinion but a drag doing a lecture in school is less concerning than grown men impregnating young girls...

I think the obsession with AOC of many conservatives also reeks from the fact they lowkey want to bang her.

#answered

[youregay]

If you talked to me irl abt gender, womanhood, femininity, gender presentation, sexuality, etc without knowing me you would assume I'm a very repressed trans woman. I'm stealth trans guy (using that phrasing cause 'passing' makes me gag) and there are a lot of aspects of femininity and womanhood I really enjoy. I fall into the camp of "I wish I were a woman" and if you heard me say that w/o context you'd prob be gearing up to make scrambled eggs. But truly, I'm a drag queen in a [trans] man's body.

I've only ever experienced attraction in a queer way so the idea of being with women as a man is so confusing; my first gay realizations were about women after all. I'm so used to my attraction being reflected in my gender presentation, loving men enough to be one and loving men because I am one and be attracted to men because they look like me and because I want to look like them, that the idea of that not carrying over to women is confounding. Women are so beautiful who wouldn't want to be one? boobs soapy in the shower, etc. Why wouldn't you want to reflect the image of the people you're attracted to? It doesn't help that internalized notions of being a 'predatory queer woman' have carried over into both adulthood and manhood, not helped especially by the fact that women have a genuine reason to be cautious around me as a strange man.

As it stands, I have little interest in presenting feminine save for in a theoretical world with shapeshifting or conprable high effort drag. Even when I cross dress I do it expressly to look like a man in a dress and I earnestly hope more people start recognizing how attractive it is when men/masculine people dress fem/slutty as a way to enhance their masculine features. Unfortunately, we live in a world where deviation from gender norms makes you less of a man; even in queer circles being multiple genders is often seen as percents of a single gender; being part man and part woman makes you less of either instead of two things wholly. I never mention my complicated relationship to gender because I am 100% a man and want to live exclusively as a man and no aspect of my identity or self can take away from that, but other people don't see it that way. Se la vie, my gender is my own and only for me.

Funny enough the thing I miss most about being passably a woman was 'tricking' men into being attracted to a dude. I realize though that men are openly attracted to me so often now that any insecurity about men still being attracted to me post transition is gone. I only miss the period of time where I knew I was a man and was basically in drag full time; there was an odd power that came with that. The other thing I miss was being able to more easily hit on women.

Just to end on a confusing note, none of this is helped by my strongly held conviction that I would be transfem if things had been different.

#gender #my post #my stuff #conceptualizing someone who's bi but only because they're a lesbian and a gay man at the same time #tag talk #save #trans #if someone told me to detr*ns over this i would kill them #if i didn't make it clear i loooovvveee being a man #im way happier as a man than i was as anything else #long post

[sleepysigh]

I admittedly am not above getting bogged down by the shit terfs say to me. The inherent absurdity in acting as though a it's a trans man's fault if he is subject to rude remarks about his body by gay cis guys in gay spaces is doing my head in

Because to believe that it's wrong to have a problem with this happening, as a transphobe, you'd have to believe that a) some women deserve misogyny and b) it is unreasonable to expect gay men not to be misogynist in their spaces

Like I know terfs like to think of gay trans men as all fujoshis preying on the sweet innocent gays but doesn't that kinda fall apart if you also believe in the homophobic notion that gay men simply can't help being misogynist?

You can't really protect anyone if you fuckin hate everyone. It's so obvious that terfs hate and fear men and trans people both so it's just completely bizarre to see one try to step between me and the cis men in my community as though they don't want both of us to die

Gives me the impression they have a weird possessive pet-and-owner relationship with gay men as a class that is wayyy closer to the predatory fujoshi mindset than what I have going on

Like how wonky does your perspective have to be to believe that either gay men being misogynist is totally fine if they're in a space for gay men, or that gay men would only say something misogynist if a woman was hitting on them (and that somehow makes it ok)???

Not to mention don't they supposedly believe I'm just a poor deluded straight girl who Society made hate my body and my sex? Do they think telling me misogynistic comments about how disgusting my body is are totally valid and defensible would somehow "break me out" of the delusion?

It's so awkward. It requires so many mental leaps. Maybe they're trying to pressure me into "giving up" on men and becoming a good little cis lesbian like them but damn it's so clumsy and screams "I need to control trans people to validate my narrative or it will collapse and who will I be then???"

Feels like they can't let go of their own homophobia and internalized misogyny so they have to stalk tumblr hunting for trans people to harass and control in order to feel okay

I just feel like if you're okay with who you are as a person you'd surely have better things to do than dig around years-old posts looking for -- in your eyes -- confused mentally ill women to dogpile

In what world does that improve anything at all?

#rant post

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Through the years, the term ‘bisexuality’ has undergone a series of redefinitions, and for many bisexuals it holds a deeply personal meaning that has taken years for them to work out. Terms like pansexual and omni-sexual are often included under the umbrella of bisexuality and certainly carry similar aspects. Bisexuality doesn’t have to be limited to being attracted to both men and women, bi advocate and author Robyn Ochs defines bisexuality as “the potential to be attracted — romantically and/or sexually — to people of more than one sex and/or gender,” and includes those who fall on different parts of the gender spectrum.

New terms like bisexuality+ and bi+ have popped up to include the attraction of sexual identities beyond the L and G, including those who are gender queer, fluid, or trans, as well as cisgendered male and females. Bisexuality, simply, is a much more open term for anyone who isn’t attracted to just one gender.

It is a common myth that bisexuals are the least stigmatised of the LGBT+ community. That to be bisexual you can simply date a straight person to camouflage into the heteronormative landscape and thereby escape a lot of the problems associated with being LGBT+. According to GLAAD, bisexuals have higher rates of anxiety, depression, and other mood disorders compared to gays, lesbians and heterosexuals. The Office for National Statistics has found that bisexual woman are twice as likely as their straight counterparts to experience domestic abuse from a partner. While bisexual men are disproportionally affected by HIV and STIs, according to a study from the American Journal of Preventative Medicine – many have blamed biphobia and the stigma against bisexual men, as many bisexual men are too ashamed to seek out proper healthcare.

Further studies have found that 37.3 percent of bisexual adults have reported experiencing depression, compared to 17.2 percent of heterosexual adults. While according to the Pew Research Center, Only 28% of bi or pan people ever feel safe enough to come out to their friends and family. Human Rights Campaign have found that bisexual people face "minority stress," and are more likely to engage in self-harming behaviours and attempted suicide than gay, lesbian, or heterosexual adults. This correlates with a study in the Journal of Adolescent Health, which has found that bisexual and questioning females are at a higher risk of depression or suicide than any other sexual denomination.

“Identifying as bisexual often feels like you're stuck in limbo — not “gay” enough for some, and not “straight” enough for others.”

Many have argued these problems are exasperated because bisexuality is often ignored by the media, academics, and society at large. This is the crux of ‘bi-erasure’, which is defined by GLAAD as “a pervasive problem in which the existence or legitimacy of bisexuality (either in general or in regard to an individual) is questioned or denied outright.”

“Identifying as bisexual often feels like you're stuck in limbo — not “gay” enough for some, and not “straight” enough for others,” writes Kyli Rodriguez-Cayro for Bustle. “While bi people make up 52 percent of the LGBTQ community, they are sometimes excluded from the narrative at Pride festivals and LGBTQ celebrations because of biphobia and bi erasure. Bi erasure is a serious problem that isn't just promoted by straight people, but on occasion, by the non-bi queer community as well.”

“Bisexuals cop biphobia from all sides, from our own community and from straights."

Elizabeth Sutherland writes for SBS about her struggles with occupying both straight and queer spaces and feeling ostracized by both. “There is a privilege in passing as straight, but there is a cost, too. The knowledge that you’re only being treated well, or equally, because part of your self is concealed is a difficult burden to carry… Bisexuals are seen as predatory, promiscuous, untrustworthy, adulterous and confused. We’re vilified as fence-sitters, or just plain greedy. In my line of work I’m in contact with young people all day. It’s easier to reassure colleagues and parents that I’m respectable when I’m seen as a lesbian in a steady relationship. But if I try to describe myself as bisexual—well, for starters, it sounds more sexual.”

Rebecca Dominguez, president of Bisexual Alliance Victoria, explains that “bisexuals cop biphobia from all sides, from our own community and from straights... the reason it’s easier to identify as lesbian than bisexual is that lesbians don't get any homophobia from within the LGBTI communities.”

Unfortunately, the bisexual community oftentimes isn’t united enough to combat these struggles as effectively as the gay and lesbian communities have. Lewis, 26, explains to the Huffington Post: “bisexuals are often invisible from each other. The UK has no mainstream bisexual magazines for us to discuss our issues in. We have no apps to connect us. We have no venues to meet others like us and make friends. I’m one of the most profiled bisexual men in the country yet sadly I’ve never been in a room with even 10 other bisexual men my age. It’s a lonely sexuality, I have no one to talk to that understands some of the unique bi issues I face.

“Another thing that isn’t talked about is the attacks on our straight partners. My girlfriend and I have been together for 18 months, in that time I’d say she has received more abuse than me. People don’t think twice about telling her that I’m going to cheat on her, that she’ll never be enough for me, that’s she’s going to catch HIV. These people have never met me yet they feel it’s fine to cast doubt in my girlfriend’s mind. They’d be perfectly happy for my girlfriend to dump me because of my sexuality and what’s worse is they’d feel the world was back in balance.”

Rob, 41, puts it succinctly enough for the Huffington Post: “Bi-erasure may seem like a small problem but it is thought that bi-invisibility is one of the reasons that, according to several reports, bisexuals have higher rates of depression, anxiety, self-harm and suicide than straight, gay and lesbian people.”

The problems bisexuals face are too dangerous to continue being ignored by the LGBT+ community. If you dismiss a bisexual person as simply going through a phase, not being truthful, after attention, or just being promiscuous then you are part of the problem. Bisexuals make up most of our community and their plight is the same as ours. Standing together and acknowledging the disproportionate mental health issues and discrimination they face, as well as the biphobia within our own community will only strengthen us. Besides, with more young people identifying as queer than ever before, bi-erasure might rapidly become a thing of the past.

#bi erasure #bisexual erasure #bisexuality #bisexual community #lgbtq community #lgbtq #bi #support bisexuality #pride #bi tumblr #bisexuality is valid #lgbtq pride #bisexual #bi pride #bisexual nation #bisexual pride #bisexual education #bisexual youth #support bisexual people #bisexual men #respect bisexual people #bisexual rights #bisexual women #bisexual people #biphobic gay people #biphobic #biphobia #bisexual injustice

[cherrytea556]

I use to be both against misandry and misogyny because I believed hating on a gender and not the person themselves is ridiculous. I use to think that because they meant similar things (mainly hating on a gender) then they must've been similar to each other.

But now I can say that while misandry is in no way similar to misogyny (as misogyny is deeply rooted in history that has affected generations of women both physically and emotionally in different ways unlike misandry that while can be a thing, is often mistaken as misogyny towards men most of the time) and most guys I see complain about misandry are usually misogynist themselves/hypocrites (Take Dr Shaym's 'You should shut up about male privilege' and '50 female privileges' videos for example), this black and white thinking on both sides can cause bigotry to prevail. While misogynists are obviously towards women and other groups, misandry are different, rather towards other marginalized identities like trans men/women, queer men, moc (men of color), non binary people etc...The most prominent example of this is through terf/radfem content as they have spread misandry but also bigotry towards marginalized identities like trans/non binary people because of that mentality (thinking transwomen are a danger and thinking transmen/ afab non binary people are either betrayers, confused, trying to not be oppressed, or all of the above). Misogynists also uses misandry to their advantage, painting women/feminist as evil man haters and that they're the ones who support them, taking advantage towards vulnerable young men, especially those who have been abused by or have bad experiences with a woman. An example of this is in Dr Shaym's 'The real reason men are refusing to get married' video where the their was a comment of a man describing the abuse he endured by a woman and ended it with how women were 'an different breed' of how they use to be from the 1980s and before who were 'devoted to their husband and kids' (a time where they would have lack of freedom/agency as people, hence why they were so 'devoted') to now who he describes the average woman now to be greedy, selfish, immature, needy and even can be a devil if they want to. That end of the comment is clearly rooted in misogyny that would've been from misogynists as it's glorification of women's oppression and demonisation of modern women are one of misogynists well known talking points. This isn't to say women cannot complain about men, in fact, they absolutely can especially towards misogynist clearly happy to take away their freedom. What this is saying though, is that we should instead advocate for nuance. And no, not nuance as in 'not all men' whenever women bring up sa or men being creepy.

Its nuance as in instead of saying; 'all men sa women', we should have a discussion of society's coddling of men through the 'boys will be boys mentality' and the toxic masculinity excusing men's predatory behavior because its 'in their nature' to be sexual and sleep with a lot of women, contributing to the problem of sa/sexual violence women go through and how they often get demonised/blamed instead of the perpetrators.

It's nuance as in instead of 'women vs men', its 'us vs the patriarchy', fighting against the crafted gender boxes society puts on us for decades. Reject the black and white, and embrace the grey.

On a last note though, if women dont trust, have fear of or dont want a man in their life, then that's completely fine and valid of them to do, They dont owe men anything and their not misandrists for healing from truama/bad experiences with men and/or creating a comfortable life for themselves. Their just doing their own thing, let them do so. Even if they dont like men, that's fine too. This post is specifically those who say that all men sa people, that their all sexual aggressive deviants, basically saying that their all stereotypes that toxic masculinity expects them to be. It's not towards women who just simply dont like men or not want them in their life at all, again its a valid choice that should be respected even if you wouldn't make that choice yourself.

#anti terf #anti radfem #tw sa mentions #misogyny #misandry #intersectional feminism

[ventbloglite]

Are any other trans people tired that our lives are so heavily dictated by the fact we can't have or enjoy anything? (I know there are.) Want to use the bathroom?

Pass and use the bathroom of your actual gender and there's still that risk that the moment you're found out, violence and maybe even the police again. Don't pass and use the bathroom of your gender and the chances of violence rise dramatically. And it's not like using the bathroom of your agab is any better, considering that passing makes you more likely to be ejected, have the police called on you, or be subject to violence. Not passing might make it a little easier to use your agab's bathroom, but is it worth it for the spiral into gender dysphoric depression it might cause? Not to mention that if you've made any changes to your presentation, you just don't 'pass', there's still the violence. The goddamn violence. Want to have a romantic and/or sex life? Mtf and into men? You can't call yourself a straight woman, you can only call yourself a gay man. Clearly you're a homosexual predator trying to trick straight men. Yes, even if you've had bottom surgery. Just the fact you once had a penis is enough. Mtf and into women? You can't call yourself a lesbian, you are a straight man and that's it, or you're a gay man if you date other trans lesbians. And of course, yes indeed, you are once more a predator. Yes even if you have a vagina. Anyone assigned male has 'is a predator' stamped into their DNA you just can't not be one. And it's not like you can be anything under the bi umbrella or the same issues depending on who you date (I guess, unless they are also under the bi umbrella but people still won't see you as a woman in your realtionships) still apply. And it's not like you can be on the aspec because nobody believes that is real so it's just about thing about your identity to invalidate. It's not like you can just abstain from relationships, just your existence indicates you want to get rid of concepts of both straight and gay and force people to be attracted to people they aren't.

Ftm and into men? You are a mlm fetishising straight woman trying to live out a fantasy, homophobic, and trying to force gay men to not be gay. Ftm and into women? You actually still can't call yourself a lesbian if you insist on identifying as a man at the same, otherwise you're trying to destroy the concept of a female homosexual. Yes even if you have a vagina, which is apparently the issue with mtf people not being able to be lesbians but here isn't enough to make it okay for you to be call yourself a lesbian. You also can't call yourself a straight man because then you're a predatory lesbian trying to make straight women gay by force yes even if you have a penis. In fact the lesbian paradox is so thick you could cut it with a knife as you are both simultaneously a lost lesbian and absolutely cannot be a lesbian you predatory man you.

And yes again, you're not okay if you're under the bi umbrella and you're not okay if you're on the aspec. You just shouldn't exist at all, let alone try and find partners. That's what it comes down to, doesn't it? Don't be or do A but also not B, in a world where A or B is the only option and if there is a C or more it's basically ignored or impossible.

Our entire existence as trans is being done, on purpose, to harm people sexually, destroy hetero and homosexual, make everyone confused, destroy science and any number of perverse things (after all, many TERFs see tucking and packing as fetish/fetish gear). There's absolutely no other reason. We're not people, we're Unpeople. Our happiness is actually a selfish crime we're committing against those who are confident in their agab. And no, it's not messed up that cis people think that and want us all to either die or just disappear. It's absolutely justified.

And this is just two issues of many.

#trans

[stars-in-our-skies]

not anti-lolicon because i hate taboo porn or fiction but some other, more nuanced thing (lolicon as a genre of porn was born out of a right-wing hate campaign towards women and gay people and is directly marketed towards predatory men, and the fact that it is such a prevalent part of japanese media is indicative of their predatory and misogynistic culture that covers up rape and ignores victims, and to say that it's "just fiction" is removing it of that context when that context is absolutely necessary to understand why it's a problem, and it shouldn't be compared to western anti-shipper opinions because they're two entirely different contexts with different purposes and i hate that i can't call myself a pro-shipper despite being pro-all ships because these two viewpoints are often confused for being the same thing even though they arent related, and at this point if you claim to be pro-lolicon i'm just going to assume you're either willfully ignorant of japanese society or a full-blown pedophile regardless of any trauma you may claim to have because i don’t understand how you can see something that is used to uphold a broken part of society and claim that it’s ok for that thing to exist and still want to call yourself a leftist somehow despite your actions saying otherwise)

#cass #yes this was inspired by that other post btw #anti lolisho #and if by somehow i manage to hear from japanese natives that it's something totally different and i have it wrong somehow #then i'll admit my defeat. but until then all signs point to Bad Thing That You Shouldn't Support.

[neighborhoodscorpio]

Okay… in defense of the homewrecker.

The Ariana Grande hate is so crazy. I just feel like you have to be the most unserious person in the world to get worked up and feel the need to say something about a celebrity’s love life. Especially NOW. There are hundreds of abusive, toxic, physically harmful, predatory men in the entertainment industry and you can log on to see nothing but love for them! For FREE! Let alone every literal war happening right now. Yet this woman gets tangled in an affair and I see walls of hate everywhere. I don’t even care if what she did was wrong. I literally don’t. Half that industry should be in prison and y’all are yelling at her.

Let alone all the female artists who have made music very transparently about being The Other Woman… fucking baby daddies… etc etc. I feel as though she’s getting a misogynistic public punishment for presenting as a good girl figure and behaving differently. Weird aspect of the culture where indefensible behavior is more often tolerated when it’s openly shared.

Getting on a feminist high horse about jumping on Ariana Grande is laughable. The contempt for her is sooooo emotionally charged. I’m so surprised and confused by it. It feels like her biggest crime was daring to act like every other baddie while being 5’2” and I’m serious when I say that LMFAOOO… like… The amount of women jumping on it is crazy. They are speaking about feminism to hate on Ariana Grande. Girl we don’t have rights in half the states in the US. Ariana could steal five husbands and her feminist impact would still be greater than your comment. The fact that she did public democratic advocacy during the last election is literally enough to cover it. It’s like every woman feels as though miss Grande stole her man specifically. It’s giving traumatized. And I get that. But…

I have a really really really really hot take about cheating to add. To wrap up the whole topic… since I’ve been flabbergasted seeing the public opinion on every fucking website that I log into… listen. If anyone can steal your man, you should know about it. If you married a pathetic little worm, you should know about it. Instead of living your whole life convinced that your partner isn’t a piece of shit, I think it’s best to see what they’re capable of. My REALLY hot take is that the people who “steal” partners are doing a service. They’re the ones who reveal shitty character. They’re deep in the morally grey, to me.

Even though they might be doing it for self-serving reasons, obviously, there’s still a valuable function there. If a woman ever “stole” a partner from me, I’d thank her, key the guy’s car, and sleep really really well knowing that I’m not counting on someone weak. I wouldn’t even mourn what we had because it wasn’t actually there. If someone can’t even demonstrate a level of certainty with petty shit, I would never want to find out how weak they were in serious situations. Sooooo many men are horrible fucking people. If they cheat in love, they cheat in business, and elsewhere. The double standard is crazy there too. A woman doing romantic crimes is prison worthy. A man assaulting people though… just in his nature.

If anything, I feel bad for the women who actually want the cheating men they pursued. They’ve won a terrible life tournament and don’t even know it. The male validation is so strong, so addicting, that they can’t see the material damage that they’re causing to themselves, let alone OTHERS. If you can’t recognize that as a symptom of patriarchal poison idk how to talk with you about it. Feminism is so shallow in the mainstream that there is NO analysis if a woman’s actions are unsavory. Women hurt women because of men every single day. To be honest, if there wasn’t a baby in the picture, no one would give a shit about Ariana’s actions, and I haven’t seen that point made anywhere, either. An affair is an affair and no one cares. You hurt a woman? Who gives a shit. But now you’ve hurt a BABY? Suddenly the conversation turns into some bullshit about feminism. One of the most vile expressions of patriarchy is valuing a woman’s reproductive capacity more than her personhood, and this is no fucking different. Now that she’s reproduced, she almost deserves personhood. Outrage. Social commentary, even. Again— especially sickening in todays climate.

I just really can’t take y’all seriously. If it pissed you off just say that. But don’t invent a feminist argument to make yourself feel justified for hating Ariana Grande now. From that angle, there is far too much nuance to not make yourself look stupid.

#judge with your whole CHEST #JUST TALK YOUR SHIT.

[kittychosis]

bitches dont understand how weird and confusing it is to grow up a gay gnc girl. i didnt know about gay people but my first relationship was with a woman. i didnt understand it, i still considered myself straight. then i started to realize, i could be with women the way people told me i had to be with men. but i didnt know that was an option. it was confusing. it still is. i didnt realize all these strong friendships i had with girls were actually me pursuing something else. i didnt know wanting to kiss and cuddle your friends was gay. i didnt know i was gay. but i started accepting and experimenting w it. i realized i could pursue women romantically so i did but it was mostly with women who werent interested. boys got interested in me but either forced me to be feminine so i could "look like a girl" or fetishized my masculinity and homosexuality constantly. weird homoerotic tension between me and friends constantly but not wanting to pursue because masculinity is viewed as predatory and i have a huge insecurity abt that. partners wanting me to be a man or be more feminine. men and women and nonbinary people too. i keep getting dragged one way or the other, not many people actually like masculine women. i only feel like i can talk about any of this with masculine women/nonbinary butches. being constantly dragged from so many identies by partners is exhausting and it makes my sexuality and gender exponentially confusing.

[elliebear666]

Damn, so... I just read this and feel a little sick. About the world and myself. Was I like that in this situation?

The reason why myself: My ex was, what, 18 or 19 when we started kind of dating? I don't actually remember, and I was about 6 years older? She was a virgin. But that was the farthest thing from what I cared about.

I thought she was beautiful, and funny, and interesting, and had a dorky, anime weeb personality.

I would have fallen for her if she was my age or older. It was HER I loved, and nothing about her status as a virgin or her being younger than me.

Tbh, I almost didn't want to pursue her because she was younger but my god I was already getting obsessed like I always do... I tried to be a safe place for her to explore herself. She said she wanted me to take her virginity, so I did... I tried to be safe and warm and supportive and i never once pushed her to do anything she didn't want to do. I genuinely loved her...

But idk... did she view me as predatory? This haunts me. It does. I've talked about it in therapy a lot. My therapist doesn't think so, and neither does anyone else I've talked to at length about it...

But I truly and wholly loved her. Her personality, her silly quirks and her forgetting left from right because, everything that made her, her.

I love the person...

But, I completely understand how often the age gap situation can become predatory. I stated in a previous post that I thought it was frustrating that calling older men chasing younger women predatory was wrong.

And... baseline - I still agree. But if a man, or a woman, is chasing someone BECAUSE they are young? That's... that IS a big creepy tbh. It is predatory, most likely.

Because I never chase someone over their age, or their body count, I figure this is more universal than people assume.

But... maybe I'm absolutely wrong on this.

Maybe I'm just projecting and like... all these people are predatory? I just... idk. That doesn't FEEL like the truth?

Someone told me that being sexual with them in the hope that they'd like me was predatory. In his words, "Did you just throw sex at me to lure me into like you?" And the framing? I have languished over this. The thing about this scenario is that...

We were being sexual for a while, and flirtatious. I told him I liked him and we talked and he said we won't be sexual anymore because he didn't want to confuse me - was obsessing and hurt myself over this rejection. But then, a few months later, dude was flirting and being sexual again. So naturally I started getting obsessed again and I told him I loved him lmao and he was like "I was only sexual when I thought it wouldn't lead you on." Bullshit! You KNEW I liked you! You knew I said i needed distance or else I'd try to convince you to like me! I said I would have lmao and you introduced sex into our friendship and then tell me that, when I initiate and be sexual, because I like you AND hope that you like me too and will like me more once you get ro know me, be sexual with me...

And this is predatory? Fucking... idk. Is it? Idk. My therapist says I wasn't. I don't know though.

So... do I regret chasing my ex? Yes. I do. Even though I was madly in love with her, so deeply and wholly and obsessively... I shouldn't have. She was 6 years younger than me. Idk. So many people say that doesn't matter. And I don't think it does either. I mean, I know my feelings and my driving forces for wanting to be with her. She just so happened to also be a super jerk.

I hate myself sometimes. But like... idk, I loved her so fucking much. And I always will in some way, wishing she had been less mean and manipulative, and that I had been less possessive and jealous. Even if she was old and wrinkly lmao I would still love her, fifty years from now. And... now I'll never see her again.

Idk y'all. Got therapy on Thursday so I guess I'll rehash the same shit again