#elite four burgh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spacefinch · 1 year

Text

Pokemon Incorrect Quotes: Unova Edition

Hugh: *handing out smiley balloons* I have no soul. Have a nice day!

Colress: I don't have one either.

Drayden: Let me see what you have!

Iris: A knife!

Drayden: NO!

Cilan: Fun fact! Blueberries are the only fruit named after a color.

Iris: Star fruit?

Cilan: ♥️ So close! That is a shape ♥️

Colresss: Welcome to physics!

*science project explodes*

*screaming*

Hilda: 🎶 ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE 🎶

Hilbert: *banging pots and pans*

Hilda: 🎶 ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY, WILL YOU TELL US THAT YOU’RE OKAY 🎶

Teacher: Uh, Cheren, can you read number 23 for the class, please?

Cheren: No, I cannot. What up, I’m Cheren, I’m 19, and I never fricking learned how to read.

Chili: Hi, welcome to Chili's.

Elesa: Hey, I’m lesbian.

Emmet: I thought you were Unovan.

Clay: I wanna be a cowboy, baby!

Alder: Hell yeah!

Clay: I wanna be a cowboy, baby!

Hilbert: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Cheren: Why are you guys reblogging this in December?

Hilda: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Rosa: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Cheren: It is February, you ANIMALS

Nate: TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN

Emmet: "Average person eats 8 spiders a year" factoid, actually statistical error. Average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave and eats over 10,000 every day, is an outlier and should not have been counted.

Chili: Oh sorry, I fell asleep while I was waiting on you to make me a sandwich.

Cress: Go back to sleep AND STARVE.

Ingo: Perhaps it is the context in which words are spoken that gives them the power of meaning. *yelling* I LOVE YOU, JOLTIK!

Emmet, banging on pots and pans: I DON'T GET NO SLEEP 'CAUSE OF YOU! Y'ALL NOT GONNA GET NO SLEEP 'CAUSE OF ME!

Hilda: Would you like something to drink? *opens fridge* We have water, milk, juice, Joltiks, Dr. Pepper…

Cheren: Joltiks?

Hilda: Joltiks it is, then.

Cheren: Wait, that’s not what I meant—

But she was already pouring him a brimming glass of Joltiks.

Ingo and Emmet: *in the middle of an intense Pokemon battle*

Hilbert: Can I get a waffle? Can I PLEASE get a waffle?

After said battle:

Hilbert, pointing at the losing Pokemon: He need some milk

Ingo: Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does!

Rosa (pointing at a flock of Swanna): Look at all those chickens!

Ingo: *filming in selfie mode*

Emmet: (in background) Bop it! Twist it! Pull it!

Colress (grinning): I'M GOING TO JAIL!

Cheren: Tumblr is just talking to yourself but with an audience.

Cilan: That’s called a soliloquy.

Cheren: Found the theater kid. Get em boys.

Iris: Hey OP, how do we know you’re not a theater kid?

Cheren: I’M AN ENGLISH LIT MAJOR, YOUR HONOR

Cilan: Eating chips with chopsticks is unironically galaxy brain. Your fingers don’t get greasy and it lasts for longer.

Chili: Fork

Cilan: Oh, yeah, I’m going to stab my crunchy foods and make them fall apart like an absolute absentminded dunce, fool, clown, jester, like a monstrous moron, an idiot of Shakespearean proportions, a cretin.

Cress: Um, you seem to forget that ‘chips’ can also mean fries. And that’s probably what he was talking about, haha

Cilan: I did not forget anything. I purposely ignore the idea of using British vocabulary to do my part in helping it die out.

Cilan: KNOWLEDGE is knowing that a tomato is technically a fruit.

Cress: WISDOM is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Chili: PHILOSOPHY is wondering if a tomato is a fruit, does that make ketchup a smoothie?

Cheren: COMMON SENSE is knowing that ketchup isn't a smoothie.

Ingo: I went to the store and bought Quick Oats. The next day, my brother came back with Instant Oats. I will not be humiliated like this. I must now find an even sooner oat.

Hilbert: I hope nobody is evil

Ghetsis: >:)

Hilbert: Oh no

Elesa: Don’t post your negativity on a positive post.

Volkner: Electrons

Elesa: I should kick your ass.

Cilan: Being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. But then there are also the horrors.

Cheren: People who say ‘oof’ and people who say ‘bruh’ contribute nothing to a conversation.

Nate: OOF

Hilbert: BRUH

Ingo: Early to bed, early to rise, Burger King burger with Burger King fries

Skyla: Later to rise, later to bed, Burger King burger on Burger King bread

Elesa: Eat at morning, eat at night, I participate in a Burger King fight

Emmet: I slap my knees, I slap my thighs, tonight is the night that Burger King dies

Cheren: I currently have seven empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them.

Cilan: Put spaghetti in it.

Cheren: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except you.

Bianca: Put spaghetti in it.

Cheren: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except you two.

Nate: Put spaghetti in it.

Cheren: I am no longer taking suggestions.

Roxie: *playing guitar*

*suspicious crashing noises in distance*

Roxie: *plays guitar louder*

Hilbert: Big mood.

Emmet: What does that mean?

Hilbert: Well… it means, me too, I guess.

*the next day*

Ingo: I'm worried about Team Rocket using our subway system.

Emmet: Big mood, brother. Big mood.

Ingo: HILBERT WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

Hilbert: Z is just a sideways N

N: Please stop it

Hilbert: Zo

Elesa: I can't find my earbuds and Target is closed. This is a nightmare.

Burgh: Put a Durant in each ear and they will sing to you.

Elesa: Not a half-bad idea actually.

Emmet: I go to Home Depot

Emmet: I eat the tools

Ingo: Stop it

Emmet: Crumch

Roxie: Is it cheating to teach Toxic to every member of my Pokemon team?

Elesa: Not at all, I'd love to hear them sing it.

Clay: None of y’all know what propaganda actually is, do you?

Hilda: It’s when a British person takes a good look at something.

Elesa: What are you guys going to be for Halloween?

Ingo: Sad

Burgh: Gay

Skyla: Sexy

Emmet: Goblin

Ingo: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds

Emmet: My arms are strong, I would catch you and hug you

Clay: Children, this is dirt.

Nate, Rosa, and Hugh: dirt? dirt? dirt? dirt? dirt?

Hilda: Shoutout to all the people who started saying “same” as a joke once in a while but now use it for the most random things like a car honking their horn at another car.

Cheren: Yesterday a book fell off my desk but instead of picking it up, I just looked at it for a second and said “same”

Hilbert: LOL same

Bianca: Why are we like this?

Cheren: Is there anything better than pussy?

Cheren: Yes, a really good book

Cheren: *plays the keyboard*

Hilbert: Who’s the hottest Uber driver you’ve ever had?

N: Ummm… I never went to Oovoo Javer.

*HAS NEVER WENT TO OOVOO JAVER*

Looker: Where’s the best place to buy fireworks?

Hugh: Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?

Looker: Where are your parents? Kid’s sketchy, back to you.

Emmet: *screams into jar and then screws on the lid* Everything’s fine.

Cilan: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire?

Nate: Microwave for 40 minutes

Cilan: Why were you microwaving a lemon??

Nate: I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges), but I didn’t own any pots.

Cilan: Did you burn an orange too? How??

Nate: Microwave for 40 minutes

Classroom: *silence*

One of the students: turgle turgle

Cheren: WHO TURGLED

Hilda: Hey everyone, today my brother pushed me, so I'm starting a Kickstarter to put him down. Benefits of killing him would be that I get pushed way less—

Cheren: I get that you're angry, but killing Hilbert is not the solution.

Hilbert: When will Ted himself finally show up to the talk?

Bianca: The final boss

Cheren: Guys, you do realize that TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, and Design, right?

Hilda: I will not let Ted hide behind these lies any longer.

Cheren: I love the word methinks. It’s accurate. Me does think. Thinketh me do.

Hilbert: Methinks therefore me am.

Nate (bragging.): I know every digit of pi.

Nate: I don't know what order.

N: He doesn't know what order.

"Hey besties friendly reminder to drink water, feed your lab Rattata, turn off your evil nuclear generator, change out of your dirty lab coat, go for a walk, and take care of yourself!"

“@evilscientist13”

“COLRESS WAKE UP”

“@evilscientist13”

“COLRESS THE REACTOR”

(during a game of Uno)

Ingo: Brother, please, no.

Emmet: I’m sorry. I have to.

Ingo: Please, I’m begging you, after all we’ve been through?

Emmet: I’m sorry. [places a draw 4 card] Uno.

N: Any questions before I move on?

Porygon: *garbled electric noises*

N: ... Great. I really understood that well.

Elesa: This is camp.

Ingo: What does camp mean?

Emmet: Like when something is so yass and slay

Emmet: Do you think Joltiks take fall damage?

Ingo: Emmet, what the heck?

*at Drayden’s home in Opelucid City*

The Pokemon streaming service profiles read as follows:

Drayden: “Person who pays for the account”

Iris: “Granddaughter (Free pass)”

Ingo: “Parasite 1”

Emmet: “Parasite 2”

Cheren: How long does someone have to be dead before it's considered archaeology and not grave robbing?

Lenora: As an archaeologist, I find this a VERY AWKWARD QUESTION.

Cheren: Answer the question, grave robber.

Elesa: Carpe diem— seize the day

Skyla: Carpe noctem— seize the night

Emmet: Carpe natem— seize the ass

Ingo: Seriously, if you guys don't stop reblogging this, I am going to carpe someone's neck and break it.

Grimsley: Carpe collum— seize the neck

Cheren: Not all math puns are bad.

Cheren: Just sum of them.

Roxie: There is so much panic right now and not nearly enough disco.

Elesa: Where do bad rainbows go?

Skyla: …

Elesa: Prism. It's a light sentence.

Skyla: *groan*

Hilda: If you don't know the difference between "their," "they're", and "there", your a idiot.

Cheren: Well, this is awkward.

Hilbert: I was born ready!

Hilda: You were born in Nuvema Town.

Hilbert: When I was your age… (tells Hilda something he did a few minutes ago)

Nate: A theif

Cheren: Thief?

Nate: Theif

Cheren: I before e, except after c

Nate: Thceif

Cheren: No

Hilda: (singing) A potato flew around my room before you came—

Hilda, Hilbert, Cheren, and Bianca: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Hilbert: I'm nuts about these nuts. But you know what I'm also nuts about? My close good friends!

Hilbert: *gestures to Hilda, Cheren, Bianca, Nata, Rosa, Hugh, and N* My close good friends!

Ghetsis: Remember one time I liked you?

N: No.

Ghetsis: Good, because IT NEVER HAPPENED! *evil laugh*

Cilan: Would anyone like some stew? Would anyone like some stew? Would anyone like some stew?

72 notes · View notes