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jaskiersvalley · 1 year

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Modern day Lambert would be a flat earther just to be contrary. He and Aiden have passionate arguments about it, leading to passionate "sword fights".

Geralt used to be a flat earther until he told Eskel there are flat earthers all over the globe and realised what he'd said.

By contrast, Eskel just doesn't care whether the earth is flat or round.

Cahir is a die-hard flat earther. He even manages to convince Jaskier.

#geralt of rivia #eskel #lambert #jaskier #aiden #cahir mawr dyffryn aep ceallach #the witcher #tldr: flat earth theorists and opponents

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jay-arts-t · 1 year

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Making Witcher character stickers for Redbubble, mostly the twn design (save for lambert since his twn design is pretty well liked from my understanding so he’ll have 2 versions)

I am in pain and agony but they’re all turning out really cute so I’m winning

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geraskierficrecs · 11 months

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An Offer You Can’t Refuse Update!

New chapter here.

Teaser:

Jaskier stared at the blank screen and tried to swallow down the bile rising in his throat.

It had been years since anyone had called him by his name. He closed his eyes and fought through the grief and instinctive panic at the reminder of the last night he’d been Julian.

It’s better this way, Julian.

Cahir had sounded almost fond even with the blood dripping from the tips of his claws. Jaskier could still see the reflection of the flames in his eyes.

That boy had deserved to die, he thought now. He’d been a spoiled brat. Weakened by the belief that his world could never be toppled or changed. Julian would never have survived the world outside of his pack. Likely, he would have turned into one of the obnoxious, self-absorbed pricks like the Slater boy.

“What did Geralt say?” Aiden asked, coming up behind him to drop a cup of coffee onto the table beside him. When Jaskier gave him a curious look, the wolf shrugged. “I stole it from the counter because the lady who bought them was rude to another customer.”

Jaskier nodded and took a slow sip to avoid answering immediately. “He doesn’t believe me.”

There was no way to hide the hurt the simple statement caused.

“Did he…say anything about Lambert?” Aiden asked, aiming for casual and missing by a mile.

“No. He didn’t say much.”

Everything you told me was a lie.

“We could try again. Maybe Eskel or Lambert could–”

“No,” Jaskier said, shaking his head and taking a deep breath. “We focus on the plan. Nilfgaard has to burn.”

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continentcakeshop · 1 year

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Reverse casting time!!!! Cakeshop peeps as Witcher characters. Go!!!

ALRIGHT I spent like 2 hours on this and the shenanigans that happened with everyone laughing and helping out... BUT ITS LONG. So it's behind a cut. It's not complete, because oh man I gotta go do errands, but we did our best!

@on-a-lucky-tide is immediately our Eskel @hungarianbee as Erland @lookoutrogue is Coen @major-trouble is the best Valdo ever but countered with @sometimesiwrite as Essi (she LIVES THO) @trickstermoose67 is Ciri ... but @so--many-fandoms is Baby Ciri (from W3, with the freckles) @jayofolympus is Serrit @frenchkey is Auckes @tumbleweedtech I'm claiming Keldar thanks @angry-cajun-lady is Gaetan @lohrendrell is Ivo @thirstyforred is Jacques de Aldersberg @stellecraft is Nenneke @round--robin is Arnaghad @piranhaincaps is Gezras @greenbirddraws is Letho @anonymousblueberry is Ves @cylin-aka-ankamo is Emiel Regis Rohellec Terzieff-Godefroy @liaonyxrayne is Dettlaff @jlyarts is Kiyan @justhereforeskel is Lil' Bleater @justleaf is Iorveth @zzzett is Isengrim @whysowlowl is Philippa @heyriel-art is Vesemir @eyesofshinigami is Shani @lokibus is Geralt (complete with horse pics) @straysinfiltrator is Meve @iboughtaplant is Gascon (she has the BEST boy) @pressedinthepages is Angoulême @jaskiersvalley is Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach obscure potato is Reynard @Towelapocalyse is Aiden @andtosatvrn is Ivar @disaster-imp is Lambert @resident-beekeeper is the beekeeper that Regis thinks is a werewolf? sdorim is an npc who wrote punny letters to Geralt @winter-fir is a farmer NPC. Her rakes are not broken, and if you press X you get an 🍎 And who you've probably been waiting for? @skaldingrayne would be Jaskier.

#cakeshop shenanigans #ridiculously long taglist

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podlaskazazula · 5 months

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Welcome + Informations

Hi, it's Zazula. This blog will be centered around witcher, fantasy and slavic aesthetics + podlasian culture. I will do rants about my thoughts on netflix witcher series, games and books.

I stan:

• CHARACTERS:

WITCHER

Ciri

Shani

Olgierd von Everec

Triss Merigold

WoW

Sylvanas Windrunner

Aegvynn

Queen Azshara

Jaina Proudmoore

• SHIPS

WITCHER

Ciri x Cerys

Ciri x Cahir

Olgierd x Shani

Geralt x Yennefer

Triss x Eskel

Jaskier x Priscilla

Keira x Lambert

Lambert x Aiden

WoW

Sylvanas x Nathanos

Sylvanas x Arthas

Sylvanas x Jaina

Sylvanas x Anduin

Jaina x Arthas

• LOCATIONS:

WITCHER

Toussaint

Vizima

Iorveths camp

WoW

Silvermoon

Stormwind

Howling Fjord

• BOOKS:

WITCHER

Sword of Destiny: A little Sacrifice

Time of Contempt

Lady of the Lake

Season of Storms

WoW

I don't like most of wow books :(

#anti netflix witcher #the witcher books #the witcher games #witcher 3 #the witcher 3 wild hunt #the witcher #witcher series #wiedźmin

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ao3feed-witcher-dddne · 9 months

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by Graymuse42

“White Wolf,” the man rasped as the Witchers stopped just before the table, “I have come to re-” he broke off in a cough, a painful sound that had Triss already out of her seat, hesitating just to the side of the man, ready to help when permitted. “To request asylum,” he continued, pushing off from the guards helping him and sinking to his knees, though whether in submission or pain, Geralt couldn’t be sure. “My name is Julian Alfred Pankratz,” he continued haltingly, struggling to get the words out, “I request sanctuary from Redania and Nilfgaard…” he stopped talking, swaying where he knelt, and Geralt hastily glanced to Eskel for advice.

Or: Geralt's the Warlord, and some random noble (Jaskier) comes walking in, badly injured, before collapsing in the main hall and leaving a FUCK ton of questions in his wake.

Words: 24976, Chapters: 18/?, Language: English

Series: Part 2 of All hell and its fire waits for us

Fandoms: The Witcher (TV)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage

Categories: M/M, Multi

Characters: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Jaskier | Dandelion, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, Eskel (The Witcher), Aiden (The Witcher), Lambert (The Witcher), Vesemir (The Witcher), Triss Merigold, Gweld (The Witcher), Witcher Aubry (The Witcher), Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Vizimir II (The Witcher), Sigismund Dijkstra, Cahir Mawr Dyffryn aep Ceallach, Jaskier | Dandelion's Mother, Jaskier | Dandelion's Father, Priscilla (The Witcher)

Additional Tags: Work In Progress, Temporary Amnesia, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Underage Rape/Non-con, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Character Death, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Slow Burn, Whipping, Torture, Aftermath of Torture, Permanent Injury, Angst with a Happy Ending, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Inspired by The Accidental Warlord and His Pack Series - inexplicifics, Haunting, Ghosts, Enemies to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, Established Relationship

#updated #fanfic #the witcher dead dove

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thedovecollector · 1 year

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The Collector’s Kink List

This is not comprehensive, and will likely change multiple times. And, as usual, Your Kink Is Not My Kink (and that’s okay)

I also, at this time, exclusively write for The Witcher.

Hell Yes: Beastiality (dogs/wolves), con noncon, dubcon, incest, grooming, daddy kink, AOB, knotting, breeding kink, age gap, small cocks, mpreg

Alright: Omorashi/piss kink, non-con (non-violent), beastiality (not dogs/wolves), RPF, monster-fucking - harkness and non-harkness passing, feminization (forced or otherwise), masculinization (forced or otherwise), virginity kink, necrophilia, cockwarming, public sex, pet play, cum inflation, stuffing, eating disorders

Meh: Non-con (violent), blood and gore, cheating, humiliation, sex pollen

No thanks: Spanking, vomit, little space, lactation

Fuck No: Somno, scat, spitting, hanahaki, choking

Yes, I take prompts! Yes, it might take me a while to write them! This is my secondary account. I focus mainly on non-doves right now, just cause that’s where my muses are.

Characters I love to write for: Geralt, Jaskier and/or Dandelion, Aiden, Eskel

Characters I will write: Yennefer, Ciri, Triss

Characters I don’t care for: Lambert

Character I will Not write: Vesemir, Emhyr

Characters I just don’t know/uncategorized: Fringilla, Cahir, lots and lots of game characters

Favorite ships: Geralt/Jaskier, Geralt/Eskel, Jaskier/Aiden, Jaskier/Eskel, Jaskier/Lambert, Jaskier/Yennefer, Jaskier/Ciri, Jaskier/Jaskier, Geralt/Ciri

Not for me ships: Geralt/Yennefer, Geralt/Triss, Eskel/Triss, Eskel/Lambert

Any ship that includes Jaskier includes Dandelion as well, though I write them differently.

#the collector speaks #DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT

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thisstupidrock · 1 year

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I posted 16 times in 2022

That's 8 more posts than 2021!

16 posts created (100%)

0 posts reblogged (0%)

I tagged 16 of my posts in 2022

#the witcher - 10 posts

#wip wednesday - 7 posts

#the witcher aiden - 6 posts

#the witcher netflix - 6 posts

#jaskier dandelion - 5 posts

#the witcher jaskier - 5 posts

#the witcher lambert - 5 posts

#cat witcher aiden - 4 posts

#the witcher fanart - 4 posts

#aiden x lambert - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 43 characters

#the witcher cahir mawr dyffryn aep ceallach

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Wip - Jaskier and Eskel

92 notes - Posted April 29, 2022

#4

See the full post

135 notes - Posted March 28, 2022

#3

Gentle affection- Aiden and Lambert

——————————-

“What’re you-!?”

“It’s called affection”

“Disgusting……do it again”

411 notes - Posted September 22, 2022

#2

What could have been….

...

AAAAAAHHHHHHHhhhhhhaaaaaAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

556 notes - Posted January 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Sleepy Bard - Eskel and Jaskier

654 notes - Posted June 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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jaskierswolf · 2 years

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Last one ;) Modern AU Cahir has always been very serious. He is at a small town market when he sees a stall selling warm, fuzzy hats with animal ears. It's tempting, especially when there's a seriously cute guy manning the stall. But he's too grown up and adult to buy a knitted hat with animal ears. Then another guy returns to the stall with hot dogs, also wearing a silly hat. Judging by their conversation, they're called Lambert and Aiden. Cahir is about to move on and forcefully forget the hats and the lovely couple but there's a solid, warm wall behind him that talks, "You can go touch you know. They're softer than they look. And the hats are nice too. Nice to meet you, I'm Eskel."

awww look at them! WItchers and their Nilfgaardian! Very soft and lovely and fluffy! @jaskiersvalley you spoil me love! 🥰

#the witcher #cahir mawr dyffryn aep ceallach #aiden #lambert #eskel

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all-hail-the-witcher · 3 years

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I’m new to watching Witcher I’d appreciate out of context character description for the Witcher! (So far it’s only Geralt the tiddy man)

special thanks to @kuripon @funkylittlebard and @dapandapod for the helps

geralt: brooding ass man

jaskier: donkey who left his cat on the stove

yennefer: sexy but insane witch

ciri: rip ur eardrums

lambert: snarky angy boi

aiden: Not Dead Cat Man

eskel: tiddy man

renfri: angry pretty girl

vesemir: Dad

stregobor: no beta we die like stregobor fucking should have

triss: nice healing lady

tissaia: sugar mommy

calanthe: nice armor lady with tragic racist flaw

dara: cinnamon roll my beloved

pavetta: screamy bride

cahir: netflix does not equal book

istredd: backstabbing bastard

doppler: ass man two, steal your face bugaloo

fringilla: taboo? what taboo??

roach: best girl

sabrina: tiddy lady

duny: spiky man

mousesack: not impressed by the sad silk trader

chiredean: friendzoned

borch: there's a surprise inside

tea and vea: Not Impressed™

eist: probably gets pegged

filavandrel: luteless and landless

marilka: wants to be a witcher

valdo marx: did not die of apoplexy

djinn: djinny djinn djinn

countess de stael: heartless

geralts sword: having a good time

vilgefortz: magicy stab stab

lil bleater: precious troublemaker baby

filavandrel’s lute: tossing coins to witchers

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bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher · 3 years

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Witcher Characters as Shit I’ve Heard Customers Say pt. 2

Geralt: Wait just a goddamned second! You can take horseback riding lessons at this university!? For credit!? And I haven’t even signed up yet!? Fuck!

Yennefer: Yeah, no. I’m not going to another frat party, not even if it’s Super Smash Bros themed.

Ciri: (knocking on the countertop politely) Hello Ma’am, can you please tell me where you keep the bears that make the toilet paper? I have questions for them.

Jaskier: Have you ever considered, you know, talking to a therapist? Or weed, if therapy is too expensive? I know good therapists and I know good weed, I can help you.

Fanon!Aiden: All my friends are bitches and that’s fine with me; makes me seem nicer, you know?

Lambert: I’ll die in the soup aisle of my local [REDACTED] and that’s fine. Put my obituary on one of the labels: Here lies some asshole who really wanted soup.

Eskel: Do I have siblings? Yes. Do I pretend not to know them in public? Also yes.

Triss: No amount of flirting or free drinks will ever convince me to sleep with someone named Harold.

Renfri: Check out my sweet moves! (tries to do the moonwalk, slips, falls on her ass in the produce dept.) Sick, right?

Dara: I just... (heavy sighing) I just don’t want such a chaotic narrative arc, you know? let me be a side character. Let me Vibe in peace.

Cahir: No matter what I do, no matter how I try, I cannot convince myself that a live action Disney movie about rats would be a bad idea.

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jaskiersvalley · 2 years

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Hey there how are you? 😘 I just wanted to drop a note to say that I read your little Lambert fics on Ao3 and I... I'm in love, seriously. If you write more in the future they'll be most welcome ❤️ I think you write Lambert and Eskel (and Aiden) beautifully. Thanks for sharing these, they really made my day (getting up at 6am sucks).

We'll pretend this didn't take me probably about a year to get to, my apologies. But! Inspiration has finally struck. Hopefully you haven't had many early starts since you sent this ask. <3

One of Those Days

Some years weren't kind. In Lambert's case that was a bit of an understatement for what he'd endured. Very early on he and Aiden had to separate and they just never quite managed to meet up again. Lambert hadn't been able to find Eskel either. Curse the vastness of the Continent and the scarcity of witchers. So he'd struggled through shitty villages with even shittier contracts until he could drag his sorry arse up the mountain to Kaer Morhen.

Thankfully Eskel was already there, ready to welcome him with open arms and an open bed. For the first night they simply rejoiced in reuniting. But they both knew what Lambert, and Eskel too, needed. The following day found them back in their familiar roles. There was even a sinfully soft pillow filled with what had to be down taken from ducks bred for royal bedding. It was the perfect size to prop against Eskel and lean against, supporting Lambert's neck exactly as he needed. Alas, despite the rest of a good night, food and being home, Lambert couldn't settle. He fussed, kicked his blanket down, squirmed huffed in annoyance. The soft wolf's ear was gnawed with sharp teeth rather than sucked on until Eskel pried it from his grip. At which point Lambert started in on his thumb. All too soon it was bleeding and when Eskel tried to pull it away, Lambert whined and growled at him.

"What's the matter?" Even Eskel's patience was running thin. Alas, Lambert couldn't put it into words. Usually just snuggling in against Eskel was enough to soothe. This time though, he wasn't enough. It had nothing to do with missing Aiden. There was an invisible weight pressing down on Lambert, making him need to move to be able to breathe. The softness of his clothes felt near enough painful, nothing quieted his mind. Frustration won out and the soft toy went sailing across the room with a garbled yell.

For a moment everything was frozen, Lambert shaking with his swirling emotions. He knew he shouldn't be acting like he was, venting all his useless frustration on Eskel and ruining what was meant to be a good time for them both. But there was Lambert, making a mess of everything. Like he'd made a mess of his year on the Path. Had probably even drive Aiden away, hadn't been able to find Eskel because he didn't want to be found. It was all Lambert's fault and now he was being an ungrateful brat on top of it all. No wonder Eskel was nudging him to sit up. He was going to leave, just like everyone else had because Lambert wasn't worth it. So caught up in his spiral of negativity, Lambert didn't look up at Eskel, didn't want to see him leave.

"Come along then." The words made no sense but drew Lambert's attention. Eskel was stood in front of him, a hand held out with two fingers outstretched. Uncertain, Lambert reached and curled his fist round the two fingers and got to his feet. Not understanding what was going on, he clutched at the fingers like a lifeline, appreciating how he could let go at any moment without needing to fight for his freedom. It made him want to stay closer to Eskel.

They padded quietly through the halls, Lambert shuffling more than actually taking steps like he usually would. But Eskel didn't comment on it, took a slow pace. Eventually they ended up in the baths. Hesitant, Lambert stopped in the doorway, not sure what was going on.

"It's okay. I've got you. Trust me." Words that were said so easily and Lambert so desperately wanted to believe. Yet the mean little voice in his brain was scoffing and ridiculing it all. Almost despite himself, Lambert stepped into the room and the door swung shut behind him.

Gentle fingers helped him undress until both he and Eskel were naked. At which point Lambert thought he knew what was coming. Boy was he wrong. While he knew Geralt and Jaskier had sex mixed into their play, Lambert and Eskel kept the two firmly separate. Somehow Lambert had anticipated that line now blurring yet all Eskel did was hold out two fingers to be taken again.

"This way."

He pulled them into the darkest corner of the room where some of the hottest pools were. They were definitely what Lambert preferred but rarely indulged in because he didn't like being alone in them. But neither Eskel nor Aiden enjoyed the heat. And yet Eskel was wading into the steaming pool, gesturing for Lambert to join him.

Standing face to face, Eskel smiled softly. "Am I okay to hug you?"

Wide eyed, Lambert nodded and was enveloped in a hug that felt like coming home. Sure, Eskel had hugged him when he got back, in the morning and at any other opportunity he could use as an excuse. Yet until that moment they hadn't felt quite right. Lambert sagged into it and whined as a broad hand stroked over his back.

"There you are." Eskel's words were a deep rumble and Lambert tucked his face into the crook of his neck. The hand drifted lower and, without having to say anything, Lambert knew what Eskel wanted. His legs wrapped around Eskel's waist, arms around his shoulders. Large hands grasped him under his thighs, taking the weight. Slowly, Eskel swayed them through the water, heedless of the fact he was sweating and probably uncomfortable. But for Lambert it was perfect. Not one bit of him was cold, not even his heart. Skin against skin with Eskel, being held like he was something precious despite how all his own beliefs and experiences suggested otherwise, Lambert finally settled. He nuzzled against Eskel's neck and his chewed thumb found its way into his mouth.

They stayed in the pool, slowly rocking in the half dark until the door opened.

"Found you!" Aiden cooed. Only he wasn't alone. "I've been back for a whole half an hour and haven't had my beloveds in my arms. Well, two of them."

Lambert's head popped up at that and he looked at the stranger shifting nervously behind Aiden. The arms around him tightened as Eskel looked too. Unperturbed, Aiden pressed on, "Lambert, I think you'll get on perfectly with Cahir. And Eskel, you and I have a playdate to arrange."

#lambskel #lambert/eskel #lambert x eskel #eskel/lambert/aiden #eskel x lambert x aiden #lambert #eskel #aiden #cahir mawr dyffryn aep ceallach #the witcher #little lambert #caregiver eskel #tldr: lambert has a bad day and can't settle

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witcherbigbang · 2 years

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Steal Your Breath

Author: JaskiersValley

Artist: theoutspokenrodent

Rating: E

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Word Count: 20,737

Pairings: Aiden/Cahir/Eskel/Lambert, Geralt/Jaskier

Tags: Professional Mermen, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Disabled Character, Wheelchairs, Get Together, Disabled Cahir,Blow Jobs

Summary:

What do you call a group of professional mermen? If anyone asked Lambert, he'd answer it's an orgy. Or, more specifically, a foursome because that's what he ended up getting out of it while Geralt learned to leave his tail behind in favour of two legs and a boyfriend.

Link to Fic | Link to Art

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mrsarnasdelicious · 2 years

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Post a 🌹 in the askbox for a short Witcher Valentines drabble.

Feel free to specify which character.

#The Witcher #Eskel #Lambert #Geralt #Jaskier #Coen #Dijkstra #Filavandrel #Aiden #Triss Merigold #yennefer von vengerberg #Cahir #tissaia de vries

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ohnomybreadsticks · 3 years

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Bready, my beautiful friend. I've already forgotten the number (maybe 4?), the one that's "you stole the best years of my life, I'll give them back". Could you work your magic and give it a happy ending with Cahir and one (or more) of the usual suspects please? I'll even remember to sign off this time! All my love, Socks

Socks, my sweet wonderful friend, thank you for enabling me like always ❤️❤️You were also very correct about the number, it was 4! Hope you enjoy some softness with our favorite boys 😘

You stole the best years of my life, I’ll give them back - Lambert/Eskel/Cahir/Aiden

(Rated T, canonverse-ish (as usual fudging canon I only know about via wikis lmaooo), established relationship, emotional hurt/comfort, caring partners, canon-typical Witcher abuse, sad backstory with happy ending)

---

Cahir didn't really have much of his life that he could look back on with fondness or pride. A stuffy childhood upbringing, military service, chasing a girl who had just lost her entire family across half the continent... None of it was particularly nice or fun. He didn't have any 'best years of his life' to reminisce about, not until he met his partners. In a way it was sad, really, or it would have sounded sad if he had told it to any normal person. Cahir couldn't bring himself to mind too much, especially after he found out what his Witchers had endured.

Orphaned or sold off by their own parents, brutally experimented on, run through a gauntlet of demanding teachers who used the stick far more than the carrot, and then treated like monsters even as they fought every day for their lives. It was enough to give Cahir nightmares, and he hadn't even been through any of it. The day he fully realized everything his partners had been through was the day he decided he was going to make sure they had the best years of their lives starting right then and there.

Cahir was only one man, sure, but he could still make a difference in little everyday ways. Holding his partners close at night when they cried out, fingers carding through soft hair and lips murmuring soft reassurances. Ensuring that they had good, full meals on their plates to keep them strong and healthy on the Path. Offering them all the intimacy they'd been taught was out of their reach, hands gently twining their fingers together when they walked through town. Pressing kisses to scarred cheeks just to see those gorgeous smiles emerge on shy faces.

It wasn't always easy, but Cahir was sure this was the work he had always been meant to do. He could shoulder any burden for the sake of the men he loved, who filled his heart with so much warmth and light.

(And who, without Cahir noticing, had begun to do the same for him. The past was no competition to see who had it worse, but his three Witchers had certainly turned 'see who can make Cahir smile the most' into one they all reaped rewards from.)

#Witcher #the witcher #lambert/eskel/cahir/aiden #bready's fic #bready's song prompts

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hadeantaiga · 3 years

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I finally finished my Fisstech & Succubi prompt. Real life family issues, the end of the semester, and research needs all took priority right as April hit, unfortunately.

#fisstech and succubi #eskel #lambert #aiden #cahir

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