#even then i love Olive AND Popeye just as much as Bluto so it all evens out. but Bluto is such a fun character because of how just. utterly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ambivalent-anarchy · 4 years

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Star Wars 101 (Ch. 2) Episode IV - A New Hope

Masterlist

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Wow, I didn't realize how much I'd written until I hit the tumblr limit. Hope you like it! Comment your thoughts!

Chapter Summary: Steve just wants to do his job, the avengers are the best wingmen, Scott doesn't like porn, and [y/n] thinks all nerds are freaky

~~~

sci-fi boi: okay which cartoon rivalry was better?? Popeye the sailor man and Bluto or Tom and Jerry?

crackhead [y/n]: dude.

crackhead [y/n]: how is that even a question??? Obviously Tom and Jerry lol

sci-fi boi: explanation pls

crackhead [y/n]: popeye and bluto were always fighting over that girl olive and some other stupid crap but with my two furry buddies it was no talk pete no discussions just murder attempts ON SIGHT. Tell me they don't go harder than any other rivalry

sci-fi boi: haha truuuu

~~~

"Are we boring you, Queens?"

Peter's head snapped up quickly, discreetly turning his phone off underneath the meeting table. "Um-huh? No no no, Mr. Rogers I'm listening. Sorry."

Steve shook his head and continued to speak as he pointed to the pictures on the screen at the end of the room. All of the Avengers of Earth were there, some half asleep, while the others either joked or listened intently.

In two short days, they were going to be taking back powerful tech that Martin Li(aka: Mr. Negative)'s "demons" had stolen from Stark Industries. A simple "get in and get out".

They'd known this plan for some days now, yet Steve insisted on calling meetings to go over it again and again.

Feeling a quick vibration go off in his hand, Peter instinctively looked back down at his phone to see a snapchat text notification from you.

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible🐝...

~~~

Peter shook his head slightly as he chuckled, a smile shamelessly creeping onto his face.

~~~

sci-fi boi: did you really just quote the bee movie at me???😂😂

~~~

"Hey spidey-boy, would you mind sharing to the class what's so hilarious?" Rhodey's voice rang out loud and clear from across the table.

Quick as lightning, Peter turned his phone off and buried it in between his thighs, realizing that he hadn't been as quiet as he'd thought. To his luck, everyone’s eyes were trained on him now.

“It's n-nothing!” Peter squeaked, his voice breaking embarassingly. He shoved his phone into his pocket in fear of someone snatching it from him.

Natasha rolled her eyes and smirked. "So what're you looking at down there?"

"I-i, uh, I was just um, w-watching a funny- very funny video actually-"

"C'mon guys!," Sam laughed, clapping his hands together. "Don't tease the kid. We all know what he was smiling at down there!"

At that, Peter practically choked. "WHAT?!"

Tony snickered. "Personally, I don't think two inches is something to be proud of, but alright."

Peter's eyes widen, nearly falling out of his skull by the looks of it. "I-it's not two inches a-and I wasn't looking at-!"

"Jesus christ, guys..." Bruce sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "He was obviously just doing something on his phone. Leave the poor guy alone."

Peter coughed as he saw Steve glare at him with that infamous 'Im Captain America and Im judging you' glare. Phones weren't allowed in the meeting room. Well, they weren't supposed to be. No one ever really followed that rule except Peter. But he'd already been so deep in his conversation with you that he just couldn't put his phone down. "No no, um, I wasn't.. I was just zoning out, y'know, and I just happened to be looking-"

"-at your phone?," Steve cut in to ask.

"-at your dick," Rhodey stated at the same time.

"-at porn," Tony said with an all-knowing smile, causing everyone at the table to turn towards either him or Peter, whose face was beet red with embarrassment.

"Peter please tell us you weren't watching porn," Scott begged, his jaw completely dropped. "I mean, no judgment but-"

"Full judgement, actually," Clint corrected, an extremely disturbed look on his face. "Seriously, what were you doing, kid? You gotta tell us now with all these assumptions being thrown around."

"Curious," Thor stated, leaning back in his chair. "What is porn?"

"Something that I definitely WAS NOT watching!," Peter responded as he practically slammed his face into the table and slapped his hands over his eyes. "Does it even matter what I was doing anyway?," he mumbled into the table.

Natasha raised an eyebrow, blowing the smoke off of her coffee. "People usually aren't this defensive when they're telling the truth, Peter."

Peter shrunk into his seat with a loud groan. Can I die. Can I please just die. Like why am I seriously even alive right now??? Some bad guy please just burst through the door and maim me please.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y. pull up Parker's phone," Tony commanded once the commotion in the room died down.

Peter quickly lifted his head. "Wait, what?!"

"Accessing Peter Parker's mobile device, sir," F.R.I.D.A.Y. responded. "Would you like for me to transfer the screen to the meeting board?"

Tony looked back with a laugh to see a frozen, slack-jawed Peter. He turned back around. "Yeah sure, F.R.I.D.A.Y., what the heck let's have fun."

"No wait- are you seriously hacking into my phone right now?!"

"Well why're you so tense, Parker?," Sam asked teasingly. "Thought you had nothing to hide?"

"I-i don't!," he stammered. "I-it's just..." he trailed off, looking for the right words to say. "..that's my private property," he said lamely while staring at the wall.

Tony stared back at him. "Well that's the dumbest excuse I've ever heard." He pointed towards the board. "Alright it's coming up."

Scott closed his eyes. "Oh God, please don't be porn.."

Peter rolled his eyes. Everyone else looked to the large board, fully expecting to see either porn or just some stupid game the boy had been playing.

But none of them expected him to be texting a girl.

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: hey u still there?

~~~

"Who's crackhead [Y/N]?," Natasha asked.

Scott turned to Rhodes who was sitting on the side of him. "Is that some trashy porn star?," he whispered.

"Why're you asking me like I know?"

"It's this girl from school.." Peter answered, blushing profusely.

"And you like her," Natasha noted, watching his body language intently.

The boy's eyes widened. "N-no I don't!"

"Why crackhead though?," Rhodey asked, crinkling his nose.

Peter shrugged. "That's what she wanted her name to be," here responded. "Thought it was funny."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Just like you thought 'sci-fi boi' was funny?" Shaking his head, he changed focused. "Guys, are we gonna get back to work or not?"

"Not," Tony answered as he scrolled up all the way to the beginning of the messages from early that morning. "So, you've been texting this girl today off and on since..." He checked the time. "Five in the morning?"

Clint chuckled. "Oh yeah, huge crush."

“No!” Peter protested, his voice an octave too high. Realizing that it isn’t working, he decided to try a different technique. Clearing his throat, he tried to sound and act as nonchalant as possible. “She’s just a friend from school.”

"She's first on your best friends list, even over that computer kid you practically live with. And you and her practically snap each other nonstop."

Peter scratched his nose. "W-well that's only cuz Ned doesn't like to text much."

Bruce took his glasses off and sighed, realizing there was no way this meeting was getting back on topic. "Look Pete," he said. "Friends don't do that. I've seen it all before. If you and this girl are talking on a daily basis all throughout the day starting at five in the morning?" He titled his head in a suggestive way, though Peter stared back at him blankly.

"What?," Peter asked.

"Oh my God, kid," Bruce sighed.

Tony held his head back and laughed. "It means either she likes you and your just too dense, you like her but won't admit it and she's just concerningly nice, or you both like each other and just won't make your moves!"

Sam, who hadn't lifted his eyes from the board the entire time, spoke up. "And judging by these texts, you already got her, it's just not official yet."

Tony kept scrolling. "You two went to winter formal together?"

"Yeah... but as friends," Peter said with a shrug.

Steve cleared his throat loudly, gaining the attention of everyone in the room at once. He looked at Peter who was doing everything here could not to look him in the eye. "Look, as much as I would love to talk about Peter's sad love life, we have a mission-"

"-that will still be there tomorrow, Cap," Bucky finished for him. "C'mon we've been going over this stuff for hours. Let us have this distraction."

Everyone looked to him, Tony feigning a puppy dog expression. Crossing his arms, he left the room. "Fine, but when someone gets hurt because they didn't know where they were supposed to go, don't blame me."

"...literally no one's ever blaming you, man," Sam said.

Suddenly, the screen lit up and F.R.I.D.A.Y. spoke. "Sir, Peter Parker has a new message."

Everyone looked to the board. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Scroll down, Mr. Stark. Scroll down!," Peter yelled frantically. "What's she saying?"

Natasha smirked. "And you're sure you don't like her, Peter?"

His face flushed. "Okay fine...I might have a tiny crush-"

"I'm sorry I can't hear you," Tony cut in. "Can you say that agai-"

"-I SAID YEAH I REALLY LIKE THIS GIRL!," Peter finally yelled with his eyes squeezed shut. He kept them closed for about twenty seconds afterwards, afraid of the judging faces he would see if he opened them.

He carefully opened his eyes to see all of the avengers (minus Cap) staring back at him with stupid smiles and smirks on their faces.

"Well, that's all I needed to hear," Tony said. He clapped his hands together. "Okay everybody, first order of business, checking the text. Sam, you're our reader."

"Got it."

"What?," Peter yelled, reaching for his phone. Tony dodged him and gave it to Sam. "Mr. Stark, I can text a girl on my own. I don't need help."

"Nat, you're our timer. Make sure none of the responses take longer than a minute. We don't want the girl to get bored and go on to something else."

"Check."

"Mr. Stark, c'mon-"

"Sam, you explain stuff to lightning head over here if he doesn't understand it. This could be learning moment for ole Shakespeare. Thor, you listen to Sam."

"Right."

"On it."

"Everyone else, you're with me. We gotta find the perfect thing to say to this girl. I've got a feeling this is probably the only chance he's gonna have to get a girl in a long time."

Rhodes, Scott, Clint, Bruce, and Wanda looked to each other and nodded.

"And Pete?"

Peter raised his head. "Yes sir?"

"You know this girl more than anybody here does, so you tell us if what we say is appropriate for her or not."

Peter rolled his eyes and nodded. After all, what's the worst that can happen?

Tony pointed to Sam. "Okay, read it."

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: u going to flash's party on saturday??

~~~

"She wants to know if the kid's going to some party Saturday."

Tony turned to the boy. "You're going," her demanded.

Flash was the most popular douchebag in school. Totally rich and totally rude and totally determined to use his every breath to spite Peter. "I wasn't even invited," Peter mumbled, shooting a glare towards Sam when he heard him laughing.

"Well get invited," Tony ordered. "A party is the perfect place to make a move. Send yes."

~~~

sci-fi boi: yes

~~~

"Mr. Stark, how am I supposed to get into this party? Flash hates me! And if I crash it and Flash sees me, he's gonna make sure everyone thinks I'm a loser!"

Tony rolled his eyes and sighed. "Peter we're trying to help you here. Figure that part out on your own."

Peter sighed, leaning forward in his chair. The last thing he wanted was another assignment, even if it wasn't actually an assignment. On the plus side, he'd get to see you, and maybe have some fun if he actually tried to enjoy himself.

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: cool so i guess ill go too

~~~

Rhodey chuckled while shaking his head. "Kid, if you don't ask this chick out the second you see her again, I'm gonna bodyslam you."

Peter frowned. "What do you mean?"

Bruce smiled. "Whether or not she went to the party was depending on if you were going," he pointed out.

"This girl used to be like that with me back in college," Scott said with a shrug. "Thought she liked me. Turned out she just had social anxiety..."

"Yeah you're really not helping this, bugman," Tony said.

"Wait, you guys think [Y/N] actually likes me back?," Peter asked, getting groans and laughs in return.

"Where have you been the last few minutes?," Natasha said.

"We've literally been saying that this entire time," Sam deadpanned.

Peter stared at his feet below the table. If the team was right, and you did actually like him back, then the movie marathon he was planning was the perfect excuse to hang out with you. "I-i think I might have a plan!," he rushed out, his head flying up. He pointed to Sam. "Ask her if she's free tonight!"

"Yes!," Thor yelled, his fists pumped into the air. "The spider child has grown his man balls!"

"Now that's what I'm talking about." Sam nodded approvingly as he texted.

~~~

sci-fi: r u free tonight??😉

~~~

"Wait hold on," Peter said, suddenly rushing towards the phone in a frantic manner. "Why is there a winking emoji?! I didn't say anything about a winking emoji!"

Sam raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were flirti-"

Peter groaned. "Delete it, man. Delete it before her bitmoji pops up!"

"Okay okay, dang kid," Sam chuckled, quickly deleting the text and replacing it with one without a winking emoji. "There. And ya girl didn't even see it."

"Hey guys," Scott said. "I know we're all freaking out and stuff. But honestly, I'm just glad he wasn't watching porn." He shrugged. "So no matter what happens with this girl, today's still an absolute win."

It went on like this for a solid thirty minutes.

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: yeah wassup

sci-fi boi: wanna come over and watch movies?

crackhead [y/n]: sure what're we watching

sci-fi boi: we can decide that when u get here. how about 4??

crackhead [y/n]: alright sure

~~~

"Okay, last thing," Tony said. "We need a sly compliment. Something not that special about her, but enough to show her that you're tuned in. Gets them every time, trust me."

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Wow, lady-killer."

Tony pointed towards her and shrugged. "She said it, not me."

Thor looked to Peter. "So, young spider. What have you observed about your darling love?"

Peter blushed, almost wanting to comment on the Thor's word choice but ultimately deciding not to. "Well, um, her eyes light up a lot when she gets excited and it's really dorky in a cute kind of way I guess," he mumbled, scratching his head.

"Alright I got it," Sam said, typing the words in. He lifted his shoulders into a shrug. "Who knows, kid? There be some hope for you."

~~~

sci-fi boi: btw how do you get ur eyes to sparkle so bright when u get happy about stuff? Just thinking about it lol its cute

~~~

Peter blew out a shaky breath as he looked back over the set-up he'd made in the living room.

He'd cleared out space to build a super huge homemade blanket fort and inside it at the end was his tv. Towards the middle were all of pillows he could find inside the house and at the other end were snacks. All around the inside were fairy lights because he knew you liked them, though personally he found them cliche.

He spent about an hour on the whole set and an additional thirty minutes stressing over and making sure everything was safe (with all three fairy lights and tv cords). The last thing he needed was for the both of you to catch on fire while watching the movie.

The two of you were going to be watching Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (or as normal 'not-nerds' like to call it, "the first one"). Of course, he hadn't told the team that. If they'd known what movie he'd planned on showing her, high chances are they wouldn't have even let him out of Avengers tower. But if Peter was gonna be forced to hang out with someone (not that he was really complaining), he would at least pick the film.

Finally checking all the boxes in his head for the night, Peter went to go check the DVD before he heard your knock at the door.

"Coming!," he yelled, quickly chucking the disc into the DVD player. He ran to the door and opened it with an awkward smile. "Uh, hey [Y/N]."

"Hey," you said back, already sort of blushing. "How's it going?"

Peter stared. Are your eyebrows done or are they just naturally that nice? He found his voice after abruptly noticing that he was staring. "Uh-well. It's been going great! How's it going for y-you also as well?" He frowned. "I-i mean, what's been going on with your life lately? No, that's dumb. I meant-"

"Peter, Peter! Calm down, dude," you giggled. "I've been fine."

"Oh," he chuckled. "That's good... d-do you wanna come in?"

"Question. What're we watching, Peter?," you asked, a smile playing on your face. Considering what you remembered from the last time you were at his house, and the fort you could get a peek of from the doorframe, you figured it was special for the nerdy boy. Plus his shirt had Yoda on it.

Freakin' Star Wars.

Immediately, a wide grin spread across his face. "Remember what you promised me we'd watch?"

You rolled your eyes, stepping past him into his living room. "Yeah yeah, whatever. Time to get nerdy I guess."

"Come on, you'll love it,"Peter said, quickly closing the door behind them and then briskly running towards the fort to hold up the side blankets for you. "So, snacks and drinks are beside us. We'll chill on these blankets here. And...um, yeah. That's about it." After stepping outside for a bit to go turn off the lights(for the full "movie theater" experience), Peter laid down on his belly, reaching for the DVD player to press play.

You watched as he fumbled with the wires, making sure the DVD player was plugged in before turning it on. Has your jawline always been that sharp?

You couldn't quite place it, but his texts from before seemed.. weird. But not a bad weird at all. A good, intriguing weird.

And that compliment was pretty nice, but odd for Peter. Sure, he complimented you often, but it just felt different this time. Usually it'd be something like, "new dress?" or "nice shoes". But never "you're eyes sparkle when you get excited." Heck, you didn't even know that about you. Was he paying attention? Did that mean he-

You remember how he acted about Liz Allen and Michelle Jones. Always staring. Never able to even say a full sentence in front of them without stuttering up a storm.

But he was so comfortable about you for the most part. You were just a friend.

"Okay got it," Peter said, laughing excitedly as the screen in front of him lit up. He scooted back to where you were sat. "Prepare to have your mind blown."

The Fort quickly became dark as the Lucasfilm logo shined on the screen.

"I seriously dou-"

"Shhh!," he cut you off. "Wait for it..."

You gave him a look but joined him in his silence to see what he was waiting for.

BUMMMMM buh buh bummmm

Practically jumping on top of him, you flinched at the loud and sudden music. "Crap dude! Turn it down!"

Peter shook his head, reaching for a soda. "You have to get the full effect, [Y/N]!," he laughed. "Just embrace it." He began to sing with the music and mime crazy gestures as if he were directing an orchestra.

Duh duh duh DUH DUHHHHHHHH

Halfway through he stopped and recited the opening crawl, his eyes glued to the screen with a sort of focus that made you sure that not only was this not foreign to him, he probably did this every other week.

"It is a period of civil war," he mumbled, throwing some popcorn into his mouth. "Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic- [Y/N] you have to watch the words, I swear it'll make the whole experience better." It went on for a little while longer until he paused the movie and looked over at you, cowering a bit. "D-do I have something on my face?"

"Huh? Nah you're good," you said, realizing he'd noticed you staring. "It's just-" you remembered his text from earlier. "-you got really excited... It-um..it was cute."

Because of the darkness(the only lighting being from the tv), you couldn't see if Peter blushed or not, but you could clearly see the stupid grin plastered on his face that he was trying to hide from you with his hand. Repeatedly licking his lips as a desperate attempt to stop smiling as he pressed play on the remote control. "A-ah, um, thanks [Y/N]."

The opening crawl was over and soon the movie actually began, showing a huge spaceship.

"That's the imperial star destroyer," Peter whispered, never taking his eyes off the screen. "They belong to the empire." He saw your blank expression, wide eyes as he realized that meant nothing to you. "Uh, the bad guys."

You squinted your eyes at the screen, silently judging the graphics of the energy blasts- space bullets?- or whatever they were supposed to be. "Pete, when was this movie made?"

"1977."

"Oh okay," you said, deciding to give it some leeway for the trash designs.

You scooted a little closer to your friend, figuring you'd get a little bit more comfortable.

Oh how he wished you hadn't done that.

Nothing like actual, physical contact with a girl that you like and you think she might like you back to actually manage to distract you from one of your favorite movies ever.

He froze, not wanting to pull away and offend you, but definitely not wanting to stay because just being this close to you was making his mind run wild.

Does she actually like me back? What if Mr. Stark and the team only said that to get me to make a fool of myself? She's too comfortable with me. She just sees me as a friend. Or maybe she likes me and she's just really chill about it? Ooh my gosh and she's leaning on me right now. What am I 'sposed to do?? I don't know I don't know I don't know!!!!!!!!!

Deciding for a quick compromise, he got up completely to reach for another soda, though his sprite was still half finished. When he sat back down, he wasn't as close. Hopefully, you'd just see it as natural human behaviour and not him wanting to be away from you.

Course you would see it that way, wouldn't you?

"Oh my gosh I recognize someone! That's R2D2, right?!" You pointed wildly, glad to not be completely clueless for once with this nerd crap.

"Yeah that's R2," Peter responded, letting out a secret sigh of relief, thankful for the distraction.

"A-and that's that gold dude!"

"Yeah, C-3PO."

"And oh crap that's Princess Leia!," you shouted. "Fucking feminist icon!"

Peter tilted his head. "Wait, how would you know that if you've never watched this?"

You laughed. "I still have access to the internet, doofus! Scroll down the nerdy feminist side of tumblr and Leia is literally everywhere."

Peter chuckled as he finally finished his sprite. "Okay. Valid."

Since that, you stopped talking for a bit. Part of you actually did figure that since you're here, you might as well actually try to enjoy the movie and maybe find out what the fans actually see in it that makes them like it so much. The other part just really didn't want to annoy Peter while he was watching his favorite movie series.

But sometimes you just have to say something.

"Hold up, wait. Isn't that his sister? Oh my God, Pete I swear somebody told me before that Leia was Luke's twin!"

Peter shrugged while nodding. "Well, that's a bit of a spoiler, but yeah. What about it?"

"Oh my gosh, Pete- what about it?! Dude, he's literally making 'fuck me' eyes at his own sister! He's all like, 'ooh you're so sexy I'm gonna bone you all over the galaxy'. That's freaky!"

You grabbed the remote and began to rewind it.

"C'mon now [Y/N]," he explained. "He didn't call her sexy. He said she was beautiful. Sexy is wayyy different from beautiful. You can think your family members are beautiful can't you?"

You paused it once you got to where you wanted.

"Okay Parker, look at that. Look at that and tell me Lukes's not totally undressing her with his eyes!" You pointed at Peter's face with a goofy smile on yours. "Oh wow, I've finally figured you people out now."

Peter's head cocked to the side. "Figured out what?"

"Star Wars nerds are a bunch of horny kids that like that step-sibling porn stuff but can't watch that in front of their parents so they have to use an alternative!"

Peter fell on his back with laughter, practically rolling around like a pig. "[Y/N], what?!"

You gave him an incredulous look. "Who else likes to see two siblings bang each other, Peter?!"

At that he pointed back at you while picking up his other soda. "To be fair, they never do that with each other. They only kiss, like twice and that's it. And one of them is only to make Han Solo mad."

"Oh yeah, I forgot about the Han Solo guy. Where is he anyway?"

Peter smiled. "Well, we're only twenty mintues in. He'll come soon."

To tell the truth, Peter really didn't even know what part you were at. His eyes were watching the screen but nothing was being comprehended. The only thing he could manage to think about was all the tiny things that were going on over on your side of the fort. Did you notice him staring? Was Tony right and you were just concerningly nice?

"I love how everybody at this bar is so chill south everything that's happening. It's like oh wow this guy just shot this green dude at table 8 and nope we totally don't care," you joked, pulling Peter out of his trance. He reminded himself that he should probably try to pay more attention. He didn't want to ruin the movie for you in case you had any questions.

But eventually, like all things do, the movie came to an end.

"So, how'd you like it?," Peter said while neither one of you made a move to leave the dark fort. You were laid out in practically a starfish-type position while he was sitting Indian-style.

You smirked. "I'll admit, it was pretty nice for a movie made in 1977. Still a bit lame though," you teased, pinching your fingers together with a giggle. Suddenly, you gasped. "Ooh, Vader was pretty lit though! Just straight force-choking people who disagree with you is such a power move."

Peter rolled his eyes and scoffed lightly. "Typical..."

"Excuse me?"

He bit back a quick smile. "Look, I'm not saying that Darth Vader isn't awesome. Because he is! Totally and completely but [Y/N], you do realize that in literally every movie we watch you like the villains?," he said, raising an eyebrow.

"Because the villains are awesome!," you defended.

"Just saying. I'm sensing a bit of a pattern...," he teased.

You scoffed. "This coming from the guy who actually feels bad about some the people crashing into things when we're watching Ridiculousness," you said, reminding in how Peter was forever the relentless sap. "Well, while you're so busy judging me, whose your favorite character?"

At that, he gave a small sincere smile. "Ben. He's really cool."

"Ben Kenobi? The old guy that literally let himself die? But why?"

He shrugged, the small grin still present on his face. "Eh, sentimental reasons..."

He watched you return his sweet smile and it was then and there when Peter really felt content with the night. Though, you hadn't even known the weight his words carried, he did. Ned was the only other person who knew about it. But Peter knew right then and there that if you had asked, he'd tell you. And he knew you'd understand. Maybe you were just nice. Or maybe you did like him back. But in that moment, Peter didn't care. He just wanted to be here with you. Lost in the warm smell of popcorn and your vanilla perfume, watching a Star Wars movie with Uncle Ben surely smiling down from Heaven. And it gave Peter hope that maybe, just maybe, this was a step in the right direction.

2 hours (and five minutes) down. 22 hours (and forty seven mintues) to go...

---------------------------------------

Taglist: @underoosjae @spn-assemble-seven @of-your-eyes-begonia-skies @parkerpeter24 , @audreylovespidey706

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popentertainment-moviereviews · 3 years

Photo

POPEYE – 40th ANNIVERSARY EDITION (1980)

Starring Robin Williams, Shelley Duvall, Ray Walston, Paul Dooley, Paul L. Smith, Richard Libertini, Donald Moffat, MacIntyre Dixon, Donovan Scott, Roberta Maxwell, Allan Nicholls, Wesley Ivan Hurt, Bill Irwin, Robert Fortier, David McCharen, Sharon Kinney, Peter Bray, Linda Hunt, Wayne Robson, Van Dyke Parks, Klaus Voormann and Dennis Franz.

Screenplay by Jules Feiffer.

Directed by Robert Altman.

Distributed by Paramount Home Video. 114 minutes. Rated PG.

Even in 1980, the creation of Popeye seemed a little out there. The character was way old-fashioned and campy, so what really was the chance that a musical film version would float?

However, it had a lot of things going for it. It would be helmed by legendary director Robert Altman – who was looking for a big hit after the lukewarm replies for his last few more personal films. The film was written by legendary cartoonist, author, playwright and screenwriter Jules Feiffer (Carnal Knowledge).

The music and lyrics were written by respected pop/rock singer/songwriter Harry Nilsson, whose career was also a bit on the skids due to drug usage but was still acknowledged as a musical genius. (Nilsson’s score is one of the best things about the film.)

They also built a humongous, expensive, self-contained set; a whirligig of action and motion which seemed almost like a Disneyland shantytown ride.

So much was expected of this film that it was one of those rare occasions in which a movie was made by two of the major movie studios – Paramount and Walt Disney.

And this was the first lead role in a film for Robin Williams, who had recently become a shooting star with his popular sitcom Mork and Mindy. Williams’ role as the sailor man is interesting. It is a spectacular imitation of the character, however it’s so all-consuming that his acting sort of gets swallowed up by the mimicry of an always slightly odd role. It wasn’t until his next film – The World According to Garp – that we learned what a subtle and smart actor Williams was.

However, if Williams was punching a little over his weight here, the casting agent who chose Altman regular Shelley Duvall (The Shining) as Popeye’s love Olive Oyl was a pure genius.

Popeye is cartoonish – which makes sense, I suppose, it is based on a cartoon – but eventually it gets to all be a bit too much, too twee, too over-the-top. There isn’t all that much of a story, Popeye sails into the small town in search of his long-lost father. (One of the better sight gags in the film has Popeye kissing good night to a framed picture and then you see it is just a piece of cardboard which reads “My poppa.”)

He runs afoul of Bluto, the muscle-bound local government boss. He befriends locals like the cheap burger scarfing Wimpy (“I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today”). He rents a room with the Oyl family, eventually falling into a love hate relationship with gawky daughter Olive. They find an abandoned baby named Sweet Pea.

Sometimes it was a bit unconventional – this Popeye doesn’t like spinach, ferchrissakes.

The dialogue tries a bit too hard, way too many jokes land with a thud. The action sequences are so overdone that they feel like a live-action animation. (I know that was the point, but it doesn’t work as well as they would have liked.)

In the end, despite all the high hopes, Popeye was considered a bit of a flop upon release. With 40 years of hindsight, it’s not all that hard to see why. When you get right down to it, Popeye was not a good film. In fact, in many ways it was pretty disappointing. Still, it was a rather fascinating failed attempt and worth watching just to see all the crazy topsy-turvy ideas that just didn’t quite work.

Jay S. Jacobs

#Popeye #40th Anniversary Edition #2020 #Video Reviews #Robin Williams #Jay S. Jacobs

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vozpit · 5 years

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The 10 Best Cartoon Bad Guys of All Time

10. Boris Badenov - The Rocky & Bullwinkle Show

Shaddup you mouth!Never in the history of cartoons has there been a character so happy to be evil than Boris Badenov. Along with his sidekick, the almost as evil (and somehow strangely sexy), Natasha Fatale, Boris did everything he could to make Moose & Squirrel's life a living hell. He obviously hated America & everything to do with it. But, he also hated his own country of Pottsylvania & did his best to avoid going there whenever possible. 9. Berg Katse - Gatchaman

The original sex change artistAlso known as Zoltar in "Battle of the Planets" & Galactor in "G-Force". Berg Katse is the leader of Galactor (that was the name of the organization in the original version), an evil alien race, determined to rule the Earth. What set Berg apart from the other alien bad guys, is he was a shape-shifting sex-changer. Yes, sometimes he was a man & sometimes he was a woman! The English versions explain this by saying it was two different people, Zoltar & his sister. Although, even as I kid, I figured out they were one & the same. Although I thought he was just a woman, dressed like a man. Little did I know what screwy heads the Japanese had with their characters. Considering Berg had to deal with the fact that sometimes he had a cock & sometimes not, I have to give him credit that he was able to do as well as he did running the whole show. 8. Cobra Commander - G.I. Joe

COBRA!Cobra Commander is leader of Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization, determined to rule the world! Kind of like Galactor, but Earthbound. And Cobra's ideas to take over the world were so crazy, that aliens from another world were like, "That's some crazy shit, Cobra!" He always hid his face, either behind a hood, with eye holes, or a helmet with a mirrored front. Somehow, this mirrored face didn't reflect anything. It was Cobra Commander's voice that was the star of the show though. It was raspy & lispy & when he spoke, you listened. Cobra Commander was such a great character, that he even appeared in another cartoon, "The Transformers", which obviously took place years after Cobra was disbanded, as he was pretty much alone. As far as we know, Cobra Commander is still out there, biding his time. Mwahaha! COBRA! 7. General Grievous - Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Kick ass cyborg!Appearing in the 2nd "season" of the animated Star Wars tale, that takes place between Episodes 2 & 3, Grievous stood out as one mean mother fucker. He killed almost all the Jedi, BY HIMSELF! He stood taller than the Jedis & had 4 arms, which meant, 4 fucking light sabers! He was so cool, that George Lucas said, "He's cooler than any character I ever came up with. Let's put him in the next movie!" Of course, Lucas turned him into a smaller Cyborg with an exposed heart, which was easily shot by a blaster. But, for a small shining moment, in the animated series, Grievous kicked so much alien ass, that Galactor was looking to hire him. 6. The Legion of Doom - Superfriends

It's almost like they know the camera is in the room!Yes, I know this is a team of Super-villains, but they moved as one. Actually, they pretty much never moved as one. But, that didn't matter either. The LoD had a much cooler HQ than the Superfriends ever had. Their HQ would rise up out of a swamp. And inside, it was just a table that fit all members of the LoD. Their leader was Lex Luthor, the mastermind. They also had Bizarro, Black Manta, Riddler, Giganta, Sinestro, Cheetah, Solomon Grundy, the Scarecrow, Brainiac, Captain Cold, Gorilla Grodd, & the Toyman. Alone, these bad guys kind of sucked, but together....Watch out!!! Actually, they kind of sucked together too. But the name, the name!!! Legion of DOOOOOOM!!! 5. Dishonest John - Beany & Cecil

NYA HA HA!You know why Dishonest John deserves to be on this list? Because his name was Dishonest John & he was still able to con people (and sea serpents). He had the word "dishonest" sitting there for all to see. But it didn't matter! Nya Ha Ha!! 4. Megatron - The Transformers

Hey Starscream! Wax my ass!If you could put evil into a robot & then boost up the evil to 11, that was Megatron. He could give two shits about human life. He was all about getting energy & didn't care who or what was in his way. He even treated his own soldiers like shit. He also transformed into the stupidest form, a gun, that only worked if someone shot it for him. It didn't matter. They were all scared of him, the good, the bad, didn't matter. Megatron was Megacool! 3. Bluto - Popeye cartoons

This big mumbling fool was all muscle. It seemed Bluto was only there for one reason, to cock-block Popeye into nailing Olive. And it worked too, because Popeye & Olive never did it. Bluto didn't need any spinach to kick the shit out of Popeye either. He could walk through walls, bend steel bars with his teeth, & toss Popeye a block away. He shaved with a razor so nicked, that a normal man would have bled to death using it on his face. And when he shaved, he had a full beard. The only questionable thing was why was he such a prick to Popeye? Bah, no matter! Bluto is one mean sumamabitch! 2. Joker - Batman: The Animated Series

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!The Clown Prince of Crime! Never mind the Calypso Joker from the 60s, or even the smeary faced dude from the new Batman movie, the Joker from Batman: TAS has them all beat. He is truly maniacal & crazy. Just see him interact with his one true "love" Harley Quinn. He could care less about her, or does he? His plans are diabolical & over-the-top! He's scary, funny, & evil to the core. 1. Venger - Dungeons & Dragons

The Force of Evil!Talk about evil. This guy wants to kill kids! His father is Dungeon Master, the creator of the Realm of Dungeons & Dragons. Does Venger care? Fuck no! Dungeon Master protects the kids. Does Venger care? Fuck no! The only thing Venger is scared of is a 3 headed dragon, that is about 90 feet tall. It's the only thing that scares him! And I bet even that never made Venger shit his pants. All the kids wanted to do was get back home, but Venger said, "No way little fucks!" and ruined their chances time & time again. Fucking with kids is evil to the core & that's all Venger did. He is truly the champ of cartoon bad guys.

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dweemeister · 5 years

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Shiver Me Timbers! (1934 short)

As animated short films emerged from the silent film era, the major Hollywood studios acquired or partnered with animation studios to quickly produce shorts that could be shown before or in between movies. One of the most important names in American animation in the 1930s was Fleischer Studios – co-founded by brothers Max and Dave Fleischer – partnering with Paramount. The Fleischer shorts, unlike their competitors across town, usually concentrated on human characters – their filmography more commercial than artistic for art’s sake. Due to messy rights issues and modern-day corporations not seeing the value in the older movies they have acquired, much of the Fleischer filmography is unknown to audiences. That includes the films of Betty Boop, whom younger generations have a superficial knowledge about (the upstart company Olive Films has recently remastered some of the non-public domain Betty Boop shorts for home media), and the seventeen Superman shorts released from 1941-1943.

Surviving this mélange of media acquisitions, mergers, and dismissive attitudes to older media is Popeye the Sailor. Popeye, introduced in a comic strip in 1929 and first appearing in cinemas in 1933, has outlasted in the public imagination anything else that Fleischer Studios ever released. The visibility of the muscular, spinach-loving, pipe-smoking sailor has been kept intact because of the character’s rights belonging to Turner Entertainment (whose properties include Cartoon Network – which used to air Popeye regularly – and Turner Classic Movies, TCM) by way of Warner Bros. With Halloween nearing, the subject of this write-up is the twelfth of 108 Popeye shorts released by Fleischer Studios from 1933-1942 (Fleischer’s successor, Famous Studios, increased that total to 230 through 1957), Shiver Me Timbers! The film is credited to Dave Fleischer as a director, but research has shown his duties were closer to being a producer and creative supervisor. Most of the directorial work probably fell to credited animators Willard Bowsky and William Sturm.

Released in midsummer 1934, this is an early Popeye piece: in black-and-white, well within the era of rubber hose animation, the sound mix imperfect. After presumably being out in the ocean, Popeye (voiced by William Costello), Olive Oyl (Mae Questel; if you are unfamiliar with the Popeye series, Olive is Popeye’s longtime love interest of varying ambiguous relationship statuses... Questel is also an underrated voice actress), and Wimpy (Lou Fleischer) stumble upon a ruined, beached ship – its sails tattered, its wooden planks falling apart. Popeye immediately recognizes this to be a ghost ship and decides to investigate – against Olive’s better judgements. This film would not be interesting if they decided against climbing onboard, so of course they climb up the ladder that magically unfurls itself onto the ship’s deck! The ship moves itself off the beach, out to sea, and the spooks haunting the ship start toying with the too-curious mortals.

What makes the Fleischer animated shorts so difficult to judge compared to their peers from Walt Disney Animation Studios (partnered with Columbia, United Artists, and RKO at separate times across the 1930s; Disney did not become a major studio until the 1990s) and Warner Bros. (their animation arm an in-house body of the studio) is that they are largely formulaic. Popeye might be the most formulaic of all the Fleischer series, especially the later years under the Famous Studios moniker. The narrative usually follows this order: Popeye finds himself chasing or with the love of his life in Olive Oyl; arch-nemesis Bluto enters the scene and proceeds to abduct or, with dishonorable intentions, flirt with Olive; Olive winds up in trouble; Bluto beats the living daylights out of Popeye in ways that would otherwise kill any normal person; near unconsciousness or death, Popeye eats his spinach and proceeds to give Bluto (and his minions, if applicable) a walloping outdoing anything Bluto did to him; Popeye gets what he wants; and he sings the following or a variation of it: “I’m strong to the finich/finish, ‘cause I eats my spinach, I’m Popeye the Sailor Man!”. Toot, toot!

Shiver Me Timbers! is a refreshing take because Bluto is not here to bluster his way through the plot. Instead, the film revolves around a bunch of ghosts having their way with Popeye, Olive, and Wimpy – playing with the characters’ personalities that Bluto might exploit for nakedly nefarious purposes. Separating this Popeye entry from many others in this decade is the time given to the supporting characters. Though it criss-crosses between Popeye, Olive, and Wimpy, the film always feels cohesive, with all of its jokes landing. For Olive, some of the early Fleischer Popeye shorts show her as very capable of physically holding her own against those who might want to harm her (one of my favorite gags including her is near the end of 1933′s Blow Me Down! – where she is closing her eyes, calling out for Popeye’s help, not realizing she has hammered Bluto senseless with a wooden club, saving herself). At one point in Shiver Me Timbers!, Olive is abducted by the ghosts, but their form of “torture” is the funniest moment in the film. The gluttonous J. Wellington Wimpy (better known as just “Wimpy”; his role in the comic strip downsized in cinematic adaptations of Popeye), in a rare development, actually has lines to deliver – completely fitting in with his cowardly character. The tricks played on Wimpy are tailored to his weakness for food. It is utterly ridiculous with flourishes of physical absurdity often found in 1930s animation and that would be less emphasized in later decades.

No, Shiver Me Timbers! will not scare anyone, but one still would not want to experience what Popeye and his friends go through on this boat ride from hell. Well, the funnier side of hell, even down to Sammy Timberg’s musical direction (Timberg worked for many of the Fleischer short films, but also contributed songs to their features: 1939′s Gulliver’s Travels and 1941′s Mr. Bug Goes to Town). From an animation standpoint, Bowsky and Sturm make use of glass plates and miniature sets to make their animation look less flat – this process was a relatively new feature in 1934, and gave their backgrounds dimension. This technological accomplishment would be perfected by the Fleischers’ primary rival, Walt Disney, in 1937 with the introduction of the multiplane camera.

The film is one of the best from Popeye’s early days at Fleischer because of its willingness to defy the typical Popeye narrative (if just for a few minutes). The ridiculous situation and the inventive animation – a moment with skeletons might have been inspired by The Skeleton Dance (1929) from Disney – results in several minutes of ghostly chaos and entertainment one wants from an animated short like this. Animated characters exploring haunted locations has long been a staple in animated films and television, with Shiver Me Timbers! one of the best early entrants to that venerable tradition.

My rating: 8.5/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. Half-points are always rounded down. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found here.

#Popeye #Shiver Me Timbers!#Fleischer Studios #Dave Fleischer #Olive Oyl #Willard Bowsky #William Sturm #Max Fleischer #William Costello #Mae Questel #Lou Fleischer #Wimpy #Sammy Timberg #TCM #My Movie Odyssey

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chrismaverickdotcom · 6 years

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Mavademics: Male Gaze through Visual Signifiers in Comic Art

Last week I saw an image for a cover to a Popeye comic. This version, drawn by Steve Mannion featured Popeye and Bluto with exaggerated vein popping musculatures and Olive Oyl reimagined as a sexy femme fatale in the style that, at least to me, is most close evocative of Salma Hayek‘s character from Deserpado. At the time I thought it was an upcoming series that reimagined Popeye in a modern context in the same way as recent series have done with Flintstones, Scooby Doo and Snagglepuss. I was intrigued and excited. I wanted to see what they were going to do with it. I’ve since come to learn that it was actually an older variant cover to Popeye Classics, IDW Comics‘ series of reprints fo classic Popeye adventures. I’m actually a little disappointed by this, because I was totally interested to see where it would go, but even without a new series to back it up, the image did make me think of some issues that I am working with in my dissertation that I figured it would be worth floating here in my blog to see what people’s thoughts were. In other words, it’s time for another fun round of everyone’s favorite game, “let’s comment on Mav’s dissertation research!”

Namely, I am interested in the fact that when I posted the image to Facebook, the main criticism that people jumped on immediately was the obvious sexualization of Olive Oyl. My friend Cenate pointed out that “A curvaceous Olive Oyl is just so strange. My brain can’t process it.” and a lot of this is because, as in the words of my friend Steve, “Admittedly I expect comic book bodies to be unrealistic, but man, my whole body is in pain just thinking about how deformed and twisted Olive’s skeleton must be. Either her left knee is twisted ninety degrees or she has a goat leg, likely both given the appearance of the silhouette of her right leg…” And while that’s true, my counter argument was that I find it interesting that this is what their attention is called to despite Olive Oyl never being particularly anatomically correct traditionally, and Popeye and Bluto also being extremely non-proportioned in they image. That is, I find it interesting but not surprising. In particular I see it as emblematic of the usage of male gaze in comic art. That is, here I am referring to “comic art” as an art style (or really set of styles collecting a series of like visual tropes) as opposed to the physical media (comic books), or the common genres most often associated with that media (superhero fantasy).

First, I think it’s worth defining the idea of “the male gaze.” I am not using it in the common internety way, of just saying “its bad to portray women as sex objects.” There’s an important conversation to be had there, but that’s not really where I am going with this. At least not directly. It’s an obvious connection that follows, however. When I am using the term I am doing so more in the vein that Laura Mulvey does in her original essay that introduced the term, “Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema”. Specifically, at least here, I am concerned with the techniques by which the art style uses the media to portray female characters as sexual objects inviting a voyeuristic gaze, in contrast to make characters being depicted as subjects capable of active agency, rather than the ramifications of doing so. In her essay, Mulvey focuses on the specifics of how this is done in classic cinema pointing to the manner in which the woman, who’s primary purpose is to-be-looked-at, rather than progress the actual action of the plot, must necessarily freeze the otherwise progressing action of the film in order to invite the audience to partake in the voyeuristic pleasure of admiring her body. Since Mulvey is concerned primarily with classic cinema, she uses examples like Rear Window and Marnie. But I’m a comic book geek, so I’m going to offer Ming the Merciless’s hypnosis of Dale Arden in the cult classic Flash Gordon:

Note that when Ming takes control of Dale, everything else in the film stops so that people can just look at her. No one attempts to save her. The extra-diegetic lighting in the room inexplicably lowers so that the audience we can more easily ignore Flash Gordon and the others and focus on Dale as she runs her hands up and down her body and dances for Ming’s (and transitively our) amusement. She’s fully clothed, and in fact, is far more erotically dressed in nearly every scene that follows this in the film, and yet this scene is inherently sexual. Her movements and slow semi-orgamsic moans expressly tell the viewer that this is about sex, however her explicit lack of consent and even awareness of what’s going on key us to read that her personal sexual enjoyment, or lack thereof is entirely irrelevant. Even Flash, her love interest in the film, who is very much aware of the fact that his girlfriend is being psychically sexually violated against her will, can’t help but acknowledge that looking at her as an object (her explicit purpose in the scene) is “sensational.”

That is not to say that the sexuality on display cannot be germane to the plot, or that even doing so makes it a bad narrative. After all, in Rear Window, Mulvey’s key example, the voyeurism inherent in watching is central plot of the film. This can also be seen in the actual scene from Desperado that I compared Olive Oyl to in the first place:

Here, we’re actually given far less time to focus on Carolina(Hayek) as an erotic object. In my head, before I rewatched the scene, I remembered there being far more time to focus on her than actually occurs. She is introduced at a key moment in the action as the Mariachi (Antonio Banderas) is being pursued by his adversaries. She does not freeze the action, but instead is inserted into it because of her sexuality. She is explicitly scantily dressed to key the audience in to the fact that her sexuality is important. We don’t get much time to focus on her bare midriff, flowing windblown hair, or the fact that her tight shirt is tied to frame her boobs — approximately five seconds while other things are going on — but we are entirely aware of them. Moreover, the car crash that happens as she carelessly walks across the street keys us in to the fact that men are so distracted by her beauty that they can focus on nothing else, and her laugh at the event tells us that not only is she used to this sort of thing, but she enjoys it. Immediately after this, we have all action occurring in slow motion as the Mariachi is transfixed by looking at her, so much so that he (and we) almost ignore the the armed assailant whom we all know is coming to kill him. And yet, from this point onward, Carolina is one of the key characters of the film. But she is defined by her sexuality because the tropes of filmmaking tell us to define her that way.

So that takes us back to the Olive Oyl image. Obviously she is sexualized. But the question becomes why… and how does she command specific attention in the image beyond what the other figures do. After all, Steve commented that “my whole body is in pain just thinking about how deformed and twisted Olive’s skeleton must be. Either her left knee is twisted ninety degrees or she has a goat leg, likely both given the appearance of the silhouette of her right leg…” but Popeye’s suffers from much the same issue, his left leg is raised higher than should be possible with out a dislocated hip. His elbow has been relocated to the bottom of his oversized forearm, which should be breaking both his underdeveloped bicep and shoulder from the sheer weight of support. Given the the relative length of his right upper arm, we must assume that his left lower arm has been severed from the occlude left bicep. Similarly, Bluto, whose left arm is more massive than Olive’s entire frame, appears to be missing a right arm entirely, unless we as readers are to assume he has a congenital birth defect causing an underdeveloped arm, which would then call in to question why Popeye is attacking a disabled man. In a sense, Olive may actually be the most realistically proportioned figure in the entire image.

She is also more realistically rendered than her classic interpretation, a wiry, frail woman with joints that seem irrelevant to the points at which her body is capable of bending. While the new interpretation of Olive, with her ample bosom (again, like Hayek’s framed in a tight, low-cut, midriff exposing blouse), skirt clinging tighter to her legs to suggest her crotch, and leg pointed suggestively to expose her new 4-inch heel Fuck-Me Boots, the classic Olive isn’t actually that far behind. It’s true that Olive was never classically visually depicted as having a body that is conventionally sought after as attractive by women of the current era or her 1919 origin, she was always a sex object. She is designed to be a flapper (hence her hair and skirt), a stereotype that has as much sexual connotation at the time as it does now. It’s just that the specific style that E.C. Segar used when drawing her and the other Popeye/Thimble Theatre characters wasn’t designed to “realistic” so much as expressive. She frequently made it clear from her posture and actions that she was extremely horned up almost all of the time. In fact, a LOT of Popeye strips are pretty much about Olive basically wanting to fuck whoever pays the slightest flattery to her. It’s one of the reasons Bluto and Popeye hate each other. When she is not actively seeking amorous attention, she is the perpetual kidnapped damsel-in-distress from Bluto, who desires her sexually.

The sexual aspect of the Olive Oyl character was so prevalent in the 1930s and 40s that she became one of the most common characters featured in Tijuana Bibles (NSFW, seriously… DO NOT click to enlarge this image unless you really want to see a raunchy, rapey, bisexual, anal threesome between Olive, Popeye and Wimpy that your grandfather or great grandfather probably jacked off to at some point during the during the war… I mean, who are we kidding, we all know you’re going to click on it, but you’ve been warned). While the authors and artists of Tijuana Bibles are generally anonymous, it is widely believe that many of the underground artists creating the pieces were employed by day as the regular artists or assistant artists of these very same strips. So while they are certainly not officially sanctioned, they were very much understood as part of the comic culture of the time in the same way sexualize fan art that you might find on DeviantArt, or commission from an artist at a comicon is today. And Olive became a favorite of these because she was understood to be an innately sexual character.

So if we return to the Mannion cover we see some very specific elements at work that call attention to this sexualization despite Olive taking up comparatively little space in the composition. Obviously, the clothing choices are designed to present a sexualized image consistent with modern 21st century fashion choices. Her her hips, boobs, and legs are extended in such a way as to accentuate her femininity as much as possible. While the other characters are more dynamic, she is positioned in front of them, signaling her importance to the composition. Finally, she is the focal point of a golden spiral, the visual instantiation of the golden ratio, φ. In layman’s terms’s Popeye and Bluto are positioned relative to the rest of composition to form the beginnings of a spiral that causes the eyeline to drift towards a specific focal point, as you follow the action. In this case, specifically you are drawn closer and closer to her torso, which continues the spiral which is now framed by her boobs and crotch. Mathematically, you the image literally signifies to you “tits and pussy, right here kids.” Like Hayek in Desperado, she seems both completely aware and totally disaffected by the effect her sexuality has on Bluto and Popeye behind her. She knows they’re there, but this is regular occurrence for her (and it is) so she is happy to mind her business and rejoice in her function, to be looked at as an object to drive the action rather than a participant in and of herself.

Again, I’m not making a Frederic Wertham argument here. I’m not so much arguing that the objectification inherent in the image is “bad.” In fact, in this case, I think it’s used particularly well. But the argument is more in the fact that it is commonplace enough to have become a specific visual trope. I actually went to the comic book shop, Phantom of the Attic, yesterday to count how many female sexualized covers there were. From a pure blatant eroticization stanpoint, of the 216 covers that were on the shelf yesterday, only eight had covers that I think your common viewer people would claim were blatantly eroticized towards a male gaze, far fewer than I would have expected, honestly (and way less than would have been the case in the 1990s comic boom). However, 42 of them used golden spirals to draw the focus to an at least mildly sexualized female character or body part. While some of these make sense tonally or narratively, (as is the case with the Red Sonja/Tarzan cover pictured below), others (as in the Hit-Girl cover) seem almost incidental but for the fact that because the character is female, the focus on a sexual characteristic must be sexual.

In particular this becomes complicated by the manner in which we view an eroticized male vs an eroticized female, is is the case in two similar bondage covers that happened to be on the shelf, one for Spider-man and another for Breathless. The female cover takes on a much more erotic connotation despite being effectively identical to the male. This appears to be a function of the cultural view of feminine vs. masculine sexuality as portrayed in art. Clearly the sexual aspects of masculinity are as exaggerated, if not more so, in Popeye and Bluto than they are in Olive in the Mannion image, but it is Olive that appears to draw our attention, not only because of the focus of the spiral, but because we are more predisposed to notice the woman as sexual object than the male.

So anyway, that’s what I’m working with right now. I’m curious as to people’s base opinions and thoughts. This may possibly get worked into a future episode of the podcast… which reminds me… I want to end on a cheap plug. Check out my podcast, VoxPopcast which I do with Wayne Wise, Katya Gorecki and whoever else I happen to rope in that week. Subscribe on iTunes and Facebook and leave reviews and comment and all the things that will make me famous so I can just think about sex in funny books all the time. You know… for you.

Laura Hudson, Cenate Pruitt, Jessica Keller, Vox Popcast liked this post

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Mavademics: Male Gaze through Visual Signifiers in Comic Art was originally published on ChrisMaverick dotcom

#bluto #comics #desperado #flash gordon #golden spiral #laura mulvey #Male gaze #olive oyl #popeye

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itsiotrecords-blog · 7 years

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http://ift.tt/2sYbtnh

“It’s-a me, Mario!” Pretty much everyone knows who Mario is. The mustached Italian plumber with a penchant for jumping and saving princesses. Not only is he the mascot for Nintendo but he’s also the gaming industry’s most recognizable character. We all know the Super Mario franchise. Unless of course you’ve been living under a rock for the past 30 years. When the first Super Mario Bros. game was released in 1985, it made the side-scrolling subgenre of the platform video game even more popular. Due to favorable reviews and big sales, the game spawned countless sequels, turning into a mass-market franchise over the years. As of September 2015, 310 million copies in the Super Mario franchise have been sold around the world, making it the best-selling video game franchise ever. The first game in the Super Mario franchise may have come out over 30 years ago, but it still remains hugely popular to this day. It’s stood the test of time and boasts a legacy that has immortalized it. And yet despite the franchise’s extensive history, there still remains plenty of secrets and lesser-known information surrounding the series. We may know all about the finished products that were released, but do we know about its origins? The features that could have potentially ended up in the final copy? If you’re curious to know more about one of the most popular video game franchises in history, then check out this list of 15 things you didn’t know about Super Mario.

#1 Super Mario 64 Has Been Shown To Improve Spatial Orientation, Memory Formation, Motor Skills And More Whoever said video games couldn’t be educational? Super Mario 64, a classic in the Super Mario series, has proved it can be just as educational as it is entertaining. A few years ago, a study was done at the Max Plank Institute for Human Development and Charité University Medicine St. Hedwig-Krankenhaus. Researchers had 23 adults play Super Mario 64 on a portable Nintendo console for 30 minutes a day for two months, so they could determine the effects of video games on the brain. A control group didn’t play video games for the two-month period. To the surprise of the researchers, the group that played video games showed an enlargement of gray matter in their right hippocampus, right prefrontal cortex, and the cerebellum, compared to those in the control group. As a result, activities involving spatial orientation, memory function, strategic planning and motor skills of the hands were enhanced.

#2 The Game Croc: Legend Of The Cobbos Started Out As A Game Featuring Yoshi The friendly green Yoshi known as, well, Yoshi, may have already starred in various video games in the Mario franchise, but he could have had one more to add to the list. The game in question is Croc: Legend of the Cobbos, a 1997 platform video game that follows a crocodile named Croc, as he tries to rescue furry creatures known as Gobbos from an evil tyrant. But before Croc became the protagonist of the game, the role initially belonged to Yoshi. British game developer Argonaut Games, pitched a 3D platform game to Nintendo featuring Nintendo’s own Yoshi as the main character. However, Nintendo wouldn’t let an outside company use their characters, and the deal fell through. Argonaut took their prototype game and made some modifications on it, creating a new protagonist that was similar to Yoshi. The finished product was named Croc: Legend of the Cobbos, and would become the company’s highest-selling game.

#3 In Super Mario Bros., The Invading Koopas Turned The Inhabitants Of The Mushroom Kingdom Into Blocks Yeah, that’s right. Those blocks scattered throughout all the levels of the game are actually the innocent citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom who were unfortunate enough to be cursed and transformed into inanimate objects, unable to save themselves or call for help. The instruction guide for the game outright states this in the game’s instruction guide, so it’s not some absurd fan theory meant to explain the numerous blocks popping up everywhere. Which means Mario is a murderer since he probably destroyed thousands of blocks on his journey to save Princess Toadstool from the clutches of the nefarious Browser. An accidental murderer, perhaps, but still a murderer. Before you destroy another block in a Super Mario Bros. game, please think about the inhabitants of the Mushroom Kingdom first.

#4 Super Mario Bros. 3 Is Actually A Stage Play What was once a fan theory was confirmed to be true by Mario series creator Shigeru Miyamoto. Apparently, Super Mario Bros. 3 never really happened. Mario was never really in any danger. The game was really a play and we were the audience. The proof? The game kicks off with a curtain opening with shadows on the backdrop. Blocks are seen fastened to the background and more shadows appear in the skyline. One can even go “backstage” during particular levels if they wish. Platforms are suspended from the roof by way of hidden machines located behind the set. And once you finish a level, it appears as if you are leaving a stage. The whole thing makes for a pretty elaborate performance.

#5 Mario Was Voiced By Optimus Prime At One Time What do Mario and Optimus Prime both have in common? They both share the same voice actor. The Italian plumber has been voiced by more than one person over the years. There was Walker Boone in Super Mario World and The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3, Lou Albano in The Super Mario Bros. Super Show, and Charles Martinent, the current voice actor for Mario. But at one point during the franchise’s history, he was voiced by Peter Cullen in the Donkey Kong shorts on Saturday Supercade aired in 1983. Peter Cullen was the voice for Optimus Prime in the original Transformers animated series aired in the 1980s, and he reprised his role for the live-action Transformers films starting in 2007. Mind=blown.

#6 The Donkey Kong Game Was Supposed To Be A Popeye Game Donkey Kong may be one of the most recognizable video game characters in the gaming industry, but there’s a lot of information surrounding the franchise that isn’t well-known to the public. For one thing, the original Donkey Kong game was initially designed to be a Popeye game. Mario was originally Popeye, Princess Peach was originally Olive Oyl, and Bluto was originally Donkey Kong. But Nintendo was unsuccessful in garnering the license to Popeye, so Miyamoto decided to take the classic love triangle and combine it with a King Kong theme for the new game. Donkey Kong would not only be credited with single-handedly saving Nintendo’s American arcade division, but it would become one of the company’s most iconic games.

#7 The Mushrooms From Super Mario Bros. Are Based On Mushrooms In Real Life There have been some Super Mario fans that have said Mario is high due to the all the mushrooms he keeps eating. And their speculation may be rooted in fact. The red cap mushrooms speckled in white dots commonly seen in the franchise are based on a type of mushroom in real life. Its scientific name is Amanita muscaria, but it is more commonly referred to as a “fly-agaric” mushroom. It’s a British fungus that is well-known for its toxicity and hallucinogenic characteristics. One of the chemical compounds found in fly-agaric mushrooms, known as muscazone, can cause visual distortions and can make it seem like one grew in size after eating it. Sound familiar? Whenever Mario eats a mushroom, he grows in size. So technically speaking, Mario is high while he’s going on missions.

#8 Tom Hanks Declined The Role Of Mario In The Super Mario Bros. Live-Action Movie If you didn’t know, the Super Mario Bros. series received a live-action film adaption in 1993 that starred Bob Hoskins as Mario and John Leguizamo as Luigi. For those of you who do know of the live-action movie and have seen clips of it at least, it’s most likely something that you want to forget ever seeing. The movie is largely regarded in the Super Mario fan community as a terrible film that can barely call itself a film adaption; they’re the same in name only. So we don’t blame Tom Hanks for turning down the role of Mario to act in the trial drama Philadelphia, a movie that received much better ratings than what the live-action Super Mario Bros. film received. I also don’t blame Arnold Schwarzenegger for turning down the role of King Koopa (aka Browser).

#9 Mario Was Originally A Carpenter Mario didn’t always start off as a plumber. In his early days on the arcade, his profession lied in the carpentry industry. In the Donkey Kong game, he was a carpenter who worked in construction that had to scale the building Donkey Kong was at the top of to save his girlfriend. It was decided this way so Mario could fit in with the game’s design, which took place at a construction site. It was for the original Super Mario Bros. arcade game that Mario’s occupation was changed from a carpenter to a plumber as pipes and sewers became a focal point of the game. It was also because a colleague told Miyamoto that Mario’s attire resembled the attire a plumber would wear instead of a carpenter and the game designer changed Mario’s profession accordingly.

#10 Mario Was A Villain In nearly every game he appears in, Mario is a brave and heroic figure who possesses a strong sense of justice and morality. Nearly. You may be surprised to know that Mario was the bad guy in one of the franchise’s games. That game was Donkey Kong Jr., which was released on the arcade system in 1982. The game follows Donkey Kong Jr. on his journey to rescue his father Donkey Kong from Mario, who has him locked up in a cage. At the end of the game, Donkey Kong Jr. defeats Mario and walks away with his newly-freed father. But looking at the first Donkey Kong game, it’s really not that surprising that Mario would be the antagonist in Donkey Kong Jr. since the manual for Donkey Kong explicitly says that the gorilla was Mario’s pet and Mario was mean to him, which is why Kong breaks free and kidnaps Mario’s girlfriend.

#11 The Chain Chomp Was Based Off Of A Traumatic Experience There’s a reason why the iconic Chain Chomp enemy barks like a dog and behaves much like a dog, too. It’s practically a dog in everything but appearance. And it’s because the Chain Chomp was based off of a dog from Miyamoto’s childhood. During his childhood, Miyamoto was terrorized by a neighborhood dog who chased him and tried to bite him before being pulled back by a chain attached to his collar. This dog would later be the inspiration for the Chain Chomps in the Super Mario franchise, though they were originally intended to be used for The Legend of Zelda series first. Bonus fact: A Chain Chomp will break free if you let it tug on its chain 49 times in Super Mario Bros. 3. Try it out.

#12 Mario Was Named After A Nintendo Office Landlord Ever wonder where the name for gaming’s most recognizable figure came from? The answer may surprise you. Mario was originally known as Jumpman during his arcade days in Donkey Kong. It was during the time that Nintendo of America was looking to import Jumpman and make him the star of a franchise that his name was changed. Allegedly, Nintendo of America was behind on the rent on their Seattle office, but their landlord, Mario Segale, decided to let it slide, having faith that they would pay him later. As a sign of their gratitude to Segale for his generosity, and because someone saw that Jumpman resembled Segale, Nintendo of America decided to give Jumpman the name of Mario. Segale may not have received any compensation for having his name used, but he will forever be immortalized as sharing the same name with Nintendo’s mascot.

#13 Playing Super Mario Sunshine Makes People More Kind In Real Life Video games always get a bad rep for triggering violent and sociopathic behavior. But one certain video game can actually trigger the exact opposite. Just like how Super Mario 64 proved it could improve the functioning levels of the brain, Super Mario Sunshine has beneficial effects on the people who play the game. Several years ago, a study was done by researchers all over the globe to examine the correlation between video games and the behavior of gamers. Not only did they look at violent games, but they also looked at “prosocial games”, games in which players assist each other in nonbelligerent ways. Researchers studied middle school children in Singapore and found that students who played more prosocial games displayed more prosocial behavior in real life. Similar studies done in other countries yielded the same results. Maybe there should be more games like Super Mario Sunshine.

#14 Yoshi Has An Evil Counterpart Named Boshi Mario’s archenemy and villainous counterpart is Wario. Luigi’s archenemy and villainous counterpart is Waluigi. Yoshi’s lesser-known archenemy and villainous counterpart is Boshi. Boshi’s only appearance is in Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars, which was released in 1996. Whereas Yoshi is a brave and friendly individual who is always eager to lend a helping hand, Boshi is a loner with attitude who prefers to stick to himself, but enjoys competing against others and beating them. He wears a pair of sunglasses and a spiked collar and is the only known Yoshi who doesn’t wear shoes. During Legend of the Seven Stars, Mario and friends travel to Yo’ster Isle to relax where Yoshi informs them that Boshi, the champion of the Mushroom Derby, is stealing everyone’s cookies and not letting anyone race on the race-course. But after Mario and Yoshi beat Boshi in a race, Boshi sees the error of his ways and lets everyone back on the race-course.

#15 Super Mario Bros. Was Originally Designed With A Shoot-Em-Up Level There are a variety of different methods Mario can use to dispatch his enemies, including throwing fireballs, throwing boomerangs, using a ground smash, and the classic stomping on the enemy. But another way for Mario to destroy his enemies could have been shooting them in a scrapped shoot-em-up stage from the first Super Mario Bros. game. According to a Famitsu interview done with Miyamoto, Mario would wield a gun and shoot at enemies from a cloud. Not only that, but he would be equipped with a jetpack to move around with. The Up button was to jump, the B button was to dash, and the A button was to fire bullets. In the end, the early designs for a shoot-em-up stage were discarded in favor of more jumping action. The sky-based stages of the game are all that’s left of the scrapped stage.

Source: TheRichest

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