#every so often i think about these girls and their biology shenanigans | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

toastedicarus · 4 months

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I was feeling bad about missing the first post, but apparently the next update is in MARCH so I'm not too late if you think about it?

One of the things that put me off reading Twig the first few attempts was that instead of joining on the premise of 'superheroes' or 'magic' I was instead slapped in the face with the premise of 'biology' which while I think Wildbow does an excellent job of mucking about with to create cool, horrifying, and other sorts of rad shit with, isn't exactly my personal cup of tea? I'm a fake wildbow fan, I'm here mostly for the Rad Shit and rely on other wormbloggers to present Themes and Ideas and such.

Sy this is a lizard. A snake with legs is just a lizard. Did you perhaps miss the second lesson, after 'life needs these elements' in which they go 'this is a lizard'?

The beginnings of Sy being a little shit. I don't remember him laughing a lot later on though? I've heard people (including wildbow) describe twig as a coming of age story, so maybe this is part of it. Like I said earlier, do not expect particularly deep cuts in this liveblog lol.

Hello Fred-From-Scooby-Doo. I sure hope you don't rot away first when these child experiments are revealed to have expiration dates. This is also the second mention of the wax masks that I thought were going to be like, an Everytime thing instead of just something prepared for this particular outing. I dropped my first reading this very chapter because I didn't want to read about wax cracking just as often as taylor reached out for her swarm, given wyvern makes Sy watch peoples faces for tells or whatever.

Hello the girls! I'm sure the gender ratio of the team here will have no surprises later on. Lillian gets a smaller introduction here compared to the other lambs(? I'm not sure if they're called that at this point.) I faintly recall her being the unenhanced medic/intern on the team, and I wonder if Sy thinking about her less here is intentional.

Hello Helen, who's apparently the best lamb (And I found myself agreeing with this with what little I read.) I forgot you were a fucked up blonde little girl like bonesaw, with the 'bending body in odd angles' I had swapped your mental image to the girl from the ring after a bit.

I had to google Wallaces law, because I am dumb. I don't know if this is 'alt earth Wallace got more credit for shit than Darwin did' sort of thing or if Wallace's Law is also a real thing.

Is this the problematic yuri I've heard about or am I reading too much into things because the next chapter comes out in march?

Giving Sy the benefit of the doubt for now that he's doing this because he thinks it's funny to make her mad and genuinely doesn't think it's an issue, and is also twelve(?). May change my tune later given I've heard it doesn't really get better?

Mostly clipping this bit trying to burn the aesthetic into my mind given I forget it over time, replacing every location with a new Generic Brown Brick Building. Haphazard buildings with petrified trees holding them up. Not just Detroit but More British.

We live in a so-Sy-ety.

Oh yeah it was intentional. I remembered one thing about twig, woo.

Very good character establishing being done here.

Hi Jamie. Trying not to read too much into initial description seeing as I know some spoilers about them, but not liking how they look with short hair instead of being happy with long hair is relatable. Men's haircuts suck.

I wonder if we ever get details about the gangs previous monster of the week shenanigans. Also if one counts the kittens, this is two mentions of baby murder in the first chapter.

Sy doing his thing is fun. The fact he's like 12(?) and looking down on the ten year old is also fun.

Wildbow fixing his problems with numbers by introducing ten dollars as a lot of money to share between a few ten year olds. Any attempts to calculate how much anything is actually worth in the twigverse is going to be wrapped up in this murkyness.

So you were curious then.

And given Helen's manner of sitting it actually is a recurring problem. god damn it Sy.

Wollstone, after a google, is just a reference to Mary Shelleys mother, and not another real scientist I should feel dumb for not recognizing.

I could not picture Jamie's hiding spot or the way the door was propped up. Taylor and your omniscient swarm to make sense of wildbow tabletop RPG paced fights, I miss you. I'll even take Victorias 'thinker 1' power. Someone stitch echolocation bat ears on Sy or some shit I'm begging you.

Confirmation that Sy was being a twelve year old about the ten year old he was playing.

I guess I can let the lizard thing go if Sy is only calling that because they're giving all their cases dorky saturday morning cartoon names

I remember Sy calling himself dogshit at fighting and I really hope theres more of these moments where shit he tries just fucking fails like this.

The gang of 12 year olds watching a man be devoured by his own creation, and Sy is more interested in putting Lillian in the out group for covering her eyes. I think this is why I dropped twig the second time, I judged it by it's first chapter and thought with the 'monster of the week' type of plot, with the focus on hunting and food, pretty much every death was going to be indulging in vore instead of other fun ideas for death in a 'biopunk' setting. Snake charmer is a decent starter antagonist, I'll probably have more thoughts about him once we have others to compare him to. Being against the academy but wanting to join it, spouting a few lines about

I don't know Sy well enough yet to know if he was lying to me, the reader about the fake fall he made sound natural in the narration, or if he's just actually bad at fighting. There's a post going around about 'real people falling for the acts that characters put on' and Sy might be doing that to me.

Hooray government created child murderers! You did it! See you again in March, apparently.

#twig liveblog #twig 1.1 #longpost

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hannaswritingblog · 3 years

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Headcanon: being Will’s trouble-making but supportive twin sister

Fandom: Stranger Things

Requested by @winterxisxcomingx (x)

A/N: This was actually so fun to write. :D It took me a moment to write only because of my university work, but I managed to find a couple of free moments. I hope you’ll like the effect.

Being the girl among your siblings, you are often expected to be most reserved

But since the norms are just norms not everybody’s temper fits in

And oh my oh my, how you don’t fit in

You often cause troubles

Not always on purpose, you’re just trying to live your best life

A biology class that will most likely be boring? Skipped, you have better places to be

A wall that seems too grey? Graffitied, it needed some colour

(You’re actually good in graffiti, just like your brother is skilled in drawing, you just have different ways of expression)

Bullies? Talked back to; who do they think they are to tease a Byers?

As you’re raised by a single parent, people sometimes turn a blind eye to your behaviour

At other times you do push things too far though, or at least try to

The only thing stopping you at most of those times is your twin brother, Will

Being a kind boy, he doesn’t want you to get into real trouble

As much as you enjoy the thrill of crossing the line you don’t want him to worry for you

Especially when he adresses the fact he’s afraid of what might happen to you

You know it’s a lot for him to talk about his troubles

As his twin you know a lot about when and what bothers him, often without words

But when he finally speaks about it, you know it really bothers him

So after every honest talk you follow him to class for a week or two and don’t act out

You ultimately change your ways to take care of your brother after he came back from the Upside Down

Separation, guilt of not being with him the day he was captured by the Demogorgon and the thought he could have actually died make you even more bonded

When your mom or Jonathan aren’t there to take care of him, you look after Will and rarely leave him alone

To the point he starts saying he misses your shenanigans and would love to see your new graffiti somewhere

On the other hand, this way you’re always there to jump at Will’s bullies if any of them dares to go him

It might still get you in trouble sometimes, but your brother’s well-being is what you care about most

#Hanna's writing #hannaswritingblog #fanfiction #headcanon #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things headcanon #will byers #will byers fanfiction #will byers headcanon #will byers x reader #reader insert #byers reader #female reader #requested #winterxisxcomingx

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neeterloveschenford · 3 years

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Thoughts on RNM 3x09

Ok y’all, here we go. Finally we are an official couple! Malex for the win!! (Other things happened, but ya know. Priorities.) I was very happy overall with the progress our boys have made. And as much as I’ve enjoyed this season, I’m glad we’ve had a bit of a time jump. Even if I think it’s only been a few days. I was pretty sure that Kyle and Max would already be up and about. It would have taken too much of an episode to deal with bringing Max out of the pod and Kyle waking up from his coma. Do I feel a little short changed? Yeah. But I get it. There’s only 13 episodes and there is a lot that we have to get to before the finale. So on that note, I’m gonna dive right in. Care to join me?

You go Nora with your badass self killing all those clones. (I mean harsh, but hopefully they were just vessels and had no consciousness to speak of.) And Jones being his crazy dictator self killing that scientist was super harsh. And can we for the love of God get Lucky away from him!?!?!?! He is the goodest boi! He deserves better.

Go on science Liz. I don’t understand half of what she said, but I believe it. And I love how badass she is when she sciences. And there we get our first glimpse of Malex goodness, “Me and Alex are working on the Lockhart machine.” Because of course they are. Because their brilliance only intensifies when they work together. Loved Isobel’s gross face when Liz talks about Noah’s spores. And here’s where we get the Heath story taking off. Max is not gonna like this one!

Ok, Deep Sky doctor lady. I really dig your hair, but do you know who you’re talking to here? Kyle is the premiere alien doctor on this planet. He probably knows more about weird biology than you’ll ever learn. Listen to my boy! And Kyle honey, you are completely justified in your righteous indignation. And you are correct in that no one is more qualified in top-secret ET shenanigans than you baby. (I really need to figure out how to use that line in real life. It’s like the best thing he’s ever said.) I still don’t know whether or not to trust Eduardo. I want to, but I’m still not sure what he’s all about.

I love how dedicated Isobel is. She’s downright obsessed and I love this side of her. And her cockblocking Delmanes was so funny all episode. I also really love that Greg is fully involved now. The Pod Squad needs all the allies they can get at this point.

That phone call almost made me cry. They look so incredibly happy to just be together. I knew as soon as Alex said he wouldn’t forget their date that it wouldn’t happen, but still. Just the fact that they are both ready for that step is amazing. They have both grown so much. I’m just so happy to see them so happy. It was truly amazing. And I agree with Michael. Alex needs to talk codey more often!

It was totally cute that Max had a get Liz playlist, but does he know what the song The Way is about? It’s not exactly romantic.

Heath, you’re in trouble now!

Delmanes are so cute! Isobel is so adorable when she is flustered by a pretty girl!. I will admit though, that I really wish Anatsa hadn’t slept with Max. I mean these guys tend to be a little too close sometimes. But, you know, that seems to be the way this show is going to roll. Blame it on Carina’s lingering messes from the last two seasons and move on.

Of course Alex would manifest Nora. Despite his growth, he still has a lot of guilt over her death and his father’s role in it. I love that Michael is his focus. Alex’s love for Michael will always be the guiding factor in everything he does. He wants more than anything to make sure that Michael has a good life. And I think he’s finally learned that his presence in Michael’s life is what makes it good. I love these two dumbos! (said lovingly) They make me so happy!!

Come on Max. Tell Liz how you not only kept her tapes, but you would listen to them in the desert while crying and missing her! These two are the real dumbos in this show. (said not so lovingly)

I love how powerful Isobel’s become. And that was way cool the way she pulled that pod out of the lake. I’ve really loved her journey this season. And Maria was right, that camp was really beautiful.

I just don’t know if we can trust Eduardo yet! He says all the right things, but he just seems too good to be true! I hope my misgivings are wrong. I really want Kyle and Alex both to have someone who will be a good father figure. They both deserve it.

You know what would have been an awesome twist? If Jesse had shown up when Alex saw the project shepherd tech in Nora’s machine.

I love how Michael just wants to take care of Alex. Lovingly breaking into his boyfriend’s house. What a romantic.

You know what Maria? Get it girl! I think Delmanes is both sexy and adorable. I am ok with them being together!

I love that Kyle is so determined to do the right thing. He has really grown to care about all the aliens. He just wants to do the right thing and I love him for it. He is proving every day that he is the best member of the Valenti family. I’m so proud of my baby boy!

And now we’re getting down to business with Echo. They both have made mistakes and they both have admitted as such, but it still surprises me that Liz cannot see why Max is so scared of his secrets getting out. (Am I really taking Max’s side in something? What is wrong with this picture?) Also, she is so determined to believe the best of Heath that she doesn’t want to see what’s glaringly obvious. I saw this coming like five episodes ago. Just saying.

If Vlamis doesn’t make that shirt part of his next merch drop, I will scream. I would wear the heck out of that shirt! And Eduardo’s face when Michael is standing in his office was the best! And bragging about how smart his boo is! Michael just adores his brilliant hacker boyfriend!

Admittedly, yoda Maria is getting a little old. But I am glad that Maria and Isobel are friends now. They really compliment each other so well. And I loved how Isobel took drinks out of Greg’s hand all ep.

My sweet Alex! I love him so much. Pushing himself so hard to try to help Michael. It’s all about Michael. His capacity to love is so huge. And then Michaell comes to the rescue. He’s always got him. That’s the kind of grand declaration that we need in our lives. The way that Alex grabbed onto Michael’s shirt was everything. They just bring so much joy to my soul.

Isobel and Anaste are cute, but my Kybel heart still beats strong. Also, I still think she’s an alien or something. I have decided to just not trust anyone new.

Michael listening to Alex, comforting him, and admitting he’s had the same fears was beautiful. I love how strong he is now. He’s really putting himself out there to be there for the people that matter the most. And that Sander’s story was so sweet. Of course that would be the perfect date for these two. And the fact that they worked together perfectly to take out the evil PS part and put the machine back together the way it was meant to be was such a great metaphor for their relationship. I can’t believe we are getting so much goodness right now. We are truly blessed.

Still making me take Max’s side Liz. You really are letting me down. Oh wait, helping Michael be less Michael. Yep, Max made me remember why I hate him. Never mind.

So Dallas is an alien. (At least somebody new is!) Not who I thought it would be though. And since we saw him in one of the s4 bts pics, then we know he’s probably sticking around. I am intrigued. And now we know what Heath’s been up to. I guess he’s supposed to be a not so bad guy since he’s trying to help his best friend. But you hurt my Kyle dude. There’s really no coming back from that.

I am still pleased with 99% of this season. We’re coming down to the wire now. I just hope for more and more goodness with every episode. Even if we have to have another episode without Alex, I am expecting there to be some mentions of him by Michael. This season has made me so so happy. I can’t believe we are living in a time when Malex is together and building a beautiful relationship that will stand the test of time. We are a blessed people. And I cannot wait for more! Till next time guys!!

#roswell new mexico #roswell new mexico s3 #s3ep9 #s3 spoilers #it's only my opinion

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theartoftiinyideas · 5 years

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the art of commoner slang

[tamaki suoh x fem! reader]

a/n: an oldie but a goodie (i guess¿? i hope). i love love love this anime where’s the second season goddamnit also, prepare for dumb shenanigans honestly what did u expect from this gang

word count: 1.6k (some curse words ahead)

summary: to you knowledge, here are the new trends for filthy rich people: 1. having flowers delivered to their doorsteps (check), 2. trying to woo innocent girls (you) with cheesy lines (uh.. that’s a check), 3. learning “commoner” slang (apparently so)

——————

Nope, you take it back, you can't do this, where the hell is the exit? Heck, where's the entrance? Where are you?

This was a nightmare. Ouran Academy wasn't a school for the rich and elite, it was a recreation of a gigantic maze for people exactly like you to get lost in. Normally, you were all for adorning architecture, but whoever designed this place was an idiot. Not to mention they clearly went overboard with the pink.

Your already evident frustration was growing more by the second as you continued to march down the silent hallways while mentally cursing the gatekeeper. ‘Go find music room three,’ he said, ‘it will be easy,’ he said. Easy my ass.

As weird as it sounds, you were currently trying to deliver an order of roses. But, like, a lot of them. You worked part-time for a company called Golden Petals, just so you could earn some extra cash. Apparently, the company was so amazingly successful that flower deliveries were a common thing. For filthy rich people, anyway.

Since you had no other tasks today, you decided to help your boss with one of the orders. But of course, the second you arrived at your destination, your boss got a phone call that his wife's water just broke. The poor man nearly fainted and immediately ran off to get a taxi to the hospital, leaving you to finish the job.

‘This baby better be cutest baby in the history of babies or else I'm gonna sue someone,’ were your thoughts as you turned a corner, surely walking past these set of windows for the 3rd time already. Who knows, you didn't know.

Wondering around, you were absolutely ready to start pulling your hair out, when you suddenly spotted the correct sign. In your utter relief, you broke into a sprint and without thinking sent the white doors flying as you entered the room.

In an instant, petals brutally attacked your face, some of it even landing in your gaping mouth. You heard a pair of laughs, but you were too busy trying not to choke to care.

“Oh, a new guest? We were just closing up, but no matter, we still got a little more time on our hands,” spoke a smooth voice. When you finished not dying, you glanced up at the guy in front of you. He was tall and slim, and carried himself elegantly.

“Tell me my dear, what brings you here?” he asked, his blond locks falling in front of his striking violet eyes as he outstretched his hand towards you.

“Um, business purposes?” You ignored his hand, not amused. His brows furrowed in confusion, taken aback by your harshly delivered words.

“I'm afraid I don't understand. You must be mistake-” suddenly his eyes twinkled, as if a lightbulb just popped for him.

“Oh, I see what your trying to attempt! Pulling the damsel in distress card with me, very tricky! I must say you almost fooled me, princess, but I'm highly experienced in this sort of thing,” he babbled on with wild hand gestures and graceful spinning.

“That's wonderful. I'm only here for the—woah!” The guy cut you off as he grabbed your wrist and pulled you into his side, an arm around your shoulder as he continued talking, explaining something about the other dudes in the room.

“So what's your type? Do you like the strong, silent type? The boy Lolita? Or maybe the mischievous type? What about the cool type? We also have a natural here! Or maybe,” he suddenly turned to you, slender fingers gently holding your jaw, “you want m–”

And that's the exact moment you've had enough.

“Get your hands off of me, pervert.” You didn't actually mean the accusation, but it sure had the effect you were going for. Blondie gasped and dashed three feet away from you, mortified.

“W-WHAT?! How could you say such a horrible thing?! I'm not a pervert! Mamaaa!”

A dark haired boy with glasses sighed as the redheaded twins began hysterically laughing.

With a soft chuckle, you made your way to Glinting Glasses man, as his appearance just screamed I'M SMART AND I HANDLE COMPLICATED FINANCIAL STUFF. You briefly explained your situation and he signed the necessary papers, thanking you at the end. Blondie was sulking in the corner, the others trying and failing to cheer him up.

“Is he alright?” you asked Glinting Glasses man, who had introduced himself as Kyoya.

“I’m sure he's fine. He tends to overreact and take things to heart when insulted.”

You frowned, feeling just a little guilty. You didn't mean to hurt his feelings, you were just still frustrated about almost getting lost. You smirked, and idea forming in your head. Blondie liked being dramatic? Game on.

“Oh, no!” you exclaimed rather loudly, throwing your arms in the air, “how will I make it back to the front gate, I don't know the way! Whatever will I do? If only there were a smart and handsome guy here, who could guide me back and save me!”

You saw Blondie immediately perking up at the suggestion, hoping to make things right with you. But unfortunately, the twins beat him to it.

“We could help you,” said one as he leaned his arm on his brother's shoulder.

“Besides, two guides are better than one,” reasoned the other. Blondie got up from his sulking corner at the speed of sound as he blocked the way of the redheads.

“Nonsense! Don't listen to these shady twins, princess! They're nothing but trouble! I'll be happy to escort you out safely!”

“Who you calling shady?!”

“You can’t just keep her to yourself, boss–”

You watched dumbfounded as the bickering continued. Kyoya and another guy with suspiciously feminine-looking eyes stood near you, eyebrows twitching. Okay, so your masterful plan wasn't going the way you hoped it would.

“Guys, cut it out!” shouted the smaller brunette besides you, promptly putting a stop to the three hosts' ruckus. “Tamaki, why don't you help her find the way back?”

Tamaki's eyes sparkled with joy as he abandoned the twins to squeeze the living daylights out of Suspicious Feminine Eyes.

“Oh, Haruhi, how thoughtful of you to think I'd be the better guide! You're right, of course,” he gloated.

“That's not it at all, senpai,” Haruhi grunted, “you're the only one who's currently available. Hikaru and Kaoru are failing biology so Ms. Young asked me to tutor them.”

The twins' eyes flashed with mischief as they sandwiched Haruhi between their bodies wearing shit-eating grins.

“Of course, how could've we forgotten? Sorry, Haruhi, let's go to our place and start this study session.”

“Biology is all about body parts, right? We could totally begin with studying each other's body parts.”

The two carrot heads were eyeing Blondie slyly, while he looked about ready to explode.

“Oh, no you don't! Don't you even dare- hey! Get back here you two! Bring back my daughter! Haruhiii!”

Tamaki frantically scrambled after them, but the twins were too fast. They cackled as they dragged a probably very confused and terrified Haruhi away with them. Tamaki slumped to the floor dramatically, his face absolutely devastated, while Kyoya just facepalmed and shook his head.

“Does this.. happen often?” you asked Kyoya after some silence, trying to cover your snickers.

“Often doesn't even begin cover it,” he sighed before taking out his cell phone, probably to take care of the roses.

You nodded awkwardly, rocking on your feet before you approached the white double doors where you entered. Guess you'll find your way back alone after all. You were almost at the end of the hallway when you heard shouting and stomping feet. You turned to see Tamaki skidding to a stop next to you, his expression significantly brighter.

“My most sincere apologies, princess, I shouldn't have acted the way I did back there. Especially in front of a new guest. It was rude of me.” His earlier suavity seemed to have disappeared as he glanced at you, nervously scratching his neck.

“Hey, it's cool. Don't worry about it,” you smiled reassuringly. If anything, you found the little fiasco in the music room quite funny.

“Oh, it's cool? Are you cold? I guess it can get a little chilly. Here, have my jacket.” His demeanour indicated concern as he draped his purple suit jacket over your shoulders so fast you didn't even have time to react. As your mind caught up to the situation, you involuntarily let out a laugh. Your eyes crinkled shut for a few seconds, so you didn't notice the slight red hue that crept up Tamaki's cheeks.

“No, not like that,” you giggled, “it's an expression. It basically means ‘it's okay’, only in a more breezy way,” you explained.

“Breezy? Like a wind?” Tamaki asked, totally lost.

You snorted unattractively and started walking, Tamaki falling into step beside you. “Forget the weather, man!”

As Tamaki escorted you back to the front gate, you introduced him to, what he called, ‘commoner slang’. He hung on every word you said, listening to you intently, sometimes asking a few questions. His glee was ridiculously contagious, and you found yourself grinning as he tested out new expressions. Him saying ‘dope’ in a really posh way was by far your favourite.

In no time at all, you were back at the gate, the empty delivery truck waiting for you. Tamaki thanked you for the roses, bid you goodbye, and ran back to the host club, eager to tell his friends what he learned.

You waved at his back, only realising you still had his suit jacket when he completely disappeared from sight.

i keep writing stuff i wanna continue with second parts help

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catzpah · 5 years

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in a canon that doesn’t relegate heather or valencia to emotional support, what do the rest of their arcs look like?

heather has an intellectual curiosity that is underexplored. early in the show, heather was characterized by her tendency to get bored and ditch. she stayed in community college for seven years. she took every class, some classes she took more than once. she regularly integrated what she was learning in class into her conversations, showing genuine interest and retention. heather LIKED school and she liked learning. i think she was intimidated by the prospect of choosing a four year school and choosing a major and just stayed in community college forever. but she showed a lot of passion, just like, talking about her marine biology class and i think although the prospect of choosing one subject scared her, she also would’ve been happy and satisfied with whatever she chose since her interests in college were so broad. i want heather going on to grad school and i want heather getting to do her own research! i think that would thrill her. heather stays in school forever, getting her phd and becoming a professor. her classes always fill up fast. she teaches at a four year school but also has a handful of classes at the nearby community college, wanting to initiate passion for community college students and give them guidance.

heather is also characterized by her superhuman emotional maturity. one of her best moments is when this bubble pops, in the episode after after “don’t settle for me,” when she tells greg that she’s NOT super chill with being broken up with, actually, and wants throw a dart in his eye. side note: don’t settle for me is vella’s best musical moment (followed closely by her dance in “we’ll never have problems again!). it’s a shame that heather’s apathy is what has defined her music numbers and we haven’t seen a full number where she channels that winning charm a la don’t settle for me. SO ANYWAYS, i would’ve wanted to see more of the show playing with the perception of heather’s superhuman emotional maturity. either she’s or a total hypocrite, awful in relationships, ditching people the way she ditches jobs and giving others the advice she knows she should follow herself OR she really is that mature, but she’s burnt out on always being expected to what to do, never being given the courtesy of being treated the way she treats everyone else. i could see an episode where we follow heather having an awful day, and then mid-episode, rebecca comes to her upset about her own romantic shenanigans. heather snaps at her, compounding rebecca’s self-hatred and rebecca spends the rest of the episode trying to making it up to her (doing the thing where she arbitrarily chooses someone to tell her she’s okay). while heather initially finds this annoying, she eventually decides to relish in being catered to. eventually, rebecca comes to an understanding of heather and the emotional burdens she carries and the episode ends with them on equal footing, sharing a glass of rose on the couch together, laughing about greg’s weird penis.

basically my ideal arc for heather would be her learning when it does and doesn’t benefit her to be chill (WHICH MEANS NO FREE REPRODUCTIVE LABOR FOR A MAN SHE BARELY KNOWS LOL). i want to see heather get upset and get emotional.

i would’ve liked more paula and heather. they’re both brilliant while being bored and frustrated with life. their interactions in the halloween episode were great.

i also would’ve wanted to see an episode where valencia and heather are pained up together (NOT JUST STANDING NEXT TO EACH OTHER!). valencia’s so high-strung and heather’s so chill, they really should’ve been foils for an episode!

i also would’ve liked an episode where heather’s ex-boyfriend zeke returns in her life for an episode. the episode treats heather and zeke’s relationship like something we’re invested in - music swells as heather sees this guy that we as the audience have never seen before. the relationship is totally unhealthy but it’s all framed romantically, frustrating even the most sentimental members of the audience. this gets paralleled to whatever dysfunctional shit rebecca is up to with nathaniel or greg that week.

the valencia stuff i’m not gonna go in as detail with since i’ve talked a lot more about valencia than heather in general. what i really would’ve liked to see with valencia is her dating for the first time as an adult. i don’t think the show had done nearly enough with the fact that josh and valencia a) where together since high school and b) where together for over ten years. you know that moment in “who’s the cool girl josh is dating?” where she just randomly picks a dude at the bar to sleep with because she needs to get laid and is like “eh, he’ll do.” ? that’s what i would hinge a valencia-starts-dating arc. she would be going out with guys and just find it boring and frustrating and maybe she’d arbitrarily chose one to be her boyfriend and all of her friends are confused and pushing back on her because she was going off on how ugly the guy was right after their date. heather tells valencia she’ll fix her problem and changes her tinder settings to show women. valencia isn’t open to it and changes them back but is shown swiping through women later. heather catches her and valencia admits to being intrigued by the idea of dating women. heather agrees to go on a gay double date with her so she doesn’t have to be alone. the double date majorly freaks out valencia because it’s three other women and she gets confused about whose her competition and who she’s attracted to her and she just reverts to her mean girl ways. this is where we start to untangle valencia’s internalized misogyny and the ways in which that’s contributed to her staying closeted. valencia’s arc should’ve been about her learning to understand her own desires.

also once valencia starts dating a woman, there’s a whole episode about how she’s afraid to eat pussy.

i’ve talked about this a lot but the way josh’s friends treated valencia needed to be addressed. valencia being bitchy to hector was great, but i also needed her to be bitchy to greg and whijo lmao.

i’m not sold on valencia being a wedding planner but it could’ve served as a great vehicle to interrogate valencia’s views on marriage and why she wanted to get married to josh so badly even though she often seems to despise him. like the episode where rebecca is trying to stop marty and ally from getting married and valencia’s mad at her because she’s trying to ruin one of her gigs? valencia should’ve also been supporting the marriage because she believes everyone’s miserable in marriage but it’s better than not getting married.

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tumblunni · 5 years

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Hmm thinking more about that old idea i had about one of those armybuilding strategy game things except you play as an alien virus invading earth. Make ur resources out of le peoples! Itd be kinda like splatoon crossed with..like..that card game in ff9? Flip a tile to your colour by defeating a human battalion, and get combos if other ones line up right. (Representing monsterified soldiers infecting their comrades) And then also once a tile is captured itd slowly gain resource points to represent being terraformed by the virus, with a funky visual change when its finished. You can spawn new units from these completed strongholds, without having to infect human bodies. (But these infinate access minions would be weaker to balance the gameplay)

Oh and also the virus hivemind's personality is a very cheerful and goofy mom figure who doesnt understand that what theyre doing is wrong. Just very lonely and wants to help everyone by bringing them into the hive. And doesnt really know how humans work so they end up as twisted monstrosities. Maybe represnet that in gameplay by infected units evolving after taking enough damage? Like the kind alien friend is trying to fix their lil buddies but only knows how their own biology works and not humans. So they do become stronger every time they get repaired, but they also get more beserk and dangerous.

Oh and also maybe have some special units who are people with a strong enough will to maintain some degree of personality within the virus hive? And they could be unkillable because that mind continues to resurface even when its body is destroyed, and can be rehoused in a new shell for the next fight. And then maybe by using one of them a lot and levelling it up youd be able to see visions of their human memories. And seeing all of these and forming attatchment with these people would help the virus understand the morality of what its doing, and maybe ultimately be potentially redeemable.

Oh and also your tutorial character would be "this one". A lil girl who was the first virus infectee, so her conciousness remains the most distinct within your collective. Her personality is very stoic and serious and more of what you'd expect from an evil virus, often being the rational voice to our protagonist's goofy "IM WANNA BE FREMDS BY ZOMBIEING THE ALL" nonsense. She also maintains a relatively humanoid shape compared to other "general" type units, since the virus is keeping this personality separate as a way of learning about humans. It also comes in handy to trick humans (which is usually the girl's idea cos the virus isnt really smart enough) Oh and she only calls herself "this one", as in "i'm just one of many bodies you assimilated, why would you need to know what name i used to have?" I think that kinda technically she's the cause of this whole catastrophe. She acts so emotionless and eager to give up her humanity because she was severely depressed at the time she met that "falling star" and became the first virus carrier. So because she was the first she became the template for how the virus sees humans, it just saw a suffering child and worried that everyone was suffering, and wanted to help! But its very confused and the only way it knows to help is to literally overwrite their minds with its happy peace energy. (And also occasionally additional limbs!) I think maybe the poor kid was being abused by her father and the alien virus actually saved her from him, so that's why she's so loyal to it and never wants to go back to being human. For her she really does think that "be happy but lose everything" is a worthwhile deal, she's just that desperate for a kind parental figure like this. Always dreamed of some fairy godmother whisking her away to a happier home, so maybe a sentient biohazard whisking her to space is good enough?

Anyway once goofy virus mom learns humanity and regrets their actions, the good ending would be them releasing everyone they infected and heading off back to space so they wont hurt anyone anymore. And the lil kid is still there, tugging at their sleeve. Please dont go! So maybe neither of them have to be alone, and maybe there's a way to solve sadness without burying it in artificial happiness. Maybe they could find that elusive true happiness together!

FBI guy: uhhh yeah we counted one more survivor than we're supposed to have?

Virus in a human disguise: i am just normalle momther, no suspicion here

And then lol.i dunno some sort of sitcom shenanigans with this abomination trying to blend in with the PTA group and support their daughter's piano recitals

Its a very random story. Im very tired.

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ithappenedinadreamcomic-blog · 7 years

Text

It Happened in a Dream! Part 2: Senpai Noticed (Finally)

Keywords: emo soldiers, the manic pixie dream girl trope, Star Wars, Star Trek references, shenanigans

Genre: Crack fiction, Comedy, Original Story, Original Characters in Canon Universe

Characters: Kylo Ren, Captain Phasma, General Hux, Supreme Leader Snoke, OCs

Rating: PG to PG-13

Trigger Warnings: Cursing, violence sometimes, sexual innuendos

Captain Phasma gave Melanie the option to return to her quarters to “freshen up” before reconvening for lunch. Phasma may have suggested as such because Melanie was not dressed to impress anyone, in her t-shirt and worn-out jeans (particularly not higher-ranking officials like Commander Kylo Ren), regardless of their being authentically Terran. Melanie took the hint and returned to her room to change.

Rather than deck herself out in her finest Elegant Gothic Lolita frillies, however, she opted for an even worse outfit choice. If the First Order thought they could control Melanie's behavior in any way, they had another thing coming. Somehow Melanie had escaped a Trump presidency, but she was not about to bow to another fascist government in his absence!

Melanie selected an oversized purple sweater with a giant cat face patch plastered to the front, a pleated skirt colored with a pink and purple space pattern, ripped and faded pink leggings, and black combat boots. She put on her best 90s accessories, mussed her curly auburn hair with a spritz of hairspray, and forwent makeup entirely.

“Whoa, gurl, you a hottie,” she said to the mirror, shooting finger guns at herself, and departed for the mess hall.

A pair of Stormtroopers passed Melanie punch-dancing down the hallway, and glanced to one another in confusion. Melanie Vasquez was sure to make some lucky scientist's research dissertation, hands down, a bestseller. In the end, it took Melanie about fifteen minutes of aimless wander-dancing to find the mess hell.

“What'd I miss?” she asked Frank, scooting her butt onto the surface of a table rather than sitting in a chair like a proper Terran lady.

Frank sighed. “Melanie, you are quite late. We are lucky that Commander Ren has not yet arrived, or you would have gotten all of us in trouble.”

“Relax, Darth Prozac isn't going to get mad. Trust me.”

“Who?”

“You know, Villain McNiceHair.”

Frank stared blankly.

Melanie snorted. “C'mon, Frank. You just mentioned him. Commander Ren.”

“That is not my name,” Frank stated. “Melanie, in all seriousness, you cannot call Commander Ren such names. You cannot. We have political immunity for the most part, yes, but if you truly offend him, it will all be for naught. He can easily ask for your head.”

“Oh, he can have a whole lot more than my head,” Melanie said.

“Excuse me?”

“What? I didn't say anything.”

As if on cue, Captain Phasma sidled up to the seated Terran and the perplexed Ethereum hovering next to her. “I have just received word that Commander Ren is on his way. He should be here in a couple of minutes. Prepare yourselves for a brief introduction upon his arrival.”

“Haha, brief,” Melanie laughed.

Captain Phasma raised her eyebrow.

“So, Captain Helmet, tell me a little about yourself,” Melanie said. “Have you been working for the Order long?”

“I grew up in the Order,” Phasma said, ignoring Melanie's new nickname for her.

Melanie considered asking if she had been abducted from Coruscant as a child, but thought better of it. She nodded instead.

“Captain Phasma is a very decorated officer,” Frank said, “She is third in command, under General Hux and Commander Ren.”

“Right, that is an accomplishment,” Melanie said with a grin. “You go, girl.”

Phasma appeared to be on the verge of smirking, but she battled with the angle of her mouth in an effort to maintain neutrality. Perhaps she often wore a helmet because she was more emotionally expressive than Armitage Hux or Kylo Ren, and as such, was far less immune to Melanie's antics. That, or she could hide her biological sex under the silver armor and flashy cape.

“I hear that you are a chemical engineer on your planet, Ms. Vasquez,” Phasma said. “You must be intelligent...For a Terran.”

“Ouch, so close to a compliment,” Mel laughed. “I guess I have to try harder if we're going to be friends.”

Phasma blinked. “Friends?”

“Well, obviously. I'm going to need friends if I'm going to be in Sky River for a while.” Melanie smiled brightly at the Amazonian soldier, who was taller than her even while sitting on a high table.

“I am not sure if that is...allowed.”

“It will be.”

“Oh?” was Phasma's simple response. And she did not have time to add to it, as the metallic doors to the mess hall slid ajar.

Melanie's heart skipped a beat, but she did not glance over her shoulder to see who entered the room. She already knew. The game had started at last. It was happening. Oh Emperor Palpatine, it was finally happening!

Captain Phasma straightened and saluted with one hand. Her other hand clasped her helmet to her side. “Commander Ren, welcome.”

No response. But Melanie heard the rustle of fabric moving up from behind her. She sat awkwardly still and rigid, but her lips split into an enormous grin. As Commander Ren approached, she felt the tendrils of an invisible force prodding her mind suddenly. Or, more accurately, the Force. It was a bizarre sensation. Midichlorians were not a part of her biology because the Force did not exist in the Milky Way, so she wondered how it was possible for her to feel it at all.

“Captain Phasma.”

Melanie shivered. She glanced furtively to her right, amber eyes falling to Kylo Ren's dark boots, and looked away. So close. It took all of her willpower to keep her mind from plunging straight into her fantasies and revealing everything. Instead, Melanie considered manatees. What is it like to hug a manatee? Also, do fish dream? Did thoughts linger behind their cold, dead eyes?

Kylo Ren bristled at the sight of Frank. Frank appeared none too pleased as well.

“Faseemke'Sahndhran,” Kylo Ren's robotic voice said. “It has been a while.”

Frank's wispy head inclined. “Commander Ren. I hope you are well.”

“I am sorry to make you wait. I have just returned from a mission,” said Ren. There was a drawn out, pensive silence. “Is this the Terran?”

Every nerve of Melanie's body sang triumphantly.

“Yes. Subject #347. She arrived here three months ago, and we have been preparing for her debut ever since.”

“Hm.”

Melanie bit down a smile, keeping her eyes firmly glued to the ground. What about jellyfish? They didn't have brains. Did they think?

“Melanie, please introduce yourself to Commander Ren.” Frank's voice wavered. He sounded nervous.

Captain Phasma tilted her head, regarding the frozen Melanie. “It is possible she is frightened by the mask,” she offered.

Kylo Ren hesitated, but a mechanic hiss a few moments later alerted Melanie to his decision.

“What is your name, Terran?” asked Kylo's deep, humanoid voice.

Melanie summoned up her courage, and stared straight into Kylo Ren's ultra-broody, yet glorious face.

He was incredibly pale, and extremely handsome despite his too-big noise and various moles dotting his skin. His thick brow was furrowed at her, forehead wrinkled deep with thought, or maybe frustration. And God, his hair. He had sultry, ebony waves of hair down to the base of his neck. He met her gaze with coal-black eyes, and held it with an effortless, immense power. Melanie nearly swooned clear off of the table. She immediately snapped her thoughts away from his appearance and to... Eels! Weren't eels technically snakes?

“Melanie...” Frank nudged Melanie's shoulder with an airy arm. “Please answer Commander Ren.”

“Melanie Vasquez,” she said abruptly. “My name is Melanie Vasquez.”

Melanie tried to remind herself that none of this was real. As hot as Kylo Ren seemed, he was only a figment of her imagination. It was just her coma fantasy, trying to indulge her with fan service.

“Melanie Vasquez,” Kylo repeated. He kept staring--no, glaring--at her. And God, was he tall. Taller than Phasma by a couple of inches, at least. Melanie was only, like, 5'3”!

“Call me 'Mel',” she said. She suddenly grinned.

Frank was clearly taken aback by the drastic change in Melanie's behavior. He tried to carry the conversation further. “Do you have any questions for Melanie, Commander Ren?”

“Has she been questioned?” Kylo asked, turning to Phasma. She nodded.

“Then, no. I have other matters to attend to. After I eat, I will be on my way.”

“What do you like to eat, Kylo?” Melanie asked.

Kylo Ren did a double take of Mel. He frowned.

“Please ignore her, Commander Ren!” Frank pleaded, floating in front of Melanie and raising his ghostly arms in alarm. “Terrans are very chatty, and her, especially so. I admit, it can be obnoxious! Go eat, please. Pay her no mind.”

“No,” Mel said. She crossed her arms like a petulant child. “I want to talk to him.”

“Subject #347, stop. Commander Ren is very busy. He does not have time to entertain you.”

“Yes he does.”

“Melanie!”

Kylo Ren held up a gloved hand abruptly to silence Frank.

“What?” he asked, fixing her with his dark eyes once again. “What is it that you wish to say?”

Melanie Vasquez immediately broke into song. She held her arms out on either side as she raised her voice. Everyone in the mess hall stopped what they were doing and turned to look at the impromptu Terran songbird.

She was not particularly good at singing, either.

“Hey little mooonster, I got my eye on yoouuuu~

Where are you gooooing, where are you running toooo?

I got love on my fiiingers, and lust on my tooongue!

You say you've got nooothing, so come out and get soo~oome.

Heartache to heartache, I'm your wolf, your woman!

I say run, little mooonster, before you know who I am!”

Phasma and Kylo Ren's jaws both dropped, even as the song continued Frank's would have, too, if he'd had one. This crazy Terran was actually serenading Commander Ren!

When Melanie finally finished, Kylo Ren said nothing. The astounded onlookers noted that it was the first time they had ever seen their commander rendered speechless.

Melanie took advantage of Kylo Ren's muteness and pointed her index finger directly in his face. He flinched back an inch, but otherwise remained dumbfounded.

“KYLO REN, I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!” Melanie yelled. “AND THAT'S WHY I, MELANIE VASQUEZ OF THE PLANET EARTH, CHALLENGE YOU--”

The entire room gasped.

“--TO SURVIVE ONE ROMANTIC DATE WITH ME!”

The room gasped louder.

Captain Phasma stared blankly, shell shocked. Frank, despite having any facial features whatsoever, appeared to be on the brink of fainting. The other Ethereum some tables away huddled closer, whispering among themselves. Every other soldier and First Order official in the mess hall could not seem to decide whether to laugh or cry. No one, Terran or other, had ever openly flirted with their genocidal commander before.

Was this a moment for the Sky River history books?

Maybe. Maybe!

Kylo Ren's eyelids fluttered in confusion.

Oh, no! Had the Terran successfully broken him?!!

“I....I do not understand,” he said finally.

First this 'Melanie Vasquez' had sung nonsense to him, and now she was...Asking to court him? What?

“Just think about it,” Melanie said, “I mean, I'm only the least threatening person in this room! It's not like you have anything to lose!”

Kylo Ren staggered back a couple of steps. His right hand flew to his forehead. He rubbed his temples, trying to formulate a response. He had been challenged many times before, but this? This was different. What were her intentions? Should he attempt to probe her mind with the Force again? He had only seen absurd images and content there so far, but surely there was something logical underneath all that!

Commander Ren had been quiet too long. He had to say something. Anything. And so he attacked the first flaw that came to mind: her appearance. Tacky, whimsically-colored clothing, frumpy animal tunic. Unladylike posture, sitting disrespectfully on a First Order table. Short stature, pudgy build. Sunken, tired eyes. No makeup. Unkempt, boyish hairstyle. Somewhat adorable—wait, what?! No!

“...And you challenge me to this...'Date'...While dressed like that? How dare--”

“Hey, it's better than what I was wearing yesterday!” Melanie said.

Kylo Ren paused. He lowered his hand.

“...What were you wearing yesterday?”

“A tiger onesie.”

Kylo Ren narrowed his eyes.

“What is...a 'tiger onsie'?”

“Oh, it's a jumpsuit you wear while sleeping, shaped like a cute animal from my planet!”

'…What?'

Frank immediately blocked Melanie from Kylo Ren's sight. He addressed her frantically.

“Subject #347, I believe we have overstayed our welcome. We should return to our research vessel now. Besides, you need to rest! Today must have been an ordeal for you.”

“Ugh, really?” Mel asked. “Boooooriiiinnnng. Ohhkaaayy... If I must.” She glanced towards the fourth wall and winked.

Melanie hopped off the table and made a show of dusting herself off. “Well, Darth Prozac, it's been real. We will meet again, since I need to get that answer from you soon.” She headed for the exit with Frank and a cluster of worried Ethereum on her tail.

“W-Wait a minute,” Kylo Ren called after them, in a voice too weak to be heard.

And with that, Melanie Vasquez and her alien entourage was gone, leaving everyone in the room to wonder what had just happened...Including Commander Kylo Ren.

#It happened in a dream #it happened in a dream comic #it happened in a dream fic #crack fic #crack fiction #Star Wars The Force Awakens #star wars #the first order #melanie #kylo ren #general hux #captain phasma #it is just a joke guys

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