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#feitan x read
spaceydoo · 1 year
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MAKE HIM MOAN
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feitan may seem like a man of a few words but when you’re in bed he knows every word in the dictionary to turn you on. it’s like he’s a completely different person when he’s pounding you into oblivion.
“ah- shit you feel so warm” feitan says as you slowly start going down on his dick in riding position as he layed down flat on his back. you said you would be the dominant one this time just to try something new which he honestly didn’t care about. as long as he was getting fucked, he was happy.
you were completely in him at this point but just to mess with him a little you planted kisses on his lips to see his reaction of you not moving. he wanted to fuck into you badly but didn’t cuz he’s a man of his word. sometimes.
“the fuck are you doing.” he said staring at you coldly. you didn’t want him take over just yet by making him mad so you started grinding first then started bouncing like no tomorrow. you leaned back grabbing his legs for support and continued to bounce.
“you’re so fucking tight- ah- you’re doing such a good- job” he said in between moans. you wanted to mess with him more by stopping him from cumming by slowing down drastically because he stopped your orgasm the last time you had sex.
“did i tell you to stop? keep on going. what? you can’t handle it? guess i’ll have too fuck you silly myself to teach you a lesson.” he said as he sat up, you still being in him. he did break his promise about you being the dominant one but at that moment he didn’t care. he then grabbed your waist and moved your hips up and down on his cock at crazy speed, earning multiple moans from you. you wrapped your legs around him to feel him better as feitan stared into your eyes.
“you like when i fuck you sliiy? yeah? tell me how much you want it.”
“i wan- i want- ah”
“speak up princess so i know what you want.”
“i want you to fuck me stupid fei!” you said moaning out loud.
feitan always seemed to know exactly where to fuck you to make you collapse and he loved seeing you crumble in his touch.
your eyes were rolled back enjoying the noises your pussy was making and his dick touching all the right places. fei was sweating and looked dazed by aware at the same. his moans and praises were sending you off the edge and his high was coming as well. your body looked so beautiful to him he hugged you and hid his face in the crook of your neck as he came in you muttering praises and moans while your orgasm came as well.
“i love you so much y/n- mhh ah-“ he struggled to say in between moans. he never expressed this much love to you in bed which caught you off guard. all your juices soaked his cock as you finished cumming.
“princess look at the mess you made. don’t worry ill clean you up.” you we’re still panting when you got off him and layed on the bed.
“what was all the moaning about? you should do that more often it’s hot” you said as you finally regained your senses.
he shot you menacing a glare signaling to you to shut the fuck up which you instantly did.
he brought you a towel and cleaned you and him up. he stared at you the whole time which made you a little embarrassed when you were going to grab the sheets to cover your self when he stopped you.
“i just love staring at my girlfriend what’s the big issue? i’ve seen you like this many times.” he knew he was getting you flustered and he thought it was so amusing.
“nothings wrong i just don’t like you staring.” you said with an attitude.
“drop the attitude.” feitan said as he glared at you
“or else what fei?” you said in a joking tone to get under his skin
“or imma fuck it out of you”
let’s just say that attitude of yours was never seen again after this
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your-favourite-plague · 8 months
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I impulsively upgraded my Clip Studio Paint to EX so I'm learning animation to make it worth it
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mamayan · 10 months
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YANDERE! FEITAN PORTER X DARLING!
TOUCH
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⚠️ This is a work of fiction with content I do not condone in reality. This is not meant to encourage or represent any type or sort of conduct. This is merely just fantasy ⚠️
MDNI•18+
Trigger warnings!
This work contains: Yandere content/intentions•NSFW•Kidnapping•Holding against will (darling)•Cursing•Mentions of abuse/torture•Stockholm Syndrome•General depravity•Obsessive tendencies•Sexual acts (consensual but darling is psychologically not sound of mind to be consenting, so somewhat dubcon)•Oral•fem darling•Somnophilia
You have been properly warned and notified of what this work contains. If anything above offends or triggers you, please do not continue reading. Don’t make me waste my time writing all this out only for someone to read and get offended when all the warning literally tell them what is in this. You reading this confirms you are 18+ years of age, meaning a consenting adult agreeing to proceed and consume this content, do not come after me or report me because you aren’t capable of managing yourself.
I appreciate support and love from anyone viewing and enjoying my content. Thank you♥️ I freakin’ love this 1999 anime artwork of Feitan!
*・゜゚・*:.。..。.:*・*:.。. .。.:*
Time suddenly seemed to become irrelevant.
The days passed in a mundane blur, and at some point, everything seemed worthless.
He mentioned in passing that it was November now, though you’d stopped asking the date a few months after your imprisonment. You stopped talking nearly all together these last few months. You couldn’t be entirely sure the last you’d spoken more than a word or two in response to his questions. His own speech minimal, though occasionally you’d catch a glimpse of his chattier side. Even that still couldn’t be considered talkative, more of a normal amount of speech when in a conversation. You haven’t seen that in a while either, maybe it disappeared when you’d stopped your own blubbering and whining. You didn’t ask questions at all anymore. It was pointless and had little meaning.
He sat in his usual spot.
Perched in the corner of the room, eyes sharply trained on your form as always.
His eyes used to unnerve you, riddle you with anxiety and fear of what he was planning. What he might do. What he will do.
It mattered hardly at all at this point.
You’d senselessly begged once, for it all to stop and for him to just kill you already. That’s what he must’ve had planned in the end, for what else did he want with you? An object to admire?
It seemed mad in it’s own way, that thought. Your questions of something or anything personal went unanswered and occasionally punished with weeks of isolation. It was better not to pry.
Asking for mercy and a faster death only brought a wrath you didn’t know lay inside him down upon you.
It was the first time he became physical with you, touched you more than was the bare minimum of necessity. He was surprisingly warm. Except his touch at that time was anything but the usual gentleness you now realized he used with you. His unforgiving grip on your face as he dragged you to your knees, the absolute agony of having your jaw fractured. The pain was unbearable, and even now left phantom pains radiating down your body. He’d dragged you out the front door, for the first time in what seemed to be forever.
Outside was duller than your mind remembered.
You’d been thrown into a vehicle and taken somewhere new.
You’d never wished to take back words more than you did that day. He’d dragged you to some sort of… torture facility. Chained you in a corner and left you there for hours on end. Nervous and frightened, you waited and waited. When he did return, it wasn’t alone. Someone you’d never met was dragged in, strapped down to a table.
Feitan had never really demonstrated anything so frightening before. He’d been somewhat volatile and brash, but the sadistic side never revealed itself like it did that day.
A day turned into several, and for nearly a week you were made to watch his sessions as he called them. Where he’d laugh like a maniac as he turned living humans into creatures you pitied more than yourself. He’d wipe their blood on you, smile as you trembled and begged for it to stop.
When he finally heeded your pleas, he asked a question that left you numb.
“Still want to die?”
You didn’t want to die anymore, at least not by his hand. He knew no mercy. He had no grievance tearing someone apart and from the inside out. The events that followed spanned longer than you bothered to keep track of anymore. He brought you back to your “home” where you were kept locked away. You had a bed, blankets and pillows, clothes and food, clean water and hygiene products. You’d never appreciated a bed like you did that first night back before. The softness and warmth you felt made tears roll down your cheeks and you had thanked him for returning you. It was the first genuine gratitude you’d ever shown to him.
You glanced up from the TV running a show you barely processed to catch his gaze. Those grey orbs holding emotion you couldn’t name or had never seen. He was always so still, and his porcelain features gave him the feel of a doll. For a moment, you merely held his gaze, feeling oddly calm and panicked all at once. Why you felt panicked didn’t make sense, nor why you’d feel calm in the presence of what seemed to be the Grim Reaper himself. The only movement he made to acknowledge your attention was a slight quirk to his brow. His usually ignored but always open book in his hand closing. His face mostly covered left you little to go off to how he felt. You’d gotten somewhat good at interpreting even the tiniest hint of emotion from him, but currently with your own frazzled feelings, figuring out his wasn’t working.
Your legs were pulled to your chest, arms wrapped around them as you settled into a protected fleshy ball. The blanket on your shoulders helping ground you slightly.
Only a little.
“What?” His voice was raspy, his own lack of use evident.
It didn’t sound annoyed, though you could just be misinterpreting this entire interaction.
It felt odd to speak, your mouth slightly cottony and dry, but the urge in your chest felt strangely compelled to say his name.
“Fei” You’d judged his voice, but your own was just as bad.
His eyes widened slightly, though aside from somewhat visible surprise, you were in the dark on how he’d feel about a nickname. You’d given your captor a nickname long ago, though never voiced it aloud. Feitan… Fei felt less threatening.
Feitan is darkness and fear. Feitan tore your life away from you, terrorized you, imprisoned and controlled nearly every little aspect of your life down to your very diet. Feitan is the infamous torturer of the Phantom Troupe.
Fei… well, in your own mind, Fei had become a fictional sort of character. Fei was gentle, Fei listened when you spoke or rambled, and in your dreams Fei would touch you. You hadn’t felt much of any contact in so long, and the last time had left a physically and psychologically painful memory behind. In your dreams, Fei would hold you, touch and caress, Fei was quiet but powerful. You knew it wasn’t healthy, but nothing happening to you or around you was healthy. The mental sickness and insanity most certainly was tickling around your mind.
You’d tested boundaries early with Feitan.
Screaming, kicking, fighting, escape attempts, refusal to eat or comply… were all met with isolation and revoking of privileges. Asking for death was met with nightmares and aching pain that still bothered you when it was too cold.
You’d tried manipulation and coercion, neither you excelled in though. Feitan may be quiet, and occasionally his grammar is less than exemplary, but he is no fool. All attempts ended in… nothing. He did absolutely nothing. He was like a stone wall, impenetrable. Even now, you knew nothing of his intentions. Your only guess at this point, as out of place and ridiculous as it may sound, is companionship. He likely saw you as a pet of sorts, like one might “rescue” a cat off the street. The treatment you receive is rather similar too. In his eyes, maybe you were just like a cat to him. A weak kitty he plucked off the cold streets and gave a warm home. It used to be a thought which invoked fury, but now…
You wished he’d commit to all acts of a pet owner. This included giving affection. You craved it. Missed it. Needed it. Something. A weird and warbled voice in your mind said you’d even accept the negative attention if it meant he’d put his hands on you again. It’s a suicidal thought, but even as his gaze narrowed, you couldn’t stop your body.
He’s silent as always, as you uncurl from your position you’d taken as your usual way to cope. Holding yourself helped, but it’s be better if someone else did it. He didn’t make any indication your nickname offended him.
Shaking, you stood on weak legs and began a pursuit of something you’d never thought you’d even entertain. He was across the room, and while he was by no means a big man, his presence could be suffocating when up close. Gracelessly and with little tact in your actions, you approached until you could smell him. He always smelled like mint and something metallic. For once, the thought of the underlying scent being blood didn’t bother you. He smelled nice, and while his entire body language was closed off and reserved, he still hadn’t even twitched.
He just kept observing you.
Even as you sank down to your knees in front of where he sat.
Those sharp eyes followed you the entire way. When the realization of what you wanted to do came, you weren’t bombarded with the expected humiliation or shame. There wasn’t guilt or disgust like you used to feel when these feelings would arise.
Maybe it signaled you were too far gone to save anymore.
“Fei” his name left your lips again, and for the first time, his rapt attention felt good. It felt good to have him so focused on you. You watched as his head tilted slightly, his face hidden but you could somewhat fantasize about a soft smile playing on his lips behind the fabric of his collar. His favorite jacket always a staple in his clothing collection.
“What?” The way he asked proved he wasn’t revolted at your proximity. He didn’t seem to be asking what you were doing, but rather why you called his name.
“Touch me?” Though you’d phrased it like a question, it bordered precariously on being a demand. You probably looked ridiculous, kneeling at his feet and staring up at him like a sick puppy looking for even the smallest amount of attention. You should be avoiding him, trying to get away, doing anything but this. The only thing you felt though was fear of rejection. That he’d cackle like he does on the phone occasionally, with someone named Shalnark or Phinks, or like he did when he removed the hands of an artist and found humor in the irony. He didn’t answer immediately like he normally would with a direct question. This couldn’t possibly be considered a personal question that he enjoys avoiding, it has only to do with you.
“Please…” you sounded pathetic, even to yourself. The way your bottom lip pouted out and wobbled, the way your eyes watered a little as if you’d cry at any moment, the way you trembled. You didn’t want to grab onto his pant leg, still mindful that a kick from him could easily be your undoing. You’d have to wait till given permission. A pet is what he wants, right?
You could finally be hitting that special point of breaking.
This could be another delusion you’d conjured up and you’re moments away from a lot of pain or isolation again. It’s impossible to tell. No power rested in your hands, and that small realization had tears rolling down your cheeks as you looked at the man who’d reduced you to this mess.
Begging him for measly scraps of what should be your right. Humans needed the physical contact for their health, and while he was clearly the devil, you needed it. Needed him. Needed anything.
“Fei please… I’ll be good, whatever you want, please… I need- hck!” Your sobs were cut short as your body moved faster than your mind could process. You’d nearly bitten into your tongue as you choked for breath, unable to fully comprehend exactly what happened.
The leggings and sweater you wore weren’t warm at all to you. Even blankets seemed to have a chill that seeped through them. Right now though, warmth was creeping through your clothes as mint and copper flooded your senses. He’d pulled you into his lap. The realization was shocking, but the next thought was thrown away when thin strong arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you into his chest.
“Oh” words died on your lips as a sensation you couldn’t name overcame you. You’d never realized how stiff you were until your body began to relax. Fully relax. “Oh…” it came out breathy and nearly excited, as you foolishly wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your face in the crook of it.
This was insanity.
He was all muscle unsurprisingly, but it didn’t deter you from trying to mold yourself to him. Your much softer figure held in his arms so gently it made a new wave of tears threaten to spill for all new reasons. You straddled him, front flush against his own, as you struggled to accept that you were being held right now.
“This?” His voice so close to your ear had a strange tingling sensation move from your neck down your spine. The shiver didn’t go unnoticed, as his hold tightened and pressed you further against him. It wasn’t necessarily the most pleasant way to be held, but it was many times better than nothing. You nodded against him, mumbling out a soft good as you basked in a moment of joy you hadn’t experienced in what seemed like forever. It felt good to be held.
It felt even better when his hand moved and brushed through your hair. His touch light and careful, and you could imagine how he was noting every little detail of your reactions. The shivers and little sighs you released as he continued to just pet, touch, and hold you.
For once, you dreaded him stopping.
Even as your eyes grew heavy and body went limp in his arms, you dreaded when this would end. If you could just figure a way to keep him like this, you could envision your life being bearable.
“Fei” you didn’t make any effort to move.
“Hmm” his chest vibrated a little with his hum.
“Can I sleep with you?” It didn’t take a genius to realize your question caused him to tense. His muscles tightening up and panic seeping into your system as you worry this took it too far. You both slept separately unless absolutely necessary, something you used to be grateful for and now hated. It was always freezing when you slept, no matter how warm it actually was.
You might’ve ruined his grace, overstepped if anything, but you needed to stay close to him physically. It wasn’t a want anymore but a necessity.
“Yes” his word both shocked and elated you, and with a few more gentle pats in his arms, you were asleep.
Your cunt throbbed and ached, your lower belly pulled tight inside like a string about to snap. You tried closing your legs, whining as the hot wet sensation continued despite the light struggle you began to put up. It felt good, whatever dream you were having, even as the scent of mint and soap surrounded you.
Small whimpers and gasps became heavy panting as you felt raw heavy pleasure blossom in your core. Something prodded your entrance, wiggling bit by bit till you were penetrated and stretched on something long and hard. It moved and rubbed inside you. The warm pressure on your clit only pulling you further.
It was heaven, even as a slight burn inside had you back to whining and arching your back as your cunt stretched to allow something else inside. Fingers?
The thought was gone as the pleasure radiated throughout your whole body.
It wouldn’t be the first wet dream you’d had, but it was the most realistic. The hot breath on your sensitive clit and twitching insides felt real, and the pleasure was so crisp. Your hands curled into the sheets, struggling between sleep and the impending orgasm threatening to take you.
Your eyes popped open as you came, body twisting as a sharp moan punctuated the air.
You were awake and finally realizing this wasn’t a delusion or dream. Someone was lapping at your cunt, your thighs held open and pinned by two pale hands. The sensitivity and slight bewilderment of the situation had you struggling to form a coherent thought.
“Fei-Feitan…?” If there was one thing you knew with perfect certainty, it was that he’d never leave you alone long enough for someone to find you and do this. It couldn’t be anyone else. Though the fact he was doing this was even more incomprehensible. He seemed so disgusted by touch, so detached from human emotions, it really never occurred to you that he’d have normal human urges. He was still lapping at your cunt, even as your eyes locked with his own, even darker in the barely lit room you realized was his own. You were in his bed, with his head buried between your legs, and his eyes locked on you.
“Fei!” A weaker orgasm than the first was torn from you as you came again, sensitivity skyrocketing when he still continued to lick and suck on your clit. The room was spinning slightly, and your naked body began to cool a little as you sweat. He’d stripped you. He must’ve, but things weren’t really connecting in your mind as white hot pleasure was turning mildly painful.
“Too much!” You gasped and you had to force your hands to stay tangled in the sheet to not touch him. Your eyes watered and you made a pitiful sight with your darkening cheeks and open panting mouth. As your back arched to avoid his mouth, a sharp slap to your outer thigh had you yelping in pain.
His eyes narrowed, and it wasn’t hard to see he became annoyed with your squirming.
“Shut up.” His tone was low, no room for arguing or protest as you bit your lip to do as you were told. Trembling under him as he raised up to stare down at you between your spread legs. He looked gorgeous, something you hated to admit. His dark hair mildly tussled and pale skin a little flushed, his signature jacket gone. This wasn’t the first you’d seen his naked chest, but it was certainly a rare occasion. His pants were still on but unbuttoned. His lips were the most sinful aspect, still glossy from your release. It was agonizing to be silent.
You should cry and beg for him to stop.
Instead you found your legs spreading just a bit wider as you looked up at him like he was your personal deity.
Debauched.
His slow and condescending smirk only made your breathing harder, chest tightening with anticipation and lust. He snorted, hand moving to spread your cunt open as he spit on it. You were panting now, barely following his order to stay quiet. It was difficult when you wanted to beg, for more, for him, to be touched.
“This what you wanted? Whore.” His crude words didn’t make this any less arousing, especially as he unzipped his pants and pulled his cock free. He was larger than you’d have ever expected, though it hardly mattered as he lined himself up and began pushing into your unused hole. Despite the wetness and prep, it was slightly painful as he filled you. The heaviness inside coupled with the burn was delicious as your hips moved to take more of him, deeper. You couldn’t help the moan, the way your body shook and hands finally moved to touch him.
He was fast in securing both your wrists in one hand to pin above your head, his hips finally kissing the back of your thighs. You felt him twitch inside you, and it drove you wild.
“Please Fei, oh-!” His hand came down on your thigh again, before he pulled his hips back and slammed into you. Your head goes back as you arch into him and moan louder, as he begins a brutal pace that has your chest moving in rhythm with his thrusts. His tip kissing your cervix has you unwinding into a submissive mess of whining and pleas. You didn’t even know what you were begging for.
You either annoyed or aroused him further when he sneered and used his free hand to grip your jaw, thankfully not roughly as it ached nonetheless, forcing you to open wide before spitting into your mouth. He laughed when you clenched down harder, feeling the coil in your stomach tightening again as the pleasure increased.
“Pretty slut likes being my bitch.” He hardly seemed out of breath despite how hard you were panting. You felt a bit unfair at how unfazed he seemed, but similarly proud at how he gazed down at you. Like you made him pleased. His gaze wasn’t sharp, even bordering on warm despite how roughly he was fucking into you. All you could do was moan his name and beg.
Like a good little pet.
You could feel your orgasm coming again, and you’d meant to tell him, but his lips against yours shocked you silly. You didn’t even bother closing your mouth, Feitan easily slipping his tongue inside and kissing you so sensually it had you coming on his cock. You could only whine into his mouth as his speed picked up and you became overwhelmed.
He pulled away as a string of saliva connected you two for a moment before breaking. He licked his lips before focusing on where the two of you were joined. Watching his cock disappear in your sopping wet little cunt. It was filthy and erotic.
“Pathetic” his words were cruel but he looked beyond pleased as he looked at your fucked out expression. Unable to even form words as he continued to bully your poor pussy. It was laughable to him, how sweet you are now, how obedient and submissive you’ve finally become. All that fight and control gone, and in its place you lay now.
He’d never tell you out loud how perfect you are. How absolutely precious he finds your attempts to run away from all the pleasure he’s giving you.
His training has been worth while, making you everything he wants and more. Though he’d hated the power you held over him, having you now, moaning as he drills your cunt and begging for more, takes away the shame. You were his weren’t you? Then anything he wanted to do was fine, it wasn’t shameful to fuck his toy. Especially when she whined and arched her back up to take him in even deeper, when she cried and came again around him.
Feitan saw you as much more than a measly pet. Those were replaceable. No, you were just his, whatever he wants you to be, but still his. That’s why when he wraps his hand around your pretty neck and squeezes, he’s beyond thrilled at how you relax. You throw caution to the wind and give him everything. He’s not cutting off oxygen, but enough blood flow and air to keep you light headed and disoriented.
“Who do you belong to?” He knows you can hardly tell up from down right now. He knows how good he’s fucking you. Reducing you to this beautiful mess of feeling only. He’s still him though, and it brings him only pleasure to add in another few painful smacks to your bruising thighs. “Answer slut” he asks again, being thrown for a power trip as you choke out, “You!” to him.
His balls tightening signal he’s close, and the thought alone is enough to amuse him.
“Going to cum inside.” His words don’t register immediately to you, he can tell, but it seems all reality isn’t gone from you when your eyes widen.
“I-I- pregnant! I’ll get-“ he cuts you off with a chuckle, hand squeezing your throat enough to shut you up as he savors the sounds of wet squelching echoing in tune with his thrusts.
“My personal cock sleeve doesn’t get to talk.” The struggle you put up is worthless, but entertaining as he really does cum inside you, a soft grunt his only indication of release and overwhelming pleasure. Emptying himself inside and filling you with him. Marking you, painting you inside, signally you belong to him in every way now.
You lay exhausted and sore in his bed, cold as the various liquids dry on your skin and Feitan leaves.
Where he goes it doesn’t matter. You let yourself lay for a little longer before deciding it’s best not to anger him by staying in his space. You move to sit up, wincing as your intimate areas ache, but pushing forward nonetheless to get cleaned up and change his sheets and any mess left behind.
You hate the hollow ache in your chest the most. You look at your thighs to see his cum leaking out of you, and a sliver of dread echoes in your mind that you truly could become pregnant. The possibilities too much for you to handle right now, as you shakily slide off the bed to stand on wobbly legs. He could be back any moment, and it’s best you get to work early. You work on removing the sheets, just as the bedroom door opens to reveal a fresh Feitan, his signature jacket in place as he holds a glass of water.
“What are you doing?” His question is asked in a slightly lower tone that usual, and you quickly freeze in place.
“I-I’m cleaning up…?” You don’t mean to sound hesitant, but this situation is new and will require months of careful inquisition to avoid punishment under his hand. You knew better than to continue any task without his go ahead though.
You stand in silence as he observes you with a scrutinizing gaze.
“Come here” his order is curt, and while it terrifies you, you are quick to stumble over to him despite still being naked and filthy. You hate how badly you must look, barely able to walk while he is up and about his usual day as if nothing even happened. To him maybe nothing did happen, this being just the same as making a sandwich, and you wished the thought didn’t hurt. Maybe this would just be a new pain to live with, and the sooner you accepted that, the better your pathetic existence would be.
You stand just before him, fingers twisting around each other as you stay with your head bowed to stare at his feet while you concentrated on staying upright despite how difficult it felt for your hips and legs to support you.
“Not hard enough?” His words confused you, as you peaked up beneath your lashes to look at him curiously.
“I-I don’t understand…”
“Didn’t fuck you hard enough?” You froze in shock and slight fear, because what did that mean? He fucked you too hard in your personal opinion, and your poor slit agreed.
“Y-you did though…?” You were unsure of what was happening, his gaze not giving anything away.
“Get back on the bed. I didn’t say I was done with you.” Your eyes widened, taking a moment too long to register what he said before his foot took a step closer to you and you scrambled back onto the sheet-less bed in a panic. He paused, observing you again, before tilting his head.
“Next time I’m done with you, don’t move” he’s undoing his pants again, and moving towards you.
“I’ll fuck you good this time.” His words menacing and mean, and you’re left with little wiggle room as he closes in.
It’s his job after all to clean you up and piece you back together, and if you can fix yourself when he’s done, he clearly didn’t a good job the first round.
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bwabys-scenarios · 12 days
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Can we see a chubby!reader who maybe doesn't know that Feitan is part of the phantom troupe, so she doesn't think Feitan can carry her but then he proves her wrong (maybe with a little bit of angst because she's self conscious, and then comfort because Feitan loves that there's more of her)
Idk if that made sense
Perfect
Feitan x Chubby!Fem!Reader
!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!
A/N: another short one… but I like it!! Join my server !!
warnings: insecure reader, a bit of internalized misogyny
SFW: @lightshowerrr @jungtoast @nenggie @aliceattheart @atransmuter
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You had been dating Feitan for nearly a year now, and you still knew so little about him. His whereabouts while he was out of town were a mystery to you, and you had no idea what he did for work. All you did know was that he didn’t have a normal job.
When you jokingly asked him if he was in the mafia, he scoffed. “Mafia bunch of puss- wimps. Not part of it, not by long shot.”
You were a little perturbed by his answer, but couldn’t help laughing at the way he censored himself for your sake. He seemed to see you as some kind of delicate princess, closer to a porcelain doll than human. Feitan was always extremely gentle when touching you, his hands almost hesitant when making contact with your skin.
This was something you didn’t understand. Throughout your life, people viewed you as bigger, tougher, when in reality you were quite easily hurt, both physically and mentally. The topic of your weight had been a sore subject…
But your Fei wasn’t really good with reading social cues.
“Eat good. Here, for big girl.”
You stared at your boyfriend as he used his chopsticks to drop an extra egg roll on your plate. In your mind, you know he meant nothing by it. He was friends with larger people like Uvogin who ate tons to keep up his strength and figure.
But your heart felt hurt. You pushed your plate away and huffed. “Hmph.”
He was bad about assuming things, even if you knew it Feitan wasn’t being malicious, it still hurt your feelings when he assumed random things because of your body type.
But what you didn’t know, was that Feitan wasn’t assuming anything. You were his girlfriend, he had to provide for you and make sure you ate well. In meteor city, having meat on your bones usually meant you were well taken care of, and all he wanted to do was make sure you ate.
Feitan, though… he wasn’t good at communicating that. Or communicating at all, really, so he just stared as you pushed away the food. He scoffed, slightly offended that you turned down his offer.
“Why huff? Being brat.”
You sniffled, standing up and storming off. Feitan wouldn’t let this slide, he hated seeing you upset.
The dark haired man caught your wrist, squeezing with just enough force to catch your attention. “Why act like this? Made you mad?”
You pouted, puffing out your chubby cheeks. “Mmph… it’s embarrassing. You’re thin and I’m not… aren’t girls supposed to be dainty and small? Isn’t that what you would prefer, someone you could easily pick up?”
You wiped the tears from your eyes, not daring to look back at your lover.
But you didn’t have to look, because he turned you around and began lifting you with ease. Once you were in the air, he held onto your ass, squeezing softly. You squeaked and immediately wrapped your plump thighs around his waist for support, your cheeks burning with embarrassment.
“See? Easy. My little bunny.”
He held you in his arms, not straining or struggling in the slightest. It was like you weighed nothing at all to him and it was… relieving.
“Can’t understand? You… are mine.”
He huffed, sitting down with you in his lap, his arms wrapped around your waist. “We clear?”
You snuggled him, burying your teary face into his neck. “Yeah…”
Feitan tried to be a bit more sensitive with you after that, and made it a point to carry you around and show you off to his friends. It was a little embarrassing… but you felt loved and beautiful.
And that was all you needed.
236 notes · View notes
hoejosatoru · 11 months
Text
Well Trained
Pairing: Fem!Reader x Feitan, Fem!Reader x Chrollo (separately)
Summary: Chrollo is a particular man, with particular taste. Though he loves everything about you, he has yet to see how you preform in bed. He fears that if you disappoint him, it will ruin everything that you’ve built together. Luckily, he knows someone who can teach you to behave exactly how he likes.
Word Count: 4.1K
Warnings: Dub con that borders on noncon at times. If you’re sensitive to that at all I would skip this one, toxic relationship dynamic, manipulation, face slapping, choking, scratching, rough sex, degradation, praise, Feitan is mean but we know that, Dom Chrollo, calls you good girl a lot, body marking, oral (fem receiving), raw sex, cream pie, not proof read. MDNI
a/n: So I’ve had this idea in my head FOREVER because I want both Chrollo and feitan badly. Writing this concept out was lowkey kicking my ass though. I think I ended up pulling it together, but I hope y’all enjoy.
Dating Chrollo was a dream come true. He was everything you ever wanted in a man: intelligent, attentive, and sweet. Not to mention so handsome. He treated you like a princess and you loved it. Everything was perfect.
Well, almost everything.
You’d been dating for a couple months and you hadn’t had sex yet. At first you thought he wasn’t that into you, but when he kept coming back for more dates you knew that couldn’t be the case. You wondered if he was a wait till marriage type, or was shy in some way. You respected the boundary, despite wanting to sleep with him so bad. If he needed more time, you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, but it was starting to worry you. 
Little did you know, Chrollo wanted to sleep with you just as badly. Maybe even more so. He was very picky with who he slept with, hence this long period of courting. However, the more time he spent with you, the more he realized he had genuine feelings for you. He has had some relationships in the past, but he always knew they would not be very longterm. You, however, he felt was someone he could see himself with forever. 
This revelation made him want to make sure everything was perfect. He liked women with experience, who knew what they were doing and how to please him. However, he hated having to put the work in to get his partners there himself. Luckily, he knew someone who was a very effective teacher.
“My love,” Chrollo spoke over his wine, “May I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
He smiled at your eagerness. “Do you want to have sex with me?”
Your cheeks colored at the blatant question. Chrollo loved how demure you were. “Y-yes, I do. A lot, actually.”
“Good,” Chrollo replied, taking a sip of his deep burgundy drink, “I have wanted to for some time now, but there is something I need you to do first.”
Your brows knitted. “What is that?”
“I’m a very... particular person. As I’m sure you’ve noticed,” Chrollo explained, “And I want to make sure everything is just right.”
Your heart dropped a little bit. “Am... Am I not good enough for you?”
Chrollo shook his head and placed a hand over yours, comforting your nerves. “Not at all, my love. Quite the opposite actually. I love you so much that I don’t want anything to get in the way of our relationship.”
You nodded, feeling slightly relieved. “What is it? What do you want me to do?”
Chrollo thought about what the best way to explain it was. “I have a friend. He can teach you what I like, much better than I can.” He say the confused look on your face and continued. “You trust me, don’t you y/n?”
“Yes, of course,” you replied instantly. And it was true.
“I know it is an request,” Chrollo went on, “But it is important to me. Everything about you is so perfect. This will simply make sure it stays that way.” He kissed your hand, making your stomach fill with butterflies. “I want you in my life forever. Will you do this for me, my love?”
The way he looked at you and spoke to you made your body feel weak in the best way. The answer was easy for you. “Yes, of course.”
A smile spread across his face. “Excellent.”
A few days later you found yourself in a building outside of the city. It was a bit dumpy on the outside, but the inside was furnished nicely. You were aware that Chrollo engaged in a very secretive business and decided awhile ago not to ask. You didn’t know, and you didn’t want to. It didn’t matter, anyways, you loved him. And he loved that about you. 
Chrollo led you into a bedroom, occupied by one other man. You felt a pang of anxiety, not fully knowing what Chrollo meant by being taught what he liked.
“Y/n, this is my friend Feitan,” Chrollo introduced you to smaller man standing before you. The way his cold eyes appraised you sent a shiver down your spine.   You said a polite hello, but he was silent. Chrollo continued, “Feitan is on the quiet side, but I trust him completely. He is going to show you what I want.”
Your stomach rolled anxiously. “Wh-what does that mean, exactly?”
Chrollo gave you an almost sympathetic look. “I don’t want to lie to you, my love. I want you to have sex with Feitan. He’s going to... mold you into the exact type of lover I like.” 
You stared at him, dumbfounded. Chrollo was a bit possessive, even early on in your relationship, so you couldn’t believe he was telling you to have sex with another man. Your eyes flicked over to Feitan, his aura making you nervous. “Chrollo I don’t-”
Chrollo gently took your jaw in his hands and turned your face back to his. “I thought you trusted me, love?”
“I do, I ju-”
“It will be okay, I promise. This will make our relationship stronger. Everything will be perfect. You want that, don’t you? You love me, don’t you?” He was so close to you, speaking so softly it made you dizzy. You almost forgot Feitan was there and what this situation was for. You never understood the effect Chrollo had on you, just that it was very strong.
“I do, I love you so much,” you replied. 
“If that is true, you’ll do this,” Chrollo replied sweetly, “And I know you will, because I know you love me.”
You nodded. You were nervous, of course, but you couldn’t say to him. “I will, I promise.”
Chrollo smiled. “My good girl.” He kissed your forehead. “Now go sit on the bed, I need to talk to Feitan quickly.” You did as you were told, sitting on the edge of the bed as the two men stepped out side and spoke in hushed tones.
“What rules boss?” Feitan asked.
“Get her how I like them. You know the way,” Chrollo replied, “Do whatever you need to. Choke her or hit her if you need to. Just nothing that will leave a mark, especially not on her face. And don’t cum inside her, that is for me only.”
Feitan nodded. “Understood.” 
With that, the smaller man slipped back inside the room. Your anxiety spiked being alone with him. He pulled his jacket down, revealing his full face. He actually quite handsome, almost similar to Chrollo. He, however, looked more cold and harsh than your boyfriend did.  He was silent as he approached you, appraising your body language. He could tell you were nervous, which excited him.
“Take clothes off,” he stated. With you on the bed and him standing he was able to look down on you.
“I don’t-”
Before you could finish your sentence he gripped your jaw. “It not a request.” You nodded, shaking. He was not someone you wanted to challenged. You slowly took off your shirt, then your pants. You reluctantly went for your bra, but he grabbed your arm. “I do that. You undress me now.”
You nodded, your voice still feeling lodged in your throat. You were just happy to have the focus be on something other than you. You stripped off his jacket, shirt and pants, leaving him in his underwear. “Good,” he said before climbing on top of you. 
Your body instinctively shrunk away from him, which made him scowl. “You treat me like Chrollo. You would not hide from him.” He place his hands on your shoulders, pressing your body into a more relaxed position on the mattress. 
“I’m sorry I- this is just hard for me,” you admitted.
“If you listen it will be easy,” he replied. He placed a kiss to the center of you check. “Chrollo will mark you here.” He kissed the top of your breast that your bra didn’t cover. “And here.” He kissed your neck. “And here. And you’ll let him.” 
“O-okay,” you replied. 
“Now we kiss.” He pressed his lips to yours, which were warmer than you thought they were going to be. Still, you felt you couldn’t kiss him back, your lips feeling glued shut. Feitan’s hand wrapped around your neck, making you gasp. Feitan laughed, licking into your mouth. “If you kiss Chrollo like that, he won’t like.” Feitan tightened his hand around your throat, choking you slightly. 
You kept your eyes closed and tried to pretend you were kissing Chrollo. It was hard at first, especially with Feitan tightening his hand more. “Do better.” Eventually you were able to get into a rhythm; you knew you were doing it right when Feitan loosened his grip. 
His grip loosening, however, meant dipping lower to your chest. He squeezed at your boobs over your bra for a moment, before taking it off. You couldn’t help yourself, you moved to cover yourself. Feitan, of course did not allow it. He gripped your arms and pinned them above your head, tsking. “You are slow learner.” 
Feitan kissed and licked at your breasts and neck. He was very careful not pay attention to too much on one spot, as he did not want to leave a mark. Feitan took any job Chrollo gave him seriously, but especially this one. He knew how much trust Chrollo had to have in him to allow him do this. He would never break the trust, but he would make sure the job was well done. By any means necessary. 
“If I release your hands, you will listen?” Feitan questioned.
“Yes,” you replied, still with a shake in your voice. 
Feitan did as he said he would. “Put them in my hair. Gentle. Chrollo like that.” You slid your hands into his dark locks, running your fingers through them softly. Feitan went back to kissing you as you did this. He smacked you bare thigh when your lips got too stiff again. You yelped, but continued to kiss him like he wanted. Like Chrollo wanted, you reminded yourself. this was for him.
His hand slid down your body, between your thighs. Your legs shut, making him slap your thigh again and roughly pry them open. “Stop fighting.” He ran his hand over your clothed cunt. You focused on kissing him and running your hands through his hair as he touched you. His rubbed your clit through the fabric. You were surprised how it made your stomach curl, how it felt... good. 
It made it a little easier to kiss him and touch him. You let your hands wander a little further down his back, making him hum in approval. You gasped when his finger slipped inside you, but recovered quickly. Feitan curled his finger into a spot that made your breath go ragged. He pumped his fingers faster, your cunt getting wetter by the minute. Your brain was a confused mess. On one hand it was weird to be touched by this stranger, on the other it did feel good. 
Feitan slid in a second finger and you bit your lip to stifle a moan. Feitan gripped your jaw. “Don’t be quiet. He’ll wanna hear.” Feitan scissored your his fingers inside you, stretching you out. This time you let a moan slip from your lips. “Good.” He pulled his fingers out of you and put them in front of your lips. “Now suck.”
You took in his fingers, sucking at them. “More.” He shoved them deeper in your mouth, making you gag a little. You tried to correct yourself quickly, letting your tongue roll up and down the length of them, tasting yourself. Feitan yanked your underwear off and it took everything in you not to hide yourself. You felt so exposed under his gaze. 
As he stripped off his underwear and climbed on top of you, the reality of what was about to happen set in and you started to panic. “No!” you cried trying to close your legs. It was no use, Feitan was so much stronger than you. He dug his nails into the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, making you wince.
“You obey, not fight,” Feitan growled, bullying his way between your legs. You brought your hands up and start smacking his chest and shoving him away. A sudden, swift slap to your face stunned you into stillness. Your face stung as he gave you a look that struck fear into you. He gripped your jaw achingly tight and got in your face. “Chrollo never love you like this. He want girl who behave. Who listens.”
“But-” He dug his nails into your thigh more, making you yelp.
“And you never say no to Chrollo,” he practically spat. He released his grip on you, but his gaze kept you pinned in place. “You going to behave now? Or do I tell Chrollo you don’t love him enough.”
You gulped. “P-please don’t.”
“Then shut up and take it,” he replied, flipping you in your stomach. “You can’t be trusted on back.” He took both go your hands in one of his, holding them to your lower back, effectively making you immobile. You felt the tip of his cock nudging at your entrance, covering himself in your slick. He gave you no warning when he pressed into you, making you gasp. 
Despite his smaller stature, his cock stretched your cunt. You whined as he thrust into you, not giving you any time to adjust. A slap came down on your ass. “Arch back more.” His free hand went down the length of your spine, putting you into place. The new position allowed him to get deeper inside you, hitting a spot that made you see stars. “Feels better for him. And you.” He was right, it felt so good. Your pussy throbbed with each brush of his cock at that sweet spot.
When you bit your lip to stifle a moan, you earned another sharp slap to your ass. You opened your mouth to cry out in pain, but it turned into a damn near pornographic moan as Feitan pounded you through it. “Like that. Let me hear.” 
He continued to pound into you rough and hard. You knew you should hate it, that it shouldn’t feel so good, but god it did. You weren’t even faking your moans, they were all real reflections of the pleasure he gave you. Just when you thought it couldn't get more intense, his free hand snaked around to play with your clit.
“Fuck Feitan!” you cried out. You were on the precipice of an orgasm when he pulled his hand away, making you whine.
“You want to cum? Beg.”
“Please!” Another hard slap on your ass.
“Better than that.”
You begged, desperately, “Please Feitan! Please! Let me cum. I need to!”
“Good.” His hand was back on your clit, rubbing rough circles. “Now cum.” Your body responded immediately, tensing then melting into a deep, euphoric state. You were sure to moan loudly, to show him just how good it felt. You have heard him say good again, but your mind was too foggy to be sure. All you know is that he didn’t slap you again, so you must be doing something right.
Feitan pulled out of you quickly, spilling his cum on your ass and back with a low groan. He very much enjoyed when Chrollo gave him jobs like this. “Chrollo will cum inside. And you let him.” You nodded, feeling hazy and spent. Your body collapsed on to the bed as Feitan got up. He tossed a towel at you and told you to clean yourself up. You did your best to wipe his release off yourself as he dressed and disappeared out of the room. 
You were just finished dressing when the door opened again. This time it was your boyfriend. “Chrollo!” you cried out with relief. You ran to him, hugging him tightly. He chuckled lightly; you played right into his plan. He knew Feitan would be rough with you and knew that would make you love his gentleness towards you even more. It was just another way to manipulate you into believing he was a good guy, to make you desperate for his approval.
“My sweet girl,” he hummed rubbing your head. “Feitan said you did good. Just a few more lessons and you’ll be perfect. I'm so proud of you, angel.”
You sniffled. “Really?”
“Of course,” Chrollo replied, giving you a chaste kiss. “I know you must really love me to do this. It makes me so happy. I hope you know I love you, too. All of the is for us, for out relationship.”
Maybe if you weren’t in such as haze you’d realize how ridiculous this all was. Or if you weren't s enamored with him. But both of those things blinded you. “I do love you! I know you love me too. I’ll do anything, I’ll learn fast. I promise.” 
You returned to Feitan’s bed handful of more times over the next few weeks. He taught you to be the perfect lover for Chrollo, someone who submits fully and is eager to please. Overtime you found the lessons to be easier, even enjoyable. Well, maybe that was too strong of a word, but they were pleasurable. Feitan wasn’t gentle with you, but the more you learned and complied, the less he hit or was unnecessarily rough. You couldn’t deny that Feitan knew what he was doing.
Your favorite part, however, was how Chrollo treated you after. You lived for the praise he showered you with, how he kissed and held you. You never once doubted that he loved you, despite handing you over to Feitan. Your hard work paid off when Feitan finally told Chrollo you were ready.
You were a mix of nervous excitement as Chrollo led you to his bedroom. The two of you went out to dinner to celebrate and now it was time to show him you could be the perfect girl for him. You knew Feitan taught you well, but you couldn’t help but be a little nervous.
Chrollo’s lips found yours as you settled into the bed. Your lips moved against his with ease. You parted your mouth slightly, allowing your tongues to swirl together.
“Take your clothes off, my love,” Chrollo whispered in your ear.
“Yes sir,” you replied. You slid out go your dress, letting him admire the lingerie he bought for the occasion.
“All off.”
“Yes sir.”
Your cheeks flushed as you removed the final article of clothings covering you. Chrollo’s gaze was definitely softer than Feitan’s, but it still made your stomach flutter with nerves. You kept a brave face, letting him look without covering anything.
Chrollo smiled. “So beautiful,” he crawled on top of you, kissing your breasts. “My beautiful girl.” He sucked at the skin, in a way that would definitely leave a mark. “And all mine.” He continued kissing, sucking, licking up your chest and neck. You slid your hands through his hair, pressing your body into his touch. Chrollo hummed approvingly. “I allowed Feitan to touch you, but you’re mine. Everyone will know it. You want that right, baby? To be mine?”
“Yes!” you practically cried out as he sucked on a sensitive part of your neck. “’M all yours. Only yours.”
“Good girl,” he purred. He kissed you again as his hand traveled down you body. You slid your thighs open, allowing him access to your throbbing cunt. His fingers slid through you, letting your arousal coat them. “Soaked for me already? Didn’t realize you were so desperate for me.”
“Need you so b-oh,” your sentence died off in a moan as he pressed a finger inside you.
“What's that? I didn’t hear you,” Chrollo mused, pumping his fingers in you. He curled his finger against your sensitive spot, which had you mewling. 
“N-need you so bad!” you cried. His thumb made contact with your clit, making your body jolt. Your thighs instinctively wanted to close from the pleasure, but you kept them open, as you knew he wanted.
“Think I wanna taste this pretty pussy. Would you like that, y/n? What my mouth on your cunt?” Chrollo asked, toying with your pussy.
“Yes sir! Want it, want whatever you want,” you replied breathlessly. 
Chrollo smiled, loving your desperation, how it was clear you would let him do anything he wanted. He laid between your legs, licking a stripe up your pussy. “Mmm, so sweet.” He went straight to your clit, sucking on the sensitive bud. You didn’t stifle your moans at all. Your hands slid through his hair again, running your nails along the scalp. Chrollo let his tongue tease your hole, while his finger took over at your clit. You rolled your hips into him, grinding your pussy against his face just as Feitan told you to. 
Chrollo’s tongue and fingers switched places. He fucked you with his fingers more intensely, giving your pussy a nice stretch.
“P-please, can I cum?” you questioned, trying to desperately to hold on. You did not want to cum before you were allowed. That was a big no.
Chrollo smiled. “Because you asked so nicely.” Your body responded immediately, releasing on his face. Your cried out his name as his tongue flicked your clit through your orgasm. Feitan had made you feel good, but Chrollo made you feel amazing. You knew your love for him made it so much better.
Chrollo sat up, appraising your body. He loved the power of you being naked and him being dressed.  He loved that he could already see bruises forming on your neck. How you already looked fucked out from just his tongue. How you were looking up at him, desperate for more, but waiting for him to tell you what to do. He made a mental note to thank Feitan again.
“Undress me.” 
You complied immediately. “Yes, sir.” Your body was weak from your orgasm, your hands shaking. Chrollo was amused by how your were so desperate for him that you struggled with he buttons on his shirt. You planted kisses down his body as you removed his clothing, another lesson from Feitan. When he was finally naked, you sat back and waited for his instruction.
Chrollo climbed back on top of you and you parted your legs for him dutifully. He teased his type at your hole. “Beg for it.”
“Please Chrollo! Want you so bad,” You begged, “Need you. Only you. Please let me make you feel good!”
Chrollo made a noise of approval. “Such a good girl for me.” He slid his cock into you, making you gasp. He was definitely a little bigger than Feitan, giving you a stretch. He pushed himself in slower than Feitan did, but didn’t give you much time to adjust. He rolled his hips against your yours, his paces quickly increasing. 
His hand wrapped around your throat, squeezing lightly. His thumb brushed against your lower lip. You parted your lips, allowing him to slip the digit in. You sucked on it, keeping your eyes on his. You could feel Chrollo’s cock throb, egging you on. You began rolling your hips up to meet his, just like Feitan taught you. 
“Fuck, I love you angel,” Chrollo groaned, “Knew you’d be my perfect girl.” He slipped his thumb out of your mouth, but kept his hand wrapped around your throat. You moaned, despite his grip getting tighter around you. That combined with him pounding into your pussy made you teeter close to edge.
“Chrollo I-nngh ‘m close,” you gasped. “Please can I cum?”
Chrollo dipped in to kiss you before responded, “Yes baby. Cum on my cock.” Your head lolled back as your second orgasm flooded your body. His name slipped from your lips in a desperate moan as the pleasure had you seeing stars. Chrollo fucked you through it, your spasming walls eventually pushing him over the edge. He moaned your name - the sweetest sound you’ve ever heard - filling your pussy with his warm release. His final way to fully claim you as his. 
He didn’t pull out even when you both finished, leaning in to kiss you more. “I love you so much, you were so perfect,” he praised between kiss. “And now you’re mine. Forever.” 
884 notes · View notes
kiame-sama · 2 months
Text
Little Spider, Fun and Games- (Yan!Chrollo x Reader)
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Warnings; fem reader, yandere, yandere behavior, yandere relationship, blood, murder, causal slaughter, mention of kidnapping, chronic illness (narcolepsy), troupe opinions, fluff with murderers, a bit of domestic cuteness, nsfw, somnophilia, rando insults reader, unnamed character death,
By selecting read more you consent to view the content included and affirm you are of age to view content.
If you are a minor, go the hell away. This fic is not for you.
~~~~~~~~
You shivered slightly as another howl of wind whistled through the building, metal struts groaning from the force. A sudden warmth wrapped around you and you glanced over to see Chrollo had placed his coat over your shoulders. Truly, you hadn't even been aware that he was keeping tabs on you, but it didn't surprise you to find out either.
Chrollo was always ensuring your needs were met and quickly taken care of regardless of the situation you two may be in. Luckily the current situation you were in was a familiar one, hiding out in some abandoned building until whatever heist Chrollo has planned goes into motion.
"You seem cold, Little Spider."
"Yeah, I am kinda cold. We don't usually go anywhere like this for a heist..."
"How about I warm you up?"
"Chrollo, not here..!"
"I meant by using my nen, dear. What were you thinking?"
You felt the flustered feeling in your chest as you tried to avoid eye-contact with him, knowing he was thrilled to be teasing you. He had been suggestive for a reason, and you walked directly into his trap. There was little more that amused Chrollo beyond seeing you get so adorably flustered by his absolute lack of shame and open flirting.
"Ugh," the scoff that came from Feitan surprised you as the troupe didn't often comment on the relationship you had with their beloved boss, "too damn cute, stop."
You were almost hurt by the callous words before you realized that he meant your interactions were quite cute. The two of you were being painfully sweet with your domestic behavior and casual flirting. Everyone in the Troupe found the relationship you had with Chrollo to be extremely wholesome regardless of his less than wholesome personality.
It was obvious- even to you- how much Chrollo favored you over anyone else.
~~~~~~~~
Waking up was usually very difficult for you, even on a good day. From the alluring pull of sleep to the rather comfortable feeling of a bed, everything worked against you. Even your lover was just another contributing factor to your constant desire to sleep.
Chrollo contributed to your need for sleep in plenty of ways, but the most prominent being his rather unusual appetite for intimacy with you. It did give you a twinge of pride to know that he was so addicted to you that he sought out intimate behavior and actions whenever he could. But Chrollo had more energy than you did and it was rare that the man ever actually slept.
As if to balance the difference in sleeping habits and physical needs, Chrollo had developed quite the kink for Somnophilia. So on the evenings where you dozed off early or spend an extended time sleeping, you fully anticipated him to help himself to your sleeping form. This is why you were not particularly surprised to wake face-down with your hips propped up and a distinctly familiar voice moaning.
A loud moan from you let him know you woke up, feeling an intense pulse of pleasure from being caught. Though you were quite alright with his somnophilic behavior, he still felt a certain thrill if you ever woke up while he was on top of you. The act of being caught doing perverse things with your sleeping body was just the thing his narcissism needed when it came to his perception of his hold over you.
Chrollo continued pounding into you frantically, feeling your walls tighten around him and coax him closer to his orgasm. Your moans were punctuated by each thrust, somewhat muffled as you gripped tightly to the bed beneath you. It didn't take long for the feeling to overtake you as you were practically thrown into your climax, feeling your walls trying to clamp down on his pounding cock. He was quick to follow and let out a groan of satisfaction, thrusting a few more times just to squeeze out every last bit of cum.
As the afterglow of your orgasm faded away, you felt Chrollo lay his body over yours and gently kiss your neck. His arms wrapped around your waist as he pressed as physically close to you as possible. You could feel the way your heart seemed frantic in comparison to his heartbeat which rolled in a steady rhythm in his chest.
"It seems you've caught me red-handed, Little Spider."
Chrollo could only chuckle as you failed to respond, still catching your breath and trying to adjust to being awake. No matter how many times he got to see you fall to pieces in his hands, he would always feel such a thrill just being with you. Years without significant amounts of emotion left him drowning in a cocktail of dopamine and serotonin that he was almost dangerously addicted to.
"It's not often I get caught, what ever should I do to convince you to keep this between us, hm?"
"How about another round?"
"Darling, I thought you'd never ask."
~~~~~~~~
"I'm here to make a deal with the leader of the Phantom Troupe, not some dumb slut."
The words echoed in your mind as the arrogant man sneered at you, clearly having a rather negative opinion of you and your presence. Though his words shouldn't have bothered you, they actually managed to sting more than a little bit.
There was a long moment of silence as you turned away, not wanting to look at the man who so gleefully insulted you. Naturally, the Spiders- that had been rather bored and relaxed when the man approached- were all furiously glaring at the man now. The Spiders cared about you just as they cared about Chrollo and the man insulting you easily set them all off.
"There are two leaders of the Phantom Troupe. Myself and Little Spider. What deal do you think you could make with us when you so blatantly disrespect one of the leaders of the Troupe?"
The man seemed confused before he glanced at you again, the weight of his folly suddenly smacking him in the face as he realized what he just did. He seemed to now take note of the many eyes glaring at him venomously despite how slight the offense may have seemed at first glance. The only thing that could save him was your forgiveness, and with how you refused to look at him, he was unlikely to recieve such a blessing.
"Wait, but I- hey!"
He struggled against the crusting grip of both Machi and Feitan as they forced him into a kneeling position, his arms twisted and being slowly crushed. Despite his clear discomfort and upset tone, you still refused to look at him or at any of the Troupe. Chrollo took this as a sign that you would not forgive the transgression and acted accordingly.
All the man could do was let out a choked sound as his arms were suddenly removed, a ballpoint pen sticking out of his forehead. He collapsed forward into the dirt floor and silence once again returned to the Troupe. You refused to look back before Chrollo wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder.
"Are you okay, Little Spider?"
"I guess."
"Don't worry about what that fool said, you are much more than that to me. And if anyone else tries to insult you, I'll kill them."
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tinfairies · 6 months
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Hi!!!How are you 🤗🤗🤗???Could you make a headcanon about what Chrollo, Feitan and Shalnark would be like with a civilian!wife and one or more babies???
PS: I love your headcanons about Koby 💖💖💖
Father That Stepped Up
Chrollo, Feitan and Shalnark x Fem!Reader
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Chrollo Lucilfer
Definitely didn't see himself ending up with a regular civilian. Especially not one that has a child.
It took Chrollo a long time to come to terms with his attraction. The last thing he'd want is for you or your children to get hurt because of him.
Yet he found himself coming to see you more often, and eventually you began dating. Then he met your baby.
That was it. He fell hard, so hard that he almost forgot just who he was.
Very protective, and never ever gives you details on his jobs. Not even the location.
Chrollo has you and your child set up in a luxury apartment, with everything you could ever want.
He's so happy he can provide a good life for you and the baby. As well keep you safe.
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Feitan Portor
He fought his feelings so hard. Even if you weren't a civilian, and even if you didn't have a child, he still would have been hesitant.
It's difficult for Feitan to open up to anyone, and most people find him odd and off putting.
Not you though, and not your children either. In fact they warmed up to him quite fast.
Never ever would anyone have imagined that he'd be good with kids, or that he'd be falling head over heels for someone in the first place.
Fei is highly protective, and you and your kids always have surveillance on you.
You didn't even know about his "occupation" until a close call with an enemy of the Troupe.
You'll never have to worry about money or safety again though, Feitan would never let you and your kids have anything less than the best.
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Shalnark
He fits into a crowd the easiest. Upon first glance he's completely normal, friendly and open.
Shalnark has a habit of forming crushes and falls in love easily. Though it's always puppy love and his obsession only lasts a few months.
Not with you though. He knew you were the one as soon as he saw you, and when he looked up your entire history online he saw you had a child.
Shal hesitated at first, but honestly it was just because of him being a thief and part of a notorious group of criminals.
He still couldn't help but introduce himself and wedge his way into your life.
He's amazing with kids, and slipped into domestic life pretty easily. Even on his "business trips" he makes sure to send good morning and good night texts. Will even call to read the kids a bedtime story if he's able to.
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holydayaria · 17 days
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Risktaker
Feitan x Reader
Synopsis: Feitan takes your relationship further.
Warnings: yandere feitan, afab reader, heavy dubcon, very unsexy smut
3.6k words... this was supposed to be done by kinktober, not proofread i just wanted to get this out of my drafts... i should probably proofread my stuff though lmao
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The basement is, as always, poorly lit. The dim light bulb hanging from the middle of the room provides enough light to see, but not enough to make the room look flattering. Then again, any additional light would show off the scratches on the floor and the dried blood splatter that Feitan hadn’t bothered to clean up. He thinks it sets the tone of his basement quite nicely. Two flies, now dead, have somehow been caught in the light bulb. Sometimes when you see them in the corner of your eyes, you swear that they’re still alive.
The mattress you were given, at the very least, is free from blood stains or other bodily fluids. It’s just comfortable enough that your neck isn’t aching whenever you wake up. You’ve gotten used to this by now, not that it was comfortable for you. After what had to have been a minimum of three, possibly four months, the constant of waking up in a dingy at-home torture dungeon did wear you down. You don’t tremble or even bother trying to reason with Feitan, or so much as ask questions when he stands before you. Sometimes you think he’s gotten less scary in the time you’ve been forced to get to know him, and other times you think that he can read your mind. 
It’s as if the moment you think that maybe things aren’t so bad, or that maybe the cumbersome relationship between you two (if it could even be called that) is improving, Feitan comes down the stairs to his basement with a deranged plan for the day. He never lets you get comfortable, always keeping you on your toes. Sometimes he’d hand you the scalpel and have you cut into whoever was unlucky enough to be tied down in the lone chair in the basement; other times you’re left to do the cleanup of his torture session. Today though, he comes with a demand that seems almost uncharacteristic, unbecoming of him.
“Your clothes. Take it off.”
Feitan says, staring you down. You look back up at him, dumbfounded. Well, you should have expected this to happen. Waking up in a strange man’s basement, on a dingy mattress with your ankle chained to the wall, this must have been inevitable. If anything, you should be surprised it took him so long to do this. There’s a long pause and Feitan’s affect remains flat. He has no intention of asking again, he’s just waiting for you to do what he says. You both stare at each other in silence, you wondering if he’s serious and him wondering what’s taking you so long.
You reluctantly strip, removing the loose-fitting shirt and the shorts he gave you, left only in your underwear– because the thought of offering you a bra never crossed his mind. The clothes are discarded on the mattress, you’d rather not put them on the dirty floor. You attempt to keep some dignity, covering your exposed chest with your arm. In the back of your mind, you wonder if this means he’s going to kill you soon. Once he’s gotten what he wants, he won’t have a reason to keep you around. 
“Your arm, down.”
So much for that.
You lower your arm to your side, your bare chest left on display. Each and every of your muscles are tense, and your body is as stiff as a board. The coldness of the basement is felt tenfold without your clothes, and you shiver both from the temperature and the nervousness, embarrassment, fear. It becomes harder to maintain eye contact, and you quickly give up when his gaze stops meeting yours. His eyes go from your face to your chest, then further down, then upwards to settle on your torso. It’s as if he isn’t sure where to look first. Still, his stare is ever piercing and he almost looks bored. Uninterested, even. You don’t miss the way his breathing picks up a little. 
Feitan does not act nor does he speak. He makes no indication at all of what he’s feeling, though if he didn’t have his cowl, the faintest of grins would be visible. He doesn’t make any move to remove his clothes or initiate anything, so you’re led to believe that all he wanted to do was ogle you. Perhaps this is a new form of torture he’s come up with, leaving you humiliated and cold. 
He continues his leering, Feitan inhales sharply with a visible rise and fall of his chest. Beneath his cowl, his jaw clenches and unclenches. His fingers itch to touch you, to feel your warm flesh flush against the palm of his hand. Something holds him back, you can see his brows furrow and a strange look crossing his features. After a long few moments, Feitan, as per usual, leaves without a word. You’re left to guess when he’s coming back and if you should put your clothes back on. The door leading to the basement is shut behind him, and the light that came from above is also gone.
-
Feitan leans against the bathroom wall, his forehead resting against the wall while he pumps his cock in his fist. He couldn’t be bothered to get any lotion, he’s relying on the spit in his hand to ease the friction. He lets out a few ragged breaths, his cowl lowered now. His jaw clenches and unclenches, and he keeps the mental image of you at the forefront of his mind. You looked soft, he should have touched you. Your skin seemed so easy to break, so easy to draw blood from. Damn you, damn you, and all you’ve done to him. He wants to rip you to shreds.
He stifles a gasp and bites down hard on his lower lip, squeezing his cock and trying to imagine it was your hand instead of his own. That instead of his own palm, it’d be your mouth he’d be releasing his load into. You'd be looking up at him— no, you’d be blindfolded. You’d be obedient, just taking it like you were supposed to. You’d be happy, eager, you’d want this. You’d want him. 
The man’s mind begins to wander. Were you a virgin? He could teach you, if you were, (not that Feitan had much knowledge in that area). He could mold you into whatever he wanted. Or were you experienced? Did you have more experience than him? It would certainly take some of the pressure off of him, but it also makes him feel sick to think about another man, balls deep inside of you. It’s enough to almost kill his mood.
Almost.
A low whimper comes from the back of his throat, and the foreign, warm feeling coiled up in his lower abdomen begins to unravel. Feitan cums in his hand, thick and white. It’s a lot, he hasn’t jacked off in a while. A wave of disgust washes over him when he looks at his cum, staining his hand and dripping from his fingers. He, with little grace, zips up his pants with his clean hand before washing away the shame on his other in the sink.
-
The following days, your contact with Feitan was sparse. More so than usual. You hadn’t caught a single glimpse of him, the only reason you knew he hadn’t forgotten about you is because you’d wake up with a small bottle of water and the minimum requirement of food for the day. You’d heard him coming down once, the basement door creaking open and light flooding into the room, even with your eyes closed you could tell. You pretended to be asleep for his sake (and yours).
He comes round to the mattress, lightly kicking it with his boot. “Get up.” You don’t bother keeping up the fake sleep. You notice that today, he isn’t wearing his cowl or the cloak that covered most of his body. Instead, it’s just a plain black long-sleeve. You sit up on the mattress, still wearing the same clothes from a few days ago. You wait for him to tell you to get up, to follow him for a bath. Instead, Feitan once again instructs you to take your clothes off. So, with much hesitation, you do.
Rather than only staring at your chest, Feitan’s eyes drift down to your underwear. “That too.” It makes your heart sink, but a foolishly hopeful thought comes to your mind. Maybe he was just going to stare at you some more? This wouldn’t be the end of it, but there was still a chance he wouldn’t actually touch you, right? It’s not exactly like you have an option here, he was most likely going to tear off your undergarments himself if you didn’t comply. So, you do what he says, in a painfully slow manner to delay the embarrassment. Your legs are tightly held together, knees to your chest. 
Feitan sits on the mattress with you, killing any notion that ‘looking’ was all he wanted to do. You’re awfully compliant, not that you’ve ever acted out in a major way. It furthers his confidence that you, on some level, must want this too. He’s sat in front of you, and with slight effort, pries your legs apart without a word. You swallow thickly, palms sweaty and your entire body wanting to shut him out. You can’t do this, you won’t. Feitan makes eye contact with you as he pushes your legs apart just enough for him to see his prize. “Calm down. It won’t hurt.” He’s trying to be reassuring, you think. You can’t say it doesn’t help, he hasn’t pulled out some awful tool to mutilate you with. Not yet, anyways. 
He says nothing more, his eyes going over everything he sees. He brings a cold finger of his to your folds, feeling around in a clinical manner. His fingers traipse your most sensitive area, feeling as much as he can with an almost juvenile curiosity. You squirm when his sharpened nail presses against your skin, letting out a small noise. The corners of Feitan’s lips twitch to a grin, and you don’t know if it’s because he likes causing you discomfort or if he thinks he’s doing a good job. His other hand rests firmly on your knee, steadying your leg so you don’t try to shut him out. 
His touch isn’t as sensual as it is exploratory, his fingers touching each fold and sharply contrasting the coldness of his hand to the warmth of your core. You’re far too put off and panicky to tell him anything, to try to guide his hand to the right place. Maybe you should just let him figure it out, assuming he ever will. There’s a lingering fear that he’ll suddenly plunge his fingers in, or he’ll cut you with his long nails, accidentally or otherwise. 
Your face, your ears, and the back of your neck burn hot with shame. The only person who's seen your vagina outside of you and your chosen sexual partners has been your gynecologist, and Feitan is feeling a lot more like the latter than the former. You clench your teeth together, not wanting to let out a single peep if you can help it. His cold fingers run over your clitoris, only briefly. He starts to feel and rub at what he thinks is your clit. You don’t have it in you to say anything. 
Sooner than you expected, Feitan stops. You take in a sharp breath when Feitan puts two fingers inside you. His gaze quickly flicks up from between your legs and to your face. “Does it hurt?” He asks, not moving his fingers. You don’t know what to tell him, if you say yes, he might make it hurt more. If you say no, he still might make it hurt more. You try to suck it up, struggling to meet his gaze out of embarrassment. “No.” You murmur meekly.
“Liar.” Feitan huffs, now avoiding your gaze. He moves his fingers in and out of you slowly, giving you time to adjust to the feeling. His ears strain to hear any noise you make. Any breath in or out, any whimpering or mewling, a moan, even. You do your best to keep quiet, jaw clenched. Feitan wants to ask you if you’ve done this before, if you’re a virgin or not. You’d bleed if you were, that’s how that works, isn’t it? He doesn’t trust himself to be able to hide his reaction, regardless of what your answer is.
He comes to a stop, pulling his fingers out. They’re warm and slightly wet, which is good enough for him. You think it’s over, he’s never gone this far. Surely he’ll leave now, give you a few days to comprehend what’s going on, and then he’ll come back to do it again. Instead, Feitan begins to unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants. You finally find your voice, wide eyes staring at his narrowed ones. “Feitan.” You choke out, as if just speaking up will make him stop. He looks at you, seeing the fear in your eyes. Usually, he’d relish it. Right now, though, he doesn’t like it. 
“Lie down, or I make it hurt.”
That’s all you need. You lie flat on the mattress, legs still parted while trying to come to terms with what’s happening. He’s going to rape you, for God knows how long. You try to convince yourself that this will be fine. He’s done worse, right? No, no he hasn’t. He’s dumped cold water on your head during baths when you moved too much while he washed you. He’s forced you to watch and join in on some torture sessions, but your participation hardly lasted more than five minutes, or however long it took for him to get annoyed with your crying and sniveling. He’s leered at you and stared in ways that could be described as lecherous before. But he’s never touched you in a perverse way until now, and the idea of Feitan forcing himself on you seemed abstract to you. Not that you never thought it would happen, but over the months, it just didn’t seem likely. Feitan speaks up again, this is the most talkative he’s been… ever.
“Don’t be scared. I’ll be nice.”
That sentence alone makes your stomach lurch. You can see his dick from this angle, and the thin, wiry black pubes that come with it. With minimal warning, Feitan inserts himself into you after aligning his hips with yours. You let out a gasp from the intrusion, hands clenched into a fist as you’re forced to take him. Feitan isn’t particularly big or girthy, but it isn’t welcome regardless. He brings himself from his haunches and is now on top of you, albeit a bit awkwardly. Your noses are just inches away from each other, and if Feitan wasn’t still so hesitant to be intimate with you he might have leaned his forehead against yours. 
Feitan lets out a brief, incredibly stifled whimper when he’s gone as far as he can go, You’re so warm, too warm, too tight. You almost wonder if you were just hearing things, if that noise really came from him. His nails dig into your upper arms as he steadies himself, unintentionally drawing blood from how tight his hold on you is. You wince, gasping from how hard he’s holding onto you and his sudden intrusion. You’re barely wet enough to take him, but not without discomfort. 
“Feitan-“ You can’t keep your mouth shut any longer. It’s uncomfortable, it hurts. “Be quiet.” He says, unwilling to hear your complaints, should they ruin his fantasy. You take in a shaky breath, stifling a noise of discontent at how much friction there is. Feitan pipes up again, trying to sound less irritable for your sake. This won’t be enjoyable for either of you if you’re this tense. “Relax.” He says, in a somewhat nicer tone. It hardly helps, but you want to believe that he’s not actively trying to hurt you.
For a fleeting moment, you’re both left to catch your breaths, trying to adjust to the changes. Feitan's eyes, which for a second had softened unwillingly, hardened as his gaze met yours, scanning your face for something you couldn’t quite place your finger on. He can see it on your face that you’re a lot more than just apprehensive. You’re afraid, a look that he’s overly familiar with. You try not to make a face, to not let your disgust and terror show. You don’t know what to say, and Feitan seems to be content with staying silent. Slowly, he begins to thrust in and out, trying to find a good rhythm. He’s incredibly slow at first, not wanting to overwhelm himself and lose control. Meanwhile, you try to think of something else. Anything else. 
You think about your old job. You weren’t fond of it at the time, now you’d do anything to go back. Anything for human interaction with someone that wasn’t an antisocial sadist. You’d give up all you had to go back to your old apartment; your apartment that never had hot water, only lukewarm. At least you could have taken a shower whenever you damn pleased, and ate any meal you wanted whenever you felt like it. Now, you were a house pet confined to this man’s basement at best, and a future victim to his assortment of tools at worst. Feitan continues rocking his hips back and forth at a steady pace, occasional low whines that he can’t quite keep hidden resonating in the back of his throat. You pretend not to hear anything.
You realize at some point that you’re not going to cum from this. It had been in the back of your mind, now at the forefront. Likewise, you knew from the beginning this wasn’t going to be an enjoyable experience. Still, expressing that to your incredibly violent kidnapper probably isn’t a good idea. To his credit, you were worried that sex with him would be extremely rough or involve you getting teeth or fingernails pulled. Just glancing over his shoulder, you can see an assortment of hardware tools and medical instruments hanging on a pegboard on the opposing wall. He used those on many people, and threatened to use them on you. You can see a roach scuttle up the wall and onto the pegboard. The unsexy atmosphere is making this entire ordeal worse. At least Feitan’s enjoying himself.
You bite down on your lower lip, reluctant to let any noise of pain escape. You grit and try to bear it, looking off to the side. You would have thought Feitan would reprimand you in some way, but he seems comfortable with not making eye contact right now. You try to relax, but suddenly he’s picking up the pace. Feitan starts to go faster, faster than you’re comfortable with. Your breath catches in your throat, and Feitan takes the noises you make as encouragement. Surely he’s doing the right thing. 
It hurts, and he only seems to be speeding up. You can hear him over you, panting. You can see your old apartment if you visualize hard enough, you can taste the day-old spaghetti on your tongue. The pained moans leaving you are mistaken for ones of enjoyment. He doesn’t say anything, but you get the feeling that he’s close. You pray to whatever God is out there that he won’t want to go for a second round.
He suddenly leans down and bites down on your shoulder, clinging to you with a harsher grip. You shriek, His toes curl, and he shudders slightly, not bothering to pull out when he cums inside of you. You can feel it, warm and filling, seeping into the parts of you that Feitan couldn’t. Feitan flops on top of you, his head dips to rest on the crook of your neck, and he swallows thickly as he comes down from his high. Feitan doesn’t look at you, keeping his head low. He bites the inside of his cheek, knowing he’ll need to get you a contraceptive of some sort. The last thing he wants is to get you knocked up because he couldn’t pull out fast enough. The entire act couldn’t have been more than seven minutes, nine if you’re being generous. It felt like it could have been three hours. 
After a long few minutes, Feitan moves and pulls himself out of you. He still is laying on top of you, head resting just below yours. He looks down, narrowing his eyes. So you were a virgin, he thinks. There are a few flecks of blood, on him and you. He takes it as a sign of you tearing from the penetration, not from him relentlessly thrusting in and out without proper lubrication. There’s a quiet moment that you two share, and you can feel Feitan staring at you. You keep your gaze on the ceiling, overlooking his shoulder, feeling numb and out of your body. Feitan’s breathing is audible, and he doesn’t move away from you; though he doesn’t move closer either. The roach has crawled onto the ceiling now. You focus on that instead of Feitan’s weight on top of you.
You’re both sweaty and tired, skin clinging to skin. You can’t see the bite mark on your shoulder, but it stings, and you think you’re bleeding. Feitan knows he needs to get up soon and tend to the wound he made on your shoulder. He’d give you a bath while he was at it, maybe he could join you. For now, though, he just wants to close his eyes for a few minutes.
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digital-domain · 1 month
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slip
Feitan x Reader drabble // word count 1.5k
In which you dream about someone you shouldn’t, and talk in your sleep.
Tags/Warnings: yandere, kidnapped reader, mention of blood and gore (past and imagined), knives, implied noncon, implied threat of death (to reader), implied murder (not reader), reader is gonna be fucked up over this forever
A/N: first time writing this man, not sure how I feel about it but it’s either post or stare at it forever
As always - 18+, read the tags, if you don’t like the tags then don’t go below the cut. Thank you and enjoy.
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There is a knife against your throat, and you barely know how it got there, much less why. You didn’t do anything. Didn’t run, didn’t try to shove your tormentor away, didn’t tell him that you wished he was dead, or worse. You wouldn’t have had the time to do these things, even if you wanted to. You hadn't been awake for a second before his hand stirred from where it had lain on your waist. And now - the blade twitches, slightly. It doesn’t press quite hard enough to make you bleed, but certainly enough to make you picture what would happen if it did. If it kept going, long past the point where red rivulets stained the threadbare sheets beneath you.
A small noise escapes your mouth. You get nothing in response. It takes time for Feitan to speak, when there’s something on his mind.
It’s taking too long, even for him.
Last night, you thought you were safe. He kissed you, after meticulously washing a stranger’s blood out from beneath his nails. He watched you fall asleep, kept a hand on you until exhaustion finally forced you to nod off in the early hours of the morning. The strange affection he gives you is worse than any cruelty you could imagine, but not nearly as bad as the thought that somehow, you’ve managed to lose it. There are no words in your mind, now, only scattered images of what might happen, what you might become, the barely-recognizable thing strewn out across the floor -
“What were you dreaming about?” Feitan’s voice is dull and quiet, as always. Like he’s asking you this over breakfast, and not on what could be your deathbed.
You don’t remember, and you don’t answer. There is no air left for you to speak. 
“What were you dreaming about?” he repeats. It’s almost the same voice, but there’s a hint of urgency, now. The barest hint - but you’ve grown used to interpreting the faint indications he gives you. “Talk.”
“I don’t”- You gasp, but seem to take in nothing. “-don’t remember”-
“You were talking when you were sleeping.” 
Statements like these are dangerous. He expects you to understand what he means, always. He does not like to elaborate.
“I…” You screw your eyes shut, try to forget where you are just enough to remember where you were. “It was night. In the dream. And I was…” Oh. No. You can’t say that part out loud. Never, ever, ever. When you open your eyes, your vision is blurry. They close once more, of their own accord. “I was sitting with someone. Talking.” Someone. Someone has no face, no name - you pray that he’ll let you leave it at that. That he won’t ask for more.
“You said…” His face is close to the back of your neck, and yet, you cannot feel his breath on your skin. “When you were sleeping, you said I love you.”
Your stomach threatens to infringe upon your throat. You curse your sleeping mind for giving you something beautiful to dream of, and for letting it slip out of your mouth. Beautiful things do not survive here, and your mouth is always better kept shut. 
“Who?” 
You’d think, in your present situation, that you wouldn’t have enough room in your head to feel terrified for anyone else. But you do. Terrified enough to try something stupid. 
You’re sure Feitan can feel the tension in your body, the instinctual way it readies itself for a fight (you would lose instantly) or an attempt at escape (you wouldn’t make it an inch). “It wasn’t about”- you choke on your own breath, try again. “It wasn’t about anyone real. Just a dream-person.”
“Bad liar,” he accuses. You do not protest. It was pointless to try. 
And yet, you try again. You know that your answer matters. Enough for you to force more lies across the blade that still presses against your skin. “Someone I used to date. A long time ago.” Really, it was only a few weeks before Feitan….found you that things ended. But time is subjective - it certainly feels like a long time has passed since then. 
“Oh.” If he suspects that you’re lying again, he doesn’t say it. But he does tend to leave a lot of things unsaid. 
“He”- You suck in a breath as the knife twitches again. The movement is not an accident. It’s never an accident - his hands are unnaturally steady, when he wants them to be. “He ended things. I don’t think he thinks about me anymore.” This needs to be true. He needs to believe that it’s true, or-
“But you still think about him.” 
Your stomach churns. “It was just a dream.” Technically not a lie, either. You’d have to say no for it to be a lie.
Feitan pauses for a moment. You’d have expected him to be furious, to take this out on you in some unimaginably awful way. Instead you hear a single sigh, feel it soft against your skin. “He let you go.” He sounds almost confused, his muted voice drawn out just enough to make his resentment clear. The knife turns slightly, and this time, you’re not sure if it was on purpose. “He must be stupid.”
You bite down on the inside of your lip, sharp and hard enough to tear a bit of the lining away. It’s awful when he says these things. Words that could be sweet, if you removed everything around them.
“I can’t control what I dream about,” you whisper, almost too quiet to be heard. “I’m sorry.”
“Okay.” He withdraws the blade, swings his feet off the bed - the floor, decrepit as it is, should creak when he stands, but it never does. “You don’t need to tell me anything else.”
You know better than to be relieved, so you turn over, to your other side, and fix your gaze on the floor. Watch him carefully, indirectly. You listen, your breath almost as silent as his, as he picks up his jacket from the end of your bed, puts it on. 
And he smiles. His face is covered, but you see it in his eyes. “I can figure out the rest.” 
The rest. 
Your heart hammers, but your blood stands still. Frozen in your veins. You know why he’s put on his jacket. Why he’s leaving. Where he’s going.
The knife still dangling from Feitan’s hand catches a shard of your reflection, a smudged picture of a terrified eye that disappears before you can look any closer.
The rest. Name, face, address - all too easy. There are clues in your confiscated possessions, in the place where you used to live. 
It’s as if the knife is still held to your throat. No. It’s as if your skin has already broken beneath it. You do not think in words. You think in gory pictures, infinitely clearer than the haze you see before forcing your eyes shut. Your blood, mixing with what you’re sure will be on that blade by day’s end. Skin-gushing-red-bones-out-something being buried, dirty hands returning to you, staining your face, your clothes, the things underneath, silent breath coming alive, painfully soft in your ear -
You open your eyes. You want to scream at him to stop, to stay. But your mouth stays shut.
“I won’t draw it out.” For a moment, he looks down, and you swear you see his face color. Like he’s said something overly sweet, and can barely stand it. “I promise.”
It’s enough to make it real. Enough to unseal your lips. “Don’t…” You should be yelling. But it’s all you can do, finding enough strength to make a near-silent, desperate appeal. “Please. You don’t have to. I’m not going to - to run. To him or anyone else. I’m not gonna do anything. I don’t - it was just a dream…”
“Stop.” His smile drops, eyes narrow. Voice even quieter than usual, deathly calm.
You go silent. Perfectly still.
“If you keep trying to save him, I’ll break my word. I already want to.” 
You forget how to breathe. 
This can’t be a choice you have to make. This can’t be in your hands. There are words in your head, finally, and you can’t say them. 
You have to say them.
“I’m sorry.” 
"Okay." He stares at you for far too long, unblinking. For seconds, or maybe hours, or maybe days - they’re all the same, to you, now. “It’s okay.”
No. He is unforgivably wrong. Nothing will ever be okay again. You’re in some other world, in your mind, and it’s going to take more than you have to yank you out of it. 
You can barely see him in front of you. His voice reverberates strangely in your head. But when he moves, it’s like your senses pull themselves together. You realize that your eyes are wet, that a tear is rolling down the bridge of your nose, that you can breathe after all, but only in ragged gasps…
“You look…nice…when you cry.” He drops his gaze once more, tugs up on the cloth that covers his face. His smile is back, creasing the corners of his eyes, and it is the ugliest thing you have ever seen. “Wonder if he thought that, too.”
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depravitycentral · 10 months
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Yandere! Feitan Portor General Profile
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Yandere! Feitan Portor x fem! reader
Tw: kidnapping, violence, murder, mentions of torture, mentions of Feitan carving his initial into you, mentions of masturbation, stalking, jealousy, threats, Feitan tortures a man in front of you, I stand by the (semi) soft creepy yandere Feitan agenda and I will not be swayed otherwise, this got super long I'm so sorry, I'm also delirious as I'm writing it so hopefully it makes coherent sense/is consistent, fem reader, MDNI
I do not condone any of the actions described in this post - this is fiction and should be treated as such. If you or a loved one is in a similar situation to anything contained in this post or my blog in general, please seek help. You're in charge of your internet consumption; please make responsible choices. With that, enjoy! 
DARLING PROFILE:
Empathetic
In general, Feitan finds his attention drawn by a darling who is almost the complete opposite of himself.
He wants someone sweet and caring, all soft and squishy and warm. He’s never found this particularly attractive before meeting his darling, but there’s something oddly endearing about the way they’re always trying to help those around them, fruitlessly asking them to vent about their feelings, to use them as a supportive shoulder. 
It makes him scoff, rolling his eyes and wondering at how impossibly naive his darling can be, but even he can’t deny how nice it is to have someone by his side, a human presence that’s steady and calm and understanding. It makes him feel good, a warm sensation bottling up in his chest and threatening to explode out, and although he’ll never really come clean with how he feels for you (at least, he never will verbally), a darling who can kind of read his rather emotionless face would be a very, very big attraction for him. 
He just wants a darling who can understand him, even if his rational brain loathes the idea. An empathetic darling is sure to draw his attention, if only because he’ll be mildly revolted and intrigued by how they can be so selfless and so foolish. 
Submissive 
Feitan doesn’t want a feisty darling. 
He doesn’t enjoy having to tame his lovers, and although he’s never really had a lover, he gravitates towards someone who is more naturally submissive and willing to follow direction. 
He already feels powerless enough in the situation, frustrated that he doesn’t really have any say in how he feels. It scares him, quite honestly, if only because he doesn’t like how easily and quickly he’s jumping to conclusions where his darling is concerned, more than willing to jump through any hoop necessary in order to get what he wants, in order to make sure his darling is safe and isolated from every other man on Earth. 
He likes knowing that his darling will do what he tells them to; it builds a layer of trust that makes Feitan go feral, and for every ounce of trust his darling gives him, he’ll try to return it as full heartedly as he can. He likes that he’s fully in control of his darling, and particularly if they were to be submissive in more… intimate aspects of the relationship, he’d be absolutely smitten.
He just wants his darling to revere him and believe his word as the word of God, and the moment that happens? 
He’s only falling deeper into obsession, his desperation for them growing with every beat of his heart, getting harder and harder to swallow until he gives up, jumping head first into every swirling, dark, lecherous desire he harbors. 
Soft
Of course, Feitan’s darling doesn’t have to have a softer body, but he can’t deny that there’s something enticing about a darling who is physically quite soft. Whether that’s rounder features, a plumper figure, or even a soft, demure voice, it all entrances Feitan. 
His darling is something of a dream to him, because he’s never really believed that someone that stereotypically weak could ever really survive in this world. He likes how his darling feels, the touches he sneaks late at night when they’re sleeping sending sparks up his spine and serving as fuel for when he’s unbearably horny, his hand around his cock not nearly enough. 
He’s prone to fantasizing about his darling, slipping into daydreams of his they’d feel in his lap, how they’d look with their ass up and face pressed into the mattress, how they’d feel so good wrapped around him. He just thinks it’s oddly endearing, and a darling who fits these characteristics would help initially draw his eye - he just thinks they’re pretty, a polar opposite to him, even going so far as to playing into some of his more protective traits. 
Of course, he’d rather die than admit any of it, but he’s interally a bit soft for his darling - they’re just alluring in an almost primal way he can’t describe, but he can’t fight it. He can’t fight anything when it comes to his darling, as it turns out, and soon Feitan will decide that he doesn’t care. 
After all, once his darling steps into his life and stays there, nothing at all matters - how can it, when he’s decided that they’re his, his woman to keep and admire and touch and fuck? 
(It will take him a very, very long time to get comfortable with either of the last two options, but the desire and sentiment is still there, if the frequent raging erections he gets as a result of his darling is any indicator.)
Talkative 
This trait is one of the things Feitan loves and hates most about his darling. 
He enjoys listening to them talk; he himself isn’t particularly fond of conversation, nor is he particularly talkative towards his darling in general. And so, a partner who is capable of filling the silence between them sometimes is something that makes Feitan grateful, if only because hearing the sound of their voice makes his breath hitch. 
And when they talk to him, all their attention aimed solely at him? 
Well, how can Feitan not be flattered, not feel a bit prideful that they’re spending their time directing all their focus and thoughts around whatever small question he prompted them with? He just likes listening to his darling go on and on, even if the topic doesn’t interest him much. However, the downside of this trait is that it creates a rather ugly combination with his tendency to grow jealous. 
If his darling is talkative with everyone, it’s sure to extend towards the men they meet, who just stare at them like they’re a slab of meat waiting to be devoured, all of them eager to get their hands on them and destroy what Feitan has claimed as his own. It’s infuriating, if only because it means that they’re interacting with others, putting themselves into a position where they could develop feelings for another man or be put into harm’s way or overhead something they shouldn’t have or any number of things. 
It becomes a massive liability, and one that Feitan is so, so very aware of. It irritates him, and as much as he loves when his darling is chatting with him, he’s not so approving when they're with others.
And so, it’s really in his darling’s best interest to reign in the conversations with anyone else - unless they want to see their blood splattered all over the walls, hear their cries, feel Feitan’s red soaked fingers grasp onto their arms and force them to see the results of their chattiness. It’s in their best interest, and they’ll learn that soon enough. Hopefully. 
GENERAL YANDERE TRAITS:
Distant 
There’s a part of Feitan that genuinely hates you for making him feel the way he does. The constant pounding of his heart when you’re merely mentioned, the throb in his chest when he’s gone too long without seeing you, the nervous twitch of his fingers when he thinks about what you’re doing, what other man you’re thinking about… 
He hates how paranoid you’ve made him, how so much of his time and energy goes into you. It’s your fault that he’s always distracted, that he’s not able to fully focus on his work anymore because he’s only able to think of you you you. It’s frustrating, and honestly it initially wards Feitan off from getting any closer to you - he doesn’t like the way he feels around you (that’s not true, but he needs it to be), so he’ll stay away and ignore you. Maybe that’ll get you to stop smiling at him so kindly, to quit asking him how his day was, to stop looking so pretty while you hum and make yourself dinner. 
As time passes, slowly this hatred diminishes (or at least dulls), instead replaced with a desperate, pathetic need to be around you; he just can’t keep himself away from you, no matter how hard he tries. It’s demoralizing, embarrassing beyond belief that someone like you could get his emotions so twisted, but it’s reality. 
He tries to fight it at first, believing himself to be above such stupid human emotion – he doesn’t need you, he’s a criminal and has never needed love or anything of the sort. And yet, each and every time he tells himself to not trail behind you as you walk to the grocery store, his resolve holds out for roughly five minutes. By then, there’s unwelcome thoughts drifting through his mind about what you’re doing, whether you’re talking to anyone, if you’ve managed to trip like you always do and scrape your knee. 
(There’s even a small, very small part of him that wonders whether you’re buying foods that are nutritious for you, or whether you’re doing your usual junk food spree. A thought pops up in the back of his head: him beside you in the store, scoffing as you place chips into the cart. He’d replace them with fruit, mumbling something about you being so stupid, only to see you smile at him and thank him, telling him how grateful you are to have him watching over you. His cheeks feel hot at that, and he buries his face deeper into his jacket, grumbling under his breath.) 
He’ll try to stop himself from circling back to you, but each and every time he finds some excuse of why he should be watching you, of how you aren’t really capable of taking care of yourself without his watchful gaze. It’s patronizing, more than anything, but eventually he’ll stop trying to fight it, submitting entirely and allowing himself the concealed pleasure of watching your horribly mundane life. 
He’ll need to be around you, constantly, but he’s still not willing to let his emotional guard down. No, you’ve done enough damage just simply existing - you absolutely cannot know how deeply he feels for you, how wrapped around your pinky finger you have him. Not only would it eliminate any semblance of leverage he holds against you (in order to stay above you, that is), it also showcases just how far the extent of his feelings for you run. 
And frankly, the thought terrifies Feitan – he’s never felt so strongly for anyone before, not even in the context of hatred or pleasure at their suffering. He’s in over his head, wading through waters he's always scoffed at and dismissed, and suddenly he’s finding himself nearly drowning, head always buried just under the surface. 
So he steels himself, grabbing onto any shred of control and power he can against you – he grabs on and clutches on, strong fingers frantically staying attached so that he doesn’t get blown away and truly drown. And even in the beginning of your captivity, Feitan won’t change the way he’s so detached. He’s purposefully putting distance between the two of you so that he can remain in control of the situation, in control of you, and – most importantly, and most concerningly – in control of himself. 
Because frankly, Feitan doesn’t trust himself around you. He doesn’t trust the way his body just does things, how any rational thought leaves his brain the moment your eyes meet, how fingers are already lifting up a bit to reach out touch you, to brush away stray pieces of your hair when you’re within a few feet of him. 
The biggest way he maintains this control is by not giving you a whole lot of attention, aside from one stark, grave exception: his dark eyes are constantly watching you. He’s always just sort of staring, his expression blank as he observes you, motionless and still. It’s unnerving, terrifying you initially and only slightly calming down as time passes, but Feitan doesn’t care much. 
He doesn’t necessarily want to interact with you, but just watching you allows him to be in your space, to be beside you, to smell you and listen to your breathing. You’re kept in one large room most of the time, and he’ll often sit in the chair in the corner and just stare. He’s not talking much, not trying to touch you or hurt you, but you almost wish he would sometimes. 
He just doesn’t understand what about you it is that attracts him so deeply, that’s morphed him into this lovesick fool, and while he initially tries to understand, eventually Feitan gives up, because does it really matter? 
Does it really matter how he became obsessed with you when you’re locked up in his spare bedroom, duct tape covering your mouth and an expressionless, frozen Feitan watching you with his heart practically bursting out of his chest? Does it really matter if he pinpoints exactly when he developed his love for you when you’re looking at him with those pretty tears in your eyes, whispering out a thanks as he sets the tray of food down in front of you? 
It really doesn’t, now that his feelings for you are formed and solidified, now that they can’t be changed or reversed. So while he’ll never be the most accessible and sympathetic to your feelings, rest assured that Feitan really does love you in some fucked up way - he’s just unorthodox, incapable of properly expressing himself to you. 
But actions speak louder than words, right? He’s always thought so.
Obsessive 
Because Feitan is relatively quiet and secretive when it comes to his feelings towards you, it’s difficult for you to really pick up on this aspect of him. You’re unlikely to ever truly understand just how much he feels for you, the sheer depth of emotions you cause him. 
He won’t ever tell you what’s going on behind that expressionless facade of his. He doesn’t tell you how oddly adorable you are when you’re sleeping in the early mornings, curled up in the corner of your room with your eyes shut and lips slightly parted, looking so soft and sweet and weak.
 He’ll never make you aware of how his breath hitches ever so slightly when you make eye contact with him, even if it’s shaky and you look away too quickly, his spine tingling because fuck, your attention feels good. 
You’ll never know why his foot is tapping lightly when you’re eating in front of him, the way those annoying nerves eat away at his stomach while he subconsciously wonders if you think he looks attractive today. (He’d trimmed his hair a bit, feeling it was too long and interfering with his work - do you like it? Did you notice? He’d hesitated a bit with the scissors earlier, brows slightly furrowing, dark eyes glancing at your sleeping form.) 
He’s very cryptic, and this tendency to keep you out of the loop of his personal thoughts and feelings can cast a shadow on his more obsessive tendencies. That is, before he’s stolen you away from the world, Feitan did an extensive amount of research into you. He does nothing on a whim - he’s a calculating man, and once he’d finally come to terms with the fact that his feelings for you weren’t going to disappear, he was scouring every resource possible to garner your information. 
He’s got access to all kinds of personal knowledge about you - your search history, for example. It’s a bit unexpected, if Feitan’s being honest - you’re much darker than he’d expected, the things you read about making him quirk a brow, his interest in you only deepening because hmm, seems the little sheep may be a bit of a wolf inside. 
He’s getting Shalnark to hack into the camera of your phone and computer, the stream of footage easy to access as he cleans his tools, blood washing away as you smile and laugh at some comedy you’re watching. 
It’s stupid and at first he pretends to find your laugh annoying. But then he sees the way your cheeks get all full and round as you smile, your eyes crinkling up, even the way you wheeze slightly when it’s really funny. 
(Briefly, he wonders whether you’d find his dry sense of humor entertaining.)
He’s got photographs of you from his time spent trailing you, and though they’re a bit blurry and not as focused as he’d like, they’re still something nice to pin to his wall, keeping his favorites beside his bed. He’s never had trouble sleeping, but something about looking at you as he drifts into slumber makes him rest more soundly, wake up more refreshed. 
Once you’ve been trapped with him for long enough, however, Feitan’s front of careful indifference to you will slowly begin cracking. You’ll never see fully through him, but you’ll catch the way the corners of his lips twitch up ever so slightly when you snuggle into the blanket he gives you one day, noticing how you’ve been shivering incessantly at night. 
(He won’t tell you the blanket was freshly stolen, that he’d made sure to take one with the softest, thickest material he could find, and even in your favorite color. It’s just a coincidence, so don’t read into it.) 
You’ll realize he’s slowly inched closer to you the longer you watch the television program Feitan turned on earlier, your spot on the couch feeling smaller and smaller as Feitan’s hip eventually brushes yours, neither of you acknowledging what’s happening. 
(You’ll never know how badly he wants to reach out and touch you, to freely run his hand up and down your thigh, so trace your collarbones, to feel just how soft your body is.)
It all makes him feel weak, pathetic, disgusting, but Feitan can’t help it. There’s something magnetic about you, and he can’t pull himself away. His pride won’t allow him to fully succumb to the thoughts and desires about you that are constantly swirling through his mind, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there, that they aren’t bothering him constantly. He’s secretive, and maybe it’s for the best that you don’t know how many nights he’s spent with his fingers wrapped around his cock, his pale cheeks rosy as he imagines the way you’d like tied up with hickeys he made spanning the insides of your thighs. 
Perhaps it’s best that you don’t know how often he’s (begrudgingly) held the extra pillow on his bed close to his chest, dark eyes staring up at the ceiling as he tightens his arms around it.
(No, he wasn’t imagining it was you – he’s a touch starved man, and everyone has urges, right? It’s just coincidence that the pillow casing is one he stole from you, that he never washes it because it smells like you, that he nearly loses his mind when he almost gets a drop of blood from a victim on it.) 
It makes it much easier to scare you into what he wants when you don’t know - you’re much more complainant this way, malleable, willing, and Feitan likes it that way. Sure, having you fall in love would be ideal, getting your obedience through a genuine desire to please him, but at least this way he can keep a piece of his pride intact. 
This way, you’ll never realize the power you have over him - how he’d be willing to wipe out entire towns for you if you so much as mention it. You’ll never understand just how he needs to have you - to have you for what, you don’t know, but you can sense the odd sort of desperation coming off of him. 
You can feel it in the way his fingers grip you just a bit too tight, the way his eyes linger on you just a tad too long, the way the smallest, most embarrassing little whimper falls from his lips when your hand touches his. 
He’s good at hiding it, but everyone makes mistakes - just don’t pry too hard, because Feitan still needs to be the one in control, and you’ll quickly find yourself learning much, much more about the short man than you’ve ever wanted to know. Namely, that the only thing worse than him staring at you is him ignoring you.
Protective  
Although, it will take you a very long time to see this side of him. Initially, Feitan’s feelings towards you are that of mild interest, mild disgust, and mild indifference. 
Mild interest because he had, of course, noticed that you were pretty, what with your soft lips and doe eyes, your figure and the lilt of your voice. Indifference, because Fietan was sure there were a thousand other people just like you on Earth. And disgust, because you were so visibly weak and unable to fend for yourself, like an animal waiting to be slaughtered.
 And yet, the more time he spends around you (maybe a long job has him centered in the same city for a few weeks, and you work at the little store he gets his meals from, or some other service job that brings you in contact regularly), the more complex these feelings become. His interest becomes peaked because you’re not just pretty, but also entertaining to talk to, handling his dry jabs well and even daring to throw back some jokes of your own. (He never laughed, of course, but a wry smile sat underneath his jacket.) 
He’s still a bit indifferent, but not when you’re helping other customers or smiling down at your phone. (Were you texting someone? Your fingers were moving, implying typing – what were they saying that was making you giggle like that? What could he say that would make you giggle? Why does he care?) 
But the starkest, quickest change of heart that Fietan experiences in how he feels about your strength and abilities. Of course, you are weak. Even if you can use nen, even if you know the basics of self defense – Feitan is sure that he could kill you in the blink of an eye, cleanly, easily. (He’s sure because he’s thought of doing it before – never seriously, just a fleeting thought, something that only briefly passed through his mind when he was still resistant to his attraction towards you – it was promptly expelled after that familiar sinking, uncomfortable feeling started up in his gut, but still.) 
You’re embarrassingly weak, really, and as much as he tries to make himself ignore it or to simply stop caring about it, he can’t get it out of his head. He can’t seem to stop imagining you getting hurt, doing something stupid or careless and tarnishing that pretty skin of yours. 
He can’t seem to stop imagining the way you’d take a corner too fast and slip on your own feet, tumbling to the ground and ending up with a sprained ankle or a scrape across your knee. 
He’ll be sharpening a blade, blood stains caked onto the metal, and suddenly a flash of what your blood would look like staining the material makes him freeze for a moment, black eyes just a tad bit wider, the muscles in his arms and legs taut because there’s something sickening about the thought, something malicious and just carnally wrong. 
He can’t help but imagine how you’d fare against someone like his coworkers, whose strength is difficult to handle even for an experienced nen user. How would someone like you fare against someone like Uvogin? Someone like Shizuku? Hell, even someone like Kortopi? 
(Upon first meeting Hisoka, a very sudden and very intrusive image of the clown slicing a card clean through your throat flashed through his mind, and he’d nearly reached forward and ripped out the taller man’s heart at the thought, a purely instinctual response that left him more shell-shocked than he’d care to admit.) 
He knows you wouldn’t stand a chance, and while he doesn’t want it to bother him, it does. It does, as much as he tries to forget the mental images or assure himself that you deserve getting injured for being so weak and helpless. But he can’t just sit still and let it pass by, if it were to ever happen - and so, Feitan’s protective tendencies begin manifesting. 
They’re small, for the most part; making sure to keep his torture tools as far away from you as possible, just so that there’s no chance of you accidentally tripping or running into one or being stupid and getting any ideas. 
He’s making sure that you’re under his watch as often as possible, becoming your second shadow and stalking you every free moment he can spare, just in case someone unsavory crosses your path. 
He’s making sure that all your locks are working every night, compulsively checking them even though he knows they’re still good. 
He keeps his protective tendencies under wraps, making sure that they’re subtle and just ambiguous enough that you won’t pick up on his intentions. Because while there’s something appealing about you knowing that he wants you to be safe, he would rather you not find out just how extensively he watches you, just how much he cares about your wellbeing, deciding that it’s yet another potential opportunity for you to manipulate him. 
And of course, he’s embarrassed - he briefly considers requesting help watching you from a Troupe member or two, only for when he’s aware for long periods of times on individual jobs, but eventually he chickens out, too scared to have to explain why he wants Pakunoda to keep an eye on you.
 He’s not embarrassed of you, per se, but rather the extent to which you affect him. And even once he’s stolen you away (an action which has roots in his paranoia for your safety), those protective tendencies are still firmly in place. He’s not a good cook, but he still tries to provide you with somewhat healthy foods, even if they’re undercooked and limp, bland and just overall unappealing. 
He’s by no means an interior designer, but he’s getting you a somewhat soft, thick blanket, making sure the one pillow you have isn’t covered in stains or lumpy. It’s all subtle, nearly unnoticeable things that you’d have to be very perceptive to catch onto - but to Feitan it’s all important, because while he may still resent you for turning him into a lovesick fool, he’ll be damned if he lets you starve or be uncomfortable.
It’s stupid and he knows it, grumbling to himself the entire time he’s doing something to prevent hurting you, but it’ll always get done - and if you were to ever notice it, to thank him? Feitan would deny your allegations, telling you to shut up and eat your food, all the while the tips of his ears turn pink and his heart flutters because you noticed. 
You noticed the way he takes extra precautions for you, the way he thinks of you and your wellbeing, even having the gall to thank him for it… 
Don’t bring it up again or he’ll grow angry, but the pride sitting in his chest at your words is enough for him. It’s enough for him to know you see him, that you’re paying attention to him, that you appreciate all he does for you - it’s enough for now, at least. 
DEALING WITH RIVALS:
Feitan is, unfortunately, a bit prone to jealousy – as someone who is aware that he isn’t the best option out there for you, the acknowledgement that there is a multitude of other men that deserve you more and could likely land you never fails to get past him. 
He’s so, so aware of the fact that you likely don’t like him, that stalking you and planning to kidnap you likely doesn’t earn him any favors. He knows he’s fairly quiet, and while it’s mostly a fear of mildly embarrassing himself that bars him from actually interacting with you, it only pushes Feitan to worry that you only see him as a strange, unfamiliar man. 
It’s likely that you think of him as nothing more than an acquaintance, a man who doesn’t seem to want anything to do with you. And so, the minute that another person tries to flirt with you, to look at you and think of you and speak with you, the insecurities over how you perceive him are blooming in his chest, growing and blossoming into full blown panic, because what if you fall for another man? 
Of course, Feitan has absolutely no problem eliminating the threat, even enjoying taking the life of such a worthless man, but he can’t help the way fear grips his heart, cold and stabbing and brutal, because while he may be icy and difficult to approach, a stone face that leaves little emotion o be seen, Feitan wants you so fucking badly, to the point that it genuinely hurts. 
And while he isn’t all that soft towards the beginning of his obsession (and really, even once you’ve been ‘living’ with him for a while as well), he does honestly want for you to return the feelings, to love him and care for him, to want to be with him and enjoy your new life by his side. Ideally, he wants you to fall for him, to see him and smile, to have your soft skin pressed against his rougher, more callused skin, your hands cupped in a firm embrace, a soft hug, a kiss against the lips and short, whispered words of trust and acceptance. 
Of course, it’s makes him feel so damn pathetic each time he gets caught in a daydream where you’re smiling and laughing with him, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and telling him he’s handsome, but try as he may, he just can’t allow another man to steal the opportunity to make you theirs. 
He wants to be the only one in your life, the only man you see and think of and talk to, and quite honestly Feitan will succeed – his profession is death after all, and he’s a master at stalking his prey, locating their weaknesses, seamlessly killing and annihilating his target before they even have a chance to fight back. 
And so, once his jealousy is triggered, the poor man’s fate has already been decided. Feitan’s never been particularly merciful, and where you’re concerned, this trait only grows - it feels good to kill whoever dared to speak with you, like some sort of cathartic release of all the emotions he’s been bottling up, all the anger and desperation and self-loathing and yearning trapped in his chest. 
It feels good, euphoric in a way he can’t describe, and so he’s quick to jump on any man posing a potential threat to your status as single and ripe for Feitan to claim. He’s a trained killer, after all, and who is he to waste away a perfectly good target? 
When the man in the black dress shirt approaches you in the grocery store, Feitan’s eyes narrow. The shorter man had been trailing you all day, watching you go about your weekly errands, and the tri-annual trip to the grocery store had been your last stop. You’d managed to evade any male attention today, a fact that had Feitan simultaneously sighing in relief and growling in anger. 
And yet, here you are, dressed in a rather provocative set of leggings that have Feitan’s eyes absolutely glued to your supple ass, matched with a slouchy, oversized sweatshirt. You’re cute, he begrudgingly admits, and it seems the stranger agrees. 
Feitan’s standing in the next aisle over, staring through the holes in the shelving to see the way you tap your chin and scan the aisles of bread, searching for the perfect loaf. You don’t seem to have noticed the man slowly walking up to you, his eyes visibly scanning up and down your body. Feitan scowls, black brows drawing tightly together as he debates what to do. 
On the one hand, there’s not much he can do - you’re in a public grocery store, and he doesn’t particularly want you to notice his presence. And yet, he can’t just let this man approach you, speak to you, look at you, now can he? He grits his teeth, steeling himself to just watch for now, and jump in if the time is right, if he feels the man goes too far. The man clears his throat, making you jump and look over at him, the suave smile he sends you making your own smile falter a bit. 
Which bread’s best? He’s asking you, and you answer quickly, naming your favorite brand and which style you like best - Feitan’s scowl only deepens when he realizes you’re telling him the truth. 
The man nods along, before his smirk turns smarmy, one eyebrow cocked up as he asks which rolls are best then? I’m thinking they’re yours. 
You blanch at that, disgust written across your face as you awkwardly laugh and inch away, but Feitan sees none of that - how can he, when he’s already moving, already grabbing the man by the neck and sprinting down the aisle and around the corner, all too fast for you to see with the naked eye? 
You’re confused, unsure of how the man just suddenly disappeared, but his comment left you shellshocked and lost at what to do, so you quickly grab a random loaf and anxiously push your cart away, trying to put distance between you and wherever the man had ended up. 
Meanwhile, Feitan’s got the man held against the back wall of the grocery store, fingers wrapped around his neck and a cold, menacing look in his eye. 
Bastard, he grits out, tightening his grip and feeling the way the man panics and scratches at his fingers, trying to rip them away. 
Disgusting, she is mine, didn’t your mother teach don’t touch what’s not yours? Feitan’s shocked he hasn’t just slaughtered the man yet, but there’s something in his heart telling him to prolong this out, to let the man suffer, to make this as slow and torturous as possible. He wants the man to bleed, to scream and sob and beg for his mercy, for being stupid enough to even try to seduce you. 
Feitan’s angry enough that his breathing is uneven, his muscles occasionally flexing without his permission, the rage simmering in his veins nearly potent. He can’t stop replaying the sight of your disgusted and uncomfortable look, the fact that this scum caused you to feel such an emotion making his skin feel hot, his fingers eager to steal the man’s life. 
He smiles as the man wheezes, the lack of oxygen making his face slowly take on a purple hue. What’s wrong? Can’t breath? 
He squeezes once, harshly, roughly, and the man splutters, spit dribbling down his chin and getting onto Feitan’s wrist. He scoffs. Filthy, disgusting. Die. 
And then the man is being stabbed with his sword, not once, not twice, but again and again and again, until holes and wounds decorate the planes of his chest, blood flowing down in rivers onto the dirty concrete floor. 
The man is dead within a matter of seconds, but it’s not enough for Feitan. He’s quick to throw the body to the ground, kicking and stomping and mutilating the body until its unrecognizable. He’s still breathing hard, his fingers shaking, and he finishes it off with a spit at what was once the man’s face, a scowl thrown his way. 
Pathetic, he says, dark eyes closing for a few moments as he looks to sense your familiar presence, already on your walk back towards your apartment. Feitan gives one last, firm kick, before taking off, the urge to have his eyes on you once more making him rush even quicker than normal. He’ll spend the rest of the evening watching you, like always, but this time he’ll pay more attention to your face. 
You’ve never looked at him the way you looked at that man, all scared and revolted. 
You’ve never tried to get away from Feitan, never ran or panicked or anything of the sort. Pride swells in his chest at the knowledge that you like the dark haired man more than that mangled corpse; you’d choose Fietan over him, he’s sure. 
And as you slip under your covers, a soft look on your face as you drift to sleep, Feitan can’t help but slide open the window, slipping into the bedroom and coming up to stand beside your unconscious form. 
Would you choose him over other men? 
If given the choice, would you want him? 
He’d always choose you, his heart always coming back to you no matter what he does or how he hates it - and one day, he’s hopeful you’ll feel the same. One day, you’ll be just as stupidly, pathetically, frantically in love as he is. 
He sighs, the corner of his mouth twitching up. Someday, you’ll be all his. 
TAKING HIS DARLING AWAY:
It takes Feitan a long time to resort to kidnapping you. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, but rather that it’s never been a priority for him. He’s reclusive, and because it takes him so long to sort out his feelings for you, stealing you away was certainly not at the forefront of his mind. 
It takes him so long to even admit to himself that he cares for you, and that process alone takes anywhere from a month to three months, and only then does the stalking begin. Only then is he allowing the feelings for really grow, to fester and brew in his chest until he’s insatiable, desperate to see you and be in your presence. It takes him so long to warm up to you that he just simply doesn’t have the time or forethought to consider taking you for himself - that is, until his protective tendencies begin coming into play. Once he starts actively caring about your safety and wellbeing, little thoughts begin springing up in the back of his mind. He’s chastising you mentally for staying up late, the hands on the clock moving past hours he’s comfortable with. 
He doesn’t like when you lay in your bed scrolling through that damn phone of yours, the bright light bad for your eyes and making you delay sleeping for as long as possible. It makes him angry (if not hypocritical, seeing as he himself only gets roughly four hours of sleep per night), and before he can even stop himself he’s thinking of how he’d make you fall asleep if he was with you, prying that phone out of your hands and telling you to sleep now. 
He doesn’t like when you walk home alone at night, as if you’re practically asking to be mugged or assaulted or killed, which is why he has to follow you, begrudgingly hiding in the shadows and trailing you as you meander back to your apartment. 
You’re stupid, is what you are, and as time passes, Feitan becomes more and more shocked at how lightly you take your own life - how can one single person be so careless? How can you be willing to eat food so close to the expiration date, or look both ways at the sidewalk just once? You’re helpless, truly, and it pisses Feitan off. 
It makes him mad, if only because he’s trying so much harder than you are to keep you safe, and isn’t it unfair to him? Isn’t it awfully inconsiderate of you to make him spend so much time looking after you, doing everything for you because you’re so damn incapable? It’s a negative view and Feitan doesn’t really blame you, only convincing himself he does in order to make him feel better. It’s an excuse to help him feel like he isn’t as attached as he really is, a way to help alleviate some of the embarrassment he has regarding his feelings for you. 
It’s pathetic, he thinks, but then something happens - something bad, something Fietan had hoped never would. Somehow, an enemy of the Troupe had discovered you. Maybe he was too preoccupied by keeping his eyes on you that he missed the stranger’s presence, unknowingly leading them directly to you. 
Sweet, weak, defenseless you. 
Time is frozen for Feitan as he returns from Troupe work, slinking to your apartment and letting himself in the front door, knowing that although it’s horribly late, you’re surely freshly asleep - except, the door is already ajar, and Feitan feels his blood run cold. There’s someone here. It doesn’t matter if they’re a friend or enemy to you - why the fuck is there another person in your home at such an ungodly hour? 
The hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, and for a moment Feitan feels pure, absolute panic - you’re incapable of warding someone off, especially if you’re asleep, and although he feel sense your presence, there’s a distinct aura coming from your bedroom that isn’t yours. He’s quick to rush in, dark eyes narrowing when he sees the figure over your bed, a man hunched over and about to touch you - 
His sword is slicing through the man’s neck before he can even blink, head dropping to the ground with a dull thud and blood pooling where it lands. His chest is rising and falling rapidly, brows pinched together and his grip on the sword hilt tight. 
His gaze flicks to where you’re still sleeping peacefully, utterly unaware of the man standing beside your bed and the lifeless corpse bleeding out onto your floor. He’s got no choice, really - there’s something ugly stirring in his chest, something big and bad and painful, and he’s reaching out and scooping you into his arms all too quickly. 
The man surely was after Feitan - he’d looked at him with recognition, and Feitan can only swallow and tighten his grip on you ever so tightly, hopping out your window and taking off into the night, the makeshift home he’d been residing in lately eventually coming upon the horizon. 
The whole event spurs Feitan to believe that relocation is really the best option - his enemies are aware of you now, and who’s to say more won’t come knocking? How does he know you won’t be targeted again, those with vendettas against the Troupe knowing that someone weak and such an Achilles Heel like you would be the perfect revenge? 
He doesn’t, and so although he’s grimacing and slightly worried to have you under the same roof, he sets you down on the hard mattress, giving you a few glances before closing the door, sighing to himself and hoping you wake up soon. 
Feitan, once you’ve been stolen away, is mostly just an enigma to you. 
He’s so painfully unexpressive, so difficult to interact with that you’ll be left to wonder just why he stole you away, why he even bothered to take you when he seems so utterly disinterested in you. He doesn’t talk to you - outside of a few clipped, short commands, he’ll hardly ever let you hear his voice. 
Particularly in the beginning of your captivity, he would listen to your crying and begging to be released silently, his eyes slightly narrowed before a small, curt stop filled the room. 
He’s never given you any sort of an explanation for why you woke up in his home one day, even when you ask him over and over again. He’ll only look at you, dark eyes fixed on your face, before telling you to go to sleep, you need sleep and promptly shutting and locking the bedroom door. He’s entirely unwilling to really interact with you in any meaningful way - except, it’s not because he hates you, or because he’s simply biding his time to kill you. 
You may think that, fear swimming through your veins every time you see him, but it couldn’t be further from the truth - he’s not interacting with you much because there’s a part of Feitan that’s honestly afraid to. It makes him feel stupid and pitiful, but every time he tries to ask you a question or tell you something, the words just sort of die in his throat, his tongue frozen in his mouth even as he tries to move, tries to interact and get you to just look at him, dammit. 
Honestly, he’s embarrassed to speak to you - he’s been watching you for so long, acting as your shadow and seeing you so natural and perfect and raw, and he’s grown used to having a front row seat without having to do anything. He’s not used to you being able to see him or hear him or even know he’s there at all. It’s scary to have you be aware of him, placing him in an uncomfortable position where he can no longer simply watch you or long for you from afar - no, now, as much as he hates to admit it, he cares about your opinion. 
He cares about how you view him, how you perceive him, what you think about him. He wants you to think he’s funny when he tells cutting jokes, and generous when he gives you bowls of semi-cold soup. He wants you to find him attractive, catching your eyes settling on his body or your fingers running through his ebony locks. 
He wants your opinion to be favorable, but despite how strong this desire is, the fear that you’ll find him weird outweighs it. He knows it’s stupid, but he’s terrified that you’ll think he’s strange, a freak, some sort of monster if he talks with you. He’s scared he’ll say something wrong, something to scare you or offend you, and while he may be a mass murderer and an atrocious man, there’s something about the way your eyes would get all glassy and teary, face contorting into disgust as you physically recoil from him that makes his gut wrench, a small frown tugging at the corner of his lips. 
He’s too awkward and nervous to speak with you - and so, he resorts instead to the staring, to the watching, to the observing. It’s what he knows best, after all, considering that was how most of his time was spent before kidnapping you. This is better; he has control in this situation, and he won’t accidentally slip and say something that bears too much truth, that lets you in on too much of what’s going on in his head. 
There’s less room for error if he relegates himself to minimal verbal and physical interaction, and while he aches to reach out and touch you, to feel the softness of your cheeks or the texture of your hair, he’s restraining himself. Just the mere thought of your skin against his gets him shivering, but it’s quite easy to overwhelm him; he’s not used to being the recipient of your attention, and while it feels good to have you looking at him and attempting to start conversations, it can get to be too much for him very quickly. 
It’s easy enough to answer trivial questions; things like what the food is that he placed in front of you (doesn’t matter, it’s good is all he’ll answer with) or inquiries into why he wears that same massive coat all the time (warm and my favorite color). 
Those are easy enough, not breaching too close to anything personal or anything that you could use against him. But the more complex questions, or - once the Stockholm Syndrome eventually kicks in and you’re so lonely you’ll happily converse with your kidnapper - compliments? 
As soon as the words slip from your lips, a simple your eyes are pretty or a I hope you sleep well makes him stiffen up a bit, lips parting ever so slightly under that cowl of his, before he’s quickly darting out the door and slamming it shut behind him. He has to take a few moments to collect himself, his ears and cheeks feeling hot because god, you were looking right at him, and you’d even said his name. 
(He spends the rest of the night in the basement, compulsively cleaning and recleaning his torture tools over and over, trying to distract himself from replaying your compliments over and over in his head, ingraining the sound of your voice and the tingling warmth he felt into his brain. Everything is sparkling clean by the time he’s done, a few hours having passed, and yet he’s spent the whole time thinking of you, letting you plague his thoughts like you always do.) 
He just can’t handle having all of your attention on him like that, and although he gets better at it and more used to it as time goes on, he’ll still be very skittish. He’s like a feral cat; he’ll stalk and watch, staring at you with beady eyes from the corner of the room while you try and act natural, only to scamper away when you try to reach out and pet. 
You’ll be starved for human contact as his captee, but aside from the lack of any sort of touch, you’ll find that being stuck with him is actually not too bad - he feeds you a decent diet, and lets you live in the spare bedroom of his home. He’d even cleaned everything up before you arrived, a preemptive measure he underwent one night when he couldn’t sleep, both his dreams and thoughts revolving around you. 
(There’s still bits of dust and a spider or two in the corner of the ceiling, but everything smells not terribly musty, and you don’t notice any mysterious stains on the sheets, so it could be worse, right?) 
He leaves you to your own devices more often than not, just on the condition that he can be present, whether you’re reading a book or sleeping or doodling with some art supplies he stole for you a while back. He’s not too demanding, but eventually the Stockholm Syndrome will get to you - you will eventually start wishing he’d do more than just look, even when he comes home with blood speckling his jacket.
You’ll grow to wish he would sit just a bit closer to you, so that you could feel his body warmth or a brush of his skin against your own. You’ll hate yourself for endearing your captor, but you don’t have much of a choice - Feitan, while terrifying and absolutely capable of killing you in more ways than you can count, is strangely sweet in his own way, even if it takes you a while to notice it. 
He’s not buying you flowers or declaring his undying love to you, but he is leaving small, insignificant gifts on your nightstand, maybe a small pastry that you love, or even a small, pretty little jewel he managed to snatch away from the goods Chrollo said were communal among the Troupe from the latest heist. He won’t ever say anything about them, and if you bring it up to him he’ll either ignore you or deny their existence, but he likes leaving them there as a token, as some way of quelling the intense desire to please you that wells in his chest.
It’s the only route he can allow himself to take, because that way he doesn’t have to confront you, only looking at your sleeping face. You always look so peaceful and pretty this way, all the lines of stress and worry smoothing away - you look how you used to, before he stole you away, back when his infatuation first started. 
And as he gently, carefully, hesitantly sits down beside your sleeping form on the mattress, he can’t help but gulp harshly and slowly, ever so slowly, reach out and rest his palm on your leg, the sheets separating your skin. He’ll keep his hand there for a while, dark eyes appraising your form under the covers, before exhaling shakily and standing back up, making sure the jade he’d brought back for you was securely on the bedside table, right in your view when you wake up. He’s not a bad captor by any means; he just has trouble expressing himself, walls built up too highly and too thickly to ever really knock them down. 
And you’ll get close - as close as you can, at least, as time passes. Feitan will eventually warm up to you, but he’ll never be particularly loving, particularly obvious with his feelings for you - he’ll always be a lovesick fool, but he’ll be damned if he lets another soul know that. 
PUNISHMENTS:
As a general rule, Feitan doesn’t particularly like hurting you. Of course, his career rides on his ability to harm, torture, mutilate and extract information out of even the worst criminals and agents, and for the most part he enjoys it. 
There’s something about the way he can elicit screams and tears out of others that gets him giddy, the smile stretching across the part of his face covered by his jacket as wide as can be. And yet, for all the enjoyment he derives out of hurting others, seeing you harmed, bruised, crying and begging isn’t nearly as fun as Feitan had expected. 
He’s not really sure why, but for some reason seeing you looking at him with so much fear dancing in your pretty eyes makes his gut wrench, an uncomfortable feeling sitting at the base of his throat while he mutters something demanding you to stop looking at him like that. It makes him feel weak, frankly, that you have this effect on him, but he can’t help it – early on into your captivity with him, he tried to settle your disobedience by physically harming you, but he got as far as leaving a rather large carved ‘F’ right over your heart before your crying got to him. 
He couldn’t lift his hand as you sobbed below him that day, your wrists bound by leather cording stained with his previous victims’ blood. Your eyes were puffy and glassy, snot dripping from your nose and pathetic little cries and begs for him to stop tumbling past your quivering lips. 
Frankly, Feitan was embarrassed for you. But more than anything, he was pissed – his hands were trembling, the switch knife grasped between his fingers frozen, his dark eyes wide as they stared down at you, guilt flashing through them the longer you sniffled and shook, the sight of you in pain with your pretty red blood dribbling down your collarbone simply too much. 
That day, he cleaned your wound, packed up his torture gear and locked you into your designated bedroom, all without a single word, mostly because his tongue didn’t seem to be working. But the shaky gasps stumbling from his lips as he stared at his own two hands later that night were enough to make him realize he hates to see you in pain, particularly when he’s the cause.
It’s confusing, irritating, scary, even, that you have this effect on him, but try as he might, any thought of physically harming you from that point on makes his stomach twist, bile rising up his throat and nausea hitting him square in the chest. 
But trouble, of course, arises; he refuses to physically harm you in most cases, but he still will only tolerate absolute obedience from you. You can’t simply walk all over him, he won’t let you – you need to listen to his instructions, follow his rules, eat the food he gives you, smile at him all pretty and warm, and let him sneak into your room and hold you when you’re fast asleep in the middle of the night, just as he starts craving. 
Feitan needs you to be obedient and submissive to him, and so how can he mold you into the perfect, obedient partner without laying harm to you?
The solution, as it turns out, lies in making you absolutely believe that he will hurt you, despite it not being true. 
You don’t need to know that the thought of making you wince or scrunch up your face in pain makes him physically hurl; no, you’re much better off thinking that he’s simply playing nice, waiting for the right moment to strike and leave you broken and bleeding. He’ll allow you to believe that he’s constantly ready to punish you, because then you’ll have some incentive to follow his words and rules, and to do what he believes you should do. 
And why wouldn’t you believe it? 
You know what Feitan does – he makes no effort to hide the torture tools scattered across his basement, and while you’ve only been down there once (the initial carving of the F), your imagination can conjure up plenty of scenarios of what goes on in that damp, dark basement. 
The fact that he has hurt you leads to you staying mostly in line – you’re more than aware of what he’s capable of, and although it slightly pains Feitan that you think of him as a monster, it’s for the best. It’s better for everyone when you’re well behaved – when you simply follow his orders and do what he wants you to, no matter how strange it makes you feel. 
You probably aren’t particularly fond of eating in front of him, but he’ll be sitting at the other end of the table as you carefully, hesitantly, twist the strands of pasta around your fork, your gaze flickering from the slightly undercooked noodles to your captor and back again. 
You probably don’t really like sleeping while he sits in the corner of the room, that stupid jacket pulled up over his mouth, making the only part of him visible to your drowsy self those damn eyes – and his hands, of course, with just the slightest touch of dried blood under his nails. You’re probably not particularly a fan of any aspect of being his captive – and Feitan carefully controls this. 
However, on the off chance that you do act up, that liquid courage flows through your veins and you cross him, you’ll quickly grow to regret it. Feitan still won’t hurt you – not physically, at least. 
But others? 
Well, it’s not hard to get Chrollo to give him someone who needs to give up some information, to set up the basement and make sure you get a front row seat as he makes the knots tight around the man’s wrist. It hurts him, really, to see the way your face contorts into horror as you watch him break bone after bone in the man’s body, but Feitan can’t stop looking at you. He needs you to be watching – you have to see what he’s capable of, even if he doesn’t really want you to know. 
You have to know that he’s serious when he tells you that you can’t leave, that there’s nowhere in the world you can run to where he won’t find you. He rips the man’s nails off, a finger at a time, just to make sure you understand that his touch can hurt – but maybe, some part of him hopes, you’ll realize that when he touches you, his touch is only ever gentle. Or at least as gentle as he can be. 
It’s all to make sure you understand that he’s utterly, absolutely in charge – his word is law, and while he craves for you to love him, he’s willing to compromise with just your respect and undivided attention. 
It’s not ideal, but as he watches the way tears stream down your cheeks and your body heaves and shudders with your sobs, he can’t help but slice the knife into the man’s thigh deeper, send the punch to his jaw harder. 
He has to keep you in line – this complicated, doomed relationship he’s forced you into is the only thing that makes him feel that strange, fluttering feeling in his chest, and he’ll be damned if he lets it go. He’ll be damned if he lets you go – even if you think of him as a monstrous, sadistic freak. 
Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t; it doesn’t matter, because you’re never getting away.
OVERALL DANGER:
8/10
The danger that lies with being Feitan’s darling is much more mental than physical. By all means, he’s not the ideal captor – he’s a criminal and mass murderer, torturing people for a living and liking it. And yet, there’s something about you that tones down the more deranged, violent aspects of his personality - he’s by no means soft, but he’s rounder at the edges, less rough and bitter and cold. 
He hates himself for falling in love with you, for having allowed you to worm your way into his heart and settle there, plaguing his every thought and dream with your face, your voice and laugh and smile and god, your body - 
He blames you, initially, but as time goes on and his feelings only grow stronger, harder to suppress, he finds that it doesn’t matter. You’ve already staked your claim on his heart, and there’s simply nothing he can do to stop what’s inevitable. 
Kidnapping is imminent with him, but it really does take him a long while to actually go through with it; you’ll have a long period of freedom from his clutches where you’re living your own life, with him only controlling it from the shadows rather than blatantly, like when he’s stolen you away. He’s not particularly needy, only demanding that you stay in his line of sight, but there’s something more terrifying about the way he’s always watching you like a hawk watches its prey than simple touching would be. 
You’re thankful he hasn’t forced himself on you or even forced any kind of affection, but it doesn’t make up for the fact that you miss human touch, that you almost wish he would reach out and hold your hand, press a kiss to your lips, slip the ratty old t-shirt he’d given you over your chest.
You’ll find yourself growing stir crazy under Feitan’s rule, growing desperate but still too scared to confront him, because his intentions with you will remain ambiguous at best - he hasn’t killed you yet, so you must be important to him somehow. You’re not sure, but the longer you spend with him, the less you’ll care until eventually you’re actively dreaming of the day when he finally, finally touches you with those cold fingers and lets you out of that bedroom you’re locked up in. 
Feitan loves you, in his own sick, twisted way, and the sooner you realize that the better - maybe you never will, but Feitan will always, always be there waiting, his gaze never faltering once from your figure. 
You’re just too mesmerizing, after all - and Feitan’s never been particularly good at denying himself what’s his. 
652 notes · View notes
luffyvace · 4 months
Note
HIIII hru !!! may i please ask for some feitan fluffs hcs 😩 i love this tiny man with all my soul
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IM DOING GOOD!! YES YOU MAY!!! I ACTUALLY HAVE SUCH A DEEP ROOTED LOVE FOR HIM I DONT TALK ABOUT HIM OFTEN ENOUGH💥💥
(omg this reminds me i’m supposed to be doing the whole troupe and chuuya x male reader- i’m so all over the place but the point is another dabble of feitan hcs will be here in the future! 😋)
also ooc/fanon him since this is fluff :)
tw: death…and torture (i use “unalive” instead of d!e/k!ll)
alrighty so you said fluff headcanons and it’s highly likely you’ll get fluffy feitan if you’ve known each other for a long time (since meteor)
i’m going to dabble in reader that is both in and outside of the troupe because i can :)
so for reader that’s in the troupe first of all no pda
hardly any weakness was displayed besides sadness/anger or mourning (and some funny moments)
theres no need for cuddles during business
unless your like uvo and simply don’t care
then it annoys the crap out of him <3
it’s not like he doesn’t want your affection—just not in public
will cuddle you in private tho
y’all usually sit there in silence or read together
he can be a little spoon or big spoon it doesn’t bother him
he tries his best but he’s never let anyone else so close to him before
if you introduce something to him and he likes it he’ll do it back
because why would you do it to him if you wouldn’t want it done to you right?
im gonna assume you have either a apartment which you unalived the owner of or y’all live in meteor still
he’ll let you choose really he doesn’t care where you stay
he’d even unalive a high status person to steal their mansion if that’s what you want
your obviously strong and have some sort of nen if your in the troupe so he doesn’t bother worrying
although if your like kortopi he’ll stay vigilant for you
even though you can use nen to defend yourself as well
btw if your not a pda person the troupe is grateful
aint no body wanna see allat-
he doesn’t know how to cook or clean and since your both from meteor so i hope you learn or already know how
otherwise y’all eat what y’all can when y’all can
whether you steal a five star gourmet meal or just wait for the next opportunity like a vending machine
i don’t advise you ask for a pet by the way
he’ll tortu£ it and i’m not talking about strapping it down or anything
just purely scarring them 😭
if you be firm about him stopping he will
unless it’s a big scary dog or smth
then he’s more likely to take em under his wing and train them to be vicious
will scare people with said animal
for stay at home reader…. (most of these also apply for troupe reader<3)
i say stay at home bc with his portion of money you could buy anything you want
if you tell him what you want u can get it for free cuz he steals it
but
if you want to take a bath together it would take more than a god to convince him
seriously he sees no reason in it
once you do tho
at first he is on one end of the tub and your on the other
as time goes on he’ll let you lean back into his chest as he scrubs your hair
he lets you play in his hair
don’t tell ANYONE
he don’t like vulnerability so if you tell someone he won’t do it for like 2 weeks
you think he’s never gonna do it again until you crawl into his lap while he’s reading on the bed and ask really sweetly
he’s all yours after that
HIS HAIR IS SO FLUFFY!!
and yes he lets you play with it :)
you get to put it into all types of styles!!
especially since it’s a decent length!
not really interested in playing in your hair
he tries but the rubber band always ends up tangled in your hair
if you kiss him goodnight he will start to initiate it as well
thats one thing he will forever reciprocate
loves your humor
no matter the type
but he especially loves when you laugh at his dark jokes
youve seen him smile before 💖
warms your heart knowing no one else gets this side of him
not judgmental of your looks for obvious reasons
yall got bigger problems
dismisses anytime you degrade yourself
he be speaking facts
”the way your hair looks gonna unalive you?”
”your pimples will st^b you while sleeping?”
no? you goofy goober so why does it matter
don’t argue him on this
genuinely doesn’t like the idea of you being hurt
by him or someone else
dont expect anyone who does harm to you to see the tomorrow sun
even if you plead for them don’t waste your breath pleading you need to be saying goodbye
real loyal partner
as loyal to you as he is the troupe
you and the troupe are his forever commitments
no matter what he could never stop loving you
you guys practically never argue
hes not necessarily hotheaded but will say what’s on his mind and if someone disagrees he does it anyway
thing is he compensates with you💗
if he knows your nitpicking he ignores it but if it’s genuinely something you don’t like he won’t fight it
also he cleans up well if you don’t like to see blood/gore in your place after he’s done t•rturing someone
he respects and listens to your opinions and feelings
would love if your a sadistic person as well but he understands if your not
also if your not in the troupe he teaches you nen
only the troupe knows your together and where you stay for your safety
your safety is definitely on his priority list
truly cares about and loves you
enjoy!!!! i’ll prob come back and read my own hcs bc I LOVE HIM
thank you for this request i loved writing every letter of it♡
220 notes · View notes
shiftingparadise · 11 months
Note
May I request a Feitan x Reader please? Cute stuff cute stuff everywhere. A fluff with Feitan trying to confess his feelings and failing a few times before actually getting it right.
Hi guys!! I'm back <3 I hope you enjoy this one. If you don't, or if you would like to give some feedback, feel free to do so.
Warnings: none
Word count: 1294
“What?”, you shyly asked. “You keep staring at me, it’s freaking me out, Fei”. “Tsk, wasn’t looking at you”, his cold eyes darted to the side. “Right”, you sighed before you got up. “Where’s boss anyway? We’ve been waiting in this building for ages. I’m getting tired”. “You can  sleep here”, Hisoka smirked as he pointed toward his lap. “Fuck off”, you picked up a stone and threw it toward the magician, earning a chuckle in response. “I’m going outside for a bit. I’m getting bored”. 
No one answered. Everyone seemed to be in their own little world. Hisoka playing with his cards, Shalnark updating his device, Feitan sharpening his knife… 
“Hm”, you contentedly smiled as the moonlight greeted your skin, a soft breeze carried the familiar scent of the city toward you. 
“What are you doing?”, Feitan’s voice came from behind you. “Nothing”, your smile slowly faded. “I’ve noticed”, Feitan now standing next to you. “Noticed?”, you frowned as your eyes scanned his expression. 
“Cold as ever”, you thought. You always failed to read him, leaving you clueless as to what he was thinking or feeling.
“Your eyes”, he said, turning to look at you, “They’re sad”. “H-huh?”, you widened your eyes, “T-that’s not true Fei-“. “It’s fine”, he kept his eyes locked on yours, “You don’t have to talk about it”.
Silence. 
“But I’d like you too”, he awkwardly added as he stared into the distance. “It’s nothing”, you forced a smile. 
For a second, you noticed a hint of disappointment in his eyes. It was the first time you saw any kind of emotion on his face. 
“Pretty, right? The moon, I mean”, you nervously chuckled. 
It was so obvious. Too obvious that you liked him. 
He shrugged his shoulders in response. “You’re prett-“, he stopped talking before finishing his sentence. “I-I’m what?”, a blush on your cheek. “An idiot”, he clenched his jaw before kicking a stone in front of him. “I’m going back, boss will be here soon”, and just like that, he disappeared. 
--- 
“Careful”, his hand wrapped around your arm, holding you back. “Oh, thanks, Fei”, you shyly smiled, “Didn’t notice we were going to cross a street”. “You never notice anything”. 
Why did he seem annoyed? 
“I’m sorry, Fei”, you lowered your eyes. “Don’t”, he softly placed his hand on the back of your head, gently massaging it for a second before pulling away. “Don’t apologize”. “Hm”, your cheeks red. Without saying anything else, his hand glided down to your waist, gently pushing you forward, “We can cross now”. 
Butterflies. The way his hand gently pinched your waist, the way his voice sounded so soft when he talked to you… 
“Where are the others?”, you asked as you crossed. 
No answer. 
“Fei?”, you frowned as he kept his hand on your waist. “No others”, he softly answered. “H-huh? You said we were going to meet the others-“, “We are. In the evening”. “T-then what are we doing here?”, you stopped walking. “Wanted to get a coffee with you”, he placed his hands back in his pockets. “Oh”, you looked at the ground, a blush on your cheeks. 
Was this a date? Did he…? No, Fei wasn’t like this. 
“You don’t want to?”, his brows pulled together. “N-no, I could use some coffee now”. “Good”, he started walking again, not looking back at you. 
You walked behind him for a while before finally arriving at a cute, little café. 
“So cozy”, your eyes unwillingly lit up. “Hm, thought you’d like this place. What’d you want?”. “A latte, please”, you sat down as he went to the counter. 
“Here”, he carefully placed your coffee in front of you. “Thanks, Fei”. “Hm”, a small smile on his face. “W-what? A-are you smiling?”, your eyes went round in surprise. 
This was the first time you'd seen him do that. 
“Tsk, you don’t think I smile?”. “I-I’ve never seen you smile before”, you awkwardly cleared your throat. 
Silence. Again. 
“S-so, why were you smiling?”, you took a sip of your coffee. “Fei”, his voice sounded raspy, “I like it when you call me that”. 
Bright red. Your cheeks went bright red.
“So messy”, he leaned over the table before his thumb stroked over your soft lips. “H-huh?”, your eyes wide open. “There was some foam on your lips”, he  sat back down again. 
How could his touch feel so soft? So caring? You know what he did, what he enjoyed doing. It’s not like you were much better. You were also a Spider but… Feitan could be truly cruel, terrifying even. 
“I want to tell you something”, he stared out the window, looking at the cars passing. For some reason, he hadn’t touched his coffee yet. “Oh?”, you took another sip from yours. “I really like y-“, he paused again. “I really like coffee”, he lowered his eyes as he corrected himself. “Really?”, you smiled, “Me too. We should do this more often then”. You were clueless as to what he wanted to say. “Fine”, he coldly answered before finally taking a sip. 
--- 
“Dead, huh?”, you pulled your knees closer to your chest. The bright city lights greeted you like an old friend. You usually loved this. Sitting on a balcony of a hotel room, a soft breeze grazing over your cheeks… But not tonight. The loss of your friend far outweighed any pleasant feeling. 
“Dead”, Feitan said, sitting down beside you. “Where are the others?”, a cold look in your eyes. “Dealing with it in their own way”, he studied your face. “Why did you come here?”, you softly asked. “Wanted to make sure you were okay”. “There’s no time to grieve, Fei. Whether I’m fine or not, it doesn’t matter”. “It matters to me”, he looked at the sky. 
Why? Feitan wasn’t the kind of man to care about others, at least not like this. He cared about the Spiders, but he would never care about their feelings. 
“H-huh?”, you froze as Feitan placed a strand of hair behind your ear. You slowly looked to the side, only to find warm eyes staring back at you. He didn’t smile, but his eyes… They were never like this. “Pretty”, he murmured. “W-what-“, “I care for you, Y/N”, he interrupted you as his hand rested on your cheek. “Want to see you happy”, his thumb now softly grazed over your bottom lip. 
“I am-“, “You’re not”, he frowned, “Don’t think I don’t notice”. 
You didn’t want to cry. You didn’t want to seem weak, but … You never had this. Someone who cared for you, who wanted to see you happy. 
“Don’t”, he tried to sound as kind as possible. “Don’t cry”, he gently brushed a tear from your cheek. “I’m sorry”, you softly sobbed. “Don’t be”, two hands now wrapped around your face, forcing you to look at him. “I’m not sorry either”. “Sorry? For what-“, his lips met yours before you could finish your sentence. 
Feitan wasn’t sure if you wanted this or if you felt the same. He never did something like this before, but it felt right. He could feel a warm sensation in his chest, butterflies in his stomach…
“F-fei?”. “Talk to me”, his eyes still closed, a hand resting on the back of your head. “W-what do you want?”. “You”, he immediately answered, “I want you”. 
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illubean · 2 months
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Can you do would diff Hunter X Hunter characters care if they had a short s/o if you haven’t already? (like 4’11, 5 foot)
HXH With a Short!S/o
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Characers: Kurapika Kurta, Leorio Paladaknight, Illumi Zoldyck, Feitan Porter Type: Headcanons, Gn!reader
I've already written a Chrollo version which you can read here
Warnings: none
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Kurapika Kurta
he doesn't really pay much mind to your height
it doesn't bother him or anything and its not like he could change your genetics
he's a huge help though
if you can't reach something he'll grab it for you and makes sure there's a stool in the house for times he's not around
Kurapika is around average height (some people still think 5'7 is short for a guy tho) sooo sometimes he needs the stool tool... (for some reason the kitchen cabinets in my house are SO HIGH UP)
Leorio Paladaknight
he's the tallest one out of all the characters on this list soo good luck
he's also the biggest tease about it too
he likes to lean his arm on the top of your head, pretend not to see you when you call him or hold things over your head and watch you jump for them
it's annoying. kick him in the shins.
sometimes when you try to give him kisses he likes to stand as straight as possible so you either have to climb him somehow or make him double over in pain lean down
Illumi Zoldyck
he's about a foot (if not more) taller than you so he will quite literally look over you
not even in a teasing way or anything he just genuinely did not see you
tbh he has no interest in you like at all unless you have some sort of ability or skill that makes up for your lack in height 🧍‍♂️
sooo being his s/o you've found a way to use your height to your advantage when it comes to combat
Illumi dates to marry and eventually have kids so if you're capable of birth he really really hopes his kids do NOT get the short gene 😭
Feitan Porter
Feitan is already only like 5'1 so if you're STILL shorter than that...I have no words
he doesn't give you shit for being short since he can relate to you
if anyone makes fun of either of you for your height he will beat them up
one upside to you guys being around the same height is you don't have to lean too far to kiss him <3
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bwabys-scenarios · 9 months
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Feitan Thoughts
feitan x reader
Feitan is the meanest mfker alive to every single person in his life.
Well, maybe except for you.
He’s definitely no Prince Charming with you, but his rough edges smooth out enough to let you touch him without getting hurt.
Feitan keeps you close to him, whether that be you living with him or him living with you. He’s not the best roommate, but you don’t really have a choice. Once Feitan has decided that he can’t live without you, you either live together voluntarily or he takes you away.
He’d rather not take you away. The only reasons he would is if his enemy found you or you attempted to cut him out of your life. And he just couldn’t have that, could he?
Feitan enjoys the simple things about you. The way you giggle when something funny happens, the gasp you make when your favorite characters on TV does something unexpected, your pretty smile when he comes through the door..
His favorite activity is to watch you, whether you’re aware of that or not. Even before you live together he… lingers. He’s peeking at you from behind doorways, waiting for you outside the bathroom while you shower.
He’s surprisingly shy when you ask him how he feels about you. Feitan won’t answer, he’ll just grumble under his breath and walk away. If he wasn’t wearing his coat, you’d be able to see the lightest tint of pink in his pale cheeks.
For the first few weeks you know him, you’ll struggle to figure out if he likes you, or is planning to kill you. Of course, Feitan isn’t planning on hurting you. No, he could never bring himself to scar your pretty skin. But he doesn’t do anything to quell your anxieties, only continuing to observe you from the shadows.
When you finally realize he likes you, you’ll have to be the one to make a move. He desperately wants you, but his pride won’t allow him to show that. Feitan almost hates you for making him feel so weak, so lovesick.
“Fei?”
He doesn’t look up from the manga he’d been reading, but you know he heard you.
“Can I… can I hug you?”
Feitan feels all of his blood rush to his dick. You’d just asked him for a hug, but the thought of you touching him turned him on way too much for his own comfort.
He’ll calm himself down enough to answer. “… not now. Later.”
Feitan waits for you to walk away before he sprints to his room to jerk off. God, he hates the way his body reacts to you. It’s so annoying, so human of him.
But later he will hug you, letting his arms hold your waist and his nose bury itself into your hair.
It might take him a while to calm down enough to hug you without cumming in his pants.
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winxanity-ii · 5 months
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HUNTER X HUNTER MASTERLIST
╰ ⌞🇲‌🇦‌🇮‌🇳‌-🇲‌🇦‌🇸‌🇹‌🇪‌🇷‌🇱‌🇮‌🇸‌🇹‌⌝
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⨂ LEORIO PARADINIGHT
⨁ ILLUMI ZOLDYCK
⨂ PARISTON HILL
⨁ SHALNARK RYUSEIH
⨂ KURAPIKA KURTA
⨁ GING FREECSS
⨂ POKKURU
⨂ CHROLLO LUCILFER
⨁ HANZŌ HATTORI
⨂ HISOKA MOROW
⨁ KAITO/KITE
⨂ MERUEM
⨁ KNOV
⨂ FEITAN PORTOR
⨁ UVOGIN
⨂ WING/UINGU
⨁ GON FREECSS
⨂ KALLUTO ZOLDYCK
⨁ KILLUA ZOLDYCK
⨂ NEFERPITOU
⨁ SHAIAPOUF
⨂ COLT
⨁ MENTHUTHUYOUPI
⨂ MULTI-SHIPS
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**There will be NO smut/semi-smut work written about Gon, Killua, nor Kalluto—frankly any minor during the HunterxHunter era—1) they're minors and if you're writing sexual things about/having to do with minors, please go to the nearest police station and turn yourself in & 2) I grew up reading/watching HunterxHunter so they are practically my babies—no matter how beefed up they make them in Chimera Ant Arc; the most you'll get out of me is innocent highschool romance, lol.
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after-witch · 1 year
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Tell Me [Yandere Feitan x Reader]
Title: Tell Me [Yandere Feitan x Reader]
Synopsis: Feiten interaction based on the interaction prompt:  "Please, if I'm doing something wrong, just tell me. I can't read your mind." 
Word Count: 561
notes: yandere, kidnapped reader
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"Please, if I'm doing something wrong, just tell me. I can't read your mind."
Your voice is so much shakier than you meant it to be, but it can’t be helped. Not when it took you days and days just to muster the courage to say something like this to your captor. Not when cold sweat dapples your neck, and your arms are shaking as you stand in front of him, eyes flitting everywhere but his face. 
To the wall. To the kitchen cupboards. To the floor.
He doesn’t say anything. You don’t even know if he’s looking at you. You’re not sure if it’s better or worse not to know. But then, it’s not like you know much anyway, do you? You’re never sure if what you’re doing pleases him or angers him, because he seems to have the same reaction regardless.
What were you supposed to do, when someone kidnapped you and kept you locked in some musty home with a dark basement that you’d–thankfully–never seen? What were you supposed to do, when that someone could turn their nails into knives, and who exuded such a terrible dark presence at times that it brought you to your knees? 
Someone who, above all, kept you constantly on your toes. He wanted you to obey him, you understood that much. But what else? When you offered him a tentative smile, thinking it might make him more cordial to you, he sneered. When you quietly asked if he’d like something to eat after he came home late at night, he yanked your ear and ordered you back to your bedroom. 
What, what, what did he want?
“I can’t read your mind,” he says suddenly, voice toned to a mimicry of yours.
Your body jerks reflectively when he speaks, and again when he steps forward, and there it is, there’s this pressure around him. Dark and weighty, making your heart begin to pound. He steps closer until you’re staring down at his shoes, until you can feel his breath on your face.
“Funny. Because… feels like I can read yours.” 
You have to look up, don’t you? So you do, throat tight, not sure what to expect, only knowing that it’s going to make your stomach churn.
And it does, immediate, hard, sour. 
Because he’s smiling.
“You think, if you do what I say, I’ll be easy on you.” 
He takes another step, this time to the side, until he’s circling you. Slow, step by step.
“You think, if you so pleasing, I like you better.”
He stops--he’s standing behind you, and your muscles tense as he places his hands on either side of your waist.
“Stupid, stupid…” He presses himself against your back, in something that on anyone else might be called an embrace. But with Feitan, it feels more like a metal trap waiting to spring. 
And it does, when the arms at your side snake around your waist and pull you tight, into a grip that you know, in some primal way, could easily break your ribs. You’re frozen to the spot, like you ought to be, in the face of such a predator.
“Doesn’t matter what you do,” he says, breathy and quiet. His grip tightens enough to hurt. “How you act. What you say. Because… you are here. I am here.” There’s warm breath against your back, but goosebumps still crawl up your arm with every word. “And that? That not changing.”
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