#find the right thing to listen to anyway. and my brain is like u need one device playing media and 1 playing music

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#hhhhh 🫠 gotta love when instead of doing literally anything im stuck anxiously vibrating for hours #like if u just did things. things would get done! thats how this works! wtf r u doing??? #2 manuscripts that r supposed to be done now and 2 applications left to complete #my mum thinks i should let my boss kno thst my brain is collapsing in on itself and like yea i prob should bc i should apologize for being #all weird and disorganized. my brain feels so weird. like it takes so so much processing power for me to remember wtf i was doing and what #i have to do next but like if i tell her it wont really change anything bc its like i have to meet these deadlines either way #also i have to b careful bc i dont wanna say yea i got horrifically burned out taking measurements but like im sure itll be fine that i #have to go back to taking measurements in January. like no prob. weve only been building up to it all year #and i kno if i say im burned out she'll be like u gotta relax more! i told u to relax so we wouldnt b here! #and then i have to be like no u dont fucking understand that i cant relax. i never relax. my life is a series of tasks and thinking abt #tasks and worrying forever. if u tell me to relax i will agony spiral for hours not relaxing and not being productive 🙃 #i just need my brain to allow me to focus long enough to get these fucking manuscripts done #but no my brain is like if u wanna do thing u gotta find the perfect audio but also i cant focus as well with audio but also i cant even #find the right thing to listen to anyway. and my brain is like u need one device playing media and 1 playing music #and like no stop. just fucking focus and stop falling apart #time time time not enough and far too much #its so weird bc i think im pretty level headed and self aware despite how my brain is sometimes. but it keeps doing this thing where #like everything gets so distorted and im like jesus its a good thing otherwise pretty grounded #blah tomorrow well see whst comes outta my mouth when i tslk to my boss #ugh im so tired whyyyyyyyyy #i cant even make proper time to draw #unrelated

[childotkw]

(omg sorry for the long post!!)

I have this fanfic idea in my head for years now and it is one of them i often fantasize about (yea i have many different ones. i just let them play in my head like a movie while staring into space or while listening to music) but anyway, sometimes harry is a boy but most time hes a girl version. He/she has this mad talent about getting in and out of any situation or place she needs to. He/she has this shady business where she steals for clients in exchange for money, or sometimes for pleasure because hes a bloody magpie and likes shiny things. The harder the mission the more she likes it (danger junky). I even imagined his/her apartments/hide-out place in great details (and the booby traps). Anyway, the ministry is under Voldemorts control, under guise as Minister Riddle. He gets involved in trying to trap her/him after she manages to sneak into his mansion (and skillfully avoids all the detection tools) and she robs his ring, escapes right under his nose too... (She has no clue that she robbed from a dark lord yet, that wasnt in her extensive research). That moment is when his obsession starts. She is already wanted by the ministry but he now gets involved. I have this scene where he lays a trap and she is in his grasp however she uses the ring as a bartering chip for her freedom (she thought she might have to use it when she realised a dark lord was after her). She placed it in a dangerous place surrounded by enemies, a place only she can sneak into but something goes wrong cos theres a rat in voldemorts inner circle and she gets caught. Before getting caught she manages to send the ring to him but he still decides to get her out of there and gets into full murder/war scene (he wanted to get rid of this group of enemies anyway). Shes pissed of. She could have gotten herself out even after the torture sessions, thank you very much. 😂 Anyway a fic full of (sexual or other) tension between the two, trying to get one over the other. A lot of wump, vulnerability, power play, childhood trauma, inner demons ect.. Theres so much more but ye, sorry, just felt like sharing and see where u go off on this haha, cos ur brain is super interesting and i never had the skill to write something even if i have so many ideas. Mind you, i tried starting on my own novel but im just not a writer, if something could just take it straight from my brain to paper, that would be awesome 😂😂😂 (futur AI?? Haha) xxx

(Imma borrow a concept from American Gods for this because it's too good not to!)

When Harry is four she finds a coin on the ground. It's gold, and shiny and to a little girl it's the prettiest thing she’s ever seen. So she picks it up and puts it in her pocket - and it's the best decision she ever made.

Because her pretty little trinket is, not that she knows it at that point, a leprechaun's coin. Imbued with pure luck, this little coin changes her life, and brings with it certain traits.

A need for mischief, the ability to come out of any situation on top, a love for all things shiny. And that combination, introduced to someone so young, well...it's only natural that Harry would grow a taste for thievery.

Years fly by and Harry, with her lucky coin held close, begins to gain a reputation as someone who can get in and out of impossible situations, in and out of impenetrable places, and collect valuable items. She can't help herself - it's almost an addiction, and no one is better than her.

Her current wanted poster - no image, because she's too lucky for that - is framed on the wall of her hideout.

Harry never turns down an interesting job, so when someone asks her to break into Minister Riddle's house and steal some documents, she agrees because why wouldn't she? Riddle's a dick of a politician, and Harry might not be heavily involved in the politics of her country but she gets a special kind of joy from fucking over assholes.

She breaks into his house, grabs the documents, and on her way out she sees a ring. It's gaudy, truly a hideous thing, but Harry wants it.

So she takes it.

How was she to know that that ring would be the thing that brings down the full attention of the Minister on her? How was she to know that her dickhead of a Minister was actually a fucking Dark Lord and petty as shit.

Harry likes a challenge but she likes living more - and something tells her that even with her lucky coin, she wouldn't come out of that fight unscathed.

And so begins their dance. Harry on the run, Riddle at her heels, back and forth, up and down, the two of them circling each other like cats.

Riddle's growing obsession with the person clever and quick enough to outmanoeuvre him.

Harry's addiction to adrenaline making her take more risks.

This is the most fun either of them have had in years.

#dailydreamer57 #HP #harry potter #tom riddle #tomarry #Heads or Tails AU

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi,

is it possible to orgasm just from your hands/fingers? every time i try it doesn’t feel like anything.. as if im trying to tickle myself. i don’t want to get a vibrator ‘cause im scared ill become reliant on it :( sometimes i feel bad cause people my age are making themselves finish. i think im broken. any tips will help.. thank u

hi anon,

in my heart of hearts I have to assume you already know the answer to the first question. humans have been jacking it for longer than we've even been humans, because even monkey brains know that touch genital feel good. there's evidence to suggest that human fetuses may begin touching their genitals for fun in utero, and tons of animals also masturbate - even these cute little guys!

and you know his rodent ass doesn't have a vibrator.

all of which is to say that the urge to crank it is a powerful and ancient one, and I simply can't believe that you believe that nobody was actually managing to nut until the vibrator was invented in the late 19th century (although that was, admittedly, hardly the first sex toy; there are dildos that are thousands of years old that can attest to that). I suspect the question really bothering you here isn't whether a hands-only orgasm is possible (obviously yes), but whether there's something wrong with you for not having been able to achieve such a thing.

the answer to that is obviously no; I can happily confirm right off the bat that you're not broken on the basis of your sexual function because that's not how that works. there's no singular mode of human sexuality that's the "normal" one that people should be afraid to stray too far away from; what's "normal" varies from person to person, frequently from day to day. what matters isn't being like other people, it's ensuring that you feel safe and comfortable in your own specific relationship with sex.

it seems that you're not at the moment, because of this orgasm insecurity, so I want to talk about that. first off: if your hands aren't cutting it, why not get a vibrator? you say you're scared of becoming reliant on it, but what's the alternative? never coming ever? bullshit. my brain chemistry doesn't naturally balance itself out very well, so I'm reliant on lexapro to be a functional fucking person. that shit's great. being reliant on things that categorically and harmlessly improves your quality of life rules, everybody should do it.

listen, man. everyone has different sexual needs. for some people, it's the intensity and consistency that can only be provided by a battery-powered assistant. I cannot tell you how many people have come to me expressing despair that they can't finish with a partner without also using a sex toy, as if that's not a totally fine thing to need or want. just use a vibrator it's literally fine it does not matter. we're all living on a melting rock ruled by capitalism, just use a vibrator if you want to and if your partner has a problem with it find a better partner.

also. hey. look at me. listen to me. an orgasm does not need to be the single defining factor of whether you're having a good and healthy sexual experience. go read this. I know you're not orgasming when you masturbate, but are you, like, enjoying yourself? does it feel good? because that's really the only thing that matters, and I want you to keep that in mind no matter what you decide to do next in your sexual journey. the point is to have fun, not to reliably produce an orgasm like clockwork.

anyway. you're not broken. get a vibrator if you want; I recommend this one for beginners. stop comparing yourself to others and be kind to yourself.

#sex edventures 2023

[anzynai]

Study Break!

Riddle & Ace & Chenya (TWST)

a/n: WOOOO another twst fic done! and its lee riddle!! surprisingly enough, i actually got a lot of lee riddle requests (which i dont blame u nom nom) so im planning to write those requests in the future. still, here i combined two of them so i hope u dont mind! this was actually meant to be posted much sooner but well.. got sidetracked. plus, i wanted to write another fic before i posted this one. (that did not happen) ANYWAY, enjoy!

summary: when ace is forced to study with riddle, he finds that things may not be so bad after-all when a friend of riddle’s comes to visit!

word count: 1.5k

——

“Urghhh..” Ace groaned to himself. “This sucks..” Slouching over his papers, he wanted nothing more than to just go back to his room and sleep for ten years.

See, it was his fault, wasn’t it? That he had to waste three hours of his day on schoolwork instead of doing literally anything else. It’s true that he did get a.. well, less than favorable score on his test, but no! What he blamed himself on was the fact he had accidentally let Riddle see it!

And now, he was here, in the Heartslabyul Lounge, textbooks as far as the eye can see (or really, only covering the table) and Riddle drilling lesson after lesson into his brain. He was sure that if he stayed there a second longer, his brain would quite literally melt.

He hated that Riddle was actually a really good tutor. This wasn’t Ace’s first time getting a tutoring session with the Housewarden, despite the other’s busy schedule. But.. he had to be in the mood to study, you know?

“Do you get it, Ace? This is important,” Riddle asked, causing another groan to pass through the freshman’s lips.

“Yes… but..” He said, knowing full well that he hadn't been listening to Riddle for the past five minutes. “Can’t we just take a small break?”

“Not when you haven’t been listening to me at all. Do you really think you’re deserving of a break?” Riddle narrowed his eyes, his arms crossed. Ace, on the other hand, averted his eyes after getting through his initial shock.

“So you noticed..”

“Of course I did.”

“I just can’t focus! It’s just one test. I’ll do better on the next one.” Ace shrugged, looking out the window. He could be doing other things right now. Should he just.. say he needs to go to the bathroom and just leave? No, it’s Riddle. He would wait until Ace got back and punish him. And no one wanted to be on the receiving end of Riddle’s punishments.

“But you didn’t do well on this one. Tell me, what will you do if this material shows up on the final exam?” Riddle questioned, doubtful.

“Eh..”

“Hehe, playing teacher?” A voice suddenly cut out, startling the two. Ace jerked his head over towards the source to see.. a floating head?!

“Ah! It’s you!” What was his name? Arte… Pinky..? Huh???

“Chenya,” Riddle sighed, then looked up, a glare directed at him, rather than Ace. “Stop using your signature spell to scare others.”

“Hehe.” Chenya winked, then the rest of his body appeared.

“Freaky…” Ace mumbled to himself, still recovering from his heart attack earlier. How did he get in here anyway? When did he get here?

“What are you doing here?” Riddle asked the RSA student.

“Can’t I just visit my friends~?” Chenya put his hands behind his head, casually.

Riddle pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m assuming you’ve already met with Trey then?”

“Nope,” Chenya started, popping the p. “I actually thought I was gonna see you two together. You two used to be like, attached at the hip.”

“We were not.” Riddle looked away.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatcha doing?” He said, half-walking, half-skipping over to the table. Sevens, him and Floyd would get along swimmingly— no pun intended.

“As you can see, I’m tutoring one of my freshmen. He got an unacceptable grade on his last test and I am going to ensure that doesn’t happen again,” Riddle explains, gesturing at the textbooks sprawled about on the table.

“Way to put all my business out there, Housewarden..” Ace muttered under his breath. Riddle pointedly ignored him.

“Looks like he’s been working hard. I heard him ask for a break! Why not give the little freshie one?”

“Little freshie?!” Ace can hardly be grateful for Chenya trying to convince the housewarden to give Ace a break when he’s called that! Still.. a break would be nice.

Riddle looks between the two, a hopeful glint in each of their eyes.

Then, he sighed. “Fine. I will permit silent reading for ten minutes,” He responded, at last, handing him an alchemy textbook.

“Eh?! That’s not a break at all!” Ace exclaimed, before he could help it. He withdrew slightly at the glare that Riddle sent him.

“Yeah. I mean, like, something away from studying. Come on, the Chenya is visiting, do you think I’d wanna watch you two studying?” Chenya whined, throwing his arms out. He seemed very.. mischievous. Clearly, this was not his first rodeo.

“And what do you suggest?” Riddle raised a brow.

“I know!” Chenya declared, like he had been waiting for it, then he set his sights on Ace. Ace startled when Chenya started walking towards him, getting closer and cupping his ear to whisper into it.

Ace lit up while Riddle grimaced. Ace looked at the housewarden, newfound fervor in his demeanor. Ace had a mission and he could tell Riddle was not looking forward to finding out what it was.

“What are you two scheming over there?” Riddle demanded and Chenya shook, like he forgot the other was there. Then, the same fervor was in his eyes.

“Get him!” Chenya shouted, suddenly, as if Ace were a soldier or a knight or… something. Still, Ace obliged, running to pounce Riddle. Riddle didn’t seem to stop him, even though he very well could have, so the freshman could tell that he was curious about where this was going to go.

Then, Ace wiggled his fingers on Riddle’s sides and Chenya joined in, tickling Riddle’s ribs and armpits.

“H-huh?! Unhahand me!”

“No way! You were right, he is ticklish!” Ace exclaimed, almost incredulously.

“Hehe, isn’t he?” Chenya giggled. And that’s when it seemed to click in Riddle’s mind that that’s what they were whispering about. Riddle bit his lip, trying to resist but it was all over before he even began.

“Lehehehet gohoho!” Riddle laughed, an unwilling blush rising to his cheeks. Ignoring all that Riddle was, he looked so.. cute and innocent here.

“Nuh uh! This is how I want to spend my break!” Ace started poking his fingers in between Riddle’s ribs, loudly and obnoxiously singing some classical music, like Riddle was a piano. He knew he would probably die later, but… it was worth it.

When he hit a particular sensitive spot on his ribs, Riddle actually snorted. Yep. Definitely worth it.

Chenya was squeezing Riddle’s thighs, lightly grazing the tops of his knees all the while.

“You twohohoho, stahahap!” Riddle cried, squirming and trying to grab his magic pen from his pocket. That is, until Ace started scratching at Riddle’s waist, grazing his sides just barely, but enough to drive him mad.

“No way! Not when I found out my housewarden is,” Ace started, teasingly. “…this ticklish~” He enunciated his words with a poke to his side, laughing at how Riddle jolted each time.

“Teehee, he is just as ticklish as he was when he was little! So cuteee!” Chenya cooed, his slender fingers exploring Riddle’s tummy and bellybutton.

“Shuhuhut uhuhup!” Riddle screeched, his face bright red and Ace wasn’t really sure whether it was from embarrassment or anger. Maybe both. Maybe this shouldn’t go on much longer, he thought, thinking back about the times Riddle had used his unique magic on him. Riddle was better about it now, but he definitely still had his limits.

“Seems like you’re having fun?” A voice called out of seemingly nowhere. All three heads jerked towards the sound, spotting Trey in the doorway.

“Trehehehey! Mahahahake theheheem stohop!” Riddle giggled, finally giving up on trying to break free as he looked at Trey who chuckled in response.

“Alright, don’t you guys think he’s had enough?” Trey asked, walking closer to them but never actually stopping. Ace looked at his house warden and backed away. Chenya got in a few more pokes in before he stopped, as well, deciding to jog over to Trey.

“Trey! Your best friend is here!” He exclaimed, pointing at himself and winking. A fond smile made its way onto Trey’s face and Ace offhandedly wonders about the history between the three.

It is almost silent for a few moments, save for Riddle exhaling slowly and deeply.

“I hope that made for a sufficient break.” Riddle glared at the two, but especially Ace. Likely for giving into Chenya’s whims, which.. fair, but shouldn’t he be more angry at Chenya who suggested tickling him in the first place?!

“It definitely did, Housewarden!” Ace admitted, pushing any fear of retaliation that he might’ve had, recalling the moments just now. If Riddle hadn’t collared him, he must be safe, right? And well, it’s Riddle. Riddle would never do something so petty like tickle him back.

“Whatever. Let’s just get back to learning. And there will be no breaks until we are finished,” The Housewarden declares, sitting up to pick up one of the textbooks on the table. However, he scooted closer towards Ace, so that they were more diagonal than across.

Ace decided not to think about it too much. That is, until Riddle began poking him in the side every time he lost focus or got an answer wrong.

He supposed that this was what he deserved, so he didn't say anything. At least pokes in the side were all it was…

He shivered at the thought of Riddle finding out about how embarrassingly ticklish he was, but he’ll save that for another day! Now, he just has to get through this tutoring session… Ughhhh…

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland tickle #twst tickling #ace trappola #chenya #riddle rosehearts #ticklish!riddle #lee!riddle #ler!ace #ler!chenya #tickling #tickle fic #jai’s fic

[poppy-metal]

sdf DONT ENCOURAGE ME that anon who was like "y'all for real???" is actually talking about me (rightfully) bc my brain was like ok but what if he's ur big stepbro tho.... bc ik he'd be insane amounts of obsessed w u but also meticulously careful bc god forbid you ever find out that he's doing (literally pick from the deck of perv behavior bc cmon. look at him. hes so pathetic. screams) bc hes convinced u would hate him n find him disgusting and LEAVE him and then he'd have to kill u :(( so he hides it VERY VERY well except u kinda have this buzzy feeling inside whenever he's around and u maybe KNOW deep down that the way he looks at u and speaks to u and prolly THINKS about u is not the way that he should be doing any of those things. n so now my swiss cheese brain is like "ok well imagine trying really hard to get him to fuck up n catch him in the act of Being a Perv. bc that's the only way that you'll Know" and then also imagine him losing his mind when u do find out and instead of being disgusted by him are begging for his cock. anyways,,, pls the brainrot is incurable im gonna die

im gonna fall off a cliff bella style why would you feed the fire like this.

please you're his precious baby sister:(( he has like..this protective streak over you, feels the need to hide you from his true nature, but not enough to actually stay away from you, because his skin feels like it needs to be clawed off if he doesn't know what you're up too. and yeah, maybe its weird he gets scary quiet when you mention other boys flirting with you, and yeah maybe every one of them has ended up dead, and yeah maybe you're a little bit too codependent with him, like maybe you shouldn't be running into his room whenever you have a nightmare at 18, maybe you shouldn't be begging him to hold you until you fall asleep, maybe you shouldn't do alot of things, but you dont care. corey makes you feel safe and loved and no matter what he'll always be there.

maybe its strange that when you find your panties in his dresser drawer, and you see the dried cum on them, that you dont freak out. maybe its strange that you feel a little happy about it. maybe its strange you wait until he thinks you're not around till you press your ear against his door just to listen to him moan as he uses a pair of your panties to fuck his own hand. maybe its bad that you touch your cunt to the sounds of your stepbrother saying your name as he gets off. maybe its bad to imagine what his cock looks like, how it'd feel, splitting you open, filling you up.

its probably all bad, but it is what it is. and you think nothing would feel more right than seducing corey into taking your virginity. its always felt like it should belong to him anyway. and who would make it better for you than him? isn't he always telling you, "I'll always take care of you." it makes sense.

#ask #dont look at me #tw: stepcest #corey cunningham smut #corey cunningham x reader

[emeraldkarma]

Ok so my hyper fixation on aphmau has sparked u again, I've decided to share my little Au with the world because my friends are getting tired of hearing about a minecraft roleplay from... oh god it's been that long? Jeez.

Anyway here is what I'm changing about the base cannon of mystreet before I throw in any crazy AUs like Ein being a decent person and living with Aph and Sylvanna during S2 of PDH or mystreet Dante getting stuck in MCD when everyone ditched him.

So I don't know I can fit my whole four years worth of brain rot in one post so we are going to start with the big blaring walking red flag himself Aaron.

What needs to change?

So so muck For starters, apparently, Aphmau needed to listen to sylvannas internet safety lectures a bit more because SHE STILL GIVES A STRANGER HER ACTUAL PHONE NUMBER!!! Sorry sorry this is a post about Aaron not how nieve aphmau is.

Anyway the guys 18 and is dating aphmau who is probably 14/15. This guy is going off to college in a year and aphmau still talks her stuffed cat and hides in a closet before her first day of high school.

Also at first I defended Aaron becouse I thought he just didn't know how old she was when they were strangers texting each other but they have a whole conversation about how nervous she is ABOUT HER FIRST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL! Sorry again 😔 but if I was Aaron and I found out that the person I was talking to was actually a young girl who was probably fourteen or fifteen (younger actually since they've known each other and have been texting for atleast a couple months) and knowing that I am seventeen or eighteen would break it off and probably unfriend them not keep texting them about it and then start to ask them to reveal there real name.

Then there's the whole like ultima thing I know it wasn't actually written in until like season 4 of mystreet but I have a question 🤔 if darek knew what kind of life was in store for his son having the curse if he feels so bad about having to isolate his son if he knew the curse is a possibility why have him? Why risk have biological children? Or why not stop after milisasa since for some reason the curse only effects the males of a blood line. (You're telling Me the lycan family has never had an all female generation? Is the curse just dormant in females?) I'm changing that we need to change dark put him on the list right above Sylvanna but under KC.

There's also like why are you the alpha of the werewolf pack? Like I get it in highschool but after in season five? You don't know anything about the culture and Daniel ran the highschool pack for four years you don't have to be the alpha now? I genuinely think that was from Jason wanting his self insert to be the ' powerful hot alpha oc trademark do not steal'

So how an I gonna fix this?

Well we are going to start with Aaron's age, He's aphmaus age or well hes sixteen but so were Garothand Laurence. Plane and simple hes sixteen hes a softmore who was homeschooled is life becouse of his secret ultima curse. He does switch schools temporarily for S2 of PHD becouse dark was worried about how frequently Aaron was loosing control and how he still hadn't had a grasp on the curse, I'm gonna get to that hold tight.

That leads me into my next fix how Aph and Aaron met! They were put in the same online schooling class because Rachel is a bissness major, and Sylvanna is the type of mom to make you cry when she helps you study for your spelling bee (she loves her daughter but she does not have enogh patients to be a teacher.) Anyway they meet in the online class and find out they're both into the same things including a popular Online game and being lonely homeschooled kids latch onto each other, (I would imagine that Aaron went under a different name for the homeschooling program since he can't have the media tracking him down or asking questions y'know?) Then once they get to the age were they have phones reluctantly trade Instagram (aph made a separamount. Just for talking to Aaron and not posting pics because her mom follows her mian and Aaron makes his very first acount and only follows aph who goes by Shu on that account.)

Now to fix the lycann family.

Let's start with the curse, like I said makes no sense as to why Dark still had kids with Rachel biological when he Knew what his kids would go through. So the ultima curse effects all offspring male or female and it isn't usually as strong as Aaron's. In my head not being able to control there eyes was grown out of around five years old to seven years old and then there eyes stop turning red without wanting them to they still pose the danger it's just not that hard to control. It's like potty training they learn as they grow up. But for whatever reason Aaron never really grew out of the uncontrollable eyes thing, infact they were almost always red when he was young. This scared Darek who grew up on these stories about what will happen to them if the curse is ever discovered in they're family blood line, (which is why they still hide that they're werewolves.)

Aaron lived his life in solitude while millisa got to go out and experience the world she got to go the boarding schools in Germany and go with mom and dad on they're business trips while he stayed in they're house in falcon claw with either one of his parents or trusted staff. (This is not how millisa sees it BTW but we'll talk about her later.

I hope you enjoyed my brain dump.

#aphmau #fanfic #mystreet #mystreet rewrite #aaron lycan

[ode2rin]

us again 🙁🙁🙁🙁 it was actually so good i’m so glad you decided to pick it up again THANK YOU FOR SHARING TJAT WITH US DONT EVER LEAVE PLSKDJFB

Anyway i will send a long ask about quotes i liked because i need to express my awe and support and compliment U because omg. what.

After all, everything here in this town is about you and him. 

i like how you decided to set it in a town instead of just saying smth like city or whatever, because i find it more like … romantic? and YES the way we rot in his memories he’s never getting rid of us we are his childhood and literally 19 years of his life t-t THE OTHER HALF OF HIS HEART (like u said).

And deep down, he didn’t want to believe it either – until that day you decided not to show up when you promised you would.

OUCH. the paragraphs before this one too i love the way you portrayed his coping to himself and how much of an effect we had on him 😭😭 at first i was like wrf i can’t believe we ghosted him like that but after reading the letter i would definitely do the exact same thing i’m ngl 😭😭

A thousand emotions danced in his eyes, each one a testament to the love that once blossomed between you.

i love it when they can’t ever forget about us. the use of the word blossom makes it seem like such a temporary thing and it just screams highschool romance because flowers don’t blossom often (like what… once a year or smth???) and that’s like saying our love blossomed and was peak in the past and idk what i’m saying but i hope yk what i’m saying and i hope i’m not misinterpreting ur work LOL but i just had to sauce this one in here too

In this universe, you're just some two ghosts standing in the place of you and him, haunted by the memories of what once was while trying to remember what it feels to have a heartbeat.

the alternate universe comparison I EAT IT UP ALWAYS BUT IVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE USE GHOST BEFORE TO DESCRIBE IT AND IM JUST LIKE WHAT YOURE SO SMART !!! HAUNTED BY MEMORIES TOO?? MIMI IS SO BIG BRAIN

while you share a kiss as greedy and fiery as the sea’s yearning for the moon.

the sea’s yearning for the moon that’s all.

I would’ve traded all my tomorrows for just one yesterday with you.

now this is genius. traded the tomorrows aka trading your entire future and dream and careers just for one moment in your fleeting highschool teenage romance with sae that was left in the past ……. 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

so yeah. i love your writing lots and i’m glad we’re moots<3 thank you mimi!!!!! and thanks for listening to my little rant tehe

yumi. YUMI. i would really really really love to hug you right now like this INSTANT (ಥ﹏ಥ)

the fact that you even took the time to go over the whole fic (ik it's a lot bit ._.) is enough to make me go ➡️ o(〒﹏〒)o btw i can't even start to articulate better word to tell you how thankful i am. YOU CAN HAVE A HUNDRED MANGOES FROM ME PLEASE 🥭

let me go over your fave quotes (that made my heart go swell btw wdym i have quotes now) AAAAAAA

➼ the small town !! let me telle you something, i actually love small town romance like a not so normal amount, it's prolly included in my top 5 tropes pls. i just love it when the other leaves and the other stays and by fate, they just meet again to rekindle what was once their shared memories. childhood friends to lovers is nice but if it's small town? NOM NOM I LOVE IT i've always wanted to try writing it and who's a better choice to try than our mr. i went to spain right here (even if it's not fullblown focus on that trope..)

➼ THE LETTER AHSJKAJSHAJ ngl, i would also do the same thing .. i just think sae is the kind to hold grudges lmao he definitely held MASSIVE hatred for not showing up

➼ i like using the word blossom in describing past love sometimes because (1) i love flowers, (2) it's a one time thing aka seasonal and it fits characs that yknow will fall in love once or twice in their whole life and that's it, (3) and lastly, it's temporary and it passes like time.. I LOVE YOU YUMI YOU REALLY GET ME I'M GIVING YOU SMOOCHES RN

➼ two ghost is actually a song !! i love that song so much (rumor has it that it's about taylor swift since she's harry's ex 👀) i've been listening to it and got inspired by the lyrics <3

➼ there's this children bed time story my friend told me abt that the reason why there are high tides is bec of a prince imprisoned in the sea and the moon was actually a goddess that he got punished for loving? and everytime the tide is high it means he's trying to reach for the goddess I CAN'T REMEMBER BUT THAT WAS THE STORY BEHIND IT and i decided to use it bec damn that story is the definition of yearning come on..

➼ now that line.. i was making pancakes when i thought of that oh my god and i reached out to the nearest paper i could find bec what if it leaves my mind 😭 ngl i love love love that :(

it's ME who should be glad 🫂 i'm glad i wrote make you mine bec it led u to MEEEEEEEE (iirc we became moots bec of it :>)

#yumi (affectionately) #yumi (lovingly) #yumi (saying your name with hearts in my eyes) #letters to mimi ✿ #letters from: yumi 🤞 #mimi keeps! 💟

[causticacoustic]

Are you a procrastinator? 👀

do you have any tips on how to get on the grind and actually do things?

how do you get along with people 🤯😀❓

you mentioned that there was a time where BEAST was mentally bad for you, how did you control it or get past it?

What's your biggest turn off?

What do you do when a friend or someone wrongs you?

no pressure ask btw!

only answer what u feel like answering and if u feel like it xD ♥️

I am actually procrastinating right now-

hello wakanai!! funny seeing you here on my main blog! i love your no pressure asks, but for future reference, this blog is preeeettty inactive, and i really need to revamp it into a directory for all the sideblogs i use. in the future, i'd prefer you send asks to @cousticks or @justified-or-just-obscene since those are the ones i post the most on!! there's more content on those ones anyway so it'd be more fun! i have a lot of blogs, i know. that's only three of like, six. tysm for following me on other blogs though its fun to have the little mutuals tag next to a name

anyway, asks!! a read more since, as usual, i rambled quite a bit <3

I am a huge procrastinator. its a problem. its gotten me into trouble before. but, lets talk about procrastination a bit, especially since there's usually a lot of guilt around it. sure, procrastination can just be procrastination, but not always! sometimes there's other things going on, be it having a hard time getting out of a fixation mindset, stress and anxiety freezing your brain to the point you can't work, a lack of understanding on a certain step making you not want to work on it, or just... being something that sucks for you being really difficult to work on or do. or just something that takes a lot of mental energy you don't actually have because you used it all just functioning as a person in your day-to-day life. all of these have happened to me, and i wrote them off as "procrastination" and got frustrated with myself, ultimately making the problem worse until panic took over and i got something done. sometimes if you're having trouble starting a project you need to take inventory of yourself and figure out where that road block is happening, and try to take care of yourself before you can take care of your assignments.

i guess tips to "actually do things" kind of follows from my procrastinator bit above, haha. as i said, sometimes you really need to take stock of yourself and allow yourself some grace. or find a kind of music that really pumps you up, or find a way to reward yourself. unfortunately the 'reward' bit requires the mental discipline to... not just skip straight to the reward instead of doing your tasks. it doesn't always work, but for at least smaller chore-like tasks, such as taking out the trash or doing dishes, i kind of mentally go "alright. we really need to do this thing. ready? three... two... one... up." and then just. get up. i experience a lot of what i consider "mental inertia." you know, objects at motion tend to stay in motion, objects at rest tend to stay at rest. the hardest part of starting anything is actually starting it. the hardest part of doing my chores is actually getting up to do them, but once i'm at it, i can usually accomplish more than i originally planned, because i'm already in motion so... might as well. as far as assignments, that's harder, especially when its things you have to sit down and do. don't underestimate the power of a small mental reset. get up, take a small walk around the room, go get a drink of water, use the restroom, take a deep breath, find one (1) song that pumps you up and stand in the middle of the room with your eyes closed and just listen to it for a second. don't do anything else. deep breath and breathe and listen to something you enjoy. you might be surprised at how much better you feel after doing a quick reset. or, if getting up and walking around isn't an option for you, open a new page or a new word document or google doc whatever it is. start doodling or writing or typing stream-of-consciousness style. whatever comes into your head. just things like "alright. lets get some words going. lets do this assignment. lets go. words. we can do this. i know how to do this assignment, even if i'm not doing it yet." blah blah blah. just get yourself moving and writing some words, even if they're nonsense. its okay. that will help get over the inertia hurdle and slowly focus your mind back onto your task. i can't promise any of this helps, but its some tricks that worked in the past!! remember: you can't expect yourself to do anything when you're too stressed or exhausted to focus. let yourself rest to do your best.

its funny you think i know how to get along with people. if you ever figure that out, let me know lmao. but on a more serious note, getting along with people is generally having an open mind. and, oddly enough, expanding your interests or base knowledge on a lot of things so its easier to find common ground with someone. an odd example, but i used to work at a hotel and liked to chat with the guests. tangentially, this is when some of my car bro friends were really getting me into cars. eventually i knew enough to at least have a conversation on the topic, even if it wasn't super in-depth. funnily enough, having base knowledge on cars was able to help me carry conversations with old white guys that checked into the hotel, lmao. point being, the more you know and the more you're open to learning, the easier it is to find common ground with people, be it information or experiences. and the more people you meet and have conversations with, the easier it is. if there's one thing working retail since i was a teenager has taught me, its that eventually you'll develop scripts for things. even normal small-talk conversations, you'll have built-in responses. knowing about clothes, i can comment something nice about someone's outfit, then follow the conversation with more specific information like "oh yeah, i saw a pattern kind of like that at x store, i thought about buying it in a different color for a while! glad to see you living my sweater dreams, haha." that's a kind of quirky example, but i hope you get the gist. just... remember that people exist, and have experiences. my default first question with new people is always about their favorite music or artists, because that's something i know a lot about. you can learn a lot about people from their favorite tunes.

i won't get too in detail about it, but the Beast novel was really bad for me for a while because i have those cool and fun mental problems that give me unhealthy attachments to fiction, especially when i'm in a bad place mentally. i eventually realized i was engaging with fiction in an unhealthy way, and i just... cut myself off. i had to do my best to avoid beast content, eventually to the point i had to avoid anything bsd at all for almost a year, just because i was engaging with fiction in a way that was actually really bad for me. i had to make new social media accounts so i had clean algorithms that didn't show me content, i had to stop listening to music i associated with characters, it was a full hard stop on everything. it took a lot of self-awareness that i wasn't used to having. this was because of some life circumstances, though. i had to remove myself from the real-life circumstances that were putting me in a bad spot before i could really trust myself to engage with any of my fixations again without messing myself up. Beast happened to be the worst for me because its also such an unhappy media to begin with, and i project heavily onto Chuuya, who... y'know, doesn't exactly get a great ending. I'm doing fine now, but there was a time a lot of factors came together to mess me up and i had to remove all of it before i could be alright enough to engage with the things i enjoy.

Honestly, I'm not sure what puts me off people the most. If the vibes someone has are rancid, I avoid them. Generally, blaming others for things they aren't responsible for is a big problem for me. Sure, call people out for things they've actually done, but calling people liars or whatever for shit they haven't actually done or are out of their control but you're just assuming is their fault? That's a goddamn problem. Or people who just kind of... assume the world is out to get them all the time, I guess. Who assume the worst of people at first glance. Everyone is out here just living their lives. Don't take other people's problems personally. Its not about you.

Unfortunately for myself, I usually ignore it or brush it off when someone I consider a friend does something wrong towards me. I don't recommend it. At least, until it builds up bad enough I start to hate them and then I just ghost people. Again, not exactly a good plan nor is it healthy. What you should do is communicate boundaries and cut off anyone who jumps all over those boundaries like its a trampoline park. That's the healthy way to go about it. I'm not exactly the healthiest person, though. Don't take me as an example on how to handle people doing you wrong.

#asks tag

[gynandromorph]

Any tips on how to put thoughts into words when you have schizophrenia? I find a lot of your insight really just hits the nail on the head with this fucking disorder. For me it's like a translation game, but I've never really processed either language.

turning any thoughts into words is usually a huge mental task for me -- people are like but why did it take you 10 months to answer my DM or what's so hard about transcribing pages for fresh meat why isn't it done why can't you do it gray and it's because i'm tired and the process of having to put what's in my head into words gets more and more burdensome. you see this huge wall of text right here? that's literally because i eased up on some standards i might usually have for interacting with people. let me try again.

a while ago, i made a post that said to express a thought is to fundamentally change nature of the thought, and i was being trite, but i was also being quite literal. there are two specific, identifiable areas of your brain that Make Words Happen. the rest of your brain, which is the majority of it, is what experiences the thought. even though they are directly communicating, the parts of your brain that create thoughts and the parts of your brain that create words are not the same parts. it is literally a translation process.

what you feel and what i feel differ; therefore, what we'll do to communicate those feelings will differ. for me, i communicate my thoughts and ideas how anyone can -- through the principles of writing. why reinvent the wheel when billions of other people have already blazed a trail for communication? there is a reality in front of me that i need to translate, and there is a reality in my head to which these skills are also applicable. with concision comes clarity. the clarity of concision comes from understanding the clarity of your purpose in translating the thoughts. not every thought exists for a purpose, but words only come into existence with a purpose. there are so many thoughts in my head. they all want to be expressed at once, but if everyone talks at once, no-one's voice is heard. understanding my purpose in the tiresome task of Making Words allows me to create a microphone for one facet to talk at a time. critical in this skill was cultivating an understanding that i don't need to express the full thought because no one will ever understand the entirety of my experience -- including me. even i will only experience portions at a time dictated by the conscious parts of my attention. i can only assume that you feel you haven't fully processed either the thought or the language used to express it due to these two facts, because those are primarily why i feel them. in my experience, psychosis and even a mind carrying the burden of dormant psychosis tend to see many things as important - meaningful, maybe to a fault. as the mind attempts to create narrative with the importance, the meaning rendered can frequently be inaccurate or impertinent to reality. a glance from a stranger; too many spam calls in one day; observing a show about murder on tv; noticing the standard poison control message on your toothpaste; hearing a creak you didn't listen for before in your apartment -- all of these can seem important, and add up to something like… there is someone following me and they're going to kill me, i just know it. not all of these perceived webs of importance manifest as psychosis, yet i've noticed that they happen anyway, and they are often not comprehensible to other people when i attempt to explain them. ironically, i've assumed these two observations are related. interestingly, people tend to categorize and comprehend importance subconsciously, and they tend to do so based on repeated motifs. my motifs may be a little different -- then my brain fabricates less average meanings. if they are too off-base, the motifs don't line up at all with other people, and they can't use the similarities to understand what i'm saying. i bring this up because i believe that cultivating an awareness of importance, as a sensation in your head, can be useful for navigating the dense noise of thought. it makes purpose more obvious.

my only other tip is try visuals or sound instead sometimes. many things i notice aren't words at all; visual rhymes are very common points of importance in my head. we experience the world through a multitude of senses, and none of those senses are language. :)

[justfor2am]

it is midnight i have been on n off asleep since like 7 .anyways perspective flip, bts, for want of a nail, + a thousand words of the unusual fic asks? for whatever fics u want as usual 🫡

doing these ones out of order because brain said so, anyways— BTS: I’ll write a DVD commentary about my personal favorite passage from: [7th Sense] (Chapter 9: he's picking a lock he doesn't go into)

The final scene of that chapter, with grian and mumbo, is probably my favorite part of this fic so far, mostly because i'm getting to explore a different side of depression than I often see written in fics.

usually, you get the sadness, the shaking, the no talking/no eating, the limp, wilted flower who needs to be saved. and yes, depression is that sometimes, but it can be, and often is, so much messier than that.

it's anger. it's misplaced frustrations because the truth is too scary to confront, it's knowing you need to shower/brush your teeth/get dressed and being unable to do it anyways. it's not doing those things on purpose because you think you don't deserve them. it's quiet lethargy, it's restless nights that turn into a room ripped apart because you just can't fucking sleep so you're making it someone else's problem.

it's the lashing out at someone who means the world to you, because maybe this time they're take the hint and leave forever. it's knowing deep down that you're too scared to ask for help, and that you didn't mean to help them.

grian isn't magically better by the end of the chapter. his room's still a mess, he still hasn't eaten or gotten cleaned up, and he half asses his way through an apology to mumbo.

but he asks mumbo to open the window. and they both know the deeper meaning in that gesture, knowing that it was that very window that scar escaped into the night. that it's been firmly shut since then. it's progress, like it or not. _________ For Want of a Nail: If Scar had died giving Grian his life force in: [though i've closed my eyes, i know who you pretend i am] the ending, i'm sure you can imagine, is much more depressing. Eleri, the elven queen, would be without an heir to her bloodline, and the grief of losing her only son, the last blood family she had, would cause her magic to lash out, and cast the kingdom into a century of darkness. somewhere in that time, the heartbreak would kill her.

in the mad scramble to find someone to take over, gem would accept the offered kingdom, but feel immense regret over the situation, partially blaming herself for scar's death. if she had kept quiet and agreed to marry him in the first place, would he still be alive?

mumbo, now without a ward, would pledge himself to grian's aid, who very much does not want mumbo's help. grian is the most guilt-stricken of them all, half of scar's life force now pounding in his chest, keeping grian alive. that coupled with newfound avian instincts, and no mate to help ease him through the new magic in his blood, grian would be an complete mess, unwillingly relying on mumbo to keep his instincts at bay. it would be a few decades until, eventually, grian would isolate himself in the nearby mountain range, somewhere far too cold for a vampire like mumbo to follow.

grian would live out the rest of his days more animal than man, a self-inflicted penance for costing his lover his life.

good thing that didn't happen, right? _________ A Thousand Words: I’ll create a photoset/gifset that, IMO, sums up the main themes/concepts I intended for [the blood i'm owed is all yours] (trying to motivate myself to update the damn thing lmao)

compromise, i'm doing a playlist instead because this post is long enough as is. no particular listening order, put this bitch on shuffle king

_________ Perspective Flip: I’ll write a scene from [Why Do I (Even Try?)] from another character’s point-of-view (Chapter 18: just count to ten, and try to breathe)

(italics are original text, i wrote this stream-of-conscious style literally this moment so sorry if it's not super cohesive)

Grian hid behind his wine glass, the ruby drink only brightening his blush. "Rule two, no letting the public find out. I've got a lick of sense about me, and I know that we would be immediately framed as me being the pity points, some kinda mangy boyfriend, and I'd like to pass on that part of the publicity train, thank you very much."

"I think you would make an incredibly handsome boyfriend, but continue."

It was too easy to rile Grian up, Scar genuinely wondered if it was worth taunting him this early into their evening. It was cute, watching him try to gloss over Scar's attacks, deflecting with his own pointed silence. The game was fun, but half the joy was in the end result.

"Most importantly, rule number three." Grian set down his glass, purely for dramatic effect. "No falling in love with one another."

This one caught Scar off guard. He hoped Grian couldn't tell in his face, quickly clearing his throat to fix his soured expression. Right. Of course. This was transactional at best: Scar would receive Grian's company in the form of sex, meaningless hook ups between co-workers. At least, that's how Grian was presenting the idea.

Scar didn't want that. He wasn't after only the physical, as much of a nice bonus as it could be. He wanted to know Grian, really know him, reach the parts that the man kept hidden from the world and fall into his mind; Scar wanted all of Grian, not just the surface level.

Even so, he knew that for Grian, sex was so much more than surface level. It was a serious gesture of trust, and not one Scar was willing to betray. But that didn't mean Scar would give up his love so easy, and let himself be heartbroken in favor of physical intimacy.

Some way, some how, Scar would make a space for himself in Grian's heart. He owed it to himself to try, at the very least.

Scar grinned, and lifted his wine glass in toast. "Challenge accepted."

#justfor2am #justfor2talks #long post #it's like 15 minutes til 1 am why am i writing now LMAO

[koolkat9]

👀

(Also, wanted to take the chance to say that I love ur GerEng AUs and fics. When I first got into Hetalia (a bit over 2 years ago) and started to know England and Germany, my brain totally went “oh yeah they make one great ship” only to be disappointed at how little is out there of these two. Like how come ppl not see how great they are together - there’s just so much goddamn potential! And now over 14 years later since the anime, it seems the fandom as a whole still didn’t catch up on this. Alas, I found u and I’m infinitely glad for tht. Thanks for being here and not making me feel like the only one cursed with liking a rare ship.)

Sorry this took forever. These things took way longer than I thought.

Oh my gosh! This is so sweet thank you🥰.

There really isn't a lot of content for them and that's a shame... Though I think it's gained a bit more popularity thanks to the adlib the creator of Dreamtalia did in her play through of it which created a whole GerEng subplot (that's how I got into the ship) and then creators like Teethhoarder (who runs the blog asking-gereng and has made many great fanart and fics of them) and myself who has made so many little fics and headcanons for them specifically. But still, it is underrated compared to other ships.

That's actually part of the reason I started making content for them. There was so little of it. And now I've been going 3 years strong writing fics.

And don't worry there is actually a handful of us who ship it. Teeth like I've mentioned and there is a whole GerEng discord server (ran by yours truly). But listen to me ramble. You want an au.

---

Here's probably one of my favourite aus. GerEng Roadtrip AU.

We've got character arcs, slow burn, finding yourself. It's so good, I love it. The GerEng server was great for sharing ideas and we built on it together.

Anyway, Ludwig is going to university for engineering, but after his first year and after doing very poorly on an exam, he's devastated because perfectionism, but also something else bubbling underneath that he's yet to realize/acknowledge.

With the school year ending, Ludwig decides to go stay with his brother for the summer. After all, despite owning it for a couple years now, Ludwig never got to visit the record shop his brother opened and Ludwig needs to get away for a little bit so why not spend the summer in a small quaint town near a river?

Arthur is on of Gil's employees. He and Ludwig don't exactly get off on the right foot. Arthur's grouchy, prickly, a smoker. But Arthur catches Ludwig sifting through some rock albums and the two start to bond over their shared music taste, only to find out they actually have a lot in common and enjoy spending time together.

A little over a month before Ludwig is set to return to school, Arthur proposes they go on a road trip together. One last hurrah before they go their separate ways. Ludwig, feeling more and more anxious as the date of school approaches, agrees for the distraction.

They travel all over, to all kinds of little towns, seeing all kinds of sights. And in the process, learn that they're both kind of broken and lost but find comfort in each other.

Like one time they stay at a campground and have a campfire. Arthur brought his guitar so he strums a bit as they sit. Ludwig asks if Arthur can sing. And Arthur makes a weird face, but gives in and they end up singing together.

One time they stay at a hotel but because it's summer and there is a big event going on, almost all the hotels are booked up, so they have to stay in a room where there is only one bedTM.

They stop in the middle of no where to watch the sunset. And they may or may not share their first kiss in this moment.

They go to some big mall and they end up having to help a lost kid together. Ludwig falls harder seeing how Arthur is with kids.

But it's not all fun and games. Over the course of their trip Ludwig learns Arthur used to be in a rock band. They were just about to hit it big, in talks with fairly big record company only for Arthur to get a case of vocal nodes that changed his voice forever. It changed his sound, his range, and though he still sounds decent he hates how he sounds now. And even if he was find with the sound of his voice, he didn't have the vocal fortitude to be a professional singer. Just when his dream was about to come true it was all snatched away.

Gilbert, a fan of Arthur's band who had become a dear friend offered Arthur a job at the record store to try to help him back on his feet.

Singing with Ludwig during their travels was the first time Arthur sang after the damage. Ludwig thinks he sounds beautiful.

Arthur mentions in passing once that he used to be a singer in a band. So when Ludwig hears Arthur sing, he asks why he doesn't anymore. This leads to an argument as some of Arthur's old wounds open up, making him more defensive and Ludwig doesn't know the full story so he doesn't get why Arthur is suddenly angry.

But eventually Arthur opens up, reminiscing about going on little tours with his band to nearby towns. Ludwig of course listens intently to all the stories Arthur starts to share about his band. Arthur ends up getting a little emotional by the end and Ludwig just hugs him. They stay like that longer than they probably should but Arthur can't deny it makes him feel warm and fuzzy.

Ludwig has his own struggles. He is dealing with his first major failure and with a bad case of anxiety and perfectionism it isn't easy. But there is even more to it. Ludwig has long had the doubt that engineering and university in general is the right path. He knows he's smart enough to be there (even though his anxiety sometimes tries to tell him differently), but his just isn't passionate about what he's studying and if he was to change paths he doesn't know to what. Some of his shitty feelings from failing the exam are connected to this doubt though he's not fully aware of it yet.

Anyway. The car breaks down some time during their trip and Ludwig fixes it. Arthur notices how focused and in the zone Ludwig is working on the car. It reminds Arthur of how he would get playing music. He knows Ludwig is going to university and is struggling a bit, but there is much of story he's still missing. He doesn't even know what Ludwig is studying. So he finally asks about it. Since at this point Arthur has opened up to Ludwig, Ludwig figures it's only fair to open up to Arthur and perhaps finally confiding in someone will might make him feel better.

Ludwig finally admits he's not happy in his program, but he doesn't know what else to do and he doesn't want to disappoint anyone who had high expectations of them (everyone around him just assumed he'd go to university because he was so academically gifted).

"Fuck them all," Arthur replies, "Do what you want first. That's what I always did."

"It's not that easy for me," Ludwig fires back, "Plus...I don't even know what I want."

"I wonder why..."

"What?"

"Nothing. Look Ludwig. I couldn't pursue my dream job, now look at me. Wasting away in that old record shop. I don't want that with you. You have a chance to do something you love, take it. Pursue it until you can't."

"Arthur I-I don't..."

"If you won't do it for yourself, do it for me. If you need an idea, I think you'd make a really good mechanic

Ludwig thinks about it. Reflects a bit and takes Arthur's words to heart and decides perhaps a mechanic apprenticeship would be his best path. He always liked tinkering with cars and machinery and being hands on with it. Wouldn't hurt to at least look into the idea.

Ludwig, thankful for Arthur helping him onto the right path, wants to help Arthur find a new passion or a way he can embrace music in a different way. Ludwig recalls how Arthur taught him a few cords on guitar and how good of a teacher Arthur is. So maybe Arthur could give lessons or even go to school to be a music teacher. Arthur shoots him down, but Ludwig catches Arthur researching what it takes to be a music teacher.

Anyway. The road trip comes to an end and Ludwig has to make his choice. Return to university, to a program he dislikes, or take a chance and stay and get an apprenticeship in town. So just as Gilbert is about to take him back to the city Ludwig comes clean. How he doesn't like his program, that he wants to try an apprenticeship as a mechanic. Ludwig is terrified of Gilbert's reaction, that he'll be disappointed, but Arthur's words echo in his head, keeping him grounded.

Instead, Gilbert is happy for him. "You always did love working on cars," he notes, "Remember our old neighbour who let you tinker on an old, broken down car they had? If only we could have gotten a new engine, perhaps it could have been saved from being scrapped.

Ludwig is shocked, having almost forgotten that summer.

"I bet someone would love to hear that news," Gilbert says with a smirk.

Ludwig runs back to the record shop, but Arthur is missing from his post. Lud hears a faint noise coming from the back room and finds Arthur, next to the old record player, singing along to the song they sung together around the fire. He sits and listens, only revealing he's there when Arthur finishes and Ludwig applauds.

Ludwig tells him how he's going to stay in town and try to get an apprenticeship with a mechanic Gil knows. Arthur is elated, jumping to his feet and kissing Ludwig hard. Their first kiss since that one time on the road during the sunset that they had thought they'd never talk about again.

"But on one condition," Ludwig says, pulling away breathlessly, "You look into school for next year and become a music teacher."

"Ludwig..."

"If you can't do it for yourself, then do it for me," Ludwig smirks.

Arthur can't help but laugh and kiss him again. "Okay. For you then."

And in the end, Arthur does become a music teacher and Ludwig gets to take over the shop he did his mechanic apprenticeship at. They also date and eventually get married 🥰

#hetalia #hws england #hws germany #hws prussia #gereng #engger #geruk #au ask game #au asks #gereng road trip au

[transbipolarbaddie]

im feeling so paranoid right now. my roommate just left the apt and a few minutes later the door buzzed and i thought maybe my roomie forgot something so i went to the buzzer and asked “who is it” because i wanted to be able to let them in if they needed. “delivery” he said, i buzzed him in but i was quickly anxious about how easy it would have been for that man to have lied and held ulterior motives. especially considering the amount of times i've forgotten my keys and and buzzed every apartment in the building until someone let me in, my excuse being “Amazon” as to not provoke suspicion and as not to have to speak more words than i can because amazon delivers to my apartment building multiple times a day, it's just easier. but now i’m thinking, ‘anyone could just say “delivery”’

i’m paranoid because:

1. the present moment seems odd and im suspicious of my surroundings

2. im worried someone is stalking me and wants to break in and rape me because:

a. i am transgender

b. my computer realistically could have been hacked quite easily, my techy roommate told me there were warning signs but i shut them down and didn’t listen

c. i frequently leave my curtains open and there is a likely easily accessible balcony adjacent on my room with huge windowed glass door

d. liberally use grindr and seeking arrangements without much anticipation of potential safety issues and there are creeps who message me relentlessly

3. it feels like a halo was shoved into my skull or that a weighted rubber band is strapped around my forehead, squeezing the thoughts out of the top of my brain like a bottle of ketchup

4. i can’t stop the constant intrusive thoughts of myself being harmed by someone who would want to break in

probably more things but, after experiencing these thoughts i knew i needed to calm down. so i grab my juul and creep to the shower still stimulated and on guard, in fight or flight. i make my way to the shower which is usually a cure-all but in this case just made be afraid to be as idiotic as the first murder victim in that one alfred hitchcock move u know with the shower? and the bates motel wow i know this but it's impossible to recall the title of this movie in my current headspace. it's making my brain glitch so i have to move on. so i lay down in the shower subtly waterboarding myself because it's relaxing (that's dramatic really i just lay under the spray bouncing up from when the water hits the bottom of the tub with my mouth open because the feeling is calming for some reason). anyways that didn't work.

my thoughts still racing, i rush to my bedroom, close my blinds, check outside the door one last time, and take 2 seroquels and get in bed and then write this. even now as im coming down i have the thought “but what if he’s waiting until i fall asleep”

i've decided to sleep with my taser in my hand. i cant find my taser so i grab the first knife i see because i need to check outside the door and the peephole is noisy for some reason and the door is paper thin so i have to be prepared if someone is hiding right outside because ive seen way too many horror movies im not gonna be a fucking idiot. all clear. i look down and in my hands is a serrated knife. “lmao,” i think as if it would’ve been very helpful if i had needed to stab someone, but i knew the rage within me would’ve been enough to get the job done.

whenever people ask me what i do in my free time, i feel like i should send them this.

#writing #narrative #bipolar #trans #paranoia #manic #intrusive thoughts #tw paranoia #tw sa mention #tw harm

[udonthreens]

top 5 disco elysium moments i have never played the game but ithink you should explain it like i know everything already anyways

anon uve triggered my autism beam

these r vaguely ranked but also i. i dont promise coherency and if i thought abt it with more brain theyd be different.

5) ok this is the last one im writing and idk. theres so many good scenes and moments and nevermind. the chair. the fucking CHAIR and evrart. it took me 200hrs to see what happens when u PASS the composure check like. tbh failing this check is basically canon. slide down it like a jello shot. again like the megarich container guy this is one of those possible early moments of 'ou this games a fucking weird comedy' and i just. best way to assert dominance with the corrupt commie boss like 'what a great display of... idek what that was' and im pretty sure u lose a rep point with kim if u fail it too like. kim dont be mad this is just my interogattion technique im not giving the rcm a bad rep i promise kim

actually some honourable mentions: lamby, boardgames with kim, joyce pale convo, kim voice dilligent boy, THE CHURCH I DIDNT MENTION THE CHURCH i love doin the dance after gettin shot its so funny. love the rave kids. shivers voice theres a hole in my heart. the fucking 'lookin to score some d girl!' bit with kim & acele thats comedy gold actually. thats brilliant. i might just start listening everything. pinball with kim when u pass it im just like. kim why dyou sound so smitten . the piss and fuck jackets. actually i really like the whole bit with the working class woman that was Devasting. even more so when i realised u could actually tell her ud look for her husband ...... i liked the jamais vu viscal pleasure wheel bit after (i think that was added with the update? yes it was) altho i dont remember specifics just. his brain reconstructin smth as idk.. smth to make him feel better? felt bittersweet. i should go see that scene again.

ok ill fuckin wrap this up. 'are u... a really good detective?' great line and not a moment per say but. the fact that jean just. hangs around the whirling for several days in that fuckin wig like, obvs he doesnt move spots bcs its a video game (despite the edc lines showin that he does do other shit) cuz u need to know where to find him. but he just fuckin commits like. the character building from all this shit for whats technically a minor character. brilliant. doesnt HE have a fuckin job to do. also titus is always in the whirling for the same video game reason so like. yes. yes to that rarepair.

3) communist book club and the tower building that was soooooo cool not to mention the fuckin hilarity of readin bout inframaterialism for the first time nd going "???? is this pseudoscience in the game or can it ACTUALLY fucking happen like wtf"

2) karoke. pass over fail tbh limbic system KILLS it (and its more lyrical spoken word doesnt fit the song nd also i thot id actually hear harrys voice during that scene and we kinda did but like thats a different tangent) and kims support 'detective du bois... it was down right tragic' and the edc or concept check? concept i 5hink that was like 'to him that represented being an rcm member perfectly' like HELLO??? kim bestie its not 2 late for a career change. AND not to mention gartes reaction to it like... u really get the feeling that he Will get rid of the machine if harry fucks it up. however i do like the pass as well bcs a) harrys had enough cringe fail b) jeans deadbeat litany of 'yeah its shit it sucked awful' like. thats how he talks 2 harry when hes being NICE its so funny. het life partners <33

4) mega rich light bending guy. AGAIN the weiss thingymay coefficent where ur like 'is this an actual Thing or is harry just fuckin insane' nd also i crit succeeded on my first playthru real early on when i hadnt seen any of the wacky shit yet nd it just. the -2 if u have the artcop thought the fuckin ultralib shit . u get like 4 ultralib points at LEAST if u pass/fail the right concept check. god not to mention kim earnestly suggesting rcm reforms like kim bestie kim kim my bestfriend kim its not 2 late for a career change. also if u get the 100 real and kims like 'ur full of surprises most of them bad but some of them good' soooo true <33

1) salami man.

#answered #anon

[the-travelling-witch]

HELLO BAAAABYYYY

Ok saw the matchup thing and instantly my brain went to one answer: Childe (not because of the earrings LOL )

So so ok listen LISTENNNN u guys have the perfect balance every relationship needs

Wait no scatter brained let’s start from the top

U guys are defo enemies to lovers cuz my athletic bby (u said u used to play quite a few things right?) would want to win whatever competition u two have and obviously as we all know that’s instant heart eyes from him to u so although ur all

“Fuck I have to beat him” he’s giggling and twirling his hair and tossing sly comments here and there but eventually u give in after seeing how kind he is to his family and how he acts in private

Once ur in a relationship u tots are always bantering and poking fun at eachother and planning fun dates, he loves ur quick witty remarks <33

OK BUT TR??

Remem ages ago AGESSS ago I never got to ur matchup for my event cuz my brain collapsed??? Yeah well I had ur matchup in mind and it was koko <33 (this is practically a matchup to make up for that btw sorry Angel</33)

I think he would be so absolutely smitten w u, ur this little ball of pure sunshine T^T he loves takinf u shopping not cuz he’s materialistic he just loves how u dress and wants to see what u get so he can get similar items for his wardrobe and then y’all can match

Also ur one smart cookie (even if u say ur not 0_0🖕) and he would love studying with u for ur exams and school work whilst bringing u study snacks n water

Me thinks that he would find ur light hearted nature so refreshing, it probably mirrors the lifestyle of love that he actually wanted before getting stuck up w all that gang shit. He’s smart, your smart the teasing banter between u two never ends although he does like to throw in a lil Mischievous one here and there to see u flustered he’s a lil shit

Anyways yes <3 there bam end scene good bye heheh🤭🥰💕

DARLING!! i don’t need a match up when i already have you ଘ(੭˃ᴗ˂)੭

childe’s competitive ass and my competitive ass would be the perfect combination for enemies to lovers; he’d be so smug and such a show-off, it would make my blood boil and make me want to wipe that smirk of his face at first

i totally wouldn’t take any of his advances seriously because surely he’s just mocking me but then something happens and all of a sudden the possibility of him being genuine doesn’t seem so far-fetched anymore, the confidence with which he acts is somewhat attractive and i guess he can be quite charming if he wants to be…

relationship dynamic: we’re always having some playful banter, being sassy and sarcastic with one another, but if somebody else dares say something against childe/me, oh boy, then we’re out for blood

also lots of rough housing and play fighting, do we look like actual adults to you??

childe and koko? now you’re just spoiling me >///<

okay but “ball of literal sunshine” is making me cackle like a witch; so many people online have said that and honey, you’ve got a big storm coming because i’m as much sunshine as a rain cloud is… but i guess with the right people there’s some truth to it… <3

anyway, koko fuelling my fashion obsession? yes please!! i’d love to go shopping with him because he actually knows his stuff and he’d tell me straight away when something does or doesn’t look good on me

also ahem, helloooo? matching/coordinated outfits! matching jewellery!! we’d slay, you just know it; put together is our middle name lol

with koko next to me, i might actually have the motivation to study ㅠㅠ

despite my nickname/ contact name for him being koko chanel, i’d love to shower him in genuine affection and positive affirmations; there won’t be a second where he can doubt his own worth with me because i’ll always be there to remind him that he’s so much more than just a money making genius; he spoils me and i spoil him with all the love and care we can give ♡

also i’d be absolutely weak for his smirk and his teasing, he’d take such pride in flustering me so easily; running his thumb over my rosy cheeks as he tilts my face toward his, so i’ll look him in the eyes while he coos about just how cute i am

okay bYE

match up ask game ♛

#coffee & tea break #my regulars ♡ #letter from: the gorgeous crown ❀ #my baby spoiling me absolutely rotten #which one of them? #well all three of course!! #crown you just ㅠㅠ #casually dropping in two of my faves and expecting me to be okay #(𖦹_𖦹)

[misqnon]

HI im the anon who sent in that ask about one piece the other day and!!! AGHH. im too shy and socially anxious to send a message so sorry for communicating through asks but !!

THANK UU for responding to me !! it makes me so happy when people seem excited to talk to me, and i love hearing about peoples interests, so. i was very happy reading ur reply!!!! also this is probably an even longer message 😭 i cant help it i love to ramble

my history with one piece is long and complicated LMAO so i wont rant about it, but i started watching anime when i was 7 and one piece caught my attention when i was 10 i think, so ive had a lot of time to experience it tbh. but i was never that into it until i read the manga!! if im recommending one piece, i usually recommend the manga because its so much easier to get through imo.

honestly now that im caught up im like.. so afraid for the end of one piece. i never want it to end. i keep hearing that this is the final saga, and that one piece is ending soon, and my brain just. cannot comprehend it. i dont know if its just denial or what but i fully believe it won't end for another 5 years.. i havent experienced enough of the one piece world!!! i need more!! tell me everything about everyone in one piece PLEASE . it cant end . and those thoughts have been plaguing my mind since i restarted it LOL

looking at old forums to see peoples opinions from when each chapter dropped is genius??? i might have to do that.. i want to see their theories. i want to say "you have no idea whats in store...." or admire how smart they are for guessing things correctly

i find it funny that u like sanji cuz i have such complicated feelings around him. like he was my absolute favorite upon first introduction. i loved his kindness, i loved his interactions with gin, and i thought he was cool as hell. he was definitely a positive role model for my very damaged child brain. but i think the pervert joke and him treating women differently has pretty much ruined him for me. when i was younger a part of me felt like it was only right that he treat women better, but im pretty sure i just felt that way bc i hated the experience of being born female so much that the only way i could cope was by taking every and any advantage i could get. and then i figured out i was non binary.. and hes been turned into the most cartoonishly disgusting pervert .. and i see his potential and it just.. UGH!! you could have been so good. anyways all my feelings around him make it a lot more interesting to see u talk about him!! usually i just headcanon him as transfem and that satiates my burning rage and hatred towards him. but seeing sanji likers talk about liking sanji makes me actually like sanji more!! at this rate i might turn back into a sanji fan

im not in any one piece fan spaces but i AM consuming one piece content as often as possible (so all day. i dont have. a job. or school.). i know this is most likely a passing hyperfixation for me but im loving it anyways. i will definitely keep an eye on ur blog bc im sooo excited for when u catch up. im having so much fun theorizing about the end of the story and . and i hope u will too!! eek rant over thanks for listening (metaphorically)

HI ANON!! once again putting this under cut bc i will once again be freely speaking my way too many thoughts about the silly pirate manga. (fair warning. this. this is 2K words. anon im.....so sorry)

you don't have to worry about communicating through asks btw i literally do not care do whatever makes u comfortable my dude <3 and 1. thank YOU for sending a message :^) 2. i am loving the joyous atmosphere we have created ranting at each other back and forth HAHAHA it makes me happy to talk about interests like this as well!! (looks at length of my last reply and this one) clearly. we can think of this as like. electronic pen pals 👍bc i do be basically writing letters here LMAO

yea as u can tell its a little complicated for me too lmao ( i mean. the damn thing has been going on longer than i've been alive, so. it's touched many people in many ways. and it's complicated in its OWN right which. i'll get to. but holy shit 7 is younger than i expected! thats still a pretty long history (though i cant talk bc at age 4 i had a crush on goku even tho i had no idea what was happening half the time i was watching the dbz reruns on tv </3) and YEA. YEA THE MANGA IS. SO MUCH MORE STREAMLINED AND WELL PACED. EVEN THO I MISS THE COLOR AND MOVEMENT AND VOICE ACTING OF THE ANIME it was just takin too long. and i really like oda's art, so...reading the manga lets me look at it better. and there's more care put into the frames. but overall ur right the manga is chefs kiss in comparison to other versions (WHICH ARENT BAD!! JUST...SLOW. and though i think the live action wasnt really NEEDED i did. like it. and it is what got me back into op + got me caught up through east blue a lot faster HAHA)

tbh hearing that its in its last saga made me feel like i got into one piece at a really good time bc if i plan it right i can catch up and then follow along with the release for only a little while until its done. also the live action s2 and the "The One Piece" reanimated anime will be coming soon too. the content saturation is everywhere 👍(showering in it) THOUGH I DO FEEL A BIT PRESSURED LIKE. WHAT IF ONE PIECE FINISHES BEFORE I CATCH UP . which is insane bc im almost to wano (even though i hear wano is really long). and also...i think its been called the final "saga" but idk if that means final ARC you know...kinda like how water 7 and enies lobby kinda blend into one. or impel down and marineford are lumped together. idk i feel like we got a bit more. i just feel like there's so much we havent got answered yet and i dont think oda would just leave that stuff hanging. i know there;s a list out there of things that one piece needs to adress/come back to before it finishes but i havent looked at it bc im afraid of spoilers. however, just in my own mind theres a LOT i know has to happen that we need plenty of time for!! so. i wouldnt be surprised if it WAS 5 more years. i mean like...shanks needs to happen. i think zoro and sanji are gonna have a battle at some point (based on stuff ive seen from wano. im assuming) they gotta see laboon again. gotta revisit shirahoshi's situation. gotta see the dreams come true of each crewmate. tie off loose ends of side characters like tashigi and koby and the warlords. yanno

the "you have no idea what's in store.." is literally my exact emotions . i havent done it for this fandom YET but i plan to go to forums reading over ppl's theories like this

slash seeing how they react and getting giddy about it bc i like seeing how people react to shit. esp if they're shocked or enthusiastic about it like i usually am

about sanji. okay. listen. listen here. i. hate sanji. JNFNVFKDNL

no but actually no matter how complicated someone's feelings are towards sanji i promise you for sanji likers they are probably 100x more complicated unless they're weird dudebros who think he's cool (which he is but only like 10% of the time and not when he's being a chauvinistic ass)

one thing about me is that i. hate doing things that are distasteful or offensive in any capacity and that extends to the media i consume in that i dont like consuming media that is excessively problematic. i understand nuance so like OBVIOUSLY nothing is perfect and everything has problematic elements - but for a lot of shows there's one too many things on one side of the scale and i just dont like having that guilt on my shoulders consuming it. one piece fits that category but it's also SO BIG and SO LONG and its been going on for a WHILE and is such a phenomenon that i can let SOME stuff "slide"...and also realize "bitch one piece is so popular and near its end at this point that you, a single tumblr user, liking it or not liking it is not going to make a difference" and i'm (still) trying to make peace with that. things like oda's passive racism, The Entirety of Kamabakka Kingdom (literally don't even get me started), his blatant sexism in universe and his own opinions in the SBS...i've just come to realize i need to consume my media critically but still let myself have fun. im going through a rough period in life and this happens to be what my brain hyperfixated on and i cant change that so might as well have this outlet. ive made a lot of friends and am really enjoying the story for its good parts (found family, anti government and anti authoritarianism, importance of dreams and ambition and self love, the importance of mental health and trauma and how your past doesnt define you...etc)

i extend a lot of this thinking to sanji, too. to be fair i dont remember why he became my favorite. i think he was my fav when i watched it all those years ago but he wasnt a BIG FAV or anything. watching film red and the opla i think i went into it remembering he was my fav and he just stayed that way, but then i watched more and really started to like him for reasons like 1. im weak to flirtatious characters in general 2. im also weak to blonde men 😔 3. he's an asshole with a kind heart and i love a good juxtaposition 4. he just has some really cool badass moments tbh 5. and he's a LOT. i love characters that are a lot. he's loud and messy and overreactive and prissy and insecure and self sacrificing and also just SECRETLY ONE OF THE KINDEST MOST COMPASSIONATE MEMBERS OF THE CREW? notice how none of these have to do with his pervert shtick lmao

i do actually like his woman thing to an extent, i think its cute when its just him having heart eyes at every woman he sees and being weak to literally any woman who looks at him- cause that's still putting women on a pedestal, but its a fairly harmless character flaw for a fictional character to have. pre-timeskip sanji is a gift for all these reasons. and like, thats when everyone fell in love w his character i think. i MIGHT even forgive his whole "i wont hit a woman" thing bc its not like he doesnt think women shouldnt be hit in general to such an extent (i dont think he ever opposes to anyone else doing it on the crew, HE just doesnt like doing it PERSONALLY bc its his own moral principle he wont break just like the whole wont fight with his hands thing) even if the whole thing stems from the sexist belief women are lesser/weaker (esp after his backstory reveals some stuff)

but the pervert shtick? and the WRITING HIM AS TRANSPHOBIC/HOMOPHOBIC THING?? yea i literally hate that part of his character so much and wish it wasnt added. like i see how it relates to the character oda has decided sanji is but i still dont think it was needed. or okay. lol. i dont think any sanji fan actually likes this part of him. somedays i look at myself in the mirror and i'm like "am i fangirling over a more conventionally attractive bnha mineta rn" and i put on my clown makeup

but he's more than that. for all the reasons i listed above. and the BIGGEST thing that keeps me sane as a Sanji Liker (tm) is the fact that i 100% see half of his shitty character traits as something that are a product of Oda, the author, influencing his own work. im not gonna lie that canonly he still gave sanji those traits so yea like as a trans (? still working on that) GNC bisexual woman my favorite character atm is this weird little guy who's kinda chauvinistic and also canonly a homophobe (...at least, to an extent, bc apparently he has a really good relationship with iva? again, i could write an essay on just the queer rep as well) and thats a little embarrassing but. alas. i already fell in love with the character. and if you consider the writing is done by a dude who's got his own issues and just take the character for what he is...i do still rlly enjoy the idiot. and TRUST ME, i will headcanon him as a repressed bisexual who's probably GNC or a little trans or AT LEAST likes to do drag bc c'mon now. oda PUT ALL THAT IN CANON...AND EXPECTS US NOT TO PLAY WITH IT? you could make a compelling argument that he's 1000% straight and cis and kamabakka was a fluke that he resents but i think you could just as easily interpret it the other way. or just say fuck word of god i'm gonna enjoy this character the way i want (draws sanji in a dress for the millionth time bc i can and it makes me feel better. and once again HE WORE ONE IN CANON...AND WAS SMILING ABOUT IT, FOR A WHILE. IDK IDK CALL ME CRAZY) tldr; sanji is fucked but the worst parts are a product of oda himself and i like the character for other reasons and purposely try to consume him very critically for those reasons bc i do still really like him. like. hes my #1 fav character atm unfortunately. but he's nice in a lot of other ways 🥲

SORRY FOR THAT I TALKED WAYYY TOO MUCH!!!! but i enjoyed it so thanks for the opportunity :') im glad ur vibing with op and we're both enjoying this silly little show. tbh half the reason im trying to read it so fast (and why i read WCI early) is bc i was scared my hyperfixation wouldnt last long enough to finish the series BWAHAHA. here's to hoping we both get to see it end and enjoy the journey that comes with that!

#i cant believe i wrote 2k words . i should be embarrassed but im honestly a little impressed. #'hey mont why do you like one piece' [2k word essay defending myself against imaginary haters] #anon if you were worried you were talking too much dw i got you. i'll just talk WAYYY MORE to make u feel better 👍/hj #microphone effect #one piece #sanji #yea i'll put this in the tag #talked too much to only have one person see it #asks #replies #not to be That Person but i basically had a WGS minor in college (i was one class off) and trust me i'm analyzing the Fuck out of oda's #biased writing. #march anon