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biolizardboils · 1 year

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Behold—The Grievance of the Graphite Ghostwriter and The Woeful Watercolor Heartache of the Weeping Wet Hairbrush!

notes and a sort-of plot under the cut!

My recipe for these was (Kid + Nuclear Waste + Favorite Creative Utensil) x Personality Trait That Could Realistically Boil Over. George’s trait is his sense of justice, Harold’s is trying to downplay his sadness with jokes

They’re foils to each other in a few ways: Writing vs. Drawing, of course, but also Dry Dust vs. Wet Puddles and Only Eyes vs. Only A Mouth

Their surroundings in the second pic is intentional too. George is attacking the cool-colored Downtown Piqua, where cold-hearted businessmen exploit their workers; Harold attacks the warm-colored suburbs, tearing open nuclear households to feel the warmth inside

They get two forms because Booger Boy and Sir Stinks-A-Lot did too and also I’m indecisive lol. Think of their first form as Mega Evolution and the second as Gigantamax. Introducing Pilkeymon Graphite and Pilkeymon Acrylic

The Sort-Of Plot

First off this takes place in an unholy mashup of all three canons, because again I’m indecisive. Anyway:

One day The Boys realize their comics tend to come true and try to game the system lol. They make one about them getting Writer/Artist Powers and fixing all of Piqua’s problems with them! ...But nothing happens, and it upsets them more than they want to admit

Later they go on separate field trips to opposite ends of town (they’re in different classes like in the Movie I guess). They miss each other and sneak away to self-soothe by writing/drawing

But someone comes to bother them—a teacher scolds George harshly for wandering off, and a mean older kid picks on Harold knowing The Tie won’t stop him. They try to get away and fall into the sewers, where their frustration (and nuclear waste) catalyzes their transformation

At first they use their new powers for good: George “rewrites” the teacher to stop misusing his authority, and Harold “repaints” the mean kid into a literal class clown. But they don’t feel better, so they try harder: bad businessmen give away their riches, and the gas station from Book 9 becomes a candy store. They still don’t feel better, and soon their well-meaning “fixing” turns everyone into either single-minded zombies or forcibly smiling blobs

Melvin was in the downtown field trip and Knows About Captain like in Book 8 or whenever it was, so he finds Krupp, snaps, and sics him on George. Then he goes to the suburbs and “tells” on both Boys to their families. “Hey your sons have been leading dangerous monster-fighting double lives and now they’re monsters and you should be mad at them about it!”

Meanwhile, Captain is horrified that one of his sidekicks has fallen to evil!! He doesn’t want to hurt George and tries to talk him down while dodging his Pencil-Tie. George yells that he could never understand what he’s going through and takes on his Tornado form, blowing Captain all the way to the suburbs. There Captain sees Harold, gets horrified again, and tries the same talk on him—cue his giant Dolphin form. And since he’s spewing wet paint everywhere, Krupp wakes up in front of Melvin and the families. (What Captain didn’t get is that the Boys aren’t evil now—they’re having literal nuclear meltdowns due to past hurt and current stress)

So now there’s two giant monsters wrecking different parts of the city, Captain is down for the count, and the Boys’ families know Everything. Someone says, “Well, at least it can’t get any worse!” Cue the Boys seeing each other in the distance, not recognizing each other, and meeting in City Center for a KAIJU FIGHT (in Flip-O-Rama of course)

Melvin calculates their weaknesses and everyone splits up to gather the necessary supplies. But by the time they meet back up, the Boys have already neutralized each other (Harold bites down on George’s tie, and George sucks the water out of Harold’s hair). So instead the parents just talk to them and hope they’re listening from somewhere inside the dust clouds and dried hair. They tell them that they know what they’ve been going through now, that they get why they didn’t tell them, but that they shouldn’t have to bear so much responsibility alone. Maybe they even get Krupp to apologize for the part he's played in their constant stress (as if I haven’t derailed canon enough already lol).

The Boys emerge, human and crying, and run into their parents’ arms. Everyone helps clean up the city and cure its citizens with the supplies they’d gotten earlier. The sort-of plot ends with everyone going home, making popcorn, and watching the Kaiju Fight on the news. They might’ve caused millions in property damage but hey, at least it looked awesome

The outcome: Now the Boys don’t have to keep as many secrets, and Krupp is a bit more mindful of how he treats his students. (And maybe he knows about Captain now too, I haven’t decided yet)

#captain underpants #george beard #harold hutchins #captain underpants the first epic movie #the epic tales of captain underpants #au #cu #george #harold #graphite ghostwriter #weeping wet hairbrush #my draws #me talking

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knybits · 1 year

Text

THE HATING GAME — 4

PAIRING —

↳ kochou shinobu x reader

SUMMARY —

↳ Geniuses within the same field yet rivals within each other’s eyes, your colleagues wonder when the sexual tension will break so that you two will become the department’s powerhouse couple so that they can enter you two into the couples contest against the other departments. Some things might have to be done by force.

WARNINGS —

↳ cursing

[ Navigation ]

—

Shinobu is one more car ride away from giving you a lobotomy.

Sure, you’re dutiful to your responsibilities, but the rest of the department is slowly starting to question the relationship. She can tell by the way they blink in confusion when the two of you split up upon entering the lab. They see how quick you are to take your hand back the minute you think no one is looking.

They can also tell by the way they pull up next to your car at a red light, and there’s music blasting so loud there’s no way you two can hold a conversation. You look disinterested on the road, but Shinobu’s patience is pulled so thin that they can tell she’s pissed even though she smiles in the passenger seat.

When her friends ask her if everything’s okay, Shinobu would laugh lightly and wave them off, claiming that everything is just peachy (though her fist is clenched by her side and is a perfect imitation of the Arthur meme.)

The first date over the weekend was fine.

But that’s it.

Just fine.

Pick up at 5, have dinner at 6, watch a movie at 8, drop off at 10.

No words were exchanged and the only time you two spoke was when you came face to face with someone from college. Painted smiles and palms burning because holding hands with Shinobu meant death.

The car ride back to her apartment was loud (you two fought for who gets to control the radio station.) And when she stepped out of the car, she knocked on the window. Thinking she forgot something, you rolled the window down only for her to lean in with a smile before she said, “What, no goodbye kiss?” You stared at her blankly before rolling the car window up and slowly pulling out of the driveway.

She didn’t appreciate how you flipped her the bird as you left.

In the past week, you’ve gotten good at misdirection. Or, you hope you’re good.

When people walk up to you to ask about Shinobu, you steer clear of the topic. Araceli is starting to give you weird looks and she’ll kick your shin under the table whenever you say, “Nevermind that,” because Shinobu is not a ‘ithat.’

“If you don’t start treating Shinobu better then I’ll snatch her right up,” Araceli warns and a big part of you wants to yell “g o f o r i t.” Araceli can tell that Shinobu wants to strangle you for being so cold and distant.

At this rate, her plan as well as the rest of the department’s will crumble like ash and she’ll do anything for $7,000 (the reward money continues to go up every few days.) On days where Araceli decides to just walk around campus and talk to her peers, they ask how Shinobu and (Y/n) are doing, and Araceli will give them a thumbs up.

She might have to give them a thumbs down next time.

Araceli groans to herself when she watches you split from Shinobu the second you two walk into the lab, and her brain quickly wracks up a plan to save this nightmare of a relationship.

“Hey. Shinobu!” Araceli smiles widely at the woman, who turns her head to give her undivided attention. “Why don’t you come over to (F/n) and I’s apartment after lab today?”

You head whips to your best friend at the speed of lightning and you beg Shinobu with your eyes to say “no.” But of course (cue a shitty impression of Shinobu’s high pitched voice) “I’m not that nice,” and Shinobu graciously accepts.

“Oh fuck me,” you grumble, and Shinobu passes by you before whispering, “Been there done that,” under her breath. You damn near throw a beaker at her but Araceli holds you back, yelling something about abuse.

The rest of your time in the lab goes uneventfully, much to your pleasure. Rama helps Shinobu, paging through her thick bound notebook with eyes boggling at what she wants to try in the near future. You think you hear him mumble something about an illegal substance, but you try not to pay it any mind since Shinobu doing dangerous things isn’t a surprise.

But in the final few minutes before you’re done with today’s progress in your experiment, Araceli breaks your concentration and you fumble with a beaker.

Eyes turn to you and everyone holds their breath at the sound of a loud clinking, but nothing shatters and that’s the best case scenario. Unfortunately, the substance in the beaker spills onto your coat sleeves and you click your tongue in annoyance.

“Oh my god we need to call an ambulance,” Araceli grabs you, but you yank your hold from her grasp with a roll of your eyes.

“It’s just water, chill,” you reassure her and she continues to apologize. Anything else and you might have died, but you haven’t had the chance to handle anything too dangerous yet. Araceli can rest easy knowing that you aren’t too interested in performing too many life threatening experiments.

At the tapping of heeled shoes, you raise a brow when Shinobu holds out a handkerchief to you. It’s not common for someone to just have a handkerchief on them, so you can only assume that Shinobu is either super prepared for everything (typical) or handkerchiefs are normal in Japan (respectable.)

Either way, you stare at the cloth in her hands warily and she sees your distrust. Shinobu huffs in annoyance, shoulders bunching together as she forces the handkerchief into your hands with a roll of her eyes.

“Just take it,” she sighs out, and you begrudgingly thank her for her service.

Araceli takes her time to stare at the two of you with patient eyes, and a soft smile crosses her lips as the thought that this might actually work out crosses her mind.

—

“I don’t know like don’t break the sink and throw your shit on the couch I guess.”

Nevermind.

Shinobu chucks her bag at you instead (“sorry my hand slipped”) and Araceli covers her ears when you start yelling, and then Shinobu starts attacking you with just as much bite (though with the amount of control that Shinobu holds over her tone of voice, Araceli has to admit that she’s much more scared of Shinobu than you.)

In Shinobu’s eyes, the apartment is… plain, to say the least.

There isn’t much evidence that you really live in the apartment. It all feels like Araceli, and when Shinobu glances into what she assumes is your room, she can’t pick up an ounce of life in it. It’s unnaturally cold, and she continues on her way to the bathroom.

You’re fully aware of how drab the apartment is too. Within the 10 minutes of shame that was you scrambling to dress yourself after that one night stand you took notice of how well decorated Shinobu’s apartment was.

It irks you how she might as well be an interior designer too.

True to her daily butterfly clip, the theme is purple with little butterfly decorations spread around. It’s a dainty look and you have to pay attention to detail to notice the small butterfly theme. Lilac purple sheets and greenery with wisteria flowers hanging in the kitchen to give a breath of life to the room.

There’s a big, round, gold framed antique mirror hanging near the entrance way that practically screams “I’m a boss ass bitch,” which would explain where Shinobu gets her confidence from. And when you fell into the bathroom to snatch your underwear back you saw bottles and sprays of multiple skincare products.

She’s meticulous in everything that she does and her apartment goes to show for that. The only sign of student life that you can see from Shinobu is her lab coat hanging from a (rather elaborate) coat hanger near the doorway.

But other than that, it just looks like an apartment fit for a queen.

Your own apartment, on the other hand, has a fucking bunsen burner in the kitchen. And sometimes you boil hot water for your cup ramen with it. Araceli hates the way you live, but as your childhood friend she puts up with the most.

“Hey, do you want some coffee or something? I’m heating up the burner!” You call out, struggling to click the lighter one (it’s 2 years old and you don’t want to spend the time going to the store to buy another one.)

When Shinobu doesn’t say anything you furrow your brows in confusion, and Araceli shrugs from her spot on the couch when you give her a look. You decide to give up on the burner (lighter won’t do its fucking job anyway) and instead slink down the hallway, cracking doors open to see where she’s gone.

At the end of the hallway, you find your door open the tiniest bit, a sliver of a golden ray from the setting sun peaking through. The blood rushes from your face when you realize where Shinobu is, and you’re quick to open the door.

There she stands, big doe eyes wide with wonder at the way the gold medal in her hand shines. You click your tongue at the sight of the medal and Shinobu finally snaps out of her trance, glazed eyes clearing and processing the words engraved on the back of the medal.

“Fuck, I forgot to throw that one away,” you snatch the medal from her hands and Shinobu blinks in surprise. Not by your brash and rude actions- she’s used to your asshole-ish tendencies now- but what the medal commemorates you for.

“Most outstanding athlete award?” Shinobu mumbles out, pondering over the idea.

Truth be told, Shinobu can’t even imagine you kicking a soccer ball. She can’t see you jumping to dunk a basketball. Hell, she can barely imagine you running a solid mile.

In the few years she has known you, the closest thing to physical activity that she has seen out of you was when you were running late for a class freshman year and power walked across the lawn (and even then you were late.)

Shinobu actually found the medal within a packed box in the corner of your room, dusty and sun bleached after years of being left untouched. Almost like an unburied treasure right before anyone’s eyes to see, but forgotten for a reason unknown.

She sees other trophies and plaques in the box, thrown in with a few awards broken due to lack of care. And yet, they still glow proudly, but the look on your face seems ashamed to be basked in its light.

“Uh, yeah, I dunno I fucked around with sports in high school I guess,” you play off, tossing the medal back into the box. Shinobu winces when she hears a rather aggressive clanking noise and she’s afraid that something broke, but you seem like you could care less.

“Why don’t you take care of these more? There’s so many! Surely you have something in here you’re proud of,” she huffs, crouching down to rummage through the box. She tries not to pay attention to the two silverfish she just saw scuttling around at the bottom.

There’s “Best Scholar” award and “First Place Tennis Champion” and “First Place Debate Team.” Shinobu finds a two-tiered soccer championship trophy that’s been broken in half to make space in the box, and she learns that you speak fluent enough Spanish to have won some speech contest.

All this hard work and dedication stored away in a tiny box, and Shinobu’s heart twists to see the state you’re in today. Because you could care less of a shit about hard work and dedication, and you care more about just looking smart with no effort.

In all honesty, you’re kinda just… there.

Known to be at the top of the class but unwilling to help your peers. Only there for the bare minimum or work required and not an ounce of interest shown towards extracurricular (Shinobu’s in four clubs and even she thinks that’s overkill.)

The final straw for her is when she sees a thick paper certificate, complete with a golden seal and an extravagant blue bow. It’s coffee stained a little and it’s been ripped in half, but there’s tape holding it together. It’s written proof that you took an international test for chemistry (Shinobu remembers entering this competition herself) and you actually won.

You beat Shinobu Kochou.

You beat the whole world.

“Wh- Why?! What happened?! Why did you just... Give up?!”

You shrug, hands tucked into your pockets with a bored look on your face. But just by looking at you the reality sets in for Shinobu and suddenly the way you act makes sense.

Because, “I dunno… When I started college I kinda fell out of love with the world and everything in it.”

You turn away from her dropped jaw and glossy eyes. There’s a weight on your chest that reminds you of everything you’re doing wrong. And now your enemy knows your most stupid secret.

Shinobu can’t help but feel sorry for you.

She sees a burnt out flame sputtering, barely glowing with life and being consumed by the dark. Inky black against a half hearted orange. The only time this flame seems to spark is when you have to gather yourself to enter a verbal fight with Shinobu, and she’s a fool to see how that’s all that’s left for you.

Her eyes cast its way back down to the box, and her nimble fingers gently fold the flaps back in on themselves. She’s not particularly fond of this treasure.

So Shinobu decides to do what she does best.

“Let me make you dinner tonight,” she smiles up at you from her place on the floor.

Your head whips to face your fake partner before you can even stop yourself from saying, “Ew. No. Why. You’re gonna poison me.”

And then she laughs.

Like, actually laughs.

It’s the first you’ve heard her laugh this genuinely before, her eyes closed and more than just a small chuckle. This laugh echoes throughout your cold room and makes a home in it, a warm laugh that makes you feel like you’ve eaten butterflies.

“No,” her laugh slowly dies down and she stands with grace, “but as a witch I’ll cast a spell so that you can start loving the world back. And we’ll start with my mean omelet rice,” Shinobu pumps and arm up, patting whatever imaginary bicep she has before skipping out of the room.

And now there’s another thing you hate about Shinobu Kochou.

Although this one is an indirect hate.

Still hate, though.

Anyway, you hate how you can’t fight the stupid grin off your face right now.

—

[ Next Chapter ]

#shinobu #kochou shinobu #shinobu kochou #shinobu kocho #kocho shinobu #kochou shinobu x reader #shinobu x reader #kocho shinobu x reader #kny #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer

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