#for my own enrichment lmao

[cookinguptales]

well, how about this, while I wait for the roofers to come fix the mess they made of my ceiling. just so I can feel like I'm doing something productive.

since my savings are now significantly smaller than they were a week and a half ago, I guess now's a good enough time as any to start talking about some half-decided plans I have for this upcoming story I've been writing, and perhaps other original stories as well if this goes well.

while I'm still going to be posting the bulk of my work on AO3 like I usually do, I think I'm also going to be launching a patreon!

here's the soft plan, though I'm still working out details:

serialize this story at a chapter each week, which will probably take a few months overall.

chapters will be posted to AO3 the same day every week, and a week early on patreon.

extra material will also be on patreon, from author commentary to essays on historical/mythological background that's going into the story to extra fics that will be a few thousand words each. (or... so.)

the main story will fully stand alone. extra scenes will be like... stuff happening from other POVs offscreen, flashbacks, a sappy post-story fic, etc.

after the story is fully done being posted, an ebook version of the story will be made available to patrons with thanks, etc. to everyone who supported the project.

??? repeat?? m/m minotaur story this time, f/f witch who owns a familiar animal shelter story next time. lmao

part of me is still like "no, no one will pay money to support your writing" but like. I've seen worse writers than me make money, I guess, so why not try? it's not like it can hurt, and it can be fun to experiment with new methods of distribution sometimes.

I'll probably post a survey once I've finished the rough draft of the fic so I can plan out the finer details, but that's my basic plan. I want to write the whole fic and edit it before I start posting anything, and at the rate I'm going... I'm aiming for the beginning of May? it's at about 70k rn, and I'm thinking it probably has about 10-20k to go.

so I guess we'll see!!!

in the meantime, if you are a person who is interested in any of this and you have feedback about the project, feel free to lmk! anon or logged in, either is fine. lemme know if there are any patreon perks you'd like to see or if you have ideas about pricing/tiers/etc.

I'm very new to this so I'm open to ideas and opinions!

fingers crossed. lmao

#I originally considered making the ebook available for purchase on patreon from the beginning #for people who didn't want to wait #but the more I thought about it the more I think serializing is the way to go #for my own enrichment lmao #I'm trying to get over my own mental block about selling my original writing #I have enough money saved up to replace my roof and for this upcoming medical procedure I'm gonna need #but that's only because I've been saving since before covid to renovate my bathroom to make it safe and accessible for me #and uhhh let's just say that that fund has been remarkably depleted 🙃 #so I'm trying to get over my very intense imposter syndrome ig #go out on a limb and try something new #I want to write the stories anyway so I guess this is just me experimenting with new distribution methods #can't hurt #worst that can happen is no one reads it #but my betas are enjoying it at least so I'm hoping other people will too

[hauntedhayderide]

Found some nice pencil brushes for csp so decided to do rendering practice while watching some let’s plays. Death Mark fandom I am new here please take my humble offering 🙇‍♂️

#couldn’t pick which version I liked more so I have both on here #definitely could’ve pushed the high lights more on the colored version #but I had already spent so much time fussing with it that I decided to let it be #also I feel like I didn’t do Mashita justice but decided to include him anyways #guess that means I just gotta draw them more lol #yashiki is super fun to draw tho so I probably will draw him again at least #I gave him more facial hair for my own personal enrichment lmao #truly a wet cat of a man #currently almost done watching a LP for NG but I’m considering buying the sequel tbh it scratches a particular itch for me #illustration #death mark #kazuo yashiki #satoru mashita #hauntedartride

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Yo do you have like a masterpost explaining the fantasy au???? I've been eating that shit up it is DELIGHTFUL and VERY well done 10/10 but I'm not 10000% sure what's going on bc I found your blog kinda recently lol

Also I hope you feel better, sorry you're sick <3

uhhhh not really! things on this blog are Very spread out bc im not serious about aus enough to make like. masterposts or big explanations. its for funsies Not seriousies.

but you can piece it together through the au tag, which every post is tagged with, either through my archive (recommended) or by just clicking on the tag (not recommended)

#aus are just me fuckin around and finding out! <3 #plus. its enrichment for you guys #gotta go digging... gotta piece it together yourselves... #i say as if ive been planting like. idk secrets or whatever #which i havent lmao #that would be a whole lotta Effort! and i couldnt be fucked! #gotta save the real brainpower for my own things yk yk #and for ripping WH apart like a dog with its favorite chew toy ofc <3 #rambles from the bog #also Thank You! #through the power of dayquil and frequent naps i am surviving! #i will Persevere!

[here-there-be-drag0ns]

me, giving my dog a bowl of ice with treats frozen inside it that will occupy him for a While: haha silly dog with your silly enrichment toy. surely we have nothing in common!

me, not even ten minutes later: oh boy genloss!!

#dragons chatting #if you dont get it both the bowl of frozen treats and genloss are Enrichment in the Enclosure of approximately the same kind #if my dog just lets the ice melt on its own he will eventually get the treats gradually and also extra water to drink #but if he gnaws on and licks at the ice he gets the water and treats much faster #he can do either one with the same reward but its more enriching for him to work for the treats #with generation loss its a gradual reveal horror project im invested in #if i am patient and wait eventually the mystery will be released in full and other people will unravel it and lay it out so its easy to see #but its faster and more enriching for me to pick apart and analyze each installment as we get it and put my theories together myself #its rewarding to use my brain on something i enjoy to work and rework theories until i solve the puzzle #my dog and i both enjoy the same type of enrichment just in Very Different Forms lmao #genloss #generation loss

[peculiaritybending]

Are there any songs you associate with Nikki Swango and Mr. Wrench's relationship? Or either character on their own?

And would you be cool with me blowing up your DMs with questions for the Nikki & Wrench fic we talked abt yesterday? I'm an episode away from finishing S1 and I've started outlining!

I have no clue why but Sometimes I Wish I Was Dead by Depeche Mode reminds me of them. More the vibe than the lyrics. The lyrics themselves are pretty short and ambiguous. I was looking through my Spotify to find songs and for some reason this lyric here I was like “yeah that’s them.”

Idk man it’s just the idea that they bring each other this level of comfort, stability & understanding is so ….ugh it’s so real to me. Honestly, it’s probably also because of that video of Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Russel Harvard dancing together on set because you know, dancing mention. Also “and don’t you think that it’s a crime” feels very them because I think they’re both very hesitant with trusting people and forming friendships with others based on their personalities and what they’ve been through. Also, you know, “crime”, they’re criminals.

Not sure about specific songs but Nikki gives me Pixies and Breeders vibes and Wrench gives me Orville Peck and Fields Of The Nephilim vibes. I’m too tired to look through the lyrics of some of their songs right now but if I think of any that fit either of them specifically I’ll definitely let you know and will be posting about it!

Also yes it’s very okay for you to DM me about your Nikki & Wrench fic, encouraged even, I’m dying to talk about them !! Thank you for asking first :) !! I very much look forward to hearing about your ideas hehe

#why’d I say vibes so much I don’t like using that word it’s annoying but that’s the only word for it really #also if I’m slow to respond that’s because I’m too busy for my own good rn lmao #this is so fun I’m getting enrichment in my enclosure!!! #nikki swango #wes wrench #fargo #asks

[trash-nerd]

ever been so bored u just wanna

rip you skin off with ur teeth???

#i'm stuck in the trash #girls we need Enrichment In The Enclosure #im dying tho legit like. idk going out and watching groups of friends is Depressing lmao so i dont want to do that again #my only other option is to ask my dad if he wants to do something but also im sick of only going out with my parents like #i dont feel 24!!!!! #i have No social life and have no idea how to get one bc idk how to fuckin talk to ppl unless its job related #then it all goes out the fucking window and im just. awkward and sitting there #idk i just want to rend my own flesh lol #would knit but im broke 1 days after payday so i can afford shit lmao!!! #writing rn feels like pulling teeth bc apparently i get 3 days of solid writing and then Boom. nothing so #Plus! ive been fucking exhausted for weeks sleep is doing nothing and i cant! stop! the mirgaines!!!!! #hhsgshsgsg

[sadilga]

day five (?) of yoga block training but this time with an actual brick

#yes it's that book is les mis #it's a multi purpose tool tbh #i have even used one les mis book as a pillow in math class lmao #ANYWAY #he learned this so fast im. yeah boy where do you keep all that brain?? #mine #cats #own pics #own pets #mikki #cat training #cat enrichment #also: pics taken by my s/o because i just went OHHH MY GOD TAKE A PIC NOW when mikki did That

[autumndragons]

got some mini cucumbers at the store and these are insanely satisfying to my wolf brain lol

crunch crunch

#txts #think i should pair these with a boiled Egge #attempting to find ways to provide my own enrichment lmao

[canis-dies]

found something new to chew on :)

#something something dog something something enrichment #something something treat me like a dog and ill fucking act like one #idk behavioral euthanasia or whatever #grrr if only i had my own body to kill as i pleased i dont WANT gin to be met with the consequences of my actions #sometimes i do really feel like a muzzled dog trained to be docile #sitting leashed at someone's heel to be fussed over and fucking hell does that test my patience #and the closest thing to affection i can show is to not bite the hand coddling me because it has good intentions. #maybe lick it and wag my tail a little if im not on edge. be docile and pliant or whatever #... only applies to three people though. anyone else would get their hand ripped off. lmao. #ooo im trying so hard to be good and not some rabid dog you found on the side of the road #but theres so much blood on my teeth im scared to bare them and let anyone see how much there is #terrified to give anyone else the opportunity to get close because ill just open my dumb fucking mouth and well. thats the end of that. #the knowledge that one day ill end up seriously injuring or scaring someone I care about and well #back to being a wild dog on the side of the road for me. #fuck i feel like some random mutt trying to be a show dog

[snubbullls]

Everytime I go on tiktok and see someone posting about their "pets" (wild animals that absolutely should not be kept in a house/around kids) i wanna kill someone with a rock

#just saw a video of someone's mink biting the shit out of their neck set to cutesy music #and all of the comments were like 'awwww 🥺🥺 he's so spicy i want one!!' #like?? maybe don't own non domesticated animals lmao #also that 'so totally adorable and not dangerous at all' video of a savannah cat playing with a toddler going around gives me hives #i will die on this hill #it's just so sad seeing animals who's needs are obviously not being properly met being plastered on every social media for.. idk clout? #and when they lash out at someone/something it's either 'spicy baby i wanna hold it' or 'no one could've forseen this tragedy 💔 ' #I did!! I forsaw your enrichment deprived wild animal's 'sudden and unpredictable' attack you fucking moron #do not reblog i don't want weirdos in my asks trying to argue about why it's their god given right to own an opossum they found in the yard

[infamous-if]

Happy 1 year anniversary to this blog!

It was yesterday...though I do find it fitting that I've been focused on writing so much that I forgot lmao

When I first had the idea for Infamous, I didn't work on it right away. The concept was cool, yeah, but was it enough for interactive fiction? A medium I never even tried before?

I let it marinate in my head for a while wondering if it would be a good story or not. I listened to a lot of music, made a lot of idea boards and outlined routes but told myself I wasn't actually writing it. Just playing in a new literary sandbox with no strings! I was very close to not publishing my idea because it felt like it wasn't a story that I could handle. And it was daunting. I've published stories before, but they were completed novels that I could just forget about it and move on from once I was done. This was a commitment! I kept asking myself if I was even a good enough writer for the plans I had haha

But it didn't stop bothering me and I was getting irritable over my own brain creating this whole world without my permission. So I posted the intro post on a whim just to see what would happen! Turns out, I'm really happy I did!

One year later and there's been a whole community of people who have enriched the story and elevated it to a place that I wouldn't have been able to do it on my own. The amazing fanfics, the head canons, fan art and the suggestions, it's been really nice to work on this with the support and encouragement I've gotten. I think the best parts of the story so far have come from the collective, not me, and knowing that there are people who watched me serve my ideas on a platter like "here. take it pls." and accepted it is really nice. I'm grateful :)

thank you guys for reading the story and being kind to me and my ideas and having so many discussions over these characters that were once just in my mind, alone with me to tend to them. and to the if authors who have been here much longer, thank you for welcoming me with open arms. thank you to the group of if authors in particular who took me under their wing and gave me advice on how to handle things and how to move forward. you didn't have to come into my dm's and give me guidance or help me, but you did anyway and im eternally grateful!

I'm excited for 2024 to be the year that we really dive into the story. I still can't believe we're only 2 chapters in. it feels much longer, doesn't it? lololol

thanks!! <3

#one year anniversary #Amy yapping

[moooncats]

✿ Pick A Card : Your Toxic Traits ₍₍ (̨̡ ‾᷄ᗣ‾᷅ )̧̢ ₎₎ ✿

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✿ Pile 1 ✿

Popular Loner

Detatched as fuuuuck. 💀 Oof pile 1, I'm hearing you convey the same energy as an Aquarius/Libra. You don't have to be that particular sign, but you do display simmilar traits. With that pile 1, you are very smart and you know that in some situations your words may cut like a knife... and yet you still full send them lmfao. This pile is goofy af, on top of that you are very hard to get a hold of. Deadass I'm seeing you tend to fall off the face of the planet, then randomly reactivate your social media's and positing again to see who missed you or whats buzzing. 🐝 ✨️ I'm hearing "Whats the tea 🍵?¿" Your card Pile 1 was the Queen of Swords. Althought it may seem like a favorful card, this is actually far from the truth. You are so in touch with your logic based brain that you are failing when it comes to connecting to your own emotions. They are turned off so you can percieve things as they actually are and continue to stay on the high pedstal that you put yourself on. Pile 1, I'm seeing here that so many people want to collaborate with you, but you love them at a distance. You rarely do anything else that isn't hanging out with your family doing errands, or working and stacking up silently. This may also be my piles who work from home. You prefer to be secluded in your own energy and most don't know that much about you. You may also be very "vocal" when it comes to your social media. This can lead to "trolling" or "fights" that happen. Pile 1 lets be honest, you like to stir the pot lmfao. Messsyyyy.

✿ Advice From Spirit ✿

Your Angel guides and spirits think you'll grow out of this phase. So that's good news right there pile 1. You may be on the Younger side, or have a youthful way of thinking. Honestly, you as a person is very likable. You tend to gravitate people towards you just from vibes alone, and people love that about you. I'm hearing, "You need to rationalize better, and use honesty in your everyday life with straightfowardness". With this type of living, your encounters will become enriched with trust from your own judgment and maintain integrity in your day to day life. I'm also hearing "Be there for people more, open up your boundaries and live life day by day, be present". Once you genuinely want to spend time with more people, you will reach the point of your life where you can be of guidance to others. Just like how the Queen of Swords was. Less Arguments, and more Growth. 🌱 (:

Channeled Songs:

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✿ Pile 2 ✿

Fight Club

"THANK GOD I AIN'T HAVE TO SMACK A B**** TODAY"

Why do you feel the need to even have to fight if you'll always come out right in the end? Like whats the use... I'm seeing someone who likes to get receipts, facts, everythinggggg before they start to go psycho mode and yell at people to defend their own ideals. Pile 2, your card was 5 of Swords. I'm hearing Smack a Bitch by Rico Nasty.

Especially when she say's "Don't work at MAC, but I'll beat a bitch's face". Bwahahaha Pile 2 you are fighters let's go! It reminds me of something my gamer girl friend always says "Violence is always the answer". While it may seem true to you; ya do know that sometimes it's better to let things settle and silence is always an answer as well? Why must you add more flames into the conversation just to set everything and everyone on fire? Contemplate on that thought pile 2 lmfao. You may think that you're very defensive and you wouldn't hurt a fly but babyyyy Tarot ain't lying here Lmao. Lemme call you out (with love ofc haha ♡). Pile 2 you are seen as a hot pan. Filled with oil and if one spec of water touches you, you'll go ape shit hahah. People around you have learned to just keep you happy and fed so you don't go all aggro on them. They know you hold grudges secretly until you kinda just dgaf then full send all those emotions that were held deep inside. Honey, you have to do some shadow work before you make everyone around you run. Trust me being lonely is not a flex. As human beings, we need to be surrounded by each other to function properly.

✿ Advice From Spirit ✿

Please look within yourself and ask for help from your loved ones. I'm hearing "We just want to know that you are okay". Giiiiirl, soooo many people are trying to reach out to you- yet you give them the cold shoulder and take on all this pain as your own... it is not. You are amazing, wonderful, LOVED. You have people around you who want to help, let them pile 2. I'm seeing that they are your soul tribe, and they will help you through the grief and pain you are going through. Your Angel Guides and Spirits want you to gain Fortitude during these times, it is great to be resillient and compassionate during these times. They also want me to bring up shadow work. It will help you a lot on your jouney here on earth. Please start journaling all those past trauma's so they can heal and you can be more level headed and yourself. (: Heres a hug pile 2, you'll get through it one day. ♡

Channeled Songs:

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✿ Pile 3 ✿

Depersonalization

You are it baby. Honey, You're a star did you know that?

All eyes are on you. You may have already known that from a young age, but I'm seeing here that you tend to dim your light so others can shine more. Why do you do that? Stars are meant to be seen. You are supposed to be guiding people, but instead you're making others guide randoms and they have nothing in common? Lmfao I'm seeing you being extremely friendly to everyone and when one bad person says something wrong about you, your whole friend group is broken up cause you trusted too easily and you made someone else their star. Giiiiirl get it together. You are deadass the main character without even trying, yet you feel insecurities that aren't even there. Seriously who says one star is better than the other? They are all equally beautiful. And like a snowflake, no two are like the other. Your card was The Star pile 3. ⭐️✨️ You are constantly putting bad eggs on the pedastal while you reduce yourself down to less than that of dirt. It's so sad to hear and see pile 3. People can clearly see that you are insecure, and you like to hold feelings like jealousy because you feel a sense of incomplete. Oof that was really deep pile 3, please let me know if I hit a nerve. This is coming from love I promise. ♡♡♡

✿ Advice From Spirit ✿

Pile 3, never let your dreams die. You know that you are on the right path when you are following it with clear conscice intentions. Your spirit already knows what to do. Just tap into your intuition and follow it. Embrace your unique talents and always let them shine brightly. Have faith in the universe and you will forever shine brightly like a star in the night sky. ♡ Please start listening to empowering songs that will make you feel amazing and great. I added in two from my playlist for you pile 3. Please make sure to read the lyrics and use it as a daily affirmation. You will 100% feel the difference in 2 weeks max. ♡

Channeled Songs:

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Mahalo for reading this! If you enjoyed it please leave a like and comment down below. Comments always make my day honestly. ♡ I hope what I said did not offend people. It was advice sent from spirit with love. ♡ You are all amazing, wonderful, rad individuals! (: Remember to drink and stay hydrated baby bats! 🦇 ^-^ Moooncats out! 🚀⭐️✨️

#baby witch #intuition #intuitive #pac #pick a card #tarot #tarotreading #tarotblr #tarot blog #moooncatstarot #free tarot #witchblr #SoundCloud #Spotify

[saltymongoose]

Streamer player who got into the game with their phone and aren't exactly behaving the way the employers expected them to at first💥

Auditor goes on his little monologue about you being important to this entire reality and how you being locked up in here is non-negotiable and how you can't just leave! They finally got you here and they're so excited-

Player is giving no visual reactions but he keeps on talking (he. Is acting a bit out of pocket now that the player is finally here! You can't blame him!!!)

Then suddently they just kinda.

Player is now visibly irritated and typing up a longgg post abt them having to stop streaming for now and how they love their fans and won't stop interacting!!! It will just take longer to post significant content! And apologising profusely to their followers.

As they're doing this they start a very upset rant about the situation they're in

Like they go all the way off💥💥 going from how badly planned their kidnapping was and how if they really wanted the player to stay in this bland little concrete room the employers should have at the very least let them grab a charger. Did they even know if humans could breathe in this atmosphere?? They could have died! Did they even take their medication with them? No? Of course not. God, can it even get any worse? Oh! And just so you know, being locked in a small boring enviroment is very detrimental to any human's mental state! Do they even know if food in nevada can fit their dietary requirements?? If the auditor didn't go on that rant about the importance of the player, they'd assume they were captured to get tortured! If this is the level of planning the employers were capable of, then they could see why they couldn't catch Hank yet.

40 minutes after being left in the room by themselves the player gets out and they apologize for getting so mad.🫡

(What the rest of the employers see after the auditor leaves the player's room)

Omg, it's something the Employers never expected to see. The consequences of their own actions. 🤯

Yes, we love to see the Player sticking it to the Auditor (and the rest of the Employers), and they do have a point. Besides the observations they made over your webcam, they had no other source of information on humans, and it's not like watching someone play video games and go about their business in their room can tell you about all their needs. Your biology is completely unfamiliar to them, and who knows if you need any specialized medical care to deal with any disorders or ailments you have? Like if you were diabetic, how the hell would you get insulin? Do they even have insulin in Nevada? What about food? Or enrichment? Humans are social creatures, and it's not like talking only to the four of them would be sufficient for that. And that's just a few things in addition to the arguments you gave in your ask as well.

I like to think that the Player is just so done with the situation that they're the one who orders the Auditor to leave the room while they type out a message to their followers. I mean, they just woke up in a whole other dimension/world after being kidnapped. It's not like they'd be all that comfortable with just chilling in the room with the Auditor after giving him the verbal lashing they did lmao. 

Meanwhile, the Employer is just beside himself, because he can't exactly weasel his way out of responsibility here or argue against what the Player said - because they're right. The Auditor took a major gamble by really just assuming they would be able to survive there off of some similar details in their surroundings, and if he were any less impulsive, he'd have done some further tests to see if such a thing was really feasible.

What makes it worse for him is that I'm also willing to bet that Stygian or one of the other Employers suggested doing just that, but he didn't listen to them because he never listens to them lmao. (Also I love that picture of the Auditor, it's one of my favorite things in the world now, no joke.) 

And it's not like they're going to comfort or support him once he steps out of the room either. In fact, they'll probably chastise him (Stygian totally would at least), and then insist that you were entirely right and they don't think you should apologize at all. 

Maybe they're doing it for extra brownie points, as the Auditor's clear fuckup in your eyes provides a very good opportunity to make themselves look good (even if it's extremely hypocritical lol). But then you reference their own work to help the Auditor's plan and throw it back in their faces because you just know he could never do this whole operation alone. (And you're still important to other people besides them regardless, like your beloved fans who're gonna have to deal with the fallout of their selfishness.)

However, fortunately for the other three, your scolding is far less harsh than it had been on the Auditor. That doesn't mean you won't still make a point of it when necessary though.

#omg the Auditor's face #it's the 🥺 for me #Player: Damn. If you think “Auditing Nevada” is hard #ask #chat tag #cuch1 #other's art #fav #madness combat x reader #self aware m:pn au #samau

[something-about-sunflowers]

Maybe this is a controversial take (it shouldn’t be, its in the text) but.

People really need to come to terms with the fact that Edward ‘loves a good maim‘, ‘made some poor bloke eat his own toes for a laugh’, ‘thoroughly enjoyed whippies/yardies/turtle vs crab/Calico Jack’s Whole Deal’, ‘Blackbeard always wins and I don’t even have to try and I’m bored of that’, ‘first instinct is to go for the gun’, ‘gouged an eye out of some lad’s skull and called it an anecdote’, ‘set a ship on fire with people still inside and called it a technicality’, ‘capable of becoming the Kraken’ Teach enjoys violence. (No moral judgements here, violence is rarely taken seriously by the narrative and he’s literally a pirate)

On the flip side: Israel ‘flashy sword work without so much as scratching Stede’, ‘concerned about the loss of lives of the Queen Anne’s crew’, ‘offers a quick death for Stede to Edward’, ‘loser is banished from the ship’, ‘negotiated for only Stede to be killed despite the rest of the pirates on the ship’, ‘takes away rations instead of flogging for insubordination’, ‘wants Blackbeard because people don’t fight Blackbeard’ Hands does not, actually, enjoy violence. He puts on a lot of bluster but ultimately everything he does is meant to keep himself (and Edward) safe, which requires a reputation for violence but necessitates a lack of actual serious violence (for the sake of violence at least).

Ed likes violence because its enrichment for his perpetually under-stimulated ADHD mind, he is the tiger with the meat pumpkin. Izzy doesn’t like violence because he just wants to survive and its so much harder to do that if you’re getting in needless fights.

I don’t necessarily agree that Izzy is a cut and dry masochist, it might be the only way he knows how to connect (intricate rituals and all that) but I don’t think its something he’d go for first if he knew there were other options that were safe to want (its why he’s so perplexed by Lucius, who has the connections without the violence), but even if you do think he is: its a different kind of violence. Its not violence for the sake of violence. Its an exchange of trust. ‘I trust you to hurt me but not to harm me.’

Idk I feel like I’m always repeating myself in my meta posts lmao, but like. I can’t just not say something and let people continue to be wrong about fictional characters on the internet can I? lmfao That’d be awful.

#the dork is being a dork #izzy hands #edward teach #when i tell you how fuckin hesitant i am to tag ed lmfao #i should not feel like im poking a hornets nest because im tagging everyone's favorite woobie 'not technically' murderous pirate #talking about how‚ canonically‚ he is actually pretty murderous and he's happy to be #(i LIKE ed and i like him violent! but he's fucked up! not uniquely fucked up and i like him BECAUSE he's fucked up anyway but he is!) #and because im also saying that everyone's favorite scapegoat isn't actually the devil in the form of a 5 foot nothing man with a great rack #and a daddy kink #anyway this isn't in response to anything #just something i've been thinking about lately

[thieves-in-the-palace]

jumps into ur ask box hello. hi. what are ur ng+ time loop thoughtz

god i have. a lot of thoughts about ng+ time loops in general. in relation to this post tho i specifically have Some Thoughts about Akira going through the loops trying to figure out why he's stuck there, how to get out, etc and also having to contend with Akechi dying every time but also like…the inevitable emotional cycles that come with watching the same guy die over and over.

✧ "Who is more unlucky here? The one who will die every time but never remember? Or the one who will live every time and always remember?" –> "Me. I'm the more unlucky one. What's this dude's fucking problem" –> "What's MY fucking problem? Why does this keep happening to me? Why doesn't anyone else remember? Why can't I escape this? Why does Akechi have to die every time??" –> "What's this dude's FUCKING problem–"

✧ does it count as a parasocial relationship if you know the guy irl and also it's based on the weird sense of kinship that comes with being doomed to repeatedly live through the same year over and over while he's doomed to die every time. hand in hand they are BOTH doomed baybee

✧ You know how Akechi is often portrayed as having Death Note-esque internal monologues when interacting with Akira? That but Akira is having his own wildly different internal monologue that sounds a lot like "okay you shit idiot. what's it gonna take to keep you from dying"

✧ The rest of the Thieves are surprised when Akira doesn't seem to react to Akechi's death, but they figure he's trying to keep it together for the sake of the mission. Truly tho Akira is mentally cussing Akechi out and lamenting the fact they're gonna have to fight god again soon. rip lawboy you would've loved fighting ol' yaldy

✧ Futaba hacks Akira's phone (for enrichment) and sees his most recent google search "is it bad to stop feeling bad after the 15th time you watch the same person die or are you allowed to start getting annoyed about it" – maybe he's going through something similar to what she went through w/ her mom? She starts prodding him about his past, but it doesn't really get her anywhere…

(If u want to get even more into Game-Based Reality Nonsense u could even say that Futaba can't find anything on Akira aside from his criminal record. No hospital records, no school info, no nothing. It's like the guy didn't even exist before the day he got arrested. Akira might not have any answers either, which, u know, doesn't help with the mental strain caused by being stuck in a time loop. Does he even exist outside of the loop? If the loop ended, would he disappear with it? etc etc)

✧ At the beginning of each loop, Akira makes a list of things that might break the time loop, updating it as needed. "Akechi survives" is at the top of the list every time bc it's one of the only things that never happens.

✧ Akira just generally having a slightly shorter temper w/ Akechi bc truly. How do u go through this sort of ordeal w/o wanting to rattle him like a maraca after a point. He won't hesitate to call Akechi cringe when the guy leans too heavily on his Pleasant Lawboy™ persona.

They wind up sparring in Mementos more frequently bc this Akira is more willing to entertain Akechi's bloodlust; fighting is a good outlet for Akira's own frustrations. Akechi keeps getting more and more annoyed each time tho bc why tf can this attic trash keep up with him? How is he predicting Akechi's attacks so well? (Akechi's going to start spitting fire if he ever finds out Akira has been holding back during their fights lmao. Akira can easily trounce him in 1v1 since like…3 loops ago?)

✧ Akira spending so much time annoyed and even furious w/ Akechi for not having enough self-preservation to survive even one loop only to ultimately circle right back into The Guilt + Sorrow bc god, all this time and he still can't figure out how to keep this fuckhead alive?

And it IS guilt Akira feels, unfortunately. Makoto and Futaba were both antagonistic towards the Phantom Thieves at first, too. Just spending some time with them was enough to reveal how getting screwed over by adults guided their actions; it doesn't absolve them of threatening the group, but it makes them easier to forgive.

Akira wonders, sometimes, if he's too quick to forgive Akechi. He's killed people, and he claims to be perfectly okay with being a murderer so long as it means he can reach his goals. But Akechi is a liar all the way down, too, because a cold-hearted killer wouldn't sacrifice himself for his enemies. He wouldn't give up his only shot at vengeance so easily after going through years of hell to achieve it. Yet Akechi still dies in that boiler room every time. Akechi never truly hates Akira, and Akira can't quite bring himself to ever truly hate Akechi, either.

But then Akira sees Akechi alive and well and smiling for the camera in the next loop, and he gets the abrupt urge to lay the guy out.

✧ "I want you to live. I also never want to see you again."

✧ And all of this is w/o getting into P5R's third semester hijinks. Akira thinking he's finally escaped the time loop only to realize that something Worse is happening now.

And Akechi is still there, because of fucking course he is–

#sorry for the delay on this btw! (<-cursed w/ tendency to draft asks and forget to post them) #ask #anonymous #persona 5 #p5 #akira kurusu #ren amamiya #goro akechi #Kidd speaking #ng+ time loops are. my beloveds my breads n butters #this isn't intended to be shuake but it can EASILY be read as such jhfgfgjhfg #ng+ time loop v1

[mod2amaryllis]

I'm waiting for this migraine to die so I'm gonna tell you guys about Marshall, the dog who made me quit. read on if you wanna learn about extended quarantine and why this job sucks sometimes and other times is the most rewarding thing on the planet, often for the same reasons lmao.

in 2021, the weight of covid was kinda crashing down. i heard this was the case for a lot of health workers. we switched into emergency mode throughout 2020 and powered through, then the rest of the world decided to try and "get back to normal" a year later, giving no regard to the people who'd been working like a speeding train with the brakes off all that time. i was losing it!!! add a few more hay bales to my back when we hired a new doc who was the most demanding dude I'd ever met (still is, but we've come to some understanding lol) and who decided to run me as ragged as possible the first day he was left to his own devices.

that was the day Marshall came in.

i didn't talk about this back then because the outcome of the case was uncertain and the details so specific, but here's the run down knowing that 2 years later, Marshall is living his best life. when he was a baby, too young to have received a rabies vaccine, his owners found a rabies positive bat in the house. the state vet will always recommend euthanasia in these situations, OR, if you can somehow find and afford the option, a 6 month quarantine. this was such a tragic situation the owners were willing to try to save him. my clinic happens to have a decent isolation ward that's rarely in use; we use it for infectious patients like parvo puppies, uri's that have to be hospitalized, etc. so my boss agreed to take him for those 6 months. but the owners' caveat was that if he wasn't mentally adjusting to isolation after a couple weeks, they would euthanize so as not to put him through it and leave him with lifelong behavior issues.

that day, when animal control brought Marshall in the middle of an insane rush, we were short staffed and already at the end of our ropes with this new doc. i was the only qualified person who could talk to the officer. i was the only person who could take him back to isolation. the act of putting a 12 week old puppy in a 4 x 4 run where i knew he would either spend 6 months untouched, or never see the outside again, broke me. last straw.

i was a mess, for the rest of that day and the rest of that weekend having to go in and take care of him, when it was too early for him to adjust so i was sure he wouldn't make it. I'd come home sobbing. eventually jose was just like, "this isn't worth it any more," and i sent in a two weeks notice. i'd come close to doing so many times in the previous 6 years but never pulled the trigger. it took a total meltdown. my managers responded with regret, but understanding.

i wish i could've just felt free and done with it but for those two weeks i was just uncertain. this job is so complicated. the benefits for my pets are enormous; it's my main social network; it's income; I'm good at it and it gives me purpose. it's just also hell on earth! with no pressure from anyone else one way or the other, by the end of two weeks I'd decided to instead try going part time. that's where I'm at 2 years later so guess it worked lol.

but! there was still Marshall. shortly after we took him, we also happened to get a call for the same situation on 2 cats, and decided to take them as well. 3 animals on a 6 month quarantine. very new and daunting for all of us.

that first weekend was hard, but slowly, Marshall figured things out. it was the least ideal situation imaginable and i was at rock bottom and so was he, but i had this moment of like.....ok. if he wants to make this work, I'm gonna do as right by him as possible. and of course all us techs were helping him (one of my road dog coworkers always opened so i referred to her as his "morning mom") but i in particular took a special interest in training and enrichment. it became a passion. i was working less, but i volunteered extra weekends so i could see him more.

he was so young he hadn't even done much basic command training, and the fact that i couldn't touch him at all was a challenge. i started with a clicker to signal I'd rolled a treat into his run, since i couldn't give it to him directly. over those months we went through the basics: sit, down, paw, touch, using a back scratcher for a hand. part of the worry was him getting enough exercise; we noticed that when he'd get agitated, he'd jump on the bars non stop. i was like hmm that might be our only option, so i made "up" a command. i'd basically run burpies for exercise, up-sit-down-sit-up. he was a fast learner, very attentive. seeing him keep his wits about him like that was straight up thrilling. he even "potty trained" himself, barking like crazy whenever he'd go to the bathroom so we'd know right away he needed the run cleaned.

in the ward, there are 2 runs and 3 kennels. i trained Marshall to go back and forth between runs so we could clean. we'd have his food waiting for him in the next run over so he could eat while we'd clean; at the midday switch, he'd have a doggie popsicle. he was such a smart dog i knew toys and treats alone weren't cutting it for enrichment, and i couldn't constantly train him when i still had to be doing the rest of my job.

i started having everyone save every single box and paper-packaging that came in. i'd unfold some boxes for "bedding," so he'd at least have something between him and the concrete (he'd chew and eat any blanket we tried giving him). the rest, i turned into puzzles. i put treats inside and closed them up. put big boxes on their side in his run so he could go in and out. crumpled up paper-packaging with treats mixed in for him to dig through. every day i'd turn one run into a box-toy paradise, let him in, clean the other, and by the time i was checking back in on him he was snoozing in a pile of destruction. success. when other techs wouldn't go to the same lengths, i'd stay late pre-making his boxes and telling people to just throw them in dammit. i also queued several ambient sound playlists, birdsong cityscapes etc, to play on the weekend days when he was alone for long periods.

the months went by like this. i learned more about training, enrichment, and most specifically quarantine than i ever had outside of my experiences with my own puppies. we fell into a routine. we straight up loved each other, he was part of my life. he'd been this horrible trigger and pretty much doubled my workload, but he got to live.

then there were the cats! they were a little easier than Marsh just because they were already adults so didn't have all this energy to wrangle. for them, daily cleaning of course, taking turns going into the 1 empty kennel where i'd have treats, catnip, and other "new" smells waiting for them. for enrichment i focused on reconfiguration. every 2-3 days i'd rearrange things in their kennels, with the big pieces being a litter box, a bed, and an upright sturdy box (so they could either be in it or on top of it, giving them one upper level). it was habitat tetris. we'd play with strings and use the back scratcher for pets. then about every week, i'd switch their kennels to slightly change their view AND traded beds to mingle scents. they were from the same household and we were worried there'd be difficulty re-bonding after not being in direct contact for so long. they also did very well by the end of 6 months aside from gaining a lot of weight (oops). i learned just as much from them, and would love to help anyone else who might struggle with needing to quarantine pets.

i've seen people posting for help about similar situations and just wanna scream from the rooftops: the beginning is very daunting and hopeless, but animals aren't like us!!!!!! they do the best with what they got!!!!! if you work hard and keep them clean and develop a routine it'll all work out!!!!! Marshall walked out of there at 6 months a normal happy puppy in desperate need of a haircut.

it's interesting because i've never interacted much with his owners. i don't think they know i'm the one who kept him from losing his mind in there, even though everyone else at the clinic does, and i'm weirdly ok with that. the other day he came in cuz the dummy ate a bunch of meds he wasn't supposed to; the doc brought him to the back and instantly, Marshall rushed right for me. he still remembers me in a good way. there's still love. it's like...one of the few patient relationships i've had that feels truly deeply personal. in retrospect i think he had a bigger hand in healing my relationship with this career and animals in general than i realized at the time.

so thanks for making me quit Marshall. i feel a lot better now.

(i don't have any pics of him from that time (tragic ssd card accident) but he was an overgrown doodle puppy so he looked like this.)

#vet med #vet tech #work stuff #m2a #I've always wanted to tell this story it had such an impact on me